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Speaker 1: The show is on. It's stay or Go? All right?

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Speaker 1: Page is here? Good morning, Page? How you doing?

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Speaker 2: Welcome, I'm saying, good morning.

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Speaker 1: I'm okay, how are you Page?

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Speaker 3: I'm doing all right, except for the fact that now

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Speaker 3: I have to apparently buy my mom a trip around

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Speaker 3: the world or something.

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Speaker 1: But I don't know. Now everybody's texting.

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Speaker 2: It sounds expensive.

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Speaker 3: Everybody texting up here going no, everybody knows you got

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Speaker 3: to do this. I'm like, and what do you get

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Speaker 3: mom for Mother's Day? A card? Don't let me, don't

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Speaker 3: let me find out. Don't let me find out that

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Speaker 3: y'all need get mom a tack or tape parade or

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Speaker 3: something on mothers that y'all tell me to send it

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Speaker 3: to Italy.

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Speaker 1: It's wow. So what's going on with you? And Stay

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Speaker 1: or Go?

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Speaker 3: I understand that you're having an issue with your boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: Yeah I am. So we've been dating for three years,

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Speaker 2: and you know, it's three years, so there's lots of

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Speaker 2: good moments, bad moments, I'm sure you know. But I

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Speaker 2: really just think that we could be together forever. He's

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Speaker 2: he's comfortable.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, so three years together, you see a

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Speaker 3: future so what you're going on is because there's an issue.

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Speaker 1: So what's the issue?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, two years ago I cheated on him, which

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Speaker 2: I feel awful about. But it was one night. I

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Speaker 2: never did it again. It was at a work conference

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Speaker 2: and it was like this happy hour and a dinner

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Speaker 2: and honestly, I was drunk, and I don't want to

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Speaker 2: give an excuse about it, but it's honestly my biggest regret,

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Speaker 2: and I don't think it was really had any meaning

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Speaker 2: to it. And I told him about it and I

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Speaker 2: thought we worked through it and he did forgive me,

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Speaker 2: but it didn't come up again because it's not something

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Speaker 2: I really want.

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Speaker 3: To bring up, right, and in fairness, if you guys

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Speaker 3: work through something and then there's forgiveness, you don't get

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Speaker 3: to just throw that in there.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: It's not like every year when you guys get in

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Speaker 3: a fight. Yeah, a big blowout. And by the way,

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Speaker 3: when you cheated on me, because it's like, well, I mean,

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Speaker 3: if we really forgave me that, we don't get to

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Speaker 3: just keep you know. And I'm sure some men, but

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Speaker 3: in my experienced, women are very very good at keeping

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Speaker 3: an inventory of all the things I've ever done that

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Speaker 3: upset you so that we can bring them all up

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Speaker 3: as bomb boom every it's like, oh really, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: Oh you think you won this one?

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Speaker 1: Remember that time he shoot.

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Speaker 4: It on me?

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Speaker 1: Boom?

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Speaker 3: You remember that one time it was my birthday and

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Speaker 3: you and you gave me a suitcase two weeks before

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Speaker 3: you didn't give me a gift of my boom anyway.

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Speaker 3: So okay, all right, So so it was forgiven.

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Speaker 2: But correct, That's what I thought.

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Speaker 1: Why are we talking?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, three months ago he came clean that his

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Speaker 2: work wife scenario that he has with his wife or

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Speaker 2: work wife and not me, that it's been a bit

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Speaker 2: flirty and the text had been kind of intimate and

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Speaker 2: that they also made out in his car one night.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow, okay, And the work wife's thing, like so

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Speaker 3: this woman is on his team or sits next to him,

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Speaker 3: or has an office next to him, or you've heard

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Speaker 3: this work usban workwife, which I don't really love.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. I don't love when

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Speaker 1: people brag.

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Speaker 2: About that your wife, this woman is not your life,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 3: I mean you're basically saying to me when you say that, like,

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Speaker 3: I spend way more time with this person and get

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Speaker 3: along with them most of the time better than you.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: It's like I've also known him for longer, you know,

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Speaker 2: she just joined not so long ago.

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Speaker 1: For we ain't equal. Okay, we ain't equal.

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Speaker 3: I got to sleep in bed with you and listen

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Speaker 3: to your farts or whatever, and this lady, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean, So like we ain't equal. Okay, So

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Speaker 3: this year having a guy inappropriate? Now, was that as

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Speaker 3: far as it went? They just kissed her?

