1 00:00:00,920 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,800 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing position and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,600 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode fifty three. Today we'll 11 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:41,199 Speaker 1: be talking with Sarah Baldwin, who is a college administrator. 12 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,440 Speaker 1: She's a dean of student life at a small private arts, 13 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: private liberal arts college. She is also a mom of three, 14 00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: including an older child and two youngers, one of whom 15 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: has down syndromes. We're going to be having a great 16 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: discussion on special needs parenting and what she's learned from that. 17 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,920 Speaker 1: Both of us, Sarah and I got chills as we 18 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: were having that discussion, so I know you are really 19 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: going to look forward to that one. So, yeah, how's 20 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:11,200 Speaker 1: everything going for you, Sarah? It's pretty good. So as 21 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: we record this. It's mid July, and I think our 22 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,640 Speaker 1: listeners are going to start to figure out that we 23 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,839 Speaker 1: do tend to batch these sometimes, as I think many 24 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: podcasters do. Yes, So I would say, I am, I am, like, 25 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,120 Speaker 1: you know, Genevieve's turning seven months tomorrow, and I'm starting 26 00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:30,760 Speaker 1: to crawl out of that like baby hole, you know, 27 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 1: like I actually want to go out and do things. 28 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 1: I've been comfortable doing date nights recently without freaking out 29 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: about her. You know, heaven'st Betsy getting a bottle at 30 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:46,039 Speaker 1: night and pumping later. So yeah, it's been, it's been. 31 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 1: It's been pretty good. Have you guys been. We've actually 32 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: had a couple of really nice date nights and we 33 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: have one with my parents this weekend. Actually, we're in town. 34 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: Oh it's cool. Are you guys doing we think fun recently? Yeah, well, 35 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: we just got back from a week at the Jersey Shore. 36 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 1: We rented a house and our nanny came along with 37 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,400 Speaker 1: us for much of it, so that had some elements 38 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 1: of relaxation that would have been absent without that. And 39 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: my husband and I went out for dinner twice, once 40 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,799 Speaker 1: just to a restaurant in town, and then the second time. 41 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: We went to a beer garden in Asbury Park. I 42 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,079 Speaker 1: had seen it and wanted to go there. That was 43 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:25,799 Speaker 1: kind of fun. The being there itself was whatever. The 44 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: service was very slow, that give us plenty of time 45 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: to enjoy our beers up on the roof deck. But 46 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:32,680 Speaker 1: it was cool that we watch the sunset and you 47 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 1: can see the ocean and enjoy large German beer Stein 48 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: type experience. That lovely. Yeah, it was actually on my 49 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: list of things to do, my summer fun list. I 50 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: make these, you know, summer fund lists every year, things 51 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:49,799 Speaker 1: I want to do before the end of summer, and 52 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:51,200 Speaker 1: I had sort of forgotten that go to a beer 53 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,679 Speaker 1: garden was actually on that. I sort of thought we 54 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 1: would do that in Philadelphia somewhere, but then we did 55 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 1: it while we were on the Jersey Shore and it 56 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,120 Speaker 1: was great. So can check that off the list. I'm 57 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: making good progress on my summer fun list, So that's good. 58 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, do you you're the date night planner? Yes? 59 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 1: And well, you know your beer story reminded me that 60 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,239 Speaker 1: I was invited to a beer crawl with one of 61 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: my friends and I was like, how late's this is 62 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: gonna go? You need the bear crawl that starts at 63 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: four pm, I know literally or maybe at like seven 64 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: to ten. I could probably handle no. But yeah, so 65 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 1: I'm not quite at that point where I'm ready for that, 66 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,400 Speaker 1: but I look forward to it. Yeah, I'm kind of 67 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: like the social coordinator, and we've kind of touched on that. 68 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: But I will say for me, it's it's for two reasons. 69 00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:39,080 Speaker 1: Number One, because I tend to have more time to 70 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,160 Speaker 1: do well. Three, I have more time to do the planning. 71 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: I have more inclination to do the planning. And I'm 72 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 1: definitely the one that prefers to go out and do 73 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: things socially more so if I left it to Josh, 74 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: I don't think we would do very much. So I 75 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: don't mind kind of taking that on. What about you guys, Yeah, 76 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: I know I tend to be more of the planner 77 00:03:58,480 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: for this sort of thing, although when we do stuff 78 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,960 Speaker 1: with other couples, often he is more taking the lead, 79 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: just because he's more extroverted than I am, but it 80 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:11,440 Speaker 1: just doesn't I'm definitely more of the planner and I once, 81 00:04:11,760 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: you know, was getting miffed about this and I was like, well, 82 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 1: I'm just not going to plan any date nights until 83 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 1: he gets around to doing it, and I think like 84 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,520 Speaker 1: three months later, I was like, yeah, it's gonna happen. 85 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:22,560 Speaker 1: Doesn't have any date nights any And I was like, 86 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:26,920 Speaker 1: wait a minute, this isn't you know us, But I've 87 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 1: sort of what we wind up doing that with calendar 88 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 1: meetings that we have occasionally, like almost always when we 89 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,800 Speaker 1: have a calendar meeting, we decide to do one and 90 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,320 Speaker 1: so then you know, we figure out when it's going 91 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:41,360 Speaker 1: to happen, what we're going to do, and so it's 92 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: more of just a joint discussion as opposed to me 93 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,600 Speaker 1: planning it trying to get it on both our calendars, 94 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,920 Speaker 1: which that I just find that, like I feel resentful 95 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: about it, like why is this my job? So you know, 96 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,520 Speaker 1: making it part of the calendar meeting tends to make 97 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: it more feel like go back and forth as as 98 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,840 Speaker 1: opposed to would you say you make it on a 99 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,200 Speaker 1: date night monthly or do you have like yeah, I 100 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 1: would say we probably do something at least once a month, 101 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: which I might prefer more. But you know, then again 102 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 1: I'm I'm the person who's working at home, so it's 103 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,160 Speaker 1: like I feel like I'd like to get out sometimes. Right, 104 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: He's traveling and he wants a home restaurants, not wanting 105 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,680 Speaker 1: to be for the last three nights, you know, and 106 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 1: so the idea of going out to eat is probably 107 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 1: a slightly less exciting interesting I would say we aim 108 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: for like one solo date night with just us and 109 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 1: one like friend thing. Yeah, a month, and that's about right. Well, 110 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: interestingly enough, when we do the friend stuff, we often 111 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: go to Talula's, which is where you and I went. Oh, 112 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: and I hope we can go again because I love 113 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,839 Speaker 1: that place. Oh well, it will have to do it. Okay, 114 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,520 Speaker 1: we'll have a joint date night or something, or maybe 115 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 1: in Miami. I'm still thinking we'll get there at some point. Yes, 116 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,719 Speaker 1: you should come. But yeah, we'll have some live episodes 117 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,400 Speaker 1: coming up. Everyone, it's right, we'll do that all right. 118 00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: On to the main segment. So Sarah, we are like 119 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,799 Speaker 1: to have another Sarah on this on this program, Sarah Baldwin. 