Speaker 1: Forever.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, baby, Oh my god, Marie, when are we
Speaker 2: gonna get a theme song?
Speaker 1: Just imagining we could take dougs. It's so good. Though,
Speaker 1: the other day, I was at a show and I called.
Speaker 1: I was like, I know, I look like a cartoon character.
Speaker 1: I looked like Doug and everybody laughed, and I was like, actually, Skeeter,
Speaker 1: because we all know that was the nigga owned the show.
Speaker 2: Yes, Skeeter, that's what I look like, but you're really
Speaker 2: Roger because you're.
Speaker 1: Remember when you were Roger last year for Halloween. Oh
Speaker 1: that was like epic. I literally I want to let
Speaker 1: y'all know. I walked in to the house and they
Speaker 1: roasted me for two and a half hours, the entire time,
Speaker 1: the whole time, Like even people who were like that
Speaker 1: Nigga's roasting right now. Yeah, the nicest people ever. Sidney
Speaker 1: came in in the ashiest green face. You know what
Speaker 1: for this episode, I think I'm gonna throw that up.
Speaker 1: I'm a TVT Sydney as Roger. She painted herself green
Speaker 1: and put on just the saddest wig and the saddest kiddy.
Speaker 2: And then y'all kept going on Google and searching who
Speaker 2: I look like and you were like, I look like young.
Speaker 1: Yo, and you're like, it's going down. I have the
Speaker 1: video of that, and I cried, so yo, Sidney, you
Speaker 1: looked so wild, and you were like, You're like, well,
Speaker 1: I did this for y'all. You know, when when I
Speaker 1: get out of this costume, I'm still fine, Yeah, y'all
Speaker 1: still won't be ugly. I was like, wow, yo. People
Speaker 1: were walking by me like they didn't even know me,
Speaker 1: and I was just like, excuse me, and they're like, oh, Sydney,
Speaker 1: you don't look like Sidney looked like the jolly green Giant.
Speaker 1: Like she looked like the dude on the can of peas.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I look like the Masks, Kermit the Frog, everything
Speaker 2: with a orange wig. It just was so tragic. But
Speaker 2: I did that for the team.
Speaker 1: You did that for uses.
Speaker 2: No, I did it.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: When I bought that wig, I was like, oh, I'm
Speaker 2: definitely doing this.
Speaker 1: See first of all, when you saw the wig, you
Speaker 1: bought the wag before you bought the pain. Yeah, when
Speaker 1: you bought the way, you didn't think, oh, this is
Speaker 1: not gonna this is not gonna be good at all.
Speaker 2: I was like, Yo, I'm gonna kill this fuck I'm
Speaker 2: gonna be the best dress in that bitch, I said,
Speaker 2: I dare you. I was just like, this is it
Speaker 2: because every Halloween I'm like I want to look hot. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and Halloween is approaching us and I'm just like, oh.
Speaker 1: They already got the Halloween candy out. Yes, yeah, I
Speaker 1: saw it, and I was like, we got a whole
Speaker 1: fucking month. But it's complete.
Speaker 2: It's a completely transformative event for people because some people
Speaker 2: just don't want to be themselves anyway.
Speaker 1: Okay, so we hate you too, m.
Speaker 2: H and and I think that Halloween should be the
Speaker 2: best day to go on a date because it's like yes,
Speaker 2: because it's like, well, this is the person you're not
Speaker 2: gonna get anyway, Like if you go on to if
Speaker 2: you go on a date, you're not getting the real
Speaker 2: them anyway.
Speaker 1: You might get somebody dressed up on a date with
Speaker 1: a man in a costume. That's not what my ministry is.
Speaker 2: What I'm telling you, you should try it.
Speaker 1: I bet you tender hinge. He thought, Oh it's gonna
Speaker 1: be you should try it just this this Halloween. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if I don't have anything else to do on Halloween
Speaker 1: this year, I'll go on a date.
Speaker 2: Sydney on no, no, no, no, or tell the date. Yo,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be at this party.
Speaker 1: Come through. I feel like I don't want to be
Speaker 1: on a first date at a party. Oh well why
Speaker 1: am I?
Speaker 2: Assuming it's the first day. Maybe it'll be a second day. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you never know. I think it's fun. And it's like
Speaker 2: it's like fifty shades of Halloween, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know. Last year was cute. Everybody
Speaker 1: was on like a little bit of Molly on Halloween.
Speaker 1: You know, everybody was fucked up a little bit of Molly.
Speaker 1: This guy, uh thank you. So we were at our
Speaker 1: friend Lisa Treyor's house, yeah, and she was like she
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I paid, I bought a bunch of drowses,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. Everybody like help have a good time.
Speaker 1: And me and Amina were like drugs. What these white
Speaker 1: people talking about? And it was Molly? And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: they giving away Molly. Wow, they doing really well. But
Speaker 1: then the person you were right then, the person that
Speaker 1: we were trying to get this Molly from, was like, uh,
Speaker 1: he was like yeah, so it's gonna be uh however
Speaker 1: much money, it's gonna be eighty or what each and
Speaker 1: we were like each we thought that this was already
Speaker 1: we thought it was open bar his party favors. I
Speaker 1: thought this was in a mouse boosh for the fat what.
Speaker 1: So we were like, ah, neither of us have cash
Speaker 1: on us, and he was like, we'll figure it out,
Speaker 1: and he like, just gave it. It's still on that money.
Speaker 1: It's not coming anyway. So for Halloween this year, which
Speaker 1: would you think it costume wise?
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm doing anything euphoria like, I'm just gonna have like.
Speaker 1: Damn, you are a little with that show.
Speaker 2: I love like Ryan Stones, crazy eyelids, like I just
Speaker 2: want to do I want to be Maddie again.
Speaker 1: It's so hot. Okay, I mean she's the Latin one.
Speaker 1: I only made it to the first episode. So was
Speaker 1: she in the first episode? Yes, she was, Okay, she
Speaker 1: one of the friends. Yes, got it, got it, got it,
Speaker 1: got it? Got it? Cool? Cool cool cool cool yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: yes yes yes. For Halloween once we were each other,
Speaker 1: remember yes, we were were an afro wig and I
Speaker 1: wore a straight bob wig. Yeah. And you're like, so
Speaker 1: I'm gay, Hey, guys, I'm gay And I only did
Speaker 1: a little bit of kenemine today. Sydney was like, look
Speaker 1: at me, I'm buff and it was very aggressive. He
Speaker 1: was mean about it, and I was like, well, I
Speaker 1: didn't know we was roasting each other night. I didn't
Speaker 1: prepare no materiality, No city did not. I was like, yes, no, no.
Speaker 1: I was like, yo, straight up, but do you remember
Speaker 1: that night you was ready? I think you were a
Speaker 1: little mad. I was like, wow, I think you were
Speaker 1: a little Sydney. You caught me off guard the stuff
Speaker 1: that you were saying. I was like saying, wow.
Speaker 2: I was like, look at that white man in them
Speaker 2: dusty ass flip flops.
Speaker 1: I mean that is my brain. But like still, I
Speaker 1: was like I thought we were just, you know, trying
Speaker 1: to be cute and funny about it. But anyway, I
Speaker 1: was white. I was. It was a little a little
Speaker 1: bit hurt ful. Friend, what I shed one Haitian tears?
Speaker 1: Oh that's a lie, said he was on stage, like
Speaker 1: look at me, like I'm drying. I got no job,
Speaker 1: I ain't got no mail. I also don't have no feelings.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I mean you're yo, you are
Speaker 1: acting And I was like something like look at my head.
Speaker 1: I hope I book something you were an actress. I
Speaker 1: never said any of that. You was going, you're a
Speaker 1: god damn lie. It was because I remember after you
Speaker 1: got off stage. I was like why and you were like,
Speaker 1: uh so that's what was the best doing. And I
Speaker 1: was like you, I'm crying my eyes.
Speaker 2: I never said that you have no man, and.
Speaker 1: You were like, look at me. I ain't got no
Speaker 1: man and I ain't got no job. She was like
Speaker 1: Vice Live, and she was like, more like Vice Dad.
Speaker 1: I was like to see she was like, what what
Speaker 1: died faster Ifvice Live top shot? I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: you know, I dare you.
Speaker 2: Okay, so we're doing I don't think So Honey tonight,
Speaker 2: which you know, you guys won't know about until this
Speaker 2: comes out, but this will be a two weeks after.
Speaker 2: But I dare you to say. I don't think so Honey,
Speaker 2: Vice Live.
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna know what that. I can't even you know,
Speaker 1: that's not it. I don't think So Honey is all
Speaker 1: about like the culture, right, the culture doesn't care about
Speaker 1: Vice Live. So you know what, I'm crying my eyes
Speaker 1: out right now.
Speaker 2: Yo, for read the lines that you'd be making up. Nigga,
Speaker 2: you're the unofficial expert of storytelling.
Speaker 1: That's what you do. Oh well, okay, let's talk about this.
Speaker 1: So on Tuesday, I'm supposed to do a storytelling show
Speaker 1: and I don't know what story I should do? What storytelling?
Speaker 2: Joys it at the Jane, it's Michael. What's yes?
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, so you've done the show. Yes, it's cool.
Speaker 1: Do you remember what story you told? Yes?
Speaker 2: I told the story about burning my house down. I
Speaker 2: thought that that was the story that you might have
Speaker 2: told it because he kept saying, like, it doesn't need
Speaker 2: to be funny. Actually I look forward to like it
Speaker 2: not being that funny. And I was like, you know,
Speaker 2: one girl was telling her story about her boyfriend that
Speaker 2: killed himself.
Speaker 1: I was like, man, this is like.
Speaker 2: Heavy shit heavy it is. It was a lot, But
Speaker 2: I mean, sis, you got so many stories.
Speaker 1: I know, But what story am I going to tell?
Speaker 1: That's a ten minute story?
Speaker 2: I think you just tell the story about your that funeral,
Speaker 2: that funeral, the funeral that the one day.
Speaker 1: But that's not a No, that was such a good story.
Speaker 1: Wait wait can you tell them? Tell them the story?
