Speaker 1: Help We Suck at Being Newlywed and Jared Haven and
Speaker 1: I Heart Radio Podcast. Welcome everybody, Happy Valentine's Day. You
Speaker 1: might be asking yourself, what the heck am I listening
Speaker 1: to right now? We'll let me set the record straight,
Speaker 1: because Jared probably didn't do a very good job last
Speaker 1: week on Help I Suck It. They tried, but they
Speaker 1: said that I teased too much. I put too much
Speaker 1: in the trailer, so they took some out. Well, let's
Speaker 1: set the record straight. Sure, you might have seen this
Speaker 1: podcast pop up. Maybe you just stumbled upon it. Maybe
Speaker 1: however you got here. First of all, we appreciate you
Speaker 1: being here. But why is it called not called Help
Speaker 1: I Suck It Dating? And I know, isn't that sad?
Speaker 1: There's no more Help I Suck a Dating? Yeah, so
Speaker 1: that's official. Jared announced it last week on Help I
Speaker 1: Suck A Dating? That that was the last episode of
Speaker 1: Help I Suck It Dating? What a run? And I
Speaker 1: wasn't even there for it, which is so fitting. I think, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it worked out pretty well what I wasn't there for it?
Speaker 1: Quick little history of Help I Suck It Dating? Just
Speaker 1: for those do we even want to talk about this
Speaker 1: or do we want to jump into this new format?
Speaker 1: I said, we just jump right into the new form.
Speaker 1: And everybody who's Whoevers listening to this probably listening to
Speaker 1: help us, like just hoping we could take a quick
Speaker 1: trick down memory lane. But I understand what the whole
Speaker 1: hands we can do it. I understand if we don't
Speaker 1: want to do that. Yes, So, as we're trying our
Speaker 1: best to allude to, we have a new podcast, new name,
Speaker 1: most importantly an incredible new co host. Um you will
Speaker 1: get introduced to her in just a second. Our new
Speaker 1: podcast name is help we suck at being newlyweds? Because
Speaker 1: I guess we just don't suck at dating anymore. No,
Speaker 1: I mean your newly weds. I am not a newly
Speaker 1: weed anymore. I'm curious if I sucked at being a newlywed.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I mean I I made it
Speaker 1: to the Altar, so how badly could have sucked? Can I?
Speaker 1: Can we just also back up and help to find
Speaker 1: newlywed because you're going to introduce me please? Okay, we're
Speaker 1: just building the anticipation. You didn't make it to the
Speaker 1: Altar as a newlywed. You left the Altar. Yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1: And so technically me in this great new co host
Speaker 1: that we have are not newly so yeah, you're just
Speaker 1: you're just plain old fiances. That's boring. You suck at
Speaker 1: being newly weds because we're not even newly weds. That's
Speaker 1: and we stuck at to finding newly weds. That's right.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, we beat around the bush quite a
Speaker 1: bit here. As they say, we have a very incredible
Speaker 1: heavy hit and co host joining us on this great
Speaker 1: new podcast. Help we suck a heavy hitting. Is there
Speaker 1: something you wanna tell me, Dean we can talk? Well,
Speaker 1: that's why she sucks at being a newly wed. Welcome
Speaker 1: to the podcast, ladies and gentlemen, Kaylin Marie Miller Keys, Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you, happy to be here, Happy to be here.
Speaker 1: And you suck at being a newlywed because your last
Speaker 1: name is still Miller Keys, but my last name is
Speaker 1: still Alert, So yeah, I think we both suck a
Speaker 1: little bit. Yeah, so I'm super excited to be here.
Speaker 1: I've been actually okay, we're not running down memory lane.
Speaker 1: But it's so funny because the last time I was
Speaker 1: in the studio were one of the last times you
Speaker 1: guys were recording help I suck a dating and Dean
Speaker 1: wouldn't even let me be in the room, so I
Speaker 1: had to go to Whole Food to cross the street
Speaker 1: and make myself busy. And he told me when we
Speaker 1: first started dating, you will never be on the podcast.
Speaker 1: Like I'm making a point, you'll never be on the podcast.
Speaker 1: And now not only am I on it, but I'm
Speaker 1: a co host. Well, and there's a reason that I
Speaker 1: didn't want you on the podcast because I didn't want
Speaker 1: it to feel like I was using you to bolster
Speaker 1: my podcasting career. I didn't want to make it feel
Speaker 1: like I was like using you to get more listeners
Speaker 1: or anything like that. You didn't want John Paul Jones
Speaker 1: to bust down the door, and you are doing this
Speaker 1: for your podcast. I stif with the one I opened
Speaker 1: for a long time because of that John Paul Jones guy. Um,
Speaker 1: But now that I'm has been I definitely need you
Speaker 1: to you know, get us. Yeah there going on. We
Speaker 1: need you to bolster this podcast that that idea hit
Speaker 1: the expiry day. So thank you so much for co
Speaker 1: hosting with us. It's gonna be interesting. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: for lack of a better word, working with with your partner.
Speaker 1: I think about our challenges in our relationships. I think
Speaker 1: it's good, which I think will be like therapeuter in
Speaker 1: a sense. And then there's sometimes where I'll be squeezing
Speaker 1: your leg like not that. Yeah, I think it's gonna
Speaker 1: just tear us apart, rip us apart, limb by limb
Speaker 1: that he said that when I got approached for the
Speaker 1: idea of doing the podcast, He's like, it'll either bring
Speaker 1: us together or it'll tear us apart. It's definitely not
Speaker 1: going to tear you apart. I'm not concerned about that. No,
Speaker 1: he just likes to be, you know, say outrageous things.
Speaker 1: Here's why I think, here's what our biggest issue is
Speaker 1: going to be. And it was an issue this morning
Speaker 1: to um Klin wants to be five minutes early to everything,
Speaker 1: and I know his podcast works and five minutes late
Speaker 1: is right on time. And I'm sure Daniel and Hanter
Speaker 1: probably disagree with that. But that's gonna be our biggest
Speaker 1: hurdle to overcome, is Caitlyn rushing Dad on the podcast
Speaker 1: and me saying, Klin, it's not that serious, just your time,
Speaker 1: lower your stress levels. I agree, And we're going to
Speaker 1: start off every podcast with me being stressed and Dean
Speaker 1: being annoyed with me. Were you're gonna start off podcast
Speaker 1: doing it by yourself for about eight minutes? Well, okay,
Speaker 1: and also Jared sometimes too. I'm not alone? Pretty good?
Speaker 1: I mean I I this past year was definitely my worst,
Speaker 1: especially in the beginning of the year. I was going
Speaker 1: back on the Instagram and watching those clips of me
Speaker 1: in the office at Audrey's and being like, I'll be
Speaker 1: right back and I have to go make a sandwiches.
Speaker 1: That time has passed. Okay. Now we're a fully functioning,
Speaker 1: running business. We're doing just fine. We're not here to
Speaker 1: talk about artist. We're here to talk about help I
Speaker 1: Suck at being newly woods? So what does that mean,
Speaker 1: Jared being a newly wed? Well, just what does it?
Speaker 1: What does it mean? Like our podcast? What are we
Speaker 1: going to talk about? Well, I mean it's going to
Speaker 1: be a continuation of help I Suck a dating where
Speaker 1: we talking about relationships, dating, talk about your guys experience
Speaker 1: getting engaged, my experience being married. Um, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: interested to hear about your guy's upcoming journey of going
Speaker 1: from fiance's two newly weds. I don't know when the
Speaker 1: newly wed age ends. I mean, I'm not a newly
Speaker 1: wed anymore, right, I feel like you are. You've been
Speaker 1: married for three years, that's newly wed. I feel like
Speaker 1: you're still in that early marriage phase. Think about people
Speaker 1: have been married for twenty years, they're not newly weds.
Speaker 1: Three years. Yeah, it's pretty early. Yeah, but then you
Speaker 1: could it's all about perspective, because then you could look
Speaker 1: at someone who's been married at six for sixty years
Speaker 1: and look at the couple who's been married for twenty
Speaker 1: years and be like, you guys just don't do it right.
Speaker 1: You don't even know, you don't even know the struggles.
Speaker 1: So the greatest part about being newly weds was that
Speaker 1: everybody would buy his drinks. I remember when we were
Speaker 1: on our honeymoon. It was fantastic because everybody just found
Speaker 1: out that we just got married and they're like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, you're newly weds, and we're like, yeah, we're
Speaker 1: newly weds. It's pretty fun. And then that war off
Speaker 1: pretty quickly because then everybody was just like, yeah, your
Speaker 1: husband and wife, that's cool when you're gonna have a kid.