120 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,600 Speaker 1: I guess i'll have to use last names if I 121 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:04,039 Speaker 1: distinguish between the two of you. Can you go ahead 122 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 1: and introduce yourself for our listeners? Yeah, Laura and Sarah, 123 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 1: thanks so much for having me. I've been really looking 124 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 1: forward to it. I'm a huge fan of your podcast 125 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 1: and load of your books, and this is really a 126 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: great opportunity for me. So my name is Sarah Baldwin, 127 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: as you said, Laura, and I'm a vice president of 128 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:24,679 Speaker 1: student affairs at a small private college. So that means 129 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,480 Speaker 1: that I'm one of the university's executive officers, a report 130 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,160 Speaker 1: to the president, serve on the cabinet, and have some 131 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: responsibility in the oversight of the university. And then I 132 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,640 Speaker 1: am responsible for everything that has to do with students 133 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: outside of the classroom, so health services and counseling and 134 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,239 Speaker 1: student conduct and spiritual life and career development, leadership training, 135 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,720 Speaker 1: student activities and our cultural affairs, student crisis and all 136 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: that stuff. That's kind of a lot. So I am 137 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 1: married to Clint. We've been married for twenty four years. Wow, 138 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 1: it's a lot. And we have three children. We have 139 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: an eighteen year old who's a junior in college, and 140 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:07,279 Speaker 1: then we have this really crazy transition and we have 141 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,640 Speaker 1: a five and a half year old boy and a 142 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: twenty month old who has down syndrome and epilepsy. So 143 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: I've entered the world of special needs parenting and I 144 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,040 Speaker 1: kind of call that like this is my capstone course. 145 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,560 Speaker 1: In motherhood. So I'm doing it all right, I've got 146 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: like the college and the little ones, and you are 147 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:29,320 Speaker 1: totally doing it all. And actually we've been looking for 148 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,640 Speaker 1: a guest that can take us into what it would 149 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:33,920 Speaker 1: be like, number one, to deal with kids in two 150 00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 1: completely separate worlds and to discuss the whole special needs aspects. 151 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: So you are perfect well, yeah, no the parenting pro here, 152 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 1: because I mean, what do you think is has anything 153 00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: really changed between you know, the first time around and 154 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,000 Speaker 1: the second time did you feel like you were really 155 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:51,920 Speaker 1: rusty or you could get right back into it? I 156 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 1: mean between you know, the eighteen year old, five year 157 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: old five year old? Yeah, that's a great question. You 158 00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,760 Speaker 1: know there was there has been a lot of changes, 159 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: like even a change a simple as when my daughter 160 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:05,400 Speaker 1: Mattie was born, it was all about sleeping on the side, 161 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: do you all and you I don't even remember this, 162 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,040 Speaker 1: but they had like these little side wedges you could 163 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: put in their cribs so the would sleep on their side. 164 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: And then of course when my son was born, you know, 165 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: it was all about sleeping on the back and the 166 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,480 Speaker 1: whole like you know, swaddling thing has been such a 167 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 1: big deal, so like that transition has been different. And 168 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 1: then all of the organic food stuff and like making 169 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 1: your own baby food and all the you know, got 170 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: to do all of those things in that specific way 171 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,440 Speaker 1: or you can. You know, that's just a thing, and 172 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:40,880 Speaker 1: I do think a lot of it. For me, the 173 00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:44,920 Speaker 1: transition has been internal and who I am now versus 174 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 1: you know, who I was with a toddler at twenty eight, 175 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 1: and like that's almost twenty years ago. And so when 176 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: I was starting this, I've been a working mom for 177 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:58,480 Speaker 1: eighteen years, so I've done it the whole time. And 178 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:01,560 Speaker 1: I was starting this journey as a mom, I didn't 179 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,800 Speaker 1: have as many role models as I do now, and 180 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,320 Speaker 1: I didn't have as many other friends who were choosing 181 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,600 Speaker 1: this role. I felt like more of an outlier. So 182 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: that's changed. That's changed in my community and in my experience. 183 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: So who I am has changed too, and just how 184 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,720 Speaker 1: I think about parenting and motherhood and think about work. 185 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 1: So a lot of it's happened internal. Anything you would 186 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:28,320 Speaker 1: like advice from you know, now seasoned mother Sarah to 187 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 1: give to newbie mom Sarah when she was twenty eight, 188 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,040 Speaker 1: I mean, what would you have dot? Yeah, I was 189 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:38,120 Speaker 1: thinking about this you know, a twenty eight year old 190 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 1: Sarah mom. I wish I could have really breathed in 191 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:47,040 Speaker 1: some real grace into her, because I was really working 192 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,040 Speaker 1: it out, like I was working out my mom guilt. 193 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,559 Speaker 1: I know you all talk about that. I was working 194 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:53,360 Speaker 1: out my identity as a woman and a mother and 195 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: trying to understand this cultural myth of the ideal mom, 196 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: and trying to be who I felt like I was 197 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: called to be in the way I wanted to contribute. 198 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,600 Speaker 1: And so I think what I would say to myself 199 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:09,520 Speaker 1: is I would say, Sarah, you can have meaningful work 200 00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 1: and have meaningful relationships with your kids. You can do 201 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:15,880 Speaker 1: this like it's very possible, and your kids can thrive 202 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: and you can thrive, and it's not an either or conversation. 203 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 1: So I knew that kind of intrinsically when I was young, 204 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,520 Speaker 1: but I've really had to I've really owned it and 205 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,800 Speaker 1: lived into it. So I think I would wish I 206 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 1: could just pour grace onto her and just say, relax, relax, 207 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,000 Speaker 1: try so hard to get it all right. Relax. Well 208 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 1: that's that, you know when you mentioned the fads changing about, 209 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,040 Speaker 1: you know, now people are making their own food, which 210 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 1: I'm guilty for that, although we're already getting lazy anyway, 211 00:10:45,400 --> 00:10:49,040 Speaker 1: and the different sleep positions. I guess like for me, 212 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:50,599 Speaker 1: when you said that, it would made me think, like 213 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: maybe she has perspective that like there is not necessarily 214 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:56,360 Speaker 1: this end, I'll be all right way to do everything 215 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,199 Speaker 1: because you have this incredible perspective that most of us 216 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:02,040 Speaker 1: don't where you're like it was all different before, and 217 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:07,320 Speaker 1: we thought we were right back then. So absolutely, And 218 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: one of the great gifts about being a mom of 219 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,720 Speaker 1: new little kids in my forties. So I had my 220 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,640 Speaker 1: son Kai at forty and my daughter Emily at forty four, 221 00:11:15,720 --> 00:11:18,400 Speaker 1: so I'm I'm living it. I'm living large right now. 222 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 1: So one of the great gifts about this time in 223 00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 1: my life is that since my peers are not raising 224 00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 1: little kids, the pressure of trying to do this like 225 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 1: competitive motherhood is just off. So I remember that vaguely, 226 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,839 Speaker 1: like back there, like where I would go places with 227 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,760 Speaker 1: my friends and their kids, it was all like are 228 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,640 Speaker 1: you going to discipline this way or that way? Are 229 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,360 Speaker 1: you going to let your kids eat this or that 230 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: or watch this or that, and all that constant pressure 231 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,160 Speaker 1: of how everyone was doing it. And now I don't 232 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 1: think I really care anymore, but that four we care 233 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 1: about a lot less. So yeah, so I do love that, 234 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 1: like the freedom at this place to be like, Okay, 235 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 1: I've heard cry it out, I've heard not cried out. 236 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 1: I've heard. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone has a 237 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,760 Speaker 1: study to back up an opinion, and a lot of 238 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:10,560 Speaker 1: it really comes down to your personality and really your 239 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 1: family culture, and that's what's going to drive most of 240 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 1: your decisions. So yeah, yeah, well pivoting a little bit 241 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 1: from that, I mean, obviously you know, family culture and 242 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 1: other things like that. So you had a daughter, you said, 243 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:27,800 Speaker 1: twenty months ago, who has Down syndrome. Can you talk 244 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: our listeners through a little bit about what that you know, 245 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 1: actually entails and most people aren't even know familiar with 246 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:38,560 Speaker 1: it beyond the obvious external you know, manifestations of that condition. 