Speaker 1: So my grandma died a couple of years ago. That's
Speaker 1: the story. Sidney's like, please tell them what happened. So
Speaker 1: my my family, you know, they re Haitian, and everyone
Speaker 1: was giving their long ass eulogies or you know whatever,
Speaker 1: reading from Psalms. My dad had a suito with shoulder
Speaker 1: pads when he was like he was killing it. And uh,
Speaker 1: they wheel out a little keyboard and this Haitian guy
Speaker 1: who used to be my cousin's bus driver is performing,
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, they just booked. It's like
Speaker 1: an ever show, right, it's a variety show, right. And
Speaker 1: the guy is standing there and he looks at the
Speaker 1: pianist and he's like minor, like saying played in c
Speaker 1: minor and the dude at the like, what we didn't
Speaker 1: rehearse this? It was like I don't even know you, Carl.
Speaker 1: And so the guy starts singing and he's like at
Speaker 1: a time sweet like he's singing the song and he's
Speaker 1: like whay he like so high. I know it was
Speaker 1: so high and so bad and so shaky. Me my brother,
Speaker 1: my cousin's trying not to laugh out loud behind my
Speaker 1: mom because she's crying. Her mom is dead right. We're
Speaker 1: like we're like minor, minor city that's not a ten
Speaker 1: minute story anyway, this guy saying, uh, and it was terrible,
Speaker 1: but really he bought the family closer together.
Speaker 2: I think because they were laughing. They're coming together through
Speaker 2: like comic relief. He was.
Speaker 1: It was so bad, Like it was like if they
Speaker 1: paid me to if they hired me to sing, if.
Speaker 2: They had hey, hey, hey, don't you put me in there.
Speaker 1: There's terrible sing sing two lines of your favorite song.
Speaker 1: Right now. You think I'm young, but I'm ready. Let's
Speaker 1: get into it. So we went to Miami. We just
Speaker 1: got back.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about the Majammi trip because because the people
Speaker 2: want to know.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, so boom.
Speaker 2: First of all, Amina, Marie and Carolina get to Miami
Speaker 2: before me, because what was I doing working for.
Speaker 1: The man every night and day? So she was a
Speaker 1: coming Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. That's me working
Speaker 1: for the white man. Anyway. So you guys are already
Speaker 1: at the house. And yeah, we got there at like
Speaker 1: three pm.
Speaker 2: Three pm, and we were staying at a friend of
Speaker 2: a friend's.
Speaker 1: Okay, so a friend of a friend's place.
Speaker 2: Wait, hold on, I'm looking at you. I'm looking at myself.
Speaker 1: I'm looking at you and looking at me, and you
Speaker 1: know what to say, knew me reflective. Yes, I got
Speaker 1: a birthday coming out. Yes, I'm looking at that just passed. Okay,
Speaker 1: look it's on the beach. It's right on South Beach.
Speaker 1: We don't have to pay for anything.
Speaker 2: Location. Location Okay, Okay.
Speaker 1: That's all that matters. Real Housewives of Miami. Yes. So
Speaker 1: we get there and it's like a studio. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: we're like, oh, did did did they know it was
Speaker 1: going to be four of us? The answer, well, originally
Speaker 1: it was three of us. Well, I mean we all
Speaker 1: slept in the same yeah, Sydney. So Sydney was like,
Speaker 1: I want to sleep with you guys. Anyway, So the
Speaker 1: apartment was cute. It it's it was small. It was
Speaker 1: like all the hoods not a hood, but like it
Speaker 1: felt very spring break college to me, Like it felt like, oh,
Speaker 1: look how young and poor we all are college.
Speaker 2: If everybody coming out of it was at least thirty five, No,
Speaker 2: I'm who's thirty five?
Speaker 1: Who are talking? I'm talking about the people who are
Speaker 1: coming out of the building. Yeah, there was a bunch
Speaker 1: of like, there was some families in there doing real bad.
Speaker 1: It was like a motel, but like on the beach
Speaker 1: that like people rent when they're in Miami. Right, there
Speaker 1: was a dude that we met because we was doing laundry.
Speaker 1: There was a dude that we met in the laundry
Speaker 1: room who lived there, and we were like, well that's unfortunate.
Speaker 1: We were like poor fortunate souls. Right. So anyway, so
Speaker 1: that happened. But before we get to Miami, Carolina's friends
Speaker 1: in New York had all pulled their money together to
Speaker 1: get her a stripper in Miami. So that was the surprise.
Speaker 1: So you all know her friends are what white, yes, white, yes? Okay,
Speaker 1: So remember that put a pin in that they all
Speaker 1: based alabaster okay, translucent, transparent okay out okay, baking soda,
Speaker 1: baking powder.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: So Amina is corresponding with the friends and the stripper.
Speaker 1: He's supposed to get there at ten forty five. Sydney
Speaker 1: gets in at nine point thirty.
Speaker 2: Or ten o'clock. I feel like like ten to fifteen.
Speaker 2: Sidney got in it like ten fifteen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So Carolina, we like, if we dressed, she's ready
Speaker 1: to go out, right, we're staying in the room waiting.
Speaker 1: We got a s tripper. We got a stripper that's
Speaker 1: being delivered at ten forty five, right. Poison. His name
Speaker 1: was Poison. His name was Poison. Right. So Caroline is like,
Speaker 1: all right, well let's and she's trying to like get
Speaker 1: us to rally and go, but we She's like, look
Speaker 1: at these old ass people that I came to Miami with.
Speaker 2: And you know, I came in there.
Speaker 1: I was washed. No, Sidney came in, she started working
Speaker 1: fresh off the flight, fresh off the flight, but I
Speaker 1: was split in everything on the coffee table.
Speaker 2: Now, I was annoyed. I was ready to go. But
Speaker 2: because I got there and I was like, oh okay,
Speaker 2: so where am I sleeping? I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm too grown for this. But that's fine. Sidney was like,
Speaker 1: so there are no tails nearby city. We could have
Speaker 1: got two double beds. Anyway, Sidney came in hot. She
Speaker 1: she's shading everything. She's talking about the life pictures. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, she's making front of the roaches playing never
Speaker 1: it was flagrant. Anyway, So eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock rolls around,
Speaker 1: No poison, but.
Speaker 2: He's texting AMNA and very loudly no no.
Speaker 1: Then he's calling her. Yeah, he's very obvious, and Amina's like,
Speaker 1: can you please mind you? Okay, So we're in the studio.
Speaker 1: We're all in one room and it's supposed to be
Speaker 1: a surprise and it's a lot going on, and Carolyna
Speaker 1: is like, well, I want to go out, and we're
Speaker 1: like still. Carolina got a smoky eye on, like she's prepared,
Speaker 1: and then he calls Amena and no.
Speaker 2: Amina's like, well, you know, he's in Tampa right now.
Speaker 2: And I was like, but he's really from Philly.
Speaker 1: And said, what person is from Philly, drove all the
Speaker 1: way to Tampa is now coming to Miami.
Speaker 2: They needed money bad. I don't want that kind of stripper.
Speaker 2: No thanks, I don't want to strip it from Philly.
Speaker 2: I feel like Meek it's gonna be he's gonna be
Speaker 2: playing Meek Mill. He's gonna be stripping real hard. He's
Speaker 2: gonna have the eve print titty tattoos like I don't want.
Speaker 2: He's gonna have a duel rag that he flosses his
Speaker 2: butt with. I don't want that type of stripper energy anyway.
Speaker 2: But he says to a Mina.
Speaker 1: I hear I hear him from across the room, say,
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like, can you please check your text messages?
Speaker 1: And he's like, oh, is this a surprise? Yeah? Is
Speaker 1: she there right? New like yeah, and I can hear.
Speaker 2: Him and he's like, well, I don't have my clothes
Speaker 2: on yet.
Speaker 1: I gotta change in there. He's like, we gotta change
Speaker 1: when I get there. Do you not know how stripping works?
Speaker 1: You gotta take your clothes off. Poison sir, you better
Speaker 1: come in with your fucking lab coat, act like you're
Speaker 1: a doctor and whatnot. Aren't you supposed to come in
Speaker 1: and be a cop. Yes, you come in. You're gonna
Speaker 1: come in with your work clothes and put him on
Speaker 1: and then sneak back out. He's gonna be like, excuse me,
Speaker 1: excuse me, don't mind me? Yeah, hey, real quick, don't
Speaker 1: you just to go? You know the video where Lebron
Speaker 1: James is walking out of the press conference with his big.
Speaker 2: Ass duff, That's exactly what this poison guy would have been, right.
Speaker 1: So Amina like gets he I guess he says that
Speaker 1: he's close. He's oh, I think I'll see it. I
Speaker 1: think I see it, And Amina gets up to go
Speaker 1: talk to him in the hallway. When she gets back.
Speaker 1: I think, oh, she's gonna have poison. What she comes in,
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, the music is loud. She turns the
Speaker 1: music down. I'm like, oh, he must have he must
Speaker 1: have his music outside.
Speaker 2: She's like, guys, I gotta I gotta tell you something.
Speaker 2: I gotta say. It's fine.
Speaker 1: She's like I have to. She's like it's starting to
Speaker 1: feel unsafe. Yeah, because it's now it's one o'clock in
Speaker 1: the morning.
Speaker 2: So you know the stripper is black.
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't meet him, so so Caroline, she's like, Carolina,
Speaker 1: we have to tell Carolina. Carolena is like, what what's
Speaker 1: going on? And Amina's like, well, your friends in New
Speaker 1: York hires some stripper for you and we've been waiting
Speaker 1: for since ten forty five.
Speaker 2: And they got him on some website and they didn't
Speaker 2: look at the reviews or nothing.
Speaker 1: Well that was the thing. I mean, it was like.
Speaker 1: So she messaged the people in New York and was like,
Speaker 1: did y'all read the reviews? And they're like no, So
Speaker 1: we read the reviews and they're all bad. People are like,
Speaker 1: don't use this service. We requested two people on the website.
Speaker 1: They sent somebody that was fat and old and toolfless,
Speaker 1: like people were complete, like they were like the god
Speaker 1: was out of breath. His hairline was jagged, like nobody
Speaker 1: was happy. Hey, hey, you pay for me to take
Speaker 1: my clothes up. I don't need to have a hairline
Speaker 1: for that. Yes you do, No you don't.
Speaker 2: I just need to make sure I got the dick
Speaker 2: in tow Okay, if your hairline if I can't try.
Speaker 1: First of all, I don't want to see no Philadelphia,
Speaker 1: Tampa dick. Okay, that dick sounds like it got bumped
Speaker 1: on it. No, that that ud dick do K two sis,
Speaker 1: I don't want that dick anywhere. Dick is desperate, so
Speaker 1: I mean it's like, yeah, don't we We don't want
Speaker 1: you to come anymore. Like she messaged him and he
Speaker 1: never responded, so that means he was nowhere near us.
