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Speaker 1: Today on Wide Open, I'm sitting down with two women

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Speaker 1: who've grown up, evolved, and loved in the public eye,

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Speaker 1: and have somehow managed to keep what matters most to

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Speaker 1: them just for themselves. Raven Simone, an icon who's been

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Speaker 1: on our screen since childhood, carrying generations of stories, laughter,

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Speaker 1: and expectation. And Miranda a Day, the brilliant, grounded force

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Speaker 1: beside her, helping shape what partnership and purpose look like

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Speaker 1: when you strip away the noise. We're talking about growing

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Speaker 1: up in the spotlight, healing old wounds, queerness, identity, and

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Speaker 1: the work it takes to build a love that actually lasts.

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Speaker 1: We'll get into what they protect, what they share, and

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Speaker 1: what they've learned about sex and identity, what it really

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Speaker 1: means to find love you've always dreamed of later in

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Speaker 1: life when you're ready to receive it. We'll talk about

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Speaker 1: their production company, the stories they want to tell next,

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Speaker 1: and the beautiful gut punch moment that Raven said you

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Speaker 1: wanted Miranda to live forever, because when you finally found

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Speaker 1: your person, the hardest part is knowing time isn't infinite.

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Speaker 2: This one's about.

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Speaker 1: Love, legacy, and building a life that feels like home.

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Speaker 1: Let's get wide open. Raven Miranda, thank you so much

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Speaker 1: for being here today on Wide Open.

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Speaker 2: How are you?

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Speaker 3: We are well, doing very well.

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Speaker 1: That's a loaded question right now, but at least we're here,

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Speaker 1: We're alive, we're healthy, and we're enjoying this space together today.

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Speaker 2: So I feel lucky.

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Speaker 3: You got to start with the good things.

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Speaker 1: We got to start with the good things before we

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Speaker 1: fucking get in there and start hammering down what this

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Speaker 1: political landscape actually is right now now I'm kidding. He's

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Speaker 1: not a political podcast, but we will talk shit.

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Speaker 3: Okay, great, that's fair. We can do that. We kind

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Speaker 3: of suck out, but talking shit we thrive.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we just go listen.

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Speaker 1: It has been so fun to follow your journey. I

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Speaker 1: love the podcast. I love your relationship. It is so genuine,

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Speaker 1: so sweet. It's been really you know, we've never met

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Speaker 1: before and this is like new homie experience, but I

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Speaker 1: do feel like I know you both just from how

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Speaker 1: you show up in the world and the visibility aspect.

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Speaker 2: You know, I really appreciate and it's a it's a

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Speaker 2: vulnerable thing these days to really live your truth. So

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Speaker 2: I appreciate you both being here.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: That's so kind, We are really happy to be here.

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Speaker 4: And also same because we've seen you and Sophia out

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Speaker 4: and about in certain places and we're always.

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Speaker 3: Like, oh my god, hi you guys.

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Speaker 4: And I love just how you two have shared and

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Speaker 4: let people in and you know your your entire journey

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Speaker 4: honestly before even meeting Sophia, and so thank you for

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Speaker 4: your busines ability as well.

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Speaker 1: Oh well, you're so sweet. We got to do a

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Speaker 1: double date when we're in lad.

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Speaker 3: It's so great.

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Speaker 5: Could you bring that hat and just leave it with

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Speaker 5: me when we do that double date because I guess.

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Speaker 2: This is going to be my new gift to you.

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Speaker 1: I just got it, so I will gladly regift it

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Speaker 1: to you when I get to La. We're doing We're

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Speaker 1: we're hosting a friends giving, which you will have an

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Speaker 1: invite of course.

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Speaker 4: Oh well, because we've been going back and forth about

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Speaker 4: what we're going to do for the holidays, and we

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Speaker 4: decided listen, we're a married couple. We're allowed to say

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Speaker 4: we get to start our own traditions. Now. We don't

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Speaker 4: have to be like bouncing from family to family and

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Speaker 4: thinking like this parent is going to be pissed, so

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Speaker 4: let's do it. Ourselves and figure out what we want

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Speaker 4: that to look like. So that's that's so nice to

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Speaker 4: know that we have an invitation somewhere too.

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Speaker 2: Though.

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Speaker 1: Listen, it's going to be very gay, it's going to

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Speaker 1: be very safe. We're going to talk a lot of

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Speaker 1: shit because that's what we do. We're going to laugh

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Speaker 1: through the chaos because what else at this point can

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Speaker 1: we do. But yeah, I actually am I'm so aligned

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Speaker 1: because you know, back in the day when I used

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Speaker 1: to I come from a military background, so I can

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Speaker 1: only imagine what my Thanksgiving would be like walking in

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Speaker 1: now and seeing if Fox News was on the TV

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Speaker 1: and I have zero filter, so that it would absolutely

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Speaker 1: be a nightmare and a disaster for everyone involved. Because

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Speaker 1: I feel like at this point I'm a wrecking ball

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Speaker 1: and I just need to tell everyone how I feel.

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Speaker 4: I feel like you'd end up leaving with like mapped

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Speaker 4: potatoes on your face, greavy like on your pants, because

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Speaker 4: there would have been a food fight.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're gonna say, you know what, You're not welcome anymore,

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Speaker 1: get that hell out of here.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, don't worry. I moved away from Florida

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Speaker 2: very quickly for a reason.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Wow.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, we have those family members too that sit on

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Speaker 5: the opposite side of the aisle, and it is a

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Speaker 5: delicate dance when having those conversations, not even at family dinners,

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Speaker 5: it's also a delicate dance just on an every day

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Speaker 5: especially when the phone ring, just when the phone rings,

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Speaker 5: just when you get a quick little TikTok or an

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Speaker 5: ex from one of our parents, and it's just like,

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Speaker 5: thanks for that information. You know, that's my community, right, Yeah,

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Speaker 5: it's really fun.

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Speaker 3: It's for me.

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Speaker 5: It's a masterclass and patience and empathy and letting everyone

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Speaker 5: have their say and trying my best not to cuss

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Speaker 5: them out.

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Speaker 2: Gosh, it's like we all struggle with the same shit.

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Speaker 2: I love it. It's like you're speaking to my core

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Speaker 2: right now.

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Speaker 1: But I want to know how you guys, like how

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Speaker 1: you met, how this actual? I mean, you've been married

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Speaker 1: now what five years. It's been so beautiful to watch

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Speaker 1: because Raven, I remember at one point you were being

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Speaker 1: very private about your life. You were like, listen, I

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Speaker 1: live that shit. You guys are wild. I'm out, I'm

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Speaker 1: protecting my peace. And now I feel like there's been,

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Speaker 1: you know, over the years, a pretty massive shift in

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Speaker 1: the best way, because your visibility together has been so

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Speaker 1: influential and impactful for our queer community.

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Speaker 2: Like what was that big shift?

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Speaker 5: Okay, so that's a two part question. I'm gonna let

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Speaker 5: her answer the first part and then I'll come into mind.

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Speaker 3: Okay, let's do it. So how we met.

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Speaker 4: We met at a karaoke night Raven was hosting.

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Speaker 3: I was there with a.

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Speaker 4: Few friends and we ended up talking to each other

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Speaker 4: at the bar and I just was like, I'm going

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Speaker 4: to know this person.

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Speaker 3: I really felt this connection.

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Speaker 4: It was easy and fun and conversational, and as she

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Speaker 4: was leaving, she invited me to a house party she

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Speaker 4: was throwing the following weekend, and at that moment, in

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Speaker 4: my mind, I was like, Okay, but if I'm going

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Speaker 4: to go to your house party, I'm going to have

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Speaker 4: to have a date with you before.

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Speaker 3: Like that was just the order of operations in my head.

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Speaker 3: So she gave.

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Speaker 4: Me your number, and then that week we went on

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Speaker 4: a one on one date and ended up talking, and

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Speaker 4: true in fashion, we talked for like ten hours in

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Speaker 4: the car.

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Speaker 3: We didn't even leave the car. We just talked about everything,

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Speaker 3: and I remember just being overwhelmed with our conversation.

