1 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:02,320 Speaker 1: You don't know. 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:04,600 Speaker 2: Confession. 3 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: I can't take back all arms speak. 4 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:13,840 Speaker 2: Got a text to seventy eighty five nine too that 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 2: says a big hole has appeared in our local park 6 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 2: and nobody knows how it got there. 7 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: But it's me what. 8 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 2: I go out every night after dark and dig it 9 00:00:23,680 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 2: a little deeper. 10 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 3: I always just those holds are from dogs or something. 11 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:31,159 Speaker 2: Apparaly, it's some guy going out to the bark and 12 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:35,200 Speaker 2: digging it up the city. I'm glad all that time 13 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 2: and efforts being spent on a good cause. I guess 14 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 2: we all have our quirky moments in our life, our 15 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 2: metaphorical holes that we've dug, and we don't judge here 16 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 2: on this show. We love your holes the way that 17 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:53,199 Speaker 2: they're meant to be loved, and we promised to keep 18 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 2: your whole anonymous too. That's why Evan is on the phone. Evan, 19 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 2: this is Alias, of course, but he wants to share 20 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 2: something with us, possibly about his hole. Evan, welcome to 21 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 2: the show. 22 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: Hello, Hi, Hell, do. 23 00:01:06,160 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 3: You feel uncomfortable because of the intro or because of 24 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,160 Speaker 3: what you're gonna tell us? 25 00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 1: I mean a little bit of bulls honestly and checks 26 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:14,160 Speaker 1: out all right. 27 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:16,000 Speaker 2: I feel like you're in the right head space now, Evan, 28 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 2: because the voice changer is on, you are now the 29 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 2: mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession. 30 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 1: So a few years ago, I was on a company 31 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,839 Speaker 1: retreat with about twenty five thirty employees, all of us together. 32 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:30,279 Speaker 3: Is that something you enjoy? 33 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: Oh no, it's one of the most boring things in 34 00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:34,400 Speaker 1: the world. 35 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,319 Speaker 3: Like some of those small tech companies they go party, 36 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 3: but then there's other ones that are lay. 37 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,959 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I wish I could say we're one of 38 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:46,119 Speaker 1: those cool ones, but it ends up being my boss 39 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:49,280 Speaker 1: talking NonStop for like seven eight hours. 40 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 3: Oh my god. Yeah, because you don't get enough of 41 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,920 Speaker 3: that during the week, you need to make it a 42 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,720 Speaker 3: twenty four hour experience. Yeah. 43 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,160 Speaker 1: Well, this is what's even worse too, is like, not 44 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 1: only are we like in these meetings all day long 45 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 1: staring at these power points, but then because the retreat, 46 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 1: we're all like together and we all have to go 47 00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,600 Speaker 1: to dinner. But it's just like more of my boss 48 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:12,239 Speaker 1: with the dumb story, like, oh my god, my mind 49 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: is dumb for three days. 50 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. 51 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:16,200 Speaker 2: Oh no, I'm just thinking of you having a fake 52 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:19,679 Speaker 2: laugh at all your boss's terrible dad jokes. I could 53 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 2: barely make it through one fifteen minute meeting, let three 54 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:23,959 Speaker 2: wird days of it. 55 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: So that's how long these retreats used to last. 56 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:27,919 Speaker 2: Used to last. 57 00:02:28,320 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: Yes, but one trip that we went on a few 58 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:34,760 Speaker 1: years back, after night one, me and four other employees 59 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 1: were back in the hotel in my room and we're 60 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: just saying, we cannot survive another two days of this. 61 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,840 Speaker 1: We we got to do something. We gotta get out. 62 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:45,560 Speaker 1: We're gonna lose our minds or you know. Yeah, we're 63 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,360 Speaker 1: like trying to come up with excuse like, oh, like 64 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 1: what if one of us gets sick? But oh, they 65 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 1: were like a family emergency, but we can't all have 66 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,320 Speaker 1: family emergency. That looks a little suspicious. 