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Speaker 1: Two hopeless das one dating app, thendar's you Swipe right.

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Speaker 1: The question is whose love life is more tragic.

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Speaker 2: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates. We're all dressed in

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Speaker 2: our angel wings and adult diapers for a special Valentine's

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Speaker 2: Day edition of Battle of the Tinder Dates, eh, where

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Speaker 2: two of our listeners are going to go head to

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Speaker 2: head to find out whose dating life is the most

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Speaker 2: tragic during the holiday of Love. Oh, we're gonna explain

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Speaker 2: the rules here in just a second. First, let's meet

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Speaker 2: today's contestants in this corner. After she goes on a

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Speaker 2: spicy date, she doesn't shower for a whole week, so

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Speaker 2: they're sent lingers on her clothes. Oh, now, what's that smell? Michelle?

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Speaker 2: You know it's bad if I am even grossed out

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Speaker 2: by Now we.

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Speaker 1: All love in our own ways.

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Speaker 2: And in the other corner, her favorite date night activity

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Speaker 2: is using the public computer at the library to take

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Speaker 2: that steamy BuzzFeed survey on the internet. Mealy, my favorite sound.

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Speaker 1: But you're in the lead already before the game starts.

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Speaker 1: In my opinion, the library that's using the computer.

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Speaker 2: Here's how the game works, one contestant. We'll start by

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Speaker 2: telling one of their worst dating stories that happened around

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Speaker 2: Valentine's Day. Then the other will try and counter with

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Speaker 2: the nightmare story from Valentine's of their own. We're gonna

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Speaker 2: go back and forth for three rounds and then afterwards

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Speaker 2: declare a winner. What's that smell? Michelle? Kick us off?

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Speaker 1: So I went to a guy's place on Valentine's Date.

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Speaker 1: I opened the gifts and it's a bra, but not

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Speaker 1: a new one, you know, not.

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Speaker 2: A new one.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean it's not new? He said that

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Speaker 1: his ex had left ear but he thought his ax

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Speaker 1: about the Yes, about the same five. Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: there's more where that came from. Oh there's more. I

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Speaker 1: earned it.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you have to earn it.

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Speaker 1: You got to earn the used pair of nies for

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Speaker 1: the matching set. Yeah, he said that where it came from.

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Speaker 1: Did you keep the bra?

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Speaker 2: Yes, you could tell. She didn't want to admit it.

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Speaker 2: She really does.

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Speaker 1: Keep on clothes and smell other people.

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Speaker 2: It's Nicole got to hit.

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Speaker 1: Back, so Bunny, all right. So my date came to

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Speaker 1: my house and he texted me that he was here,

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Speaker 1: but he was not at my door.

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Speaker 3: He was outside in my yard dressed.

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Speaker 1: As a singing stupid Imagine just imagine like a man.

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Speaker 3: With a beard, belly and a diaper shooting a plastic

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Speaker 3: boat like in arrows at me. And I'm like, and

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Speaker 3: he's singing, I'm too sexy for my shirt.

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Speaker 1: I thank you, Laugh Mary that man. I laughed, and

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Speaker 1: then I shut my blinds.

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Speaker 2: This is why men should never try here on the

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Speaker 2: round number two, Michelle, back to you.

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Speaker 1: All right, So my day showed up with flowers and

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Speaker 1: a card. But when I started reading it, it didn't

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Speaker 1: really make any kind of sense at all. It was

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Speaker 1: all about like being settled down and raising a family.

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Speaker 1: And that's when I realized he wrote this for his wife.

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Speaker 1: Oh wait, what he gave you the wrong card, so thisten.

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Speaker 1: I called him out on it and and he apologized

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Speaker 1: and then he ran back to the car to get

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Speaker 1: the correct card.

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Speaker 2: Wow, he did have a card written for you. What

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Speaker 2: a sweetheart.

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Speaker 1: Drop some stuff out. It's like day, I would like

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Speaker 1: any other women's stuff all the time.

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Speaker 2: All right, Nicole, can you counter?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 3: Okay, So my date came over to my place and

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Speaker 3: he told me that he had like this sweet romantic

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Speaker 3: movie that we could put on.

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Speaker 1: It was his wedding video, and he kept.

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Speaker 3: Pointing at himself and saying like, look closely, I think

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Speaker 3: this is a heart where I cry. Oh he's still married,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 1: I asked him, and he was like, well, it's a

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Speaker 1: it's complicated.

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Speaker 2: There's so many romantic men out there.

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Speaker 3: That's not the vulnerable moment.

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Speaker 2: Here we go, it's our third and final round. We

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Speaker 2: need your best stories, ladies from Valentine's Michelle, what do

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Speaker 2: you got? All?

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Speaker 1: Right? So I had a date that invited me over

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Speaker 1: for dinner at his place, you know, and I assume

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Speaker 1: he was making me, like, you know, a nice romantic meal.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 1: And it turned out that he lived with his parents

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Speaker 1: and his dad was actually the one that was cooking

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Speaker 1: for his mom already up like they just got out

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Speaker 1: an extra table setting and pulled out a chair and

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Speaker 1: the four of us sat down for romantic candle with

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Speaker 1: dinner and his dad his dad kept joking like he

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Speaker 1: was going to get lucky for the night. Oh was

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Speaker 1: he right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Never mind, go to our last one with Nicole. Here

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Speaker 2: we go.

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Speaker 3: So I had a date with a guy and at

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Speaker 3: the end of the night he went to his car

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Speaker 3: to give me a stuffed animal because he remember I

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Speaker 3: said that I.

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Speaker 1: Like them a lot. When he gave it to me, I.

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Speaker 3: Started freaking out because it was literally a stuffed.

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Speaker 1: Animal that was once alive.

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Speaker 3: Yes it was. It was a squirrel carcass like on

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Speaker 3: a stand, and he was super proud of it. It's

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Speaker 3: just it's that he was into taxi dermy.

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Speaker 1: Oh, it was giving so funny.

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Speaker 3: You could make it like do little things like a

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Speaker 3: little squirrel going.

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Speaker 1: Hometown.

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Speaker 2: Those are all this stuff. That's the final BALLT means

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Speaker 2: match is over, Judges, let's score this real quick. Alexis,

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Speaker 2: who do you want to win?

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna go Nicole for the wedding.

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Speaker 2: Video guy, that's one for update on the pole. Nicole.

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Speaker 3: Oh no, I'm going to Michelle with a parent candle

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Speaker 3: at dinner.

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Speaker 2: Down to me. I'm gonna go with Michelle. Congratulations. What's

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Speaker 2: that snow?

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Speaker 1: Michelle? You have of the worst stating history.

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Speaker 2: Just Balentine's Day.

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Speaker 3: Though, yeah, yeah, wait till the fifteenth.

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Speaker 2: Just put on your reuse bra and that was Battle

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Speaker 2: of Tender Dates Valentine's edition. Your phone tap is coming

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Speaker 2: up right after

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Speaker 3: This, freaking Jeffrey in the morning,