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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient

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Speaker 1: two case Storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient

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Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. If you want to

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Speaker 1: hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more

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Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for

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Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so.

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Speaker 2: I refuse to wear pants at home. Now my roommate's

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Speaker 2: girlfriend is furious. My roommate and I have been friends

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Speaker 2: since middle school nearly eleven years, and we are very

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Speaker 2: comfortable with each other. He identifies as SIS and straight,

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Speaker 2: while I identify as they them non binary APAB and

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Speaker 2: queer slash saffiic. By the way, this comes from consistent

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Speaker 2: ad two two four, and if you want to submit

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Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So,

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Speaker 2: at no point has our friendship been anything more than platonic,

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Speaker 2: going as far as both of us making the same

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Speaker 2: sour face when my boss mistakenly referred to him as

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend. Wants, needless to say, we're very comfortable with

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Speaker 2: each other.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 2: I don't know about anybody else, but I don't like

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Speaker 2: wearing pants. More often than not, they feel itchy and restricting,

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Speaker 2: so I frequently wear a pair of boxers around the

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Speaker 2: house Bickley briefs with a longer leg that could pass

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Speaker 2: as really small.

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Speaker 4: And tight shorts. This is not the issue.

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Speaker 2: Roomy and I both do this as we have an

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Speaker 2: understanding that the human body is just that, nothing to

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Speaker 2: scandalize or hide away. We live in a house that

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Speaker 2: Roomy owns and I pay rent to him. A few

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Speaker 2: weeks ago, he asked if I would be uncomfortable if

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Speaker 2: he asked his long term girlfriend to move in. I

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Speaker 2: had no problem with this, as I've met her quite

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Speaker 2: a few times and she's absolutely lovely. Our dog that

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Speaker 2: doesn't really trust people warmed up to her almost immediately,

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Speaker 2: as did my cat and my rats. Fast forward to

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Speaker 2: last week. She moves in and we're having dinner together

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Speaker 2: her first night. We're laughing, drinking, having a good time.

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Speaker 2: Then the conversation of house boundaries comes up. She wants

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Speaker 2: to make sure I'm not going to be uncomfortable as

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Speaker 2: I'm living with them as a couple, and wants to

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Speaker 2: know my opinion on things like PDA around the house

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Speaker 2: and their spicy sleep life.

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Speaker 4: I told them.

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Speaker 2: I don't really care about PDA as it's her house

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Speaker 2: now too, and if they're going to have spicy sleep,

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Speaker 2: I would prefer if it was contained mostly to their

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Speaker 2: bedroom or bathroom, places I don't have to interact with

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Speaker 2: and places they can easily clean. I also said, I

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Speaker 2: don't care if they do it when I'm home, but

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Speaker 2: to keep the volume to a minimum, at the very

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Speaker 2: least low enough that I can't hear them through noise

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Speaker 2: canceling headphones.

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Speaker 4: I feel like that's just like normal, decent normal.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't.

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Speaker 2: You shouldn't have to have gloiation about that, And if

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Speaker 2: they need me out of the house for an hour

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Speaker 2: or two, to just give me a heads up so

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Speaker 2: I can make plans. Then it was my turn. I

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Speaker 2: asked if she was comfortable with me bringing friends slash

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Speaker 2: potential partners, over which she had no issue with. I

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Speaker 2: asked about the pants thing, explaining the over stimulation problems

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Speaker 2: I have. We're both on the spectrum, so she understood

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Speaker 2: it and said she would just prefer if I didn't

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Speaker 2: do it in front of her. Totally understandable. Not everyone

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Speaker 2: is comfortable with it, So I said I would put

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Speaker 2: on a pair of sweatpants or a robe if I

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Speaker 2: needed to leave my room while she was home. A

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Speaker 2: few days ago, I was home alone making dinner in

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Speaker 2: the kitchen when she came home from work early. Everyone

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Speaker 2: in the house works in some sort of medical field

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Speaker 2: with a very set schedule and routine, so this was

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Speaker 2: a surprise for sure. I didn't hear her coming in

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Speaker 2: the door in time to get to my room and

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Speaker 2: pull something on, but luckily I was wearing an oversized sweatshirt.

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Speaker 2: I quickly pulled it down to try to cover up

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Speaker 2: at least a bit more. As I profusely apologized to

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Speaker 2: her and awkwardly excused myself and ran away to go

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Speaker 2: put on actual shorts. I thought everything was fine until

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Speaker 2: last night, when she confronted me. She said she thought

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Speaker 2: she was fine with it, but coming home the other

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Speaker 2: afternoon made her realize she really was uncomfortable with the

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Speaker 2: idea of me walking around unclothed. I apologized again, saying

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Speaker 2: I absolutely would have put pants on if I knew

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Speaker 2: she was going to be home early, but I was

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Speaker 2: really sorry that I had made her comfortable regardless, she

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Speaker 2: asked that I not walk around without pants anymore. Ever,

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Speaker 2: I asked for clarification and questioned why it would matter

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Speaker 2: if she wasn't home, and offered maybe she could text

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Speaker 2: me next time she was coming home early so we

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Speaker 2: could avoid it happening again. She said she doesn't want

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Speaker 2: to be responsible for my actions and would prefer if

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Speaker 2: I would just not do it. I laughed a bit,

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Speaker 2: thinking she was joking.

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Speaker 5: She was not.

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Speaker 2: She wants me to wear pants all the time, regardless

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Speaker 2: of if she's home or not, even when I'm in

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Speaker 2: my room with the door closed.

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Speaker 4: I told her, absolutely not.

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Speaker 2: I have no problem putting pants on when I'm around her,

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Speaker 2: but I will not be forced to put pants on

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Speaker 2: in the privacy of my own bedroom. She stormed off,

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Speaker 2: seemingly pretty frustrated. And I don't really like where the

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Speaker 2: conversation ended. But am I the a hole?

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Speaker 4: We do have comment?

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Speaker 5: You are literally wearing shorts in your house covered. You're

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Speaker 5: wearing shorts.

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Speaker 4: If things were like hanging out, I'd be like, yeah.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that would be maybe not so cool, But they're not.

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Speaker 5: You're wearing shorts.

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Speaker 2: Yes, And to say that you can never be unclosed

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Speaker 2: in your room, you must re.

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Speaker 5: Name covered for the rest of your life.

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Speaker 4: I want you to shower in clothes.

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Speaker 5: I cannot bear to think about your unclothed body.

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Speaker 6: Uh.

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Speaker 4: We have some comments comment one.

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Speaker 2: So if it was just the common areas she wanted

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Speaker 2: you to wear pants in, I'd think it was more reasonable.

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Speaker 2: But in the privacy of your own room she can

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Speaker 2: f right off with that. I'd suggest just getting something

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Speaker 2: else you can slip on quick. Someone else suggested basketball shorts,

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Speaker 2: which sound perfect for this, and do whatever the f

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Speaker 2: you want in your private space, and OP responds, I'm

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Speaker 2: on the thicker side, so they tend to ride up

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Speaker 2: weirdly and I have to adjust them pretty frequently when

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Speaker 2: moving around. They're great for lounging, though, thank you for.

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Speaker 4: The suggestion comment too.

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Speaker 2: Perhaps she is uncomfortable because she finds the sight of

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Speaker 2: your legs attractive, and she deep down fancies you, but

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Speaker 2: is so deep in the closet that she refuses to

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Speaker 2: recognize it. Then she thinks if I get turned on

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Speaker 2: when she when they walk about like that, then so

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Speaker 2: will my boyfriend. Anyway, not the a hole. She can't

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Speaker 2: control what you wear in the privacy of your own room,

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Speaker 2: even if she was the head tenant. This was your

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Speaker 2: home before it was hers, and it is her who

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Speaker 2: must adapt. Comment three, has this been discussed with your roommate?

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Speaker 2: He needs to know about her one point eighty What

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Speaker 2: you do in your bedroom is none of her business,

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Speaker 2: and we have an update.

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Speaker 6: Boy, oh boy.

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Speaker 2: As for moving out, that's not financially possible for me

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Speaker 2: at the moment. My income has tanked severely since Roomy

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Speaker 2: and I got our original apartment four years ago, and

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Speaker 2: because it's his house now, we negotiated a deal that

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Speaker 2: worked out best for both of us until I can

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Speaker 2: get my schooling done and get back on my feet.

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Speaker 2: As part of our original agreement, I called a house

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Speaker 2: meeting to discuss a major problem in a safe space.

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Speaker 2: I started it by addressing Roomy by saying, I'm sure

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Speaker 2: girlfriend has talked to you about the discomfort she has

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Speaker 2: with me and Boxer. Here's the kicker. He had no

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Speaker 2: idea what I was talking about. She didn't bring it

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Speaker 2: up to him, and she seemed really embarrassed that I

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Speaker 2: was making a house meeting out of the wall.

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Speaker 5: Then maybe you shouldn't have made a problem out of it.

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Speaker 2: Rumy kindly but firmly defended me, almost immediately, reiterating that

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Speaker 2: those were they agreed upon rules and wanted to know

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Speaker 2: what a change. Girlfriend grew increasingly tense as she threw

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Speaker 2: out half budded responses like my cheek was hanging out

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Speaker 2: or they are see through, neither of which are possible

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Speaker 2: due to the length and nature of the fabric. Shout

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Speaker 2: out Mundy's Roomy asked one more time if this was

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Speaker 2: going to continue to be a problem when girlfriends started

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Speaker 2: to tear up. Both of us panicked because she's typically

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Speaker 2: a stoic and calm person otherwise. This is when she

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Speaker 2: revealed she has been struggling with her gender slash spicy

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Speaker 2: related identity for a few months now.

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Speaker 6: God wait, no, she is everyone trolled it.

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Speaker 5: She real she is attracted.

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Speaker 2: Her family is somewhat conservative, but not in the God

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Speaker 2: hates attracted to the same gender ways, but more along

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Speaker 2: the lines of.

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Speaker 4: That's not for us.

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Speaker 2: She'd been repressing the thoughts and emotions for a few

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Speaker 2: months at that point, and apparently unexpectedly coming home to

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Speaker 2: me in a pair of underwear and a massive sweatshirt

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Speaker 2: on was the straw that broke the camel's back, cementing

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Speaker 2: her attraction.

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Speaker 6: Wet shirt.

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Speaker 2: Shirt, tormenting her attraction to more than one identity. Apparently

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Speaker 2: she had been thinking about asking me about it for

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Speaker 2: a few days at that point, but the shock of

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Speaker 2: coming home to that and how it made her feel

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Speaker 2: scared her and I caught some misdirected frustration.

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Speaker 4: Slash anger, we have another update.

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Speaker 5: But wow, Okay, I think it's gonna turn out Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 5: unless your roommate is upset that his girlfriend is into you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I mean, if this goes beyond just the girlfriend being.

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Speaker 2: Like I realize, attracted to a lot of people, and

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Speaker 2: goes into like I'm in love with you, yeah, she might.

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Speaker 6: Just move out here.

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Speaker 4: She might be like she's like my boyfriend.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: We had a long conversation about what being queer in

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Speaker 2: both senses of the word meant to me and what

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Speaker 2: she related to most. She is still very much attracted

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Speaker 2: to and in love with Rumy, so we settled with

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Speaker 2: her more than likely being somewhere in the Bye tupan

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Speaker 2: spicy related spectrum. Turns out the two of them have

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Speaker 2: the same taste.

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Speaker 4: In fem people.

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Speaker 6: They do they both like you?

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Speaker 4: No, because that was very apparently not the case at

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Speaker 4: the beginning.

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Speaker 6: I don't okay.

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Speaker 2: That was my initial thought too, though, and before anyone

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Speaker 2: gets any ideas. None of us match each other's type.

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Speaker 5: Well apparently your Oh well yes, Matt, so you're her type.

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Speaker 2: But but her and I planning on going window shopping

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Speaker 2: and a fashion show in the premiere artisanal boutique called

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Speaker 2: My Closet this weekend to further experience the fem to

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Speaker 2: mask clothing spectrum. Best part is it's super close to

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Speaker 2: our house. All we have to do is walk up

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Speaker 2: a flight of stairs. I'm assuming they're talking about their

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Speaker 2: own closet.

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Speaker 6: I think so. I think so.

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Speaker 4: Not the most dramatic ending, but everybody's happy.

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Speaker 5: Yay perfect, That's all we needed.

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Speaker 3: I love it.

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Speaker 5: I had an allergic reaction and my friend thought I

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Speaker 5: was making it up.

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Speaker 4: You're not actually allergic.

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Speaker 5: So I eighteen female have a thing going on with

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Speaker 5: my group of friends for pretty much all of high

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Speaker 5: school that we hang out on Sunday evenings at someone's house.

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Speaker 6: The host changes.

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Speaker 5: Week to week, whoever is able to host that week.