Speaker 2: He was never there or I was like, oh he's
Speaker 2: setting some ship up.
Speaker 1: Yeah he's her home alone style.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he's gonna come in and shoot this whole
Speaker 2: place up for three hundred dollars.
Speaker 1: I said, wouldn't shoot the strippers. Don't shoot strippers. If anything,
Speaker 1: he was gonna like like choke somebody with a little
Speaker 1: the g string things. Now he's gonna choke people with
Speaker 1: his hand. He was gonna knock us out with that
Speaker 1: little suitcase, that stripper suitcase, that little player's club Bagah.
Speaker 1: So poison didn't come and we spent the rest of
Speaker 1: the evening waiting for him to come in and kill us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and he didn't.
Speaker 2: We were so nervous because I was in the bed
Speaker 2: with Amena and Marine. Now you know, Marie was wanted
Speaker 2: no part Sidney. Sidney was like, can I sleep between
Speaker 2: you guys?
Speaker 1: And you know, I said no as loud as I could,
Speaker 1: But Sidney knows into me, and she just kept Sydney
Speaker 1: sleeps wild. I feel like she every time I woke up,
Speaker 1: she was like her face was on my pillow, next
Speaker 1: to my face. I was like you, I kept pushing
Speaker 1: you don't I don't remember that, kept sliding you to
Speaker 1: the left. You said, you.
Speaker 2: Did an impersonation of me sleeping in the bed, and
Speaker 2: it was a lot of like me flopping like a
Speaker 2: dead fish outside of a like a fish bowl.
Speaker 1: It was a lot of like her just throwing her
Speaker 1: arm across my body and then my face. But Amina
Speaker 1: was untouched. And I complained about it and then the
Speaker 1: next day Sidney flailed on a mina, So God is good.
Speaker 2: Well, the thing is is that I'm fighting cuddling. That's
Speaker 2: what it is, because I.
Speaker 1: Just wanted fighting cuddler.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I want to I am a cuddler.
Speaker 1: You know who else is a cuddler? Carolina, who was
Speaker 1: across bed from us.
Speaker 2: No, she's actually not a color because I'm currently sleeping
Speaker 2: with Carolina.
Speaker 1: Carolina and Sydney are banging.
Speaker 2: We are an item, and I just want to say that, uh,
Speaker 2: that pumkash.
Speaker 1: Moist perl, that boom, that pork shoulder, slow cooked, yes,
Speaker 1: slow cooked, coach falls right off the pot. Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: Fallopian tubes tender. Yeah, what's your marrinate these flopian tubes?
Speaker 1: Cervix is to listen stopping Sidney's gross anyway, So Sydney
Speaker 1: and Caroline are not sleeping together, but tell people what
Speaker 1: happens this A lot has happened since we've been.
Speaker 2: Back, moved out of the apartment, and I have my
Speaker 2: own apartment.
Speaker 1: In Brownsville. So well, I mean, that's not that you
Speaker 1: should have just said East New York. You should have
Speaker 1: just said.
Speaker 2: In I used to say East New York and then
Speaker 2: someone asked the specific address, and then they were like,
Speaker 2: do you know you're in Brownsville?
Speaker 1: At least don't say Brownsville. I mean, East New York
Speaker 1: is bad enough, but Brownsville I feel like it's worse.
Speaker 1: They were like, did you do you know that you're
Speaker 1: stop telling people? Just say where you say I live
Speaker 1: in the city.
Speaker 2: Where do you live in the city. I literally didn't
Speaker 2: know that it was Brownsville.
Speaker 1: Stop Sayingville. And so when they were.
Speaker 2: Like wait, I was like, no, it's not And then
Speaker 2: they pulled out the map and was very.
Speaker 1: Disrespectful about it.
Speaker 2: Was like, no, no, look at this. This is you
Speaker 2: see where that sat.
Speaker 1: Like when you cross Broadway that is no longer. Wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so moved out.
Speaker 1: I have a roommate. Now. You know things are different.
Speaker 1: Uh you want to tell people why or how come
Speaker 1: or how you feel about it?
Speaker 2: You know, just just making some changes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, making your way downtown. You're walking fast, I mean
Speaker 1: you're walking slow. I'm walking real slow.
Speaker 2: But yeah, you know. My shout out to my girls
Speaker 2: Amena and Carolina coming through and helping me move as
Speaker 2: an adult. If you don't know, if you have things
Speaker 2: of value, just you know, move somewhere.
Speaker 1: What did I have?
Speaker 2: Lots of garbage bags of things and nothing of value.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, what do I think? What do
Speaker 1: you think is your most expensive asset right now? Which
Speaker 1: is worth the most? That you got the tits that
Speaker 1: are on my chest? Okay? And then my job laptop,
Speaker 1: your work laptops. But you got to return that. I
Speaker 1: have to. But if I lose it, I gotta pay
Speaker 1: for it. I mean, obviously this is your responsibility.
Speaker 2: Right and then and then I say my phone maybe expensive? Yeah,
Speaker 2: I actually do have my own personal laptop. So yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: but what year is?
Speaker 1: You know what model is? It's an Air. It's an Air.
Speaker 1: It's an Air. It's a MacBook Air. Okay, the new
Speaker 1: model is the is it the smoke? Is it the smoke?
Speaker 1: The smoke gray? Well minus from February, so I know
Speaker 1: that mine is okay, or mine is from March whatever?
Speaker 1: Vice was one? Okay, So Carolina and Amina helped you move.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so it was a little awkward because, uh,
Speaker 2: you know, some people had unresolved issues. So faguness is
Speaker 2: so cute. Yeah, I just can't trying to keep it
Speaker 2: very profresh on the pod now. But anyway, I will
Speaker 2: say this, Uh it was a scene V Yeah, it
Speaker 2: was a scene leaving. You know, all my bags are outside,
Speaker 2: and so this is my neighbors are never around, all
Speaker 2: of them around when I'm moving out, and so they
Speaker 2: just looking like, oh okay, there's like suitcases, a lot
Speaker 2: of garbage bags.
Speaker 1: I feel like the suitcases that you had was like
Speaker 1: not the ones that roll, but I feel you had
Speaker 1: them old school suitcases that you gotta like like zip
Speaker 1: and then hold up.
Speaker 2: No, I didn't have a street car the name design
Speaker 2: for suitcase.
Speaker 1: I feel you had to stick with a red band
Speaker 1: down that I'm not a runaway. That's fucking rude.
Speaker 2: But yeah, all my neighbors are going in and out
Speaker 2: of the building, in and out, and they're just looking
Speaker 2: like oh okay, hey, like just like that weird like okay.
Speaker 2: And then you know, Carolina and Adrian, I mean Carolena
Speaker 2: and I mean are trying to help me. And then
Speaker 2: the SVS the U pulls up because I had to
Speaker 2: get an extra extra large you know, I could just
Speaker 2: and Carolina's dumb ass tells the guy, Oh, yeah, we
Speaker 2: have a lot of stuff, so you got to move
Speaker 2: back so we can move it on and he said okay,
Speaker 2: and then he's like, yeah, I'm I'm gonna pull it
Speaker 2: back around and he canceled the ride.
Speaker 1: Yo, Kvalina is clean of the damn. I'm telling you, Wow,
Speaker 1: she's like the sweetest person.
Speaker 2: Fall.
Speaker 1: I was just telling him that we got a lot
Speaker 1: of stuff, but I'm like, no, you can't tell uber drivers.
Speaker 1: Anytime I've ever moved something in an uber X, it
Speaker 1: was always like that's like a like an ambush, Like
Speaker 1: they pull up and I'm like, uh, can you pop
Speaker 1: the trunk? And he's like what why? And I'm like
Speaker 1: this big ass area rug or this queen size bed
Speaker 1: or this floor length mirror, like what yeah, So he canceled.
Speaker 1: He canceled.
Speaker 2: So then another one came and it was an Asian dude,
Speaker 2: and Amina was flirting with him the whole time.
Speaker 1: He was cute.
Speaker 2: He was cute. He's like very like muscular tall.
Speaker 1: Did with the bags, he.
Speaker 2: Was looking like, I don't know if I if I
Speaker 2: touched the garbage bag in my rip.
Speaker 1: He said, I'm not really insured. Yea, my back is bad.
Speaker 2: He didn't want to rip the bag and then all
Speaker 2: my things fall out like he was.
Speaker 1: Trying to be he's being a general helping Yeah. I mean, truly,
Speaker 1: it's better when you just watch it play out right now.
Speaker 1: He was setting the tone, the mood when.
Speaker 2: You yeah and then uh and then everything's in and
Speaker 2: then I get in the car and like, I mean,
Speaker 2: it's like.
Speaker 1: Girl, you know, he got two kids.
Speaker 2: He married I just just in case you was trying
Speaker 2: to figure out, you know, I'm trying to get his
Speaker 2: life together.
Speaker 1: And I was like, what who is the driver?
Speaker 2: Amina is telling me about the driver because she had
Speaker 2: already talked him up. And I was like, Sis, why
Speaker 2: are you gonna bring my rating down to like a one?
Speaker 1: What's going on?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 1: Why does she think you care that the driver got
Speaker 1: two kids?
Speaker 2: She was just trying to flirt with him. I was like, girl,
Speaker 2: what are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: These single moms man out day out here, day out here.
Speaker 1: They're trying to get that little Brady Bunch family that
Speaker 1: blended Brady Bunch.
Speaker 2: No thank you, no thanks. So I have a I
Speaker 2: have an apartment. You know, I haven't fully moved in
Speaker 2: because I have no things.
Speaker 1: Okay, well let's tell the listeners what you need to
Speaker 1: the list of things that you should have hold on.
Speaker 1: I got a little little note over here. One second. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I was gonna just shout things out and then you're
Speaker 1: gonna say whether you had them or not.
Speaker 2: Oh no, bitch, we don't play those games. I don't
Speaker 2: want nobody sending things that I don't need a.
Speaker 1: Bed I was gonna say, I was gonna say a bed.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say a blender, a toaster. Oh no, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: Let's start to like importance to like, oh, yeah, that's
Speaker 2: cool if you.
Speaker 1: Gave that to me, a blended. I need a bed
Speaker 1: with a headboard.
Speaker 2: I need a frame, headboard, I need everything, because I
Speaker 2: don't have none of that.
