WEBVTT - How to Experience the Joy of Giving Right Now 0:00:15.476 --> 0:00:24.676 Pushkin. Hello and welcome to a special edition of the 0:00:24.716 --> 0:00:28.596 Happiness Lab podcast. I hope all my listeners who celebrate 0:00:28.716 --> 0:00:31.556 had a happy Thanksgiving. But the day I really look 0:00:31.596 --> 0:00:35.636 forward to each November is the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. Forget 0:00:35.636 --> 0:00:38.916 Black Friday and Cyber Monday, my holiday of choice is 0:00:38.996 --> 0:00:43.036 Giving Tuesday. Giving Tuesday is the global holiday of charitable 0:00:43.036 --> 0:00:46.036 giving that falls right in the midst of our shopping frenzy, 0:00:46.676 --> 0:00:50.276 a day that's not about commerce but compassion. Here at 0:00:50.316 --> 0:00:52.436 the Happiness Lab, we tend to make a big deal 0:00:52.476 --> 0:00:55.476 out of Giving Tuesday. Every year, we share a special 0:00:55.516 --> 0:00:58.436 episode that explores why doing good for others is super 0:00:58.476 --> 0:01:01.396 good for our own happiness. We also like to give 0:01:01.396 --> 0:01:03.636 our listeners a chance to team up and donate to 0:01:03.676 --> 0:01:06.116 a charitable cause that really does good in the world. 0:01:06.836 --> 0:01:10.036 For the past few years, that charity has been given Directly, 0:01:10.516 --> 0:01:13.156 a nonprofit that takes your cash and gives it directly 0:01:13.196 --> 0:01:16.236 to people in extreme poverty to spend as they see fit. 0:01:16.756 --> 0:01:20.356 But this year we are going even bigger. We're bringing 0:01:20.356 --> 0:01:22.956 together the fans of some of my favorite podcasts to 0:01:23.076 --> 0:01:26.276 raise even more money to fight poverty. Think ten Percent 0:01:26.276 --> 0:01:30.556 Happier with Dan Harris on Purpose with Jayshetty, Revisionist History, 0:01:30.716 --> 0:01:33.756 Hidden Brain, How to Be a Better Human, and dozens more. 0:01:34.396 --> 0:01:38.156 The campaign even has its own hashtag, Pods Fight Poverty. 0:01:38.556 --> 0:01:41.076 Pods Fight Poverty is trying to raise a million dollars 0:01:41.076 --> 0:01:44.236 this year, enough money to lift several villages in Rwanda 0:01:44.396 --> 0:01:47.276 out of extreme poverty. If you want to help, had 0:01:47.276 --> 0:01:50.196 to give directly dot org slash happiness Lab. To donate 0:01:50.236 --> 0:01:53.876 what you can, let's GiveDirectly dot org slash happiness Lab. 0:01:54.436 --> 0:01:56.596 If you're a fan of this show, you've probably already 0:01:56.636 --> 0:01:58.836 heard about the great things GiB directly can do with 0:01:58.916 --> 0:02:01.716 a small donation from a listener like you. Take the 0:02:01.756 --> 0:02:04.596 great work we did earlier this year in collaboration with 0:02:04.676 --> 0:02:07.916 author and YouTube star John Green, John and I asked 0:02:07.916 --> 0:02:10.196 you to partner up with GiB direct to tackle the 0:02:10.236 --> 0:02:12.076 deadly disease tuberculosis. 0:02:12.476 --> 0:02:16.196 Tuberculosis is an airborne disease that usually affects the lungs. 0:02:16.276 --> 0:02:20.436 If left untreated, tuberculosis usually does result in death. Fortunately, 0:02:20.476 --> 0:02:23.156 since the nineteen fifties, we've had a cure for tuberculosis. 0:02:23.156 --> 0:02:26.876 It's a bacterial infection, so the curious antibiotics given every 0:02:26.916 --> 0:02:28.316 day over four to six months. 