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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode. Oh Alchemy, this, I'm your host.

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Speaker 1: Kevin Poul Like, guess that? Kevin Poul, Like, what's that?

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Speaker 1: Did you say? Pizza? Sure? I can help you. Move

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Speaker 1: on Saturday? What time do you want this sixty one

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Speaker 1: year old to show up? Dumb? Dumb, but I digress.

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Speaker 1: Let's mean our chemist in no particular order. Please say,

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Speaker 1: how do you do? Vanessa Ragman Venetia? When it comes

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Speaker 1: to push or shove, how shall we get that baby

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Speaker 1: out of you? I think just a calm invitation this

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Speaker 1: side of the veil. Alright, I write that down. Check

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Speaker 1: the hallway for the principle. Because James Jenie is here,

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Speaker 1: Jimmy che Che, choose me? Which is your place? Mine

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Speaker 1: is to to seven. I won't give any more information

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Speaker 1: than that. We'll take it. Can I get an amen?

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Speaker 1: Joey Greer is here, Joe Joe the Dodo. When the

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Speaker 1: police ask, do you know why I pulled you over?

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Speaker 1: What you're gonna say? I don't know? Office sir. Wow,

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Speaker 1: there's no way that's to get you a ticket. Pleasant

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Speaker 1: dreams to you. It's called like Akowski, Get in my carl.

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Speaker 1: You not creepy at all? What's your favorite kind of pie,

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Speaker 1: and wouldn't it look better smashed into Joey Grew's face? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my favorite kind of highest smashing Joey great pie, sweet

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Speaker 1: pie to sweet pie, not a savory pie? Whatever? Whatever?

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Speaker 1: And last, but poop on your you if you here's

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Speaker 1: Craig Kowski. Yeah, please share one memory from your recent

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Speaker 1: trip to Poland. Just one. I wore a Slavic gangster

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Speaker 1: track suit as a crowd chanted my name pronounced tetko Ski.

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Speaker 1: That happened, Yeah, I did. I played with three guys

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Speaker 1: from Bratslav who improvised in character wearing matching track suits,

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Speaker 1: and they invited me to do this with them, which

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Speaker 1: was half in Polish and half in English. Would you

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Speaker 1: speak English? Yes? That wow wow U And thank you

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Speaker 1: for that. All right, let's get to our first scene.

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Speaker 1: All today's scenes suggestions regathered from our listeners emails. If

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Speaker 1: you'd like to submit yours, please write to the podcast

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Speaker 1: at your name here at alchemy this dot com. That's

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Speaker 1: your name here at alchemy this dot com. My first scene,

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Speaker 1: in fact, comes from listener to Jordan's who wrote, Alchemist Hello,

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Speaker 1: I just wanted to say thanks for all the amazing

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Speaker 1: content you create I look forward to every Tuesday and

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Speaker 1: Thursday when the episodes dropped. Thank you Jordan's for reminding

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Speaker 1: me they did forget when they drop. Uh. You all

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Speaker 1: are amazingly talented and yes even you James. Don't let

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Speaker 1: them talk you down. What's happening? Are you guys talking

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Speaker 1: me down? Extra episodes on Tuesdays? I would think there'll

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Speaker 1: be a little empathy for Joey coming up. Thing. I

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Speaker 1: just don't think he gets that people want to Oh

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Speaker 1: my god, it's so good. Um Y, I had a

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Speaker 1: thought of a scene suggested for you after these scumbag

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Speaker 1: boyfriend and pregnant girlfriends seeing a group of interns get

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Speaker 1: hired at a brand new medical marijuana growing facility in

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Speaker 1: Ohio or medical marijuana was just recently legalized. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: all the last love you, Jordan. PS, if you ever

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Speaker 1: planned to have any shows outside of California, come to Cleveland.

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Speaker 1: All right, Yeah, so I'm looking for a hybrid. What

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Speaker 1: kind of hybrid? We get a lot of hybrids, man,

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Speaker 1: a hybrid of the two the two strains, Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: two hybrids are a minimum of two strains. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: you have to pick the strains and see if we

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Speaker 1: have it. Okay, Why don't you show you all of

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Speaker 1: our hypes? All right? Okay, what's your name? My name

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Speaker 1: is Tom? Tom? Yes, two ends, two ends, okay? And

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Speaker 1: where are you from? Tom? I'm just local. Sure, a

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Speaker 1: lot of our wet is local. And uh so tell

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Speaker 1: me if you have a favorite in mine, something you've

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Speaker 1: had in the past. I love steak, I love pizza. Okay,

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Speaker 1: well we do have the steak, pizza pie, hybrid pie. No.

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Speaker 1: I just want the steak or pizza, right, But it's

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Speaker 1: just a term pizza pie. I don't want pie. I

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Speaker 1: just want a pizza or steak or my favorite problem pie.

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Speaker 1: I had a trauma as a child. I was birthed

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Speaker 1: into a pie tray and my mom left me, and

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Speaker 1: your mom birthed you into a pie tray and then left. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I was left at this baking factory and I was here,

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Speaker 1: was at work. I'm not sure she's left. So that's

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Speaker 1: just pie for you. No pie about pizza cake, that's fine.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to rush anything, but i'd like to

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Speaker 1: get my medication, your medication. I'm here to pick up

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Speaker 1: my medical marijuana. Oh, everyone's here to pick up their

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Speaker 1: American Meta one s your name down the list. Are

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Speaker 1: you Stone? Why would I work here if I wasn't Stone?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, honey, I told you this was a

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Speaker 1: bad idea. We should have just stuck with CVS. I

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Speaker 1: can help you. I can help you. I'm just an

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Speaker 1: intern around here, but I'm happy to help. Are you Stone?

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Speaker 1: I'm always partially stoned, hurt. You know what. It's CVS.

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Speaker 1: They're all hopped up on cough sharp anyways. So let's

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Speaker 1: just give this a chance. Okay, I'm giving it. I'm fun. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you seem like it. You certainly do seem like it.

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Speaker 1: All right. Here, here's some oils, some medical marijuana oils.

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Speaker 1: And what you do is you put these on the

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Speaker 1: bottom of your feet and the skin absorbs them. He

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Speaker 1: doesn't have a foot problem. Now I have a back problem.

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Speaker 1: It's sciatica, right, But then be absorbed in your blood stream.

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Speaker 1: It'll go to wherever it's necessary for it to go to.

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Speaker 1: There's no blood in his foot. It's fine, Um, birch, sir,

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Speaker 1: I'm so sorry my intern status is really I'm feeling

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Speaker 1: it right now. I'm feeling very nervous. Should I just ada?

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Speaker 1: You should settle down, Tom, just adapt to what their

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Speaker 1: needs are, adapt what their needs are, and I'll take

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Speaker 1: a dab of this oil myself. She excuse me, take

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Speaker 1: my socks off. Excuse me? This is miss your prescription, sir,

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Speaker 1: it's okay, and here it is okay. Uh yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: a prescription i've ever seen sign X. Well, honestly, it

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Speaker 1: doesn't need any signature more than the next. If that's

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Speaker 1: my signature, accounts and right, we're looking for the doctor's signature.

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Speaker 1: He couldn't have gotten that without a doctor giving it

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Speaker 1: to get out the other paper on here. Here, look

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Speaker 1: at this compared to my usual writing. I didn't sign

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Speaker 1: that X. Nope, that's not your X. Oh wait, I've

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Speaker 1: got something in my purse. Um, hold on listen. No,

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Speaker 1: you know what, Clea. They're just trying to make us

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Speaker 1: feel ashamed when we're trying to use our legal United

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Speaker 1: States right to get some goddamn medicine. I'm sorry that

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Speaker 1: they don't treat us like this. Can someone help him? Yes,

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Speaker 1: of course, I'm sorry for you. If you could do us,

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Speaker 1: all of us, a world of good and stop mentioning

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Speaker 1: those three letters drug store, Hello, can I get some

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Speaker 1: weight in here? Hello? Fred? Good to see Tina, Tina,

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Speaker 1: remember me high five? So I have your gummies so

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Speaker 1: much and I have your weed, thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: Who I thought we had a friend deal here. Uh oh,

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Speaker 1: we're friends and that's the deal is that we're friends. Look,

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Speaker 1: I got a guy down the block I can get

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Speaker 1: it from for twenty bucks. I can't hear that. I

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Speaker 1: can't hear that. That's illegal. High There were other people