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Speaker 4: And thinking, oh my gosh, it's incredible that I can

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Speaker 4: talk to somebody about everything from show tunes and the

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Speaker 4: entertainment industry to these deep traumas and this psychological stuff

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Speaker 4: that also I really enjoy discussing. And we just hit

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Speaker 4: all the boxes and I knew at that moment, I

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Speaker 4: really was like, this is my person. Went to her

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Speaker 4: house party and then during this week of time she

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Speaker 4: was leaving to go to the View, so she was

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Speaker 4: only in LA for about two weeks. And after her

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Speaker 4: house party, she came and stayed with me for four

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Speaker 4: days because her house was all packed up and crashed.

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Speaker 3: My house was trash.

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Speaker 2: Yeah you haul in?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh my gosh, super u hauling. Because over those

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Speaker 3: four days, she was like, Hey, if.

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Speaker 4: I were to buy you a ticket to New York

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Speaker 4: to come on this can trip with me and my friends,

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Speaker 4: Like would you come? And I remember thinking, no, I

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Speaker 4: won't because I don't really know you and I have

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Speaker 4: a job in like life and.

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Speaker 3: You're fine, come on, And literally that's what she said,

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Speaker 3: and I ended up going.

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Speaker 4: She got me a one way ticket that was end

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Speaker 4: of August. I didn't come home until the first of October,

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Speaker 4: and then I know we were terrible and then I

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Speaker 4: moved back to Neruble. Just in terms of how fast

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Speaker 4: we moved, I mean it was crazy.

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Speaker 3: That's that's real slow.

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Speaker 2: That's yeah exactly.

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Speaker 1: It's funny you say that because every single holiday birthday

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Speaker 1: that Sophia's friends like for her.

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Speaker 2: It's always a U Haul hat, it's always a U

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Speaker 2: Haul shirt.

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Speaker 1: It's always like she dipped her pinky toe in and

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Speaker 1: she was like, I am diving into this pool.

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Speaker 2: I am done. Put a bow on it, like same thing.

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Speaker 1: I was like, honey, I live in New York. You

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Speaker 1: live in l She has not been back. She has

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Speaker 1: not been back. She's like, I don't care.

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Speaker 2: I'm done. I'm done. This is good, this is oh.

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Speaker 2: I haven't searched my whole life for this. I'm going

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Speaker 2: nowhere strapping.

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Speaker 3: Good for her, strap in and strap up.

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Speaker 4: Okay, but yeah, it's it's magical when all of that aligns,

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Speaker 4: and you know, and I just had to deal with

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Speaker 4: see you're on board.

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Speaker 3: Raven broke up with me, and then I had to.

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Speaker 5: She she the question was, the question is how we met,

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Speaker 5: how we broke up? Okay, sorry, every time the question

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Speaker 5: is how we met? And now is my time to answer,

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Speaker 5: but you told the whole story about having met, so

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Speaker 5: let me get into my section. So to answer your

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Speaker 5: question about just privacy, you know, my whole life, I

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Speaker 5: was really taught that you're not supposed to really share

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Speaker 5: your public You're not supposed to share your private with

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Speaker 5: your public, because sometimes that can overshadow the work. I

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Speaker 5: grew up in the time of you know, the National

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Speaker 5: Inquirer and you know people, and when relationships really did

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Speaker 5: outshine people's product and content. So multiple NDAs with a

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Speaker 5: lot of people met her and tried to get her

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Speaker 5: to sign an NDA reluctant, but did.

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Speaker 4: And then it's so sad to me. Sorry to interrupt you,

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Speaker 4: but it was sad to me because it felt all

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Speaker 4: of a sudden like this and I understand it, but

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Speaker 4: it felt like a business negotiation and something. And I

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Speaker 4: was and I was, I love you, and at that

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Speaker 4: point that was such a foreign idea to me to

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Speaker 4: have to kind of I was also like, what do

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Speaker 4: you think I would do if we were to break up?

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Speaker 4: You think I'm going to go like run to some

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Speaker 4: publisher and be like, let me give you a tell all?

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Speaker 4: And I just that, But that's not It's so far

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Speaker 4: from who I am.

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Speaker 3: I couldn't. I do understand that a lot of people

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Speaker 3: have done that. It's a lot of people have lied

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Speaker 3: on people, and you know what I mean.

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Speaker 5: And I just you know, my parents were very very

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Speaker 5: adamant about me protecting my life and especially being gay.

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Speaker 5: That was even more to me something that my parents

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Speaker 5: did didn't even know about. But for me, it was like, Okay,

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Speaker 5: at the time, this could be quote unquote dangerous to

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Speaker 5: come out. Nobody should know this because the culture that

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Speaker 5: I grew up in, it wasn't as open as it

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Speaker 5: is now. So when we got married, I was still

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Speaker 5: under the impression that were won't be quiet. But I

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Speaker 5: knew that when I did marry. Before I met her,

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Speaker 5: I knew that when I married, I would be more

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Speaker 5: comfortable telling truths about my relationship because there is a

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Speaker 5: contract that there are things that can be said, that

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Speaker 5: things that can it's not just a girlfriend or it's

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Speaker 5: not just a boyfriend, to where you know, you got

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Speaker 5: to think about it a little bit longer before you

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Speaker 5: leave me, yes, exactly. And so you know, she was

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Speaker 5: really gung ho for getting out there and doing lives

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Speaker 5: with me and us sharing our relationship and she made

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Speaker 5: me feel comfortable. So and it's fun to be able

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Speaker 5: to just show what a lesbian marriage looks like, even

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Speaker 5: though it just looks like a normal marriage. But I

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Speaker 5: think that some people need to have certain titles to

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Speaker 5: make it seem like, ooh, that's what you guys do,

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Speaker 5: and like, yeah, we bicker and have a good time

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Speaker 5: at the science.

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Speaker 2: We're normal people. Welcome to the party, honey.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting that you say that, because I you

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Speaker 1: did grow up with the world watching and when you

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Speaker 1: look back, like, what parts of that little girl have

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Speaker 1: you worked so hard to protect and reclaim In this

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Speaker 1: new identity of just being like so happy, you just

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Speaker 1: seem so vibrant, so light. It's it's really you don't

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Speaker 1: have to know you for that long just to see

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Speaker 1: the way you're moving in the world.

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Speaker 6: Oh, thank you very much. Now that's a loaded question

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Speaker 6: for me.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, I figured right off the top of the show.

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Speaker 2: Let's go listen.

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Speaker 6: It's fine, it's fine.

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Speaker 3: How would you? And that's hard for me.

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Speaker 4: Because I think for you, it's it's an ongoing process. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: And what I've witnessed in Raven, let's say, over the

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Speaker 4: ten plus years I've known her, now is the raven

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Speaker 4: that I met back in twenty fifteen was extremely guarded,

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Speaker 4: even though she seemed so open to me. What I've

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Speaker 4: realized now is the different There are such different pockets

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Speaker 4: of who she is and how she maneuvers, how she expressed. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and she's a master of disassociation.

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Speaker 3: Which I association.

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Speaker 5: Remember my therapist said, it's not disassociation, it's dissociation.

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Speaker 4: Okay, she's a master of dissociation. And that was also

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Speaker 4: a protection. That was a defense mechanism into place because

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Speaker 4: of my childhood, because of her childhood, for sure. But

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Speaker 4: what I've seen you do and work on recently is

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Speaker 4: letting that little girl actually have a voice, because I

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Speaker 4: think she'd never had one. And I see you giving

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Speaker 4: space for those little girl feelings to surface and show up,

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Speaker 4: and then also you.

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Speaker 3: Are able to better.

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Speaker 4: Parent and love that little that part of you I

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Speaker 4: think that didn't get what she needed.

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Speaker 5: So to piggyback on that, to answer verbatim, what part

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Speaker 5: of me am I protecting? I've protected the little girl

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Speaker 5: and the middle school girl my whole life, like they've

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Speaker 5: always been in a box somewhere, so that the industry

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Speaker 5: or anyone around me couldn't touch them, and they were

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Speaker 5: always banging on the door. Only recently have I remembered

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Speaker 5: where I placed that key and allow, But there were

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Speaker 5: so many different masks that got hit with all of

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Speaker 5: the Hollywood bs over the years that the little girl

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Speaker 5: was just like, what's happening?

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Speaker 3: You know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: So I think it's really beautiful that you both. I mean,

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Speaker 1: clearly you both do the work. I mean, it's very evident.

