WEBVTT - The More We Get Together

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<v Speaker 1>A man with a beard wearing a blue Hawaiian shirt

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<v Speaker 1>strides onto a stage. He peers out into the packed

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<v Speaker 1>concert hall. The audience is full of feathered hair and

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<v Speaker 1>thick coke bottle glasses, bowl cuts and oshkosh bagosh overalls.

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<v Speaker 1>It's definitely He pauses and takes a seat. Hello, Hi,

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<v Speaker 1>boys and girls, Oh, mom's and dads. His eyes land

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<v Speaker 1>on each and every face in the crowd like he's

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<v Speaker 1>trying to make an intimate connection grandmas and grandpas. He's

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<v Speaker 1>not in a rush, Hello, do you It's almost like

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<v Speaker 1>he's slowing down time. And once he's sure he's got

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<v Speaker 1>all eyes on him, he begins. The more we get

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<v Speaker 1>together together together, the more we get together happier. The

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<v Speaker 1>more we get together, the happier will be talk about

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<v Speaker 1>a hopeful statement. I can hear you singing already. Oh

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<v Speaker 1>the more we get together together. Hearing this song now

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<v Speaker 1>with little kids singing in the background, it's almost too much,

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<v Speaker 1>coming off nearly two years of isolation. Who doesn't want

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<v Speaker 1>to get together? It's so obvious that this is what

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<v Speaker 1>we're missing togetherness. I'm gonna sing it again and I'll

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<v Speaker 1>see if I can get every single person in the

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<v Speaker 1>whole place to sing, and maybe even the chairs will

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<v Speaker 1>sing with this the more we get together. This guy

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<v Speaker 1>is Raffie Kabukian, but you might know him is just Raffi.

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<v Speaker 1>He's one of the most famous children's musicians of all time.

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<v Speaker 1>He's like the Beatles of kids music. Raphy has released

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<v Speaker 1>twenty four albums albums that went gold and platinum. He

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<v Speaker 1>played for presidents the Dalai Lama and Nelson Mandela, Ring Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring,

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<v Speaker 1>Banana Phone. He had a sold out show on Broadway,

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<v Speaker 1>was nominated three times for a Grammy. The Simpsons even

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<v Speaker 1>based a character after him. Something about this guy and

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<v Speaker 1>his music is captivating. Down by the date where the

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<v Speaker 1>Lotos go back to my home, I dare not go

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<v Speaker 1>or if by dude, my mother will say, did you

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<v Speaker 1>ever see a goose kissing a moose? Down by the

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<v Speaker 1>bait down by bab Ralfie embedded himself in the childhood

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<v Speaker 1>memories of his fans, and he showed adults that kids

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<v Speaker 1>should be taken seriously, that their voices are just as important.

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<v Speaker 1>Thousands of preschool teachers played Rafi's cassettes on repeat for

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<v Speaker 1>sing a long time. His songs about the joys and

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<v Speaker 1>wonders of growing up are universal and infectious. That's because Raffie,

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<v Speaker 1>with his playfulness and patience, was making connections with his audience.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe he even connected with you. But here's a thing,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a lot more in that music than you think.

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<v Speaker 1>For decades, Raffie has been telling us to wake up

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<v Speaker 1>to the needs of our children, to the kitten side

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<v Speaker 1>of us into the destruction of our planet. From the beginning,

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<v Speaker 1>he saw our potential. He believed in our capacity to grow. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>you wouldn't necessarily know that by listening to opals and

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<v Speaker 1>bononas or shake your sillies out. You need to talk

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<v Speaker 1>with his old friends and collaborators, the people who built

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<v Speaker 1>movements around him, and the man himself. I'm Chris Garcia

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<v Speaker 1>and this is Finding Raffie, a ten part series for

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<v Speaker 1>My Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with Rococo Punch

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<v Speaker 1>about the life, philosophy, and the work of Raffie, the

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<v Speaker 1>man behind the music. I'm a stand up comedian. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>used to late nights and dark, crowded bars with an

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<v Speaker 1>over served audience, but now this is how I spend

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<v Speaker 1>my evenings free during the pandemic my wife, Val and

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<v Speaker 1>I decided to make things even harder. We decided to

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<v Speaker 1>have a kid, or at least start trying, and before

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<v Speaker 1>we knew it, Val was standing in the bathroom holding

