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So make sure you 11 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,840 Speaker 1: download the Draft Kings Sports Book app and use promo 12 00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: code t BATC. 13 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,640 Speaker 2: Wake that ass up in the morning. 14 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:41,320 Speaker 1: The Breakfast Club. Morning, everybody, It's the j n V. 15 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: Charlamagne to God. We are the Breakfast Club. You got 16 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,559 Speaker 1: a special guest in the building now, this is a 17 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,320 Speaker 1: special special yes, Jada Pinkett Smith. 18 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 3: Welcome, Thank you, thank you, thank you. 19 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:51,600 Speaker 1: How are you feeling this morning? 20 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 3: I'm feeling good. 21 00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 2: You're glowing good. 22 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 3: Thank you. Yeah, you know, life is good even in 23 00:00:57,560 --> 00:01:02,320 Speaker 3: the chaos. I mean, life is yeah, that's what it is. 24 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, so you just get in 25 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 3: harmony with that. 26 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,039 Speaker 2: That's interesting, you said, I could always be wondering, like, Yo, 27 00:01:08,440 --> 00:01:11,520 Speaker 2: are we ever going to find peace on this planet? 28 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,559 Speaker 2: Or do we just exist within the chaos? The chaos 29 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 2: is normal? 30 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:19,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, you know, just in my journey, I've 31 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 3: just been discovering that you kind of have to just 32 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 3: rise above it, right, because the world is going to 33 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:27,839 Speaker 3: be what it's going to be, right. I actually think 34 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 3: that the world is a university, you know, to teach 35 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 3: us how to transcend it. Yeah, and so yeah, you 36 00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,839 Speaker 3: just you got to make peace with what this world 37 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:42,319 Speaker 3: is about. But I don't think that this place is 38 00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 3: our sanctuary. I actually think, you know, ascending it and 39 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:50,520 Speaker 3: going into more of the spiritual spiritual places, you know, 40 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,400 Speaker 3: and just kind of understanding living your life from there 41 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 3: within the world. I mean, that's what they say, you know, 42 00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 3: be in it, but not of it. 43 00:01:57,760 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 1: You ever get tired of it? Though, because you've been 44 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 1: on this on this tour for a while, and you're 45 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: very big on energy and vibrations, and sometimes I'm sure 46 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:07,720 Speaker 1: the energy and vibrations have been all over the place, 47 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: but it seems like you've been on tour, yeah, for 48 00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: a long time, you ever get tired of it? Like 49 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: now enough's enough? 50 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 3: Now, you know. I just I think that if I 51 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:21,760 Speaker 3: put myself in that frame of mind and I just 52 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 3: bring myself a level of discomfort, that's not necessary, right, 53 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 3: You just go it is what it is, So how 54 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 3: are you going to step up to the moment? And 55 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 3: that's it? You know, That's just what it is. And 56 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 3: so that's where I find my piece. 57 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 2: Since the release of this book, what is your ego 58 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:41,880 Speaker 2: been telling you? 59 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 3: My ego? My ego has been telling me to let go, 60 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 3: you know, because it takes a lot of courage to 61 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,239 Speaker 3: sin in your truth, takes a lot of courage, takes 62 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 3: a lot of courage to be happy. So when you're 63 00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:10,120 Speaker 3: walking through the world and you're dismantling ideas, you know, 64 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:15,160 Speaker 3: you kind of have to in that dismantle you just 65 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,400 Speaker 3: kind of have to let go of everything that you 66 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,679 Speaker 3: thought you were, everything that you're trying to be, and 67 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 3: just flow right, just let whatever is presenting itself just 68 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 3: kind of be what it is, you know, but you 69 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 3: definitely gotta let go. So it's been a real test 70 00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:42,320 Speaker 3: in regards to trust, you know, just can't trust the 71 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 3: ego in that way anymore. But you know that's a process. 72 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,120 Speaker 3: So as I'm dismaying, so you go from one ego 73 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 3: state to the next, right, so it just gets it 74 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 3: just gets uh, it just gets smaller, I guess, you know. 75 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 3: But the egos always going to be that. So you know, 76 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 3: you just kind of learn how to make friends with 77 00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,520 Speaker 3: your ego and have it work for you in a 78 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 3: different way, for different purpose. Right. So that's what I'm 79 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 3: working with right now. 80 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: Has this truth helped your relationship with friends, family, and 81 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: even your marriage? Has this truth and all the things 82 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,960 Speaker 1: that came out or did it make things worse? 83 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 3: Oh? No, See I didn't. I didn't step into this, 84 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:32,920 Speaker 3: walk into my situation with my friends, my family, and 85 00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 3: specifically Will was tight right because I already knew how 86 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 3: disruptive it was going to be. So I had to 87 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:47,280 Speaker 3: make sure that my inner circle was tight, right, so 88 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,440 Speaker 3: that we could walk this together hand in hand. Right. 89 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,560 Speaker 3: So it's actually, you know, specifically for Will and I, 90 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:57,680 Speaker 3: it's definitely brought us closer. It's so funny how crisis 91 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 3: will do that, you know what I mean? Yeah, you 92 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:05,360 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. So that's the thing about Will 93 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 3: and I's just like we just learn more and more 94 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 3: as we go that this is what we were built 95 00:05:12,240 --> 00:05:17,359 Speaker 3: to do, you know, with each other, you know, and 96 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 3: to walk together. And you know, just like any long 97 00:05:20,600 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 3: term relationship, it goes through it's shit, of course, you know, 98 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:29,800 Speaker 3: and so you gotta take your time. I really had 99 00:05:29,839 --> 00:05:36,040 Speaker 3: to grow emotionally. I hadn't realized how emotionally immature I was, 100 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. And so that's the thing 101 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 3: about long term relationships that are fantastic if you can 102 00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:47,280 Speaker 3: just hang in there, because it's going to force you 103 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,839 Speaker 3: to step your game up if you want to be happy, 104 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,640 Speaker 3: you know. And so Will has been one of my 105 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 3: greatest teachers on my journey, you know, because I've been 106 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,719 Speaker 3: forced to have to do with my stuff, you know. 107 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:06,599 Speaker 1: What stuff because you said you're immature. What immaturity do 108 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 1: you see when you look at yourself? 109 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,720 Speaker 3: Well, I would say, you know, about seven years ago, 110 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:16,760 Speaker 3: just when you're just hanging onto these romantic ideas of 111 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,560 Speaker 3: what marriage should be, what your partner should be for you, 112 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:23,800 Speaker 3: so that you don't have to be the thing for yourself, 113 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,000 Speaker 3: like when you keep banging on somebody like, no, I 114 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,279 Speaker 3: need you to show up this way because I need 115 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 3: to feel a certain way about myself. Right, That in 116 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:37,320 Speaker 3: itself is just like hold up, you want somebody else 117 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,279 Speaker 3: to be something for you that you're not willing to 118 00:06:39,279 --> 00:06:41,680 Speaker 3: be for yourself. First of all, how do you call 119 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:46,800 Speaker 3: that love? You know? And I had to like step 120 00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:51,359 Speaker 3: away to really realize that, you know, and so me 121 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 3: get myself in alignment and just realizing like, yo, Jada, 122 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,560 Speaker 3: you got a lot of work to do, and then 123 00:06:57,640 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 3: doing that work and then being able to present myself 124 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 3: self with more of myself, and then being able to 125 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:07,520 Speaker 3: see Will as who he is and just accept him 126 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,479 Speaker 3: and love him. 127 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 2: There, that's what I think is lost, you know in 128 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 2: the book. If you haven't read the book, like you 129 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 2: think all the convos about Tupac and Will distracted from 130 00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 2: what this book really has to offer. 131 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 3: Because I do, yeah, And I knew that. I knew. 132 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 3: I knew it was going to be a lot of distractions, right, 133 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,160 Speaker 3: And I was like, hopefully this book will have legs 134 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 3: so that once all of the you know, the chatter 135 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 3: dies down, we can get to the real components of 136 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 3: the book. Now, people who've actually read the book are 137 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 3: on it, right, they see that, so the journey of 138 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 3: healing it's a journey of. 139 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 2: His It's a journey of somebody trying to find their worthiness, 140 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 2: which is you know, all of us have instruggled with 141 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 2: that impost syndrome, not feeling worthy. If you read the book, 142 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 2: you see somebody really laying it out in detail, the 143 00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:56,080 Speaker 2: journey to get to that place. 144 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 3: Of worthiness, and it's a universal struggle, you know, we 145 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,400 Speaker 3: all do it in a different way, right, It's a 146 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 3: universal struggle. And so yeah, that's I really wanted to 147 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 3: lay that out in the way that I did, especially 148 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 3: once again just dismantling these ideas of perfection, you know, 149 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:20,160 Speaker 3: because we also have these societal romantic ideas of what 150 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 3: somebody in my position, what my life should look like, 151 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 3: who I should be within it, you know what I'm saying. 