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Speaker 6: That's fun.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from throw a Dish and

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Speaker 5: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 5: the r slash Okay storytime separate it. So anyways, the

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Speaker 5: agreed upon thing was that we all chip in like

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Speaker 5: five dollars for food, usually pizza and stuff. Some gave

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Speaker 5: more if someone else was in a rough spot, and

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Speaker 5: it always works fine. One friend, Carla's eighteen female parents

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Speaker 5: own a pretty successful restaurant, so they liked to cook

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Speaker 5: rather than just order pizza, which is great on its own.

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Speaker 5: We all still chip in five dollars or so for ingredients.

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Speaker 5: The problem that happened is the dad who likes to

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Speaker 5: cook doesn't take criticism well and always make something I

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Speaker 5: either can't eat due to allergies or just am not into.

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Speaker 5: I stopped joining in slash chipping in money when they

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Speaker 5: would host, so I wouldn't let so I wasn't a

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Speaker 5: letdown for a while. I had definitely been as clear

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Speaker 5: as an awkward girl can be about what my issues

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Speaker 5: analogies were. My family has never been very wealthy and well,

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Speaker 5: we ended up homeless for a while, so the hangout

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Speaker 5: nights became a night I could eat something special without

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Speaker 5: worrying too much. Plus, my friends were always great about

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Speaker 5: sending me back with leftovers if they could, so Sunday

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Speaker 5: I decided to join in on the meal at Carlo's house. Again,

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Speaker 5: I gave money for it. Per usual, it turned out

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Speaker 5: to once again be something I'm allergic to. I wanted

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Speaker 5: to cry because essentially I wasted five dollars that I

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Speaker 5: could have used, not wanting to confront them about getting

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Speaker 5: the money back or being a party pooper. I ate

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00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:09,679
Speaker 5: some Now the allergy wasn't anaphalactic, but I broke out

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Speaker 5: in hives. My face was very red and swollen. Two

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Speaker 5: more friends told me I was being an attention seeker,

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Speaker 5: and someone else told me I ruined nights at Carla's house.

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Speaker 6: So am I the ale.

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Speaker 5: I didn't want this to happen at all, and I

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Speaker 5: don't want to lose my friends. And there are some

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Speaker 5: relevant comments, but a lot of people are saying, not

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Speaker 5: the a hole. Opie is eighteen years old, is you

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Speaker 5: know has been unhoused? Clearly is he you know?

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Speaker 6: Yeah? Has food in security?

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Speaker 5: Comes to this house, pays five dollars, is given something

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Speaker 5: that they cannot eat, eats it because they don't want to,

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Speaker 5: like cause a fuss.

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Speaker 4: Or waste the five dollars that they have dollars.

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Speaker 5: Because again they are food insecure, and then everyone gets

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Speaker 5: mad at them.

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Speaker 4: It's insane, insane.

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Speaker 5: Stay at home babe says Info. Did Clara and her

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Speaker 5: dad both know what your allergies were? Opie says, yes,

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Speaker 5: all my friends and their parents know since I often

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Speaker 5: have meals at their house. My parents have always been

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Speaker 5: careful about where and what I eat.

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Speaker 6: Need to know.

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Speaker 5: Basis says everyone sucks here. You said you didn't chip

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Speaker 5: in whenever Carla hosted because her dad completely disregards your allergies.

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Speaker 5: Why did you think this time would be different? Then

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Speaker 5: you ate, knowing you were going to have a reaction.

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Speaker 5: You should have sat this went out like you've been

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Speaker 5: doing ps. The dad is a bigger a hole and

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Speaker 5: the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. They need

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Speaker 5: to get over themselves. Opie says, I realized that now

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Speaker 5: I should have sat out. But on Thursday, when we

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Speaker 5: found out Carla was going to be hosting again, I

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Speaker 5: told my friends that I wanted to try it again

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Speaker 5: and reminded Carla about my allergies. In Specifix, Sinny and

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Speaker 5: Twiggy says Info, what happened the first time they made

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Speaker 5: something you're allergic to that you remind them about it.

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Speaker 5: It must be super frustrating not being able to eat.

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Speaker 5: But also if there's a larger group of you. Maybe

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Speaker 5: Dad needed reminding of allergies in the group, Opie says,

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Speaker 5: I reminded Carla the first time, and after that I

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Speaker 5: would remind her when it was her turn hosting.

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Speaker 6: Sinnied.

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Speaker 5: Twiggy says, everyone sucks here. You knew what happened if

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Speaker 5: you eat the food. But also they should take your

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Speaker 5: dietary needs into account. Maybe your folks could speak to

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Speaker 5: Carlo's folks. D needs to understand you can't eat certain

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Speaker 5: things and that money is tight so you don't want

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Speaker 5: to waste it. Obi says, that's a good idea. I'll

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Speaker 5: ask if they can talk to them. My mom doesn't

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Speaker 5: really know what happened. I was waiting to see it

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Speaker 5: if it would die down, but Carla hasn't spoken to

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Speaker 5: me all week, and Alex is hosting this Sunday, but

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Speaker 5: I don't know if I'll make it awkward by going,

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Speaker 5: So I'll tell my mom in the morning. And there

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Speaker 5: are more comments, so we're gonna pause here.

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Speaker 4: So it's a rotating dinner thing.

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Speaker 6: It's a rotating dinner thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, every other house is able to accommodate your allergies,

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Speaker 2: so clearly it's nothing crazy to try to have to

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Speaker 2: fix to adapt to.

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Speaker 5: Also, there's like, no allergies are that hard, Like you

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Speaker 5: can adapt to any allergy?

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, really, like they have been reminded of said allergies.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure that they you know that they're having housing

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Speaker 2: in food troubles.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And how do you say everyone sucks here?

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Speaker 5: I don't kid like, I truly like I understand maybe

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Speaker 5: to like Opie is an ale to themselves in the

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Speaker 5: sense that like they put themselves.

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Speaker 6: In d Yeah, but they no one was listening.

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Speaker 2: To her, right, It's a point of like such frustration

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Speaker 2: that you're like, fine.

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Speaker 6: I'll eat it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, Okay, you're gonna give me the stuff that I

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Speaker 5: paid for that I cannot eat?

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Speaker 6: Fine?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, oh I broke in hives choker, Yeah.

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Speaker 6: Like I don't. I don't. I don't think that Ope

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Speaker 6: is the whole for this. Uh.

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Speaker 5: Calico Gray says, everyone saying that you're a moron for

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00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:39,720
Speaker 5: eating stuff you're allergic to probably doesn't know what it's

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00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:43,360
Speaker 5: like to be really poor and desperately hungry, not the ale.

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Speaker 5: I'm sorry that everyone has reacted so badly, and op

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00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,480
Speaker 5: says it definitely was a dumb decision on my part.

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Speaker 5: I just didn't expect it to affect other people. I

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Speaker 5: suppose I didn't expect to lose friends over this bog

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Speaker 5: which says, seriously, I haven't seen anyone point this sound

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Speaker 5: until now. What kind of friends are aware of the

351
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,960
Speaker 5: situation Opie and their family are in and still make

352
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,000
Speaker 5: them contribute five dollars to the group dinner every time?

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00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,000
Speaker 5: I know Carla's dad is apparently buying ingredients with the

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00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,600
Speaker 5: pooled money, but it still seems like a ridiculous amount

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Speaker 5: to be charging an eighteen year old kids who don't

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Speaker 5: have an independent source of income if you insist on

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00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 5: cooking versus them choosing to order a pizza. Even in

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00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,520
Speaker 5: the latter scenario, if I were eighteen and told my

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00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,160
Speaker 5: not wealthy parents that my friend and their family were

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Speaker 5: going through all of this so it was really hard

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Speaker 5: for them to scrape together a spare five dollars for

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00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,880
Speaker 5: pizza with the group, they would have walked to their wallets,

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00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,480
Speaker 5: pulled out twenty dollars and told me to make sure

364
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,480
Speaker 5: I paid for both of us and to give my

365
00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:44,240
Speaker 5: friend the change to keep after OPI are your friends

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00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:46,880
Speaker 5: from wealthy or privileged backgrounds where they can't wrap their

367
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:50,920
Speaker 5: head around your situation or something. They're extremely naive and sheltered,

368
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,880
Speaker 5: and what's far worse is they seem to lack any empathy.

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00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,760
Speaker 5: Totally not the ale Opie says. I know I'm late

370
00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,600
Speaker 5: to reply to this comment, but to answer, I actually

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00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:03,280
Speaker 5: am one of the only poor kids in my friend group.

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Speaker 5: Carly is funnily enough, the wealthiest and knows it very well.

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Speaker 5: Definitely makes sense here. That's partly why the friends who

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00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:12,560
Speaker 5: are upset with me are upset that I may have

375
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:16,520
Speaker 5: ruined Carla hosting, since her house is extremely nice and

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00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,440
Speaker 5: we usually get the whole furnished basement speed to ourselves

377
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,119
Speaker 5: when we go there. I only hosted a few times

378
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Speaker 5: in the past, and everyone's probably too nice to say anything.

379
00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,520
Speaker 5: The more I say about it, the more cliche it sounds.

380
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,240
Speaker 5: But I'm honestly from a rougher part of town. I

381
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 5: just grew up with my friends through common interests. We

382
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,880
Speaker 5: don't usually talk about money because it's a big insecurity

383
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:39,760
Speaker 5: of mine. Oh, Pisa and edit. Okay, this has got

384
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Speaker 5: a lot more attention than I was expecting. I'd like

385
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,760
Speaker 5: to clarify a few things and answer some questions. I'm

386
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:49,400
Speaker 5: not really upset at Carla or her parents more frustrated

387
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,919
Speaker 5: it happened this way. I didn't want any conflict at all.

388
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,480
Speaker 5: I was not aware that allergies worsen with exposure, nor

389
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 5: do I often expose myself to my allergens. It's been

390
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,159
Speaker 5: a long time since I've had an allergic reaction, so

391
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:06,080
Speaker 5: I admit my knowledge needs to be updated, and that's

392
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 5: my own responsibility. So did they even give ope, like

393
00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:12,359
Speaker 5: a like oh he had a yeah, But I think

394
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Speaker 5: they like she brought it herself.

395
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:16,639
Speaker 6: Yeah, I don't think I have a feeling checked in

396
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:16,919
Speaker 6: on her.

397
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:17,679
Speaker 4: Oh I'm sure not.

398
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 2: It seemed like it was a pretty quick like yeah,

399
00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:23,840
Speaker 2: oh he probably in anticipation that they would have their

400
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,399
Speaker 2: allergy in that night, was like immediately like eat it.

401
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:31,080
Speaker 5: Five dollars is a lot of money for me right now.

402
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,239
Speaker 5: To those who are asking why I would still do that,

403
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:36,119
Speaker 5: my family and I discussed that chipping in five dollars

404
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,920
Speaker 5: was okay if I get to have a good, warm

405
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,560
Speaker 5: meal out of it. My friends also spotted me money

406
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:43,760
Speaker 5: most weeks. This week just happened to be a full

407
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 5: five week for me, if that makes sense. And then

408
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:49,600
Speaker 5: mini update. I talked to Alex and showed him this post.

409
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,879
Speaker 5: He supports me. After a longish discussion, I went to

410
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:54,960
Speaker 5: my mom and told her as well what happens, and

411
00:18:55,080 --> 00:18:57,480
Speaker 5: she didn't know. She's going to be having a conversation

412
00:18:57,560 --> 00:19:00,840
Speaker 5: with Carlo's parents about it all. So I'll probably update

413
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,120
Speaker 5: when that happens if people want it, and folks, there

414
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 5: is an update. I'm really excited for our parents to

415
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 5: be like you, Suh.

416
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 4: I'm so excited.

417
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 5: You're beating our child food that they can't eat. Yeah,

418
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 5: and making them pay five dollars for it. Ridiculous not ool.

419
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:22,199
Speaker 5: Two weeks later, folks, hey guys, shoot up up. I

420
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,679
Speaker 5: realized I was being an a hole to myself and

421
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:28,360
Speaker 5: shouldn't have done that, thankfully for the people in the comments.

422
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,080
Speaker 5: I also realized I needed to stand up for myself

423
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 5: and get to the bottom of what actually happened in

424
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,760
Speaker 5: communication about my allergies. First, I showed the post to

425
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,960
Speaker 5: Alex and we had a long talk about my self

426
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,760
Speaker 5: esteem and financial issues, which I rarely talk about due

427
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:43,560
Speaker 5: to insecurity.

428
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,760
Speaker 6: He's a really good guy, good news.

429
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 5: He's extremely supportive and actually his family offered us their

430
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:49,760
Speaker 5: guest base to.

431
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,679
Speaker 6: Stay in for a while until we get back on

432
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:52,119
Speaker 6: our feet.