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<v Speaker 1>a little stick with two pink lines on it, and

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<v Speaker 1>a long came Sunny, Yeah, you're my best girl. I

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<v Speaker 1>have sweet dreams. Okay, m sweetie. There was one aspect

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<v Speaker 1>of being a dad where I felt confident music. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a music snob. I love music. My vinyl collection is

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<v Speaker 1>slowly taking over the house. It's important to me that

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<v Speaker 1>Sunny knows good music. So I began with my personal

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<v Speaker 1>favorites Creed, Limp, Biscuit More, Creed, just Kidding, stuff like

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<v Speaker 1>Brian Eno and Jazz. I tried music made for kids.

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<v Speaker 1>A friend made me a mixtape Casper Baby Pants, Blippy,

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<v Speaker 1>Elmo sings Hamilton's Let's No. I couldn't do that to

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<v Speaker 1>her or me. And just when I was feeling really desperate,

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<v Speaker 1>Bell introduced me and Sonny to Raffie about Sam Jim,

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<v Speaker 1>one for me and one for David md Jim. I

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<v Speaker 1>grew up listening to Raffie for a very long time.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I didn't remember how many songs that I

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<v Speaker 1>knew until I started listening to them with her, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, oh, I remember this one. Oh yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>this one. Oh the corner grocery store. Oh, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>beats and barley and all that stuff. And there was

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<v Speaker 1>one day where she was being super fussy and a

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<v Speaker 1>Raffi song came on the rotation and she immediately shut

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<v Speaker 1>up and started smiling. It was like the baby whisper

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<v Speaker 1>appeared out of the speaker and magically calm, sunny down.

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<v Speaker 1>There was something to this. I had no idea what

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<v Speaker 1>is it. Raffie's voice, the melody, the simplicity, whatever it was.

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<v Speaker 1>I watched my daughter and my wife become entranced. It

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<v Speaker 1>makes me think of summertime for some reason, and early

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<v Speaker 1>sure why. It just makes me think of like being

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<v Speaker 1>young and fun, carefree, listening to like sweet songs. As

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<v Speaker 1>we talk, I see val snap back in time to

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<v Speaker 1>a warm, comforting place when her parents played Raffie cassettes

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<v Speaker 1>to help her fall asleep. I wish I still had

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<v Speaker 1>my cassette of One Night, One Son, that would be

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<v Speaker 1>sweet to player. Do you think your dad is it? Honestly,

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<v Speaker 1>I would not be surprised if he still had that somewhere.

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<v Speaker 1>It would be so sweet to play vows old Raphi

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<v Speaker 1>cassettes for Sunnis, you know, so we call up her dad. Jeff,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, it's funny because we had several of them,

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<v Speaker 1>and I said that to Mom the other day. I

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<v Speaker 1>wonder what happened to those tapes and the answer is

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<v Speaker 1>I don't have a clue. But that's not the same thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought it would be come full circle that you

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<v Speaker 1>could be playing those for Sunny. You used to play

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<v Speaker 1>music before I go to sleep, right? Was that some

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<v Speaker 1>of that? It was like, Willoby Wallaby an Elephants sat

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<v Speaker 1>on you? Will it be Wallaby Woozing an elephant sat

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<v Speaker 1>on Susan graphs? The best names for those songs? Will

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<v Speaker 1>it be Wallaby Wanny an elephant sat on Bunny? Will

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<v Speaker 1>it be Wallaby, Witness an Elephants sat on Dennis. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>listening in awe. Jeff hasn't heard those songs in thirty years,

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<v Speaker 1>but just the mention of Ralphie's name makes him break

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<v Speaker 1>out into song. Jeff's six ft five professor from the Midwest.

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<v Speaker 1>His idea of a fun Friday night is watching Turner

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<v Speaker 1>classic movies. He thinks Will Ferrell is too goofy. But

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<v Speaker 1>Willoby Wallaby woo. These words come to him in an instant.

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<v Speaker 1>He doesn't miss a beat, and all this time Val

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<v Speaker 1>has carried good feelings about Ralphie's music too. There's something

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<v Speaker 1>emotional happening here, something really deep. The idea that Sonny

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<v Speaker 1>can hear an old song decades from now and tap

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<v Speaker 1>into a warm childhood memory that blows me away. And

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<v Speaker 1>it seems like a cheap code something Sunny could rely on.