Speaker 1: What size bed, let's go through the wish list. What
Speaker 1: size bed we're looking for?
Speaker 2: A queen would be nice, but honestly, it's only enough
Speaker 2: room for a full but like he.
Speaker 1: Does not here now there a queen with like a platform,
Speaker 1: queen a queen?
Speaker 3: Have you gotten the ads for the mattress? Like the
Speaker 3: have you guys gotten a mattress? No mattress giving away treatment?
Speaker 1: Okay, what kind of mattresses they got? Casper's it. It's
Speaker 1: not Casper mattress in a box or something like that. Board.
Speaker 3: No, not roomen Board. Maybe we need to reach out.
Speaker 1: We're probably gonna get it after but it's fine because
Speaker 1: my match I got my mattress for free too. We
Speaker 1: already talked about this, so maybe I should do that.
Speaker 1: Ben in a Box Sydney already told you how to
Speaker 1: get a bed a free bed. Yeah, it through. You
Speaker 1: gotta order. You gotta order your bed in a box
Speaker 1: from Amazon, Like find the brand that you want. They have, Casper,
Speaker 1: they have everything. You order it on Amazon, and then
Speaker 1: after you order it, sleep on it for like a week,
Speaker 1: and then tell Amazon you no longer want it, and
Speaker 1: they will not come pick the bed up, but they
Speaker 1: will give you a full refund.
Speaker 3: That's insane.
Speaker 1: That's how I got my bed. And then they're like
Speaker 1: I'm like, well what I'm what am I supposed to
Speaker 1: do with this bed? And they were like, you can
Speaker 1: donate it. Maybe Salvation Army or a church might take it.
Speaker 2: That's with the Marie Foston luck me, someone would fucking
Speaker 2: do that.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden they're like, yeah, we
Speaker 1: gonna come pick it up, and like, no, actually, it's
Speaker 1: it's very certain, like Casper will come pick it up,
Speaker 1: but Amazon, if you order it like something not a casper,
Speaker 1: but like something adjacent to that. They're not Amazon is
Speaker 1: not sending somebody to come pick the bet up because
Speaker 1: it's not gonna fit in the box again, right right,
Speaker 1: it popped out.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I don't have a bed or a head
Speaker 2: frame or a headboard or whatever you call it.
Speaker 1: I need a little dresser dresser. Okay, we're thinking like
Speaker 1: a long ways or like a.
Speaker 2: Short stack like yeah, short stacked, like four or five,
Speaker 2: four or five.
Speaker 1: The class is not that big. Okay, you need a rug.
Speaker 2: Somebody's donating some hangers to.
Speaker 1: Me, donating some hangers.
Speaker 2: Yeah, listen, this is all like hands on this.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, it takes a village. And second
Speaker 2: of all, this was like all of a sudden. It
Speaker 2: was very abrupt, because you know, you're Rosie rational and
Speaker 2: it's just like, you know, what fuck that, I'm out,
Speaker 2: and you know, I didn't really think about it too well,
Speaker 2: and that's how it goes.
Speaker 1: That's I am with me. I'm one of those people
Speaker 1: that's just like spontaneous, are you? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely, you think every time I did ketemine I
Speaker 2: planned it out?
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. I do think you planned to do no no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: you love like, oh, I'm not gonna do some ca
Speaker 1: o no no, no.
Speaker 2: I left my house thought it was just gonna be
Speaker 2: a little cute night, have a couple of vodka.
Speaker 1: Sodas, several vodkas. All of a sudden, what is there
Speaker 1: a butt bug in my in my purse? Like butt
Speaker 1: plug things? You found a stray butt plugging your berths?
Speaker 1: One of those nights in a clutch, one of those nights. No, oh,
Speaker 1: you know my sister is working at the Playboy Club. Now, yes, yes, bartending,
Speaker 1: look at that. We should go visit her buffets. Let's
Speaker 1: do it, She says. She's been yelling at people for
Speaker 1: the whole week. Really, everybody loves her and asks her
Speaker 1: for fitness advice. And then she already she was like,
Speaker 1: already have regulars. I was like, shut up. I remember
Speaker 1: when I was a bartender, I didn't have no regulars. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it happens. I mean I also got fired pretty fast,
Speaker 1: so that's why I didn't have no regulars.
Speaker 2: Yeah, speaking of fire, you know we out here looking
Speaker 2: for employment.
Speaker 1: Okay, so you you went to La for Alec Baldwin's roast.
Speaker 1: We didn't even talk about that oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: talk about it.
Speaker 2: I mean it's just you know, when you get fluid
Speaker 2: out were a corporate card, Yo.
Speaker 1: They take care of you. Man, They did put you
Speaker 1: in business. Yo. It was count of me. It was
Speaker 1: fucking nice, Yo.
Speaker 2: It was just I was not used to nothing because
Speaker 2: I'm looking around, like I got to keep these salt.
Speaker 1: The water's different over here. The water's different in Delta.
Speaker 2: It's like it's the same fucking flight you've taken there.
Speaker 1: That's toilet water CYS Delta. Yeah, they scoop it right
Speaker 1: out the little that little blue thing. Yo. The hotel
Speaker 1: was so nice. I'm so glad. I brought my vibrator.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, baby, yo, a vibrator. We're talking about that housekeeper.
Speaker 2: I left her about fiddy hours.
Speaker 1: I was like, she's gonna have to clean some stuff.
Speaker 1: It was dripping from the ceilings.
Speaker 2: It was like, you know, clean up on our seven,
Speaker 2: clean up on our seven target target shoppers, clean up
Speaker 2: on our seven.
Speaker 1: Dripping drip drip, Yeah, came to dripping.
Speaker 2: Honestly, I don't understand anybody who would come to a
Speaker 2: hotel room and not at least bust a nut at least.
Speaker 1: Once well, the room that you were in was kind
Speaker 1: of sexy. It was so sex it was like a
Speaker 1: glass wall between them and you could show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you could literally. It was like, yo, I wanted
Speaker 2: to give my room to somebody who was fucking yeah.
Speaker 2: So then they gave that. Yeah, you know, I was
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be doing that, but it was it was cute.
Speaker 1: That's nice. And then there was a tub.
Speaker 2: I had a tub, and I flooded the bathroom because
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not I can't have nice things.
Speaker 1: You fled the bathroom because you poop. I'm sorry, how
Speaker 1: did you poop in the tub? How do you flood
Speaker 1: a bathroom in a hotel?
Speaker 2: Well, they had the shower head that's like on top
Speaker 2: of the tub, it comes down the shower head. That's
Speaker 2: not for black women.
Speaker 1: The rain style. Yeah, y'all need to cut that shit out.
Speaker 1: No honestly says it's for me. Now, I got a
Speaker 1: shower in those things, and I'm like, look at me.
Speaker 1: I used to shower my head at an acute angle,
Speaker 1: so like my hair wouldn't get wet because I wasn't
Speaker 1: working a shower cap. But now flourishing it's unacceptable. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Rainforest cafe style shower.
Speaker 2: Yes, and then and then there's like, uh, a shower
Speaker 2: head that's on the on the side. So I turned
Speaker 2: the knob and like the rainforest thing is on and
Speaker 2: the shower head is at the same time. So I'm
Speaker 2: thinking there's a drain in the floor. I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: this shower hairt is one and this water is coming out.
Speaker 2: But like, there's gotta be some holes for this water.
Speaker 1: Did you see holes? O? Baby? It sounds like a
Speaker 1: hard note.
Speaker 2: Honey that that floor was flooded like some denims like
Speaker 2: it was.
Speaker 1: It was so high up that I was like, how
Speaker 1: did this happen to me? Were you in the top? Wait?
Speaker 2: No? I went in the living room and I was
Speaker 2: on FaceTime talking shit, and then I came back and
Speaker 2: I was like, uh, there's.
Speaker 1: No Well did you put your car down for incidentals? No?
Speaker 1: I did. It was three hundred dollars, you know.
Speaker 2: When I was at the front and I was like, yo,
Speaker 2: when am I getting this money back?
Speaker 1: They were like, well, it's just a hold in case you.
Speaker 1: I said, Uh, the way Venmo debit work, the way
Speaker 1: it's set up, it take that it It basically take
Speaker 1: the money out and then they put it back in
Speaker 1: when when y'all release okay, and they were they were
Speaker 1: at the front desk Vinmo credit what they were like,
Speaker 1: being very loud about it.
Speaker 2: How tell were you the s ls OH Room one
Speaker 2: twelve where the plays dwells.
Speaker 1: Well, the players dwell Yeah, Peaches and Cream, I hear it.
Speaker 1: I love this, And then Alec Baldwin threw some shade
Speaker 1: at you. He did, But it was in the contract
Speaker 1: that I had to be nice, like I could not.
Speaker 1: Like before, I was pitching a whole bunch of stuff
Speaker 1: to do on the Red Carpet and they were like, yeah,
Speaker 1: this feels too roasty. Yeah, this feels like you're not
Speaker 1: gonna be nice. Yeah, yeah, like you have to. And
Speaker 1: I was just they really like Ti hands And I
Speaker 1: was like, do you listen to the podcast and they
Speaker 1: were like, no, no, that's hilarious, honey, because they do.
Speaker 2: He can you Colly Central y'all doing? Who doesn't listen
Speaker 2: to the pod? Hello, goodbye, good night. So yeah, I
Speaker 2: had to be nice because they were going to be
Speaker 2: roasting in the real show, so the so the Red
Speaker 2: Carpet had to be like a friendly, non hostile environment.
Speaker 3: I thought that was a great idea. When I saw that,
Speaker 3: I was like, that's so fun You didn't like it?
Speaker 3: The just being nice to Alec Baldwin before he goes
Speaker 3: in there.
Speaker 2: I thought that was so good to be nice to
Speaker 2: a straight white man on TV old. It's just it
Speaker 2: is so wrong. It's just it shouldn't be a Oh
Speaker 2: it was problematic.
Speaker 1: You had to pray on it. Talk to my lawyer
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, after her, I really have
Speaker 2: to post this. I don't want anybody to see this.
Speaker 2: But I did, and everybody loved it. They thought it
Speaker 2: was funny. But he commented on my forehead. He said
Speaker 2: that I have a magnificent forehead, which is like the
Speaker 2: shadiest thing that you could do as like an old
Speaker 2: white man.
Speaker 1: What that's not the shadiest thing you do as an
Speaker 1: old white man.
Speaker 2: Yesterday, because like old rich white people will point out
Speaker 2: something and they'll be nice about it, but they're really saying.