0:02:28.556 --> 0:02:30.956 The problem is that many people with TB live in 0:02:30.996 --> 0:02:33.036 parts of the world where they can't afford these life 0:02:33.076 --> 0:02:35.956 saving drugs. So John and I asked our listeners to 0:02:35.996 --> 0:02:38.996 help out. With lots of small donations of five or 0:02:38.996 --> 0:02:42.316 ten bucks, we raised over one hundred thousand dollars to 0:02:42.356 --> 0:02:46.196 fight this disease. That's incredible, right, But what's even more 0:02:46.196 --> 0:02:49.036 incredible are the stories we heard about what this money 0:02:49.076 --> 0:02:53.316 did for people living with the disease. Take one recipient, Margaret, 0:02:53.596 --> 0:02:57.316 a thirty year old TB patient living in Malawi. Margaret's 0:02:57.316 --> 0:03:00.196 TB could have easily been cured with a simple antibiotic, 0:03:00.716 --> 0:03:03.796 but lacking the resources to get treatment, she eventually got 0:03:03.796 --> 0:03:07.116 sicker and sicker. That is until she received the cash 0:03:07.116 --> 0:03:11.196 donation we provided through gibdirectly. With that small amount of money, 0:03:11.476 --> 0:03:13.796 she was able to pay for the bicycle taxi she 0:03:13.916 --> 0:03:16.436 needed to travel to a far off clinic where she 0:03:16.516 --> 0:03:19.396 was able to finally start her drug treatment. I was 0:03:19.476 --> 0:03:22.556 overjoyed when I received the cash transfer, Margaret wrote in 0:03:22.556 --> 0:03:25.036 her thank you letter to our listeners. It felt like 0:03:25.076 --> 0:03:27.836 my life had been given a second chance. I have 0:03:27.916 --> 0:03:31.756 hope again. Months later, I still think back to Margaret's story. 0:03:31.876 --> 0:03:34.956 Whenever I'm having a crappy day, taking a moment to 0:03:35.036 --> 0:03:37.756 remember what the five or ten bucks we collectively shared 0:03:37.796 --> 0:03:40.556 did not just for Margaret, but for hundreds of other 0:03:40.556 --> 0:03:44.476 people who were struggling. That feels amazing, Probably more amazing 0:03:44.516 --> 0:03:47.356 than any material gift I'll be getting this holiday season. 0:03:47.996 --> 0:03:50.356 That good feeling is what the rest of this episode 0:03:50.396 --> 0:03:53.756 is about. With the help of some amazing fellow podcasters, 0:03:54.116 --> 0:03:57.396 I'm going to explore the enormous psychological power of giving 0:03:57.476 --> 0:04:00.956 and receiving. We'll see how small acts of kindness, a 0:04:00.956 --> 0:04:03.156 spare bit of cash, or a tiny gesture of care 0:04:03.516 --> 0:04:06.676 can create huge ripples in a person's life. I want 0:04:06.676 --> 0:04:09.476 these stories to serve as a reminder for something lying 0:04:09.556 --> 0:04:12.796 minds often forget that a great way to treat ourselves 0:04:13.036 --> 0:04:15.316 is to do a small bit of good for somebody else. 0:04:15.916 --> 0:04:17.916 To kick off these stories of how doing good can 0:04:17.956 --> 0:04:20.476 make us feel good, let's look at how receiving an 0:04:20.516 --> 0:04:23.316 act of kindness can change us. And we'll do that 0:04:23.396 --> 0:04:26.036 with my first esteemed podcast host guest. 0:04:26.396 --> 0:04:29.356 Hi, my name's Tim Harford, and I am the host 0:04:29.516 --> 0:04:30.956 of Cautionary Tales. 0:04:31.436 --> 0:04:34.756 Tim is a respected journalist and economist, but his story 0:04:34.796 --> 0:04:37.236 of being the recipient of kindness goes back to a 0:04:37.276 --> 0:04:40.276 time before he found fame working for the BBC or 0:04:40.276 --> 0:04:41.636 hosting cautionary tales. 0:04:42.356 --> 0:04:45.916 This story took place nearly a quarter of a century ago. 0:04:46.076 --> 0:04:51.596 I was visiting a friend in Cameroon, which is in 0:04:51.876 --> 0:04:55.396 West Africa, very poor part of the world. I was 0:04:55.436 --> 0:04:58.996 in my mid twenties, and I was on edge because 0:04:59.116 --> 0:05:01.916 you Cameroon was at the time rated as one of 0:05:01.956 --> 0:05:04.876 the most corrupt countries in the world, and corrupt or not, 0:05:05.396 --> 0:05:09.796 people there were often really desperate. As a tourist feel 0:05:09.836 --> 0:05:13.076 like you're a target, and so I was always on 0:05:13.076 --> 0:05:15.116 the lookout. I had just had this sort of suspicion. 0:05:15.716 --> 0:05:18.796 I went around my travels around Cameroon. I had a 0:05:18.796 --> 0:05:22.356 great time, was treated wonderfully by everybody I met, but 0:05:22.436 --> 0:05:25.556 I never lost that feeling of you need to be careful. 