Speaker 1: And then we had a kid, and now it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's cool. When you're gonna have a second kid, You're like,
Speaker 1: all right, everyone's slowed down for a second. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie. Part of the reason I want to get
Speaker 1: married is because of the free drinks that it's too
Speaker 1: shortly after It's only for about a month. Okay, well
Speaker 1: we got a month month when you're not being offered
Speaker 1: free drinks anymore. That's about the time that you realize
Speaker 1: you're no longer nearly weds. Yeah, I would agree. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's because then you're just like, this is it. This
Speaker 1: is our life, guys. But if I feel like Caitlin
Speaker 1: doesn't like that, it's something that actually definitely doesn't like.
Speaker 1: But like because it I see, I don't mind talking
Speaker 1: about the relationships certainly not quote unquote lose. It's luster,
Speaker 1: but it's just not you know, anybody who's been in
Speaker 1: a long term relationship, and it's scientifically proven that you
Speaker 1: lose you know, you lose that like lust towards somebody
Speaker 1: after a while. But then I don't know, I I
Speaker 1: that's just the reality of the situation. I feel like
Speaker 1: a lot of quil And how you feel about that, Like,
Speaker 1: how does that make you sad to me, it doesn't
Speaker 1: make me sad because then it's like, no, that's what
Speaker 1: a relationship is. We still choose each other every day,
Speaker 1: That's what life is all about. But I feel like
Speaker 1: Ashley is very sad whenever I bring that up, because
Speaker 1: it's not like magical to her. No. I think there's
Speaker 1: two ways to look at it. And I think the
Speaker 1: way like media portrays it and most people portray is like,
Speaker 1: you know, your relationship progresses and then you're not necessarily
Speaker 1: like lusting after the person in the same way. And
Speaker 1: then I was talking to a friend who's been married
Speaker 1: for like three or four years, and she's like, I
Speaker 1: think it's the opposite. Like the deeper you get to
Speaker 1: know someone, the more like the stronger the emotional bond
Speaker 1: is like the more sexually attracted you are to each other.
Speaker 1: So I think if you just flip your perspective, I
Speaker 1: think that's true. I'm gonna ask you a question, are
Speaker 1: you more sexually attracted Dan now when you first met
Speaker 1: first met? You can't answer for me. No, I feel
Speaker 1: like it the more I get to know you, the
Speaker 1: more I love you, and with that becomes come sexual attraction. Yeah, Okay,
Speaker 1: I mean, I just got you told me I was
Speaker 1: handsome a lot more handsomer a lot. That is ridiculous.
Speaker 1: That is so false. Also another thing, another thing to
Speaker 1: point out, we have so much criticism coming towards our
Speaker 1: relationship at all times. People like, people definitely support us,
Speaker 1: and I think and I love that, but then you know,
Speaker 1: things are said, whether they be on a podcast or
Speaker 1: something else, and there are so many criticisms critiques about
Speaker 1: a relationship. So it's pretty interesting that I did agree
Speaker 1: to do this, um just because I think that's going
Speaker 1: to bring in even more. But it's okay. And the
Speaker 1: thing is, like, we're so strong in our relationships, so
Speaker 1: it's fine. Does the criticism bother you? Of course it
Speaker 1: bothers you, But does it bother you to a point
Speaker 1: where it like you can't shake it? No, And I
Speaker 1: think we do a good job of ignoring it. It's
Speaker 1: just annoying. It's just like a pest thing. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: is a pest, and it was something I'm sure you
Speaker 1: guys had to deal with. Like when I was first
Speaker 1: on the show and we would get criticism, I would
Speaker 1: take people's opinions seriously, and that's something I don't do anymore.
Speaker 1: Because I would. I would, I certainly wouldn't. I guess yeah,
Speaker 1: I would listen to them because I would hear what
Speaker 1: someone has to say about somebody else about me, and
Speaker 1: then I would say, oh, okay, so that is that
Speaker 1: is what people think, or like, oh, maybe they're right,
Speaker 1: or maybe this is something I should think about. But
Speaker 1: now I look at it, I'm like, what am I
Speaker 1: doing with my life? I'm gonna listen to one thousand,
Speaker 1: four hundred seventy eight different opinions on one subject matter
Speaker 1: and try to make a rational decision. Of course not
Speaker 1: but also sorry, but they talked over each other for
Speaker 1: the first time. Guys, it's a big moment. Was a
Speaker 1: big mother right there. But I think a lot of
Speaker 1: that has to do with, like, you're on the show
Speaker 1: and it's so much more, it's so many voices coming
Speaker 1: at you, and then you're off the show for a
Speaker 1: bit and people just they like care a little bit lesser.
Speaker 1: If they're following you, it's solely to mostly to support
Speaker 1: you rather than like hate. And then we were just
Speaker 1: with this past week, people who are brand new off
Speaker 1: the show and they're still stuck in that they're still
Speaker 1: stuck in like all of the terrible things people are
Speaker 1: saying at them, and I'm like, just give it a
Speaker 1: year or two. Well, and that's that's what I was
Speaker 1: gonna say too. Is when you and I started dating,
Speaker 1: you are fresh off the show, and I had been
Speaker 1: two years removed doing this our last podcast help I
Speaker 1: stuck a dating for two years, and so eventually you
Speaker 1: just become numb to it, and you, like, I like
Speaker 1: to just mess around and toy with it, obviously more
Speaker 1: so than I should, probably, but I was in that
Speaker 1: mode and you were still in this phase of having
Speaker 1: just come off and so you're hyper aware of it.
Speaker 1: And so I was saying things from a completely numbed
Speaker 1: perspective and you were experiencing them all from a hyper
Speaker 1: aware situation. So that's kind of why it was like
Speaker 1: maybe more challenging at first, but also it's shocking, like
Speaker 1: you're you're just this random person that gets plucked onto
Speaker 1: the show and then you're adjusting to all these voices
Speaker 1: and negative things coming at you. So it wears off
Speaker 1: like that's the good thing. Yeah, but I've definitely taken
Speaker 1: it and maybe the wrong direction one. You have just
Speaker 1: like cared a lot at first, and now I care
Speaker 1: so not something. I care so little. It's just that
Speaker 1: I'm willing to say outrageous things for the sake of
Speaker 1: saying outrageous things. Yeah, some things that you don't believe in,
Speaker 1: but you'll just say it because you know that it's
Speaker 1: the opposite of what you should say. Yeah. I just
Speaker 1: like being a converian. I like provoking a second school
Speaker 1: of thought into some conversations. I also like provoking people,
Speaker 1: which I think you can relate to. There's something about like,
Speaker 1: if you're gonna I don't like provoking people. Uh, are
Speaker 1: you serious? He definitely likes pro people. There's no way
Speaker 1: I've never provoked anyone. I don't say things just for
Speaker 1: the sake of starting an argument. What is the contrarian? Then,
Speaker 1: you guys, I'm doing it right now. That was the joke,
Speaker 1: got it? That was the joke. It was funny because
Speaker 1: Ashley and I were talking about you, Kalen, I don't know.
Speaker 1: A couple of days ago, we were talking about Paradise
Speaker 1: and Ashley says that she always wishes she could google
Speaker 1: back to Paradise and tell herself, like when she's crawling
Speaker 1: on the beach, like it's gonna be okay. Like, it's
Speaker 1: gonna be fine, and you came up and she was like,
Speaker 1: isn't Maybe it was we were talking about the podcast,
Speaker 1: but she was like, I wish I could go back
Speaker 1: to that day that we went to Paradise for christ
Speaker 1: and Christmas wedding, and it was the day after you
Speaker 1: had left Paradise. It was very emotional and you were
Speaker 1: obviously very upset, and she wishes she could go back
Speaker 1: at that moment. And she would be like, Kalen, like,
Speaker 1: I know it's crazy to think right now, but the
Speaker 1: guy that just left going to marry that man? You
Speaker 1: will marry that man? Yeah, Okay. Who wouldn't love to
Speaker 1: be able to time travel back a couple of years,
Speaker 1: Sonny think about Yeah, it's cool to think about. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. But you know, it's
Speaker 1: not like you could go back if you were if
Speaker 1: you were to go back to that time, you wouldn't
Speaker 1: have the glimpse into the future that we have now.
Speaker 1: That's my point. No, but you know we're pretending that
Speaker 1: you can that in our reality, in our world, if
Speaker 1: we traveled back in time, we would have the foreside
Speaker 1: of the future. Okay, Yeah, this is like This is
Speaker 1: a simple conversation that people have have often, and you're
Speaker 1: trying to challenge what I'm saying when people would normally say,
Speaker 1: seen to explain a little. That's all that situation would
Speaker 1: normally say is I wish I could go back in
Speaker 1: time and like telling myself everything would be okay, or
Speaker 1: not worry so much in your time, traveling back in
Speaker 1: time and tell myself to buy a bitcoin in two
Speaker 1: thousand and twelve. Yes, okay, But that song that you love, um,
Speaker 1: you put it to a real when when I went
Speaker 1: to your hometown for the first time, I wish that
Speaker 1: right when I was younger. So that song is basically
Speaker 1: what we're saying right now. I don't think you're allowed
Speaker 1: to sing. You can sing. It's I think it's like
Speaker 1: seven seconds. No no, no, no no, no. You can sing
Speaker 1: any song as long as you're the one singing, and
Speaker 1: we sing a whole song. Okay, Well I got two
Speaker 1: more seconds then when I was younger. See, the thing
Speaker 1: is in your world, traveling back in time would so
Speaker 1: if you travel back in time, you're traveling back into
Speaker 1: like your sixteen year old body, and you wouldn't know
Speaker 1: what the future has in store for you. Is that
Speaker 1: what you're saying in our time traveling, It's like we're
Speaker 1: not trying traveling back into our body. We're like taking
Speaker 1: our body right now and putting it in the past
Speaker 1: so we can talk to ourselves. Sure, but is it interesting? Dude?