247 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,840 Speaker 1: Can you just talk a little bit about that journey 248 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:43,199 Speaker 1: and like when you found out and what it's involved 249 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 1: and how you've gone through that. Oh yeah, well, So 250 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: when I was newly pregnant with Emily, my midwife said, well, hey, 251 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,760 Speaker 1: would you like to do this cool ten week test 252 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 1: and you can find out the gender. I was like, 253 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:59,839 Speaker 1: gender it ten weeks this is awesome. So yeah, And 254 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 1: when she called me back with that tess, she said, 255 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,959 Speaker 1: this is not a definitive, a final diagnosis, but it 256 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,840 Speaker 1: looks like she's a girl and she has Down syndrome. 257 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:14,640 Speaker 1: And truly, at that point, if I had to go 258 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:19,240 Speaker 1: back to that two summers ago when that, I really 259 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,520 Speaker 1: responded with a lot of fear. I really responded with fear. 260 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 1: I didn't at that point. I don't think I'd ever 261 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,800 Speaker 1: talked with a mom of someone with Down syndrome. I 262 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,920 Speaker 1: had never really had a conversation with someone with Down syndrome. 263 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 1: I can't believe that now thinking of how many people 264 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 1: I know in the Down syndrome community already. So it 265 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 1: took me a little bit to adjust. I mean, I probably, 266 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 1: you know, the first part of the pregnancy to really 267 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:50,959 Speaker 1: contemplate this, and I was afraid. I mostly was afraid. 268 00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,719 Speaker 1: I didn't know what to expect. And I wish I 269 00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: could say to my pregnant self, now, like you have 270 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,880 Speaker 1: you have no idea about the joy an abundancy that's 271 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,240 Speaker 1: about to show up in your life. But at that 272 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: point I felt a lot of anxiety and I was unsure, 273 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,920 Speaker 1: like how to communicate, and all of these things. So 274 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 1: I learned a lot about Down syndrome. I mean, it's 275 00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 1: simply having three copies of the twenty first chromosome, and 276 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:23,560 Speaker 1: it affects every cell of a human's body, so it 277 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 1: is throughout. You don't have like a little bit of 278 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,960 Speaker 1: Down syndrome or a lot of Down syndrome. You have 279 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,320 Speaker 1: Down syndrome or you don't, and it has It can 280 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,320 Speaker 1: have all kinds of implications. It can have a lot 281 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 1: of health implications like heart defect or eye issues or 282 00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:44,520 Speaker 1: abdominal issues. It can have implications. Almost everybody with Down 283 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,280 Speaker 1: syndrome has some sort of cognitive impairment, so it has 284 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 1: implications in that way. But we didn't really know what 285 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,760 Speaker 1: it would look like for Emily, and so when she 286 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 1: was born, we knew at birth that yes, she did 287 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 1: for sure have Down syndrome. And then everything changed really dramatically, 288 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:08,200 Speaker 1: because all of a sudden, this little person goes from 289 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 1: some unknown this diagnosis to like this little human being 290 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 1: who's darling and beautiful and yours and your her baby, 291 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:22,800 Speaker 1: your perfect baby, is like huge one sixty and in 292 00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 1: my heart, although a lot of that had been settled 293 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:27,920 Speaker 1: for me, I think holding her just changed it all 294 00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: and we've had we had a really challenging first year 295 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:36,800 Speaker 1: of life. She was also diagnosed with epilepsy, and she 296 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 1: was diagnosed with this kind of epilepsy that is called 297 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 1: infantile spasms, which is a catastrophe alorm that's actually and 298 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:47,320 Speaker 1: for our listeners, medically, I will chime in and say, 299 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: I don't think that's a typical feature of dice. It's 300 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 1: not my knowledge. No, Down syndrome can be a trigger 301 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,000 Speaker 1: for it, but it's a very small percentage. Yeah, that's 302 00:15:57,040 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 1: so tough. It was, really it was. We were in it. 303 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: But she's doing great. She received the kind of treatment 304 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:08,800 Speaker 1: that she needed and so that epilepsy has resolved and 305 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:13,120 Speaker 1: her neurologist has said she's out of the woods for 306 00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,600 Speaker 1: that and she's doing really phenomenally. So we're kind of 307 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 1: on the other side of what was a massive crisis 308 00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: last summer and kind of settling into this life together. 309 00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 1: And you know, I think what I would say is 310 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 1: that I don't really even think very much about Emily 311 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 1: having Down syndrome. I mean, she really is just simply 312 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:37,600 Speaker 1: part of our family and brings us a lot of 313 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:41,400 Speaker 1: joy and abundancy. Like she's just a Darling completion to 314 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:47,240 Speaker 1: our family. So it has radically shifted my heart and understanding. 315 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:48,960 Speaker 1: I think that that was a lot of it was 316 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 1: just having relationship and experience. Yeah, but I'm curious if 317 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,640 Speaker 1: there are sort of things that would be, you know, 318 00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:01,120 Speaker 1: an added layer of complexity beyond what you know a 319 00:17:01,360 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 1: child without down tundra, like, for instance, choosing childcare. There's 320 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 1: probably some childcare providers who are better at this sort 321 00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:12,160 Speaker 1: of thing than others, or there may be more specialist 322 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,560 Speaker 1: appointments that you and your husband are trying to get to, 323 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,720 Speaker 1: for instance. So I wondered if you could talk a 324 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,800 Speaker 1: little bit about that aspect of it. Yeah, and as 325 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,640 Speaker 1: someone who's working like a big job, how did those 326 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 1: two interplay? And I guess I would love to know 327 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 1: specifically if there were things you were you able to 328 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,120 Speaker 1: sift through and decide what you wanted to be there 329 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 1: for and what you didn't need to be there for. 330 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,720 Speaker 1: So tell us all about that. Yeah. Well, I can 331 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,879 Speaker 1: say right now, when we're not in crisis, we're in 332 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:41,000 Speaker 1: stability management. Things are going great. However, it has brought 333 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 1: into our life a whole slew of therapies and I 334 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:46,320 Speaker 1: had no idea how much therapies would become part of 335 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:51,959 Speaker 1: our life. So Emily does have three therapists and she 336 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 1: sees them either once a week or all three a week. 337 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 1: It kind of alternates. And right now through age three, 338 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 1: almost every state has a program where they come to 339 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:05,560 Speaker 1: your home or to wherever the child is, so that 340 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: is really obviously logistically very helpful. So we have a nanny, 341 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,159 Speaker 1: or when she was smaller, my parents were doing a 342 00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,960 Speaker 1: lot of her childcare, but right now we have a nanny, 343 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,960 Speaker 1: and so the therapist comes. They come to our home 344 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,280 Speaker 1: and do her therapies, and my goal is to be 345 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:26,399 Speaker 1: there for like every third therapy. So I try to 346 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,359 Speaker 1: be there and work my work schedule so that I 347 00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,320 Speaker 1: can connect and talk to the physical therapist and talk 348 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:34,959 Speaker 1: about what our goals are. When I'm not there, they 349 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,240 Speaker 1: often will text me like, here's the update, here's what 350 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 1: we're working on. So I have our homework plan, like 351 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,679 Speaker 1: this is what we're working on with Emily, and I 352 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,760 Speaker 1: write it on a whiteboard in our house. Everyone can 353 00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,640 Speaker 1: see it. Here's our goals with Emily. Because at twenty months, 354 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,400 Speaker 1: for instance, she's not walking yet, and so like that's 355 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,280 Speaker 1: a big goal for us. Is like she's starting to cruise, 356 00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,600 Speaker 1: so what's the next step to help her move from 357 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:57,760 Speaker 1: cruising along the couch to actually taking her first step. 358 00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,239 Speaker 1: So she has a lot of development with speech and 359 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:05,520 Speaker 1: with you know, big motor skills, and so we're working 360 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:09,840 Speaker 1: really intentionally with the therapists. But it's been really worked 361 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,400 Speaker 1: out pretty well for them to come to our home 362 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,600 Speaker 1: because then our nanny is also getting trained, so while 363 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,719 Speaker 1: she participates in the therapy and so she can hear 364 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: and understand and know what we're working on with Emily. 