152 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,160 Speaker 3: And it's like, no, no, no, Like real life is 153 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,320 Speaker 3: real life, no matter what station you sit in at period. 154 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,960 Speaker 3: You know, do you regret leading with a lot of 155 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:39,079 Speaker 3: that stuff, leading with a lot of to. 156 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,920 Speaker 2: Talk about will to talk about pop because you know 157 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,040 Speaker 2: those just became sound bites and headlines on the internet 158 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 2: clips that. 159 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 3: You know, it's so difficult because when you're dealing with media, 160 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 3: that's that's that's what that's what people want to attach 161 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 3: to people not interested. You know, that's not the clickbait 162 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,000 Speaker 3: or any part of it. The clickbait is, you know, 163 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,559 Speaker 3: the tupac, the will, you know. So you got to 164 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 3: kind of get past the clickbait where people get exhausted 165 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 3: with that and that dies down and then people can 166 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:17,320 Speaker 3: get with the real But it's hard to avoid it. Honestly, 167 00:09:17,679 --> 00:09:18,679 Speaker 3: it's hard to avoid it. 168 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,320 Speaker 1: When did you get to a point where you knew 169 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:22,959 Speaker 1: that's what you needed, right because we look at your 170 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,679 Speaker 1: life and we see the wedding, we see the trips, 171 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,360 Speaker 1: we see all of that. When did you realize and say, 172 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 1: I need to fix this because this isn't right with me. 173 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 1: What was that moment? 174 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:40,440 Speaker 3: Augh I would say that I got slammed up against 175 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:49,720 Speaker 3: a wall, probably when I was really confronted with some 176 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:55,440 Speaker 3: really heavy suicidal thoughts, you know, when I was looking 177 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 3: for cliffs to drive over, you know, so that my 178 00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 3: suicide would look like an act so my kids wouldn't 179 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 3: think that I committed suicide. And I did a plant 180 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,640 Speaker 3: medicine journey ayahuasca. 181 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:12,319 Speaker 2: I can't wait. 182 00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:18,080 Speaker 3: Let me know when I got you, you know, it's 183 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 3: like and that that was a real awakening for me, 184 00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 3: you know, and I really had to be confronted with 185 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 3: my own shadow, my own self hatred, and it was 186 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 3: so strong and it was so scary. I was like, whoa, 187 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 3: I didn't I thought it was I didn't even want 188 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,839 Speaker 3: to be with that, and I'm like asking somebody else 189 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 3: to contend with that. That was the first moment that 190 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,160 Speaker 3: I realized, oh, Jada, you you got some stuff to 191 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 3: deal with. 192 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:51,400 Speaker 1: And what got you to that point? Because most people 193 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,200 Speaker 1: would look on the outside and be like, you know, 194 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:57,760 Speaker 1: she's rich, she's a movie star, stating another movie star, 195 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: she has beautiful kids. Your mom is still like it 196 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: looks like to the outside, the life is perfect. So 197 00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: what in that perfect life on the outside made you 198 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,720 Speaker 1: feel imperfect or made you not feel like this is 199 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: what I want. 200 00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:14,560 Speaker 3: It was like dealing with the foundational wounds, right. I 201 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 3: hadn't done, I hadn't dealt with. And that's what we 202 00:11:17,160 --> 00:11:20,440 Speaker 3: most of us don't even know what our foundational wounds are. 203 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 3: We don't even know we're foundationally wounded, right. And so 204 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 3: it started a childhood you know, you got two parents 205 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:32,719 Speaker 3: who are addicts, and you're not the priority, right, And 206 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:37,240 Speaker 3: then just the levels and just the trauma that gets 207 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 3: built upon what that environment. It's like, right, and you're 208 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 3: I thought that making it would heal it all. You know, 209 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 3: success takes care of everything, right, And then it was like, Okay, 210 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 3: made it to Hollywood, that's not it. And then I 211 00:11:56,320 --> 00:12:00,360 Speaker 3: met this fantastic guy and I was on this world 212 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 3: win of romance with Will, and I was like, he's 213 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:06,199 Speaker 3: gonna fix it. You know what I'm saying. He's gonna 214 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 3: He is the knight and shining armor, He's the savior Prince. 215 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 3: He's gonna fix it. So it went from one false 216 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 3: belief to the next. And I talk about trying to 217 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:20,079 Speaker 3: check all the boxes. It's like, checked all the fucking boxes. 218 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 3: What's left, right, and then having to realize, oh man, 219 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 3: oh yeah, you're not dealing with your stuff. That's what's left. 220 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 3: So it just goes to show that we can have 221 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 3: all of these exterior things, you know, but that's not 222 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:40,439 Speaker 3: the thing that's gonna heal the soul. 223 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,760 Speaker 2: You know. When I read your book, it makes me 224 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,040 Speaker 2: think all of that, and it makes me think of 225 00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 2: the quote your happiness is your response to responsibility. If 226 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 2: you expect others to make you happy, you will always 227 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 2: be disappointed. Do you agree? 228 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:59,000 Speaker 3: Absolutely? People can People can assist in your happiness, but 229 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 3: they can't make you happy. And I think a lot 230 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 3: of times that that we get caught up in those 231 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 3: romantic ideas that other things, other people's circumstances can make 232 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,760 Speaker 3: us happy, and it just doesn't work that way. They 233 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 3: can add to our happiness, you know, if we have 234 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 3: a foundational place within ourselves that can give us that happiness. 235 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 2: You know, it's interesting because you know, when we used 236 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,280 Speaker 2: to watch Red Table Talk, people would be like, who 237 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,600 Speaker 2: is Jada Jada Pinkett You take off the drug dealer, 238 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 2: Jada drug dealer energy? You know, I never, I never 239 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,280 Speaker 2: when I when I read that in the book, I 240 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 2: was like, Jada Pinkott Smith was in the streets like that. 241 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,720 Speaker 2: But when you walked in, I'm like, oh, I see it, 242 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 2: I see a little king. 243 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 3: I'm just trying to be comfortable. Sorry about that. 244 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 2: But when people used to watch Red Table Talk, they 245 00:13:57,160 --> 00:14:00,120 Speaker 2: be like, why who Why is Jada Pinkett Smith an 246 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:02,720 Speaker 2: expert at anything? But in the book you refer to 247 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 2: yourself as you said, you're a pseudo pseudo guru. Yeah, 248 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 2: you said in the field. Oh, it's in the feeling 249 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 2: of range chapter that you seem to often set yourself 250 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,079 Speaker 2: up to fall off the edge of high and mighty 251 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,720 Speaker 2: them you admit at the time you didn't know shit. 252 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,200 Speaker 2: Like why I talk to yourself. 253 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,960 Speaker 3: Like that, Well, because it's the truth, damn, you know. 254 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 3: And I think that when we're in, when we're really 255 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 3: on that game of healing, like the person that you 256 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 3: got to be the most honest with is yourself. And 257 00:14:35,320 --> 00:14:38,120 Speaker 3: a lot of times that that could be that that 258 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,200 Speaker 3: could be the most difficult when you really got to 259 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 3: look at yourself and realize, you know, where you thought 260 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,760 Speaker 3: you were something and now you realize that you ain't, 261 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 3: you know, And so yeah, you just got to learn 262 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:53,480 Speaker 3: how to be deeply honest with yourself. And as as 263 00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 3: I talk to myself that way, I can also hug 264 00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 3: myself in saying that, you know, can you off? 265 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 2: That's about the guarding lessons you learn from your grandmother, 266 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 2: because I thought. 267 00:15:02,720 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 3: That was, yeah, I mean, just the cultivation of love, 268 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 3: you know, and how you can take things that are 269 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 3: seemingly you know, you could take fish heads and apple peels, 270 00:15:15,960 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 3: you know, stuff that seems like trash and put it 271 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:24,680 Speaker 3: in the ground and fertilize the ground, right, and really 272 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 3: beautiful things will grow with us life too. You know, 273 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 3: we can take experiences that people might feel as though 274 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:37,000 Speaker 3: are unsavory or whatever, right, But it is those things 275 00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:40,520 Speaker 3: that if we use it to nourish, you know, those 276 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:44,960 Speaker 3: spaces of our hearts, spaces of our souls, they can 277 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:47,800 Speaker 3: be put to good use, you know, to make really 278 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:48,760 Speaker 3: beautiful things grow. 279 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,320 Speaker 1: Now you talk about love so much, and you talk 280 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: about how you felt at one time you are against marriage, right? Yeah? 281 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 1: Is that because you seen your parents in their relationship? 