433
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Speaker 5: I've got a part time job on weekends through the holidays,

434
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 5: and my dad started a new job about a month ago,

435
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:01,040
Speaker 5: so we're saving now. Second, I showed my parents the post,

436
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,240
Speaker 5: and they were disappointed in me for doing that to

437
00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,359
Speaker 5: myself and not telling me. Understandably, they did what some

438
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 5: suggested and met with Carla's parents to discuss things. This

439
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 5: is all kind of messy, so I'll sum it up

440
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 5: as best I can. So, Carla's dad did have a

441
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,440
Speaker 5: list of my allergies before that. My parents gave him

442
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:23,359
Speaker 5: years ago, which he lost when they moved houses. Apparently

443
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,160
Speaker 5: Carla never gave him an updated list despite me giving

444
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,680
Speaker 5: them to her. She thought I was making them up.

445
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 5: So now Carla's parents are upset with her, and her

446
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,720
Speaker 5: dad apologized for his lack of initiative and for scaring me.

447
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,800
Speaker 5: I apologize for not standing up for myself. There is

448
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 5: a little bit left to the story. Do you have

449
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:39,879
Speaker 5: any final thoughts?

450
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:46,080
Speaker 2: Okay, one thing to clarify. They're now living in Carla's basement.

451
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 5: No no, no, no, So Alex is an Alex.

452
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:50,040
Speaker 6: Alex.

453
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,600
Speaker 4: I just missed whose basement it was.

454
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,640
Speaker 2: I mean, sounds like you don't need Carla as a friend.

455
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,040
Speaker 5: Truthfully, I would like reach out to all the friends

456
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,280
Speaker 5: and be like yeah, or like, you know, one on

457
00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 5: one talk with them, say we're not really going to

458
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:06,680
Speaker 5: be my allergies. So that's why, you know.

459
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,000
Speaker 2: It's probably gonna be a situation where Carla's is still

460
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,119
Speaker 2: at dinners.

461
00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:11,720
Speaker 4: Maybe maybe you can.

462
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 5: I do fear that a lot of the friends are

463
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 5: gonna side with Carla because she's rich.

464
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 4: I do fear that as well. And they were like, oh,

465
00:21:17,840 --> 00:21:19,919
Speaker 4: she's got the cool house, been so fun, and we

466
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 4: get the whole thing for dinner.

467
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,800
Speaker 5: Which is crazy because she's they're all eighteen, Like these

468
00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 5: aren't children, you know at all, So really ridiculous. But

469
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 5: w Alex, w Alex, my friend group is unfortunately still

470
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,640
Speaker 5: kind of fractured since I don't know if I can

471
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,600
Speaker 5: trust Carla anymore. Her attitude through this whole thing has

472
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 5: not been nice, and I realize she's never cared for

473
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000
Speaker 5: me as much as some of my other friends. So

474
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 5: for now, weekly meetings are off. The friends who's stuck

475
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 5: by Carla's side during the mess still haven't really talked

476
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,000
Speaker 5: to me Alex or the other few friends in our group.

477
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 5: Maybe that's for the best, though, I want to thank

478
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 5: everyone who's helped me. I'm sure this will help me

479
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:59,639
Speaker 5: in future situations. I'm very thankful for outside perspective. And

480
00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 5: Opie says that Carla Oh, I didn't want to go

481
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 5: on in the post into what she said to me

482
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,080
Speaker 5: after our parents meeting and stuff, because I can't believe

483
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 5: she acted this way. I'm sad because we were friends

484
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 5: for a while, but thankfully I found out her real

485
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:16,120
Speaker 5: feelings about me. I guess, and Opie says, I don't

486
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 5: think she's jealous. I'm pretty sure she thinks she's better

487
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,920
Speaker 5: than I am. She could have a crush on Alex,

488
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 5: but I don't want to speculate. To be honest, I

489
00:22:23,119 --> 00:22:24,640
Speaker 5: had a crush on him for like ever.

490
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:28,439
Speaker 6: Lol. Yeah, I knew that. Yeah, we all that.

491
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 5: You said, It's pretty great, all new it was letting

492
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:34,080
Speaker 5: you stay with him and his family.

493
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:34,880
Speaker 6: He likes your girl.

494
00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

495
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 5: Lil Lucky Duck says, I'm not sure if I should

496
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 5: comment this, but you mentioned showing your last post to

497
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:43,600
Speaker 5: some people in your life Alex and parents, which means

498
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 5: they might follow up again see the post. I just

499
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,240
Speaker 5: don't want you to accidentally give someone the four one

500
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,879
Speaker 5: one on your crush if you're not ready. So true,

501
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 5: Opie says, thanks for the concern, I appreciate it. Alex

502
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:59,119
Speaker 5: already knows, but neither of us is in a place

503
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:00,200
Speaker 5: for relationship right now.

504
00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:00,640
Speaker 6: He said.

505
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 5: He likes me back, but our friendship comes first, like

506
00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,479
Speaker 5: you probably keeping together.

507
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, but.

508
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 6: Folks, at the end of that story.

509
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 2: My friend reached out after years of no contact for

510
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 2: help with her wedding.

511
00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 5: You know, just get a waltz back.

512
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 2: So for context, I twenty eight female, had two best

513
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,640
Speaker 2: friends for the past ten years. Let's call them Julia

514
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:34,360
Speaker 2: twenty nine female and Leah, also twenty nine female. Julia

515
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,920
Speaker 2: and Leah have been friends since childhood, and Julia, who

516
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 2: I met in college, was pretty much the link between

517
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,119
Speaker 2: me and Leah, which means that Leah and I didn't

518
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 2: really get along very much if it wasn't for Julia.

519
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,840
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from I hate this part,

520
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:52,040
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

521
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,199
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. Like I said before,

522
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,160
Speaker 2: I became friends with Julia in college and we clicked immediately.

523
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 2: Our ma was pretty heavy, which made us spend twelve

524
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 2: plus hours a day every day on campus, so we

525
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 2: bonded and soon became best friends and started spending time

526
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 2: together after classes too. This is how I met her

527
00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:16,480
Speaker 2: best friend, Leah. College was absolutely the worst for me.

528
00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:20,120
Speaker 2: I was exhausted, felt worthless, and thought I would never

529
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,760
Speaker 2: succeed in life, while Julia was always acing which low

530
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 2: KI made me feel worse about myself because I thought

531
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:30,159
Speaker 2: something was wrong with me. Julia and Leah graduated before

532
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 2: me and got jobs while I was still figuring out

533
00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 2: how to finish my degree. Considering that the VID happened

534
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 2: during my senior year, really well fast forward, I graduated

535
00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 2: and was very surprised to receive a call from someone

536
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,160
Speaker 2: one week after getting my results asking if I would

537
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,919
Speaker 2: like to work. I said yes immediately without even knowing

538
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 2: the details. I uh, just having in mind that I

539
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 2: wouldn't get many opportunities, so I shouldn't be picky. Turns out,

540
00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,440
Speaker 2: it was a good offer from a big company where

541
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,280
Speaker 2: I'm still working until this day, but it was very demanding.

542
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,359
Speaker 2: For a couple of months, my only focus was making

543
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,679
Speaker 2: sure I kept this job and I didn't take it

544
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 2: for granted. For the first time in many years, I

545
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 2: finally felt like things were going well and that I

546
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,720
Speaker 2: wasn't as bad as I thought I was during college.

547
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 2: The problem is I didn't realize that I hadn't spoken

548
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:23,280
Speaker 2: to Julia and Leah in a while. At this point,

549
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:25,959
Speaker 2: they both had quit their jobs and were trying to

550
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,040
Speaker 2: do some freelancing. I tried to contact them to ask

551
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,400
Speaker 2: how they were and how and how things were going,

552
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 2: yet I was met with very cold, short messages that

553
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:37,920
Speaker 2: kind of caught me off guard. Turns out they got

554
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:40,840
Speaker 2: upset about me disappearing and didn't understand that I had

555
00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 2: been very, very busy trying to change my whole life.

556
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,880
Speaker 2: Long story short. After some fights and some petty moments,

557
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 2: I stopped talking to Julia and Leah for around three

558
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:55,239
Speaker 2: years now. For the main part, three years later, I

559
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: received a random call from Leah asking me if I

560
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,240
Speaker 2: was free to grab a coffee. I found it weird,

561
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,679
Speaker 2: but I accepted anyway, just to see.

562
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 4: What she had to say. It was just me and her.

563
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:08,399
Speaker 2: We had a bit of small talk to break the

564
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 2: ice and gave brief updates to each other about what

565
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 2: was going on in our lives, et cetera. I eventually

566
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,359
Speaker 2: asked her why she decided to call me after so long,

567
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 2: and she said she wanted to apologize for turning her

568
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,919
Speaker 2: back on me three years before because she got a

569
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:25,440
Speaker 2: job offer recently and Julia acted the same way with her.

570
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 6: I love that.

571
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,840
Speaker 5: Opie said that, Uh, I was really busy figuring out

572
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 5: my entire life, so I just.

573
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 4: Cut all my friends off.

574
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,440
Speaker 2: Like I will admit, I can totally understand your friends

575
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 2: in respectives.

576
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:37,240
Speaker 6: There.

577
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:40,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, she said she finally understood what I went through

578
00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 2: and that it wasn't fair. I felt a bit of relief,

579
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 2: thinking to myself that it's good to finally be understood,

580
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 2: even though it was late. But then she dropped the

581
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 2: bomb and told me she was getting married and wanted

582
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 2: me to be there, considering I was there for her

583
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 2: and her partner when her whole family turned their back

584
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 2: on her because of him. It's a long story, needless

585
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 2: to say, I was immediately excited to receive this news.

586
00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 2: I immediately asked her if she needed help and what

587
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:08,160
Speaker 2: the plans were, et cetera.

588
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,280
Speaker 4: While she did need help, a lot of help.

589
00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 2: Suddenly I was responsible for a ton of things while

590
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:20,280
Speaker 2: catering to her demands. Dance rehearsals, bridle shower, decorations, her outfits,

591
00:27:20,320 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 2: et cetera. She had many plans. It was going to

592
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 2: be a big.

593
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 4: Wedding five days in duration.

594
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 2: She was not able to make one single thing happened

595
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 2: by herself, so she would end up assigning them to

596
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 2: two people, me and Julia.

597
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 5: I think it's so funny that she was like, I

598
00:27:37,119 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 5: finally understand what you were going through. A pee, here

599
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:42,359
Speaker 5: you go is my entire wedding plan.

600
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 2: I finally understand when you were so overwhelmed from having

601
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,119
Speaker 2: so much to do, and now I'm feeling that, so

602
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 2: take it.

603
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:50,919
Speaker 4: Thanks.

604
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 5: I just watched twenty seven dresses last night with my dad.

605
00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 5: Feels very on.

606
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:58,120
Speaker 2: Julia was her maid of honor and I was one

607
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,680
Speaker 2: of her five bridesmaids, but the majority of the responsibilities

608
00:28:01,680 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 2: were being assigned to just us two. It got very tiring,

609
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,400
Speaker 2: very fast, not only because it was a lot, but

610
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 2: also because it was very messy. She had no plans,

611
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,919
Speaker 2: no proper ideas. We had to think for her and

612
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:19,520
Speaker 2: execute everything while also dealing with constant changes of plans.

613
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 2: On top of that, we had to deal with her

614
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 2: taking it very much for granted while treating everyone else

615
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 2: like royalty. For example, changing the selected fabric for the

616
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:32,360
Speaker 2: bridesmaid dresses at the last minute that we had already

617
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,800
Speaker 2: decided on, just because one of the bridesmaids said she

618
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:38,840
Speaker 2: didn't like it after Julia and I had spent a

619
00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 2: lot of time to find it.

620
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 4: Julia and I organized.

621
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 2: Her whole bridal shower while she just watched, paid for

622
00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 2: part of it. Had to pay for our own dresses,

623
00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 2: five outfits in total, one for each day of the wedding.

624
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:54,480
Speaker 2: Yet she had the nerve to complain about my bridal

625
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:58,200
Speaker 2: shower gift by telling Julia that she she expected more

626
00:28:58,240 --> 00:28:58,560
Speaker 2: from me.

627
00:28:58,760 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 6: Wait, I'm sorry.

628
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 5: They had to get five different outfits.

629
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,520
Speaker 2: Five Well, so we're still not sure if this is

630
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 2: the Indian wedding or not. Too, because they would have

631
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 2: five different ceremonies they would need to have outfit.

632
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 5: But oh, wow, that's that's expensive. And then and then

633
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 5: also she's like, and oh, he didn't buy me other things.

634
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:17,640
Speaker 6: That's crazy.

635
00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:21,040
Speaker 2: Well, one of the other bridesmaids didn't give her anything.

636
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:25,120
Speaker 2: Yet she didn't say anything about that. Oh oh, I

637
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 2: should mention that the gift I bought was a part

638
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: of a list she had prepared in advance.

639
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 4: It's not like I got her something that she didn't want.

640
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 2: At this point, Julia and I were spending more time

641
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:41,400
Speaker 2: together unwillingly, but we ended up being united by the

642
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 2: frustration of being tossed.

643
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 4: Around by Leah. Julia and Leah had.

