1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: This is the Benn and Ashley I almost famous podcast 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:08,720 Speaker 1: with her Radio Ashley, it's a big day for us. Um, 3 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:12,160 Speaker 1: it's a tough day for our guest, but a big 4 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 1: day for us. Oh my gosh, big, big day. Gonna 5 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:21,319 Speaker 1: be honest, A little nervous for this interview, are you? Yeah? 6 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 1: You know, because I don't know what to expect from 7 00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,560 Speaker 1: this guy anymore. And this guy that I referred to 8 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:30,639 Speaker 1: its Clayton. Clayton. Clayton is here with us today. Clayton 9 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: is joining us today to do a sit down. We're 10 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: gonna talk to him about everything going on in the show. Um. Obviously, UM, 11 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: it's been a well let's let's get his opinion. I 12 00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:43,160 Speaker 1: guess I don't want to put words into his mouth. 13 00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:47,319 Speaker 1: I'm assuming it's been a tough couple of months. One 14 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: of the hardest UM rides as a lead I can remember, 15 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: meaning from really start to finish, it hasn't felt like Um, 16 00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 1: there is a ton of team Colton or team Clayton 17 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:05,720 Speaker 1: switched spots, dang it. Um, you know, And so I 18 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: want to talk to him about I want to hear 19 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: how he's holding up, because that I was always important 20 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: when it comes to a human. It's like, you know, 21 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: nobody here wants anybody to um like her. However, we 22 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,479 Speaker 1: want them to learn their lesson. Yeah, but being held 23 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 1: accountable is definitely something that's necessary. And so let's hold 24 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,480 Speaker 1: Clayton accountable for the things he's done throughout the season, 25 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:32,040 Speaker 1: and especially the conversation with Susie. We'll get his thoughts 26 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:35,759 Speaker 1: here in just a second. Um, actual, let's take a break, 27 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:37,840 Speaker 1: Let's get a glass of water, come back, and let's 28 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: talk to Clayton. All right, well, Clayton is on the line. Clayton, 29 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 1: how do you feel today? You can give us as 30 00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: many words as you need to describe your feelings. Yeah, 31 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: I mean I'm gosh, I mean, woke up with a 32 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: pounding headache, just stressed out. I'm embarrassed. I knew that 33 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,880 Speaker 1: this month was coming. I'd kind of alluded to it 34 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 1: previous weeks, and so yeah, I'm not exactly shocked by 35 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: the reactions online, although it appears that, yeah, I mean, 36 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: it's heavily people are very much against me and favoring her. 37 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:31,040 Speaker 1: But I totally understand now, I totally get what I'm seeing, 38 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: and I think that it's Yeah, I mean, I'm embarrassed. 39 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:36,360 Speaker 1: I wish that I could have seen her side in 40 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 1: that moment um and I I just didn't. In that moment, 41 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: I didn't see her side. I didn't want to see 42 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: her side because I knew if I saw her side 43 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:48,959 Speaker 1: and accepted it, that it was it was. That was 44 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,760 Speaker 1: the end of it, right then and there. And so 45 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: I know we'll jump in this, and I have a 46 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 1: million thoughts already. I'm like, here we go. I'm already 47 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: starting ramble. But I just there's so much that I 48 00:02:57,720 --> 00:02:59,600 Speaker 1: wish that I would have done differently, and I wish 49 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 1: I could have seen her side. But I was when 50 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,480 Speaker 1: she dropped that news on me. I just was crushed 51 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 1: watching this person, and I thought I may get engaged 52 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:09,120 Speaker 1: to essentially say hey, I'm done and it's over and 53 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: there's nothing you can do. And that just my emotions 54 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:16,560 Speaker 1: overcame me and and that's what everyone saw. But essentially, 55 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:22,959 Speaker 1: essentially you're the one to tell her to leave. I mean, 56 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: yes and no, I know that again, like from what 57 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:31,560 Speaker 1: people saw, she she said, you know, hey, I can't 58 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:35,280 Speaker 1: look past this. And then multiple times in that conversation, 59 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,160 Speaker 1: I asked like, can we work past this? And she 60 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,360 Speaker 1: just said, you know, no, I can, I'm not able to. 61 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:42,600 Speaker 1: And so at that point, I realized that there's no 62 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 1: more reason for us to talk like I have tried. 63 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 1: I've asked three or four times to work through this. 64 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,000 Speaker 1: If we can get past this, can we take some 65 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 1: time off camera and talk this through. And she's said, 66 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,640 Speaker 1: you know, I don't think it's gonna change anything, and 67 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: so um at that point, I felt that there was 68 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: no reason to keep it going. And that's when I listen, 69 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: there's no we're not getting anywhere. My emotions, I knew 70 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: were getting the best to me. That's why I told 71 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: him like I apologize, like my for raising my voice, 72 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 1: and I knew that it wasn't productive any longer. It 73 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 1: was too emotional, and I had to step away. Unfortunately, 74 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:16,279 Speaker 1: this isn't a conversation where you can step away and 75 00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:20,000 Speaker 1: revisit the next day, because it's the show. It's like, 76 00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: once she's gone, it's gone, She's done, and that's it. 77 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: And I just I knew I was not nego to 78 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:27,239 Speaker 1: headspace at that place, and I had to just stop 79 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:32,280 Speaker 1: the conversation from continuing. You you say you're not in 80 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,840 Speaker 1: a good headspace. Can we go back? Because I think 81 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: you know you just said you woke up with a 82 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 1: pounding headache. I'm assuming it wasn't from drinking. Um, I'm 83 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: assuming it was from just stress. The stress, the you're 84 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 1: watching it back and now reliving that moment and now 85 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:55,280 Speaker 1: seeing so many people, millions of people watch it last 86 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: night and have opinions on it. Right, Um, we go 87 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,839 Speaker 1: back then for everybody to get some clarity on why 88 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:06,880 Speaker 1: you got so emotional, like why you're inside started to 89 00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,200 Speaker 1: come out, you know, through your mouth in ways that 90 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,080 Speaker 1: you probably wouldn't have wanted. And now you do look 91 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: back and say, you know you regret. Yeah, it's it's 92 00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 1: it's really as I watched it back last night, I 93 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: see it now from the outside and I see her 94 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: a side completely and it's like and to me, I 95 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:29,160 Speaker 1: watched it and I thought, how could you not see 96 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: that in that moment? And I want to say this again. 