Speaker 1: We're in the same studio. I will never forget. And
Speaker 1: we talked about on this podcast many times before about you.
Speaker 1: We came back from Paradise and then you were here
Speaker 1: and that's when you were like, I really can't stop
Speaker 1: thinking about this girl. And we were about to record
Speaker 1: an episode. Was that the same time? Yeah, we were
Speaker 1: in the other studio, but yes, what do you mean,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think, Yeah, that was the same time,
Speaker 1: Because how did I not I knew you were Oh,
Speaker 1: I knew you were home from Yeah. I got it
Speaker 1: from going there and then seeing I flew back to
Speaker 1: record an episode and I was like, you know, let's
Speaker 1: go back. Yeah, I'll go back. That was a pretty
Speaker 1: nice time and two ucas anyways, and you didn't miss
Speaker 1: an episode. I literally didn't because I and this is
Speaker 1: what people don't always understand is that when Kaylin and
Speaker 1: I met on the beach, I was down there for
Speaker 1: two days three days and then I broke up with
Speaker 1: you after three days of knowing this person. People think
Speaker 1: it was like a month and a half. Anyway, we
Speaker 1: can get into that maybe on a later episode of
Speaker 1: Help we Suck at Beating newlyweds. What else will this
Speaker 1: podcast entail? I imagine we'll have some great guests. The
Speaker 1: thing the thing that concerns me, and it's not a
Speaker 1: big concern at all, but and and actually we kind
Speaker 1: of talked about this too. Because now there's three of us,
Speaker 1: there's less need for bringing guest co hosts and interviewing
Speaker 1: other people and stuff. But there's a lot less, a
Speaker 1: lot smaller of a pool to pull from from married
Speaker 1: couples than there are from single and dating couples. Because
Speaker 1: most of the time the show doesn't work right, that
Speaker 1: doesn't mean it can't work. Look at us, Yeah, look
Speaker 1: at us, Look at us, look at us, look at us.
Speaker 1: Me not me, uh yeah. So but we'll be pulling
Speaker 1: guests as well. But I think, um, you know, this
Speaker 1: podcast is going to be what this podcast is going
Speaker 1: to be, It's gonna be us talking. It's really nice
Speaker 1: having a female perspective back on the podcast because Dean
Speaker 1: and I are just you know, break up of the chest.
Speaker 1: It's going to be kind of awkward though, come like
Speaker 1: September October. Because we used to have a girl co
Speaker 1: host on this podcast with us. How long did that last?
Speaker 1: About a year? Yeah, Vanessa was at least a year
Speaker 1: and she got and she's just forever. She didn't get
Speaker 1: invited to a certain person's wedding. Oh my god, AT's
Speaker 1: got a little bit awkward. And I'm just saying, come
Speaker 1: around your September October. We can make it more awkward.
Speaker 1: We're going to have a wedding, and so a certain
Speaker 1: co host of it's never going to escape me. Guys,
Speaker 1: I wanted to go just say it. Man. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I look back on it, and I don't think it's
Speaker 1: so tough because it's the difference between someone and how
Speaker 1: someone asked you. And then also it was different because
Speaker 1: we were kind of like a part of the engagement
Speaker 1: where he wanted to like propose and then come back
Speaker 1: and have people there we have planned for you and
Speaker 1: actually obviously duh um, and we weren't bringing Dawson because
Speaker 1: we're like, we're not bringing Dawson's cross country at two
Speaker 1: times in one months, this guy. Anyway, I keep live
Speaker 1: on explaining myself again, this is ridiculous, and yeah, it
Speaker 1: was really like and I look back and I questioned,
Speaker 1: if whatever, anyway, you're numbered now no ship, this is
Speaker 1: bullshit anyway, It's just don't miss the wedding. And we're
Speaker 1: not gonna miss the wedding. We never missed the winning
Speaker 1: I don't want to see you can't. Yeah, she's just kidding.
Speaker 1: You can't miss something you're not invited to. So this, yeah,
Speaker 1: my god, this man, you say September October, Well, the
Speaker 1: weddings in September, but I'm sure the backlash won't really
Speaker 1: take effect until yeah, yeah, yeah, and then come November
Speaker 1: it will just be us to co hosting it. Will
Speaker 1: It will create such deep wounds that I will have
Speaker 1: no choice. In the past, she didn't leave because of that.
Speaker 1: Don't put this This guy's playing everything on me? Are
Speaker 1: right now? Good God? That was terrible though. That was
Speaker 1: so bad. I yeah, I look back on that time
Speaker 1: with regret. But okay, since this is a marriage podcast,
Speaker 1: I think until you've gone through it, you can't understand
Speaker 1: because right now we're planning our guest list, and we're
Speaker 1: planning like I don't want to give away how our
Speaker 1: wedding is gonna be set up, but it's very specific
Speaker 1: where we can only have a specific amount of people,
Speaker 1: um and until you've gone through it, like I want
Speaker 1: everyone to be there, like everyone we've ever met or
Speaker 1: cared about. But let's just not the reality of the situation.
Speaker 1: And that's me cutting you some slack for not inviting
Speaker 1: your co host. But it's until you, until you go
Speaker 1: through it. It's more just it's awkward because you guys
Speaker 1: will experience it that you know. I'm not saying it'll
Speaker 1: be like a public affair like it was for me,
Speaker 1: which is my mistake, but even like, yeah, there'll be
Speaker 1: people in your personal life who were just assuming that
Speaker 1: they're gonna be invited to your wedding and then they
Speaker 1: won't be invited, and it's going to be even more
Speaker 1: awkward because unfortunately, there's a huge logistical part of the
Speaker 1: wedding where you will have a B list because people
Speaker 1: are going to say no and then seats will open up.
Speaker 1: So they're gonna be people who get invites much later
Speaker 1: than they other people got and that's going to create
Speaker 1: awkardness because they would be like, oh, they didn't like
Speaker 1: I'm a back up, and it's like, yeah, that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean I don't love you or don't want you there,
Speaker 1: but like it's just the numbers game, you know. So
Speaker 1: I agree that now that we've gone through it. Ashley
Speaker 1: and I were always like we could care less like
Speaker 1: you guys, we would love to not like, of course
Speaker 1: we would love to be there, but it's like the
Speaker 1: bride and groom have to do what's best for the
Speaker 1: bride and groom, and then everybody else just has to
Speaker 1: kind of understand that doesn't mean that they don't love you,
Speaker 1: they don't want to hang out with you, it's just
Speaker 1: the reality of the situation. They're not gonna sabotage their
Speaker 1: entire wedding day for your personal ego. And so that's
Speaker 1: kind of like how we went into it a little bit. Well,
Speaker 1: even just the other day, we were talking about who
Speaker 1: to have seats, who's going to have seats at our
Speaker 1: rehearsal dinner, and we were like kind of talking about it,
Speaker 1: and we just had friends I'm sorry, not not friends,
Speaker 1: but just family at the rehearsal dinner. And then I
Speaker 1: was like, well, this other friend and his girlfriend have
Speaker 1: to be there too, because they're a part there in
Speaker 1: the wedding. And then Caitlin was like, well, yeah, what
Speaker 1: about this friend, this friend and this friend, And I
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, there are friends and we love them,
Speaker 1: but they're not in the wedding. And because they're not
Speaker 1: in the wedding, they're not going to be at the
Speaker 1: rehearsal dinner. And so you want to make these concessions
Speaker 1: for people, but then if you make it for two people,
Speaker 1: you have to make it for six people. You have
Speaker 1: to make it for twelve people. And eventually, I think
Speaker 1: we both just eventually agreed like, no, it's family. And
Speaker 1: then our two friends that are in the wedding are
Speaker 1: one friend that's in the wedding and his girlfriend. I
Speaker 1: guess well, I tossed that idea out to our other, like,
Speaker 1: so are two of our best friends date? And I
Speaker 1: tested that idea out to her and she didn't love it.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, we'll figure it out. Is she
Speaker 1: getting married? I didn't think so. For it's only gonna
Speaker 1: get worse. These conversations will continue happening. You got some
Speaker 1: backlash from her or she she didn't like it very much,
Speaker 1: But then you do invite her to the rehearsal dinner,
Speaker 1: and then you're gonna hear from three other friends like, oh,
Speaker 1: well she came. Why didn't we get to come to that?
