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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Riley and this is Dakota, your favorite

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a quick two minute break

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Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

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Speaker 2: My biosister tracked me and now wanted to be a

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Speaker 2: part of my life. What is she? The CIA. Here's

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Speaker 2: the issue. I was adopted as a baby. I twenty

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Speaker 2: six female. Have no clue what happened to anyone in

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Speaker 2: that family, as I have never had a desire to

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Speaker 2: look into my past. Mom fifty nine female, and Dad

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Speaker 2: sixty three male, are wonderful and giving people. I have

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Speaker 2: a sister, Elizabeth, who is my twin quote unquote. We

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Speaker 2: aren't related by blood, but are the same age. We

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Speaker 2: were both adopted, so we had that to bond over.

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Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Dramaly and if you

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Speaker 2: want to dismit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime severed it. I'm Sophia and I'm Savannah,

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Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice Kooflee, But we

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Speaker 2: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,

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Speaker 2: So let us know what you would do. In the comments,

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Speaker 2: and Opisa. I met the love of my life, Jake

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Speaker 2: thirty mail. We've been together for four years. We're getting

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Speaker 2: married in December. I have already planned out the guest list.

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Speaker 2: No kids will be there, and I'm super excited. I

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Speaker 2: have never really had the urge to look for my

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Speaker 2: bio siblings. I guess at this point it wouldn't really

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Speaker 2: be their true sibling emotionally because we have lived different lives.

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Speaker 2: Since I have medical records and grew up without them,

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Speaker 2: I never felt the need to meet them. But my biosister,

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Speaker 2: Janis twenty seven female, tracked me down about a month ago.

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Speaker 2: She wrote me on Facebook in July, but I didn't

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Speaker 2: check my other folder until September. It was a really

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Speaker 2: long letter that talked about who she was, how she

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Speaker 2: tracked me down and said she was looking for the

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Speaker 2: rest of the siblings. She said she really wanted to

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Speaker 2: connect with the rest of us because she needed to

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Speaker 2: find her past. I don't know what to think, but

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Speaker 2: her story added up. She had some pictures and since

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Speaker 2: I was a pretty ugly baby, it's obviously us together

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Speaker 2: as doddlers. She also knew some details. She could be

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Speaker 2: a fake, but I didn't think it was. I showed

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Speaker 2: Mom and Dad and they said it checked out. I've

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Speaker 2: been talking for a few weeks now. She has called

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Speaker 2: me twice a week, texting me every day. She's nice,

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Speaker 2: but I have been losing interest. She's just some stranger

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Speaker 2: to me. Emotionally, I find it very hard to recognize

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Speaker 2: this is someone I should care about on some deep level, shouldn't.

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Speaker 2: I feel like we're super close sisters. I don't get

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Speaker 2: the same excitement talking to her that I do with Elizabeth.

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Speaker 2: She has two kids who she talks about a lot.

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Speaker 2: She tells me she showed them my picture and they've

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Speaker 2: been showing people Auntie Emily. She also told me she

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Speaker 2: took off time in December for the wedding. She just

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Speaker 2: might need to stay with me because she's low on cash.

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Speaker 2: Yay on cash. Feels like maybe that's the reason she

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Speaker 2: came to you.

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Speaker 1: Hmmmm, not good.

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Speaker 2: Not good.

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Speaker 3: And there's the first red flag. We got it.

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Speaker 2: I was waiting for it. I know this makes me

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Speaker 2: sound nasty and ungrateful. She's super into meeting me, said,

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Speaker 2: I am the most normal sibling, and she's so excited

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Speaker 2: to have someone to share her life with. She sounds

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Speaker 2: really lonely. I know she's built this up in her

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Speaker 2: head as being the best thing to happen to her

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Speaker 2: in forever, but she isn't someone I would have in

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Speaker 2: my life if she didn't have some connection to my past.

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Speaker 2: Every time we talk, she goes on and on, and

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Speaker 2: I'm just counting down the minutes. I have tried to

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Speaker 2: work it away to be there for her, but I

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Speaker 2: can't bring myself to truly care. I don't wish her ill,

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Speaker 2: but she's just another stranger to me. She isn't family emotionally.

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Speaker 2: I know I could try to form the bond, but

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Speaker 2: at this point, I don't see the point. At twenty six,

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Speaker 2: I have pretty much established the sort of people I

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Speaker 2: want in my life. She just has views I find strange,

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Speaker 2: is rude in ways I find annoying, and despite having

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Speaker 2: biological nieces, I just don't feel like they're anything with

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Speaker 2: someone else's kid. Does this make me a bad person?

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Speaker 2: Am I horrid? I feel guilty as heck, because I

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Speaker 2: can tell she wants this so bad. Even then, even

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Speaker 2: if we did become friends, she would never be my

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Speaker 2: sister because being a sister means a lot more than

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Speaker 2: genetics to me, I'm not sure how to tell her, Hey,

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Speaker 2: I don't want to talk anymore. I've talked with my

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Speaker 2: significant other and he says, if I want her out

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Speaker 2: of my life, then I just need to handle it.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't really like her that much. They've talked, but

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Speaker 2: he says she puts a lot of pressure on me

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Speaker 2: to be close to her when this stuff doesn't always

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Speaker 2: even work. Any advice would be so appreciated, and we've

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Speaker 2: got relevant comments, But what do you think?

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Speaker 3: Honestly, I don't think that you're like the a hole

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Speaker 3: in this opio because, like, if you don't want a relationship,

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Speaker 3: then you don't want a relationship. Like it's cool that

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Speaker 3: she reached down, and it's cool that she wants one,

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Speaker 3: you know, and she's discovering her past and one not

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Speaker 3: like she can't force.

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Speaker 2: That on you. No, she can't.

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Speaker 3: She cannot force you to feel like have this connection

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Speaker 3: of blood sisters or something like, I don't know. You

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Speaker 3: can't force someone to feel a specific way towards someone,

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Speaker 3: especially if you know you don't care to know your past.

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Speaker 2: And that's that's okay. You don't have to, you know,

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Speaker 2: that's your boundary.

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Speaker 3: So she just kind of needs to get it.

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Speaker 2: I agree, and she's annoying apparently. Yeah, that's her worst crime.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, in terms of how do we go

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Speaker 2: about this, you just sit her down, go get coffee

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Speaker 2: and say, hey, I'm really appreciative that you reached out

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Speaker 2: to me. I don't think I'm ready for the type

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Speaker 2: of relationship you want. And then I don't know where

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Speaker 2: to go.

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Speaker 3: From there, and then you send her confetti in the

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Speaker 3: mail spring Heel Jill.

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Speaker 2: Says, wait, did she invite herself to your wedding? What

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Speaker 2: that was a crazy thing that she did? Ohpi says,

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Speaker 2: she did invite herself and her two kids to my

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Speaker 2: wedding and to stay with me while I have everything

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Speaker 2: else going on. I'm not sure what she thought was

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Speaker 2: going to happen. I was going to be jolly about

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Speaker 2: someone being in my home with kids while I was

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Speaker 2: getting ready for my wedding and a honeymoon. And we've

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Speaker 2: got an update four days later. In the last few days,

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Speaker 2: I've done a lot of thinking. The short of the

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Speaker 2: long I have decided not to have her in my

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Speaker 2: life anymore. What happened? Janis called me last night. I

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Speaker 2: tried to be polite, but she went into a big,

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Speaker 2: long rave about all the plans she had for when

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Speaker 2: she visited me, she brought up the wedding. Would there

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Speaker 2: be time to see a long list of local places together?