97 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 1: I just want to be able to provide explanation so 98 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,960 Speaker 1: people can understand my thought process, because my thought process 99 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 1: then is different than my thought process as now. And 100 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 1: I accept ful accountability for my actions. I'm not trying 101 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 1: to make any excuses. I hope no one. I hope 102 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: everyone understands that this is just me explaining what I 103 00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 1: was thinking in that moment. Doesn't mean it was right, 104 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: but I essentially believed in the process. I stepped in 105 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,320 Speaker 1: as the bachelor and I said, Okay, I'm in a 106 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,200 Speaker 1: day thirty woman, and this will be acceptable. You know, 107 00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 1: this is the only environment where you can kiss a 108 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 1: woman in front of thirty other women and they're going 109 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: to still stick around and and and try to be 110 00:06:06,839 --> 00:06:09,719 Speaker 1: with you the next day. You could never do that 111 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: in the real world with people, you know. You know, 112 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,839 Speaker 1: it's just not feasible, and so you start to think that, Okay, 113 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: things work differently here, so there's a little bit of leeway, 114 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 1: and so just it's not real world applicable. Because of that, 115 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 1: I started to adapt to the environment, and I started 116 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,719 Speaker 1: to say, Okay, well, I'm assuming that these women understand 117 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,240 Speaker 1: how fancy to see fancy sweets go. I'm assuming they 118 00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 1: understand I might fall in love with multiple women. So 119 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:41,359 Speaker 1: that's just that's unknown. And what I saw, as we 120 00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:45,800 Speaker 1: saw last night, is that Susie did not adapt to 121 00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,520 Speaker 1: the environment. She stayed herself her true self from outside 122 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: the show versus coming into the show, and I commend 123 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:55,039 Speaker 1: her for that. I think that's incredibly respectful that the 124 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: disconnect was I adapted, she didn't, and we were on 125 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 1: these two different fields of understanding. And as I look 126 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 1: back at it now from being on the outside of it, 127 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: that's now I'm like, Okay, yeah, her side of it 128 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 1: makes complete sense. Why could you not see it? And 129 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: I just couldn't in that moment because I was very 130 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: entrenched in that belief that things work differently there. So 131 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: what would have happened if she had the first fantasy 132 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: suite and she would have told you, I can't be 133 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:28,720 Speaker 1: here any longer if you sleep with anyone else. Yeah, 134 00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: you know, it's tough about what if scenario, because again, 135 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: what happened happened. And I would like to believe that 136 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 1: if she went first and she gave me the ultimatum, 137 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: that I would have sat back and said, Okay, you 138 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: realize if you take forward, take any more action going forward, 139 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 1: that this could be it for you too. I was 140 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: never faced with the end of the line with us 141 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:55,880 Speaker 1: until that point that you saw last night. So I 142 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 1: would like to think that when I, if I realized 143 00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 1: the door was going to either be open or closed 144 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,280 Speaker 1: from that point forward, depending on based on my actions, 145 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:10,320 Speaker 1: that I would have. I would have not been intimate 146 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: with probably anybody at that point because I wouldn't want 147 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 1: to mix it up. But my feelings of falling in 148 00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: love with the women were already there at that point. 149 00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: They were already there at the beginning of fancy suites. 150 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: So if I would have sat and talked to her 151 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,360 Speaker 1: and said I'm in love with these other two women 152 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,840 Speaker 1: as well, and she said that's a deal breaker, then 153 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,720 Speaker 1: it wouldn't have mattered if she went first or third. 154 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 1: The only thing that I could have changed is, Okay, 155 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 1: I cannot be intimate with anybody and protect everyone, and 156 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: I believe I would have done that, but I would 157 00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:41,319 Speaker 1: have still had the feelings. I started following up these 158 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:45,079 Speaker 1: women back in hometowns, maybe even before. I didn't tell 159 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: anybody going into hometowns because again I was still trying 160 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 1: to make sense of it. On fighting the fact that 161 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,040 Speaker 1: I was I had fallen from multiple women, and I 162 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: didn't want to believe it because I knew it would 163 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,960 Speaker 1: get mess in now everyone sees like it did, and 164 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 1: I didn't want to. I told myself, I will not 165 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 1: fall in love with multile women, and I fought it 166 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,600 Speaker 1: and fought it and fought it and held back those 167 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 1: emotions and then realized that, like, those emotions were there, 168 00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 1: and I did feel that way about those women, so 169 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,240 Speaker 1: I know it doesn't make sense. And again people say 170 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: you can't fall in love with three women, and it's like, okay, 171 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,920 Speaker 1: then you won't ever believe me, But I did, and 172 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,520 Speaker 1: I'll swear I swear about it. You can put a 173 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: lie detector test on me like I did. I fell 174 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 1: in love with multiple women and I can't take that back. 175 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:25,840 Speaker 1: But if she'd went first, I believe I probably would 176 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:28,440 Speaker 1: just not have slept with any of them. Okay, well, 177 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 1: you said in that scene that you loved her the most. 178 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:33,560 Speaker 1: When did you start feeling that or do you feel 179 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: like that was just a reaction in the moment. No. 180 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:44,880 Speaker 1: I I started feeling that right around hometowns and right 181 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:49,760 Speaker 1: after things went so great with her family. And again 182 00:09:50,040 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 1: I compartmentalize these relationships where when I was just with them, 183 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: I that's all I saw because I thought that was 184 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: the right way to approach. It was like, if you 185 00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,560 Speaker 1: want to give this a fair shot, when you're with 186 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: this woman and you're only with her, there are no 187 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 1: other women you want to pour into that that person 188 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,800 Speaker 1: a percent. But then once I would step away, I'd realize, okay, wait, 189 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,320 Speaker 1: so where do I feel? How do I feel? And 190 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:12,320 Speaker 1: of course they weren't all equivalent going into fancy suitets. 