Speaker 1: What you see when you see a picture says more
Speaker 1: about you than the people in the picture. Oh, that's
Speaker 1: a good one. And for art to be subjective, people
Speaker 1: really be getting in their feelings when somebody else has
Speaker 1: an opinion about something. To stop that, dead ass. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm cadem and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellises. You
Speaker 1: may know us from posting funny videos with our boys
Speaker 1: and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait,
Speaker 1: I make you need therapy most days. Wow. Oh, and
Speaker 1: one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir,
Speaker 1: we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue about
Speaker 1: some of life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't
Speaker 1: want to talk about through the lens of a millennial
Speaker 1: married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say
Speaker 1: every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually
Speaker 1: saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and
Speaker 1: nothing but the truth. We bother to a whole new level.
Speaker 1: Dead ass starts right now. I'm gonna take you guys
Speaker 1: back to I think it was two thousand and I
Speaker 1: know it was two thousand and eighteen. Yes, Kadeen and
Speaker 1: I were in Ceview Park. Um, this was summer of
Speaker 1: two eighteen. We had started to kind of grow a
Speaker 1: little bit in social media. Um I had about Big
Speaker 1: Caves was born. I had about two hundred and something
Speaker 1: thousand followers. I think you had about fifty some thousand
Speaker 1: followers at the time. And we were walking through Cevil Park.
Speaker 1: Your brother was coming to take pictures and I was like, yo, baby, like,
Speaker 1: you know, you look great, Like it's the summertime you
Speaker 1: got you got your body back, and you was like,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling good. So we took a picture and in
Speaker 1: the picture, Kadeen was in the foreground and in the
Speaker 1: background it's me holding Cairo's hand. I had cats in
Speaker 1: my arms and I had Jackson in my other hand,
Speaker 1: and you were in the front with your hand on
Speaker 1: your hip and an empowering pose. And I posted a
Speaker 1: picture and the caption on the picture was about me
Speaker 1: being proud of you and what you've been able to
Speaker 1: accomplish having these three kids and getting back in front
Speaker 1: of camera and doing well and blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: And there were a couple of comments that turned into
Speaker 1: a lot of comments when a couple of people felt like,
Speaker 1: I don't know why the black Man has to be
Speaker 1: in the back of the picture holding the baby, like
Speaker 1: why he can't be in the front, And of course
Speaker 1: people started to interject their thoughts and ideas, and it
Speaker 1: became a thing at the bottom of the picture, and
Speaker 1: it no longer became about the empowerment of you, but
Speaker 1: about why de Voo had to be in the back
Speaker 1: holding the kids. And I remember in that moment realizing like, wow,
Speaker 1: I didn't think that that picture was going to evoke
Speaker 1: that type of reaction from people. But I learned my lesson,
Speaker 1: and they probably bypassed the caption yes, where you were
Speaker 1: trying to empower me. But again, it's people's idea of
Speaker 1: looking at a picture and what that means. Yes, interesting,
Speaker 1: sounds familiar. Something's happening recently. Something happened recently, I'll talk
Speaker 1: about it for sure. So this karaoke is dedicated to
Speaker 1: some of the comments that I saw when we were
Speaker 1: looking at the photo of Rihanna and Asap Rocky and
Speaker 1: their son right after the Super Bowl came out, and
Speaker 1: one of the comments that came out was says, who cares,
Speaker 1: that's just her baby daddy, that's not even her husband.
Speaker 1: So this song is dedicated to that comment, that's just
Speaker 1: my baby daddy, that's just my baby daddy. Oh, that
Speaker 1: just my baby daddy, My baby daddy. First and foremost,
Speaker 1: I want to say this, everybody doesn't believe in marriage.
Speaker 1: So just because two people aren't married, just giving them
Speaker 1: the title of that's just the baby daddy, is your
Speaker 1: idea of what that is? That's trifling? This out right,
Speaker 1: and that's it's fucked up, to be honest, because I
Speaker 1: know some good partnerships where people are not married who
Speaker 1: are doing way better than people who are actually married.
Speaker 1: Amazing cope and living in a very toxic household as
Speaker 1: marriage people. So marriage is not the aspiration for many
Speaker 1: so and it's not the aspiration for everyone. So sometimes
Speaker 1: people choose that their lifestyle is going to be this
Speaker 1: one Um. That was that comment, because to me, that
Speaker 1: was the funniest comment was that who cares where he is?
Speaker 1: That's just her baby daddy. It's not like that's her husband.
Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, that's really your thought process
Speaker 1: about the whole thing. That's kind of messed up. But
Speaker 1: like I said in the beginning, what you feel about
Speaker 1: a picture says a lot more about you than it
Speaker 1: does about the people in the picture. So we're gonna
Speaker 1: take a quick break. Okay, we're gonna get back, get back.
Speaker 1: I want to ask you a couple of questions because
Speaker 1: you know, you think about Hollywood and what's being masculation. Also,
Speaker 1: Jonathan Major's pictures a cover. So yeah, let's unpack some
Speaker 1: of That'll be interested to know what you think. Click around, y'all.
Speaker 1: So we're back all right now. So we're talking the
Speaker 1: emasculation of the black man. Yeah, particularly in Hollywood. What
Speaker 1: that looks like? So many different opinions floating around out there.
Speaker 1: You know, the social media world gets very you know, convoluted,
Speaker 1: very quickly the minute stuff like this comes out. But
Speaker 1: going back to your story time and thinking about that moment,
Speaker 1: you know, I know that you, as my husband who's
Speaker 1: very secure in your manhood, in your masculinity, and who
Speaker 1: you are as the leader, protector, provider of our household.
Speaker 1: I think in that security that you have, in that
Speaker 1: confidence that you have, you're always okay putting me in
Speaker 1: the forefront, yes, and not feeling a way about that
Speaker 1: because you feel like, Okay, my wife, within her own right,
Speaker 1: can do her own things. But that used to showcase
Speaker 1: her or highlight her or celebrate her in this moment. Yes,
Speaker 1: And I'm very much a father, very much an active father, Yes,
Speaker 1: very much an active husband. So if I have all
Speaker 1: my boys that I'm juggling and we're all standing behind
Speaker 1: my wife, it's also a protection thing that we have, right.
Speaker 1: You think about the protect the queen that we've enacted
Speaker 1: with the boys, and I don't go anywhere even if
Speaker 1: the val is not around, I don't go anywhere without
Speaker 1: them boy is being around. What They're going to support
Speaker 1: me and they're gonna protect me. And that's the imagery
Speaker 1: that we choose to put forward. Yes, um. That shows
Speaker 1: a reflection in our family that moment, in that moment, right.
Speaker 1: But there's also two the waymaker cover that we did recently, yes,
Speaker 1: right um. And you can explain the position of the
Speaker 1: family and that because people could have said the same
Speaker 1: thing that they're saying about the Rihanna picture, not necessarily similarly,
Speaker 1: we made very clear choices with that, because art is
Speaker 1: about choices, of course, and how we want the picture
Speaker 1: to be received. Well, what I'm thinking of, though, the
Speaker 1: reason I say like Rihanna's picture is because in that image, right,
Speaker 1: she's in the forefront. But it's not the same, So
Speaker 1: go ahead and unpack that picture for us then maybe
Speaker 1: like why the positioning was important for you in that shot.
Speaker 1: So in that moment, and this is what I think
Speaker 1: people forget about art. Right, art is about moments. Right
Speaker 1: art doesn't encompass your whole family, your whole life all
Speaker 1: the time in one picture. Art is about the moment.
Speaker 1: In that moment and see view Park, I was so
Speaker 1: very proud of you because you had just delivered our
Speaker 1: third child at home in the water. You had just
Speaker 1: made a decision that you were going to get back
Speaker 1: in front of the camera. And for me, in that moment,
Speaker 1: it was, this is about Codeine. Let me empower her.
Speaker 1: I got the kids at this point because for the
Speaker 1: first part of our marriage, you were having babies and
Speaker 1: I was in the forefront right when I was playing football.
Speaker 1: I was in the forefront, when I was doing MSG
Speaker 1: varsity and was opening up the gym and doing all
Speaker 1: the things with the business. I was in the forefront
Speaker 1: and you supported me. So for me in this moment,
Speaker 1: it was let me support my wife and empower her,
Speaker 1: putting her in the forefront and make it so and
Speaker 1: make it very clear that she is not the caretaker
Speaker 1: in this moment. I am the caretaker. She gonna go
Speaker 1: and be about her business. That was my choice in
Speaker 1: that moment. That didn't encompass our whole family. But what
Speaker 1: I did notice when I was reading a lot of
Speaker 1: them the comments where some men and some women were
Speaker 1: just like, I don't know why every time we showed
Speaker 1: a black family, and this was twenty eighteen, a lot
Speaker 1: of people didn't know us. Why the black man has
Speaker 1: to be in the back and the black woman always
Speaker 1: has to be in the front. Why do we always
Speaker 1: emasculate black men? And what it showed me in that
Speaker 1: moment was whow A lot of people are triggered by
Speaker 1: what they go through and what they see, not even
Speaker 1: listening or reading the caption, not seeing what we're trying
Speaker 1: to encompass in that moment. They're they're trying to say,
Speaker 1: this picture embodies their whole family all the time. And
Speaker 1: I want to take that to Ashap and Rihanna. People
Speaker 1: have asked me what do I think about the cover.