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Speaker 2: Ohp is, I'm only planning a wedding. She doesn't have

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Speaker 2: time to be a tour guide. This is crazy. Did

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Speaker 2: she have a plus one? No, you don't even have

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Speaker 2: a one. Let them in a plus Yeah? What was

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Speaker 2: the dinner options? Nothing for you? She already bought the

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Speaker 2: girls dresses in blue with baskets so they could be

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Speaker 2: flower girls with the rest of the children. You wanted

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Speaker 2: to see her date? And who would watch the girls

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Speaker 2: while we were eating dinner? You at home? She was

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Speaker 2: looking forward to meeting our family members in December. She

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Speaker 2: needed to know what date she should arrive. She would

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Speaker 2: need to stay with me because she spent all her

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Speaker 2: extra cash on your wedding. I was pretty shocked because

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Speaker 2: she had done all this without even confirming she was invited.

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Speaker 2: Not sure what made me ask, but I asked her

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Speaker 2: if she really was in contact with the rest of

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Speaker 2: the siblings. She told me some very concerning things. She

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Speaker 2: had been in contact with two of them, a sister

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Speaker 2: and a brother. She said they tried to talk to her,

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Speaker 2: but then cut off contact. They were actually doing really well,

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Speaker 2: even though they were in foster care until they aged out.

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Speaker 2: They had their own kids, were married, had decent jobs.

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Speaker 2: They had refused to introduce her to their kids and

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Speaker 2: got mad. She wanted to know more details about their

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Speaker 2: lives with our parents. The rest of the siblings turned

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Speaker 2: down contact with her. The moment she wrote them, she said,

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Speaker 2: I was the longest communication she had with someone in

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Speaker 2: a long time. You just wanted to meet me so badly.

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Speaker 2: She had spent more money than she had to look nice.

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Speaker 2: She wanted me to help her and for her girls

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Speaker 2: to finally have a good family. I just told her

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Speaker 2: the truth. You have been coming on too quickly. I'm

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Speaker 2: a bit concerned because you're trying to invite yourself to

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Speaker 2: my wedding. You have never met. We're pretty much strangers.

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Speaker 2: I don't feel comfortable having you come stand my home before, after,

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Speaker 2: or during the wedding. I have a sister and parents.

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Speaker 2: I was raised with them. I do not view any

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Speaker 2: of the siblings as actual family members. I'm not their

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Speaker 2: aunt in anything but genetics, and do not intend to

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Speaker 2: recognize them as my nieces. If I have nibblings. They

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Speaker 2: will be when Elizabeth has children. I would like to

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Speaker 2: cut contact. I'm sorry you've been hurt, but I do

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Speaker 2: not have the energy to help you come these issues.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to talk about people I don't know, mistreatment,

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Speaker 2: I don't remember or be part of any reunion stories.

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Speaker 2: I would prefer to focus on my own family. But

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Speaker 2: there is a little bit left to the story, any

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Speaker 2: final thoughts.

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Speaker 3: I feel bad me too. It's just she's too much.

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Speaker 3: She came on too quickly, she expected a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's just.

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Speaker 3: Like, dude, I got a wedding to worry about. I

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Speaker 3: don't want to rekindle or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Like, Yeah, it's such more timing for repe and I feel.

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Speaker 3: Like even the timing, like even if they weren't getting

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Speaker 3: married or whatever, like just to like invite yourself over

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Speaker 3: and do all this.

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Speaker 2: It's just went too much. I don't know you like,

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Speaker 2: I don't know. It's weird. Yeah, and inviting your two

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Speaker 2: kids as well, it's too much. Go away, leave us alone.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I like the message that you said it.

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Speaker 3: I think like it's it was very stern.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that it's mean.

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Speaker 3: People could take it as mean, but I just think

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Speaker 3: it was very much like, Okay, yeah, this is this

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Speaker 3: is what has happened. This is how I feel, and

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Speaker 3: this is how I like. This is my solution, this

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Speaker 3: is how to proceed. You know, she can't take it

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Speaker 3: the wrong way.

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Speaker 2: I don't think Jane has told me she didn't have

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Speaker 2: anyone else. I was the last member of her family.

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Speaker 2: I reminded her that her children were her family and

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Speaker 2: she should focus on making friendships. I hung up on her.

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Speaker 2: She has tried calling back multiple times. I blocked her

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Speaker 2: on everything I could think of. I'm gonna have my

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Speaker 2: personal number changed in the next few days. I feel

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Speaker 2: relieved this is done. With final comments, Plastic Venus says,

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Speaker 2: you did the right thing for both of you. The

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Speaker 2: fact that her other siblings cut off contact shows that

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Speaker 2: this lack of boundaries is a broader problem and eventually

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Speaker 2: it would have dragged you down. Whilst it's sad that

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Speaker 2: she's in this position, she's not your responsibility and in

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Speaker 2: fact is leaning dangerously close to being a liability. Hopefully

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Speaker 2: she backs off and leaves you alone. Opie says, I

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Speaker 2: do as well. Jake, my asso doesn't think she will.

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Speaker 2: We have a security ready for her showing up, and

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Speaker 2: my family is aware of everything, and I've blocked her

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Speaker 2: as well, and there we go. All good news. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I would be worried that she would show up at

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Speaker 2: the wedding and invited. If you have security, then we're

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Speaker 2: all good. I don't know. She just seems like a sad,

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Speaker 2: lonely girl.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, doesn't have anyone and is just reaching out for

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Speaker 3: any just strand of family or strand of something like,

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Speaker 3: just to find something. But it's like, girl, good, you

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Speaker 3: can therapist.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, let's reach out to a therapist first. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think that would be great.

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Speaker 3: Then trying to confide and basically strangers.

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Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. And we've got

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Speaker 2: another one coming right up. I promoted my sister's ex

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Speaker 2: after they broke up, and it was not pretty. He's

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Speaker 2: just too good at his jobs. This I forty mail.

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Speaker 3: Am in a weird situation here. My sister, Sarah thirty

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Speaker 3: four female, had been with Josh for three years. I

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Speaker 3: own a business. Without getting too specific, I have eight

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Speaker 3: employees right now, so fairly small. I hired Josh despite

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Speaker 3: him having less experience than typical for a new hire.

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Speaker 3: Originally as a favorite to Sarah, but he was a

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Speaker 3: natural fit from day one. He's been a huge tributor.

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Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Representative Map seven sixty

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Speaker 3: seven and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 3: go to the r slash Okay story Times subreddit. As

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Speaker 3: Opie says, all was fun and dandy until about three

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Speaker 3: months ago, it came out that Josh had been sleeping

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Speaker 3: with Sarah's best friend, Ashley.

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Speaker 2: Ashley is now pregnant.

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Speaker 3: Obviously, Sarah left him is now living with our parents

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Speaker 3: in the house I pay for. He is now engaged

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Speaker 3: to Ashley and living with her. I don't see this lasting.

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Speaker 3: While this was happening, I tried to remain professional with Josh.

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Speaker 3: While I think he's a filthtastic guy, technically.

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Speaker 2: Personal stuff shouldn't be used against him.

