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Speaker 1: This episode contains discussions about mental health, including topics such

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Speaker 1: as depression, anxiety, and suicide. Please take care while listening

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Speaker 1: and consider skipping this episode if you're not in a

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Speaker 1: place to engage with these topics. If you or someone

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Speaker 1: you know is struggling, please reach out to a mental

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Speaker 1: health professional or contact a crisis line. And one more

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Speaker 1: thing before we dive in, I just wanted to say

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Speaker 1: on a personal note, when my husband took his life,

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Speaker 1: A lot of people ask me how he did it,

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Speaker 1: why he did it, did he leave a note? Was

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Speaker 1: he depressed? None of those things are really important, other

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Speaker 1: than to say the leaving behind a family. He left

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Speaker 1: me behind, three children, a mother, siblings. It is the

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Speaker 1: hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my life.

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Speaker 1: People often ask me if he was depressed, and all

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Speaker 1: I can say is, of course he was depressed. The

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Speaker 1: sad part is I didn't see how depressed he was,

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Speaker 1: and for someone to take their life. You know, if

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Speaker 1: you're happy and life is going well, you're enjoying life.

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Speaker 1: You're not looking for a way to exit this earth.

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Speaker 1: So think about that the next time someone you know

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Speaker 1: has or a family friend or whatever has has to

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Speaker 1: deal with suicide. It always involves depression and I wish

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Speaker 1: I had reached out for help and if I had

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Speaker 1: known the severity that I would would have done that. So,

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Speaker 1: you know, I try to make light of it sometimes

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Speaker 1: when people ask me and I say, you know, if

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Speaker 1: you're unhappy in life, most people they'll go out and

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Speaker 1: buy a sports car, they'll have an affair, they'll go

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Speaker 1: buy a fancy watch, or take an expensive trip. People

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Speaker 1: don't think that people are going to take their life

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Speaker 1: when they're unhappy. And it's such a different diagnosis. If

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Speaker 1: you're diagnosed with cancer or you know, a blood disease

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Speaker 1: that takes your life, Suicide is very different because you

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Speaker 1: choose to take your life and leave the people that

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Speaker 1: loved you and cared about you. So I just needed

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Speaker 1: to say that before we get going on this episode today.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: joining us today. We're so excited to be back with

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Speaker 1: another episode today.

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Speaker 2: We absolutely are.

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Speaker 3: Today we're going to be answering more of our fan questions,

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Speaker 3: So make sure guys that you're still submitting them because

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Speaker 3: we love reading them, talking about them, giving our advice

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Speaker 3: and you know how to do it batchelor nation dot com,

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Speaker 3: slash Golden Hour, and just keep them coming.

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Speaker 1: Keep them coming, send us everything. We really love to

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Speaker 1: hear from you, your questions, your comments. We love to

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Speaker 1: get updates on questions that we've answered on prior episodes,

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Speaker 1: so please write into us. You can also DM us

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Speaker 1: on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

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Speaker 2: And people are starting to do that, cav I've noticed.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right, it's time to get into the episode

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Speaker 3: and we're going to start with our favorite part, the

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Speaker 3: Question of the Day.

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Speaker 1: Okay, before we do that, can I just say this,

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Speaker 1: You know, Susan, you know me. I laugh a minute,

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Speaker 1: love to make jokes. But this episode, and for all

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Speaker 1: y'all listening, this is a very close to home subject.

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Speaker 1: For me. Mental health is what we're going to be

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Speaker 1: talking about in this episode. And you all know my

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Speaker 1: husband died by suicide, which is right up the alley

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Speaker 1: of mental health issues. So for me, this is going

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Speaker 1: to hit a little close to home. But we're going

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Speaker 1: to do it, and I hope that this episode is

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Speaker 1: going to help a lot of people struggling with these

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Speaker 1: kinds of issues. So go ahead, start us off with

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Speaker 1: the Question of the Day.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely Kathy, what has it been like seeing how society

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Speaker 3: has evolved when it comes to mental health? How did

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Speaker 3: you manage your mental health when you were younger?

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Speaker 1: Okay, so the first thing I would say is society

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Speaker 1: has evolved. Social media has caused a lot of difficulties

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Speaker 1: for people for many reasons. People seeing the life they

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Speaker 1: want to live, or feeling seeing foma like everyone else

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Speaker 1: is a great life, but I don't, And so much

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Speaker 1: of social media is the life you wish you were living,

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Speaker 1: not really the life you are living, or just posting

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Speaker 1: about the best things in your life. And nobody's life

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Speaker 1: is perfect all the time. I think that's part of

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Speaker 1: the problem. I think the other thing is that we

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Speaker 1: are seeing so much more mental illness in society. We

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Speaker 1: see many more homeless people than when I was growing up,

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Speaker 1: people who have drug and alcohol issues. All of those

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Speaker 1: are issues that come under the umbrella of mental health,

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Speaker 1: and I just think we see more of it. Why.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I think the world has become a

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Speaker 1: more complex, probably a place to live.

