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Speaker 1: This is John, this is Sam, your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some spectacular stories coming up, but

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Speaker 1: real quick we get a two minute break from our

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Speaker 1: lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

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Speaker 2: My best friend is furious I got pregnant during her

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Speaker 2: wedding year because I'm stealing her shine. Trigger warnings missage, Okay,

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Speaker 2: so let this be no uh, there's a trigger warning here.

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Speaker 2: Please if you don't want to listen to that, click off.

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Speaker 2: Best friend thirty one female and I thirty one female,

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Speaker 2: have been best friends for over twelve years, since we

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Speaker 2: were nineteen and roommates in college. She lives thirteen hundred

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Speaker 2: miles away from me, so most of our friendship has

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Speaker 2: been long distance, minus the year that we live together

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Speaker 2: in college.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Personality No.

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Speaker 2: Twenty five thirty six, And if you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, just go to the r slash Okay

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Speaker 2: Storytime subbreddits. Come on, put all that that venting into

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Speaker 2: the sub vent So my best friend has been there

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Speaker 2: for me through some incredible difficult times, and I've been

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Speaker 2: there for her as well. She helped me when I

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Speaker 2: was twenty to get out of an abusive home and

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Speaker 2: a few years ago when I was so severely depressed

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Speaker 2: that I had to go to an inpatient treatment. In turn,

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Speaker 2: I supported her through every breakup both with friends and partners,

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Speaker 2: her dad nearly passing away of COVID, the loss of

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Speaker 2: her pets, and more. Wow, so you've been there, You

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Speaker 2: have been there through it all. To say that we

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Speaker 2: have been there for each other through everything would be

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Speaker 2: an understatement, at least in my eyes. That being said,

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Speaker 2: we are not the same nineteen year old kids we

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Speaker 2: were when we first met. She has done some things

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Speaker 2: that upset me, but I've moved on from them. For example,

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Speaker 2: when I was turning thirty, I planned a trip to

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Speaker 2: Disney World to celebrate. Disney is particularly special for both

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Speaker 2: of us with my family. Her birthday is exactly seven

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Speaker 2: days before mine, and technically I was flying into Disney

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Speaker 2: World on her birthday, but not going into the park.

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Speaker 2: We had no plans at all to see each other

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Speaker 2: on each other's birthdays. When I told her months prior

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Speaker 2: that I was going to Disney for my thirtieth, she

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Speaker 2: cried and ghosted me for a couple of days, having

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Speaker 2: a meltdown because she couldn't handle me going to Disney

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Speaker 2: on her birthday. While she didn't have the ability to go,

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Speaker 2: come on, come on, oh man, my goodness. To fix this,

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Speaker 2: she and her now fiance then partner decided to max

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Speaker 2: out a credit card and go themselves.

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Speaker 3: Hey.

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Speaker 2: Hey, they went about six months before my trip, and

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Speaker 2: that's when they got engaged.

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Speaker 3: At the time, I was super confused and upset.

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Speaker 2: I didn't understand why I couldn't just go to Disney

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Speaker 2: without her freaking out about it. But she went before me,

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Speaker 2: and I didn't care. If that's what she needed to

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Speaker 2: do to process, then whatever. Yeah, I left it alone

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Speaker 2: and we went back to normal. Another situation happened about

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Speaker 2: a year ago when I lost my job. Truthfully, I

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Speaker 2: had life ending thoughts and negative and trauma dumped on

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Speaker 2: her too much, which strained our friendship. Rightfully, so after

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Speaker 2: apologizing and doing therapy work, we got back to normal.

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Speaker 2: I'm not perfect, but I've always tried to be thoughtful

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Speaker 2: and accountable when I've messed up. Thankfully, I've been in

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Speaker 2: a far healthier place mentally for over a year now

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Speaker 2: and this hasn't been an issue again. Now to the

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Speaker 2: situation at hand, I've been married to my husband for

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Speaker 2: nearly seven years.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 3: She who was my maid of honor.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: I have always wanted children, and she has always known this. She,

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Speaker 2: on the other hand, has never wanted children, and that's okay.

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Speaker 2: My husband and I started trying for a baby about

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Speaker 2: a year or two ago, but when I lost my job,

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Speaker 2: we put it on hold. Once I got a new

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Speaker 2: job and we were financially stable again, we decided to

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Speaker 2: go off birth control and start trying in October twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty four.

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Speaker 3: She knew this.

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Speaker 2: I also live in a state where pregnancy termination is

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Speaker 2: completely illegal, and she does not. My husband and I

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Speaker 2: have always wanted two kids, though we'd be okay if

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Speaker 2: one pregnancy.

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Speaker 3: Was too difficult for me.

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Speaker 2: Of course, I know women have children past thirty five,

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Speaker 2: but the risks increase being in a state where I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't have access to a medically necessary pregnancy termining. We

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Speaker 2: didn't want to try for children past thirty five if

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Speaker 2: we could help it, so we decided to start now

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Speaker 2: since I'm already thirty one. Meanwhile, my best friend has

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Speaker 2: been engaged for almost two years. By the time they

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Speaker 2: get married this year, it will have been two point

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Speaker 2: five years. I am and was her maid of honor,

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Speaker 2: just as she was for mine. On January second, I

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Speaker 2: found out I was pregnant, and my husband and I

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Speaker 2: were so happy.

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Speaker 3: Congratulations boom.

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Speaker 2: I told my sister first, and then I told my

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Speaker 2: best friend because I figured that if the worst happened,

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Speaker 2: she and my sister would be the ones there for me.

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Speaker 2: When she answered the phone, the first thing that she

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Speaker 2: said was so, when are you do and immediately started

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Speaker 2: talking about her wedding, asking if I'd still be pregnant

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Speaker 2: by then. My due date was about six weeks before

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Speaker 2: her wedding. I could tell instantly that she was upset

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Speaker 2: that I was pregnant. I have a lot of trauma

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Speaker 2: in my life, and I tend to cope by people pleasing.

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Speaker 2: I could tell she was upset, so I started placating her,

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Speaker 2: saying I knew that the timing wasn't deal and that

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Speaker 2: I didn't want a baby in September either because there

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Speaker 2: were already so many birthdays in my family that month,

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Speaker 2: and basically tried to convince her that it would be okay.

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Speaker 2: I even asked her if she was mad at me,

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Speaker 2: because I knew she was. After that phone call, she

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Speaker 2: ghosted me for four days, barely replying to my texts,

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Speaker 2: only giving short responses. Finally, after four days, she told

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Speaker 2: me to call her so that we could talk. That

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Speaker 2: call lasted about an hour and a half, where I

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Speaker 2: basically coddled her and reassured her that I did not

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Speaker 2: plan to miss her wedding and that this didn't change anything.

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Speaker 2: The only difference would be that I'd have to wear

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Speaker 2: postpartum diapers under my dress. We aren't drinkers, so her

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Speaker 2: bachelorette party was never going to be some wild Vegas rager.

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Speaker 2: I didn't see how my pregnancy and then having a

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Speaker 2: newborn by her wedding would impact anything. My husband and

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Speaker 2: I have a strong family support system, so we knew

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Speaker 2: we could have family watch the baby, or even fly

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Speaker 2: up there with the babies so I could be there

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Speaker 2: for my best friend on her big day. I had

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Speaker 2: to practically beg her to understand that I wasn't abandoning her,

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Speaker 2: and even apologized for adding a wrench into her wedding plan.

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Speaker 2: That's ridiculous, That's not ridiculous.

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Speaker 3: It's not a wrench. You are living. Your life does

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Speaker 3: not stop because she's getting married the next day, on

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Speaker 3: the literal anniversary of our friendship.

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Speaker 2: She texted me saying that she wanted another follow up call.

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Speaker 2: Apparently she was okay now, but her fiance just couldn't

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Speaker 2: handle this, and she wanted me to talk him down

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Speaker 2: the way I had with her.

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Speaker 3: What Oh, he can't handle it? What's wrong with these people?

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to do this.

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Speaker 2: Her whole reaction had already been difficult and stressful, and

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to spend another hour and a half

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Speaker 2: coddling her fiance. While I'm friends with him, he's not

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Speaker 2: my best friend. So I basically said, I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: what I can say to him that I haven't already

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Speaker 2: said to you. She then told me that she didn't

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Speaker 2: feel like my husband and I considered her wedding being

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Speaker 2: in ten months when we decided to go for it,

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Speaker 2: and that I wasn't being realistic with her about being

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Speaker 2: able to be at her wedding.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sorry. Who would consider your wedding that's ten

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Speaker 3: months away? Again, the world doesn't revolve around you, not

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Speaker 3: at all. So crazy.

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Speaker 2: She said that twenty twenty five is a big year

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Speaker 2: and that people automatically think that a pregnancy is more

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Speaker 2: important than a wedding, and she didn't want people to

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Speaker 2: only focus on me and not her. Basically, twenty twenty

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Speaker 2: five is supposed to be her year, and now that

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Speaker 2: I'm pregnant, that makes this year.

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Speaker 3: Not all about her and somehow puts her wedding in jeopardy.

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Speaker 2: Girl, I truly do not understand this, as we don't

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Speaker 2: share friend and family groups, and I would never expect

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Speaker 2: her to pause her life the year I have a

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Speaker 2: major life event, So it really upset me that she

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Speaker 2: basically expected me to put my life on pause for

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Speaker 2: a year so only she and her fiance could have

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty five.

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Speaker 3: I was like, what is it what I was supposed

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Speaker 3: to do? Yeah, put the baby back. Yeah. She's like, oh, sorry,

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Speaker 3: I'll pause really quick. Sorry, Yeah, thank you. Sorry.

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Speaker 2: I told her this is my reply, that her reaction

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Speaker 2: had made me regret telling her about the pregnancy and

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Speaker 2: honestly getting pregnant in the first place. I also told

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Speaker 2: her that I live in a state where it's dangerous

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Speaker 2: to be a woman, and it's not fair to expect

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Speaker 2: me to put my life on pause for her wedding.

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Speaker 2: I explained that best friends share life events all the time.

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Speaker 3: Especially in their thirties.

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Speaker 2: They get married, have kids, change jobs, move, get divorced,

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Speaker 2: et cetera, all at the same time, and it doesn't

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Speaker 2: negate or take away from each other.

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Speaker 3: It's okay to celebrate each other this year, it lovely

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Speaker 3: would have been for her to be supportive and be like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, I'm gonna be like, get a tea.

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Speaker 2: Basically, yeah, doesn't take away each other's shine. She told

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Speaker 2: me that she needed to process this and couldn't respond yet.

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Speaker 2: I said that that's okay, give it some time and

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Speaker 2: I'll be there. Two days later, I'm oh, my gosh,

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Speaker 2: wh this was one of the worst effing experiences of

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Speaker 2: my life, and I'm still not over it. I cry

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Speaker 2: thinking about the baby I lost and the fear that

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Speaker 2: I'll never have a baby or a family in the future.

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Speaker 2: Even two weeks later. It's a wound I'm sure I'll

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Speaker 2: always carry around. I texted her at four am when

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Speaker 2: I was mas telling her I was pretty sure that

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Speaker 2: was what was happening, but that I didn't want to

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Speaker 2: talk about it.

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Speaker 3: Really.

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to talk about it with her after

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Speaker 2: her response to the news in the first place. I

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Speaker 2: didn't trust talking to her about it or what she

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Speaker 2: would say yeah. She would probably just be like she'd.

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Speaker 3: Be like, oh, sorry, and I ring in this up.

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Speaker 3: You're making more drama. Well wow, Or she'd just be like,

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Speaker 3: oh no, I'm so sorry.

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Speaker 2: But then she'd be like okay, well at least yeah,

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Speaker 2: like psycho behavior, Yeah, no, that's it would be insane.

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Speaker 2: I probably shouldn't have even said anything, to be honest,

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Speaker 2: but I was bleeding heavily in the bathroom in the

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Speaker 2: middle of the night, and I texted my best friend

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Speaker 2: to let her know. She didn't text me back until

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Speaker 2: two thirty pm the day, and send what felt like

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Speaker 2: a pretty generic message, basically saying I didn't know what

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Speaker 2: to say. If you think this is happening, then I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: I didn't respect. If your best friend says, hey, I

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Speaker 3: just had a miscarriage, call them, yeah, I would be

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Speaker 3: over out there. I would say, oh my god, are

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Speaker 3: you okay, I'm on my way. Yeah. We don't have

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Speaker 3: to talk about it. I'll just be there, just be there. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And if you don't live close, then i'll call. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But a text, come on, oh my gosh, and this

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Speaker 2: short of a text too.

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Speaker 3: I didn't respond. I didn't respond to most people that day.

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Speaker 2: I was actively bleeding, crying and scared for myself, my baby,

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Speaker 2: and my health. She never checked in again, ridiculous. She

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Speaker 2: didn't send me a text later to see if I

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Speaker 2: was okay, how I was doing, if it was confirmed,

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Speaker 2: if my husband, who was also her friend, was okay. Nothing,

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Speaker 2: just the one generic. If that's what's happening, then I'm sorry,

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Speaker 2: and that was it. Three days later, I went to

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Speaker 2: the obie who did an ultrasound and confirmed that I

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Speaker 2: had lost the baby. Shared on my socials that I

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Speaker 2: went through a miscarriage.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow.

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Speaker 2: I've always for ten years shared on my social media

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Speaker 2: when I'm not okay. When I went through treatment, I shared,

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Speaker 2: I've always shared. It wasn't for her and wasn't about her.

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Speaker 2: It was about me being honest about what happened and

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Speaker 2: showing that it's not something to be ashamed of. She

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Speaker 2: saw my post. You can see who's viewed your stories.

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Speaker 2: But again, no texts, no calls, nothing to check in

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Speaker 2: on me. Now to today, it's been over two weeks

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Speaker 2: and hasn't said a word to me at all. We

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Speaker 2: went from talking literally every single day for twelve years

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Speaker 2: to her ghosting me completely for two weeks while I

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Speaker 2: was actively going through the worst thing in my life today.

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Speaker 2: I sent a text to basically saying, Hey, I don't

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Speaker 2: know what's going on, but you're not saying anything for

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Speaker 2: two weeks has been upsetting me. I gave you time

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Speaker 2: to figure out a response, and I'm confused why it's

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Speaker 2: taken this long.