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Speaker 3: At work, one of my longest employees, unfortunately, has had

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Speaker 3: some major health complications come up and he unofficially retired,

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Speaker 3: keeping him on the books for insurance, but he won't

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Speaker 3: be working for a while. I hate to say it,

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Speaker 3: but Josh really stepped up in his absence. He's been

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Speaker 3: incredibly essential in keeping us running and successful now more

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Speaker 3: than ever before.

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Speaker 2: Now that it's.

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Speaker 3: Become clear that my other employee won't be coming back

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Speaker 3: anytime soon. I needed to replace him. Josh is the

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Speaker 3: natural candidate, and all my other employees told me to

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Speaker 3: promote him, so I gave it to him with about

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Speaker 3: a fifty percent raise.

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Speaker 2: Actually, he said, I'm not only going to promote you,

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Speaker 2: but also he has a little more money. Fifty percent

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Speaker 2: more is crazy, pretty insane. Wow, did we find out

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Speaker 2: why they broke up again?

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Speaker 3: He was sleeping with their best friend and got her

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Speaker 3: pregnant and is now engaged to her best friend.

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Speaker 2: That was a bad move. I don't know. It's hard

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Speaker 2: because he's.

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Speaker 3: Helping your business. Yeah, and like business and social are

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Speaker 3: very different. But it is a weird situation you've been

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Speaker 3: put in if and I know you didn't put yourself there, but.

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Speaker 2: I gotta say, I feel like if I were in

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Speaker 2: this situation, my brother would not be doing that. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that is like biggest brother betrayal. You can do. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: raise no, no, no, promotion raise all because he's I don't know,

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Speaker 2: I guess I'll need it for that kid. He's gonna

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Speaker 2: have what the person before.

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Speaker 3: Him was making, and he's been flourishing in it. Awkward

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Speaker 3: part about that is Sarah just found out he was

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Speaker 3: promoted from a mutual friend and is livid with me

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Speaker 3: for she gave me an earful as did my parents.

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Speaker 3: And now I'm feeling pretty conflicted. I feel like personal

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Speaker 3: life and professionals should be treated separately, but my family

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Speaker 3: is saying this is different any advice and there is

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Speaker 3: an edit.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest, Yes, this might have been the

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Speaker 2: right move professionally, but your family's not gonna like you

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Speaker 2: for it. And sometimes you kind of have to like

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Speaker 2: make choices like that in life. Do you want your

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Speaker 2: professional life to you know, continue upwards or do you

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Speaker 2: want to make your family happy? And that's literally genuinely

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Speaker 2: the question you have to ask yourself.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and plus like, I don't know because it's also

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Speaker 3: her business, so like and he's helped significantly his OPC guy,

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, it helps with his business. You could hire someone,

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Speaker 3: but they're not going to be as you know, experienced

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Speaker 3: or maybe even successful as this person because they've been

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Speaker 3: there for a while and just know how to do it. Absolutely,

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Speaker 3: it's like the obvious choice, but they also made a

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Speaker 3: horrible move towards your family.

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Speaker 2: I genuinely think you are not in the wrong from

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Speaker 2: a professional standpoint. Yeah, but it doesn't mean your family

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Speaker 2: has to like you for it. It is hard of you.

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Speaker 3: Uh well, there is an edit. They were never married

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Speaker 3: or engaged, just living together, no kids together. I am

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Speaker 3: not firing anyone. He hasn't broke any work roles and

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Speaker 3: that would screw over everyone else who works for me.

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Speaker 3: We do profit sharing, and that would require turning down

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Speaker 3: jobs due to not having bandwidth to take them on.

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Speaker 3: It would also require more hours from anyone. I'm not

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Speaker 3: going to do that as that wouldn't help anybody. People

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Speaker 3: keep saying just hire someone else, but we have a

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Speaker 3: national worker shortage and this is a specialized position. Even

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Speaker 3: if the perfect candidate came in, it would take at

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Speaker 3: least six months to get them to speed, and that's

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Speaker 3: with a candidate with ample experience. We have had open

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Speaker 3: jobs for our entry level roles that we train for

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Speaker 3: four months that aren't getting filled. Pay starts at fifty k.

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Speaker 3: We just haven't had qualified workers applying who are willing

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Speaker 3: to do the work. It is not so simple. Timeline

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Speaker 3: goes like two years ago, hires Josh day one old

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Speaker 3: employee takes short leave, Josh feels in temporarily at first.

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Speaker 3: A couple weeks later this all comes out. Josh is

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Speaker 3: still filling in and doing great. Three weeks later, old

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Speaker 3: employee shares he will not be coming back due to

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Speaker 3: health reasons. All my other employees tell me how great

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Speaker 3: Josh is doing and how much they like working for him.

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Speaker 3: Business is booming, and they tell me how much they

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Speaker 3: think Josh deserves the promotion. Officially, two weeks later, I

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Speaker 3: have to make a decision, so I give him the

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Speaker 3: promotion purely for performance reasons. A couple weeks after that,

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Speaker 3: Sarah finds out and that was in the last week.

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Speaker 2: So he had only been working for a couple weeks

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Speaker 2: with you before you gave him the promotion.

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Speaker 3: But he was filling in, so technically you could replace him,

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Speaker 3: but you're just not getting people to come in. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so and that is hard, Like it's hard to find

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Speaker 3: a replacement, especially in like specific work. I don't know

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Speaker 3: exactly what you do, ope, but it seems like how

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Speaker 3: you're describing it, it's like very specifically specific work that

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Speaker 3: has to do with technical things. It seems so like

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Speaker 3: if you're not in it, it's hard to explain. But

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Speaker 3: also you said that the perfect candidate were to come in,

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Speaker 3: it would take them six months. But it didn't take

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Speaker 3: Josh that much and he had no experience. Yeah, because

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Speaker 3: you're like, yeah, he didn't have any experience, but it

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Speaker 3: was like whatever, he'll learn, and he did learn and

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Speaker 3: now he's doing great.

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Speaker 2: So I feel like I feel like someone else could

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Speaker 2: do it.

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Speaker 3: Someone else could do it, it's just no one has

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Speaker 3: come forward to do it. It is hard because obviously

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Speaker 3: it's your business. You don't want it to just be

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Speaker 3: destroyed just because this guy screwed your sister over.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard. Oh, this is such a puzzle. The

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Speaker 2: thing is like, again, you gotta choose right here between

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Speaker 2: your business and your family.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if you were to fire Josh, you would have

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Speaker 3: to fill that position.

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Speaker 2: If you couldn't fill that position.

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Speaker 3: You're you know, your employees are all going to be overworked.

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Speaker 3: They're probably to be mad because not only did you

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Speaker 3: lose one employee, you're now losing two employees out of

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Speaker 3: the eight that you have, So now you only have

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Speaker 3: six employees trying to do an eight person job. Everyone's

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Speaker 3: gonna be like overworked, tired, exhausted, frustrated, angry, whatever, and

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Speaker 3: it's not like he's doing a bad job either. He

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Speaker 3: just did bad things outside. It's just a bad person. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: there's a difference. So it's this is hard. This is hard,

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Speaker 3: curd underscore one. Let me ask you a hypothetical question.

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Speaker 3: If Josh cheated with your wife or girlfriend being an

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Speaker 3: exemplary employee at the same time.

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Speaker 2: What would you do?

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Speaker 3: Edit my take, You have every right to put your

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Speaker 3: business above your sister, but she has every right to

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Speaker 3: feel portrayed by you. But spare us that bs about

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Speaker 3: supporting her.