282 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: What changed your mind? 283 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:09,160 Speaker 3: Yeah? I think that was really Like I got to 284 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 3: see my grandparents who both said to grandparents had a 285 00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:19,560 Speaker 3: really long lasting marriage. But I wasn't quite sure that 286 00:16:19,560 --> 00:16:25,960 Speaker 3: it was the pinnacle of happiness, right. And so you know, 287 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:28,200 Speaker 3: when you're young, you're a free spirit, and I'm just like, no, 288 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 3: I can do this different, Like because I want to 289 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,800 Speaker 3: be happy. I'm not quite sure that's what happy is. Like, 290 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 3: how can I be in a relationship and be happy? 291 00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:39,880 Speaker 3: You know, I was all about the devotion of it, 292 00:16:39,960 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 3: but I wasn't quite sure that marriage was the thing, right, 293 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:53,440 Speaker 3: And it wasn't until maybe gotta be honest, like maybe 294 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 3: three years ago. 295 00:16:57,120 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 1: Three years ago, you've been married all this time. It wasn't. 296 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,320 Speaker 3: No, no, no no, Not that I wasn't happy, not 297 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 3: that I wasn't happy, but I got to see the 298 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,080 Speaker 3: power of marriage. 299 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,000 Speaker 1: Three years ago. 300 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:24,200 Speaker 3: I got to see the power not even well yeah 301 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:27,359 Speaker 3: and no, right, I got to see how marriage is 302 00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:33,479 Speaker 3: a it is a holy path for real, right, just 303 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:40,520 Speaker 3: in regards to learning about love, because it takes a 304 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 3: long time to break down all the different false beliefs 305 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:49,440 Speaker 3: that we have about love, right, and and the thing 306 00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:54,360 Speaker 3: about holy matrimony. And it's not to say that you're 307 00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,879 Speaker 3: not going to go through some unholy stuff, right, but 308 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 3: when two people are committed and just refuse to quit, 309 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 3: what you can learn about yourself, about your partner, and 310 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:14,640 Speaker 3: about love in general. You can't really learn by going 311 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:18,119 Speaker 3: from one relationship to the next, looking for the honeymoon 312 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:23,159 Speaker 3: stage over and over again, right, specifically, if you're interested 313 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:28,400 Speaker 3: in learning about unconditional love, you know. And so I 314 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:35,120 Speaker 3: was like, oh, snap, this is what it's about, you. 315 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:37,960 Speaker 1: Know, so three years ago, but like, what was that moment? 316 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:38,640 Speaker 1: Three years ago? 317 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:48,800 Speaker 3: I would probably say, when we'll going through the process 318 00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 3: of emancipation. And then once he finished emancipation and the 319 00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 3: stuff that started coming up right, and that's when he 320 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:08,560 Speaker 3: was like, hey, can we get back into some therapy together. 321 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:13,959 Speaker 3: And the stuff that was coming up for him and 322 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 3: the kind of conversations we were starting to have. I 323 00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:23,320 Speaker 3: was like, Okay, here we are. You know what I mean. 324 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:28,200 Speaker 3: I'm like, and everybody starts their journeys in different ways 325 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,560 Speaker 3: at different times, you know what I'm saying. But that's 326 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:35,480 Speaker 3: when I knew. I was like, okay. And then we 327 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,400 Speaker 3: went to the oscars and that whole thing happened and 328 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 3: it wasn't I didn't even think twice about it when 329 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 3: I saw what was happening, and I was like, I'm 330 00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:48,800 Speaker 3: not leaving this man's side. I'm not leaving this man's side. 331 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 2: Do you think up until the point of three years ago, 332 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,960 Speaker 2: do you think y'all had just more of a trauma ban. 333 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:03,439 Speaker 3: I would say yes, and no, I would say we 334 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 3: had a trauma bond, and then underneath of it there 335 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:14,000 Speaker 3: was this real deep friendship, this spiritual bond too, because 336 00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:17,119 Speaker 3: you can start breaking through your trauma and start talking 337 00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 3: through your trauma, and if it's just a trauma bond, 338 00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 3: once you start to heal and you start going your 339 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:28,200 Speaker 3: separate ways. It's done if it's just a trauma bond, right, 340 00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 3: But when you can feel that that spiritual bind once 341 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,840 Speaker 3: you're doing the healing, and that spiritual bind is just 342 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 3: yoking you tighter, then you know of something else, you know, 343 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 3: and you really have to have the discernment to know 344 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 3: the difference, you know what I'm saying, because sometimes you 345 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,240 Speaker 3: do just have a trauma bond with somebody and sometimes 346 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:53,960 Speaker 3: you just got to get away, you know what I'm saying, 347 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,439 Speaker 3: And so you gotta really like sit with yourself and 348 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 3: have the discernment to know the difference. 349 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 2: That's real, because sometimes you heal so much you be like, man, 350 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:05,080 Speaker 2: you look around like. 351 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,880 Speaker 3: That's real. Talk, yeah, straight out, because that's what we do, 352 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,880 Speaker 3: you know, It's like that. And that's part of it too, 353 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 3: you know, And that's part of why we have to 354 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,280 Speaker 3: have the courage because innately, you know, once you start healing, 355 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,280 Speaker 3: a whole lot is going to change. 356 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:23,919 Speaker 1: What were your thoughts on people? 357 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:24,119 Speaker 2: Right? 358 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 1: And the reason I ask is, you know one time, 359 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,200 Speaker 1: well he still lives. But Will Smith was america sweetheart, 360 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:33,280 Speaker 1: right from the music industry to the movies. Everybody loved Will. 361 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,920 Speaker 1: But after the oscars. It seems like the world and 362 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 1: even friends, I've seen new y'alls's changed and switched. So 363 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 1: what was going through your mind frame now? And how 364 00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: did you deal with that? 365 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:54,439 Speaker 3: Yeah? You know, so going back to these ideas of romanticism, right, 366 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,439 Speaker 3: when we talk about those societal romanticisms, you want to 367 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 3: believe that there's a there's a reality in regards to perfection. 368 00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:05,679 Speaker 3: You know that there is a place of perfection in 369 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:13,000 Speaker 3: this world, right, And so I really understood like that 370 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 3: dynamic because I went through that personally within myself, dealing 371 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:21,919 Speaker 3: with having to look at the imperfect parts of myself 372 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:31,200 Speaker 3: and not liking it and really being very disappointed, having 373 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 3: to really look at the imperfections of my relationship and 374 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:41,320 Speaker 3: not liking that, and being really disappointed in fighting against 375 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:47,320 Speaker 3: wanting to believe that the romantic idea of marriage and 376 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:53,800 Speaker 3: life did not exist. So I completely understood when masses 377 00:22:53,920 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 3: were just like upset, you know, that that what they 378 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:04,560 Speaker 3: believed was not true. You know, there's no there's no 379 00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,679 Speaker 3: such thing as that. It doesn't mean that there's not 380 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:11,719 Speaker 3: beauty there, you know, but expecting someone to uphold this 381 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:17,000 Speaker 3: level of perfectionism, you know, And and I understood, and 382 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:21,240 Speaker 3: so you have to allow people to go through their process, 383 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 3: just like how I had to go through my process, 384 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,719 Speaker 3: you know, to get to the other side of that. 385 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,000 Speaker 3: But the real deal is is that beauty that Will 386 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:32,080 Speaker 3: is all of those things y'all are. Yeah, you know, 387 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,720 Speaker 3: he's as beautiful as people believed him to be. But 388 00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:39,639 Speaker 3: yet he also has you know, his stuff too, like 389 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,680 Speaker 3: we all do, you know, but it doesn't make him 390 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:46,560 Speaker 3: any less of the beauty that you know he always 391 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,520 Speaker 3: wants to offer and the laughter. 392 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,480 Speaker 2: You know, you're saying the book that you and Will 393 00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 2: had pictures in your mind of what a happily married 394 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:58,960 Speaker 2: couple was, but your pictures didn't matter, do they ever? 395 00:23:59,160 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 2: And do they now? 396 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:05,280 Speaker 3: Well? They do? You know, you can get to a 397 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:08,640 Speaker 3: place so when you when you start to break down 398 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 3: and dismantle all of your false beliefs and you start 399 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:18,880 Speaker 3: to pare it all down to truth, and you two 400 00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,880 Speaker 3: can look at each other, you know, in the darkness 401 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:26,480 Speaker 3: of the cave and in the brightness of the sunshine 402 00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:34,960 Speaker 3: and accept it all and everything in between. Yes, you know, 403 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:42,200 Speaker 3: that's when you start to be able to have more 404 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:47,840 Speaker 3: compassion for one another, more respect for one another, more 405 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,680 Speaker 3: consideration for one another versus this power struggle of like, no, 406 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,679 Speaker 3: my way is the right way, you should see it? 407 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 3: My way? You know? No, no, no, my way is 408 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:58,480 Speaker 3: the right way. You know, all of that that we 409 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 3: all go through, and you start to see, oh man, 410 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 3: there's this yin and yang balance that needs to happen. 411 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:09,400 Speaker 3: Both ways are right, right, So how do we integrate them? 412 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:11,919 Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's like the intention and goal is what 413 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:14,600 Speaker 2: should matter the most, right. Absolutely, our intention is to 414 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:16,520 Speaker 2: have a happy marriage. Our goal is to happy happy marriage. 