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Speaker 3: But I'll be here when you're ready.

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Speaker 2: By the way, we will always be here when you

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Speaker 2: are ready to listen to full episodes more stories just

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Speaker 2: like this one.

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Speaker 3: Just go to our slash Okay story time subbredit we'd

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Speaker 3: be there for you. It's true.

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Speaker 2: Then I got these texts, so yes I did. This

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Speaker 2: is from from the friend, by the way, so yes,

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Speaker 2: I did. Need time to process the last thing you

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Speaker 2: said to me. You said you felt like you were

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Speaker 2: made to feel regret about being pregnant and regretted ever

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Speaker 2: telling me. But you didn't express any of this until

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Speaker 2: the day I said Blank wanted to talk about all

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Speaker 2: of it with you directly because it does affect him too.

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Speaker 2: It's his wedding year two. This is like you don't

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Speaker 2: get a whole wedding.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. This is like when girls say like birthday month,

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Speaker 3: birthday month. Yeah. The other people were born then, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: this is crazy.

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Speaker 2: These are really long text by the way, these are

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Speaker 2: like paragraphs paragraphs.

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Speaker 3: There's like three giant paragraphs screen full of texts like

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Speaker 3: berating ope after a miscarriage. Again, Yeah, that's insane.

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Speaker 2: No, that's that's wild, wild behavior, to be sure. Yeah, Lissy,

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Speaker 2: she continues, So you were fine until being confronted with reality.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, but I would throw up all over

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Speaker 2: this front.

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Speaker 3: She's getting worse.

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Speaker 2: The person who is supposed to be my best friend

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Speaker 2: just instead chose to blame me and my partner for

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Speaker 2: her own feelings about her own pregnancy. That's absolutely not

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Speaker 2: my responsibility to manage. Well, it's not my responsibility to

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Speaker 2: manage your fringing winning.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Absolutely, that goes both ways, girly.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, you said something like it's not on me to

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Speaker 2: make him okay with this, and in the same breath

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Speaker 2: you said you were made to feel bad about your

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Speaker 2: own pregnancy when you should feel joy. How is that

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Speaker 2: our responsibility? But just having a realistic conversation as adults

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Speaker 2: was just asking.

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Speaker 3: Way too much from you.

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Speaker 2: None of it makes any sense and it doesn't matter

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Speaker 2: what I say. The responsibility will never fall on you

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Speaker 2: and I will always come out as the bad guy,

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Speaker 2: because that's just how it is when you make a

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Speaker 2: decision that ultimately hurts me, and I just push it

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Speaker 2: down and swallow it because it's not worth the cost.

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Speaker 3: But I just can't swallow it this time.

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Speaker 2: And then you said me, don't feel comfortable talking about

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Speaker 2: it and feel very effing alone and sad right now.

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Speaker 2: So I let you know that I really did feel

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Speaker 2: bad about what was happening, but you never replied and

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Speaker 2: didn't want to talk to me about it. Fine, but

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Speaker 2: then you post on socials several times about it instead,

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Speaker 2: and now you're disappointed and upset and confused that you

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Speaker 2: haven't heard from me. It's incredibly childish and I don't

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Speaker 2: want any.

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Speaker 3: Part in that. Oh my god, we're only halfway through.

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Speaker 2: Ah, insane, this is insane, giving this whole conversation. Like

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Speaker 2: if that first text about the wedding stuff was just

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Speaker 2: said after the wedding stuff happened, yeah, that would be

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Speaker 2: like still crazy, but like, ah, another thing, yeah, but

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Speaker 2: this is after Yeah, the fact that she's still making

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Speaker 2: this an issue after this terrible thing, it's like, oh

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Speaker 2: my goodness.

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Speaker 3: But she continues.

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Speaker 2: This whole thing has been blown out of proportion, when

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Speaker 2: all I wanted from the start was for you to

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Speaker 2: acknowledge reality instead of the delusional fantasy that nothing would

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Speaker 2: change and that everything will be fine and that nothing.

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Speaker 3: Will stop me from being there.

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Speaker 2: Not willing to discuss any backup plans, not willing to

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Speaker 2: discuss the reality, but just gaslighting our concerns to oblivion.

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Speaker 2: No one in their right mind who has actually given

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Speaker 2: birth would make promises like that, girl.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, oh gosh, oh man. Also just like just

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Speaker 3: doubly cruel. Yeah, to say to someone who just loves

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Speaker 3: to be to say, oh, who's actually given birth, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: double really cruel, so incredibly insensitive. But you shut that

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Speaker 3: down with blind optimism and never actually listen to the

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Speaker 3: real issues. You just made it about you and the

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Speaker 3: facts that you were pregnant, and it was allegedly my fault.

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Speaker 3: You were so upset.

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Speaker 2: You've been trying to manipulate how I feel by love

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Speaker 2: bombing me and telling me that you're hurt, and by

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Speaker 2: begging me to not be mad when you first told

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Speaker 2: me your test is positive, so that automatically I'm the

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Speaker 2: bad guy for being upset no matter what. It's bonkers, actually,

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Speaker 2: but it's not even worth talking about anymore, because no

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Speaker 2: matter what I say, you always end up the victim

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Speaker 2: anytime you make a choice that hurts me, because yes,

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Speaker 2: you've done it several times over the years, you always

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00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,720
Speaker 2: have some convenient justifications for it, and it gets flipped

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Speaker 2: to me because being the problem for being upset and

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Speaker 2: you're the one who's being hurt. So, yeah, I'm tired,

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Speaker 2: and I'm done into this amount of texts. Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 2: honestly making me read that much?

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: And that last part about like you always have some

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Speaker 2: sort of convenient excuse or justification.

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Speaker 3: She when she.

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Speaker 2: Literally had a miscarriage, my girl, oh so convenient, terrible friend,

354
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Speaker 2: so terrible, Oh my goodness, Oh my goodness. So now

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Speaker 2: I'm just so effing confused. I don't know what she

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Speaker 2: means when she says I've manipulated her, that I've love

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00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,200
Speaker 2: bombed her by coddling her about my pregnancy to get

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Speaker 2: her to calm the f down, or that I'm always

359
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,399
Speaker 2: the victim and she's the bad guy. I'm truly so confused,

360
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,399
Speaker 2: and mad Am I manipulating? Was I wrong for getting

361
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Speaker 2: pregnant in the first place? Should I have kept this

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Speaker 2: a secret. No no, no, no at all, not at all.

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00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,760
Speaker 2: I really don't know what I did wrong, and I

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00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,160
Speaker 2: feel like I need some third party voices to help

365
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Speaker 2: me see the truth.

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Speaker 3: So am I the ale?

367
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:29,879
Speaker 2: Am? Someone commented, not the a hole. She's not your friend.

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00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,639
Speaker 2: Friends don't treat each other's this way. A true friend

369
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,400
Speaker 2: would be happy for you being pregnant. All she cares

370
00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,600
Speaker 2: about is herself. I suggest not going to her wedding

371
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:41,560
Speaker 2: and cutting her and her toxic husband off for good.

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00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,200
Speaker 2: Quit trying to please her. Grow a spine and stand

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Speaker 2: up for yourself. Don't allow people to treat you this way.

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00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:49,200
Speaker 2: And then someone replied to that, I wonder if the

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00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:52,359
Speaker 2: husband was as upset as Bridezilla made him out to be.

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00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,960
Speaker 2: I really can't imagine many guys that would care one

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Speaker 2: way or the other, but I'd cut him.

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Speaker 3: I'd cut both of them.

379
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,679
Speaker 2: Loose people change a lot intowelve years, so true Opie

380
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,360
Speaker 2: has grown while her friend hasn't been able to get

381
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:07,720
Speaker 2: beyond middle school mentally. Someone else responds, right, the ex

382
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,240
Speaker 2: friend and boyfriend are like, she didn't stop to think

383
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:13,159
Speaker 2: about us when she was having unprotected, spicy sleep with

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Speaker 2: her husband. Opie responds to that. Unfortunately, that is exactly

385
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,280
Speaker 2: what she said. When I was on that hour and

386
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:24,159
Speaker 2: a half long phone call. She said that she and

387
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,600
Speaker 2: her fiance were literally talking about, quote, why did he

388
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:31,640
Speaker 2: have to finish inside you during December?

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00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:32,080
Speaker 1: Come on?

390
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:32,919
Speaker 3: Or something like that.

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00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,480
Speaker 2: I don't remember how she worded it, but it stunned

392
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,920
Speaker 2: me so much when she said it. I was taken

393
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,800
Speaker 2: aback by her saying that and should have stopped it

394
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,560
Speaker 2: right there, but continued to try to be empathetic and

395
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Speaker 2: calm her anxiety.

396
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,879
Speaker 3: But yes, they literally.

397
00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 2: Discussed with each other that they were mad that two

398
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,679
Speaker 2: married adults had unprotected spicy sleep eleven months before their wedding.

399
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:55,959
Speaker 2: Then told me while crying that they said that, and

400
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,919
Speaker 2: I continued to try to be empathetic. I see as

401
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,320
Speaker 2: I write these things that I been unfair to myself.

402
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,600
Speaker 2: I made myself small to calm someone down and appease

403
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:06,760
Speaker 2: them over something that wasn't wrong with me to do

404
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:09,199
Speaker 2: in the first place. I hear what you were all saying,

405
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,400
Speaker 2: and I appreciate all the responses, and that is it.

406
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 3: Our friendship bended over Chinese food sounds well right, sounds

407
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 3: pretty justified. Okay, So I know the title sounds ridiculous,

408
00:19:21,440 --> 00:19:25,400
Speaker 3: but hear me out For background. I twenty eight female,

409
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,919
Speaker 3: recently graduated college. I've always been kind of socially awkward,

410
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 3: and being an older student, I found it hard to

411
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,560
Speaker 3: make friends, but I decided to really make more of

412
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,080
Speaker 3: an effort in my senior year. By the way, this

413
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,920
Speaker 3: comes from Little Missy and if you want to spit

414
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:41,800
Speaker 3: your own stories, go to our slashokey story time separated show.

415
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 3: I met a girl let's call her Wi Fi Sure

416
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,280
Speaker 3: twenty three female through a friend and we hit it off.

417
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,080
Speaker 3: We ended up forming a little friend circle with about

418
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Speaker 3: eight people. We often hung out one on one or

419
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:59,679
Speaker 3: in smaller groups as well. She was really nice, fun

420
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 3: and very bubbly. I enjoyed her company a lot and

421
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 3: thought highly of her. I ben introvert by nature, and

422
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,720
Speaker 3: while I enjoy people, I generally do so in short bursts.

423
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,919
Speaker 3: Then I need to recharge with lots of a loane time.

424
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,119
Speaker 3: At the beginning of our last quarter, we were on

425
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,679
Speaker 3: a ten week quarter system, she told me she was

426
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 3: struggling because she's extremely extroverted and most of our group

427
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,640
Speaker 3: were introverts. She said it was hard to get them

428
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:27,760
Speaker 3: to go out often and the loneliness was really affecting her.

429
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,160
Speaker 3: By this time, I had grown to really care about her.

430
00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 3: I also wanted to put more effort into building friendships,

431
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 3: so I decided to go all in on supporting her.

432
00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,520
Speaker 3: This meant we went from hanging out maybe once a

433
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,439
Speaker 3: week to three times a week. I also tried to

434
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:44,880
Speaker 3: help support her more in our group chat, helping her

435
00:20:44,880 --> 00:20:48,200
Speaker 3: plan and encourage people to come to events. These meetups

436
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:52,000
Speaker 3: could be anything from nights out at bars, to study sessions, brunches,

437
00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:55,840
Speaker 3: or even crochet nights. I honestly enjoyed spending time with

438
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,200
Speaker 3: her and the group, but it was also a lot

439
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,159
Speaker 3: for me to handle, especially with my school commitments and

440
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 3: the different clubs I was on the boards for. Still,

441
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,440
Speaker 3: I felt like it was important, so I kept at it.

442
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:07,400
Speaker 3: Still I felt like it was important, so I kept

443
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 3: at it. Figuring I'd have plenty of alone time once

444
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 3: I moved home after graduation, I thought I should put

445
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 3: my energy into making memories and relationships, even if it

446
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 3: was tiring at times some other important context. While we

447
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,040
Speaker 3: got along really well, like any relationship, we also had

448
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,000
Speaker 3: our spats. I felt they were relatively minor, and we

449
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 3: talked them out well. One disagreement we had was about

450
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 3: how she acted at bars. She's super extroverted and very pretty,

451
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 3: so whenever we went out, she drew a lot of attention.

452
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 3: She would bounce all around the rooms, striking up conversations

453
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 3: with everyone, flirting with some guys, chatting with others, making

454
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,360
Speaker 3: new girlfriends, and just generally being very bubbly and gregarious.

455
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:50,640
Speaker 3: I honestly really admired this about her. Like I said,

456
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 3: I'm introverted and tend to be overly reserved around people,

457
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 3: so I admired how naturally she connected with others, how

458
00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:01,399
Speaker 3: easily she talked to strangers. I call implemented her on this. Later,

459
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:04,800
Speaker 3: she told me she felt insulted. That's like what she said.

460
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,480
Speaker 3: I made her sound like a slute in front of

461
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 3: her guy friends. Dude, come on, I say, why are

462
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,360
Speaker 3: you taking like that? She told me she didn't appreciate

463
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 3: me mentioning her talking to guys or how bubbly and

464
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,119
Speaker 3: friendly she was, because she felt it painted her as

465
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 3: a bimbo when she was trying really hard to be

466
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 3: seen as smart and educated. That's on you, girl, that's

467
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 3: on you. Where are you taking this way? Yeah? I

468
00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,960
Speaker 3: apologized and told her that I had not intended any

469
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 3: insult or put down. I genuinely admired her. I also

470
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,280
Speaker 3: told her that I thought she was both extremely intelligent

471
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,880
Speaker 3: and extremely bubbly, and I didn't see them as mutually exclusive. Yeah,

472
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:41,600
Speaker 3: you can be like friendly and also intelligent. Absolutely. I

473
00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,600
Speaker 3: told her I thought she was brilliant, sociable, and chatty,

474
00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,359
Speaker 3: and that I hadn't meant to embarrass her, but I

475
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 3: acknowledged how she felt, apologized for anything I had said

476
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 3: that upset her, and agreed not to talk about her

477
00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:57,200
Speaker 3: with the guys. She also apologized for misunderstanding me and

478
00:22:57,240 --> 00:23:00,080
Speaker 3: said she was a little self conscious about it. Okay, well,

479
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:04,159
Speaker 3: she apologized she's aware of you. I thought that was

480
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 3: the end of it. I'm guessing it was not. Oh No.