Speaker 1: I personally thought it was great. Rihanna's coming out of retirement,
Speaker 1: she just had his baby, She's doing the Super Bowl,
Speaker 1: she's a billionaire. When I first saw the cover, all
Speaker 1: I thought was, Wow, she took a break to be
Speaker 1: home with her family, build the family, create the family,
Speaker 1: because women are the vessel of life. Now she's stepping
Speaker 1: back into the forefront. When I saw a step, I'm like, yo,
Speaker 1: he's the father holding it, holding it down so his
Speaker 1: wife can go do her thing. But we're not married, right,
Speaker 1: not married, But it's his child's mother can go. And
Speaker 1: she's pregnant again now, so they're gonna have another child's mother.
Speaker 1: They're in a relationship. Yeah, that's that's you can say, right, so,
Speaker 1: and I don't we don't know because they're not public.
Speaker 1: We don't know if they're engaged or if they're planning nuptials.
Speaker 1: We really don't know. But when I saw the picture,
Speaker 1: I felt like, oh shit, that's dope. And then the
Speaker 1: comment started to come out right, and one of my
Speaker 1: home girls, Tiffany, was just like yo, like why does
Speaker 1: everything has to be about emasculating the black man? And
Speaker 1: what I was trying to explain to her was that
Speaker 1: other people's opinions about the picture are their opinions, and
Speaker 1: oftentime they're triggered by their own personal experiences. So if
Speaker 1: another man sees that and he feels like this is
Speaker 1: an asculation agenda, that's what he feels. That's how the
Speaker 1: picture made him feel. When you present art to the world,
Speaker 1: there's going to be different opinions. What we have to
Speaker 1: stop doing is expecting other people to agree with how
Speaker 1: that art is supposed to make us feel. That man
Speaker 1: had that opinion about Asappan and Rihanna, that's his opinion.
Speaker 1: It's not my job to convince him that his opinion
Speaker 1: is wrong. That's how it made him feel. What I
Speaker 1: can only do is tell him what I saw based
Speaker 1: on my opinion, and then we talk about it and
Speaker 1: be like, oh, I learned this from you, or you
Speaker 1: learned this from me, or we can agree to disagree.
Speaker 1: But it doesn't have to be a thing where I
Speaker 1: now have to convince everybody else that my opinion is
Speaker 1: the most valid. It's just trying to understand how people
Speaker 1: come up with those opinions. And the reason why I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about that first before we get into
Speaker 1: the waymaker is because when it was presented to me
Speaker 1: to do the cover, and that's to do the family
Speaker 1: issue of the cover, we were very deliberate about how
Speaker 1: we wanted to represent our family, right, and you're transition
Speaker 1: that we did okay right. And the only reason why
Speaker 1: I'm bringing this up is because I want to talk
Speaker 1: about the artistic aspect of how we decide to do
Speaker 1: all right, because people have to understand too. With photo shoots,
Speaker 1: typically there is not they don't just go to the
Speaker 1: shoot and then you know, just act as if things
Speaker 1: happen on the spot. A lot of things are very
Speaker 1: well thought out. There's mood boards, there's discussion, what's the
Speaker 1: angle that we're trying to say? What are we trying
Speaker 1: to evoke here? Right? A lot of that goes into
Speaker 1: a photo shoots Yes, lights, yes, wardrobe, everything, everything, everything, mood,
Speaker 1: all of that because it can completely change the whole
Speaker 1: entire image. So that was important for us with the
Speaker 1: with the waymakers shoes Yes, And we took several different
Speaker 1: pictures and I felt all the pictures told a different story.
Speaker 1: And the biggest thing was and that's what people don't
Speaker 1: realize is how important makeup, lighting and fashion is with photography.
Speaker 1: So the picture we selected for a wayfaren. The reason
Speaker 1: why I want to use this as an example is
Speaker 1: because I can only tell you what we went through.
Speaker 1: We can't tell y'all what and how they chose, but
Speaker 1: I can tell you how we chose you I'll cover
Speaker 1: We started with wardrobe and a mood board what we
Speaker 1: wanted to build out. Right. After you build out the
Speaker 1: right wardrobe, then it's hair, hair and makeup, and then
Speaker 1: it's lighting. Then it's outside. We have to find a background. Right,
Speaker 1: So we chose the big dress for Codein. We chose
Speaker 1: the tuxedo for me all the boys. And the reason
Speaker 1: why we chose those because we wanted to be an
Speaker 1: elevated version of Brooklyn, so we wanted it to be
Speaker 1: still the Brooklyn Ellison, So we chose the stoop. We
Speaker 1: got the stop in Brooklyn, and the boys were all
Speaker 1: going to be in an elevated version of casual wear. Right,
Speaker 1: and my dress, I was really trying to go for
Speaker 1: something different, Right, did you guys usually see me in
Speaker 1: something or form fitting and you know, blitz and glam.
Speaker 1: But I was trying to do something a little bit more.
Speaker 1: I can't say subtle, because the dress was a big
Speaker 1: touble at all subtle about it. It was the different style,
Speaker 1: a different tape on Codein. Right, So we took a
Speaker 1: whole bunch of different photos. One had Codeine at the
Speaker 1: bottom so they can see the dress go through the bottom,
Speaker 1: and then I was at the top, and then all
Speaker 1: the boys were at the top of the stairs. But
Speaker 1: then we were kind of like, and does this really
Speaker 1: represent our family? Looks disconnected. So then we landed on
Speaker 1: Codeine being in the middle one because it showed the
Speaker 1: full dress and all the tooling. Two she was surrounded
Speaker 1: by all of the men in her life for protection.
Speaker 1: And three I was at the top of the stair
Speaker 1: holding our youngest child, which in our minds showed the
Speaker 1: full structure of our family. The Vale is the leader.
Speaker 1: I'm the leader, but Codein is the queen. Protect the queen.
Speaker 1: She was the centerpiece of the photo. So what we decided.
Speaker 1: I sat down with Josh and Matt and we were like, yo,
Speaker 1: what do you think about this photo? I said, it
Speaker 1: says a lot because we did that. We're like, what
Speaker 1: does this photo say that about every single photo that
Speaker 1: was taken, and what does it say in this moment?
Speaker 1: Because this is the moment and in our eyes, this
Speaker 1: is what the photo said. The val is holding the
Speaker 1: youngest in a position of protection. He is slightly behind
Speaker 1: Codein in a position of protection, but he's at the
Speaker 1: top of the stairs. Codein is the centerpiece of the family.
Speaker 1: She's the only woman. She's in the middle for protect
Speaker 1: but she's also the centerpiece. So you have the leader
Speaker 1: and you have the centerpiece. That's how we sat down
Speaker 1: and figured out this would be the best way to
Speaker 1: represent our family in this moment, this moment. Now, that
Speaker 1: does not mean that if Cadeen books a daytime talk
Speaker 1: show and she's about to go on a world tour
Speaker 1: for speaking engagement and has a book coming out, and
Speaker 1: if way Maker asks us to do another cover, Codein
Speaker 1: is not going to be in the front holding my
Speaker 1: hand with me holding the kids. Because in that moment,
Speaker 1: it's all about Codein. And that's what I think people
Speaker 1: are missing about the ASAP and Rihanna. Right, it wasn't
Speaker 1: just a regular family shoot on a random wasn't It
Speaker 1: wasn't that to the baby photo shoot either. No, it
Speaker 1: wasn't about the baby. It wasn't about a SAP. It
Speaker 1: was about Rihanna being introduced back into society as now
Speaker 1: a billionaire, but also just doing the Super Bowl and saying, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm about to get back into what I normally do.
Speaker 1: So what I think people are missing is the artist
Speaker 1: aspect of what photos mean. But also in the moment.
Speaker 1: Don't take away the moment. No one says this is
Speaker 1: our family structure and this is what it represents all
Speaker 1: the time. This is the moment. But I'm also not
Speaker 1: going to discredit how people feel when they see the
Speaker 1: picture because it's art. Art is supposed to make you
Speaker 1: feel away if you're a man, and particularly a black man.
Speaker 1: And the reason why I say black man is because
Speaker 1: historically black men have not been held in a position
Speaker 1: of power when it comes to white publications. Neither have
Speaker 1: black women. But we are living in a time of
Speaker 1: women empowerment and we see more black women being honored
Speaker 1: and praised in these situations, and I feel like a
Speaker 1: lot of black men feel like, when is it going
Speaker 1: to be our turn? And I will say this, I've
Speaker 1: had this argument with a lot of my colleagues about
Speaker 1: things that they see on Instagram and social media. You
Speaker 1: tend to see what you search. So if you search
Speaker 1: the same stuff over and over again, and it's pictures
Speaker 1: in video of black men being emasculated or denigrated, that's
Speaker 1: what you're going to see. I mean, anybody can find
Speaker 1: supporting evidence for any whatever their argument is exactly, and
Speaker 1: that's my point. My point is social media has made
Speaker 1: it where you constantly search one thing, it gets fed
Speaker 1: to your phone. So then your reality, your reality becomes
Speaker 1: what you searched. You understand what I'm saying. So rather
Speaker 1: than searching how many black men have been emasculated, or
Speaker 1: the denigration of black men, or the denigration of black families,
Speaker 1: how about we start searching the empowerment and start looking
Speaker 1: for the reasons we should be proud so that those
Speaker 1: can be fed to our phone so we can get
Speaker 1: out of this narrative that it's only happening in this
Speaker 1: one moment, because that's just not true. You said that,
Speaker 1: You just said that you don't feel like black men
Speaker 1: have ever been viewed in a position of power in publications,
Speaker 1: right in European based publication, because I'm about to say,
Speaker 1: we probably had some black men on some covers. You
Speaker 1: have Jonathan Majors for example, absolutely Ebony recently, but that's
Speaker 1: not a European publication. Ebony is a Black public But
Speaker 1: what I'm saying is when we talk about the black
Speaker 1: family in publications, um typically it's the black man is
Speaker 1: not celebrated in European publications with the black family. It's not.