Speaker 1: You know, right, But if we make the guy the
Speaker 1: beer boy, then he's technically in the wedding too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But then then the other friends are like, why can't
Speaker 1: I be a boy? It's never ending? And then that's
Speaker 1: why how we agreed on it, like a couple of ago,
Speaker 1: I think it is the best way to do. We did,
Speaker 1: but it's like, so we're the rehearsal dinner is one
Speaker 1: thing that we figured out. But then it's like the
Speaker 1: people that from the second we got engaged that would
Speaker 1: start demming me or texting me, and like it felt
Speaker 1: like you were weirdly trying to come back into my
Speaker 1: life just to like get invite. I was like, but
Speaker 1: we haven't spoken in years, and you can't be mad.
Speaker 1: It's just like people want to go to weddings with
Speaker 1: for people who have cloud it makes the reality of
Speaker 1: the situation. I was like that when I was on
Speaker 1: I'm sure you guys got the exact same thing. When
Speaker 1: your names got announced to be on the show, people
Speaker 1: were reaching out to me from high school hide and
Speaker 1: spoken to in like ten years, and they were like,
Speaker 1: why didn't you tell me you were on the show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's like, huh, like why would I, why would
Speaker 1: I haven't talked to you in so long. We just
Speaker 1: got a question from one of the producers that said,
Speaker 1: wants to know what a beer boy is. I was curious,
Speaker 1: but I kind of just I was like, I'm not
Speaker 1: I assumed it was like a guy that's just gonna
Speaker 1: get beer first. So we're not doing groomsman or bridesmaids, um.
Speaker 1: But we've got a lot of close friends that want
Speaker 1: to be involved somewhere or another. And at our engagement party,
Speaker 1: some like my friends pulled us aside and they're like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, we know we can't be up there at
Speaker 1: the altar with you guys, but I would love to
Speaker 1: just like act as like a flower girl, but instead
Speaker 1: of throwing out flowers, like hand out beers to people
Speaker 1: as they're sitting in the audience or whatever. And it
Speaker 1: didn't hate the idea. Um, So that's what a beer
Speaker 1: boy would be in our sense, is a guy that
Speaker 1: walks down the aisle v like visa Villa flower girl,
Speaker 1: but just hands out beers instead of throwing out flyers.
Speaker 1: I picture like you know that you're at an NFL
Speaker 1: game and the guys like carrying on beers and like,
Speaker 1: see it's super so he that is hysterical and I
Speaker 1: love it. But then you would have to accept the
Speaker 1: fact that, like before you walked in the one of
Speaker 1: his boys is just thrown out beers to people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I don't want people to be wasted, so maybe
Speaker 1: will mix this or like you don't want some like
Speaker 1: one of his jackass friends like throwing beers in the
Speaker 1: audience as you're waiting to walk down the aisle exactly. So,
Speaker 1: but it's pretty cool, that is funny. It could work.
Speaker 1: It could work whatever you guys want. Like people have
Speaker 1: walked on the aisle with lightsabers held above their heads
Speaker 1: playing to the John Williams Star Wars theme. It's like,
Speaker 1: do what you want to do. That's the whole point
Speaker 1: of the wedding because I'm you guys are going out,
Speaker 1: you're doing it, You're spending the money. So like my
Speaker 1: biggest advice is just like whatever you want, asked for it,
Speaker 1: and try to be persistent towards it. Like for example,
Speaker 1: with our wedding with the band. We had a playlist
Speaker 1: and we're like, we we want you guys to play
Speaker 1: these songs. And then they were like, like, honestly, we
Speaker 1: went through a bunch of different bands and we're like,
Speaker 1: these are the songs that we want to play, and like,
Speaker 1: we understand that if you can't do it, but if
Speaker 1: you can't do it, then we're just not gonna have
Speaker 1: you play at our wedding. And that's totally fine. I
Speaker 1: thought UM bands would just accommodate playlists. They won't. A
Speaker 1: lot of bands that we talked to their like this
Speaker 1: this is the music that we know. This is the
Speaker 1: music that we play. Yeah. Right, they can't just learn
Speaker 1: a bunch of songs right before your wedding. And one
Speaker 1: of the reasons we did that was because we went
Speaker 1: to a wedding UM a couple of years ago and
Speaker 1: it was a New Year's Eve wedding and everybody's sitting
Speaker 1: down for dinner. When you sit down for dinner, it's
Speaker 1: everybody's eating and it's a little bit more romantic and
Speaker 1: they're supposed to speeches. But the band was playing and
Speaker 1: the music was so goddamn loud, and it was like
Speaker 1: they were playing pop hits and Bruno Mars. But it
Speaker 1: was very awkward because everybody's just sitting down and eating
Speaker 1: and not dancing, and we were like, oh, we don't
Speaker 1: want this during ours. We want like a dinner portion,
Speaker 1: you know, where it's like very nice and the ambiance
Speaker 1: is great, and then we'll have a band play later on.
Speaker 1: So it's like, you know, do you guys have any
Speaker 1: weddings that you're going to before your own? Yeah, like
Speaker 1: two weeks before hours, We're going to Mexico. Only two
Speaker 1: weeks though, because the good thing about going to weddings
Speaker 1: is you know, it's now like you can now that
Speaker 1: you guys are engaged in like, okay, now we're planning,
Speaker 1: you can get ideas. I feel like we we I
Speaker 1: went to so many last year where we were supposed
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, take notes. I've got a question for you.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure the total guests count for your wedding.
Speaker 1: Let's say two d there's like we'll just go two
Speaker 1: hundred for simplicity. How many of those two hundred were cancelations? Like, like,
Speaker 1: how many were they're supposed to be if everyone said
Speaker 1: yes so we sent out I think a hundred and nineties,
Speaker 1: so we had about fifteen. So you're not going to
Speaker 1: get that many cancelations for your wedding. I hope we do.
Speaker 1: I would not plan on too much, just because when
Speaker 1: we were talking to our wedding planner, a lot of
Speaker 1: people are like, you should plan on like at least
Speaker 1: forty people saying no. Right, But it's different as you've
Speaker 1: noticed with people reaching out. I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people are going to want to go to your wedding.
Speaker 1: But my point exactly, so like if you send out
Speaker 1: if there's I don't know where your capacity is, but
Speaker 1: say your capacity is ninety, most people be like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: so now a hundred and twenty invites and then like,
Speaker 1: we'll definitely get under nine. But I would be careful
Speaker 1: because you might get a lot of yeses just that well,
Speaker 1: and I was a very strict capacity of like nineties
Speaker 1: six and and so we're like, you don't want to
Speaker 1: send out an invite and then have to renege the yea,
Speaker 1: yeah exactly. That would be probably the worst. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: we'll see how that all goes. But yeah, we're currently
Speaker 1: eight months plus seven and a half months away from
Speaker 1: the wedding, so which is a great time for the podcast,
Speaker 1: talking about being newlyweds. We're planning the wedding. It's perfect.
Speaker 1: Jared and I were just taking a stroll down memory
Speaker 1: lane before coming in here about when we when Jared
Speaker 1: came on as a full time co host, and how
Speaker 1: many great episodes we had because there's so much in
Speaker 1: our world, like breakups and relationships. Every week was like
Speaker 1: a different news story that somehow circulated. Help I suck
Speaker 1: at data, Yeah it was, and I ken't put my
Speaker 1: foot in my mouth too, so like grab a headline
Speaker 1: and Dean says this, yeah, and then I would get
Speaker 1: an angry Instagram message from the person that I said
Speaker 1: it about, like you, son of a you, son of acker. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So so this is good, yeah, because we have seven
Speaker 1: and a half months to build up a hype for
Speaker 1: our wedding, but real quick. So back in the day,
Speaker 1: I didn't listen. I apologize, But were you saying more
Speaker 1: Atlantish things than you do now? No? No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: he says way more. O. That's definitely been a gradual
Speaker 1: decline in my sanity just because of the timeline, I guess,
Speaker 1: but um, I would just my biggest well and I've
Speaker 1: said this before and help by second dating is my
Speaker 1: biggest frustration, not even a frustration really. It was just
Speaker 1: like an ick I guess if you will, is when
Speaker 1: everyone thinks, just because you're talking about someone and anyone
Speaker 1: can listen to it, you have to only say nice
Speaker 1: things about them. It's like you're not free of criticism
Speaker 1: just because we're talking about you publicly, like you can criticize.
Speaker 1: And I would say this to anyone else that wants
Speaker 1: to talk about me, to criticize me all you want.
Speaker 1: Just because you're being talked about on air about something,
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you are free of criticism, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And just because you're criticizing someone doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that you're like them, or you don't you're good people
Speaker 1: or anything exactly. And yeah, and that's and and people
Speaker 1: will just read the headlines of the articles and they'll
Speaker 1: like read the negative things and get upset about it.
