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Speaker 1: Karen tried to kidnap my four month old baby, then

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Speaker 1: sued me. We went to court and the judge made

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Speaker 1: a decision nobody expected. The judge is like, actually, that's

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Speaker 1: just called babysitting. Karen, you have to pay her fifteen

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Speaker 1: dollars an hour for the babysitting services she rendered. So

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Speaker 1: you know what, Karen, you deserve this child. You were

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Speaker 1: the one trying to trying to apprehend them. Meanwhile, where

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Speaker 1: was mom? Or you could go biblical, you know, like

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Speaker 1: the Solomon story where it's like these two mothers think

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Speaker 1: that this child is their's. Solomon, what is your decree? Well,

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Speaker 1: split the child in half and give half to each mother.

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Speaker 1: And then the mother that's the true mother.

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Speaker 2: Was like, no, my baby, give it to the other lady.

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Speaker 1: And then it's the Solomon's like, ah, you did not

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Speaker 1: want to cut the child in half, thus you are

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Speaker 1: the mother. Or or it's like yeah, give me the half,

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Speaker 1: and you're like, I've given it to you just to

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Speaker 1: stay toxic. If John was was the judge, stay toxic

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Speaker 1: judgment day oh man. So one afternoon after our mommy

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Speaker 1: and me yoga class. I know it sounds dumb, but

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Speaker 1: it's a great way to meet mommy friends.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so mommy, I'm gonna go to a mommy.

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Speaker 1: And yoga class. I'm want to me some mommies. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Me and the old baby decided to go get some

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Speaker 1: coffee and catch up. Well, actually I would get coffee

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Speaker 1: and she would get some sweet sweet booby milk.

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Speaker 2: Does the booby milk have caffee in it? If you

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Speaker 2: drink coffee?

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Speaker 1: That is a good question, I think, so I could say,

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Speaker 1: off the walls, bro, just hopping.

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Speaker 2: Around, yeah, doing that yoga so well?

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Speaker 1: Well, baby lightweight as she is pass it passed out

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Speaker 1: after her sweet sweet milk sucks. So I decided to

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Speaker 1: be wild and get my second cup of coffee. Wow, wow,

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Speaker 1: look at you. I'm drinking my second cup when out

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Speaker 1: of when, out of nowhere, a wild Karen appears. Karen. Ah,

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Speaker 1: what a cute baby.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so far, so good.

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Speaker 1: So I smile, but go back to reading the news

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Speaker 1: and sipping on my coffee. When I wake up. When

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Speaker 1: I look up, the entitled kid is literally trying to

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Speaker 1: take my sleeping baby.

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Speaker 2: What where do these kids get off, bro?

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Speaker 1: Like, actually, okay, maybe maybe I can see The kid

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Speaker 1: is like eight and it's like, oh, cute baby, and

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Speaker 1: it goes that is.

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Speaker 2: Uh okay, potentially not.

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Speaker 1: You know what should happen is the careen to be like, yo,

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Speaker 1: don't take that baby. The baby. But we all know,

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Speaker 1: we all know that that's not what I panicked obviously me, no, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: don't don't pick up the baby. Karen. Oh, she wasn't

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Speaker 1: hurting her entitled kid. I want to hold the baby,

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Speaker 1: Let me do it. Me. She's sleeping and you are

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Speaker 1: too little to and you are too little to hold her. Honey,

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Speaker 1: she is heavy, Karen, all, just let her hold her.

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Speaker 1: My child is very much. How did Pino, you're a

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Speaker 1: literal stranger try to snatch this baby? Also? I love

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Speaker 1: how like Karen is saying that her child is mature.

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Speaker 1: Meanwhile she's like trying to let her kid pick up

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Speaker 1: this random baby. No very mature thing to do. Yeah, me,

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Speaker 1: she is not a baby doll. No, dude, lay down

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Speaker 1: the law. Come on, tell it is Karen. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to be such a bitch about that. Dude. It's

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Speaker 1: her baby, you kidd Oh my god, oh my god. Like,

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Speaker 1: can you imagine going up to someone saying like, y'all

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Speaker 1: let my eight year old pick up your baby and

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Speaker 1: then calling them a bitch for saying no.

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Speaker 2: The audacity literally me, excuse me.