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Speaker 1: But I think what's so beautiful and what I don't

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Speaker 1: think people talk about enough is and Sophia and I

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Speaker 1: talk about this at length all the time. She is

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Speaker 1: such a beautiful human that has grown up in the

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Speaker 1: public eye and it has broken her in so many

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Speaker 1: ways that she is highly anxious. She cares way too

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Speaker 1: much about what people think, and she's very very, very

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Speaker 1: very highly sensitive. And I don't weaponize that. I actually

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Speaker 1: care for it. And I think, Miranda, that's exactly what

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Speaker 1: you're saying, Like she carries this history, and I imagine

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Speaker 1: finding each other has been such a pivotal moment in

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Speaker 1: both of your lives that you care for each other's

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Speaker 1: scars in a way that is beautiful.

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Speaker 2: Where most people can weaponize.

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Speaker 1: Most people are like, don't bring that baggage into this, Like,

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Speaker 1: I don't, that's old. It's not my job to unpack it.

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Speaker 1: But I actually highly disagree. I think we all are

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Speaker 1: a work in progress, and we all have a lot

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Speaker 1: of trauma and grief we carry, and I think the

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Speaker 1: most beautiful relationships care for that in a very sacred

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Speaker 1: way that helps them walk that life even though there's

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Speaker 1: broken pieces of it. Would you agree?

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Speaker 5: You're so fantastic because I'm the person who's like, don't

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Speaker 5: bring that baggage in here?

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Speaker 3: What are you doing?

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Speaker 6: Why didn't I get fixed with the last relationship.

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Speaker 3: We're adults.

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Speaker 5: That's me, She's the sweetheart. I'm the one like, what

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Speaker 5: the fuck is happening right now? Well, I don't even

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Speaker 5: think it's I'm learning, though she is learning.

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Speaker 4: I don't even think it's like being a sweetheart or

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Speaker 4: anything like that.

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Speaker 3: I think it's really how you perceive in your relationships.

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Speaker 4: And I think what you're saying, Ashon, I really am

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Speaker 4: aligned with because I think that when people commit to

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Speaker 4: each other, it is one of the most beautiful, life

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Speaker 4: changing things you can do to give space for another

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Speaker 4: person to show up as themselves truly, and we say

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Speaker 4: these things all the time, but I think to really

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Speaker 4: understand that and really put it into practice is another

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Speaker 4: story and another conversation. And also understanding my belief that

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Speaker 4: is in relationship is that we're really just mirroring each other,

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Speaker 4: constantly mirroring each other, which means if I am triggered

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Speaker 4: by Raven, it has way less to do with Raven

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Speaker 4: than it has to do with me, And that discomfort

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Speaker 4: for me is data that's information for me to go

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Speaker 4: into on my own time to figure out.

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Speaker 3: But to have a partner who's.

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Speaker 4: Also willing to sit by your side, hold your hand,

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Speaker 4: be the stability, the love, the support that you might

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Speaker 4: not have ever received, to be the home if you will,

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Speaker 4: for you to then be the adult version of yourself

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Speaker 4: that might have to also play out the kid version

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Speaker 4: of yourself is the greatest gift we can, I think,

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Speaker 4: give each other, because you're allowing someone's space to heal

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Speaker 4: and become what I think is maybe the best version

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Speaker 4: of themselves. Yeah, and that's that's who could ask for

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Speaker 4: anything more.

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Speaker 1: Stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment. After

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Speaker 1: this brief message from our sponsors. I have listened to

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Speaker 1: a lot of your interviews, and both of you do

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Speaker 1: talk about having such an open line of communication and

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Speaker 1: so much honesty in this new version of who you

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Speaker 1: are and your relationship. I know, Raven, you spoke about

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Speaker 1: when Miranda. I don't know if it was something about,

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Speaker 1: you know, having separate bedrooms or having those hard kind

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Speaker 1: of conversations.

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Speaker 2: Where did that? Did it take time to get there?

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Speaker 3: She loves you right.

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Speaker 2: Now, we just we're in therapy. If you don't know,

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Speaker 2: she'd always.

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Speaker 6: Her love language girl, and I'm just like no.

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Speaker 3: I will say that. I will start it like this.

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Speaker 5: I grew up in my house, she grew up in

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Speaker 5: her house, and our parenting styles, our parents' parenting styles

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Speaker 5: are extremely different. And with that extreme from both sides

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Speaker 5: of the line, my harsh tone, aggressive nature, and right

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Speaker 5: to the point conversation was probably a little bit harming

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Speaker 5: at the beginning because I grew up in a family

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Speaker 5: where it's like go pick up the shoes, Okay, I

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Speaker 5: did it great, That's what you're supposed to do.

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Speaker 6: Keep going like it wasn't a oh you did such

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Speaker 6: a good job.

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Speaker 5: That came when you did something excellent, and that informed

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Speaker 5: me on how to be in relationships where it's just like,

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Speaker 5: I need you to do that real quick, thanks much,

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Speaker 5: And they're like, well, not her, but other partners were like, well,

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Speaker 5: do I get some love after it.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, that's a shit's supposed to do. I don't

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Speaker 3: know what's going on.

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Speaker 5: So working with her and mirroring her, I've learned how

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Speaker 5: to be a little bit softer, a little bit, you know,

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Speaker 5: not as aggressive. But at the same time, all we

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Speaker 5: have always.

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Speaker 3: Told the truth to each other.

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Speaker 5: We have always been in a relationship for the ten

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Speaker 5: hours that we met the first day, where we just

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Speaker 5: knew that talking was important. And I think after we

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Speaker 5: got married maybe it felt a little bit more like, oh, okay,

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Speaker 5: do I have to put on my soft gloves again?

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Speaker 5: Because this is not for me. This is not something

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Speaker 5: I can run away from. This is someone that's going

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Speaker 5: to be with me forever. How do I then communicate

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Speaker 5: the best way for her to understand? And there was

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Speaker 5: a long time where it would be like, Okay, how

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Speaker 5: do I say this in order for you to understand

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Speaker 5: my language? Because we speak different languages, you know what

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00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 5: I mean? And so I think that's a constant even today,

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Speaker 5: with the growth that we have had, I sometimes catch

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Speaker 5: myself going back into my old way of a could

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Speaker 5: you do this real quick, and then forgetting like, oh sorry, babes,

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Speaker 5: love you.

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Speaker 6: Can you did such a good job. I love you

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Speaker 6: so much.

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Speaker 3: Can you do this? But I'm being extreme with it.

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Speaker 4: I think for me, what's been interesting is I came

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Speaker 4: into almost every single relationship I've ever had with set

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Speaker 4: ideas that are very much built from the heterosexual world

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Speaker 4: number one. And I also had a lot of fear

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Speaker 4: around relationships because of my abandonment issues. So I understood

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Speaker 4: that and I made this commitment to myself. I was like,

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Speaker 4: I am not going to have what happened to my

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Speaker 4: parents happened to me, and that meant get divorced or

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Speaker 4: be in an unhappy relationship. And I know that sometimes

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Speaker 4: divorce can actually be a positive thing for people, but

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Speaker 4: I really like, had this just this clear idea that

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Speaker 4: by the time I decided to get married, I was

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Speaker 4: going to be really sure that I was with the

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Speaker 4: right person I could build my life with.

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Speaker 3: So unfortunately I didn't.

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Speaker 4: Really do the work before to position myself in a

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Speaker 4: way where I was secure enough in myself to start

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Speaker 4: building from that space, Because I think if I was

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Speaker 4: secure in myself those ideas, those fears wouldn't have been

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Speaker 4: so all consuming. So I came into my relationship with

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Speaker 4: Raven or our marriage with a lot of the same

433
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Speaker 4: issues I had as a girlfriend, which were being abandoned,

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Speaker 4: being not worthy, not lovable. If I wasn't validated consistently,

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00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:59,080
Speaker 4: then something was the matter, and that meant I had

436
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Speaker 4: fucked something up and blah blah blah.

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Speaker 3: So what I really had to.

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Speaker 4: Learn was our relationship, like she said, language and understanding,

439
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 4: like specifically the separate bedroom thing. For me, you'd ask

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Speaker 4: me that three years ago, I would have had the

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Speaker 4: tape in my head that I've heard most people say,

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Speaker 4: which is separate bedrooms, you're on the road to divorce.

