1 00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 1: What you see when you see a picture says more 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:09,840 Speaker 1: about you than the people in the picture. Oh, that's 3 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 1: a good one. And for art to be subjective, people 4 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,320 Speaker 1: really be getting in their feelings when somebody else has 5 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:22,799 Speaker 1: an opinion about something. To stop that, dead ass. Hey, 6 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:27,080 Speaker 1: I'm cadem and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellises. You 7 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,639 Speaker 1: may know us from posting funny videos with our boys 8 00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,960 Speaker 1: and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, 9 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:37,559 Speaker 1: I make you need therapy most days. Wow. Oh, and 10 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,919 Speaker 1: one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir, 11 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,520 Speaker 1: we are. We created this podcast to open dialogue about 12 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:47,240 Speaker 1: some of life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't 13 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,080 Speaker 1: want to talk about through the lens of a millennial 14 00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:51,400 Speaker 1: married couple. Dead ass is a term that we say 15 00:00:51,440 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: every day. So when we say dead ass, we're actually 16 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:58,200 Speaker 1: saying facts one hundred the truth, the whole truth, and 17 00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:01,960 Speaker 1: nothing but the truth. We bother to a whole new level. 18 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:09,479 Speaker 1: Dead ass starts right now. I'm gonna take you guys 19 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,400 Speaker 1: back to I think it was two thousand and I 20 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,920 Speaker 1: know it was two thousand and eighteen. Yes, Kadeen and 21 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: I were in Ceview Park. Um, this was summer of 22 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: two eighteen. We had started to kind of grow a 23 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:25,280 Speaker 1: little bit in social media. Um I had about Big 24 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,920 Speaker 1: Caves was born. I had about two hundred and something 25 00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:30,880 Speaker 1: thousand followers. I think you had about fifty some thousand 26 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 1: followers at the time. And we were walking through Cevil Park. 27 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: Your brother was coming to take pictures and I was like, yo, baby, like, 28 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,960 Speaker 1: you know, you look great, Like it's the summertime you 29 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:40,680 Speaker 1: got you got your body back, and you was like, 30 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 1: I'm feeling good. So we took a picture and in 31 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: the picture, Kadeen was in the foreground and in the 32 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:53,960 Speaker 1: background it's me holding Cairo's hand. I had cats in 33 00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: my arms and I had Jackson in my other hand, 34 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: and you were in the front with your hand on 35 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:02,200 Speaker 1: your hip and an empowering pose. And I posted a 36 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,400 Speaker 1: picture and the caption on the picture was about me 37 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,400 Speaker 1: being proud of you and what you've been able to 38 00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: accomplish having these three kids and getting back in front 39 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,960 Speaker 1: of camera and doing well and blah blah blah blah blah. 40 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 1: And there were a couple of comments that turned into 41 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:18,639 Speaker 1: a lot of comments when a couple of people felt like, 42 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 1: I don't know why the black Man has to be 43 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: in the back of the picture holding the baby, like 44 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,040 Speaker 1: why he can't be in the front, And of course 45 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:29,120 Speaker 1: people started to interject their thoughts and ideas, and it 46 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: became a thing at the bottom of the picture, and 47 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,280 Speaker 1: it no longer became about the empowerment of you, but 48 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: about why de Voo had to be in the back 49 00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 1: holding the kids. And I remember in that moment realizing like, wow, 50 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:45,280 Speaker 1: I didn't think that that picture was going to evoke 51 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:49,120 Speaker 1: that type of reaction from people. But I learned my lesson, 52 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:52,960 Speaker 1: and they probably bypassed the caption yes, where you were 53 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: trying to empower me. But again, it's people's idea of 54 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 1: looking at a picture and what that means. Yes, interesting, 55 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:05,359 Speaker 1: sounds familiar. Something's happening recently. Something happened recently, I'll talk 56 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: about it for sure. So this karaoke is dedicated to 57 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:13,560 Speaker 1: some of the comments that I saw when we were 58 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: looking at the photo of Rihanna and Asap Rocky and 59 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:21,560 Speaker 1: their son right after the Super Bowl came out, and 60 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: one of the comments that came out was says, who cares, 61 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,920 Speaker 1: that's just her baby daddy, that's not even her husband. 62 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: So this song is dedicated to that comment, that's just 63 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: my baby daddy, that's just my baby daddy. Oh, that 64 00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: just my baby daddy, My baby daddy. First and foremost, 65 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,080 Speaker 1: I want to say this, everybody doesn't believe in marriage. 66 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,120 Speaker 1: So just because two people aren't married, just giving them 67 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,000 Speaker 1: the title of that's just the baby daddy, is your 68 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: idea of what that is? That's trifling? This out right, 69 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: and that's it's fucked up, to be honest, because I 70 00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 1: know some good partnerships where people are not married who 71 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,000 Speaker 1: are doing way better than people who are actually married. 72 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: Amazing cope and living in a very toxic household as 73 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 1: marriage people. So marriage is not the aspiration for many 74 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,840 Speaker 1: so and it's not the aspiration for everyone. So sometimes 75 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: people choose that their lifestyle is going to be this 76 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,440 Speaker 1: one Um. That was that comment, because to me, that 77 00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: was the funniest comment was that who cares where he is? 78 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: That's just her baby daddy. It's not like that's her husband. 79 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:22,160 Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, that's really your thought process 80 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: about the whole thing. That's kind of messed up. But 81 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 1: like I said in the beginning, what you feel about 82 00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 1: a picture says a lot more about you than it 83 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,480 Speaker 1: does about the people in the picture. So we're gonna 84 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 1: take a quick break. Okay, we're gonna get back, get back. 85 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:36,720 Speaker 1: I want to ask you a couple of questions because 86 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 1: you know, you think about Hollywood and what's being masculation. Also, 87 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: Jonathan Major's pictures a cover. So yeah, let's unpack some 88 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: of That'll be interested to know what you think. Click around, y'all. 89 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 1: So we're back all right now. So we're talking the 90 00:04:57,120 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: emasculation of the black man. Yeah, particularly in Hollywood. What 91 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,159 Speaker 1: that looks like? So many different opinions floating around out there. 92 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:08,720 Speaker 1: You know, the social media world gets very you know, convoluted, 93 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 1: very quickly the minute stuff like this comes out. But 94 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:16,280 Speaker 1: going back to your story time and thinking about that moment, 95 00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:19,720 Speaker 1: you know, I know that you, as my husband who's 96 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:22,839 Speaker 1: very secure in your manhood, in your masculinity, and who 97 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,640 Speaker 1: you are as the leader, protector, provider of our household. 98 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 1: I think in that security that you have, in that 99 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: confidence that you have, you're always okay putting me in 100 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:36,839 Speaker 1: the forefront, yes, and not feeling a way about that 101 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 1: because you feel like, Okay, my wife, within her own right, 102 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:41,880 Speaker 1: can do her own things. But that used to showcase 103 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,840 Speaker 1: her or highlight her or celebrate her in this moment. Yes, 104 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 1: And I'm very much a father, very much an active father, Yes, 105 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,040 Speaker 1: very much an active husband. So if I have all 106 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 1: my boys that I'm juggling and we're all standing behind 107 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,880 Speaker 1: my wife, it's also a protection thing that we have, right. 108 00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 1: You think about the protect the queen that we've enacted 109 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 1: with the boys, and I don't go anywhere even if 110 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 1: the val is not around, I don't go anywhere without 111 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:07,280 Speaker 1: them boy is being around. What They're going to support 112 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 1: me and they're gonna protect me. And that's the imagery 113 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,760 Speaker 1: that we choose to put forward. Yes, um. That shows 114 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: a reflection in our family that moment, in that moment, right. 115 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:20,400 Speaker 1: But there's also two the waymaker cover that we did recently, yes, 116 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,560 Speaker 1: right um. And you can explain the position of the 117 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,719 Speaker 1: family and that because people could have said the same 118 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:30,040 Speaker 1: thing that they're saying about the Rihanna picture, not necessarily similarly, 119 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:34,279 Speaker 1: we made very clear choices with that, because art is 120 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:37,000 Speaker 1: about choices, of course, and how we want the picture 121 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,039 Speaker 1: to be received. Well, what I'm thinking of, though, the 122 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:42,880 Speaker 1: reason I say like Rihanna's picture is because in that image, right, 123 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,719 Speaker 1: she's in the forefront. But it's not the same, So 124 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: go ahead and unpack that picture for us then maybe 125 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,359 Speaker 1: like why the positioning was important for you in that shot. 126 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 1: So in that moment, and this is what I think 127 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:58,000 Speaker 1: people forget about art. Right, art is about moments. Right 128 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:02,240 Speaker 1: art doesn't encompass your whole family, your whole life all 129 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 1: the time in one picture. Art is about the moment. 130 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,480 Speaker 1: In that moment and see view Park, I was so 131 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,560 Speaker 1: very proud of you because you had just delivered our 132 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: third child at home in the water. You had just 133 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,600 Speaker 1: made a decision that you were going to get back 134 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: in front of the camera. And for me, in that moment, 135 00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 1: it was, this is about Codeine. Let me empower her. 136 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 1: I got the kids at this point because for the 137 00:07:30,400 --> 00:07:34,120 Speaker 1: first part of our marriage, you were having babies and 138 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: I was in the forefront right when I was playing football. 139 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,400 Speaker 1: I was in the forefront, when I was doing MSG 140 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,720 Speaker 1: varsity and was opening up the gym and doing all 141 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 1: the things with the business. I was in the forefront 142 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: and you supported me. So for me in this moment, 143 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: it was let me support my wife and empower her, 144 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: putting her in the forefront and make it so and 145 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: make it very clear that she is not the caretaker 146 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 1: in this moment. I am the caretaker. She gonna go 147 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: and be about her business. That was my choice in 148 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,320 Speaker 1: that moment. That didn't encompass our whole family. But what 149 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 1: I did notice when I was reading a lot of 150 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 1: them the comments where some men and some women were 151 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,800 Speaker 1: just like, I don't know why every time we showed 152 00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: a black family, and this was twenty eighteen, a lot 153 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 1: of people didn't know us. Why the black man has 154 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,520 Speaker 1: to be in the back and the black woman always 155 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 1: has to be in the front. Why do we always 156 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 1: emasculate black men? And what it showed me in that 157 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:24,880 Speaker 1: moment was whow A lot of people are triggered by 158 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 1: what they go through and what they see, not even 159 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 1: listening or reading the caption, not seeing what we're trying 160 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 1: to encompass in that moment. They're they're trying to say, 161 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: this picture embodies their whole family all the time. And 162 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,520 Speaker 1: I want to take that to Ashap and Rihanna. People 163 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: have asked me what do I think about the cover. 