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Speaker 1: Was it more?

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Speaker 2: Well? You know, he said that there's no more contact

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Speaker 2: between them. I don't know. I mean, they work together,

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Speaker 2: but he says that there's none.

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Speaker 4: Just that.

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Speaker 2: I think it's wrong.

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Speaker 1: And wait, so did he leave jobs or something?

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Speaker 3: Because how is it that they don't have contact if

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Speaker 3: they worked together, like, did he how was he able

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Speaker 3: to cut her off? I guess is my question? Like

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Speaker 3: he was able to cut it completely off.

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Speaker 2: He says that he's actively avoiding her. Okay, I genuinely,

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Speaker 2: I'm not in the office, so I don't know. I

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Speaker 2: don't have a camera in the office.

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Speaker 3: Blinding all right, So we're going to take him at

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Speaker 3: his word. I guess, then, I guess, So you did

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Speaker 3: your deal, and and I guess you moved on. He

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Speaker 3: had this inappropriate thing with his coworker, and he claims

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Speaker 3: that he's now has he has boundaries, and he came

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Speaker 3: to you to come clean because you knew it was inappropriate. Okay,

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Speaker 3: So I assume that you're going to show him the

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Speaker 3: same grace, right Yeah.

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Speaker 2: But he's saying that what he did was wrong, but

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Speaker 2: what I did was worse, and that that it's incomparable,

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Speaker 2: and that it's not even really bad what he did,

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Speaker 2: and that I don't really deserve a full, true apology.

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Speaker 2: What he did wasn't so bad comparatively, and it's kind

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Speaker 2: of keeping score. It's just very like take for cat

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Speaker 2: to me.

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Speaker 3: So because you had a full on sexual well I

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Speaker 3: shouldn't say, relationship experience with another person years ago, now,

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Speaker 3: this thing that he did, in his opinion is not

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Speaker 3: so bad, and it's like, you know, you should get

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Speaker 3: over this quickly because well, you did this to me,

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Speaker 3: right right?

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Speaker 2: So that again, is that is that okay? Or if

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Speaker 2: he makes out with somebody else, it's okay because I

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Speaker 2: slept with somebody. It's very it doesn't feel good to me,

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Speaker 2: especially since we talked through it. And there was apologies made,

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Speaker 2: and it's never happened again and it never will. So

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Speaker 2: I don't like it.

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Speaker 3: And you're finding you're finding in his in his sort

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Speaker 3: of I mean, he did come clean to you and

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Speaker 3: ask for your forgiveness, I guess, but you're finding his

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Speaker 3: kind of laissez faire attitude like this what I mean?

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Speaker 5: What?

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Speaker 3: Hey, but it was nowhere near as bad as what

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Speaker 3: you did, which I don't know. I might argue, and

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Speaker 3: this may be unpopular, but at one time, one off

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Speaker 3: physical interaction while drinking with a dude you know, at

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Speaker 3: a work conference that you've never seen again, that might

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Speaker 3: not I mean, it's bad, but I might argue that

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Speaker 3: an ongoing emotional affair with someone you see every day,

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Speaker 3: that's almost deeper and in some ways worse.

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Speaker 5: Now.

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Speaker 3: I know that we're not keeping score here, but for

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Speaker 3: him to be like mine's not as bad as yours,

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Speaker 3: I don't necessarily think that's true.

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Speaker 2: I don't either, and I but I also don't want

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Speaker 2: to keep score. I don't think that that works in

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Speaker 2: a relationship.

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Speaker 1: And so what are you wondering here? Like?

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Speaker 3: Can I stay with a guy who this is how

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Speaker 3: we're going to do stuff? Like or I guess my

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Speaker 3: other question would be, as long as he doesn't sleep

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Speaker 3: with someone, every is everything he does that that's not

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Speaker 3: nice to you or not good for the relationship. Is

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Speaker 3: he going to throw that one out?

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Speaker 1: You know? Are is he doing the thing I was

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Speaker 1: just talking my birthday?

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Speaker 2: Would he say, oh, well, you slept with somebody.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you shouldn't have gotten with that guy? Are conference which.

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Speaker 2: Is saying, oh, well, you slept with somebody. I don't

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Speaker 2: like it, girl, because it can they can be pushed

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Speaker 2: to something further. And then if I make a small mistake,

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Speaker 2: is he going to say, well, you know, let's think

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Speaker 2: about when you like, slept with somebody. I guess this

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Speaker 2: mistake is not so bad, but you know, it's piling up.