481
00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,320
Speaker 3: I was really happy we were able to have such

482
00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,720
Speaker 3: a good conversation and work through it, because I thought

483
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 3: it meant we had a healthy relationship. Another disagreement we

484
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,040
Speaker 3: had was over how she dressed. Like I said, she's

485
00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 3: really pretty, and whenever we went out, she would wear

486
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 3: outfits that accentuated that crop tops, mini dresses, et cetera,

487
00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:30,159
Speaker 3: and she always looked amazing. To be clear, I am

488
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,400
Speaker 3: a Girl's girl. I think women should dress and act

489
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,240
Speaker 3: however it makes them feel their best, because that's just obvious.

490
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,679
Speaker 3: But she would go out, get a lot of attention,

491
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,119
Speaker 3: talk with people, exchange numbers, et cetera, and then start

492
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 3: complaining about how uncomfortable it was to be looked at

493
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 3: all the time. She would say she wished we could

494
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 3: go out for once with Justice girls and be left alone,

495
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 3: and that it really upset her. So I told her

496
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,719
Speaker 3: that if it really bothered her that much, then she

497
00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,440
Speaker 3: had the option of dressing more conservatively or in baggyar

498
00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 3: clothes to try to avoid attention. She got really pissed

499
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:03,440
Speaker 3: and asked if I was slute shaming her. I told

500
00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,919
Speaker 3: her I wasn't. I thought she looked really pretty. But

501
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,919
Speaker 3: if being looked at upset her as much as she

502
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 3: was saying, she had at least taught the option to

503
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:11,919
Speaker 3: try and avoid it. Though I knew there was no

504
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,880
Speaker 3: way to completely avoid being looked at or guarantee being

505
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 3: left alone, but it was worth a try. Yeah, she

506
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 3: got upset and says she should be able to walk

507
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,919
Speaker 3: around on clothed and not be stared at, And then

508
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 3: I was slut shaming her and saying she was asking

509
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 3: for attention. I agreed that women should be able to

510
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 3: wear whatever they want without being aggled, but I also

511
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 3: pointed out that this was the world we lived in

512
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,320
Speaker 3: right now. I told her I didn't like seeing her

513
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 3: this upset and was just trying to offer alternative solutions

514
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,920
Speaker 3: to help her feel better, but ultimately she should wear

515
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 3: whatever she wants, and I was sorry if I came

516
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:44,080
Speaker 3: across as judge. I had really just wanted to help

517
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 3: her stop being upset. She accepted my apology and we

518
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 3: just kind of dropped it. I didn't really appreciate her

519
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:52,159
Speaker 3: accusing me of slute shaming her, but I also know

520
00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 3: I can be kind of old fashioned in my ideas,

521
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,679
Speaker 3: so I just chalked it up to a difference in

522
00:24:57,720 --> 00:24:58,960
Speaker 3: opinion slash background.

523
00:24:59,160 --> 00:24:59,560
Speaker 1: Yeah.

524
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 3: So well, moving on to graduation, we were meeting up

525
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 3: literally every day because she was worried about the group

526
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,720
Speaker 3: breaking up and being lonely during the summer. She wanted

527
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,360
Speaker 3: to make memories, but it was honestly a lot, especially

528
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 3: since it was also during finals week. Oh, I just

529
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,439
Speaker 3: felt like this was the final stretch and I needed

530
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,120
Speaker 3: to tough it out for a few days. Then I'd

531
00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,399
Speaker 3: be at home on my mom's sofa with more alone

532
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,000
Speaker 3: time than I knew what to do with, so I

533
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 3: went with it. However, I was admittedly tired and kind

534
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,600
Speaker 3: of at the end of my emotional tether girl, you

535
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 3: need to learn how to say no. I think that's

536
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,479
Speaker 3: the moral of the story. You need to learn how

537
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:33,119
Speaker 3: to say no, he says. I just can't go out.

538
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 3: It's a skill. She and I went out for Chinese

539
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 3: food with two other people from our group. Some other

540
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 3: friends of mine were meeting up with us later for

541
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,199
Speaker 3: the end of dinner and some drinks at the bar

542
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 3: next door. Afterward. When we sat down and were looking

543
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,399
Speaker 3: at the menu, Whifi said something about wanting the pork

544
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,679
Speaker 3: fed rice. I commented that we should get the vegetable

545
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 3: rides since our friend was vegetarian. She gave me a

546
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 3: weird look and asked why our friend being vegetarian meant

547
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 3: she couldn't eat pork. I clarified, saying that it didn't,

548
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,360
Speaker 3: but since we were sharing the staples like rice or noodles,

549
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 3: they should be vegetarian so everyone could eat them. Then

550
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 3: we could also get one or two meat dishes as well.

551
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,760
Speaker 3: She asked why I assumed she was sharing, and I

552
00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,240
Speaker 3: pointed out that it was a sharing menu. I don't

553
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 3: know how to explain this, but it was one of

554
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 3: those places where you ordered large plates for the table

555
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:21,640
Speaker 3: and everyone shares. There were no individual mixed plate options anyway.

556
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 3: She said she'd never done that before, and how she'd

557
00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:25,920
Speaker 3: never shared her meal at a restaurant or something. Most

558
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 3: Chinese places I've been to are like this. I mean,

559
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 3: that's how I usually do them, yeah, which our other

560
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,679
Speaker 3: friends agreed with, But she just said she thought it

561
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 3: was weird. I figured it was a cultural difference, and

562
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:38,679
Speaker 3: she was from a different country. I thought it was

563
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 3: just a new thing for her. She and our friend

564
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,880
Speaker 3: went to scope at the bar while our other friend

565
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 3: let's call him Lee for convenience, and I stayed behind

566
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 3: to wait for our food. Wi Fi had ordered the chicken,

567
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 3: which arrived first. Lee immediately served himself some. I was

568
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,040
Speaker 3: hesitant since she'd been so weird about it, but Lee

569
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,800
Speaker 3: seemed very nonchalant, so I figured I was just overthinking

570
00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 3: with my social awkwardness and plated some as well. I

571
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,679
Speaker 3: think you should have kept overthinking that. I mean, she

572
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:08,280
Speaker 3: did specifically state she was like, why would I share? Yeah?

573
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 3: Like that was a little bit weird. I don't know,

574
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,119
Speaker 3: I have like mixed feelings, so like that was a

575
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:15,959
Speaker 3: little bit weird of reaction because usually when you go

576
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,320
Speaker 3: to like Chinese restaurants or even I would say, like

577
00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 3: sometimes when you go to Indian restaurants, a lot of

578
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:22,879
Speaker 3: different places. I guess, yeah, it's a lot of like

579
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,439
Speaker 3: sharing things, like things that you like, if you have

580
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 3: rice dishes, you'll you know, share forrees and stuff.

581
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 2: Get one and then share it with everyone. Yeah, but

582
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 2: so that was like a little bit different. But her

583
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,960
Speaker 2: specifically stating hey, I don't want to share, and then

584
00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:42,160
Speaker 2: you guys then eating her food. Yes, a little bit

585
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 2: weird and awkward there.

586
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 3: Lee also took a sip of her soda when it

587
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,240
Speaker 3: arrived and offered me a sip, which I thought was weird, weird.

588
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 3: That's that's much weird. I don't just steal people's sodas

589
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:59,200
Speaker 3: without asking, drinks without asking. A drink is drin is different?

590
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:02,840
Speaker 3: Different drink? This ude? Yeah, However, Wi Fi and I

591
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 3: had shared drinks on numerous occasions before. Okay, so I

592
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 3: thought maybe it was more normal than I realized, and

593
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,080
Speaker 3: agreed to have a sip as well. Girl, Come on,

594
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,560
Speaker 3: I honestly did think it was kind of weird, but

595
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:15,520
Speaker 3: also I'm introverted and socially anxious, so I also don't

596
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 3: trust my own sense of judgment on these things. A

597
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 3: few minutes later they came back, and by that point

598
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 3: we had a plate full of food. I told her

599
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:26,000
Speaker 3: the chicken was crazy spicy. She kind of froze and

600
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:28,399
Speaker 3: asked if I'd eaten some. Lie said we had, and

601
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 3: mentioned that her soda was super good though, and that

602
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 3: he liked the spice. Okay, you know what, Leeno Pierre

603
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 3: in the wrong? Leano Pierre in the wrong. She kind

604
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:44,120
Speaker 3: of laughed and said really or something, before drinking some herself. However,

605
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 3: for the rest of the night, she would not speak

606
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 3: to me. She talked to Lee Okay, that's weird, and

607
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 3: even my other friends when they arrived, but wouldn't even

608
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 3: look at me at all. I had really hurt my feelings.

609
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 3: I was the only one graduating, and this was supposed

610
00:28:57,800 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 3: to be a dinner to celebrate, but now my friend

611
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,959
Speaker 3: was pretty like I didn't exist. This continued even at

612
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 3: the bar, and I just kind of disassociated since I

613
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,840
Speaker 3: was so hurt and overwhelmed. My other friends checked in

614
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 3: on me a few times, but I just said I

615
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 3: was fine and stayed silent otherwise because I didn't even

616
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 3: know how to explain it or what went so wrong.

617
00:29:16,080 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 3: It also didn't help that I was the designated driver

618
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 3: and had to take everyone home while they all talked

619
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 3: around me. By the time I got home, she had

620
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 3: sent me a long text. She said that she felt

621
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 3: violated by me, and that me eating the chicken after

622
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 3: she said she wasn't okay with it was a clear

623
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 3: power move. She felt I was trying to humiliate her

624
00:29:35,720 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 3: or show off or something, and the fact that I

625
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 3: hadn't immediately apologized proved it was intentional. She said that

626
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 3: lee was one thing, but she thought better of me. Okay,

627
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 3: it feels dramatic.

628
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm kind of I don't necessarily agree, Yeah, but

629
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:53,840
Speaker 2: I also don't disagree.

630
00:29:54,200 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 3: Yeah. I was honestly baffled. She had said she thought

631
00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 3: it was weird, but I thought she meant weird as

632
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 3: in something she hadn't done before, didn't realize, not as

633
00:30:02,480 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 3: her setting a boundary. To be honest, I can see

634
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 3: why she'd be upset about the food thing, because I

635
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 3: had clearly misread the situation and upset her, and that

636
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,560
Speaker 3: was wrong of me one hundred percent. However, I was

637
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 3: also super hurt that she ignored me at my graduation

638
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 3: dinner instead of pulling me aside or talking to me later.

639
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 3: That's fair, I think the mature thing would have been

640
00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 3: for be like, hey, like, I just asked you not

641
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,680
Speaker 3: to eat it. Why did you do that? Yeah? Yeah,

642
00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 3: instead of ignoring you. All of this power move humiliation

643
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 3: stuff felt like it came out of nowhere. I felt

644
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 3: so insulted by that I waited until morning to reply

645
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 3: so I could calm down a bit. I apologized for

646
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 3: crossing her boundary, but told her I was honestly kind

647
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 3: of devastated that, after all the time we spent together,

648
00:30:42,280 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 3: she thought I was the kind of person who'd pull

649
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 3: power moves or tried to intentionally humiliate her. It felt

650
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 3: like she didn't know me at all if she thought

651
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,440
Speaker 3: of me like that. We were supposed to do a

652
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 3: friend's brunch and maybe a pot look, but I told

653
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 3: her I wouldn't be doing either, as I wanted some

654
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,920
Speaker 3: time to process. She texted me back, upset that I

655
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:00,800
Speaker 3: was letting this ruin the time we had left together,

656
00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,480
Speaker 3: and insisted that she had been super clear, so it

657
00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 3: couldn't have been of miscommunication. There was a lot more

658
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,720
Speaker 3: back and forth, but that was the gist of it.

659
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 3: It's also kind of important to note that most of

660
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 3: this text change was happening while I was backstage waiting

661
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 3: to walk for an award at my graduation yikes wow,

662
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:21,840
Speaker 3: until I just turned my phone off for a while.

663
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:24,360
Speaker 3: I ultimately asked her not to text or call me

664
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,520
Speaker 3: for a while because I'm not good with emotions and

665
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 3: wanted time to really think things through. She ended up

666
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 3: texting me about once a month through the summer, but

667
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,400
Speaker 3: I never replied. At the end of summer, I reached

668
00:31:34,440 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 3: out and let her know that I just didn't think

669
00:31:36,040 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 3: we could be friends anymore because she doubted my character

670
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 3: as a person. She chose to pick a text fight

671
00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:44,520
Speaker 3: with me during my graduation ceremony, which I felt was

672
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 3: very inconsiderate. Although it had been a few months, I

673
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 3: still just felt really hurt and didn't see a way

674
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 3: for me to get past this or let it go.

675
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 3: I wished her the best, thanked her for being my

676
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,520
Speaker 3: friend during school, and wished her a good final year

677
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 3: in graduation. She replied and said she thought my ceremony

678
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 3: was in the afternoon and not the morning, and she'd

679
00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 3: wanted to settle things quickly before I left, so the

680
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 3: timing was an accident. By the way, it would never

681
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 3: be an accident. To listen to full episodes of stories

682
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 3: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, or

683
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 3: your favorite podcast app in search of Okay story time.

684
00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,719
Speaker 3: She said she felt mistreated and hurt, and then it

685
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:21,960
Speaker 3: wasn't just about the chicken. She claimed I repeatedly put

686
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,480
Speaker 3: her down and done some seriously mean girl things to her.

687
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 3: She said then how hurt she was that I didn't

688
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,880
Speaker 3: want to be friends and felt I was abandoning her

689
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 3: and that it was unfair. She said she'd wait in

690
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 3: case I changed my mind and wanted to be friends again.

691
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 3: So it's been a while, but this still bothers me sometimes.

692
00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:40,880
Speaker 3: I posted this here because I genuinely liked to know.

693
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:43,600
Speaker 3: Was I being a mean girl? Was I too quick

694
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 3: to walk away? And I humbly ask you unbiased strangers

695
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 3: for your opinion and we'll answer any questions. Thanks. Also,

696
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 3: sorry it was long. There was a lot and I

697
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 3: didn't realize, but that is the end of that story.