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Speaker 3: I do believe though, that society is more aware of

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Speaker 3: mental health. I mean, look at the shootings at the

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Speaker 3: schools and all the things that have happened in the

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Speaker 3: last decade. More people acknowledge and realize mental health is

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Speaker 3: a huge thing, and if you feel like somebody in

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Speaker 3: your family needs help, you get help. Also, as far

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Speaker 3: as social media, there are things out there to help

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Speaker 3: people you know.

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Speaker 1: Well so that are struggle. So you know, and I've

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Speaker 1: said this before, uh when, And I know this is

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Speaker 1: not necessarily a popular thought, but it it is. My

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Speaker 1: husband's gone, been gone for almost six years, and I

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Speaker 1: still hold this to be true. When you have someone

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Speaker 1: who's threatening suicide and they say call a suicide hotline,

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Speaker 1: somebody who's decided to take their life is going to

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Speaker 1: do it, maybe not today.

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Speaker 2: I think when they call those hotlines it's a cry for.

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Speaker 1: Help, yes, but sometimes they're not there. So I think

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Speaker 1: I think it takes a lot of money, effort, resources

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Speaker 1: to deal with mental health. Mental health, like I said,

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Speaker 1: is the big umbrella. And I don't think this is

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Speaker 1: just my opinion. I don't think our society spends enough.

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Speaker 1: And maybe there's lots of reasons for that, but I

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Speaker 1: don't think we spend enough on mental health. And that's

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Speaker 1: why I think kids today have a tougher world than

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Speaker 1: we have. They have a lot more pressure.

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Speaker 3: When I was growing up, I'd never heard of some

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Speaker 3: things like bipolar and people that are medicated and then

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Speaker 3: they feel like they shouldn't take the medicines.

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Speaker 2: They don't like the way they feel.

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Speaker 3: Autism as a as another one that I didn't hear

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Speaker 3: of as a child.

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Speaker 1: Well, autism a mental health issue, that's a yes. But

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Speaker 1: but but your point is well taken that there are

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Speaker 1: that things that are alcohol and drug issues are either

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Speaker 1: more prevalent today or they're just out in the open.

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Speaker 2: Work today much more.

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Speaker 1: Yes, but either way, to address these issues, you know

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Speaker 1: when you when you take someone and you you you

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Speaker 1: throw them in jail. Really it's not they're not criminals.

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Speaker 1: They have mental health issues. So it's you know, you

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Speaker 1: and I aren't about to solve this problem today. But

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Speaker 1: I think when I was younger, you know, how I

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Speaker 1: manage my mental health. I truly played a lot of sports,

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Speaker 1: I read a lot. I kind of the same things

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Speaker 1: I do now. Frankly, Uh, you know, I exercised, I read,

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Speaker 1: I I I hung out with friends. But I think

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Speaker 1: the competition is so much stronger today.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and social media, I mean that's a huge If

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Speaker 3: you're not important on social media, then you're nobody.

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Speaker 1: It's sad people well, and the other thing I think

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Speaker 1: that effects. I mean, there's so many things we could

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Speaker 1: do it, we could write a book, literally, but but

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Speaker 1: the isolation that kids feel today behind their computers, their

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Speaker 1: screens all the time, I think that affects people's mental health.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's just.

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Speaker 3: I'm looking forward to hearing what some of our fans

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Speaker 3: wrote in for this.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, let's get to it then.

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Speaker 2: Okay, do you want to start? All? Right?

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Speaker 1: Here we go. The first question is from anonymous. Hi, ladies,

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Speaker 1: I really need your help. I'm nineteen and my mom

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Speaker 1: does not understand mental health. I've always struggled with what

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Speaker 1: I now know is severe anxiety and OCD. I only

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Speaker 1: recently got a diagnosis. It's been life changing, but it's

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Speaker 1: still very much an uphill battle trying to manage it.

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Speaker 1: I could really use my mom's support, but she thinks

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Speaker 1: it's all made up, which I find really hurtful. I've

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Speaker 1: even allowed my psychiatrists to contact her and talk her

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Speaker 1: through my diagnosis, and she still just doesn't get it.

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Speaker 1: For example, my brother has ADHD, and all she says

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Speaker 1: is if you wanted to focus you would. How do

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Speaker 1: I get her to understand I really need all the

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Speaker 1: support I can get right now, my dad on my side,

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Speaker 1: but won't even try to get through to her. Thanks ladies. Wow,

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Speaker 1: so nineteen. I mean that is a tough age right.