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Speaker 3: I don't I don't like how sorry I left the

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Speaker 3: towel on the ground, But you shouldn't have slept with

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Speaker 3: that guy three years? You know, it's like, and you're right,

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Speaker 3: But at the same time, if you're gonna move on,

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Speaker 3: then you've got to move on. And I under and

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Speaker 3: I know that's easier said than done, much easier said

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Speaker 3: than done. But if that takes months or years or whatever,

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Speaker 3: it is fine. But like I think once you get

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Speaker 3: to the point of relationship where you guys have moved

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Speaker 3: past whatever the issue is, so long as that behavior

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Speaker 3: doesn't return, then that then we're done with that. We

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Speaker 3: work through that. You cannot just continue to bring that up.

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Speaker 3: And it sounds like as opposed to just taking complete

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Speaker 3: ownership of what he did that was wrong. It's what

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Speaker 3: I know, it was wrong, but yours was wronger, which yeah,

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Speaker 3: I don't know, I don't I might argue his was

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Speaker 3: worse if we're going to play that game, which I

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Speaker 3: don't think you were willing to or trying to play.

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Speaker 3: But hey, you having an ongoing emotional relationship, and you

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Speaker 3: wrote in the email, but you felt to mention by

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Speaker 3: the way that this woman at work, the work wife

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Speaker 3: is married to another man. You wrote that in the email,

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Speaker 3: So he was having an extra amount of affair as well.

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Speaker 1: Knowingly it's a lot going on. So and this dude

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Speaker 1: is his hands are not clean here, I don't know

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Speaker 1: one's hands separate ways.

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Speaker 2: So you think at this point and I'd like them

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Speaker 2: to be clean.

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Speaker 3: I would. I don't know if you have to break

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Speaker 3: up with him yet, but I think you have to

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Speaker 3: have a firm conversation, and Keithy doesn't agree with this.

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Speaker 3: I just look on her face. I think you have

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Speaker 3: to have a firm conversation. We were like, look, I

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Speaker 3: messed up. I acknowledge that I came to you. You

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Speaker 3: didn't catch me. I came clean. You forgave me. I'm

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Speaker 3: sure that was hard. We moved on. Now you did this.

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Speaker 3: That's bad. You need to say that's bad. You need

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Speaker 3: to own it. I need to feel like you wantunderstand

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Speaker 3: you made a mistake independent of what I did, and

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Speaker 3: then we're moving on. And if you don't think he

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Speaker 3: can do that, then this relationship will never work. If

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Speaker 3: he realizes, okay, fine, look I can't. You're right, I'm

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Speaker 3: trying to compare these things. They're independent things, they're mutually exclusive.

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Speaker 3: I should have done it, and so I'm sorry. Well,

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Speaker 3: and if you forgive me, then we're moving on together

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Speaker 3: and hopefully this never happens again. Short of that, then

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Speaker 3: this dude is going to make excuses forever.

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Speaker 2: You're right, I really need to just sit him down

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Speaker 2: and say this is what's really bothering me. I think

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Speaker 2: I've probably avoided the conversation, and.

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Speaker 6: Kicky, you don't think you just oh no, she needs

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Speaker 6: to go. They're three years in. They're playing this tiffer

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Speaker 6: tag game. She cheated, he cheated. They sleeping with people

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Speaker 6: at work. This messy.

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Speaker 4: She needs to go.

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Speaker 6: Absolutely, this is a boyfriend, grog, get another one, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean it is interesting that there was the infidelity

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Speaker 3: and that hurt him, I'm sure deeply, as it would anybody,

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Speaker 3: and it was a huge problem, and that you guys

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Speaker 3: work through it, and then he goes and does it

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Speaker 3: like I would think there would be, and an additional

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Speaker 3: sensitivity to that kind of behavior, like it was so

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Speaker 3: bad for me, now I'm gonna go do it. It's

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Speaker 3: almost like he knew that he thought he had a

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Speaker 3: pass or something. It's like in his mind it was like,

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Speaker 3: I can try this out over here because if I

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Speaker 3: get caught, well, remember.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, where did that?

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Speaker 7: She's not gonna go anywhere because, like you said, you

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Speaker 7: did it, No I didn't. We're even kind of thing.

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Speaker 1: That's how he's gonna see it forever.