0:05:25.956 --> 0:05:29.316 Then one day I was standing by the roadside in 0:05:29.356 --> 0:05:34.116 a smallish town called the Menda with a couple of 0:05:34.236 --> 0:05:37.036 western friends, and I think we were waiting for a bus, 0:05:37.396 --> 0:05:39.796 just bought some egg and chips. We're having a good time, 0:05:39.836 --> 0:05:43.676 and we've just walked across country several miles on this 0:05:44.356 --> 0:05:49.156 dust road, and as we're waiting, a couple of guys 0:05:49.676 --> 0:05:52.756 zoom up behind us on a motorbike. Two guys on 0:05:52.756 --> 0:05:57.756 one motorbike. I turned around, expecting some threat, and they 0:05:57.716 --> 0:05:59.396 stopped right in front of me and one of them 0:05:59.476 --> 0:06:02.596 just hands me something and I looked down at it 0:06:03.276 --> 0:06:08.996 is this, and it's a passport. In fact, it's my passport. 0:06:09.396 --> 0:06:11.996 I mean, I'm completely bewildered. Why is this guy giving 0:06:11.996 --> 0:06:14.236 me my own passport? And of course I realized what's 0:06:14.516 --> 0:06:18.676 happened is the passport was in my back pocket and 0:06:18.836 --> 0:06:21.836 I've sat down by the roadside miles back and the 0:06:21.876 --> 0:06:25.396 passport must have fallen out, and these guys have driven 0:06:25.436 --> 0:06:29.156 along this road on the motorbike. They've spotted a British passport, 0:06:29.196 --> 0:06:30.876 and they have gone all the way down the road 0:06:31.156 --> 0:06:34.196 looking for the first guy they see who looks British, 0:06:34.276 --> 0:06:36.996 which is me. They even got my photo with my passport, 0:06:37.516 --> 0:06:40.156 and the amazing thing was they handed it over and 0:06:40.156 --> 0:06:42.556 then they just drove off. They weren't They didn't sort 0:06:42.556 --> 0:06:45.636 of stand around waiting for a tip or reward or 0:06:45.636 --> 0:06:47.316 even really a thank so it was just you know, 0:06:47.716 --> 0:06:50.036 there you go. I thought you might need this, and 0:06:50.076 --> 0:06:54.116 off they went, and I realized that this suspicion which 0:06:54.476 --> 0:06:58.676 with which I've been viewing everybody, had been so much 0:06:58.716 --> 0:07:02.436 the opposite of how these guys had actually behaved. I mean, 0:07:02.476 --> 0:07:04.756 I would have been even more grateful if I had 0:07:04.796 --> 0:07:08.116 had a moment to realize they even had a problem, 0:07:08.116 --> 0:07:12.036 because if I had been stuck in Cameroon without my passport, 0:07:12.516 --> 0:07:15.036 that's a big problem that's going to cause me a 0:07:15.116 --> 0:07:18.796 lot of headaches. But they had solved the problem before 0:07:18.836 --> 0:07:21.676 I even realized they'd solved the problem. They had completely 0:07:21.716 --> 0:07:26.956 defied my rather uncharitable expectations of the people of Cameroon, 0:07:27.116 --> 0:07:29.636 and they're driven off into the sunset without even waiting 0:07:29.676 --> 0:07:30.236 for a thank you. 0:07:30.356 --> 0:07:31.956 It also seems like they did a lot of work, 0:07:31.996 --> 0:07:34.076 Like it sounds like they were like chasing you as 0:07:34.116 --> 0:07:35.956 you're walking around all through the day to try to 0:07:35.996 --> 0:07:36.596 find you too. 0:07:37.156 --> 0:07:40.076 Probably they came a couple of miles on the motorbike. 0:07:40.476 --> 0:07:44.876 I mean it was probably ten or fifteen minutes. Maybe 0:07:44.956 --> 0:07:48.036 I don't know at all really how much work they did, 0:07:48.156 --> 0:07:50.796 But all I know is that they did it, And 0:07:51.756 --> 0:07:54.796 they could easily have taken that passport and thought, well, 0:07:54.836 --> 0:07:57.836 maybe maybe we can turn this into cash somehow, or 0:07:57.916 --> 0:08:01.316 even just maybe we can try and get a tip 0:08:01.356 --> 0:08:02.116 out of this guy. 0:08:02.116 --> 0:08:03.756 Or just left it on the ground, like oh, well, 0:08:03.796 --> 0:08:04.836 you know, I don't know this guy. 0:08:04.996 --> 0:08:08.036 Yeah, yeah, there's someone else's problem. Yeah, just ignored it. 0:08:08.076 --> 0:08:09.676 But they didn't that story. 