Speaker 1: Oh, look at those common sneakers that you have on
Speaker 1: those are quite fine. Oh those are kids, Ah, quite nice. No,
Speaker 1: Sydney poor people throw shade too, don't do that. Poor
Speaker 1: black people do that. Yeah, you're right, medium wealth Asian
Speaker 1: folks do it. Everybody's doing shade. It's not an old.
Speaker 2: Way guy thing honestly says today, I'm tired, like I've
Speaker 2: been through a lot this week, so I can really
Speaker 2: just can't bring it today on the pod. I'm gearing
Speaker 2: up for the next episode.
Speaker 1: We got another. It's gonna get hot, you know, next episode.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel great. Thank you so much for asking.
Speaker 1: I just saw. Okay, so I've been seeing apartments for
Speaker 1: the last month, Marie.
Speaker 2: You're doing such a great job. I'm proud of you
Speaker 2: for looking for an apartment so I'm not homeless next month. Yeah,
Speaker 2: thank you for being proud.
Speaker 1: I'm so proud. I mean, there's only ten days, less
Speaker 1: than ten days left of the of the month, and
Speaker 1: I am cutely just cute and homeless. So we'll see
Speaker 1: what happens. But it's nice. It's a nice place. I
Speaker 1: saw an apartment the other day, two days ago that
Speaker 1: was so small, that was so small that when I
Speaker 1: opened the door to the bedroom, it didn't open all
Speaker 1: the way and it was just a twin sized bed
Speaker 1: in the room.
Speaker 2: New York, y'all gotta go, like the all of New
Speaker 2: York and the real estate and what y'all think is appropriate. Bitch,
Speaker 2: you have nerve taking me to this hole in the
Speaker 2: fucking wall. Yeah, a mouse lives here. This is a mousehouse.
Speaker 2: This a mousehouse exactly. Minnie and Mickey the dog. The
Speaker 2: dog don't even fit in the house. That's how little
Speaker 2: fucking Alice in Wonderland sis. I was like, this is
Speaker 2: gross Alice in Wonderland for a clueless like homes in
Speaker 2: the Beverly Hills prices.
Speaker 1: It was crazy, It's stupid, and I was so disappointed
Speaker 1: because it was such a good block. It's like a
Speaker 1: Brownstone Lion Street in Bedsty, really long windows, and you
Speaker 1: walk in and you're like, oh, this is gonna be cute.
Speaker 1: This is gonna be like the House and Sex and
Speaker 1: the City that big ball for carry No. I was like,
Speaker 1: the whole thing was the size of the studio tragic.
Speaker 1: I was like, uh, okay, let's talk about real tragedy. Okay,
Speaker 1: let's talk about it. So you know, I'm unemployed, but
Speaker 1: i'd be booking things, and I booked thing and when
Speaker 1: I got there. Before I got there, they were like,
Speaker 1: we have hair and makeup showing up at this time,
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't have any hair. I
Speaker 1: don't need hair there, and they're like, oh, we're gonna
Speaker 1: put you in some wigs cis. And I was like,
Speaker 1: already knew it was going.
Speaker 2: To be bad, problematic, racist and homophobe, and.
Speaker 1: I should have bought one of my old wigs, but
Speaker 1: I didn't. You were unprepared, unprepared. You you put your
Speaker 1: trust in the white lord and in blue eyed blonde
Speaker 1: hair Jesus, and this is what happened. So I get
Speaker 1: there and it's two white women and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: it don't matter who's hair and who's makeup, this is
Speaker 1: gonna be trash. I can already tell feel it. Okay,
Speaker 1: I felt it in my uterus. And they didn't have
Speaker 1: no mirror set up, Like how are you doing hair
Speaker 1: and makeup? And you don't have mirror with the lights
Speaker 1: on it, like we we're just doing this. But I'm
Speaker 1: so disappointed. They made me look so dry. Okay, let
Speaker 1: me see the pictures because okay, well the first thing,
Speaker 1: the wig was a straight wig with she didn't pluck
Speaker 1: the part, she didn't put no conceal it in the part.
Speaker 1: I was like, what shelf was the wig on? Was
Speaker 1: it on the first shelf? Or the middle shelf. I
Speaker 1: think she got this wig at like a white people wig.
Speaker 2: Place, oh for the for the like locks for love.
Speaker 1: I think it was like a king Kim Zosiak, like
Speaker 1: like you know where people who got like alopecia. Is
Speaker 1: that what it is? Whatever? It was just like it
Speaker 1: was like you know, Jewish women gotta wear wigs when
Speaker 1: they get married, but no, but their wigs be looking good.
Speaker 1: It didn't look like anyway. I was like, this is
Speaker 1: this a synthetic human blend?
Speaker 2: It was bad, friend. I'm surprised you let them do that.
Speaker 2: That doesn't even sound like you.
Speaker 1: Well, I was like, my contract said I I don't
Speaker 1: have to you know what, let's not even bring out
Speaker 1: to talk about it. But okay, wait and then don't
Speaker 1: scroll because I tell you what happened after that. So
Speaker 1: I looked like the chick from chewing gum. Oh my
Speaker 1: when she put yeah, it was so bad and my
Speaker 1: head was hot. So I took the wig off and
Speaker 1: she comes running over and she's like, yeah, please, don't
Speaker 1: don't take it, like, don't take it off, like I
Speaker 1: have to do it. This looks like when I was
Speaker 1: going through a relapse. Oh my god, please give me
Speaker 1: my you look like me, give me my phone back.
Speaker 1: This is when you try to kiss your door. This
Speaker 1: is what you look like. Oh bitch, rude. Okay, So
Speaker 1: then so we shot two videos with that wig, then
Speaker 1: we have to shoot more. There was like, there's another wig.
Speaker 1: It's blonde. I see her curling it. No, it looked
Speaker 1: like it looked like a Shirley Temple umbrae whire hangers.
Speaker 1: There's no part in the wig, so it's just like
Speaker 1: a free form just whatever. So already bangs. No, it
Speaker 1: was probably supposed to have bangs, but there was no part.
Speaker 1: Let me see. Oh I don't have any pictures of
Speaker 1: that week. No, no photo that week because what happened
Speaker 1: is they put me in a teal eyeshadow.
Speaker 2: Wait, so you don't have pictures of the eyeshadow or nothing?
Speaker 1: Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. They put me
Speaker 1: in a teal eyeshadow that I actually liked. But she
Speaker 1: didn't put no liner on me. She didn't put no lashes,
Speaker 1: she just put she she didn't. It was bad. And
Speaker 1: then they put the wig on top of my head
Speaker 1: and I was like, there's no way, there's no way
Speaker 1: a nice I would have texted my lawyer media. First
Speaker 1: of all, I'm not posting any of this. Second of all,
Speaker 1: how dare they Well, let's the cow there. The dag
Speaker 1: is okay, you know what, Wait, hold on, wait, let
Speaker 1: me see, let me see. Okay. So they put the
Speaker 1: wig on me. And by the way that the clients
Speaker 1: were looking and you know they're not from America. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they swallowed. They were like, and I was like, I
Speaker 1: need to see a mirror right now, just right now,
Speaker 1: and they were like, everyone's scurrying, they're trying to find
Speaker 1: a mirror. The mega artist gives me this little mirror
Speaker 1: on like the front of her palace. No, I look
Speaker 1: at the little said I'm not wearing wig, and I snatched.
Speaker 1: I didn't. I snatched it right off. And the client
Speaker 1: was like, yeah, it was it was too much, you
Speaker 1: know yah, you know this is this ship that we
Speaker 1: go through though. This is the bullshit that it's like.
Speaker 2: First of all, it's clear that y'all you have never
Speaker 2: touched a brown person's face.
Speaker 1: But like it was so bad and I look ashy
Speaker 1: and I look wild, and they didn't put anything on
Speaker 1: my friends girlfriends. You should sue them. Well, girl, you
Speaker 1: know the gag is. I haven't signed my contract yet
Speaker 1: for the work that that was rendered, so I need,
Speaker 1: you know, them to figure this out. It's like, wait,
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? This is straight up wrong girl.
Speaker 1: It was so she didn't blend it, she didn't do
Speaker 1: but the way, what the fuck? But they were giving
Speaker 1: each other like tip some tricks and pointers, and she's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know the body brown is better coverage. And I
Speaker 1: was like yelling, got no, did you? I said, yell?
Speaker 1: And I like, I said yelling, got no? Finty back then,
Speaker 1: this is not my friend. I don't know this woman.
Speaker 1: I don't know him. I don't know that man. If
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell you if if I see him in
Speaker 1: the street, girl, I don't even I don't know this man,
Speaker 1: don't walk. I'm sorry for him. Sorry, sorry, sorry to
Speaker 1: this man. Yo. They sorry to this man. They put
Speaker 1: they okay, imagine that with a blond janis Combe's imagine
Speaker 1: the Britney Spears extensions. Since we have to sue girl,
Speaker 1: you you.
Speaker 2: Need to send that in the email and say, hey, guys,
Speaker 2: just want to let you know what I look like.
Speaker 1: Girl, but look at my face dry like you don't
Speaker 1: like you don't drink water. You drink drink exclusively. It's
Speaker 1: like whatever makeup they use sucked the ball, the moisture
Speaker 1: they didn't. They were it was like a spot. It
Speaker 1: was like they were just putting little pieces of makeup on,
Speaker 1: like you know when you have a pimple, you put
Speaker 1: a little toothpaste on just the pimple. That's how the
Speaker 1: lady applied.
Speaker 2: My makeup for I think that should be your I
Speaker 2: don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: White women that can't do makeup, yes, I mean I
Speaker 1: think I think that they all think that they know
Speaker 1: what they're doing. Because the way that these women were
Speaker 1: talking while they were doing my face, I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you would think that they're creating a masterpiece. And then
Speaker 1: that Andrew you went a weigh in on this, You
Speaker 1: want to.
Speaker 3: Know, it's absolutely crazy. I do think that you should
Speaker 3: do as a year. I don't think so, honey. I
Speaker 3: feel like there's a lot more than just one minute though.
Speaker 1: For that, Oh, I could talk about it for three years.
Speaker 1: Just like to be a black makeup artist or a
Speaker 1: black hairdresser, you have to know how to do everybody's
Speaker 1: hair because they don't want you to just be out
Speaker 1: here doing braids on Bo Derek, braids on white women.