164 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: I personally thought it was great. Rihanna's coming out of retirement, 165 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 1: she just had his baby, She's doing the Super Bowl, 166 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,280 Speaker 1: she's a billionaire. When I first saw the cover, all 167 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,160 Speaker 1: I thought was, Wow, she took a break to be 168 00:08:58,360 --> 00:09:01,199 Speaker 1: home with her family, build the family, create the family, 169 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 1: because women are the vessel of life. Now she's stepping 170 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,959 Speaker 1: back into the forefront. When I saw a step, I'm like, yo, 171 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: he's the father holding it, holding it down so his 172 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: wife can go do her thing. But we're not married, right, 173 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 1: not married, But it's his child's mother can go. And 174 00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:19,559 Speaker 1: she's pregnant again now, so they're gonna have another child's mother. 175 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 1: They're in a relationship. Yeah, that's that's you can say, right, so, 176 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 1: and I don't we don't know because they're not public. 177 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 1: We don't know if they're engaged or if they're planning nuptials. 178 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 1: We really don't know. But when I saw the picture, 179 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 1: I felt like, oh shit, that's dope. And then the 180 00:09:34,679 --> 00:09:37,520 Speaker 1: comment started to come out right, and one of my 181 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:40,079 Speaker 1: home girls, Tiffany, was just like yo, like why does 182 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:44,440 Speaker 1: everything has to be about emasculating the black man? And 183 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,800 Speaker 1: what I was trying to explain to her was that 184 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,960 Speaker 1: other people's opinions about the picture are their opinions, and 185 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:56,079 Speaker 1: oftentime they're triggered by their own personal experiences. So if 186 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 1: another man sees that and he feels like this is 187 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:03,120 Speaker 1: an asculation agenda, that's what he feels. That's how the 188 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,040 Speaker 1: picture made him feel. When you present art to the world, 189 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,640 Speaker 1: there's going to be different opinions. What we have to 190 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 1: stop doing is expecting other people to agree with how 191 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: that art is supposed to make us feel. That man 192 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 1: had that opinion about Asappan and Rihanna, that's his opinion. 193 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 1: It's not my job to convince him that his opinion 194 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 1: is wrong. That's how it made him feel. What I 195 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: can only do is tell him what I saw based 196 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: on my opinion, and then we talk about it and 197 00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 1: be like, oh, I learned this from you, or you 198 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,719 Speaker 1: learned this from me, or we can agree to disagree. 199 00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:34,480 Speaker 1: But it doesn't have to be a thing where I 200 00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:38,079 Speaker 1: now have to convince everybody else that my opinion is 201 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:41,199 Speaker 1: the most valid. It's just trying to understand how people 202 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 1: come up with those opinions. And the reason why I 203 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,400 Speaker 1: wanted to talk about that first before we get into 204 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: the waymaker is because when it was presented to me 205 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,120 Speaker 1: to do the cover, and that's to do the family 206 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,120 Speaker 1: issue of the cover, we were very deliberate about how 207 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:58,920 Speaker 1: we wanted to represent our family, right, and you're transition 208 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 1: that we did okay right. And the only reason why 209 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 1: I'm bringing this up is because I want to talk 210 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: about the artistic aspect of how we decide to do 211 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 1: all right, because people have to understand too. With photo shoots, 212 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: typically there is not they don't just go to the 213 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: shoot and then you know, just act as if things 214 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 1: happen on the spot. A lot of things are very 215 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 1: well thought out. There's mood boards, there's discussion, what's the 216 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: angle that we're trying to say? What are we trying 217 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,840 Speaker 1: to evoke here? Right? A lot of that goes into 218 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: a photo shoots Yes, lights, yes, wardrobe, everything, everything, everything, mood, 219 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:30,960 Speaker 1: all of that because it can completely change the whole 220 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: entire image. So that was important for us with the 221 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:37,440 Speaker 1: with the waymakers shoes Yes, And we took several different 222 00:11:37,480 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 1: pictures and I felt all the pictures told a different story. 223 00:11:41,559 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 1: And the biggest thing was and that's what people don't 224 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:48,559 Speaker 1: realize is how important makeup, lighting and fashion is with photography. 225 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 1: So the picture we selected for a wayfaren. The reason 226 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,160 Speaker 1: why I want to use this as an example is 227 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: because I can only tell you what we went through. 228 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: We can't tell y'all what and how they chose, but 229 00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: I can tell you how we chose you I'll cover 230 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 1: We started with wardrobe and a mood board what we 231 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,719 Speaker 1: wanted to build out. Right. After you build out the 232 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:09,199 Speaker 1: right wardrobe, then it's hair, hair and makeup, and then 233 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 1: it's lighting. Then it's outside. We have to find a background. Right, 234 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: So we chose the big dress for Codein. We chose 235 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 1: the tuxedo for me all the boys. And the reason 236 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,520 Speaker 1: why we chose those because we wanted to be an 237 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,400 Speaker 1: elevated version of Brooklyn, so we wanted it to be 238 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 1: still the Brooklyn Ellison, So we chose the stoop. We 239 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,319 Speaker 1: got the stop in Brooklyn, and the boys were all 240 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:32,920 Speaker 1: going to be in an elevated version of casual wear. Right, 241 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: and my dress, I was really trying to go for 242 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 1: something different, Right, did you guys usually see me in 243 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:39,960 Speaker 1: something or form fitting and you know, blitz and glam. 244 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,840 Speaker 1: But I was trying to do something a little bit more. 245 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,920 Speaker 1: I can't say subtle, because the dress was a big 246 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: touble at all subtle about it. It was the different style, 247 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: a different tape on Codein. Right, So we took a 248 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,600 Speaker 1: whole bunch of different photos. One had Codeine at the 249 00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:54,600 Speaker 1: bottom so they can see the dress go through the bottom, 250 00:12:54,600 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 1: and then I was at the top, and then all 251 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 1: the boys were at the top of the stairs. But 252 00:12:58,200 --> 00:12:59,760 Speaker 1: then we were kind of like, and does this really 253 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,600 Speaker 1: represent our family? Looks disconnected. So then we landed on 254 00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: Codeine being in the middle one because it showed the 255 00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: full dress and all the tooling. Two she was surrounded 256 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 1: by all of the men in her life for protection. 257 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: And three I was at the top of the stair 258 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,240 Speaker 1: holding our youngest child, which in our minds showed the 259 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:21,160 Speaker 1: full structure of our family. The Vale is the leader. 260 00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,760 Speaker 1: I'm the leader, but Codein is the queen. Protect the queen. 261 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 1: She was the centerpiece of the photo. So what we decided. 262 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 1: I sat down with Josh and Matt and we were like, yo, 263 00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 1: what do you think about this photo? I said, it 264 00:13:33,559 --> 00:13:35,440 Speaker 1: says a lot because we did that. We're like, what 265 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 1: does this photo say that about every single photo that 266 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: was taken, and what does it say in this moment? 267 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,800 Speaker 1: Because this is the moment and in our eyes, this 268 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 1: is what the photo said. The val is holding the 269 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:50,680 Speaker 1: youngest in a position of protection. He is slightly behind 270 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:53,760 Speaker 1: Codein in a position of protection, but he's at the 271 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: top of the stairs. Codein is the centerpiece of the family. 272 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: She's the only woman. She's in the middle for protect 273 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:03,160 Speaker 1: but she's also the centerpiece. So you have the leader 274 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 1: and you have the centerpiece. That's how we sat down 275 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:08,200 Speaker 1: and figured out this would be the best way to 276 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 1: represent our family in this moment, this moment. Now, that 277 00:14:12,679 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 1: does not mean that if Cadeen books a daytime talk 278 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:21,640 Speaker 1: show and she's about to go on a world tour 279 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 1: for speaking engagement and has a book coming out, and 280 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: if way Maker asks us to do another cover, Codein 281 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 1: is not going to be in the front holding my 282 00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 1: hand with me holding the kids. Because in that moment, 283 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 1: it's all about Codein. And that's what I think people 284 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,400 Speaker 1: are missing about the ASAP and Rihanna. Right, it wasn't 285 00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,960 Speaker 1: just a regular family shoot on a random wasn't It 286 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,840 Speaker 1: wasn't that to the baby photo shoot either. No, it 287 00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: wasn't about the baby. It wasn't about a SAP. It 288 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 1: was about Rihanna being introduced back into society as now 289 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,960 Speaker 1: a billionaire, but also just doing the Super Bowl and saying, hey, 290 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,240 Speaker 1: I'm about to get back into what I normally do. 291 00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 1: So what I think people are missing is the artist 292 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,040 Speaker 1: aspect of what photos mean. But also in the moment. 293 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,160 Speaker 1: Don't take away the moment. No one says this is 294 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: our family structure and this is what it represents all 295 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 1: the time. This is the moment. But I'm also not 296 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,600 Speaker 1: going to discredit how people feel when they see the 297 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 1: picture because it's art. Art is supposed to make you 298 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,720 Speaker 1: feel away if you're a man, and particularly a black man. 299 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:23,680 Speaker 1: And the reason why I say black man is because 300 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:27,000 Speaker 1: historically black men have not been held in a position 301 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: of power when it comes to white publications. Neither have 302 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 1: black women. But we are living in a time of 303 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:36,320 Speaker 1: women empowerment and we see more black women being honored 304 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 1: and praised in these situations, and I feel like a 305 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,520 Speaker 1: lot of black men feel like, when is it going 306 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: to be our turn? And I will say this, I've 307 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,840 Speaker 1: had this argument with a lot of my colleagues about 308 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:52,040 Speaker 1: things that they see on Instagram and social media. You 309 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: tend to see what you search. So if you search 310 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 1: the same stuff over and over again, and it's pictures 311 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:04,240 Speaker 1: in video of black men being emasculated or denigrated, that's 312 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 1: what you're going to see. I mean, anybody can find 313 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 1: supporting evidence for any whatever their argument is exactly, and 314 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 1: that's my point. My point is social media has made 315 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 1: it where you constantly search one thing, it gets fed 316 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 1: to your phone. So then your reality, your reality becomes 317 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,360 Speaker 1: what you searched. You understand what I'm saying. So rather 318 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,760 Speaker 1: than searching how many black men have been emasculated, or 319 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,760 Speaker 1: the denigration of black men, or the denigration of black families, 320 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,560 Speaker 1: how about we start searching the empowerment and start looking 321 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 1: for the reasons we should be proud so that those 322 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 1: can be fed to our phone so we can get 323 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 1: out of this narrative that it's only happening in this 324 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: one moment, because that's just not true. You said that, 325 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: You just said that you don't feel like black men 326 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,520 Speaker 1: have ever been viewed in a position of power in publications, 327 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:51,000 Speaker 1: right in European based publication, because I'm about to say, 328 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:53,520 Speaker 1: we probably had some black men on some covers. You 329 00:16:53,560 --> 00:16:57,520 Speaker 1: have Jonathan Majors for example, absolutely Ebony recently, but that's 330 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,960 Speaker 1: not a European publication. Ebony is a Black public But 331 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,840 Speaker 1: what I'm saying is when we talk about the black 332 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:09,080 Speaker 1: family in publications, um typically it's the black man is 333 00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:12,719 Speaker 1: not celebrated in European publications with the black family. It's