Speaker 1: And I'll give you an example. Um, if you follow sports,
Speaker 1: it is well known that the black single mom narrative
Speaker 1: in sports is celebrated. They talk about Lebron's mom all
Speaker 1: the time, they talk about KDE's mom. But then when
Speaker 1: you have a guy like LaVar Ball right who's demonstrative
Speaker 1: and wants to make sure his sons get the best,
Speaker 1: he's demonized, right and for people who'd be like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: LaVar Ball is crazy. When Archie Manning was trying to
Speaker 1: control everything about his son's being drafted in and was
Speaker 1: refusing for the Chargers to draft, uh no, it wasn't.
Speaker 1: It was Eli Manning. It was Archie Manning. Archie Manning
Speaker 1: is but he was trying to control where Eli Manning
Speaker 1: got drafted. No one said that he was overstepping. It
Speaker 1: was Wow, this is a dad who's trying to do
Speaker 1: the best there for his kids. You know, when when
Speaker 1: King Richard Richard Williams was trying to make sure that
Speaker 1: his daughters were protected and did things the way he wanted,
Speaker 1: he was demonized. You know, so I feel like there
Speaker 1: is a long history of black men in powerful positions
Speaker 1: who try to lead for their families get demonized for
Speaker 1: being what they want to be for their families. Well
Speaker 1: what about being so in terms of being there for
Speaker 1: their families in the position that they want to be.
Speaker 1: Who's to say that a SAP is not perfectly okay
Speaker 1: holding out a fort with the baby, changing diapers and
Speaker 1: all that while his woman is out there making her moves. Again,
Speaker 1: I feel that, you know, and I think nobody even
Speaker 1: investigates if that was even a discussion that they might
Speaker 1: have had. Like, he looked like he was very much
Speaker 1: enjoying her Super Bowl performance from the sidelines, not trying
Speaker 1: to make it about him either, Right, he just seemed
Speaker 1: like he was enjoying the show like everybody else, supporting
Speaker 1: his woman. Well, why can't that be the case? I
Speaker 1: can tell you this, that picture did not get to
Speaker 1: publication without the approval of Rihanna and ASAP. Like, no
Speaker 1: one is going to just allow their likeness to be
Speaker 1: used without saying I didn't proof, especially Rihanna, She was
Speaker 1: probably all up in that. So clearly they're both okay
Speaker 1: with not only the picture but the dynamic of how
Speaker 1: their family exists and is being presented to the world
Speaker 1: in this moment, which is fine, you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: which I think is perfectly fine, but I think people
Speaker 1: forget about the moment that and that to me, I
Speaker 1: want if you walk away from anything from this podcast,
Speaker 1: understand that we're talking about the moment, right, but we
Speaker 1: have to stop doing as consumers of content. Is taking
Speaker 1: a picture and saying that this picture represents everything in
Speaker 1: this totality means it represents the black family and it
Speaker 1: represents the black family in eternity. It's not this picture
Speaker 1: represents Rihanna and Asap in their child in that moment,
Speaker 1: because there could be another photo that comes out of
Speaker 1: them on another cover which is completely different in a
Speaker 1: couple of months, you know what I'm saying, And that
Speaker 1: that leads me to also the Jonathan Major's cover, right,
Speaker 1: Eban did to cover with Jonathan Majors. I don't know
Speaker 1: who saw it, but Valentine's Day, February and it was
Speaker 1: one way. He had the gene the gene the hygiene
Speaker 1: boots with the coat sitting on the back of the
Speaker 1: couch and he had his legs crossed in his face.
Speaker 1: I think he's poking his lips. There was also the
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day one with the roses and all. Yes, I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess it was one of those things where beauties
Speaker 1: in the either beholder right. Personally, for me, that image
Speaker 1: didn't do it for which one the roses or yeah,
Speaker 1: the roses with the box? No, no, you like the
Speaker 1: entire shoot. To me personally, I was just kind of like,
Speaker 1: you know, okay, but did you feel like he was
Speaker 1: being immasculated? That's the thing. I didn't feel like it
Speaker 1: was an emasculation thing. I just felt like it was,
Speaker 1: in my eyes, not styled in a way that I
Speaker 1: thought was attractive. You know, um, I've seen him look
Speaker 1: better in better shoots. I've seen him portrayed, you know,
Speaker 1: um more in a more masculine way. Yeah, And it
Speaker 1: wasn't even a masculine feminine thing. I just didn't find
Speaker 1: it sexy, if that's what they were going for, like
Speaker 1: sex symbol on the cover of Ebony magazine holding the roses.
Speaker 1: It just didn't read like that to me. And I
Speaker 1: think that he's, you know, an attractive guy, and he's
Speaker 1: doing a lot of things in Hollywood and all that.
Speaker 1: But the emasculation part. I didn't necessarily see that. I
Speaker 1: just felt like that artistically was what they wanted to do.
Speaker 1: And he of course had to sign off on that
Speaker 1: as well too, right because he said no covers go
Speaker 1: to print unless said just what I wanted. Proves it absolutely,
Speaker 1: you know, but you, as a black man in Hollywood,
Speaker 1: is sending how do you feel about that? Well, to me,
Speaker 1: I'm not into fashion like that, like y'all know. With me,
Speaker 1: I'm wear the same T shirt every day, i wear
Speaker 1: the same sweatpant. So I'm not hit on what's fashionable
Speaker 1: and what's not fashionable. Like I see things and to me,
Speaker 1: sometimes things are just not fashionable or what I would wear.
Speaker 1: I'm from Brooklyn, I grew up in the nineties. I
Speaker 1: would wear Tim's jeans, bootcut gems. You know what I'm
Speaker 1: saying like that, which is to me, But I've also
Speaker 1: learned through my my styling team shout out to shall
Speaker 1: Read that you have to change things up. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, as and evolved as a person,
Speaker 1: unless you want to get uck as that old man
Speaker 1: who still wears the same clothes that you wore when
Speaker 1: you were in high school and to me. Also, fashion
Speaker 1: is always not about masculine feminine. For example, the whole
Speaker 1: wearing a mask, big baggy clothes with the holes in it,
Speaker 1: with the big boots thing, I don't think that's a
Speaker 1: masculine feminine thing. To me, that's just not what I
Speaker 1: want to wear. But it's fashionable. People are wearing these
Speaker 1: big red shoes that look like legos and people think
Speaker 1: it's fashionable. I just I'm not into fashion like that.
Speaker 1: But when it comes to the whole emasculation of a
Speaker 1: person through one pot, like one photo, I think that's bullshit. Right,
Speaker 1: And I'll give you an example. Kevin Stage posted a
Speaker 1: video talking about all of the hyper masculine things that
Speaker 1: that Jonathan Major's has been in, right, and this year alone,
Speaker 1: and this year alone, He's played a fire pilot, He's
Speaker 1: played a cowboy, he's been a boxer, he's been Kang,
Speaker 1: the biggest emperor in Marvel, and he didn't something else.
Speaker 1: He was a villain and he played some I forgot
Speaker 1: with the other one he played in. But long story short,
Speaker 1: he was a boxer. Long story short, Jonathan Majors has
Speaker 1: been hyper masculine for the better part of the last
Speaker 1: five years. He's done mad photo shoot, Yes, mad photos.
Speaker 1: But here it is, there's one photo shoot, and now
Speaker 1: the narrative behind this photo shoot is the emasculation of
Speaker 1: Jonathan Majors. And it's like, are we not going to
Speaker 1: talk about the other ninety nine thousand pieces of content
Speaker 1: that is out there, but just because you will disagree
Speaker 1: with this one photo. Now it's this whole theory that
Speaker 1: they're trying to emasculate him. People once again are forgetting
Speaker 1: about the time, like this is what he chose to
Speaker 1: do in this moment, right. Plus, if we're being honest, right,
Speaker 1: I look at some of the stuff that he's wore,
Speaker 1: right or is wearing, and I go back to the seventies,
Speaker 1: some of the most masculine histories, going back some of
Speaker 1: the most masculine men in history. For example, I turn no, no,
Speaker 1: not Prince Ike Turner wore wigs with a bob eyeliner,
Speaker 1: that bank he had eyeliner, super super tight shorts, tight
Speaker 1: leather pants, heels with platform shoes, suede shirts, net netted
Speaker 1: fitted shirts with his chest out and was fucking mad bitches.
Speaker 1: And the Chris Why I say that is because fashion
Speaker 1: cannot determine your masculinity. I don't say what I'm saying, fashion, clothing, colors,
Speaker 1: all that. I can't. It can't determine it can't determine
Speaker 1: your your masculinity. For example, Russell Westbrook, Right, they got
Speaker 1: on Russell Westbrook because he wore killed. They got on
Speaker 1: him because sometimes he wears clothes that are super fitted
Speaker 1: or may have his chest out in a low V cut,
Speaker 1: and they're just like, why is Russell. I guarantee you know,
Speaker 1: body who puts in these comments and Russell Westbrook is
Speaker 1: feminine will go up to Russell Westbrook in his face
Speaker 1: and say that's him. The man is sixty three, I
Speaker 1: think two hundred and ten pounds, chiseled, right, and he's
Speaker 1: from Oakland. I believe he's from Oakland somewhere in California.
Speaker 1: And they're not gonna roll up on him. But social
Speaker 1: media makes it easy for people to just throw out
Speaker 1: opinions and hide behind keyboards. And the greater social media becomes,
Speaker 1: the harder it is for us to decipher whose opinions
Speaker 1: matter and whose opinions don't. And my biggest thing is,
Speaker 1: before you discredit anybody's opinions, how about we just take
Speaker 1: a chance to look at who's giving the opinion and
Speaker 1: where their opinion may be coming from. That's a fact
Speaker 1: because then when I even think about it, so me
Speaker 1: from my life experience and how we exist within our family.