365 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:24,200 Speaker 1: But childcare has been quite a dilemma because we live 366 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:29,640 Speaker 1: in a smaller town near a larger city, but it's 367 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,320 Speaker 1: the childcare that I would want her in is very 368 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 1: far away. So we've ended up going with the nanny route, 369 00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,200 Speaker 1: which works great for us, but it does it makes 370 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 1: it pretty complex because she would not thrive in a 371 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 1: one to ten toddler setting. I mean she just would not. 372 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 1: I mean not a lot of children said, and it 373 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:49,159 Speaker 1: would be hard. It would be hard with the therapies, 374 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 1: right because they would daycare, but I mean they're not 375 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,920 Speaker 1: going to have the daycare teacher would not have time 376 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,159 Speaker 1: to like sit with the therapist, right, So yeah, a 377 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:03,120 Speaker 1: lot of challenge is in organizing the therapies, but we've 378 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,679 Speaker 1: made it work with our nanny system and me being 379 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:10,399 Speaker 1: closely involved with the therapist. So that's been a big shift. 380 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 1: And then also just having a lot more developmental things 381 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 1: to manage. And then she does have neurology appointments at 382 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: a hospital that's about two hours from us, so we 383 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 1: have to navigate whole days at the hospital to check 384 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: on her. And so that takes a lot of logistical 385 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 1: and advanced planning on like how to make that happen 386 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:33,240 Speaker 1: and how to plan it into my work schedule. Well, 387 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,960 Speaker 1: so how do you plan it into your work skinner, 388 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 1: because let's say you know you've got this, I'm not 389 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,920 Speaker 1: sure sort of the level of flexibility in your job 390 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 1: versus like you know, and the level of responsibility obviously 391 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,919 Speaker 1: you know, so how and it's probably not easy to 392 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,320 Speaker 1: get the neurology appointments, I mean just from like, I 393 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:52,720 Speaker 1: pretty much have to work my life around the neurology 394 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,600 Speaker 1: right there. And so then you just tell your college 395 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: president like, no, I can't meet that day, so your 396 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,520 Speaker 1: husband takes it. I'm just you know, maybe that through 397 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,040 Speaker 1: with our yeah, our listeners and I could talk a 398 00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:05,199 Speaker 1: little bit more about Christis in the moment, because that 399 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 1: was a unique season of my work life. Yeah. So 400 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,280 Speaker 1: you know one thing I'm very thankful about, and Sarah, Laura, 401 00:21:14,359 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 1: you all talk about this frequently, is that back when 402 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 1: I was that new mom and kind of contemplating would 403 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:23,199 Speaker 1: it be better for me to go part time? And 404 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 1: I'm so thankful I didn't because I'm really reaping now 405 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,719 Speaker 1: the benefits of having a twenty plus year career in 406 00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,920 Speaker 1: my field and getting to do my dream job, which 407 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,879 Speaker 1: involves quite a bit of autonomy, and so I really 408 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,959 Speaker 1: am able to manage my schedule as I need to 409 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,959 Speaker 1: with not a lot of questions asked. So I'm responsible 410 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 1: to get the job done and responsible to manage my 411 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:50,879 Speaker 1: staff and my team and our goals and objectives and 412 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:53,720 Speaker 1: all that. But I don't really have to be like 413 00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:57,720 Speaker 1: accountable hour to hour for my time. So I have 414 00:21:57,760 --> 00:22:01,239 Speaker 1: an incredible executive assistant, and so she and I are 415 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:05,680 Speaker 1: a great team and we work. You know, I put 416 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:09,120 Speaker 1: everything into the calendar ahead of time. She understands what's 417 00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,600 Speaker 1: the priorities, and then she's awesome at kind of working 418 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: behind the scenes to make sure that no significant meetings 419 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 1: are scheduled when I couldn't be there. So she's really 420 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:23,480 Speaker 1: great at like making that work with the other administrative 421 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 1: assistants on campus, you know, to kind of negotiate when 422 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:28,920 Speaker 1: are the meeting's going to happen, and so that there's 423 00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,680 Speaker 1: nothing that would be a problem for me to miss 424 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,280 Speaker 1: because I've got people, I've got her looking out for me. 425 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,520 Speaker 1: So I also have done, you know, all kinds of 426 00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,520 Speaker 1: things like take it. I've done interviews from the hospital, 427 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:44,960 Speaker 1: you know, I've been edited documents from whoever I needed 428 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,640 Speaker 1: to be or traded off with my husband and who 429 00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:51,400 Speaker 1: was going to take Emily. So it just really made 430 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 1: it work, mostly through a lot of logistical planning. But 431 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,919 Speaker 1: that's so interesting that it's it's partly because you it 432 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,800 Speaker 1: happened at the time that you had climb the ladder 433 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,600 Speaker 1: to a point where you had that ability to be 434 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 1: more flexible. And I think that is such an important 435 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 1: point that people forget that the being at the top 436 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,679 Speaker 1: can come with its privileges. Absolutely, it's been really beneficial 437 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,160 Speaker 1: in this season of life. And not that I mean 438 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,679 Speaker 1: I still have to get the work done and so 439 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 1: that's pretty challenging at times. But it's more of a 440 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,480 Speaker 1: logistical game and a priority game that I'm accountable to myself, 441 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,399 Speaker 1: and so that really fits well with my personality and 442 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,159 Speaker 1: management style. Can you talk a little bit about the 443 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:32,879 Speaker 1: crisis time that you said, because you know, last summer 444 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,280 Speaker 1: Emily had some some serious issues. I think you said 445 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:39,679 Speaker 1: related to the epilepsy. Is that what is diagnosed with 446 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 1: the infantile spasms, and that is a form of epilepsy 447 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: very rare, but it essentially stops the brain from developing, 448 00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:51,199 Speaker 1: if you can imagine that, and it causes regression. So 449 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:55,840 Speaker 1: it is a terrible, terrible disease. So essentially she went 450 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,439 Speaker 1: from sitting up as a happy six month old to 451 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 1: not being able to sit up, not being able to 452 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 1: roll over, not being able to smile, not being able 453 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 1: to babble. She lost all of her skills. And oh 454 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,680 Speaker 1: my god, that must have been so hard. I mean, 455 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,520 Speaker 1: I know about the disorder, and particularly as you were 456 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:17,240 Speaker 1: probably so celebratory previously because you're like, Wow, my down's 457 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,240 Speaker 1: baby's doing a meeting. I mean, I'm I'm so sorry 458 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,600 Speaker 1: you had to go through that, and I cannot imagine 459 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:25,919 Speaker 1: how devastating. Yeah, again, it is rare for kids with 460 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,680 Speaker 1: down syndrome, although it's a trigger, but it's a pretty 461 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 1: rare one, So yeah, it was. So last summer there 462 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,399 Speaker 1: was about a three months three month stretch where we 463 00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:40,440 Speaker 1: essentially you went into crisis mode, and that means that 464 00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:44,200 Speaker 1: we got I got really clear on what my priorities were, 465 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 1: and it meant that I had to be pretty intentional 466 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 1: about what needed to happen at work and what needed 467 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:55,159 Speaker 1: to happen with Emily. Now, thankfully, Emily was not in pain, 468 00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:57,080 Speaker 1: so that would have been a whole other if I 469 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,399 Speaker 1: was managing a child in a lot of pain, but 470 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:03,840 Speaker 1: she wasn't, so I really we did have some hospital 471 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 1: stays and other than that, though I was able to 472 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: continue her care either with a nanny or with my parents. 