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Speaker 3: There, that is, and her mom just doesn't get it

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Speaker 3: when she blames her for for things.

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Speaker 1: See, I think the mom gets it exactly. I think

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Speaker 1: the mom in denial. No, well, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: don't know her, but I think she looks in the

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Speaker 1: mirror and thinks her kids have these problems because of

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Speaker 1: some way she failed her children.

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Speaker 2: That's what I feel.

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Speaker 1: She feels guilty that she somehow caused these things. And

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Speaker 1: I think parents sometimes.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I've said it to my kids, if you

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Speaker 3: want to focus, you've got to pay attention. You got

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Speaker 3: to pay attention. And here the two of them had

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Speaker 3: a learning disability. And until I went and had them

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Speaker 3: tested and met with the school people, I understood and

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Speaker 3: I felt terrible. I think I think it was dyslexic.

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Speaker 3: She was reading back. Why aren't you getting this, Brittany,

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Speaker 3: She explain it again.

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Speaker 1: The issue of mental health, dyslexia ADHD, these are all

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Speaker 1: behave well dyslexia is educational, neurological, and OCD, and these

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Speaker 1: behaviors come from, you know, different situations in life. The

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Speaker 1: point is, this girl that we're talking about has a

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Speaker 1: psychiatrist and meets your mom. And if the psychiatrist can't

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Speaker 1: get through the mom, I think the mom does know.

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Speaker 1: I think she just can't face it sometimes, which again

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Speaker 1: makes it really tough on the child because it does.

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Speaker 1: Teenagers in this day and age and need a lot

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Speaker 1: of support.

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Speaker 3: And I think lean on your dad more than your mom.

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Speaker 3: You're not going to convince her yourself and it's only

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Speaker 3: going to upset her, so let your dad in.

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Speaker 1: Well, she said, my dad is on, I said, but

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Speaker 1: won't even try to get through to her. You know

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Speaker 1: what I would say to you, anonymous, I would lean

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Speaker 1: on your friends. I know it's tough. I would find teachers,

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Speaker 1: school counselors, someone at church. I would find people that

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Speaker 1: can support you. We all want our parents to be

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Speaker 1: great supporters. Someone think just can't be.

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Speaker 3: And you know, I'm reading material and pamphlets on what

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Speaker 3: it is and have a read them. Denial is not

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Speaker 3: not understanding, it's denying and that what you said in

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Speaker 3: the beginning maybe she feels some certain way that my

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Speaker 3: children have this.

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Speaker 2: Could it have come from me?

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Speaker 1: Right? So that's what I'm saying. I don't think she's

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Speaker 1: denying it. I think she can't face it because she's

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Speaker 1: blaming herself. The mom's blaming herself. But sweetie, I hate

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Speaker 1: that you're feeling not supported. Uh So I would really

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Speaker 1: encourage you. We all want our parents to support us,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes they just can't. So you need to find

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Speaker 1: some people.

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Speaker 2: Who support you exactly.

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Speaker 1: And that's no hoping, you know, hoping you're on the

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Speaker 1: right medication, hoping that you feel better. And teenagers are tough.

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Speaker 1: It will get easier as you get older.

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Speaker 3: It well, okay, thank you Another anonymous, Hi, Kathy and Susan.

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Speaker 3: I need some help with my son. He's fourteen and

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Speaker 3: really struggles with trying to regulate his stress or his emotions.

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Speaker 3: He has so many outbursts and fights with me and

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Speaker 3: my husband constantly. Is this really just what teenagers are like?

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Speaker 3: I have no idea how to talk to him. I've

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Speaker 3: tried to encourage him seeing a therapist or use his

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Speaker 3: time at the gym to get his stress out, but

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Speaker 3: it always results in him shutting down and locking himself

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Speaker 3: in his room.

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Speaker 2: What do I do? Thanks so much?

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Speaker 1: So again this pret professional.

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Speaker 2: I think he needs this.

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Speaker 1: Mom, you need to take charge here. He's fourteen, teenage.

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Speaker 1: You're right on all accounts, Yes, Anonymous, it is teenagers.

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Speaker 1: It is teenagers. However, that doesn't mean that he doesn't

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Speaker 1: need help. It doesn't mean that he's going to be

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Speaker 1: fine and he's going to outgrow it. Again, Susan and

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Speaker 1: I are not.

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Speaker 3: Therapist, have some serious issues that he might need medication

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Speaker 3: or at least somebody to medically to assess him.

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Speaker 1: Right. So, when she says I've been trying to encourage

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Speaker 1: me to see a therapist, Anonymous, No, no, No, you

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Speaker 1: are the parent. You make the appointment with a therapist.

