Speaker 1: Hey, Hello, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with Sydney and Marie.
Speaker 1: Hi, guys, Hello Sidney, what's up?
Speaker 2: How you doing? Oh I'm good. I'm tired. I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you came in real. I want to say cranky, but like,
Speaker 2: I'm not. I'm not a morning person. I'm not listen
Speaker 2: two o'clock that's when i'm my best me. Before that,
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, what are we doing. Let's hurry up
Speaker 2: because I'm tired. What were you doing at two o'clock
Speaker 2: last night? I went to bed, Matt early.
Speaker 1: I'm just tired.
Speaker 2: I'm like a tired person. You know, there's such a
Speaker 2: thing as getting too much sleep, right, Like that's a thing. Well,
Speaker 2: I biked all day yesterday, so I was tired from that.
Speaker 2: So I literally got up early, went to brunch with
Speaker 2: the bike, went to a show with the bike.
Speaker 1: The bike.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, this bike thing is annoying, but it's good.
Speaker 2: I need it because I need the cardio. I mean also,
Speaker 2: your legs, I mean your legs are already good, so
Speaker 2: I can't really see a difference, but.
Speaker 1: They just look like you had good legs before.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I need the cardio. I need to get
Speaker 2: my you had good legs and crappy cardio. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: need to get the blood flowing. I need to make
Speaker 2: sure my legs are not itching. Walk. No, they don't.
Speaker 2: So I'm doing a good job for myself. So some
Speaker 2: of y'all listening might not know this, but like sometimes
Speaker 2: people who are not as active as others, when they
Speaker 2: start to walk or they try to.
Speaker 1: Run, their legs start eaching.
Speaker 2: And that's legit just the blood circulating in your legs.
Speaker 1: Like wait, what we stand and move forward? Mind you?
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I think I have like the
Speaker 2: hives or I feel like I have like a skin
Speaker 2: skin rest. Sydney would be like I didn't put any
Speaker 2: lotion on today, and I'm like, dude, it's inside, it's
Speaker 2: underneath the ash. But now we know that it's because
Speaker 2: you know she won't really be walking you you walk
Speaker 2: to Ubers. Well, no, I'm actually I don't itch anymore
Speaker 2: because I'm being more active. So I'm doing great gay
Speaker 2: stuff for myself. That's beautiful. I'm glad because I would
Speaker 2: walk with you, and remember we try to go to
Speaker 2: the park for a run and you were.
Speaker 1: Like, just go on without me.
Speaker 2: And I was like, it was so sad. And then
Speaker 2: we went to your sister's boot camp on Saturday and
Speaker 2: I could not keep up. I literally felt like I
Speaker 2: was gonna faint. And then all these people in the
Speaker 2: park were like, well, she's the thinnest one.
Speaker 1: Why is she not She looks so in shape, and
Speaker 1: it's like, nah, dude.
Speaker 2: I was doing crunches and I needed like modified everything
Speaker 2: pig her body. I could not. I was like, I
Speaker 2: got a lot of weights, you couldn't crack. I had
Speaker 2: a wig on, so the wig was heavy as well.
Speaker 2: I was working out with a wig. So listen, if
Speaker 2: anybody's interested in coming to the boot camp, it's nine
Speaker 2: am every Saturday at Washington Square Park. Yeah, it's great
Speaker 2: in Manhattan. Don't wear a wig to boot camp. Please
Speaker 2: don't because I feel like that's added weight. It's so
Speaker 2: much weight, not ready to sweat.
Speaker 1: The wig gets heavy.
Speaker 2: And she had a hat on. I had a hat on.
Speaker 2: And then we had to run laps and I was like, oh, eight,
Speaker 2: all eight, and then no that we had to run
Speaker 2: extra because y'all were late. Yeah, that's so fuck that
Speaker 2: boot camp ship. It should be for every man's for itself.
Speaker 2: Like that. Why the whole group gotta suffer because of
Speaker 2: a late bitch. I know they should have made y'all
Speaker 2: run the ten and let me just run a cool eight.
Speaker 2: I said, y'all could leave me, leave it, just leave
Speaker 2: without me, go on with it, go on without me anyway.
Speaker 1: That was that's what we're doing.
Speaker 2: Uh. We were getting our summer bodies right for the fall. Nah,
Speaker 2: my shit's gonna be ready by the winter time. I'm
Speaker 2: gonna have a twelve pack when it's like two degrees outside.
Speaker 1: Watch under a bubble coat. Watch, I'm gonna.
Speaker 2: Have a midriff on and it's gonna be like a
Speaker 2: blizzard going on. You're gonna right underneath my bubble coat.
Speaker 2: It's gonna you know, you're gonna have like a like
Speaker 2: a half bubble coat.
Speaker 1: Like a hood rat.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, a baby fat. I might have a little
Speaker 2: baby fat, a white baby fat with like with the
Speaker 2: for her with the rat horse for like a blend
Speaker 2: with the squirrel, a blend with like some pigeon. Oh man,
Speaker 2: I having like pigeon feathers and duck. Okay, I was like,
Speaker 2: pigeons don't have her. But Sidney, what the hell were
Speaker 2: you an expert in this week. Well, I finally cooked
Speaker 2: for my girlfriend for the first time in three years,
Speaker 2: for the first time, I made lasagna. And now I
Speaker 2: made breakfast, And now what did you make for breakfast?
Speaker 2: I feel like you made peeb and J's or nah, girl,
Speaker 2: I made like a cute little like roasted tomatoes with
Speaker 2: like a garlic and cheese, Like it sounds like blended
Speaker 2: ches tomato and half threw some cheese on top and
Speaker 2: then like threw a garlic at it. But your basic
Speaker 2: basified my ship. Don't make it basic. It was cute
Speaker 2: the season, it was great. I made turkey bacon. I
Speaker 2: put it in the oven, so it was like.
Speaker 1: Dude, just threw everything in the pan and then cooked.
Speaker 2: You're fucking hat, Listen, this is what this is the
Speaker 2: moves that I'm making in a relationship.
Speaker 1: So last night I made tacos.
Speaker 2: I made ground turkey tacos and shredded chicken tacos or whatever,
Speaker 2: and it was so freaking good that I was like,
Speaker 2: these are for her. You said it was so freaking good, Well,
Speaker 2: you have your girlfriend here to talk about. She took
Speaker 2: some for tour. They were good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she does wanted that stuff atter her house.
Speaker 2: No, I bought everything the same day fresh from Key Foods,
Speaker 2: so you know it goes bad the next day, so
Speaker 2: I definitely had to cook everything right away.
Speaker 1: You made soft tacos, hard tacos. I made both.
Speaker 2: She had options and they were the Accouts Ramonts I had. Obviously,
Speaker 2: we had some tomatoes, We had onions, we had lettuce,
Speaker 2: we had shredded cheese, we had sour cream, we had
Speaker 2: hot sauce, mouthed sauce. Dude, what I feel like, tacos
Speaker 2: is a pretty basic thing to make you just to
Speaker 2: shred the girl in relationship with me. I'm just why
Speaker 2: you I'm cutting my ship down. Did you cook the
Speaker 2: ground turkey or I did? Okay, well then that's cooking.
Speaker 2: And I had the season and everything. Okay, all right,
Speaker 2: so uh stand down, let me live. Adrian was very happy,
Speaker 2: but listen, I hate the tacos, and I was like, man,
Speaker 2: I would want to marry me today.
Speaker 1: She better have a ring ready for you. Thuk, Oh
Speaker 1: my god.
Speaker 2: You think Adrian is the one that's gonna propose, It's
Speaker 2: not gonna be you. Honestly, I feel like we're just
Speaker 2: gonna be real regular.
Speaker 1: Y'are both take a knee at the same Who need rings.
Speaker 2: We're in a partnership. You don't need a ring. We
Speaker 2: don't need a man. We don't need a wedding. Who
Speaker 2: needs to do all that ship that's for everybody else.
Speaker 2: So y'all gonna go to the Justice of the peace. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's what we do.
Speaker 1: Probably y'all both canna wear suits pants, suits.
Speaker 2: I'm a come in there with a yoga pant, a
Speaker 2: white yoga pan, a white Lulu Lemon that's disgusting.
Speaker 1: Active wear that's gross.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have white an all white Ivy park a
Speaker 2: little like a veil though, Like, yeah, I'm gonna have
Speaker 2: like a what do they have those parachute pants'mna have
Speaker 2: that on maybe like a little windbreaker jumpsuit thing win suit, Yes, yeah, winsuit.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna wear win suit for my wedding anyway.
Speaker 2: So I do thank you so much for this past week.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about what I was an expert at. I
Speaker 2: was an expert at finding Game of Thrones and not
Speaker 2: having HBO. So I'm not gonna tell y'all what streaming
Speaker 2: service that I use because I don't need y'all to,
Speaker 2: you know, clog up the website. It's ending your business
Speaker 2: sliding my DMS, and I'll tell you what it is.
Speaker 2: So I was an expert at like just finding like
Speaker 2: where to stream that, but also I was an expert
Speaker 2: this week.
Speaker 1: At receiving dick pics.
Speaker 2: Last time you were here, I was like, no one
Speaker 2: ever sends me dick pics. They know better, Like legit,
Speaker 2: three penises are sitting in my DMS right now?
Speaker 1: What no words, just dicks. Oh yeah, that happens to
Speaker 1: me on Facebook a lot.
Speaker 2: And what's crazy is that it'll be like a distinguished
Speaker 2: older man that I'm like, oh, it'll be somebody with
Speaker 2: a salt.
Speaker 1: And pepper haircut, peper puw Yeah. And then I'm like, Yo,
Speaker 1: they don't even that dick, don't even match the profile
Speaker 1: pick that you got going on here.
Speaker 2: Yo, I've been getting I got a dick last night,
Speaker 2: just the dick.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you're not even gonna introduce yourself
Speaker 1: or no good evening, No good evening. Hey, queen peace queen,
Speaker 1: here's a picture of my dick.
Speaker 2: Mee, just hold on. I'm I'm trying to get to
Speaker 2: my d MS because you know, I didn't accept none
Speaker 2: of these requests. Oh, you got to accept him. Oh no, Sydney,
Speaker 2: you don't want to. I don't want to accept any
Speaker 2: of them. Here's one dick, and it's a beige dick.
Speaker 2: I didn't even I didn't even know. That's fucking rude.
Speaker 2: It's still fuzzy because I was like, no, I don't
Speaker 2: want to see it.
Speaker 1: It looked like a puffsicle. Mind you. His name is
Speaker 1: lost in confusion, lost in the confusion. Let me give
Speaker 1: you another dick.
Speaker 2: Hold on at him, somebody at him, lost in confusion,
Speaker 2: in the confusion.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna rate that penis a good old six. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's quite the six point five.
Speaker 2: I'm not here for the dick.
Speaker 1: That dick looked like you don't have no type of job.
Speaker 1: That dick is on his mom's couch right now.