698
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 3: Wow's uh hey, it's Sam.

699
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three

700
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 1: minutes of uh.

701
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,280
Speaker 5: It's from our sponsors.

702
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,959
Speaker 1: I broke up with my boyfriend after I lost weight.

703
00:33:05,400 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: Everyone in our life is furious. As a couple, we

704
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,720
Speaker 1: decided that we were going to get in shape together.

705
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: We love being outside and exercise, and we used to

706
00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:20,200
Speaker 1: be health nuts and taking care of the food we ate.

707
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user b f and

708
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: Weight Loss and if you want to submit your own stories,

709
00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:31,080
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay story time subreddit. Do

710
00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:35,080
Speaker 1: it there. So, even though we continued to exercise daily,

711
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: our food plan wasn't great, so we decided to change it.

712
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:41,680
Speaker 1: We developed a health plan because of it. I went

713
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:44,400
Speaker 1: from one hundred and fifty five pounds and five ten

714
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: to one hundred and twenty five pounds currently adding muscle

715
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 1: and toning.

716
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 5: Five ten and you're one hundred twenty five pounds.

717
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:55,000
Speaker 1: I have no idea what healthy weights are, but I'm

718
00:33:55,080 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 1: like six foot two hundred, so five ten one is

719
00:33:58,920 --> 00:34:03,080
Speaker 1: like Dan. However, he stayed the same weight six' three

720
00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:06,959
Speaker 1: one point, eighty which is perfectly. Fine WHAT i started

721
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,520
Speaker 1: to get. Fit lots of guys started to pay attention to,

722
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 1: me And i've been asked several times to be a.

723
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: MODEL i won't try to say that this wasn't. Good

724
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:18,799
Speaker 1: it was really good for me and my ego and

725
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:21,720
Speaker 1: my really low self esteem is now at a normal.

726
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 1: Level life's. Good i'm happy And i'm feeling. Good boyfriend

727
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: was happy with my new body always grabbing, me but

728
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 1: didn't like the new, attention which is understandable in my.

729
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,840
Speaker 1: Opinion he AND i continued to exercise UNTIL i was

730
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,440
Speaker 1: one hundred and forty. Pounds he then started to come

731
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:40,680
Speaker 1: up with. Excuses, then AFTER i achieved my goal weight

732
00:34:40,800 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 1: one thirty, five my boyfriend started to ask for pizza

733
00:34:44,120 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 1: and other. THINGS i said that it was okay for

734
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,520
Speaker 1: me if he ate, it BUT i didn't want. To

735
00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 1: he went, nuts started telling me THAT i was obsessed

736
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 1: with weight, loss and That i'm, anorexic and other hurtful.

737
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 1: Things then WHEN i suggested, running, hiking or some physical

738
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 1: activity that we had always done in the, past he

739
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 1: would always say no and suggest other things like watching a.

740
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: MOVIE i haven't those bassis lee but, cooking and would

741
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 1: make me feel guilty for leaving to do some. Exercise

742
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: As i've, said. Before we've done this daily since we.

743
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 1: Met until my one hundred and forty pound. MARK i

744
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,360
Speaker 1: was starting to feel really unhappy as all the THINGS

745
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,880
Speaker 1: i loved that we both loved to do in the

746
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 1: past were being. Neglected AND i am just not a

747
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 1: person to stay indoors WATCHING tv and. RELAXING i hate.

748
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,799
Speaker 1: IT i have lots of. Energy the final THING i

749
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 1: discovered why he didn't lose weight when he was trying so.

750
00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: HARD i don't get, it those were his. Words he

751
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: packed his healthy lunch at home and then when dump,

752
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 1: It i'm so effing. ANGRY i hate when people waste,

753
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 1: food and he would eat pizza or a sub or.

754
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: McDonald's i saw a, receipt asked him about, it and

755
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,680
Speaker 1: after some time in which he tried to say he didn't,

756
00:35:54,719 --> 00:35:57,920
Speaker 1: remember he proceeded to. CONFESS i broke it off with

757
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 1: him right, there As i've had. Enough. Wow, Wow, okay

758
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:07,280
Speaker 1: we do still have a lot of, storyline but, wow.

759
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 5: This is something that WHERE i agree.

760
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 4: With the breakup is. Fine your personalities are just you're drifting.

761
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 4: Off you found new, interests new hobbies that you really,

762
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:20,240
Speaker 4: love and you cannot force people to change that way

763
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,359
Speaker 4: if they do it with, you, great but if they

764
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 4: don't want to do, it you really can't force. Them

765
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:25,680
Speaker 4: and if you don't want to do, it that's, perfect

766
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 4: okay with splitting.

767
00:36:26,719 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: UP i don't even think it's. THAT i think it's

768
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:30,919
Speaker 1: just the lie that made her do. IT i don't

769
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 1: think it's the fact that he's, LIKE i don't want

770
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: to eat, THAT i want to eat. McDonald's it's more

771
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,000
Speaker 1: than like she was helping in some way to make those,

772
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 1: lunches in the fact they just threw it.

773
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 4: Away like it could be the toxic trait of, like,

774
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:45,000
Speaker 4: Hey i'm doing all of, this Like i'm getting, healthier

775
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 4: and like you're trying to put that in everyone's, life

776
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 4: and like if they don't, say, HEY i don't want.

777
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,799
Speaker 4: That and that's one, Thing but it seems like the

778
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:53,920
Speaker 4: boyfriend agreed to like a healthy lifestyle and it was, Like,

779
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 4: okay let's do this. Together i'm down for a healthy

780
00:36:56,160 --> 00:36:58,879
Speaker 4: lifestyle and just blatantly lied and just, like, No i'm

781
00:36:58,920 --> 00:36:59,280
Speaker 4: just gonna.

782
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:02,360
Speaker 1: Eat maybe just the jealousy vibes trying to be, like,

783
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: hey lets you don't. Healthy let's you don't. Healthy she's, like,

784
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: NO i don't want to do. THAT i want to

785
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:05,360
Speaker 1: keep you.

786
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 4: Going it seemed like there were JUST opi had their

787
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 4: own lifestyle and the boyfriend had their own, lifestyle and

788
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,440
Speaker 4: they just split, off like they didn't go to movies together.

789
00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 4: Anymore LIKE i think you have to find a good

790
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:20,120
Speaker 4: median of, Both like you can have a cheap, day

791
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 4: cheat day is, fine that's allowed if you. Want WHEN opi, said,

792
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,880
Speaker 4: oh the idea of going to the, movies, Like i'm

793
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 4: just don't want for. That i'm, like you also are

794
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,440
Speaker 4: dating this, Person like you guys don't have to have

795
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:31,479
Speaker 4: a Like, okay we're either doing running or we're sitting

796
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 4: on the couch all. Day it's, like you guys can

797
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 4: go out to, dinner you guys can go to the.

798
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 4: Movies you guys can do. Something but it seems like

799
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,440
Speaker 4: they both naturally just like weren't agreeing with.

800
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:44,600
Speaker 1: Anything, well let's agree tinue this story. Now he told

801
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: everyone THAT i became a shallow witch WHEN i lost,

802
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,120
Speaker 1: weight AND i want to have a man with abs

803
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,800
Speaker 1: and B i. Candy everyone believes. Him this is a small,

804
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 1: town And i'm being seen as the thing shallow. Witch

805
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:00,359
Speaker 1: at the same, time he's sending dozens of messages every

806
00:38:00,760 --> 00:38:04,760
Speaker 1: one hundred plus asking me to consider it that he loves.

807
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:06,879
Speaker 1: Me what CAN i? DO i love him a lot

808
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 1: AND i want to be with, him but NOW i

809
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,359
Speaker 1: just don't recognize, him and our fun times of the

810
00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:15,160
Speaker 1: past are completely. LOST i fell in love with his

811
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:19,560
Speaker 1: full of, energy always moving, persona not this lazy person

812
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:23,360
Speaker 1: a shadow of what he want. Was he promised me

813
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 1: that he would change and asked me to go to

814
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 1: the doctor Because i'm completely obsessed with. It with all these,

815
00:38:29,719 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 1: TROUBLES i lost the additional ten, pounds which makes his

816
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,040
Speaker 1: story even more. Credible SHOULD i go back to him

817
00:38:36,040 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 1: and trust that he's going to be back and go

818
00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 1: to a doctor as he? Asked AM i completely delusional

819
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:45,440
Speaker 1: and out of? LINE i hate being bath. MOUTHED i

820
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 1: don't have thick, skin and these comments really hurt. Me reddit,

821
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,799
Speaker 1: help there are some comments. Here before you get into the,

822
00:38:51,800 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 1: COMMENTS i will say there is such a thing as

823
00:38:56,400 --> 00:39:01,040
Speaker 1: being too, fit too in, shape where it circles back to.

824
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,360
Speaker 1: Unhealthy Like i've had friends who worked out until they

825
00:39:04,400 --> 00:39:06,719
Speaker 1: had to go to the, Hospital AND i don't know

826
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,719
Speaker 1: if that's the level of fixation THAT op has right,

827
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 1: here like where you were already starting, at like five

828
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 1: ten one point fifty what like is? NORMAL i think.

829
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 5: Some, people Like puppy, says they have a lot of.

830
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 5: Energy they like working.

831
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 4: Out that's, okay but as long as you do it

832
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,040
Speaker 4: in a healthy manner and you're not obsessed with.

833
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 1: IT i think if you get much smaller than, that like,

834
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:30,120
Speaker 1: now you're leaning towards not healthy, territory like six three one,

835
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 1: Eighty LIKE i can't imagine being three inches taller and

836
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 1: also twenty pounds. Lighter and, AGAIN i don't think it's

837
00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 1: the fact that he's not wanting to lose weight or

838
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,399
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to eat health. ANYMORE i think really

839
00:39:41,440 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: the root of it was like that he was just

840
00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:47,080
Speaker 1: lying and he's clearly not that. Lazy if he's six

841
00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 1: three one, eighty, like there's a level of some kind

842
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 1: of upkeep going on.

843
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:56,359
Speaker 4: There back to it with the, relationship they instantly, well

844
00:39:56,719 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 4: op broke up with, Him like you broke up with,

845
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 4: him and now you feel bad that he's bad mouthing

846
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 4: you like the badmouthing is really, dumb but then you

847
00:40:03,239 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 4: want to get back together with. HIM i feel like

848
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:07,400
Speaker 4: you guys jumped it way too. Quickly you should have

849
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 4: definitely had a conversation of why he's doing, this rather Than,

850
00:40:10,640 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 4: Nope i'm.

851
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 5: Done why why did you do?

852
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 1: That, yeah it was a pretty quick. Decision let's get

853
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,279
Speaker 1: into the. Update they're not, update they're. Comments comment number one,

854
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 1: weight he's sixty three one hundred and eighty pounds and

855
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 1: you want him to lose. Weight, Reply i'm glad this

856
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,879
Speaker 1: isn't buried at the. BOTTOM i would love to hear

857
00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,120
Speaker 1: his side BECAUSE op sounds unbalanced and seems to be

858
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 1: skewing details to paint her in a better. Light another,

859
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,120
Speaker 1: reply she was one p fifty five at five to,

860
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,919
Speaker 1: ten she was already considered normal weight for her. Height

861
00:40:38,239 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 1: she or possibly both of, them might have some skewed

862
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 1: body image. Issues Replies, Yes i'm five to ten and

863
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 1: in the upper one thirties and developed an eating disorder

864
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:48,759
Speaker 1: WHEN i tried to lose. Weight not THAT bmi is

865
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,360
Speaker 1: a reliable, indicator but if you plan on getting yourself

866
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 1: under that, threshold you probably need the help of a

867
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,719
Speaker 1: nutritionist or other professional to keep you physically and mentally on,

868
00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:00,360
Speaker 1: track like they do with film stars losing weight for a.

869
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: Role then, again everyone's. Different obviously my experiences aren't, everyone's

870
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,840
Speaker 1: and Maybe op fell to her lowest weight naturally without

871
00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 1: pushing too, hard then realized she wanted to gain some

872
00:41:10,800 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: muscle at any. Rate op has painted a picture of a,

873
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,359
Speaker 1: jealous controlling boyfriend who won't accept her. Breakup six three

874
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:18,480
Speaker 1: point eighty is a number you can be proud, of

875
00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: but being possessive or cleaning of your so. Isn't, yeah

876
00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 1: that was kind of also my earlier takeaway of like

877
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:27,560
Speaker 1: it might just be that he's like getting cringey about

878
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:29,560
Speaker 1: other men thinking she's.

879
00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,319
Speaker 4: Attractive she's very happy with everything and it's good For,

880
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,920
Speaker 4: ope but you got taking the consideration of how does

881
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 4: this make your partner, feel you, know like maybe it

882
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:39,319
Speaker 4: went too, Far like a little bit too.

883
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:43,280
Speaker 1: Much could be also To op's, boyfriend that's hot girlfriend. Syndrome,

884
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,520
Speaker 1: dude when you have hot, girlfriend other people guess. What

885
00:41:46,960 --> 00:41:49,440
Speaker 1: other people can see her with their eyes and they

886
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:50,320
Speaker 1: can tell that she's.

887
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 4: Like again saying all those bad things and like oh, no,

888
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 4: NO i love you and using THE i love you or.

889
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 5: It is, like oh it's love is not an. Excuse

890
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:57,879
Speaker 5: that doesn't seem like it's.

891
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 1: Love so far whack on both sides from my, perspective

892
00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 1: we made healthy. Lunches a man who's six y three and,

893
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,560
Speaker 1: exercise he needs a f ton of. Food her healthy

894
00:42:06,640 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 1: lunches were probably some three hundred calorie piece of crap

895
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:11,440
Speaker 1: lunch he pulled off Of. Pinterest she clearly has no

896
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 1: idea about. Fitness wanting your boyfriend to lose weight at

897
00:42:14,280 --> 00:42:17,719
Speaker 1: one hundred and eighty, pounds professional male athletes who are six'

898
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,960
Speaker 1: three are basically always heavier than. ONE eighty i think

899
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:23,359
Speaker 1: the long distance runners who are sixty three are even

900
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 1: one seventy to. One eighty, if anything if he's trying to,

901
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 1: be fit he's probably going to increase. His weight she

902
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,479
Speaker 1: doesn't know the first thing about what she's, talking ABOUT

903
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,680
Speaker 1: and i don't believe a word. She says we've arrived at.

