Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central.
Speaker 2: Wow from New York City, the only city in America.
Speaker 2: It's the show, the said News. It's The Daily.
Speaker 3: Show with your home Sarah Dover Sarah.
Speaker 4: It is a big night. The sad strike is over, okay,
Speaker 4: which means Hollywood can finally get back to what they
Speaker 4: do best, turning your children gay. Well, we've got a
Speaker 4: great show for you tonight. So let's get right into
Speaker 4: the big election news with the Daily Show's democracy for
Speaker 4: the presidential election is less than a year away. Can
Speaker 4: you even believe it? I know, I'm so excited. I
Speaker 4: wish I was dead. And last night was a big
Speaker 4: night for Republican candidates. First, the front runner, Donald Trump,
Speaker 4: took a break from his six thousand criminal trials to
Speaker 4: speak at a rally in Florida, where he made up
Speaker 4: a very touching moment.
Speaker 2: Every time the radical left, Democrats, Marxist communists, and fascists
Speaker 2: indicte me, they indicted me.
Speaker 5: Can you believe my.
Speaker 4: Father and mother are looking down son? How did that happen?
Speaker 1: We're so proud of your son. How did that happen?
Speaker 4: A couple quick corrections. They never said they were proud
Speaker 4: of him and they were definitely not looking down. By
Speaker 4: the way, Am I crazy? Or is Donald Trump's face
Speaker 4: melting and congealing all at once? I mean it was
Speaker 4: always weird, but now it's so like sweaty and golden,
Speaker 4: you know, like you know on cartoons, bugs Bunny would
Speaker 4: be hungry and suddenly someone's face would turn into a
Speaker 4: chicken leg. He's right there, you know, God, I'm starving.
Speaker 4: But while Trump was dealing with his daddy issues, the
Speaker 4: rest of the GOP field was down the road at
Speaker 4: a primary debate, and things got pretty fiery right off
Speaker 4: the bat between vi Vaikramaswami and Nikki Helly.
Speaker 6: Ramaswamy repeatedly going after Nicki Haley, do you want a
Speaker 6: leader from.
Speaker 7: A different generation who's going to put.
Speaker 1: This country first?
Speaker 4: Or do you want Dick Cheney in three inch heels?
Speaker 8: Yes, I'd first like to say they're five inch heels
Speaker 8: and I don't wear them unless you can run on them.
Speaker 6: When asked whether they would support a ban on TikTok
Speaker 6: or not be a tax, quickly turned person there.
Speaker 7: While her own daughter was actually using the app for
Speaker 7: a long time. So you might want to take care
Speaker 7: of your family first. Read if you want one adult bottle.
Speaker 7: The next generation of Americans are using it. And that's
Speaker 7: actually the point you have. Her supporters are propping her up.
Speaker 7: That's fine, here's the truth.
Speaker 4: Here's an easy answer. Wow, that was so many petty insults.
Speaker 4: Donald Trump may not have been there, but I believe
Speaker 4: he was looking down at them and saying, I am
Speaker 4: so proud of you. Sure to be fair of Vivake
Speaker 4: Ramaswami is really annoying. I mean, I have to admit
Speaker 4: he does have big dick energy, but it's only because
Speaker 4: he's a huge dick. I mean, Nikki Haley was America's
Speaker 4: top diplomat at the United Nations. She literally kept her
Speaker 4: cool with the worst dictators in the world, and eight
Speaker 4: minutes on stage with Vivake and she's like, you are gone.
Speaker 4: He is so insufferable. He should just lean into it,
Speaker 4: you know. He should say, make me president so I
Speaker 4: can annoy our enemies for America. He'll have one meeting
Speaker 4: with Vladimir Putin and twenty minutes later Putin will mysteriously
Speaker 4: kill himself. He'll be like, excuse me, I must accidentally
Speaker 4: fall out window. Now. Now it wasn't just bickering last
Speaker 4: night There was also a lot of substance. The candidates
Speaker 4: disagreed on whether to keep giving aid to Ukraine, on
Speaker 4: whether abortion should be left up to the States, and
Speaker 4: on whether it's possible to be forty five years old
Speaker 4: and still not know how to smile. But one thing
Speaker 4: that almost all the candidates agreed on is being horny
Speaker 4: for war.