not. 334 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,640 Speaker 1: And I'll give you an example. Um, if you follow sports, 335 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:21,920 Speaker 1: it is well known that the black single mom narrative 336 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 1: in sports is celebrated. They talk about Lebron's mom all 337 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,880 Speaker 1: the time, they talk about KDE's mom. But then when 338 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,520 Speaker 1: you have a guy like LaVar Ball right who's demonstrative 339 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,400 Speaker 1: and wants to make sure his sons get the best, 340 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,159 Speaker 1: he's demonized, right and for people who'd be like, oh, well, 341 00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 1: LaVar Ball is crazy. When Archie Manning was trying to 342 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: control everything about his son's being drafted in and was 343 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:46,920 Speaker 1: refusing for the Chargers to draft, uh no, it wasn't. 344 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,120 Speaker 1: It was Eli Manning. It was Archie Manning. Archie Manning 345 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 1: is but he was trying to control where Eli Manning 346 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,920 Speaker 1: got drafted. No one said that he was overstepping. It 347 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 1: was Wow, this is a dad who's trying to do 348 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 1: the best there for his kids. You know, when when 349 00:18:02,119 --> 00:18:04,919 Speaker 1: King Richard Richard Williams was trying to make sure that 350 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,480 Speaker 1: his daughters were protected and did things the way he wanted, 351 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,600 Speaker 1: he was demonized. You know, so I feel like there 352 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,880 Speaker 1: is a long history of black men in powerful positions 353 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:16,720 Speaker 1: who try to lead for their families get demonized for 354 00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:19,640 Speaker 1: being what they want to be for their families. Well 355 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,959 Speaker 1: what about being so in terms of being there for 356 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 1: their families in the position that they want to be. 357 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:28,000 Speaker 1: Who's to say that a SAP is not perfectly okay 358 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:30,439 Speaker 1: holding out a fort with the baby, changing diapers and 359 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 1: all that while his woman is out there making her moves. Again, 360 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: I feel that, you know, and I think nobody even 361 00:18:37,119 --> 00:18:40,040 Speaker 1: investigates if that was even a discussion that they might 362 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 1: have had. Like, he looked like he was very much 363 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:47,040 Speaker 1: enjoying her Super Bowl performance from the sidelines, not trying 364 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,680 Speaker 1: to make it about him either, Right, he just seemed 365 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 1: like he was enjoying the show like everybody else, supporting 366 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,879 Speaker 1: his woman. Well, why can't that be the case? I 367 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: can tell you this, that picture did not get to 368 00:18:57,760 --> 00:19:03,119 Speaker 1: publication without the approval of Rihanna and ASAP. Like, no 369 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 1: one is going to just allow their likeness to be 370 00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 1: used without saying I didn't proof, especially Rihanna, She was 371 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,880 Speaker 1: probably all up in that. So clearly they're both okay 372 00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:14,040 Speaker 1: with not only the picture but the dynamic of how 373 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 1: their family exists and is being presented to the world 374 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,640 Speaker 1: in this moment, which is fine, you know what I'm saying, 375 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 1: which I think is perfectly fine, but I think people 376 00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:24,480 Speaker 1: forget about the moment that and that to me, I 377 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,200 Speaker 1: want if you walk away from anything from this podcast, 378 00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:31,040 Speaker 1: understand that we're talking about the moment, right, but we 379 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:35,639 Speaker 1: have to stop doing as consumers of content. Is taking 380 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:40,000 Speaker 1: a picture and saying that this picture represents everything in 381 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 1: this totality means it represents the black family and it 382 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,919 Speaker 1: represents the black family in eternity. It's not this picture 383 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: represents Rihanna and Asap in their child in that moment, 384 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: because there could be another photo that comes out of 385 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: them on another cover which is completely different in a 386 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: couple of months, you know what I'm saying, And that 387 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:02,400 Speaker 1: that leads me to also the Jonathan Major's cover, right, 388 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 1: Eban did to cover with Jonathan Majors. I don't know 389 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,840 Speaker 1: who saw it, but Valentine's Day, February and it was 390 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 1: one way. He had the gene the gene the hygiene 391 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,119 Speaker 1: boots with the coat sitting on the back of the 392 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,240 Speaker 1: couch and he had his legs crossed in his face. 393 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,720 Speaker 1: I think he's poking his lips. There was also the 394 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:23,480 Speaker 1: Valentine's Day one with the roses and all. Yes, I mean, 395 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 1: I guess it was one of those things where beauties 396 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,920 Speaker 1: in the either beholder right. Personally, for me, that image 397 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 1: didn't do it for which one the roses or yeah, 398 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 1: the roses with the box? No, no, you like the 399 00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 1: entire shoot. To me personally, I was just kind of like, 400 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 1: you know, okay, but did you feel like he was 401 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 1: being immasculated? That's the thing. I didn't feel like it 402 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 1: was an emasculation thing. I just felt like it was, 403 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:47,479 Speaker 1: in my eyes, not styled in a way that I 404 00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 1: thought was attractive. You know, um, I've seen him look 405 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,919 Speaker 1: better in better shoots. I've seen him portrayed, you know, 406 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,600 Speaker 1: um more in a more masculine way. Yeah, And it 407 00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 1: wasn't even a masculine feminine thing. I just didn't find 408 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,679 Speaker 1: it sexy, if that's what they were going for, like 409 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,639 Speaker 1: sex symbol on the cover of Ebony magazine holding the roses. 410 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,679 Speaker 1: It just didn't read like that to me. And I 411 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 1: think that he's, you know, an attractive guy, and he's 412 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,520 Speaker 1: doing a lot of things in Hollywood and all that. 413 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 1: But the emasculation part. I didn't necessarily see that. I 414 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,480 Speaker 1: just felt like that artistically was what they wanted to do. 415 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,119 Speaker 1: And he of course had to sign off on that 416 00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:20,600 Speaker 1: as well too, right because he said no covers go 417 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 1: to print unless said just what I wanted. Proves it absolutely, 418 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,000 Speaker 1: you know, but you, as a black man in Hollywood, 419 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:29,760 Speaker 1: is sending how do you feel about that? Well, to me, 420 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,159 Speaker 1: I'm not into fashion like that, like y'all know. With me, 421 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 1: I'm wear the same T shirt every day, i wear 422 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 1: the same sweatpant. So I'm not hit on what's fashionable 423 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,159 Speaker 1: and what's not fashionable. Like I see things and to me, 424 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,880 Speaker 1: sometimes things are just not fashionable or what I would wear. 425 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,240 Speaker 1: I'm from Brooklyn, I grew up in the nineties. I 426 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:49,919 Speaker 1: would wear Tim's jeans, bootcut gems. You know what I'm 427 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 1: saying like that, which is to me, But I've also 428 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 1: learned through my my styling team shout out to shall 429 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 1: Read that you have to change things up. Yeah, you 430 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,920 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, as and evolved as a person, 431 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,000 Speaker 1: unless you want to get uck as that old man 432 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,080 Speaker 1: who still wears the same clothes that you wore when 433 00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:08,439 Speaker 1: you were in high school and to me. Also, fashion 434 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:11,920 Speaker 1: is always not about masculine feminine. For example, the whole 435 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,680 Speaker 1: wearing a mask, big baggy clothes with the holes in it, 436 00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: with the big boots thing, I don't think that's a 437 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:20,000 Speaker 1: masculine feminine thing. To me, that's just not what I 438 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,040 Speaker 1: want to wear. But it's fashionable. People are wearing these 439 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,639 Speaker 1: big red shoes that look like legos and people think 440 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,200 Speaker 1: it's fashionable. I just I'm not into fashion like that. 441 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 1: But when it comes to the whole emasculation of a 442 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:37,720 Speaker 1: person through one pot, like one photo, I think that's bullshit. Right, 443 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:40,439 Speaker 1: And I'll give you an example. Kevin Stage posted a 444 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:44,760 Speaker 1: video talking about all of the hyper masculine things that 445 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,640 Speaker 1: that Jonathan Major's has been in, right, and this year alone, 446 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,040 Speaker 1: and this year alone, He's played a fire pilot, He's 447 00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:54,399 Speaker 1: played a cowboy, he's been a boxer, he's been Kang, 448 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,440 Speaker 1: the biggest emperor in Marvel, and he didn't something else. 449 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:00,440 Speaker 1: He was a villain and he played some I forgot 450 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: with the other one he played in. But long story short, 451 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:07,720 Speaker 1: he was a boxer. Long story short, Jonathan Majors has 452 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:11,280 Speaker 1: been hyper masculine for the better part of the last 453 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:16,120 Speaker 1: five years. He's done mad photo shoot, Yes, mad photos. 454 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:19,120 Speaker 1: But here it is, there's one photo shoot, and now 455 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:23,199 Speaker 1: the narrative behind this photo shoot is the emasculation of 456 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 1: Jonathan Majors. And it's like, are we not going to 457 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: talk about the other ninety nine thousand pieces of content 458 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,960 Speaker 1: that is out there, but just because you will disagree 459 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:35,320 Speaker 1: with this one photo. Now it's this whole theory that 460 00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 1: they're trying to emasculate him. People once again are forgetting 461 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,040 Speaker 1: about the time, like this is what he chose to 462 00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 1: do in this moment, right. Plus, if we're being honest, right, 463 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,320 Speaker 1: I look at some of the stuff that he's wore, 464 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,320 Speaker 1: right or is wearing, and I go back to the seventies, 465 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:56,119 Speaker 1: some of the most masculine histories, going back some of 466 00:23:56,200 --> 00:24:00,800 Speaker 1: the most masculine men in history. For example, I turn no, no, 467 00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:07,240 Speaker 1: not Prince Ike Turner wore wigs with a bob eyeliner, 468 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:17,399 Speaker 1: that bank he had eyeliner, super super tight shorts, tight 469 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 1: leather pants, heels with platform shoes, suede shirts, net netted 470 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 1: fitted shirts with his chest out and was fucking mad bitches. 471 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,200 Speaker 1: And the Chris Why I say that is because fashion 472 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 1: cannot determine your masculinity. I don't say what I'm saying, fashion, clothing, colors, 473 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:44,400 Speaker 1: all that. I can't. It can't determine it can't determine 474 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:49,080 Speaker 1: your your masculinity. For example, Russell Westbrook, Right, they got 475 00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 1: on Russell Westbrook because he wore killed. They got on 476 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 1: him because sometimes he wears clothes that are super fitted 477 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,160 Speaker 1: or may have his chest out in a low V cut, 478 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 1: and they're just like, why is Russell. I guarantee you know, 479 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:04,040 Speaker 1: body who puts in these comments and Russell Westbrook is 480 00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,200 Speaker 1: feminine will go up to Russell Westbrook in his face 481 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 1: and say that's him. The man is sixty three, I 482 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 1: think two hundred and ten pounds, chiseled, right, and he's 483 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,520 Speaker 1: from Oakland. I believe he's from Oakland somewhere in California. 484 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,000 Speaker 1: And they're not gonna roll up on him. But social 485 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,400 Speaker 1: media makes it easy for people to just throw out 486 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:26,560 Speaker 1: opinions and hide behind keyboards. And the greater social media becomes, 487 00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:29,400 Speaker 1: the harder it is for us to decipher whose opinions 488 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,080 Speaker 1: matter and whose opinions don't. And my biggest thing is, 489 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:38,040 Speaker 1: before you discredit anybody's opinions, how about we just take 490 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,680 Speaker 1: a chance to look at who's giving the opinion and 491 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: where their opinion may be coming from. That's a fact 492 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,679 Speaker 1: because then when I even think about it, so me 493 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 1: from my life experience and how we exist within our family. 