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Speaker 1: in here drink and we were ahead of you. But

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Speaker 1: go ahead, go ahead, geez, so I can get it

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Speaker 1: for twenty bucks down the block, all right. They were

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Speaker 1: trying to charge you with eight hundred dollars, man for

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Speaker 1: what for? We we met all these little Cheeto gummies

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Speaker 1: and whatnot. It's like cereal and man Ohio has changed

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Speaker 1: it really have Man, it ain't. It ain't the America

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Speaker 1: once new. It ain't America. We knew, No guys, you

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Speaker 1: gotta you got a double sidebuck for me? Man, say again,

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Speaker 1: you got a double sidebuck for me? I got a

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Speaker 1: double sidebuck? Alright, so you know a ten dollar bill

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Speaker 1: as a sawbuck. Can you come into the kitchen for

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Speaker 1: just seconds? Can you come into the kitchen. I'm busy

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Speaker 1: doing bonghads, No, no, com come in the kitchen real quick. Okay,

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Speaker 1: my woman wants me to go on the kitchen. Oh man,

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Speaker 1: I know that you want me just hanging here in

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Speaker 1: the basement for a little bit. Yeah, you still owe

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Speaker 1: me twenty bucks on Hey, come on, man, you know

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Speaker 1: I got them saw sucks. Hey. I heard him staying,

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Speaker 1: they're charging eight hundred dollars over at the shop. Any

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Speaker 1: right that you should be charging something competitive? I thought

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Speaker 1: we were going to try to make this a competitive business.

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Speaker 1: Do you want me to charging about something more expensive

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Speaker 1: than two side bucks? Go down there and get it.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, give five side bucks. Look, I've got

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Speaker 1: my clientele that I've had for years, and they expect service.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying, there's the cost of livings going up

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Speaker 1: in the cost of your side bucks. Ain't okay? This

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Speaker 1: is my clients, ole, my friends, people I do bum

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Speaker 1: hits with, and people who paid twenty dollars less from pot.

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Speaker 1: We're trying to raise a family. You go down there

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Speaker 1: and you get a couple more bucks on the side.

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Speaker 1: Where are the kids anyway? Being in a table of this?

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Speaker 1: How town? You are? My ankle raised myself daddy. Listen,

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Speaker 1: you shouldn't be under the table. It's dangerous. There could

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Speaker 1: be knives falling off the table. You got all the knives,

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Speaker 1: I know where all the nis. So I'm stuck in

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Speaker 1: the fridge again. I'm stuck in here. Okay, you get

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Speaker 1: your sister out of the fridge and you guys go upstairs.

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Speaker 1: I like it in here. It's like air conditioning. I

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Speaker 1: like it under table just fine. I'm looking at Chell's ankles. Okay, look,

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you what. I'm gonna go undercover into that fancy,

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Speaker 1: high fluting medical marijuana plays and see how they can

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Speaker 1: get away with charging eight bucks for that. Sounds like

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Speaker 1: a good idea, Eddie, that's really fun. What kind of

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Speaker 1: costume you don't wear? I don't know what kind of

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Speaker 1: costumes you got. How do we treat I got a

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Speaker 1: trench coat, okay, I wear a trench coe. What do

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Speaker 1: you get? I got the tape cloth and these knives.

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Speaker 1: I guess I also got a dog. Use a dog?

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Speaker 1: It can go a dog in a trench coat. You

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Speaker 1: can put the dog in a trench That's a good idea.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm gonna do, and put the dog in

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Speaker 1: a turns tru can I have five saw bucks, five socks.

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Speaker 1: Let me see how much that it's fifty bucks? What

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Speaker 1: do you need fifty bucks for a girl? I didn't

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Speaker 1: know find out how much you saw about was worth it?

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Speaker 1: Now I guess I know? All right? Now you know? Well,

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Speaker 1: I hope you don't just go without getting your friend

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Speaker 1: from downstairs. Who's doing all those you're still down there? Hey,

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's a big deal, Danny, Oh god,

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Speaker 1: hey Fred, you still? Holy ship? Oh God, holy ship,

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Speaker 1: you man, you're paring a home. Man. I freaked out. Man,

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Speaker 1: I did a whole bunch of drugs and you were gone. Man,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, tell him what you saw? What you saw? Hey, look, man,

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Speaker 1: I've been destined for something, my man. I gotta go

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Speaker 1: do something. Hey look, man, I gotta collect all the

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Speaker 1: city's teeth and I gotta grind them all up, and

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Speaker 1: I gotta make this effort. You need tooth dust. Look, man,

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Speaker 1: I gotta put the tooth dust. And everyone's medley button.

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Speaker 1: You can get five hours in the boxes? What do

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Speaker 1: you get the box? My end, not the boxed in

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Speaker 1: the box, not the boo box. No, no, calm down,

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Speaker 1: look at out of here. We'll get the teeth Danny,

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Speaker 1: I got some teeth your freak and hands. They're under

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Speaker 1: my pillow. What are you doing in the boot box?

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Speaker 1: All kinds of places. Get okay, honey, you get out

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Speaker 1: of there. I've got so many teeth. It's like I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna crack the door to the boot box and honey,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna ruin out and make sure that Fred stays

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Speaker 1: in there all right? Okay, children have two sets of

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Speaker 1: teeth in their head. Do you need some of my teeth? Friends? No? No,

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Speaker 1: don't get her teeth to share my teeth. If you

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Speaker 1: want some messed up right now, he's going to grind

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Speaker 1: your teeth and snort them. Okay, cartoon character so big

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Speaker 1: you want my teeth but will never be he's here,

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Speaker 1: then that's so chief. There's just been no crime since

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Speaker 1: marijuana has become legalized medically. And I don't know what

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Speaker 1: you want me to do bust people from nothing. We

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Speaker 1: just got a big crime. And guys, what you get?

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Speaker 1: Teeth are missing all over the city that we just

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Speaker 1: got a big crime in y'all them we don't we know?

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Speaker 1: Could you know? I found out first? Then Rance came

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Speaker 1: in and tried to steal my thunder you're coming in

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Speaker 1: with a bloody mouth. We know someone's taking teeth. Some

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Speaker 1: tweakers hit me in the mouth. I'm two years old.

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Speaker 1: Describe them? Okay, wait wait wait wait, gave him a

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Speaker 1: cup to catch the blood. Wait wait wait, you don't

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Speaker 1: need to doodle right now. He's gonna describe them. I

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Speaker 1: gotta draw them. You're not a good artist, don't. Yes, no,

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Speaker 1: you're not. If you're believe in yourself, anything as possible.

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Speaker 1: That's not true. Everything you look like a stickman? Is

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Speaker 1: that true? Please? Let this man describe his singing, by

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Speaker 1: the way rants. Yes, if you follow your dreams, thank you, absolutely,

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Speaker 1: thank you. That's sexist. They were wearing a trench coat

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Speaker 1: and they put several knives on me, and they said

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Speaker 1: burk burk, burk, burk, burk burk. Them were there? There

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Speaker 1: were at least one. I just want to just point

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Speaker 1: something out. Is it possible that they weren't saying bark

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Speaker 1: it it was the sound of a bark. That's impossible,

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Speaker 1: it's possible. How could that be possible? You need a

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Speaker 1: you need a real dog to pull off something like that. Perhaps,

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Speaker 1: but we don't know what we're dealing with. Dogs can't

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Speaker 1: wear trench coat. That's been proven. That has been proven.

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Speaker 1: You know what about this at the dog in a

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Speaker 1: trench a stickman? It might have been a dog in

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Speaker 1: a trench coat. You didn't have low hanging balls like that.