Speaker 1: And it hasn't happened so much lately. But there was
Speaker 1: the instance we went to a premier party like a
Speaker 1: couple of months ago, and a guy was there that
Speaker 1: I've been pretty open about talking crap about, and he
Speaker 1: was like extra cold to me the entire time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: can we say who it is? No, I mean no,
Speaker 1: and maybe and maybe in my head I was just
Speaker 1: like imagining it to be worse than it was. But um,
Speaker 1: but you've you've publicly talked about help. Second, Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: assuming he's a part of Bachelor. Yeah, yeah, of course,
Speaker 1: of course there was. Honestly, I don't know anyone that
Speaker 1: has any notoriety outside of vascination. Well I have a
Speaker 1: question though, quickly before we move on, because there were
Speaker 1: some hot topics that we should talk about. But dude,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be a husband. Yea. My whole life has
Speaker 1: led up to this moment. Are you guys gonna find
Speaker 1: the papers before you? Like, like, are you gonna sign
Speaker 1: it that weekend? You're gonna sign it? Like months beforehand.
Speaker 1: I haven't even thought about it. But we are in
Speaker 1: the process of changing our last name, so I feel
Speaker 1: like our last names will be changed and then maybe
Speaker 1: probably before So you are Klin Marie Marie Miller Keys,
Speaker 1: Klin Marie Miller Keys, And what will your name now be?
Speaker 1: Caln Miller Bell just like flows a lot better. Don't
Speaker 1: you think that a middle name as Miller? I like it,
Speaker 1: I don't hate it. My mom did the same thing.
Speaker 1: She dropped her middle name, and now she's Miller. Gotcha.
Speaker 1: And just to be clear for myself and listeners out there,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna be Kaylyn middle name or Dad did
Speaker 1: Miller hyphen Bell. It's gonna be Kyln Miller first middle
Speaker 1: and then last name. Okay, cant change my middle name.
Speaker 1: My brother, when I presented this idea, he really wanted
Speaker 1: to change his middle name to Bronco. You wanted to
Speaker 1: be Brad Bronco Bell. I thought it was Shaka Shaka.
Speaker 1: It was one of the two. He played with it
Speaker 1: a little bit, like Brad Bronco. It's Brad Bronco Bell.
Speaker 1: That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. And his wife like
Speaker 1: wasn't super stucked about it. So he just dropped his
Speaker 1: whole middle name and now it's just Brad Bell middle name.
Speaker 1: Not there, are you dropping your middle name? No, I'll
Speaker 1: keep Michael. He dropped his middle name because he his
Speaker 1: middle name was our father's first name God, and so
Speaker 1: he was dropping the last name to disassociate from that
Speaker 1: a little bit. So yeah, so I'll I'll be Dean
Speaker 1: Michael bell Um. But yeah, we're beginning the paperwork for
Speaker 1: that I'm not really sure the whole process or what
Speaker 1: goes into that, but we got company doing it for us,
Speaker 1: which is nice. And did you have any reservations dropping
Speaker 1: your name? No, not at all. My last name is
Speaker 1: so hard and yeah, just in terms of spelling the length,
Speaker 1: it's very hard to fly because some people do a space,
Speaker 1: some people do a hyphen, some people do you you know, space,
Speaker 1: And so see how that really matters. It really does
Speaker 1: because there's been so many times where it's like your
Speaker 1: last name doesn't match. And then one time, like two
Speaker 1: years ago, at the DMV, they spelled my last name
Speaker 1: wrong and they just lost the hyphen and told me
Speaker 1: that they couldn't use a hyphen, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I've had an idea for many years. So then that
Speaker 1: caused a lot of issues going to the airport as well,
Speaker 1: and my passport didn't match. So did she ever change
Speaker 1: her name or she still like Eddie? She's still like
Speaker 1: an Eddie. She changed it like on social but she
Speaker 1: hasn't legally changed it, right, so she goes by Ashley
Speaker 1: like an Eddie haven M. But her name is That's
Speaker 1: funny because we were just talking the other day about that.
Speaker 1: Sarah's the opposite. She's Sarah Adams, but she still goes
Speaker 1: by Sarah Hyland. It's Sarah Adams. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I remember that correctly. I could be
Speaker 1: misunderstanding this. She's also because she's just, you know, like
Speaker 1: a celebrity. She's an actress, so like makes I feel
Speaker 1: like actress. Actors and actresses just don't change their last name,
Speaker 1: kind of like weakens your brand a little bit. Kay Hudson, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: like I didn't. Wasn't Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt married?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she wasn't Gwyneth and Brad Blake Shelton Blake Shelton. No,
Speaker 1: you guys are what is that? Were? No? No, guys,
Speaker 1: So like, yeah, she's married to Blake Sean, right, so
Speaker 1: she's not Gwen Sheldon. No, that would be weird. So
Speaker 1: I feel like Sara Hiland, she can't change her name
Speaker 1: Sarah Hiland, Yeah, anything, it would be wells I do
Speaker 1: worry about that, you know, going from the younger to
Speaker 1: Dean Bell, I'm a big, big sleib. People are gonna
Speaker 1: be like, who's this Dean Bell coming out of nowhere?
Speaker 1: I don't even like this guy on fallow uninterested. Even
Speaker 1: you more as Deanie Babies than Dean Angler. That's true.
Speaker 1: Even my brother calls me Deanie babies. Kyln calls me
Speaker 1: Deanie babies, which I don't like that very much. I
Speaker 1: did not call you. What's my name in your phone?
Speaker 1: Actually might be? It is a good question, really, yes
Speaker 1: it is, and hers is a very special name that
Speaker 1: only I call her. No, no, I mean at this
Speaker 1: point whatever, do what every doing? But actually still a
Speaker 1: girlfriend in my phone? Really? Yeah? She likes that. She
Speaker 1: thinks it's cute. It's very cute. Yeah, it works out
Speaker 1: for me too, makes it feel like it's not a
Speaker 1: serious relationship. Smart yeah, smart smart? What else have we
Speaker 1: got here? You guys? Today's a big day. I mean
Speaker 1: today's the real leased a new podcast. And it also
Speaker 1: is Valentine's Day? Yeah? What are you doing for Valentine's
Speaker 1: Day this year? With that? Nothing? I hate Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: I think it's so stupid. Calin. You don't agree to you.
Speaker 1: I love Valentine's Day? What do you love so much
Speaker 1: about it? I love the colors, I love the pink
Speaker 1: and rat I love the candy. It reminds me of
Speaker 1: being in elementary school, when all of your friends would
Speaker 1: give you Valentine's Day cards and then you go home,
Speaker 1: you'd read them all and you get a special one
Speaker 1: from your crush. I just love it. I've never had
Speaker 1: any of that happened to me as a kid. But
Speaker 1: you never got a Valentine's Day card from a crush, No,
Speaker 1: I don't believe that for one second. No way. I
Speaker 1: remember there was a girl in high school. I don't
Speaker 1: know if I've told this in the podcast before, but
Speaker 1: she I had a crush on her. It was senior year,
Speaker 1: and then you could send little I think they were
Speaker 1: a little heart chocolates. You could send them to somebody's
Speaker 1: desk in their home and like another student would walk
Speaker 1: in and deliver it. Somebody delivered it. I don't know
Speaker 1: who the hell delivered it, but somehow I was able
Speaker 1: to get this to happen. This was inchool. I was
Speaker 1: still very insecure as any high school work, but like
Speaker 1: especially I was still kind of like in my fat
Speaker 1: zone area, so like still just did not find myself attractive,
Speaker 1: and so I was terrible at talking to women. But
Speaker 1: this girl I always had a crush on her, always
Speaker 1: wanted to talk to her. She played sports, she ran track,
Speaker 1: and she had something happened to her heart and she
Speaker 1: couldn't run track that year anymore. And she was so
Speaker 1: sad and so beating up over it. And it was
Speaker 1: right before Valentine's Day, so I was like, got it.
Speaker 1: So I jared my most suave got the heart chocolate
Speaker 1: delivered to her with a little note that was not romantic.
Speaker 1: It was more about the track because I was like,
Speaker 1: that's such an easy end right there, and just wrote
Speaker 1: a note saying like I'm so sorry about you know,
Speaker 1: with what happened the track, like anything, let me know.
Speaker 1: And but the thing was that one super close friends
Speaker 1: with her. It was more like friends of friends, but
Speaker 1: like definitely had a crush on her. So it was
Speaker 1: definitely like statement that I did it. I remember just
Speaker 1: being so nervous because Jim was lunch period that day,
Speaker 1: so it was later on in the day and we
Speaker 1: had gym class together. That's how we hung out, and dude,
Speaker 1: I was so nervous the entire day. I was. I
Speaker 1: thought I was everybody, knew everybody. Every time someone look
Speaker 1: at me, I'm like, they're making fun of me because
Speaker 1: she's laughing at me, right now, but it was really
Speaker 1: nice star gym class. She came up, gave me big hug.