644
00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 2: Already had a lot of fights by this time, and

645
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,680
Speaker 2: they were a bit better toward each other, but Julia

646
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 2: was still there for her regardless. I was also trying

647
00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:56,400
Speaker 2: my best to be the bigger person and wait until

648
00:29:56,440 --> 00:29:59,320
Speaker 2: after the wedding to address these issues, but it was

649
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:02,440
Speaker 2: getting un bearable. I kid you not. It was so

650
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,360
Speaker 2: bad that out of the five bridesmaid she started with,

651
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:09,640
Speaker 2: only two remained, one of them being me. Julia gave

652
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,959
Speaker 2: up on being her maid of honor. Her family started

653
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,720
Speaker 2: turning their back on her because of details I'm not

654
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,760
Speaker 2: very aware of, but it was bad.

655
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 4: Because of all this.

656
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 2: I felt compelled to just be the bigger person and

657
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 2: stay for her, even though deep down I knew I

658
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 2: wasn't doing it out of love.

659
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,560
Speaker 4: I knew I was being used.

660
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,040
Speaker 6: Dude, this is just like twenty seven dresses.

661
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 2: That's what we just threw this in there because we

662
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 2: knew you was I'm like, stop, was that a guy?

663
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 5: Just watch this?

664
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 2: But for me, what really got me was when I

665
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,440
Speaker 2: couldn't attend one of the wedding days which was wasn't

666
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 2: which which wasn't really very crucial, due to being called

667
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,640
Speaker 2: from work for an urgent matter, and she had the

668
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: nerve to tell me I was doing it because I

669
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 2: wanted attention. She never said this to any of the

670
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 2: other girls that gave up on her, not once. And

671
00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:00,080
Speaker 2: I know this because she would always resort to me

672
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 2: to vent about everything that was going wrong. I had

673
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: reached my limit and I told her not to mistake

674
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:09,160
Speaker 2: my kindness for care. I was very blunt with her

675
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:11,600
Speaker 2: and told her that she was lucky I hadn't turned

676
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 2: my back on her. She kept spewing a lot of

677
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:17,680
Speaker 2: nonsense and I had to block her. I unblocked her

678
00:31:17,760 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 2: on the last day of the wedding, which I attended.

679
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,720
Speaker 2: That's wild. You've blocked them for the first four days

680
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: of your wedding. Fifth day unblocked, you show up.

681
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:31,400
Speaker 4: That is insane. You're crazy for that, Opena.

682
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 5: No, that's a pretty wild mood. It's like, I know

683
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 5: I blocked you that old time, but I'm here now.

684
00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,560
Speaker 6: Remember me, Remember me, I did all that stuff for

685
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 6: your wedding.

686
00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 4: She had to see how it turned out.

687
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 5: I had so much stuff I need to come.

688
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,880
Speaker 2: I was the only bridesmaid there, the only friend. None

689
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 2: of her family members were there to help none. It

690
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 2: was me who helped her get ready, running from one

691
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 2: place to another to get things done, making sure she

692
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 2: was pretty and on time. On that day, I had very,

693
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 2: very bad cramps, and I told her, yet she made

694
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 2: me carry heavy box of flowers alone upstairs in a

695
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:13,080
Speaker 2: heavy dress and heels. She didn't think once to ask

696
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 2: one of her male family members to help me. She

697
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 2: just wanted to get it done. Oh and on that day,

698
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:21,040
Speaker 2: she was super late because she had to get another

699
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 2: makeup artist at the last minute. She stood up the

700
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 2: original makeup artist she had. She had an appointment with

701
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 2: for three hours, to the point where the makeup artists

702
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 2: had to call her out publicly on social media. The

703
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 2: decorator was literally running away from her because she had

704
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 2: way too many demands for a very small budget and

705
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:45,479
Speaker 2: last minute arrangements. Anyways, the wedding was tense, but I

706
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:49,479
Speaker 2: managed to act civil. Eventually the other bridesmaids arrived and

707
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,560
Speaker 2: I left the scene. She was ready by then, anyway,

708
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 2: I left the wedding day early, as I had to

709
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 2: go to work the next day. I was expecting an

710
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 2: apology when she came to we senses, but all I

711
00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:03,320
Speaker 2: got was a text in a group chat where she

712
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:05,959
Speaker 2: thanked everybody for the help and apologized if she did

713
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 2: something wrong.

714
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:07,400
Speaker 6: That was it.

715
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 2: She didn't text me personally, she didn't call me, she

716
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 2: didn't come pick me up after work like she used

717
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:16,520
Speaker 2: to do when she needed me, just complete silence.

718
00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 4: I left it like that. It's been a year and.

719
00:33:20,320 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 2: I heard that she apologized to the other bridesmaids but

720
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 2: not me, And we have another update.

721
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:26,440
Speaker 4: But which to thinking.

722
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:31,920
Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, if someone's totally you know, taking advantage

723
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:34,680
Speaker 5: of all of your work and clearly doesn't really care

724
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:38,120
Speaker 5: much about you and your feelings or your needs, it

725
00:33:38,280 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 5: just we don't need them in her life. Yes, it's

726
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 5: pretty I mean, it sucks, but you know it's pretty simple. Yeah.

727
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:44,920
Speaker 2: After a while, there was a couple of things that

728
00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 2: OPI was saying and I was like, yeah, you should have.

729
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 4: Probably expected that one.

730
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's like suck. I came.

731
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 5: I blocked her for four days and then came on

732
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 5: the last day no one was there, and then she

733
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 5: expected me to do a bunch of work, like, yeah,

734
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 5: she like, the only thing I'll give her is that

735
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,000
Speaker 5: she had no one there to do anything.

736
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 6: Yeah.

737
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 2: And on the other hand, too, like, eventually, I think

738
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,400
Speaker 2: you get into that mode of like blaming the person

739
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 2: so much like when she was like, I have to

740
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:12,520
Speaker 2: carry this heavy box upstairs. She didn't ask a mail

741
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,360
Speaker 2: to do it. You could ask someone to do it.

742
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:19,120
Speaker 2: You could ask someone so but we got another updates.

743
00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 2: Julia and I are still united by the long lasting frustration,

744
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 2: and we managed to regain some of our lost friendship.

745
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,840
Speaker 2: Julia says I need to stop being naive and that

746
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,680
Speaker 2: I should have sensed something was wrong when Leah came

747
00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:34,759
Speaker 2: to me only because her wedding was near. Part of

748
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 2: me thinks she's right, but I can't say I regret

749
00:34:37,040 --> 00:34:40,719
Speaker 2: it from what I hear from others up until this day.

750
00:34:40,880 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 2: Some of her family members don't talk to her anymore either.

751
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 4: Wow, that's the end.

752
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 5: Dang man, Hey John Ogi host here, We're gonna get

753
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,839
Speaker 5: back to this episode, but a quick three minute break

754
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,720
Speaker 5: of ads from a sponsor's keeping the show alive.

755
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,479
Speaker 3: I stood up for myself to my mother in law,

756
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:57,960
Speaker 3: and it made everyone.

757
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 6: Upset, stand up for what you believe.

758
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 7: I like that.

759
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 3: This is also from our own subreddit. Ooh, so hopefully

760
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 3: you're listening to us right now. I twenty five female,

761
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,319
Speaker 3: have been with my significant other twenty eight mail for

762
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,520
Speaker 3: three years. We had our son one year ago. Ever

763
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 3: since I had my son, my mother in law has

764
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 3: been so overbearing and over opinionated, and my significant other

765
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 3: will not say anything to her.

766
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 7: Wow yay.

767
00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from user made a Mommy,

768
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,479
Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

769
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:31,319
Speaker 3: to the r slash okay storytime summ reddit, just like

770
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 3: one of our own. When my son was smaller, she

771
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:36,319
Speaker 3: would tell us we aren't holding him correctly and that

772
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 3: I shouldn't trust what his Paudoudrician is telling me because

773
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,600
Speaker 3: she had had two kids and she knows better.

774
00:35:42,719 --> 00:35:42,879
Speaker 5: Mm.

775
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,960
Speaker 3: She criticized me for getting my son vaccinated and always

776
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,359
Speaker 3: makes comments about things I'm doing or not doing. We

777
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,720
Speaker 3: only see her maybe twice a month, so I usually

778
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 3: just bite my tongue and tell her I got this

779
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 3: and walk away. But this has been happening for a

780
00:35:57,280 --> 00:35:59,920
Speaker 3: year now, and I've expressed countless times to my sickni

781
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 3: and other how this makes me feel like she thinks

782
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,520
Speaker 3: were incompetent and that I'm constantly on edge around her

783
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:08,080
Speaker 3: because I know she will say something to me at

784
00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,239
Speaker 3: some point. Yet he still hasn't had a conversation with

785
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 3: her about it. Yes, I could have said something to myself,

786
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 3: but I feel like he should be the one addressing

787
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 3: her because that is his mother. So yesterday, my mother

788
00:36:20,800 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 3: in law came over. My son was napping and she

789
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 3: was making food for my significant other, so I decided

790
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,720
Speaker 3: I would go get my nails done before I left.

791
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 7: She brought up my school.

792
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 3: I'm getting my CNA certification and I'm going back to

793
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,840
Speaker 3: be an RN. She started to go on about how

794
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 3: with the degree I'm going for, I would still be

795
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:39,839
Speaker 3: under a nurse, and that was it for me. I

796
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 3: just said, okay, I'm gonna go now. I stood up

797
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,440
Speaker 3: and went to get my shoes to go. My significant

798
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 3: other stop me to tell me how incredibly rude I

799
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:50,439
Speaker 3: was being and that it was unacceptable.

800
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:52,000
Speaker 7: I think we got a mommy's boy.

801
00:36:52,160 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 6: I think it's very possible.

802
00:36:53,600 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 3: Yeah. I told him I was tired of her criticizing

803
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,839
Speaker 3: me and that I can't take it anymore, so I'm

804
00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 3: leaving the situation, he wouldn't stop telling me how I

805
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 3: was wrong. This is where I went wrong, I think.

806
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 3: I went back inside and asked her if I was

807
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,200
Speaker 3: being rude when I decided to leave. She said no,

808
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 3: but she could tell that I was upset with something

809
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 3: she had said and that I always do that to

810
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 3: her and I need to learn to control myself and

811
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 3: something about that being how parents are.

812
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 7: My jaw dropped. I told her that.

813
00:37:21,040 --> 00:37:23,920
Speaker 3: Ever since I had my son, she's been overbearing and

814
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:27,840
Speaker 3: constantly criticizing me, and she lost it, said I was

815
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,560
Speaker 3: being disrespectful, and she stormed out and left.

816
00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:32,000
Speaker 7: This is what really hurt me.

817
00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 3: Instead of being by my side significant other and trying

818
00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 3: to step up to tell his mom that she has

819
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 3: been this way and we just need to tell her

820
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 3: to stop her opinions, my significant other screams at me

821
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,880
Speaker 3: about how he was going to handle it and that

822
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,200
Speaker 3: I made things so much worse.

823
00:37:46,480 --> 00:37:48,839
Speaker 7: I've never seen him that way, and it really broke me.

824
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 3: I told him it hurt me that he could never

825
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 3: stand up to her for us, and that he should

826
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 3: never treat me that way no matter what.

827
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 7: Eventually, he talked.

828
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,160
Speaker 3: His mom and he explained to her that she's been

829
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 3: crossing boundary and being too much with her opinions. The

830
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 3: fact that we had to get to this point for

831
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 3: a significant other to actually be like, honey, you're in

832
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 3: the wrong, and he's like, Mom, you're in the wrong. Right,

833
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:13,879
Speaker 3: wet noodle spine. I'm sorry, there's a noodle spine here.

834
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:14,360
Speaker 7: I get it.

835
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 3: It's your mom mmm. And mothers know best, but not

836
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 3: in this. Yeah, come on.

837
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:20,319
Speaker 6: Yeah, But like it's like when you get to a

838
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 6: certain age though, you start making some decisions for yourself

839
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 6: and have different opinions from your mom.

840
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:25,919
Speaker 7: Yeah.

841
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 3: No, I agree, And this is where Opie was in

842
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:30,839
Speaker 3: the right where Hey, you should have came in a

843
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 3: long time ago to tell her to stop doing that.

844
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly.

845
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,160
Speaker 3: She pulled the whole. Well, if I'm too much, then

846
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,239
Speaker 3: I just won't be involved anymore. Ah, she's the victim now,

847
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:42,240
Speaker 3: ah man. And that she's not coming to my son's

848
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 3: birthday party on Saturday. This obviously upset us because she

849
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 3: is a good grandma and my son deserves that in

850
00:38:49,520 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 3: his life. But I do not deserve the disrespect as

851
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:55,800
Speaker 3: a parent. So am I the ale for saying something?