494 00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 1: Thinking back to that photo of us in the park 495 00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 1: and seeing that, I just know it's a moment where 496 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: a whole like my husband choose to celebrate me in 497 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:00,479 Speaker 1: this moment. He knows that I'm trying to get back 498 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,600 Speaker 1: out there and just had two kids back to back me. 499 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,080 Speaker 1: Now our family of one that wasn't supposed to be 500 00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,200 Speaker 1: three in this apartment, it is now three in this apartment. 501 00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: There were so many things going on, so you in 502 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,880 Speaker 1: that moment, chose to celebrate me. So when I see 503 00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:16,760 Speaker 1: the Rihanna Asap cover, my first thing isn't to think, damn, 504 00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 1: Rihanna is like pulling him behind like a little child. 505 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,480 Speaker 1: She has two children like and he's in the background. 506 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:26,040 Speaker 1: My thing was, oh, shoot, like yeah, we're celebrating Rihanna 507 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,520 Speaker 1: in this moment, because you know, she's doing big things. 508 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,160 Speaker 1: Now this is the first time coming back out and 509 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:32,480 Speaker 1: he's holding down the four at home because he knows 510 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,040 Speaker 1: the importance attacking the family close by like those are 511 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,520 Speaker 1: those are the narratives and the images that's that's coming 512 00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 1: to me because that's my life experience exactly. So it's 513 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,840 Speaker 1: literally a direct correlation between the two. And then I 514 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,399 Speaker 1: think some people are just in general upset about everything 515 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,520 Speaker 1: and they're trying to always pick something apart and that's 516 00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 1: what they're gonna do. But but that's why I also 517 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:57,359 Speaker 1: feel like you can't discredit people's opinions because it's different 518 00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,560 Speaker 1: than yours. Right, Me and Trouble just had about an 519 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: hour long discussion about this whole thing, and it gets 520 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,359 Speaker 1: heated because we both have our opinions based on our 521 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 1: viewpoint in life, but also our life experience. Right, So 522 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,400 Speaker 1: what you don't do is you don't discredit someone's opinion 523 00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,679 Speaker 1: by saying you're wrong. You listen and say, you know what, 524 00:27:18,080 --> 00:27:20,879 Speaker 1: I can see where you're coming from because this is 525 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,680 Speaker 1: what you've experienced. This art made me feel a way 526 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,639 Speaker 1: because of what I experienced. That's when you begin to 527 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 1: create like full natural dialogue that creates a greater level 528 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:37,400 Speaker 1: of thinking, when you can look at someone who's experienced 529 00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 1: something different from you, who looks different than you. Because 530 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 1: Tribal is a woman, I'm a man, she's a queer woman. 531 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,199 Speaker 1: I'm a heterosexual man. We can have different life experiences 532 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 1: in the same life, see the same picture and think 533 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 1: two different things, and you know what's the best part 534 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,600 Speaker 1: about it. It's okay, it's okay. But the dialogue that 535 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:58,359 Speaker 1: comes around it has to remain in a place of 536 00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,520 Speaker 1: positivity where we can learn from each other, not poke 537 00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:04,239 Speaker 1: at each other and use it to gaslight or use 538 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:06,240 Speaker 1: it as a trigger for each other. And when I 539 00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 1: look at social media, that's what I see, you know, 540 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: Like I see some comments even with the Jonathan Major's picture, 541 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:13,439 Speaker 1: was just like, oh the minute, and the next thing 542 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 1: is he gonna be wearing a dress or the next 543 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: thing is he gonna be wearing pink or this? And 544 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:21,520 Speaker 1: it's just like, bro, well, it was wearing pink. It's 545 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 1: about love. It's about love. And wore a pink sweater 546 00:28:25,840 --> 00:28:28,119 Speaker 1: the other day. You don't know why, because it was 547 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:33,399 Speaker 1: fly dope. I like the color pattern with the black 548 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,239 Speaker 1: and the pink. It didn't matter to me that it 549 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,600 Speaker 1: was pink. Um. I was not concerned about being emasculated 550 00:28:38,640 --> 00:28:40,800 Speaker 1: by my team who got the pink sweater for me. 551 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 1: I just thought it was dope, you know, what I'm saying. 552 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,080 Speaker 1: And I also feel like we have to get rid 553 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 1: of this whole idea that in order to be successful 554 00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,840 Speaker 1: you have to give up part of who you are. 555 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,040 Speaker 1: That's not the case, right, And what I get tired 556 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:59,600 Speaker 1: of is people discrediting other people's success by saying they 557 00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:01,920 Speaker 1: sold their soul or they're part of the quote unquote 558 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 1: Illuminati because you didn't work as hard as they did 559 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:09,440 Speaker 1: to get there. I'll give you another example. Last year, 560 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:12,600 Speaker 1: I did a picture downstairs in the theater. Oh god, right, 561 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,760 Speaker 1: that's when it we fully got in done this when 562 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,320 Speaker 1: this is when I knew people was full of shit. Right. 563 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 1: I did a picture downstairs and I had just become 564 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 1: friends with Eva, right, U and Eva. If y'all don't know, 565 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 1: even Eva one America's Next Time Model. She had one 566 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:32,440 Speaker 1: of the most famous pictures of what I don't know 567 00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:35,280 Speaker 1: what it was A spider was a tarantula, and the 568 00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 1: tarantula was on her hand and she was covering her 569 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:40,440 Speaker 1: eye and the other fingers were on the other eye 570 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:42,480 Speaker 1: and the tarantula was climbing up her hand right right. 571 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 1: So I was making a joke and making fun of 572 00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:47,640 Speaker 1: Eva when we were doing the pictures because I was like, 573 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do shoot a picture like Eva and send 574 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:51,560 Speaker 1: it to her. So we shot the picture and the 575 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,960 Speaker 1: picture actually came out dope, right. It was something about 576 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:56,960 Speaker 1: the way the light was hitting from the projector on you. 577 00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,880 Speaker 1: They were like, oh, shoot, the light just happened to 578 00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,360 Speaker 1: hit you at this angle. And Josh was like, oh, shoot, 579 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: this might actually work. Remember there was the yellow hyphen. Yeah, 580 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,880 Speaker 1: and the yellow hyphen crossed my eye at the same time, right, 581 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,800 Speaker 1: So I put my hand like Eva making a funny face, 582 00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,760 Speaker 1: and the yellow crowd my eye. So we posted it 583 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,720 Speaker 1: and I looked under the post and I see I 584 00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,680 Speaker 1: knew this was gonna happen. He sold his soul, say 585 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,720 Speaker 1: it ain't so the value he's a party of Illuminati. 586 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: Right then I was like, Oh, it's just a couple 587 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:23,640 Speaker 1: of comments, you know, people just doing whatever. Then I 588 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 1: go to YouTube and there's a YouTube page that says 589 00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,480 Speaker 1: the Ellis is sold. There's a YouTube video that says 590 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,440 Speaker 1: the Ellis is sold. There's soul part of the Illuminati. 591 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,600 Speaker 1: Ten reasons why. And they went through all of my 592 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:38,280 Speaker 1: pictures for the two thousand and something pictures for the 593 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,800 Speaker 1: last seven years. There was a picture of me too 594 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 1: in that African outfit where I was Yes, I was 595 00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:45,520 Speaker 1: just posed with my arms kind of just hanging down 596 00:30:45,560 --> 00:30:47,240 Speaker 1: in between my legs and they're like, she's in the 597 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 1: Freemason reprose. In the Freemason Report, our our t shirts 598 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:57,760 Speaker 1: for Elite pro type athletics was the diamond. The triangle 599 00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,640 Speaker 1: was created out of diamond. The triangle was create supposed 600 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,880 Speaker 1: to be the athlete, the parent, and the coach. That 601 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:05,480 Speaker 1: was what we called the Triangle of Success for athletes. 602 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:08,880 Speaker 1: And in the middle it had an EPA Elite Prototype Athletics. 603 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,080 Speaker 1: They used that triangle and says, see, he's a part 604 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,520 Speaker 1: of the Illuminati. They removed the eye. But if you 605 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 1: look at the picture and he asked his eye and 606 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: the Illuminati. And then when I put the shoot that 607 00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:22,040 Speaker 1: we did for Cairo's maternity, yes, yeah, and he had 608 00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:24,680 Speaker 1: the eye of round these stomachs. So they said the 609 00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 1: all seeing eye the triangle. And then one of my 610 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,600 Speaker 1: close friends, Jason his JA coach, out to Jay Coole. 611 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,239 Speaker 1: He's the one who trained Cairo and Jackson. He has 612 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 1: a triangle as well on his and we've never talked 613 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,360 Speaker 1: about why he has a triangle, but they said, we 614 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 1: are now we now are putting our friends into the circle, 615 00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:46,920 Speaker 1: and you can tell them him paying homage to the 616 00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 1: Ellis is because he has a triangle for Cold World training. 617 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,840 Speaker 1: And I bust out laughing when I first saw it. 618 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:55,600 Speaker 1: But then I was like, yo, you know how dangerous 619 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 1: this is because when I looked at the video at 620 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: the time, there was like forty thou views of the video, 621 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,479 Speaker 1: and then I was looking at the captions and I mean, 622 00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:06,760 Speaker 1: I'm looking at the comments and people were believing it. 623 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,640 Speaker 1: And then people were also giving in their examples of 624 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,200 Speaker 1: ye I saw Codeine do this, and Devout has said this, 625 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,200 Speaker 1: and I'm like, wait a minute. So the forty thousand 626 00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,640 Speaker 1: people watched it, and there were like seven hundred comments 627 00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 1: of people agreeing with the video and saying this always 628 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 1: happens at some point. To reach that level of success, 629 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,160 Speaker 1: you have to sell out. And I was like, you 630 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,600 Speaker 1: know what, it's no longer funny to me. Yeah, it's 631 00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:29,280 Speaker 1: not funny. It's fucked up. And I'm gonna tell you 632 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,760 Speaker 1: why it's not funny. Codeine and I have worked our 633 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: asses off to get here, and yes we have sacrificed, 634 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:40,320 Speaker 1: you know what, We sacrificed. We have sacrificed finances, we 635 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 1: have sacrificed time with our family, we have sacrificed time 636 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,120 Speaker 1: with our friends, and we've sacrificed going out and spending 637 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 1: money on things that could have made us feel good 638 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,240 Speaker 1: in the moment. And we saved to create a greater 639 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:53,600 Speaker 1: environment for not only us to succeed, but our friends 640 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 1: around us to succeed. And now it's not being validated 641 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:00,040 Speaker 1: for the hard work, but it's being discredited as a 642 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,320 Speaker 1: part of devil worship. And the fact is that narrative 643 00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 1: can run, It'll run faster than anything else being detriment 644 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:12,479 Speaker 1: to our entire everything. And to be honest, I'm starting 645 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,920 Speaker 1: to get sick of it. And when I watched Rihanna 646 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: and Asap, and no, I'm not saying that they're not 647 00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 1: a part of the Illuminati. I don't know. I don't 648 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: believe in the Illuminati. Because if if the Illuminati exists 649 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:24,880 Speaker 1: and I'm in it, well, somebody owe me a check. 650 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:30,160 Speaker 1: That's a fact, because braggy yet you know what I'm saying. 