473 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,520 Speaker 1: She was with my mom quite a bit, and we've 474 00:25:14,600 --> 00:25:17,920 Speaker 1: chosen to live like right next to campus, so I 475 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 1: was able to have a lot of close contact whenever 476 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:24,920 Speaker 1: I needed to with Emily. But I was pretty confident 477 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: in the care that the nanny was providing, and my 478 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,639 Speaker 1: husband works out of our home, so who was also 479 00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:36,160 Speaker 1: pretty connected. And yeah, yeah, it was the best case 480 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:41,840 Speaker 1: scenario in that way. But again, I worked really closely 481 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:46,320 Speaker 1: with my team at work, to make sure that I 482 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,800 Speaker 1: didn't miss the things that I really needed to have 483 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,919 Speaker 1: presents at and so that again was just tooking a 484 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 1: lot of navigating to ensure that I didn't want to 485 00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,919 Speaker 1: just simply be absent and I didn't need to be. 486 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 1: But it wasn't like a life and death on a 487 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,800 Speaker 1: day to day crisis. It was more of like managing 488 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:09,080 Speaker 1: her treatment over time, and it took a long time 489 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 1: for the treatment to work, so we had to kind 490 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: of find a new normal during that crisis. So it 491 00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,760 Speaker 1: was I mean, I would say that there was about 492 00:26:17,840 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 1: nine months, maybe a year, because I was also like 493 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 1: all the pumping and the sleep deprivation, you know, but 494 00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:26,359 Speaker 1: it was, oh wow, it was during that time. I 495 00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:29,040 Speaker 1: didn't even really think about that internet, let me tell you. 496 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:34,200 Speaker 1: But at some point, I mean truly it was also 497 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,280 Speaker 1: accepting that for that year my work was going to 498 00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: be in maintenance mode, like I was going to do 499 00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,520 Speaker 1: the things that needed to get done, and I was 500 00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 1: going to I mean, I just wasn't going to be 501 00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 1: able to do like all the things that I would 502 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 1: like to do. So I had to be pretty clear 503 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:53,520 Speaker 1: on what can be dropped or postponed, what has to happen. 504 00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,280 Speaker 1: How can I make that happen? And I'm a fairly 505 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,480 Speaker 1: relational leader, so I've invested a lot in my team 506 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:04,399 Speaker 1: and they're incredible and capable and empowered people. So things 507 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,199 Speaker 1: that I couldn do, we rerouted to someone else. And 508 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,680 Speaker 1: again I had this incredible support through my admin assistant, 509 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 1: who was really able to help make sure that the 510 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 1: things that were critical were not falling off my radar. So, Sarah, 511 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,000 Speaker 1: on one thing that you know could have been easy 512 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,959 Speaker 1: to have fall off the radar during all this is 513 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,520 Speaker 1: obviously your relationship with your other children, and so I'm 514 00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,879 Speaker 1: curious about how you've handled sort of life with the 515 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:34,920 Speaker 1: five year old sort of after having Emily, and how 516 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,760 Speaker 1: you've managed to sort of make sure that that doesn't 517 00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:41,040 Speaker 1: always sort of right, you know, fall to the bottom 518 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:48,640 Speaker 1: of the priority list. Yeah, well, when I some of it, initially, right, 519 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,159 Speaker 1: is just the transition of a new baby and another 520 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 1: person in our lives, And so you're always going to 521 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,439 Speaker 1: have transition whenever you have a new child. And I 522 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,879 Speaker 1: would say the vast majority of the transition would be 523 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 1: very typical to like what other families experience and navigate. 524 00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 1: But then with the additional of the therapies, and of 525 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 1: course the crisis with Kai. I mean, how did that 526 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:15,119 Speaker 1: affect him? You know? I mean probably in that really 527 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:17,720 Speaker 1: intense period of six weeks where we were in and 528 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 1: out of the hospital, I really relied on community, my community, 529 00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:27,400 Speaker 1: my family support, relied on my husband and I trading 530 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 1: off and communicating as well as we could about making 531 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:36,600 Speaker 1: sure everyone's needs were met. I think I didn't really 532 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,280 Speaker 1: sense that he had a lot of trauma or upset 533 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 1: during that season because his routine was able to be 534 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 1: pretty steady, so as far as his childcare plan and 535 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,480 Speaker 1: his day to day life didn't switch up very much, 536 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:52,600 Speaker 1: and that was what I hoped to do. So he 537 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 1: saw less of Mommy during that season, but as far 538 00:28:56,240 --> 00:29:03,479 Speaker 1: as stability, consistency, caregivers involvement, that was stable. Now he 539 00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:07,040 Speaker 1: and Emily really enjoy each other. I don't think we've 540 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 1: told him. Of course, she has down syndrome. He doesn't 541 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,280 Speaker 1: get it at all, so he doesn't really understand what 542 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 1: that is. And he's never had a younger sibling, so 543 00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:19,160 Speaker 1: he doesn't have anything to evaluate it against. So to him, 544 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 1: she's just Emily. So they just play and it's not 545 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:28,040 Speaker 1: even a deal with my older daughter in college. She 546 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:32,640 Speaker 1: was also in the midst of Emily's first year. She transitioned, 547 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,800 Speaker 1: went to college early, and was doing all of that. 548 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,600 Speaker 1: So I really did feel like I needed to be 549 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,560 Speaker 1: pretty intentional about getting our coffee dates or having focused 550 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 1: time with her. But because she's a college student, it's 551 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,719 Speaker 1: a whole other ballgame, and we really can like go 552 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,080 Speaker 1: out to coffee and catch up, like we don't have 553 00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:53,480 Speaker 1: to hang out on the floor of the living room 554 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,240 Speaker 1: like I do with my son. Right, totally different ballgame, 555 00:29:57,400 --> 00:30:02,880 Speaker 1: different emotionally, but probably less physical presence you needed. I 556 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,480 Speaker 1: guess one final sort of question to ask you about 557 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,080 Speaker 1: this is taking care of yourself in the midst of 558 00:30:08,080 --> 00:30:11,000 Speaker 1: all this, because I can imagine that, you know, working 559 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 1: a demanding job and having multiple children, including one with 560 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,760 Speaker 1: special needs, it takes a lot of energy, and it 561 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,200 Speaker 1: sounds like you're a very high energy person, but you 562 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:24,040 Speaker 1: probably have to do something to replenish that. So I'm 563 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: curious what you do and how you make sure that 564 00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,880 Speaker 1: that has space in your schedule as well. Yeah, well, 565 00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:34,920 Speaker 1: you know, I would say that this, like energy management 566 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 1: and self care, is really critical in our lives as 567 00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 1: moms and as leaders or whatever we're doing, like it's 568 00:30:43,520 --> 00:30:46,920 Speaker 1: really top because I have learned that it really is 569 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,680 Speaker 1: dependent on my energy level. So I have to be 570 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:55,200 Speaker 1: pretty conscientious about the care and feeding of Sarah right 571 00:30:55,280 --> 00:31:00,479 Speaker 1: like on my sleep needs or exercise needs or social 572 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:05,760 Speaker 1: fun needs. And and we didn't even get into your 573 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 1: your relationship with your husband too. That's part of that. Yeah, 574 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:13,800 Speaker 1: I do. Sometimes I joke with my friends that like, 575 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,640 Speaker 1: there's never a time that one ball isn't being dropped. 576 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,080 Speaker 1: It's like I just it's just we focus on the priority. 