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Speaker 1: During this time, Karen tried to pick up the baby

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Speaker 1: and woke her up. During this time, entitled kid tried

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Speaker 1: to pick the baby up and woke her up. So

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Speaker 1: she starts crying loudly. I pick her up and start

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Speaker 1: s I pick her up and start hushing her.

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Speaker 2: Me.

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Speaker 1: Now see what you did? Leave us alone, Karen. She

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Speaker 1: just wants my daughter to hold her. No, that's that's

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Speaker 1: why she started crying.

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Speaker 2: Bro.

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Speaker 1: Then Karen tries to grab the baby out of my arms.

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Speaker 2: What is going on?

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Speaker 1: Like? Where do you get off? I wonder if this

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Speaker 1: is how Karen got our first child, just subducted it.

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Speaker 1: It's like, no, I need the holder, and then I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna be a better mother than you.

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Speaker 2: This is how Karen collects babies like pokemon. God u

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Speaker 2: uh me?

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Speaker 1: What the f get off? I turn? I turned away

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Speaker 1: to shield my baby who starts crying. Karen, just let

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Speaker 1: me hold her? Let me holder?

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Speaker 2: Stop Karen? Why why why is she doing this? Dude?

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Speaker 1: Me help help? And then I open hand slips. Then

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Speaker 1: I open hand punch her in the nose. What the Karen.

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Speaker 1: Then I open hand punch Karen in the nose. Dude, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: let's go ope smack that Karen up. At this point,

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Speaker 1: the coffee shop employees jump in and pull her away.

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Speaker 1: One of them says they called the police. Karen's nose

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Speaker 1: is bleeding. Entitled kid is sobbing. Yeah good. I feel

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Speaker 1: kind of bad for the kid. She's pretty little, but

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Speaker 1: her mom should really teach her better.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, don't think you love I love the sweet justice.

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Speaker 2: That would just what clipping the nose?

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Speaker 1: That's right, Keep that nose out of my business, Karen.

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Speaker 1: That's why, Karen, Karen, you're gonna you're gonna catch these

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Speaker 1: hands if you want to get all my baby. The

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Speaker 1: employees ask us to stay and wait for the police. Karen, good,

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Speaker 1: she assaulted me and traumatized my child.

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Speaker 2: How about oh PE's child? They were trying to snatch and.

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Speaker 1: Op like literally here she is just like sipping a

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Speaker 1: cup of coffee, and then her own child is like

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Speaker 1: being taken away from her, Like what the hell? Baby

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Speaker 1: is still crying? So I whip out the booby. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: just in front of you and see these just breaking

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Speaker 1: breaking your ears. An aggressive motor boat. I can't brave.

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Speaker 1: You ever seen that video where it's like boob karate

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Speaker 1: and there's like these Russian women that are like using

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Speaker 1: their boobs to like like crush uh cinder blocks.

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Speaker 2: I've never seen that. Well that sounds.

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Speaker 1: You don't watch that side of PORNU. I yeah, I

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Speaker 1: guess I missed boob Karate. That's the only stuff I

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Speaker 1: category just hasn't surfaced itself in my algorithm yet. Karen, look,

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Speaker 1: she's exposing herself to.

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Speaker 2: A shy old dude. She's breastfeeding her kid.

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Speaker 1: Like, shouldn't you understand being a mother?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Like what?

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Speaker 1: Obviously Karen is not a great mother, not winning any

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Speaker 1: mother of the Year awards. Karen's a bottle feeder. I

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Speaker 1: ignore her. The baby finally calms down. The police came

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Speaker 1: and they asked us each what happened? Karen? She exposed

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Speaker 1: herself to her my daughter, and then assaulted me. Bro

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Speaker 1: the police at least there's probably reason with the police,

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Speaker 1: all right, we hope, we hope me scared that I'm

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Speaker 1: going to jail. That is not true. That is not true.

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Speaker 1: She tried to steal my baby and I was just

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Speaker 1: protecting her. Luckily, the coffee place had cameras. There we go,

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Speaker 1: there we go. She got arrested for attempted kidnapping and

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Speaker 1: I have to go to court next month. Oh so

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Speaker 1: this is like, this is a whole saga. This is

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Speaker 1: going down, and there is an update.

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Speaker 2: Let's hear the update. What happens with the judge.

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Speaker 1: We go to court on April fourteenth for the criminal

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Speaker 1: charges against Karen for attempted kidnapping.

