Speaker 1: Cash Show. Hey guys, Daniel Tosh, host of The Toss Show.
Speaker 1: Time for another emergency pod, Eddie. Hit the sirensippeep, Yeah,
Speaker 1: are those sirens we've used?
Speaker 2: Why you have to look it up?
Speaker 1: You should have done that before we started the emergency pod.
Speaker 1: I just got back from Tahoe. Now you wouldn't know
Speaker 1: that from watching the show, because this show now runs
Speaker 1: like clockwork. We're having episodes drop every Tuesday, six am,
Speaker 1: West Coast. But the reality I was gone for one month.
Speaker 1: I was not here. And when I'm in Tahoe, when
Speaker 1: I'm in the mountains, I'm off grid. My phone's in
Speaker 1: airplane mode the entire time. I'm getting no intel of
Speaker 1: what's going on in the real world. I'm up there
Speaker 1: with my R six Cobalt. By the way, is Cobalt
Speaker 1: a sponsor of this show? Because they should be, Man,
Speaker 1: I love my twenty twenty three Cobalt are six all right? Anyway,
Speaker 1: So I had a great time with my family and
Speaker 1: friends on the lake, and now I'm back and I'm told.
Speaker 1: I'm told he was a busy month, Eddie. What I missed?
Speaker 2: You missed a lot, buddy. Someone tried to assassinate Donald Trump.
Speaker 1: Whoa are you talking about? Is his character?
Speaker 2: No? His ear?
Speaker 1: His ear. But I'm glad that he's still alive. And
Speaker 1: I don't know if he can hear this or not.
Speaker 1: But that's yeah, that's big. I'm sure people have people
Speaker 1: been talking about it?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, a lot of banter.
Speaker 1: Okay, so a lot of people have their take. Well,
Speaker 1: I tell you what, I'm glad God saved him. Has
Speaker 1: anyone said that. Have they been courageous enough to openly
Speaker 1: say that God saved him? Now, if that is true
Speaker 1: and that is what you believe, which I'm totally okay with,
Speaker 1: then you also have to except that God shot them. Interesting.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, you know, mysterious ways this is. This
Speaker 1: is a probably an unnecessary take to an assassination attempt,
Speaker 1: but you know, you think about how many Second Amendment
Speaker 1: nuts would be at this rally, and I think the
Speaker 1: lesson is that there's not enough guns. We need more
Speaker 1: guns everybody, because because clearly that didn't that didn't help
Speaker 1: the situation. Here's another thing I'll say, when something like
Speaker 1: this happens to somebody like that, it always makes me
Speaker 1: feel good that I don't spend a fortune on security,
Speaker 1: because if somebody can can do that to a presidential
Speaker 1: candidate that has secret service, a former president of America,
Speaker 1: Then what chance do I have? None? If somebody wants
Speaker 1: to take a shot at me, it's it's it's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: So I'm you know, I'll just stick with my ring
Speaker 1: cam and hope for the best. Anyway, you know, good
Speaker 1: job to everyone on his security team, and your medals
Speaker 1: and walking papers are in the mail. I right, they
Speaker 1: didn't do a good job. All right? Did I miss
Speaker 1: anything else?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got a Biden dropped out of the race.
Speaker 2: Whohoa whoa Yeah, started doing tons of drugs with Hunter.
Speaker 2: Now he's talking about revamping the entire Supreme Court because
Speaker 2: he's got zero fucks to give.
Speaker 1: I hope you're right. I hope that old geriatric son
Speaker 1: of a bitch has the best time for his final
Speaker 1: six months in office. Just starts paying off every kid's
Speaker 1: student loans, starts mailing out abortion pills to everyone in
Speaker 1: the South, just banning shit left and right, start making
Speaker 1: new laws. Guns are illegal, You're not allowed to stand
Speaker 1: during the national anthem. It just really really go out
Speaker 1: with a bang. He dropped out right, right, So he
Speaker 1: is eligible to run again in twenty twenty eight. Technically, yeah,
Speaker 1: that'd be great. I think an older Biden, a wiser,
Speaker 1: more mature Biden. That'll be fun to watch. You know what,
Speaker 1: what really should happen? Trump should be like, Oh, because
Speaker 1: I was beating Biden, you have him drop out, so
Speaker 1: he should he should be two can play at that game?
Speaker 1: He drops out? Huh? And guess who he gets to
Speaker 1: replace him?
Speaker 2: Who?
Speaker 1: You take a guess?
Speaker 2: Joe Biden? Did I guess it? No?