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Speaker 4: Peige.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna take some phone calls on this and have

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Speaker 3: the radio on of the iHeart app whatever and and

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Speaker 3: let's see what happens. But thank you for sharing and

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Speaker 3: it's a tough one. Good luck, thank you eight five

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Speaker 3: three five.

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Speaker 6: I am she's not innocent either, you know, like she

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Speaker 6: she made her mistakes. But it seems like this guy

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Speaker 6: has kind of been just sitting around plotting on his

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Speaker 6: time to get her back. And he got his lick back,

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Speaker 6: and now it's just like, okay, both be out and

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Speaker 6: messy and cheating.

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Speaker 1: So you need to leave each other.

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Speaker 3: And I think you got choices here, like if you were,

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Speaker 3: if you were betrayed in some way, you either move past,

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Speaker 3: work through it, move past, forgive and then it's not

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Speaker 3: like it never happened. But as far as like ammunition

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Speaker 3: is concerned, it's not fair game anymore. But at the

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Speaker 3: same time, I said, it's you could also just leave too,

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Speaker 3: you know. So if he thought that he had to

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Speaker 3: pass somewhere down the line, then he's then then he

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Speaker 3: should have just laughed, Like if that's.

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Speaker 1: The way he's thinking that, Like can you ever forget?

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Speaker 1: You have to forget. I don't think you forget.

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Speaker 3: You have to forgive, yeah, And you can't just throw

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Speaker 3: it in everywhere, of course, like.

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Speaker 1: You forgot the bananas at the store. You know you can't.

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Speaker 7: But maturing is also like realizing exactly you can't forgive. Like,

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Speaker 7: for example, I would not be able to move past it,

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Speaker 7: bring it up every five minutes, I know I would

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Speaker 7: so maturing I think for me would be realizing I

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Speaker 7: can't be in this relationship anymore, as much as it hurts,

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Speaker 7: I can't do it.

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Speaker 1: You know, you've betrayed me.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, Chasey very quiet here, Yeah, I mean you you can't.

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Speaker 8: I've had experience with this, and you can't if you're

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Speaker 8: going to get over it, you have. You're not going

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Speaker 8: to forget it ever, but you you have to sort

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Speaker 8: of look past it in order to progress, right, if

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Speaker 8: that's what you choose to do. But just like what

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Speaker 8: you're saying, like you can't bring it up again, you

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Speaker 8: can't talk about it again like people did what they did.

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Speaker 8: You chose what you chose, and if it was early

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Speaker 8: on in a relationship and now we're farther down the

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Speaker 8: line and now he decides to do it, like to me,

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Speaker 8: that's a bigger issue because now we have so much

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Speaker 8: more invested.

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Speaker 1: You know, if it's years.

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Speaker 8: Or however long in between, and now you're choosing to

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Speaker 8: do it, so like now we're taking huge steps back,

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Speaker 8: so I don't I don't know if it's possible to continue.

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't love the whole Well mine's not as

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Speaker 3: bad as yours, because honestly, we could get into that

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Speaker 3: if you want to.

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Speaker 1: Like honestly, I.

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Speaker 8: Mean, cheating is cheating to me at the end of

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Speaker 8: the day, like it does not matter who it's with

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Speaker 8: or what the stipulation is.

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Speaker 1: But I don't think he's gonna like the way.

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Speaker 3: I don't like that argument because it's like, well, actually,

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Speaker 3: let's let's break this down. You know, how long was

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Speaker 3: yours going on? What were you talking about? Were you

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Speaker 3: talking about this relationship? Were you talking about that relationship?

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Speaker 3: You know, this is an ongoing thing. This person's still around,

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Speaker 3: this person still, you know what I mean? As opposed again,

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Speaker 3: I have slept with someone. No, I don't know where

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Speaker 3: Steve lives now, you know, I ain't talking to Steve anymore.

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Speaker 3: I hope his name isn't I hope. I don't know

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Speaker 3: if it's Steve, Carl Craig. What's your kid name, Jose?

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Speaker 3: It was Jose Aldo. Hi, good morning, Aldough. Now you

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Speaker 3: are the cheater, but you're on the phone high What

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Speaker 3: do you want to say?

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Speaker 4: When does it end? I mean, if allegedly or assumedly

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Speaker 4: this relationship is moving toward, you know, a marriage. When

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Speaker 4: does the kissy face with a coworker? When does that

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Speaker 4: become not okay? When does the relationship become so involved

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Speaker 4: that it's not okay?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: And when does this cycle stop? You know, like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: he got his So are we done now? I mean,

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Speaker 3: is this the last time we're ever going to talk

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Speaker 3: about this kind of thing?