191 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 1: There were you know, I had more love for, like 192 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,840 Speaker 1: I said, Susie than I did for neither Gabby or Rachel. 193 00:10:18,559 --> 00:10:21,839 Speaker 1: But going into fancy suitets, my thought well as is 194 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,560 Speaker 1: that deal breakers can come up. Um, we might not 195 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: have any physical intimacy. And if Susie and I happened, 196 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 1: if that wouldn't have happened, and we would have went 197 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: into fancy suits and be were intimate and we had 198 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 1: no compatibility sexually, then that would have shifted. I would 199 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 1: have now been in potentially more in love with one 200 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,680 Speaker 1: of the other two women. Because physical intimacy is such 201 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: a critical part of relationship. I cannot get engaged to 202 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: somebody if there's no sexual chemistry. It's just that's just me. 203 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,120 Speaker 1: Maybe that's not everybody else's, but for me, that's so critical. 204 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 1: If I'm going to get engaged, that has to be there. Let's, um, 205 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 1: let's talk a bit. I mean, I'm interested, right, because 206 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 1: I've been there. I get it. Um, people people were 207 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,920 Speaker 1: really confused when I told two women I loved them. Uh, 208 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:14,120 Speaker 1: everything was going pretty good for me the show, people 209 00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: were watching it, people were into it. And then all 210 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 1: of a sudden, I did this thing. And I didn't 211 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,000 Speaker 1: know how big of a deal it was until it happened. 212 00:11:22,880 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: I had no prep. I was even nervous about the 213 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: episode hearing. I actually thought everybody be like, Oh that 214 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: was That'd be so hard, Like that's such a tough 215 00:11:30,520 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: place for your heart to be at. Instead, I you know, um, 216 00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,120 Speaker 1: I felt some of the pain that I think you're 217 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 1: feeling today and some of the confusion. So for a 218 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:42,800 Speaker 1: second here, let's talk about why you decided to say 219 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,199 Speaker 1: what you did and express those emotions. You've touched on it. 220 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:48,600 Speaker 1: But ultimately, when you sat down and you made the 221 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: intentional decision to tell two women at that point or 222 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: and then three that you were in love with them, 223 00:11:54,760 --> 00:12:00,600 Speaker 1: why did you think that was a good idea. I mean, 224 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 1: I didn't think it was a good idea because you 225 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: don't want to tell multiple women that you're in love 226 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,240 Speaker 1: with them. I mean, just look at it from the 227 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,880 Speaker 1: standpoint of I told a woman that I love that 228 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: I'm the most in love with you implying I was 229 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: in love with other women. I mean, in what sense 230 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 1: would again, would you move forward with when get engaged 231 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: with so many three days later? If you're saying, hey, 232 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: I'm in love with you, but I'm also in love 233 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: with other women, it doesn't make sense. Now I see 234 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,200 Speaker 1: them like, it does not make sense. But I made 235 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,400 Speaker 1: it make sense in that moment. I had to make 236 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:31,560 Speaker 1: it make sense because if against Susie and I didn't 237 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 1: have any physical intimacy, no compatibility, then I will say, Okay, 238 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,560 Speaker 1: well that's that's no longer. We're not gonna work out. 239 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,320 Speaker 1: So now I need to focus on these other two 240 00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:43,559 Speaker 1: relationships and who I feel most compatible with. But this 241 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,840 Speaker 1: goes back to if I would have withheld those emotions. 242 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,320 Speaker 1: I did. I did actually with all those emotions. I 243 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 1: was falling for Serene as well, and I had and 244 00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: when she told me when I sent her home and 245 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:01,320 Speaker 1: she and very upset, she was I just want to know, 246 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,000 Speaker 1: is it because of what I said and she was 247 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: talking about? Is because I told you I was in 248 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,319 Speaker 1: love with you? And is that why you turn't shut down? 249 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 1: And in that moment, I realized because I had not 250 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,600 Speaker 1: validated her or given her any explanation or any clue 251 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: as to where I stood with her, that everything was 252 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,720 Speaker 1: invalidated to her at that moment, and she felt that 253 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:24,280 Speaker 1: because she opened up, it shut me down, and my 254 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: fear was going forward if that happened to her, what 255 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,319 Speaker 1: happens if these other women start to feel the same way. 256 00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: They don't know where I stand. So how am I 257 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,480 Speaker 1: gonna When am I going to tell them? And it's 258 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 1: gonna wait all the way until the final the final 259 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 1: week right for engagement and tell someone right there that hey, 260 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,400 Speaker 1: I'm in love with you. I think that's to me, 261 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 1: it's like they need to know your in love with 262 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 1: them before you get engaged. You tell them right there 263 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: and there the day of it, just when I don't 264 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,480 Speaker 1: know when is the right time to tell somebody on 265 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: the on that ship, on the show, when you're falling 266 00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 1: in love with them, and I know people say, okay, 267 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: well you she just told one person what I was. 268 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,160 Speaker 1: I was in love with multiple women. I don't so 269 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,920 Speaker 1: I felt that I should tell them all at the 270 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 1: same time. After this this, after Hometowns, that's just the 271 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: next time I saw him was overnights and I felt 272 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 1: I was like, this is where you're at so you 273 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,720 Speaker 1: need to let these women know as soon as possible 274 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 1: when you told him, because I mean, I'm trying to 275 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 1: go back into that season of life. I remember I 276 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 1: was telling Ashley yesterday. I remember walking around my hotel room. 277 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:29,560 Speaker 1: I was in Jamaica and um processing through what I 278 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,720 Speaker 1: was going to do that week, and there was a 279 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: moment for me. And I've always said this, the reason 280 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 1: I finally decided to do it was exactly what you 281 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,560 Speaker 1: just said. So I would agree with you. I don't 282 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,760 Speaker 1: know if it's right or wrong. I just agree with you. Well, 283 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: I felt like, hey, I want to value I know 284 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 1: one of these people are going to be going home 285 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 1: at the end of this, maybe both of them if 286 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,760 Speaker 1: it backfires on me here, but at least one of them. 287 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,680 Speaker 1: And what I want them to know is how important 288 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,280 Speaker 1: this was for me. Also, I don't want them to 289 00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:00,560 Speaker 1: leave without knowing that this was real for me. And 290 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:05,400 Speaker 1: so the validation in my mind call me right or wrong. 