Speaker 2: It looks like a pullout catch. There's another dick. I'm
Speaker 2: not even gonna tap it for you. Oh that's a
Speaker 2: black fla dick. It looks short. It looks short. Also,
Speaker 2: he looked like he got chubby hamed. It looks like
Speaker 2: it needs a ladder or stepping stool. Dude, I don't know,
Speaker 2: but uh, those are the dicks that I got in
Speaker 2: the last couple of days. So I was an expert
Speaker 2: at just you know, being my best Christian self, curving
Speaker 2: dicks and getting uh getting that Game of Thrones dick.
Speaker 2: Well there was no dick in the first episode, but
Speaker 2: you know, oh really, no, I don't remember. I feel
Speaker 2: like that's why everybody watch it because of the dude. No.
Speaker 1: I watched for the dragons.
Speaker 2: Okay, I watched for the dragons and John snow, I
Speaker 2: he does it. That's it. That sounds born. Wow. People
Speaker 2: were running home to go watch fucking Game of Thrones,
Speaker 2: and I was like, I don't get it. I had
Speaker 2: a show and I was like, I didn't realize until
Speaker 2: I left my house said it was Game of Thrones to.
Speaker 1: Day and I was like, damn, I should just tell her.
Speaker 2: I'm sick.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't understand what the big deal is.
Speaker 2: I don't either, but our guess is a pretty big deal.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, such a big deal.
Speaker 2: And we're having a great topic today because I definitely
Speaker 2: need some help on that. I do. I'm not good
Speaker 2: at it.
Speaker 1: Do you know what the topic is?
Speaker 2: Yes? I do, because it's not really what it is
Speaker 2: that you I don't think it is what it's the
Speaker 2: opposite what I think you think it is. Our guest
Speaker 2: today is is a comedian and she's a writer, she's
Speaker 2: an actress. She's our breakup relationship expert and our rebound
Speaker 2: six experts.
Speaker 1: Oh, so that's what you need.
Speaker 2: Help, let me help on it.
Speaker 1: It's Julia Rossi.
Speaker 2: Julia Hi. Julia.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll take I like this title. It's
Speaker 1: a great title. I mean, we were not to shorten
Speaker 1: it for the iTunes.
Speaker 2: So you're just going to be like, you're the breakup true,
Speaker 2: you're the breakup expert.
Speaker 3: I've never seen Game of Thrones. I just want to
Speaker 3: put that out there. Thank you, and I have HBO.
Speaker 1: Funk would you thank you?
Speaker 2: It's not on purpose.
Speaker 4: I just get weird about stuff that's in other dimensions
Speaker 4: of fantasy.
Speaker 2: She's not even using her privilege, Like how dare you
Speaker 2: have HBO? And you're not even going to dibble dabble
Speaker 2: into the HBO movies.
Speaker 4: I just watched Defiant Ones, which was so good, the
Speaker 4: documentary Doctor Dre and Jimmy.
Speaker 2: I mean, what's that about.
Speaker 4: Oh, it's about how trip like the creation of like
Speaker 4: Innerscope Records and bh.
Speaker 1: Okay did they talk about how he used to be
Speaker 1: his ex wife.
Speaker 4: They it wasn't his ex wife, it was a reporter
Speaker 4: she was on.
Speaker 2: But he did be his wife though doctor dre he
Speaker 2: threwsome chick down the stairs. Yeah, it was in the
Speaker 2: actual like straight out of Compton movie they talked about
Speaker 2: they talked to that woman and him.
Speaker 1: Oh she was They let her be in the documentary.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really good.
Speaker 4: And I also, I don't want to say this because
Speaker 4: I don't want any dick pics to not send them
Speaker 4: to me.
Speaker 3: But I've never gotten a dick peg.
Speaker 1: I said that last.
Speaker 2: Week right there in this living room, and somebody, two
Speaker 2: people sent me dicks.
Speaker 4: I had to beg and request them from like people
Speaker 4: I was looking up with and I don't know. They're like,
Speaker 4: I respect you. I'm like, oh, disrespect me. I only
Speaker 4: want to be disrespected when I request it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I don't want to. Dicks are ugly things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to see them. If you think a.
Speaker 2: Watch somebody send you a dick pic with like the
Speaker 2: dick got a little like suit on, a little top
Speaker 2: hand at face on it. You're gonna dress them up
Speaker 2: like mister Penis with a little monocle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, please don't send me the monocle right on the tip.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: Sorry, they're gonna say the w B.
Speaker 1: Give me a plane in the background.
Speaker 2: Kenny G.
Speaker 1: Dick pic. Do you think Kenny G sends dick pics?
Speaker 4: Definitely is really funny on the Internet Twitter.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think he sends pictures of saxophones. That's
Speaker 2: what he probably his.
Speaker 4: Pictures of himself playing a sax. He's like, do you
Speaker 4: like good Sacks? He's real funny. If Kenny G is listening,
Speaker 4: I would love to be your friend.
Speaker 1: Kenny G.
Speaker 2: Hit us up.
Speaker 1: You could be our Sacks.
Speaker 2: We're gonna add him on this at Kenny G. I'm
Speaker 2: looking for him on Instagram right now. Kenny.
Speaker 3: Also, I want to know what products he uses in
Speaker 3: his hair.
Speaker 1: Probably shame oisture. No, he looks like a type dude.
Speaker 2: Yeah you think so?
Speaker 1: Yeah, definite is just out of them.
Speaker 2: He uses fruit trees. He honestly will his stuff be
Speaker 2: a little crunchy, So I feel like it's like a
Speaker 2: jail Yeah, like a like a pink jel like from
Speaker 2: the beauty supply store that costs like ninety ninety Look.
Speaker 1: At that look at Kenny nineteen nineteen ninety three.
Speaker 2: But what does he look like now? A black and
Speaker 2: white curl. He looks like Howard stern O. No, Kenny,
Speaker 2: he looks like Howard's clean brother. Okay, well both the
Speaker 2: Kenny g We need to talk about this breakup expertise
Speaker 2: you got going on here?
Speaker 1: Yeah, us take us through.
Speaker 2: Your dating my situation. Yeah, like when's the first young
Speaker 2: first kiss? Halloween, first kiss, seventh grade? It's funny.
Speaker 4: This week I was in Boston and I was I
Speaker 4: went to the park with my nieces and it was
Speaker 4: the park where I had my first kiss and like
Speaker 4: got flooded with.
Speaker 2: I was like super rejected.
Speaker 4: Like when I was a teenager, I had like, no,
Speaker 4: who has game when they're twelve but body?
Speaker 2: But still, anybody who has game as a kid was
Speaker 2: molested for sure. No, anybody who has a game as
Speaker 2: a kid is fat. Now I probably got like a
Speaker 2: kids and never left the town they started.
Speaker 4: I was like I always went after guys that like
Speaker 4: ignored me when I was a teenager and like into college.
Speaker 3: So that was like my first kiss.
Speaker 4: And then I didn't have any boyfriends in high school.
Speaker 4: I just had like guys that I liked that were like, I.
Speaker 3: Don't like you. I'm like cool, I'll call you tomorrow.
Speaker 2: You know. Uh.
Speaker 3: That was like my thing.
Speaker 2: I didn't have any I wasn't allowed to date in
Speaker 2: high school. I feel like I'm still not I allowed
Speaker 2: to date. My parents are not here for it. I
Speaker 2: people would like write me notes, and it was always
Speaker 2: like the nastiest dude who couldn't really spell and even
Speaker 2: like folded, like he wouldn't even fold it. Cute. I
Speaker 2: don't know if you went to school when people were like, oh,
Speaker 2: you had to pull things and the note popped.
Speaker 1: Open like a pop up book.
Speaker 2: And this guy wrote me a note and he asked
Speaker 2: me out, and I was like.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I gotta I'm.
Speaker 2: Gonna say no, but I'm gonna say it nice, right,
Speaker 2: And so he thought I liked him because I was
Speaker 2: really nice about it. And found out a couple of
Speaker 2: years ago he killed two people and that he.
Speaker 1: Was in jail for us his life. So Dodge that Dick.
Speaker 2: I was always the person who liked people. So I
Speaker 2: would go on the Yellow Pages and look for their
Speaker 2: phone number. I would get their parents' number, of their
Speaker 2: parents full name. I would call the fucking house and
Speaker 2: ask for them, and then they would pick up, and
Speaker 2: then I would hang up. That's what I would do.
Speaker 2: I would go to the parents full name. Oh, people
Speaker 2: would always say their mom's first name. At school.
Speaker 4: Oh, you could get I used to with My first
Speaker 4: lived down the street from me, so I would walk
Speaker 4: by his house. My sister had a crush and like
Speaker 4: had hooked up with his older brother. So then when
Speaker 4: she got a car, we would do drive bys. But
Speaker 4: I don't even know what we were looking for, like, oh,
Speaker 4: he's home, cool.
Speaker 1: And then speed away.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then the guy that I gave my first hand
Speaker 4: job to in high school, damn, I mean my boyfriend.
Speaker 1: But then he wasn't even your boyfriend.
Speaker 3: No, and then he well he acts a little hands too.
Speaker 2: Let me see these are little hands. No.
Speaker 4: I got like it's so funny as I've gotten a
Speaker 4: lot of a handful of day hands.
Speaker 1: Though you got thick hands.
Speaker 4: Got like three comments on YouTube from very serious comedy
Speaker 4: experts that are like, funny, but her.
Speaker 3: Hands are too big, or he's got man hands.
Speaker 2: You know, they're definitely not man hands, but I feel
Speaker 2: like you have a grip, Like you definitely need lube
Speaker 2: when you do it. I wouldn't. I wouldn't dry hand
Speaker 2: job there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like gripping like logs of salami as a.
Speaker 1: Child, even palm a basketball.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah I got I got a pretty sturdy grip.
Speaker 2: But she said, you got w NBA hands. Thank you.
Speaker 1: They also been back really far like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, they've been. I know, no one can
Speaker 3: see it's listening.
Speaker 2: So your first hand job was in high school, can't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, during the movie I do talk about this on
Speaker 4: stage to start for myself, but it was during the
Speaker 4: movie Mighty Ducks Too.
Speaker 3: We called it Mighty Dicks Too is always a comedian.
Speaker 2: And uh yeah.
Speaker 4: He we couldn't date because his mom got caller ID
Speaker 4: while we were talking. That was like I don't know
Speaker 4: if yayo we call it. It was like pre dating.
Speaker 4: So we were talking and then we had to stop
Speaker 4: talking because his mom got caller ID and he was like,
Speaker 4: why did you call me thirty times?
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, well, you weren't answering and I
Speaker 3: want to, you know, just make sure girl. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 3: I just want to make sure you got it.
Speaker 4: And yeah, So that didn't work out, so I didn't
Speaker 4: have like my first you know, mutual relationship where both
Speaker 4: parties were in agreement till.
Speaker 3: Let's see the.
Speaker 4: Beginning of my junior year of college. So like right
Speaker 4: before I turned twenty, Well.
Speaker 2: That makes sense. Yeah, I feel like that's when everybody
Speaker 2: had like real relationships, a.
Speaker 1: Real relationship, but I did high school.
Speaker 2: High school is not real relationships.
Speaker 1: It's not.