Speaker 1: I like that he drops out gets Joe Biden to run.
Speaker 1: Oh man, the R and C would have a fit.
Speaker 1: People would lose their mind. People wouldn't know our egg's
Speaker 1: gonna get more expensive or less. I don't even know,
Speaker 1: Oh man, I miss anything else.
Speaker 2: The Olympics kicked off.
Speaker 1: No, I watched a lot of the Olympics in Paris, France.
Speaker 1: Oh beautiful, and the opening ceremony that got people upset.
Speaker 1: In the moment, it didn't even register. I just thought
Speaker 1: they were just re enacting famous pieces of artwork. Upset
Speaker 1: a lot of the Christians. You wouldn't You wouldn't make
Speaker 1: fun of Muslims like this? Well, yeah, no shit, because
Speaker 1: they'll kill us, you know, Christians need need to up
Speaker 1: their game. You know, somebody tells a joke about you,
Speaker 1: and then you like, strap some T and t t
Speaker 1: your chest and blow the whole community up. We'll stop
Speaker 1: making those jokes. I watched a lot of the Olympics.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest with you. I didn't tune into everything.
Speaker 1: I think some people be surprised of what I was
Speaker 1: interested what I wasn't interested in. Let me say this too,
Speaker 1: abo about the gymnastics between the male and the female.
Speaker 1: I mean, can we even call them women anymore? I mean,
Speaker 1: it's getting so complicated. Do you know what? The only
Speaker 1: difference between male and female on the floor exercises, As
Speaker 1: far as I can tell, there's no music for the men. No,
Speaker 1: we're too manly to have music, So they take out
Speaker 1: a few of those dumb elements where you're like, after
Speaker 1: or Simone Biles does twenty flips in the air, you know,
Speaker 1: then she has to strike a pose and do some
Speaker 1: weird dance for five seconds. They don't do that, and
Speaker 1: then there's no music in the men and the men
Speaker 1: do like one little you know, break dance routine, But
Speaker 1: for the most part, it's just get to the corners.
Speaker 1: Run and do a bunch of flips and try to
Speaker 1: stick it and not go out of bounds. And I
Speaker 1: just I can't help but think in my head, they're like,
Speaker 1: why can't the men like I don't think, Oh, why
Speaker 1: do the women have to have music? Oh? Because they
Speaker 1: want to make it sexier for the women and men.
Speaker 1: They want to make it cooler, Like, we don't need music,
Speaker 1: we're not dancing, we're too cool for that. I disagree.
Speaker 1: I think we need music for both of them. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: let's take off a tenth. If you don't shake your hips, fellas,
Speaker 1: shake your hips about surfing.
Speaker 2: Colin jos was sent home because of medical reasons.
Speaker 1: What Colin Colin Johansson?
Speaker 2: He surfs, You know he's a corresponding.
Speaker 1: Right here we go, I'm gonna have to do a
Speaker 1: surfing rant. Tune out if you don't care. I love surfing.
Speaker 1: I've surfed my whole life. I don't tune in because
Speaker 1: the coverage is stupid. The announcers I'm not talking about Colin.
Speaker 1: Colin might have done a great job, but they always
Speaker 1: just trying to amp it up so much instead of going, oh,
Speaker 1: the surf sucks today, guys. The reason the scores are
Speaker 1: two point fives is because the waves suck. This. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're watching a basketball game and a team isn't scoring,
Speaker 1: the announcers aren't like constantly reminding you these are the
Speaker 1: greatest athletes in the world. They're like, ah, these guys
Speaker 1: suck right now, this is a boring game, Charles Barkley.
Speaker 1: But this is unwatchable. So when it's you know, head
Speaker 1: high and choppy, I'm not excited to see women's pro
Speaker 1: surfing and chopu when the scores are three point four. Oh,
Speaker 1: somebody didn't catch a wave. That happened multiple times, like
Speaker 1: somebody like didn't catch a wave. No sets came in.
Speaker 1: Oh that was a fun thirty minutes, wasn't it. Imagine
Speaker 1: if you're in track and field and they're like, well,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, there's there's no track for you, and laying
Speaker 1: four none didn't come, so deal with it. Here's another thing.
Speaker 1: So it was into heating and it was at this famous
Speaker 1: break that is very dangerous when it's big and heavy,
Speaker 1: but they always do this in serve. It's surfing. Though
Speaker 1: the announcer is big, the water is only one inch deep,
Speaker 1: and only these people can surf this and it's not true.
