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Speaker 1: Double Elvis. Blood on the Tracks is a production of

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Speaker 1: I Heart Radio and Double Elvis. Brian Wilson was a

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Speaker 1: musical genius and one of the greatest songwriters of all time.

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Speaker 1: He caught melodies like they were waves. He bottled good

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Speaker 1: vibrations like no one else, and he picked up bad

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Speaker 1: vibrations too. He broke down, he tripped hard. He didn't

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Speaker 1: just hear music, he heard voices. He tried to lose

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Speaker 1: those voices by making a teenage symphony to God called Smile.

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Speaker 1: But somewhere along the way, Brian Wilson lost his mind instead.

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Speaker 1: This is his story. Hello, this is Rhonda Masson again.

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Speaker 1: I'm still compiling these Brian Wilson tapes, and the more

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Speaker 1: I listened, the more varied these tapes seemed to be.

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Speaker 1: There are so many recordings here. I mean, here is

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Speaker 1: one that's just labeled vegetables. It goes on for ages

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Speaker 1: like that. But this is what I really wanted to

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Speaker 1: show you. I've just stumbled across something pretty incredible. It

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Speaker 1: was just labeled with the doodle of the sun. From

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Speaker 1: what I can hear, it's just one session, but it

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Speaker 1: seems to be around ninety hours of tape. I haven't

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Speaker 1: got through it all yet as it's so you know long,

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Speaker 1: but it looks to be all of the parts of

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Speaker 1: the Beach Boys classic Good Vibrations. Let me play the

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Speaker 1: bit I've just found. This is from in between some takes.

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Speaker 1: Sorry for the pause, everyone, I just need to make

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Speaker 1: sure that this room is right. It has to be right.

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Speaker 1: The vibrations need to be perfect. Okay, listen, listen with me.

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Speaker 1: Do you hear that? God, this whole thing isn't right.

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Speaker 1: This place is tainted? Can anyone else feel that? Wait? No, no,

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Speaker 1: this won't work. I'm canceling the session. I'm sorry everyone,

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Speaker 1: pack up. This isn't right. The vibrations aren't They aren't right.

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Speaker 1: If the vibrations aren't right, we can't get the music.

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Speaker 1: And if we can't get the music, we'll just put it.

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Speaker 1: We'll just put with blood on the tracks. Chapter two,

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Speaker 1: Brian Wilson is seeing vibrations one oh five point four

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Speaker 1: b r I a n FM. Good morning, the sun

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Speaker 1: is rising on another day and we're feeling good, good good.

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Speaker 1: Let's stay healthy out there today. Don't forget to eat

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Speaker 1: your vegetables and catch those rays. There's just one remember please,

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Speaker 1: and if you You'll be just fine. That little arrangement

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Speaker 1: we had where the Beach Boys toured and I stayed

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Speaker 1: behind the studio was really paying off. We were making hits.

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Speaker 1: The music sounded great, but it was about to get

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Speaker 1: a whole lot better. We were about to release our

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Speaker 1: best album to date. We began making Pet Sounds in

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Speaker 1: the middle of and by February sixty six, we were

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Speaker 1: pretty much done with the music. Geez. I loved making

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Speaker 1: those songs. The studio had become a place where I

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Speaker 1: felt safe, happy, even down know, I didn't feel like

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Speaker 1: that outside the studio. While I was making those songs.

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Speaker 1: The guy who had that whatever it was, that that

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Speaker 1: breakdown on the plane, he felt like he was a

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Speaker 1: completely different person. It was like I didn't even know him.

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Speaker 1: One time, we were cutting a track called That's Not Me,

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Speaker 1: and one of the musicians, a guy called Steve, turned

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Speaker 1: to me and said, you're nothing like I thought you

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Speaker 1: would be. I asked him what he meant. He said

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Speaker 1: he thought I might be a bit more out there.

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Speaker 1: That kind of exchange hasn't really stopped over the years.