651 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,560 Speaker 1: So if somebody owe me something, if the Illuminati is 652 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,240 Speaker 1: real and I'm a part of it, though, and somebody 653 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,080 Speaker 1: let me know who. I got to talk to a 654 00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 1: couple more commas than I need. But I'm just getting 655 00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:45,400 Speaker 1: tired of watching people on social media utilize their own 656 00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,520 Speaker 1: life experience to discredit people who have done great things 657 00:33:49,120 --> 00:33:51,080 Speaker 1: by trying to take away the hard work they've put 658 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 1: into and the fact that people really take the time 659 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,280 Speaker 1: to sit here and go through people's pages and go 660 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 1: through every post, and go through every podcast episode and 661 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,040 Speaker 1: go through every video to them pull this again. Like 662 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:03,360 Speaker 1: I said, you're always going to find something to support 663 00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 1: whatever your cause is. It's absolutely ridiculous. It is. It's 664 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,120 Speaker 1: absolutely ridiculous at this point. But also going back to 665 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:15,600 Speaker 1: Rihanna and ASAP's picture, people saying it's just the baby daddy, 666 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:19,319 Speaker 1: Asap in his own right has a career absolutely and 667 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,400 Speaker 1: his net worth, I mean, I don't know what it 668 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:22,839 Speaker 1: is now. I think when I looked it up last time, 669 00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:27,480 Speaker 1: it estimates somewhere around twenty million. But he's no slouch. 670 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:29,319 Speaker 1: He's no slouch at all. She didn't just find some 671 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,160 Speaker 1: random dude that with shit not do nothing, and she 672 00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:34,080 Speaker 1: just was like, Oh, I'm just trying to, you know, 673 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,400 Speaker 1: have his babies and just make him sit back here 674 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna just control him, I'm sure, and knowing 675 00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,160 Speaker 1: the kind of person that Rihanna is just based off 676 00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 1: of what I've seen of her because I don't know 677 00:34:43,719 --> 00:34:45,839 Speaker 1: her personally, so I can't speak on that. She don't 678 00:34:45,880 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: seem like she's just gonna take any any old slouch neither. 679 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,759 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like she's probably gonna look 680 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 1: for someone who's equally as strong and absolutely I can't. 681 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,399 Speaker 1: I can't see someone like Rihanna in that position of power. 682 00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:01,360 Speaker 1: How our Island girls do too. Yeah, Island girls are 683 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 1: a lot, Yeah, a lot to deal with. But I 684 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:08,880 Speaker 1: just I just feel like when we're having these conversations 685 00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,080 Speaker 1: as a community of people, right, rather than arguing with 686 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,600 Speaker 1: each other and placing blame on each other because it's 687 00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:17,480 Speaker 1: trible and I were talking, it was like, why does 688 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,120 Speaker 1: it always end up being a black woman versus black man? Thing? 689 00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:21,840 Speaker 1: And triples is something that I think is hilarious, but 690 00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:25,040 Speaker 1: it's also true trying to push these bots. I know 691 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,759 Speaker 1: the boss, there's a whole bunch of boss that's just 692 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,799 Speaker 1: say we're purposely set up. But she has said that 693 00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:34,640 Speaker 1: we often play the oppression Olympics, right, Who was more oppressed. 694 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,840 Speaker 1: Was it black women being oppressed by their voices or 695 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:40,680 Speaker 1: black women being black men being targeted with violence, Like 696 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,200 Speaker 1: who was more oppressed? And I feel like number one, 697 00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,880 Speaker 1: we have to validate the fact that black women and 698 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,160 Speaker 1: black men in the world have been the most oppressed 699 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,520 Speaker 1: people in the world. Like like when we when we 700 00:35:54,560 --> 00:36:00,080 Speaker 1: think about holocausts, there's not one holocaust, you know, the 701 00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,759 Speaker 1: Black Holocaust that existed in the Congo where King Leopold 702 00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 1: was a holocaust. It was a black holocaust that happened 703 00:36:05,719 --> 00:36:10,279 Speaker 1: in the Congo. Over fifteen million African Africans were slaughtered 704 00:36:10,760 --> 00:36:14,239 Speaker 1: for rubber and I believe sugar, and it isn't talked 705 00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:17,000 Speaker 1: about enough, but black people all over the globe have 706 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:21,600 Speaker 1: experienced similar atrocities and worst atrocities that have happened in 707 00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,120 Speaker 1: America to Black Americans and also to the Jewish people 708 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,200 Speaker 1: that happened in Germany. So there isn't just one thing 709 00:36:27,280 --> 00:36:30,520 Speaker 1: that's happened, like people have been oppressed all over the world. 710 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:34,279 Speaker 1: And I feel like we as black people have to 711 00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:37,800 Speaker 1: stop arguing with each other about who has it the worst, 712 00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,480 Speaker 1: because it seems like every time we get into one 713 00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:44,600 Speaker 1: of these things. Whereas a Rihanna and worst as at Rocky. 714 00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:48,600 Speaker 1: It's black men need to be celebrated out of black 715 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,120 Speaker 1: women need to be celebrated because black witnesses. Like we're 716 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:55,480 Speaker 1: arguing about art where there's a multimillionaire and a billionaire 717 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,200 Speaker 1: on a picture of a British magazine cover. Can we 718 00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,799 Speaker 1: celebrate the fact with their child? Can we celebrate the 719 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,200 Speaker 1: fact that here is a black family even if you 720 00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:07,359 Speaker 1: don't even agree with how their family is constructed. Okay, 721 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,319 Speaker 1: they're not married and they had a baby before they 722 00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:11,880 Speaker 1: got married, But we have a black billionaire and a 723 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:15,040 Speaker 1: multimillionaire and who was going to be the heir to 724 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,239 Speaker 1: whatever they leave behind on the cover of a British 725 00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:22,360 Speaker 1: your magazine, Like we should be celebrating that, but instead 726 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:26,640 Speaker 1: we're having dialogue about who's emasculated and who's had it 727 00:37:26,680 --> 00:37:30,920 Speaker 1: working at Lord Jesus. And I say that because and 728 00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,919 Speaker 1: the reason why I get so like passionate about this 729 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:38,320 Speaker 1: is because I want people to realize what you search 730 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:41,759 Speaker 1: will become your reality in this day and age. You 731 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,359 Speaker 1: put something in Google, you put something in your search 732 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 1: ball for ig or Twitter, the analogs of the analogs, 733 00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:51,760 Speaker 1: the the algorithm is then going to send you similar topics, 734 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:55,280 Speaker 1: similar video, similar pictures, and create a whole world around 735 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:57,960 Speaker 1: you that now you think is the world, when it's 736 00:37:57,960 --> 00:38:01,960 Speaker 1: really just one small bit of what's really going on 737 00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:03,919 Speaker 1: in all this. Sometimes I look at my Explore page 738 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,200 Speaker 1: and I'm like, what the who? Who? Who be all 739 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,480 Speaker 1: my ig page? Because I don't know what the hell 740 00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:11,239 Speaker 1: some of that stuff is that pops up on my 741 00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 1: Explore page. So it just really you're You're right. It 742 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:17,680 Speaker 1: depends on what their agenda is, what the forces that 743 00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:19,719 Speaker 1: be are trying to feed you on a day to 744 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,400 Speaker 1: day basis, And it's like, do you fall into that 745 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,800 Speaker 1: trap or do you not? We have some facts and 746 00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,399 Speaker 1: stats about this here, let's see what we're talking about 747 00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:31,200 Speaker 1: when it talks about representation, media emasculation, or the agenda 748 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:34,480 Speaker 1: of emasculation. A twenty twenty one studies show that seventy 749 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:38,840 Speaker 1: nine percent of people said more diversity is needed on screens. 750 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:44,200 Speaker 1: Positive media representation can be helpful in increasing self esteem 751 00:38:44,200 --> 00:38:49,920 Speaker 1: for people of marginalized groups, especially youth. Into personal contact 752 00:38:49,920 --> 00:38:54,719 Speaker 1: and exposure through media representation can assist in reducing stereotypes 753 00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,560 Speaker 1: of underrepresented groups, which is essentially what I think we 754 00:38:57,600 --> 00:39:01,040 Speaker 1: try to do absolutely. You know, I think we sought 755 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,080 Speaker 1: to do that initially, but it kind of become that. 756 00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:05,920 Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, we never sought to do it, but 757 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:09,839 Speaker 1: I mean subconsciously, we are very purposeful about trying to 758 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:15,440 Speaker 1: represent underrepresented groups because I believe the representation. Yeah, and 759 00:39:15,480 --> 00:39:17,719 Speaker 1: like Black Love, for example, showing more of the black 760 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:22,600 Speaker 1: family unit, whatever that looks like. Representation in educational curricula 761 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:26,160 Speaker 1: and social media can provide validation and support, especially for 762 00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:31,319 Speaker 1: youth of marginalized groups. So seeing Rihanna Asap on a cover, 763 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:35,080 Speaker 1: like you said, two black people, a billionaire, multimillionaire and 764 00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:38,439 Speaker 1: their son can be something that's empowering for our youth 765 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,839 Speaker 1: versus seeing all the other garbage that they see on 766 00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:44,680 Speaker 1: social media anyway. Absolutely. For in ten, people who feel 767 00:39:44,719 --> 00:39:48,440 Speaker 1: poorly represented or have a physical disabilities say that they 768 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:52,240 Speaker 1: don't see enough people with their body type. A similar 769 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:57,600 Speaker 1: percentage of gender nonconforming people share this same sentiment, and 770 00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:01,439 Speaker 1: often the lives of people in entertain don't resemble their 771 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:06,520 Speaker 1: actual own real life. Absolutely sore again art art art art. 772 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,920 Speaker 1: Those who feel poorly represented attribute this sentiment to not 773 00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 1: seeing enough people who behave like them, which is thirty 774 00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,640 Speaker 1: three percent coming from the same economic level, twenty nine 775 00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:20,000 Speaker 1: percent speaking with the same accents or dialects, twenty two percent, 776 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:23,560 Speaker 1: having families like there's twenty one percent, and live in 777 00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:27,960 Speaker 1: a home like there's twenty one percent. So this is 778 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,200 Speaker 1: what I say about representation and why I think representation 779 00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:34,640 Speaker 1: is important. Right, Representation to speaks to the people who 780 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:37,520 Speaker 1: have no voice. Right, and this is why I think 781 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:43,200 Speaker 1: it's important for artists to understand their choices and also 782 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,239 Speaker 1: be able to explain why they made certain choices. Right, 783 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:48,680 Speaker 1: what if we don't know? This is just a what 784 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:52,440 Speaker 1: if we don't know? What if Jonathan Majors has an 785 00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:56,640 Speaker 1: entire group of friends who are exist in the queer community, 786 00:40:57,320 --> 00:40:59,320 Speaker 1: right and he said, Yo, the next cover I'm gonna do, 787 00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:04,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna represent y'all. What's wrong with that? That's very 788 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:07,520 Speaker 1: possible to you know what I'm saying. Because what and 789 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:09,320 Speaker 1: this is and I want people to just think about 790 00:41:09,320 --> 00:41:14,799 Speaker 1: this is because sometimes people who feel represented by a 791 00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: person thinks that that person should only represent them. So 792 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:20,919 Speaker 1: right now, black men feel like Jonathan Major should only 793 00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,520 Speaker 1: represent black man and but they only think he should 794 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:27,560 Speaker 1: only represent black heterosexual men. Right, So if he chooses 795 00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,720 Speaker 1: to do a piece of art that doesn't represent black 796 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:33,440 Speaker 1: heterosexual life. I feel like black heterosexual men get triggered, 797 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:37,000 Speaker 1: and that's when it becomes, oh, this is the agenda. 798 00:41:37,239 --> 00:41:39,799 Speaker 1: It's like, Bro, did you not watch the last five 799 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:42,640 Speaker 1: years of all the hyper masculine stuff that he's done. 800 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:48,000 Speaker 1: I can speak for black heterosexual man who feel like 801 00:41:48,880 --> 00:41:55,279 Speaker 1: we're often underrepresented or underrepresented, especially in Hollywood, especially when 802 00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:58,080 Speaker 1: you lead families, because we feel like we don't see 803 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:05,440 Speaker 1: pictures of black strong family men in Hollywood specifically and 804 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,480 Speaker 1: especially in sports right And I'm just speaking from our 805 00:42:08,600 --> 00:42:11,440 Speaker 1: standpoint because I can't speak from our standpoint. For example, 806 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,920 Speaker 1: Kyrie Irvin was reign raised by a single black father. 