415 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,119 Speaker 2: So doesn't matter what you think about getting to that 416 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 2: happiness or what he thinks. As long as y'all both 417 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,080 Speaker 2: are trying to be happy, that's. 418 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,640 Speaker 3: It, right. But you have to you gotta break down 419 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 3: the egos, you know, two individuals have to be willing 420 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,000 Speaker 3: to break down the egos. And because when the ego's 421 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:33,679 Speaker 3: in place, there's no room for love. So if you 422 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:35,639 Speaker 3: really want to learn how to love, you gotta be 423 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:36,879 Speaker 3: willing to let go of that ego. 424 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,639 Speaker 2: Absolutely. One thing I love about the book is the 425 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,200 Speaker 2: title worthy because you know, for anybody who's ever dealt 426 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:45,359 Speaker 2: with in posta syndrome, who struggled to get to a 427 00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,280 Speaker 2: place of worthy, that title stands out. So what is 428 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 2: worthy to Jada. 429 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:53,320 Speaker 3: Pinkett Smith, you know, worthy is when you can really 430 00:25:53,320 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 3: be ten toes down on your self love, when you 431 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:05,359 Speaker 3: can be your own individual in regards to like you 432 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,399 Speaker 3: wake up in the morning by yourself. You look in 433 00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 3: the mirror and you are enough. Now, I know that's 434 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,840 Speaker 3: cliche because I used to I used to hate hearing 435 00:26:13,880 --> 00:26:16,880 Speaker 3: that stuff too, like, h you know, you're enough and 436 00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,760 Speaker 3: self love and all of that, But at the end 437 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,119 Speaker 3: of the day, that's what's real, you know. It's like 438 00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 3: when you know that you're enough, when you know when 439 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 3: you're in the deep darkest places you know of despair, 440 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:33,120 Speaker 3: and you're able to bring yourself up out of there 441 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 3: because of how you're loving on yourself and you don't 442 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:41,159 Speaker 3: need your husband, your wife, your kid, your best friend, 443 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 3: you don't need nothing. That's when you know. That's how 444 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 3: you build your self worth. And so that's what it 445 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,760 Speaker 3: means to me, you know, and having a really strong 446 00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 3: presence of self love and then you can share that 447 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 3: with others. You understand that you are worthy, that you 448 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,479 Speaker 3: are a gift that you can share that instead of 449 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:09,960 Speaker 3: looking for somebody to give you, you know, something give 450 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,000 Speaker 3: you their treasures so you can feel worthy. 451 00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 1: I always want to know what the with the Oscar situation? 452 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,960 Speaker 1: Did that save your marriage? And the reason I asked 453 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 1: that is, you know, I've been married twenty two years, 454 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 1: Charlomae's been married a long time. But in the household, 455 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,840 Speaker 1: especially in marriage, right, your wife will always be mad 456 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,879 Speaker 1: at you, right, but you can't be mad at him. 457 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,200 Speaker 1: I could be mad at him. I'm not going to 458 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:37,000 Speaker 1: let you tear him down down. Yeah, So did that 459 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,119 Speaker 1: save your marriage? 460 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 3: I would say what it definitely did is that it 461 00:27:45,119 --> 00:27:49,399 Speaker 3: accelerated what I think was already in the process. Right. 462 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:54,080 Speaker 3: It was in that moment that I knew. I was like, 463 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 3: oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no 464 00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 3: no no, We're gonna do this together. I'm gonna be 465 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:07,120 Speaker 3: by your side, and I know that I'll never I'll 466 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:11,000 Speaker 3: never leave your side. Right Because it's funny, because an 467 00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 3: emotional crisis, I didn't blink. I didn't blink. And that's 468 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:26,359 Speaker 3: when I knew, deep down inside, I'm like, you know 469 00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,440 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. It's like, and you there's no getting 470 00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:33,480 Speaker 3: away from him. You've been trying, you know, really you 471 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,760 Speaker 3: don't want to go nowhere? Stop it. And so it 472 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 3: was that incident that I knew right away. I knew 473 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:47,960 Speaker 3: right away. I was like, yo, we in it, you know, 474 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,080 Speaker 3: And so that was it. But I think that was 475 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:56,080 Speaker 3: the trajectory anyway. It just in an instant solidified it. Yeah. 476 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:58,880 Speaker 2: You know, if you know, if y'all have been separated 477 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:00,160 Speaker 2: all of these years, if you read the book, you 478 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,560 Speaker 2: realize that, right, And Will never said anything about it. 479 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,040 Speaker 2: Why did you feel now with the time to reveal 480 00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,520 Speaker 2: that information. Was it just to sell books like some 481 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:10,000 Speaker 2: people think. 482 00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 3: No, it's part of the process, you know. It was 483 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:22,160 Speaker 3: part of like part of my self worth journey, like 484 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:26,040 Speaker 3: I had to. Really, I was leaning on Will in 485 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 3: a lot of ways. And I think for women specifically, 486 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 3: how a lot of times our relationships are used to 487 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:42,960 Speaker 3: identify us, you know what I mean. And so I 488 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 3: thought that was a really important process and so much 489 00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:52,520 Speaker 3: a really important thing to talk about because so much 490 00:29:52,640 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 3: of my journey happened in that time when it was 491 00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 3: just me right, you know, And I think that and 492 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 3: I also wanted people to realize that sometimes marriages go 493 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:13,240 Speaker 3: through breaks like that, you know, And for people out 494 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 3: there who are thinking about, yo, should I just get separated? 495 00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:20,160 Speaker 3: Should I, you know, get a divorce. I'm like, man, 496 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,480 Speaker 3: just take time for you. Have the courage if you 497 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,280 Speaker 3: got the courage to sign divorce papers or you know, 498 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:29,120 Speaker 3: go to lawyers and get just have the courage to 499 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,400 Speaker 3: figure out how to just take time for you and 500 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:38,520 Speaker 3: then see what's showing up for you, right, Because sometimes 501 00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 3: divorce is the answer, sometimes legal separation is the answer. 502 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 3: But first and foremost, just take a year. Take a year, 503 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 3: see what shows up, you know, before you start going 504 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:56,000 Speaker 3: into like all these other processes. Because sometimes we can 505 00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 3: act so quickly out of anger and frustration and we 506 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:01,520 Speaker 3: just want to get away, and we think that's the answer, 507 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 3: you know, and in some cases it is, but in 508 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 3: some cases it's not. 509 00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 1: How did you feel when you talk about the truth, right, 510 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,840 Speaker 1: and you say a big reason of this book is 511 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:13,960 Speaker 1: you can help other people, other marriage, other couples that 512 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,760 Speaker 1: are dealing with it and don't know how to express 513 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,800 Speaker 1: it because they've never seen it, right. And the press 514 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,800 Speaker 1: and the public says, you know, Jada is embarrassing. Well, 515 00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:24,760 Speaker 1: and you just said you were doing it because you 516 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:26,200 Speaker 1: wanted to live in your truth. So what do you 517 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: say to those people that thought that it was just 518 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:32,440 Speaker 1: an embarrassing, embarrassing well and dehumanizing him, and take it 519 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 1: and take it as his masculine. 520 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 2: I want to quote Anne in the Borrow of the View, 521 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 2: she said, you are emasculating and embarrassing. 522 00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 3: Oh well, I think if she took time to read 523 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:46,400 Speaker 3: the book, you know, I think that if you want 524 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:54,360 Speaker 3: to try to kind of you, if you if you 525 00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 3: want to just read headlines, you know, I could see 526 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:04,800 Speaker 3: how that could be confusing, right, But the book is 527 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:06,960 Speaker 3: right here. You have two books you can read. Actually, 528 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,680 Speaker 3: you can read my book and Will's book, which is 529 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 3: so great that a lot of people are doing that, 530 00:32:12,400 --> 00:32:16,040 Speaker 3: you know. But people have the right to their opinions, 531 00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:20,880 Speaker 3: you know. And I always know that anybody who's saying 532 00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:26,400 Speaker 3: that hasn't really done their homework, you know. But you 533 00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:30,040 Speaker 3: got to expect it too, because of what the headlines are. 534 00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:34,840 Speaker 3: You know what clickbait is. So Will knows what it is. 535 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,320 Speaker 3: I know what it is, my kids know what it is. 536 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,080 Speaker 3: And more importantly, Great Supreme does too, right, And so 537 00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:47,400 Speaker 3: that's that's really, that's really all I'm concerned with. At 538 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:48,080 Speaker 3: the end of the day. 539 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 1: Do you keep a checklist of some of those people 540 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:50,760 Speaker 1: that or you just let it. 541 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:54,680 Speaker 3: Go, and yeah, I let it go. It's like, cause, 542 00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:57,800 Speaker 3: let me tell you I've been there. You know I've 543 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:59,440 Speaker 3: been there. It's like, I'm not gonna sit up here 544 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,000 Speaker 3: and act like I haven't. You know, I've been there. 