Speaker 1: But to be a white makeup artist or a white
Speaker 1: hair person, you only need to be able to do
Speaker 1: white people.
Speaker 2: I don't think that person knows how to do anybody's makeup,
Speaker 2: to be honest, there's no technique. I don't know what
Speaker 2: the fingers, like, what brush did she is not? None
Speaker 2: of the brushes were proper. They weren't using real hair.
Speaker 1: She had a whole kit, a synthetic years. There's too
Speaker 1: brush nor fivers. They used toothbrush fibers. Turn it on
Speaker 1: that shot. Everything was recycled, uh, paint brush fibers. It was.
Speaker 1: I was like, and then they were taking pictures of
Speaker 1: me while I was on set, and I was like,
Speaker 1: is this for your portfolio? Like? Where where are you
Speaker 1: going with these images? Did you? Did you tell them
Speaker 1: to drop it to you? Air drop it? No? But
Speaker 1: one of them. Okay, So the makeup artist tagged she
Speaker 1: posted some of the phone bitch, let me see. I
Speaker 1: removed the tags. Okay, but can we I'm not following
Speaker 1: her sist, so I can't. I don't even know. Like
Speaker 1: what I should have done is been like you need
Speaker 1: to take these down. But I don't even know what
Speaker 1: her I don't know. I didn't. I didn't follow her.
Speaker 1: I didn't I remove the tags. I just was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, let me this is. You know, that's
Speaker 1: all the money she's gonna make for the years. She
Speaker 1: never gonna work again, not in this town. But that's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Marie, you should definitely get her, like
Speaker 1: I would be.
Speaker 2: Like, I need her name and her information, and this
Speaker 2: person should never work nowhere near me.
Speaker 1: The wig looked like that, but like big girls, like
Speaker 1: that's the color the wig.
Speaker 2: Was, Marie, like a clown, like a clown.
Speaker 1: But I think what happened is they went to my
Speaker 1: Instagram and they're like, oh, the last time she had hair,
Speaker 1: it was a blonde home bread which is blended though, right,
Speaker 1: but it's also not a wig, so you just think that, right. So,
Speaker 1: but that was the last hairstyle that I had before.
Speaker 1: This is such a good picture of us, I know.
Speaker 1: Should we get this blown up? Yeah? And they I'll
Speaker 1: hang it over my bed in my new apartment. Should
Speaker 1: we do that? That'd be nice, Marie? Should I? Yes,
Speaker 1: you put this on your wish list. You need a
Speaker 1: big photo of us for your new apartment. Why do
Speaker 1: you make that? I don't know she forgot. I'm getting sad.
Speaker 1: Sorry girl. Anyway, that's that's what's happened in the last week. Also,
Speaker 1: when we were on the plane flying back from Miami. Oh,
Speaker 1: let's talk about this baby, Sydney, Amina and I were
Speaker 1: all on the same flight and then Carolina called a
Speaker 1: flight look wardio because she does, and so the Amina
Speaker 1: moved up to sit with us, and you know, like
Speaker 1: I stood up and like we were like moving things around.
Speaker 1: And then the flight attendant comes over and she's like, sir,
Speaker 1: loud the way you couldn't hear.
Speaker 2: The stewardess at all throughout the whole thing.
Speaker 1: She all of a sudden she gets to Marie and
Speaker 1: sir shining, shouting, yelling that the volume that we're talking about,
Speaker 1: it was crazy. Everyone heard. Every one heard the sir
Speaker 1: heard around the world. Yeah, she said, sir, but it
Speaker 1: was me that I rang. I rang that. She didn't
Speaker 1: even look at Amina or me. She looked directly at
Speaker 1: Marie and was like, sir, sir, you rang the And
Speaker 1: I was like, I was like, who is she talking to?
Speaker 1: Like it took me so she said so twice no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: so then she comes back.
Speaker 2: She leaves and then she comes back. I don't know
Speaker 2: twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: It was like ten minutes later. In here she was like, sir,
Speaker 1: a snack for you, sir, any snacks, shouting about these
Speaker 1: damn pretzels, sir. And there and then Amina was like,
Speaker 1: it's a she. It's a sheet. And the woman goes oh.
Speaker 1: She was like, well, I wasn't even I wasn't even noticed.
Speaker 1: I didn't even notice. I didn't say the sun was
Speaker 1: in my eyes? There was said we're on a plane.
Speaker 1: The fuck are you talking about? The son is in
Speaker 1: whose eyes? And then and then she said you must
Speaker 1: get that a lot. Oh no, I yo irene it
Speaker 1: gave you. And I looked at her names said this,
Speaker 1: the slick is shade. Listen. When I got her, palm
Speaker 1: tree was very full. When I got home, I did
Speaker 1: the American Airlines Customer survey so fast you did. I
Speaker 1: was like, they misgendered me. Well that's what we were
Speaker 1: talking about. I was like, she misgendered my friend. That's unaccepted.
Speaker 1: But I didn't even say anything.
Speaker 2: I was like they were bands out And then when
Speaker 2: I mean, it.
Speaker 1: Was like, it's a she, she's like, oh, that's why
Speaker 1: she's laughing over there. Because I was like, why do
Speaker 1: you keep calling her sir? So loud? I took a
Speaker 1: picture of Marie because I was like, well, let me
Speaker 1: show you what she let me show you. Well, now
Speaker 1: that we're showing photos, hold on, I think I had
Speaker 1: on this this shirt and a hat. Andrew. My face
Speaker 1: looked exactly hold my little like Brooklyn cycling cat, but
Speaker 1: like sing. She was like, the sun was in vis
Speaker 1: it's a glare up here. I was like, what now
Speaker 1: we are surrounded by clouds and you are being a
Speaker 1: shady beige beach. And then I was like, well, I
Speaker 1: want two snacks, and she was like okay, and she
Speaker 1: gave me two snacks. And then the plane lands three
Speaker 1: hours later and the woman sitting in front of me
Speaker 1: pops up so fast. She was like, you guys had
Speaker 1: me cracking up the entire flight. She was like when
Speaker 1: that lady called you sir, she was like, I wanted
Speaker 1: to turn around to see your face so bad.
Speaker 3: You're coming from Miami. Let me let me see, let
Speaker 3: me see gay trip.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that doesn't look like look like the sun
Speaker 1: is in my eyes, Andrew, Andrew, I thought you was
Speaker 1: an ally, definitely not and you're canceled. Irene Irene from
Speaker 1: American Airlines is also canceled. I stand with what you wow,
Speaker 1: I'm with her.
Speaker 3: I'm with her.
Speaker 1: Irene was like screaming the sir at the top of
Speaker 1: her lungs. I was like, you know what, I will
Speaker 1: never fly American Airlines again. Also, Miami is canceled. We're
Speaker 1: no longer doing Miami anyway. That's what happened. And now
Speaker 1: I'm hungry again. But I'll never fly American Airlines again.
Speaker 1: It's dead to me, little bagel, Little bagel, maybe Andrew,
Speaker 1: what's going on with you? What's new in the life
Speaker 1: of your friend?
Speaker 3: We had a week. H We're not hoeing as much,
Speaker 3: We're still doing it like once a week, but you're
Speaker 3: still what do you mean we're as much as how
Speaker 3: much were you holling before? Uh? To an extent that
Speaker 3: my therapist was like, if you even consider it, you
Speaker 3: need to call me instead. And I was like, oh, okay, okay.
Speaker 3: The therapist had to get had to stick. Okay, Linda, okay.
Speaker 3: Irene's daughter, Uh, And no, but I did. I did
Speaker 3: hook up with someone.
Speaker 2: But I thought you said he was gonna stop holing,
Speaker 2: like it's how you.
Speaker 1: Stop hoing, but you're still looking up with other people.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know I want to, but then it's just
Speaker 3: like this is all they want. You got to give
Speaker 3: the people look you don't want.
Speaker 1: You don't want a relationship. It's about to be wintertime.
Speaker 3: Though, I know I need to fully. I am going
Speaker 3: on a day tonight though with whom DJ.
Speaker 1: Andrew, How are you young?
Speaker 3: Though? Dj? He I don't know.
Speaker 1: Does he have another job?
Speaker 3: No, he works a very He said that he works
Speaker 3: for an outerwear company. I don't know, so Canada Goose,
Speaker 3: I don't know he's working.
Speaker 1: You should definitely go on a date with him so
Speaker 1: you can get a little free Cande Goose.
Speaker 3: That would be cute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a little ll Bean Parker.
Speaker 3: See how that goes. But I went to the bar
Speaker 3: on Wednesday night, and you know how like there's like
Speaker 3: always like the one guy at the bar that's like
Speaker 3: a little bit like creepy, just like watching everybody. That
Speaker 3: was that was you, No, no, no, that was my
Speaker 3: mate for the evening. Unfortunately you wooked up with the
Speaker 3: Bernard I know, old French guy. No no, no, uh
Speaker 3: he was cute. And then I then he came back
Speaker 3: to my apartment not as cute, and.
Speaker 1: He was not as cute as you're at your house
Speaker 1: or yeah, no, he was not as cute.
Speaker 3: Oh both both. Absolutely. He was very drunk. He was
Speaker 3: on top of all. We didn't do anything because he
Speaker 3: was about to like we were about to do things,
Speaker 3: and then he was on top of my naked body
Speaker 3: and then he says I he mumbles something saying the
Speaker 3: word love, and I'm like, wait, this is crazy, and
Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, what are you saying right now? And
Speaker 3: then he says, I'm damn well near in love with you.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh hey.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're not insert anything inside.
Speaker 3: And so then then I asked him, Bernard, do you
Speaker 3: know what my name is?
Speaker 1: You used his name to ask him what your name was.
Speaker 3: He says, I'm thinking of James, and I was just like,
Speaker 3: get out, get out of my house.
Speaker 1: He said, But Andrew like, I haven't hooked up with
Speaker 1: somebody who don't know your name, stopping, Oh no, but
Speaker 1: you don't tell me that you love you yes, and
Speaker 1: you like James love And I was like, this is
Speaker 1: blind and it'll take over your mind and love can't
Speaker 1: love also is deaf. I can't hear it. Love also
Speaker 1: doesn't have a very good It has amnesia, love has Alzheimer's. Yeah,
Speaker 1: could you be forgetting? And then you're like, I love?
Speaker 1: I mean no, I don't but.
Speaker 3: No, no, And then he just left. And then he
Speaker 3: like text me the next day and he was like,
Speaker 3: can I take you out or something?