904
00:42:32,719 --> 00:42:35,359
Speaker 1: The update we's. Hop end it Sounds like i've left

905
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,719
Speaker 1: some important. DETAILS out i read all your comments and,

906
00:42:38,760 --> 00:42:41,719
Speaker 1: realized that but it was too late to reply as

907
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:43,719
Speaker 1: there were, too MANY so i prefer to add some

908
00:42:43,800 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: explanations in. THIS update i thank you all for. YOUR

909
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 1: comments i wasn't expecting such a. Big response some of

910
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 1: your comments, were HURTFUL and i don't really GET what

911
00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 1: i have said to. Deserve That but i'll try my

912
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: best to. Explain. MYSELF first i never said that we

913
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 1: weren't at a, healthy weight OR that i think he

914
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:03,279
Speaker 1: is overweight or at a. BAD weight i don't know

915
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:05,799
Speaker 1: why people assumed THAT when i never, said IT and

916
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 1: i don't really get all the weights that were thrown in.

917
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,960
Speaker 1: The post every person carries their, weight differently and some

918
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: of you sounded offended As if i've said your weight.

919
00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:17,439
Speaker 1: IS bad i never said anything about. His weight he

920
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:19,080
Speaker 1: was the one who was trying to get fit again

921
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:21,840
Speaker 1: as he went from really fit to somewhat skinny Fat

922
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,200
Speaker 1: as he was the one who was not happy, with this.

923
00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:27,160
Speaker 1: Not ME what i said is that we were not

924
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 1: as fit as we were in. The past we were

925
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:33,359
Speaker 1: both gym rats and health. NUTS both i met him at.

926
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: THE gym i have never pressured him to. Exercise whatsoever

927
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:40,040
Speaker 1: we fell in love because we had similar interests, outdoor,

928
00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: activities exercised taking care of. Our bodies he was really

929
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 1: proud of. His abs, for example when, we met he

930
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:49,040
Speaker 1: was six three one ninety and, pure muscle more than

931
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:52,840
Speaker 1: what he. WEIGHS now i was five ten and one thirty. Five,

932
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 1: toned however we started to relax in the food that.

933
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,120
Speaker 1: We ate we started to drink more and eat a

934
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:00,880
Speaker 1: lot of, fast food even though we can continued. Exercising

935
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 1: daily we sort of Became skinnat HE and i developed a,

936
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:07,880
Speaker 1: small belly and we were not happy, with, it again both.

937
00:44:07,880 --> 00:44:10,800
Speaker 1: Of us that's why we tried to enter the cut

938
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,720
Speaker 1: phase and then we would go into the. Bulk phase

939
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: you THOUGHT that i wanted him to, Lose weight you.

940
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: WERE wrong i didn't pressure him to. Do this he

941
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:21,640
Speaker 1: was always talking about how he missed his muscles and

942
00:44:21,640 --> 00:44:24,280
Speaker 1: how he was stronger in. The past so we decided

943
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 1: as a couple that we would be. Healthy together he

944
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,680
Speaker 1: was happy with, our progress but seemed really surprised that

945
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,960
Speaker 1: his weight. HAD stalled i was worried, about HIM as

946
00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:35,680
Speaker 1: i didn't understand why his efforts. WEREN'T working i was

947
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,320
Speaker 1: sad because he seemed sad with the lack, of results

948
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 1: and THAT'S why i was so MAD when i discovered

949
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,840
Speaker 1: that he had been eating fast food behind. My back

950
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,800
Speaker 1: first because he was throwing, away Food which i'm. Completely

951
00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 1: against SECOND because i was researching lots of things and

952
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: was WORRIED because i didn't understand why he wasn't. Seeing,

953
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:57,759
Speaker 1: RESULTS third i didn't understand why he was lying. TO

954
00:44:57,800 --> 00:45:00,279
Speaker 1: me i never pressured him to get. IN shape i

955
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,520
Speaker 1: love him, either WAY so i didn't understand why he

956
00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 1: was lying. To me.

957
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 3: Go ahead you.

958
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,680
Speaker 4: Weren't pressuring, your partner but then you, were like let's go,

959
00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 4: on runs let's, do this let's, Do that and you

960
00:45:09,920 --> 00:45:11,920
Speaker 4: just kept, reiterating, like oh he wants you to like just

961
00:45:11,920 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 4: go to, the movies and you're, like, no, no, NO

962
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:14,800
Speaker 4: no i want to go, DO this i want to,

963
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 4: GO exercise i want to. Do this he seemed like

964
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:18,759
Speaker 4: a burden, to you and you made him feel like.

965
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 4: A burden i'm not saying that's, the scenario but what

966
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 4: we got earlier in the story Again when, opie, said

967
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:26,200
Speaker 4: oh we don't have the same. Interest anymore maybe he

968
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,840
Speaker 4: just felt. Burnt out it's. A thing it, is burnout

969
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 4: like you get burnt out of working out or you're

970
00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 4: just fatigued from it and it's okay.

971
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 5: To rest but maybe he was just happy where.

972
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 1: HE was i was just mad about being skinny fat

973
00:45:36,760 --> 00:45:39,400
Speaker 1: because you SAID that i. Should be and maybe she

974
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:40,360
Speaker 1: doesn't even realize she.

975
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:43,759
Speaker 4: Did that he was just really Upset that ope progressed

976
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 4: or they did the same amount, of Work but opie's

977
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 4: progress had results and her boyfriend didn't have, any results

978
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 4: and that it probably made him even. FEEL worse I

979
00:45:52,280 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 4: think ope's THINKING like, i never like explicitly like. Pressured

980
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,399
Speaker 4: him IT'S like i was never like telling me needed

981
00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:59,319
Speaker 4: to do it. Or else but, IT'S like, i think

982
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 4: just you being so militant about getting, in shape like

983
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 4: is the pressure in and. Of itself i'm not trying

984
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,360
Speaker 4: to pin this on anyone, just yet BUT like, i

985
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 4: said these are two different people on two different roads

986
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 4: where they like, we met we were, so happy and

987
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 4: then you converged into.

988
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:15,800
Speaker 5: Something different.

989
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 1: It HAPPENS so i never pressured him into getting. IN

990
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: shape i love him, either WAY so i didn't understand

991
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: why he was lying. To me he could have just

992
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 1: said that he didn't want to eat Healthy and i'd

993
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,480
Speaker 1: have been completely okay. With it and he KNOWS that

994
00:46:28,960 --> 00:46:31,200
Speaker 1: i never said a bad thing about, his BODY and

995
00:46:31,239 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 1: i find him white attractive when he is at one

996
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,719
Speaker 1: hundred and eighty or one hundred and ninety. Or whatever

997
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 1: when he, STOPPED exercising i was SAD because i lost,

998
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:43,080
Speaker 1: MY partner i mean. WORKOUT partner i assume do you

999
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,239
Speaker 1: know that activity that you do with your husband since,

1000
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: you've met and that's really special for both. Of you

1001
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:52,799
Speaker 1: that was exercise. To us since, we've met we've. Exercised

1002
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:56,160
Speaker 1: together we've tried lots of sports and fun. Outdoor activities

1003
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,400
Speaker 1: when he started to, REFUSE going i felt like he

1004
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 1: didn't want to spend more time, with ME and i

1005
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:02,440
Speaker 1: was sad about IT because i felt like we were

1006
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 1: losing a big part of. Our relationship i'm not a

1007
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:07,319
Speaker 1: person who likes to relax on, the sofa and he

1008
00:47:07,600 --> 00:47:10,200
Speaker 1: wasn't like. That, either again one of the things that

1009
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:12,200
Speaker 1: made us fall in love with each other was the

1010
00:47:12,239 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 1: fact that he was really active and had lots. Of

1011
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 1: energy he KNOWS that i HATE, watching tv, for example

1012
00:47:19,239 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 1: and he was like. That too so the change was

1013
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 1: strange and left. Me CONFUSED then i lost weight until

1014
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,520
Speaker 1: one twenty five because of, the breakup Not because, i'm

1015
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,720
Speaker 1: anorexic for, F's sake i'm now in a. BULKING phase

1016
00:47:33,200 --> 00:47:35,200
Speaker 1: i just had trouble EATING because i was really sad

1017
00:47:35,239 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 1: about breaking up with him and. Our separation we've been

1018
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:41,480
Speaker 1: dating for a, long time four years, almost FIVE and

1019
00:47:41,520 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 1: i feel lost. Without him i've been crying a LOT

1020
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:47,760
Speaker 1: and i used exercise to make me think of. Other

1021
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 1: things oh, my god five years? Over that why did you?

1022
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:53,719
Speaker 1: Do that there's got to be more. Than that right?

1023
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,080
Speaker 1: FIVE years i was, thinking, like oh they've probably dated

1024
00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 1: less than. A year five years you've been with this

1025
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 1: guy and you broke up with him because he was

1026
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: eating cheap meals. BEHIND you i know that throwing the

1027
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 1: food away. IS cringe i know him lying to you is.

1028
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 1: Not good he was cheating, On, her yeah he was

1029
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 1: cheat mealing. ON her i.

1030
00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 4: Guarantee you he just felt like, a burden like your.

1031
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 4: LIFESTYLE was i want to go back to the way,

1032
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:17,319
Speaker 4: we were and, He's like i'm happy with what we. Are,

1033
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 4: now yes we wanted to work out and get. Healthy

1034
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:22,440
Speaker 4: AGAIN but I think opi went back into the that

1035
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:25,399
Speaker 4: old mindset of like full. ON grind i want let

1036
00:48:25,440 --> 00:48:29,279
Speaker 4: what we, were before and you can't. Have that it

1037
00:48:29,320 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 4: seems like his mentality, is, Like no i'm in, the

1038
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 4: present and, Seems like ohpi's mine is more so in

1039
00:48:34,640 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 4: the past.

1040
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:38,000
Speaker 1: FOR sure a crazy thing to break, up over like on,

1041
00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:42,480
Speaker 1: the spot not, Even, elaborations okay let's. Keep GOING when

1042
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 1: i NOTICED that i, WAS underweight i immediately forced myself.

1043
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:47,600
Speaker 1: TO eat i don't want to. BE skinny i want to.

1044
00:48:47,640 --> 00:48:50,480
Speaker 1: Be FIT so i thank you for all, the CONCERNS

1045
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,920
Speaker 1: but i guarantee You that i'm, not INTERAREXIC that i

1046
00:48:52,960 --> 00:48:54,920
Speaker 1: don't want to be one hundred and. Twenty five my

1047
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,440
Speaker 1: goal weight is one, thirty five JUST like i was

1048
00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 1: in the past at the peak of my fitness. And

1049
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,799
Speaker 1: health and at one, Thirty five i'm not underweight as

1050
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 1: some of. You said it's a healthy weight. For me

1051
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:06,799
Speaker 1: i'm all. FOR health i wouldn't aim for anything that would.

1052
00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:09,920
Speaker 1: Be unhealthy That's why i'm gaining weight. Right now i'm

1053
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 1: very careful with. My, health finally about telling people in, the,

1054
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,680
Speaker 1: city well he decided to talk about our breakup with

1055
00:49:16,719 --> 00:49:19,000
Speaker 1: his friends and they were the ones who started. Telling

1056
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:22,360
Speaker 1: everyone as this is a small town and his friends didn't,

1057
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 1: like me they decided to SAY that i was looking

1058
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:27,000
Speaker 1: for a health guru and a man, with abs And

1059
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:29,560
Speaker 1: that i'm a shallow witch. To everyone as they are

1060
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:32,799
Speaker 1: Locals and. I'm not everyone. Believes them it was not

1061
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,439
Speaker 1: him that told. The PEOPLE when i made the, FIRST

1062
00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 1: post i thought it was him that was talking about

1063
00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,360
Speaker 1: our breakup, with everyone but he told me that he didn't,

1064
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:42,440
Speaker 1: do that and the ones who did were, his friends

1065
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,840
Speaker 1: and he's angry with them because. OF it i. Was,

1066
00:49:44,880 --> 00:49:48,520
Speaker 1: WRONG fortunately i have, no family and the FEW friends

1067
00:49:48,560 --> 00:49:51,840
Speaker 1: i have here are his close, friends too so they stood.

1068
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 1: By him can't. Fault them they know him better than they.

1069
00:49:54,760 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 1: Know me i'm kind of shy. And quiet so, we

1070
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 1: talked and he told me that he was concerned, about

1071
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:01,760
Speaker 1: me and one wanted me to see a doctor because

1072
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: of my recent. WEIGHT loss i EXPLAINED that i was

1073
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 1: trying to, gain WEIGHT that i didn't want to be one,

1074
00:50:06,840 --> 00:50:10,080
Speaker 1: twenty FIVE and i just lost weight because we were

1075
00:50:10,080 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 1: on bad terms and it hurt me. That much he

1076
00:50:12,680 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: then explained to me that he wasn't the one who

1077
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 1: told other people about, the breakup that it was the

1078
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:20,720
Speaker 1: friends and he was disappointed. With them he also said

1079
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:23,040
Speaker 1: that he wanted to get in shape but couldn't resist.

1080
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: Fast food he'd been eating it daily at lunch and

1081
00:50:25,640 --> 00:50:28,320
Speaker 1: was ashamed of not being able to resist. THE temptations

1082
00:50:28,640 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 1: i told him that he didn't need to eat healthy

1083
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 1: if he didn't, Want to i'd be totally okay, with

1084
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 1: IT and i just wished that he could communicate with

1085
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:38,839
Speaker 1: me and tell me about. HIS fears i APOLOGIZED if

1086
00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:41,479
Speaker 1: i ever came across as a shallow person or someone

1087
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 1: who wouldn't listen. TO it i loved him a lot

1088
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 1: and didn't want to lose him over such a minor

1089
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 1: and unimportant thing is. Fast food he then confessed that

1090
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:53,880
Speaker 1: he decided not to, exercise more even though it was

1091
00:50:53,920 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 1: hard for him as he. Loved it he decided to

1092
00:50:56,600 --> 00:51:00,239
Speaker 1: stop because he was ashamed of not being able to this,

1093
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:03,000
Speaker 1: fast food and he wanted me to be lazy, like

1094
00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 1: him so we would be equals, that way which is

1095
00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:08,719
Speaker 1: also an extremely toxic way. To think he said that

1096
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:11,960
Speaker 1: now we would continue to exercise as we've, always done

1097
00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:15,120
Speaker 1: and he wouldn't try to hide eating, fast food nor

1098
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,879
Speaker 1: would he throw the. FOOD away i ended up breaking

1099
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: up with him, that night and now we are. Together

1100
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:23,600
Speaker 1: again communicating was very good, for US and i hope

1101
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 1: that in the future we will remember this lesson and

1102
00:51:27,120 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: learn to continue to communicate and be honest with. Each,

1103
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 1: other yeah.