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Speaker 2: The criminal charges.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we're it's going down. I didn't I didn't

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Speaker 1: expect to update before the court date, but then this happened.

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Speaker 1: Me and the baby went to the park in the

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Speaker 1: morning and we got back around eleven. There's a man

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Speaker 1: standing on their porch looking lost. Baby was in her

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Speaker 1: stroller sleeping. I put my hand in my purseon onto

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Speaker 1: my mace. Can I help you, random dude? H I'm

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Speaker 1: looking for first.

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Speaker 2: Name, last name.

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Speaker 1: I got a package for her. He pulls out a

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Speaker 1: He pulls out a thick envelope. I'm talking CARDI B

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Speaker 1: level fick. I'm her, I can take it. I take

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Speaker 1: the CARDI B thick envelope as soon as it's in

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Speaker 1: my hands. I signed for as soon as it's in

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Speaker 1: my hands and I signed for it. Random guy rips

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Speaker 1: off a fake mustache in the delivery hat, revealing you've

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Speaker 1: been had. He reveals his identity a legal intern. Cool, cool, cool,

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Speaker 1: you're being sued by the way, Good luck.

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Speaker 2: I would love to have that job. Actually, that would

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Speaker 2: be fun.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, serving people sounds amazing. It sounds really fun. Maybe

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Speaker 1: maybe that's maybe that's our next show. Yeah, you've been served.

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Speaker 1: It's us just serving for random, random people.

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Speaker 2: That's so funny.

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Speaker 1: For the most ridiculous lawsuits possible like this.

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Speaker 2: How do we get that job?

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Speaker 1: I think I think we could create an open call

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Speaker 1: to I mean, you've got a lawsuit and you need

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Speaker 1: you looking for someone to serve. Let us know.

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Speaker 2: We'll make content from it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. I'm being sued by Karen. Why would

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Speaker 1: the woman who tried to snatch my baby be suing me?

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Speaker 1: How much damage could I have afflicted? Well, apparently I

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Speaker 1: did twenty five thousand in damage in this in this envelope,

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Speaker 1: about ten million pages detailing me about how she's suing

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Speaker 1: me for everything wrong in her life. I broke her notes,

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Speaker 1: so she's shoeing me for medical bills. Of course, emotional

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Speaker 1: damage to her and her child anxiety depression because of me,

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Speaker 1: and the kid has PTSD from.

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Speaker 2: The incident PTSD. Okay, come on, bullshit.

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Speaker 1: Finally I'm being sued for solander and character assassination because

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Speaker 1: how dare I because how dare I say she tried

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Speaker 1: to steal my baby?

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Speaker 2: Wow? Dude, this uh, this is garbage.

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Speaker 1: It is it is and there's a final update. Okay,

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Speaker 1: the please tell me the court threw it out or something.

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Speaker 1: The court session was long and boring. Entitled dad entered

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Speaker 1: the picture and made racist statements to my husband what

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Speaker 1: their lawyer tried to make me look like a demon

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Speaker 1: and Karen look like a saint. The charges and verdicts

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Speaker 1: for Karen were as follows. Assault guilty, OH, disorderly conduct guilty, OH.

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Speaker 1: Disturbing the peace guilty.

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Speaker 2: YO.

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Speaker 1: Attempted kidnapping not guilty. Okay, that's interesting. She was sentenced

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Speaker 1: to eighteen months of probation, forty hours of community service,

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Speaker 1: thirty hours of anger management, and almost one thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: in fines. This all goes on her permanent criminal record

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Speaker 1: and if she violates anything in her probation or does

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Speaker 1: or just doesn't do what's.

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Speaker 2: Required of her.

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Speaker 1: She will spend those eighteen months in prison. Wow, finally

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Speaker 1: Karen gets some justice. Wow, and no PE's Scott free.

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Speaker 1: Right it looks like nothing. Nothing is damn dude. See

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Speaker 1: that's like is this crazy? Like this this one action,

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Speaker 1: this this Karen decides to steal one baby and then

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Speaker 1: she has.

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Speaker 2: A whole world of her coming at her. Legally.

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Speaker 1: I would love to know, like a scientific breakdown of

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Speaker 1: what happens in these people's brains, Like what just like

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Speaker 1: the monkeys clapping, simple, accurate, accurate,