852
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 3: And we have a side note. I texted her a

853
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 3: very lengthy apology later in the day, saying I'm sorry

854
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 3: for how things happen and stated the reasons why it

855
00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 3: boiled up to this and that we still really want

856
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:07,880
Speaker 3: her in our son's life, but she needs to respect

857
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 3: us as parents. All right, Angie, Kay, where are we at?

858
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 6: We're making some progress progress in the terms of like

859
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:17,480
Speaker 6: standing up to her.

860
00:39:17,560 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 5: I don't know if we've made progress with her reaction yet.

861
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:21,799
Speaker 3: We'll probably find out we do have an update, But

862
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 3: I mean, the cat's out of the bag now. Everything's

863
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,400
Speaker 3: been thrown on the table in the probably the worst

864
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 3: way possible because everything escalated and blew up rather than

865
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:33,360
Speaker 3: having a civil conversation. And I think that's what happens

866
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,080
Speaker 3: when this happened to Ope, and this happens all the time,

867
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,000
Speaker 3: is people just like, let it the cup fill until

868
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 3: it overflows and then it's just not a good It's

869
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 3: an ugly mess exactly. Yeah. Now I want to see

870
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 3: how the significant other plays in. You know, their role.

871
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 3: Is he going to be, you know, a good partner,

872
00:39:51,480 --> 00:39:53,560
Speaker 3: a good son? Who is he going to take side with?

873
00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 3: I don't this was the appropriate thing to do is

874
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:57,720
Speaker 3: text her and be like Hey.

875
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's good that something was said because it has

876
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 6: needed to be said for a long time.

877
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:07,359
Speaker 3: Now, Oh yes, do we think, Angie, this is going

878
00:40:07,440 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 3: to resonate? Well, do you think mother in law is

879
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 3: going to take this as like, oh, okay, let's patch this,

880
00:40:12,960 --> 00:40:14,440
Speaker 3: let's put a band aid over the booboo.

881
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:16,839
Speaker 6: We're gonna be definitely not.

882
00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:20,200
Speaker 3: Well, let's find out we have an update. A lot

883
00:40:20,239 --> 00:40:22,839
Speaker 3: of you have very strong opinions about him, which I've

884
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,280
Speaker 3: definitely taken into consideration. I will not make excuses for anyone,

885
00:40:26,440 --> 00:40:29,560
Speaker 3: but he obviously has been conditioned to this behavior his

886
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,160
Speaker 3: whole life. I don't plan to leave my significant other,

887
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:34,160
Speaker 3: but I would be lying if I said I hadn't

888
00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:36,920
Speaker 3: consider it. Okay, I stand by my boundaries, and the

889
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 3: last conversation I had, I had confidently said that he

890
00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,800
Speaker 3: stands by the same boundaries and really understands where the

891
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 3: problem lies. Finally, okay, now back to the update. After

892
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 3: the initial blow up, my significant other did not have

893
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:51,359
Speaker 3: my back and was texting mother in law pictures of

894
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 3: my son immediately after she left, just sweeping the situation

895
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,799
Speaker 3: under the rug and acting as if nothing happened. The

896
00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 3: worst thing to do great this is so nice. He

897
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,240
Speaker 3: took a side and it was Mama's side.

898
00:41:04,400 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 6: Oh but like UK is supposed to be partners in

899
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 6: this co parenting thing.

900
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:13,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, you saw everything while still not comforting me or

901
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,279
Speaker 3: helping me through the situation.

902
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:16,759
Speaker 7: We argued all night and.

903
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 3: Multiple times over the next couple of days, and finally

904
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:23,440
Speaker 3: came to the conclusion that I didn't deserve any of that,

905
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 3: and that he was going to lay down boundaries with

906
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 3: his mother and make sure she apologizes to me before

907
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 3: I see her again.

908
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,840
Speaker 7: He is the bridge. So obviously, mother in law.

909
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 3: Shows up to my son's birthday party at our home

910
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,560
Speaker 3: after saying she wasn't going to because she wasn't getting

911
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 3: her way. She walks in my kitchen and acts as

912
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 3: if I'm not even there. I immediately get my significant

913
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,400
Speaker 3: other and tell him he needs to tell her to

914
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:49,080
Speaker 3: apologize to me if she plans to stay. The apology

915
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:51,800
Speaker 3: went like this, are you ready, Angie?

916
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:54,399
Speaker 6: I'm so ready, Kean, So are you gonna be ok

917
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:55,560
Speaker 6: and I'll be the mother.

918
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 7: You'll be mother in law? Okay you start off?

919
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, okay, my son wants me to apologize.

920
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,919
Speaker 3: I'll stop you right there. Do you want to apologize.

921
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:05,680
Speaker 6: What did I even say?

922
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,240
Speaker 3: Do you really feel like nothing you've said or done

923
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:08,720
Speaker 3: is wrong?

924
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 6: I'm sorry for what I said.

925
00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 3: I'll take that for today and we can all enjoy

926
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 3: my son's birthday party in peace. But we need to

927
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:18,920
Speaker 3: have a conversation in a few days about boundaries.

928
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 6: Come on, guys, that's not a conversation we need to

929
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:24,360
Speaker 6: have now. Maybe in a couple of years.

930
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 3: No, we will have a conversation in a couple of

931
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 3: days about boundaries.

932
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:29,759
Speaker 7: Thank you.

933
00:42:30,160 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 3: The party went fine and she didn't really say or

934
00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 3: do anything. Thank goodness, too many witnesses. I guess clearly

935
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,919
Speaker 3: she has an issue with taking accountability and having healthy conversations.

936
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,840
Speaker 3: Maybe she should watch Okay Storytime good advice for anyone.

937
00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 3: And it's trickled into my significant other's life. She tried

938
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 3: to plan to come to our house to get my

939
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:49,759
Speaker 3: significant other to work on her car a couple days later,

940
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,360
Speaker 3: and I kind of blew up because they had planned

941
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:53,839
Speaker 3: to do this while I was going to be at

942
00:42:53,840 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 3: my class that day. She's avoiding you, clearly, meaning she

943
00:42:57,800 --> 00:43:00,320
Speaker 3: would be watching my son while he worked on her

944
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 3: Normally that would have been okay, but I will not

945
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 3: let them keep sweeping things under the rug and act

946
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 3: like she can come around and do whatever she pleases. Yeah,

947
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 3: I guess what, that's your boundary. Yeah, not your significant

948
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 3: other's boundary. They don't care about your boundaries right now.

949
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,040
Speaker 3: Until clear boundaries are set and she can give us

950
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:17,600
Speaker 3: some respect.

951
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,360
Speaker 7: I am not okay with her being around me or

952
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:20,879
Speaker 7: my son.

953
00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 3: We argued a bit and finally came to an agreement

954
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 3: that before she is allowed to come around our home

955
00:43:25,920 --> 00:43:28,240
Speaker 3: or my son again, we will be sitting her down

956
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,640
Speaker 3: and laying out clear boundaries, and my significant other is

957
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,840
Speaker 3: going to tell her that she cannot treat me the

958
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 3: way she has. I feel like it's like the boy

959
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,279
Speaker 3: you cried wolf kind of thing. You've told them so

960
00:43:39,360 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 3: many times and he's still doing that half asked job

961
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 3: of it.

962
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:45,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm kind of scared that, Like, even if Opie

963
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:49,440
Speaker 6: sits the mother in law and her husband down like

964
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:52,600
Speaker 6: at the same time, Like, it's not just gonna be

965
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,719
Speaker 6: her talking to the mother in law setting boundaries. She's

966
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:55,279
Speaker 6: gonna have to.

967
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,319
Speaker 3: Be like right, like right, and he's gonna be He's

968
00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,480
Speaker 3: gonna be like, yeah, mom, you want pictures of the sun.

969
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 6: Right. Like I feel like it's not going to be

970
00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 6: as successful as she wants it to be.

971
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:09,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, at this point, do we just take out the

972
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 3: significant other aka mother in law son and you just

973
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 3: have a direct conversation with the mother in law?

974
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 6: Well, I think this is probably a good way to go,

975
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 6: because he's clearly not getting it, Like he's not accepting

976
00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:20,360
Speaker 6: Ope's boundaries.

977
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, the fact that you've said it countless times or

978
00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:25,120
Speaker 3: these are my boundaries yea, and please respect them. And

979
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 3: he said, yeah, no exactly.

980
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 6: So I think that it would be good for them

981
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 6: to have a conversation in person, like not just with

982
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:31,919
Speaker 6: the mom.

983
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, and like with the.

984
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 6: Husband as well.

985
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's find out his perspective again. Opie's significant other

986
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 3: was that he felt like I was trying to cut

987
00:44:39,480 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 3: her out of our lives, which is never my intention.

988
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,920
Speaker 3: I just don't want to constantly be on edge and

989
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:49,760
Speaker 3: have someone micromanaging my parenting. Again, he's not understanding you, he's.

990
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:51,280
Speaker 6: Not listening exactly.

991
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 3: She just needs to be a grandma, not a third parent,

992
00:44:54,040 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 3: and if she has an issue with it, my son

993
00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 3: and I will not come around and she won't be

994
00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 3: allowed at our home. There's a little bit left to

995
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 3: this store I feel like we've said our piece. Yeah,

996
00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 3: I know this is one of our family members, our

997
00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:05,360
Speaker 3: community members.

998
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:07,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that.

999
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:07,560
Speaker 7: Op.

1000
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,760
Speaker 3: I feel like we've had stories like this. Your significant

1001
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 3: other is not respecting you. Your mother in law is

1002
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:16,359
Speaker 3: not respecting you. Clearly someone hears a mama's boy, and

1003
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 3: you deserve the respect you want. You are a parent.

1004
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 3: And again it's one of those things where you kind

1005
00:45:22,640 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 3: of learn through it. You can have some tips and

1006
00:45:24,400 --> 00:45:26,080
Speaker 3: tricks from mother in law.

1007
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:29,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, because honestly, like what you're asking for is not

1008
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 6: that much.

1009
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:32,279
Speaker 3: No, it's it's just saying, hey, this is my child. Yeah,

1010
00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do what I want to do with my child.

1011
00:45:34,120 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 6: Yeah. I wonder if, like if she can come at

1012
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,600
Speaker 6: a conversation with a little bit of like sympathy, even

1013
00:45:39,640 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 6: if she doesn't feel so strongly, like she doesn't sympathize

1014
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 6: too much with the significant other, Like if she can

1015
00:45:45,719 --> 00:45:48,279
Speaker 6: come to the significant other and be like, yo, how

1016
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:50,200
Speaker 6: do you actually feel about this? And I mean it

1017
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:50,920
Speaker 6: seems like she has.

1018
00:45:51,080 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1019
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 6: I wonder how these conversations go and if it's coming

1020
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 6: like very strongly, like no, this needs to happen, Like

1021
00:45:57,200 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 6: you know what I mean like kind of setting boundaries

1022
00:45:59,160 --> 00:46:01,560
Speaker 6: super strong like that. I wonder if you can come

1023
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,799
Speaker 6: from like a softer spot and be like, it's just

1024
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 6: these little comments that bother me time time again and

1025
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:07,440
Speaker 6: it's really making me anxious.

1026
00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, let's see if we have anything else in the story.

1027
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:13,360
Speaker 3: This has taken a lot out of me emotionally, and honestly,

1028
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,719
Speaker 3: I was at a breaking point. I wasn't sure if

1029
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,400
Speaker 3: my relationship was going to survive this. But I truly

1030
00:46:18,440 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 3: feel like my significant other will stick beside me and

1031
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:23,640
Speaker 3: we can fix these issues together, I hope. So It's

1032
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 3: taken a lot of my over explaining things and feel

1033
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 3: like a psycho to get through to him, which is

1034
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 3: exhausting and not fair to me, but I want things

1035
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,520
Speaker 3: to work for everyone, and I feel it's worth it.

1036
00:46:32,600 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 3: I do not have a lot of faith in my

1037
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 3: mother in law receiving these boundaries greatly, but that's beyond

1038
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,279
Speaker 3: my control and she will be the one missing out

1039
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,440
Speaker 3: if not. I may or may not have another update

1040
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:43,880
Speaker 3: after the conversation has had but for now, this is

1041
00:46:43,880 --> 00:46:46,080
Speaker 3: where I'm at and I can finally breathe a little

1042
00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 3: bit better. We had not scheduled a data sit down

1043
00:46:48,640 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 3: but it will be happening very soon.

1044
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,040
Speaker 7: Interesting dun dun, dull. But that is the end of

1045
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 7: that story.

1046
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,440
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1047
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 1: But here's three bits of ads from ours that keep

1048
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:01,240
Speaker 1: the show alive.

1049
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 6: My mother in law lied about something and it got

1050
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:05,839
Speaker 6: my husband evicted.

1051
00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 3: Liar liar, pants on fire.

1052
00:47:09,480 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 6: Two weeks ago, at two weeks postpartum, I finally confronted

1053
00:47:13,040 --> 00:47:16,320
Speaker 6: my mother in law about her self absorbed person behavior,

1054
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 6: and she still refuses to leave her world of delusion.