0:08:09.716 --> 0:08:11.876 But it also points out how like so many of 0:08:11.876 --> 0:08:14.396 our societies are probably much more high trust societies than 0:08:14.436 --> 0:08:16.476 we assume. Like so many people are out there doing 0:08:16.556 --> 0:08:19.036 better things that we think, but I think we have 0:08:19.116 --> 0:08:22.316 minds that assume people are kind of mistrusting. I actually, unfortunately, Tim, 0:08:22.356 --> 0:08:24.636 I actually blame the economists on this a little bit 0:08:24.876 --> 0:08:26.916 because I feel like, at least. 0:08:26.676 --> 0:08:29.196 All fine, yeah, sure we kick the economists. 0:08:29.316 --> 0:08:31.316 I mean, at least the standard economists have been telling 0:08:31.356 --> 0:08:33.036 us for a long time that you know, we are 0:08:33.116 --> 0:08:35.556 home economic as we are these selfish beings who are 0:08:35.596 --> 0:08:36.116 going to go out. 0:08:36.156 --> 0:08:36.356 You know. 0:08:36.556 --> 0:08:38.636 So maybe the folks who returned your passport would do 0:08:38.676 --> 0:08:40.556 it if they thought they could get you know, some 0:08:40.716 --> 0:08:43.076 cash off you, or they you know, maybe they get 0:08:43.076 --> 0:08:45.836 some huge reputational benefits. Someone saw them do it and 0:08:45.876 --> 0:08:47.876 that you know, now they kind of like praising them 0:08:47.916 --> 0:08:49.916 and so on. But they wouldn't just do it, just 0:08:49.916 --> 0:08:51.916 for the good of doing it well, I mean, let. 0:08:51.836 --> 0:08:53.396 Me push back a little bit. Let me push back 0:08:53.436 --> 0:08:55.476 a little bit and defend my fellow economists. So the 0:08:55.996 --> 0:08:58.996 classic economic model, all it says is that people have 0:08:59.076 --> 0:09:03.916 consistent preferences, and it's kind of convenient to assume that 0:09:03.996 --> 0:09:07.116 those preferences are about consumption, Like you're trying to spend 0:09:07.156 --> 0:09:09.916 as little money as possible and get as much stuff 0:09:09.956 --> 0:09:12.236 as possible for that money. It doesn't have to be 0:09:12.756 --> 0:09:15.596 you could and I've I've seen some beautiful economic models 0:09:15.596 --> 0:09:21.276 written where actually, my pleasure is completely dependent on your pleasure, Laurie, 0:09:21.316 --> 0:09:23.596 Like the happier I can just see the glow in 0:09:23.636 --> 0:09:26.516 your eyes. I know how happy you are, and the 0:09:26.596 --> 0:09:29.556 happier you are, the happier that makes me. There's nothing 0:09:29.596 --> 0:09:32.876 in conventional economics that makes that impossible. We tend not 0:09:32.916 --> 0:09:35.556 to make that assumption because it's kind of why would you, 0:09:35.876 --> 0:09:37.996 And so we simplify and we talk about the purchase 0:09:37.996 --> 0:09:40.356 of goods and services and we ignore the altruistic bit. 0:09:40.836 --> 0:09:44.156 There's nothing in classical economics that says people can't be altruistic. 0:09:44.436 --> 0:09:47.836 We I think just haven't paid enough attention to that possibility. 0:09:47.876 --> 0:09:50.356 And because we don't pay attention to the possibility. We 0:09:50.516 --> 0:09:51.636 just set it to one side. 0:09:51.676 --> 0:09:55.276 Are you surprised that we don't think of kind actions 0:09:55.316 --> 0:09:57.876 as as valuable as impactful as they often are? 0:09:58.156 --> 0:10:01.836 If I can just be a kind of amateur evolutionary 0:10:01.876 --> 0:10:05.076 psychologist for a moment, I suppose you might naturally think 0:10:05.196 --> 0:10:07.676 that we had evolved to be a little bit more 0:10:07.716 --> 0:10:11.316 suspicious of people, particularly of strangers, because you know, it's 0:10:11.356 --> 0:10:13.956 