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Speaker 2: Completely agree with that comment. Completely agree with that comment

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Speaker 2: because because this is not supporting her, this is you

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Speaker 2: supporting your business. Yeah, which you are allowed to do.

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Speaker 2: But just admit that, Yeah, admit that it's at the

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Speaker 2: expense of your sister.

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Speaker 3: Unfortunately, sorry, sis, but business is booming and I cannot

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Speaker 3: just fire another person.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, And I'm also planning on hiring your ex boyfriend's

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Speaker 2: a fair child. We gonna raise him up.

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Speaker 3: To opie response.

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Speaker 2: Hmm, that really makes me think. He sounds like that's

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Speaker 2: such a business like businessman. Response. That really makes me think.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna think about that while I keep doing what

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Speaker 2: I'm doing.

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Speaker 3: Give me two to five business days. I will think

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Speaker 3: about this and send it in an email titled.

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Speaker 2: My decision that really made me think? That really made

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Speaker 2: me my final decision SIS or work.

403
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Speaker 3: I feel like I wouldn't be able to be objective

404
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Speaker 3: in that situation, so I would make the emotional decision

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Speaker 3: to fire him. I don't know if that would actually

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Speaker 3: be an ethical business decision, though being a little more

407
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:49,080
Speaker 3: removed from the situation, it's easier to be objective. Light

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Speaker 3: Observer says Josh has demonstrated poor ethics as a person,

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Speaker 3: it should make you at least question his ethics when

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Speaker 3: it comes to your business as well. Opie response. Thing is,

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Speaker 3: despite how bad of a boyfriend he was, he's never

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Speaker 3: messed up at work. I worry about the message it

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Speaker 3: sends to the rest of the team that personal life

414
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Speaker 3: problems endanger your job. I've had a lot of employees

415
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Speaker 3: over the years have relationships and marriages fail at times. Realistically,

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Speaker 3: some have probably cheated, But I've never disciplined someone for

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Speaker 3: how they handle their personal relationships.

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Speaker 2: It's not about that. It's not about that. It's about

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Speaker 2: the fact that this guy cheated on your sister weeks

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Speaker 2: after you promote him, after he already does, so he starts,

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Speaker 2: then a couple of weeks later cheats on your sister.

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Speaker 2: Then a couple of weeks later, you promote him. That's

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Speaker 2: the issue here, that's the issue, and it has nothing

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Speaker 2: to do with Oh I fire everyone who cheats on someone. See.

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Speaker 3: The thing is, if the promotion wasn't up for grabs,

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Speaker 3: like say, this guy didn't get sick or whatever, and

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Speaker 3: we wouldn't have he wouldn't have promoted him. So he

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Speaker 3: have gotten the promotion or would he have just gotten fired?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? What would you have done if that guy hadn't left? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: it just looks bad.

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Speaker 3: The promotion looks really bad after all of that happened. Yep,

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Speaker 3: that just seems wrong to me. If I had just

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Speaker 3: hired him, it'd be one thing. But he's worked for

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Speaker 3: me for two years without.

435
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:09,960
Speaker 2: Okay two years?

436
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,680
Speaker 3: That did we not read the timeline right?

437
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 2: I don't understand the timeline?

438
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 1: Then?

439
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, back to the timeline.

440
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:23,240
Speaker 3: Go back in time. Oh, okay, two years ago, hires

441
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 3: Josh oh old employee takes short leave.

442
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,879
Speaker 2: It is a couple of weeks into his We just

443
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,920
Speaker 2: didn't realize how long it had been. But a couple

444
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 2: of weeks into working there, he cheats on Opie's sister, so.

445
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,359
Speaker 3: He hires him day one. He already is like taking

446
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,840
Speaker 3: this position, yes, and then a couple weeks later finds

447
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 3: out he's cheating, and then three weeks after that the

448
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:51,000
Speaker 3: old employees like can't come back, and so then he's like,

449
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,400
Speaker 3: two weeks later, I'm going to promote him.

450
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:56,600
Speaker 2: That's the crazy thing to me, looking back at the timeline.

451
00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:59,439
Speaker 2: We went back in time, we checked the facts. He

452
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 2: didn't know that the guy was leaving until after Josh

453
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 2: had already cheated, right, Yes, so it wasn't even an issue.

454
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 2: You kept him on after the fact. That's kind of

455
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,440
Speaker 2: a crazy thing to me. That's true. Yeah, I problem,

456
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:16,840
Speaker 2: and maybe maybe you couldn't have legally done that, but

457
00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 2: like you haven't said that, you haven't told us. I

458
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,159
Speaker 2: don't know you would have to like fire him with

459
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,440
Speaker 2: cause or whatever. So that feels like to me, that's

460
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:26,359
Speaker 2: not an issue.

461
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,919
Speaker 3: I also didn't think of it like legally how it

462
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,479
Speaker 3: could go because you can't just fire someone with no cause. Yeah, so,

463
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,680
Speaker 3: or you can literally get sued and blah blah blah

464
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 3: all that.

465
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,440
Speaker 2: But op hasn't said that's an issue. So I wonder

466
00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,720
Speaker 2: if he can do that, and he just didn't want to.

467
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,360
Speaker 2: Turbulent being fifty two twelve says, come on, dude, if

468
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 2: your sister employed someone.

469
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 3: Who your wife cheated with, you would feel betrayed. You're

470
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:54,399
Speaker 3: willing to be unethical for yourself, but not for your sister.

471
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:58,000
Speaker 3: Your argument is personal versus professional life doesn't stand up.

472
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 3: You're using it as a crutch. And why exactly are

473
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,960
Speaker 3: you not emotional here? Your little sister got extremely hurt

474
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 3: by someone. It's crazy you're so objective. My take is

475
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 3: that you're her big brother. You're supposed to protect her

476
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,080
Speaker 3: and be in her corner. If someone had cheated on me,

477
00:22:13,280 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 3: I think it would be difficult to keep my brothers

478
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 3: from not beating him to a pulp, let alone giving

479
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 3: the dude promotions and being all buddy buddy with him.

480
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, how are you treating him while he's in office?

481
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:25,719
Speaker 3: Yeah?

482
00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:28,399
Speaker 2: You know, because if you're giving a promotion that feels

483
00:22:28,400 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 2: like you're working fairly close with him, are you? Are

484
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:34,199
Speaker 2: you been all buddy buddy? Are you like, hey, Josh

485
00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 2: my guy? Ah? Not a great day from the joshure.

486
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 2: Excellent work in all areas of your life, Josh, especially

487
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,480
Speaker 2: with my sister. Screw don't like my sister. And also

488
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 2: his whole spiel about being objective feels untrue. I think

489
00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 2: he just cares more. I think like the emotional thing

490
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,119
Speaker 2: for him is that he cares more about his business.

491
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 3: Which is okay, you're allowed to care about your business

492
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 3: like that. That's where your money's coming from, that's where

493
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:05,119
Speaker 3: you know, that's where you're banking a living.

494
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,359
Speaker 2: Just be honest about it. It's just at the expense

495
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 2: of your sister.

496
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:11,439
Speaker 3: You're telling me there's not one person out there that

497
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,320
Speaker 3: could do his job. There's not one person you could

498
00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:17,560
Speaker 3: bring in and train. Maybe inconvenient in the short term,

499
00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 3: but more inconvenient in the long term to have a

500
00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:24,000
Speaker 3: crappy relationship with your sister because of some dude. As

501
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 3: for the legal aspect, do what big businesses do. Treat

502
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:30,080
Speaker 3: him crappy enough that he leaves.