443
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:23,200
Speaker 4: That's oh my god, you're not having sex every night.

444
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:26,359
Speaker 4: Well he's about to go and cheat on you. Don't

445
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:28,719
Speaker 4: like That was the tape in my head. And what

446
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 4: I had to learn, and what Raven has helped me

447
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 4: with so much, is no, it's okay that we like

448
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:35,440
Speaker 4: separate spaces.

449
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,720
Speaker 3: It's actually like helping us.

450
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 4: That's helping us, And this is really all that matters,

451
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 4: is what happens for us. You know, what if we

452
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 4: can't have sex every night, because that is exhausting for us.

453
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,240
Speaker 3: That's okay, because when you it works for us. The

454
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:53,640
Speaker 3: comparing and contrasting that I was stuck in in almost

455
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 3: every avenue of my life. I'm very much that person.

456
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, she's so much prettier than me. Oh

457
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 3: my gosh, she's so much more fit. She's blah blah blah.

458
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:03,960
Speaker 3: That lived in my relationship. Oh my gosh.

459
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,880
Speaker 5: That partner is posting all the time about this there.

460
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,680
Speaker 5: Oh my god, the posting hilarious. If I didn't post

461
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,119
Speaker 5: for her birthday, she'd be like, you don't love me.

462
00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:13,160
Speaker 5: I'm like, girl, I am up underneath your arm pit

463
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:14,399
Speaker 5: the worst times.

464
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,280
Speaker 3: I love you so much. Yeah, Internet doesn't know. Nobody

465
00:24:17,359 --> 00:24:17,719
Speaker 3: gives them.

466
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 1: But that's that's like I want to be in your skin, actually, yeah,

467
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:22,639
Speaker 1: Like I don't.

468
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,600
Speaker 3: Want you on my Instagram. I need inside of your body.

469
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:25,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

470
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,720
Speaker 4: But I mean, those are the things I think that

471
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,399
Speaker 4: are really difficult when you're just a human being existing

472
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,439
Speaker 4: in this world and we have as much messaging as

473
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 4: we do, and have as many ideas telling us of

474
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 4: how we should be, what we should look like, what

475
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:41,120
Speaker 4: our relationship should be like, how we should be exercising, eating.

476
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 4: I mean, it goes on and on and on. So

477
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:46,640
Speaker 4: I think that when I boil it down, and we've

478
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 4: boiled it down, it is about being really honest with

479
00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 4: each other, allowing uncomfortable things to happen. But all of

480
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:58,359
Speaker 4: those things can happen because we have built a really

481
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 4: solid foundation. And when you know at a baseline that

482
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 4: you're with someone who has got your back and you're

483
00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 4: safe with, then you can do the uncomfortable things.

484
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,040
Speaker 5: One of the things that I used to say in

485
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,679
Speaker 5: the beginning of a relationship when things got heightened in

486
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 5: her anxiety and all this stuff started to flare up,

487
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 5: and be like, but I married you. Yeah, don't forget Yeah,

488
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,000
Speaker 5: had I married yeah? But you didn't say this. This

489
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,119
Speaker 5: is I'm like, but I married you. My problem in

490
00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,640
Speaker 5: the relationship was that I was too confident. I had

491
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 5: done so much work with all of my guys and

492
00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 5: females beforehand, where I would sit there and be like,

493
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:33,120
Speaker 5: you need space to do what you need to do.

494
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,120
Speaker 5: I'll be here for you when you need the love

495
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 5: that I can give you. And that's how I functioned,

496
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:40,639
Speaker 5: and with her she needed a lot more. So I

497
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,640
Speaker 5: had to learn how to give her that and more.

498
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,080
Speaker 5: What I mean is care and affection. Yeah, and I

499
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 5: had not had that prior to because I was just

500
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 5: letting everybody calm themselves down. But she also needed that

501
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 5: space to grow and to live. And then now we

502
00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 5: can come together and be like, you want to get

503
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 5: the love that I want to give you at this

504
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 5: at this stage in our life.

505
00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 3: It's nice.

506
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 6: Yeah.

507
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:07,840
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because you've both been really intentional about

508
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 1: what you share and what you hold sacred.

509
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 2: Do you how do you decide.

510
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: What you plan to like share for the world on

511
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 1: your podcast or this is just like this is for us, babe,

512
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:25,280
Speaker 1: this is like our piece, our safety, this is our home.

513
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:29,719
Speaker 5: I think that I can answer this question by saying,

514
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 5: when you have a connection with someone, there's a quiet communication.

515
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 3: Yea.

516
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:35,920
Speaker 5: We don't have to talk about what we don't want

517
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 5: to talk about because we know that we're not.

518
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 3: About to talk about that right now. Wan, it'll flare

519
00:26:40,359 --> 00:26:40,720
Speaker 3: us up.

520
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 1: Yep.

521
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 5: Y'all don't need to know because it's just like that's personal.

522
00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:49,440
Speaker 5: We know what's personal. We know it's not quiet communication

523
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:52,080
Speaker 5: one percent. There are so many moments on the podcast

524
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 5: where we'll look.

525
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 4: At each other and we both just know the face

526
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 4: and it's like, oh, wait, are you doing it?

527
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 3: But it's like are you doing that? Are you going to? Oh,

528
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 3: we're doing this okay, and.

529
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,480
Speaker 4: We know I mean, they're just like you said, babe,

530
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 4: I think there are just are things we know that.

531
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,199
Speaker 5: We will never need to discuss publicly. But it took

532
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:14,160
Speaker 5: a minute. It took a minute to figure that out.

533
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 4: It started out for me because I am such an

534
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,520
Speaker 4: open book, and I came from a space of the

535
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 4: more conversation the better. The more I can share stories

536
00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:28,320
Speaker 4: about things that I've experienced, then more people can maybe

537
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:32,120
Speaker 4: potentially relate, then there's a greater dialogue. And I've had

538
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 4: to learn that that actually isn't true. Sometimes sometimes I

539
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 4: just feel like I've given way too much, opened up

540
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:45,719
Speaker 4: way too much, and especially now publicly, you set yourself

541
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:49,679
Speaker 4: up for so much more criticism, so much more so,

542
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 4: many more opportunities to be misunderstood. And something I really

543
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,400
Speaker 4: admire about you, Ashon and Sophia too, in listening listening.

544
00:27:58,119 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 3: To you to talk.

545
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,560
Speaker 4: You both are so oh eloquent. You're so well spoken

546
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,960
Speaker 4: and so intentional, and sometimes I've listened to you both

547
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:07,920
Speaker 4: and I'm like, fuck.

548
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,439
Speaker 3: I should have just said it like that, like that,

549
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 3: it was just so clean, And I have a lot

550
00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 3: of like let your file.

551
00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:18,800
Speaker 1: I do think it's I can only share from my experience.

552
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 1: And I'm the same way Miranda. I like to overshare

553
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: because when I share and I go on loop about things,

554
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 1: it minimizes the big feeling I feel inside. So I

555
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,520
Speaker 1: have to talk about it, like my mental health journey,

556
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 1: my addiction journey, my trauma as a child, the decision

557
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:42,360
Speaker 1: to leave my ex wife, and I feel that it's

558
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 1: important for me to talk about the things otherwise, Raven,

559
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 1: I'm very similar. I became a master at completely being

560
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:57,920
Speaker 1: able to push things down and disassociate.

561
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,520
Speaker 3: And dissociate, dissociate.

562
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: And I want to share my scars with this younger generation,

563
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: like I am imperfectly perfect in a lot of ways,

564
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:09,160
Speaker 1: and I am broken in a lot of ways, And like,

565
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,479
Speaker 1: I have to talk about these things.

566
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 2: But I'm curious for you both, Like.

567
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: What has the public gotten wrong about you two that

568
00:29:19,000 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: you've learned to just say fuck it, I'm letting this go.

569
00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: There's nothing I can do to change what people think,

570
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 1: and God, they have it really wrong, and that's unfortunate.

571
00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:36,080
Speaker 1: Up well, is this the look we're talking about?

572
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 4: This this look was Go ahead, babe, the floor is yours,

573
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 4: because you get.

574
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:42,240
Speaker 3: A lot more hate than I do.

575
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 4: I think, man, I think what I've experienced that's been

576
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 4: really surprising is.