Speaker 4: But I do feel like I had a lot of
Speaker 4: friends who were like my ex boyfriend this and then
Speaker 4: this boyfriend, and I felt.
Speaker 2: Very they were touched by their uncles. I'm telling you.
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not gonna okay, yeah, we'll say it
Speaker 2: for you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't write a BuzzFeed article, no.
Speaker 1: Podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: So, and then that first boyfriend ended up being the
Speaker 4: person that I married.
Speaker 1: So we were like, wait, marry your first boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Wait you were married? I was married.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's here to talk about breakups. Yeah and divorce.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah we were. We were together for eight.
Speaker 3: Years, but we were only married a year.
Speaker 2: Whoa, Yeah, so you were together first seven, got married,
Speaker 2: lasted for a year. Yeah, we broke up. I broke up.
Speaker 4: We broke up once for real, and then a second time.
Speaker 4: It only lasted like a few days. But he's great
Speaker 4: we're still friends. He's like, yeah, but wait, why seven?
Speaker 1: Let's back up.
Speaker 2: That's why seven, Like you spent seven years without marrying him.
Speaker 2: All of a sudden, you were like, you know what.
Speaker 3: My god, how long is this podcast?
Speaker 1: You got to.
Speaker 2: It's uh we you know, so you guys dated junior
Speaker 2: year and senior year of high school, college.
Speaker 4: Half of junior year, half of senior year, and then
Speaker 4: after that up until yeah, like for years.
Speaker 1: So how does that? How did guess that work?
Speaker 4: He we we were very we were friends before we
Speaker 4: were dated, so like our relationship was very friendship.
Speaker 2: Based, so you were being a relationship and then he
Speaker 2: would come and like hold your hand and make you
Speaker 2: feel better.
Speaker 1: If the guy was it would both be in relationships.
Speaker 4: And then when one of us, yeah, like he was like,
Speaker 4: the guy would go to get advice.
Speaker 2: Okay, I just knew this guy.
Speaker 3: Why isn't he calling me?
Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, I know, I really I
Speaker 4: really had good self esteem and so I, uh yeah,
Speaker 4: so we just we fell in love and he's waiting.
Speaker 2: Now this sounds like a like a rom com, like
Speaker 2: White People romantic comedy movie. Like he's Ashton Kutcher and
Speaker 2: you're obviously nilakun.
Speaker 3: Is because he's very white.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I just we just assumed, Okay, I have
Speaker 2: Sydney were when she said we're talking, I was like,
Speaker 2: maybe when you said that, you start talking in high school.
Speaker 2: It's so funny.
Speaker 4: The guy I was talking to high school was black.
Speaker 4: I know, no, but I mean my ex husband is
Speaker 4: like white white, like like like Polish ethnic white.
Speaker 2: He's like main white. Yeah, yeah, you can't cape yeah,
Speaker 2: cape Cod.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you get it, tan, but you're Italian. I'm Italian.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's still white.
Speaker 1: You can catch a cat.
Speaker 4: I use my privilege when I can, but I also
Speaker 4: feel good that I can walk through certain neighborhoods and
Speaker 4: be like what I'm Latina, Like when.
Speaker 2: Do you really You're like, oh, okay, I'm definitely didn't
Speaker 2: fund the block.
Speaker 1: I'm like and whatever you need me to be.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, listen, Jennifer Lopez is white into all
Speaker 2: of the movies that she.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's brilliant.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and she's.
Speaker 2: Definitely not Puerto Rican in enough. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And Jelie I think she was like super Italian.
Speaker 4: I just feel like when you have like my parents
Speaker 4: are immigrants, so I feel like when you have that,
Speaker 4: it's hard for me to be like, I'm not white
Speaker 4: white because there's like a grunge.
Speaker 2: Were you next to us? Girl?
Speaker 1: You are white white?
Speaker 2: I forget, But I know what you mean about your
Speaker 2: parents immigrants, Like my parents are immigrants too, And I
Speaker 2: feel like when I talk to black folks, I'd be
Speaker 2: like where.
Speaker 1: You are people from?
Speaker 2: And they'd be like here, and I'll be like you
Speaker 2: just regular black? So like you're not regular white, You're yeah.
Speaker 3: You know you story about the lunches, right, yeah? The food? Yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean that's my life.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The way that my parents packed food.
Speaker 2: Is like, like's gonta spill, so let's tape it, throw
Speaker 2: it in a bag.
Speaker 4: And like so many bags make it look like.
Speaker 3: How many bags?
Speaker 2: So you were married with this dude? You guys got
Speaker 2: a divorce? How did that end? So basically I was
Speaker 2: before I got married.
Speaker 4: I knew this, okay, So I didn't know what else
Speaker 4: to do with my life. So I suggested we get
Speaker 4: married because everyone else was getting married and it felt
Speaker 4: like the right thing to do and what you should
Speaker 4: do and.
Speaker 3: All that like should ship.
Speaker 4: That is very If anyone is listening and you find
Speaker 4: yourself saying the word should a lot. That should be
Speaker 4: an alert. Then that goes for like career for anything, like.
Speaker 1: I should be doing this. I should do this, it's
Speaker 1: my job.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I should like this person. They seem really great,
Speaker 4: like and if you're high. Also, my therapist is like,
Speaker 4: whenever your voice goes into a higher optics, I'll be like, oh,
Speaker 4: I should go Like that means I'm lying to myself.
Speaker 2: But yeah, my voice is there pretty often.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's just because I'm like trying to pull a point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's still you still have that like you're
Speaker 2: not like.
Speaker 4: I don't know like that like wine, yeah, Mickey mouse help.
Speaker 1: But before you guys got married, you kind of Oh,
Speaker 1: I knew.
Speaker 3: I was like losing my mind.
Speaker 4: I was like I was living in New York and
Speaker 4: then I was like we should get married and move
Speaker 4: to the suburbs of Boston because I don't know what
Speaker 4: I'm doing with my career. I like I wanted to
Speaker 4: quit everything. I was like I should be normal, Like.
Speaker 2: Did you have any girlfriends? Like, like, do you have
Speaker 2: any girls around you? Telling you like no, I mean
Speaker 2: there's something else.
Speaker 4: You could do better, like it, Well, the do better
Speaker 4: is a tough one because he's a great guy. Like
Speaker 4: we really it wasn't like we were arguing.
Speaker 2: There wasn't. We were just really passive aggressive. It was terrible.
Speaker 4: No, the sex was good like it was. I mean
Speaker 4: I didn't have a ton of intercourse comparisons. I only
Speaker 4: had sex with one other person.
Speaker 2: So yeah, so you don't even know. Yeah, you have
Speaker 2: nothing to judge, but now I do judge, and it
Speaker 2: was it was good. Like we we communicate.
Speaker 1: You remember all those different strukes for different folks.
Speaker 4: But it was it was just it was bat like
Speaker 4: we I knew then. I was like, oh, man, if
Speaker 4: only I had met this person, I mean I can't guarantee,
Speaker 4: but like maybe if we had met ten years later,
Speaker 4: it would have been different.
Speaker 3: But it was just like not the right time.
Speaker 2: So you said, he's a good guy. Where was he working.
Speaker 3: He was occupation like TV production. It's like really creative
Speaker 3: and amazing, like supportive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, health insurance and stuff he had.
Speaker 3: He had insurance. Yeah, yeah, like it was.
Speaker 4: It just the friendship was stronger than I think for me,
Speaker 4: I can't speak for all relationships, but I have found
Speaker 4: that like for me, it kind of has to be
Speaker 4: equal parts everything so it's like it can't be like
Speaker 4: I want to be friends with them, but we can't
Speaker 4: be more friends than we are, like passionate, but it
Speaker 4: can't be all passion and no friendship, no relationship.
Speaker 2: I agree, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: Like, and I also have to feel like they're family
Speaker 4: in the sense of they'll like take care of me
Speaker 4: and we have each other's back. But I also don't
Speaker 4: want it to be like, e, you're like my brother,
Speaker 4: like you know, like it's got a kind of all
Speaker 4: work in.
Speaker 3: A balanced way.
Speaker 4: And I felt like in that relationship the friendship part
Speaker 4: dominated any passion.
Speaker 2: So you married your friend zone, That's what you did.
Speaker 2: You married your friend how they were fist bumping in
Speaker 2: the bedroom, there.
Speaker 3: Was some high fiving that would happen.
Speaker 2: You had him on the back, good job, yeah yeah,
Speaker 2: yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: So it ends and now you're divorced.
Speaker 2: So what Just.
Speaker 4: To back up one second, but I will say friend
Speaker 4: zone because again, if anyone's listening, I think it's very
Speaker 4: easy to do that, because if you think about it,
Speaker 4: in my head, I thought relationships were jerks who ignored me,
Speaker 4: that I had to follow right and chase around and
Speaker 4: be like I remember me or a guy that's really
Speaker 4: fucking cool in my buddy. I didn't know that there
Speaker 4: was like something else else, right, So yeah.
Speaker 2: One more question, So who's your girlfriends at the time, Like,
Speaker 2: I just want to know who your friends were. They
Speaker 2: weren't telling you to go out their friends. They weren't
Speaker 2: out there, Like yeah, he's a good guy, but like
Speaker 2: I feel like you need more experience.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I have friends who mentioned it or tried to
Speaker 4: talk about it.
Speaker 2: What they say. I mean.
Speaker 4: I had a couple of friends when I was leaving
Speaker 4: New York. I had to really good friends be like,
Speaker 4: what do you so you're quitting life? Like they were
Speaker 4: like very concerned, but I'm very good or it used
Speaker 4: to be very good at swaying people to get on board,
Speaker 4: like the you know when you like okay, so you
Speaker 4: know when you ask someone's opinion, but you do it
Speaker 4: in a way where you're exc answer. So I'll be like, okay,
Speaker 4: do you guys think I should stay in New York
Speaker 4: by myself? Ah, move to Boston with this guy, get married,
Speaker 4: live in an apartment rent free that my dad owns,
Speaker 4: and like save money and like real like and I
Speaker 4: would like.
Speaker 1: That sounds great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like a duck girl,
Speaker 1: you should have gotten married.
Speaker 2: Do your dad still.
Speaker 1: In Boston?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll save money and boss.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So I was really I think I was really
Speaker 4: good at minimizing. I'm I've learned to be less good
Speaker 4: at and I've learned to be better about telling people like, hey,
Speaker 4: I'm in a really bad place and I'm upset or
Speaker 4: I'm like feeling depressed.
Speaker 2: But I think like a lot of people, i'd be like, oh, fine.
Speaker 1: You know, really good at just seeming fine.
Speaker 2: And then when I'm not fine and people ask me,
Speaker 2: I'm good at yelling at them until they leave me alone.
Speaker 1: So I'm doing really well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all have our fat yeah,
Speaker 3: our methods. But yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4: It's it's just at the time, it seemed like what
Speaker 4: I should all caps red letters be doing.
Speaker 2: So who did the who initiated the divorce?
Speaker 3: I initiated getting married and the divorce.
Speaker 2: Damn. Yeah, women, Yo, you're a great team right here.