807 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:18,000 Speaker 1: How can we don't have a lot of exposed as 808 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:21,040 Speaker 1: about how his father raised him? But we have so 809 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:26,479 Speaker 1: many stories about Lebron's mom and Kd's mom. And I've 810 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 1: listened to a lot of black men say like, yo, 811 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:32,800 Speaker 1: Kyrie's dad, like raised a great man who is now 812 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:36,880 Speaker 1: one of the leaders in the NBA, who is a champion, 813 00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,600 Speaker 1: who was a Rookie of the Year, Like we don't 814 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:41,799 Speaker 1: ever hear his story told the same with a drama 815 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,560 Speaker 1: yet even know that I didn't heis. I've met his 816 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,479 Speaker 1: dad like once or twice, but I had no idea 817 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,080 Speaker 1: that he was a single dad raising him. And and 818 00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:50,280 Speaker 1: the only reason why I'm giving this example is because 819 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:54,920 Speaker 1: when you feel underrepresented, when you see something that you 820 00:42:55,000 --> 00:42:57,279 Speaker 1: think someone is supposed to be representing you and they 821 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,520 Speaker 1: choose to not represent you in the way you want 822 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,640 Speaker 1: them to resent you, you you feel triggered and you attack them. 823 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:05,319 Speaker 1: That's not the way you go about doing things. Because 824 00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,920 Speaker 1: we also have to remember the moment, right, Jonathan Majors 825 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,560 Speaker 1: in that moment, chose to represent something that mattered to 826 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:13,719 Speaker 1: him in that moment. We don't know what it is 827 00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,960 Speaker 1: because it's art, and hopefully he'll be able to tell 828 00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:19,640 Speaker 1: one day what why he made those choices. He doesn't 829 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,560 Speaker 1: have to. It's art, it's subjective. Anybody can think about 830 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:26,120 Speaker 1: Anyone even read that at the article because typically the 831 00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:30,160 Speaker 1: article has something to kind of do with well the cover. 832 00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,600 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, absolutely, and I agree with 833 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,200 Speaker 1: you on that. If you read the article you might 834 00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,799 Speaker 1: get a better understanding of it. He was trying to 835 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:41,839 Speaker 1: represent his friends who maybe of queer community, and that's 836 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:47,160 Speaker 1: what the that's the image, because that may be it 837 00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:49,680 Speaker 1: could just be that he liked the costuming. It could 838 00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:51,360 Speaker 1: be that it could have been that. But just to say, like, 839 00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:55,960 Speaker 1: people don't even investigate any further, the clickbait, the instant like, 840 00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:59,880 Speaker 1: oh shoot, what's happening here? But also people have discussions 841 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,080 Speaker 1: about covers without reading the article all the time, all 842 00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:03,600 Speaker 1: the time, So we can't say that you have to 843 00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:06,359 Speaker 1: read the article. If the cover made you feel a way, 844 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,320 Speaker 1: that's what the cover did. Like all covers are and 845 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:13,759 Speaker 1: are supposed to make you feel an emotion. So that's 846 00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,279 Speaker 1: why I was like, that's why I feel like when 847 00:44:16,280 --> 00:44:18,680 Speaker 1: you when I said in my sound bite, how you 848 00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:22,080 Speaker 1: feel about what you saw says more about you than 849 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:24,760 Speaker 1: it does about the people in the photo is because 850 00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:26,560 Speaker 1: then you have to start to take an inventory of 851 00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,120 Speaker 1: why did this cover make me feel this way? Because 852 00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:33,160 Speaker 1: essentially Rihanna in her season right where she is right now, 853 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:36,640 Speaker 1: could have done a cover alone. Yes, she didn't have 854 00:44:36,719 --> 00:44:38,919 Speaker 1: to include or you know, a SAP and the baby 855 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,520 Speaker 1: didn't have to be included in it. So it's like, 856 00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:42,640 Speaker 1: what would have made people feel better in that moment 857 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:45,080 Speaker 1: if it was Rihanna with ASAP next to her and 858 00:44:45,120 --> 00:44:48,160 Speaker 1: the baby on their lap. That's then now pushing the 859 00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:50,640 Speaker 1: narrative of the family. Right, it may have made the 860 00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:54,560 Speaker 1: cover more about the entire unit together, versus if the 861 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 1: cover that was already presented. So what what I've heard 862 00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:00,120 Speaker 1: listening to people and reading a bunch of commons, but 863 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:03,840 Speaker 1: also using the Waymaker cover or even Lebron and Savannah's 864 00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:09,399 Speaker 1: Vanity Fair cover. Right, right, Lebron was standing behind Savannah, Yes, right, 865 00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,480 Speaker 1: but he was still standing in the position of protection. Right, 866 00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:18,000 Speaker 1: Lebron wasn't smaller than Savannah. Grant, it's hard to make night, 867 00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,840 Speaker 1: but still he wasn't so far in the background that 868 00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,280 Speaker 1: he was smaller than Savannah, and Savannah was in the foreground. 869 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:27,960 Speaker 1: Lebron was directly behind Savannah in that moment. And say, 870 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:29,560 Speaker 1: for example, they had the child in that moment she 871 00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:31,880 Speaker 1: bows back, he could have been holding the child staring 872 00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:34,760 Speaker 1: directly into the camera, similar to the picture of Beyonce 873 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,080 Speaker 1: in the front. And then jay Z was behind Beyonce 874 00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:39,399 Speaker 1: like I got my eye on you, I always got 875 00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,720 Speaker 1: her back. She was still the centerpiece of the picture. 876 00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:43,960 Speaker 1: So I got so many different examples of what they 877 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:47,600 Speaker 1: could have done. But here's my thing. That photo was 878 00:45:47,640 --> 00:45:51,160 Speaker 1: about that moment. That moment was about coming back off 879 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:54,520 Speaker 1: retirement from five years of performance. That moment was about 880 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:57,759 Speaker 1: being a mom and having a support system in the 881 00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,759 Speaker 1: man who was Because there's another thing. There's also so 882 00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:06,400 Speaker 1: much that can be empowering about that, right. Imagine a 883 00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:10,719 Speaker 1: black man who has a child with a billionaire who 884 00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:14,799 Speaker 1: doesn't feel any type of way to be like, go, baby, shine, 885 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:17,640 Speaker 1: I got you. Go shine Like to me when I 886 00:46:17,640 --> 00:46:20,160 Speaker 1: saw it, that's that's what empowering. And then they're like, well, 887 00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:24,160 Speaker 1: he's being emasculated. He'd probably be like, who's emasculating me? 888 00:46:24,400 --> 00:46:27,799 Speaker 1: This was my fucking idea, you know what I'm saying, Like, 889 00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:30,759 Speaker 1: people can't emasculate you when you have a choice on 890 00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,080 Speaker 1: what gets presented. And that's another thing that I think 891 00:46:33,120 --> 00:46:36,520 Speaker 1: people need to realize. These covers don't just take pictures, 892 00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,719 Speaker 1: send you home, and then post a picture. Artists have 893 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:41,960 Speaker 1: the right to decide what's going to be the final 894 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,880 Speaker 1: edit of the picture posted. That is a fact. It 895 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:47,920 Speaker 1: is part of the contract. Artists get to decide that. 896 00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:51,640 Speaker 1: So the whole idea that he was emasculated to me 897 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:53,759 Speaker 1: is just asinine because he could have been like, yo, 898 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,320 Speaker 1: I don't like that picture, take me out, or I 899 00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:57,520 Speaker 1: don't have to be a part of it if you 900 00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,319 Speaker 1: want to do something with her, or let's choose a 901 00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:02,240 Speaker 1: different picture. He was a part of the decision making process, 902 00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:05,200 Speaker 1: which to me shows even more empowerment because he's not 903 00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,640 Speaker 1: afraid to say, baby go in the front. I got 904 00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:09,160 Speaker 1: you with the baby in the back. You know what 905 00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,120 Speaker 1: I'm saying. Yep. Deval and I had done a photo 906 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:15,040 Speaker 1: cover for another magazine a while back and they attempted 907 00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,440 Speaker 1: to put the cover out before we co signed on it. Yes, 908 00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:19,680 Speaker 1: and we pull that shit back and was like, absolutely 909 00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:21,480 Speaker 1: not because the val felt like I was standing there 910 00:47:21,480 --> 00:47:24,960 Speaker 1: looking like a mannequin and this was not It didn't 911 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:27,640 Speaker 1: reflect our love story. It didn't reflect what it was 912 00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:29,440 Speaker 1: supposed to reflect in that moment. So we were like, 913 00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,360 Speaker 1: you gotta pull that as a cover. That cannot be it. 914 00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:34,560 Speaker 1: Let's reassess that. Yes, you know. So these things did 915 00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:39,440 Speaker 1: not go to print without several different people checking several 916 00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:43,480 Speaker 1: different boxes. And if I, if I can imagine anything, 917 00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:46,319 Speaker 1: Rihanna is like as a businesswoman in that moment, and 918 00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:48,759 Speaker 1: it speaks to her being the billionaire that she is. 919 00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,400 Speaker 1: She's not gonna let them put anything out that she 920 00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:53,760 Speaker 1: does not agree on, not at all, and have herself 921 00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:55,880 Speaker 1: all up in that mix. She'd probably tell them to 922 00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:59,840 Speaker 1: go to hell firstly before they print something without her permit. 923 00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:03,880 Speaker 1: All right, y'all, we're gonna take a quick break and 924 00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:07,000 Speaker 1: we're gonna go into listener letters after we pay some bills, 925 00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:09,200 Speaker 1: and we're gonna come back and see what y'all have 926 00:48:09,239 --> 00:48:21,839 Speaker 1: to say this week. All right, jumping into listener letters, 927 00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:24,799 Speaker 1: Let's see what y'all got for us this week. We 928 00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:27,520 Speaker 1: got the first one. I'll just dive right in. Good afternoon, y'all. 929 00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:29,480 Speaker 1: How you know it's afternoon over here. First of all, 930 00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,040 Speaker 1: I just kidding, get after do y'all. Hope all as well. 931 00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,200 Speaker 1: I love what you too represent. Keep doing your thing. 932 00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:37,880 Speaker 1: Thank you. This may be lengthy. I'm sorry in advance, 933 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:43,200 Speaker 1: but a nigga is in down bad. Okay. I'm coming 934 00:48:43,239 --> 00:48:45,600 Speaker 1: to y'all because I don't know y'all personally. In fear 935 00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:49,719 Speaker 1: of being judged or joked on won't affect me. I've 936 00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,200 Speaker 1: been with my wife for six years, married for three. 937 00:48:52,560 --> 00:48:56,960 Speaker 1: I love porn like all porn, and that's capital like. 938 00:48:57,040 --> 00:48:59,840 Speaker 1: If I'm by myself, I can just sit and watch 939 00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:04,719 Speaker 1: this shit like it's TV without getting an erection. Smh. 940 00:49:04,760 --> 00:49:07,480 Speaker 1: Here's the thing. None of what I watched is a 941 00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:10,880 Speaker 1: reflection of what I want in my personal sex life. Also, 942 00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:13,600 Speaker 1: my wife knew I watched it, but didn't know how 943 00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:17,080 Speaker 1: deep it was until now. I just recently had surgery. 944 00:49:17,520 --> 00:49:19,960 Speaker 1: The first night post surgery, I'm in bed, grimacing and 945 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,360 Speaker 1: my wife is asking me certain questions to help me 946 00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:25,600 Speaker 1: get through it. For some reason, she decides to use 947 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:28,200 Speaker 1: my phone to look up certain things about pain I'm 948 00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:31,600 Speaker 1: experiencing and comes across my surch history, which at the 949 00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:37,320 Speaker 1: time had gay porn in it. I didn't even see 950 00:49:37,320 --> 00:49:40,440 Speaker 1: her using my phone smh. I don't hide or delete 951 00:49:40,480 --> 00:49:43,520 Speaker 1: nothing because I don't have anything to hide, well outside 952 00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:47,799 Speaker 1: of my Internet history that normally gets deleted asap. She 953 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:50,560 Speaker 1: then softly confronts me. I told her I think it's 954 00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:53,359 Speaker 1: an addiction and that I like and that it's been 955 00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:55,799 Speaker 1: like this way before she came into my life. I 956 00:49:55,840 --> 00:50:01,479 Speaker 1: continuously apologized, but she wanted to end our marriage. Y'all 957 00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:04,200 Speaker 1: may not believe me, but I know my wife doesn't 958 00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:07,600 Speaker 1: believe me. But I've never had any sexual encounters or 959 00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:11,400 Speaker 1: feelings for a man. No curiosity, no nothing. Maybe my 960 00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:17,439 Speaker 1: porn history negates that in most people's eyes. Maybe most 961 00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:20,000 Speaker 1: people will say I'm in denial, but it has never 962 00:50:20,080 --> 00:50:24,919 Speaker 1: left Safari and me personally. I'm not partaking in that. 963 00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:29,000 Speaker 1: My wife is a voluptuous sexy. She's voluptuously sexy, and 964 00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,799 Speaker 1: our sex is good when we have it, not as 965 00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:33,840 Speaker 1: freaky as it used to be, but it's good. We 966 00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:36,200 Speaker 1: have a one year old. I never cheated and do 967 00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:38,680 Speaker 1: not intend to. It's been a month and a half 968 00:50:38,719 --> 00:50:42,680 Speaker 1: and no intimacy has taken place since then. All other 969 00:50:42,760 --> 00:50:45,960 Speaker 1: husband and wifely duties are in full effect, though I 970 00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:48,959 Speaker 1: may have left some things out my bad, just trying 971 00:50:48,960 --> 00:50:51,040 Speaker 1: to paint the picture. But my question is what do 972 00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:53,400 Speaker 1: I do now? How do I get her to trust 973 00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:58,120 Speaker 1: me again, love me again, make love and fuck me again? 