503
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 2: On his own.

504
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,679
Speaker 3: Oh, certainly, don't promote him, increase his quality of life

505
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 3: on your dime, and then expect your sister to swallow

506
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,720
Speaker 3: it down and not feel betrayed. Op responds, he was

507
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:44,200
Speaker 3: already filling in doing that job before all this came out,

508
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,479
Speaker 3: and he was doing it better than the person before.

509
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,280
Speaker 3: The hiring market is tough right now to find someone

510
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 3: with this experience. I definitely felt conflicted, but the rest

511
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 3: of my team was bouging for how well he's doing

512
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 3: and how much they like working for him. I do

513
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 3: feel bad for my sister, but my business supports seven

514
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 3: and other employees. Livelihoods supports my wife and three kids,

515
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,600
Speaker 3: and my parents, who's housing expenses I pay for so

516
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 3: indirectly pain to house my sister currently since my dad

517
00:24:10,280 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 3: is on disability. It's not black and white. I understand

518
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,680
Speaker 3: my sister is hurt. At this point, I'm more asking

519
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 3: how I can help do damage control.

520
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 2: Because I actually don't care about anything that you guys

521
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 2: are saying about me betraying my sister. But what can

522
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:25,960
Speaker 2: I do where I still get what I want and

523
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 2: also no one's mad at me for it? It's exactly it.

524
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,560
Speaker 3: Yes, though, I think giving her space is the right

525
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 3: move now so she can cool off. A deleted response. Look,

526
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 3: you can't fire him for personal reasons. Your sister and

527
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 3: your family will be pissed at you for that, and

528
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:43,159
Speaker 3: with good reason. You can't possibly deny that. Try talking

529
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 3: with your sister and family on what you can compromise

530
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 3: with them. I'm sure you've already explained that you made

531
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 3: your decision purely on business reasons, and firing slash demoting

532
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,359
Speaker 3: him is off the table given that you can be

533
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 3: sued for that info. Have you talked to Josh about

534
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,160
Speaker 3: the issue with your sister? In hindsight, never mixed family

535
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 3: in business again, Opie responds, I talked to him once

536
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,679
Speaker 3: when it all came out. He apologized and told me

537
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 3: he fell in love with the other woman. I told

538
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,880
Speaker 3: him I don't want to hear about that or ever

539
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,800
Speaker 3: discuss this matter at work, and then all conversations from

540
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:15,760
Speaker 3: here on out would be strictly professional. He has abided

541
00:25:15,800 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 3: by that since as a rule, I don't discuss the

542
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 3: two of them with each other, no matter what. The

543
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,880
Speaker 3: consensus is not the a hole and there is an update.

544
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't like you, though, I don't know.

545
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,199
Speaker 2: I'm kind of on ops side. I don't think that

546
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 2: Opie's necessarily doing the wrong thing. I just don't like him.

547
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,840
Speaker 3: I just feel bad that he's the one making all

548
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,679
Speaker 3: the money that he has a wife and kids to

549
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 3: provide for. He also has all these other employees to

550
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:45,120
Speaker 3: provide for feels like an excuse to.

551
00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:47,920
Speaker 2: Me, that's what do you mean that? That's not excuse,

552
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:52,480
Speaker 2: Like it feels like he's just saying, Oh, I get

553
00:25:52,480 --> 00:25:53,840
Speaker 2: a new person. I don't want to do the work

554
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,760
Speaker 2: to get a new person. Well, yeah, because it's hard

555
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 2: because he said that. The Yeah, I feel that this

556
00:25:57,720 --> 00:25:58,360
Speaker 2: doesn't want to do.

557
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:02,000
Speaker 3: The work the business or the like hiring market is

558
00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,120
Speaker 3: really bad right now.

559
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 2: I don't believe him. I don't buy it. I mean,

560
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:07,800
Speaker 2: he didn't even apply for the job.

561
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:10,720
Speaker 3: Sister vowed for him. Was like, Hey, he's looking for

562
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,199
Speaker 3: a job, can you do it? And it's like maybe,

563
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,960
Speaker 3: I guess, And then all that happens and it's like, yeah, Yi.

564
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 2: You can do whatever you want. Opie, You're doing the

565
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:22,160
Speaker 2: right thing business wise. I'll tell you that. That's all

566
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 2: I say. Update.

567
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 3: Saturday night, we had a family dinner where my parents

568
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 3: and Sarah are living. We didn't talk about the subject

569
00:26:28,359 --> 00:26:30,920
Speaker 3: of the last post during dinner, but Sarah was being

570
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 3: noticeably short with me, to the point that my son's noticed.

571
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 3: After dinner, I asked to speak in private, to which

572
00:26:36,320 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 3: she obliged. I reiterated to her that my actions with

573
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 3: Josh were purely about business and had nothing to do

574
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 3: with her. She told me she knows that, and she

575
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 3: was embarrassed at her reaction. It's just been a few

576
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 3: really crappy months for her.

577
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,400
Speaker 2: Oh dang wow. Yeah, I like her and I still

578
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:51,919
Speaker 2: don't like you.

579
00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 3: Basically, she told me she hates her job, is now

580
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 3: single and missing her former best friend, and now she's

581
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 3: having some anxiety about never finding someone before she's too

582
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,960
Speaker 3: old to have kids. And meanwhile everything just keeps seeming

583
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,120
Speaker 3: to get better for her.

584
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 2: Ex.

585
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 3: I have to say that really was sad to hear

586
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,919
Speaker 3: from her. I told her I'm always here for her

587
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,840
Speaker 3: and asked her what ideally she'd like to do work wise. Well,

588
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,680
Speaker 3: it turns out, without getting too specific, what she would

589
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 3: ideally like to do is something that one of my

590
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,360
Speaker 3: best friends has a business and needs someone to do

591
00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:25,359
Speaker 3: that function. That friend owes me some favors for a

592
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 3: jam I got them out of in the past, so

593
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 3: I told her I'd see what I can do. Well,

594
00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 3: they connected Monday and really hit it off. They offered

595
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 3: her a full time position that she will now be

596
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 3: starting in two weeks. She'll be making more money with

597
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:39,440
Speaker 3: better benefits doing something she's always wanted to do. Also,

598
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:41,720
Speaker 3: on Sunday, we actually went to the amusement park with

599
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,879
Speaker 3: my kids and her and I had a bit of

600
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 3: a family day.

601
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 2: Okay, somehow you got it so that everything worked out

602
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,920
Speaker 2: for you, and you know what, I'm impressed somehow you

603
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 2: did it, and I'm glad that you finally helped your sister.

604
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 2: I feel like maybe you could have talked to her

605
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: a while ago and then you wouldn't have had all

606
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 2: these problems, but you didn't, and you finally talked to her.

607
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 3: All right, we're right at the end.

608
00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 2: Oh boy.