Speaker 1: We talked the entire class. Never asked her out, So pathetic.
Speaker 1: I never asked her out. You had a pretty good into.
Speaker 1: You could have been like, I'm sorry, your heart sucks
Speaker 1: and you can't run track, but let me take care
Speaker 1: of it and I'll bring it back. Yeah, let me
Speaker 1: take care of your heart. Yeah. If the doctor can't
Speaker 1: take care of your heart, let me take care of it.
Speaker 1: Give me a try. Dude, where were you in high school?
Speaker 1: He could have reached his poetry. Should have called me, um. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: so it's Valentine's Day. This episode is coming on of
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, big day. So you're not doing anything. No,
Speaker 1: it's not that. I mean, I'm sure we'll you know,
Speaker 1: we're gonna go out to dinner. I and I'll get
Speaker 1: her flowers. I'll get Ashley flowers. But I don't know
Speaker 1: she makes a big deal out of it. I just think,
Speaker 1: I mean, how many, especially as we get older, how
Speaker 1: many celebrations can we possible? We just went through Christmas,
Speaker 1: We just went through just complaining about this. Yesterday. I
Speaker 1: remember I was like, I have to go to this
Speaker 1: birthday party, and then we have this and the Christmas
Speaker 1: and it's like, you know, we just had Dawson's birthday,
Speaker 1: and now it's Valentine's Day, and then Ashley's birthday is
Speaker 1: in the beginning of March, and then it's like the
Speaker 1: anniversary when we got engaged, and then it's our wedding anniversary,
Speaker 1: and then the holiday start up again, and it's everybody's
Speaker 1: birthday and I'm like, there's just too much. There's too much. Actually,
Speaker 1: I love you so much, but like we're not going out.
Speaker 1: Do you really want to go out to dinner on
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day? Okay, I don't think you're asking me this
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna answer. Sorry, I was. I was like
Speaker 1: talking as if I was talking Nash because I'm like,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be crowded. There's gonna like all the worst
Speaker 1: people are going to be out, the people that never
Speaker 1: go out to dinner. It's gonna be more expensive, more expensive.
Speaker 1: But I started doing and I don't know what we
Speaker 1: did last year, but two years prior, I booked us
Speaker 1: this nice hotel room and we had our Valentine's dinner
Speaker 1: like two days or three days early. Because the hotels
Speaker 1: are cheaper and you don't have to have these crazy
Speaker 1: lines like I don't really care about the actual day.
Speaker 1: I just like doing something like but we also go
Speaker 1: on a lot of dates, so it doesn't matter that much.
Speaker 1: But I like doing something you go on all dates
Speaker 1: all the time. And what I don't like about is
Speaker 1: there's now an expectation to be extra romantic on this day,
Speaker 1: where it's like the same with Christmas and birthdays, maybe
Speaker 1: a little bit different because that's like a personal celebration,
Speaker 1: but like the expectation to deliver a gift and you know,
Speaker 1: do all these things. I hate that. I would rather
Speaker 1: have like a meaning like I'm out and I'm shopping
Speaker 1: or something, and I see something that reminds me of you,
Speaker 1: and so I get it for you then, rather than
Speaker 1: like an expectation of me having like show up with
Speaker 1: a great gift for you on Christmas or whatever. You
Speaker 1: see what you're saying, it's just more forced, it's more forced,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't feel quite as genuine. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm looking up where we were in last February, don't remember,
Speaker 1: but I just I don't need that much for Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: That's all I'm saying. And this is Valentine's Day, getting
Speaker 1: back to what the day is, and Umdina and I
Speaker 1: will not be together on Valentine's Day. He will be
Speaker 1: in Antarctica with the penguins and I'll be by myself
Speaker 1: in Vegas with our dog. That's right. So what are
Speaker 1: you going to Antarctica for? Yeah, so by the time
Speaker 1: this airs, I will be passing the Drake Passage via ship.
Speaker 1: I'm just going to take pictures of penguins and icebergs.
Speaker 1: And it's just been a dream of mine always go
Speaker 1: to an Artica. So I signed up for it two
Speaker 1: years ago. COVID got in the way. We weren't able
Speaker 1: to go last year. Dan was so sad last year
Speaker 1: it got canceled like two weeks before. Yeah, why just
Speaker 1: because South America. I think I got hit a little
Speaker 1: bit harder by COVID because they didn't have as much
Speaker 1: access to the vaccine, is what I'm assuming. I'm not
Speaker 1: certain about that. And so because of that, they, you know,
Speaker 1: they had to kind of like put it ban on
Speaker 1: tourism for a little bit longer than we were in
Speaker 1: here in America and being on a boat with fury
Speaker 1: other people for two weeks is just like central. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so yeah, they rescheduled it. I'm finally going on this February. Obviously,
Speaker 1: I think I'll still be able to record. I've been
Speaker 1: asking some questions, like, hey, will we get WiFi? From
Speaker 1: the situation on the ship, I was like fully expecting,
Speaker 1: like no, you dummy, there's no way you're gonna WiFi,
Speaker 1: And they were like, it's actually pretty good. They are
Speaker 1: like parts where you won't have it, but they're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: they'll have WiFi of the time. So how do you
Speaker 1: feel when he goes on these trips? Oh, I'm fine
Speaker 1: with it. This one's better than Pakistan was a little sketchy,
Speaker 1: and Nepaul was pretty sketchy too because he was doing
Speaker 1: Nepaul by himself. So this one, it's like he's with
Speaker 1: forty people. Yeah, but then afterwards going to be a
Speaker 1: week and a half. Yeah, But Patigonia is safe. I guess.
Speaker 1: It's pretty harsh environment down there. It's just me, but
Speaker 1: it is like summertime. It's like summer fall for them
Speaker 1: down there. Yeah. Do you guys think that when you're
Speaker 1: married you will ask him politely but firmly to slow
Speaker 1: down some of these adventures slow Yeah, would you? Um? Yeah?
Speaker 1: If kids are involved, I think it's different. I'll take
Speaker 1: the kids with me. That's worst. If our kid could
Speaker 1: be have hit all seven continents before he turns five. Sure,
Speaker 1: kid can do fun stuff, but not like sketchy stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in a very safe and uh fun environment, which is
Speaker 1: not the Dean Angler environment. If we have kids, big,
Speaker 1: if if we have kids, that kid is going to
Speaker 1: what just always opted for that emphasis? How big is
Speaker 1: the how big is the F in the font? Like
Speaker 1: if you're opening a Microsoft word document and choosing the
Speaker 1: font size, what size would the font b? What does
Speaker 1: the size matter? All right? Twelve is normal. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the size will be. It depends on the day,
Speaker 1: That's what I'll say. It depends on the day. Some
Speaker 1: days we're talking about Debbie like she's coming soon, and
Speaker 1: then other days like Debbie's never coming. And I don't
Speaker 1: mean to interrupt you, but does that not does that
Speaker 1: fact alone not make you concerned about having kids, The
Speaker 1: fact that you're so hot and cold about whether you
Speaker 1: want them or not. Oh? I but I think it's
Speaker 1: also we're not even close to being ready to have kids,
Speaker 1: so that's a big factor in it, right, I've told Kalin,
Speaker 1: I mean, I do want kids, um, but like I've
Speaker 1: grown up imagining myself having kids. The only reason I'm
Speaker 1: so anti kids now is because my life is so
Speaker 1: voltal and I don't even know if I can support myself.
Speaker 1: My life is so awesome. I don't want no, not
Speaker 1: even like I'm just speaking solely from I agree with this.
Speaker 1: I agree with this point that our jobs are just
Speaker 1: so up in the air until we are successful. Wedding
Speaker 1: photographers are your successful carpenter Um. I don't think like
Speaker 1: every day I wake up, I wake and this is true.
Speaker 1: Every day I wake up and I think to myself,
Speaker 1: all right, if I never make another dollar, I could
Speaker 1: probably survive another three years on the money that I
Speaker 1: have saved up. And you now add a kid into
Speaker 1: that mix, that three years goes down to three months. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I did agree with you. But also you have so
Speaker 1: many skills, like you can do whatever you want. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But the thing is, I don't want to have to
Speaker 1: do anything. I mean, that's the problem. Yeah, I would,
Speaker 1: but I don't want to have to do anything. Obviously
Speaker 1: that's the goal. But you want to work a little
Speaker 1: to get to that. I want to find something that
Speaker 1: it doesn't work. I want to find something that's works.
Speaker 1: So excited and passionate about that. It's like, yeah, you're
Speaker 1: going to work and you're working yourself to the bone,
Speaker 1: cutting your hand open, and but you're still enjoying it.