Speaker 2: I love it when you said you wanted to get
Speaker 2: a divorce. Was he like like, oh my god, thank
Speaker 2: you so much for saying.
Speaker 4: That, or no, I mean the part of the problem
Speaker 4: with our dynamic was he yes, an improv he yes,
Speaker 4: and me when I needed more of a I think
Speaker 4: we should talk about this like he yeskeed me a
Speaker 4: lot and not and then I think, I mean, I
Speaker 4: can't speak on his behalf, but I'm sure if if
Speaker 4: someone would talk to him now.
Speaker 2: Deeply about it, he'd probably be like, No, I actually.
Speaker 4: Was mad, but I didn't know how to express it
Speaker 4: because we just never wanted to hurt each other's feelings.
Speaker 3: So there's just a lot of enabling.
Speaker 1: I feel like real love, real.
Speaker 2: Real love is hurting somebody's feelings every like every other conversation. Yeah,
Speaker 2: my feelings I got hurt all the time now in
Speaker 2: my relationship.
Speaker 3: But you know, I'm a growing way.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if I'm.
Speaker 2: Growing, but like rolling my eyes, hurt him, hurt someone's
Speaker 2: feelings every other conversation, and maybe throw something at them.
Speaker 3: Oh I don't know about that.
Speaker 4: Okay, Well that's that was my that was my relationship
Speaker 4: about from my marriage. Okay, So okay, so I initiated that. Yeah,
Speaker 4: so I basically was like I what I said verbatim
Speaker 4: was I feel like I could take a ship on
Speaker 4: your face and you would just wipe it away and
Speaker 4: go ah.
Speaker 2: Julia said, yeah, see this is how in the movies
Speaker 2: you turn a missing that's right there, and your body
Speaker 2: would be shot the mean way.
Speaker 4: I just was like, this is ridiculous. Like I'm because
Speaker 4: I was acting out. I was like not coming home
Speaker 4: at night. I was like and he just was like,
Speaker 4: he's like, have fun.
Speaker 2: You see that. It's good that you left, because it
Speaker 2: sounds like he was getting ready to start training fight
Speaker 2: and yeah, be Jennifer Lopez and enough and oh yeah,
Speaker 2: beat away.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's what it felt like.
Speaker 2: It No, he is.
Speaker 4: That is not the way. I do not any want
Speaker 4: any defamation of character of my ex.
Speaker 2: You know, he's a great guy. It's just us. We
Speaker 2: are terrible people.
Speaker 4: Sound like.
Speaker 1: So much Jlo talk. I know, I thought I was Jlo.
Speaker 3: Now he's Jelo.
Speaker 1: Who is j Loo?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: No, And and then he was kind of I think
Speaker 4: he was in denial at first, and then we talked
Speaker 4: about it, and then he finally think he got up
Speaker 4: once I was like, so, which one of us is
Speaker 4: moving out?
Speaker 2: He was like, oh, you're.
Speaker 3: Serious, and I was like yeah, because I was a very.
Speaker 4: Boy who cried wolf kind of I think person in
Speaker 4: my twenties, like I would get like hair brain schemes.
Speaker 4: I'd be like, Okay, oh my god, I have this
Speaker 4: audition tomorrow and I think I'm gonna get it and
Speaker 4: then I'm gonna be rich and then I'm d d
Speaker 4: d d dah and like so I had a lot
Speaker 4: of that. So I think there was a little part
Speaker 4: of him that was like, okay, Julia, Julia is getting
Speaker 4: a divorce. Here she goes again with one of her
Speaker 4: like wacky ideas. And then when it really started to
Speaker 4: be real, we like didn't we obviously didn't know what
Speaker 4: would you say.
Speaker 2: Which one of us is moving out? Is? Isn't it
Speaker 2: your dad's built you? No?
Speaker 3: No, no, oh sorry, we had moved back to New York.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, yeah, we York.
Speaker 4: We moved to Williamsburg because what's happening was when I
Speaker 4: got married, we moved to by this hair brain scheme
Speaker 4: where I was like, all right, everybody, and I'm really
Speaker 4: I'm good. I should have gone into like I don't know, politics,
Speaker 4: being a lawyer or something like that, but like, if
Speaker 4: only I could use this for my career, but I
Speaker 4: I'm really kind of like convincing everyone, Like I said,
Speaker 4: it's a good idea.
Speaker 3: So I was like, all right, here's the plant.
Speaker 4: We're gonna move to Boston, we're gonna get married, we're
Speaker 4: gonna live rent free, we're gonna save some money. Then
Speaker 4: maybe i'll like work on a new project and like
Speaker 4: everything'll be great, right, And then I was just after
Speaker 4: that happened, after like a month, I started coming to
Speaker 4: New York by myself for like a couple of days,
Speaker 4: like a weekend, and then like flash, yeah, and I
Speaker 4: was spending.
Speaker 1: He let you.
Speaker 2: Yeah you already was like hi, fun.
Speaker 1: Adrianne would be like, okay, I'm coming with you.
Speaker 4: Well so okay, yeah, So then well I don't want
Speaker 4: to jump the gun. But then the relationship I had
Speaker 4: after was beyond the opposite of this, okay, So it
Speaker 4: was almost like the Three Bears.
Speaker 3: It was like too hot, That's what I was gonna say.
Speaker 2: When I was thinking of everything.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, she's really Goldilocks.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but that's the thing is like part of and
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know if I'm going off the
Speaker 4: expert topic now, I do think that, you know, it's
Speaker 4: really easy to look at past relationships as like in anything,
Speaker 4: even like the guy that I the hand job to
Speaker 4: like all of it included as like mistakes or shame
Speaker 4: or embarrassment or failures, but they all lead you to
Speaker 4: the next and they all teach you something like I'm
Speaker 4: you know it. Not everything I've done has felt good
Speaker 4: at the time, but in retrospect I am. I truly
Speaker 4: am grateful for everyone I met because I learned so
Speaker 4: much about like what I actually want, Like I know
Speaker 4: exactly the kind of person I can be around now.
Speaker 2: It's so funny because everybody is like training to be
Speaker 2: with the person they're really supposed to be with. Everything
Speaker 2: is everybody is in the practice run, Like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is practice in this relationship.
Speaker 1: This is not how you really do it. This is
Speaker 1: a scratch scratch paper, Yeah, scrap scrap dick.
Speaker 2: I agree. I mean it's funny that you speak of
Speaker 2: a scrap dick because my ex is getting married, he's
Speaker 2: engaged or whatever, and everything that he probably did wrong
Speaker 2: in the relationship with me, he probably flipped it. He
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I was just running a course on
Speaker 2: that ho. I know how to really treat a woman now.
Speaker 4: But I don't think it's it's I don't think it's like, uh,
Speaker 4: intentional I don't think someone you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: Like they're not like I'm going to practice on this person.
Speaker 3: It's just it's part of gross.
Speaker 2: It's not intentional, but you know when you have that
Speaker 2: feeling like I'm gonna be with that person forever. Okay,
Speaker 2: I feel like what I'm gonna say, Mike, I get
Speaker 2: me in trouble with somebody. But my ex boyfriend would
Speaker 2: complain about stuff that I was not doing in the
Speaker 2: relationship right Like he was like, you're not contributing enough.
Speaker 2: And he was like I was living in his apartment
Speaker 2: like rent free, like legit, just living lavish in for
Speaker 2: green And now I live by myself. And every day
Speaker 2: I'll wake up and be like something will click in
Speaker 2: my mind, like, oh, you know, I was a really
Speaker 2: bad girlfriend, like I know, and now my sister's staying
Speaker 2: with me and doing all this, all the things that
Speaker 2: I was doing to him, and I'm like, oh, oh
Speaker 2: my god, at all, but I see it.
Speaker 1: I wasn't doing that all circle. Oh god, this circle
Speaker 1: is so real.
Speaker 4: But you learn, I mean you learn from experience, like
Speaker 4: you can learn from like a book or listening to
Speaker 4: a podcast or watching a movie, but like real lessons
Speaker 4: stick from experience.
Speaker 1: You got to burn your hand to be like I'm
Speaker 1: not touching that exactly.
Speaker 2: Okay, So wait you so after the divorce or whatever
Speaker 2: that was done, you got in another relationship, there was
Speaker 2: a lot of rebounding. Yeah, so we separated.
Speaker 4: So we first did because everything.
Speaker 2: Separation is not a full divorce, no, and in the
Speaker 2: process of divorcing exactly, and.
Speaker 4: Also because like it's very confusing to get divorced, Like
Speaker 4: the paperwork is very confusing. It is way easier to
Speaker 4: get married than it is divorced. I didn't it was
Speaker 4: so many documents you had to fill out, and so
Speaker 4: neither of us really wanted to spend any money. But
Speaker 4: then finally we googled fast and friendly and we just
Speaker 4: paid like eight hundred bucks and it was really easy.
Speaker 1: So much of cause to get a divorce is eight
Speaker 1: hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: That was like the cheapest.
Speaker 1: What's the more expensive option, like lu like super divorce.
Speaker 4: I think more expensive is if you had a lot
Speaker 4: of assets to split, like if we had owned a
Speaker 4: house and a car and all that stuff. I mean
Speaker 4: it was like he's taking the flat screen and I
Speaker 4: took like the bread of.
Speaker 2: Someone told me that the paper is so much Someone
Speaker 2: told me that it's so much paperwork, so that by
Speaker 2: the time you get to the middle of it, you're like.
Speaker 1: Do we really want to fucking divorce?
Speaker 2: It's to wear you out and wear you down, it's
Speaker 2: up and make you think, hey, maybe we should just
Speaker 2: stay togain.
Speaker 1: Let's try a little harder. Yeah, yeah, that's what it is.
Speaker 2: Try a little harder. And is it really worth doing
Speaker 2: all this fucking sheets of paper? You I don't even
Speaker 2: know how to Like, I still don't know how to
Speaker 2: fill out like an eleven nine? What is it? What
Speaker 2: is that?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 2: I don't even know. They're like, how many exemptions are
Speaker 2: you claiming? I always just put three. I don't even
Speaker 2: know what that means.
Speaker 3: I think you get more tiken out, but then.
Speaker 1: I get more back with my Maybe.
Speaker 2: I don't know, you're going to jail. It's fine, she doesn't.
Speaker 1: Right to me, I need pin pass.
Speaker 4: So yeah, so a lot of our relationship and maybe
Speaker 4: it was just me at that time. I was a
Speaker 4: big procrastinator, So I think I just also just procrastinated
Speaker 4: a divorce, Like in my head we were done, but
Speaker 4: it just was like, oh, I gotta go fill out
Speaker 4: this thing.
Speaker 2: So I separated, he.
Speaker 4: Moved out, and then I, immediately I call it burning stage,
Speaker 4: had sex with someone like a week later, just to
Speaker 4: like get it out, get it out and get new in.
Speaker 2: You got to cleanse the kuchie palate. That's what you
Speaker 2: gotta do.
Speaker 4: And yeah, and I so I hooked up with two
Speaker 4: people and then the third person I hooked up with
Speaker 4: and this is it was a month later.