291 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 1: And and now you know, I look back six years 292 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 1: and say I regret saying I don't regret feeling and 293 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,120 Speaker 1: I'm not saying I didn't. I just don't think it 294 00:15:13,160 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 1: was the wise thing to do. I don't think it 295 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 1: was is it didn't keep things uh clean, it messed 296 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,560 Speaker 1: stuff up, which I think you're probably experiencing. But the 297 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,800 Speaker 1: validation side of this was exactly why I did it. 298 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: And so after you said it to them then like 299 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,160 Speaker 1: it's you know the first two at least, um, was 300 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,960 Speaker 1: there a weightlifted, like did you feel like, oh, though 301 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 1: this was the good decision or was there like a 302 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 1: hint of already regret in your mind going I think 303 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 1: I might have just messed this whole thing up. In 304 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,600 Speaker 1: the moment when I told you to the women, the 305 00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,760 Speaker 1: reactions they gave me was it was exciting. I was happy. 306 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:53,280 Speaker 1: I could see the joy in their face. I finally 307 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,520 Speaker 1: know where this guy stands. And I was so happy 308 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 1: in that moment to have opened up to them. I 309 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: felt them like, this is great. Now they're not going 310 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:03,520 Speaker 1: to put their walls up. We're fully in. They know 311 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,040 Speaker 1: where I stand, I know where they stand, and it 312 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 1: felt right. But as they showed the last night's episode, 313 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: there was a clip where I just I said, I'm 314 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:16,120 Speaker 1: realizing I'm going to hurt somebody, and I broke down 315 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 1: because I thought back to that moment as I I 316 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,400 Speaker 1: think that was after I was stayed overnight with Gabby 317 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:25,480 Speaker 1: and I realized I was, like, it hit me as 318 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 1: I was away from the women and I was sitting 319 00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,000 Speaker 1: there in that interview, it hit me like just a 320 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: brick wall. I realized, I'm like, you're in You're in trouble, 321 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: Like you're not in a good spot right now. You 322 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:40,960 Speaker 1: have two women that you've just experienced overnights with that 323 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,320 Speaker 1: I could see walking out of here engage with you, 324 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 1: and you told them both that you're that you're in 325 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,520 Speaker 1: love with them, but someone's gonna get hurt. And that 326 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,200 Speaker 1: was when I realized, when I was away from the 327 00:16:53,240 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 1: women that I can't compartmentalize it. When I'm with him, 328 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: I can, but when a second him away from them 329 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,120 Speaker 1: is when it all came flooding in. I was like, 330 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,880 Speaker 1: You're you're deep, You're you're not in a good spot. 331 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 1: So then why did you go ahead and say it 332 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: to Susie? You just felt like you had to like 333 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:11,359 Speaker 1: do the full circle. No, I told Susie, because again, 334 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 1: while I knew that it wasn't a good spot to 335 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,560 Speaker 1: be in, I told those women and I and I 336 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,919 Speaker 1: and again I saw their reactions and I saw that 337 00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:23,399 Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, now they know where I stand. I 338 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:25,239 Speaker 1: felt that I was like, I should tell Susie, this 339 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 1: is screwed up. It's messed up. I'm in love with 340 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:31,600 Speaker 1: multiple women, but I was the most in love with her, 341 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:33,320 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I'm not going to hold back on 342 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,679 Speaker 1: telling her now just because I told the other two women, like, 343 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 1: I have to approach this as every this I'm when 344 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 1: I'm with them, I'm with them, and I can't allow 345 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 1: what I've donner said to another relationship to impact how 346 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: I treat that other person. When I talked to him 347 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 1: and so I knew it wasn't a bad spot. But 348 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:56,640 Speaker 1: I thought again that, well, don't hold back. Let these 349 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,640 Speaker 1: women know, and then maybe they will come to understand 350 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,600 Speaker 1: that like he did fall in love with other women, 351 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,600 Speaker 1: but his heart was in the right place. He just 352 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:07,200 Speaker 1: wasn't a really really unique, once in a lifetime spot. 353 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 1: And I can be well, I am willing to forgive 354 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 1: him and see that, Like it's a tough spot to 355 00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:24,359 Speaker 1: be in. I think you've answered our question when it 356 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:26,440 Speaker 1: comes to why you did what you did. And I mean, 357 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,080 Speaker 1: I'm out of anybody, I am not one to criticize 358 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 1: you for expressing your emotions towards you know, these women. 359 00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,760 Speaker 1: I I get it, and like, I'll stand behind you 360 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,920 Speaker 1: on that fully and I'll say I understand. And there's 361 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:42,399 Speaker 1: been bachelorette leads who have expressed it to more than 362 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,399 Speaker 1: one person. You're not alone and and that you felt 363 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,800 Speaker 1: something for each woman and was it right or wrong 364 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,359 Speaker 1: that you told them? You know, that's yet that that 365 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,120 Speaker 1: can be argued right, that that we there's multi people 366 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 1: who believe different things. But that's not why. But the 367 00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:03,240 Speaker 1: love part of this, even though it's getting criticized, which happens, 368 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,600 Speaker 1: is not the thing that most people are talking about. 