545 00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:05,680 Speaker 3: That's like thinking I know, based on headlines, thinking I know, 546 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:10,560 Speaker 3: based on whatever. You know what I'm saying, So I 547 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,560 Speaker 3: have no judgment because I've been there. 548 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,440 Speaker 2: I want to ask you something about the headline thing. 549 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,520 Speaker 2: But you made me think of something because when you 550 00:33:16,520 --> 00:33:19,200 Speaker 2: were brought up Will's book, do you think I know, 551 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 2: nineties Hollywood was fantastic. It's one of my favorite areas. 552 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 2: I love every black king and queen from that area. 553 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:28,040 Speaker 2: But do you think nineties Hollywood helped or hurt y'all 554 00:33:28,040 --> 00:33:30,960 Speaker 2: as people? Because y'all had to keep up such an image. 555 00:33:31,160 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 2: Everything was an image, Everything was curated. I remember Will 556 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,920 Speaker 2: saying you couldn't even curse because of who he was. 557 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:38,960 Speaker 2: So y'all weren't really allowed to be your human selves. 558 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, we definitely weren't. We weren't allowed to be our 559 00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:47,479 Speaker 3: human selves. And not only that, you know, it was 560 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:51,440 Speaker 3: like blackness was accepted on screen, but off screen, the 561 00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,959 Speaker 3: more black you were the more isolated you were going 562 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 3: to be in regards to your opportunities in Hollywood, right, 563 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:04,880 Speaker 3: And so I do believe that that era in that way, 564 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:09,080 Speaker 3: you know, But and not even just us as as 565 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:12,280 Speaker 3: you know, the black community within Hollywood, Hollywood in itself, 566 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 3: because you're meant to live up to this ideal that 567 00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,759 Speaker 3: is not really realistic at all, you know, and so 568 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:24,799 Speaker 3: you know it can be challenging in that way. 569 00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:26,719 Speaker 2: Well, Will will have him Did you have problems from 570 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,920 Speaker 2: other black people? Because when you think about it, you 571 00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 2: and Will had a different level of success than a 572 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,399 Speaker 2: lot of your black peers. We even, like you said, 573 00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:35,160 Speaker 2: you was catching hell from the white folks, did you 574 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:36,920 Speaker 2: black folks black people start giving you hell to. 575 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:38,960 Speaker 3: You know, we weren't. I wouldn't say that we were 576 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,960 Speaker 3: catching hell from from anybody, right. It was just it's 577 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:49,880 Speaker 3: just the criteria of Hollywood, right, And you know, I 578 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:56,160 Speaker 3: don't catching hell versus like what is simmering beneath, you know, 579 00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:58,120 Speaker 3: because then you got the jealousy and you got the 580 00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:02,480 Speaker 3: you know, the envious. But that's all part of it 581 00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:04,640 Speaker 3: as well. I don't think that's unique. 582 00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 1: When Will was up here, he talked about being insecure 583 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,759 Speaker 1: a little bit about Tupac. Did y'all ever have that conversation? 584 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 1: Because as a man, when you're a little insecure, I 585 00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:17,239 Speaker 1: almost feel like you play both sides. You want to 586 00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:18,919 Speaker 1: be yourself, but you want to show that you're better 587 00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:21,719 Speaker 1: than the person that's making him insecure. You're tougher than, 588 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:25,560 Speaker 1: or smarter than, or more romantic than, or a poet 589 00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,759 Speaker 1: then a better rapper than. Did y'all ever have that conversation. 590 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:33,320 Speaker 3: I wouldn't say that we had conversations in that way. 591 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,239 Speaker 3: It was just like, you know, we came up in 592 00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:41,680 Speaker 3: the era where it was so unusual for a man 593 00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:45,480 Speaker 3: and a woman to be friends, right, I mean, really 594 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:50,040 Speaker 3: think about it, like that's more of an open idea now, right, 595 00:35:50,080 --> 00:35:53,800 Speaker 3: but just think in our era that was just like friends. 596 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:54,560 Speaker 1: They had to be dating. 597 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:59,400 Speaker 3: Yeah, like what what? Right? And so I think for 598 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:04,840 Speaker 3: him it was just like getting your mind around around that, 599 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,680 Speaker 3: you know, and that the kind of friendship that we 600 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:13,960 Speaker 3: had because we had such a you know, tight friendship 601 00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:18,840 Speaker 3: that you know, was very impactful on my life, you know. 602 00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:22,520 Speaker 3: So I think it was just getting the understanding around, 603 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:28,759 Speaker 3: you know that Tupac and I could be friends, you know, 604 00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 3: and that that he was a part of my life 605 00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:35,680 Speaker 3: in that way, and so just we had a lot 606 00:36:35,719 --> 00:36:39,000 Speaker 3: of conversations around just those ideas. 607 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:39,719 Speaker 1: How did he get over that? 608 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,919 Speaker 3: I think he just realized that. And I really can't 609 00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:47,719 Speaker 3: speak for Will. You should probably ask him when he 610 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 3: comes back, But I think he just realized that that's 611 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:53,480 Speaker 3: what it was, you know what I mean, it was like, 612 00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,400 Speaker 3: that's what it was. It's like, you know, that was 613 00:36:56,440 --> 00:37:00,160 Speaker 3: that beautiful friendship. And I think once he really and 614 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:04,880 Speaker 3: started as he got older, started having his own friendships 615 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,239 Speaker 3: with women, like, oh, that that is possible, and how 616 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:10,439 Speaker 3: are you with that? I'm listen. I always told Will 617 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:11,840 Speaker 3: you need some female friends? 618 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:13,239 Speaker 1: Did you yes? 619 00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:16,960 Speaker 3: Because I think I think I think men and women. 620 00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:21,440 Speaker 3: I think men do need female friends because and women 621 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,680 Speaker 3: need male friends. And I actually think men once they 622 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:26,320 Speaker 3: have daughters. 623 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,839 Speaker 2: I got four, I got four, and you got four 624 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,960 Speaker 2: daughters and majority female. 625 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:34,480 Speaker 1: There you go. 626 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,360 Speaker 3: But I see, I would now let me ask you 627 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 3: a question. Would you say that having daughters helped you understand? 628 00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,600 Speaker 3: And see? I think that's what happened to Will. I 629 00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:48,760 Speaker 3: think once Willow came, you know, and then he started 630 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:53,520 Speaker 3: to realize a different relationship with the feminine right, and 631 00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:57,160 Speaker 3: then he realized, oh wow, you know, you can have 632 00:37:57,239 --> 00:38:01,920 Speaker 3: relationships with women that are non sexual or however, y'all 633 00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:05,480 Speaker 3: have to, you know, manage that in your own minds. Right. 634 00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:10,760 Speaker 3: But I think once Willow came, she was his teacher 635 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:12,840 Speaker 3: on that for sure, and so he was able to 636 00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 3: have female friends. 637 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:15,680 Speaker 2: I want to ask you about some of your male friends. What, man, 638 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:17,279 Speaker 2: do you think had more of an impact on your 639 00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:18,640 Speaker 2: early life? 640 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:27,640 Speaker 3: Uh? Oh man, they both did in different ways. They 641 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:32,640 Speaker 3: both did in different ways. Yeah. I mean Chet taught 642 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:37,440 Speaker 3: me a whole lot. That was That was that was, 643 00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:40,520 Speaker 3: That was my dude. You know, Chet put me on 644 00:38:40,719 --> 00:38:43,800 Speaker 3: in a big way, you know, and through him I 645 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:47,839 Speaker 3: learned a lot, even lessons that I keep till this day, 646 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:51,880 Speaker 3: just like just being on the load, just you know 647 00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:55,879 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. And and then Pac, you know, Pac 648 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,759 Speaker 3: taught me about black power, you know, and so many 649 00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:02,759 Speaker 3: other things. But yeah, they both taught me so much 650 00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:03,399 Speaker 3: in different ways. 651 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,560 Speaker 2: Where chat Now Chet is in l A. 652 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:08,319 Speaker 3: Okay, okay, yeah, Chet is in l A. I brought 653 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:09,120 Speaker 3: him out to l A. 654 00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:11,440 Speaker 2: I heard, I heard he works for you. 655 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:12,560 Speaker 3: He works with me? 656 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:16,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. 657 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:17,440 Speaker 3: Once he once he got out. 658 00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:20,680 Speaker 2: You read the book, you understand, Yeah, works for you. 659 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:26,319 Speaker 3: Now, well he doesn't. He works with me. He once 660 00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:30,920 Speaker 3: he got out because he he did ten years. He 661 00:39:30,960 --> 00:39:35,960 Speaker 3: was supposed to do twelve, he did ten. And uh, 662 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,279 Speaker 3: he wanted he just wanted to. 663 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:39,600 Speaker 1: Change his life, That's right. 664 00:39:39,719 --> 00:39:44,080 Speaker 3: And I said, I got you, come on out. And 665 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:45,040 Speaker 3: so that's where he's been. 666 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:48,239 Speaker 2: You know how many people would would would completely turn 667 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:51,759 Speaker 2: their back on that part of their life. Oh yeah, no, no, 668 00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:54,759 Speaker 2: he wouldn't even look out for those individuals like. 669 00:39:55,239 --> 00:40:00,920 Speaker 3: Chat n like he was. He looked out for me 670 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:06,160 Speaker 3: in so many ways, you know, And so I I 671 00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:08,960 Speaker 3: couldn't do that. There's no way. And you know he's 672 00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:12,440 Speaker 3: got his HAFE lifestyle situation happening. You know, he's building 673 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,680 Speaker 3: his own you know what I'm saying, his own situation. 674 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:18,600 Speaker 3: But you know that's my dude. Like we we we 675 00:40:18,600 --> 00:40:20,760 Speaker 3: we've been through We've been through too much together. 