Speaker 1: I was like you like, he was like yeah, And
Speaker 1: then did you sign it as James?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, I said, now, absolutely not. James could do better.
Speaker 1: James deserves it. Yeah, that is wild, Sydney. Who are
Speaker 1: you texted right now? Yeah?
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 1: What's happening over there? Drama? If you're not gonna tal
Speaker 1: about it on the podcast, you shouldn't be dealing with
Speaker 1: it on the podcast. Okay, so you got your phone
Speaker 1: in your hand. And Andrew's telling is his truth?
Speaker 3: You know you don't even care.
Speaker 2: Well, it's not that I don't care, oh god, but
Speaker 2: it's just that.
Speaker 1: You have to put your foot down.
Speaker 3: I did put my foot down.
Speaker 1: He left.
Speaker 3: We didn't do anything.
Speaker 1: You know, he didn't put he didn't put his ass
Speaker 1: down down. Bye. I mean, Andrew, how often you think
Speaker 1: you're changing your sheets over Yeah? That's another all these people.
Speaker 3: No, I'm usually I usually don't host. Though he lived
Speaker 3: in Harlem.
Speaker 1: I you are doing long distance, honey.
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm not talk to Harlem. Though he's coming, you know,
Speaker 3: from West Village to Chelsea Community. He's paying for the uber.
Speaker 1: Yes, I see what you're doing. You should put that
Speaker 1: in your taxes. Write it off right. No. I matched
Speaker 1: with this dude like beginning of the summer, and we
Speaker 1: never like we would like chit chat and weak shande numbers,
Speaker 1: but he never asked me out, so I'd never like,
Speaker 1: I forgot what he looked like whatever, And I had
Speaker 1: deleted tender when I left and when I came back,
Speaker 1: and then he messaged me this week and was like, hey,
Speaker 1: stranger or something. He had messaged me a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago and he told me he lived in Queens.
Speaker 1: So I was like, well, I'm not I'm not going
Speaker 1: to Queen's. I don't give a damn how fluffy a
Speaker 1: beard is, right, So I like ignored him. And he
Speaker 1: messaged me this week and was like, hey stranger, somebody
Speaker 1: forgot me again. And I didn't respond because again Queen's.
Speaker 1: And then he was like, okay, well be well, like
Speaker 1: the next thing. He just kept like kept responding to himself.
Speaker 1: Oh no. So the last message he sent me was so,
Speaker 1: are we ever going to meet in person? And I
Speaker 1: said no. I was like, you know, I lost interests.
Speaker 1: We've been talking since we matched before June, like before
Speaker 1: I went to Harris and he was like, yeah, you
Speaker 1: said you want to hit me up when you came back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been back. I've been back. I said, I don't
Speaker 1: even remember what you looked like. And he was like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's crazy because I recognize you now and
Speaker 1: I was like from where and he was like I've
Speaker 1: seen your performances. Oh god, okay, well my pussy just
Speaker 1: dry up so we can stop talking right now. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't even remember what you look
Speaker 1: like when you've seen me perform. And I was like
Speaker 1: that's weird, and he was like that's I don't think
Speaker 1: that's weird. Stalkers, I don't think that that's weird. I
Speaker 1: just I just saw you perform like a couple months back.
Speaker 3: Wired like a live thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah he was. He was at a comedy show and
Speaker 1: saw many perform and was like, I don't think that's weird.
Speaker 1: I was like, well, I don't remember what you look like,
Speaker 1: so it's weird to me. And you're too famous. You're
Speaker 1: too famous to like online date now, no what you're
Speaker 1: talking about. I feel like Hillary Duff was on Riot.
Speaker 1: I feel like if Raven Simone is gonna be on
Speaker 1: Riah for a long a I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: Nobody wants any parts, and nobody that's Raven being a Riahs.
Speaker 2: That's a Raven that I mean. I saw an episode
Speaker 2: of Basketball Wives and Shannie O'Neill went on like speed
Speaker 2: dating with Evelyn Losada and all the dudes that were
Speaker 2: there were garbage and it was obviously stage. She didn't
Speaker 2: supposed to be funny, but she was saying like, it's
Speaker 2: really hard to date my husband. My ex husband is
Speaker 2: Shaquille O'Neal. And she never changed her name. And she
Speaker 2: never changed her name.
Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's a lot of paperword. You gotta
Speaker 1: change it, social, you gotta change it on everything. So yeah, ladies,
Speaker 1: just don't change your name in the first place. Ye
Speaker 1: stay a Washington or a Foston.
Speaker 2: I am. I'll always be a Washington. Yeah, it's just like,
Speaker 2: what's the sense of would you hyphenate?
Speaker 1: No? Because I feel like Washington is a long ass
Speaker 1: last name already, so I'm not hyphen any anything. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't go Washington Foston, Foston Washington. Should we do that?
Speaker 1: Sidney Foston Washington. Should we get married Marie? No, But
Speaker 1: we could take each other's last name, yay. We could
Speaker 1: be like Jada Pinkett Smith, I love it, Melissa Joan Hart,
Speaker 1: I love Freddie Prince Junior.
Speaker 2: Sidney Foston Washington. I mean that's a lot.
Speaker 1: And what's your last name?
Speaker 3: You don't know my last name.
Speaker 1: Mcgui guy, but I don't know what it McGuire McGuire, hello, Oh,
Speaker 1: don't you do that? Your name is Andrew, that's what
Speaker 1: we go by. But we just talk for a year.
Speaker 3: My last name.
Speaker 1: We don't know a lot of people's last I don't
Speaker 1: know a lot. We don't know a.
Speaker 3: Lot of people.
Speaker 1: Okay, wow, I know you're a mcguig guy, but like,
Speaker 1: it took me a minute, Andrew Dane, I don't know
Speaker 1: after you took Irene's side. Now you attacking me like this? Wow? Sorry,
Speaker 1: Sidney Foston Washington, McGuire, I like Sidney Washington, Foston.
Speaker 3: That works, okay, likest.
Speaker 1: Washington on Foston verse. Yeah, because w is the like
Speaker 1: that can't be first. We're gonna be at the end
Speaker 1: of attendance. You know, f is at the top. Okay,
Speaker 1: I'll do that.
Speaker 2: You sold me on it. I mean, you didn't have
Speaker 2: to do that much. I was gonna take your last
Speaker 2: name with you.
Speaker 1: I go into places like, yes, i am Marie Foston,
Speaker 1: thank you. I'll be taking that check. And then I
Speaker 1: walk in and they're like, oh, you bought your boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, this Foster, Like, yes, this is Sydney
Speaker 2: Washington over there.
Speaker 1: She's going through a couple of things. My bald colleague
Speaker 1: she moved out so she lost her hair as well.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Anyway, I like being bald. I'm enjoying
Speaker 1: it more now than I was a week ago this time.
Speaker 1: So we're gonna be both for a while. We like it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, let's talk about that.
Speaker 2: Let's talk about we've been revamping the live show coming.
Speaker 1: It's coming to you New York City October twelfth, Union Hall. Yes,
Speaker 1: October twelfth, Union Hall. We have Marybeth Baron and Jay Jorden.
Speaker 1: They're gonna be our They're gonna be battling each other
Speaker 1: to prove who is the unofficial expert of flirting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna be gorgeous. It's going to be a battle.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be fun because like Mary Beth is like
Speaker 1: the right amount of like shady and weedy and smart
Speaker 1: and hot and class and Jay is like hot and
Speaker 1: messy and confident and he flirts with everybody. He really
Speaker 1: he really be Andrew was, yeah, he's mad too. He's
Speaker 1: like Jay, you was talking about that ship. You know,
Speaker 1: don't talk about it, be about it. But Jay had
Speaker 1: a boyfriend, you know, he was a boyfriend, morphan, my
Speaker 1: French boyfriend.
Speaker 3: I think conflicted. I DMed him last week. I was
Speaker 3: thinking about it.
Speaker 1: You DMed him last week to say, well, I was
Speaker 1: just like that, just do it, just do hold on.
Speaker 1: You just got done telling us that you wasn't going
Speaker 1: to be a whole You're a liar, and you're a liar. Okay.
Speaker 3: It's someone that I know.
Speaker 1: You don't know that. I'm mad. Are you mad?
Speaker 3: But it's not like the other people.
Speaker 1: Drew you slid his DMS and said we should just
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 3: Well, we have d M past that one episode that
Speaker 3: he was on.
Speaker 1: What did you say? Show us the d M. We
Speaker 1: want to see it. We want to see the nudes
Speaker 1: that you sent.
Speaker 3: No, it's one of those pictures that disappear after.
Speaker 1: You said, as our producer, you should be keeping us
Speaker 1: in the loop as about as about guests that have
Speaker 1: been on the pod and then you fratnizing with him
Speaker 1: after Okay, as our gay tall producer intern, you should
Speaker 1: be telling us all of a miss. Yeah, I'm telling
Speaker 1: you right now. I don't know. I think I have
Speaker 1: to do a write up. Oh my god, I think
Speaker 1: I gotta write. I gotta write you up on this.
Speaker 1: Who I gotta talk to you. I'm gonna go to
Speaker 1: HR for what for not telling you who I want
Speaker 1: to exactly? Disappointed disappointed with me for wanting to hook
Speaker 1: up with Jay Jorden. Just wow, you put it on
Speaker 1: a wax, you spelled it out. You now hold back.
Speaker 1: Huh wow.
Speaker 2: Y'all gays are real out there.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm no qualm.
Speaker 3: What's he's all the way up on her Harlem too?
Speaker 3: Now where is he?
Speaker 1: I don't know where his boyfriend Boots.
Speaker 2: And you are gonna we are going to do Unofficial
Speaker 2: Expert Live. We're gonna go ahead to head.
Speaker 3: Oh I need to fight you.
Speaker 1: I really feel like we have some like unresolved tension.
Speaker 3: You know where I stand with you over neither.
Speaker 2: I'm always like, I'm always like, well, me and Andrew
Speaker 2: talk more than Andrew talks with Marie.
Speaker 3: But somehow you're always I know, I know I called
Speaker 3: Marie a few weeks ago. That's an issue that I
Speaker 3: knew probably wouldn't be able to be resolved with you.
Speaker 1: Unresolvable. Okay, let's talk about it.
Speaker 3: Was the episode that I talk about, Oh, we're just
Speaker 3: talking about everyone that I've had sex with.