Speaker 1: And you exactly, I've never had a job in my
Speaker 1: life where I had it. Actually, I never enjoyed a
Speaker 1: job I've had in my life. But I'm also my
Speaker 1: own boss, which is one of the reasons why I
Speaker 1: like it. But the problem is there's a lot of
Speaker 1: sacrifices to go into it. Like I mean, I put
Speaker 1: a lot of money into it, and I hope I
Speaker 1: recoup it. There's a lot of risk involved, so that's
Speaker 1: very scary. And then also a lot of people depend
Speaker 1: on me for their lively, you know, so there is
Speaker 1: a lot of nerves to it. But I will agree
Speaker 1: that like I would, I would not enjoy it as
Speaker 1: much if I had to directly answer someone in terms
Speaker 1: of like how the restaurant needs to be, especially the
Speaker 1: life that we've been so lucky enough to live over
Speaker 1: the past few years, where you like, are so and like,
Speaker 1: my only bosses are sitting in this room with us
Speaker 1: right now, and they hate me to death because I'm
Speaker 1: so hard to wrangle as you're like, can we please
Speaker 1: get out of here sooner? It's already been an hour.
Speaker 1: I need to leave. And now could you imagine me
Speaker 1: in like a regular workplace? No, I would you you
Speaker 1: You would do it too. I feel like you would
Speaker 1: do it if you had to, and you would do
Speaker 1: it if you have to. But I came up with
Speaker 1: the perfect business idea for helps me to build stuff
Speaker 1: for people. I think, like every month he builds five
Speaker 1: pieces of furniture and releases them. It's limited release, and
Speaker 1: he can sell them for a great amount of money.
Speaker 1: But that takes the joy out of building stuff because
Speaker 1: it's like fun for me to learn and screw up
Speaker 1: and then but that's the thing, It's like nobody knows
Speaker 1: when it's going to drop because you're so unpredictable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm like Banksy exactly. And you know what else is fun?
Speaker 1: Being able to make money off of something that you
Speaker 1: can do what I'm saying. But also like photography, love photography.
Speaker 1: But the second that started becoming feeling more like a
Speaker 1: job or like an expectation, where like my managers always
Speaker 1: like you have to post more. I'm like, well, I
Speaker 1: just like I don't want you to tell me how
Speaker 1: much I have to post. I want to do it
Speaker 1: when it comes freely naturally life. Somebody's always gonna be
Speaker 1: telling you to do something. To my point is that
Speaker 1: expectation takes the joy out of it, Like sir, of course,
Speaker 1: any like even like dude, you say, like I want
Speaker 1: to find your Audrey's you don't think that like Audrey's job.
Speaker 1: To me, it very much is there's times that, trust me,
Speaker 1: there are many times from like I regret opening this
Speaker 1: because it's just so exhausting, time consuming. But it's just
Speaker 1: the balance of trying to be like, okay, well I'm
Speaker 1: also you know, I see other people who don't have
Speaker 1: the luxury that we have, that have to work at
Speaker 1: nine to five, that have to be at a job
Speaker 1: that theycent of the time hate being at. So like,
Speaker 1: just you know, balances. I guess all this to say, uh,
Speaker 1: kids are going to be become more of a serious
Speaker 1: topic once my financial future becomes a little bit more.
Speaker 1: But the thing is, do you have to work, you
Speaker 1: have to do something. I've done a pretty good job
Speaker 1: of that. Is not going to last. I disagree. I
Speaker 1: think it will last for maybe a month more. Well, no,
Speaker 1: that's fast. But you, I mean you work. I mean
Speaker 1: I see you do stuff on social media. Here, I
Speaker 1: mean my hope. Obviously everyone hopes this, and I'm delusional
Speaker 1: for even thinking this, but like, you just do the
Speaker 1: things you love until eventually an opportunity comes, like I don't.
Speaker 1: I hated this at first. I hated podcasting at first.
Speaker 1: I was awful at it and I still ain't pretty
Speaker 1: bad at it, but I at least now find joy
Speaker 1: in it, whereas before I would like drag my feet
Speaker 1: and not really like it. But my point is, like
Speaker 1: I'm imagining this is how I imagine it going in
Speaker 1: my head. I just do stuff I love, travel to
Speaker 1: wherever I want to go, take pictures or build stuff
Speaker 1: or whatever it might be, and eventually someone comes along
Speaker 1: and they want to pay me money to do the
Speaker 1: thing that I already loved. Like it's now though, you're
Speaker 1: building a deck your floors here. I mean, sure, yeah,
Speaker 1: and maybe this is like the infant stage of that
Speaker 1: whatever it might be. But my point is like I
Speaker 1: just wanted to happen naturally. I feel like Dean's. One
Speaker 1: of Dean's greatest qualities might also be his biggest downfall,
Speaker 1: which is his childlike beautiful, like unicorn spirit. You know,
Speaker 1: it's just like it's like a self fulfilling prophecy. You know,
Speaker 1: you just put your energy out there. Can I share
Speaker 1: what your brother said to me? Yeah? Sure, okay at
Speaker 1: his engagement not to me, he said, um at our
Speaker 1: engagement party. I don't even know. Yeah, yeah, when my
Speaker 1: brother called me a no, you can't say that. He
Speaker 1: actually I figured out the word he used. He called
Speaker 1: you out, he said. Everyone thinks Dean is this easy
Speaker 1: going guy like just you know, shows up and everything
Speaker 1: works out for him. But really he's just a little
Speaker 1: because everyone does everything for him. I hate so much
Speaker 1: that I still have not even an. I don't even
Speaker 1: confront of him this. He's like he thinks he says
Speaker 1: that because he's like he does like the root planning
Speaker 1: up a mountain or something. But the way it sounds
Speaker 1: like to me is like he's saying that he's like
Speaker 1: carrying my food and my back back and everything, kind
Speaker 1: of like what I do when I take you on trips,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't I don't like it because it makes
Speaker 1: it takes away a lot of the hard work that
Speaker 1: I do on those trips specifically, not like that, not
Speaker 1: the hard work that I do actually because you know,
Speaker 1: if you and far between. But I've just been pointing
Speaker 1: it back to the work stuff, like you just want
Speaker 1: to show up and like it's kind of handed to you. No,
Speaker 1: I want to show up, have fun, do it on
Speaker 1: my own terms, my own time. My own role doesn't exist.
Speaker 1: It will exist, and it will exist for me at
Speaker 1: some point. Well it can exist. I mean, you just
Speaker 1: your your own boss. But you have to figure out
Speaker 1: what you can do on your own even like which
Speaker 1: is everything you could do anything, but like, okay, let's
Speaker 1: let's look at your wife for an example. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: think she's a good example that she is because she
Speaker 1: is doing she loves being on TV, she loves hosting,
Speaker 1: she loves all the stuff that she's doing. And and
Speaker 1: she works for ass off. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure,
Speaker 1: and but I'm sure it doesn't feel like she's working
Speaker 1: her ass off. I'm sure it does, But I feel
Speaker 1: like she's enjoying wonderful job you have any time because
Speaker 1: she's doing it, and she's like stoked about that you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Yeah, but you're also just like
Speaker 1: negollecting all the emails and text messages into networking that
Speaker 1: she's done. And she does a lot of it, and
Speaker 1: she's very good at it, and she pushes me to
Speaker 1: do more of it as well, and I do the
Speaker 1: best I can. But she she's a worker in that
Speaker 1: aspect where she she she not only does she put
Speaker 1: things out in the university, but she asked for things
Speaker 1: and she goes to the people that can get things
Speaker 1: done and be like, hey, this is what I want,
Speaker 1: this is what I'm thinking. Is a possible She's the
Speaker 1: hardest worker in bachel Nation probably, Um, well, it depends.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, there's a lot of people who are
Speaker 1: also you know, like welders in different types of jobs
Speaker 1: that are like much more physically, but like Ashley is
Speaker 1: the type of person that I think one of the
Speaker 1: things that I admire most about her is that she
Speaker 1: is I think one of the first people from Bachelor
Speaker 1: to like really do what we're doing, and she pushed
Speaker 1: for She's a trailblazer. She's on TV last five years,
Speaker 1: five years ago, maybe last time, whatever it was. I mean,
Speaker 1: you're engagement, I guess, but who's counting that. And we've
Speaker 1: like sprinkled throughout you know, we were on Paradise this
Speaker 1: past year. And so my point is like she's still
Speaker 1: a very central figure, unbelievable beer of bachelor world. So
Speaker 1: talk about it all the time. She's she's doing a
Speaker 1: good job. She does an incredible job, but she works
Speaker 1: at it like you talk about like I think a
Speaker 1: great example, as you said, like earlier, your manager said
Speaker 1: you have to post for and you were like, well,
Speaker 1: I don't want somebody to tell me to do that.
Speaker 1: Trust me, She's been told many times of what to do.