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<v Speaker 1>If I couldn't be there to console her, maybe there

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<v Speaker 1>was something for me and Ralphie's music too. Here we

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<v Speaker 1>are awesome. Well, it's so nice to see you and

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<v Speaker 1>um talk to you, Raffie. Thank you so much for

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<v Speaker 1>making the time. Let me first ask you, what is

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<v Speaker 1>your daughter's name? Oh, my daughter's name is Sunny. Sunny, Yeah, beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>We named her after the song by Bobby heb We

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<v Speaker 1>named her after that song. Well, let's dedicate this whole

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<v Speaker 1>podcast series too Sunny and her bright future, because that's

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<v Speaker 1>what we all want for the children we love. Not

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<v Speaker 1>to brag, but that's me talking with Raffi. He lives

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<v Speaker 1>in Canada on Salt Spring Island, off the coast of Vancouver.

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<v Speaker 1>When I googled it, it looks like an idyllic place

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<v Speaker 1>where the forest meets the sea, a place where you'd

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<v Speaker 1>go to find serenity or hide the body Raphae seventy

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<v Speaker 1>three now, and looking at his face on my computer

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<v Speaker 1>as we talk, I realized I could see a bit

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<v Speaker 1>of me in him. And it's not just because we're

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<v Speaker 1>both fans of Hawaiian shirts or we both have beards.

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<v Speaker 1>He kind of looks like me from the future, and

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<v Speaker 1>he seems gentle and sensitive. I immediately feel at ease.

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<v Speaker 1>I wonder what's driven him to make children's music all

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<v Speaker 1>these years. Very early on, actually, I sort of steep

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<v Speaker 1>myself in an informal education of what is childhood? Who

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<v Speaker 1>are these impressionable young beings who happened to be fun

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<v Speaker 1>and spontaneous and at times more than we can handle?

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<v Speaker 1>You know, who are these beings? And what do they need?

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<v Speaker 1>And so on? You know, And I think I gained

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<v Speaker 1>a sense of my own self as a child. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>what did I feel when I was younger and so on?

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<v Speaker 1>It was not all rosie for me in my childhood.

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<v Speaker 1>Mocked and humiliated at times, and I was hit and

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<v Speaker 1>I couldn't square that with the fact that I knew

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<v Speaker 1>I was loved, So why didn't I feel respected for

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<v Speaker 1>who I felt I was? Respect This is a word

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<v Speaker 1>that kept coming up over and over again in my

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<v Speaker 1>conversations with Raffie. It's a word he studied, dissected, even

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<v Speaker 1>meditated on. It's not enough to say we need love.

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<v Speaker 1>As the Beatles song said, all you need is love,

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<v Speaker 1>which is true? What kind of love do we need?

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<v Speaker 1>And the word respectful came up. This connection between love

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<v Speaker 1>and respect is something Raffie's devoted his lifetime exploring. Ralphie's father, Arto,

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<v Speaker 1>was an enormous presence in his life. Arto was a

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<v Speaker 1>well known portrait photographer and he was a perfectionist. He

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<v Speaker 1>had him possibly high standards for his work and his son.

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<v Speaker 1>Ralphie says that his parents saw him as an extension

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<v Speaker 1>of themselves. They didn't see him as his own person,

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<v Speaker 1>and that was painful and confusing. It turns out that

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<v Speaker 1>Raffie and I have a lot more in common than

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<v Speaker 1>just our looks. Rafi grew up in Egypt, but his

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<v Speaker 1>family moved to Canada when Rafi was ten years old.

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<v Speaker 1>This wasn't the first time the Cabukians fled their home

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<v Speaker 1>in search of a new one. They'd already survived the

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<v Speaker 1>Armenian genocide in Turkey. My parents escaped an oppressive regime

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<v Speaker 1>in Cuba, eventually settling here in Los Angeles in search

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<v Speaker 1>of a better life. When you grow up like Raffie

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<v Speaker 1>and I did, with one foot in the New world

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<v Speaker 1>and one in the old, it can feel lonely. I

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<v Speaker 1>must say, I relate to you as um. A thing

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<v Speaker 1>that I believe we have in common is that our

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<v Speaker 1>parents are exiles and immigrants from you know, a different country,

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<v Speaker 1>and you raised in Canada. I was born in the

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<v Speaker 1>United States, and that was a sensitive child. And although

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<v Speaker 1>I did feel loved, I was confused a lot by

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<v Speaker 1>the way with which I was loved, because my parents

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<v Speaker 1>had a certain expectation of what a young man was

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to be, or what is interests are supposed to be.