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Speaker 1: You pick your son up from school, you take him

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Speaker 1: into the office, and you know what, he may sit

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Speaker 1: there and clam up and say nothing to this man

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Speaker 1: or woman whoever the therapist is for two or three weeks,

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Speaker 1: but eventually.

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Speaker 2: Once he feels once.

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Speaker 1: He feels like he can trust the person. And that's

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Speaker 1: what they're trained to do, is get kids trust. What

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't do is do nothing. That's what I.

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Speaker 3: Would not absolutely not so be full blown depression it

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Speaker 3: could have anger issues. I mean, you don't know. We're

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Speaker 3: not doctors. People study this and they know.

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Speaker 1: You know, I said this was a hard topic for me.

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Speaker 1: I will say teenagers love them. I have, I have

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Speaker 1: three of them. They can be total pains in the

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Speaker 1: ass Anonymous. But having said that, you can't always chalk

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Speaker 1: up a child's behavior to being a pain in the

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Speaker 1: ass teenager.

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Speaker 2: So once again, don't assume.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I would. I'd get some help from him,

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Speaker 1: and don't ask him if he wants to go, you know,

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Speaker 1: take him. You're the parent, be the parent, get.

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Speaker 3: Picture, and you want to do it now because he's fourteen.

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Speaker 3: If you wait till eighteen, you don't know what happens now.

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Speaker 1: If you had to l eighteen, If you wait till eighteen,

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Speaker 1: you have no control. They are legal adults. You can't

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Speaker 1: force him to do anything exactly. Okay, let's go to question.

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Speaker 1: Our next question is from another anonymous. Hi, Susan and Cathy.

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Speaker 1: I have no idea where to start, and I need help.

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Speaker 1: I just found out that my husband has been living

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Speaker 1: a secret life. He has another family across the country

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Speaker 1: in the city where he has his quarterly conferences. If

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Speaker 1: those are even real he has a fiance and a

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Speaker 1: son with this other woman. I found out after snooping

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Speaker 1: through his laptop, following my gut that something was off.

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Speaker 1: Now he has no idea that I know. What do

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Speaker 1: I do next? Thanks, ladies, Susan, do not get your

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Speaker 1: baseball bat out.

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Speaker 2: That's so hurtful. Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: You have to sit them down and let him know,

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Speaker 3: you know, I mean, I'm not the one that's going

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Speaker 3: to blame you.

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Speaker 1: You know what I would do if that woman.

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Speaker 3: Doesn't know either, I'm certain you need to sit him down.

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Speaker 2: It's over. I can tell you that.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm not. I'm that's that's uh, you know that's why. Well, no,

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Speaker 1: what I would do if it were me, I would

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Speaker 1: go to a therapist and I would explain to the

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Speaker 1: therapist what's happened and ask a therapist how's the best

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Speaker 1: way to handle it? Because I would be angry, hurt

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Speaker 1: all of the things, and and I wouldn't trust myself

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Speaker 1: to sit down in a calm way. And furthermore, you

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Speaker 1: don't know what his reaction is going to be. You

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Speaker 1: don't know what's going to happen when you tell him,

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Speaker 1: so I might, I don't know I'm just saying that

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Speaker 1: could be a very volatile situation. So I would I

300
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Speaker 1: might say, you know, Johnny, whatever your husband's name is,

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Speaker 1: I'm having an issue. I'm having an issue, and I

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Speaker 1: would like you to come with me to talk to

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Speaker 1: a therapist about it. Well, you know, I would try

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Speaker 1: to get him into a therapist's office and have the

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Speaker 1: third party break the news and have conversation in the office.

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Speaker 1: That's what I would do.

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Speaker 3: I would fly the girl in and say, let's the

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Speaker 3: three of us talk.

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Speaker 1: You are you serious?

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Speaker 2: Of dead serious?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. I swear to god I can never

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Speaker 1: be Italian ever. Because I swear, I mean, I could

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Speaker 1: never do half the stuff you say in you're Italian?

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Speaker 2: So I mean, of course.

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Speaker 3: Hasn't told him that she knows. So that's very strong

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Speaker 3: of her right now, because you react and she has it.

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Speaker 3: She's sleeping with this, she's thinking about it that hopefully

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Speaker 3: she has time to find her calm and accept what's happening.

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Speaker 2: But for me, that marriage is over.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I see, I can't even get there. I'm her

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Speaker 1: choice of words. He has a fiance, no, no, darling,

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Speaker 1: he has a wife and a concubine. She's not a

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Speaker 1: fiancee because he's married to you, so you cannot have

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Speaker 1: two wives. The fact that he has a child with her.

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Speaker 1: I have to be honest, anonymous, you are not the

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Speaker 1: first wife who has a husband there. Can I just

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Speaker 1: this is a tough episode. Can I just lighten it?