1055
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:22,400
Speaker 6: I twenty four female, am happily married to my wonderful

1056
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 6: husband twenty three male, who I have been with since

1057
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 6: our teenage years. Myself and his parents got along famously,

1058
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,040
Speaker 6: even for some years, being closer than they were with

1059
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 6: my husband and his brother. Nice. By the way, this

1060
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,359
Speaker 6: comes from A Street Sandwich eighty two to oh two,

1061
00:47:36,560 --> 00:47:38,360
Speaker 6: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

1062
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:40,279
Speaker 6: to the r slash Okay storytime at separread it.

1063
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:40,520
Speaker 5: So.

1064
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:44,080
Speaker 6: When husband and I first ever got together, he mentioned

1065
00:47:44,120 --> 00:47:47,399
Speaker 6: having issues with independence in his household, with examples being

1066
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 6: him being placed in excessive extracurricular activities that he had

1067
00:47:51,960 --> 00:47:54,399
Speaker 6: no interest in from a very young age. Not being

1068
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,240
Speaker 6: given keys to the home until becoming an adult, forcing

1069
00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:59,840
Speaker 6: him to work his entire life around his parents' motives,

1070
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 6: not having an open line of communication with his parents

1071
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 6: where they made authoritarian decisions about their household and family

1072
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 6: and him with no explanation or consideration, and not being

1073
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,480
Speaker 6: able to decide how his day went as an adult,

1074
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 6: or things like what foods he was going to eat?

1075
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 6: Oh wow, so they give him no independence at all? Yikes.

1076
00:48:21,640 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 6: I was raised to be the complete opposite and was

1077
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 6: living by myself from the age of seventeen. I encouraged

1078
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:30,239
Speaker 6: him to start taking on responsibilities in his home and

1079
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 6: daily life to prove himself worthy of independence, starting from

1080
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 6: doing small things like cooking his own meals, doing his

1081
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:38,880
Speaker 6: own laundry, and moving out of the room that he

1082
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 6: shared with his brother into his own room that I

1083
00:48:41,640 --> 00:48:44,520
Speaker 6: eventually helped him decorate with his own personal style to

1084
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 6: make it feel more like his, which he absolutely loved.

1085
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 6: I knew it was a red flag when his mother

1086
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:52,240
Speaker 6: was pissed that he started to do his own laundry

1087
00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,480
Speaker 6: and came up with excuses to stop him or sabotage him,

1088
00:48:55,520 --> 00:48:58,120
Speaker 6: even going as far as to stop talking to him.

1089
00:48:58,120 --> 00:49:02,040
Speaker 6: For several days, and he was literally just eighteen just

1090
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:05,239
Speaker 6: for doing his own laundry, as though it was some

1091
00:49:05,320 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 6: sort of personal attack. But I bit my tongue and

1092
00:49:08,160 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 6: wanted to see how it played out. Years flew by,

1093
00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,920
Speaker 6: and in twenty twenty two, my husband then boyfriend, and

1094
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,920
Speaker 6: I decided to move in together to the flat that

1095
00:49:15,960 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 6: I was living in where I rented a room off

1096
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:20,920
Speaker 6: of his dad and his dad owned the property. We

1097
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:23,480
Speaker 6: had a discussion with his parents and explained that we

1098
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:25,520
Speaker 6: would want to rent the whole flat in the hopes

1099
00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,320
Speaker 6: that we would get married after that and start our family,

1100
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 6: and it was perfect because it was just a four

1101
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:32,879
Speaker 6: minute walk from their family home, so we could all

1102
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 6: stay close to each other. We also agreed that we

1103
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:38,280
Speaker 6: would spend our own money referbing the flat and fully

1104
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 6: fitting a new bathroom, as it was in need of

1105
00:49:41,080 --> 00:49:44,280
Speaker 6: a facelift, and ultimately it added value to the property

1106
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:47,040
Speaker 6: that his father would benefit from. We even added that

1107
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 6: we would more than likely buy the flat off of

1108
00:49:49,560 --> 00:49:52,000
Speaker 6: his father later down the line, so it would benefit

1109
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 6: us too. Side note, my father would never ever make

1110
00:49:55,040 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 6: me buy a property from him, and would just gifted

1111
00:49:57,600 --> 00:49:59,520
Speaker 6: to me just to put me and my family at

1112
00:49:59,560 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 6: the best place in life possible, but I guess our

1113
00:50:01,719 --> 00:50:02,600
Speaker 6: families are different.

1114
00:50:02,800 --> 00:50:03,200
Speaker 5: Anyway.

1115
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 6: We had an agreement with his parents and they were

1116
00:50:05,680 --> 00:50:07,520
Speaker 6: cool with it, so we started to work in the

1117
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:10,560
Speaker 6: flat and actually stripped the bathroom ourselves, did some of

1118
00:50:10,600 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 6: the plumbing ourselves, and then got a contractor to fit

1119
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:17,600
Speaker 6: the new bathroom. Issues genuine not fabricated by the contractor

1120
00:50:17,719 --> 00:50:22,080
Speaker 6: were found along the way, such as insufficient pipework, outdated insulation,

1121
00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 6: et cetera. And the works for the bathroom, as well

1122
00:50:25,520 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 6: as the materials for the referb and painting of the flat,

1123
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:30,880
Speaker 6: which we did ourselves too. It all came to just

1124
00:50:31,040 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 6: shy of fourteen thousand pounds. This was fine with us,

1125
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 6: as this was meant to be our first family home

1126
00:50:36,880 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 6: and we used our savings as planned. Keep in mind

1127
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:41,719
Speaker 6: we are twenty one years old at this time, so

1128
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 6: fourteen k might not be a lot to some, but

1129
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:47,439
Speaker 6: to us it was our life savings from our entry

1130
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 6: level jobs at the time, so it was a huge deal. Haha.

1131
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,480
Speaker 6: Silly us looking back, but we have learned.

1132
00:50:53,640 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 3: Anyway.

1133
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:56,600
Speaker 6: I must backtrack here to get to the crux of

1134
00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:59,120
Speaker 6: this story. During the construction of the bathroom, My father

1135
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 6: in law had to go up broad for a family

1136
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 6: matter and asked us to stay in his house to

1137
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:05,520
Speaker 6: look after my mother in law as she does not

1138
00:51:05,719 --> 00:51:08,880
Speaker 6: do well on her own, understandable as their house was

1139
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:09,880
Speaker 6: robbed in the past.

1140
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:10,839
Speaker 7: Oh wow, oh boy.

1141
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 6: We agreed to stay as our relationship with her was

1142
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 6: still great at this time, and the hot water in

1143
00:51:15,360 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 6: the flow was on and off intermittently due to the

1144
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:20,759
Speaker 6: ongoing works, so it was a win win. During our

1145
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 6: stay at their house, I heard my mother in law

1146
00:51:22,680 --> 00:51:24,560
Speaker 6: one night have an argument with my father in law

1147
00:51:24,600 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 6: over the phone and she was left in a mood.

1148
00:51:27,520 --> 00:51:30,120
Speaker 6: She then woke up the next morning I could hear

1149
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 6: because my husband's room was right next to hers at

1150
00:51:32,440 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 6: about five am. It's normal for her, she's an early bird,

1151
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:38,800
Speaker 6: and she just sat in silence, which is not normal.

1152
00:51:38,920 --> 00:51:41,480
Speaker 6: My husband then came back from the gym about six

1153
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:44,560
Speaker 6: fifteen and jumped into the shower to get ready for

1154
00:51:44,560 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 6: work like absolutely clockwork, because he's a machine and does

1155
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:50,360
Speaker 6: this every single day, so his mom knew that this

1156
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:53,719
Speaker 6: would happen. Whilst he was showering, she banged on the

1157
00:51:53,719 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 6: bathroom door and demanded to use the toilet. He then

1158
00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 6: replied saying he would be just five minutes as he

1159
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:03,200
Speaker 6: was just finishing up, and she replied, the world doesn't

1160
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 6: revolve around you, and you're so selfish and disrespectful, which

1161
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:10,000
Speaker 6: is normal for her when she's in a bad mood tbh.

1162
00:52:10,040 --> 00:52:13,280
Speaker 6: She then stormed back to her room. My husband shrugged

1163
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:15,920
Speaker 6: it off and then ran back to our room as

1164
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,360
Speaker 6: he forgot his underwear, And as he went to go

1165
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 6: back to the bathroom to finish off getting ready for work,

1166
00:52:21,000 --> 00:52:22,960
Speaker 6: his mom ran in front of him and locked the door,

1167
00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 6: causing a scene and making him late for work on purpose.

1168
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 6: There was an epping toilet downstairs and she could have

1169
00:52:29,200 --> 00:52:32,439
Speaker 6: gone before he came home, And whilst he was home

1170
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:36,040
Speaker 6: she was taking out her marital problems on him because

1171
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 6: if she's miserable, everyone has to be miserable.

1172
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, exhausting.

1173
00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:43,440
Speaker 6: It's like dealing with a literal child.

1174
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:47,080
Speaker 3: Yeah. I say, if there was another bathroom, just go.

1175
00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:48,319
Speaker 3: If you gotta go, you gotta go.

1176
00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 6: But yeah, because if you really had to go that bad,

1177
00:52:50,760 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 6: you would have found a different bathroom. You've got more options.

1178
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, so weird, it's so weird.

1179
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:57,320
Speaker 3: Why would you mom?

1180
00:52:57,600 --> 00:53:00,560
Speaker 7: Don't do that I like that toilet better.

1181
00:53:00,640 --> 00:53:02,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, I just really liked the toy that you were using.

1182
00:53:02,800 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 3: That's my porcelain throne exactly.

1183
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,440
Speaker 6: The world doesn't revolve around you, but it does around me.

1184
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:12,279
Speaker 6: So anyway, that day, Hoby left for work and didn't

1185
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 6: say goodbye to her. Why would he? I stayed in

1186
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 6: his room that entire day because I did not want

1187
00:53:17,719 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 6: to be in the line of fire, and I come

1188
00:53:19,560 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 6: from a childhood of physical and get anxious around shouting.

1189
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 6: Makes sense. The next day came and she was still

1190
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 6: visibly pissed, and my husband left for work and didn't

1191
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:31,560
Speaker 6: say good morning to her before he left. I did

1192
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:34,320
Speaker 6: the exact same, because in my eyes, if someone is pissed,

1193
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,400
Speaker 6: you give them space. When we got back to the

1194
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:39,399
Speaker 6: house that day, she was still in a bad mood

1195
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 6: and was slamming copboards, throwing my husband's clothes down the stairs,

1196
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:45,120
Speaker 6: and throwing his shoes down the hallway.

1197
00:53:45,400 --> 00:53:47,880
Speaker 3: What little toxic baby.

1198
00:53:47,760 --> 00:53:51,000
Speaker 6: Baby tantrum. That's what's happening, baby tantrum.

1199
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:53,479
Speaker 3: It's the I need the attention, like something wrong. No

1200
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:55,359
Speaker 3: slams doors.

1201
00:53:55,680 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh. One more day went by and the

1202
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:01,479
Speaker 6: exact same thing happened. She texted me that day, saying

1203
00:54:01,520 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 6: things like I expected more loyalty from you. I opened

1204
00:54:04,239 --> 00:54:06,759
Speaker 6: my home to you, and you have disrespected me. I

1205
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 6: have to ask you to leave my home as you

1206
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:09,760
Speaker 6: are no longer welcome.

1207
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:10,919
Speaker 4: What did she do?

1208
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:13,920
Speaker 6: This is mad because the father in law was getting

1209
00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:14,879
Speaker 6: mad at the mother in law.

1210
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:17,799
Speaker 3: Yes's definitely something like that. But it's definitely one of

1211
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 3: those things where if mother in law does not get

1212
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:24,600
Speaker 3: her way in any shape, way or form. Yeah, everything

1213
00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:28,200
Speaker 3: is just goes toxic. Gosh, everything goes red.

1214
00:54:28,480 --> 00:54:31,359
Speaker 6: Oh, my gosh. I was surprised and sent her a

1215
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 6: reply apologizing for coming across that way and explained my

1216
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:37,239
Speaker 6: anxiety and said that I respect her decision and would

1217
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:40,040
Speaker 6: remove my belongings upon my return in a few days,

1218
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:42,760
Speaker 6: even thanking her for the opportunity to stay in their home.

1219
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,840
Speaker 6: You are so nice, opie. That day, I was already

1220
00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 6: said to stay at my dad's house for a few

1221
00:54:47,680 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 6: days to get away from my mother in law's energy

1222
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:52,840
Speaker 6: and to just spend time with my dad. She then said,

1223
00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:55,800
Speaker 6: you should have just explained this to me, and please

1224
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,719
Speaker 6: ignore what I said. Can we just move forward and

1225
00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:01,360
Speaker 6: forget what I said? Girl? No? Oh, because you said

1226
00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 6: such a crazy thing. You can't just move forward from that.