676 00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,319 Speaker 2: And you talk about it in the Living the Dream 677 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:26,160 Speaker 2: chapter how you and Pac used to argue about the 678 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:30,640 Speaker 2: ways black men justified mistreating black women. You had the 679 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:34,080 Speaker 2: epiphany that you and Pac were arguing about the right 680 00:40:34,160 --> 00:40:35,440 Speaker 2: to feel love. 681 00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:40,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it was like and so this was during 682 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:48,319 Speaker 3: a time when we were both in Hollywood and just 683 00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:52,720 Speaker 3: trying to figure out, like, how is it that we're here, 684 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,879 Speaker 3: and just we both felt like once we made it, 685 00:40:56,320 --> 00:41:02,920 Speaker 3: we're gonna be straight. But when it came to you know, 686 00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,600 Speaker 3: just relationships and just like you know, I would get 687 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,640 Speaker 3: on them about certain lyrics and his music, and so 688 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:13,759 Speaker 3: we were in this power struggle about how black men 689 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:17,360 Speaker 3: should be treated, how black women should be treated. So 690 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:21,680 Speaker 3: I was coming from this position of my overall feeling 691 00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:24,759 Speaker 3: of lack of self worth. Pack was coming from a 692 00:41:25,160 --> 00:41:32,280 Speaker 3: position of his overall feeling of not feeling respected validated 693 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:38,000 Speaker 3: through you know, the feminine and me through the masculine. 694 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:41,239 Speaker 3: And it was, you know, on this broad conversation, but 695 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,200 Speaker 3: at the end of the day, it had everything to 696 00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:47,319 Speaker 3: do with how we felt about ourselves, you know, in 697 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:51,919 Speaker 3: our intimate lives when it came to men and when 698 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,040 Speaker 3: you know, and for him when it came to women, 699 00:41:54,960 --> 00:42:00,279 Speaker 3: and how it was being expressed in this debate around 700 00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:06,200 Speaker 3: cultural representation, you know what I'm saying. But at the 701 00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:08,879 Speaker 3: end of the day, we were really talking about ourselves. 702 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 2: You just want to be loved. 703 00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,840 Speaker 3: I just wanted to be loved. I just wanted to 704 00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:13,320 Speaker 3: be loved. 705 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:14,920 Speaker 2: You know, I wish we could lead with that. I 706 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,880 Speaker 2: think back, you know, we probably probably didn't have the 707 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,720 Speaker 2: language back then. So it's like now in a marriage, 708 00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:21,160 Speaker 2: you can say I just want us to be happy. 709 00:42:21,360 --> 00:42:23,040 Speaker 2: You can say I just want to be loved. Loved, 710 00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:25,200 Speaker 2: so we can let's let's focus on that. 711 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:27,879 Speaker 3: Right, how do we just learn how to love each other? 712 00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:31,839 Speaker 3: And I think what one of the biggest lessons that 713 00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:36,600 Speaker 3: I'm learning is that we're in the game of relating 714 00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:40,240 Speaker 3: of learning how to love. Like, expecting that people show 715 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:47,560 Speaker 3: up knowing how to do that is really a false idea, right, 716 00:42:47,760 --> 00:42:51,279 Speaker 3: It's like, we're learning how to love each other. So 717 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:52,960 Speaker 3: not only are we learning how to love each other 718 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:57,080 Speaker 3: in our homes, but even in the world. You know, 719 00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,480 Speaker 3: it's like, and the people who choose to lead with 720 00:43:00,560 --> 00:43:02,920 Speaker 3: love or choose to be willing to learn how to 721 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,279 Speaker 3: love cool, And they're gonna be people that that's not 722 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,359 Speaker 3: they don't want to, they're too afraid to, so they're 723 00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,319 Speaker 3: gonna lead with negativity. They're gonna leave and thinking that 724 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:13,719 Speaker 3: that's what gives them power and thinking that's what keeps 725 00:43:13,719 --> 00:43:17,759 Speaker 3: them safe. That's okay too, you know, It's like this 726 00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:21,160 Speaker 3: world is made of all things, so many things, and 727 00:43:21,200 --> 00:43:22,919 Speaker 3: you just gotta learn to accept it all. 728 00:43:23,200 --> 00:43:24,960 Speaker 1: Well, we do one thing about marriage. We have to 729 00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,840 Speaker 1: make sacrifices right for each other. Do you feel like 730 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,200 Speaker 1: your career would be a lot bigger if you didn't 731 00:43:30,200 --> 00:43:32,120 Speaker 1: make a lot of the sacrifice I remember Will's bookie 732 00:43:32,120 --> 00:43:34,120 Speaker 1: talked about that you made a lot of sacrifices for 733 00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,879 Speaker 1: his career, and there's a lot of things I'm sure 734 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:38,680 Speaker 1: that you passed up that you didn't do because you 735 00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:40,719 Speaker 1: were supporting him and taking care of home. Do you 736 00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:44,640 Speaker 1: feel like that. I guess you would be way bigg 737 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:46,759 Speaker 1: as an actress if you didn't make those sacrifices. 738 00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,200 Speaker 3: You know, I think that for me, that was never 739 00:43:50,280 --> 00:43:52,319 Speaker 3: my goal. And he used to ask me all the time, 740 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:54,160 Speaker 3: He's like, why don't you want to be the biggest, 741 00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,200 Speaker 3: you know, actress in the world. I'm like, I don't 742 00:43:56,239 --> 00:43:58,880 Speaker 3: want to. Thank God I didn't, because you can't. You know, 743 00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:01,960 Speaker 3: you know, you can't have a family and two people 744 00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:05,520 Speaker 3: trying to you know, I wanted to have a loving, 745 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,000 Speaker 3: tight knit family. I wanted to create the family that 746 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:12,120 Speaker 3: I never had. That was my goal. You know what 747 00:44:12,120 --> 00:44:14,919 Speaker 3: I'm saying. And so at the end of the day, 748 00:44:15,600 --> 00:44:19,479 Speaker 3: anything that I gave up, sure it was sacrifice for Will, 749 00:44:19,600 --> 00:44:22,759 Speaker 3: but was sacrifice for my family. And I got the 750 00:44:22,760 --> 00:44:25,839 Speaker 3: family I always wanted to have. So I would say 751 00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:30,080 Speaker 3: it was a sacred sacrifice. It was really sacred, you know, 752 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,800 Speaker 3: because I feel like in order to have some things 753 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:38,360 Speaker 3: that you really want, that's what it takes, you know, 754 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,560 Speaker 3: And so I have no regrets on that. 755 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,080 Speaker 2: Were you ever envious of Will's success? 756 00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:50,480 Speaker 3: Well, no, no. I at times wished that that might 757 00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:53,880 Speaker 3: not have been the focus all the time, you know. 758 00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:58,320 Speaker 3: But one thing I always admired about him was his drive, 759 00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,239 Speaker 3: you know. It was one of things I love about Will, 760 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,759 Speaker 3: you know, And so I was always cheering that on. 761 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:08,239 Speaker 3: But I never really wanted that. I'm not built like that. 762 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:11,239 Speaker 2: Because there was one part of the book when you 763 00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,520 Speaker 2: you were pitching a movie. I forgot what the movie was, 764 00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:18,160 Speaker 2: and the producer was like, only if Will chose not 765 00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:20,040 Speaker 2: to do it, and I was like, what that screens? 766 00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:22,359 Speaker 2: They ended up having a production company together anyway. 767 00:45:22,080 --> 00:45:25,400 Speaker 3: Absolutely, But at that particular point of time, being young 768 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:31,360 Speaker 3: and feeling like I didn't want anybody to feel that 769 00:45:31,360 --> 00:45:33,239 Speaker 3: that was how to get to will was through me. 770 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:36,680 Speaker 3: So if you if you let one person come in 771 00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:41,279 Speaker 3: that makes that request and you say yes, that's going 772 00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:44,799 Speaker 3: to open up the floodgates for everybody to think, Oh, 773 00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,440 Speaker 3: all you got to do is get with Jada and 774 00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:51,319 Speaker 3: then Will's coming, you know. And now, anytime will and 775 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:56,560 Speaker 3: I decided in our home that we were building a 776 00:45:56,600 --> 00:46:01,040 Speaker 3: project together that we wanted to do together, that was 777 00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:06,680 Speaker 3: our choice. No outside forces were gonna come in and 778 00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:10,440 Speaker 3: tell me you're not willing to work with me unless 779 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,479 Speaker 3: you have will You don't have that power, You don't 780 00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,839 Speaker 3: have that choice. Will and I decide that. So that's 781 00:46:17,880 --> 00:46:19,200 Speaker 3: why How. 782 00:46:19,080 --> 00:46:21,320 Speaker 1: Did the kids deal with everything that the ups and 783 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:24,399 Speaker 1: downs in your relationship, especially being so public? Right, because 784 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,080 Speaker 1: I remember when Willow released the single or with My 785 00:46:27,120 --> 00:46:30,760 Speaker 1: Hair right, and we didn't hear anything after that because 786 00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:33,319 Speaker 1: it almost felt like that wasn't her, Like she did 787 00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:35,879 Speaker 1: that for something else. And then when she came back out, 788 00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:38,359 Speaker 1: it was totally different than the child with My Hair 789 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,359 Speaker 1: back and forth. So how did the kids deal with 790 00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:42,240 Speaker 1: everything and being in that limelight? 791 00:46:42,560 --> 00:46:45,040 Speaker 3: You know? I talk a little bit about Willow's journey 792 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,920 Speaker 3: in the book because we had we were on a 793 00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:53,160 Speaker 3: parallel line. I mean, when she was eleven, she was 794 00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:57,120 Speaker 3: telling jokers no right strong with it too, just like no, 795 00:46:57,719 --> 00:46:59,759 Speaker 3: and I was kind of like no, you know it, 796 00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,720 Speaker 3: and I realized, like, yo, JD, you gotta get your noback. 797 00:47:03,640 --> 00:47:06,440 Speaker 3: Willo was teaching me how to get my noback, you 798 00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:12,760 Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. And so it's funny because they've 799 00:47:12,800 --> 00:47:18,000 Speaker 3: had their challenges, for sure, but it's they don't really 800 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:21,440 Speaker 3: get caught up in the will and Ie stuff. Like 801 00:47:21,520 --> 00:47:24,319 Speaker 3: even like when there was so much stuff going on, 802 00:47:25,239 --> 00:47:28,320 Speaker 3: we're not even on young people's timeline, you know what 803 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:30,640 Speaker 3: I'm saying. They're like, I don't know what the hell's 804 00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:34,399 Speaker 3: going on. Cool, I'm straight, I'm worried about this next 805 00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:38,120 Speaker 3: single I'm about to put out and this video mom 806 00:47:38,560 --> 00:47:43,160 Speaker 3: all as well, you know. And as far as their 807 00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:47,000 Speaker 3: own fame and dealing with their own stuff, they've really 808 00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:50,120 Speaker 3: have had to learn how to navigate that. And I 809 00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,520 Speaker 3: think part of that is just having come up in 810 00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:57,759 Speaker 3: the social media world. And so whether you have you know, 811 00:47:57,840 --> 00:48:01,839 Speaker 3: fifty followers or you got you know, twenty million followers, 812 00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:06,760 Speaker 3: young people have to figure out how to navigate having 813 00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:13,480 Speaker 3: all of these outside voices on their pages saying whatever, 814 00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:16,239 Speaker 3: they need to say. And I think that's just part 815 00:48:16,280 --> 00:48:22,839 Speaker 3: of that generational kind of navigation that all all young 816 00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:25,520 Speaker 3: people have to figure out and work through, and they've 817 00:48:25,560 --> 00:48:26,880 Speaker 3: done a really good job with it. 818 00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:30,359 Speaker 2: We don't know that, Jack, we don't know what. 819 00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:35,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, I was talking about Willow and Jaden. Yeah, they've 820 00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:36,839 Speaker 3: done a pretty good job. But you're right, we don't 821 00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,160 Speaker 3: know what the social impact is going to be. You're right. 