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Speaker 1: They weren't there. Are you sure? Because I mean I

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Speaker 1: think I did. And the covered the trade by the

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Speaker 1: amount of praise you're getting right now, don't push back, Laura,

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Speaker 1: I'm out the side with you. Thank you for one. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what I was saying about the dreams? Do you want

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Speaker 1: to forget those? Those balls are an abomination in terms

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Speaker 1: of dog But now, sir, if we can get back

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Speaker 1: to you for a second, So it was just the

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Speaker 1: dog or whatever the small creature was barking at in

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Speaker 1: the trench coat, But how would that result in you

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Speaker 1: losing your teeth? And wrap me up in a in

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Speaker 1: a tablecloth and nimes of me and then they wracked

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Speaker 1: my face with a sledge hammer until all the teeth

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Speaker 1: were gone. So you'd like us to believe there's a

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Speaker 1: sledgehammer wheedling canine. Look all, speaking of canines that want

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Speaker 1: my teeth back? What about the strawnt? What is that

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Speaker 1: looks like a balloon? Dog? Enough time to do everything correct,

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Speaker 1: But does that look anything like you saw? Just if

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Speaker 1: you want to be an artist, leave, yeah, well that's great. Also,

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Speaker 1: don't make this moment about you, right me. It's because

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Speaker 1: what we still don't know is how can a dog

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Speaker 1: hold a thing? So it's not your question. You just

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Speaker 1: drew a balloon dog, that's my question. Is that what

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Speaker 1: you saw? What did you about thumb? I've seen a

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Speaker 1: dog with thumbs before. It is rare, but I've seen it, well,

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Speaker 1: not human thumbs. There's still dog thumbs, but it's a

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Speaker 1: thumb nonetheless, on the bottom of the dog's foot. Where

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Speaker 1: did you see this, Delaney? It was at a pound.

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Speaker 1: It was disgusting, really, Fred Okay, so my dog eat

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Speaker 1: call here. He brought all the teeth that you wanted.

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Speaker 1: It is for you, Fred, I gotta get a blender.

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Speaker 1: You did a good jack cow, good jack Bunny. Get

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Speaker 1: a blender in the boot bogs. Is there a long

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Speaker 1: extension cord you can bring in here? Of course? Always? Okay,

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Speaker 1: I just got blend of these teeth. Okay, So how

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Speaker 1: many sawbucks did I get for that? All the subs? Remember?

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Speaker 1: But how many? Exactly? How many are that's a stupid question, question,

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Speaker 1: here's a dollar in the boot box. Okay, you're coming

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Speaker 1: down yet, it's been two days. How many drugs did

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Speaker 1: you do? I found some more? Oh no, indeed, well

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Speaker 1: we ever get out of the was it bombox? You

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Speaker 1: didn't have a blue box when you grew up? How

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Speaker 1: are you spelling boob? My mistake? Why why was the

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Speaker 1: box called the boo box? You're seeing the hook Yep,

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Speaker 1: that's and they put they dropped the scorpions. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's who is someone? There was an actress

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Speaker 1: who was like I think that you remember this film? Well, so, well,

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Speaker 1: it's a beautiful movie. It's a great film. It holds

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Speaker 1: up practical effects. You're not talking about the one with

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Speaker 1: Dustin Hoff. Yes, yeah, you're saying that was a great film.

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Speaker 1: I think it's maybe the best film. We watched it

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Speaker 1: last month, and it's that's fair. That's fair. You're doing it, Peter, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it really does. It's not a musical. It must be

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Speaker 1: a generational thing. The old guy doesn't get it. R

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Speaker 1: Number twos from Andrew who wrote Light Everyone. I have

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Speaker 1: an idea for us. Sketch. Well, we don't really do

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Speaker 1: sketches that I hope you love world. I hope you lovely,

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Speaker 1: funny talented people. You guys can decide who is lovely,

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Speaker 1: who is funny, and who's talented? Will like enough to

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Speaker 1: bring to life into it? Really isn't There's there's six

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Speaker 1: of us, including Chris, our engineer for the day. Just

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00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,040
Speaker 1: to show a hands who Mrs Doug Band Okay, I

306
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,360
Speaker 1: didn't see any hands. The idea is that the semi

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Speaker 1: final of a bowling tournament, one team is made up

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Speaker 1: of the local police, the other team of local crime family.

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Speaker 1: Yours Andrew from Manchester, United Kingdom. Thank you Andrew. Want

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Speaker 1: and a half? Okay, um, I only have a twelve

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Speaker 1: or thirteen and a half? Let me ask you a question, Timmy,

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Speaker 1: is it? Uh? Huh? Where do you live? To me?

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Speaker 1: I live on nineteen nineteen Crescent Boulevard? Follow up if

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Speaker 1: I may? Do you like your family? Yes? Give me

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Speaker 1: a twelve and a half. You better give him. You

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Speaker 1: better hurry up, and you better hurry up with mine

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Speaker 1: to thirteen. I don't want it twelve. Can she stop

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Speaker 1: spraying hair spray? It's not until I get my shoes,

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Speaker 1: all right. I crushed out of the house tonight so

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Speaker 1: I can give you know in process right now? All right,

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Speaker 1: I can I mean, I only have done talking to

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Speaker 1: him and go get the This is not seems like

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00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 1: you don't have to say another words. Wait, I appreciate

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Speaker 1: the effort. Get the shoes, all right, show him picture

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Speaker 1: of his family so he has something to with him. Okay,

326
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:03,159
Speaker 1: here's a picture of your family, picture of my family?

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00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,399
Speaker 1: All right, let me see you. Do you want to

328
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 1: see him again? Do you want to see him again

329
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,320
Speaker 1: the picture of my family? Yes? Sure? Is that what

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00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,439
Speaker 1: you meant? Speethot it? Did you mean like, want you

331
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Speaker 1: want to see your actual family again? He'll kill him,

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Speaker 1: You'll kill my family. I'm so glad that was clear.

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00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:25,240
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. Yeah, excuse me, sir, you were

334
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Speaker 1: threatening this this bowling employee. Pardon mayor mally. Yeah, I'm

335
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Speaker 1: just letting him know that I need a twelve and

336
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Speaker 1: a half. If you don't happen to have that on

337
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 1: you do your flat foot. No, I don't bring shoes

338
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: for my opponents during the bowling tournament, the professional Bowlingly

339
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:43,440
Speaker 1: you don't have your own shoes. You brought the laptop

340
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 1: that I'm the bestest team scot. Yeah, that's exciting for you.

341
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:54,199
Speaker 1: I don't need a twelve and a half. Alright, you

342
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,760
Speaker 1: guys are so great for you to show up every week. Well, listen,

343
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Speaker 1: the finals of the tournament. We're not going to drop

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Speaker 1: out now, it's the semifinals. We're going to No, no,

345
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:05,640
Speaker 1: he was right for you, guys. It's the final. Oh

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Speaker 1: I said, I said, we're gonna kill you, right. Yeah,

347
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Speaker 1: maybe not not in the exact way. I don't know

348
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Speaker 1: if this is okay? Is that a rightful to say that? Man,

349
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 1: you're not so much not okay? Sorry, you want to

350
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 1: keep your girl in line, Jimmy two strikes. Hey, I'm

351
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 1: in line to get my shoes. That's right, baby. You

352
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Speaker 1: tell them, uh, twelve and a half? So away they

353
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 1: came from the back, all right, what lane wood lane?

354
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Speaker 1: I have you? I have you on seven and have

355
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Speaker 1: you on eight. Okay, so we'll take seven and they'll

356
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 1: take eight. Okay, a seven and a half. It's the

357
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Speaker 1: petite foot. Hello, you are so tall, big lighted little

358
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Speaker 1: FEEI that's around the calling. It is which team you

359
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 1: play it for in the middle, because you wish one,

360
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: please let me play with it. Either of you can

361
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: absolutely look at it for him for both sides. So

362
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:20,120
Speaker 1: technically you're eligible for either team. That's what I'm saying,

363
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Speaker 1: And I just wish I would get picked. Here I

364
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 1: am with my buffalo things. What was your name again,

365
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 1: Dar Darson? You can play, you can roll in our team,

366
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Speaker 1: but I'm gonna need to know how to spell that

367
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:41,679
Speaker 1: dom Tarson spell like person but with the different letters

368
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:48,119
Speaker 1: at the front. Oh, the conventional spell ye Tarson taran alright,

369
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:52,160
Speaker 1: so I'll know what I'm wearing. A skirt roped underplants,

370
00:22:54,840 --> 00:23:01,000
Speaker 1: have extra end the pants in my persian extra. You

371
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,239
Speaker 1: could throw the cups off the game a little. You're

372
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:07,439
Speaker 1: not allowed to bring in outside wings to the pulling

373
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Speaker 1: from outside. How many well I saw you walk in

374
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Speaker 1: to get your checked. Bitch, Timmy, I'm gonna need to

375
00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you to see a little less, all right.

376
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Speaker 1: I just she's not allowed to happen. What are you

377
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 1: looking at? No Pennylon, Jesus, please please stop this disgusting.

378
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:31,240
Speaker 1: I'm not doing anything. You're doing everything. I just shoot that.