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Speaker 1: When I lived in Houston, my dentist, there were I'm

329
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Speaker 1: not going to mention their names. There were two players

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Speaker 1: on the Houston Rockets basketball team. I'm sorry, one player

331
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Speaker 1: on the Houston Rockets team who had two wives, two

332
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Speaker 1: families living in Houston. I didn't know it, but one

333
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Speaker 1: day I was in the dentist's office and the wife

334
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Speaker 1: number one is there with her kids, and all of

335
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Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm in the chair and I hear this commotion.

336
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Speaker 1: Who did that? Get him out of here? Like, I'm like,

337
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Speaker 1: I really hadn't. I was getting scared. I said, I

338
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Speaker 1: was kind of friends with my hygienist. So she said

339
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:01,400
Speaker 1: to me, it's his other family that they have strict

340
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,840
Speaker 1: instructions to never book them. They know they knew each

341
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Speaker 1: other existed, to never book them on the same day.

342
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Speaker 1: So they walk in they were on the waiting room.

343
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Speaker 1: I almost choked on the toothpaste. I had to walk out.

344
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Speaker 1: Can I tell you the receptions that booked them? She

345
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,720
Speaker 1: was fired on the spot for everybody. I mean, so

346
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Speaker 1: what happens is my point.

347
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Speaker 2: Yes it does.

348
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Speaker 1: But whether you're children, so whether exactly so, whether your

349
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:35,520
Speaker 1: marriage is over or not, it's immaterial until you two

350
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:40,160
Speaker 1: can focus on the break in trust and his lack

351
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Speaker 1: of integrity and blah blah blah, all of those important things.

352
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Speaker 1: But I think you need professional help to deal with that.

353
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Speaker 1: I don't think that's something you tackle on your own.

354
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Speaker 3: It depends on who she is and how strong of

355
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Speaker 3: a woman she is, you know, how bad. Yeah, if

356
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Speaker 3: you're not going to fly off the handle and kill them, I.

357
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Speaker 1: Think an anonymous I'm sorry, Yeah, we're sorry. I know

358
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Speaker 1: that we're sorry. Let us know, let us know what happens.

359
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 1: The fact that your gut was telling you something was off.

360
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:12,560
Speaker 1: It's probably been going on a whole lot longer than

361
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Speaker 1: you think it as And you know what, there might

362
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 1: be another one. I mean, he might just be a profliga.

363
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Speaker 1: What's just he's got women in every town. Whatever, So

364
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:24,120
Speaker 1: figure it out.

365
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Speaker 2: All right, Kathy.

366
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Speaker 3: Instead of a game today, we wanted to end off

367
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Speaker 3: this episode a little more like.

368
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Speaker 1: Oh, thank goodness, this was a tough one.

369
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Speaker 3: So we're going to be just answering some questions about

370
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Speaker 3: us and our friendship so you all can get to

371
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Speaker 3: know us a little bit better, and we're going to

372
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Speaker 3: switch off reading the questions, but we'll both answer every.

373
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Speaker 2: One of them.

374
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Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to start us off. What's a fond

375
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:05,679
Speaker 3: memory you have from when you first became a parent.

376
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Speaker 1: Oh? For me, it was holding my first son, my

377
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,439
Speaker 1: first child, for the very first time, looking at my

378
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 1: husband and realizing we created this beautiful human name. I'll

379
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:18,320
Speaker 1: never forget it.

380
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,199
Speaker 3: Mine was a daughter and that's exactly right. It was

381
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 3: in that hospital looking how beautiful and she was perfect

382
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 3: in her hair, and she had ten fingers and ten toes.

383
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Speaker 2: We did this, we did.

384
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Speaker 1: And you know, Susan, I remember my oldest son was

385
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 1: born ten days early and he was fourcept delivery, so

386
00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 1: he was red and you know, and I still laugh

387
00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,360
Speaker 1: about this. When he came out, I said, oh my god,

388
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:47,439
Speaker 1: he's the most beautiful baby. I feel so sorry for

389
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Speaker 1: parents who are of a beautiful child. And I thought,

390
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 1: I went back and looked at the pictures and he

391
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 1: was born. Oh, my god, he was the most he

392
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 1: got something the cat dragged in.

393
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Speaker 2: That was my Christopher. He was only three fans. I go, oh,

394
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Speaker 2: my god, he looks like a chicken.

395
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I didn't say that. I just thought anyway,

396
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:06,720
Speaker 1: being a parent, especially for the first time again. All right,

397
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 1: if you could give your thirty year old self one

398
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:13,560
Speaker 1: piece of advice, what would it be?

399
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,760
Speaker 2: Trust your instincts.