369 00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:09,000 Speaker 1: It's going back to how we started this conversation with 370 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 1: how you handled um, the conversation with Susie once you 371 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 1: were put on the spot and asked, how do you 372 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:21,439 Speaker 1: feel about somebody else? And have you sup with them? 373 00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 1: So let's let's start digging into this and getting where 374 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,879 Speaker 1: you're at again on that because I think this is 375 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 1: this is what everybody is wondering and I guess I 376 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:32,240 Speaker 1: want to start this conversation with after seeing it last night. 377 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:38,560 Speaker 1: There's no secret Clayton. You're you're being labeled and characterized. 378 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:42,200 Speaker 1: I mean your characters in question completely right now by 379 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,320 Speaker 1: the fans of the Bachelor. How does that feel for you? 380 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 1: And what would you say to them as a response 381 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:53,560 Speaker 1: to the last you know, fifteen hours since the show aired. 382 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,200 Speaker 1: It's tough because I've seen what everyone's saying, and they're 383 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:03,399 Speaker 1: using some at the descriptive terms, some pretty heavy heading 384 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,159 Speaker 1: terms that I couldn't disagree with more um, but I 385 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,480 Speaker 1: understand that it appears that way, and I don't I 386 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 1: don't even want to use the words because it's not 387 00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 1: that it couldn't be farther from the truth. But what 388 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,960 Speaker 1: I can say is this is that I did not 389 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: handle it well. I didn't. I mean, it was not 390 00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:28,119 Speaker 1: handled maturely. I I raised my voice to her, I 391 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:32,119 Speaker 1: became I was grasping at straws. I was trying to 392 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 1: find anything that I could at that point to get 393 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 1: her to stay like I just wanted her to give 394 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: me a chance. And so I went through this this 395 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:45,520 Speaker 1: gauntlet of emotions where at first our conversation was very cordial. 396 00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,479 Speaker 1: At first we were back and forth, no tone, there 397 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:51,720 Speaker 1: was no raised tone. We were going back and forth 398 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 1: and having this discussion and working through it about you know, 399 00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 1: the third or fourth time that she said I can't 400 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:03,600 Speaker 1: work past this. We stepped aside, she she got up 401 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 1: and she walked out, And then I started to have 402 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,800 Speaker 1: these really dangerous thoughts. I thought, why does it seem 403 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: like she's not fighting for this, Why does it seem 404 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: like she can't even give me a chance? Like I 405 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,359 Speaker 1: didn't know she felt this way, and I understand, like 406 00:21:18,440 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 1: I just I'm wondering why she won't just try to 407 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,919 Speaker 1: give me a second chance because I wasn't aware of 408 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 1: how she felt, and I made assumptions and I wish 409 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:29,199 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have. But then I started to think, like 410 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 1: the way that she's acting with everything else that had 411 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:36,159 Speaker 1: happened prior with Sarah playing this game of you know, 412 00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:38,160 Speaker 1: trying to take get the other woman to leave through 413 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,399 Speaker 1: making up lies, and it was I don't know for 414 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,320 Speaker 1: whatever reason she was doing that, but I started to think, Okay, 415 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 1: go back to realistically. I'm like these some of these 416 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,479 Speaker 1: women came here for the wrong reasons to push their 417 00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:51,440 Speaker 1: own agenda. So I started having these really dangerous thoughts 418 00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:53,399 Speaker 1: of being like, well, what happened. What if Susie right 419 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:54,800 Speaker 1: now is just trying to get out of this. What 420 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 1: if She's just saying whatever she needs to say to 421 00:21:57,520 --> 00:21:59,520 Speaker 1: leave me so that she could be the next batcheorette. 422 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 1: And that was a thought that I had, and when 423 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:05,040 Speaker 1: I when she came outside and I was talking to Jesse, 424 00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:07,639 Speaker 1: that was my thought. And she goes, do you want 425 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,199 Speaker 1: to go back and talk inside? I said, and I 426 00:22:09,240 --> 00:22:10,679 Speaker 1: kind of was like, that's when you could see the 427 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,360 Speaker 1: tone ship because at that point I started looking at 428 00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 1: her as if she was playing me the entire times 429 00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 1: as other women had, and so I became I'd started 430 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,199 Speaker 1: to be in a really dangerous headspace, and I questioned her, 431 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 1: and that's why I said, I don't know who I'm 432 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 1: even looking at anymore, because in that moment, I really 433 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: believed at that point that she was just feeding me 434 00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 1: whatever she needed to to get out of there so 435 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,080 Speaker 1: she could be the next batcherette. I don't believe that now. 436 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:43,160 Speaker 1: I didn't believe it the next day, but I believed 437 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:46,879 Speaker 1: it in that moment, and because of that, I allowed 438 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,560 Speaker 1: my emotions to take over and I just wasn't at 439 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,120 Speaker 1: that point. Nothing she said was going to get through 440 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 1: to me at that point, because I I just convinced 441 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:57,320 Speaker 1: myself that you aren't here for me, you never were, 442 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:03,159 Speaker 1: but you will admit that what you the actions that 443 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: you took, the words that you used were like definition gaslighting, 444 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,639 Speaker 1: Like you totally flipped the situation and made it seemed 445 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,680 Speaker 1: like you were the victim and that she was this 446 00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:19,359 Speaker 1: person that was like just being horrible to you. I 447 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,760 Speaker 1: don't agree that I was gaslighting because I had I 448 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,960 Speaker 1: looked that up and it said, you know, the gaslighting, 449 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,480 Speaker 1: the definition is trying to convince someone of a different 450 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,199 Speaker 1: reality than what is actually, um the true reality of 451 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,840 Speaker 1: the situation. And again I think I hadn't just kind 452 00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,480 Speaker 1: of admitted that you were making things up in your head, 453 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,040 Speaker 1: but it wasn't. I think gaslighting, in my eyes, is 454 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:43,360 Speaker 1: something where you have bad intentions, you're trying to manipulate somebody, 455 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,640 Speaker 1: and I was not at all trying to do that. 456 00:23:45,800 --> 00:23:48,159 Speaker 1: My reality was in my head at that point. I 457 00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:51,760 Speaker 1: believe what I believed. I had no bad intentions. I 458 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,320 Speaker 1: just was voicing my concerns to her