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<v Speaker 1>My father's a tough, masculine machinist, where I use the

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<v Speaker 1>word journal as a verb. You know, I was very emotional,

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<v Speaker 1>and I don't think they could understand how a boy

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<v Speaker 1>born in Los Angeles in freedom could cry if he

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<v Speaker 1>was moved by a movie or something like that. So

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of the times I felt misunderstood or like

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<v Speaker 1>I couldn't even express these emotions. Did they not ask

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<v Speaker 1>you what you wanted to be when you grew up? Um? No,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think they really did. I think they were

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<v Speaker 1>just like. May I say about respect, Chris, I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's the word that is going to be in this

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<v Speaker 1>Finding Ravy series of podcasts. It's going to be the

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<v Speaker 1>word because, if you think about it, every human being

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<v Speaker 1>wants to feel respected without exception. I don't think you

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<v Speaker 1>could ask that question of anyone, Um, would you like

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<v Speaker 1>to be respected? I don't think anyone would say no.

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<v Speaker 1>Or maybe I think people would say, yeah, I'd like

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<v Speaker 1>to feel respected for who I feel I am. Respect

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<v Speaker 1>can mean so many things. For me. It's tied to authority,

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<v Speaker 1>kids respect adults. I hadn't thought about it as a

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<v Speaker 1>two way street. And trust me, I thought about my

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<v Speaker 1>childhood a lot as a stand up comedian. My parents

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<v Speaker 1>are the meat of most of my jokes. As a kid,

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<v Speaker 1>I knew my parents loved me, but respect me. My

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<v Speaker 1>mom's dope. She's adorable. She's tiny. She's four eight. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>she's so small. She looks far away. She should have

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<v Speaker 1>a little sign on it that says Cubans in the mirror,

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<v Speaker 1>maybe closer than they appear. She's a lovely lady. She's

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<v Speaker 1>very critical. We're hanging out recently. She's like, I don't

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<v Speaker 1>like how you dress. You don't, I don't know. I

0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:49.360
<v Speaker 1>don't like it. Too many buttons? Why the top button?

0:16:49.400 --> 0:16:54.600
<v Speaker 1>What are you hiding? You look like you look like

0:16:54.640 --> 0:17:00.200
<v Speaker 1>a You look like a teacher that nobody respects. You

0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:02.440
<v Speaker 1>look like I'm agician with no tricks. It's very sad.

0:17:04.440 --> 0:17:07.160
<v Speaker 1>That's cold blooded. Mom. She's like, you need to dress

0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:11.240
<v Speaker 1>like a man, like a Cuban man. I'm like, what's

0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:14.520
<v Speaker 1>a Cuban man supposed to dress like? She goes like

0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:23.880
<v Speaker 1>pit bull. I love piple, I respect people, but I'm

0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:26.680
<v Speaker 1>not gonna dress like a tuxedo mannequin that won the lottery,

0:17:26.720 --> 0:17:30.800
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. My mom Anna is the

0:17:30.880 --> 0:17:33.760
<v Speaker 1>real comedian in the family, and she doesn't hold back

0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:41.560
<v Speaker 1>like a Cuban female. Don Rickles, like, don't you Rickles.

0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:51.359
<v Speaker 1>She came up with ima that when she comes to visit,

0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:54.760
<v Speaker 1>she always brings a gift. She thinks she could buy

0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.959
<v Speaker 1>the love and affection of the baby to the baby.

0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:06.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh we need that, I think, Yeah, a perfect growing up.

0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:09.800
<v Speaker 1>My parents didn't play kids music for me. They played

0:18:09.880 --> 0:18:13.200
<v Speaker 1>music they liked. We're Talking, Sonny and Share the Beatles

0:18:13.440 --> 0:18:17.320
<v Speaker 1>the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack in case you're wondering. My

0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:20.680
<v Speaker 1>mom has no idea who Raffie is, so I play

0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:24.680
<v Speaker 1>her one of his biggest hits, Banana Phone. I've got

0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:39.399
<v Speaker 1>this fevering for us to get together. You like you

0:18:42.280 --> 0:18:45.000
<v Speaker 1>say about whatever Anthony? She was hoping that I would

0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.520
<v Speaker 1>play this Mark Anthony song that she loves so much.