67 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 3: Did you all hit a bad trip cocktail at the 68 00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,559 Speaker 3: same time? Maybe that way. 69 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,000 Speaker 4: That's good. 70 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,240 Speaker 1: Well, what it ended up happening was there were all 71 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 1: these free lemonade pitchers out there during a meeting all 72 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:09,399 Speaker 1: day long. So the next morning I found the guy 73 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: down in the kitchen he was who was the one 74 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: making all the lemonades in the morning, and said I 75 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: would pay him one hundred bucks to add some some 76 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,680 Speaker 1: fun ingredients. 77 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 2: What vodka I like it's stronger than vodka. 78 00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,880 Speaker 1: I promised. No one was harmed. So the morning starts 79 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 1: at nine am, and by ten thirty it was just 80 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 1: completely off the rails. 81 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 82 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 3: So people aren't sober. 83 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:41,200 Speaker 1: Uh, they're nuts in their correct state of mind. But 84 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: some people were just in great food all of a sudden, 85 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: and they were bursting out into laughter. And my boss 86 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: best of all, he started getting like sweaty, and he 87 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,440 Speaker 1: just like first he took his neck tie off, and 88 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: then he was just feeling so strange that he started 89 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:02,000 Speaker 1: using his necktie like a cowboy. Laugh though, and like 90 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: trying to laugh though. Other employees are just like, weren't 91 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 1: sitting still. 92 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,960 Speaker 3: Wait, no one is sober enough to understand that something's 93 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 3: happened to the lemonade. 94 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 1: You know, I think the meetings are so boring that 95 00:04:18,480 --> 00:04:21,479 Speaker 1: everyone was just happy to be like enjoying the morning. 96 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 2: For one, this is the best presentation I think we've 97 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,160 Speaker 2: ever had. 98 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,039 Speaker 4: Guys, I think I figured it out. What I think 99 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 4: you put a little splendor in there, calories. 100 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:39,479 Speaker 1: It makes you feel good and greedybody, a little bit 101 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:44,000 Speaker 1: of that afta. Uh huh. I will say this too. 102 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:46,320 Speaker 1: There was a bit of a crashing point. You know 103 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,600 Speaker 1: when when when this kind of mood strikes, Like there 104 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:51,800 Speaker 1: was a bit of a comdown. 105 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 2: What happened? 106 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: Well, at some point, my boss, he's having a great 107 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,640 Speaker 1: time and then suddenly the switch happened and he just 108 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 1: starts crying and he confesses to everybody in the office 109 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:10,080 Speaker 1: that the revenue is not as good as they projected 110 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:14,120 Speaker 1: for that quarter. No, you know, he just like starts 111 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,840 Speaker 1: filling his guts a little pim you know. I kind 112 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:18,560 Speaker 1: of felt bad, But you know that actually kind of 113 00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 1: like brought us together a little bit. 114 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 4: Some heartfelt bonding. 115 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 3: So no one got in trouble for this. 116 00:05:26,040 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 1: No one really knew what was happening. Why. I feel 117 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 1: a little like it's my secret a little bit. 118 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:33,960 Speaker 3: Why would they not know after like the next day 119 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:36,600 Speaker 3: when they're remembering back and like things are hazy. 120 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 4: I have a super high tolerance too. I bet I'd 121 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 4: be the only one looking around like what's going on. 122 00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,440 Speaker 2: Some of them never came down having a great time 123 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,039 Speaker 2: for the rest. 124 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: Of their life. We actually, a couple hours later, at 125 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:55,040 Speaker 1: one o'clock, the we just the boss decided to cancel 126 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: the rest of the trip, and everyone in the room 127 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 1: just started applodding, and we haven't had one of those 128 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 1: retreats in that in my conference center ever since. 129 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 4: Words you solve the problem. Everyone was happy and there 130 00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 4: was no consequence. 131 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 132 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:12,760 Speaker 3: I wouldn't encourage this to other people. This is highly illegal. 133 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,400 Speaker 2: Next time Brooke is crying in the middle of the studio, 134 00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 2: I'm gonna. 135 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's my own choice. 136 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 2: The text into seven eight, five nine too. If you 137 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 2: have a confession you've been holding on to, we can 138 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 2: mask your voice, hyd your identity, and make you the 139 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,760 Speaker 2: next mass speaker. Phone tabs coming up next.