Speaker 1: I guess this episode that's your fault. Sorry, that's just
Speaker 1: that's who you are.
Speaker 2: That's your rectum is out there, boots, Okay.
Speaker 1: Is not out. It's communal busy.
Speaker 3: But it was the episode that I talked about having
Speaker 3: sex with someone that I literally met on the street.
Speaker 1: Your anus is a homeless man. He's very He had
Speaker 1: on a backpack.
Speaker 3: He looked like Jimmy Fox.
Speaker 1: He's very, very Jamie Fox. He literally yes, you don't
Speaker 1: believe it.
Speaker 3: And then I saw him on the street the next
Speaker 3: week and I was like, Okay, I'm seeing you in
Speaker 3: the broad daylight and.
Speaker 1: He still look like Jimmie Fox.
Speaker 3: He looked like Jimmy Fox.
Speaker 1: He stopt me on the streaming, but is a soup kitchen.
Speaker 3: Cutting that out. You did not disrespect my belt like that.
Speaker 1: No, you don't disrespect your own.
Speaker 2: Right now.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what, First, I'm realist, back in because
Speaker 1: y'all are who Okay, I have a listener question, and
Speaker 1: then we gotta go because we got other episodes. That
Speaker 1: city found her energy, she found her groove. It took
Speaker 1: me some time. If you want to just shake literally
Speaker 1: you bitch, Andrews butt home, Andrew you fire me up.
Speaker 1: I want you to be here.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: Actually you quit your job and didn't even let us know.
Speaker 1: You just posted on the instant stories and somebody hit
Speaker 1: us up like did he quit?
Speaker 3: Oh I know, yeah, who does that?
Speaker 1: Oh no, it would never quite But I knew that
Speaker 1: you had been thinking about it.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, well maybe we had discussed what was
Speaker 3: the question?
Speaker 1: Okay, listening from New Mexico. Exclamation mark, This is Ray Cupcake.
Speaker 1: Wanted to slide in your DMS to add to the
Speaker 1: it's a confession. Okay, So, first of all, hoe is life. Okay.
Speaker 1: I've been with my dude now for two years. First
Speaker 1: real relationship of my life. We agreed to be monogamous.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty eight. Now he's much older than me, treats
Speaker 1: me so damn Good, sends me on vacations, all that
Speaker 1: good shit. So my confession is that I really miss
Speaker 1: being a hoe, different dude every night. Kick him out
Speaker 1: or leave the rush of mysterious sexy life. Andrew, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. My question, does this mean
Speaker 1: I'll never be happy settling down? Or is this part
Speaker 1: of the transition into the locked down life? What do
Speaker 1: we think? She's twenty eight, so you're twenty eight, you're
Speaker 1: not ready? And she said he's much older than her,
Speaker 1: so he's ready. He's ready, he's been ready, he's been
Speaker 1: living that life, so he know what to do to
Speaker 1: get you ready for the life that he wants. But
Speaker 1: how does she play this? Because she I mean, does
Speaker 1: it say that she lives with him?
Speaker 2: I say, you need some space, but it says he
Speaker 2: didn't hold up for like three weeks.
Speaker 1: He treats her so damn Good sensor on vacations, blah
Speaker 1: blah blah. He paying for stuff. Sis just like quietly up, No,
Speaker 1: take a break, Say listen, I need some space. I'm
Speaker 1: going through some things go for three weeks and then
Speaker 1: come back.
Speaker 3: Okay, but then you know he's going to ask like,
Speaker 3: are you going to see other people? Okay, he will
Speaker 3: absolutely ask me.
Speaker 1: But her question is does it mean she'll never be
Speaker 1: happy settling down? No, you're just not ready right now.
Speaker 1: You're just twenty eight. You're young, twenty eight Yeah, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're young. Come on, let's do it. Oh that's right, Marie.
Speaker 1: What's up twenty nine this year? Getting closer to thirty
Speaker 1: every day? Right? Yikes? All right, Well, what do you
Speaker 1: guys think is this person? Yeah, I don't think you're
Speaker 1: a bad person, says you just gotta tell him that
Speaker 1: you need to you need some time. You guys need
Speaker 1: to take a break, and you saying you want a hole.
Speaker 1: But it was just hot.
Speaker 2: It's about to get cold. You're gonna all that shit's
Speaker 2: gonna switch up. You're gonna be too tired to leave
Speaker 2: your house to go fuck somebody.
Speaker 1: You wanna be lonely. You think it's just too much work.
Speaker 1: It bitch.
Speaker 2: When it rains, I'm like, ah, well I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not horny anymore. When it rains. I horny when
Speaker 1: it rains. The rain is hitting the tin roof. Okay,
Speaker 1: but what about when it's where are you looking up
Speaker 1: in her new apartments? Sis hitting the tin roof? You know,
Speaker 1: and you're like, it reminds you of that time that
Speaker 1: you were in Portugal, you know what I mean? Out
Speaker 1: here being anyway, I feel like we accomplished all that
Speaker 1: to do. Okay, we did, we did. I feel good
Speaker 1: about what.
Speaker 3: We're talking about, unresolved issues.
Speaker 1: I think, okay, well, what we're gonna go toe to toe?
Speaker 2: And it's fine. I'm not we don't have to do
Speaker 2: it in this episode.
Speaker 1: Like if y'all go to to toe, both of y'all
Speaker 1: gonna lose. I don't feel like neither of you guys.
Speaker 3: Is going I think the we're both two emotional beings.
Speaker 3: I think Marie. Marie is like a little bit, I
Speaker 3: don't know, a little bit more mature than you guys. No,
Speaker 3: not mature is no, that's you're saying that. But I
Speaker 3: think that we're more in touch with our emotions than
Speaker 3: I think Marie is.
Speaker 1: Do need y'all need to be that much?
Speaker 3: But I don't. I feel like we could really hurt
Speaker 3: each other if possible.
Speaker 2: Which is crazy because I check on you I like,
Speaker 2: see how you're doing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you also you are also mean to him.
Speaker 1: You are you're rude to him, you're literally literally when
Speaker 1: we walked in today he came to pick us up,
Speaker 1: you didn't even say hello.
Speaker 3: When we walked in here, and I was five minutes
Speaker 3: like you've been thirty minutes late before.
Speaker 1: That was a one time Okay, you did arrived five
Speaker 1: minutes late and me and Sydney were on time and
Speaker 1: we lost our minds.
Speaker 3: You were like so sorry, but I also offered it's
Speaker 3: tough off of my bagel to heal.
Speaker 1: I was kidding out. I love you, Qidney. When he
Speaker 1: came up. When he got here, you didn't even say hello.
Speaker 2: Andrew, I always message you when people have comments that
Speaker 2: are positive.
Speaker 1: That don't mean that you're nicest. That means you pick
Speaker 1: and choose when you're nice.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I went through my D I responded
Speaker 3: to a story of yours the other day, and then
Speaker 3: I looked at her DM conversation. I've responded to so
Speaker 3: many of your stories, never get a response. Every time
Speaker 3: that I responded to Marie's stories always as Marie also
Speaker 3: responds to my my stuff too.
Speaker 1: M h I'll be out here. I'm looking at thanks. Okay,
Speaker 1: Sydney out here trying to encourage my gates, all sexy,
Speaker 1: slutty ass producer, and you just well, I'm glad that
Speaker 1: you guys are friends. Keep it up, all right? Well,
Speaker 1: the new Unofficial Experts starts next week and it's going
Speaker 1: to be me and Andrew's and I feel like the
Speaker 1: people want to know and our first guest is gonna
Speaker 1: be our mean expert Sydney Foston, Washington. The people, the
Speaker 1: people want you to host this as well. So I'll
Speaker 1: just I'll just leave. You're gonna go where where are
Speaker 1: you gonna go? Sis? You ain't got no headboard?
Speaker 3: Stop, sir, sir?
Speaker 1: Do you need a beverage to shut the fuck up? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take a Drinkodess hold in spring, guys, come
Speaker 1: to the live show.
Speaker 2: Come to the live show, buy tickets.
Speaker 1: We try to sell that bitch out. And it's not
Speaker 1: even like that.
Speaker 2: It's not crazy. It's you in your halt, like this
Speaker 2: ship is not sold out. I'm not fucking putting another
Speaker 2: episode out. You'll never hear, You'll never get an episode.
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, so let's talk about it. So the live show.
Speaker 1: The next one with Jay and Mary Beth for the
Speaker 1: Flirting Expert is October twelfth at ten pm Union Hall,
Speaker 1: and then we're doing a show for New York Comedy
Speaker 1: Festival Saturday, November ninth, also another live version of the podcast.
Speaker 1: And then we'll be in Chicago at some point. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's the ninth or something. I don't know what.
Speaker 1: I don't know what the date is, but we'll figure
Speaker 1: it out Chicago in the fall, so you know, way
Speaker 1: for us, look for us. Also, Toronto, we haven't forgotten
Speaker 1: about you. We have nine. We did a little bit,
Speaker 1: but also we didn't. We did send out our The
Speaker 1: merch is coming, and the merch is coming, bitch. Are
Speaker 1: you ready, honey?
Speaker 2: Okay, it will be a night, no, a day to remember.
Speaker 1: You can wear a merch to prom yeah okay, and
Speaker 1: you can cut it up.
Speaker 2: You can get fucked in unofficial expert merch and you
Speaker 2: get used by wearing merch.
Speaker 1: Merch, and then you can use it to wipe yourself out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really good to it's really good absorbent for
Speaker 2: like all the common coach juice. Yeah, if you're squirting
Speaker 2: and what.
Speaker 1: Right, you get it right? Out the right off the
Speaker 1: TV anyway, guys, thank you so much. Each shirt comes
Speaker 1: with a free thing of poppers. By the way, we
Speaker 1: love you so much. Ray comment subscribe the Patreon. We
Speaker 1: we're gonna get that together too. But we put it.
Speaker 1: We put an episode out and people were happy. It
Speaker 1: was like a co month ago. People are already like,
Speaker 1: where's the Patreon?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 1: Yeah, long ago it was okay, Okay, we got you.
Speaker 1: We're gonna do it. We're gonna do it in Sydney's studio. Okay,
Speaker 1: pun oh fuck you, Okay, goodbye, bye bye Forever. This
Speaker 1: has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Baham,
Speaker 1: Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please
Speaker 1: visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows
Speaker 1: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify.
Speaker 3: Or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
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Speaker 1: liking our page on Facebook.