0:18:48.440 --> 0:18:52.119
<v Speaker 1>Ever since my conversation with Raffie, I've been thinking about

0:18:52.160 --> 0:18:55.760
<v Speaker 1>the idea of respect and how that factored into my upbringing.

0:18:56.119 --> 0:18:58.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean, even the thought of asking my mom if

0:18:58.400 --> 0:19:02.880
<v Speaker 1>she respected me. It feels awkward. What the heck I ask? Anyway,

0:19:04.080 --> 0:19:13.560
<v Speaker 1>a significant significant if they don't need you know. It

0:19:13.600 --> 0:19:17.520
<v Speaker 1>turns out my mom has this whole philosophy about respecting children.

0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:22.000
<v Speaker 1>She says, to respect a child is to recognize their innocence,

0:19:22.560 --> 0:19:27.399
<v Speaker 1>to embrace them where they are. I'm realizing that respect

0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:30.399
<v Speaker 1>has always been at the heart of how she raised me.

0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:34.040
<v Speaker 1>She's always seen me for me, an individual with my

0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:41.440
<v Speaker 1>own thoughts and emotions. Oh no, didn't get it. Okay, okay,

0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:48.080
<v Speaker 1>whoa mom. Wow, my name is Anna Garcia and I'm

0:19:48.160 --> 0:19:56.600
<v Speaker 1>running for president. Ok is waste that maduena public level?

0:20:00.920 --> 0:20:05.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm overwhelmed listening to my mom. She says, of course

0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:09.479
<v Speaker 1>she respected me because she wanted me. She chose to

0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:12.520
<v Speaker 1>bring me into this world. I always joked that I

0:20:12.560 --> 0:20:15.040
<v Speaker 1>was an accident because I popped out twelve years after

0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:18.159
<v Speaker 1>my sister Laura. She was born in Cuba during a

0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:22.280
<v Speaker 1>particularly bleak moment in Cuban history. My parents probably didn't

0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:25.440
<v Speaker 1>want to bring another kid into that chaos, so they

0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:27.840
<v Speaker 1>had me once they could keep me safe here in

0:20:27.840 --> 0:20:31.440
<v Speaker 1>the United States. It was part of their plan. They

0:20:31.480 --> 0:20:38.120
<v Speaker 1>wanted more for me. This is not at all how

0:20:38.160 --> 0:20:40.760
<v Speaker 1>my parents grew up. For a while as a kid,

0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:43.760
<v Speaker 1>my dad was homeless, living on the street. My mom

0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:45.800
<v Speaker 1>dropped out of school in the sixth grade because their

0:20:45.800 --> 0:20:49.359
<v Speaker 1>family couldn't afford books. Neither my mom nor my dad

0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:55.040
<v Speaker 1>knew their fathers, and my mom's mom, Maola Caruca, was tough.

0:20:55.640 --> 0:20:58.719
<v Speaker 1>She wasn't the nurturing type, more of a get your

0:20:58.720 --> 0:21:00.800
<v Speaker 1>shoes on and hustle those sig rats on the corner

0:21:00.840 --> 0:21:04.040
<v Speaker 1>so we can buy dinner kind of mom. She was

0:21:04.080 --> 0:21:06.720
<v Speaker 1>single and funneled all of her energy and just surviving,

0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:13.959
<v Speaker 1>so I don't think my mom had much of a childhood.