Speaker 3: It just stuck and we stayed together.
Speaker 1: And it's like venus flag trap.
Speaker 2: You got an use like.
Speaker 3: Three and a half years.
Speaker 1: Three and a half years something about you. You were
Speaker 1: long term, bitch, You're not funny.
Speaker 3: Thing is I didn't think that I was, but you are.
Speaker 4: But you are I know as an adult, I'm looking
Speaker 4: at your track record.
Speaker 1: Yeah eight years, yeah the three wait eight years? Eight years?
Speaker 1: First boyfriends?
Speaker 2: No, but I but the thing.
Speaker 4: Is my mean like I in my like I I
Speaker 4: love people pretty easily, but I'm also like very uh horny. Okay,
Speaker 4: I was like, what's the word, not horny? But like
Speaker 4: I think if I had been single, Like there's part
Speaker 4: of me that was like I wonder if like the
Speaker 4: universe made me be in a relationship from my early
Speaker 4: twenties because I would have been like.
Speaker 2: To stop you from being a hot Yeah, the universe
Speaker 2: works in your defense.
Speaker 1: Paper who knows?
Speaker 3: Who knows?
Speaker 2: Because let me tell you boo. Yeah, I got some
Speaker 2: miles on mine. I definitely how many miles and.
Speaker 3: There's a round miles there's I mean.
Speaker 1: But yeah.
Speaker 4: So that the relationship after was like the opposite.
Speaker 3: He was ethnic. His parents were immigrants, and I.
Speaker 2: Was like, oh, because also say ethnic Indian. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: was thinking brown.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and yeah. I just kept going shaved down and
Speaker 4: uh until I found the right color that worked with my.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: But no, I so in that other relationship, I felt
Speaker 4: like I was super I was like, oh, I'm dysfunctional.
Speaker 4: I'm fucked up because here's this nice guy. His parents
Speaker 4: are super in love, he's the best. I'm fucking nuts.
Speaker 4: I'm the one who can't make a decision. I'm the
Speaker 4: one with crazy immigrant parents that like argue all the time.
Speaker 4: So I was like, this is my problem, right, Like
Speaker 4: I really made it me. So then when I met
Speaker 4: someone who was also immigrant parents, like, I was.
Speaker 1: Like, your dad hit you, my dad hit you high fab.
Speaker 3: You know like that. And he was very passionate.
Speaker 4: He was very protective and jealous and like all the things,
Speaker 4: like he would never have been.
Speaker 1: The fire to the other guy's. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Like literally, if I was late at night, he would
Speaker 4: call like five you know what I mean. Like it
Speaker 4: couldn't have been more opposite. So in my head I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, well, I guess this must be love.
Speaker 4: And I like, I mean, I was so and I
Speaker 4: was so into the like we'd always argue in the
Speaker 4: rain and I broke his phone.
Speaker 2: Oh no the rain. Yeah, see, we don't do that. No, no,
Speaker 2: whatever we got to talk about, we could do it
Speaker 2: in the house or under some shelter. Like I got
Speaker 2: into a quiet argument with my ex boyfriend at the
Speaker 2: train uh steps not. We didn't even go.
Speaker 1: Down the stairs.
Speaker 2: We were at the top of the steps on the
Speaker 2: sidewalk arguing, and people that we knew kept walking by.
Speaker 2: Some we had to be like, oh, what are you
Speaker 2: talking about, like like yelling through our teeth.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and hey, Carol.
Speaker 2: How your mam gonna doing what she could?
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you tonight.
Speaker 2: So I can't imagine. I mean, it wasn't raining because
Speaker 2: I'm black woman.
Speaker 4: It was very like uh, we were not friends. It
Speaker 4: was like purely just this passionate you know, all of
Speaker 4: our I don't know, it was just it was that
Speaker 4: was three years, three.
Speaker 3: And a half.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna ask this question again. So who was
Speaker 2: your friends during that time?
Speaker 4: So during that time I did have I in the
Speaker 4: very beginning, I had some friends be like, I know
Speaker 4: about this.
Speaker 2: Guy, like he doesn't you have a best friend, because
Speaker 2: I feel like the best friend will always let you know, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm not feeling him, you know.
Speaker 4: I had people kind of slowly say it. But again
Speaker 4: because I was so I was really depressed the year
Speaker 4: that I was married and the year leading up to that,
Speaker 4: because I knew that I wasn't being myself, Like I
Speaker 4: felt like I was trapped in another body. And so
Speaker 4: because this person was doing all the things that I like.
Speaker 4: My ex husband loved me, but he wasn't like verbal,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Whereas this new guy would
Speaker 4: just like put me on a pedestal.
Speaker 3: And like compliment.
Speaker 1: He was also like kick that pedestal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely if it got too high, but like kid,
Speaker 2: he always humbled you. Yeah.
Speaker 4: It was but it was like it was very and
Speaker 4: I was eating it up so hard, and it's you know,
Speaker 4: I think you put out what you need.
Speaker 3: At that time. I needed that at that time.
Speaker 4: I also I moved in with him very fast. He
Speaker 4: lived next door to his mom, so I had this
Speaker 4: immigrant mom like.
Speaker 2: You know, dinner, so you was away eating curry, yeah, exactly,
Speaker 2: which I have not had since we broke up, because
Speaker 2: I'm like, it's like.
Speaker 1: Ah but grateful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so are you.
Speaker 2: When you walk by a halal truck, do you get
Speaker 2: like flashbacks?
Speaker 1: Yeah, start twitch all.
Speaker 4: But definitely like First Avenue where all those guys are like,
Speaker 4: come in, we have samosas.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, all your ex ruined Indian food, but.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's fine.
Speaker 2: But but yeah, I mean I did.
Speaker 3: And then toward the.
Speaker 4: The last year that we were together, there was like
Speaker 4: a lot of lying on his behalf, and my friends
Speaker 4: started to be like, okay, come move in with like
Speaker 4: they were sort of trying to.
Speaker 2: Help facilitate it.
Speaker 4: But the thing with telling your friends to break up
Speaker 4: with people is it's real tricky because again, like you
Speaker 4: got to touch that stove and.
Speaker 5: Burn your hand, right, because you know, because you tell
Speaker 5: your friend to leave somebody that you think that or
Speaker 5: you can see that is not a good fit for them,
Speaker 5: and then that person stays with them, and then it's like, well,
Speaker 5: I guess we just go.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be awkward, as up yesterday, it's gonna be awkward.
Speaker 2: And then I know that I don't like him, So
Speaker 2: now I gotta sit at lunch or dinner or whatever
Speaker 2: from him. And he knowed that I don't like him
Speaker 2: because she didn't ran her mouth and told him how
Speaker 2: I feel. So now it's awkward. Now I can't go
Speaker 2: to this restaurant because because he there, Like, but I
Speaker 2: love it. I love what is it? What's my favorite thing?
Speaker 2: Drunken noodles? I love?
Speaker 1: Now he didn't fuck up drunken noodles for them exactly.
Speaker 3: I mean, I think you can.
Speaker 4: I what I would have, what I worked best with
Speaker 4: me at that time, and what I try to do
Speaker 4: with friends when they're in similar situations is like you listen,
Speaker 4: you say, you know, like I support whatever you do,
Speaker 4: but you know, I just care about you and I
Speaker 4: want to like you have to kind of you can
Speaker 4: be upfront.
Speaker 3: And honest with them.
Speaker 4: Every relationship is different the same way every romantic relationship
Speaker 4: is different. Every friendship is different. You have some friends
Speaker 4: where you can just say it and it's cool. Other
Speaker 4: friends you can't. It's tricky, Like, but it's also not
Speaker 4: my friend's responsibility to get me out of a relationship.
Speaker 1: I have to learn what is.
Speaker 2: Your friend's responsibility to be like a good friend. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like this is not the cist. We're not doing this.
Speaker 3: So it wasn't telling them everything that was wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they still were like, dude, like based on
Speaker 2: what they were seeing, they were like.
Speaker 1: You should come and stay with me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Towards the end, when I started to be more upfront
Speaker 4: about like the problems we were having, they were like,
Speaker 4: uh so, yeah, we ended up the reason why that
Speaker 4: the final straw though, Like there's a lot of things
Speaker 4: that were wrong, but the final straw was that I
Speaker 4: was doing a solo show about my marriage and he
Speaker 4: didn't like me putting all my business out there because
Speaker 4: I talked about like my first hand, like I talked
Speaker 4: about all those things.
Speaker 2: I mean, but that's I think that's valid though, Like
Speaker 2: it was.
Speaker 3: A teen age teenage shit.
Speaker 4: Also, it's not like he met me and I was
Speaker 4: like a nurse and then I became a comedian, Like
Speaker 4: he met me hearing me talk shit on stage and
Speaker 4: was so attracted to it.
Speaker 2: And now he probably was like, ooh it did don't
Speaker 2: work out. This was gonna say everything.
Speaker 4: I was the first thing out of his mouth when
Speaker 4: we broke up, was were you going to tell everyone
Speaker 4: everything I did wrong?
Speaker 5: Yes?
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, that will be a yes.
Speaker 4: Here's the thing is, in my marriage and in that relationship,
Speaker 4: I absolutely know I made mistakes. I would not be
Speaker 4: ashamed if any of those mistakes were out there, because
Speaker 4: I'll be like, yeah, yeah, I was young, Yeah, sorry
Speaker 4: about that.
Speaker 2: You know, that's like dating a performer. You're in a
Speaker 2: comic and you're dating somebody who's a comedian. Even when
Speaker 2: I meet somebody and they find out I'm a comic,
Speaker 2: they're like, is this gonna go on one of your skits?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, first of all, I don't do skits?
Speaker 1: What this is?
Speaker 2: And you know, people are afraid that you're going to
Speaker 2: talk about them, so they should stay a live as.
Speaker 3: Soon as your dick goes, I mean, you signed a waiver.
Speaker 2: You sure did.
Speaker 3: That is a waiver that is a legally binding contract.
Speaker 1: As soon as you're released, that's the release.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Wait, how'd you break up with this dude.
Speaker 4: Oh so he uh it was it was not great.
Speaker 4: It was like he said he had a problem with
Speaker 4: the show. Blah blah blah. We argued, had another argument,
Speaker 4: and then I was like, I like, I can't do this.
Speaker 3: I'm leaving.
Speaker 4: I tried to break up with them a few times
Speaker 4: over that past year because things were going south, and
Speaker 4: he would, you know, beg and be like, I'm going
Speaker 4: to therapy. I'll die without you, like a lot of
Speaker 4: that guilt mother's curry.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: He did a lot of victim stuff.
Speaker 4: And because but here's the thing is, I was so
Speaker 4: so talking about rebounds to get into that expert thing.
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna tell.
Speaker 4: And you know, everyone does whatever they want to do,
Speaker 4: but I will suggest, like, you gotta give yourself some time.
Speaker 4: Like I was in an eight year relationship, I gave
Speaker 4: myself zero time.
Speaker 1: I did not want to.
Speaker 4: I didn't want it because I felt like I didn't
Speaker 4: deserve to.