577 00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:23,120 Speaker 1: Whatever is that I need to be focusing on is 578 00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:25,240 Speaker 1: what I focus on, and then I can shift and 579 00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:26,960 Speaker 1: focus on the next thing. But it seems like there's 580 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,280 Speaker 1: always something, you know, It's like work can be going great, 581 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 1: kids are going great, but the house is a disaster, 582 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,400 Speaker 1: or you know, there's a big, huge work crisis and 583 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 1: so that's not going great. But like the kids, we 584 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:42,600 Speaker 1: had a phenomenal vacation. So it seems like there's always 585 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,440 Speaker 1: like something where you have to be pretty in tune 586 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:49,960 Speaker 1: to your priorities. But I really love to have a 587 00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:53,320 Speaker 1: lot of fun with my friends, and so I'm pretty 588 00:31:53,800 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 1: intentional about creating space for that. And that doesn't I 589 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 1: don't need a lot of time, but I definitely create 590 00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:08,959 Speaker 1: space in my calendar for lunches with friends, our book club, 591 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:12,800 Speaker 1: like occasionally a friend's mine out and go to a 592 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:16,120 Speaker 1: movie or a date night with my husband. So for me, 593 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:18,480 Speaker 1: it's mostly a matter of getting it on the calendar 594 00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:22,959 Speaker 1: and planning, so that is perf. We're definitely speaking our 595 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 1: love language there. It's all have been very helpful to me, 596 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,680 Speaker 1: and this and this power of planning and getting it 597 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: on the calendar makes it happen. I love that, and 598 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 1: I love I sort of love your intentionality about realizing 599 00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,400 Speaker 1: that perhaps you can't have every ball in the air 600 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,040 Speaker 1: at once, but it's okay. You focus on the ball 601 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:40,640 Speaker 1: that you have to focus on in that moment, and 602 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:42,560 Speaker 1: then when you zoom out and see the big picture, 603 00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:46,560 Speaker 1: I mean, you've done amazing things. You've been raising these 604 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,680 Speaker 1: three children successfully, You're kicking butt at work. You sound 605 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 1: like you're still enjoying life since very inspiring. Well, you 606 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:57,040 Speaker 1: know it is like I really do feel like I 607 00:32:57,080 --> 00:33:00,000 Speaker 1: am living my best life, Like this is the life 608 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,520 Speaker 1: life that I've dreamed of, and I feel pretty fortunate 609 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:07,160 Speaker 1: to be able to contribute in meaningful ways. And also 610 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,160 Speaker 1: have a family that really brings me a lot of joy. 611 00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 1: And one thing that I think you talked about this 612 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 1: and you're off the clock book, Laura, but one thing 613 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,520 Speaker 1: that has been really clear to me in the last 614 00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,440 Speaker 1: couple of years of my life is that hardship and 615 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 1: joy can thrive together, and that I didn't sign up 616 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 1: for an easy life. I didn't sign up for a 617 00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,040 Speaker 1: stress free life or a life that's just going to 618 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:34,720 Speaker 1: be easy street like. I wanted a life that is 619 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:40,320 Speaker 1: thriving and contributing and meaningful, and so a life like 620 00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:44,240 Speaker 1: that is hard, and hard things have happened, but it's 621 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,040 Speaker 1: also been a very joyful season of life for me, 622 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 1: and family and work has brought me a lot of 623 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:53,719 Speaker 1: joy these days. And I'm actually pretty thankful that I 624 00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,640 Speaker 1: have work now and that my whole life is not 625 00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:00,880 Speaker 1: revolving around an identity as a special needs parent or 626 00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:04,880 Speaker 1: whole my whole life isn't revolving around managing my children, 627 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,840 Speaker 1: because I think that that would perhaps create more stress 628 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:12,279 Speaker 1: in me. I work a little bit better to have 629 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:16,440 Speaker 1: my energy going multiple places, and so I'm experiencing affirmation 630 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,919 Speaker 1: and meaning and lots of places great. And I wonder 631 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,239 Speaker 1: if you had any just one last question for you. 632 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:28,839 Speaker 1: Here is advice to any you know younger mom who 633 00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,719 Speaker 1: are newer mom. I guess you would say, who is 634 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:36,200 Speaker 1: facing a tough diagnosis, either like prenatally or in a 635 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:41,480 Speaker 1: young child. Anything you'd want her to know? Yeah, you know, 636 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:49,879 Speaker 1: I would want her to realize that or to recognize that, Yeah, 637 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:53,360 Speaker 1: having a special needs diagnosis is not easy. It is hard. 638 00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:57,920 Speaker 1: And certainly my life has more logistical challenges than it 639 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:01,080 Speaker 1: did three years ago, and it has things that are 640 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:05,000 Speaker 1: hard in it, But I honestly can say that my 641 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 1: life post Emily is more joyful, Like I really enjoy 642 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:13,200 Speaker 1: her presence and our family, and it made me think 643 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,359 Speaker 1: more deeply about who I am and life and what 644 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,360 Speaker 1: it means to be human and what it means to 645 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,600 Speaker 1: contribute in really powerful ways. And it's connected me with 646 00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:25,719 Speaker 1: a community of people that I had no idea were 647 00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:29,000 Speaker 1: such amazing people. So I think I would want to 648 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:33,120 Speaker 1: say this may not and it probably will not be easy, 649 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,200 Speaker 1: but I can guarantee you it will bring you a 650 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:40,560 Speaker 1: level of joy that you can't even really imagine and anticipate, 651 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 1: because this human being is going to bring more to 652 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:47,920 Speaker 1: you than you will to that person. So that's what 653 00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:53,160 Speaker 1: I would hope she would know. That's beautiful. It was beautiful. Well, Sarah, 654 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 1: thank you so much. We really appreciate your coming on 655 00:35:55,840 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 1: and sharing your life with us. Well thanks for the opportunity. Wow, 656 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,600 Speaker 1: well that was amazing. I know, we was almost like 657 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,440 Speaker 1: crying at the end of that. There just is so 658 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,759 Speaker 1: inspiring and uplifting and you know, makes me feel like 659 00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:11,560 Speaker 1: I need to be a more positive person. But agreed, 660 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:15,719 Speaker 1: absolutely inspiring and emotional. And I hope everyone I hope 661 00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,000 Speaker 1: that came through on our records, that came through and yeah, 662 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:21,840 Speaker 1: if there is anyone listening to this who is facing 663 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:26,080 Speaker 1: a tough diagnosis, just to know that often life turns 664 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,640 Speaker 1: out in some amazing ways. And you know that was 665 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:33,120 Speaker 1: that was just something amazing to listen to. But yeah, 666 00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,319 Speaker 1: so so pivoting from there, we forgot to act. We 667 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,480 Speaker 1: were so moved, we forgot to ask Stara Baldwin about 668 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,279 Speaker 1: our Literally we're like, wait, we just let her go 669 00:36:40,360 --> 00:36:43,360 Speaker 1: and like, now we didn't ask her that, so oh well, 670 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:47,760 Speaker 1: this is you know, somewhat of a mishmash an amateur 671 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:50,879 Speaker 1: something that we do. But okay, so what's your love 672 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:54,480 Speaker 1: of the wake Sarah Sah, I have discovered, Yes, to 673 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:58,280 Speaker 1: be clear, I've discovered Gmail's tag function, which I didn't 674 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:03,759 Speaker 1: really uh you ever. Now we all know Laura has 675 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:07,040 Speaker 1: like fifty thousand emails and doesn't want it really empty, 676 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:09,800 Speaker 1: but I like to do inbox zero and makes me happy. 677 00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,360 Speaker 1: But I kind of like wanted a separate folder for 678 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:16,040 Speaker 1: podcast things that were percolating, like questions, because you guys 679 00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:17,840 Speaker 1: are all amazing and you send us lots of email 680 00:37:17,960 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 1: questions and we kind of keep them all so we 681 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,279 Speaker 1: can figure out which ones will fit wear. And by 682 00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:23,000 Speaker 1: the way, that's a nice reminder you can continue to 683 00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,320 Speaker 1: send those either through email or Insta or my blog 684 00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:28,920 Speaker 1: or Laura's blog or whatever anyway. So now I've started 685 00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,319 Speaker 1: putting a little blue star on them, and I can 686 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,200 Speaker 1: still archive them so they disappear. But if I go 687 00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,160 Speaker 1: to my start, I can see all the little blue 688 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:38,920 Speaker 1: stars lined up, so they're all carefully and neatly sorted 689 00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,000 Speaker 1: there and it makes me super happy. Yeah. No, we 690 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,719 Speaker 1: definitely needed to come up with the personality rubric as 691 00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:47,560 Speaker 1: like the people who need nothing in Box zero. Well, 692 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,560 Speaker 1: it's funny because I was just on on Twitter and 693 00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,960 Speaker 1: you know Courtney Carver, who is one of our previous guests, 694 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 1: who wrote, you know she does be more, she's super minimal. Yeah, minimal. 