Speaker 1: Thinking back to that photo of us in the park
Speaker 1: and seeing that, I just know it's a moment where
Speaker 1: a whole like my husband choose to celebrate me in
Speaker 1: this moment. He knows that I'm trying to get back
Speaker 1: out there and just had two kids back to back me.
Speaker 1: Now our family of one that wasn't supposed to be
Speaker 1: three in this apartment, it is now three in this apartment.
Speaker 1: There were so many things going on, so you in
Speaker 1: that moment, chose to celebrate me. So when I see
Speaker 1: the Rihanna Asap cover, my first thing isn't to think, damn,
Speaker 1: Rihanna is like pulling him behind like a little child.
Speaker 1: She has two children like and he's in the background.
Speaker 1: My thing was, oh, shoot, like yeah, we're celebrating Rihanna
Speaker 1: in this moment, because you know, she's doing big things.
Speaker 1: Now this is the first time coming back out and
Speaker 1: he's holding down the four at home because he knows
Speaker 1: the importance attacking the family close by like those are
Speaker 1: those are the narratives and the images that's that's coming
Speaker 1: to me because that's my life experience exactly. So it's
Speaker 1: literally a direct correlation between the two. And then I
Speaker 1: think some people are just in general upset about everything
Speaker 1: and they're trying to always pick something apart and that's
Speaker 1: what they're gonna do. But but that's why I also
Speaker 1: feel like you can't discredit people's opinions because it's different
Speaker 1: than yours. Right, Me and Trouble just had about an
Speaker 1: hour long discussion about this whole thing, and it gets
Speaker 1: heated because we both have our opinions based on our
Speaker 1: viewpoint in life, but also our life experience. Right, So
Speaker 1: what you don't do is you don't discredit someone's opinion
Speaker 1: by saying you're wrong. You listen and say, you know what,
Speaker 1: I can see where you're coming from because this is
Speaker 1: what you've experienced. This art made me feel a way
Speaker 1: because of what I experienced. That's when you begin to
Speaker 1: create like full natural dialogue that creates a greater level
Speaker 1: of thinking, when you can look at someone who's experienced
Speaker 1: something different from you, who looks different than you. Because
Speaker 1: Tribal is a woman, I'm a man, she's a queer woman.
Speaker 1: I'm a heterosexual man. We can have different life experiences
Speaker 1: in the same life, see the same picture and think
Speaker 1: two different things, and you know what's the best part
Speaker 1: about it. It's okay, it's okay. But the dialogue that
Speaker 1: comes around it has to remain in a place of
Speaker 1: positivity where we can learn from each other, not poke
Speaker 1: at each other and use it to gaslight or use
Speaker 1: it as a trigger for each other. And when I
Speaker 1: look at social media, that's what I see, you know,
Speaker 1: Like I see some comments even with the Jonathan Major's picture,
Speaker 1: was just like, oh the minute, and the next thing
Speaker 1: is he gonna be wearing a dress or the next
Speaker 1: thing is he gonna be wearing pink or this? And
Speaker 1: it's just like, bro, well, it was wearing pink. It's
Speaker 1: about love. It's about love. And wore a pink sweater
Speaker 1: the other day. You don't know why, because it was
Speaker 1: fly dope. I like the color pattern with the black
Speaker 1: and the pink. It didn't matter to me that it
Speaker 1: was pink. Um. I was not concerned about being emasculated
Speaker 1: by my team who got the pink sweater for me.
Speaker 1: I just thought it was dope, you know, what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And I also feel like we have to get rid
Speaker 1: of this whole idea that in order to be successful
Speaker 1: you have to give up part of who you are.
Speaker 1: That's not the case, right, And what I get tired
Speaker 1: of is people discrediting other people's success by saying they
Speaker 1: sold their soul or they're part of the quote unquote
Speaker 1: Illuminati because you didn't work as hard as they did
Speaker 1: to get there. I'll give you another example. Last year,
Speaker 1: I did a picture downstairs in the theater. Oh god, right,
Speaker 1: that's when it we fully got in done this when
Speaker 1: this is when I knew people was full of shit. Right.
Speaker 1: I did a picture downstairs and I had just become
Speaker 1: friends with Eva, right, U and Eva. If y'all don't know,
Speaker 1: even Eva one America's Next Time Model. She had one
Speaker 1: of the most famous pictures of what I don't know
Speaker 1: what it was A spider was a tarantula, and the
Speaker 1: tarantula was on her hand and she was covering her
Speaker 1: eye and the other fingers were on the other eye
Speaker 1: and the tarantula was climbing up her hand right right.
Speaker 1: So I was making a joke and making fun of
Speaker 1: Eva when we were doing the pictures because I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do shoot a picture like Eva and send
Speaker 1: it to her. So we shot the picture and the
Speaker 1: picture actually came out dope, right. It was something about
Speaker 1: the way the light was hitting from the projector on you.
Speaker 1: They were like, oh, shoot, the light just happened to
Speaker 1: hit you at this angle. And Josh was like, oh, shoot,
Speaker 1: this might actually work. Remember there was the yellow hyphen. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the yellow hyphen crossed my eye at the same time, right,
Speaker 1: So I put my hand like Eva making a funny face,
Speaker 1: and the yellow crowd my eye. So we posted it
Speaker 1: and I looked under the post and I see I
Speaker 1: knew this was gonna happen. He sold his soul, say
Speaker 1: it ain't so the value he's a party of Illuminati.
Speaker 1: Right then I was like, Oh, it's just a couple
Speaker 1: of comments, you know, people just doing whatever. Then I
Speaker 1: go to YouTube and there's a YouTube page that says
Speaker 1: the Ellis is sold. There's a YouTube video that says
Speaker 1: the Ellis is sold. There's soul part of the Illuminati.
Speaker 1: Ten reasons why. And they went through all of my
Speaker 1: pictures for the two thousand and something pictures for the
Speaker 1: last seven years. There was a picture of me too
Speaker 1: in that African outfit where I was Yes, I was
Speaker 1: just posed with my arms kind of just hanging down
Speaker 1: in between my legs and they're like, she's in the
Speaker 1: Freemason reprose. In the Freemason Report, our our t shirts
Speaker 1: for Elite pro type athletics was the diamond. The triangle
Speaker 1: was created out of diamond. The triangle was create supposed
Speaker 1: to be the athlete, the parent, and the coach. That
Speaker 1: was what we called the Triangle of Success for athletes.
Speaker 1: And in the middle it had an EPA Elite Prototype Athletics.
Speaker 1: They used that triangle and says, see, he's a part
Speaker 1: of the Illuminati. They removed the eye. But if you
Speaker 1: look at the picture and he asked his eye and
Speaker 1: the Illuminati. And then when I put the shoot that
Speaker 1: we did for Cairo's maternity, yes, yeah, and he had
Speaker 1: the eye of round these stomachs. So they said the
Speaker 1: all seeing eye the triangle. And then one of my
Speaker 1: close friends, Jason his JA coach, out to Jay Coole.
Speaker 1: He's the one who trained Cairo and Jackson. He has
Speaker 1: a triangle as well on his and we've never talked
Speaker 1: about why he has a triangle, but they said, we
Speaker 1: are now we now are putting our friends into the circle,
Speaker 1: and you can tell them him paying homage to the
Speaker 1: Ellis is because he has a triangle for Cold World training.
Speaker 1: And I bust out laughing when I first saw it.
Speaker 1: But then I was like, yo, you know how dangerous
Speaker 1: this is because when I looked at the video at
Speaker 1: the time, there was like forty thou views of the video,
Speaker 1: and then I was looking at the captions and I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm looking at the comments and people were believing it.
Speaker 1: And then people were also giving in their examples of
Speaker 1: ye I saw Codeine do this, and Devout has said this,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, wait a minute. So the forty thousand
Speaker 1: people watched it, and there were like seven hundred comments
Speaker 1: of people agreeing with the video and saying this always
Speaker 1: happens at some point. To reach that level of success,
Speaker 1: you have to sell out. And I was like, you
Speaker 1: know what, it's no longer funny to me. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: not funny. It's fucked up. And I'm gonna tell you
Speaker 1: why it's not funny. Codeine and I have worked our
Speaker 1: asses off to get here, and yes we have sacrificed,
Speaker 1: you know what, We sacrificed. We have sacrificed finances, we
Speaker 1: have sacrificed time with our family, we have sacrificed time
Speaker 1: with our friends, and we've sacrificed going out and spending
Speaker 1: money on things that could have made us feel good
Speaker 1: in the moment. And we saved to create a greater
Speaker 1: environment for not only us to succeed, but our friends
Speaker 1: around us to succeed. And now it's not being validated
Speaker 1: for the hard work, but it's being discredited as a
Speaker 1: part of devil worship. And the fact is that narrative
Speaker 1: can run, It'll run faster than anything else being detriment
Speaker 1: to our entire everything. And to be honest, I'm starting
Speaker 1: to get sick of it. And when I watched Rihanna
Speaker 1: and Asap, and no, I'm not saying that they're not
Speaker 1: a part of the Illuminati. I don't know. I don't
Speaker 1: believe in the Illuminati. Because if if the Illuminati exists
Speaker 1: and I'm in it, well, somebody owe me a check.