609
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:09,120
Speaker 3: She said that was great therapy for her, and what

610
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,320
Speaker 3: she needed was to get out of the house my

611
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 3: parents are living in, as she was just feeling sorry

612
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 3: for herself there. She's looking at apartments this week and

613
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:18,280
Speaker 3: is hoping to find one near me as she loves

614
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 3: hanging out. I'm not talking for you babysitting with her nephews. Sorry,

615
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,879
Speaker 3: this isn't the juicy updates some people who were saying

616
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 3: she's going to go absolutely no contact with me. We're expecting,

617
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,760
Speaker 3: but it was a happy update. Nonetheless, I'm really excited

618
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 3: for her to start a new job, as I think

619
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,400
Speaker 3: she'll be much happier there, and she has a lot

620
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 3: to offer, so I'm sure she'll find someone as soon

621
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,959
Speaker 3: as she's ready to start dating again. There are some

622
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 3: more comments. Mad for It says the only scenario where

623
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 3: I would be more on your side on this one

624
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 3: is if your country slash state laws do not permit

625
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 3: firing without just cause. I agree, example, as retribution for

626
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 3: his actions in his personal life. Committing a violation against

627
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,840
Speaker 3: an employee protection Act and putting your business as risk

628
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 3: of actual damage, not just the inconvenience of losing a

629
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 3: good employee who you have no replacement for at the moment,

630
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 3: is a different situation entirely, Opie responds. When I manage

631
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 3: my business, I like to look at situations objectively. Firing

632
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 3: Josh would have been purely revenge and would hurt him, myself,

633
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 3: his future child, who has done nothing wrong, and the

634
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:19,200
Speaker 3: rest of my employees. It also wouldn't have helped anyone.

635
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 3: Sarah and I talked about it, and she conceded that

636
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 3: it wouldn't have actually helped anyone or anything either. We're

637
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 3: all good now. I'd rather focus my energies towards helping

638
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 3: people and accomplishing goals than hurting people out of retribution,

639
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 3: and Sarah agrees.

640
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess you won this time, OPI, OPI. I

641
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,120
Speaker 2: don't know. I was on your side kind of the

642
00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,840
Speaker 2: whole time. I wasn't, but it worked out for you.

643
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 2: So yeah, I was on Sarah's side, and Sarah's cool.

644
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 3: Now, I'm glad that there was like a lot of

645
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:48,080
Speaker 3: communication throughout this and figuring out and being like, you know,

646
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 3: I feel remorseful, but like if I fire him, like

647
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,120
Speaker 3: that's putting so many.

648
00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 2: Other people in a horrible position as well. You know,

649
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 2: that's fair.

650
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,320
Speaker 3: I'm glad that you kind of you know, you had

651
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 3: this talk, this heart to heart and every think's good

652
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 3: and she's getting out and she's doing it and you.

653
00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 2: Also helped her.

654
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:05,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you helped her and you did her.

655
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 2: I debate that it worked out happily ever apped her. Really,

656
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 2: I would still kind of give Josh a glare in

657
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 2: the office every once in a while. Oh yeah, Josh,

658
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,640
Speaker 2: screw him. He's horrible. But anyway, that's the end of

659
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 2: that story. We got another one camera at it.

660
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon, your favorite Filipino here. We're going to

661
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 1: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of

662
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors.

663
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 2: I asked my daughter to share her gifts with her stepsister.

664
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 2: It didn't go well. Maybe she doesn't want to share.

665
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 2: I forty female, was a single mother to my daughter

666
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 2: Amy fifteen female. I came out three years ago and

667
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,600
Speaker 2: married my wife, Jenna forty two female. Last year she

668
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,640
Speaker 2: had a daughter, Nora, thirteen female. We all lived together

669
00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:45,840
Speaker 2: as I have full custody of my daughter. It was

670
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:48,360
Speaker 2: kind of hard for her to adjust having a second mom,

671
00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 2: but they got along well. By the way, this comes

672
00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 2: from Emotional Duty fifty to fifty one and if you

673
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

674
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime. Supared at ENDOPI said, the girls have

675
00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 2: their birthdays very close, only two days apart, so we

676
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 2: decided to have a joint birthday party for both of them.

677
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 2: Since Nora had a hard time making new friends, they

678
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:09,360
Speaker 2: moved in with us, and she's very shy. Most of

679
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 2: my family lives out of the country, so the gifts

680
00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 2: were sent a week early. It was a huge bag

681
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,239
Speaker 2: with at least twenty gifts. The party was nice and

682
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,080
Speaker 2: we opened the bag at night. Once everyone left, Jenna

683
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,640
Speaker 2: handed out the presence as she took them out. After

684
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: twelve gifts in a row just for Amy, I jacked

685
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 2: the bag and froze to see that there were only

686
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 2: one gift for Nora from my parents. If you pretended

687
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 2: it wasn't a big deal. But as she opened the present,

688
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 2: I saw her face fall. It was a fifteen dollars

689
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 2: tumbler from Walmart. Not to sound ungrateful, but Amy's gifts

690
00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,680
Speaker 2: were much more expensive. Lots of gift cards over one

691
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 2: hundred dollars, a new phone. Who got her a new phone?

692
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,680
Speaker 2: She gets a phone. This girl gets a tumbler, limited

693
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 2: fun funkos design her clothes, and lots of cards wishing

694
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 2: her a happy birthday. Needless to say, I blew up

695
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:00,680
Speaker 2: in the family chat, calling out my pairs and siblings

696
00:32:00,680 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 2: and extended family who sent gifts for not considering Nora

697
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 2: and my parents for the cheap gift. No one took

698
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:09,200
Speaker 2: me seriously, since it's not her duty to give gifts

699
00:32:09,240 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 2: to someone else's kids, and Amy deserved them since I

700
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:15,560
Speaker 2: didn't even throw her own birthday party, emphasizing that Jenna

701
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 2: and Nora are my problem, not theirs. Noura was clearly

702
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:21,840
Speaker 2: hurt since it's not the first time my family has

703
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 2: left her out at night. I asked Amy to share

704
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 2: some of the gifts with her stepsister, not all of them,

705
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 2: just a couple of gift cards and some of the

706
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 2: new clothes. Amy refused. This surprised me, since she never

707
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,400
Speaker 2: had a problem with sharing, and even though she and

708
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 2: Nora are not BFFs, they usually get along. After asking why,

709
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 2: Amy started crying, saying that she never wanted a joint

710
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 2: birthday party and that I forced her to share everything

711
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 2: with Nora. That is really fair of her to say,

712
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 2: because they are two different people.

713
00:32:50,640 --> 00:32:52,680
Speaker 3: And that's why I feel bad. Like when I, you know,

714
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,760
Speaker 3: was with the twins and everything, they will never have

715
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 3: like they'll always have a joint yeah, And I'm like,

716
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 3: and they always get just the same things from everyone.

717
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 3: It's like, Okay, I got a shirt, you got a shirt.

718
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,440
Speaker 3: I got, you know, football gloves, you got football gloves.

719
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:10,960
Speaker 3: I got you know, a car, like a remote car.

720
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 3: You got a remote car.

721
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 2: It's the same gifts. They just both have to have them.

722
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,200
Speaker 2: Why would you even need two of the gifts anyway? Yeah, exactly, Yeah,

723
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:18,040
Speaker 2: probably just share.

724
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:20,320
Speaker 3: No, they like they that was a thing they like.

725
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 3: They were very much like, no, they each need to

726
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 3: have like their own thing. Like they don't share, even

727
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 3: like food, Like if we had like like if I

728
00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 3: would make fruit or something and just like cut it

729
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 3: up for them, they I would have to put it

730
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 3: on separate plates for them to eat, like they won't

731
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 3: just like pick out, you know whatever. Like yeah, they're

732
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,959
Speaker 3: like no, no, no, they need their own I don't know,

733
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 3: but now they don't share. So yeah, I guess make

734
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:43,440
Speaker 3: to make them feel individual or something, but they don't

735
00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 3: even like if you know, say I gave them the

736
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,640
Speaker 3: wrong things and like I switched it, they wouldn't eat it.