695 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,360 Speaker 1: She had a post about how she had let go 696 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:02,319 Speaker 1: of some of her books, so you know, this was 697 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,840 Speaker 1: one of the things she least wanted to purge, but 698 00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,279 Speaker 1: she realized that she could, you know, pare it down 699 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,120 Speaker 1: her book collection and only have a few, and that 700 00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:11,120 Speaker 1: they could come in and out of her life. And 701 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:14,120 Speaker 1: somebody responded to her tweet saying, well, you know, I 702 00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,200 Speaker 1: moved to ebooks because of this, but now I just 703 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,920 Speaker 1: have a bunch of e books on my Kindle that 704 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:19,719 Speaker 1: I haven't read, and I need to get rid of 705 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: them and sort them. I'm like, but why, Like, I 706 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,279 Speaker 1: don't understand why you need to get rid of or 707 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,799 Speaker 1: sort like an ebook and your kindle that like it's 708 00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,480 Speaker 1: not taking you know, you have pretty much a space 709 00:38:30,719 --> 00:38:35,120 Speaker 1: like that's even beyond my I get it, probably more 710 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,280 Speaker 1: than you get it, because I actually have been tempted 711 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,319 Speaker 1: to like, oh, it's okay if they're in the cloud, 712 00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:40,839 Speaker 1: but I actually don't want them on my device because 713 00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 1: every time I open it, I don't want to see 714 00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:43,160 Speaker 1: these books. If I didn't like it or if I've 715 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:44,560 Speaker 1: read half of it, like, I don't know. But at 716 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,600 Speaker 1: the same time, I actually gave up on that because 717 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:49,120 Speaker 1: it's actually pretty hard, and I decided who cares. Yeah, 718 00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:51,520 Speaker 1: And by the time you have like maybe ten more books, 719 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,680 Speaker 1: it's off the screen anyway, like you know, it's pushes 720 00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:56,239 Speaker 1: out so you don't even see it, Like, so, why 721 00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 1: is it even I don't know. That's one of these 722 00:38:58,080 --> 00:38:59,640 Speaker 1: I'm with you on that one, but I get it. 723 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:03,720 Speaker 1: I'm wondering, if you know, I believe Gretchen Rubens writing 724 00:39:03,719 --> 00:39:06,280 Speaker 1: her next book on this phenomenon, So maybe she's got 725 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:10,279 Speaker 1: these Rubers care about maybe, or maybe she's just gonna 726 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 1: tell me I'm wrong. I don't know anyway, So my 727 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,080 Speaker 1: love of the week is I just ordered my twenty 728 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:18,840 Speaker 1: nineteen calendar. I think this is the first, the earliest 729 00:39:18,920 --> 00:39:21,080 Speaker 1: I have ever ordered the two thousand, you know, the 730 00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:24,000 Speaker 1: next year's calendar. I ordered it at the end of June, 731 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,880 Speaker 1: but I realized that was already writing stuff for twenty 732 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:28,920 Speaker 1: nineteen in the margins at the end of my twenty 733 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:32,359 Speaker 1: eighteen calendar, because I have a paper calendar. People who 734 00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:34,800 Speaker 1: haven't picked up on this, I don't use an electronic calendar. 735 00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:37,400 Speaker 1: So I was writing it and these margins and like, 736 00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:40,600 Speaker 1: you know, that's really not a great plan, so I 737 00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,560 Speaker 1: went ahead and ordered it. It's the twenty nineteen at 738 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:47,239 Speaker 1: a glance, item number G two fifty, I guess, but 739 00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,000 Speaker 1: it's just this, you know, small weekly calendar that has 740 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:52,239 Speaker 1: spiral binding so it stays open. It's what I've been 741 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:55,840 Speaker 1: using for the last five years. Massive When a layout 742 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:58,759 Speaker 1: works for you, you just keep with it. Massively overpriced, 743 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,960 Speaker 1: of course, I guess maybe the just only price it 744 00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:02,919 Speaker 1: for me that way because they know I'm gonna use 745 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:06,920 Speaker 1: its all. We're gonna charge me like seven bucks for Shavana, 746 00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 1: and anyone ordering their planner for the next year in 747 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: June is like clearly wants that specific yann. So I 748 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:16,680 Speaker 1: wonder if the prices go down closer to December. They 749 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,960 Speaker 1: probably do, So I ordered. I joined some sort of 750 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,279 Speaker 1: like club where I got cheaper shipping or whatever, and 751 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,120 Speaker 1: then I found a coupon code so I got I 752 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,000 Speaker 1: got it for a little less, but it's still whatever. Anyway, 753 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,120 Speaker 1: that's actually really smart. I have a list forming in 754 00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:29,840 Speaker 1: the back of myne and you're right, I should just 755 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,600 Speaker 1: I already know what I want, so I should just 756 00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,200 Speaker 1: go ahead and order. Why not? So anyone listening to this, 757 00:40:34,239 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: maybe you could go ahead and order your planner now 758 00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:39,920 Speaker 1: for join the Club for twenty nineteen. All right, so 759 00:40:39,960 --> 00:40:41,480 Speaker 1: that's my love of the week. Let's let's do our 760 00:40:41,560 --> 00:40:44,319 Speaker 1: Q and A. Now, yeah, it's quite a meaty one, Laura, 761 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,839 Speaker 1: you're gonna read the question, okay. So our listener wrote 762 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,600 Speaker 1: in and said, I love your podcast and feel so 763 00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,200 Speaker 1: inspired by it to live my life more intentionally. But 764 00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,880 Speaker 1: I can't help but feeling like I just can't. I 765 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,359 Speaker 1: recently listened to your podcast about challenging times, and I 766 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,439 Speaker 1: am one in in one big challenging time ever since 767 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,040 Speaker 1: I had kids six years ago. There are a few 768 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,920 Speaker 1: challenging issues working against me. But the biggie is that 769 00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:10,520 Speaker 1: both my kids have had medical sleep issues. The interrupted 770 00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:13,319 Speaker 1: sleep zapp's my energy, productivity and mood. Not to mention 771 00:41:13,360 --> 00:41:15,879 Speaker 1: my kids moods, because of course they're cranky with that too. 772 00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,439 Speaker 1: The older one is now better, they're not one hundred 773 00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,160 Speaker 1: percent better. Are still working with the sleep doctor on 774 00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,520 Speaker 1: my two year olds. For years, I couldn't work at 775 00:41:22,520 --> 00:41:24,880 Speaker 1: all despite wanting to work, and now I somehow manage 776 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,160 Speaker 1: a part time job, but I have not settled into 777 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,160 Speaker 1: a new normal that allows me to take proper care 778 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:31,800 Speaker 1: of myself and pursue my non work interests. I basically 779 00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,120 Speaker 1: look and feel like a frazzled mom all the time, 780 00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,800 Speaker 1: except when I somehow hold things together at my job. 781 00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:40,200 Speaker 1: Do you think I can plan, strategize, outsource, and negotiate 782 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,120 Speaker 1: my way toward a better life? Or do I just 783 00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,680 Speaker 1: accept that I have something difficult on my plate and 784 00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:49,360 Speaker 1: be patient for this to pass? Wow? Yeah, that's tough, immediate. 785 00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,520 Speaker 1: I love. I think it's a great question, and I 786 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:55,000 Speaker 1: think she sort of answered herself in that last part 787 00:41:55,080 --> 00:41:58,200 Speaker 1: because my answer to her is yes, yes and yes, 788 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:01,280 Speaker 1: meaning do I think she can plan and strategize, outsource 789 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,800 Speaker 1: and negotiate her way towards a better life? Yes? And 790 00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:07,120 Speaker 1: can she accept that she has something difficult on her 791 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,319 Speaker 1: plate and be patient? Yes? So I guess what I 792 00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:11,680 Speaker 1: mean by that is we're not gonna be able to 793 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:13,960 Speaker 1: You're not gonna be able to fix everything in one go. 794 00:42:14,120 --> 00:42:16,440 Speaker 1: And clearly this is a process and you've you've actually 795 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,200 Speaker 1: made some progress on it that you mentioned. Well, just 796 00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:22,400 Speaker 1: baking this back to our main you know segment of 797 00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:25,680 Speaker 1: this podcast right when we're talking with Sarah Baldwin. I mean, yes, 798 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:29,239 Speaker 1: the joy and the hardship can be there simultaneously, like 799 00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,279 Speaker 1: being able to hold in your mind simultaneously like, yes, 800 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:35,360 Speaker 1: this is tough, but yes, there are also good things 801 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:38,160 Speaker 1: happening too, because I mean, you know, it would be 802 00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:40,120 Speaker 1: horrible to just think like the last six years of 803 00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:41,759 Speaker 1: my life are nothing but to blur. I mean there's 804 00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:44,840 Speaker 1: probably like some good moments in there as well, and 805 00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,759 Speaker 1: it's just very hard to do this mental gymnastics, but 806 00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:51,759 Speaker 1: you can try to accept that both are simultaneously true, 807 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,080 Speaker 1: and the truth is I mean, even if this is 808 00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:57,680 Speaker 1: extremely tough, you've now seen with your six year old 809 00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,880 Speaker 1: that this is a temporary thing. So even if you 810 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,799 Speaker 1: can't get perfection right now, it doesn't mean you can't 811 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:07,200 Speaker 1: make slow progress and expect that hopefully things are going 812 00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:09,520 Speaker 1: to continue to improve. I mean, my heart goes out 813 00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,480 Speaker 1: to you with the sleep issues, because there's a physiological 814 00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:15,560 Speaker 1: issue with that, right, I mean that can anything that's 815 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:18,480 Speaker 1: already going wrong or is difficult is going to be 816 00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:23,320 Speaker 1: amplified times eight million when you are not sleeping. Yeah. Yeah, 817 00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:26,040 Speaker 1: So if there's anything you can do logistically or in 818 00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:28,560 Speaker 1: your life to add more sleep, then I'm sure you've 819 00:43:28,560 --> 