379
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: I don't aren't you calm down? Getting to calm down, Copper.

380
00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,159
Speaker 1: All I know is your name is Jimmy. Two strikes

381
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 1: because you never got a turkey before. That's right, son? Wow? Great? Okay,

382
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 1: So all the teams are here, good, good. I'm not

383
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 1: gonna be applying for the bad guy. Okay, it's it's

384
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: it's doubles only, so I don't know if that's gonna

385
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:05,360
Speaker 1: be okay. I thought it was a pretty desperate move

386
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 1: for them to pick up another players. I'm happy, but

387
00:24:09,840 --> 00:24:11,359
Speaker 1: you say it's a little late in the game to

388
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: pick up another player. I guess what. I don't even

389
00:24:14,080 --> 00:24:16,879
Speaker 1: want to be here, love, I'll just dropped something. Let

390
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 1: me pick it up. Oh wow, you're getting buffalo. Just

391
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,640
Speaker 1: be a cheerlater. That's what I was in hospital in

392
00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:34,560
Speaker 1: college anyway. What's college? What colleld you go to? You know?

393
00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:40,600
Speaker 1: You shut up? Okay, great? Uh so we we have

394
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: the two teams and you're all lanes are set up,

395
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 1: and it's going to lucky seven, Lucky seven seven. Oh yeah,

396
00:24:50,400 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 1: you're gonna leave that seven. Been dangling all game. I'm

397
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 1: gonna dangle your face in about nine seconds. Chief, all right,

398
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 1: it's just just a game of bling, alright, So let's

399
00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 1: just who's your name? Patterson? Patterson of this table. It's

400
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:11,119
Speaker 1: never just a game of bowling. Never, So you know. Also,

401
00:25:11,320 --> 00:25:15,120
Speaker 1: I have pictures of your family, which is my family. Yeah,

402
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 1: she does. Patterson, you're a scorekeeper, right, yes, I am,

403
00:25:20,359 --> 00:25:23,600
Speaker 1: all right, we'll keep us in mind. Actually everything's computerized.

404
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 1: You don't actually need to many a scorekeeper anymore. But

405
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: I guess I'll go home. No, no, no, Patterson, you

406
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:34,119
Speaker 1: know you should be here. So everything's ony wants to

407
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:37,520
Speaker 1: cheat computerized? What are you talking about? I mean that's

408
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: what those monitors are up there, right, Nope, and then

409
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,959
Speaker 1: there's a little animated thing that shows you which direction

410
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:49,160
Speaker 1: to roll it. I totally agree. We need a referee.

411
00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:51,720
Speaker 1: You're saying, we roll the ball and then the computer

412
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 1: figures out how many pins we get. Yeah, it's it's right.

413
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 1: I thought that was a TV show. Yeah, which TV show?

414
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 1: You thinking of the Turkey Bowler? So there's so many channels. Now, okay,

415
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 1: so you're coming today to read for the part of

416
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 1: Larry Turkey. All right, So do you have any questions

417
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 1: about the material or do you want to just jump?

418
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: It's pretty straightforward. It certainly is. What was your name again,

419
00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: Larry Turkey? Oh? I like your style? All right, Larry,

420
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:32,040
Speaker 1: when you're ready, Um, Sheila is going to read with you. Okay,

421
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: I will read with you. So we're gonna start on

422
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,480
Speaker 1: page four. I hope what network is this for? CVS?

423
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:42,720
Speaker 1: CVS uh, yes, it's a new streaming service, all right. Yeah,

424
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 1: so is this gonna play like on the automated monitors

425
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 1: when you're checking out, you get CVS at all. Yeah, yeah,

426
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,520
Speaker 1: well I get CVS ATT. Yes, that's the channel that

427
00:26:53,600 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 1: keeps printing out the really long receipt exactly. Yes, all right, okay, alright,

428
00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 1: starting on page four when you're ready, Hey, Larry Turkey's back.

429
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:09,439
Speaker 1: Gonna stop you? Yes, too much of a voice. No,

430
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:16,960
Speaker 1: I was gonna say a little more to what you're doing. Yeah,

431
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 1: we we gotta, we need energy. We need to hear you,

432
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 1: and we need to hear you. Yes, okay, I am

433
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:26,679
Speaker 1: wired for sound, right, um, okay, I mean for my

434
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,879
Speaker 1: own personal use. Yeah, of course we're not recording this,

435
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: but we need to hear you. But we need to

436
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:38,600
Speaker 1: hear you when you're ready. On page for Hey, Litterary

437
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:47,400
Speaker 1: Turkey's here, super hungry, yep, super hungry. First authentic CBS

438
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaker 1: Buffalo Wings. Sorry if I got big in um, there's

439
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: not a laugh right there when you laughed? Is this

440
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 1: a comedy. We don't why don't want to drag the

441
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 1: audience by the no was I felt like Larry Turkey

442
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,879
Speaker 1: would in that moment. Well, I'll tell you what, if

443
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 1: we could just stick to the writing script, that would

444
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:20,480
Speaker 1: really be helpful. I'm uncomfortable with all the product placement. Yes,

445
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:25,919
Speaker 1: thank you, Sheila. Alright, throw it away if we're going

446
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:27,760
Speaker 1: to give you a note to be thrown away, Okay,

447
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:34,320
Speaker 1: so big and throw it away? All right? Hey, Larry

448
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:41,360
Speaker 1: Turkeys here, yep, hungry for some of those authentic CBS

449
00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: Buffalo wings. Check? Yeah, the check? Yeah, I remember when

450
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: I picked up the check after my bowling tournament loss.

451
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: Hopefully I will be able to bowl that perfect three

452
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 1: game one day. Or my name isn't Larry Turkey shop

453
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: at CVS. Look, I represent mothers against Larry the Turkey. Okay,

454
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 1: that show is so offensive, so disrespectful. It's it's it's

455
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 1: it's just corrupting our children. And I don't like that. Okay.

456
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 1: I live in Ohio, right, But do you shop at CVS.

457
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 1: I've shot there, Yes they have. Do you have a

458
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: CVS card? Yes, I have a CVS card. Well, it

459
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,280
Speaker 1: sounds like you're a fan there's the guy right there,

460
00:29:30,320 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 1: There is the guy right there, there's that sicko, there's

461
00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,200
Speaker 1: that Larry the Turkey sick Are you gonna do that sign?

462
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 1: Excuse me? I'm an actor. Oh yeah, yes, I realized

463
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:42,520
Speaker 1: that I play a character was a bit of an

464
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 1: anti hero named Larry Turkey, not Larry the Turkey, whatever, whatever,

465
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 1: whatever it's called. Well, just thank you for watching the

466
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 1: show though. How many episodes have you seen? Too many?

467
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: Thank you very much? Or you don't have to watch?

468
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:58,160
Speaker 1: Oh don't I My kids watch. All around the school.

469
00:29:58,160 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 1: Every wants to Larry, Larry the Turk lego set, Larry

470
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 1: the Turkey dinner set, and your first and last name.

471
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 1: That's your business, okay, fair, but there's no the between

472
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,200
Speaker 1: your first and last name. Refany squircil. Okay, so it's

473
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: not Tiffany the squircial. No it's not. Okay, So the

474
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,600
Speaker 1: same thing, Larry Turkey. Excuse me, I'm here to buy razors.

475
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,080
Speaker 1: Can you unlock the razors? Look at this? So he

476
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,479
Speaker 1: just gets whatever he wants whenever he wants it. Well,

477
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:30,040
Speaker 1: he's a customer. Oh is he Verry Turkey? Oh my god,

478
00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I've got to buy pins so you

479
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 1: can sign me Larry Turkeys here have you? Who are you?

480
00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 1: Did you see this? You know I know who he is.

481
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: He's he's a problem because he's offensive. What he does?

482
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,360
Speaker 1: Which episode? All of them? I didn't think so, oh yeah, sure?

483
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,560
Speaker 1: What do you think he's offensive about it? It's a turkey.

484
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,640
Speaker 1: Be specific, it's a Turkey's a man. It's Larry the Turkey. No,

485
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: it's Larry Turkey. It's an Arry Turkey. You've seen the show.

486
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,680
Speaker 1: It's Larry. It's a t he's a bowlder. Turkey is

487
00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:05,280
Speaker 1: a bowling term for three strikes in a row. I

488
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 1: think that's pretty common novel. I think it's he's a

489
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 1: bowler frequent cvs. Oh my god, is it not? Man?