974 00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:02,600 Speaker 1: I need some help, y'all. Definitely grabbing the book to 975 00:51:02,760 --> 00:51:09,719 Speaker 1: stay up. Thanks for grabbing the book, bro. This is 976 00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:13,840 Speaker 1: what I will say. His wife is probably triggered because 977 00:51:14,080 --> 00:51:19,920 Speaker 1: every movie we see where a wife uncovers that her 978 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:23,560 Speaker 1: husband is gay typically starts with finding his poorn history, 979 00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:26,799 Speaker 1: and he watches gay porn, so in her mind, she's 980 00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:29,440 Speaker 1: probably thinking he's gay and don't want to tell me, 981 00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,360 Speaker 1: or he's gay and trying to hide it, and she 982 00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:35,440 Speaker 1: may be feeling like if he isn't has these urges, 983 00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:40,400 Speaker 1: or has he been truthful with her what he's partaken 984 00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:43,960 Speaker 1: in right, or just maybe also too so she's they 985 00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,040 Speaker 1: have a one year old, so I already know what 986 00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:49,560 Speaker 1: that's like postpartum life and you're thinking, oh, shoot, like 987 00:51:49,719 --> 00:51:51,600 Speaker 1: I just had this baby. My husband may not view 988 00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,480 Speaker 1: my body the same way, or he may not you know, 989 00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:56,759 Speaker 1: he may not be feeling me now because I just 990 00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,000 Speaker 1: had this baby and we're having this transitionary period and 991 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,400 Speaker 1: my body is going through all these things. You know 992 00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:05,560 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, has that pushed him into this arena? 993 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:10,160 Speaker 1: There can be a lot of things, but not knowing, 994 00:52:10,320 --> 00:52:15,399 Speaker 1: like watching someone's poorn history, in my opinion, tells you 995 00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,080 Speaker 1: what they're into and what they like. You see someone 996 00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:21,719 Speaker 1: liking to see two people engage in sexual activity and 997 00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:24,200 Speaker 1: you just watch it. Why do you watch it? If 998 00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:27,319 Speaker 1: you don't like it? I just don't understand, or it 999 00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:29,520 Speaker 1: could be curiosity. It could just be like, you know, well, 1000 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:33,520 Speaker 1: I've never seen this before or I've never understood it. 1001 00:52:33,680 --> 00:52:35,160 Speaker 1: Force let me see what it looks like, tell you 1002 00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:38,560 Speaker 1: something from a man's perspective, right when I'm watching from 1003 00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:41,560 Speaker 1: a heterosexual man, heterosexual man's perspecition, but even a man's perspective, 1004 00:52:41,600 --> 00:52:43,360 Speaker 1: because I've talked to my friends who are gay. The 1005 00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:45,640 Speaker 1: type of point they watch, Okay, the type of point 1006 00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:50,120 Speaker 1: you watch is typically indicative of the things you like, right, Like, 1007 00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:53,960 Speaker 1: I can't and this is this is no disrespect to 1008 00:52:54,680 --> 00:52:58,000 Speaker 1: um white poorn stars. I'm not racist, but I just 1009 00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:01,479 Speaker 1: don't get aroused by white point, right, So I don't. 1010 00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:03,360 Speaker 1: I don't just I don't watch white porn, you know 1011 00:53:03,360 --> 00:53:06,799 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. That's not my preference. So for me, 1012 00:53:06,840 --> 00:53:10,160 Speaker 1: I don't understand how you could just watch porn just 1013 00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,279 Speaker 1: to watch it. It's not like the storylines be great, 1014 00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,319 Speaker 1: like like like what are you what are you looking for? 1015 00:53:15,680 --> 00:53:18,120 Speaker 1: The cinematography is not what you know what I'm saying, 1016 00:53:18,120 --> 00:53:20,879 Speaker 1: it's like, I don't understand. But also I'm not going 1017 00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:23,800 Speaker 1: to judge him because there may be people who watch 1018 00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:26,040 Speaker 1: porn just to watch. I don't know. He said he 1019 00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:28,400 Speaker 1: watches it and doesn't get interaction. He just watches it 1020 00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:30,920 Speaker 1: like it's regular TV. Right. But also people say that 1021 00:53:30,960 --> 00:53:34,359 Speaker 1: when they try to hide things. You know what I'm saying, Like, like, 1022 00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:36,200 Speaker 1: we can't sit here and make it seem like, oh, 1023 00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:38,959 Speaker 1: it's just okay to just watch porn. No, I don't 1024 00:53:39,000 --> 00:53:40,799 Speaker 1: know anybody in my life who just will go in 1025 00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,560 Speaker 1: the room and watch porn for any other reason other 1026 00:53:43,560 --> 00:53:46,879 Speaker 1: than to just get in direction and jack off all 1027 00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:48,600 Speaker 1: my boys, did I talk to when they watch press? 1028 00:53:48,680 --> 00:53:50,919 Speaker 1: What they say? They watch some po when are spoking 1029 00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:54,280 Speaker 1: to say they use it to get stimulate, to stimulate 1030 00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:57,200 Speaker 1: the arousal process. Right, So if porn is utilized to 1031 00:53:57,239 --> 00:54:00,360 Speaker 1: stimulate the arousal process, and there's gay porn in your history, 1032 00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:03,480 Speaker 1: of course your wife is going to be suspicious about 1033 00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,479 Speaker 1: what your your true wants and desires are. Like, I don't. 1034 00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:08,760 Speaker 1: I don't blame her, you know what I'm saying. I don't. 1035 00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:11,560 Speaker 1: I don't blame anybody who finds out that way. Like, 1036 00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:13,680 Speaker 1: that's very difficult, And I'm gonna be honest with you, bro, 1037 00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:18,960 Speaker 1: I don't know how to get you to get your 1038 00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,839 Speaker 1: wife to understand where you're coming from because I don't know, 1039 00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:24,759 Speaker 1: Like I don't understand, Like yeah, and I'm not I'm 1040 00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:27,440 Speaker 1: not judging you because there's so many different lifestyles and 1041 00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:29,960 Speaker 1: things that I don't understand, but I wish I could 1042 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,200 Speaker 1: help you. What I will say is that you probably 1043 00:54:32,280 --> 00:54:36,920 Speaker 1: do need to have a lot of conversations. Um, it's 1044 00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:39,920 Speaker 1: going to be hard for her to believe, like and this, 1045 00:54:40,160 --> 00:54:41,920 Speaker 1: and he even said it. She's probably not going to 1046 00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:45,399 Speaker 1: believe what I have to say. But UM, how would 1047 00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:48,359 Speaker 1: you feel, just be honest, how would you feel if 1048 00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:50,760 Speaker 1: you look through my phone and then you just found 1049 00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,120 Speaker 1: a whole bunch of gay porn and then I told you, 1050 00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:55,759 Speaker 1: but but a babe, I've never done it. I just 1051 00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:58,279 Speaker 1: watch it. Would you believe I was telling the truth? 1052 00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:01,520 Speaker 1: Or would you be like, but I've known for twenty 1053 00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,400 Speaker 1: years the same person right now everything you know, the 1054 00:55:03,400 --> 00:55:05,080 Speaker 1: same person you know right now. I would think you 1055 00:55:05,120 --> 00:55:07,920 Speaker 1: were researching it for some reason, Like I would be like, 1056 00:55:08,160 --> 00:55:11,080 Speaker 1: maybe maybe something is going on where he's trying to 1057 00:55:11,120 --> 00:55:14,640 Speaker 1: get an understanding for something Like I wouldn't think that 1058 00:55:14,719 --> 00:55:17,279 Speaker 1: Devot is interested in men just knowing you and knowing 1059 00:55:17,320 --> 00:55:19,160 Speaker 1: who you are. I think they'd have to be some 1060 00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:21,560 Speaker 1: sort of reasons because you know me, because I know you. 1061 00:55:22,040 --> 00:55:24,840 Speaker 1: Nothing is too has there anything that has happened in 1062 00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:27,959 Speaker 1: the past and their relationship that would make her think like, aha, 1063 00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:30,719 Speaker 1: so that happened, that happened, that happened. I was kind 1064 00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:33,040 Speaker 1: of worried about this friend that he had, And then 1065 00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,160 Speaker 1: now I see your gay porn history and I'm like, oh, 1066 00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:39,840 Speaker 1: now I'm putting the dots together. It could be that too. 1067 00:55:39,920 --> 00:55:41,440 Speaker 1: This is also one thing I think you have to 1068 00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:46,000 Speaker 1: think about, right, women in general in general have been 1069 00:55:46,040 --> 00:55:51,319 Speaker 1: surprised by their men having sexual exploits with other men 1070 00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:54,440 Speaker 1: because it's not it's not appealing, it's not approved, Like 1071 00:55:54,480 --> 00:55:59,040 Speaker 1: society doesn't approve homosexuality all the time, right, So a 1072 00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:02,040 Speaker 1: lot of men are living double lives, and they've talked about, 1073 00:56:02,040 --> 00:56:03,719 Speaker 1: like the whole DL thing was a thing in the 1074 00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:06,400 Speaker 1: black community for a long time. So I think that 1075 00:56:06,440 --> 00:56:10,040 Speaker 1: it's a trigger for black women when they see something 1076 00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:13,000 Speaker 1: that may not be in alignment with the person at 1077 00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:17,400 Speaker 1: they're dating. The trigger is automatically, is this person hiding 1078 00:56:17,560 --> 00:56:20,919 Speaker 1: a part of himself that he doesn't feel comfortable being 1079 00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:24,280 Speaker 1: because society made it uncomfortable? And am I a victim 1080 00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,800 Speaker 1: of being tricked because this person can't live that life? 1081 00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,920 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Like, and it is a 1082 00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:33,240 Speaker 1: real thing, you know what I'm saying, And to be honest, 1083 00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:38,880 Speaker 1: this goes back to judging people for being different and 1084 00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:43,000 Speaker 1: then those people feeling shamed for having different thoughts. You 1085 00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:45,160 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, I wish we could get 1086 00:56:45,200 --> 00:56:48,360 Speaker 1: to a time where we allow people to be different 1087 00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,960 Speaker 1: and not try to convert everybody to be one thing, right, 1088 00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:54,200 Speaker 1: because when you do that and people feel different, they 1089 00:56:54,200 --> 00:56:56,319 Speaker 1: feel like they're going to be shamed. They hide it, 1090 00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:59,000 Speaker 1: and the last thing people want to do is be 1091 00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:02,120 Speaker 1: out it. You know. Um, It's no secret that I 1092 00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:05,600 Speaker 1: have friends who live different lifestyles and I asked them 1093 00:57:05,600 --> 00:57:07,520 Speaker 1: all the time, like, yo, you never felt comfortable just 1094 00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:09,520 Speaker 1: being yourself, Like why did you feel like you have 1095 00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,360 Speaker 1: to do? And they were just like I asked myself, 1096 00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,400 Speaker 1: was it safety? Did you feel like you were going 1097 00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:15,719 Speaker 1: to get beat up? And some of them is big dudes, 1098 00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:18,520 Speaker 1: like it's like, ain't nobody whipping my ass? Like I 1099 00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,160 Speaker 1: had one friend and let me tell you something, bro, 1100 00:57:20,240 --> 00:57:22,440 Speaker 1: it will take a lot of hetero sexual men to 1101 00:57:22,520 --> 00:57:25,440 Speaker 1: fuck me up. Like he's he's big, brawlic do but 1102 00:57:25,520 --> 00:57:28,600 Speaker 1: he was like it wasn't even that type of fear. 1103 00:57:29,160 --> 00:57:33,439 Speaker 1: It was just fear of being accepted. You know, just 1104 00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:36,320 Speaker 1: fear of just being able to walk down the street 1105 00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,520 Speaker 1: and not have a scarlet letter because you're just not 1106 00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:43,160 Speaker 1: like everybody else. And I think this woman when we 1107 00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:45,160 Speaker 1: didn't hear her perspective, but maybe in fear of that, 1108 00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:47,919 Speaker 1: Like was this man living a different life his whole time, 1109 00:57:48,520 --> 00:57:51,200 Speaker 1: trying to be something he's really not. So, brother, I'm 1110 00:57:51,240 --> 00:57:54,440 Speaker 1: gonna pray for the both of you. Yeah, let's keep 1111 00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,120 Speaker 1: having those conversations. Keep having those conversations. Try to try it. 1112 00:57:57,640 --> 00:58:00,080 Speaker 1: If you love your wife, give for a great and 1113 00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:03,080 Speaker 1: give her time because what she found out it is 1114 00:58:03,120 --> 00:58:07,160 Speaker 1: not easy to deal with, and especially at the time 1115 00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:08,880 Speaker 1: she's finding it out too. Like he said, they have 1116 00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:10,680 Speaker 1: a one year old. That's a good point. There's a 1117 00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:13,040 Speaker 1: lot of it's a good point. It will existing postpartum, 1118 00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,560 Speaker 1: you know, issues that could potentially be going on, you know, 1119 00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:18,520 Speaker 1: her just trying to feel like herself again too, and 1120 00:58:18,600 --> 00:58:21,000 Speaker 1: her feeling maybe not sexy, you're not attractive, Like those 1121 00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:22,720 Speaker 1: are things that we go through when you have a 1122 00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:25,040 Speaker 1: one year old, you know. So, um, just keep the 1123 00:58:25,040 --> 00:58:29,000 Speaker 1: conversations open and if you get a chance, write and 1124 00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:32,040 Speaker 1: explain to us, like why you just watch porn? I 1125 00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:34,560 Speaker 1: really want to know, like, right, not as a joke 1126 00:58:34,640 --> 00:58:36,640 Speaker 1: because he said he's not afraid of being a joke, 1127 00:58:36,680 --> 00:58:38,520 Speaker 1: but I really want to understand, like how you can 1128 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,920 Speaker 1: just turn on porn right not be aroused, because oh 1129 00:58:41,920 --> 00:58:45,400 Speaker 1: maybe it's because I'm an artist and to me, cinematics 1130 00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:47,880 Speaker 1: is like so important to me that I was like, 1131 00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:49,880 Speaker 1: I just can't watch porn just to watch it because 1132 00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:54,160 Speaker 1: the cinema photography is terrible, the storylines be terrible, and 1133 00:58:54,200 --> 00:58:56,160 Speaker 1: if it's not the type of women that I'm interested in, 1134 00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:58,200 Speaker 1: I can't watch it. You know what I'm saying. Porn 1135 00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:00,720 Speaker 1: also serves a purpose for you, right, Yeah, like it 1136 00:59:00,800 --> 00:59:03,960 Speaker 1: does for most people. For him, it may just be entertainer. 