at that point 459 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,640 Speaker 1: in my frustrations and my feelings. But I would not 460 00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,679 Speaker 1: say at all, No, I told the disagree on the 461 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: gas lighting concept because I was not trying to manipulate 462 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:05,920 Speaker 1: her from my benefit at all. I had no intention 463 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 1: of doing that. I am not that kind of person, 464 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,040 Speaker 1: and that does strike a chord with me, because that's 465 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,159 Speaker 1: not me. I not was not trying to tell her 466 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,400 Speaker 1: that she was wrong. I was trying to figure out 467 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,400 Speaker 1: why she couldn't give me another chance. But I wasn't 468 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,600 Speaker 1: sitting here saying you're wrong. You have the wrong perspective 469 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:26,560 Speaker 1: on this, and you need to believe my perspective. My 470 00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:29,080 Speaker 1: whole hope was just, hey, we got we're we're at 471 00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,159 Speaker 1: a disagreement right now, but can we work past this? 472 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,639 Speaker 1: Can we fight through this? That's all I wanted to do. 473 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 1: See your hope was I mean, if I'm hearing you right, 474 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:41,760 Speaker 1: your hope was like your goal ultimately, I was like 475 00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:43,720 Speaker 1: to keep her around because you thought there was still 476 00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:46,640 Speaker 1: something there, Like you still believe that your future could 477 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:49,720 Speaker 1: be with Susie, and so you you were at you 478 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 1: were doing whatever you could is in your words, grasp 479 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:55,600 Speaker 1: me at straws to try to convince her to stay 480 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 1: when she was committed to leaving UM at that point. 481 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,920 Speaker 1: And so how I hear this and tell me if 482 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,160 Speaker 1: I'm wrong, is something happened in this process where your 483 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,159 Speaker 1: ego got deeply hurt. And I get how that can 484 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:13,439 Speaker 1: happen to right, We've been there, but there's something that 485 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,440 Speaker 1: happened along this journey that maybe we saw or didn't see, 486 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:20,800 Speaker 1: where now you're feeling like I have to um be 487 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,640 Speaker 1: on guard for the people trying to leave the show, 488 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:25,320 Speaker 1: for the women that aren't in this for the right 489 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,359 Speaker 1: things and that aren't interested in me. And it felt like, 490 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,120 Speaker 1: I mean what I'm hearing is at this moment, your 491 00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:33,480 Speaker 1: ego got in the way and you were trying to 492 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:38,399 Speaker 1: protect everything, especially the fact that you didn't want Susie 493 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,479 Speaker 1: to walk out. And so my I guess that's one 494 00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:42,119 Speaker 1: question where did that get hurt? In the second is 495 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:46,119 Speaker 1: why weren't you okay with her leaving? Like ultimately, like 496 00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:48,400 Speaker 1: why did it matter if she want if she wanted 497 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:51,160 Speaker 1: to be the next Bachelor at like let her go, 498 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 1: let her go do that because you still got two 499 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:59,440 Speaker 1: women you're in love with sitting in a house somewhere. Yeah. 500 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:04,439 Speaker 1: So I when I hear the term ego, I I 501 00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:06,840 Speaker 1: guess if you want to say, I was very much 502 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 1: at that point in a very I had a very 503 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:17,120 Speaker 1: timid I was very just nerves nervous that I had 504 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,600 Speaker 1: you know Sarah played this game with me. I had 505 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,080 Speaker 1: other women that had left that you know, just wasn't shown. 506 00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 1: But like people that came here just to push their 507 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: own agenda, to to to to take for this to 508 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,960 Speaker 1: be a stepping stone for their I mean again, I 509 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,040 Speaker 1: don't want to sit here and say all these women 510 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 1: came here for me. They didn't even like, No, that's 511 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:35,960 Speaker 1: not true at all. We all know this, So let's 512 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,639 Speaker 1: call it for what it is. Like the a lot 513 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:39,679 Speaker 1: of people came here for their own personal benefit, and 514 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:42,200 Speaker 1: but there were women that said, Okay, hey, yes I did, 515 00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 1: I could, this could be a stepping stone, but I 516 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,360 Speaker 1: could also fall for this guy. And so there were 517 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 1: genuine women that were here to say, hey, this is possible. 518 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:52,480 Speaker 1: But what happened was is really what it was. At 519 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,960 Speaker 1: the turning point was when I found out because I 520 00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:56,879 Speaker 1: had no idea. But when I found out Sarah was 521 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:00,600 Speaker 1: lying to the other women and telling them things like, oh, 522 00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:02,560 Speaker 1: he said after our first one on one that I 523 00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:04,560 Speaker 1: was going to be um at the end of it 524 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:07,240 Speaker 1: all with him, he was already constructing his his hometowns 525 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,119 Speaker 1: after week one, and that he was crying with me. Uh, 526 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:12,679 Speaker 1: you know, these are things. I was like, why are 527 00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:14,639 Speaker 1: you making this up? You're making seem like this extremely 528 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:18,440 Speaker 1: strong connection and we we have a connection, but you're 529 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 1: you're these women now are all gonna leave? And like 530 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,360 Speaker 1: they all came to me like we thought. I thought 531 00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 1: about leaving at one point, so when I had to 532 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,160 Speaker 1: have the women come tell me because I didn't see 533 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:30,240 Speaker 1: that like Sarah played it well, then I thought, Okay, 534 00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 1: if she's playing that game, who could still be playing 535 00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,280 Speaker 1: this game? Like she played it all the way until 536 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,359 Speaker 1: right four hometowns. I almost took her to hometowns. Therefore, 537 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:41,280 Speaker 1: I thought, is there anyone else that's still potentially playing me? 538 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:44,520 Speaker 1: And yeah, at that point, I was freaked out. I 539 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:48,960 Speaker 1: was very insecure because just because I I everything started 540 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,199 Speaker 1: creep in that you're on a show, man like you 541 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 1: have to understand that people the show faces criticism for 542 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:58,360 Speaker 1: people coming on here to become popular, to gain followers 543 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,280 Speaker 1: and all that, and you came here with with the 544 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,520 Speaker 1: mind the headspace if you want to fall for somebody, 545 00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,439 Speaker 1: you think it's possible. But now you're you're you're wondering 546 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:09,639 Speaker 1: if these women feel the same way. And I told myself, no, 547 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:13,240 Speaker 1: you have an incredible final four women, that's not the 548 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:16,359 Speaker 1: case with them. And I didn't believe it until in 549 00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,359 Speaker 1: that moment when I talked to Susie. It was like 550 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 1: all of a sudden that thought crept back in. It 551 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,840 Speaker 1: came racing in in that moment. Why to answer your question, 552 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,680 Speaker 1: why couldn't I just let her go when she said that, 553 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,000 Speaker 1: I mean, ultimately, I know that I walked her out 554 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 1: quote unquote, but I did let her go at that point. 