Speaker 1: That's a fact, because braggy yet you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So if somebody owe me something, if the Illuminati is
Speaker 1: real and I'm a part of it, though, and somebody
Speaker 1: let me know who. I got to talk to a
Speaker 1: couple more commas than I need. But I'm just getting
Speaker 1: tired of watching people on social media utilize their own
Speaker 1: life experience to discredit people who have done great things
Speaker 1: by trying to take away the hard work they've put
Speaker 1: into and the fact that people really take the time
Speaker 1: to sit here and go through people's pages and go
Speaker 1: through every post, and go through every podcast episode and
Speaker 1: go through every video to them pull this again. Like
Speaker 1: I said, you're always going to find something to support
Speaker 1: whatever your cause is. It's absolutely ridiculous. It is. It's
Speaker 1: absolutely ridiculous at this point. But also going back to
Speaker 1: Rihanna and ASAP's picture, people saying it's just the baby daddy,
Speaker 1: Asap in his own right has a career absolutely and
Speaker 1: his net worth, I mean, I don't know what it
Speaker 1: is now. I think when I looked it up last time,
Speaker 1: it estimates somewhere around twenty million. But he's no slouch.
Speaker 1: He's no slouch at all. She didn't just find some
Speaker 1: random dude that with shit not do nothing, and she
Speaker 1: just was like, Oh, I'm just trying to, you know,
Speaker 1: have his babies and just make him sit back here
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna just control him, I'm sure, and knowing
Speaker 1: the kind of person that Rihanna is just based off
Speaker 1: of what I've seen of her because I don't know
Speaker 1: her personally, so I can't speak on that. She don't
Speaker 1: seem like she's just gonna take any any old slouch neither.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like she's probably gonna look
Speaker 1: for someone who's equally as strong and absolutely I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't see someone like Rihanna in that position of power.
Speaker 1: How our Island girls do too. Yeah, Island girls are
Speaker 1: a lot, Yeah, a lot to deal with. But I
Speaker 1: just I just feel like when we're having these conversations
Speaker 1: as a community of people, right, rather than arguing with
Speaker 1: each other and placing blame on each other because it's
Speaker 1: trible and I were talking, it was like, why does
Speaker 1: it always end up being a black woman versus black man? Thing?
Speaker 1: And triples is something that I think is hilarious, but
Speaker 1: it's also true trying to push these bots. I know
Speaker 1: the boss, there's a whole bunch of boss that's just
Speaker 1: say we're purposely set up. But she has said that
Speaker 1: we often play the oppression Olympics, right, Who was more oppressed.
Speaker 1: Was it black women being oppressed by their voices or
Speaker 1: black women being black men being targeted with violence, Like
Speaker 1: who was more oppressed? And I feel like number one,
Speaker 1: we have to validate the fact that black women and
Speaker 1: black men in the world have been the most oppressed
Speaker 1: people in the world. Like like when we when we
Speaker 1: think about holocausts, there's not one holocaust, you know, the
Speaker 1: Black Holocaust that existed in the Congo where King Leopold
Speaker 1: was a holocaust. It was a black holocaust that happened
Speaker 1: in the Congo. Over fifteen million African Africans were slaughtered
Speaker 1: for rubber and I believe sugar, and it isn't talked
Speaker 1: about enough, but black people all over the globe have
Speaker 1: experienced similar atrocities and worst atrocities that have happened in
Speaker 1: America to Black Americans and also to the Jewish people
Speaker 1: that happened in Germany. So there isn't just one thing
Speaker 1: that's happened, like people have been oppressed all over the world.
Speaker 1: And I feel like we as black people have to
Speaker 1: stop arguing with each other about who has it the worst,
Speaker 1: because it seems like every time we get into one
Speaker 1: of these things. Whereas a Rihanna and worst as at Rocky.
Speaker 1: It's black men need to be celebrated out of black
Speaker 1: women need to be celebrated because black witnesses. Like we're
Speaker 1: arguing about art where there's a multimillionaire and a billionaire
Speaker 1: on a picture of a British magazine cover. Can we
Speaker 1: celebrate the fact with their child? Can we celebrate the
Speaker 1: fact that here is a black family even if you
Speaker 1: don't even agree with how their family is constructed. Okay,
Speaker 1: they're not married and they had a baby before they
Speaker 1: got married, But we have a black billionaire and a
Speaker 1: multimillionaire and who was going to be the heir to
Speaker 1: whatever they leave behind on the cover of a British
Speaker 1: your magazine, Like we should be celebrating that, but instead
Speaker 1: we're having dialogue about who's emasculated and who's had it
Speaker 1: working at Lord Jesus. And I say that because and
Speaker 1: the reason why I get so like passionate about this
Speaker 1: is because I want people to realize what you search
Speaker 1: will become your reality in this day and age. You
Speaker 1: put something in Google, you put something in your search
Speaker 1: ball for ig or Twitter, the analogs of the analogs,
Speaker 1: the the algorithm is then going to send you similar topics,
Speaker 1: similar video, similar pictures, and create a whole world around
Speaker 1: you that now you think is the world, when it's
Speaker 1: really just one small bit of what's really going on
Speaker 1: in all this. Sometimes I look at my Explore page
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what the who? Who? Who be all
Speaker 1: my ig page? Because I don't know what the hell
Speaker 1: some of that stuff is that pops up on my
Speaker 1: Explore page. So it just really you're You're right. It
Speaker 1: depends on what their agenda is, what the forces that
Speaker 1: be are trying to feed you on a day to
Speaker 1: day basis, And it's like, do you fall into that
Speaker 1: trap or do you not? We have some facts and
Speaker 1: stats about this here, let's see what we're talking about
Speaker 1: when it talks about representation, media emasculation, or the agenda
Speaker 1: of emasculation. A twenty twenty one studies show that seventy
Speaker 1: nine percent of people said more diversity is needed on screens.
Speaker 1: Positive media representation can be helpful in increasing self esteem
Speaker 1: for people of marginalized groups, especially youth. Into personal contact
Speaker 1: and exposure through media representation can assist in reducing stereotypes
Speaker 1: of underrepresented groups, which is essentially what I think we
Speaker 1: try to do absolutely. You know, I think we sought
Speaker 1: to do that initially, but it kind of become that.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, we never sought to do it, but
Speaker 1: I mean subconsciously, we are very purposeful about trying to
Speaker 1: represent underrepresented groups because I believe the representation. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: like Black Love, for example, showing more of the black
Speaker 1: family unit, whatever that looks like. Representation in educational curricula
Speaker 1: and social media can provide validation and support, especially for
Speaker 1: youth of marginalized groups. So seeing Rihanna Asap on a cover,
Speaker 1: like you said, two black people, a billionaire, multimillionaire and
Speaker 1: their son can be something that's empowering for our youth
Speaker 1: versus seeing all the other garbage that they see on
Speaker 1: social media anyway. Absolutely. For in ten, people who feel
Speaker 1: poorly represented or have a physical disabilities say that they
Speaker 1: don't see enough people with their body type. A similar
Speaker 1: percentage of gender nonconforming people share this same sentiment, and
Speaker 1: often the lives of people in entertain don't resemble their
Speaker 1: actual own real life. Absolutely sore again art art art art.
Speaker 1: Those who feel poorly represented attribute this sentiment to not
Speaker 1: seeing enough people who behave like them, which is thirty
Speaker 1: three percent coming from the same economic level, twenty nine
Speaker 1: percent speaking with the same accents or dialects, twenty two percent,
Speaker 1: having families like there's twenty one percent, and live in
Speaker 1: a home like there's twenty one percent. So this is
Speaker 1: what I say about representation and why I think representation
Speaker 1: is important. Right, Representation to speaks to the people who
Speaker 1: have no voice. Right, and this is why I think
Speaker 1: it's important for artists to understand their choices and also
Speaker 1: be able to explain why they made certain choices. Right,
Speaker 1: what if we don't know? This is just a what
Speaker 1: if we don't know? What if Jonathan Majors has an
Speaker 1: entire group of friends who are exist in the queer community,
Speaker 1: right and he said, Yo, the next cover I'm gonna do,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna represent y'all. What's wrong with that? That's very
Speaker 1: possible to you know what I'm saying. Because what and
Speaker 1: this is and I want people to just think about
Speaker 1: this is because sometimes people who feel represented by a
Speaker 1: person thinks that that person should only represent them. So
Speaker 1: right now, black men feel like Jonathan Major should only
Speaker 1: represent black man and but they only think he should
Speaker 1: only represent black heterosexual men. Right, So if he chooses
Speaker 1: to do a piece of art that doesn't represent black
Speaker 1: heterosexual life. I feel like black heterosexual men get triggered,
Speaker 1: and that's when it becomes, oh, this is the agenda.
Speaker 1: It's like, Bro, did you not watch the last five
Speaker 1: years of all the hyper masculine stuff that he's done.
Speaker 1: I can speak for black heterosexual man who feel like
Speaker 1: we're often underrepresented or underrepresented, especially in Hollywood, especially when
Speaker 1: you lead families, because we feel like we don't see
Speaker 1: pictures of black strong family men in Hollywood specifically and
Speaker 1: especially in sports right And I'm just speaking from our
Speaker 1: standpoint because I can't speak from our standpoint. For example,
Speaker 1: Kyrie Irvin was reign raised by a single black father.
Speaker 1: How can we don't have a lot of exposed as
Speaker 1: about how his father raised him? But we have so
Speaker 1: many stories about Lebron's mom and Kd's mom. And I've
Speaker 1: listened to a lot of black men say like, yo,
Speaker 1: Kyrie's dad, like raised a great man who is now
Speaker 1: one of the leaders in the NBA, who is a champion,
Speaker 1: who was a Rookie of the Year, Like we don't
Speaker 1: ever hear his story told the same with a drama
Speaker 1: yet even know that I didn't heis. I've met his
Speaker 1: dad like once or twice, but I had no idea
Speaker 1: that he was a single dad raising him. And and
Speaker 1: the only reason why I'm giving this example is because
Speaker 1: when you feel underrepresented, when you see something that you
Speaker 1: think someone is supposed to be representing you and they
Speaker 1: choose to not represent you in the way you want
Speaker 1: them to resent you, you you feel triggered and you attack them.