490
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 1: Please just admit you've never seen the show. I have

491
00:31:13,680 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 1: seen the show, right, I have seen it. How does

492
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: it open? Every episode opens in the same way? Just

493
00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:21,360
Speaker 1: give me the opening. I could tell you, well, I know,

494
00:31:21,480 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: I'm good, but I won't. Okay, thank you. It opens

495
00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:31,160
Speaker 1: with the show. If there's credits and she's surrounding, there's

496
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 1: so hot in here. I've been winning a car for you.

497
00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 1: What are you gonna be doing? Oh my god, is

498
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:50,440
Speaker 1: that Larry turkey, Turkey, turkeys, turkey. I loved friend. Get mom,

499
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,520
Speaker 1: shut up, shut up, bomb the kids all right, And

500
00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 1: he is Larry Turkey. I'm freaking out to will you?

501
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,280
Speaker 1: Will you sign me? Oh my gosh, I have to

502
00:31:58,320 --> 00:31:59,960
Speaker 1: buy pins. I let him sign. You have t sound

503
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 1: to me, shook my hand. He would be my blood brother. Sure, sure,

504
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 1: I have a nice we go, A little slice on

505
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: a kid and more a slice than you needed to Donna.

506
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: Slice of turkey there. Oh my god, I love you.

507
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: I love you so much. I'm talking to you mom,

508
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: talking to Larry about with that. Okay, I'll be an

509
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: all for chief. I think they're cheating on this game.

510
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 1: I mean we should be. They're definitely cheating. There's no

511
00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 1: way we should be trailing by this. You should do something.

512
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 1: You should do something. You can't just let them cheat, cheef.

513
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,120
Speaker 1: I thought it was all computerized. You like damp pins

514
00:32:46,160 --> 00:32:50,640
Speaker 1: in the score comes like we could control anything, sistern,

515
00:32:55,600 --> 00:33:01,160
Speaker 1: Look can I see your balls? Say again? Can I

516
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:05,080
Speaker 1: check your balls? Let me feel your balls come out?

517
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:10,920
Speaker 1: Come out holdings around here? Who checks balls? Thanks Patterson?

518
00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,840
Speaker 1: They're doing somebody at their balls. They're not waiting. I'll

519
00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:15,720
Speaker 1: check the balls. I'll check the balls. We're not allowed

520
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:20,520
Speaker 1: to have our own balls personally, of course, a little

521
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 1: finger with that. Again, they're covered in barbecue sauce, covered

522
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:37,760
Speaker 1: in that's a little skin condition. That's oh my god. Strike,

523
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 1: I got what can I say? What is your computer? Shake?

524
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,120
Speaker 1: The computer says X like it's a straight exactly, and

525
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,560
Speaker 1: look at the graphic design when it tells us it's

526
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:54,240
Speaker 1: a strike. It's pretty good. But look, everyone remembers that

527
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 1: episode of Larry Turkey right where hackers got into the

528
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: bowling computer system right and and changed it to knock

529
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:06,160
Speaker 1: down more pens. That's what's happening to the sanitizer and

530
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 1: sanitazer from sleeving yes to clean the prince of the ball.

531
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,560
Speaker 1: That's the one. That's the one. It's a pretty memorable episode.

532
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:21,960
Speaker 1: Strike pattersond make a stop bulling Turkey. You guys are

533
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:23,880
Speaker 1: talking so much. You should be playing. Yeah, I mean

534
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:28,839
Speaker 1: you are talking about captain Okay, shoes on time? Look

535
00:34:28,880 --> 00:34:38,040
Speaker 1: at that? Okay, all right, concentrate, concentrate on Melly. Everything's

536
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 1: writing on this, everything's right on this. What what Larry

537
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:54,879
Speaker 1: Turkey do? Bom god r bom birder. It's swerving it's

538
00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 1: swerving right. It's swerving right. It's swerving left. It's swerving left.

539
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: It's going up. It's going up. Straw strike you can

540
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 1: strikes good. He's lucky, very okay's having a stroke. Strong.

541
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: I trying to tell you strong, strong company. Right now,

542
00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:27,320
Speaker 1: we getting into the medical American. That's the answer, Patterson. Okay,

543
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: Well that's all I got if you don't want to

544
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 1: lose one medical. I don't know somebody here's medical? Does

545
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: anybody have medical? Mari wan on him in this place?

546
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: Hate the same him drop Turkey guys, Oh my gosh, hello,

547
00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 1: what do you some cho gummies or that till they

548
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:55,759
Speaker 1: take about two hours to take a back stroke right now?

549
00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,600
Speaker 1: Do you want me to call your family because I

550
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: have all their numbers? Yeah, not just the pictures. Yeah,

551
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 1: it's like a real life episode of Larry Turkey. Yeah,

552
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 1: that's a quick question. I know it's not a great time.

553
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 1: About the Cheeto gummy? Does that mean it's gummies that

554
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: tastes like cheetos? Yep? Really? Yea, So the gummies could

555
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 1: be any flavor and you chose Cheetos. I'm not I'm

556
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,920
Speaker 1: not a big cheeto so but yeah, when I say you.

557
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 1: I mean the Royal one one could choose, yes, one

558
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: could you? Actually, I think that's the only flavor available

559
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 1: at the moment. Turkey album Larry. It's just Larry Turkey. Okay, right, right, right, okay, okay, pal,

560
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:53,480
Speaker 1: I need you to open up wide, open up, stroll.

561
00:36:54,320 --> 00:37:03,640
Speaker 1: You're buying my finger. Yeah. Oh oh no, it looks

562
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 1: like the buffalo s that's not that's not that's a

563
00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: skin condition. That's a that's a layer's skin. That's a

564
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:16,600
Speaker 1: layer of wet, loose skin. Man. That's fine, it's fine.

565
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,959
Speaker 1: I don't know what it smells like. Sauce. It's fine

566
00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 1: to carome out. It's not your Carol out Compkin Tompkins, Tompkins.

567
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,239
Speaker 1: I think this is it for me. No, you seem

568
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: to be getting better strokes going away. It's just a

569
00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:37,120
Speaker 1: temporary reprieve. Look, I want you. I want you to

570
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,839
Speaker 1: arrest Jimmy. Two strikes him. Runt you and arrest him.

571
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:50,880
Speaker 1: Tersen has been undercover for Rest the whole time. I

572
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 1: didn't know hair would grow there. I had a badge on. Alright,

573
00:37:56,719 --> 00:38:05,080
Speaker 1: Jimmy's two strikes, You're under arrest. Shot the charges, quick shell,

574
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:11,279
Speaker 1: bullet stroke cheat and bullet stroke. All right, they got

575
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 1: me Drake. Oh look at that's a turkey. I've been

576
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 1: wearing a wire, remember, And while you're contemplating where Terson

577
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,759
Speaker 1: might have plugged in her wire. That's the end of

578
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:38,240
Speaker 1: this particular comes from Alyssa, who wrote, Hello, giggle Gang.

579
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 1: That's a nice name for us. It's happy trademark, trademark,

580
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:51,400
Speaker 1: pink ladies, jackets. We have like violent turf warce Alyssa

581
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,759
Speaker 1: goes on strangely. I love your podcast and have been

582
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 1: a devoted listener since the start. Every morning I hear

583
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:59,880
Speaker 1: birds tripping outside my window and thought of a scene

584
00:39:00,200 --> 00:39:03,719
Speaker 1: a serious group of birdwatchers and a redneck group of

585
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:08,279
Speaker 1: birdwatchers bird hunters clash in the Ozarks while trying to

586
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 1: spot a super rare type of finch. It's always a finch, right,

587
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 1: that are super rare before they fly west for the winter.

588
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that means the finch, not the bird. No

589
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:24,560
Speaker 1: parameters on flies, uh, Each and every one of you

590
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 1: bring brightness to my day. I want to thank you

591
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:30,440
Speaker 1: for the extra dose of laughter in these dark times. Sorry,

592
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 1: especially love Vanessa's billy hobo monster man voice. Wow, what

593
00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 1: a description. Keep up the amazing work. A lista thank you, Alyssa,

594
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 1: were taken out of the ozarks. Just quietly quiet we

595
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:51,240
Speaker 1: know to be quiet quiet, red throat and war blood.

596
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:56,480
Speaker 1: Never get it down. I won't take a picture of it.