822 00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:43,440 Speaker 2: How have your kids contributed to your journey of worthiness? 823 00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:52,720 Speaker 3: I would say they were I won't say the first, 824 00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:57,120 Speaker 3: but having my kids love me as hard as they 825 00:48:57,200 --> 00:49:02,640 Speaker 3: do unconditionally has just been so beautiful because not only 826 00:49:02,680 --> 00:49:06,279 Speaker 3: do they love me and embrace me as their mother, 827 00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:11,400 Speaker 3: but just as a woman on her journey, you know 828 00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:18,000 Speaker 3: what I mean. And throughout my life with them, like 829 00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:21,040 Speaker 3: Jaden was the one that if I when I was 830 00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:23,520 Speaker 3: in that crisis. Now he didn't know I was in crisis, 831 00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,400 Speaker 3: But Jaden just happened to come into the kitchen and 832 00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:30,040 Speaker 3: go mois Is and Materia out here talking about their 833 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:33,759 Speaker 3: dad who just did this freaking plant called ayahuasca. You 834 00:49:33,840 --> 00:49:34,680 Speaker 3: gotta come hear this. 835 00:49:34,880 --> 00:49:36,400 Speaker 2: And if people would have read the book, they wouldn't 836 00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:40,399 Speaker 2: have said Jaden introduced Yeah, ayahuasca. 837 00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:45,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, he had it in the backyard with a headlines. 838 00:49:45,200 --> 00:49:49,240 Speaker 3: Yeah. No, that's what I'm saying. It's like his friend's 839 00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,960 Speaker 3: father had done it and they were explaining it to Jaden. 840 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:56,960 Speaker 3: And then I talked to their dad, you know, who 841 00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:59,799 Speaker 3: I had known for a moment, and he came in 842 00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:03,600 Speaker 3: and you know, he was like this new this new guy, 843 00:50:03,640 --> 00:50:07,120 Speaker 3: and I was like, yo, I need that. And then 844 00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:12,520 Speaker 3: within a month there was a ceremony and and oh hi, 845 00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,400 Speaker 3: and I was there and I got my own healing, 846 00:50:16,880 --> 00:50:19,319 Speaker 3: you know. But it just goes to show you how 847 00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:23,000 Speaker 3: the universe works, you know. And so and then Trey, 848 00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:27,440 Speaker 3: my goodness that my love for him, you know, brought 849 00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:30,040 Speaker 3: me close to his mom so that he could have 850 00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:33,200 Speaker 3: She and I. I mean, and and Sharie has been 851 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:37,480 Speaker 3: such a great teacher for me, Enrico. She was probably 852 00:50:37,640 --> 00:50:44,360 Speaker 3: one of the first relationships where I had to really 853 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:51,120 Speaker 3: work on my ego, meaning like all this insecurities, all 854 00:50:51,200 --> 00:50:58,640 Speaker 3: of the like you know, competitive envy, jealousy, you know 855 00:50:58,840 --> 00:51:03,799 Speaker 3: of like nah, nah, this mine, you know what I mean, 856 00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,839 Speaker 3: and like, no, it's actually not you know, It's like 857 00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,680 Speaker 3: there's a Trey that's his mother and if you're gonna 858 00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:13,359 Speaker 3: love Trey, you're gonna have to learn to love her, 859 00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,359 Speaker 3: and you're gonna have to learn to embrace her as 860 00:51:15,440 --> 00:51:18,719 Speaker 3: family and her family in order to make a family 861 00:51:18,840 --> 00:51:21,759 Speaker 3: for Trey. So I had to let go of all 862 00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:28,319 Speaker 3: my stuff. And what a ride that was, you know, 863 00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:31,759 Speaker 3: like for real, for real, And so that was like 864 00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:32,759 Speaker 3: one of my first They. 865 00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:35,800 Speaker 2: Would always talk about how Will would go on vacation. 866 00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:39,719 Speaker 3: With just her, well not just her, No, no, not 867 00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:43,480 Speaker 3: like that. It would be like so for instance, when 868 00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:48,000 Speaker 3: he did his his book tour and he went to London, 869 00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:52,960 Speaker 3: so it was his mom and his sisters, and I 870 00:51:52,960 --> 00:51:55,680 Speaker 3: think Trey went and Tree, you know what i mean. 871 00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:58,400 Speaker 3: So they'll take trips and I'm not there. You know, 872 00:51:58,440 --> 00:51:59,880 Speaker 3: it's not to say it'll just be the two of 873 00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:04,480 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. But you know, she's family, 874 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:06,640 Speaker 3: so she's invited everywhere. 875 00:52:07,040 --> 00:52:09,520 Speaker 2: But even before y'all were separated, you never had no 876 00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:11,680 Speaker 2: insecurities about that when that would happen. 877 00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:16,279 Speaker 3: No, no, uh uh. It's very clear with the two 878 00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:20,680 Speaker 3: of them, there is nothing going on, like you know 879 00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:23,040 Speaker 3: what I'm saying, And sometimes you know, I mean they've 880 00:52:23,080 --> 00:52:26,359 Speaker 3: been married, so they've gone through that process of all 881 00:52:26,440 --> 00:52:28,280 Speaker 3: that so ain't nothing. 882 00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,200 Speaker 1: Most people would ask, how did you get over that? 883 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:32,279 Speaker 1: Because how do you get over the ex wife or 884 00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:35,440 Speaker 1: the ex girl or the baby mama? Like, how did 885 00:52:35,440 --> 00:52:37,160 Speaker 1: you get how did you say? You know what, I'm 886 00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:38,680 Speaker 1: gonna let this go. I'm not gonna let my ego. 887 00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:40,800 Speaker 1: We're not gonna see who the flies is thankgiving anymore. 888 00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:44,239 Speaker 1: We're not gonna see who cooks the best jerk chicken. Like, 889 00:52:44,239 --> 00:52:45,520 Speaker 1: We're not gonna go through that anymore. 890 00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:47,600 Speaker 3: She's gonna out cook me every time. I'm gonna just 891 00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:51,320 Speaker 3: put that on the table. But yeah, I mean because 892 00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:56,480 Speaker 3: you know there's Sharik, there's also Tayana who's his ex, 893 00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:58,960 Speaker 3: who you know is still in the circle as well. 894 00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:03,920 Speaker 3: And the's got well because Scottie his husband, her husband 895 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:07,960 Speaker 3: works with Will. Yeah, and I mean that that's just like, 896 00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:11,480 Speaker 3: you know, she was an important part of his journey 897 00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:15,279 Speaker 3: as well, and you gotta respect that. You gotta respect that. 898 00:53:16,920 --> 00:53:17,160 Speaker 1: You know. 899 00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:22,839 Speaker 3: It's like and there's no like all of this kind 900 00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:30,600 Speaker 3: of like idea of competitiveness versus It's like, if you 901 00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:36,480 Speaker 3: love I love the man that Will is, I'm going 902 00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:41,200 Speaker 3: to respect all of the pieces that got him there, Right, 903 00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:44,400 Speaker 3: It wasn't me just coming into his life. That you know, 904 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:48,560 Speaker 3: is like he had a whole history before I came. 905 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,279 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, Yeah, so did I. So 906 00:53:52,320 --> 00:53:55,000 Speaker 3: I'm like, if I need you to respect my friendship 907 00:53:56,400 --> 00:53:59,160 Speaker 3: with Pac and what he meant to me, I gotta 908 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:03,440 Speaker 3: respect those pieces of your life that helped you become 909 00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:04,040 Speaker 3: who you are. 910 00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:06,040 Speaker 1: That's different. That's a different level of healing, Jada. 911 00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:09,640 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, that's just that that to me 912 00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:14,160 Speaker 3: is is where it's at. You know, that's where it's at. 913 00:54:14,239 --> 00:54:16,640 Speaker 2: I think it's easy to understand if you can, if 914 00:54:16,640 --> 00:54:19,600 Speaker 2: everybody can just understand that men and women can can 915 00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:20,720 Speaker 2: just be friends. 916 00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:24,439 Speaker 3: Especially Look, the easy part is I'm not saying there's 917 00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:26,720 Speaker 3: some new John coming in that that's different. 918 00:54:26,920 --> 00:54:31,360 Speaker 1: See the Baltimore just come out on. 919 00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,680 Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, that's a different thing. So 920 00:54:32,719 --> 00:54:35,759 Speaker 3: when you're talking about people that he already went through 921 00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:39,120 Speaker 3: a process with, been in a relationship with, you know 922 00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:42,200 Speaker 3: what I'm saying, that that particular stage of that get 923 00:54:42,239 --> 00:54:45,840 Speaker 3: down is done and over with. So there's a friendship 924 00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:46,920 Speaker 3: left there. 925 00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,279 Speaker 2: In the No Soccer Mom chapter, right, you shoot down 926 00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:54,920 Speaker 2: every rumor there's ever been about y'all that y'all are swingers, 927 00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:57,360 Speaker 2: that y'all were both gay and playing each other's biers, 928 00:54:57,400 --> 00:55:00,560 Speaker 2: that y'all were sleeping with whomever you choose. How does 929 00:55:00,600 --> 00:55:02,640 Speaker 2: it feel in twenty twenty three to still have those 930 00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:05,760 Speaker 2: same rumors out about people you love, like Will and Duinn. 931 00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:07,920 Speaker 1: I know that just came out too recently. 932 00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:16,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, And let me just say this, it's ridiculous, right, 933 00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:21,680 Speaker 3: and it's nonsense. And this is a person that tried 934 00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:24,759 Speaker 3: to shake down a money shakedown that didn't work. We're 935 00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:29,640 Speaker 3: gonna take legal action because it's one thing to have 936 00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:37,440 Speaker 3: your opinion about somebody versus just making up salacious, malicious stories. 937 00:55:38,000 --> 00:55:44,440 Speaker 3: So that's actionable. So we're gonna roll with that. But yeah, I. 938 00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,080 Speaker 1: You know, say leave it alone, don't go nowhere. 939 00:55:48,680 --> 00:55:53,640 Speaker 3: Yeah oh no, no, nobody said anything. It's you know, 940 00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:58,120 Speaker 3: so for me, unfortunately, it's part of it, you know 941 00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:01,719 Speaker 3: what I mean, It's not true. We're gonna take care 942 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:03,680 Speaker 3: of it. 943 00:56:04,080 --> 00:56:05,879 Speaker 2: There was a money shakedown probably. 