555 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:36,160 Speaker 1: I didn't handle it right. I my tone, I raised 556 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:40,720 Speaker 1: my tone, I stopped listening, and it was immature and 557 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,120 Speaker 1: I did not handle it correctly. But I did let 558 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:44,480 Speaker 1: her go in that moment, and that was what I 559 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,239 Speaker 1: said right as I opened the corridor. I said, I 560 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,560 Speaker 1: believe everything happens for a reason. I don't know why 561 00:28:49,600 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: this was supposed to happen, but it did, and so 562 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 1: I'm going to move on, And so I did. I 563 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 1: did let her go. I just but I was fighting 564 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,080 Speaker 1: because this again, I saw this person potentially being the 565 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,480 Speaker 1: woman of my dreams, my future wife, and I was 566 00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,040 Speaker 1: not going to just say, okay, all right, that's how 567 00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:11,040 Speaker 1: you feel. Well, it was great knowing you, and I 568 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: wish you the best. I was going to fight for it, 569 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 1: and I fought for it with every last ounce of 570 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 1: fight in my body. It doesn't mean I did the 571 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: right way, but I fought all the way till the end. 572 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 1: M Well, you said that Susie. You don't feel like 573 00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 1: Susie fought for you in that moment? How do you 574 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:34,000 Speaker 1: feel about that? That line? Now? It was untrue. It 575 00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:40,000 Speaker 1: was untrue. I remember that I when she walked out, 576 00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 1: I remember talking to the producers and I said she 577 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,600 Speaker 1: was cold. I said, she showed no emotion whatsoever, And 578 00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:49,960 Speaker 1: how do you feel about that? Now? I was wrong 579 00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: a thousand percent, but because I was so hurt and 580 00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,760 Speaker 1: upset that I even felt as though she gave no 581 00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,800 Speaker 1: emotion from start to finish. And I watch it back now, 582 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 1: and it's clear as day. The motion was there. She 583 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:08,320 Speaker 1: was try like she was torn, but I couldn't see 584 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:12,560 Speaker 1: that because I was just trying to do everything in 585 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,360 Speaker 1: my power to, like see if I could convince her 586 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: to give me a second chance. And when I couldn't 587 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:22,360 Speaker 1: do that, I just looked back at it all because 588 00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,120 Speaker 1: it all would have mean it was. It was probably 589 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:26,360 Speaker 1: three hours of conversation. Of course, if they can only 590 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 1: pack in what they can but it was a three 591 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 1: hour conversation, and I just at that point, I'm like, man, 592 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,080 Speaker 1: she like she seemed cold. But now I watched it back, 593 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:36,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, no, she didn't seem cold at all. Man. 594 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 1: You literally had the wrong perspective. You couldn't even see 595 00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:43,360 Speaker 1: her perspective then, And yeah, there's a lot of things 596 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,280 Speaker 1: that I look back now, I'm like, what were you thinking? 597 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 1: But I was thinking what I'm telling, what I've told 598 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:49,680 Speaker 1: you all throughout this entire discussion. I was in that 599 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 1: headspace and it wasn't the right head space as I 600 00:30:52,240 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: look back at it now, But I was in that 601 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:56,200 Speaker 1: in that moment. That's the that's the head space I 602 00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 1: was in. Clayton, You obviously have a few more weeks left. Um. 603 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 1: You know you've you've explained UM the whole situation to us. 604 00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,840 Speaker 1: So as these next weeks go on, and as UM 605 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 1: people continue to watch UM your journey unfold, what what 606 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,240 Speaker 1: would you want to say, UM, to anybody out there 607 00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:23,920 Speaker 1: who listens to this, who watches the show, who watched 608 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,520 Speaker 1: last night, People that are really hurt by the conversation 609 00:31:27,560 --> 00:31:31,239 Speaker 1: that took place, People that are are now saying, you know, 610 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,320 Speaker 1: we saw a side of Clayton we've never seen before, 611 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 1: um or up to this point. Is this who he is? 612 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,840 Speaker 1: Is this the man that we've you know, has he 613 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:42,680 Speaker 1: been hit hiding in his suit all season up into 614 00:31:42,720 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 1: this point? Just give you the floor to say whatever 615 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 1: it is you want to say. Um to anybody out 616 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 1: there for the you know, as they watch you the 617 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 1: next couple of weeks. I just asked people to have 618 00:31:56,360 --> 00:32:00,160 Speaker 1: patients and understanding that when I say I followed my 619 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:03,320 Speaker 1: heart and I was doing everything that I thought was best, 620 00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:08,720 Speaker 1: that that is exactly what it was. Was it right? No, 621 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 1: people are seeing the mistakes I made. People are seeing 622 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,560 Speaker 1: I see them. I accept full responsibility. I want people 623 00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:17,920 Speaker 1: to understand that everything that I'm saying in these podcasts 624 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:19,719 Speaker 1: right now is I'm talking to you all is not 625 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:23,200 Speaker 1: an excuse. I'm here because you guys brought me on 626 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,840 Speaker 1: to talk about it. I'm giving explanations. That does not 627 00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:30,640 Speaker 1: mean I'm trying to dodge any bit of blame. I 628 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,080 Speaker 1: take all of the blame, okay, And I want people 629 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,680 Speaker 1: to understand that I'm not making any excuses. I'm just 630 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,320 Speaker 1: providing explanations to let people understand here's what I thought 631 00:32:38,360 --> 00:32:42,840 Speaker 1: in that moment going forward. Again, I take all of it. 632 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,480 Speaker 1: I'm fully accountable. I am not that person that was 633 00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:47,440 Speaker 1: shown then. I allowed my emotions to get the best 634 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:51,640 Speaker 1: of me with everything going on, and hopefully people will 635 00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:58,200 Speaker 1: see in the coming weeks that following my heart makes sense. 