400
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 1: That's a good one. Uh. Mine would be you got

401
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 1: a lot of life left to live in brain every minute.

402
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't sweat the small stuff. All right.

403
00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 3: What's a passion or hobby you picked up after turning fifty?

404
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: Dating?

405
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:36,560
Speaker 2: Golfing to play golf?

406
00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:43,760
Speaker 1: No, I was kidding about dating, Oh, passion? Oh, pickleball?

407
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,919
Speaker 2: Yeah.

408
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 1: Boxing, I didn't. I couldn't stick with it too long. Boxing,

409
00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,679
Speaker 1: I don't know those two for sure. Definitely not cooking,

410
00:23:55,720 --> 00:24:02,360
Speaker 1: I can tell you that. All right. What's one misconception? Oh?

411
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,679
Speaker 1: Oh you alive. I have the same answer on this.

412
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 1: We're gonna have the same answer. What's one misconception people

413
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:11,560
Speaker 1: often have about women in their sixties?

414
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 2: Are we think of the same I think we're done.

415
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:16,399
Speaker 2: We're never done.

416
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 1: Oh. Mine is more specific that women over sixty don't

417
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 1: like sex. That is a misconception.

418
00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 3: Oh my god, yeah, sorry, are you kidding me? It's

419
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 3: better at sixty than it was at forty.

420
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 1: I mean, that's just funny. I think. Yeah, I think

421
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 1: people don't understand women in their sixties unless they date

422
00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:45,440
Speaker 1: one or are married to one. Okay, all right, what's.

423
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 3: Your proudest accomplishment that no one ever asks you about?

424
00:24:55,920 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: Uh? You know what? Oh, well, you know, back to

425
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,439
Speaker 1: the serious stature of this thing. I came from a

426
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 1: pretty abusive family. Not pretty, very abusive. My mother was

427
00:25:06,960 --> 00:25:11,160
Speaker 1: very abusive. But people, if they don't.

428
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 2: Know it, would ask.

429
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,199
Speaker 1: Yeah. So the people that don't know, my friends know.

430
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 1: But my protest accomplishment is that I didn't fall into

431
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,960
Speaker 1: the abusive trap and abuse my children the way she

432
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 1: abused me. I was a really good parent. I wasn't

433
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 1: a perfect parent, my kids will tell you.

434
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:31,960
Speaker 2: But my kids, my kids.

435
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 1: Oh, they're loved and cared for her. So that's my

436
00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:36,360
Speaker 1: proudest accomplishment.

437
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:38,439
Speaker 2: All right, what's something about your.

438
00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:41,040
Speaker 1: Excuse me, what's your protest accomplishment.

439
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 3: Well, it's not my accomplishment that nobody ever asked. Everybody

440
00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 3: has always asked. Whatever I've done. I've never had nobody

441
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 3: not ask.

442
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 1: So well, if they didn't ask, you were willing to

443
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 1: tell them. All right, I'm going to tell all right,

444
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 1: go on, it's.

445
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,960
Speaker 3: Something about your co host that would be me that

446
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:08,119
Speaker 3: would surprise new listeners.

447
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:13,959
Speaker 1: I don't want to say it. I'll tell you later. No,

448
00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 1: it's not a bad thing. It's just you know, it's

449
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 1: I don't think you'd want listeners to know it. Uh,

450
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 1: let me think I came up with a light one hat.

451
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,320
Speaker 3: I have something about you I think about you that

452
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 3: would surprise new listeners. She's definitely not as hard as

453
00:26:30,119 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 3: she seems. Sometimes it's got a huge heart.

454
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,280
Speaker 1: Thank you. I was What I was going to say,

455
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 1: is that, Susan, is that people always say you're kind

456
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,600
Speaker 1: and easy going and lovely, and you are all those things,

457
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,160
Speaker 1: but you're not as easy going as people think you are.

458
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:53,440
Speaker 1: Am I right, No, you're not. It's not an insult.

459
00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 1: I'm saying you like things done a certain way. Oh

460
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 1: come on, I'm just as far as my house. No,

461
00:27:01,480 --> 00:27:06,320
Speaker 1: just in general, like you are you come across. Yes,

462
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: you're type A people think of you. Oh I love

463
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,480
Speaker 1: people say me all the time. I love Susan, she's

464
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:12,160
Speaker 1: a go with the.

465
00:27:12,119 --> 00:27:15,159
Speaker 2: Flow a listeners wouldn't know that about me.

466
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,680
Speaker 1: I think new. I think most people think you are

467
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: and you are fun and jovial and have a big

468
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:25,360
Speaker 1: heart and love to live and life, live life big.

469
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 2: But you also I like ignorance, and don't you.