577
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:56,680
Speaker 3: Okay. When we got married, Raven.

578
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:02,200
Speaker 4: Kind of give me a quick you know this can

579
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,880
Speaker 4: this might be difficult, This might be difficult. And when

580
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 4: one of the reasons that she broke up with me

581
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:11,040
Speaker 4: was because she wasn't ready to be with a white person,

582
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:14,600
Speaker 4: and I did not know that she was struggling with

583
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:17,160
Speaker 4: any of those feelings while we were dating, which made

584
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 4: me sad when I found out because I felt like

585
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,240
Speaker 4: I couldn't well, there's nothing I can.

586
00:30:21,080 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 3: Do about it.

587
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 7: What was she about to do? But also makeup, there's

588
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 7: nothing I can do about it. There's nothing I can

589
00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,720
Speaker 7: do about my whiteness. But I could have just been more.

590
00:30:31,600 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 4: Aware of what my partner was going through and maybe

591
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:39,000
Speaker 4: supported her better that in some way. No, yeah, no,

592
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 4: I think I've just been surprised by how many people

593
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 4: number one hate me just because of what I look

594
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 4: like and the fact that we already.

595
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 5: Welcome, welcome, welcome to the party.

596
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 3: And that we are an interracial couple again.

597
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 4: Part of why I even wanted to pitch the idea

598
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 4: of YouTube and how being a platform together was because

599
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't see us anywhere, you know,

600
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 4: I see like Wanda Sykes and her wife. Really like

601
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 4: everyone else that I see that might look like us

602
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 4: is it's like Bet and Tina, like we need like

603
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:17,239
Speaker 4: real representation, you know, we need a real couple. And

604
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:21,520
Speaker 4: so I get a lot of I'm Raven's handler, I

605
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 4: whitewash her, I'm a gold digger, I'm controlsing. I don't

606
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 4: let Raven do anything by herself. You know, I talk

607
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 4: too much, I overtalk, I interrupt. I mean, the shit

608
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 4: that I see and hear is is overwhelming, and it's

609
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 4: kind of a shame because the truth of what's happening

610
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 4: is we're a couple that's trying to like grow, thrive,

611
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 4: create content that people may resonate with, might be entertained by.

612
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:59,520
Speaker 4: I'm also trying to, yeah, of course, step into my

613
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 4: own strengths, find my voice more clearly in my work field.

614
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 4: You know, there are personal goals and growth that I'm

615
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 4: also trying to achieve that everyone is entitled to. So

616
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 4: I've tried to honestly, let all of it go Ashland

617
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 4: because the noise shouldn't impact me one way or another,

618
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 4: whether it's positive or negative. It's that's a new thought process.

619
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 4: Let me let me jump in here. Yeah, that's because

620
00:32:26,240 --> 00:32:28,960
Speaker 4: when it did start, there was a little bit of

621
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 4: a thing between us because she was like, why aren't.

622
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 3: You Why aren't you saying this? And the why aren't

623
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 3: you saying this?

624
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 2: In the comments?

625
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:36,680
Speaker 3: Why aren't you saying this? And I'm like, I've.

626
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 5: Been through so much shit when it comes to the

627
00:32:39,760 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 5: comments and being hated from back in the day that

628
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 5: I know the best thing to do is to turn

629
00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 5: to delete the app and keep going. And when she

630
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,920
Speaker 5: started getting death threats, oh that was different.

631
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:54,480
Speaker 3: That was different.

632
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 5: When she started getting death threats, I was like, you

633
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:57,840
Speaker 5: can literally not do anything.

634
00:32:58,000 --> 00:32:59,960
Speaker 3: Can I just tell you why I was getting death threats?

635
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 3: The whole thing started because.

636
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 4: I was asked on Kiki Palmer's podcast by Kiki if

637
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 4: I'd ever watched if I watched that So Raven growing

638
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 4: up as a kid, and I said no, I didn't.

639
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,280
Speaker 4: Actually I've seen all of it since.

640
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 3: We've been together. I love it. I think the show

641
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 3: is fantastic. But I didn't watch it growing up.

642
00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:19,600
Speaker 4: And.

643
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 5: The internet world went crazy, and so I'm used to

644
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 5: dissociating and putting it away because you're not who I

645
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 5: speak to at Starbucks, and if you are, I dare

646
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,200
Speaker 5: you to say something to my face. So there was

647
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 5: a moment where I had to speak up. But you know,

648
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 5: being from the generation that a comment is the end

649
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 5: all be all, or if somebody comments or doesn't like

650
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 5: a picture, you're not popular.

651
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,280
Speaker 6: The world is ending. I'm not from that generation.

652
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:52,520
Speaker 5: I don't care. I love it, Thanks for thanks so much.

653
00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 5: But what matters is if these suits on the twenty

654
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,600
Speaker 5: first floor hire me and I do my job, That's

655
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:01,320
Speaker 5: what matters. And so now, oh, my wife is really

656
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 5: starting to understand that. And I remember saying to her,

657
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:07,120
Speaker 5: I'm like, did that prevent you from having these five

658
00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:08,719
Speaker 5: pitch meetings and selling a show?

659
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:10,279
Speaker 3: Did that comment.

660
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 5: Change anything in your life other than your mental state

661
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:15,240
Speaker 5: because you read it and you think that someone's going happy.

662
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 3: Did the Amazon packages stop being delivered?

663
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,400
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm obsessed?

664
00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:24,399
Speaker 3: Did it stop? I was like, no, that's true, it off.

665
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 2: Is it fucking with your money? Here to be a period?

666
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:31,799
Speaker 1: But I turned my comments. I am what you need

667
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,320
Speaker 1: to know about me. Besides, I'm head to toe tattoos

668
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:38,760
Speaker 1: and I look a certain way. I am a gentle, soft,

669
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 1: squishy teddy bear. I had to turn my fucking comments off.

670
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 1: I'll never open those things back up.

671
00:34:44,719 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 3: Nope, you can't do it.

672
00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 5: It's another It's another part of the game that we

673
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:53,319
Speaker 5: don't have to play that gives them a chance to interact.

674
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 5: And if you allow them, if you allow those comments

675
00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 5: to interact with you, you're.

676
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 3: Not being your best self. You know.

677
00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 5: That's another form of bullying. But those people get excitement

678
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 5: from it. So I'm all I'm from the mindset, and

679
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 5: I told her. I was like, the more haters you have,

680
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 5: the more.

681
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 6: Clout you have.

682
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,399
Speaker 3: Let the hate. I don't care, but it's about it's

683
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,920
Speaker 3: about how you interact with that hate that matters.

684
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 4: One of the craziest things, though, when it comes to

685
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 4: headlines or videos that I ever saw, and I showed

686
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 4: this to Raven, somebody made like a news report, oh

687
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 4: my god video that was like on TikTok about us

688
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:31,200
Speaker 4: having a public fight in a in a restaurant and

689
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 4: the quote was Raven simone storms out of restaurant and yells,

690
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 4: yells to wife. Stop talking to me that way. I'm

691
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 4: not your slave, and that like in the in the thing,

692
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 4: it's like AI generated. It's like Randa was yelling at

693
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:53,600
Speaker 4: Raven Raven through glass of water, like this whole explanation

694
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 4: of this fight that we had had at a restaurant

695
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,799
Speaker 4: we've never been to in our lives, like it was.

696
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:02,360
Speaker 5: That was good, but again the AI generated content because

697
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 5: hate brings eye.

698
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 2: Clicks, clicks clicks.

699
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:10,120
Speaker 1: No one's out here being like, oh, the greatest love

700
00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:16,279
Speaker 1: story of all time, only only J did that. That's

701
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:21,840
Speaker 1: so sorry, bless bless you.

702
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:26,240
Speaker 5: Really that was a you guys.

703
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:26,600
Speaker 2: Gave it to me.

704
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:30,000
Speaker 1: I really tease you up for that.

705
00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:34,000
Speaker 3: That was really funny.

706
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,240
Speaker 1: This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.

707
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.

708
00:36:40,320 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 2: We'll be right back. I will say this, Raven.

709
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:52,680
Speaker 1: I saw a birthday message that you recently put up,

710
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 1: and you were like, I want you to live forever,

711
00:36:56,680 --> 00:36:59,560
Speaker 1: like a million years, like you were being so sweet

712
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: and so and.