Speaker 1: That's not the way you go about doing things. Because
Speaker 1: we also have to remember the moment, right, Jonathan Majors
Speaker 1: in that moment, chose to represent something that mattered to
Speaker 1: him in that moment. We don't know what it is
Speaker 1: because it's art, and hopefully he'll be able to tell
Speaker 1: one day what why he made those choices. He doesn't
Speaker 1: have to. It's art, it's subjective. Anybody can think about
Speaker 1: Anyone even read that at the article because typically the
Speaker 1: article has something to kind of do with well the cover.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, absolutely, and I agree with
Speaker 1: you on that. If you read the article you might
Speaker 1: get a better understanding of it. He was trying to
Speaker 1: represent his friends who maybe of queer community, and that's
Speaker 1: what the that's the image, because that may be it
Speaker 1: could just be that he liked the costuming. It could
Speaker 1: be that it could have been that. But just to say, like,
Speaker 1: people don't even investigate any further, the clickbait, the instant like,
Speaker 1: oh shoot, what's happening here? But also people have discussions
Speaker 1: about covers without reading the article all the time, all
Speaker 1: the time, So we can't say that you have to
Speaker 1: read the article. If the cover made you feel a way,
Speaker 1: that's what the cover did. Like all covers are and
Speaker 1: are supposed to make you feel an emotion. So that's
Speaker 1: why I was like, that's why I feel like when
Speaker 1: you when I said in my sound bite, how you
Speaker 1: feel about what you saw says more about you than
Speaker 1: it does about the people in the photo is because
Speaker 1: then you have to start to take an inventory of
Speaker 1: why did this cover make me feel this way? Because
Speaker 1: essentially Rihanna in her season right where she is right now,
Speaker 1: could have done a cover alone. Yes, she didn't have
Speaker 1: to include or you know, a SAP and the baby
Speaker 1: didn't have to be included in it. So it's like,
Speaker 1: what would have made people feel better in that moment
Speaker 1: if it was Rihanna with ASAP next to her and
Speaker 1: the baby on their lap. That's then now pushing the
Speaker 1: narrative of the family. Right, it may have made the
Speaker 1: cover more about the entire unit together, versus if the
Speaker 1: cover that was already presented. So what what I've heard
Speaker 1: listening to people and reading a bunch of commons, but
Speaker 1: also using the Waymaker cover or even Lebron and Savannah's
Speaker 1: Vanity Fair cover. Right, right, Lebron was standing behind Savannah, Yes, right,
Speaker 1: but he was still standing in the position of protection. Right,
Speaker 1: Lebron wasn't smaller than Savannah. Grant, it's hard to make night,
Speaker 1: but still he wasn't so far in the background that
Speaker 1: he was smaller than Savannah, and Savannah was in the foreground.
Speaker 1: Lebron was directly behind Savannah in that moment. And say,
Speaker 1: for example, they had the child in that moment she
Speaker 1: bows back, he could have been holding the child staring
Speaker 1: directly into the camera, similar to the picture of Beyonce
Speaker 1: in the front. And then jay Z was behind Beyonce
Speaker 1: like I got my eye on you, I always got
Speaker 1: her back. She was still the centerpiece of the picture.
Speaker 1: So I got so many different examples of what they
Speaker 1: could have done. But here's my thing. That photo was
Speaker 1: about that moment. That moment was about coming back off
Speaker 1: retirement from five years of performance. That moment was about
Speaker 1: being a mom and having a support system in the
Speaker 1: man who was Because there's another thing. There's also so
Speaker 1: much that can be empowering about that, right. Imagine a
Speaker 1: black man who has a child with a billionaire who
Speaker 1: doesn't feel any type of way to be like, go, baby, shine,
Speaker 1: I got you. Go shine Like to me when I
Speaker 1: saw it, that's that's what empowering. And then they're like, well,
Speaker 1: he's being emasculated. He'd probably be like, who's emasculating me?
Speaker 1: This was my fucking idea, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: people can't emasculate you when you have a choice on
Speaker 1: what gets presented. And that's another thing that I think
Speaker 1: people need to realize. These covers don't just take pictures,
Speaker 1: send you home, and then post a picture. Artists have
Speaker 1: the right to decide what's going to be the final
Speaker 1: edit of the picture posted. That is a fact. It
Speaker 1: is part of the contract. Artists get to decide that.
Speaker 1: So the whole idea that he was emasculated to me
Speaker 1: is just asinine because he could have been like, yo,
Speaker 1: I don't like that picture, take me out, or I
Speaker 1: don't have to be a part of it if you
Speaker 1: want to do something with her, or let's choose a
Speaker 1: different picture. He was a part of the decision making process,
Speaker 1: which to me shows even more empowerment because he's not
Speaker 1: afraid to say, baby go in the front. I got
Speaker 1: you with the baby in the back. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Yep. Deval and I had done a photo
Speaker 1: cover for another magazine a while back and they attempted
Speaker 1: to put the cover out before we co signed on it. Yes,
Speaker 1: and we pull that shit back and was like, absolutely
Speaker 1: not because the val felt like I was standing there
Speaker 1: looking like a mannequin and this was not It didn't
Speaker 1: reflect our love story. It didn't reflect what it was
Speaker 1: supposed to reflect in that moment. So we were like,
Speaker 1: you gotta pull that as a cover. That cannot be it.
Speaker 1: Let's reassess that. Yes, you know. So these things did
Speaker 1: not go to print without several different people checking several
Speaker 1: different boxes. And if I, if I can imagine anything,
Speaker 1: Rihanna is like as a businesswoman in that moment, and
Speaker 1: it speaks to her being the billionaire that she is.
Speaker 1: She's not gonna let them put anything out that she
Speaker 1: does not agree on, not at all, and have herself
Speaker 1: all up in that mix. She'd probably tell them to
Speaker 1: go to hell firstly before they print something without her permit.
Speaker 1: All right, y'all, we're gonna take a quick break and
Speaker 1: we're gonna go into listener letters after we pay some bills,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna come back and see what y'all have
Speaker 1: to say this week. All right, jumping into listener letters,
Speaker 1: Let's see what y'all got for us this week. We
Speaker 1: got the first one. I'll just dive right in. Good afternoon, y'all.
Speaker 1: How you know it's afternoon over here. First of all,
Speaker 1: I just kidding, get after do y'all. Hope all as well.
Speaker 1: I love what you too represent. Keep doing your thing.
Speaker 1: Thank you. This may be lengthy. I'm sorry in advance,
Speaker 1: but a nigga is in down bad. Okay. I'm coming
Speaker 1: to y'all because I don't know y'all personally. In fear
Speaker 1: of being judged or joked on won't affect me. I've
Speaker 1: been with my wife for six years, married for three.
Speaker 1: I love porn like all porn, and that's capital like.
Speaker 1: If I'm by myself, I can just sit and watch
Speaker 1: this shit like it's TV without getting an erection. Smh.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing. None of what I watched is a
Speaker 1: reflection of what I want in my personal sex life. Also,
Speaker 1: my wife knew I watched it, but didn't know how
Speaker 1: deep it was until now. I just recently had surgery.
Speaker 1: The first night post surgery, I'm in bed, grimacing and
Speaker 1: my wife is asking me certain questions to help me
Speaker 1: get through it. For some reason, she decides to use
Speaker 1: my phone to look up certain things about pain I'm
Speaker 1: experiencing and comes across my surch history, which at the
Speaker 1: time had gay porn in it. I didn't even see
Speaker 1: her using my phone smh. I don't hide or delete
Speaker 1: nothing because I don't have anything to hide, well outside
Speaker 1: of my Internet history that normally gets deleted asap. She
Speaker 1: then softly confronts me. I told her I think it's
Speaker 1: an addiction and that I like and that it's been
Speaker 1: like this way before she came into my life. I
Speaker 1: continuously apologized, but she wanted to end our marriage. Y'all
Speaker 1: may not believe me, but I know my wife doesn't
Speaker 1: believe me. But I've never had any sexual encounters or
Speaker 1: feelings for a man. No curiosity, no nothing. Maybe my
Speaker 1: porn history negates that in most people's eyes. Maybe most
Speaker 1: people will say I'm in denial, but it has never
Speaker 1: left Safari and me personally. I'm not partaking in that.
Speaker 1: My wife is a voluptuous sexy. She's voluptuously sexy, and
Speaker 1: our sex is good when we have it, not as
Speaker 1: freaky as it used to be, but it's good. We
Speaker 1: have a one year old. I never cheated and do
Speaker 1: not intend to. It's been a month and a half
Speaker 1: and no intimacy has taken place since then. All other
Speaker 1: husband and wifely duties are in full effect, though I
Speaker 1: may have left some things out my bad, just trying
Speaker 1: to paint the picture. But my question is what do
Speaker 1: I do now? How do I get her to trust
Speaker 1: me again, love me again, make love and fuck me again?