bad to have someone take advantage of you. But actually, 0:10:13.996 --> 0:10:16.396 of course we evolved to be to be social beings, 0:10:16.476 --> 0:10:19.436 and maybe we shouldn't be so surprised that people often 0:10:20.036 --> 0:10:22.436 behave kindly to each other. I mean, I am aware 0:10:22.476 --> 0:10:26.196 of some research in psychology. All know this kind of 0:10:26.276 --> 0:10:29.556 work better than me, Laurie, But we often failed to generalize, 0:10:29.596 --> 0:10:33.116 Like we think, oh, if I found a wallet with 0:10:33.516 --> 0:10:36.516 like a driving license in it, then you know I'd 0:10:36.556 --> 0:10:39.796 contact the owner or I'd hand it into the police station. Yeah, 0:10:40.076 --> 0:10:42.636 of course That's what I'd do. But then you ask people, 0:10:43.196 --> 0:10:45.756 You ask if other people would do that, and we think, oh, no, 0:10:45.876 --> 0:10:48.116 other people would wouldn't do that. And it's not like 0:10:48.236 --> 0:10:51.596 we think we're better than other people. It's just that 0:10:52.076 --> 0:10:55.116 the two questions don't even overlap. It's almost as that 0:10:55.156 --> 0:10:57.436 we've got a different circuit in our brain reflecting on 0:10:57.516 --> 0:11:00.916 how we would behave or reflecting on how we think 0:11:00.956 --> 0:11:01.996 somebody else will behave. 0:11:02.476 --> 0:11:04.516 And this is a challenge for the organization that we've 0:11:04.516 --> 0:11:07.276 been working with give directly. Their philosophy is like, we're 0:11:07.316 --> 0:11:09.876 just going to give people money directly and let them 0:11:09.916 --> 0:11:12.276 do with it what they want. That people in need 0:11:12.356 --> 0:11:14.316 have the best ideas about how to spend their money 0:11:14.356 --> 0:11:16.876 to make their situation better. But a lot of the 0:11:16.916 --> 0:11:19.596 folks who are thinking about giving to give directly often 0:11:19.676 --> 0:11:22.356 have the following problem, which is like, are people really 0:11:22.396 --> 0:11:23.836 going to know what to do with the money? Are 0:11:23.876 --> 0:11:25.516 they going to do something bad? Are they going to 0:11:25.516 --> 0:11:28.316 buy something frivolous or something like that. It seems like 0:11:28.356 --> 0:11:31.876 people just don't trust people to make the best decisions, 0:11:31.916 --> 0:11:33.516 And I feel like this is part of the same 0:11:33.916 --> 0:11:36.716 kind of bias we have as undercover economists. How do 0:11:36.796 --> 0:11:38.556 you think of this bias and where what are we 0:11:38.596 --> 0:11:39.036 doing wrong? 0:11:39.236 --> 0:11:41.716 Give the economists some credit. We definitely trust people to 0:11:41.756 --> 0:11:45.716 make decisions in their own interests. There are cases where 0:11:45.716 --> 0:11:49.156 you might go, look, the money is only useful if 0:11:49.196 --> 0:11:52.796 it's coordinated, So actually, what this village really needs is 0:11:52.836 --> 0:11:56.436 a bridge or a well. But in general, people are 0:11:56.516 --> 0:11:59.036 going to be good stewards of their own money, and 0:11:59.076 --> 0:12:01.396 they're going to be good judges of how to spend 0:12:01.396 --> 0:12:05.036 that money because there's so much they know about their situation, 0:12:05.756 --> 0:12:09.876 about the context, and about their own ambitions that nobody 0:12:09.916 --> 0:12:11.996 else can know. And if you give them money, then 0:12:12.036 --> 0:12:15.676 you're putting them in the best possible position to take 0:12:15.716 --> 0:12:19.076 advantage of their own context and to fulfill their own ambitions. 