713
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 2: It's interesting because.

714
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 1: Sophia and I say this all the time, I want

715
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 1: you to live forever, and I'm curious. I want you

716
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,399
Speaker 1: to elaborate a little more on it, because I do

717
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: think it has taken so much for all of us

718
00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:18,520
Speaker 1: to get to where we are right now, and the

719
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: way we move in the world, and how we show

720
00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: up for ourselves and our partners and the safety and

721
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:31,480
Speaker 1: like the love that we feel in these sacred spaces.

722
00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:35,760
Speaker 1: I can only say, like, I'm so at peace. Time

723
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:40,319
Speaker 1: is one thing money can't buy, and it's so unpredicted,

724
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 1: and I want to live in this happiness, in this

725
00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 1: peace forever and ever and ever, because I'm finally getting

726
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,560
Speaker 1: what I saw on movies that I always was like,

727
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 1: Oh that shit doesn't exist in real life, and I'm

728
00:37:52,760 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: like living it and I can't selfishly. I just want more.

729
00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 1: I want more. I want more. I want more. And

730
00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 1: I'm wondering if you said that because you resonate like

731
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,760
Speaker 1: you resonate with it and you feel that finally getting

732
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 1: that type of love you've always wanted, Like do we

733
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,840
Speaker 1: share that together? Or am I getting like emotionally deep

734
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 1: and like, nah.

735
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 3: Girl, Ashlynn, you said it perfectly.

736
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,799
Speaker 5: However, the reason I did that was because my wife

737
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 5: really likes Instagram posts for her for something else and

738
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 5: I'm just playing, but I.

739
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 3: Was like a little bit of a dick. That's my

740
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:30,040
Speaker 3: that's my shicks.

741
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: That shows that's that shows a healthy sign of a relationship.

742
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:35,760
Speaker 2: Let me tell you.

743
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,200
Speaker 5: Look, because honey, I said it for a different I

744
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 5: said it for a couple of reasons. I'm gonna tell

745
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,000
Speaker 5: the truth, and I'm gonna tell the deeper, subconscious one.

746
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,280
Speaker 3: The truth is my wife has health.

747
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:48,520
Speaker 5: Anxiety, and I really want to make sure she knows

748
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 5: that she is not leaving this planet before me. She

749
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:53,080
Speaker 5: always says I have to leave for I'm like, that's

750
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 5: not happening. You're I'm staying longer than you, and you're healthy.

751
00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,879
Speaker 5: I'm super healthy. I know you are so much better.

752
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 5: I know, but I haven't, but I did the last

753
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:03,600
Speaker 5: time I posted.

754
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,080
Speaker 3: That's what was from my birthday in August.

755
00:39:06,719 --> 00:39:11,919
Speaker 5: Yes, you just got the plates instructor a great way.

756
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:15,399
Speaker 5: She's a Plotti's genius or whatever. And then the other

757
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,840
Speaker 5: side of it is I agree with everything that you

758
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 5: just said, Ashlynn. I actually had this comment. I'm doing

759
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 5: a documentary about my I'm not doing it. Robin Roberts

760
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,919
Speaker 5: is doing a documentary about my life. And I had

761
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:32,400
Speaker 5: the conversation just yesterday about how just really just regurgitating

762
00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 5: what you said, but growing up in Atlanta and working

763
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,440
Speaker 5: for as long as I have in the industry, only

764
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 5: having Ellen DeGeneres and barely Paula Poundstone and secretly Whitney Houston.

765
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:50,880
Speaker 5: There were no and Chaz Bono that was a plus,

766
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:55,759
Speaker 5: but there were no signs that the life that I'm

767
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,719
Speaker 5: living right now is actually possible. What I thought was

768
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,319
Speaker 5: going to happen was that I was going to marry

769
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,600
Speaker 5: a man, and I was gonna buy two houses, one

770
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,280
Speaker 5: that he lives in and then one that my woman

771
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,279
Speaker 5: lives in, and I was just gonna go between the

772
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 5: two houses if somebody needed to take a picture, I'd

773
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 5: be with him. But then he knew that he can

774
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 5: do whatever you wanted to. And I was gonna like

775
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 5: that's I planned that shit out. I had properties. It

776
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:20,239
Speaker 5: was just I was gonna be And yesterday when I

777
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:22,200
Speaker 5: was talking to one of the producers at the Dock,

778
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 5: I was saying that I'm literally in a dream state

779
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 5: to where if this like it's kind of unhealthy because

780
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,080
Speaker 5: it hasn't saturated in my skin yet.

781
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,160
Speaker 3: It's still it still feels like some.

782
00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 5: Days I have to wake up be like, yo, I

783
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 5: got married period period to a woman.

784
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 3: That's crazy.

785
00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:41,760
Speaker 6: That's crazy.

786
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 5: And I'm out here talking about it and people like,

787
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 5: see me for it. It's some days it doesn't click in,

788
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:52,000
Speaker 5: it doesn't sink in. Some days I'm in it fully

789
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,280
Speaker 5: and I'm like, yeah, let's look at this beautiful moment.

790
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:57,120
Speaker 5: And then some days I'm like, uh, do people know?

791
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,439
Speaker 5: But that's my own personal mental sickness. But it's true.

792
00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 5: It's like I do want her. I want her to

793
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 5: thrive past life, you know what I mean? Like, I

794
00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 5: want her soul to be so happy this go round

795
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:11,480
Speaker 5: that when she's in her next soul, she doesn't think

796
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 5: that she was tortured in a in a castle, and

797
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 5: then she can she can. That's another conversation, that she

798
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:21,840
Speaker 5: can live so peacefully now because I know my wife's

799
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 5: history and I want her to be happy. So yeah,

800
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 5: And a lot of the times I write those messages

801
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 5: and I'm like, what are the things that I don't

802
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:31,080
Speaker 5: say out loud enough? Because I was raised by guys,

803
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:36,200
Speaker 5: so my verbal love and communication is a little different.

804
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,840
Speaker 1: No, I feel that I get the I get the comment.

805
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:45,000
Speaker 1: Often when I'm getting too serious or too specific and

806
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 1: too direct, it's sweetheart, we're not in the locker room.

807
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 1: Please do not talk to me like I'm your teammate,

808
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,799
Speaker 1: I'm a different kind of teammate. Yeah, and I have

809
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:58,400
Speaker 1: to like, I got it, I'm in I'm a dial.

810
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, And that's a good reminder. And I think that

811
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 4: that's also a good way to maybe communicate, Like I

812
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 4: could be a better communicator in those moments instead of

813
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 4: just saying, don't talk to me that way, or I

814
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 4: don't like that to be like I'm not a kid

815
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 4: on a set that you're directing right now, you know

816
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 4: what I mean, Like I don't remember who I am. Yeah,

817
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 4: and that that'll click in and I'll say it to

818
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 4: you too.

819
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,280
Speaker 3: This has been such good therapy.

820
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 2: Well, I think you're welcome, man, I'm for free. Yeah,

821
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 2: imagine that it's accessible here.

822
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 3: Truly. We're gonna have to do this weekly, I guess.

823
00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 2: So what's next for you both? I mean you you

824
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 2: you're just you're.

825
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:42,759
Speaker 1: The best, and you're both highly successful and super creative.

826
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:46,879
Speaker 1: And I know you're starting Did you start already the

827
00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 1: production company?

828
00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 3: Yes, you started it. Yes, we started it.

829
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 2: We are Curs Pictures.

830
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, look at.

831
00:42:54,560 --> 00:43:00,319
Speaker 1: Me go I know, okay, research, Yeah, I don't miss any.

832
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 5: We are currently in the process of pitching creating and

833
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:11,480
Speaker 5: aligning with a lot of different podcasts and constantly just

834
00:43:11,880 --> 00:43:12,720
Speaker 5: moving forward.

835
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 3: But the baby that is now a.

836
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,879
Speaker 5: Toddler, I think we should we can say now that

837
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 5: we feed most Formula two is the podcast.

838
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, Time slow performance. I don't know, maybe we're

839
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:33,080
Speaker 4: on solids now, Tea. Time is really my baby. This

840
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,800
Speaker 4: is true, and I really put a lot of attention

841
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:37,239
Speaker 4: and energy into it.