1104
00:51:30,719 --> 00:51:35,440
Speaker 4: It's crazy he was feeling away and, felt ashamed and

1105
00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:39,680
Speaker 4: you were feeling away and definitely on him, For SURE

1106
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:41,319
Speaker 4: but i think it was again a little bit.

1107
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:44,279
Speaker 1: Of, pressure yeah you. Little goobers just need to learn

1108
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:47,719
Speaker 1: how to. HAVE dialogue i love him. A lot i

1109
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 1: can't imagine a. Better person he, is, kind, compassionate, nice

1110
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:53,680
Speaker 1: smart and we share the. Same interests we. Are compatible

1111
00:51:54,160 --> 00:51:56,279
Speaker 1: he is my, dream MAN everything i could. Wish For

1112
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:58,319
Speaker 1: and i'm SORRY if i misrepresented him in the. FIRST

1113
00:51:58,400 --> 00:52:02,319
Speaker 1: post i HOPE that i could explain. Everything again thank you.

1114
00:52:02,360 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 1: Read it everything is fine right now and, we're happy

1115
00:52:04,640 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: and there's. An edit i'm. FEELING shifty i just felt

1116
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:09,480
Speaker 1: so weird to me that it's like he's my, dream

1117
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:12,040
Speaker 1: man is my. True love like, We're compatible we're fully,

1118
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,319
Speaker 1: Of this we're, Fully that and it's like you would

1119
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 1: literally just before have, been like we're. Completely incompatible we've lost.

1120
00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 1: Our ways he's a completely. Different person and, For that

1121
00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 1: i'm out very.

1122
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 4: Wishy WASHY but i think it was just like a

1123
00:52:24,360 --> 00:52:27,239
Speaker 4: lot of underlying layers that no one.

1124
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:29,279
Speaker 1: Talked about you, KNOW what i bet you. IT was

1125
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,200
Speaker 1: i bet you was because she thought he was. Talking

1126
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,760
Speaker 1: smack she thought he was the one going around running

1127
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 1: around talking smack on. Their relationship if that, WAS me

1128
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 1: i would also, be, like yeah you, know what we

1129
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:45,279
Speaker 1: are uncompatible and nothing about this guy even lines up,

1130
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 1: with me and you, know what this guy freaking and

1131
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,880
Speaker 1: he can be, lazy FOREVER like i would probably be

1132
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,479
Speaker 1: UPSET if, i thought but now we know. The truth

1133
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 1: he's just got lame friends. For you but in the context,

1134
00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 1: of him those friends are, good friends but they're not

1135
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 1: going about it the. Right way and there is. An.

1136
00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,799
Speaker 1: Edit okay he never, controlled me, my CLOTHES where i,

1137
00:53:04,880 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 1: was going or THE people i. Talked to he is

1138
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:10,360
Speaker 1: not the. Jealous type he has never done. Anything physical

1139
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:14,399
Speaker 1: he's never forced me to do the spicy TANGO when

1140
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:16,719
Speaker 1: i wasn't in. The mood he never did anything. Like

1141
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,080
Speaker 1: that this was the first time he lied, to me

1142
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,400
Speaker 1: and he promised he wouldn't. Do. It twice he tried

1143
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:25,200
Speaker 1: not to fall in love, with me but was unable

1144
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,799
Speaker 1: to resist because he loved me. Too much why is?

1145
00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:31,799
Speaker 1: That bad why is The sentence he could have any

1146
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,359
Speaker 1: girl that he wanted and he chose me bad? For

1147
00:53:34,440 --> 00:53:36,799
Speaker 1: YOU am i? Not enough WHAT have i done to

1148
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,160
Speaker 1: make you so angry? WITH me I know i'm immature.

1149
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 1: AND dumb, i know but several people are and they

1150
00:53:41,640 --> 00:53:44,200
Speaker 1: are not as CRITICIZED as. I was i think this

1151
00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 1: is ope addressing commenters, being like, you know what? Shut

1152
00:53:48,520 --> 00:53:51,360
Speaker 1: UP when i wrote the, first post everyone accused me

1153
00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:54,400
Speaker 1: of having an, eating disorder, being shallow masking, the situation

1154
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 1: lying about, what happened and. Manipulating him now he's the

1155
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:01,719
Speaker 1: one who is accused it of manipulating me and being. A,

1156
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:04,520
Speaker 1: diddler yes someone said that about him in a, private

1157
00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:07,280
Speaker 1: message of taking advantage. Of me why does EVERY post

1158
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:10,920
Speaker 1: i make generate such a? Hate wave, i'm. Tired boss

1159
00:54:11,360 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 1: the comments page was even harder to read than the,

1160
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:16,560
Speaker 1: first one and it's really hurtful that everyone is saying

1161
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:19,520
Speaker 1: such bad things about. MY relationship i thank you all

1162
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 1: for your advice and. Kind words some of you were,

1163
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:24,840
Speaker 1: really KIND and i can't thank, you ENOUGH but i

1164
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 1: wanted to let you know that some of your words,

1165
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: really hurt Really and i'm weak and this was. Too

1166
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:32,600
Speaker 1: much i've been reading this with my boyfriend and he is.

1167
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 1: SO hurt i can only cry. For him he didn't. Deserve, this,

1168
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 1: guys hello take, your computer. Close it you don't have

1169
00:54:40,280 --> 00:54:42,600
Speaker 1: to read every comment On the. Reddit post if it's making,

1170
00:54:42,600 --> 00:54:45,719
Speaker 1: you upset you don't have to do. This anymore just

1171
00:54:45,800 --> 00:54:49,160
Speaker 1: like how if you stop watching, this show you can

1172
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:53,520
Speaker 1: always listen to full episodes with stories, like this and

1173
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,440
Speaker 1: you can listen to Them, On spotify apple podcast or

1174
00:54:56,440 --> 00:54:59,040
Speaker 1: wherever you get your. Podcasts from Just search. Okay storytime

1175
00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 1: all you have to do Is search. Okay storytime but

1176
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:06,440
Speaker 1: we do have some story, Left, here keon do we

1177
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,040
Speaker 1: have anything else talk? ABOUT here i just really.

1178
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:10,400
Speaker 5: Don't understand how you date for.

1179
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 4: Five years you're so in love and this is like

1180
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 4: the man of, your dreams and then you catch him

1181
00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 4: eating a cookie and he lied to you, about it

1182
00:55:18,239 --> 00:55:19,759
Speaker 4: and this is like the only time he's lied, to

1183
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:23,359
Speaker 4: you and you really just jump it to. WE'RE done

1184
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:26,279
Speaker 4: i don't understand how that without having even like a.

1185
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 4: Remote conversation maybe it was just the heat of the

1186
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 4: moment kind, of thing but even then, it's, like whoa

1187
00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,759
Speaker 4: that was. Really QUICK but i, THINK overall i mean

1188
00:55:34,840 --> 00:55:36,600
Speaker 4: great that you guys, are happy and you guys are

1189
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:38,959
Speaker 4: going to work out and, you know live the lives

1190
00:55:38,960 --> 00:55:40,840
Speaker 4: that you want. TO live i just Hope that opie

1191
00:55:40,840 --> 00:55:43,520
Speaker 4: doesn't have that MINDSET of i want to just be my.

1192
00:55:43,719 --> 00:55:46,520
Speaker 4: Past self that's not who. You are you are your,

1193
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 4: presence self and then you can do that for. The

1194
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,680
Speaker 4: future you can at least have some ideals from the

1195
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:54,600
Speaker 4: past and work on, the future especially with. Your partner

1196
00:55:54,880 --> 00:55:57,160
Speaker 4: you want to do it together and not leave.

1197
00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:00,160
Speaker 1: Each other well spoken, my friend so he knew who

1198
00:56:00,239 --> 00:56:02,959
Speaker 1: about the backlash that both of us would or, will

1199
00:56:02,960 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: suffer and we've been suffering from it. Ever since but

1200
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:09,080
Speaker 1: this situation was the worst of. Them all he feels

1201
00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:12,920
Speaker 1: disappointed with his friends for telling everybody about something he

1202
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:16,799
Speaker 1: ranted about in secret. With them feels tired because of,

1203
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:19,719
Speaker 1: the breakup and sad because of. THE comments i won't

1204
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,439
Speaker 1: ever apologize to him enough for what he read. About

1205
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 1: him he didn't. Deserve it that's the. FINAL explanation i

1206
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:29,920
Speaker 1: don't think there's anything more. To add and there are

1207
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:33,440
Speaker 1: some comments comment one and he wanted me to be

1208
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,120
Speaker 1: lazy as him because we would be equals. That way,

1209
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:38,439
Speaker 1: In honesty now that you're back, WITH him i would

1210
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:41,400
Speaker 1: be very cautious. About this this is not the mentality

1211
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 1: of someone who cares. About you that's the mentality of

1212
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:46,239
Speaker 1: someone who wants you down in the mud. With them

1213
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:50,040
Speaker 1: it's really the exact same mentality as. Op though this isn't.

1214
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 1: About way it's about the fact that, people change and

1215
00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:54,040
Speaker 1: he's changing in a way that you don't want to

1216
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:57,480
Speaker 1: five years at your age is a, long time but

1217
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,720
Speaker 1: please make sure to keep your sights on the things.

1218
00:57:00,320 --> 00:57:03,680
Speaker 1: In life, comment two quoting he, is, kind compassionate, Night

1219
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 1: smart we share the same interest and. We're compatible he's my,

1220
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:08,799
Speaker 1: dream MAN everything i could. Wish For and i'm SORRY

1221
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:11,879
Speaker 1: if i misrepresented him in my. First post this kind

1222
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:15,879
Speaker 1: of sounds like he replaced you and posted this. For you,

1223
00:57:15,960 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 1: but okay please try and get your own friend group in.

1224
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 1: This city do not be dependent on, this guy especially

1225
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 1: as you apparently started dating him when you were sixteen

1226
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 1: and he was. Twenty two well that changes only the. Entire, Story,

1227
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:34,680
Speaker 1: okay well? Almost done, Comment three so what is his

1228
00:57:34,720 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 1: plan for his friends that have been dragging your name through?

1229
00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:39,440
Speaker 1: The dirt he's disappointed, in them but he is he

1230
00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:42,200
Speaker 1: actually going to take? Any action, if not that is

1231
00:57:42,240 --> 00:57:45,960
Speaker 1: a pretty terrible new start to. The relationship you say everything's,

1232
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 1: fine now but it doesn't really sound. Like it all

1233
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 1: his friends dislike you and have been talking crap, about

1234
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:53,240
Speaker 1: you and you don't have any of your. Own friends

1235
00:57:53,280 --> 00:57:56,720
Speaker 1: it still seems like a pretty. Bad situation what happens?

1236
00:57:56,720 --> 00:57:58,800
Speaker 1: Next time if you guys go through a? Rough patch?

1237
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:01,479
Speaker 1: More crap talking and you losing all your friends again

1238
00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:04,840
Speaker 1: doesn't leave you in the, Best position, opie replies he's

1239
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:07,920
Speaker 1: so sad. About it they. DISAPPOINTED him i don't think

1240
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 1: it's fair to make him think about it when he

1241
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:13,960
Speaker 1: already blames himself for talking to them. So much they'll

1242
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:16,440
Speaker 1: think about it when he. WAKES up i think alment

1243
00:58:16,640 --> 00:58:19,880
Speaker 1: was down voted thirty. FIVE times I think reddit really

1244
00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:21,840
Speaker 1: let you have it on, that one op because that's

1245
00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:22,160
Speaker 1: the end of.

1246
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:25,800
Speaker 4: That STORY like i, said earlier they diverged as long

1247
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,240
Speaker 4: as they can be mutual on everything and. Can agree

1248
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 4: not that my personality is just sitting on the couch

1249
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 4: and just.

1250
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:33,720
Speaker 5: Hanging out my personality is just.

1251
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 4: Working out as long as you guys can have a

1252
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 4: median of, you know doing both of those things together

1253
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:44,360
Speaker 4: and not, you know leaving one behind or dragging. One

1254
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:47,960
Speaker 4: back is somewhere you can, manage it especially for five

1255
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 4: years of, you know. Being together THAT'S what. I, think.

1256
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:54,240
Speaker 1: Hey, it's sam we'll get back to. The stories but

1257
00:58:54,320 --> 00:58:57,360
Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from. OUR sponsors i call that.

1258
00:58:57,520 --> 00:59:00,560
Speaker 3: My boyfriend's sister in. Law's flirting the whole family?

1259
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 1: Isn't chaos oh all over some harmless flirting between.

1260
00:59:05,920 --> 00:59:09,640
Speaker 3: In laws my thirty female boyfriend twenty nine male has

1261
00:59:09,680 --> 00:59:12,160
Speaker 3: an odd relationship with soon to be sister. In law

1262
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 3: it's causing. Major issues how do we? Solve this my

1263
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 3: BOYFRIEND and i have been together almost one and a.

1264
00:59:18,760 --> 00:59:21,840
Speaker 3: Half years this is the Best relationship i've ever. Been

1265
00:59:21,880 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 3: in he's a great person and we have no issues

1266
00:59:24,760 --> 00:59:28,320
Speaker 3: except for his. Brother's FIANCE when i first, MET her

1267
00:59:28,360 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 3: i really wanted for us to be, great friends but

1268
00:59:30,960 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 3: that hasn't been. The, case so by, the way this

1269
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:34,880
Speaker 3: Comes From harry carry and if you want to smit your,

1270
00:59:34,880 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 3: own stories go to our slash. Showcase storytime subret it

1271
00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 3: so literally the FIRST time i, met her she was wearing,

1272
00:59:41,360 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 3: a romper came out of, the, bathroom specifically went to

1273
00:59:44,440 --> 00:59:47,680
Speaker 3: my boyfriend to zip, her up but, To, NECK. HEY

1274
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:50,400
Speaker 3: whoa i thought it, was odd but we, just MET

1275
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 3: so i didn't trip. On IT before i had. Met

1276
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 3: her he described her as his relationship advisor and that

1277
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:59,160
Speaker 3: he told her about me and how excited he was about.