470
00:27:30,359 --> 00:27:33,320
Speaker 1: Like like you like things structured and regimented some I

471
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 1: just think people would be surprised to know that. Okay,

472
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,120
Speaker 1: all right? Uh if you had to describe your co

473
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: host in three words, what would they be? Uh? Go ahead,

474
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 1: you want to go first?

475
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:54,400
Speaker 2: Okay? Funny, direct, and.

476
00:27:54,440 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 1: Con Okay, those are I actually think those are fair.

477
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 1: I would say for you, uh, bubbly. I would also

478
00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: say kind and empathetic.

479
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 2: Oh that's a curse. Yes, you are.

480
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:20,360
Speaker 1: Sometimes too much. But before though, all right, we're gonna

481
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 1: keep going here.

482
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 3: What's the biggest difference between you two?

483
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 2: And what one thing you're weirdly similar about?

484
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,680
Speaker 1: I mean, the biggest difference right now, Susan has a

485
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 1: boyfriend and I don't. But we're gonna remedy that.

486
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:39,520
Speaker 3: To me of the biggest differences, I love food. I

487
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 3: like that well, I enjoy I live to eat. And

488
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 3: Kathy is the polar opposite. She doesn't care, she doesn't cook,

489
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,520
Speaker 3: and everything tastes the same. It's beyond me.

490
00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: That's true, Olthough I do like twelve for nice meal. Susan,

491
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: I do be.

492
00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 3: Weirdly similar about how important friendships are, how important.

493
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:04,040
Speaker 1: People, yes, and how important people are in our life.

494
00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: And I honestly think we're both very empathetic. I do.

495
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, go ahead.

496
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 1: What's a memorable moment you two have shared that made

497
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 1: you realize you had a special connection.

498
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 2: How much time do we have?

499
00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, oh my god, there's been

500
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 1: some funny ones, like the day in Florida when you

501
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:27,360
Speaker 1: made me go go with you, the date in Saint

502
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: Martin when you met Frederica made me.

503
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,880
Speaker 2: Go with you French, Spanish and English.

504
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think anybody who go with.

505
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:38,360
Speaker 2: You as your guest for your son's wedding.

506
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you official, that was very memorable. I would say, uh,

507
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 1: we're getting ready to take a cruise. That's gonna be.

508
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 1: That's gonna be a lot of memorable.

509
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:50,960
Speaker 2: Next week we'll talk about that.

510
00:29:51,160 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, all right, what's your favorite drink to have

511
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: at a nice bar or restaurant, Kathy.

512
00:29:58,320 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 1: Let's answer for each other.

513
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 2: Dirty water, ranch water.

514
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: I drink ranch water, which is tequila, soda and lime,

515
00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 1: or I'll drink vodka. Susan is a grandma, die girl.

516
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 1: She will drink right wine wine.

517
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 2: I know, I know you Martini, French Martina.

518
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: Yes, a seven? Well you called what's a seven? Six

519
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 1: eight or something?

520
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:24,120
Speaker 2: What do they call? That's Jones? That's Jones?

521
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,520
Speaker 1: Oh whatever? Yes, all right. What's a belief or opinion

522
00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: you owe? What's a belief or opinion you've changed your

523
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: mind about over the years?

524
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 2: I know mine, what's yours? Hooking up?

525
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: What about it?

526
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 2: I now know what it really means.

527
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,640
Speaker 3: I used to think it was just you know, as

528
00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:47,320
Speaker 3: and somebody it's sex, and I had no idea.

529
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 2: So I've changed my opinion.

530
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 1: I think I French. You know that thing is called

531
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: a French seventy five. I just came to make yes,

532
00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:02,880
Speaker 1: that's what it's called a French seventy five. Okay. I

533
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: think I'm not sure that I've I've changed my belief

534
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,280
Speaker 1: I've just become a lot softer and a lot more

535
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 1: understanding and tolerant of people's opinions. I think when I

536
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 1: was younger, you know, I was. I know the right

537
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: way it should be. Now, I'm like, I'm tolerant people.

538
00:31:20,200 --> 00:31:22,400
Speaker 1: You're entitled to your belief, You're entired to your opinion.

539
00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,080
Speaker 1: I'm not going to spend a lot of time trying

540
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,720
Speaker 1: to convince somebody that I'm right. I'm right for me,

541
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:28,640
Speaker 1: maybe not for them.

542
00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 2: What's something you're still learning about yourself? Even now?

543
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 1: I think I think just how I can be the

544
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 1: best version of myself every day and other people see it.

545
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: I don't know what would you say?

546
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:58,080
Speaker 2: What I'm still learning about me?

547
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, is.

548
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 3: I've always been okay with me and never realized it,

549
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 3: and I'm learning how I can be okay with who

550
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 3: I am.

551
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess okay.