0:12:19.436 --> 0:12:23.836 We're sort of trained to believe that if somebody really 0:12:23.876 --> 0:12:28.356 needs a handout, that must be because they lack judgment, 0:12:28.396 --> 0:12:31.036 that they have made many poor decisions in the past, 0:12:31.036 --> 0:12:35.596 otherwise they wouldn't need a handout. But in somewhere like Cameroon, 0:12:36.556 --> 0:12:38.996 it's definitely not true. There are lots and lots of 0:12:38.996 --> 0:12:43.116 people in really difficult situations in many countries in the world, 0:12:43.236 --> 0:12:46.596 and absolutely not because of any bad decisions that they 0:12:46.636 --> 0:12:49.196 themselves have made. So I think we need to shake 0:12:49.236 --> 0:12:51.716 off this idea that if someone needs if someone needs 0:12:51.716 --> 0:12:55.276 a handout, then by definition they can't be trusted with 0:12:55.396 --> 0:12:57.716 the handout. We've kind we've got to break out of 0:12:57.756 --> 0:12:58.836 that because that's just nonsense. 0:12:59.236 --> 0:13:02.156 So even an economist says that giving is good for us. 0:13:02.676 --> 0:13:04.956 If you want to put that advice into effect right away, 0:13:05.196 --> 0:13:08.236 then consider giving to the Pods Fight Poverty campaign, Just 0:13:08.276 --> 0:13:12.116 go to Give Directly or slash Happiness Lab. The next 0:13:12.116 --> 0:13:14.556 podcaster to share a story on the power of giving 0:13:14.916 --> 0:13:16.356 is an old friend of the show. 0:13:16.676 --> 0:13:18.156 First of all, it's great to see you again. 0:13:19.476 --> 0:13:23.756 A minute and hes yeah. Army veteran JR. Martinez was 0:13:23.796 --> 0:13:26.476 badly wounded in Iraq when the humpy he was driving 0:13:26.596 --> 0:13:30.956 hit a roadside bomb. Forced to end his military service, Jr. 0:13:31.116 --> 0:13:34.716 Entered a dark chapter, but he eventually fought back, building 0:13:34.756 --> 0:13:37.676 a series of new careers, first as a TV actor, 0:13:38.036 --> 0:13:40.916 then as a Dancing with the Stars champion, and finally 0:13:40.956 --> 0:13:44.876 as the host of the inspiring podcast Medal of Honor. Jr. 0:13:44.996 --> 0:13:47.116 Is a big fan of giving back. He's done an 0:13:47.156 --> 0:13:50.316 incredible amount of service for the veteran community. But today 0:13:50.476 --> 0:13:52.716 he asked to share a story not of giving, but 0:13:52.756 --> 0:13:56.596 of receiving, specifically of receiving a life changing gift that 0:13:56.676 --> 0:13:58.236 he didn't even know he needed. 0:13:58.676 --> 0:14:02.676 In two thousand and nine, I was asked to do 0:14:02.796 --> 0:14:06.556 the auction for a veteran's golf outing and it was 0:14:06.596 --> 0:14:09.476 going to benefit a nonprofit set up to help you know, 0:14:09.596 --> 0:14:12.196 service members and their families. And immediately I was like, 0:14:12.236 --> 0:14:14.676 of course, now I'm not an auctioneer, but I'm sure 0:14:14.716 --> 0:14:16.636 I'll get up there and you know, try to do 0:14:16.676 --> 0:14:19.036 my best. And I was like, well, what are some 0:14:19.036 --> 0:14:21.556 of the auction items? And they said this, this, this, this, 0:14:21.916 --> 0:14:25.036 and a puppy And so they bring out the puppy. 0:14:25.236 --> 0:14:28.996 He's eight weeks old black lab and I hold him 0:14:29.436 --> 0:14:34.716 and I feel this like connection. I'm financially going through 0:14:35.356 --> 0:14:39.996 my budget as a you know, twenty seven year old 0:14:40.036 --> 0:14:43.116 of like, how much could I bid on this puppy? 0:14:43.196 --> 0:14:44.996 The max was like I could probably do like six 0:14:45.116 --> 0:14:48.756 hundred bucks, like that's the absolute max. So we get 0:14:48.756 --> 0:14:52.076 there and immediately like that number has surpassed, Like it 0:14:52.156 --> 0:14:54.596 We're not sex hundred. That number has moved on. And 0:14:54.636 --> 0:14:58.436 so I'm holding the next auction item, this quilt, and 0:14:58.516 --> 0:15:02.316 I'm ready to move it along, and a lady raises 0:15:02.356 --> 0:15:05.556 her hand that bitted on the dog and says, may 0:15:05.596 --> 0:15:08.196 I say something? So we're like, of course, So she 0:15:08.276 --> 0:15:10.716 comes up to the state. She says, we love animals, 0:15:10.716 --> 0:15:13.516 we love dogs. We love this dog, we love this cause, 0:15:14.116 --> 0:15:17.196 but unfortunately we have you know, pets at home, so 0:15:17.316 --> 0:15:19.796 there's no room for this sweet dog at our house. 