0:21:15.560 --> 0:21:21.879
<v Speaker 1>You're going to different, no mamas Amiga. She's saying that

0:21:21.920 --> 0:21:25.480
<v Speaker 1>her mom is really strictum and she told herself that

0:21:25.560 --> 0:21:28.600
<v Speaker 1>she wasn't going to be like that with us, which

0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:33.520
<v Speaker 1>is true. It's interesting to think about how parenting skills

0:21:33.600 --> 0:21:39.960
<v Speaker 1>and world views and traumas trickled down from that, and

0:21:40.040 --> 0:21:44.840
<v Speaker 1>the amazing that she's so it doesn't seem to carry

0:21:44.840 --> 0:21:47.960
<v Speaker 1>any of it, you know. It's just kind of blows

0:21:48.040 --> 0:21:51.720
<v Speaker 1>me away. I get emotional about it. It's really little

0:21:51.760 --> 0:22:02.800
<v Speaker 1>special person. My mom's on her own now. My dad

0:22:02.880 --> 0:22:07.080
<v Speaker 1>died four years ago from Alzheimer's, and sitting here talking

0:22:07.119 --> 0:22:09.560
<v Speaker 1>to her, knowing all that she and my dad had

0:22:09.600 --> 0:22:12.720
<v Speaker 1>been through, I'm realizing that they had to invent what

0:22:12.840 --> 0:22:22.119
<v Speaker 1>it meant to be parents. And what really amazes me

0:22:22.160 --> 0:22:26.520
<v Speaker 1>about my mom is she always finds humor, especially in

0:22:26.560 --> 0:22:31.159
<v Speaker 1>the toughest times, like when we cremated my dad, she

0:22:31.320 --> 0:22:35.600
<v Speaker 1>asked the funeral director for a senior discount just so

0:22:35.680 --> 0:22:45.000
<v Speaker 1>I would laugh. I'm not sure how she ended up

0:22:45.040 --> 0:22:48.520
<v Speaker 1>this way, but I am, hands down a reflection of

0:22:48.560 --> 0:22:51.840
<v Speaker 1>where I come from. I mean, you heard my stand up.

0:22:53.160 --> 0:23:29.800
<v Speaker 1>Maybe Raphae's music reflects who he is too. M my

0:23:29.880 --> 0:23:37.480
<v Speaker 1>mom says, but it's hard for me just I think

0:23:37.560 --> 0:23:41.399
<v Speaker 1>this is my favorite Raffi song. I wonder if I'm growing.

0:23:42.040 --> 0:23:45.320
<v Speaker 1>It taps into a feeling from my childhood. My parents

0:23:45.440 --> 0:23:47.679
<v Speaker 1>left for work early in the morning, so they dropped

0:23:47.680 --> 0:23:50.600
<v Speaker 1>me off at my friend Leo Vlone's house long before school.

0:23:51.440 --> 0:23:54.440
<v Speaker 1>The house was pitch dark and quiet, and I'd awkwardly

0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:57.040
<v Speaker 1>hang out with Leo's mom in the kitchen until everyone

0:23:57.080 --> 0:24:00.239
<v Speaker 1>woke up. I knew my parents were doing it so

0:24:00.280 --> 0:24:02.480
<v Speaker 1>I could have a shot at a good education, but

0:24:02.560 --> 0:24:12.760
<v Speaker 1>it made me feel insecure, like I didn't belong. There's

0:24:12.800 --> 0:24:16.040
<v Speaker 1>something about listening to this song. There's a vulnerability in

0:24:16.160 --> 0:24:19.960
<v Speaker 1>Raphe's voice. It takes me right back to Leo Valone's kitchen,

0:24:20.640 --> 0:24:24.080
<v Speaker 1>sitting there so unsure of myself, and by the end

0:24:24.080 --> 0:24:27.639
<v Speaker 1>of the song, rapew reassures us that everything is going

0:24:27.680 --> 0:24:30.320
<v Speaker 1>to be okay. It doesn't sound like a kid's song

0:24:30.400 --> 0:24:43.480
<v Speaker 1>to me. Speaks to me now, and I think growing growing,

0:24:51.080 --> 0:24:55.000
<v Speaker 1>and it's true, we're all still growing. I mean hopefully

0:24:55.040 --> 0:24:58.440
<v Speaker 1>we are, and part of growing is making sense of

0:24:58.440 --> 0:25:02.360
<v Speaker 1>where we've come from. Would you say that you're singing

0:25:02.400 --> 0:25:05.720
<v Speaker 1>to yourself and is this a response to your own childhood?