737
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 3: They're like, no, you gave it to him, you gave

738
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 3: it to him.

739
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 2: I'm not touching that. I'd be like that's ridiculous. They

740
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 2: share a room for space, and I make sure they're

741
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 2: both invited to the same parties and sleepovers so that

742
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 2: Nora won't be left out. I'm just going back really quick. Yeah,

743
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 2: there is a two year age gap. Nora is thirteen,

744
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:09,080
Speaker 2: Amy is fifteen. If I were fifteen, I don't know

745
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 2: if I would want a thirteen year old come in

746
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 2: to all of the same events as me. That's true, Like, yeah,

747
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 2: they're sisters, but Amy probably wants to hang out with

748
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:19,680
Speaker 2: her own friends.

749
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:22,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, just because Nora is like, you know, like a

750
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 3: little shy and a little more introverted, doesn't mean that

751
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:29,000
Speaker 3: you should also put Amy at that expenses exactly and

752
00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 3: now have Amy share all of her friends with Nora.

753
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,200
Speaker 3: You know, like, it's not fair in that way. They

754
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 3: both have individual identities. You can't just because it works

755
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 3: for you, guys, just do a joint birthday. Like, No,

756
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:41,919
Speaker 3: they're two different people.

757
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 2: And they also don't even have the same birthday. I

758
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,359
Speaker 2: wouldn't have done the joint birthday. Yeah, if they don't

759
00:34:46,360 --> 00:34:49,640
Speaker 2: invite both of them, then neither of them goes. That's

760
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 2: so messed up. Yeah, what that genuinely is Really you're

761
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 2: the a hole for that. Op. Amy can't hang out

762
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:58,319
Speaker 2: with her friends because her sister, who hasn't I mean

763
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,799
Speaker 2: stepsister hasn't even been in her life that long. It

764
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 2: wasn't invited. Amy stated that she at least wanted her

765
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 2: own gifts to be hers alone. I scolded her for

766
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:10,080
Speaker 2: being selfish with her stepsister, grounded her, and took a

767
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,439
Speaker 2: couple of the presents to give to Nora. You're an ale,

768
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,280
Speaker 2: she turned them now because she didn't want problems with Amy,

769
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 2: and it felt like pity. It was this was you

770
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 2: giving her pity gifts exactly.

771
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like, no, I want her included, I'm

772
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 3: taking your stuff, when that was just that's her stuff,

773
00:35:25,680 --> 00:35:28,080
Speaker 3: like you know, and it's her birthday and Bertha two

774
00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,279
Speaker 3: years apart, and you know, that's her family. You can't

775
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 3: expect her family to give your extended family, you know,

776
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:38,359
Speaker 3: gifts as what like I need my parents would but

777
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 3: that's just you know, they don't want anyone to go without.

778
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 2: Absolutely, But like would your parents get like, let's say

779
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 2: your parents knew someone for maybe two years, would they

780
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,920
Speaker 2: give them the same amount of gifts as they give you?

781
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:53,240
Speaker 2: Oh no, I mean like I would have more exactly. Yeah.

782
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,520
Speaker 2: So I totally understand why you're upset that Nora's feeling

783
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 2: left out, and to a certain extent, I think that

784
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,560
Speaker 2: she was left out, which is not okay. But there

785
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:04,200
Speaker 2: is going to be a difference because Nora hasn't been

786
00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 2: in the family's life for very long in that and.

787
00:36:07,520 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 3: I don't even know if they've met Nora because they

788
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:12,400
Speaker 3: said that all most of her families out of the country.

789
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, like so have they all even met Nora? So

790
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:16,840
Speaker 2: it's like they don't. They aren't close with her. They

791
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,280
Speaker 2: don't really know much about what she likes.

792
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 3: Probably yeah, oh I'm sure, yeah, And so it's like

793
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 3: there's not really a relationship there, so they don't owe

794
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:26,800
Speaker 3: that to her. But like obviously it is like a

795
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 3: nice thing to do, yeah, to send something, but obviously

796
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,799
Speaker 3: the ones that you have a special relationships, last connection with,

797
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 3: like those are the ones you're going to go above

798
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,800
Speaker 3: and beyond exactly exactly.

799
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:39,879
Speaker 2: They're not going to send Nora, a girl they don't

800
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,919
Speaker 2: know a iPhone. It's like how I think.

801
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:44,920
Speaker 3: Of it as like, okay, so like my parents like

802
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 3: will give all of us like presents for Christmas and

803
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 3: then but she also gives all of the cousins like

804
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,399
Speaker 3: presents for Christmas, but each of them just gets like one. Yes,

805
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,880
Speaker 3: but I obviously, like everyone in my family gets you know,

806
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 3: like ten or something. You know, it just really depends

807
00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 3: like how expensive or whatever. But like like I feel

808
00:37:01,560 --> 00:37:04,360
Speaker 3: like that's that makes sense. That's reasonable, Like, yeah, you

809
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 3: don't have to give as much to them as you

810
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 3: do to me, since I am your child.

811
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 2: And if Noor feels left out, than you and her mom,

812
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,640
Speaker 2: as the parents need to go above and beyond for her. Yeah,

813
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 2: not just steal Amy's gifts.

814
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you can't just like expect the family to

815
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 3: just do that for you.

816
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,839
Speaker 2: You know. Since then, Amy has been cold to all

817
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 2: of us. I just want my two girls to be

818
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 2: closer with the joint party and I have the same

819
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:35,120
Speaker 2: things am I the ale Yeah, and we discussed it. Clarification,

820
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 2: Jen and I bought gifts for the girls their own

821
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:41,320
Speaker 2: tablets as well as their friends. Nora also receive gifts

822
00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,439
Speaker 2: from her extended family, but they sent for Amy as well.

823
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 2: How many did they send Amy? Though? Update? I didn't

824
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 2: answer many questions in the comments because seeing the number

825
00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 2: of replies, I decided to make an update once things

826
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,160
Speaker 2: calm down. I admit and accept that I haven't been

827
00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:59,360
Speaker 2: the best mom to Amy. I love my daughter, but

828
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 2: I always want wanted a bigger family and was desperate

829
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 2: to make it work. You were actively making it not work.

830
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 2: I also accept that I favored Nora as I want

831
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 2: her to recognize me as her mom's partner or stepmom.

832
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 2: I talked to my wife and she agrees that I

833
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 2: forced too much on the girls to share in being

834
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,839
Speaker 2: sisters to the point of being ridiculous with my both

835
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 2: of them aren't invited, neither of them goes rule. At first,

836
00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 2: she was okay with Amy including Nora and her friend group,

837
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 2: as she was always very shy and we didn't want

838
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 2: her to be lone. But with the rule, I basically

839
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:31,839
Speaker 2: made Amy Nora's babysitter. In fact, I didn't know this.

840
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 2: Amy went to her crying after I took away her

841
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,200
Speaker 2: presence and doesn't feel that I love her anymore. It

842
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 2: made me cry. I thought we were a happy family.

843
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 2: Later I talked to Amy, begged her forgiveness and promised

844
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,920
Speaker 2: that I would do things right from now on. She

845
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,839
Speaker 2: forgave me very quickly. See it was that easy, Opie,

846
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,080
Speaker 2: was that easy. She just wanted you to listen to her.