597
00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:01,240
Speaker 1: Hold on, I want to take picture of your sound

598
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:04,040
Speaker 1: off all this time you use your camera. Your sound

599
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:07,279
Speaker 1: is okay, I'm turning my sound off, thank you. I apologize,

600
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 1: I'm turning down. It's really beautiful. The sound of that

601
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,920
Speaker 1: isn't it really? It makes me feel all fuzzy and

602
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:19,560
Speaker 1: warm and a little, you know, excited. Yeah, it's excited

603
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 1: to see those animals on the wild. I meant like passionate. Yeah,

604
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,680
Speaker 1: I love I'm passionate about me. I mean like corny.

605
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 1: It makes a little horny. Alright, okay, anyone morning and

606
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 1: anyone horny. I could go either way, anyone knows. I mean,

607
00:40:35,880 --> 00:40:44,919
Speaker 1: oh that the horny story story gorgeous. It's distinctive call

608
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 1: of fuck me? Oh sorry, what was that? Did you say?

609
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 1: Fuck me? It does sound like saying that it is.

610
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:58,160
Speaker 1: It can be saying that it's a bird. That's what

611
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: it's saying. It's saying it first. That's the horny stark.

612
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:07,160
Speaker 1: I know. I can't do here. I've never I've never noticed.

613
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:09,200
Speaker 1: Is your sound on your camera? Is your sound on?

614
00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:11,200
Speaker 1: I turned it off a second? Turn your sound off

615
00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:15,720
Speaker 1: your camera? That finch gorgeous? Do you think that horny

616
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,200
Speaker 1: stalk and the finch might be talking to each other?

617
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 1: They're listening to share the same air. Beautiful, Oh my god, beautiful?

618
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:30,239
Speaker 1: Thank you over here, Joe a nice? Oh hey, look

619
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 1: are you frightened them? Dirty people? Frightened the birds? People? People?

620
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:42,240
Speaker 1: You dandies want us to believe you had a finch

621
00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: in here? Who's who's the dandy? Well, you're all wearing randy,

622
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 1: But now I'm not. It's for me. Look at that

623
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,600
Speaker 1: h just like that hot and cold. Excuse me, so

624
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 1: I'm not wearing a scarf from wearing an ascot, my mistake.

625
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:03,840
Speaker 1: You're protected wetlands, and they certainly are. We're here to

626
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 1: protect him. Show them your guns. Oh my god, we're

627
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:10,359
Speaker 1: gonna die. We didn't come to hunt idiots. We're looking

628
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:14,040
Speaker 1: for bird cooking away our fifteen right here. That's how

629
00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:18,400
Speaker 1: you shoot fully automatic. You guys should be wearing something orange.

630
00:42:18,440 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 1: At least you can't get a orange and get an

631
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 1: orange vastnet. We don't need that. Okay, we're coming with

632
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 1: a group where the bird watching group are trying to

633
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,600
Speaker 1: disappear into nature and not stand out exactly. We like

634
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 1: to take notes exactly. That's how you get shot when

635
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 1: you disappear into nature. And you're telling me, sir, that

636
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,560
Speaker 1: you're here to dispose of these beautiful greaches. I don't

637
00:42:39,560 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 1: know dispose it going to dispose of them. We're gonna

638
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,880
Speaker 1: keep them landing. Come on now, can't keep them off

639
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 1: trap free things. You can kill them and then put

640
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:51,840
Speaker 1: their heads on steps. Oh, come on, come now please,

641
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: that's that's very upsetting. From the city. Yes, we are

642
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:57,920
Speaker 1: you all from the city. You'll get out of your

643
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 1: Yes we did. We have several limousines. The fun yourself

644
00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 1: over there. Good tried this morning, and that's why I'm here. Okay. Yes,

645
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: we're from the big city closest by here in the Ozarks,

646
00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:21,759
Speaker 1: which of course it is Little Rock. Yes, we're all

647
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:27,399
Speaker 1: the feet snobs from Little Rock, Little Rockead, Holy Litle Rock.

648
00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:39,760
Speaker 1: Rock to rock like you almost got that horny stork

649
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,640
Speaker 1: I wish I had. Yeah, you got it? Really? What

650
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:46,040
Speaker 1: looked through the ashole there? I guess when I get

651
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,600
Speaker 1: in the mood, I just kind of want to pull trigger,

652
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,719
Speaker 1: and someone happened. I appreciate that. Rat. Look if you

653
00:43:50,760 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: would if you were to shoot a horny stork. A

654
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 1: horny stork has very specific conditions under which it will

655
00:43:56,719 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 1: reproduce right all day. It's very particular. Let's name the

656
00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:10,719
Speaker 1: first seven. Okay, One, it needs complete silence, right Two?

657
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 1: If he needs a bird of the opposite sex, The

658
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:18,239
Speaker 1: opposite what do you mean? Means that if it's gonna make,

659
00:44:18,320 --> 00:44:21,879
Speaker 1: it's got to have the opposite sex. So it would

660
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 1: be females. It would be up inside it, Yeah, be

661
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 1: upside down if it was opposite. That birds ain't got

662
00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 1: males and females and the walking on the sky and

663
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:36,279
Speaker 1: flying in the ground. That's poetic as hell. That's opposite.

664
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 1: That is pretty poetic. But I'm pretty sure that there

665
00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 1: are such things as boy and girl birds. It's not

666
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:47,600
Speaker 1: worms you're talking about here. Three three moss underfoot. They

667
00:44:47,640 --> 00:44:54,399
Speaker 1: need moss under number three. Right. Four. They will begin

668
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:59,279
Speaker 1: slowly whispering their bird call and then gradually accelerating in

669
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 1: Christianda wing say louder and louder, Carl, Jeff, you're writing down,

670
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 1: yea professor I'm sorry to catch you after hours. I

671
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,759
Speaker 1: was just finishing your book on the mating rituals of

672
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: the of the Horned Um, of the of the of

673
00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:21,520
Speaker 1: the Horny the horny Stork, and uh, I just wanted

674
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:25,280
Speaker 1: to say that your research is amazing and as someone

675
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:27,799
Speaker 1: who grew up in the city and didn't have as

676
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:31,640
Speaker 1: much experience with nature, it's just fantastic. In a little round,

677
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 1: I did wonderful. Yeah. My dad, he runs the sock factory,

678
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:39,359
Speaker 1: so I was I was just always around. Is everything okay?

679
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: And you we're gonna be mopping the floors really soon? Um.

680
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 1: The janitors always can't wait for me to vacate my classroom. Yeah,

681
00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 1: we can go to the hallway. You can use the

682
00:45:51,480 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 1: janitor's closet. If this conversation, I can stay in my classroom.

683
00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:58,480
Speaker 1: Oh can you. I'll just be prepared for some gritty

684
00:45:58,520 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: floors tomorrow. Have they left yet? They haven't left here?

685
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I can't wait till I leave. I

686
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,920
Speaker 1: can't wait. We'll do in that classroom, so many cart wheels.

687
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:11,800
Speaker 1: Even the custodians a snotty here and at the University

688
00:46:11,840 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 1: of Arkansas, a little rock, yes, sir um, but I

689
00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:19,879
Speaker 1: just get you a point. Um, I was wondering. I'm well,

690
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 1: in your book there was some personal passages about meeting

691
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 1: locals and interacting and all that. And I don't know

692
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 1: if you have any more field trips, if that's threaten

693
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 1: for it to planned. But I would love to go

694
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:32,800
Speaker 1: out and we're gonna go into the field with me.

695
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:41,040
Speaker 1: You want to see a horny stalk, mate, don't you? Okay?

696
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 1: Are you? Are you getting turned on right now? I

697
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:47,399
Speaker 1: mean I could go either way. Okay, No, the way

698
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 1: to go is to not get turned on. Are you

699
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:55,799
Speaker 1: turned up? No? No, I'm clinical. I'm a scientist, all

700
00:46:55,920 --> 00:47:00,759
Speaker 1: right to Our job is to observe while remain impartial.

701
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 1: What there's a Horney story righting on campus. Oh my god,

702
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 1: looks like we don't need to do a field trip

703
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: at all. My nibbles are rock hardest stop that. There's

704
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:16,800
Speaker 1: no need for that. They do turn down the the

705
00:47:16,880 --> 00:47:20,040
Speaker 1: a C in the classroom quite low. This exciety service

706
00:47:20,120 --> 00:47:22,719
Speaker 1: is exety. It's right here in the building. It's going

707
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 1: down the hallway. Oh my gosh, I take my shoes off. Okay,

708
00:47:27,560 --> 00:47:31,000
Speaker 1: look at the Costonio staff. Do not intervene, But I

709
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,400
Speaker 1: want to touch it it. No, please, I'm afraid it's

710
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,120
Speaker 1: gonna slip on the floors. I just mought the hall

711
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:40,440
Speaker 1: step away from the bed. I think it's talking to me.