0:25:06.680 --> 0:25:11.200
<v Speaker 1>That's a start a question. Clearly, our past informs are present,

0:25:11.280 --> 0:25:16.080
<v Speaker 1>and you know, I think there's a measure of Catharsis

0:25:16.119 --> 0:25:21.000
<v Speaker 1>in my career that has benefited my whole being, and

0:25:21.080 --> 0:25:26.000
<v Speaker 1>certainly in recognizing that I didn't feel respected and love

0:25:26.080 --> 0:25:28.000
<v Speaker 1>for who I felt I was. You know, it was

0:25:28.040 --> 0:25:31.919
<v Speaker 1>a possessive love. But my parents dolled out, if you

0:25:31.960 --> 0:25:34.639
<v Speaker 1>will again, They loved me greatly and I love them

0:25:34.680 --> 0:25:36.920
<v Speaker 1>for that, but I certainly had to come to terms

0:25:36.960 --> 0:25:41.240
<v Speaker 1>with the difficulty of being their child, you know. And

0:25:41.440 --> 0:25:45.560
<v Speaker 1>but every one of us actually is charged with making

0:25:45.600 --> 0:25:49.199
<v Speaker 1>meaning of our life in our adulthood, and you're in

0:25:49.240 --> 0:25:54.200
<v Speaker 1>that process yourself. You're you're actually in your comedic shows,

0:25:54.240 --> 0:25:57.080
<v Speaker 1>as you say, you know, you're you're working through those

0:25:57.119 --> 0:26:00.800
<v Speaker 1>emotions through humor, which is very interesting. Actually you're kind

0:26:00.800 --> 0:26:06.480
<v Speaker 1>of doing your therapy and public as a stand up comedian. Yeah,

0:26:06.520 --> 0:26:09.439
<v Speaker 1>that's literally all I do, and a lot of what

0:26:09.480 --> 0:26:12.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm working out deals with my sensitivity. To me. There's

0:26:12.600 --> 0:26:15.120
<v Speaker 1>no such thing as a sensitive child. We're all sensitive

0:26:15.160 --> 0:26:19.560
<v Speaker 1>because we have needs. And it's interesting to consider that

0:26:20.080 --> 0:26:24.679
<v Speaker 1>the human infant of every culture is the same human

0:26:24.720 --> 0:26:30.000
<v Speaker 1>being physiologically. Every child in the world at that early

0:26:30.200 --> 0:26:36.680
<v Speaker 1>stage has exactly the same needs. The universal, irreducible needs

0:26:36.720 --> 0:26:41.520
<v Speaker 1>of early childhood are the best place to see how

0:26:41.560 --> 0:26:46.440
<v Speaker 1>connected are human species is the fact that we can

0:26:46.520 --> 0:26:52.119
<v Speaker 1>see the interconnectedness of human experience most vividly in early

0:26:52.200 --> 0:26:55.120
<v Speaker 1>years should make us jump from the rooftops and well

0:26:55.160 --> 0:26:59.920
<v Speaker 1>at these shout from the rooftops. This is exciting. Here

0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:02.760
<v Speaker 1>we are. Here's where we are one. We are one

0:27:02.800 --> 0:27:06.200
<v Speaker 1>in the human infant. This is where we can see

0:27:06.200 --> 0:27:11.359
<v Speaker 1>our our oneness. Isn't that joyful? Isn't that something to celebrate?

0:27:11.400 --> 0:27:14.959
<v Speaker 1>I believe it is. I could see it in Sunny herself.

0:27:15.000 --> 0:27:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Every morning I take her on a walk, and I'm

0:27:18.280 --> 0:27:22.640
<v Speaker 1>observing the world through her eyes, so curious and so

0:27:22.920 --> 0:27:27.000
<v Speaker 1>joyful and so spirited. My job is to hopefully guide

0:27:27.000 --> 0:27:29.800
<v Speaker 1>her to maintain this for all of her years. But

0:27:29.880 --> 0:27:32.840
<v Speaker 1>I wish I could bottle it and share it with

0:27:32.880 --> 0:27:36.879
<v Speaker 1>adults and kids alike. What she's giving you is a

0:27:37.840 --> 0:27:41.840
<v Speaker 1>vibration of frequency of a light that you can't help

0:27:41.880 --> 0:27:55.040
<v Speaker 1>but shine because you see it's worth and you feel yeah, excited.