Speaker 7: I would be telling Bbe finish the job once and
Speaker 7: for all with these butchers Hamas.
Speaker 8: The first thing I said to him when it happened
Speaker 8: was I said, finish them, finish them.
Speaker 3: I would tell President Biden with great clarity, you have
Speaker 3: to strike in Iran.
Speaker 9: If we are going to deter China from evading Taiwan.
Speaker 9: The only way we're going to do it is to
Speaker 9: make sure that they don't know whether how many nuclear
Speaker 9: submarines from the United States of America are ready to
Speaker 9: strike on them if they decide to move on Taiwan.
Speaker 1: I am going to send troops to our southern border.
Speaker 1: If someone in the drug cartels is sneaking.
Speaker 10: Fence and all across the border when I'm present, that's
Speaker 10: going to be the last thing they do. We're going
Speaker 10: to shoot them stone cold dead.
Speaker 4: I wear heels or not for a fashion statement. They're
Speaker 4: for ammunition. Your heels are ammunition. Where do you buy
Speaker 4: those things? Foot blocker, whatever, it's my last day. It
Speaker 4: doesn't feel they're going to applause. It was a terrible joke,
Speaker 4: but it really seems like these people only know how
Speaker 4: to do one thing. Their solution is always war. Meanwhile,
Speaker 4: we need shit fixed here. Do we need to convince
Speaker 4: you that, like Iran is putting potholes in the streets
Speaker 4: for you to fix them, Like oh no, North Korea
Speaker 4: is aiming a missile at affordable healthcare. But look, the
Speaker 4: debate wasn't all about fighting in war. In fact, it
Speaker 4: ended with a surprising romantic twist.
Speaker 10: One more fun thing and we haven't seen this before.
Speaker 10: Tim Scott's girlfriend, Mindy was on the stage at the
Speaker 10: end of the debate. We got to see her for
Speaker 10: the first time. The reporters asked, is this the girlfriend?
Speaker 10: He said yes, and they've been dating for about a year,
Speaker 10: so that mystery is over. And he took her up
Speaker 10: on stage, took a couple of pictures and there's Mindy,
Speaker 10: tim Scott's girlfriend.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 4: Aw, it's so sweet man. You know you look for love,
Speaker 4: your whole life and you finally find it with a
Speaker 4: respectable looking woman just two months before the Iowa Caucus.
Speaker 4: I mean, what are the odds he should have just
Speaker 4: he really should have just proposed right there, got down
Speaker 4: on one knee, like mindy, would you make my campaign
Speaker 4: manager the happiest man alive. It's just too bad for
Speaker 4: Tim that he had to get this non union actor
Speaker 4: to play his girlfriend. I mean, if he had just
Speaker 4: waited one more day for the strikedown, he could have
Speaker 4: gotten a professional actor, fake girlfriend. Honestly, why do we
Speaker 4: make Tim Scott have to do this? Why can't a
Speaker 4: single guy be president? I mean, are they worried that
Speaker 4: the Oval office is going to be full of like
Speaker 4: fight club posters and piss bottles? For more analysis of
Speaker 4: last night's debate, we sent not one, but two two
Speaker 4: correspondents to report on it. So let's go to Desi
Speaker 4: Leidick and do I'll say slum love.
Speaker 5: Ian.
Speaker 4: Okay, Deasi, you're in the spin room and Duel say,
Speaker 4: I think we sent you to the debate hall.
Speaker 11: Now, why would not go on to all expenses pay
Speaker 11: Tripsami and then go to the debate. Girl'm all trying
Speaker 11: to live I was at a bar eating stone crabs
Speaker 11: doing body shots off a pit bull.
Speaker 8: Oh my god, Du'll say that's so funny. I was
Speaker 8: at a bar doing shots off pit bull.
Speaker 4: Are you guys sure it was pitbull?
Speaker 9: No?
Speaker 4: Twenty percent?
Speaker 11: No, but he was born in Cuba ballet.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 8: But we did just watch the debate five minutes ago
Speaker 8: on double speed, so ask us anything great?
Speaker 4: Great? So first question to both of you, who won
Speaker 4: the debate? Easy?
Speaker 8: Wanna Swami to be that annoying on stage without getting
Speaker 8: punched in the face, that is a win.