1278
00:59:59,160 --> 01:00:02,560
Speaker 3: Our relationship but Each time i've seen her almost weekly

1279
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:03,920
Speaker 3: in the one and, half years she's made.

1280
01:00:04,000 --> 01:00:07,320
Speaker 1: Me uncomfortable it's a long time for someone to make.

1281
01:00:07,400 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 1: You uncomfortable consistently.

1282
01:00:09,480 --> 01:00:12,280
Speaker 3: She'll pull him away to talk one. On one she touches,

1283
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,560
Speaker 3: him regularly has little, inside JOKES so i just sit

1284
01:00:15,600 --> 01:00:18,479
Speaker 3: there like, an idiot makes silly voices, to him makes

1285
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:21,840
Speaker 3: weird double entendre jokes. To him sometimes she'll be super nice,

1286
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:23,880
Speaker 3: to me and sometimes she just straight up. IGNORES me

1287
01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:27,400
Speaker 3: i never know Which version, i'll GET so i always act,

1288
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 3: super friendly but. It's exhausting one of the LAST times i,

1289
01:00:30,880 --> 01:00:34,120
Speaker 3: saw her she was, bringing friendly but did take the opportunity,

1290
01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:37,760
Speaker 3: to say, you know before you and your boyfriend, started

1291
01:00:37,840 --> 01:00:40,920
Speaker 3: dating we talked every day about all kinds. Of things

1292
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:44,440
Speaker 3: we were, best friends so now we don't talk as.

1293
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:47,320
Speaker 3: Much anymore in, the beginning he seemed oblivious to how

1294
01:00:47,320 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 3: inappropriate she acts. TOWARDS him i pointed out several times

1295
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,080
Speaker 3: and got to the POINT where i, told him if

1296
01:00:53,080 --> 01:00:55,960
Speaker 3: he doesn't shut down her, Weird touching i'm either walking

1297
01:00:56,000 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 3: away or Leaving because. I'm uncomfortable issues with her have

1298
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:03,400
Speaker 3: literally been our only relationship drama the. Entire time we

1299
01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 3: have never thought about anything, else since making. HIM aware

1300
01:01:06,920 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 3: a lot of times when she starts touching him randomly

1301
01:01:09,240 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 3: or trying to pull. Him away, he'll resist go, somewhere

1302
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:14,360
Speaker 3: else whatever the case, may be but we seem to

1303
01:01:14,400 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 3: have an argument after each time we see. Each, other

1304
01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 3: yesterday she and the brother received an invite from a

1305
01:01:18,800 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 3: mutual friend to see some. Live music she was, mostly,

1306
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:25,640
Speaker 3: fine friendly, et cetera but she chose the seat, beside

1307
01:01:25,720 --> 01:01:27,520
Speaker 3: HIM so i had to sit a couple friends away

1308
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 3: from him and was wiping, his face touching his face

1309
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 3: where he missed, his spot shaving weird stuff. Like that

1310
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:35,720
Speaker 3: at ONE point i just walked away and chatted with

1311
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:38,640
Speaker 3: mutual friends after. WE left i expressed to my BOYFRIEND

1312
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 3: that I feel i can't talk to him about my

1313
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:43,439
Speaker 3: concerns with her because he gets so frustrated and says

1314
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:45,600
Speaker 3: she's always been. That way they've known each other for,

1315
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:49,240
Speaker 3: five years she'll be his sister. Soon whatever he's doing

1316
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:50,960
Speaker 3: his best to keep her, in check but she does

1317
01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:53,360
Speaker 3: seem to come out of nowhere with her touching and

1318
01:01:53,400 --> 01:01:56,400
Speaker 3: her snide comments to me that maybe only another woman

1319
01:01:56,480 --> 01:01:59,480
Speaker 3: could understand the Rudeness behind it turned into a loud

1320
01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:02,760
Speaker 3: fight the likes of which we've. Never had he's super.

1321
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 3: Apologetic today he made a hurtful comment in the heat of,

1322
01:02:06,160 --> 01:02:07,920
Speaker 3: the Moment and I'M sure i did to at a

1323
01:02:07,920 --> 01:02:10,880
Speaker 3: pure frustration with. This SITUATION though i don't. Like her

1324
01:02:11,040 --> 01:02:13,000
Speaker 3: knowing that we'll both hopefully be part of the, FAMILY

1325
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:15,320
Speaker 3: soon i know we need to sort out. These issues

1326
01:02:15,560 --> 01:02:18,120
Speaker 3: how do we go about? Doing this i've thought about

1327
01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:20,880
Speaker 3: going out for drinks with her and explaining my situation

1328
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:22,880
Speaker 3: so she can't play dumb to how she makes. Me

1329
01:02:22,920 --> 01:02:26,000
Speaker 3: uncomfortable he thinks he should talk to, her solo but

1330
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:28,240
Speaker 3: that FEELS like i can't handle my own issues and

1331
01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:31,040
Speaker 3: would create more weirdness between the two. OF us i

1332
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 3: absolutely love and want to marry him and really want

1333
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:37,520
Speaker 3: this to resolve so our relationship continue. To. Flourish edit

1334
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:41,000
Speaker 3: my last relationship before this one, was awful, cheated on

1335
01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:44,480
Speaker 3: verbal and. Physically mistreated i'm incredibly grateful to have the

1336
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:46,120
Speaker 3: GOOD man i. Have now it took me a lot

1337
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:48,320
Speaker 3: of work to GET where i, am emotionally to be able,

1338
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:52,320
Speaker 3: to trust control my anger, and. Arguments etc just because

1339
01:02:52,360 --> 01:02:54,280
Speaker 3: of the last one that was so awful and change.

1340
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:56,640
Speaker 3: MY personality i don't want to see bits of the old,

1341
01:02:56,680 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 3: me ANYMORE but i see little bits when we argue,

1342
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:01,960
Speaker 3: about HER and i hate that but there is. AN update,

1343
01:03:02,200 --> 01:03:04,480
Speaker 3: i mean it's good that, you're aware but your partner

1344
01:03:04,560 --> 01:03:07,040
Speaker 3: is being disrespectful and he needs to shut it down

1345
01:03:07,080 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 3: a little.

1346
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:11,080
Speaker 1: BIT more i want to know where the Talk between

1347
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 1: ope's partner and her partner's.

1348
01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:17,040
Speaker 3: Brother, is YEAH if i were, The brother i'd, be

1349
01:03:17,040 --> 01:03:17,919
Speaker 3: going that's.

1350
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:22,640
Speaker 1: Kinda weird your future wife is like touching on me.

1351
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 1: And stuff she's trying to do a weird touch. WITH

1352
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 1: me i. Don't know it's going on.

1353
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:28,560
Speaker 3: Weird touch things she does. With you she still have, Me, too.

1354
01:03:28,520 --> 01:03:30,880
Speaker 1: Yeah you know that part how she does when she,

1355
01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 1: touches you because you're. Her partner she's touching me. Like.

1356
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:37,000
Speaker 3: That, brother yeah have. A conversation i think having a

1357
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:41,120
Speaker 3: conversation with the girl probably. HOPEFULLY helpful i.

1358
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,360
Speaker 1: DON'T know i really don't think that that's gonna, get

1359
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:46,200
Speaker 1: anywhere because if it sounds like she'll, just deny she'll just,

1360
01:03:46,200 --> 01:03:47,320
Speaker 1: BE like i don't.

1361
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:50,280
Speaker 3: Know what you're. Talking about that's so weird that you're.

1362
01:03:50,520 --> 01:03:54,400
Speaker 3: SO insecure i. Don't understand let's find out what this

1363
01:03:54,520 --> 01:03:56,760
Speaker 3: update has. In store this is my update from my

1364
01:03:56,840 --> 01:04:01,440
Speaker 3: Last post. FRIDAY evening i to a female. Family gathering

1365
01:04:01,560 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 3: future sister in law. Was there she avoided me the.

1366
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:07,040
Speaker 3: ENTIRE time i want nothing more than to get past

1367
01:04:07,040 --> 01:04:09,080
Speaker 3: this and, move on but was sort of following her

1368
01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:11,680
Speaker 3: lead and left. Her alone she texted asking if we.

1369
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:14,320
Speaker 3: COULD talk i. Said sure, she said my boyfriend told.

1370
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:16,840
Speaker 3: HIS brother i wrote. The text he never. Said that

1371
01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:19,439
Speaker 3: she clearly didn't believe me and kept trying to find

1372
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:21,440
Speaker 3: ways to. PROVE that i wrote IT that i said

1373
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:23,520
Speaker 3: no more family gatherings and we don't want to go

1374
01:04:23,560 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 3: to their WEDDINGS because i, hate her that all hate

1375
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:28,040
Speaker 3: any future child. They have because it came out. OF

1376
01:04:28,040 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 3: her i was absolutely SHOCKED because i never said any,

1377
01:04:31,520 --> 01:04:33,440
Speaker 3: of THIS and i know my boyfriend never said any

1378
01:04:33,480 --> 01:04:36,120
Speaker 3: of these. Things either so his brother is making up

1379
01:04:36,160 --> 01:04:39,840
Speaker 3: these cruel lies for some. Unknown reason it's either her or.

1380
01:04:39,880 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 3: The brother if, it's her it's because she's jealous AND

1381
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:45,480
Speaker 3: she's i, don't know trying to like ruin, this relationship

1382
01:04:45,760 --> 01:04:50,040
Speaker 3: or it's the brother and he WANTS to i don't know.

1383
01:04:50,320 --> 01:04:52,880
Speaker 1: See exactly that's why, IT'S like i can't find a

1384
01:04:53,000 --> 01:04:54,160
Speaker 1: single reason why he would.

1385
01:04:54,200 --> 01:04:56,520
Speaker 3: Do that she said how awful her, family is and

1386
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:58,520
Speaker 3: all she wanted was to make me, feel included And

1387
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:01,040
Speaker 3: now i've stapped her on. The back she demanded. AN

1388
01:05:01,040 --> 01:05:04,360
Speaker 3: apology i refused and told her do have a, good night.

1389
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:06,520
Speaker 3: And left that's how you. Do it if you're talking,

1390
01:05:06,520 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 3: to crazy you.

1391
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:10,000
Speaker 1: Just, leave yeah you can't argue. With crazy you just

1392
01:05:10,000 --> 01:05:12,439
Speaker 1: got to say uh, huh okay bye bye now.

1393
01:05:12,640 --> 01:05:15,240
Speaker 3: Bye, bye sunday we go to the parents' house. For

1394
01:05:15,240 --> 01:05:19,600
Speaker 3: dinner all of us. Were there things were. Fairly standoffish at,

1395
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:21,800
Speaker 3: ONE point i was inside with future sister in law

1396
01:05:21,840 --> 01:05:24,600
Speaker 3: and the dad making light. Small talk their mom grabs

1397
01:05:24,640 --> 01:05:26,240
Speaker 3: me and future sister in law to speak in a.

1398
01:05:26,240 --> 01:05:28,760
Speaker 3: Back room she's a few, drinks in gets all teary

1399
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:32,160
Speaker 3: eyed that her boys, are intourmoil Basically saying i'm the

1400
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:34,160
Speaker 3: root of all, the ISSUES so i need to get

1401
01:05:34,160 --> 01:05:36,200
Speaker 3: over it because she's not having her family to wind to.

1402
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:39,040
Speaker 3: Pull it my boyfriend loves both of, us equally HA

1403
01:05:39,600 --> 01:05:41,560
Speaker 3: and i need to deal with that because they've known

1404
01:05:41,640 --> 01:05:44,280
Speaker 3: each other, five years far longer than we've been together

1405
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:46,760
Speaker 3: one and a. Half, years wait the girl is Saying

1406
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:50,160
Speaker 3: that opie's boyfriend loves both of. THEM equally i.

1407
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 1: Think that Was what opie's. Mom said ohpie's boyfriend's mom is,

1408
01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:58,360
Speaker 1: being like. It's fine he loves you and his brother's

1409
01:05:58,400 --> 01:06:01,000
Speaker 1: fiance the, same amount.

1410
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:00,920
Speaker 3: But she's the.

1411
01:06:01,160 --> 01:06:04,480
Speaker 1: Normal thing we should say it's normal and.

1412
01:06:04,640 --> 01:06:08,360
Speaker 3: Not weird that touching, is normal that is not a.

1413
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,800
Speaker 1: Weird touch you take that back.

1414
01:06:11,160 --> 01:06:14,200
Speaker 3: RIGHT now i can't come in and try to dissolve

1415
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:17,640
Speaker 3: all female relationships in. His life she left and Future

1416
01:06:17,680 --> 01:06:20,240
Speaker 3: SISTER alana i were, talking CALMLY and i was expressing

1417
01:06:20,240 --> 01:06:23,080
Speaker 3: clearly that there was miscommunication between the boys that seemed

1418
01:06:23,120 --> 01:06:26,040
Speaker 3: to be ramping. This up. She agreed, SHE'S.

1419
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:29,200
Speaker 1: Like i don't know, what's happening but things are getting a.

1420
01:06:29,240 --> 01:06:32,400
Speaker 3: Lot weirder then we hear screaming from the, living room,

1421
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:34,640
Speaker 3: glass breaking so we go out there and that's when

1422
01:06:34,680 --> 01:06:37,800
Speaker 3: all the real. Drama starts the brother kept pointing at

1423
01:06:37,800 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 3: me with a legit unaliving look in, his eyes calling

1424
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:43,800
Speaker 3: me a manipulative bee and a, psychotic bully all kinds.

1425
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:46,600
Speaker 3: Of things it was a, screaming match everyone telling each

1426
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,400
Speaker 3: other to, f off and his, mom's, like well you

1427
01:06:48,560 --> 01:06:51,000
Speaker 3: started all of this and now you have nothing to say.