552
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 1: Oh wait, I have to say, well, I'm sorry to interrupt.

553
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 1: I just it just hearted me. You you you triggered

554
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:26,680
Speaker 1: me when you said that. I think I'm learning that

555
00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 1: I am stronger than I ever thought I was and

556
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 1: still learning that I can still I can still grow,

557
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,640
Speaker 1: be stronger and have a soft side to me too.

558
00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 2: I agree with that.

559
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 3: What does success mean to you today compared to when

560
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 3: you were younger.

561
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 1: I think when we were younger, it was about having

562
00:32:50,040 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 1: a great career, making money, having the expensive toys or

563
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 1: the nice toys or the nice trips. What does success

564
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:57,320
Speaker 1: mean to you today?

565
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:01,760
Speaker 2: Just what it always has You succeed.

566
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:04,880
Speaker 3: Do you go try to do something and you succeed

567
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 3: at it.

568
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 2: That's what it is. I don't think it's changed for me.

569
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 1: Success today means what we alluded to earlier. Seeing my

570
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,600
Speaker 1: children be good human beings, give back to their community.

571
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 1: It makes me realize that I was a successful parent.

572
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,680
Speaker 1: That you know. It's not about accumulation anymore. It's about

573
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 1: passing the torch to my kids. All right, what's a risk? Oh,

574
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: if you don't have to answer this one, Susan, what's

575
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,880
Speaker 1: a risk you took that paid off in ways you

576
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 1: never expected? I want you to think there's only one

577
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: answer here, Oh dear, Can I answer it for you?

578
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 1: For Frederic fer what's a risk you took? Let let

579
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:51,720
Speaker 1: me let me be a little more clear for you

580
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,960
Speaker 1: for the rest of the world. Going to meet a

581
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:58,240
Speaker 1: man in a bar in a strange country that you

582
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,160
Speaker 1: didn't speak the same life language.

583
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 2: And and you fell in love.

584
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 1: That is a big risk and it paid off in

585
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,600
Speaker 1: ways you never expected. You have a man you love

586
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:14,879
Speaker 1: in Saint Martin. What's what's a risk I took going

587
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,760
Speaker 1: to the bar with you, hoping he had a brother,

588
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: and he didn't. It didn't pay off. Okay, what legacy

589
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 1: are feeling to you hope listeners walk away with after

590
00:34:25,800 --> 00:34:26,879
Speaker 1: each episode?

591
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 2: My feeling is I hoped.

592
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:33,600
Speaker 3: I hope every time that we helped whoever sent in

593
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:37,279
Speaker 3: these questions and the people that we have on our

594
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 3: guests that come and chat with us, that we made

595
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 3: them feel good and proud of who they are.

596
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:46,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with all that, and I would yeah,

597
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 1: we left, but I would add that that people, except

598
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:54,920
Speaker 1: maybe the exception of this episode, which is still very important,

599
00:34:55,400 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 1: people walk away feeling entertained and happy. We brought some

600
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:04,120
Speaker 1: joy laughter into their life for the half hour, and

601
00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:06,920
Speaker 1: maybe they got some good advice, They got to know

602
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:09,359
Speaker 1: us better, they had some fun, you know, without it

603
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:12,000
Speaker 1: didn't cost them anything but turning on there. But I

604
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:15,160
Speaker 1: want to say that, and that's that's valuable, right. I

605
00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:19,319
Speaker 1: would say though, before we wrap this up, you know,

606
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 1: mental health is unfortunately still somewhat of a taboo subject.

607
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 1: It's better than it used to be, but anybody out

608
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 1: there struggling.

609
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,680
Speaker 2: Talk about it themselves.

610
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 1: Or with a partner, or your children get help, just

611
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 1: talk about its help from someone.

612
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 2: And you know what. Thank you everybody for joining us today.

613
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,919
Speaker 3: This was not as easy as all of our other

614
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 3: episodes because we like to have fun, but this is

615
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,760
Speaker 3: very serious and we take it very serious.

616
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, so be sure to follow Bounce our Happy Hour

617
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 1: because we have new episodes coming out every week and

618
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 1: we promise to bring the fun back next time. We promise, we.

619
00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 2: Do, yes, we do.

620
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:08,680
Speaker 3: Make sure you're submitting your questions to us and you

621
00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,320
Speaker 3: know how to do it. Go to bachelornation dot com,

622
00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:15,920
Speaker 3: slash Golden Hour, or dm us on Instagram at Bachelor

623
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:16,640
Speaker 3: Happy Hour.

624
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 1: Listen to bauchel Our Happy Hours Golden Hour on the

625
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,959
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts. Until next time,

626
00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:25,160
Speaker 1: have a great week.

627
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:30,360
Speaker 2: See you