Speaker 11: Respectfully, I disagree. The real winner last night was Ron
Speaker 11: de Santis. For this serial killer to go the whole
Speaker 11: debate without turning someone into a skin suit.
Speaker 4: I'm impressed. He is a lot of things, but I
Speaker 4: do not think he's a serial killer. Oh so that's
Speaker 4: just him all that. Moving on, thoughts on Tim Scott
Speaker 4: and his girlfriend.
Speaker 8: I don't like it Sarah going official at a presidential debate.
Speaker 8: It's too much pressure on a girl. I had a
Speaker 8: guy run for president once just to impress me, and
Speaker 8: I was like, how about you in an actual state first,
Speaker 8: then you can take me to red Lobster. Dennis Kucinich.
Speaker 11: I don't know who that is. And look, I love
Speaker 11: seeing this sequel to get out. But I don't care
Speaker 11: if he is a senator. Any fifty eight year old
Speaker 11: man who's never been married is not a catch. He's
Speaker 11: a liability. It's like one of those couches has been
Speaker 11: left on the car, you know, like it might look good,
Speaker 11: but he's got bad bugs.
Speaker 4: And all kinds of stuff in them.
Speaker 11: You gotta think twice before you sit on him.
Speaker 4: Okay, so what's the big takeaway from.
Speaker 8: Well, Honestly, for me, I was impressed by the diversity
Speaker 8: on that stage, with all kinds of people coming together
Speaker 8: to advocate.
Speaker 4: For total war.
Speaker 8: You know, you had a black man, a South Asian woman,
Speaker 8: a South Asian man, a short king, and a piece
Speaker 8: of shit from New Jersey.
Speaker 11: Now my takeaway, I'm accustomed to a president of a
Speaker 11: certain age. You know, none of these candidates were old
Speaker 11: enough for the job. You know, I could see them
Speaker 11: climbing stairs, ride the bike. They can probably choose solid food.
Speaker 11: That's not my president. No, when I look at a president,
Speaker 11: I want to think, oh, are we.
Speaker 4: Going to have to call a priest? Okay, final question,
Speaker 4: do you think this debate will move the needle for
Speaker 4: any of these candidates? No, no, no, no, not ain't
Speaker 4: good at all. No.
Speaker 8: No, Their greatest hope is to maybe get a new
Speaker 8: awful nickname from Donald Trump, because that would prove that
Speaker 8: he knows who they are, something like I don't know Tricky,
Speaker 8: Nikky Haley or Gonna die alone, Tim Scott.
Speaker 4: Why even have the debate then?
Speaker 11: Oh, because the actors were still on strick waited it's
Speaker 11: something new to watch. I mean it was either this
Speaker 11: bullshit of the Golden Bachelor. Oh, ain't nobody trying to
Speaker 11: see that weird ass man talking him?
Speaker 4: Funny looking women?
Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: Well, great coverage as always, says Eliightick. And do you
Speaker 4: all say, sloan, Well, look at the hottest movie of
Speaker 4: the holiday season, Finer Gold. They've been trend these days
Speaker 4: of reviving old bellow movies means like The Exorcist or
Speaker 4: Scream or the twenty twenty election. And now a new
Speaker 4: trailer just dropped for a horror reboot that puts an
Speaker 4: old classic in modern times.
Speaker 1: This winter, too, Evil will be born. Hey nomine vero evilocal.
Speaker 5: Let this woman give birth to the devil's son of
Speaker 5: her top porta infany Oh, hell Satan, hell Satan?
Speaker 4: Knock knock, congrass me, mom, welcome baby uh bilsbub oh?
Speaker 4: Is that Lithuanian? Before we go any further, who do
Speaker 4: I talk to about insurance?
Speaker 1: Leave us woman?
Speaker 5: Oh, we have just birthed the son of Satan.
Speaker 12: Uh okay, sure, but do you have help insurance because
Speaker 12: we don't even know if your plan is going to
Speaker 12: cover this, Like do you have a PPO or an
Speaker 12: HMO or an EPO.
Speaker 10: Or I speak in tongues and I have no idea
Speaker 10: what you were talking about.
Speaker 4: I get that a lot, all right? If you're not
Speaker 4: paying with insurance. Let's see, the fee is going to
Speaker 4: be thirty five, two hundred and fifteen dollars.
Speaker 5: Jesus Christ, shut that baby up.