712
00:47:44,200 --> 00:47:49,439
Speaker 1: There are seven conditions. Seven is the moss under there's

713
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:56,120
Speaker 1: clearly not moss. Undefeat in my shoes. No, it's definitely

714
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:59,120
Speaker 1: calling out to me. Each Where should I put my shirt?

715
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:01,440
Speaker 1: Where should I put my leave his shirt on? What

716
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:04,800
Speaker 1: are you doing? Nipples? Rock are right now? Look the

717
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:10,400
Speaker 1: horny The horny stork will only will only mate with

718
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:13,359
Speaker 1: one of its own kind, the of the opposite sex.

719
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:16,160
Speaker 1: Be any of us. No, it's not none of us.

720
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:20,399
Speaker 1: We're not birds. Your research didn't say that. It imply

721
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,600
Speaker 1: there was open ended we we evolved from birds, sir.

722
00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 1: Oh god, another stork. Oh oh the rivals. Okay, it's territory, sir.

723
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 1: They're both male, both male. They're telling us to take

724
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 1: our clothes off. That it's not human speech. It's a

725
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:54,080
Speaker 1: bird call mate. Alright. She's not get saying fuck mate.

726
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:59,000
Speaker 1: He's saying fuck me. And I got these dusters on.

727
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,360
Speaker 1: Look like a bird. Well, look like a bird. Actually,

728
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 1: do you look like a bird? Mate? Is what you

729
00:49:04,280 --> 00:49:10,479
Speaker 1: yell when you win a game of chess. Okay, mate,

730
00:49:12,600 --> 00:49:14,080
Speaker 1: that might be that might be the club, that might

731
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:18,239
Speaker 1: be the club. I'm not sure that is chess club

732
00:49:21,239 --> 00:49:23,719
Speaker 1: as opposed to the chess club, which is two different clubs.

733
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:26,160
Speaker 1: They're not into it at all. No, no, no, this

734
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:31,800
Speaker 1: road road. All right. We should definitely listen to this bird.

735
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,320
Speaker 1: As much as it may sound like human speech, it

736
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:40,400
Speaker 1: is not. It is, professor, Please open your eyes. We

737
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:42,960
Speaker 1: might be at a moment of evolution here. And what

738
00:49:43,040 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 1: if your speech is not human speech but their speech

739
00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:50,080
Speaker 1: is human speech? Okay, okay, look, I need to get

740
00:49:50,120 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 1: this on film. I need to get this on film.

741
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 1: Take off your clothes. Do you mean to dance in

742
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:59,919
Speaker 1: front of the camera. No, sorry, look I'm just trying.

743
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:04,240
Speaker 1: You had to get out of the classroom. Hey, fine,

744
00:50:05,480 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 1: you need to isolate the two birds, these two feather

745
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:19,640
Speaker 1: dusters me fuck me? All right? Fine, if you want

746
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 1: to started orgy with these two birds, then up to

747
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:35,640
Speaker 1: recipient of the Noble Bird Prize, let's Professor Sinn from

748
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 1: Little Rock augurs on. It's such an honor to win

749
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 1: a Noble Bird Prize. My heart was set on the

750
00:50:45,160 --> 00:50:49,520
Speaker 1: Nobel Prize, but I was at open the Noble bird. Look,

751
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 1: don't disparage the award. When a series of students, custodial staff,

752
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 1: random passers by, and fuck chess players had an orgy

753
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:08,440
Speaker 1: with two storks in the hallway of the University of Arkansas,

754
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,320
Speaker 1: Little Rock, I knew it was an unusual set of service.

755
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:16,239
Speaker 1: What wait, we're having an awards ceremony in here? Are

756
00:51:16,239 --> 00:51:24,520
Speaker 1: you idiot? Get out of here? All right? Where was I?

757
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: It was a weird day. I didn't say it was

758
00:51:29,680 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 1: a weird you're paraphrase right now? Yes, I look, I

759
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:37,520
Speaker 1: get nervous when I have to speak in public. So

760
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 1: I did a whole bunch of Cheeto gummies. Okay, I

761
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:47,120
Speaker 1: know that they're not legal yet in Arkansas, but I

762
00:51:47,239 --> 00:51:50,000
Speaker 1: went on a trip to Ohio and got a bunch

763
00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:53,359
Speaker 1: of Cheeto gummies. Doesn't make it legal, all right, Yeah,

764
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:58,239
Speaker 1: you're right, it doesn't make it legal. But when when

765
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 1: you need to do a citizen's arrest, dude, hold hold

766
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 1: my mouth, barbercue barbecu? What is that? Oh god? Alright,

767
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:21,000
Speaker 1: next case looks to be the people, Little Rock versus professor.

768
00:52:22,280 --> 00:52:25,319
Speaker 1: Am I pronouncing this correctly? I don't know? All right?

769
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 1: Sybury sank Bayliff. Uh, sir, you've been brought up on

770
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:38,080
Speaker 1: charges of illegal marijuana on your person and for consumption,

771
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 1: not sales. So that's helpful to you. But good people

772
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:45,600
Speaker 1: would also like to add a charge. Is it too late,

773
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:48,839
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say no. Let's hear it. Um we think

774
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:53,839
Speaker 1: he f you s k E D A bird based

775
00:52:53,880 --> 00:52:58,200
Speaker 1: realities a federal offense in Arkansas. I would never We

776
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 1: have an audio recording of the bird and you yelling

777
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,840
Speaker 1: back and forth sex talk. Let's play that now for

778
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 1: the people. Fuck me, fuck me me, suck me, fuck me,

779
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:11,600
Speaker 1: fuck me. That's enough, thank you. It's I was doing

780
00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 1: a bird call. That's a bird call. I was summoning

781
00:53:15,600 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 1: a store that was phone sex with a bird that

782
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 1: was not on the phone lines of Ohio. Alright, if

783
00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 1: I could just have the stenographer read that back, please

784
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:28,600
Speaker 1: fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. There's no nuance there.

785
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 1: Oh well, I'm sorry. I'm no actor, all right, I'm

786
00:53:32,640 --> 00:53:37,919
Speaker 1: just a I make minimum wage. I'm no dext de ended.

787
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:43,160
Speaker 1: You know that's nearly I am merely a professor of

788
00:53:43,239 --> 00:53:47,240
Speaker 1: Avian studies. Bring Larry Turkey into this courtroom. Might understan

789
00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:52,719
Speaker 1: you're pleading innocent today, sir, Yes, possession of marijuana and

790
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:55,800
Speaker 1: also the bird phone sex. Right, we'll get to that

791
00:53:55,880 --> 00:53:59,040
Speaker 1: second charge momentarily. So you had marijuana on your person

792
00:53:59,120 --> 00:54:03,280
Speaker 1: when you were wrestled to the ground. Apparently you announced

793
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:07,759
Speaker 1: to a room of witnesses that you had consumed. And

794
00:54:08,280 --> 00:54:15,399
Speaker 1: I have a lawyer. Is wait, is this some kind

795
00:54:15,400 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 1: of sham? Try? What is this order in the court? Please?

796
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,200
Speaker 1: Will we help your son? Yeah? Sorry, I'm yes, sorry,

797
00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:24,279
Speaker 1: I'm looking for Oh yeah, this is my guy. I am.

798
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: I am the prosecute. I'm I'm helping him. Are you

799
00:54:30,880 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 1: I need a defense lawyer? Public? Yes? A sign? Yes,

800
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:38,600
Speaker 1: the public you were my lawyer. I've got all these teeth.

801
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:41,000
Speaker 1: I got to get ride off steel. I'm gonna work

802
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:44,279
Speaker 1: on there. Give me a second. Okay, your client is

803
00:54:44,760 --> 00:54:47,440
Speaker 1: the plea of innis, and I'll decide if he's my client.

804
00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:57,160
Speaker 1: A thumbs up. Okay, So my client is let's see here, Okay,

805
00:54:57,520 --> 00:55:01,440
Speaker 1: he is me and my dog. Remember bird got all

806
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:04,200
Speaker 1: these teeth here? Okay, okay, so he has all these teeth?