00:43:30,520 Speaker 1: probably already done it. But of course that's you know 820 00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:32,680 Speaker 1: number one. I had a few other thoughts and then 821 00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:35,200 Speaker 1: a large time and as well. So you mentioned feeling 822 00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 1: like you look like a frazzled mom, and I would say, 823 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,560 Speaker 1: looks are kind of like compared to sleep issues or 824 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:43,759 Speaker 1: mood issues like, looks are not that hard to fix, right, 825 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:47,560 Speaker 1: So I would take some time to yourself to maybe 826 00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,160 Speaker 1: specifically address this issue. And whether that means ordering a 827 00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:51,919 Speaker 1: whole bunch of clothes that you're going to return half 828 00:43:51,960 --> 00:43:54,839 Speaker 1: of or three quarters of whatever, or trying trunk club, 829 00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:57,680 Speaker 1: or you know, some solution to efficiently get yourself some 830 00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:00,640 Speaker 1: clothes that make you feel better. And I think we 831 00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:02,680 Speaker 1: actually went back and forth and started talking about hair. 832 00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:05,080 Speaker 1: If there's something you can do to make your hair 833 00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:07,960 Speaker 1: lower maintenance. I mean, Japanese straightening is not for everyone, 834 00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:10,239 Speaker 1: but I'm just throwing it out there. You won't have 835 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:14,680 Speaker 1: any frizz if you go for that route. Makeup is 836 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,839 Speaker 1: you know, not necessarily important, but if it makes you 837 00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,360 Speaker 1: feel better, it may be worth you know, taking the 838 00:44:20,400 --> 00:44:22,880 Speaker 1: time to buy some and you know, committing to putting 839 00:44:22,920 --> 00:44:25,960 Speaker 1: some on every morning. If that helps you. Not in 840 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:29,000 Speaker 1: no way saying that that's necessary for everyone, but if 841 00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:32,719 Speaker 1: that's contributing to your feelings, then there you go. You 842 00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,959 Speaker 1: mentioned that things are improving, so maybe there are little 843 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,000 Speaker 1: things you can do that you couldn't do before that 844 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:41,480 Speaker 1: you could really pay attention and celebrate, Like maybe it 845 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,799 Speaker 1: wasn't feasible to exercise at all, but now you could 846 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,960 Speaker 1: get up once a week or twice a week, so 847 00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:49,399 Speaker 1: you know, really notice those little incremental changes if there 848 00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:51,799 Speaker 1: are things that are getting a little bit better. And 849 00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:54,640 Speaker 1: then my last thing, and both Laura and I kind 850 00:44:54,640 --> 00:44:58,919 Speaker 1: of thought about this therapy. Both of us thought about 851 00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:02,280 Speaker 1: possible depression, which I in no way diagnosing over an email. 852 00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,440 Speaker 1: That would be completely wrong and unprofessional, but I'm just 853 00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:07,359 Speaker 1: throwing it out there as something that could be going 854 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:11,480 Speaker 1: on and could be exacerbated by sleep issues. And I 855 00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:14,560 Speaker 1: myself have gone to therapy in a trying time and 856 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:17,799 Speaker 1: it was incredibly helpful and it didn't even I mean, 857 00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,080 Speaker 1: the funny thing is I sort of dreaded it, but 858 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:22,680 Speaker 1: the investment in time turned out to be I think 859 00:45:22,719 --> 00:45:24,879 Speaker 1: I went for like a few sessions and I still 860 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,400 Speaker 1: felt a million times better just from having an impartial 861 00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:29,600 Speaker 1: person to kind of vent to and sort out things. 862 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:33,560 Speaker 1: And depending on the extent to which you are needing assistance, 863 00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:36,080 Speaker 1: you're either going to build a longer term relationship or 864 00:45:36,600 --> 00:45:40,240 Speaker 1: you're not. But even some small connection might be helpful. 865 00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:43,520 Speaker 1: So just from the tone of your email, like, if 866 00:45:43,560 --> 00:45:46,280 Speaker 1: you're thinking that therapy might be helpful, then I would 867 00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:49,439 Speaker 1: highly encourage you to consider it. Yeah, that was sort 868 00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,000 Speaker 1: of my thought reading this is sometimes when there's language 869 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:57,239 Speaker 1: and an email like this that's you know, very you 870 00:45:57,239 --> 00:45:59,920 Speaker 1: can read this sort of toughness and like the challenge 871 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,880 Speaker 1: they're facing in it. And sometimes when it comes across 872 00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,080 Speaker 1: that way, I know this isn't the realm for self help. 873 00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:08,680 Speaker 1: This is more maybe something that's a you know, medical 874 00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,520 Speaker 1: mood issue that you know, I'm not certainly in any 875 00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:14,279 Speaker 1: way qualified to help with Sarah. Sarah would have to 876 00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:16,799 Speaker 1: see somebody to talk about that. So yeah, no, I 877 00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:18,600 Speaker 1: didn't want to say too much in this one thing. 878 00:46:18,640 --> 00:46:21,799 Speaker 1: I would say with sleep though, making sleep your top 879 00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:25,760 Speaker 1: priority in your life when it is interrupted, it stinks 880 00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:27,560 Speaker 1: to have to do that because you know, you want 881 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:29,120 Speaker 1: to do everything else right, You want to read, you 882 00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:30,560 Speaker 1: want to do extra work for your job, you want 883 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,520 Speaker 1: to hang out with your spouse, you want to see friends, 884 00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,840 Speaker 1: and you will get to do that, like as you 885 00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:36,839 Speaker 1: can see, the six year old's better, so you know, 886 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:38,319 Speaker 1: you're waiting for the two year old to get to 887 00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:41,719 Speaker 1: be where the six year old is, and so you'll 888 00:46:41,719 --> 00:46:43,560 Speaker 1: get to do that. So at this point you kind 889 00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,600 Speaker 1: of just have to prioritize sleep, which means going to 890 00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:48,960 Speaker 1: bed as soon as possible after the little guy has 891 00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:51,720 Speaker 1: gone down, you know, so you can have that early 892 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:55,239 Speaker 1: evening sleep, which is often sort of better. I know 893 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,440 Speaker 1: that a lot of new moms who are getting up 894 00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,600 Speaker 1: multiple times in the night find that that early sleep 895 00:46:59,640 --> 00:47:02,160 Speaker 1: is the best sleep. And you want to get as 896 00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:04,839 Speaker 1: much of that. Oh yeah, like eight to eleven could 897 00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:07,000 Speaker 1: be I mean again, I don't know that your children 898 00:47:07,000 --> 00:47:09,000 Speaker 1: are going to bed at eight for that to be feasible, 899 00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,640 Speaker 1: but that early chunk could be so therapy. Yeah, it 900 00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,839 Speaker 1: can be so. And when I wrote I know how 901 00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,000 Speaker 1: she does it, one of the women who tracked time 902 00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,120 Speaker 1: for Me was in fact a single mom of three 903 00:47:18,160 --> 00:47:22,120 Speaker 1: young kids who had horrible sleep issues, and it was 904 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:25,040 Speaker 1: it was tough looking at that time log of just 905 00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:28,160 Speaker 1: you know, how many wake ups were happening but what 906 00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:29,960 Speaker 1: was sort of also happening too, is that she was 907 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,160 Speaker 1: staying up late after the kids went down because she 908 00:47:32,200 --> 00:47:34,080 Speaker 1: needed me time, right, Like she's a single mom, she 909 00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:35,600 Speaker 1: wants the meat time, and I know it was so 910 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,680 Speaker 1: it's like this horrible dilemma that she was facing, right 911 00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,520 Speaker 1: because she wants the me time and yet she also 912 00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:44,480 Speaker 1: needs the sleep. And so it's you know, wondering if 913 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,080 Speaker 1: there was any way to sort of build me time 914 00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:49,000 Speaker 1: into like breaks at work for instance, so that that 915 00:47:49,120 --> 00:47:51,360 Speaker 1: early sleep could be protected more and just you know, 916 00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:54,080 Speaker 1: telling yourself like I'll feel better in the morning, but yeah, 917 00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,439 Speaker 1: you know, we really feel for you and and hope 918 00:47:57,480 --> 00:48:00,640 Speaker 1: it gets better because sleep, losing sleep the long term 919 00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:05,640 Speaker 1: is really just tough. So anyway, on that uplifting note, 920 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,040 Speaker 1: this has been This has been best of both worlds. 921 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,000 Speaker 1: A lot of deep issues talking about this in episode 922 00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:14,960 Speaker 1: fifty three, both special needs parenting and you know question 923 00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:18,319 Speaker 1: from a listener dealing with medical sleep issues and her kid. 924 00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:21,839 Speaker 1: But we hope to hear more from listeners of all 925 00:48:21,880 --> 00:48:24,080 Speaker 1: sorts of questions, So please write in let us know 926 00:48:24,120 --> 00:48:26,840 Speaker 1: what you think, and we'll be back more next week 927 00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,160 Speaker 1: on the ways that people make work and life fit together. 928 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,680 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the 929 00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:40,120 Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram, 930 00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:44,759 Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 931 00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:48,080 Speaker 1: This has been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please 932 00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:50,759 Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work and 933 00:48:50,840 --> 00:49:01,479 Speaker 1: life work together. Oh boy,