1137 00:59:03,960 --> 00:59:06,640 Speaker 1: It's like putting on Netflix. That's I just want to 1138 00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:10,160 Speaker 1: know why, because also I just don't watch porn, Like 1139 00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:11,680 Speaker 1: I'm just not, like I don't wake up and be 1140 00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:13,120 Speaker 1: liked in this Monday. What I'm gonna do? Man, Let 1141 00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:15,800 Speaker 1: me just go check and see what's happening, you know 1142 00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:17,120 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like that's just not part of my 1143 00:59:17,200 --> 00:59:20,000 Speaker 1: thought process, but that may be a whole society of 1144 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,520 Speaker 1: people and I'm not judging, but I just kind of 1145 00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:24,160 Speaker 1: want to know, like how you got to that point 1146 00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:27,200 Speaker 1: for sure, but thank you for writing in no doubt 1147 00:59:27,240 --> 00:59:29,240 Speaker 1: and thank you for getting the book. Appreciate you, yes, 1148 00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:32,360 Speaker 1: sir number two. Hello Cadina de Val. First off, I 1149 00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:33,960 Speaker 1: love you too and have been a fan of the 1150 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:36,360 Speaker 1: show for the past year. Thank you so much. I 1151 00:59:36,400 --> 00:59:38,400 Speaker 1: can't thank you enough for all the hard work you 1152 00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:41,720 Speaker 1: both do to bring quality and relevant topics to the 1153 00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:45,360 Speaker 1: podcast each week. We appreciate you that episode take a 1154 00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:48,000 Speaker 1: break before it's too late. Hit home for me. I'm 1155 00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:50,480 Speaker 1: a twenty eight year old black woman who currently is 1156 00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:55,320 Speaker 1: finishing up my eed S degree for Professional Counseling, working 1157 00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:58,760 Speaker 1: full time as a school counselor track coach, graduate assistant, 1158 00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:02,080 Speaker 1: Honor Society president, studying for my comps, and do other 1159 01:00:02,120 --> 01:00:05,080 Speaker 1: side hustle like pet sit house. Is she making money? 1160 01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:08,160 Speaker 1: Brave here, et cetera. To make extra money, I've got 1161 01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:10,000 Speaker 1: to be a Jamaican girl. You got mad jobs. I 1162 01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:12,600 Speaker 1: love it. I actually got sick the same day I 1163 01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:14,680 Speaker 1: listened to this show and have spent the last five 1164 01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:17,480 Speaker 1: days trying to recover. My question to you both is 1165 01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:19,960 Speaker 1: how do I find the drive to keep going to 1166 01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,640 Speaker 1: do all of these tasks? Ps. It's only for a 1167 01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:24,680 Speaker 1: short period of time. I graduating May and a lot 1168 01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:27,720 Speaker 1: of tasks will be off my plate come then. Any 1169 01:00:27,720 --> 01:00:32,440 Speaker 1: advice would help because a sister is Ti Tide Tide Tie. 1170 01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:34,919 Speaker 1: Thank you all for YouTube and what you do well. 1171 01:00:35,080 --> 01:00:36,840 Speaker 1: That was the answer to the questions. This the light 1172 01:00:36,960 --> 01:00:38,680 Speaker 1: is at the end of the tunnel. Maybe is about 1173 01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:40,720 Speaker 1: to be here before you know what you've been juggling 1174 01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:42,680 Speaker 1: all this time, and that I mean, look at that 1175 01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:46,800 Speaker 1: professional counselor degree counselor track coach. This that the third 1176 01:00:46,920 --> 01:00:50,240 Speaker 1: so many things listen. Sometimes it's the hustle period, yes, 1177 01:00:50,520 --> 01:00:53,000 Speaker 1: and this seems like exactly what you're in but it's 1178 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:54,760 Speaker 1: all for a good cause. I mean, once all these 1179 01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:56,520 Speaker 1: things are alleviated off of your plate, then you can 1180 01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:58,840 Speaker 1: really kind of reap the benefits and enjoy the hard work. 1181 01:00:59,080 --> 01:01:01,320 Speaker 1: So things are seasonal when it comes to, you know, 1182 01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:03,439 Speaker 1: trying to put in the work, putting your head down, 1183 01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:05,600 Speaker 1: just digging, digging, digging, and then you finally get to 1184 01:01:05,600 --> 01:01:06,919 Speaker 1: the end of that time and you're like, oh shit, 1185 01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:09,439 Speaker 1: that's what it was all for. And that team no sleep. 1186 01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:11,720 Speaker 1: I told y'all, I'm not subscribing to that no more. 1187 01:01:11,920 --> 01:01:14,600 Speaker 1: When you can't get y'all sleep, Get your sleep. Case 1188 01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:17,840 Speaker 1: team gets sleep. I am team. Get your sleep. It's 1189 01:01:17,920 --> 01:01:21,320 Speaker 1: better for everybody. It's better for you. Your body inflammation. 1190 01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:24,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm starting to get skinny out, y'all because 1191 01:01:24,000 --> 01:01:26,720 Speaker 1: I've been drinking my water, working out, and sleeping. Okay, 1192 01:01:27,200 --> 01:01:29,160 Speaker 1: so certain things are gonna learn. You're gonna have to learn. 1193 01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:32,960 Speaker 1: Have to wait for sure. I got nothing, You got nothing. 1194 01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:36,080 Speaker 1: Ll never shuts off. No, no, I'll never shut off, y'all. 1195 01:01:36,160 --> 01:01:38,160 Speaker 1: So he's gonna tell you to keep juggling, even if 1196 01:01:38,200 --> 01:01:40,520 Speaker 1: you don't need to juggle. No, I'm not gonna say that. 1197 01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:43,560 Speaker 1: What I'm saying is I got nothing because she actually 1198 01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:45,360 Speaker 1: trying to play me, and I was about to compliment 1199 01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:47,520 Speaker 1: her own. I'm not trying to play here. I'm just saying, 1200 01:01:47,600 --> 01:01:49,480 Speaker 1: my baby be working hard, y'all, and I'm the one 1201 01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:52,400 Speaker 1: that has to tell him chill out, chill out, all right, 1202 01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:54,160 Speaker 1: I just want to finish my thought. Let me Rihanna, 1203 01:01:54,160 --> 01:01:56,560 Speaker 1: you would take you away. They go get make a 1204 01:01:56,600 --> 01:01:59,280 Speaker 1: billion dollars drink. Gonna getting no argument from me. He's 1205 01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:02,600 Speaker 1: gonna be holding all. You make a billion dollars tomorrow. 1206 01:02:02,640 --> 01:02:05,160 Speaker 1: You ain't gonna hear a thing from me. One thing 1207 01:02:05,240 --> 01:02:07,040 Speaker 1: I do not care. This thing is like I got 1208 01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:08,800 Speaker 1: to be the only one making money. My wife made 1209 01:02:08,840 --> 01:02:12,360 Speaker 1: a billion dollars. Good shit, shit because some of the 1210 01:02:12,360 --> 01:02:14,160 Speaker 1: stuff that I be want to do, he got to stop. 1211 01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:16,040 Speaker 1: But I was gonna say I'm not gonna say nothing 1212 01:02:16,040 --> 01:02:18,040 Speaker 1: because I felt like your answer was great. I just 1213 01:02:18,160 --> 01:02:21,040 Speaker 1: felt you when you said, May is right around the corner. Literally, 1214 01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:22,680 Speaker 1: the light is there. You see the light keep going 1215 01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:26,320 Speaker 1: to us. Then yeah, that's it our girl. If you 1216 01:02:26,360 --> 01:02:29,200 Speaker 1: want to be featured as a listener, no, I lied, 1217 01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:32,320 Speaker 1: not a listener. If you want to be featured with 1218 01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:34,240 Speaker 1: one of the listener letters that you turn into us, 1219 01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:37,840 Speaker 1: email us at dead ass Advice at gmail dot com. Fact, 1220 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:40,520 Speaker 1: that's d E A d as A d V I 1221 01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:43,400 Speaker 1: C E at gmail dot com. And I love that 1222 01:02:43,560 --> 01:02:46,120 Speaker 1: you know, men and women, all walks of life, everyone 1223 01:02:46,200 --> 01:02:48,560 Speaker 1: writes it about something. I love that y'all feel comfortable 1224 01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:50,200 Speaker 1: that this is a safe space that you can write 1225 01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:53,280 Speaker 1: into us, like, let's keep that going. I enjoy that 1226 01:02:53,640 --> 01:02:57,800 Speaker 1: joy and I feel honored, So thank y'all. All Right, 1227 01:02:57,920 --> 01:03:01,720 Speaker 1: moment of truth. We're talking email asculation of the black male. 1228 01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:06,880 Speaker 1: We're talking covers of magazines. We're talking positions of men 1229 01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:10,520 Speaker 1: and women, which your final words for the people today, 1230 01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:12,760 Speaker 1: moment of truth. Here's my moment of truth. Right when 1231 01:03:12,800 --> 01:03:15,520 Speaker 1: we look at Hollywood and we look at for example, 1232 01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:17,800 Speaker 1: black black men and have Warren dresses and all this 1233 01:03:17,880 --> 01:03:19,720 Speaker 1: other stuff. First thing is, black men are not the 1234 01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:23,520 Speaker 1: only one in more dresses. Menstrel shows existed long before 1235 01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:25,960 Speaker 1: black people were even allowed to be a part of 1236 01:03:26,040 --> 01:03:29,280 Speaker 1: the theater. And menstrual shows were white men who wore dresses, 1237 01:03:29,320 --> 01:03:31,439 Speaker 1: who made fun of white women and dressed up as women. 1238 01:03:31,520 --> 01:03:34,080 Speaker 1: So that's my first thing, Like, this is not menstrual 1239 01:03:34,120 --> 01:03:37,280 Speaker 1: shows and black men dressing up in dresses is not 1240 01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:41,240 Speaker 1: a new thing. So we can dispel that. Right many 1241 01:03:41,280 --> 01:03:44,000 Speaker 1: black men that dress up there have been white men. No, no, no, no, no, 1242 01:03:44,120 --> 01:03:47,160 Speaker 1: not only that as many black men. Yes, absolutely, Like 1243 01:03:47,680 --> 01:03:50,920 Speaker 1: one of our most revered artists of all time, Robin Williams, 1244 01:03:51,000 --> 01:03:54,600 Speaker 1: was Missus Doubtfire, which is one of people's favorite movies, 1245 01:03:54,840 --> 01:03:57,439 Speaker 1: and he dressed up for a purpose, and not one 1246 01:03:57,720 --> 01:04:00,200 Speaker 1: person said Robin Williams is less of a man because 1247 01:04:00,240 --> 01:04:03,080 Speaker 1: he dressed up as Missus Doutfire. I wonder because of 1248 01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:04,440 Speaker 1: the role he had though, because he was trying to 1249 01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:07,000 Speaker 1: see his kids, and then people were like, oh, well, 1250 01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:10,360 Speaker 1: black people still got on Martin for dressing up his 1251 01:04:10,440 --> 01:04:12,760 Speaker 1: big mama. And he was a black man dressing up 1252 01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:15,240 Speaker 1: to save the day, and he dressed up his big mama. 1253 01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:16,920 Speaker 1: So I don't I don't think it's that. I think 1254 01:04:16,960 --> 01:04:20,720 Speaker 1: it's just that sometimes the imagery, the imagery, and people's 1255 01:04:20,840 --> 01:04:25,439 Speaker 1: own interpretations of what will not own interpretations. People's own 1256 01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:30,200 Speaker 1: experiences in life are trigger them when they see other things, 1257 01:04:30,520 --> 01:04:34,080 Speaker 1: and they tend to project what their triggers are onto 1258 01:04:34,200 --> 01:04:36,560 Speaker 1: other people. And I want to say that about Rihanna 1259 01:04:36,640 --> 01:04:40,800 Speaker 1: and Asap and also Jonathan Majors, Like, let's not forget 1260 01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:43,760 Speaker 1: about the moment. The picture is only a moment. Let's 1261 01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:47,640 Speaker 1: stop taking a moment and making it be the epicenter 1262 01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:50,520 Speaker 1: or the epitome of what they are supposed to represent. 1263 01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:54,640 Speaker 1: You know, Let's stop putting the representation of black family 1264 01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:58,000 Speaker 1: solely on Rihanna, Asap and their child. Let's not put 1265 01:04:58,120 --> 01:05:01,400 Speaker 1: the representation of what black manhood is supposed to be 1266 01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:04,880 Speaker 1: on Jonathan Major's in that moment. Right. If we're going 1267 01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:07,280 Speaker 1: to look at Jonathan Major's, let's look at all his 1268 01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:10,800 Speaker 1: work in totality. This is one picture where he has 1269 01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:14,520 Speaker 1: years of hyper masculine work. Right, Let's look at Rhan 1270 01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:16,840 Speaker 1: and Asap. Let's not just look at the picture, Let's 1271 01:05:16,840 --> 01:05:19,680 Speaker 1: look at the years of everything that they've done. Right, 1272 01:05:19,760 --> 01:05:21,680 Speaker 1: So that would be my moment of truth is to 1273 01:05:22,680 --> 01:05:25,800 Speaker 1: understand that the picture says a thousand words, but it 1274 01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:29,560 Speaker 1: only says a thousand words about the moment. Stole your line, 1275 01:05:29,720 --> 01:05:32,640 Speaker 1: stole my line, Get out of my head, Get out 1276 01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:34,400 Speaker 1: of my head, Out of my head. But no, my 1277 01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:36,640 Speaker 1: moment of truth was going to be that a picture 1278 01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:39,600 Speaker 1: is worth a thousand words. Your words are not full 1279 01:05:39,680 --> 01:05:44,560 Speaker 1: thousand words. I like it, Your words maybe twenty thirty. 1280 01:05:45,040 --> 01:05:46,640 Speaker 1: How much do they allow you to put on Twitter? 1281 01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:50,600 Speaker 1: How many characters two hundred and forty out of a 1282 01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:54,880 Speaker 1: thousand works? There's so many different takeaways and perspectives. Art 1283 01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:58,520 Speaker 1: is subjective for a reason. It's supposed to evoke conversation. 1284 01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:01,160 Speaker 1: It's supposed to make you feel something, and if it 1285 01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:03,840 Speaker 1: doesn't make you feel something, it probably was not successful 1286 01:06:03,880 --> 01:06:06,320 Speaker 1: as an art piece. Take it for what it is, y'all. 1287 01:06:07,080 --> 01:06:10,560 Speaker 1: It's exhausting. And lastly, you have a choice not to 1288 01:06:10,680 --> 01:06:13,280 Speaker 1: support it if you don't like it, keep it moving, 1289 01:06:13,520 --> 01:06:18,880 Speaker 1: scroll past, scroll pass. Not everything requires a dissertation, y'all. Absolutely, Jesus, 1290 01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:25,760 Speaker 1: Absolutely Jesus. And I'm sure Rihanna asap Jonathan Majes they're 1291 01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:29,440 Speaker 1: gonna be just fine facts living their life, solivea life. 1292 01:06:29,520 --> 01:06:33,360 Speaker 1: I would be fine. You say it, can't say that 1293 01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:36,520 Speaker 1: they chasing their paper, chase yours and mind got damn 1294 01:06:36,560 --> 01:06:38,720 Speaker 1: business sometimes. But speaking of which, you said you was 1295 01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:40,560 Speaker 1: gonna try to be a billionaire. When you're gonna start that, 1296 01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:44,880 Speaker 1: because baby, I'm tired, I'm putting the wheels in motion, 1297 01:06:46,800 --> 01:06:49,800 Speaker 1: all right, y'all. Be sure to find us on Patreon. 1298 01:06:50,200 --> 01:06:51,920 Speaker 1: I want to know how many people have subscribed to 1299 01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:55,840 Speaker 1: that yet, because you know why. We have exclusive Deadass 1300 01:06:55,880 --> 01:06:59,919 Speaker 1: podcast video content, live shows coming up this season. Yes, yeah, 1301 01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:02,120 Speaker 1: mar tour all that good stuff. So be sure to 1302 01:07:02,160 --> 01:07:04,360 Speaker 1: be on Patreon and find us on social media. You 1303 01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:07,160 Speaker 1: can find our Instagram page dead Ass the podcast. You 1304 01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:10,520 Speaker 1: can find Mekdeen I am on Instagram and TikTok and 1305 01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:12,800 Speaker 1: I am devout. And if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, 1306 01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:17,280 Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review, and subscribe dead Ass, y'all. 1307 01:07:18,560 --> 01:07:21,640 Speaker 1: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and 1308 01:07:21,760 --> 01:07:25,200 Speaker 1: is produced by the Norapinia and Triple. Follow the podcast 1309 01:07:25,320 --> 01:07:27,880 Speaker 1: on social media at dead Ass, to Podcasts and Never 1310 01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:28,480 Speaker 1: miss a Thing.