807
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 1: Is that correct? No? No, that's not me. The cases

808
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 1: mixed up. Um uh. We'll continue and then I'll jump

809
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:16,480
Speaker 1: in as as go for it. Look, yes, sir, I

810
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 1: I filmed on my iPhone a man bird orgy. What

811
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 1: that that? I don't say it like you're my lawyer. Look,

812
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:31,799
Speaker 1: that was was viewed as a scientific breakthrough. I want

813
00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:37,839
Speaker 1: a noble bird produce objection. Are the people allowed to object? Sure? Um,

814
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:41,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. It helps if you have a reason

815
00:55:41,880 --> 00:55:44,920
Speaker 1: for your objection. I felt like I did. Can we

816
00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:48,239
Speaker 1: give her a second? You don't have to, It's all right.

817
00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 1: I don't want Dan, if you're going for thirty seven

818
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:54,360
Speaker 1: cases in a row of being held in contempt your

819
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 1: mudy clothes. Yes, I mean I was going to say

820
00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:59,200
Speaker 1: something about, like, you know, him calling it science, but

821
00:55:59,280 --> 00:56:02,399
Speaker 1: it's it's still it's still perverted. Yeah, it's perverted. It's

822
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:09,320
Speaker 1: a perverted science. Yeah, he is a pervert. So you

823
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:13,560
Speaker 1: say there's a Noble Bird Prize, Yes, and you were recipient? Yes,

824
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 1: because I documented this event. It's event involving birds and people. Yes. Right,

825
00:56:19,120 --> 00:56:21,800
Speaker 1: So you understand beast reality is illegal. I do not

826
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:25,879
Speaker 1: participate in. It's a federal crime in the state. Why

827
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,080
Speaker 1: are you saying that, Thanks, Dan, You're welcome to take

828
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 1: a seat. Uh so that charge aside. Uh, you're pleading

829
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,000
Speaker 1: innocent to possession of marijuana and yet it was found

830
00:56:38,040 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 1: on your person? How do you explain that? Is that true?

831
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 1: Don't don't grill me. Okay, look all right, fine, I'll

832
00:56:48,040 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 1: plead no contest to the marijuana charges. Excellent, read that

833
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:56,840
Speaker 1: back if you would please? Um? What was that? It

834
00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,719
Speaker 1: was really quick? Would you would not have heard that?

835
00:56:58,760 --> 00:57:06,040
Speaker 1: It's really quick? Fun? I could see no better way

836
00:57:06,120 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 1: to wrap up this particular episode. This what a wild

837
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:14,200
Speaker 1: bird cage we have assembled for you. We have a

838
00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 1: guest engineer that I'd like to thank at the top,

839
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 1: but I'm gonna need some help with some guesses on

840
00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:23,640
Speaker 1: his last name. His first name is Chris. This gentleman

841
00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 1: was coughed up by our very own doug Bane and

842
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 1: we're very grateful for Chris to be here. But here's

843
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:32,080
Speaker 1: how the last name is spelled. And for Carla and

844
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,480
Speaker 1: Craig or just back from Poland, perhaps you could lend

845
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:43,280
Speaker 1: some insight. Spelled capitalist z c Z E c H.

846
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 1: Let's go with Carla for the wind check Chris check okay,

847
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 1: Church it okay, Jimmy James. I was gonna say scissors still,

848
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 1: but I think that sounds pronounced Okay, I'm gonna suggest

849
00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:06,760
Speaker 1: Miller as the way it's it's translated. That's right. Yeah, Joe,

850
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:11,000
Speaker 1: did you have a say? Okay? Uh, Chris, you want

851
00:58:11,040 --> 00:58:13,760
Speaker 1: to get close to this microphone? Or an exact pronunciation

852
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:22,080
Speaker 1: of your lass other full name, Chriss. Where did the

853
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 1: peak come from? The same way that koski? You're drinking

854
00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 1: of sissi? You're gonna it's the cerillicp of it. Let's

855
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 1: thank our alchemists, Garlic Kakowski. First of all, thank you

856
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:38,600
Speaker 1: for coming back to the United States of America from Poland.

857
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:43,760
Speaker 1: Thanks for having me Kevin. Yeah, always appreciate having you

858
00:58:43,880 --> 00:58:51,000
Speaker 1: joined the team. Venete Uh listen, Uh, since it's a

859
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:55,400
Speaker 1: moment by moment, day by day's situation. Uh, we were

860
00:58:55,520 --> 00:59:00,440
Speaker 1: we're all very very excited. Uh and and look forward

861
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:06,000
Speaker 1: to the extraordinary moment in the meantime. How you doing,

862
00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:11,000
Speaker 1: because it's just great. This is the you can see

863
00:59:11,240 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 1: the home stretch of incubating a humane and trying to

864
00:59:16,120 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 1: be grateful for that. And um, you're still glowing. I'm

865
00:59:21,080 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 1: still looking spectacular. Oh no, just perspiration. But everything's good. Okay,

866
00:59:27,920 --> 00:59:32,000
Speaker 1: I'm a happy person. Okay. Good Uh. And Craig you

867
00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:35,439
Speaker 1: too are in the closing closing moments of I'm also

868
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:43,120
Speaker 1: incubating a human. I'm hoping to release him. You need

869
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:48,160
Speaker 1: to get to the crapper. Is that what you're saying. Well,

870
00:59:48,240 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 1: he's a fella, Jimmy James. Uh, well, it's been wonderful

871
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:56,960
Speaker 1: here And if you haven't seen Sama Paints amazing, we

872
00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 1: should give this ridiculous shout out to Uh is it

873
01:00:00,520 --> 01:00:04,520
Speaker 1: Sama dot pain period paints on Instagram? It's the best

874
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:10,320
Speaker 1: I can m a Sama dot paint, Yeah paint. Uh

875
01:00:10,520 --> 01:00:14,960
Speaker 1: they it's Spencer Spencer. His name is Spencer. Okay, So

876
01:00:15,080 --> 01:00:20,080
Speaker 1: Spencer has created these uh amazing animation animation versions of

877
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:23,960
Speaker 1: scenes from the podcast moments. They're about a minute long.

878
01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:25,920
Speaker 1: It seems like there's three of them, and um, have

879
01:00:26,040 --> 01:00:28,200
Speaker 1: we posted them yet to our site? Yeah? I think so.

880
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 1: I Instagram, No, I don't know. They're on they're on

881
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:36,480
Speaker 1: his and that we've we've shared it. They're on some

882
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 1: of our pages and all that, but it's definitely on.

883
01:00:38,360 --> 01:00:41,040
Speaker 1: We'll make sure it's on ours. But check out Sama

884
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 1: dot paint and thank you for sharing your talents and

885
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:50,160
Speaker 1: making us it's fun. Yeah, it's amazing. Description and they're

886
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:53,600
Speaker 1: not yet on the Alchemy. Okay, good, Vanessa's check and

887
01:00:53,600 --> 01:00:56,040
Speaker 1: we're gonna make damn sure. Joey, how will you leave

888
01:00:56,120 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 1: us this show? I'm gonna leave you all with a

889
01:00:58,440 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 1: little bit of wisdom. Ok Wait, wait for it, and

890
01:01:02,600 --> 01:01:05,680
Speaker 1: just go out there whatever you're doing, and just remember

891
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 1: that there that that in in whatever we do, in

892
01:01:10,720 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 1: anything you're doing. It doesn't matter when we're out there

893
01:01:14,040 --> 01:01:21,880
Speaker 1: doing it. Just remember you're you're doing in that. Remember

894
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 1: remember you're doing it. Remember you're doing it. Thank you

895
01:01:26,160 --> 01:01:29,360
Speaker 1: all right, well, thank you to Chris again and uh

896
01:01:29,800 --> 01:01:36,840
Speaker 1: Raphael b sound design engineer. I heart Media, and thanks

897
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:40,120
Speaker 1: Sophie Lichtiman our producer, and thanks to all of you

898
01:01:40,280 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 1: continue to write to us. I love your emails and

899
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:45,880
Speaker 1: you're scene suggestions. Your name here at alchemy this dot com.

900
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:47,760
Speaker 1: That's your name here at Alchemy this dot com. I'm

901
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,880
Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock and on behalf of everyone in the room

902
01:02:01,920 --> 01:02:21,480
Speaker 1: and a football pepper and a football pl