Speaker 2: Grieve because I vagina has some mourn yeah for a
Speaker 2: little yeah.
Speaker 1: A little little black veil.
Speaker 4: And because I initiated the breakup, I felt like, because
Speaker 4: I was the bad guy, I felt like I didn't
Speaker 4: deserve times to grieve.
Speaker 2: So wait wait, wait, wait wait, if you break up,
Speaker 2: wasn't going to you to bad guy?
Speaker 4: No felt I don't think that at all. Oh I
Speaker 4: I I'm saying. At the time, I felt like I
Speaker 4: just felt like the bad guy. I felt really fucked up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I don't feel I mean when I
Speaker 2: broke up with my boyfriend, I was the bad guy.
Speaker 2: But I feel like that's sometimes you have to leave
Speaker 2: the bad guy, or sometimes there's no bad guys.
Speaker 3: Just we're not good for each other one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: There's just energy.
Speaker 3: It's not good.
Speaker 4: And so when I met that second boyfriend, I was
Speaker 4: in such a vulnerable place. I just wanted something to
Speaker 4: distract me from myself, which I think a lot of
Speaker 4: people do when they stay stuck in a relationship. You're like,
Speaker 4: well if I put in, especially because he seemed more
Speaker 4: fucked up than me, I was like, well great. The
Speaker 4: same way I was my ex husband's project, this guy
Speaker 4: will be my project, and I just wanted to Like
Speaker 4: so when he would come to me crying, being like
Speaker 4: I can't live without you, I'd be like, I guess
Speaker 4: this is like if I see.
Speaker 2: A man cry and say I can't live without you. No,
Speaker 2: I definitely I'm backing my thing. Yeah, I'm putting a
Speaker 2: different wig on. I'm changing my life. I'm changing my
Speaker 2: first name because those guys, why would you say I
Speaker 2: can't live with that? Come on, dude, you were living
Speaker 2: I don't know, thirty years previous to me without me.
Speaker 3: I agree with everything that is, Beau.
Speaker 2: If I see a man cry, then pussy is dry,
Speaker 2: haven't yeh? Man, man tears like sham while my va giant.
Speaker 2: It's just like it depends. Layers are about No, they're
Speaker 2: always making me dry. How about you crying during this
Speaker 2: movie about Really?
Speaker 1: I don't mind's funeral?
Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, live you square, live you skirt up? Man?
Speaker 2: What's going on?
Speaker 1: But that's just me and that's probably why we're rude. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so so let me see how mu champy oft I
Speaker 1: just don't want to see.
Speaker 2: So can you give anybody who's listening, like tips on
Speaker 2: how to properly rebound or like?
Speaker 4: Okay, so I think I did it properly after that one.
Speaker 4: So now I'm like single for the first time in
Speaker 4: eleven years, and I move in with.
Speaker 3: A girlfriend who's also recently single.
Speaker 2: Good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you've got to stick together. In Williamsburg. So I
Speaker 4: moving to a young, hot.
Speaker 3: Neighborhood, okay with the thriving.
Speaker 4: Thriving and just start fucking and just started going up
Speaker 4: to people that I'd always wanted to have, you know,
Speaker 4: like people you kind of keep in the back of
Speaker 4: your head and you're like, oh, I was sang.
Speaker 3: Just started going up to all them.
Speaker 4: It's really I will say, it's a lot easier because
Speaker 4: I'm a comedian.
Speaker 3: So it was like people I knew and I was.
Speaker 2: Wait, was it civilians or you would like comedians and
Speaker 2: civilians comedian? Oh, it's fine. Your current boyfriend is a comedian,
Speaker 2: so it's fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we worked out.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I was going up to people that I like
Speaker 4: that I knew a lot of them were like friends,
Speaker 4: and I was like, I've always wanted to have sex
Speaker 4: with you, and they were like what And I.
Speaker 3: Was like I was.
Speaker 4: They're like, what's the catch, and I'm like literally literally
Speaker 4: just no, Like I have so much time to make
Speaker 4: up for I need to get my numbers up fast,
Speaker 4: Like I know, I fall in love easy, so like
Speaker 4: let's get so. I guess the trick to it is
Speaker 4: to just I just was being honest, like I was
Speaker 4: being like brutally honest with people. I was just like,
Speaker 4: this is where I'm at. I just got a relationship.
Speaker 4: Like I anything, any advice that I'd ever been given
Speaker 4: in like a fucking magazine or a TV show, I
Speaker 4: was just like, fuck that. Like I talked about inappropriate
Speaker 4: things on first dates.
Speaker 2: So you went on dates, you weren't just going up
Speaker 2: to people, let's fuck, you wouldn't getting were you getting like.
Speaker 1: At least pasta you know.
Speaker 2: I was mostly.
Speaker 1: I got like a couple of breakfasts. Okay, so it
Speaker 1: was after yacht and fucked.
Speaker 4: Okay, I didn't Okay, I want you, I would say,
Speaker 4: for like the first six months, it was mostly just
Speaker 4: fucking and like connecting with people. Yeah, just it was
Speaker 4: really fun and it was interesting. I felt like I
Speaker 4: was hooking with a lot of people that had also
Speaker 4: gone through a breakup or were like I was really
Speaker 4: magnetizing people that were sort of in a similar place
Speaker 4: of me of like, oh my god, I've always been
Speaker 4: in long term really and I'm trying this.
Speaker 2: In the summer because I feel like in the summer
Speaker 2: that is where yeah go hey, oh yeah.
Speaker 3: It was May and I was like wearing a like.
Speaker 2: A scrumper that I don't want to magnetize with people
Speaker 2: who are going through the same thing as me. I
Speaker 2: want you to be going through something completely different. I
Speaker 2: want you to be like in a different place financially,
Speaker 2: I want you to keep working in a different field.
Speaker 2: I want you to maybe not know who your dad is.
Speaker 2: Like I just I need you to be complete different
Speaker 2: than me.
Speaker 4: I mean I had all sorts, but because I was
Speaker 4: very specifically not wanting a boyfriend, I was okay hooking
Speaker 4: up with someone who was like going through a lot
Speaker 4: of ship because I'm like, oh, this is just gonna
Speaker 4: be hooking up and maybe like.
Speaker 3: A coffee date.
Speaker 1: I feel like those people who.
Speaker 2: Are going through a lot of stuff are the ones
Speaker 2: that are gonna call you in the middle of the
Speaker 2: night like, Hey, I just wanted you to know that,
Speaker 2: Like it's getting pretty bad on like I don't want.
Speaker 3: To talk to you, and you just say I don't
Speaker 3: want to talk.
Speaker 2: Cold. But if she's ice queen, she doesn't want you
Speaker 2: to be vocals.
Speaker 1: Feel things, ye speak to me. She wants you to
Speaker 1: be a stone.
Speaker 2: I'm afraid that if if I shut somebody who's like
Speaker 2: a little bit broken, if I shut them down too harshly,
Speaker 2: which is what I'm gonna do. I'm afraid they're gonna
Speaker 2: be like waiting for me at my mailbox, Like hey, remember,
Speaker 2: but Marie shuts people down all the time, And nobody's
Speaker 2: waiting at your at your doorstad.
Speaker 1: You need a key to get into the door.
Speaker 2: None, they be letting anybody come through. Somebody was letting
Speaker 2: me in a while. I was ringing, buzzing your bell. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the end of the day, I was coming out of
Speaker 2: that little area and there was a homeless man sleep
Speaker 2: and I was like.
Speaker 4: Really, somebody really want to do at two am?
Speaker 3: And now you're.
Speaker 1: Okay, So you need to rebound properly. I think rebound properly.
Speaker 4: And also, and I hope this makes sense, and I
Speaker 4: feel like Marie is going to disagree, but just picking
Speaker 4: up on our vibe. But I also I think being
Speaker 4: in the moment, and this goes for everything in life
Speaker 4: is so important. And I think especially with relationships, it's
Speaker 4: very easy to be with someone and of course naturally,
Speaker 4: like your past ship comes up and then you're already
Speaker 4: planning the future and you're like and all this stuff,
Speaker 4: and what I really did when I was rebounding was
Speaker 4: I was being in the moment.
Speaker 3: So when I was like hooking up with people, I
Speaker 3: was there.
Speaker 4: I really felt like positive, caring energy for them while
Speaker 4: we were like I felt like the sex I was
Speaker 4: having was really connected with a lot of people. And
Speaker 4: that might sound whatever, but I was in the moment
Speaker 4: and so it it. My head wasn't like where is
Speaker 4: this going or like oh and so I felt like
Speaker 4: a lot of my exchanges with these people and this
Speaker 4: is getting like very like woo woo energy. But the
Speaker 4: energy was like respectful and balanced and nice because I
Speaker 4: was actually there.
Speaker 2: How old we are these people? They sounded uh yeah,
Speaker 2: they sound like they might be interesting aged.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm gonna say is it was better
Speaker 3: and better the younger they were.
Speaker 2: Also, they were just respecting you because you was older
Speaker 2: than them. Maybe it was respect to elders.
Speaker 3: That's what respect my elders.
Speaker 2: Did they call you miss.
Speaker 4: Ma'am? They were like, oh, I'm gonna come ma'am, Mama Rozzi,
Speaker 4: where should.
Speaker 2: I come up?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: But uh yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 4: It was it was a really you know, I'm a
Speaker 4: cry but I would also give myself time.
Speaker 3: And like cry my shower.
Speaker 4: Girl, but I was really good about like having nights
Speaker 4: where I was like, you know what, any other thing
Speaker 4: I it suggests too, if you are rebounding and you
Speaker 4: tend to be codependent and find yourself in relationships easy
Speaker 4: is you also have to kind of learn to self
Speaker 4: soothe and not run to your friends all the time.
Speaker 3: Because that was the thing.
Speaker 4: Was like I would start to feel sad, and instead
Speaker 4: of feeling sad because fine, I would grab the phone
Speaker 4: and like, I'm not saying you shouldn't call people.
Speaker 3: Of course, if you're like hitting, you.
Speaker 2: Don't call them. If your friend is Marie Fasson, don't
Speaker 2: you should be called Fay.
Speaker 4: It was it was a really thing that I needed
Speaker 4: to learn to make my next relationship good, which is
Speaker 4: self soothing and being like what do I actually think
Speaker 4: and what do I actually feel? And some of those
Speaker 4: times would be like I would just cry for an
Speaker 4: hour and then I'd dust myself off and go do
Speaker 4: something productive instead of being on the phone with like
Speaker 4: friend and after friend after friend being like I don't
Speaker 4: know anything.
Speaker 2: It's like yes, this, yeah, it's gonna be okay. Yeah
Speaker 2: you got another call, that's the pizza.
Speaker 1: Yes, ordered again?
Speaker 4: Not, but just learning to pick and choose when you
Speaker 4: actually need help and when you're just.
Speaker 2: Like when do you call your friend? When do you
Speaker 2: actually call?
Speaker 3: I think when you need.
Speaker 2: To stay at her place?
Speaker 4: No, or when you I mean, god, like, if you're
Speaker 4: feeling fucking suicidal, of course, if you feel if you're
Speaker 4: like if you have had a realization.