1428
01:06:51,320 --> 01:06:54,840
Speaker 3: Defend herself his, brother's like she's playing. A game she

1429
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:57,840
Speaker 3: manipulated my brother away from, the family so she's sitting

1430
01:06:57,840 --> 01:07:02,400
Speaker 3: there all pleased, with herself the effing dumb. B, yikes.

1431
01:07:01,760 --> 01:07:04,000
Speaker 1: HEY brother i just want to let you know when

1432
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:06,880
Speaker 1: you berate and curse at a woman as, a man

1433
01:07:07,240 --> 01:07:10,600
Speaker 1: he loves a lot of credibility. Right there doesn't.

1434
01:07:10,320 --> 01:07:12,800
Speaker 3: Look good, for. You buddy the mom was trying and

1435
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:15,600
Speaker 3: failing to moderate this because the brother. Kept screaming he

1436
01:07:15,640 --> 01:07:17,920
Speaker 3: was telling her to go, ever self saying any awful

1437
01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:20,680
Speaker 3: thing he could think of. About me he came incredibly

1438
01:07:20,720 --> 01:07:22,320
Speaker 3: close to. MY face i don't know if he wanted

1439
01:07:22,360 --> 01:07:24,760
Speaker 3: to hit me or. Intimidate me my boyfriend pushed him

1440
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:27,520
Speaker 3: away and yelled. At him the brother kept making these

1441
01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:29,280
Speaker 3: moves like he was going to run. At me the

1442
01:07:29,400 --> 01:07:31,680
Speaker 3: future sister law kept holding him back or telling him

1443
01:07:31,680 --> 01:07:31,920
Speaker 3: to take.

1444
01:07:31,920 --> 01:07:35,360
Speaker 1: A walk he. Was furious i'm starting to understand now

1445
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:40,320
Speaker 1: why his fiance is Flirting with, op's man because she's

1446
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:42,919
Speaker 1: probably looking at, him like, Oh, YEAH no i did

1447
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:46,280
Speaker 1: pick the. WRONG brother i picked the beta who tries

1448
01:07:46,320 --> 01:07:50,520
Speaker 1: to like pump fake like. A woman he's Arguing with mom.

1449
01:07:50,360 --> 01:07:52,320
Speaker 3: KEPT saying i need to grow up and deal with.

1450
01:07:52,320 --> 01:07:55,040
Speaker 3: My insecurities kept saying that over. And over at ONE

1451
01:07:55,040 --> 01:07:57,240
Speaker 3: point i asked her to stop calling, me insecure and

1452
01:07:57,240 --> 01:07:59,120
Speaker 3: she said it was the FIRST time i, defended myself

1453
01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:00,880
Speaker 3: and now she respects me a little bit MORE because

1454
01:08:00,920 --> 01:08:01,440
Speaker 3: i stood up.

1455
01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:05,360
Speaker 1: For myself wasn't this whole thing her defending herself that's?

1456
01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:08,200
Speaker 3: So, Funny oh, he's, like hey stop and the, mom's,

1457
01:08:08,240 --> 01:08:09,160
Speaker 3: LIKE oh.

1458
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:11,080
Speaker 1: I didn't know you had game, LIKE. That opi but

1459
01:08:11,240 --> 01:08:13,840
Speaker 1: on a, real LEVEL am i wrong or isn't all

1460
01:08:13,840 --> 01:08:16,200
Speaker 1: of this coming from her trying to? Defend herself it.

1461
01:08:16,240 --> 01:08:18,120
Speaker 3: Absolutely is she, was, LIKE hey i don't like, this

1462
01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:20,280
Speaker 3: attitude and now the mom's like that wasn't. Good enough

1463
01:08:20,280 --> 01:08:23,040
Speaker 3: this went on for, two hours AND because i don't

1464
01:08:23,040 --> 01:08:25,600
Speaker 3: deal with issues by screaming and, NAME callings i. Was

1465
01:08:25,720 --> 01:08:28,040
Speaker 3: frozen my boyfriend was saying a lot to try and

1466
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:30,320
Speaker 3: defend me that they were his concerns and didn't come

1467
01:08:30,360 --> 01:08:32,880
Speaker 3: out of, thin air which riled everyone. Up more it

1468
01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:35,599
Speaker 3: was absolute chaotic Madness that i've never been a part.

1469
01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:37,760
Speaker 3: Of before at, the end their mom tried to laugh

1470
01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:40,519
Speaker 3: off the. Entire thing, she's, like wow that was. A,

1471
01:08:40,560 --> 01:08:43,680
Speaker 3: lot wow we really get up to crazy Things on.

1472
01:08:43,760 --> 01:08:45,200
Speaker 3: Monday night this's.

1473
01:08:45,000 --> 01:08:47,519
Speaker 1: Gonna be such a. Funny story at my book Club,

1474
01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:51,320
Speaker 1: THIS thursday i swear girls are gonna. Love this they're

1475
01:08:51,360 --> 01:08:54,240
Speaker 1: just gonna. Thank you guys are the. Biggest characters they're.

1476
01:08:54,080 --> 01:08:56,559
Speaker 3: Gonna go on bananas at. The end their mom tried

1477
01:08:56,560 --> 01:08:58,240
Speaker 3: to laugh with the. ENTIRE thing i was in total

1478
01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:00,240
Speaker 3: Shock because i've tried so hard to be kind and

1479
01:09:00,280 --> 01:09:03,240
Speaker 3: respectful to the fam and always had a, great relationship

1480
01:09:03,320 --> 01:09:06,200
Speaker 3: especially with. Their MOM so i was. Taken aback my

1481
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:09,000
Speaker 3: boyfriend spoke to his mom the next day canceled all

1482
01:09:09,080 --> 01:09:11,960
Speaker 3: future plans with, the FAM saying i, was attacked it was.

1483
01:09:12,040 --> 01:09:15,280
Speaker 3: Uncalled for he was furious his brother has legit issues

1484
01:09:15,280 --> 01:09:18,920
Speaker 3: and the mom makes excuses after excuse for his absolutely.

1485
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:22,599
Speaker 3: Terrifying behavior but you guys don't have any excuse for

1486
01:09:22,640 --> 01:09:25,200
Speaker 3: not listening to full episodes with stories just. Like this

1487
01:09:25,760 --> 01:09:29,160
Speaker 3: just Go, To Spotify, apple podcasts or your favorite podcast

1488
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:29,479
Speaker 3: app in.

1489
01:09:29,520 --> 01:09:31,639
Speaker 1: Search, up okay, stort time do THAT and i see

1490
01:09:31,640 --> 01:09:33,439
Speaker 1: you there not. Doing it, come on.

1491
01:09:33,640 --> 01:09:36,120
Speaker 3: Be better but there is, a little a teensy little. Bit,

1492
01:09:36,200 --> 01:09:37,519
Speaker 3: Left YEAH and, i.

1493
01:09:37,479 --> 01:09:40,120
Speaker 1: MEAN like i think the path that we've ended up

1494
01:09:40,160 --> 01:09:41,800
Speaker 1: on is the. Right ONE and i really hope that.

1495
01:09:41,720 --> 01:09:44,320
Speaker 3: The sister in law leaves or the future maybe no

1496
01:09:44,400 --> 01:09:45,160
Speaker 3: longer to be sister.

1497
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:47,599
Speaker 1: In law it sounds like that the sister in laws and,

1498
01:09:47,720 --> 01:09:49,080
Speaker 1: the BROTHERS.

1499
01:09:48,680 --> 01:09:50,599
Speaker 3: But i think the sister in law is realizing that

1500
01:09:50,640 --> 01:09:52,479
Speaker 3: her brother in law sucks, a lot and so SHE'S,

1501
01:09:52,520 --> 01:09:53,000
Speaker 3: Like whoa.

1502
01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:55,599
Speaker 1: She's trying to get herself out. OF it i think

1503
01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:57,960
Speaker 1: no future family events sounds like a.

1504
01:09:58,080 --> 01:10:01,360
Speaker 3: Great PLAN good, I yah but there is a little

1505
01:10:01,360 --> 01:10:03,879
Speaker 3: bit more to. THIS story i seriously don't feel comfortable

1506
01:10:03,880 --> 01:10:06,800
Speaker 3: even being near his. Brother again he sounds so close

1507
01:10:06,840 --> 01:10:09,400
Speaker 3: to really, losing It and i'm actually concerned for my

1508
01:10:09,439 --> 01:10:12,559
Speaker 3: safety at. THIS point i thank GOD my bf has

1509
01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:15,880
Speaker 3: the complete, opposite PERSONALITY but i have no clue how

1510
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:17,800
Speaker 3: to move forward. From this as MUCH as i never

1511
01:10:17,840 --> 01:10:19,960
Speaker 3: wanted to see the, BROTHER again i know that's. Not

1512
01:10:20,000 --> 01:10:21,920
Speaker 3: possible i'd be willing to speak to him if he

1513
01:10:21,960 --> 01:10:23,960
Speaker 3: could act more normal, and CALM but i don't even

1514
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:26,880
Speaker 3: know if he's capable of that help and comment one

1515
01:10:27,360 --> 01:10:31,640
Speaker 3: says sounds like brother is projecting. Here absolutely maybe he

1516
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:34,000
Speaker 3: too thought she was highly inappropriate with, your boyfriend and

1517
01:10:34,040 --> 01:10:35,920
Speaker 3: now it's been brought, to light he has to face

1518
01:10:35,960 --> 01:10:38,200
Speaker 3: his feelings and is taking it out on the. Wrong,

1519
01:10:38,240 --> 01:10:40,679
Speaker 3: people also boyfriend's mom sounds like an e. Fing idiot

1520
01:10:40,920 --> 01:10:43,160
Speaker 3: doesn't matter if she's known him for. Thirty years she was.

1521
01:10:43,240 --> 01:10:47,400
Speaker 3: Incredibly inappropriate end. Of discussion you're. His partner doesn't make

1522
01:10:47,439 --> 01:10:49,880
Speaker 3: you insecure because you have boundaries and don't think it's

1523
01:10:49,920 --> 01:10:52,400
Speaker 3: appropriate for someone to act like your. Partner's girlfriend the

1524
01:10:52,439 --> 01:10:54,840
Speaker 3: only way forward is for him to go complete no

1525
01:10:54,960 --> 01:10:55,559
Speaker 3: contact with.

1526
01:10:55,680 --> 01:10:59,439
Speaker 1: His family that's, not true but it's certainly one of

1527
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:02,400
Speaker 1: the simplest ways to. MOVE forward i think there's a

1528
01:11:02,400 --> 01:11:05,280
Speaker 1: path to get back to. SOMETHING there i think it

1529
01:11:05,360 --> 01:11:09,920
Speaker 1: was dead on where it's like now the, brothers realized

1530
01:11:10,040 --> 01:11:13,519
Speaker 1: like it's been, called out and, he's, like yeah my

1531
01:11:13,600 --> 01:11:17,040
Speaker 1: fiance is flirting with my brother and that's way too

1532
01:11:17,120 --> 01:11:19,479
Speaker 1: hard for me to. Come apprehend So instead i'm just

1533
01:11:19,479 --> 01:11:22,639
Speaker 1: gonna get mad at. The, woman oh, he says.

1534
01:11:22,680 --> 01:11:24,719
Speaker 3: Thank you THAT'S how i. Feel too there are sibling

1535
01:11:24,720 --> 01:11:27,320
Speaker 3: relationships and romantic and the lines should. Not blur the

1536
01:11:27,360 --> 01:11:29,640
Speaker 3: fact that everyone is blind to it and making me

1537
01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:33,880
Speaker 3: Feel like i'm crazy. Is unsettling. Unfortunate timing today is my.

1538
01:11:33,960 --> 01:11:36,679
Speaker 3: B day his mom dropped off a card in a present.

1539
01:11:36,680 --> 01:11:38,960
Speaker 3: For me no interest in the present almost feels like

1540
01:11:38,960 --> 01:11:41,840
Speaker 3: an attempt to buy, me off so. To speak absolutely

1541
01:11:41,840 --> 01:11:43,479
Speaker 3: it's an, apology present and don't.

1542
01:11:43,520 --> 01:11:47,000
Speaker 1: Take it hopefully they had your birthday present picked. Out already, they're,

1543
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:49,599
Speaker 1: like ooh not only did we get into, This fight

1544
01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:50,479
Speaker 1: oh we don't have a.

1545
01:11:50,479 --> 01:11:53,880
Speaker 3: Birthday PRESENT now i have to get. A RIGIMVED but

1546
01:11:53,920 --> 01:11:56,640
Speaker 3: i opened the card out. Of curiosity we hope to

1547
01:11:56,680 --> 01:11:59,000
Speaker 3: have better memories with you in. The future this is

1548
01:11:59,040 --> 01:12:02,080
Speaker 3: after spending nearly ever weekend and holiday at, their home

1549
01:12:02,479 --> 01:12:04,640
Speaker 3: missing out on time with my, own family doing my

1550
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:06,880
Speaker 3: best to forge the best RELATIONSHIP possible i can with.

1551
01:12:06,920 --> 01:12:09,880
Speaker 3: His parents what a punt in. The nuts and that

1552
01:12:10,120 --> 01:12:13,680
Speaker 3: is the end of. That story boy, OH boy, i,

1553
01:12:13,720 --> 01:12:15,639
Speaker 3: mean like definitely you should get away from. These family

1554
01:12:15,720 --> 01:12:17,839
Speaker 3: you don't have to ever see. Them again, LOW contact,

1555
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:20,679
Speaker 3: i think or no, contact maybe but that's on your partner.

1556
01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:23,160
Speaker 1: TO decide i think the biggest thing needs to BE

1557
01:12:23,479 --> 01:12:26,080
Speaker 1: which i don't think it'll, Happen NOW but i was

1558
01:12:26,200 --> 01:12:29,759
Speaker 1: wondering why the brother on brother conversation was, not happening

1559
01:12:30,040 --> 01:12:32,640
Speaker 1: and it feels like they probably have a very contentious

1560
01:12:32,680 --> 01:12:34,599
Speaker 1: history or. Relationship there if.

1561
01:12:34,479 --> 01:12:37,120
Speaker 3: This was how, we reacted there's got to be something,

1562
01:12:37,160 --> 01:12:39,799
Speaker 3: Before this like this can't just have been the first thing.

1563
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:43,000
Speaker 1: It's, very unlikely but you know what, is likely that

1564
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:43,920
Speaker 1: this is the end of.

1565
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:44,519
Speaker 3: The story