0:27:56.520 --> 0:28:02.200
<v Speaker 1>See those little birds I'm singing for still, I'm a

0:28:02.200 --> 0:28:08.080
<v Speaker 1>little concert for you. My daily walks with Sonny ground

0:28:08.160 --> 0:28:10.560
<v Speaker 1>me and remind me that there's still a lot of

0:28:10.560 --> 0:28:14.439
<v Speaker 1>wonder out there. Like Ralphie said, our curiosities don't have

0:28:14.480 --> 0:28:17.440
<v Speaker 1>to wither and die when we reach adulthood. So I'm

0:28:17.440 --> 0:28:20.439
<v Speaker 1>trying to notice how I'm growing with these new experiences,

0:28:20.880 --> 0:28:28.280
<v Speaker 1>with Sonny's new experiences. It's a dog. Yeah, I'm telling

0:28:36.800 --> 0:28:39.280
<v Speaker 1>it's so humbling to bring a child into the world,

0:28:40.040 --> 0:28:43.280
<v Speaker 1>and at this tenuous point in history. She was born

0:28:43.280 --> 0:28:45.280
<v Speaker 1>in the thick of the pandemic, and she doesn't know

0:28:45.320 --> 0:28:48.520
<v Speaker 1>what's going on at all. She doesn't know that we

0:28:48.560 --> 0:28:51.240
<v Speaker 1>had an insurrection or that the oceans are on fire.

0:28:51.840 --> 0:28:55.040
<v Speaker 1>And I get to be her point of contact her father.

0:28:56.120 --> 0:28:58.600
<v Speaker 1>I mean, as my mom said about me, Sonny didn't

0:28:58.640 --> 0:29:02.000
<v Speaker 1>ask to be here. It's my job to help her

0:29:02.040 --> 0:29:06.480
<v Speaker 1>become a confident person capable of accepting love and giving love.

0:29:07.320 --> 0:29:10.600
<v Speaker 1>At least that's what I want for her. No pressure

0:29:10.680 --> 0:29:38.760
<v Speaker 1>right next time on finding Raffie. If you were to

0:29:38.840 --> 0:29:44.640
<v Speaker 1>meet Raffie, you wouldn't say, Oh, my god, grandson of

0:29:44.840 --> 0:29:50.560
<v Speaker 1>survivors of a cataclysmic genocide who is scarred for life.

0:29:51.120 --> 0:29:55.120
<v Speaker 1>Rafi's music is like the happiest music on the planet.

0:29:57.040 --> 0:30:01.200
<v Speaker 1>There were stories of survival of my family, survival from

0:30:01.240 --> 0:30:06.960
<v Speaker 1>the massacres of the Ottoman Empire, stories of how arts

0:30:06.960 --> 0:30:14.480
<v Speaker 1>saved the day. Finding Raffie is a production in My

0:30:14.640 --> 0:30:18.920
<v Speaker 1>Heart Radio and Fatherly in partnership with Rococo Punch. It's

0:30:18.960 --> 0:30:23.760
<v Speaker 1>produced by Catherine Fennalosa, Meredith Hannig, and James Trout. Production

0:30:23.760 --> 0:30:27.600
<v Speaker 1>assistance from Charlotte Livingston. Alex French is our story consultant.

0:30:27.920 --> 0:30:32.240
<v Speaker 1>Our senior producer is Andrea Swahee. Emily Foreman is our editor.

0:30:32.800 --> 0:30:37.920
<v Speaker 1>Fact checking by Andrea Lopez Cruzado. Raphae's music is courtesy

0:30:37.960 --> 0:30:41.720
<v Speaker 1>of Troubadour Records. Special thanks to Kim Layton at Troubadour.

0:30:42.760 --> 0:30:46.080
<v Speaker 1>Our executive producers are Jessica Albert and John Parotti at

0:30:46.160 --> 0:30:50.400
<v Speaker 1>Rococo Punch, Ty Trimble, Mike Rothman and Jeff Eisenman at Fatherly,

0:30:50.760 --> 0:30:56.120
<v Speaker 1>and me Chris Garcia. Thank you for listening, and then

0:30:56.160 --> 0:31:00.240
<v Speaker 1>I would end the song with Willoughby Wallaby Waffy, an

0:31:00.320 --> 0:31:05.720
<v Speaker 1>Elephants sat on Raffie and I go whoa slide in

0:31:05.800 --> 0:31:09.520
<v Speaker 1>my chair and gets squished and they loved it, and

0:31:09.640 --> 0:31:10.840
<v Speaker 1>I was smiling too,