Speaker 1: I need some help, y'all. Definitely grabbing the book to
Speaker 1: stay up. Thanks for grabbing the book, bro. This is
Speaker 1: what I will say. His wife is probably triggered because
Speaker 1: every movie we see where a wife uncovers that her
Speaker 1: husband is gay typically starts with finding his poorn history,
Speaker 1: and he watches gay porn, so in her mind, she's
Speaker 1: probably thinking he's gay and don't want to tell me,
Speaker 1: or he's gay and trying to hide it, and she
Speaker 1: may be feeling like if he isn't has these urges,
Speaker 1: or has he been truthful with her what he's partaken
Speaker 1: in right, or just maybe also too so she's they
Speaker 1: have a one year old, so I already know what
Speaker 1: that's like postpartum life and you're thinking, oh, shoot, like
Speaker 1: I just had this baby. My husband may not view
Speaker 1: my body the same way, or he may not you know,
Speaker 1: he may not be feeling me now because I just
Speaker 1: had this baby and we're having this transitionary period and
Speaker 1: my body is going through all these things. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, has that pushed him into this arena?
Speaker 1: There can be a lot of things, but not knowing,
Speaker 1: like watching someone's poorn history, in my opinion, tells you
Speaker 1: what they're into and what they like. You see someone
Speaker 1: liking to see two people engage in sexual activity and
Speaker 1: you just watch it. Why do you watch it? If
Speaker 1: you don't like it? I just don't understand, or it
Speaker 1: could be curiosity. It could just be like, you know, well,
Speaker 1: I've never seen this before or I've never understood it.
Speaker 1: Force let me see what it looks like, tell you
Speaker 1: something from a man's perspective, right when I'm watching from
Speaker 1: a heterosexual man, heterosexual man's perspecition, but even a man's perspective,
Speaker 1: because I've talked to my friends who are gay. The
Speaker 1: type of point they watch, Okay, the type of point
Speaker 1: you watch is typically indicative of the things you like, right, Like,
Speaker 1: I can't and this is this is no disrespect to
Speaker 1: um white poorn stars. I'm not racist, but I just
Speaker 1: don't get aroused by white point, right, So I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't just I don't watch white porn, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. That's not my preference. So for me,
Speaker 1: I don't understand how you could just watch porn just
Speaker 1: to watch it. It's not like the storylines be great,
Speaker 1: like like like what are you what are you looking for?
Speaker 1: The cinematography is not what you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't understand. But also I'm not going
Speaker 1: to judge him because there may be people who watch
Speaker 1: porn just to watch. I don't know. He said he
Speaker 1: watches it and doesn't get interaction. He just watches it
Speaker 1: like it's regular TV. Right. But also people say that
Speaker 1: when they try to hide things. You know what I'm saying, Like, like,
Speaker 1: we can't sit here and make it seem like, oh,
Speaker 1: it's just okay to just watch porn. No, I don't
Speaker 1: know anybody in my life who just will go in
Speaker 1: the room and watch porn for any other reason other
Speaker 1: than to just get in direction and jack off all
Speaker 1: my boys, did I talk to when they watch press?
Speaker 1: What they say? They watch some po when are spoking
Speaker 1: to say they use it to get stimulate, to stimulate
Speaker 1: the arousal process. Right, So if porn is utilized to
Speaker 1: stimulate the arousal process, and there's gay porn in your history,
Speaker 1: of course your wife is going to be suspicious about
Speaker 1: what your your true wants and desires are. Like, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't blame her, you know what I'm saying. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't blame anybody who finds out that way. Like,
Speaker 1: that's very difficult, And I'm gonna be honest with you, bro,
Speaker 1: I don't know how to get you to get your
Speaker 1: wife to understand where you're coming from because I don't know,
Speaker 1: Like I don't understand, Like yeah, and I'm not I'm
Speaker 1: not judging you because there's so many different lifestyles and
Speaker 1: things that I don't understand, but I wish I could
Speaker 1: help you. What I will say is that you probably
Speaker 1: do need to have a lot of conversations. Um, it's
Speaker 1: going to be hard for her to believe, like and this,
Speaker 1: and he even said it. She's probably not going to
Speaker 1: believe what I have to say. But UM, how would
Speaker 1: you feel, just be honest, how would you feel if
Speaker 1: you look through my phone and then you just found
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of gay porn and then I told you,
Speaker 1: but but a babe, I've never done it. I just
Speaker 1: watch it. Would you believe I was telling the truth?
Speaker 1: Or would you be like, but I've known for twenty
Speaker 1: years the same person right now everything you know, the
Speaker 1: same person you know right now. I would think you
Speaker 1: were researching it for some reason, Like I would be like,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe something is going on where he's trying to
Speaker 1: get an understanding for something Like I wouldn't think that
Speaker 1: Devot is interested in men just knowing you and knowing
Speaker 1: who you are. I think they'd have to be some
Speaker 1: sort of reasons because you know me, because I know you.
Speaker 1: Nothing is too has there anything that has happened in
Speaker 1: the past and their relationship that would make her think like, aha,
Speaker 1: so that happened, that happened, that happened. I was kind
Speaker 1: of worried about this friend that he had, And then
Speaker 1: now I see your gay porn history and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: now I'm putting the dots together. It could be that too.
Speaker 1: This is also one thing I think you have to
Speaker 1: think about, right, women in general in general have been
Speaker 1: surprised by their men having sexual exploits with other men
Speaker 1: because it's not it's not appealing, it's not approved, Like
Speaker 1: society doesn't approve homosexuality all the time, right, So a
Speaker 1: lot of men are living double lives, and they've talked about,
Speaker 1: like the whole DL thing was a thing in the
Speaker 1: black community for a long time. So I think that
Speaker 1: it's a trigger for black women when they see something
Speaker 1: that may not be in alignment with the person at
Speaker 1: they're dating. The trigger is automatically, is this person hiding
Speaker 1: a part of himself that he doesn't feel comfortable being
Speaker 1: because society made it uncomfortable? And am I a victim
Speaker 1: of being tricked because this person can't live that life?
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, and it is a
Speaker 1: real thing, you know what I'm saying, And to be honest,
Speaker 1: this goes back to judging people for being different and
Speaker 1: then those people feeling shamed for having different thoughts. You
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, I wish we could get
Speaker 1: to a time where we allow people to be different
Speaker 1: and not try to convert everybody to be one thing, right,
Speaker 1: because when you do that and people feel different, they
Speaker 1: feel like they're going to be shamed. They hide it,
Speaker 1: and the last thing people want to do is be
Speaker 1: out it. You know. Um, It's no secret that I
Speaker 1: have friends who live different lifestyles and I asked them
Speaker 1: all the time, like, yo, you never felt comfortable just
Speaker 1: being yourself, Like why did you feel like you have
Speaker 1: to do? And they were just like I asked myself,
Speaker 1: was it safety? Did you feel like you were going
Speaker 1: to get beat up? And some of them is big dudes,
Speaker 1: like it's like, ain't nobody whipping my ass? Like I
Speaker 1: had one friend and let me tell you something, bro,
Speaker 1: it will take a lot of hetero sexual men to
Speaker 1: fuck me up. Like he's he's big, brawlic do but
Speaker 1: he was like it wasn't even that type of fear.
Speaker 1: It was just fear of being accepted. You know, just
Speaker 1: fear of just being able to walk down the street
Speaker 1: and not have a scarlet letter because you're just not
Speaker 1: like everybody else. And I think this woman when we
Speaker 1: didn't hear her perspective, but maybe in fear of that,
Speaker 1: Like was this man living a different life his whole time,
Speaker 1: trying to be something he's really not. So, brother, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna pray for the both of you. Yeah, let's keep
Speaker 1: having those conversations. Keep having those conversations. Try to try it.
Speaker 1: If you love your wife, give for a great and
Speaker 1: give her time because what she found out it is
Speaker 1: not easy to deal with, and especially at the time
Speaker 1: she's finding it out too. Like he said, they have
Speaker 1: a one year old. That's a good point. There's a
Speaker 1: lot of it's a good point. It will existing postpartum,
Speaker 1: you know, issues that could potentially be going on, you know,
Speaker 1: her just trying to feel like herself again too, and
Speaker 1: her feeling maybe not sexy, you're not attractive, Like those
Speaker 1: are things that we go through when you have a
Speaker 1: one year old, you know. So, um, just keep the
Speaker 1: conversations open and if you get a chance, write and
Speaker 1: explain to us, like why you just watch porn? I
Speaker 1: really want to know, like, right, not as a joke
Speaker 1: because he said he's not afraid of being a joke,
Speaker 1: but I really want to understand, like how you can
Speaker 1: just turn on porn right not be aroused, because oh
Speaker 1: maybe it's because I'm an artist and to me, cinematics
Speaker 1: is like so important to me that I was like,
Speaker 1: I just can't watch porn just to watch it because
Speaker 1: the cinema photography is terrible, the storylines be terrible, and
Speaker 1: if it's not the type of women that I'm interested in,
Speaker 1: I can't watch it. You know what I'm saying. Porn
Speaker 1: also serves a purpose for you, right, Yeah, like it
Speaker 1: does for most people. For him, it may just be entertainer.
Speaker 1: It's like putting on Netflix. That's I just want to
Speaker 1: know why, because also I just don't watch porn, Like
Speaker 1: I'm just not, like I don't wake up and be
Speaker 1: liked in this Monday. What I'm gonna do? Man, Let
Speaker 1: me just go check and see what's happening, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like that's just not part of my
Speaker 1: thought process, but that may be a whole society of
Speaker 1: people and I'm not judging, but I just kind of
Speaker 1: want to know, like how you got to that point
Speaker 1: for sure, but thank you for writing in no doubt
Speaker 1: and thank you for getting the book. Appreciate you, yes,
Speaker 1: sir number two. Hello Cadina de Val. First off, I
Speaker 1: love you too and have been a fan of the
Speaker 1: show for the past year. Thank you so much. I
Speaker 1: can't thank you enough for all the hard work you
Speaker 1: both do to bring quality and relevant topics to the
Speaker 1: podcast each week. We appreciate you that episode take a
Speaker 1: break before it's too late. Hit home for me. I'm
Speaker 1: a twenty eight year old black woman who currently is
Speaker 1: finishing up my eed S degree for Professional Counseling, working
Speaker 1: full time as a school counselor track coach, graduate assistant,
Speaker 1: Honor Society president, studying for my comps, and do other
Speaker 1: side hustle like pet sit house. Is she making money?