847
00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 2: I also asked how she really feels about the blended family.

848
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:56,160
Speaker 2: She said that she really likes Jenna, but doesn't feel

849
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,480
Speaker 2: anything special towards Nora. I thought they loved each other

850
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 2: and out not they barely tolerate each other. I asked

851
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 2: her why, and Amy said, I've only known her for

852
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:08,520
Speaker 2: a year and she's kind of weird. Later I talked

853
00:39:08,560 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 2: to Nora to apologize for the party and everything else

854
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 2: she was upset, but she also forgave me. Nora also

855
00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:16,720
Speaker 2: confirmed that they don't really care about each other. They're

856
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 2: just polite because they live together. Based on everything that happened,

857
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,799
Speaker 2: we're starting to make some changes. We're going to move

858
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 2: Amy into the basement. Since the house is small and

859
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 2: there's only two rooms, she chose to have it as

860
00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 2: her bedroom. We'll throw Amy her own party next month,

861
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,160
Speaker 2: as she wanted. Nora didn't want to have one, and

862
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 2: needless to say that if both of them aren't invited,

863
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:40,279
Speaker 2: neither of them goes. Rule no longer exists. There is

864
00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:43,280
Speaker 2: a little bit left to this story. Any final thoughts.

865
00:39:43,400 --> 00:39:45,240
Speaker 2: I think it was a real eye opener for opio.

866
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm glad that you took the advice of

867
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 3: others of just being like, dude, you can't just control.

868
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 3: You can't just be like, yeah, you're gonna be friends

869
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,000
Speaker 3: and you're gonna like it, and your friends are gonna

870
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,520
Speaker 3: come and I you don't have any but like you

871
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 3: can go in with them and if like you don't

872
00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:06,479
Speaker 3: want you, then no one's having anything. Like that's way

873
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 3: too controlling. It's giving Helicopter Mom agree, and I just don't.

874
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:14,439
Speaker 3: That's never a good thing. Control, Like you can have control, Yes,

875
00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:16,880
Speaker 3: control is like a good thing sometimes, but not over

876
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:20,040
Speaker 3: control to being like you have to love your sister

877
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 3: after knowing her for a year.

878
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you push that, they're not gonna you know,

879
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 2: they're gonna like each other even less. Oh exactly.

880
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 3: That's like those kids that, like, you know, very strict

881
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,920
Speaker 3: parents are like you only do this, you can't go here,

882
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 3: you can't do that, blah bah blah, and then they

883
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 3: end up being so sneaky because it's like like I,

884
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:37,600
Speaker 3: you don't let me do anything, and this is the

885
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,359
Speaker 3: only time I can go out and.

886
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:41,000
Speaker 2: Get experience and explore and whatever.

887
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:43,759
Speaker 3: So it's like I'm gonna do it, and now I'm

888
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,200
Speaker 3: doing it in an unsafe way.

889
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 2: But We've got a little bit left. I'm proud that

890
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 2: my girls found the place in their hearts to give

891
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,680
Speaker 2: me a second chance. And according to some advice I

892
00:40:52,719 --> 00:40:54,840
Speaker 2: read in the comments, it was wrong of me to

893
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,879
Speaker 2: force them to be a family immediately. You can't force love.

894
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,800
Speaker 2: I should know that better than anyone, and I'm ashamed

895
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:03,680
Speaker 2: of my actions. They've been spending more time together lately,

896
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,640
Speaker 2: but I won't force anything. Their relationship is up to them.

897
00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 2: I don't know if this is what you expected from

898
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 2: the comments. Most people expected Amy to go live with

899
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,840
Speaker 2: my parents, go no contact with me in the future,

900
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 2: or that Jenna would divorce me and take them both.

901
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,400
Speaker 2: I started going to therapy a few weeks ago to

902
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,000
Speaker 2: work on my problems and hopefully be a better mother

903
00:41:21,239 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 2: and wife for my family. Even if the comments we're

904
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 2: a bit harsh, I appreciate the interest and help. I

905
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: honestly think you needed some marsh comments. Yeah, I think

906
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,400
Speaker 2: you needed a wake up call. But that is the

907
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:35,960
Speaker 2: end of that story. And we've got some comments of Hey,

908
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:40,479
Speaker 2: it's Angie, your favorite fake redhead host here, and we're

909
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,239
Speaker 2: going to get back to the stories. But here's a

910
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:46,160
Speaker 2: three minute ad break from our sponsors. And these comments

911
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:48,320
Speaker 2: are from the story My mother's boyfriend made me realize

912
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 2: how insecure my stepmother is. And this was posted February thirteenth,

913
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:56,480
Speaker 2: twenty twenty six TLDR. For story one, Opie grew up

914
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:59,840
Speaker 2: feeling unwanted in her dad's house because his stepmom treated

915
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 2: her like she did not belong. She was left out

916
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 2: of family trips, pushed out of Christmas photos and even

917
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,440
Speaker 2: called a weekend daughter. Oh. Her dad kept pictures of

918
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 2: her hidden in his office, but never truly stood up

919
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,279
Speaker 2: for When her mom's boyfriend showed her what real care

920
00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 2: looks like, Opie realized the way she was treated was

921
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:20,080
Speaker 2: not normal. After one more Christmas without her, she finally

922
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,560
Speaker 2: confronted her dad. He chose his wife over her, so

923
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 2: Opie made a choice too. She walked away from the

924
00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 2: house and said she'll not come back as long as

925
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,279
Speaker 2: her stepmom is there. If you're curious to know the

926
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 2: full story, you can go watch the full video. We've

927
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,239
Speaker 2: got a comment from Flagirl Medick, who says, as a

928
00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 2: stepmom in a stepmom group, I don't know what group

929
00:42:38,239 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 2: she's talking about, but the one I'm in would absolutely

930
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:44,800
Speaker 2: tear into the stepmom for treating Ope like that. My

931
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 2: step sons are my sons too. It breaks my heart

932
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 2: that people are out there justifying treating a child this way.

933
00:42:51,320 --> 00:42:55,920
Speaker 2: And joyata Ja says the seventeen year old gal should

934
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 2: be proud she's dealing with the father stuff. At seventeen,

935
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 2: I pushed it down until my forties and comment for

936
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 2: from smile fifty to ten, I would be livid if

937
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 2: my partner prioritize me over our daughter. Bom Mariana says,

938
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:14,719
Speaker 2: I've always thought your spouse should come first, but that

939
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 2: only works if you actually choose a good one, someone

940
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,400
Speaker 2: who isn't selfish, isn't greedy, and would never put your

941
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 2: kids in a bad spot. If you don't have that,

942
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 2: the whole thing doesn't work. When your priorities are clear,

943
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:27,400
Speaker 2: you can look at situations more in the sense of

944
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:29,920
Speaker 2: it as a want or a neat And just because

945
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 2: your spouse comes first doesn't mean your kids come last.

946
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,760
Speaker 2: It just means you value both parties. You protect your kids,

947
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:38,239
Speaker 2: you support your partner, and you make choices that are

948
00:43:38,280 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 2: good for the whole family. And that is the end

949
00:43:40,239 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 2: of that story and those comments and the end of

950
00:43:42,920 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 2: this episode. So if you love us, make sure to subscribe,

951
00:43:45,640 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: and we love you and see you tomorrow.