Speaker 1: It's just not true. Yes, when that place is firing,
Speaker 1: the lineup thins out. But the reality is all these
Speaker 1: places that they try to pretend are so impossible to surf.
Speaker 1: If there's not a pro contest, there's two hundred people
Speaker 1: out surfing there and they're having fun and they're not dying.
Speaker 1: On every wave it's one inch deep. If that person
Speaker 1: goes one more foot, their leg would be cut off.
Speaker 1: Shut up. There's a million other reasons I can explain
Speaker 1: why it's bad. Nobody watched it. Who has that kind
Speaker 1: of time? So it's at one break and then there's
Speaker 1: two people in water at a time. Imagine if they
Speaker 1: held the Olympics tennis tournament, but you only played it
Speaker 1: on one court and that's how long it was. Oh okay,
Speaker 1: does anybody have fourteen hours today to kill to watch
Speaker 1: this like it's it's nonsense. Tennis gets it right. If
Speaker 1: there's a star player, you get to play on the
Speaker 1: best court at the best time, and they don't care
Speaker 1: that it's not a complete even playing field, that some
Speaker 1: other random guy plays some side court that nobody's watching.
Speaker 1: Whatever surfing needs to adapt that they need to be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: here's the marquee players. They get to surf this break
Speaker 1: at this time, and it all happens at one time,
Speaker 1: and the rest of the people are at some crappy
Speaker 1: beach break down the street, like like get it going.
Speaker 1: Oh I honestly, I can go on. I watched the
Speaker 1: tennis and I was furious at the finals for men's
Speaker 1: where Alcarez choked away two tie breakers. You had Djokovic's
Speaker 1: number and then ugh and then he and then to
Speaker 1: watch him fake weep on the court like he's just
Speaker 1: so calculated. I don't buy it for second. That's the problem.
Speaker 1: I watched the Olympics and then I just become a hater.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a hater. Another thing I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say about the Olympics. I mean, I'm on a
Speaker 1: crazy tear here. All medals aren't the same, can we agree?
Speaker 1: Simone wins a medal, Wow, amazing And the parents and
Speaker 1: the sacrifices that they went through for this, that's amazing.
Speaker 1: But when I watch it and I got to read
Speaker 1: it to make sure kayak cross small, no I that
Speaker 1: looked for It's a race in this this kayak race,
Speaker 1: and it's four people and they're in this this little
Speaker 1: box that's fifteen feet in the air, and then it
Speaker 1: when it starts, it tilts down and the four kayakers
Speaker 1: fall off this thing fifteen feet high and fall into
Speaker 1: this little makeshift river. And then they all paddle like
Speaker 1: crazy and you know, bang into each other, and somebody
Speaker 1: misses a turn and the race is over. I'm just like,
Speaker 1: come on, I'm not I don't want to see the
Speaker 1: story of what your parents sacrificed for this forty year
Speaker 1: old guy to kayak this stupid little river. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: get emotional. My kid did it for my country and
Speaker 1: kayak cross small. Come at me in the comments about
Speaker 1: that one about justifying how important it is to some country.
Speaker 1: By the way, did flag football start in the Olympics.
Speaker 2: Oh, I don't know yet.
Speaker 1: I didn't watch it. I didn't watch any flag football.
Speaker 1: And why didn't we Why don't we send our pros,
Speaker 1: send our pros for flag football? Oh, it'd be fun,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't mind, say, or better yet, send our retired pros,
Speaker 1: way better, that'd be interesting. I know that one guy
Speaker 1: got real popular during the Olympics, the pummel horse guy.
Speaker 1: He was kind of a nerd, but he was a
Speaker 1: specialist on that apparatus, and and he won bronze. But
Speaker 1: here's what I didn't understand about it. When he would
Speaker 1: take his glasses off, I mean just immediately like aw,
Speaker 1: and then he does the routine. I'm like, well, keep
Speaker 1: your glasses on, or get some contacts. You might you
Speaker 1: might instead of bronze, maybe you're getting silver. If you
Speaker 1: could see it, I almost felt like he was hamming
Speaker 1: it up. You think he was hamming it up. I
Speaker 1: think so. I think he was hamming it up. So anyway,
Speaker 1: the Olympics, they were great. When do real sports start?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Soon? All right? So yeah, the Olympics. We won the
Speaker 1: metal count and in that all that matters. Although China
Speaker 1: will be like, well we won more goals, but I
Speaker 1: don't know that that's true. I think that it's not
Speaker 1: officially over yet. So whatever. All right, that's the end
Speaker 1: of the emergency pod Eddie hit the siren again. See
Speaker 1: in four years.