636 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 1: But that's where again I have to wait until it's 637 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: until it's shown all the way through. People have already 638 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,360 Speaker 1: shown that they're not going to have that patience. That's fine. 639 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,360 Speaker 1: People have the right to decide to react as sooner 640 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,480 Speaker 1: or they We can wait into and and I've had 641 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 1: a lot of great people reach out to me and say, hey, 642 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 1: I see you know, I see your frustration. People that 643 00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: know me are still in my corner. They know that 644 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 1: there's so much more to it. People that don't know me, 645 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 1: they see what they see and they make a judgment. 646 00:33:23,160 --> 00:33:25,680 Speaker 1: I can't fault anybody for that, but I just tell 647 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 1: people to see it all the way through, all the 648 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 1: way through until the end of the finale, and then 649 00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:40,240 Speaker 1: cast your judgment. Clayton Um final question for you, what 650 00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:46,920 Speaker 1: have you learned since last night? Oh? Man, uh so much. 651 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:50,240 Speaker 1: I learned that one of the greatest things that I 652 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:55,560 Speaker 1: learned was the power of emotion when you allow that 653 00:33:55,640 --> 00:34:00,640 Speaker 1: to overcome rationale. I see for me personally, I saw 654 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 1: that I shut down and I jump to a lot 655 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:10,319 Speaker 1: of conclusions that aren't realistic, that weren't the truth. And 656 00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:15,640 Speaker 1: so I've known this before, but I know now going forward, Ever, 657 00:34:15,800 --> 00:34:18,360 Speaker 1: if I ever get overwhelmed, ever, if I'm ever in 658 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,560 Speaker 1: over if I'm ever in a situation where I'm ever 659 00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:24,359 Speaker 1: ever overwhelmed like that, ever again, to take a deep 660 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,359 Speaker 1: breath and step aside, say I need to take five like, 661 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:31,719 Speaker 1: just step away. I in that moment did not do that. 662 00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,399 Speaker 1: And I wish I would have just taken a breather 663 00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:37,160 Speaker 1: and walked outside and said give me twenty minutes like, 664 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:44,759 Speaker 1: but I didn't. Um. I also learned again that you know, 665 00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:47,920 Speaker 1: my reality is one thing, and someone else's reality is another, 666 00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:52,520 Speaker 1: and and and reality perception is reality, however people perceive 667 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:56,319 Speaker 1: it is, that's the reality of it. I think her 668 00:34:56,360 --> 00:35:00,160 Speaker 1: and I both. I think her and I both both 669 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,760 Speaker 1: as far as our and and not in our actions, 670 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:06,719 Speaker 1: but in our thoughts and feelings were justified. My actions 671 00:35:06,719 --> 00:35:09,239 Speaker 1: were indefensible when I when I started to raise my 672 00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 1: voice and make and accuse her. But I think that again, 673 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,000 Speaker 1: I saw that's like, this isn't black and white, as 674 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,799 Speaker 1: you said earlier, this show this with the show, it's 675 00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:20,520 Speaker 1: not black and white. It's hard to date thirty women. 676 00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,920 Speaker 1: I'm dating thirty women, they're dating one man, and so 677 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 1: there's this major disconnect and you try to come into 678 00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,799 Speaker 1: the middle and find the common ground. And I didn't 679 00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:34,040 Speaker 1: and and unfortunately we That's where we came to a 680 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,239 Speaker 1: head is when we I said, how do you not 681 00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:40,480 Speaker 1: understand this? Like, I'm dating thirty women, What's there's multiple relationships? 682 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:43,640 Speaker 1: What's how is that hard to believe? And she was, 683 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,600 Speaker 1: you know, saying, how can you fall from multiple people? 684 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:48,400 Speaker 1: Like I'm only falling for you? And there's that disconnect. 685 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:51,400 Speaker 1: So I I've learned a ton because I watched it 686 00:35:51,440 --> 00:35:53,120 Speaker 1: back now and I'm like, yeah, I'm like now I'm 687 00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,080 Speaker 1: on the outside of it, being like dude, like you 688 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,840 Speaker 1: really fell in deep to this, and you fully believed, 689 00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 1: and you you really wanted to just make it work, 690 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:03,759 Speaker 1: and so you adapted, you did whatever you could, and 691 00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,400 Speaker 1: you and things were just like you said, things were 692 00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,640 Speaker 1: going great for me. They were going great, I'll up 693 00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:10,440 Speaker 1: until this point. Other than that, I mean, there was 694 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:13,040 Speaker 1: drama with all that with Shane, that I wasn't really 695 00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 1: involved heavily in that because I was building these other 696 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,959 Speaker 1: connections while that was occurring. So I thought things were great. 697 00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:21,200 Speaker 1: I was like, everything's going great, every You're doing things 698 00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: in the right way. And then it just came boom. 699 00:36:23,520 --> 00:36:25,759 Speaker 1: It hit me at once, and I realized, like, this 700 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:28,239 Speaker 1: is because of your own actions what you did. This 701 00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:31,840 Speaker 1: is now you have to face the repercussions for the 702 00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:36,239 Speaker 1: situation that you that you're in. So all of that 703 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:39,799 Speaker 1: just to say, yeah, I mean, I just hope people 704 00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:42,680 Speaker 1: can understand that I didn't have any bad intentions. I 705 00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 1: wasn't I was not playing these women. I had genuine connections. 706 00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:50,720 Speaker 1: I was trying to compartmentalize one relationship to the next 707 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:53,160 Speaker 1: and really give every one of these women of equal 708 00:36:53,200 --> 00:36:56,040 Speaker 1: chance until I could figure out who is the best 709 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,600 Speaker 1: fit for me, and I just along the way and 710 00:36:58,640 --> 00:37:00,840 Speaker 1: made decisions that I wish I would have done differently. 711 00:37:02,040 --> 00:37:04,680 Speaker 1: Claim thanks for joining us today, man, Yes, thank you 712 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:09,680 Speaker 1: for UM. We appreciate you being here, UM and expressing 713 00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:11,560 Speaker 1: all of the things that you've been feeling over the 714 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 1: past twenty four hours plus. Yeah, no matter what, this 715 00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 1: is not ideal, right to sit down and have to 716 00:37:16,680 --> 00:37:20,000 Speaker 1: talk about it, um and then have millions of people 717 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:24,600 Speaker 1: watch it. But UM, we do appreciate you sit down 718 00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:27,680 Speaker 1: and talking with us today and uh, um we wish 719 00:37:27,680 --> 00:37:30,719 Speaker 1: you the best. Um. We know it won't be easy, 720 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:36,239 Speaker 1: We know uh that criticism is going to come. Um, 721 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:39,200 Speaker 1: but we do wish you the best in the following 722 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:43,400 Speaker 1: weeks as this season unfolds. So thanks for joining us 723 00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 1: on the Almost Famous podcast. Thanks guys. Follow the Benn 724 00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:52,000 Speaker 1: and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast on ihurt Radio or 725 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,319 Speaker 1: subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.