0:15:20.476 --> 0:15:21.756 And she says, so we. 0:15:21.676 --> 0:15:24.316 Want to give them give him to j R. And 0:15:24.396 --> 0:15:27.196 I'm like that quill, like I'm just like now using 0:15:27.276 --> 0:15:30.596 it to like wipe all the tears and the snot 0:15:30.636 --> 0:15:31.156 and everything. 0:15:31.196 --> 0:15:32.036 And I'm in shock. 0:15:32.676 --> 0:15:35.676 I was still going through my stages of you know, 0:15:35.836 --> 0:15:38.516 like I was mad and I was navigating a lot 0:15:38.516 --> 0:15:43.116 of emotional things and they give him to me and 0:15:43.276 --> 0:15:47.476 I take him home and Laurie, I mean, he helped 0:15:47.516 --> 0:15:50.356 me heal and he was my he was my companion 0:15:50.396 --> 0:15:54.156 in all these stages of life that I navigated, and 0:15:54.236 --> 0:15:57.636 I'm just forever like grateful And every time I would 0:15:57.676 --> 0:16:01.476 see the couple that that did that gesture for me, 0:16:02.276 --> 0:16:04.116 I mean, as you can imagine, I always felt forever 0:16:04.196 --> 0:16:06.996 indebted to them because of you know, what they gave 0:16:07.036 --> 0:16:09.796 to me and the gift they gave to me. And 0:16:10.036 --> 0:16:12.396 when he passed, it was one of the hardest things 0:16:12.436 --> 0:16:13.876 that I've experienced in my life. 0:16:13.996 --> 0:16:15.356 What was his name, Romeo? 0:16:16.596 --> 0:16:21.356 And I remember like I named him Warrior because I 0:16:21.396 --> 0:16:23.596 was like, well, it's for wounded warriors. You know, this 0:16:23.676 --> 0:16:25.996 is the you know, the mid twenties kid, you know 0:16:26.196 --> 0:16:29.316 guy naming the dog, you know, And I was like, warrior, Yeah, 0:16:29.316 --> 0:16:30.636 you're a warrior. Then I was like, what am I 0:16:30.636 --> 0:16:31.236 going to call you for? 0:16:31.316 --> 0:16:31.916 Short war? 0:16:32.036 --> 0:16:34.756 And I was like, well, I don't know. I started 0:16:34.796 --> 0:16:36.916 noticing this pattern where people would see him and they 0:16:36.916 --> 0:16:40.676 would just like gravitate to him, and I was like, ah, 0:16:40.756 --> 0:16:44.436 you're no warrior, You're a Romeo. And every time I 0:16:44.436 --> 0:16:46.516 would look at him, no matter what stage of life 0:16:46.556 --> 0:16:51.476 that I was in, his look just always reminded me 0:16:51.516 --> 0:16:54.036 to just be just to be present, just to be 0:16:54.596 --> 0:16:57.596 with him, just to be with the environment. Can't tell 0:16:57.636 --> 0:16:58.996 you how many times I would take him to the 0:16:59.036 --> 0:17:01.556 park and we would just sit at the park, just 0:17:01.596 --> 0:17:02.036 he and I. 0:17:02.316 --> 0:17:04.396 It also seemed like you didn't realize at that moment 0:17:04.436 --> 0:17:06.796 that you really needed this kind gift, but then when 0:17:06.796 --> 0:17:08.876 it came in your life, it really changed it. 0:17:09.356 --> 0:17:12.676 I had no clue. I had absolutely no clue that 0:17:12.716 --> 0:17:14.276 this is what I needed. As much as I was 0:17:14.276 --> 0:17:17.156 sitting here budgeting like how much can I realistically afford 0:17:17.236 --> 0:17:19.316 to bid on this dog? I was then thinking about 0:17:19.556 --> 0:17:22.156 my life is busy, I can't have a dog right now, 0:17:22.196 --> 0:17:24.076 Like who's going to watch the dog for me when 0:17:24.116 --> 0:17:26.436 I'm when I have to travel? There were all these 0:17:26.676 --> 0:17:29.876 reasons why I also couldn't have one, and then the 0:17:29.996 --> 0:17:32.476 universe said, this is what you need and gave it 0:17:32.516 --> 0:17:34.516 to me. And guess what I figured it out. 0:17:34.716 --> 0:17:36.276 I mean, I don't know how much folks ended up 0:17:36.316 --> 0:17:38.556 spending on Romeo. It was clearly more than your six 0:17:38.636 --> 0:17:40.836 hundred bucks that you're going to spend, you know, But 0:17:41.116 --> 0:17:43.956 my guess is, whatever they spent, it actually wasn't as 0:17:44.076 --> 0:17:46.556 much as you wound up getting out of Romeo. Like 0:17:46.596 --> 0:17:48.796 the act of doing something nice for somebody has these 0:17:48.836 --> 0:17:51.836 like incredible returns, like this huge return on investment that 0:17:51.876 --> 0:17:53.756 we just don't often realize. 