944 00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:13,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, the money, well, it's it's based around this person's 945 00:56:13,160 --> 00:56:18,080 Speaker 3: idea that they in some way were doing business around 946 00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:22,600 Speaker 3: Will's book and that they spent money or what have you, 947 00:56:22,800 --> 00:56:25,120 Speaker 3: and that they needed to be compensated. So he already 948 00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:29,759 Speaker 3: tried to do this money shakedown. Will was willing to 949 00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:31,839 Speaker 3: give him a certain amount or what have you, and 950 00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:35,640 Speaker 3: he didn't take it. So this whole situation is based 951 00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:36,120 Speaker 3: on that. 952 00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:37,279 Speaker 2: Give him a certain amount? 953 00:56:37,320 --> 00:56:40,759 Speaker 3: Why though, just well because of some business that they had, 954 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,040 Speaker 3: and I don't know the complete details about it, but 955 00:56:43,120 --> 00:56:45,200 Speaker 3: that's about to come out. Because like I told you 956 00:56:45,239 --> 00:56:48,480 Speaker 3: about to take legal action, you should. Yeah, no, we 957 00:56:48,520 --> 00:56:49,719 Speaker 3: are for sure. 958 00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:51,480 Speaker 1: I was asking, how is Will dealing with it? You know, 959 00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:54,680 Speaker 1: with oh, released a statement? 960 00:56:57,520 --> 00:57:01,200 Speaker 3: Will. Here's the one good thing about Will. Will's always 961 00:57:01,200 --> 00:57:04,120 Speaker 3: gonna find the funny. I figured that, Yeah, kid's always 962 00:57:04,160 --> 00:57:06,520 Speaker 3: gonna find the funny, you know what I'm saying. 963 00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:12,560 Speaker 2: And so after the murder, murder, kill kill, Yeah, you 964 00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:13,040 Speaker 2: have to. 965 00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:18,200 Speaker 3: You have to because it's absolutely ridiculous, you know what 966 00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:21,360 Speaker 3: I'm saying. And so all you have is you just 967 00:57:21,360 --> 00:57:25,600 Speaker 3: gotta laugh about it, you know. And it's unfortunate because did. 968 00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:26,760 Speaker 2: He ask you, like, do I look like I give 969 00:57:26,800 --> 00:57:27,280 Speaker 2: off bottom? 970 00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:31,320 Speaker 3: And he was like, do you believe this ship? You know? 971 00:57:31,520 --> 00:57:32,800 Speaker 3: But we just laughed about it. 972 00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:35,640 Speaker 1: Got to ask about tyresee that there was a rumor 973 00:57:35,680 --> 00:57:36,920 Speaker 1: that tyree called you. 974 00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:41,240 Speaker 2: Oh said he called you on the phone. Was he was, 975 00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:43,320 Speaker 2: he was on med, he was out of it. Yeah, 976 00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,680 Speaker 2: and he told you I ain't no killer, Jada, I 977 00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:48,160 Speaker 2: ain't no killer. But don't push me. Ohingers like the 978 00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:51,000 Speaker 2: sweetest joy that's getting pushed. You don't know why he's. 979 00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:57,800 Speaker 3: So. Tyreese did call me for sure, and he was 980 00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:02,120 Speaker 3: he was definitely in uh in a state. And I 981 00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:06,840 Speaker 3: was really concerned, you know, and I'm. 982 00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:10,680 Speaker 2: Just he said, he said him and Charlie Max said, 983 00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:11,440 Speaker 2: he quoted Tupac. 984 00:58:11,640 --> 00:58:12,560 Speaker 3: He called Tupac. 985 00:58:12,600 --> 00:58:14,720 Speaker 2: No, he said, he called you and quoted Tupac. 986 00:58:14,840 --> 00:58:16,880 Speaker 3: He may have. Let me tell you something. I was 987 00:58:17,040 --> 00:58:22,439 Speaker 3: so worried at that time when he made that call 988 00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:29,320 Speaker 3: about his his state, because it was really deeply concerning 989 00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:34,720 Speaker 3: that I don't I couldn't even tell you exactly what 990 00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:38,200 Speaker 3: happened because I'm trying to think about who I can 991 00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:41,439 Speaker 3: get there, Who can I get in the house, how 992 00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:48,280 Speaker 3: can I get him help? Yeah, And so that I was, 993 00:58:48,360 --> 00:58:52,520 Speaker 3: I was in I was, I was a little panicked, 994 00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:56,040 Speaker 3: you know, to just make sure that he was okay 995 00:58:56,160 --> 00:58:58,200 Speaker 3: and that nothing was going to happen. He wasn't gonna 996 00:58:58,280 --> 00:59:03,160 Speaker 3: hurt himself or anybody else, so that I couldn't even 997 00:59:03,240 --> 00:59:05,080 Speaker 3: I don't even remember. 998 00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,280 Speaker 1: What he said what he said. 999 00:59:06,720 --> 00:59:08,520 Speaker 2: I want to talk about the book and a debate 1000 00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:10,480 Speaker 2: I had at dinner a couple of weeks ago with 1001 00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,120 Speaker 2: some friends, because in the book, you say that you 1002 00:59:13,200 --> 00:59:17,320 Speaker 2: and Will decided to separate in every way except legally. Yeah, 1003 00:59:17,360 --> 00:59:21,440 Speaker 2: and y'all would have complete transparency, no secrets about what 1004 00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:24,000 Speaker 2: y'all were doing and whom y'all were doing it with, right, 1005 00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:26,240 Speaker 2: And the debate we were having was or earlier in 1006 00:59:26,240 --> 00:59:27,560 Speaker 2: the books, she said that they've never been in an 1007 00:59:27,560 --> 00:59:30,000 Speaker 2: open relationship. But isn't that an open relationship. 1008 00:59:30,040 --> 00:59:34,440 Speaker 3: Well, here's the difference between that. That's when you're in 1009 00:59:34,640 --> 00:59:40,520 Speaker 3: an open relationship and you are still intimate with each other. Right, 1010 00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:43,400 Speaker 3: at that point, we went our separate ways. So it's 1011 00:59:43,520 --> 00:59:49,360 Speaker 3: as if we are divorced, separated and just trying to 1012 00:59:49,400 --> 00:59:52,680 Speaker 3: figure out how we're going to go about it. But 1013 00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:56,000 Speaker 3: at that particular point in time, we were no longer 1014 00:59:56,800 --> 01:00:03,000 Speaker 3: relating in that way, right, because for us, it was over, 1015 01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:06,840 Speaker 3: it was done. So if you're in an open relationship, 1016 01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:10,720 Speaker 3: that means that you are still in a relationship with 1017 01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:15,080 Speaker 3: one of those romantically, and you are okay with being 1018 01:00:15,200 --> 01:00:22,479 Speaker 3: with other people romantically separated. We were separated, like done done, done, 1019 01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:23,280 Speaker 3: done done. 1020 01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:27,080 Speaker 2: Why did you choose not to say August's name in 1021 01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:27,400 Speaker 2: the book? 1022 01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:34,200 Speaker 3: Really just to I felt like he's been through enough, 1023 01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:37,200 Speaker 3: you know what I mean? And I just wanted to 1024 01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:40,000 Speaker 3: be respectful in that manner. I really did. 1025 01:00:40,640 --> 01:00:42,720 Speaker 2: Do you feel like that's something that you need to 1026 01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:44,280 Speaker 2: heal like that situation. 1027 01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:49,520 Speaker 3: I'm hoping at some point, you know, I'm definitely hoping 1028 01:00:49,560 --> 01:00:50,680 Speaker 3: at some point for sure. 1029 01:00:51,640 --> 01:00:54,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to ask you too, if you pick 1030 01:00:54,600 --> 01:00:57,560 Speaker 2: a crew to run with in real life, would you 1031 01:00:57,640 --> 01:00:59,320 Speaker 2: choose between the cast or set it off? For the 1032 01:00:59,320 --> 01:00:59,920 Speaker 2: cast of girls? 1033 01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:01,760 Speaker 1: Set it off? 1034 01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:08,480 Speaker 3: Oh that's a hard one. Damn Charlamagne, that's a hard one. 1035 01:01:08,520 --> 01:01:11,240 Speaker 1: Set it off. They was rioters. 1036 01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:15,520 Speaker 3: They were riders for sure, but you know both cruise 1037 01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:20,040 Speaker 3: they got, you know, they got something real special. Yeah, 1038 01:01:20,800 --> 01:01:21,560 Speaker 3: I'm gonna plead. 1039 01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:22,200 Speaker 1: The fifth on that pad. 1040 01:01:24,040 --> 01:01:26,240 Speaker 2: I only got two more questions, like, when you're having 1041 01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:29,160 Speaker 2: these conversations, now, how do you know in your words 1042 01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:33,720 Speaker 2: that this isn't the pseudo guru using rationale and borrowed 1043 01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:35,440 Speaker 2: wisdom to tell. 1044 01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:40,760 Speaker 3: You what you want to hear, because it sits so 1045 01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:44,640 Speaker 3: beautifully in my heart. Now, what I will say about 1046 01:01:44,720 --> 01:01:50,560 Speaker 3: that is, that's why you gotta always stay open because 1047 01:01:50,760 --> 01:01:54,840 Speaker 3: as we continue to grow and learn, you know, it's 1048 01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:58,840 Speaker 3: it's Bruce Lee said, it best be like water. You 1049 01:01:58,960 --> 01:02:01,400 Speaker 3: know what I mean, because that's where I'm sitting right now. 1050 01:02:02,120 --> 01:02:04,200 Speaker 3: Who knows when I come back, if you know what 1051 01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:07,160 Speaker 3: it'll be then because we just got to stay open. 1052 01:02:07,200 --> 01:02:12,480 Speaker 3: We gotta stay fluent. But for now, it's what speaks 1053 01:02:12,520 --> 01:02:15,640 Speaker 3: to me deeply, you know. And that's all we got, 1054 01:02:16,200 --> 01:02:17,080 Speaker 3: you know, for the moment. 1055 01:02:18,320 --> 01:02:20,840 Speaker 2: My last question, and it's a quote, right, And the 1056 01:02:20,920 --> 01:02:23,320 Speaker 2: quote is other people's opinion to you, whether it's good 1057 01:02:23,360 --> 01:02:25,200 Speaker 2: or bad, should not be ground and what you base 1058 01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:28,160 Speaker 2: your self worth, your value is inherent within you. What 1059 01:02:28,360 --> 01:02:30,760 Speaker 2: matters the most is whether you know you are worthy? 1060 01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:31,560 Speaker 3: Right? 1061 01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:32,680 Speaker 2: So do you know you're worthy? 1062 01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:36,960 Speaker 3: Absolutely? And you know what it really comes from. And 1063 01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:39,720 Speaker 3: I wanted to say this in regards to the question 1064 01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:45,280 Speaker 3: you asked about self worth really dealing with self judgment, 1065 01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:52,320 Speaker 3: Like once we can cure our self judgment in a 1066 01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:58,520 Speaker 3: certain manner, right, people's opinion about you can only affect 1067 01:02:58,680 --> 01:02:59,720 Speaker 3: you if you believe it. 1068 01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:00,360 Speaker 2: Mm hm. 1069 01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:03,800 Speaker 3: You know what I mean. Once you really know who 1070 01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:07,480 Speaker 3: you are, once you really know your self worth, anything 1071 01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:11,040 Speaker 3: that anybody else has to say about you really can't 1072 01:03:11,040 --> 01:03:15,880 Speaker 3: affect you, you know. And so you know, I know 1073 01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:18,280 Speaker 3: how much work it's taken for me to get to 1074 01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:21,440 Speaker 3: know myself. I can't expect anybody else to know me 1075 01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:25,800 Speaker 3: like that, you know what I mean. So I have 1076 01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:29,760 Speaker 3: to be willing and accept whatever opinions come my way. 1077 01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:35,360 Speaker 2: I get it, absolutely, yeah right, Jada Pinky smipulated the gentlemen, 1078 01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:39,600 Speaker 2: thank you. 1079 01:03:39,760 --> 01:03:40,520 Speaker 3: This was beautiful. 1080 01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:42,400 Speaker 1: The book worthy is out right. Now make sure you 1081 01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:43,080 Speaker 1: get it and thank you. 1082 01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:43,680 Speaker 3: Thank you. 1083 01:03:43,880 --> 01:03:47,400 Speaker 1: Don't be a stranger, No I won't. It's the Breakfast Club. 1084 01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:51,200 Speaker 1: It's Jada Pinky Smith. Wake that ass up in the morning. 1085 01:03:51,560 --> 01:03:52,360 Speaker 2: Breakfast Club.