1227
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 7: Again, they don't take any accountability.

1228
00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's so unpredictable, I replied, saying of course, and

1229
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:13,600
Speaker 6: that I have no issue at all. So I'm saying

1230
00:55:13,600 --> 00:55:15,520
Speaker 6: at my dad's house for the next two days as

1231
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:18,760
Speaker 6: pre arranged, and my husband ends up joining me because

1232
00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:20,360
Speaker 6: he does not want to be in the house with

1233
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,759
Speaker 6: his mom and she's still mad at him for not

1234
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:26,240
Speaker 6: saying good morning. Out of the blue, my husband receives

1235
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 6: a text from his dad, who is abroad, saying that

1236
00:55:28,560 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 6: he has to apologize to his mother show respect by

1237
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 6: saying good morning, otherwise he has to move out of

1238
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,800
Speaker 6: their family home. My husband is on his last straw

1239
00:55:36,840 --> 00:55:39,319
Speaker 6: by this point, both with his mom and with the

1240
00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:42,319
Speaker 6: disappointment in his father's inability to even ask for his

1241
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 6: side of the story. He has spent his whole life

1242
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:47,240
Speaker 6: apologizing to his mother for things that he hasn't even done,

1243
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,920
Speaker 6: even apologizing for things that his father has done, like

1244
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 6: breaking a vase when his dad has made him take

1245
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,840
Speaker 6: the blame to avoid being bullied by his wife. Wow's

1246
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:57,280
Speaker 6: you're gonna make your kid be bullied?

1247
00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,840
Speaker 3: Then I feel bad for a peace partner.

1248
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:01,440
Speaker 7: Real definitely.

1249
00:56:01,920 --> 00:56:03,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, the traumatized childhood.

1250
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:07,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, holy crap. So he decided to not apologize and

1251
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 6: try to explain his perspective to his dad and said

1252
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,400
Speaker 6: that he would move out of their house out of

1253
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 6: respect for their rules for lack of a better term,

1254
00:56:15,360 --> 00:56:18,520
Speaker 6: when it's really just blackmail from a flying monkey doing

1255
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:21,640
Speaker 6: his mother's bidding. So we go back to their house

1256
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:24,440
Speaker 6: after our stay of my dad's and remove my stuff

1257
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 6: and just enough clothes for my husband for the next

1258
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:28,960
Speaker 6: couple of weeks until the flat was done and he

1259
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 6: could fullly move his things out of their house and

1260
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:34,359
Speaker 6: into our new would be home. His dad lands back

1261
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:36,560
Speaker 6: in the country the next day, and Hubby receives a

1262
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:39,279
Speaker 6: new text from his dad saying that unless he apologizes

1263
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 6: to his mom, he is not permitted to live in

1264
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:44,840
Speaker 6: that flat. Why aren't they moving anyway?

1265
00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 3: Why?

1266
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:45,640
Speaker 5: Yeah?

1267
00:56:45,640 --> 00:56:45,879
Speaker 3: Wait?

1268
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:46,239
Speaker 7: What?

1269
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:47,080
Speaker 5: Oh?

1270
00:56:47,480 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 6: Oh wait? Yeah, because the flat that Opie and her

1271
00:56:51,080 --> 00:56:55,279
Speaker 6: partner are living in was least from the dad. Yeah.

1272
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,040
Speaker 6: Oh god, okay, yeah, they paid for it though too,

1273
00:56:58,239 --> 00:56:59,200
Speaker 6: so yeah.

1274
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,480
Speaker 3: No, it's one of those things like they'll hold anything

1275
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 3: over your head, like even just like the smallest thing

1276
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:08,040
Speaker 3: for Opie's husband, they'll hold over his head. Yeah, and

1277
00:57:08,239 --> 00:57:09,600
Speaker 3: just to try to get just to have like a

1278
00:57:09,600 --> 00:57:12,479
Speaker 3: little leash on him would exactly the worse.

1279
00:57:12,719 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh. We were absolutely shocked, mortified. Even we

1280
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 6: knew regardless we would be fine, as we are quite

1281
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 6: the resilient pair, but shocked at how this escalated and

1282
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:26,600
Speaker 6: how his dad could go back on his agreement to

1283
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:29,080
Speaker 6: let us rent the flat, knowing that we spent our

1284
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 6: savings on trying to build a life for ourselves. So

1285
00:57:32,160 --> 00:57:34,880
Speaker 6: days go by, my husband trying to have a conversation

1286
00:57:34,960 --> 00:57:38,280
Speaker 6: with his parents, both via text and in person. In person,

1287
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 6: they didn't look him in the eye and actually turned

1288
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,680
Speaker 6: their backs towards him and refused to look at him

1289
00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 6: unless he said good morning to his mother. He still

1290
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 6: said it to his dad, but his dad was a

1291
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 6: flying monkey and was being used as a pawn, so

1292
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:53,400
Speaker 6: he didn't turn around because mother in law wasn't greeted

1293
00:57:53,440 --> 00:57:55,520
Speaker 6: with a good morning. So we were left with the

1294
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:59,520
Speaker 6: decision Hubby to cave and say good morning, apologize, and

1295
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 6: live the rest of his life under their thumb, never

1296
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:04,440
Speaker 6: feeling like we would be safe living in a flat

1297
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 6: that his dad owned, knowing that we could be punted

1298
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 6: out on a whim. We could say goodbye to the

1299
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:12,080
Speaker 6: flat and the possibility of our family home and have

1300
00:58:12,280 --> 00:58:14,920
Speaker 6: our integrity and peace of mind renting from someone we

1301
00:58:14,960 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 6: didn't know through an agency. We chose opten.

1302
00:58:17,640 --> 00:58:20,960
Speaker 3: Too, thank goodness, sorry, thank you goodness.

1303
00:58:20,640 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 6: Hoping that things would settle over time with his parents

1304
00:58:23,400 --> 00:58:26,040
Speaker 6: and that they could have a better relationship without the

1305
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:30,080
Speaker 6: power dynamic over his head, a relationship based on mutual respect.

1306
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:33,600
Speaker 6: How silly of us, so we moved out aka we're

1307
00:58:33,680 --> 00:58:36,160
Speaker 6: homeless for a month as we didn't have enough money

1308
00:58:36,160 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 6: for a deposit for a new flat and first month's

1309
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:41,960
Speaker 6: rent sofa served until the next paycheck, when we immediately

1310
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:45,120
Speaker 6: moved into a new apartment that we could barely afford,

1311
00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 6: but it was one of the only ones available at

1312
00:58:47,680 --> 00:58:50,160
Speaker 6: the time. During this process, I sent his father an

1313
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:53,240
Speaker 6: email confirming that he breached our agreement and provided a

1314
00:58:53,280 --> 00:58:56,800
Speaker 6: detailed breakdown of expenditure on the flat with receipts, and

1315
00:58:56,920 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 6: asked for either a full reimbursement, a partial reimbursement, or

1316
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,800
Speaker 6: a payment plan that suited him, or an opportunity to

1317
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 6: discuss the matter and come to a solution that suited us,

1318
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:10,080
Speaker 6: both to prevent putting him under unnecessary financial strain. His

1319
00:59:10,200 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 6: dad replied, saying he has no intention of paying anything

1320
00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 6: as he didn't ask us to spend any money. I replied,

1321
00:59:16,800 --> 00:59:19,040
Speaker 6: explaining that we only spent money on the premise of

1322
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,760
Speaker 6: our agreement to move in. It was a whole load

1323
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 6: of back and forth. My background is in the property industry,

1324
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:27,560
Speaker 6: by the way, and I had a legal card up

1325
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 6: my sleeve, as my father in law breached several health

1326
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:32,880
Speaker 6: and safety laws whilst renting out that flat and I

1327
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:35,720
Speaker 6: knew I could have easily taken him to court, and

1328
00:59:35,840 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 6: one using an RRO, which is a rent repayment order

1329
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,800
Speaker 6: in the UK, which means that I could receive every

1330
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:46,120
Speaker 6: penny of rent that I paid for the duration I

1331
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 6: lived there, and so could my housemates. This amount would

1332
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:53,560
Speaker 6: have come to thirty two thousand pounds, which is over

1333
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 6: double the amount that we spent on the flat. Wow.

1334
00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:56,840
Speaker 7: I would have done it.

1335
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:59,280
Speaker 3: Wow, I would have done it, especially since why would

1336
00:59:59,280 --> 01:00:01,360
Speaker 3: have given the warning like, hey, yeah, we have some

1337
01:00:01,520 --> 01:00:04,439
Speaker 3: legal things and I'm in the industry. If you don't

1338
01:00:04,480 --> 01:00:06,040
Speaker 3: follow this, I'm just gonna do it.

1339
01:00:06,120 --> 01:00:09,440
Speaker 6: Cru dude, Yeah, yeah, I don't get why it's double

1340
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:11,680
Speaker 6: the amount that we spent on the flat. I thought

1341
01:00:11,720 --> 01:00:15,040
Speaker 6: it said like, we receive every penny of rent that

1342
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 6: I paid, but then it's double. But maybe I don't know.

1343
01:00:18,800 --> 01:00:19,160
Speaker 7: I don't know.

1344
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:21,960
Speaker 6: We'll move on. Yeah, Hobby and I lamented over this,

1345
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,440
Speaker 6: but after weeks of thinking, we decided to let the

1346
01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 6: money go and not pursue legal action.

1347
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 3: Oh why to charge.

1348
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:31,760
Speaker 6: The lesson to life experience and lay our heads down

1349
01:00:31,800 --> 01:00:34,320
Speaker 6: at night knowing that we have been far better humans

1350
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:37,080
Speaker 6: than his parents in this situation. To this day, they

1351
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:40,160
Speaker 6: don't even know the favor we did them anyway. Over

1352
01:00:40,200 --> 01:00:42,920
Speaker 6: the next couple of months, it was hard man. It

1353
01:00:42,960 --> 01:00:45,760
Speaker 6: was Hubby's first time living outside of his childhood home,

1354
01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:49,200
Speaker 6: paying bills, splitting chores with the significant other, and just

1355
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:52,760
Speaker 6: generally feeling the weight of real life responsibility as an adult.

1356
01:00:52,840 --> 01:00:56,080
Speaker 6: We moved to an area of London completely foreign to him,

1357
01:00:56,200 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 6: where there were barely any people who looked like him

1358
01:00:59,000 --> 01:01:01,840
Speaker 6: and far from his friends, Stripped of his culture, He's

1359
01:01:01,880 --> 01:01:05,080
Speaker 6: also now lost his perception of his great parents, and

1360
01:01:05,200 --> 01:01:08,200
Speaker 6: his brother, who was his best friend, hasn't spoken to him.

1361
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:11,360
Speaker 6: Because of everything. He still lives in the family home. Mentally,

1362
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:13,640
Speaker 6: I was okay, as I've been through things in the

1363
01:01:13,640 --> 01:01:16,320
Speaker 6: past growing up, and I've lived alone for a long time,

1364
01:01:16,400 --> 01:01:19,880
Speaker 6: so I had fortitude in that regard. But husband ticket

1365
01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:22,840
Speaker 6: hard and we struggled in our relationship and honestly very

1366
01:01:22,880 --> 01:01:26,560
Speaker 6: nearly separated because of the financial stress. But it made

1367
01:01:26,640 --> 01:01:29,320
Speaker 6: us so much stronger. And now fast forward to twenty

1368
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:32,080
Speaker 6: twenty five, we are happily married and have a newborn

1369
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 6: and are so immensely happy in love, grateful and appreciative

1370
01:01:36,640 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 6: of our strength and support for one another. Truly best

1371
01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:42,680
Speaker 6: friends and our biggest allies in life.

1372
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:44,880
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, so exciting.

1373
01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:48,320
Speaker 6: Between us moving out in twenty twenty two to today.

1374
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:51,000
Speaker 6: It went from his parents messaging him in the early

1375
01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:53,479
Speaker 6: days saying that their house will always be his home

1376
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:56,840
Speaker 6: and sending messages like happy Sunday, how about your day.