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Speaker 1: People think of me as some sort of volatile or

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Speaker 1: unstable person, but that's not really true, there's just some

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Speaker 1: uneven parts of my brain that can get the better

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Speaker 1: of me. But when I was in the studio recording

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Speaker 1: those tracks, I really felt at ease. The serene studio

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Speaker 1: atmosphere would eventually be shattered. Of course, everything delicate in

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Speaker 1: this world manages to get crushed one way or another.

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Speaker 1: The vibrations need to be perfect. Okay, Yeah. When the

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Speaker 1: band returned for touring, things didn't go so well. Mike,

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Speaker 1: al Carl, and Dennis had just played Asia. They were

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Speaker 1: all in good spirits, but it was kind of awkward

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Speaker 1: having them come back into this environment where I had

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Speaker 1: been in charge for so long. We said about recording

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Speaker 1: some of the vocals, and it was going fine at first,

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Speaker 1: but we hit a roadblock when it came to the song.

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Speaker 1: I know there's an answer. Mike Love didn't like the lyrics.

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Speaker 1: He read them through once and then threw the paper down.

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Speaker 1: I thought he was mad because I've been working with

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Speaker 1: other people on the words for the songs. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if you know, but I enlisted Tony Asher, who

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Speaker 1: worked in advertising. He joined me in writing this song,

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Speaker 1: as did our road manager Terry Satchin. But that's not

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Speaker 1: what Mike was annoyed about at least he said it

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Speaker 1: wasn't He was actually mad about the content of the lyrics.

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Speaker 1: Do you hear that? You see? The song was originally

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Speaker 1: titled hang On to Your Ego, and well it was

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Speaker 1: about taking LSD. Mike didn't like that, not one bit.

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Speaker 1: What the funk are these words? He yelled. I was

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Speaker 1: just about to reply, but he launched into his rant.

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Speaker 1: He screamed that every night on tour they see audiences

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Speaker 1: go wild for the normal beach boy material, and then

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Speaker 1: if we change, the fans will abandon us. This whole

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Speaker 1: thing isn't right. I told him it was just a

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Speaker 1: few different words. It's the words, the music, everything, He replied.

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Speaker 1: Someone told me you were recording dogs in here the

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Speaker 1: other day. Dogs we don't funk with the formula? Is

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Speaker 1: that really how you want to make a hit record?

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Speaker 1: I told him I didn't care, and then I don't

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Speaker 1: know why, but I just went for him. I guess

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Speaker 1: I was frustrated because I had poured my heart into

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Speaker 1: these songs. Maybe there's another problem here, I said, just

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Speaker 1: loud enough for Mike to hear. Can anyone else feel that?

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Speaker 1: I watched this puzzled look drip to cross his face

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Speaker 1: as my brothers and Al became even more uncomfortable. Aren't right?

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Speaker 1: I tried to sound off hand, but I knew my

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Speaker 1: next comment would land hard. I said, I don't think

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Speaker 1: you guys can hack this. You're not cut out for this.

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Speaker 1: Mike erupted and leapt towards me. Carl grabbed him. Fuck you,

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Speaker 1: He shouted, We're out here every single day playing to

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Speaker 1: our fans and you're in here doing god knows what

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Speaker 1: with fucking dogs and l s D. These are the songs.

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Speaker 1: I said, take them or leave them. We didn't speak

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Speaker 1: for the rest of the session. Carl eventually calmed Mike down,

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Speaker 1: but he was still angry. The last thing he said

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Speaker 1: to me that day was I've got a title for

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Speaker 1: the album, Brian's Ego Music. How does that sound. Eventually

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Speaker 1: we got the track down and it turned out pretty good,

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Speaker 1: even with the lyrics altered from the original. Maybe maybe

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Speaker 1: tension and pressure has its place in creativity. Years later,

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Speaker 1: Mike would say he liked the music, but he didn't

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Speaker 1: feel it was the right sound for the band at

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Speaker 1: the time, which is fair enough. We'll have to agree

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Speaker 1: to disagree. Mike's not stupid. You know, he was right

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Speaker 1: about one thing. Drugs. Drugs are at the center of

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Speaker 1: these songs, in fact, for right or wrong, or at

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Speaker 1: the center of my story. And it all started with

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Speaker 1: one trip that changed everything. It's so vast in here,

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Speaker 1: it's so vast. I guess you're wondering how my brain

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Speaker 1: got like this. Man, That was a long time ago.