Speaker 1: She does it. I just don't know. It's just just
Speaker 1: my big thing about that is my manager wants me
Speaker 1: to post things that I don't want to be known for,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I want to be known
Speaker 1: for like a interesting travel photography guy or you do
Speaker 1: do that. I do do that, but those trips are
Speaker 1: sometimes infrequent and I'll go on a month long trip
Speaker 1: and I'll post for that month, but then I don't
Speaker 1: go on a trip for three months, and then I
Speaker 1: don't post on social media. What does she want you
Speaker 1: to post about? Literally? Anything trans me to pust like
Speaker 1: like daily lifestyle of shots us because we get better,
Speaker 1: you know, but you definitely get better engagement. But my
Speaker 1: thing is, I don't want to I want to be
Speaker 1: known for other things instead of just the guy walking
Speaker 1: around l A. And what's wrong with being known for
Speaker 1: all of it? Trust me, you are very well known
Speaker 1: within the Bachelor community and your own Instagram about how
Speaker 1: you are very adventurous. I agree, but I think that
Speaker 1: what you have to do and you and again I'm
Speaker 1: just an idiot talking right now. I think turned into
Speaker 1: Dean's business class does really I feel like we've gotten
Speaker 1: so far off track. Um, I want to post. I
Speaker 1: want to post things that I like my photographer Friens
Speaker 1: would look at and be like, oh, Dean's doing cool
Speaker 1: things with photography. I don't. I don't care if like
Speaker 1: I don't know, Mary Sue is like, oh, I really
Speaker 1: want to see pictures of Dean and Kalin. You shouldn't
Speaker 1: care about Mary suon. You probably shouldn't care about your
Speaker 1: photographer friends either. You should post about things that you
Speaker 1: want to post about, but that would include your adventures
Speaker 1: and your feels right, But I also hold those things
Speaker 1: to a like. I don't. I don't like not to
Speaker 1: a higher standard. But I want to post things that
Speaker 1: I think are cool, and those things are sometimes hard
Speaker 1: to get. You're trying to say that fiance is not cool.
Speaker 1: She's very cool. I'm really proud of her. She works
Speaker 1: incredibly hard too, She's very I believe I see it.
Speaker 1: But yeah, this this has turned into a Dean business lesson.
Speaker 1: Maybe we should get back onto something. Sorry, it's fascinating
Speaker 1: to me, but it's a good I think it's also
Speaker 1: a good lesson for everybody who's listening about just no
Speaker 1: matter what profession you're in, what profession you want to
Speaker 1: get into, Like, there are certain things that you're just
Speaker 1: gonna have to put work that thick into and also
Speaker 1: not be afraid to work towards those things. And I've
Speaker 1: suffered from the same thing. Like a lot of times
Speaker 1: I don't do things because I'm just afraid of failing,
Speaker 1: because I feel like if I fail, just I'll feel
Speaker 1: like an idiot. But then I try to at least
Speaker 1: center myself and say I'd much rather fail then never
Speaker 1: try at all, because sure, I like when I separate
Speaker 1: myself outside of my body, I'm like, I respect the
Speaker 1: person so much more if they go for it and
Speaker 1: they fail rather than they never try. And so like,
Speaker 1: why am I the person who's afraid to try? When
Speaker 1: I'm I'm looking at that person, be like, no, go
Speaker 1: do it right anyway? All this to say, kids are started.
Speaker 1: If you know my history, We're gonna have kids. And
Speaker 1: I am going to take the kid to every country
Speaker 1: in Africa if I can take him to an Arctica.
Speaker 1: If I can, of course, but I don't want him
Speaker 1: going on a crazy hy to Pakistan. Why not, I'm
Speaker 1: going to throw him in the baby carry on the
Speaker 1: back and bring someone old man died. A little baby
Speaker 1: will be perfect to I don't know, it would be
Speaker 1: cool to have a little baby that you don't like
Speaker 1: your My lifestyle shouldn't change just because we have a baby.
Speaker 1: It's the baby that doesn't even have a lifestyle yet
Speaker 1: that's going to learn the lifestyle that I tell it
Speaker 1: to learn, you know what I mean. That's I think
Speaker 1: it'd be cool to bring a baby to Antarctica. That's
Speaker 1: all I'm saying. Yeah, on a very safe, big commercial
Speaker 1: airline in a very nice hotel. Huh, you don't fly
Speaker 1: to Antarctica. I don't think there's hotels, are there? There's
Speaker 1: like an Antarctica there's nothing. No, there's like a science station,
Speaker 1: but you take a boat. I'm so confused. You're telling
Speaker 1: me that you can't fly into Antarctic. I think that
Speaker 1: they are just now toying with the idea of commercial flights,
Speaker 1: and there are probably private flights. But you can only
Speaker 1: take a boat to Antarctica. Yeah, commercially, you can only
Speaker 1: take boats. I didn't So where are you flying to
Speaker 1: in order to pick up this boat? To an article?
Speaker 1: You're not taking a boat from the States. No, the
Speaker 1: southernmost point in South America. Ushway, you take a three
Speaker 1: It's a three day boat ride from there to Antarctica
Speaker 1: across like the most treacherous seas that you can Debbie.
Speaker 1: Debbie's got some sea legs. She's got no legs yet,
Speaker 1: but she would have some sea legs anyways. Anyways, Um,
Speaker 1: that's that's how I imagine it going. But Kalen and
Speaker 1: I are still young ish, you know. Yeah, but this
Speaker 1: depends on how many kids you want. We'll see. Maybe
Speaker 1: maybe once I put the husband name in front of
Speaker 1: my name, then I'll have a different feeling towards it.
Speaker 1: But and it's interesting, like it's so true you know,
Speaker 1: people have babies all the time with so far, so
Speaker 1: much less than we do. Like, we're incredibly blessed to
Speaker 1: be in the position that we are, and people that
Speaker 1: are less fortunate than us have children and they do
Speaker 1: perfectly fine. They work their balls, their butts off, sorry,
Speaker 1: and and they figured out. And you always find a
Speaker 1: way to figure it out. I am a firm, firm
Speaker 1: believer in that, Like you always find a way to
Speaker 1: figure it out. But I just want some more certainty,
Speaker 1: I guess for my own sake and insanity. But that's
Speaker 1: where we're at. I mean, I think that was a
Speaker 1: great first episode of Help. We suck at being newlywood.
Speaker 1: We're already at each other's throats. It's so good. Oh,
Speaker 1: this is fantastic, What a great dynamic. I thought when
Speaker 1: you were like, can I tell them what your brother said?
Speaker 1: I thought you're gonna say what Ross said, and I
Speaker 1: was gonna be like, yeah, that's a really nice thing
Speaker 1: for him to say. So I say, he said, Dean
Speaker 1: has this all of my greatest qualities and none of
Speaker 1: my worst qualities. I remember him saying that, But when
Speaker 1: did you say that? He said it to me a
Speaker 1: long time ago, and I just told you that. He
Speaker 1: told me that it was like the most meaningful thing
Speaker 1: I've ever said to me. That's not fun to talk about.
Speaker 1: I thought you're going to say, like, yeah, for sure,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, talk about it all the time. You
Speaker 1: guys can follow us at our brand new Instagram. It's
Speaker 1: just it's still the same Instagram, which is changing the handle.
Speaker 1: We are at help we suck at being newlyweds. Of course,
Speaker 1: you can email us at newly weds at I heart
Speaker 1: radio dot com. I think we're gonna start doing emails again,
Speaker 1: which is pretty exciting. We haven't done emails and quite
Speaker 1: some time. I missed the emails. Those are fun times.
Speaker 1: Those were fun times. The callers were great. They gave
Speaker 1: us a nice like back and forth with a live person.
Speaker 1: But the emails have a little bit of nostalgia attached
Speaker 1: to them. Yeah, and I just think it kind of
Speaker 1: went off. I just liked that. I like the better
Speaker 1: the most callers they were. There was some heavy conversations sometimes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember there was like there was just a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff in there, and I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: know if I can, I don't know if we can.
Speaker 1: You should probably just call the cops. Well, thank you
Speaker 1: so much everybody. Kalen, how do you feel? Oh, I'm
Speaker 1: so excited. This is great. Episode one in the books,
Speaker 1: episode one, it was wonderful. Um, you guys are always great,
Speaker 1: So I'm excited for what this podcast is going to be.
Speaker 1: Wish we could do more in studio. So no, it's
Speaker 1: pretty fun in studio. It's not easier. From October most
Speaker 1: of the all the co host will be in l
Speaker 1: this guy anyway. That will do it. For this week's
Speaker 1: episode of Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds, Dean, should
Speaker 1: we listening together? Tune in next week? Yeah, tune in
Speaker 1: next week where maybe just a little bit less for three? Yeah? Yeah, sure,
Speaker 1: next week we suck just a little bit less? Very good,
Speaker 1: I said, damn. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram
Speaker 1: at help We Suck at Being Newlyweds and email us
Speaker 1: at Newlyweds at I heart radio dot com. Make sure
Speaker 1: to write us a review and leave us five stars.
Speaker 1: We'll see you next time. M hm.