0:17:53.316 --> 0:17:54.116 One hundred percent. 0:17:54.436 --> 0:17:57.996 If Romeo was here today and someone offered five hundred 0:17:58.036 --> 0:18:00.836 times more than what they spent, when I take it, 0:18:01.836 --> 0:18:06.956 absolutely not, absolutely not. There is no price that I 0:18:06.956 --> 0:18:09.076 can put on that gesture of what they did for me. 0:18:09.756 --> 0:18:12.996 That's the place we got to operate from. Do give, 0:18:13.436 --> 0:18:16.116 even if we never necessarily get to understand the full 0:18:16.316 --> 0:18:17.236 impact that it had. 0:18:18.036 --> 0:18:20.036 And if you want to follow Jr's advice to do 0:18:20.356 --> 0:18:22.756 and to give then here's the url where you can 0:18:22.796 --> 0:18:26.676 donate to the Pods Fight Poverty campaign. It's GiveDirectly dot 0:18:26.796 --> 0:18:30.196 org slash Happiness Lab. It's time for a quick break, 0:18:30.396 --> 0:18:32.716 but we'll return with the story of a world famous 0:18:32.756 --> 0:18:35.436 author who carries cash for strangers in need and a 0:18:35.476 --> 0:18:38.116 scientist who has seen the first hand benefits of an 0:18:38.196 --> 0:18:42.356 unexpectedly kind word. The Happiness Lab special episode on the 0:18:42.396 --> 0:18:48.756 power of giving will return in a moment. Welcome back 0:18:48.756 --> 0:18:52.476 to the Happiness Lab Special Giving Tuesday episode. In the 0:18:52.476 --> 0:18:55.716 spirit of my favorite charitable holiday, I'm chatting with my 0:18:55.756 --> 0:19:00.276 favorite podcasters about their personal stories of generosity. Our goal 0:19:00.316 --> 0:19:02.276 is to remind you that one of the quickest ways 0:19:02.276 --> 0:19:05.196 to feel happier yourself is to give a little happiness 0:19:05.316 --> 0:19:08.716 back to somebody else. Next up, we have Michael Lewis. 0:19:09.116 --> 0:19:11.716 I'm best selling author of Moneyball and The blind Side 0:19:11.956 --> 0:19:14.876 and host of the award winning podcast Against the Rules. 0:19:15.476 --> 0:19:17.876 Michael wanted to share a new strategy he's been using 0:19:18.156 --> 0:19:20.316 to make it as easy as possible for him to 0:19:20.356 --> 0:19:21.716 do good for people in need. 0:19:22.356 --> 0:19:22.956 I made a. 0:19:22.916 --> 0:19:26.436 Decision to always carry a bunch of ten dollars bills 0:19:26.436 --> 0:19:29.476 with me so that if I see anybody who asked 0:19:29.476 --> 0:19:32.636 me for money, I just automatically give them ten dollars 0:19:33.116 --> 0:19:34.116 people on the streets. 0:19:34.236 --> 0:19:36.156 So I started doing it, and so how does it feel? 0:19:36.396 --> 0:19:40.676 So it is completely true that when you give something 0:19:41.076 --> 0:19:42.716 to someone else you feel good. 0:19:43.116 --> 0:19:43.956 Totally feels good. 0:19:44.276 --> 0:19:47.316 But years ago, when I was working on the blind 0:19:47.356 --> 0:19:50.996 Side the Christian family, the dad and the family said 0:19:51.116 --> 0:19:54.156 to me something in passing about giving that I've never 0:19:54.156 --> 0:19:56.076 been able to get out of my head. When I 0:19:56.156 --> 0:19:58.116 hit a little bump in my mind about giving, it's 0:19:58.116 --> 0:20:01.716 a touchdown for me, and it's if it doesn't hurt 0:20:01.716 --> 0:20:04.116 a little bit, you haven't given enough. I thought that 0:20:04.236 --> 0:20:07.356 was a cool idea. And so you know, it's not 0:20:07.436 --> 0:20:09.916