842
00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 3: But also, I mean, we have some great projects in

843
00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:42,120
Speaker 3: our production company, Raven. You have so much going on, babes.

844
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:43,319
Speaker 3: I know, I have so much going on.

845
00:43:43,680 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 5: I'm writing a book, I'm writing my memoir, the doc

846
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,400
Speaker 5: that I talked about a little bit earlier.

847
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 3: Yes, a few things.

848
00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,880
Speaker 5: And you know, for those in the industry who know

849
00:43:53,000 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 5: when you create something and try to sell it, that's

850
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:56,000
Speaker 5: such a slow process.

851
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

852
00:43:57,080 --> 00:43:59,800
Speaker 5: Yes, So that's why there hasn't really been a big

853
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 5: it because we also want to make sure that we

854
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,160
Speaker 5: come out with the right project and we align with

855
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 5: the right people and the industry right now in.

856
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 3: The buying field is so good.

857
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,399
Speaker 6: Old boys, Buddy, Buddy and.

858
00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 3: You and Sophia, we're just on to set together.

859
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, I'm shadowing Debbiel I was shadowing debbiel And and

860
00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,800
Speaker 5: multiple directors over at Grace Super sweet.

861
00:44:19,160 --> 00:44:22,240
Speaker 2: Such a good group too. God, there's just great people

862
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 2: over there.

863
00:44:23,040 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 3: They work like a machine.

864
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 5: I really want to try my my handed directing for

865
00:44:27,920 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 5: you like that. But I'm doing a movie and producing

866
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 5: a movie. I'm in some and yeah, we're constantly Listen,

867
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,360
Speaker 5: we gotta work a mean listen.

868
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:40,759
Speaker 1: I feel that in my bones. I mean it's like

869
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:42,000
Speaker 1: around the clock all the time.

870
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:42,239
Speaker 4: Now.

871
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,399
Speaker 1: What do you do though, when it's just like when

872
00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:46,839
Speaker 1: it's just you two, Like what fills your cup up

873
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:50,359
Speaker 1: these days, especially with like how heavy things are and

874
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 1: how how much you both work and how public you are, Like, what,

875
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 1: what's just for the both of you?

876
00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 3: Massages? We love going, oh massages.

877
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 4: Yes, I honestly just love a slow day with you.

878
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:08,279
Speaker 4: Like this past weekend, we had a few errands to

879
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,160
Speaker 4: run with that we were driving by. We passed a

880
00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:15,319
Speaker 4: little farmer's market and we just spontaneously stopped and popped in,

881
00:45:15,400 --> 00:45:17,560
Speaker 4: and then we ran the rest of our little errands

882
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,480
Speaker 4: and we just hung out at home and the rest

883
00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:24,200
Speaker 4: of the day made some food, talked, watched TV. I

884
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:28,160
Speaker 4: think we got massages like those days where there's just

885
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 4: kind of nothing but us and we can just hang

886
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 4: and talk and reconnect our my faves.

887
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 3: Raven is a painter and I love it.

888
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, she's amazing and she'll sometimes sneak away into

889
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:44,920
Speaker 4: the back house and paint and I love just like

890
00:45:45,239 --> 00:45:48,480
Speaker 4: going back there with her and either watching her work

891
00:45:48,719 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 4: or doing a little something myself.

892
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:55,719
Speaker 2: We will binge a show, though, we like, no matter what.

893
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:57,799
Speaker 6: At eight o'clock, not.

894
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,919
Speaker 5: All phones, but most phones are gone and we are

895
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 5: consuming content YouTube HBO.

896
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 3: Who like we.

897
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 2: It's the latest? What's the latest? We're in two?

898
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 4: Okay, so we finished the Diplomat. We finished Tasks last

899
00:46:14,800 --> 00:46:16,799
Speaker 4: night just for the hell of it. We watched Don't

900
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 4: Say a Word, Call Douglas and Brittany Murphy. That's such

901
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 4: a good movie from two thousand and what it was

902
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:25,040
Speaker 4: thousand and two, which is crazy fantastic.

903
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:27,560
Speaker 3: We're on Searching Sister Wife.

904
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:31,800
Speaker 5: Oh, I finished Pull Dark, but oh we haven't finished Wayward,

905
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 5: but now we're almost done with that.

906
00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, ooh, so you jump around, you don't stay consistent.

907
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,120
Speaker 5: Oh no, we we don't like. I'll binge a show

908
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 5: like I'll wake up at four o'clock in the morning.

909
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:45,440
Speaker 5: And watch the stuff that she doesn't like.

910
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,360
Speaker 4: We watched like, so this is a mixture of reality,

911
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:51,480
Speaker 4: this is a mixture of obviously scripted. Then we'll go

912
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 4: back in the catalog just for fun. But we both,

913
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,479
Speaker 4: like I said earlier, in this conversation, we can talk

914
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 4: about the entertainment industry and movie film and I think

915
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:05,200
Speaker 4: that that's very much me living out my relationship with

916
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:08,479
Speaker 4: my dad because my father was in the industry, and

917
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 4: the majority of my conversation the only thing that I

918
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 4: can connect with him on was.

919
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:17,560
Speaker 3: TV movies and the industry.

920
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 4: So when we get into that loop together, it's great

921
00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:23,920
Speaker 4: because we're like picking things apart. Why did they do that? Oh,

922
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 4: it's so well written. How did they shoot that? Oh

923
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:29,480
Speaker 4: my gosh, well rewind rewatch figure it out the delivery.

924
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:31,759
Speaker 4: It's very rare too that we watch something that we

925
00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 4: get so sucked into that we're not analyzing it and

926
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 4: breaking it down.

927
00:47:35,640 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 1: So what I want to do, by the way, is

928
00:47:37,680 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 1: just end with a few let's end on a light note.

929
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 1: So I'm going to ask just a few fire like

930
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 1: rapid fire things. You can be truthful, you can be light.

931
00:47:49,239 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 1: You can say get the fuck out of he or

932
00:47:51,000 --> 00:47:54,879
Speaker 1: I'm not answering that you're wild, but yeah, and then

933
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 1: we'll end the show on a light note, as we've

934
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: been dropping, you know, dimes on couple's therapy.

935
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,879
Speaker 2: Done all right? Who made the first move?

936
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,120
Speaker 3: You opened a fucking whole bag of wine. I know

937
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 3: this is a We fight about this all the time.

938
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 3: We can't agree, but don't don't. It was me?

939
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,879
Speaker 1: Okay, who's the Who's the one that usually starts the fight?

940
00:48:23,320 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 2: The argument.

941
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:26,880
Speaker 3: Again? Another can of worms?

942
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:32,520
Speaker 5: Because because here's why before she answers, because it's about tone,

943
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:36,360
Speaker 5: and it's about that one little word that switches that

944
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 5: the person who actually starts the fight doesn't know they

945
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,920
Speaker 5: started it, because then you trigger. So I'm a reactor

946
00:48:42,440 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 5: and she is also a reactor.

947
00:48:44,560 --> 00:48:49,280
Speaker 1: It's fifty all right, deal, favorite time to get freaky?

948
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:51,320
Speaker 2: Are you? Sunriser? Nighttime?

949
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 3: Nighttime?

950
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:52,839
Speaker 6: Morning Woo?

951
00:48:53,360 --> 00:48:54,240
Speaker 2: Who's the big spoon?

952
00:48:56,320 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 5: She wants to be so bad? And I hate it

953
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:00,440
Speaker 5: and I let her get it sometimes, but I like anymore.

954
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:01,520
Speaker 2: I love it.

955
00:49:02,120 --> 00:49:05,719
Speaker 1: If your sex life was like a title, like a

956
00:49:05,760 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 1: movie title, what would it be?

957
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:10,440
Speaker 3: This is so fucked up?

958
00:49:10,800 --> 00:49:11,439
Speaker 2: I love it.

959
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:15,640
Speaker 3: I love it so ridiculous. I've never don it Okay

960
00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:18,760
Speaker 3: a movie title. This is fun. Give us a second.

961
00:49:18,960 --> 00:49:20,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, this is this is.

962
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 1: So good.

963
00:49:25,600 --> 00:49:29,480
Speaker 2: The writer of the group. Come on, director, listen, the

964
00:49:29,520 --> 00:49:30,040
Speaker 2: things in my.