Speaker 4: Let me take a look at that bill. An Yeah,
Speaker 4: ninety eight hundred for the O b room, eleven seventy
Speaker 4: six for the lab feed. Then the pharmacy charges are here,
Speaker 4: here and here, and we charge you for holding the baby.
Speaker 4: That's actually something we do. Sixty eight hundred for imaging.
Speaker 4: Come on, now, who's being evil? You are so bad?
Speaker 4: Listen until one of you pay? Is this anti crisis
Speaker 4: property of Saint Joseph's Hospital. Excuse me, I go look
Speaker 4: at that Iridia's teeth.
Speaker 9: Pay Remote Pictures presents Goosberry's cooping.
Speaker 4: This is why I wanted to knock up a lady
Speaker 4: in Toronto. Let me come back, will be joining me
Speaker 4: on the chef and I'm fellow.
Speaker 3: Welcome back to the Dani Show.
Speaker 4: My guest tonight is an Emmy winning writer, director, and producer.
Speaker 4: His latest movie is called Please Don't Destroy the Treasure
Speaker 4: of Foggy Mountain. Please welcome, Jed appetite, Hello, interviewe.
Speaker 1: Good to be here with you.
Speaker 4: All right, the strike is over. What have you been
Speaker 4: doing the last one hundred and ninety one days?
Speaker 6: I was exercising and eating, and then I decided to.
Speaker 1: Eat without the exercise.
Speaker 6: I want to get ozepic and I want to take
Speaker 6: it and prove you can gain weight on it. And
Speaker 6: then I was binging. Right, so your home all the time,
Speaker 6: you watch all the shows, and you binge. And then
Speaker 6: I thought to myself, these are all terrible. We don't
Speaker 6: deserve a raise. Oh stop it right, it's not strong enough.
Speaker 1: It's not strong enough.
Speaker 4: Listen, you directors took the first thing I was thrown at.
Speaker 1: That's all we deserve, so please.
Speaker 4: Don't destroy it. Yes, this is the comedy group and
Speaker 4: they've made this move. Did you write it or directly?
Speaker 1: I was a producer.
Speaker 6: I'm only here because of the strike.
Speaker 4: Oh I know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's you get the lame guests. You don't
Speaker 1: get the star, you get the producer. No one wants
Speaker 1: the producer.
Speaker 6: No one wants Darryl Zanik on their show.
Speaker 4: Who's that exactly?
Speaker 6: But it's a very very funny movie with the guys
Speaker 6: from Saturday Night Live.
Speaker 4: What's it about?
Speaker 6: It's about like, okay, there's there's guys, there's a there's
Speaker 6: like a treasure. The plot doesn't matter, Sarah, it's funny.
Speaker 1: It's funny.
Speaker 4: That's all trailer. And I found a little kind of
Speaker 4: Goony's ish.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's very silly and like, you know, it's what
Speaker 6: we all need.
Speaker 1: It's just pure silly.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh boy. And these guys, these kids, Yeah, but they
Speaker 4: met in college. And what were you doing in college?
Speaker 6: Well, I went to USC. I went to a USC
Speaker 6: cinema school.
Speaker 4: No applause usually sails and somebody went there and they
Speaker 4: knew nothing for you zero.
Speaker 1: And I was not good. I was very young.
Speaker 6: I was seventeen when I When I got there, everyone
Speaker 6: was much smarter than me. They love movies more than me,
Speaker 6: so all my little films were the worst ever. Matt Reeves,
Speaker 6: the guy who did the Batman, he was in my
Speaker 6: class and his stuff would look amazing and my stuff
Speaker 6: was embarrassing. So then I'm like not that into it.
Speaker 6: I win the Dating Game?
Speaker 4: Wait stop what so?
Speaker 6: Like you know, I auditioned for the Dating Game as
Speaker 6: you do when you're young, and I win a trip
Speaker 6: to Acapoco. But when you have to go was during finals,
Speaker 6: so I had to decide whether or not to get
Speaker 6: an education or go to Aca Poco.
Speaker 1: There you go there.
Speaker 6: I am okay, wait, let's go back.
Speaker 1: That's my okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah right, look what I did, fresh faced, new skinned jib.
Speaker 1: There was a picture with the ladies. Let's go back
Speaker 1: to the ladies.