Speaker 3: And you're like, hey, I want to run this by
Speaker 3: you and like talk it out.
Speaker 4: But I think if you're just in that moment of
Speaker 4: panic and you're not even letting yourself be honest with
Speaker 4: yourself about what it is, because it's sometimes when you're
Speaker 4: having a fitter breakdown, Like every time I've had a breakdown,
Speaker 4: I've come out of it with something a new knowledge
Speaker 4: about myself.
Speaker 3: That hurts, but it's amazing.
Speaker 2: That's so real. That is I mean, I'm right here,
Speaker 2: think about all the times I've picked up the phone
Speaker 2: call people like that was dumb.
Speaker 4: It's not dumb. I mean, I still don't get me wrong.
Speaker 4: I'm sure I have friends with my.
Speaker 1: People listening, and you gotta self suit.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a friend who would hear this and
Speaker 3: be like bitch.
Speaker 4: But I'm trying to learn because that's and you'll make
Speaker 4: better decisions after that.
Speaker 2: Okay, what's a what's a good like break up line?
Speaker 2: Not the it's you, it's not me, but like something
Speaker 2: equivalent to that.
Speaker 4: Oh, I just think it's it's just being honest. I
Speaker 4: think trying to make it not. I think that what
Speaker 4: happens a lot in breakups is people. Even if it
Speaker 4: is quote unquote the other person's fault, it's never just
Speaker 4: one person's fault because like the person I was with
Speaker 4: for almost four years, I could right now be like
Speaker 4: any lied about this and this and this, but you
Speaker 4: know what I chose to say. I enabled the behavior.
Speaker 4: I tried to change him. I shamed him when he
Speaker 4: didn't do what I thought was right. I mean I
Speaker 4: did a lot. So when I broke up with him,
Speaker 4: he was like, I know I did a lot of
Speaker 4: things wrong. I was like, yes, but we're it's not
Speaker 4: you're wrong, I'm wrong. This just isn't right. And I think,
Speaker 4: you know, someone might not believe that, but I think
Speaker 4: if you can take ownership of your part in it,
Speaker 4: it makes it easier for you both to heal.
Speaker 2: When I hear this just isn't right, I get like
Speaker 2: I feel crazy.
Speaker 1: I feel like Nah, we gonna make it work. Let's
Speaker 1: make it right, to make it.
Speaker 4: But the thing is that when you get into a
Speaker 4: new relationship, Yeah, but then it's.
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, what's her name, Iyanda, I'll get her to
Speaker 2: fix this relationship. Yeah, no, I'm not doing that. If
Speaker 2: you're telling me it is no. My My line was yeah,
Speaker 2: I can't do this anymore. And it was like what
Speaker 2: do you mean? And then we talked for like I
Speaker 2: feel like two days, and then I left and he
Speaker 2: was like, hey, do you want to go see a play?
Speaker 2: And I was like I just I left your keys there,
Speaker 2: Like why would you? Like sometimes you try to break
Speaker 2: up with somebody and then they're like no, we're just talking.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, how do you do with somebody like that?
Speaker 4: You say, because that's what happened with my last He
Speaker 4: was like sending me a picture he had a dog,
Speaker 4: but it like kind of became my dog, you know,
Speaker 4: and he would send me He's like the dog misses you,
Speaker 4: or like hey can you And I was like I'm
Speaker 4: I can't. I can't comfort you through this breakup. That's
Speaker 4: what's happening. Yeah, that's where the call John and I wanted,
Speaker 4: you know, I don't like having bad energy with anyone,
Speaker 4: but with that one, I had to be like, he
Speaker 4: might hate me, but I don't care because I can't.
Speaker 4: I have to get out of this pattern of like
Speaker 4: caring what other people think because that also makes you codependent.
Speaker 2: So wait, how long did it take you to get
Speaker 2: into a relationship that you're in now? Okay?
Speaker 4: So I promised myself, and I know it's not gonna
Speaker 4: sound like a long time, but for me, considering my
Speaker 4: track record, I was like, I have to be single
Speaker 4: and minimum a year. I was like, yeah, I was
Speaker 4: like minimum. I can like go on dates, I can
Speaker 4: like hang, but like, I can't be like this is
Speaker 4: my boyfriend meet my parents for like at least a year?
Speaker 2: Were you any dating apps or anything like that?
Speaker 4: I join and then like someone would message me and
Speaker 4: I'd canceled because I was like, well, I'm not looking
Speaker 4: for I don't.
Speaker 3: I kind of don't.
Speaker 4: I would love it if it was longer than a year,
Speaker 4: Like I really wanted to explore. So I say around
Speaker 4: eight months, I started to like, you know, I would
Speaker 4: go to dinner with someone before we had sex, but
Speaker 4: I'd always be like sex and like.
Speaker 1: Again, I'm happy to fails to go.
Speaker 4: But I know Will, who's my current boyfriend almost exactly
Speaker 4: a year to the day.
Speaker 3: Wow, Yeah, which was really interesting.
Speaker 2: The universe is line and shift. And we broke up
Speaker 2: right away.
Speaker 3: There was like something about his energy where I was like, now.
Speaker 2: Will don't look like he hooked up right away. He
Speaker 2: looked like your time he opened the door.
Speaker 4: No, no, no, he is he his talk about his numbers.
Speaker 4: He is such a whoreror really absolutely not. I have
Speaker 4: my podcast.
Speaker 2: He's nice.
Speaker 3: He's a nice guy. That's probably why he gave I'm
Speaker 3: his first girlfriend.
Speaker 2: So you're saying he was he didn't hooked up with Mappy,
Speaker 2: but he didn't have a girlfriend girlfriend right, Yeah.
Speaker 4: He never like he had like people. Well, I'll let
Speaker 4: him tell his story. This is my podcast.
Speaker 2: And about his shoulders look like long term. He looks
Speaker 2: like a long term Well that.
Speaker 4: Was the thing because when I first when I first
Speaker 4: saw him perform, he would do all these jokes about
Speaker 4: rom coms and like not getting the girl, and so
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, he's like a and that's also
Speaker 4: why like he was flirting and I was like, I
Speaker 4: feel like if we start hanging out, it could go
Speaker 4: long term.
Speaker 2: And I didn't want that, so you friend zoned him
Speaker 2: for a little bit. I did, and then we like
Speaker 2: but you were like, let's get this dollar pizza real quick.
Speaker 1: No, Emily's were wherever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we just had like a slow like we like
Speaker 3: we're at you know, a show.
Speaker 4: We ended up like dancing all night after the show
Speaker 4: after everyone left, and then I was like bye, and
Speaker 4: he walked me into the train.
Speaker 2: It was like, very well, he practiced his dance moves
Speaker 2: before he hung out like a hitch you remember. Very sweet?
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, Will is a nice guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so sweet.
Speaker 1: And how long have y'all been together?
Speaker 4: Three?
Speaker 3: We just just three years, like a creer mark.
Speaker 4: And it was but I will say this so this
Speaker 4: would be my other advice was with him, it was
Speaker 4: like beyond honesty from the get like we named every
Speaker 4: comedian we had ever fucked, like the like the third
Speaker 4: night we hung out, just.
Speaker 2: Get it out.
Speaker 3: They're fine and.
Speaker 2: That means more than five.
Speaker 4: Just because I don't want him to be able to
Speaker 4: show talking to someone that I hooked up with and
Speaker 4: have that other person be like I know.
Speaker 3: A secret and like no Will knows and.
Speaker 2: We'll find with it because we do have to because
Speaker 2: comedians running fucking mouth.
Speaker 1: They don't know how to keep secrets.
Speaker 2: No, they tell all their business. Yeah, I mean it
Speaker 2: goes back to dating somebody dating a comic and them
Speaker 2: talking about Listen. I feel like if if you fuck
Speaker 2: a comic and you a comic, there should be like
Speaker 2: an NDR or I mean you gotta sign like no,
Speaker 2: you can't mention this shit because like, don't be using
Speaker 2: me as your material like in vice versus. That's why
Speaker 2: I don't bank comedians. I mean that's really that's not
Speaker 2: even why I just don't bank comedians because I don't. Again,
Speaker 2: it goes back to not wanting to anything that's too
Speaker 2: similar to me, but it's working for you, and I
Speaker 2: love and I approve of him. If you were the
Speaker 2: data comedian, he's one of them.
Speaker 4: The thing is we have similar Okay, we have like
Speaker 4: similar I think hearts and.
Speaker 2: Oh you seen his heart before?
Speaker 4: No, but you know what I'm saying, Like we have
Speaker 4: like similar I think we have similar mentalities about how
Speaker 4: one should behave and morals and beliefs, but we're very
Speaker 4: different as far as like like he likes quiet, I
Speaker 4: talk a lot. He is a night person. I'm a
Speaker 4: morning like we really kind of balancing. Yeah, that's why
Speaker 4: I like showed up.
Speaker 1: And she walked from her house.
Speaker 2: You made me look bad. You look like the bad
Speaker 2: house you were here before me.
Speaker 4: But yeah, I know, it's uh, it's just I think
Speaker 4: what works for us. And you know, very early on,
Speaker 4: I was like, I'm not gonna I'm not jumping too
Speaker 4: far ahead. I'm not like I can't, I can't imagine.
Speaker 1: It's not it seems like that's what works for you.
Speaker 2: Not overthinking or for anybody really is just like being
Speaker 2: in the moment and then doing it until you don't
Speaker 2: want to do it anymore.
Speaker 4: And something I would also really advise people because this
Speaker 4: is something I learned from like the breakups and whatever is.
Speaker 4: And it goes back to reaching out to friends, like
Speaker 4: with him most things. Every now and then I'll talk
Speaker 4: to a friend about him, but it's nothing that if.
Speaker 3: He heard would be scandalous, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4: But even we were starting our courtship, I didn't ask
Speaker 4: friends what they thought of him worship.
Speaker 1: I didn't yeah wow.
Speaker 4: But I didn't even like, I didn't ask my friends
Speaker 4: what they thought.
Speaker 3: I wasn't like, I don't know, should I text him?
Speaker 3: I didn't everything.
Speaker 4: I went to him, like, I asked him for advice
Speaker 4: about our relationship, and that to me was a very
Speaker 4: huge sign because I feel like when you have a
Speaker 4: friend that's like, how do I respond to this guy?
Speaker 4: You're like, well, if you don't know how to respond
Speaker 4: to a girl or whatever, what are you?
Speaker 2: I'm like, bitch you thirty five if you don't know
Speaker 2: about now, like, come on, girl, you don't need me
Speaker 2: to help you. And then I'll be like, well, right, yeah,
Speaker 2: with the emergency here, and then yeah, tota egg plant
Speaker 2: in there too, Yeah you might as well you didn't
Speaker 2: fuck him, right. I'll screenshot conversations and send them to
Speaker 2: my friend, but I already know what i'm gonna say. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't feel like and then if they tell me
Speaker 2: to put something, I'm like yay, and then I just
Speaker 2: put the opposite.