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Speaker 1: Or no?

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Speaker 4: Right, even you're bested in the relationship and you aren't.

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Speaker 4: I mean, it's sort of like that simple. And if

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Speaker 4: you're not playing catch up or something, either you do

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Speaker 4: wherever you do, it's either helping the relationship or turning

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Speaker 4: the relationship.

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Speaker 3: And why would you have any interest in keeping that

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Speaker 3: is a card? Like why if you've forgiven, which I

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Speaker 3: don't think he has, why would you have any interest

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Speaker 3: in keeping something that's really going to hurt someone as

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Speaker 3: a card to use, you.

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Speaker 1: Know what I mean? Like you would you wouldn't wanted to.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't want to put somebody through what you've been

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Speaker 3: through if you really cared.

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Speaker 4: He hadn't forgiven, if he's got him forgiven that he

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Speaker 4: even brings it up, you know, or anything, because I mean,

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Speaker 4: what's his game plan? Okay, now I've done this, Now

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Speaker 4: what can I do? I'm continuing, you know, with this

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Speaker 4: with this co work girl. We don't know if he's

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Speaker 4: continuing or not, but you know, I sort of suspect,

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Speaker 4: especially if he doesn't see the problem, if he doesn't

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Speaker 4: see what he did, if he doesn't recognize.

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Speaker 1: It, that's a big one for me to do it again.

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Speaker 1: I agree. I agree. Thank you Aldo, thanks for listening,

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Speaker 1: for calling.

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Speaker 4: Okay, thank you.

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Speaker 3: Have a good day, Christina. Christina, you're saying he's not

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Speaker 3: over it.

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Speaker 2: No, he's not.

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Speaker 5: He has not forgiven her. He might have said he

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Speaker 5: forgave her, but he haven't. And he's still even to

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Speaker 5: hold it over her head and he's not over it

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Speaker 5: at all, and he's also using it to you know,

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Speaker 5: manipulate her. Now now he's saying, no, it's okay that

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Speaker 5: I do this stuff because you did it and it's

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Speaker 5: not totally different.

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Speaker 1: So it's over. They got to go.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, because he's trying to make excuses for

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Speaker 5: himself and it's not if he has like basically a

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Speaker 5: relationship with his work life, yeah, which is very different.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you, Christina, have a good day.

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Speaker 5: Yeah you too.

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Speaker 3: Someone text you this is not a tough one, Fred,

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Speaker 3: They have to go the separate ways. I guess the

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Speaker 3: reason I'm saying it's tough is because you're going to

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Speaker 3: have to make an assessment is this is this.

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Speaker 1: How it's always going to be?

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Speaker 3: Or is this he screwed up and he's having a

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Speaker 3: hard time owning it and we have to work through

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Speaker 3: this together and he hasn't fully forgiven me, and is

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Speaker 3: this a guy?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 3: Can we make it through this after three years? And

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Speaker 3: then are we done with this? And there's a lot

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Speaker 3: of things, a lot of presuppositions you have to make.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot of stuff that you got to decide.

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Speaker 3: And my guess would be that between the reef defense,

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Speaker 3: the like the the I guess what's the word I'm

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Speaker 3: looking for sort of the uh, what is it when

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Speaker 3: you the reoffending at least from him to her? And

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Speaker 3: but really for me, it's the lack of ownership and

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Speaker 3: the comparison. It's like, is this how you're gonna operate now? Like, well,

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Speaker 3: mine's not as bad as yours because I didn't, you know,

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Speaker 3: put the thing in the thing. It's like, no, that's worse, right,

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Speaker 3: that's worse or as bad. So why are we doing that?

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Speaker 1: Tiff for town is never gonna work.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so that I guess that's what I'm saying is.

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Speaker 1: Do you walk? Do you want?

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Speaker 3: Because you screwed up and you kind of planted the seed,

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Speaker 3: but yet he forgave you. So I guess you just

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Speaker 3: have to ask yourself, are we gonna do? We need

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Speaker 3: to burn this whole thing down, because you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean, That's why I think it's hard.

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Speaker 1: Let it burn.

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Speaker 3: The Entertainmer Report and show Biz Kiki and Dana a tiebreaker.

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Speaker 3: Next on The Fred Show,