Speaker 1: Brave here, et cetera. To make extra money, I've got
Speaker 1: to be a Jamaican girl. You got mad jobs. I
Speaker 1: love it. I actually got sick the same day I
Speaker 1: listened to this show and have spent the last five
Speaker 1: days trying to recover. My question to you both is
Speaker 1: how do I find the drive to keep going to
Speaker 1: do all of these tasks? Ps. It's only for a
Speaker 1: short period of time. I graduating May and a lot
Speaker 1: of tasks will be off my plate come then. Any
Speaker 1: advice would help because a sister is Ti Tide Tide Tie.
Speaker 1: Thank you all for YouTube and what you do well.
Speaker 1: That was the answer to the questions. This the light
Speaker 1: is at the end of the tunnel. Maybe is about
Speaker 1: to be here before you know what you've been juggling
Speaker 1: all this time, and that I mean, look at that
Speaker 1: professional counselor degree counselor track coach. This that the third
Speaker 1: so many things listen. Sometimes it's the hustle period, yes,
Speaker 1: and this seems like exactly what you're in but it's
Speaker 1: all for a good cause. I mean, once all these
Speaker 1: things are alleviated off of your plate, then you can
Speaker 1: really kind of reap the benefits and enjoy the hard work.
Speaker 1: So things are seasonal when it comes to, you know,
Speaker 1: trying to put in the work, putting your head down,
Speaker 1: just digging, digging, digging, and then you finally get to
Speaker 1: the end of that time and you're like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: that's what it was all for. And that team no sleep.
Speaker 1: I told y'all, I'm not subscribing to that no more.
Speaker 1: When you can't get y'all sleep, Get your sleep. Case
Speaker 1: team gets sleep. I am team. Get your sleep. It's
Speaker 1: better for everybody. It's better for you. Your body inflammation.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm starting to get skinny out, y'all because
Speaker 1: I've been drinking my water, working out, and sleeping. Okay,
Speaker 1: so certain things are gonna learn. You're gonna have to learn.
Speaker 1: Have to wait for sure. I got nothing, You got nothing.
Speaker 1: Ll never shuts off. No, no, I'll never shut off, y'all.
Speaker 1: So he's gonna tell you to keep juggling, even if
Speaker 1: you don't need to juggle. No, I'm not gonna say that.
Speaker 1: What I'm saying is I got nothing because she actually
Speaker 1: trying to play me, and I was about to compliment
Speaker 1: her own. I'm not trying to play here. I'm just saying,
Speaker 1: my baby be working hard, y'all, and I'm the one
Speaker 1: that has to tell him chill out, chill out, all right,
Speaker 1: I just want to finish my thought. Let me Rihanna,
Speaker 1: you would take you away. They go get make a
Speaker 1: billion dollars drink. Gonna getting no argument from me. He's
Speaker 1: gonna be holding all. You make a billion dollars tomorrow.
Speaker 1: You ain't gonna hear a thing from me. One thing
Speaker 1: I do not care. This thing is like I got
Speaker 1: to be the only one making money. My wife made
Speaker 1: a billion dollars. Good shit, shit because some of the
Speaker 1: stuff that I be want to do, he got to stop.
Speaker 1: But I was gonna say I'm not gonna say nothing
Speaker 1: because I felt like your answer was great. I just
Speaker 1: felt you when you said, May is right around the corner. Literally,
Speaker 1: the light is there. You see the light keep going
Speaker 1: to us. Then yeah, that's it our girl. If you
Speaker 1: want to be featured as a listener, no, I lied,
Speaker 1: not a listener. If you want to be featured with
Speaker 1: one of the listener letters that you turn into us,
Speaker 1: email us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com. Fact,
Speaker 1: that's d E A d as A d V I
Speaker 1: C E at gmail dot com. And I love that
Speaker 1: you know, men and women, all walks of life, everyone
Speaker 1: writes it about something. I love that y'all feel comfortable
Speaker 1: that this is a safe space that you can write
Speaker 1: into us, like, let's keep that going. I enjoy that
Speaker 1: joy and I feel honored, So thank y'all. All Right,
Speaker 1: moment of truth. We're talking email asculation of the black male.
Speaker 1: We're talking covers of magazines. We're talking positions of men
Speaker 1: and women, which your final words for the people today,
Speaker 1: moment of truth. Here's my moment of truth. Right when
Speaker 1: we look at Hollywood and we look at for example,
Speaker 1: black black men and have Warren dresses and all this
Speaker 1: other stuff. First thing is, black men are not the
Speaker 1: only one in more dresses. Menstrel shows existed long before
Speaker 1: black people were even allowed to be a part of
Speaker 1: the theater. And menstrual shows were white men who wore dresses,
Speaker 1: who made fun of white women and dressed up as women.
Speaker 1: So that's my first thing, Like, this is not menstrual
Speaker 1: shows and black men dressing up in dresses is not
Speaker 1: a new thing. So we can dispel that. Right many
Speaker 1: black men that dress up there have been white men. No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: not only that as many black men. Yes, absolutely, Like
Speaker 1: one of our most revered artists of all time, Robin Williams,
Speaker 1: was Missus Doubtfire, which is one of people's favorite movies,
Speaker 1: and he dressed up for a purpose, and not one
Speaker 1: person said Robin Williams is less of a man because
Speaker 1: he dressed up as Missus Doutfire. I wonder because of
Speaker 1: the role he had though, because he was trying to
Speaker 1: see his kids, and then people were like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: black people still got on Martin for dressing up his
Speaker 1: big mama. And he was a black man dressing up
Speaker 1: to save the day, and he dressed up his big mama.
Speaker 1: So I don't I don't think it's that. I think
Speaker 1: it's just that sometimes the imagery, the imagery, and people's
Speaker 1: own interpretations of what will not own interpretations. People's own
Speaker 1: experiences in life are trigger them when they see other things,
Speaker 1: and they tend to project what their triggers are onto
Speaker 1: other people. And I want to say that about Rihanna
Speaker 1: and Asap and also Jonathan Majors, Like, let's not forget
Speaker 1: about the moment. The picture is only a moment. Let's
Speaker 1: stop taking a moment and making it be the epicenter
Speaker 1: or the epitome of what they are supposed to represent.
Speaker 1: You know, Let's stop putting the representation of black family
Speaker 1: solely on Rihanna, Asap and their child. Let's not put
Speaker 1: the representation of what black manhood is supposed to be
Speaker 1: on Jonathan Major's in that moment. Right. If we're going
Speaker 1: to look at Jonathan Major's, let's look at all his
Speaker 1: work in totality. This is one picture where he has
Speaker 1: years of hyper masculine work. Right, Let's look at Rhan
Speaker 1: and Asap. Let's not just look at the picture, Let's
Speaker 1: look at the years of everything that they've done. Right,
Speaker 1: So that would be my moment of truth is to
Speaker 1: understand that the picture says a thousand words, but it
Speaker 1: only says a thousand words about the moment. Stole your line,
Speaker 1: stole my line, Get out of my head, Get out
Speaker 1: of my head, Out of my head. But no, my
Speaker 1: moment of truth was going to be that a picture
Speaker 1: is worth a thousand words. Your words are not full
Speaker 1: thousand words. I like it, Your words maybe twenty thirty.
Speaker 1: How much do they allow you to put on Twitter?
Speaker 1: How many characters two hundred and forty out of a
Speaker 1: thousand works? There's so many different takeaways and perspectives. Art
Speaker 1: is subjective for a reason. It's supposed to evoke conversation.
Speaker 1: It's supposed to make you feel something, and if it
Speaker 1: doesn't make you feel something, it probably was not successful
Speaker 1: as an art piece. Take it for what it is, y'all.
Speaker 1: It's exhausting. And lastly, you have a choice not to
Speaker 1: support it if you don't like it, keep it moving,
Speaker 1: scroll past, scroll pass. Not everything requires a dissertation, y'all. Absolutely, Jesus,
Speaker 1: Absolutely Jesus. And I'm sure Rihanna asap Jonathan Majes they're
Speaker 1: gonna be just fine facts living their life, solivea life.
Speaker 1: I would be fine. You say it, can't say that
Speaker 1: they chasing their paper, chase yours and mind got damn
Speaker 1: business sometimes. But speaking of which, you said you was
Speaker 1: gonna try to be a billionaire. When you're gonna start that,
Speaker 1: because baby, I'm tired, I'm putting the wheels in motion,
Speaker 1: all right, y'all. Be sure to find us on Patreon.
Speaker 1: I want to know how many people have subscribed to
Speaker 1: that yet, because you know why. We have exclusive Deadass
Speaker 1: podcast video content, live shows coming up this season. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: mar tour all that good stuff. So be sure to
Speaker 1: be on Patreon and find us on social media. You
Speaker 1: can find our Instagram page dead Ass the podcast. You
Speaker 1: can find Mekdeen I am on Instagram and TikTok and
Speaker 1: I am devout. And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review, and subscribe dead Ass, y'all.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
Speaker 1: is produced by the Norapinia and Triple. Follow the podcast
Speaker 1: on social media at dead Ass, to Podcasts and Never
Speaker 1: miss a Thing.