1377
01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 6: I just had surgery. You need to move on. I

1378
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 6: don't even remember what happened as I was on medication

1379
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,360
Speaker 6: back then, et cetera, et cetera. He started out so

1380
01:02:04,440 --> 01:02:07,040
Speaker 6: strong with those to my husband blocking them because he

1381
01:02:07,080 --> 01:02:10,080
Speaker 6: became infuriated by the lack of apology for what they

1382
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:13,280
Speaker 6: put him through and how they acted so carelessly and

1383
01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,680
Speaker 6: were trying to talk to him as though nothing happened

1384
01:02:15,840 --> 01:02:18,360
Speaker 6: to his mom trying to send him money whilst being

1385
01:02:18,400 --> 01:02:22,000
Speaker 6: blocked with no context. He sent the money back immediately

1386
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:24,960
Speaker 6: and told his dad, I'm sending this back because I

1387
01:02:25,000 --> 01:02:27,600
Speaker 6: don't know what it's for, alluding to the fact that

1388
01:02:27,640 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 6: if it's not an apology or an acknowledgment of wrongdoing,

1389
01:02:31,080 --> 01:02:33,600
Speaker 6: he doesn't want it because it's just a payoff. It

1390
01:02:33,640 --> 01:02:37,080
Speaker 6: was five hundred pounds, which I'm sorry is something laughable

1391
01:02:37,160 --> 01:02:39,960
Speaker 6: in the face of fourteen k In late twenty twenty four,

1392
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:42,360
Speaker 6: he started to rebuild a relationship with his dad, with

1393
01:02:42,400 --> 01:02:44,840
Speaker 6: the idea that his mother was a sole issue so

1394
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:47,479
Speaker 6: he could tolerate his dad. They slowly started to speak

1395
01:02:47,520 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 6: about what transpired, and Hovey explained that he was disappointed

1396
01:02:50,800 --> 01:02:53,120
Speaker 6: in his father as a man and last some respect

1397
01:02:53,160 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 6: for him due to how poorly he managed the situation,

1398
01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 6: and reminded him that despite him being his wife's husband,

1399
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:02,120
Speaker 6: he's also his father and owes it to his children

1400
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 6: to be impartial. We believe the mother has emotional blackmail

1401
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:07,920
Speaker 6: against the father as they had issues in the past,

1402
01:03:08,080 --> 01:03:11,200
Speaker 6: but I digress. Have a backbone. Hubby asked his dad

1403
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:13,680
Speaker 6: if he knew what happened the day of the bathroom incident,

1404
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:15,920
Speaker 6: and his dad said, your mom told me that she

1405
01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,120
Speaker 6: was in the bathroom and that she left for a moment,

1406
01:03:18,400 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 6: and you ran in and when she tried to get

1407
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:24,000
Speaker 6: back in, you slammed the door in her face. Ah

1408
01:03:24,040 --> 01:03:26,200
Speaker 6: what that is not at all what happened.

1409
01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:29,960
Speaker 3: She'd have been asked way way earlier. But yeah, whatever,

1410
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 3: it long ago.

1411
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:35,840
Speaker 6: When I tell you, our jaws fink dropped to the

1412
01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:38,320
Speaker 6: ground when we heard his dad say this over the phone.

1413
01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:41,560
Speaker 6: Hubby told his dad what actually happened and convinced his

1414
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:44,240
Speaker 6: dad to question his mom about the story. Hubby followed

1415
01:03:44,320 --> 01:03:46,680
Speaker 6: up next week and asked his dad how it went.

1416
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:49,080
Speaker 6: His dad told him that after he questioned his mom,

1417
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 6: his mom didn't speak to him for three whole days,

1418
01:03:51,520 --> 01:03:54,320
Speaker 6: but that you should still show your mom respect or

1419
01:03:54,360 --> 01:03:56,800
Speaker 6: your mom's your mom. You know what she's like. The

1420
01:03:56,840 --> 01:04:00,880
Speaker 6: good alweighs the bad. We came to the conclusion that

1421
01:04:00,960 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 6: his dad was just a victim turned enabler, telling himself

1422
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:06,840
Speaker 6: the same stuff to help himself feel better. Anyway, howby

1423
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:08,760
Speaker 6: you went to their family home a week later to

1424
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:10,640
Speaker 6: hold a family meeting in the hopes that they could

1425
01:04:10,720 --> 01:04:13,200
Speaker 6: move forward as a family. On a better note, he

1426
01:04:13,280 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 6: asked them not to speak at first, and to listen

1427
01:04:15,560 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 6: to him say the story from start to finish of

1428
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:20,000
Speaker 6: what happened on the day of the incident, all the

1429
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:24,120
Speaker 6: way to the aftermath, including the fact that him, his dad,

1430
01:04:24,200 --> 01:04:27,200
Speaker 6: and his brother now knew that his mother lied and

1431
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:30,600
Speaker 6: manipulated everyone to make herself seem like the victim. When

1432
01:04:30,600 --> 01:04:32,880
Speaker 6: my husband looked her in the eyes and asked her

1433
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 6: why she lied, she sat there in silence, huffing and puffing,

1434
01:04:37,640 --> 01:04:40,880
Speaker 6: visibly outraged at the idea that her son, who should

1435
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:45,080
Speaker 6: owe the world moon and the stars, would dare confront her,

1436
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:50,040
Speaker 6: especially in front of others. Classic self absorbed person. The

1437
01:04:50,120 --> 01:04:53,160
Speaker 6: outcome of that meeting was nothing. They still didn't apologize

1438
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:55,800
Speaker 6: to my husband, and his mother still didn't take accountability

1439
01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:58,720
Speaker 6: for her actions. He left the meeting saying, I need

1440
01:04:58,760 --> 01:05:00,640
Speaker 6: you to think about what kind of reallyationship you want

1441
01:05:00,720 --> 01:05:02,480
Speaker 6: with me and my wife and my soon to be

1442
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:04,920
Speaker 6: born son, and what you need to do to achieve that.

1443
01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 6: But you need to change your behavior to get what

1444
01:05:07,760 --> 01:05:10,320
Speaker 6: you want. Think about it and let me know. Now

1445
01:05:10,320 --> 01:05:12,640
Speaker 6: we get to early twenty twenty five, where I'm about

1446
01:05:12,680 --> 01:05:15,680
Speaker 6: six months pregnant, and my husband calls his dad to

1447
01:05:15,720 --> 01:05:18,560
Speaker 6: follow up on what was decided on what relationship they

1448
01:05:18,600 --> 01:05:20,880
Speaker 6: wanted with him. His dad said that he of course

1449
01:05:21,000 --> 01:05:22,840
Speaker 6: wants things to go back as the way they were,

1450
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:25,919
Speaker 6: and my husband reiterated that they will never be the same,

1451
01:05:26,000 --> 01:05:28,240
Speaker 6: but whether it's worse or gets better is down to

1452
01:05:28,240 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 6: whether they can change the behavior and take ownership. He

1453
01:05:30,960 --> 01:05:33,640
Speaker 6: reminded his dad that we rode off the fourteen K

1454
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:36,280
Speaker 6: and only asked for an apology for the hurt and

1455
01:05:36,400 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 6: damage that they caused and the years that they send

1456
01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:42,440
Speaker 6: him back. His dad very callously stated something I personally

1457
01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:45,440
Speaker 6: knew he felt deep down all these years, something I

1458
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:47,920
Speaker 6: think my husband knew his dad fell too, but didn't

1459
01:05:47,920 --> 01:05:50,760
Speaker 6: want to accept. His dad said, I've got nothing to

1460
01:05:50,800 --> 01:05:51,600
Speaker 6: feel sorry for.

1461
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:53,040
Speaker 3: Yikes.

1462
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:53,520
Speaker 5: Boom.

1463
01:05:53,840 --> 01:05:56,280
Speaker 6: My husband's eyes a glaze over in what seemed like

1464
01:05:56,280 --> 01:05:59,880
Speaker 6: both disbelief and acceptance, In almost relief and closure, his

1465
01:06:00,160 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 6: dad continued in the background of our calm, almost berating

1466
01:06:03,480 --> 01:06:05,680
Speaker 6: his son, saying things like I'd never be in your

1467
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:09,960
Speaker 6: position because I planned financially. I have no words. Fast

1468
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:12,320
Speaker 6: forward to five weeks ago where I gave birth, which

1469
01:06:12,360 --> 01:06:14,760
Speaker 6: they knew because their other sons still lives at their

1470
01:06:14,760 --> 01:06:17,000
Speaker 6: house and talks to us. The mother also follows me

1471
01:06:17,040 --> 01:06:19,840
Speaker 6: on Instagram, which I actually didn't know until last week

1472
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:22,640
Speaker 6: and saw my stories of my newborn. Hubby's brother and

1473
01:06:22,680 --> 01:06:25,880
Speaker 6: my overly goodwill parents encouraged Hubby and me to let

1474
01:06:25,880 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 6: his parents know personally about our new arrival, after which

1475
01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:32,560
Speaker 6: his parents congratulated him and eventually asked to meet our son.

1476
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:35,080
Speaker 6: There is a little bit more to the story, but ah,

1477
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:36,520
Speaker 6: what a disappointing story.

1478
01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:43,000
Speaker 3: So yes, very disappointing, but also uplifting for Op's significant other,

1479
01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:47,720
Speaker 3: He's learned, I guess they both have, but especially him,

1480
01:06:47,920 --> 01:06:50,280
Speaker 3: he's learned the hard way. He flew from the nest

1481
01:06:50,400 --> 01:06:54,200
Speaker 3: and spread his wings and actually experienced life. The you know,

1482
01:06:54,520 --> 01:06:58,800
Speaker 3: started off negatively stressful, almost broke up. But you have

1483
01:06:58,880 --> 01:07:01,320
Speaker 3: to have the lows to really enjoy the highs. So

1484
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:04,280
Speaker 3: he's enjoying life. He has a family. Now you hope

1485
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:07,720
Speaker 3: he has a family. It's crazy, and I guess his

1486
01:07:07,760 --> 01:07:11,680
Speaker 3: family sucks. Yeah, that's strenuous exactly.

1487
01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:15,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, that acceptance, I mean, like she said, like is

1488
01:07:15,560 --> 01:07:17,640
Speaker 6: a bit of a relief in a way. It sucks,

1489
01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:19,840
Speaker 6: but it is the reality that you got going.

1490
01:07:19,720 --> 01:07:22,160
Speaker 3: On, and I can see that he's trying to give

1491
01:07:22,200 --> 01:07:25,720
Speaker 3: them chance and chance and chance over and over again. Yeah,

1492
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:28,200
Speaker 3: but it's not happening. It's not working, especially for the

1493
01:07:28,240 --> 01:07:31,480
Speaker 3: mother in law. She's a real piece of work.

1494
01:07:31,600 --> 01:07:31,840
Speaker 7: Wow.

1495
01:07:31,880 --> 01:07:34,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, there is a little bit more. His

1496
01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:37,240
Speaker 6: mom also DMed me separately, saying how much she loved

1497
01:07:37,320 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 6: us and was so happy and asked me not to

1498
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:42,520
Speaker 6: block her. I replied with a tough love response, calling

1499
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:46,160
Speaker 6: out her behavior of manipulation, deceit, and lies, saying that

1500
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:48,520
Speaker 6: I refuse to have a relationship with her or her

1501
01:07:48,600 --> 01:07:52,320
Speaker 6: husband until my husband receives a well overdue apology, and

1502
01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:54,120
Speaker 6: said that I didn't want to have to be firm,

1503
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:56,840
Speaker 6: but years of her family being so scared of her

1504
01:07:56,920 --> 01:08:00,520
Speaker 6: and walking on eggshells didn't get them anywhere. To say

1505
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:04,400
Speaker 6: it felt fantastic. Last week, she employed another flying monkey

1506
01:08:04,440 --> 01:08:07,520
Speaker 6: who messaged my husband congratulating him on his new baby,

1507
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:10,440
Speaker 6: saying how lucky he is to have such amazing parents

1508
01:08:10,440 --> 01:08:15,760
Speaker 6: to guide and support him. Palomeoh, it's getting desperate. All

1509
01:08:15,800 --> 01:08:19,040
Speaker 6: they have to do is apologize. Oh my gosh, Wait,

1510
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:21,120
Speaker 6: I don't understand that it's just another person.

1511
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:23,920
Speaker 3: It's another person. Yeah, so I guess the parents maybe

1512
01:08:23,920 --> 01:08:25,360
Speaker 3: got like a cousin or like a friend.

1513
01:08:25,640 --> 01:08:28,519
Speaker 6: Yeah, oh, like like to try to get info about

1514
01:08:28,520 --> 01:08:29,400
Speaker 6: the new baby.

1515
01:08:29,280 --> 01:08:31,760
Speaker 3: Trying to get info or like you know, kind of

1516
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:34,120
Speaker 3: put the salt on the wound of like, oh, your

1517
01:08:34,160 --> 01:08:37,040
Speaker 3: parents must have raised you so well. Oh.

1518
01:08:37,240 --> 01:08:40,160
Speaker 6: I was thinking that they were saying, like, I'm so

1519
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:42,360
Speaker 6: happy that your new son has great parents.

1520
01:08:42,400 --> 01:08:45,240
Speaker 3: No, oh my god, it's the mother in law.

1521
01:08:46,600 --> 01:08:48,960
Speaker 6: It's like great. Actually, I don't think you'd be saying

1522
01:08:48,960 --> 01:08:51,160
Speaker 6: that after you found out what they do to me.

1523
01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:52,200
Speaker 7: Thank you.

1524
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 6: Yeah, oh my gosh. But that's the best story.

1525
01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:56,120
Speaker 7: That's it.

1526
01:08:56,439 --> 01:08:57,400
Speaker 6: That sucks, man,