Speaker 4: She gets to bring a friend for like.
Speaker 1: Reasons we call it. I think it's a chaperone.
Speaker 6: The it's a chaperone and nothing oh as chaperone.
Speaker 4: Well then it was right. Kevin Neilan was on the
Speaker 4: Dating Game.
Speaker 6: Yeah, many people.
Speaker 1: Steve Martin, pee Wee Herman.
Speaker 6: Yeah, they were all fair faucets really.
Speaker 4: Yes, that's sorry.
Speaker 6: They're going to go on a YouTube search and find
Speaker 6: all of this later.
Speaker 4: So now the strikes over, what are you going to do?
Speaker 4: What's your plan? What are you? What are you doing now?
Speaker 6: Well, I started working on a book because I didn't
Speaker 6: know how long it would laugh. So I'm putting out
Speaker 6: a book called Comedy Nerd, which is a scrap book
Speaker 6: of all my photos.
Speaker 1: And memorabilia from my career.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so I brought some stuff because I don't know
Speaker 6: what to put in the book because I literally have
Speaker 6: like half a million photos in my phone.
Speaker 1: So I thought I would show you. You could tell
Speaker 1: me if it's book worthy.
Speaker 4: Oh, this is so funny.
Speaker 9: Were we go?
Speaker 1: So the first look who it is?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Do you remember what that is?
Speaker 4: Zero recollection of this? I know it's Larry Sanders.
Speaker 6: That's the first time I was ever allowed to direct
Speaker 6: was Larry Sanders Show, and I directed you.
Speaker 1: My first scene was you.
Speaker 6: And what's interesting is you look exactly the same now
Speaker 6: and I look like Bernie Sanders.
Speaker 1: What else did I bring? I think I got more?
Speaker 6: Oh so there's something that was in Gary Shandling's journals.
Speaker 6: When I did the documentary about Gary Shanling. I was
Speaker 6: able to read his journals.
Speaker 4: Take this and put plant it right into your heart.
Speaker 4: Give what you give what you didn't get. That's a
Speaker 4: that's a that's awesome. Yeah, here's what you didn't get.
Speaker 1: That's right. Love more.
Speaker 6: But on the flip side of that, you know, he
Speaker 6: had a big corkboard with all these jokes that some
Speaker 6: of which I don't think he ever tried for obvious reasons.
Speaker 1: But this was one joke I.
Speaker 6: Just thought was weird that I found on his corkboard.
Speaker 6: It says, where were you on nine to eleven? What
Speaker 6: year I've had? Twenty eight bad? Nine eleven. I don't
Speaker 6: think he ever tried it, but it was on a corkboard.
Speaker 1: What else do we have?
Speaker 6: Okay, this is my one of my first jobs ever.
Speaker 6: That's me in the green shorts. Now, that's Paul Simon
Speaker 6: live in Central Park pregame show for HBO with Dennis
Speaker 6: Miller right there.
Speaker 4: Okay, and yet doesn't know what they're But.
Speaker 6: It had one of the first jokes I wrote for
Speaker 6: someone else, which I've always been very proud of, which
Speaker 6: is just said, Paul Simon's going to be here pretty
Speaker 6: soon with the thirty eight musicians from around the world.
Speaker 6: It took to replace Art's right.
Speaker 1: That solid shut out.
Speaker 4: But tell everybody please describe.
Speaker 6: We can talk to me about the seventeenth and the
Speaker 6: first four minutes are available on the pachalk and we
Speaker 6: love Hot Richard Pace.
Speaker 4: Now they're taking fourth grade, but you will be right
Speaker 4: bag of you in my time. Yere as hush, but
Speaker 4: you can catch me on the SARS podcast. You episode
Speaker 4: seven Thursday and check out my special someone you Love
Speaker 4: I'm Max, or you could get the album or if
Speaker 4: I'm streaming or whatever the fact, stay tuned next week
Speaker 4: when your host is the amazing Leslie Jones.
Speaker 2: Go sparks shows from the Daily Show podcast universe by
Speaker 2: searching The Daily Show wherever you get your podcasts. Watch
Speaker 2: The Daily Show weeknights at eleven ten Central on Comedy
Speaker 2: Central and stream pull episodes anytime on Fairmount Plus.
Speaker 5: This has been a Comedy Central podcastow