Speaker 4: I just think if you're asked, if you're talking to
Speaker 4: your friends more than you're talking to your partner about
Speaker 4: the relationship friends, then that's that's a sign.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but sometimes you gotta do that because your friend
Speaker 2: is vicariously living through you. So just make sure I'm entertained.
Speaker 2: So please, weird, what are you talking about send it
Speaker 2: my way please, I mean, Marie, don't hold it, don't
Speaker 2: hold back. Okay, Well I'm okay, So I'm gonna I
Speaker 2: was in a relationship for three years and now I've
Speaker 2: been single for three years, and so I'm getting back
Speaker 2: into the dating world. I'm saying that, but I'm probably
Speaker 2: not going to But like i'm, I'm, I'm I've never
Speaker 2: been on any of the apps. I've never done any like,
Speaker 2: I'm definitely not gonna bang a comedian, so like, where
Speaker 2: where should I be looking for my rebound on.
Speaker 4: The Q train? So I'm gonna say, don't say. I
Speaker 4: definitely not gonna about anyone.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, you know I'm talking about I'm taking back.
Speaker 2: I'm not not going to date a comedian in New
Speaker 2: York who makes less money than Okay, friend, I approve,
Speaker 2: I approve of whatever you said. You want to be
Speaker 2: like a different level comedian than yes, and and Sydney
Speaker 2: has to uh sign off on that, and I sign off.
Speaker 2: I didn't put my whole signature and that mention.
Speaker 1: Sent it out is already she's the witness.
Speaker 4: Okay, So but I don't know where you maybe she's
Speaker 4: like I don't even know you're doomed. No, wow, No,
Speaker 4: but like ask I mean friends to introduce you to people.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's one thing.
Speaker 2: Well it's just me. So I don't have nobody for her.
Speaker 1: So Sept. One is get some new friends.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I get some new friends.
Speaker 4: Anyone listening to this podcast, if you know someone who
Speaker 4: you think would be a great match for Marae, why not?
Speaker 1: Oh girl? Or don't even need no, don't feed into
Speaker 1: this bullshit.
Speaker 2: Look at her. She don't need no damn help. You
Speaker 2: don't need her friends.
Speaker 1: I mean my phone is full of dis.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she walks out.
Speaker 4: She's great, But but that's different than meeting someone who's
Speaker 4: actually a good match. Like, yes, she's gorgeous, she's getting
Speaker 4: dick pics. But if you're actually interested in meeting someone,
Speaker 4: you can have a conversation and be yourself with that's
Speaker 4: what you said.
Speaker 2: You ain't all that, Marie's you ain't on it. Listen,
Speaker 2: we're gonna talk off the podcast because Sidney's not gonna
Speaker 2: let us be great. Julia, I feel like, is there
Speaker 2: anything you want to leave people listening with about either
Speaker 2: relationships or or rushing into things or taking their time
Speaker 2: with Well, I was going to quiz her just a
Speaker 2: little bit, right, Okay, So well, listen to the question
Speaker 2: that I doesn't yes, and then well you want to.
Speaker 4: Quiz and then and then if there's anything I didn't
Speaker 4: answer in the quiz, but let's do that.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I just go ahead control your podcast.
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you? How you mediate that? So, Julia, we've
Speaker 2: been together for about four years. You know, I'm all
Speaker 2: right as a partner, not the best. I'm all right,
Speaker 2: I'm I can already get you and your girlfriend you're
Speaker 2: talking about now, you talk about you and her quiz
Speaker 2: right here? Right?
Speaker 1: You know you and your girlfriend. She already knows that
Speaker 1: you're all right.
Speaker 2: Get in, get in the zone. Okay. Sorry, So we've
Speaker 2: been together. I've I'm all right. My career is okay.
Speaker 2: So that means I have no money in the bank.
Speaker 2: But I hate you with a ring. Do you say
Speaker 2: yes or no? Four years?
Speaker 4: I mean together? This is I need a lot more
Speaker 4: information here.
Speaker 1: You're in love with me? But like, but do you
Speaker 1: have like goals?
Speaker 3: And do you have are you.
Speaker 4: Like yeah, I'm a comedian, but are you like are
Speaker 4: you like a victim? And like nothing works out for you?
Speaker 4: That's why you're broken. Nothing's happening.
Speaker 1: Are you like actually leaving how to save money? Buffalo
Speaker 1: exchange stake stuff at the through shag.
Speaker 2: No, No, even though you're in love with me and
Speaker 2: that my career is promising, I mean, I haven't booked
Speaker 2: anything yet.
Speaker 4: It's just no, I need no because if I have
Speaker 4: to carry your like self pity, like that's gonna make
Speaker 4: my pussy dry.
Speaker 2: But for my own mind, you know what, my pussy
Speaker 2: is wet, right Yo, that's beautiful.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean, but you're but you're the things you
Speaker 4: gave me to work with. We're not very sid that.
Speaker 4: She was like, you love me? What are your positive qualities?
Speaker 2: You love me? Me love It's hard to find fun
Speaker 2: and I find you working on real fast my legs,
Speaker 2: my calves, my cast I love your calves. Thank you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, get a job, Julian, I was just laid off.
Speaker 4: So like, honestly, I'm doing the past at twelve thirty
Speaker 4: on a Monday.
Speaker 2: So yes, guess what you're doing it in my pre
Speaker 2: war apartment. Okay, So I have a question for you.
Speaker 2: So you said that when you would go on dates
Speaker 2: with people, like nothing was off limits, like you broke
Speaker 2: all the dating rules that the magazines till yeah yeah,
Speaker 2: So what what is something that is like one hundred
Speaker 2: percent of the time always off limits to talk about nothing? Wow?
Speaker 2: I just feel like because you're okay, here's the thing.
Speaker 4: If you go on a date and you are, i know,
Speaker 4: be yourself as such a generic thing, and it's also
Speaker 4: a really hard thing because you're like, well, how do
Speaker 4: I know who I am?
Speaker 3: And the thing is, sometimes you learn.
Speaker 4: Who you are in a relationship, like when you're in
Speaker 4: a bad rely, Like a relationship is like a mirror,
Speaker 4: so it's all relative. Right, So you go on a date,
Speaker 4: you act like yourself, you like someone who reads an article,
Speaker 4: and it's like, don't say this, act like this straight
Speaker 4: Like when fucking millionaire matchmaker would tell people with curly
Speaker 4: hair to straighten their hair. I'm like, once that girl
Speaker 4: puts out of the shower, he's going to realize her
Speaker 4: hair is curly.
Speaker 1: Like why millionaire hair matchmaker is single too.
Speaker 4: So that's what I'm saying, Like there's all this shit
Speaker 4: where it's like do this, don't do that. The truth
Speaker 4: is if you guys start dating, that real you is
Speaker 4: gonna come out. So why hide it when you first
Speaker 4: meet Because that's the thing that there's going to make
Speaker 4: them love you like your your weird flaws.
Speaker 2: Saying I should like pick my teeth on the first day,
Speaker 2: and I should like, if you.
Speaker 3: Pick your teeth, I should be like kick them.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't need a tooth pick. They
Speaker 1: got minced though.
Speaker 4: I mean that's so that's you know something, I want
Speaker 4: to work on it.
Speaker 2: But like, yeah, Julia, leave us with something. Tell us
Speaker 2: what you did you have another question? That was it?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: So anything that you missed that you feel like, you know,
Speaker 2: I would just reiterate if those shoulds are coming up
Speaker 2: in dating, in your current relationship, just look at that
Speaker 2: and see see what it means.
Speaker 4: It's not always a bad thing, but if if shoulds
Speaker 4: are dominating your love life, then maybe you should What.
Speaker 2: If I'm like, should he should be paying? If it
Speaker 2: is he got more money than me, I feel like
Speaker 2: that's a good shoot, talk to him.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna talk to him.
Speaker 2: I'm just not gonna bring my wallette a Julia ware
Speaker 2: of people listening.
Speaker 4: Catch you plug your podcast? Okay, so I have a
Speaker 4: podcast with my boyfriend. I'm out relation shops. If you
Speaker 4: want to hear me talk more about this stuff if.
Speaker 2: You want to hear more in depth conversations.
Speaker 4: Hopefully we don't break up dot com or on iTunes.
Speaker 4: We talked to other couples about this kind of stuff,
Speaker 4: and then you can find me. Julia Razzi it's with
Speaker 4: a G. Just google Julia with a G. Comment that
Speaker 4: all my stuff will come the only one doing it.
Speaker 2: What a plug?
Speaker 1: What a plug?
Speaker 2: You guys? Do you have a like a comedy show?
Speaker 2: Do you have a show?
Speaker 3: No, it's on hiatus right now, but they'll be when
Speaker 3: does this come out?
Speaker 2: We don't know. We don't even know.
Speaker 3: I'm always doing something.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll find you. I mean, we'll tag all of
Speaker 2: your social media. This was great. I learned a lot.
Speaker 1: I learned an iron ship and no that's not true.
Speaker 2: I learned that I'm actually doing a really good job.
Speaker 2: I will continue to thrive that thrive and live. You
Speaker 2: have goals though you're doing stuff. Girl, that was just
Speaker 2: a little example. That's not my real life. Okay, that's
Speaker 2: like girl, I still got a couple of checks in
Speaker 2: the mail. I'm good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's will kay to be going through a hard
Speaker 4: financial time.
Speaker 2: It's just marry you don't don't that a tiny ass
Speaker 2: ring to Julia's house. I was not gonna First of all,
Speaker 2: the ring wasn't name of from K's jeweler. Okay, from
Speaker 2: Jacob to jeweler please. The ring was from Buffalo, a
Speaker 2: consignment shop ring the bloody ass Hipster Diamond.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go.
Speaker 2: You can catch us on Instagram at Unofficial expert at us.
Speaker 2: You can hit us on Twitter minds as uh just
Speaker 2: said b w n y C and Reezy on Instagram.
Speaker 1: I'm Reezy r e e e z y.
Speaker 2: And then you can catch me uh once a week
Speaker 2: on YouTube at miss rez m s.
Speaker 1: R e e e z y.
Speaker 2: Yes, us questions please add us sliding our dms without
Speaker 2: dis like. Just ask like real questions, comment for us
Speaker 2: on your dick and then send us that Yes, We'll
Speaker 2: ford them all to Julia.
Speaker 3: And then I'll give you advice on your deck pack.
Speaker 2: Thank you, and let's shout out Comedy Hype for a
Speaker 2: little bit, you know, Thank you Comedy Hype. Please listen
Speaker 2: to all our episodes on there. We also have iTunes, uh,
Speaker 2: you know, go to Comedy Hype for all of your
Speaker 2: comedy news. This was fantastic, This was great so much. Uh,
Speaker 2: you know, just hold up as much as you can
Speaker 2: and uh maybe you'll find love.
Speaker 1: You'll never know, find a nigga would enough be to use?
Speaker 2: And then live your life and avoid the dude that
Speaker 2: lives next door to his mom. Yeah, because you probably
Speaker 2: that's too close, Yeah, Julia, I mean yeah, thanks guys,
Speaker 2: Bye bye