965
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 3: Head are ridiculous.

966
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:38,840
Speaker 5: I'm gonna say, do a Nancy Myers movie.

967
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:49,439
Speaker 3: A Nancy Myers movie. It's complicated, great fatal attraction. Don't

968
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 3: say a word.

969
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:55,399
Speaker 1: Like perfect lights on her, off, lights on her, off,

970
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 1: lights on or off off.

971
00:49:57,760 --> 00:50:00,319
Speaker 3: I like it. I like it on Beyonce, Oh my.

972
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,799
Speaker 2: God, Sophia does too. She's like, girl, I'm like, turn

973
00:50:02,840 --> 00:50:04,800
Speaker 2: these fucking lights off, and she's like, I want to

974
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:05,920
Speaker 2: see you.

975
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 3: No, and I don't want her to see me. So

976
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 3: I don't know how to make it work. Okay, yeah,

977
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 3: and I like it dark.

978
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,400
Speaker 4: But if we have to have a light then it

979
00:50:14,480 --> 00:50:17,280
Speaker 4: needs to be like a warm beauty ringe.

980
00:50:18,480 --> 00:50:20,520
Speaker 2: I'm sexy. We're keeping it sexy.

981
00:50:20,719 --> 00:50:21,800
Speaker 3: Yes, okay.

982
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 2: Which queer stereotype? Do you absolutely live up.

983
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 3: To the soft butch I mean the u hauling of

984
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,720
Speaker 3: it all? That's true. We totally did that. We created

985
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 3: we reinvented it on a homely level.

986
00:50:40,040 --> 00:50:43,240
Speaker 2: I love it. Do you have a queer celebrity crush?

987
00:50:44,719 --> 00:50:47,520
Speaker 3: Hmmm? No, I have a straight celebrity.

988
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 2: Oh okay, look that's.

989
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:50,520
Speaker 3: A stereotype of Lizzie.

990
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:52,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, there we go.

991
00:50:52,680 --> 00:50:55,600
Speaker 3: Always loves a straight girl. Yeah, I mean we do.

992
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,759
Speaker 2: Tell me, tell me who, tell me who? Come on,

993
00:50:57,880 --> 00:50:59,240
Speaker 2: drop those those bombs.

994
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 5: Okay, So I can't remember her name, but the younger

995
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:09,000
Speaker 5: sister from the show Vita, which is a great show,

996
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:10,480
Speaker 5: also a queer show.

997
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:12,320
Speaker 6: I think she's canceled though.

998
00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:19,160
Speaker 3: She's gonna be distant. Just tell her, doesn't think, tell

999
00:51:19,160 --> 00:51:20,359
Speaker 3: her the true one. She doesn't.

1000
00:51:20,840 --> 00:51:23,280
Speaker 5: She doesn't have a queer crush on a queer person

1001
00:51:24,239 --> 00:51:24,759
Speaker 5: on a guy.

1002
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 3: Oh well, it's consistent. I think.

1003
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 4: I just think that Charlie Hundham is like just beautiful.

1004
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 4: We saw him in an airport. He made my knee

1005
00:51:37,160 --> 00:51:38,440
Speaker 4: like bend at you.

1006
00:51:38,680 --> 00:51:40,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you were like you get what you got those

1007
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 2: wonky ass knees.

1008
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 3: Yeah he knows, he knows.

1009
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,280
Speaker 4: He looked at me and he winked like he literally

1010
00:51:46,320 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 4: fucking knows the power that he wields.

1011
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 3: And I was just like her guy.

1012
00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 4: But I mean, there's definitely I see the one that

1013
00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,759
Speaker 4: I really want to say that we existed for a

1014
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 4: long time. She's so insane right now, I'm kind of

1015
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:03,279
Speaker 4: like I.

1016
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:07,400
Speaker 3: Just said one that was canceled. Have to match the

1017
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:10,799
Speaker 3: I could do. I could totally do it as like

1018
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:17,000
Speaker 3: bet Porter. That was my I was obsessed with that Porter. Give.

1019
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 4: We just saw her recently in an event. She still

1020
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 4: looks at Revels and she looks like that Porter.

1021
00:52:23,640 --> 00:52:24,239
Speaker 2: I love that.

1022
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 1: If you were trapped on a desert island and you

1023
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:29,440
Speaker 1: can only bring one queer essential.

1024
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 2: What would it be?

1025
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:32,400
Speaker 3: One queer essential?

1026
00:52:33,440 --> 00:52:38,439
Speaker 1: We're talking glitter Lube Indigo Girls soundtrack, like, I don't

1027
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:40,279
Speaker 1: know you you picked hilarious.

1028
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:44,800
Speaker 3: I'm gonna be really honest. I'm bringing sun block. I

1029
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 3: don't know if that's queer or straight. That's that's straight, that's.

1030
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 2: Very that's some straight ship that I love.

1031
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 3: Guys, I have to bring it, okay.

1032
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:54,719
Speaker 2: I would be like chapstick, you know I need.

1033
00:52:55,040 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's weird. I would bring chapstick too. I'm bringing

1034
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:02,520
Speaker 3: my pocket, my pocket pleasure.

1035
00:53:02,920 --> 00:53:06,879
Speaker 5: Hey baybe Gray, No, no, no, no, not that one.

1036
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 2: I love it.

1037
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,920
Speaker 1: Well, listen, you both are a dream. Thank you for

1038
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:13,520
Speaker 1: coming on you, thank.

1039
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,280
Speaker 3: You for having us, and we hope you come on ours.

1040
00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:17,359
Speaker 2: I would love that. I would love that You're never

1041
00:53:17,360 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 2: getting rid of me. This is the way it works.

1042
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:23,359
Speaker 2: We're fast friends. We friends. You haul too, So I'll

1043
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 2: be in LA in two weeks and I'll be hello,

1044
00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 2: she's home.

1045
00:53:30,080 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 3: The top picture here. I hope that you're serious. Hold on,

1046
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:38,360
Speaker 3: I opened it.

1047
00:53:38,719 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 1: I really opened the door there, Up, I.

1048
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 3: Really, I really hope.

1049
00:53:44,560 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 4: I am curious because we need lesbian friend lesbian fri death.

1050
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:54,319
Speaker 2: Listen, I am listen, I am in Well. It's so

1051
00:53:54,360 --> 00:53:55,320
Speaker 2: good to see you both.

1052
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming on Wide Open, and

1053
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:02,759
Speaker 1: thank you for so real and honest and continuing to

1054
00:54:02,800 --> 00:54:05,800
Speaker 1: show up and move the needle in our community. It's

1055
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:09,800
Speaker 1: really beautiful to watch and to see, so thank you both.

1056
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 1: And yeah, everyone, thanks for tuning into Wide Open.

1057
00:54:14,560 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 2: Thank you Raven and Miranda.

1058
00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:20,480
Speaker 1: Thank you for showing us that love can be playful, grounded,

1059
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:23,840
Speaker 1: and deeply spiritual all at once. The kind of love

1060
00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 1: that feels earned, the kind that comes when you've done

1061
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:31,280
Speaker 1: the work and you actually know yourself. What you've built

1062
00:54:31,320 --> 00:54:34,920
Speaker 1: together is proof that timing is everything. That sometimes we

1063
00:54:34,960 --> 00:54:38,480
Speaker 1: don't find love we deserve until we finally are ready

1064
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: to receive it. You've reminded me and everyone listening that

1065
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 1: the most beautiful thing about love isn't in the perfection.

1066
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:52,080
Speaker 1: It's in the choosing, choosing each other, choosing joy, choosing forever,

1067
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 1: even when forever isn't promised. I love you both dearly

1068
00:54:56,080 --> 00:54:58,359
Speaker 1: and thank you for coming on Wide Open. We'll see

1069
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:07,560
Speaker 1: you next week. Wide Open with Ashland Harris is an

1070
00:55:07,640 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 1: iHeart women's sports production. You can find us on the

1071
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:15,480
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

1072
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:21,800
Speaker 1: Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronoff, and Lucy Jones.

1073
00:55:22,080 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 1: Production assistants from Malia Aguidello. Our executive producers are Jesse Katz,

1074
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:32,880
Speaker 1: Jenny Kaplan, and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan

1075
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:42,799
Speaker 1: and Emily Rudder and I'm your host Ashlin Harris