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Speaker 1: Now things got a little bigger in here. When I

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Speaker 1: smoked grass and listened to the Beatles album Rubber Soul

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Speaker 1: Norwegian would Michelle Man. The songs blew my mind. They

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Speaker 1: literally took my mind away. I felt so competitive in

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Speaker 1: that moment. I thought, God, I want to do something

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Speaker 1: good like that. You know. I felt like music could

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Speaker 1: be more than it was. I felt like I could

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Speaker 1: be more than I was. I just needed some inspiration.

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Speaker 1: The grass and Rubber Soul gave me a good idea.

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Speaker 1: But the real change that came later. That happened the

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Speaker 1: first time I took acid. My life change forever. Lauren Daro,

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Speaker 1: a talent agent I knew, introduced me to acid. Everyone

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Speaker 1: was doing it, and I was interested to see what

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Speaker 1: it could do for me, how it could help me.

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Speaker 1: I still remember taking the acid and putting it on

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Speaker 1: my tongue. It was like my life had been a

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Speaker 1: black and white movie and now everything was in technicolor.

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Speaker 1: It felt so vivid and crisp, like I'd been seeing

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Speaker 1: the world in a blur this whole time. I remember

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Speaker 1: instantly feeling thirsty and going to get a glass of water.

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Speaker 1: After I poured it, I found myself just staring at it.

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Speaker 1: It looked like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

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Speaker 1: The way the light caught it, the way it moved

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Speaker 1: in the glass just incredible. I brought it to my

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Speaker 1: mouth and tasted water for the first time. High God,

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Speaker 1: it tasted so fresh. I felt like it was my

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Speaker 1: first drink of water ever, water water water. I gulped

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Speaker 1: it down and then immediately had another glass water water bottom.

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Speaker 1: It was like it had fallen from heaven, like I've

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Speaker 1: been in the desert for years, or dried it out,

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Speaker 1: and someone had dumped the Pacific Ocean on my head.

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Speaker 1: As I was drinking, something else caught my eye. It

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Speaker 1: was the strangest thing in the air before me. I

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Speaker 1: saw staffs and notes fly by, actual musical notation and

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Speaker 1: just hanging there interrupt your scheduled programming. But this just

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Speaker 1: is the sky's orange black and the grass of light

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Speaker 1: have a break day. Now I was floating. I felt great,

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Speaker 1: But then it all changed. There was this rising feeling

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Speaker 1: of anxiety. It had been there since the start, but

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Speaker 1: I hadn't noticed it until the walls began to move.

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Speaker 1: It was like they were this uh. They were huge

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, like everything was getting bigger and

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Speaker 1: I was getting smaller. I was suffocating under the pressure

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Speaker 1: of the room. The vibrations aren't there. I ran into

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Speaker 1: my bedroom and put my head under the pillow. I

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Speaker 1: don't know why, but I kept thinking of my mom

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Speaker 1: and dad, then just my dad. No. I closed my

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Speaker 1: eyes and saw myself as a younger person, like everything

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Speaker 1: was going backwards faster and faster than I was getting

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Speaker 1: younger and younger. Suddenly I was just a baby sitting

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Speaker 1: there in a diaper, small little, fragile baby. And then

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Speaker 1: I was in the womb, and then I was an egg,

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Speaker 1: and then I was gone, just nothing. I didn't exist,

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Speaker 1: I was no longer there. It wasn't sad. I just

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Speaker 1: didn't exist. I thought of how strange that was, How

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Speaker 1: you couldn't be sad about being gone if you'd never

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Speaker 1: existed in the first place. But at the same time

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Speaker 1: I was there, I was thinking all of these things,

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Speaker 1: so I existed in some form. I couldn't get my

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Speaker 1: head around it. I felt separate from myself, like I

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Speaker 1: had a subjective sense of my life. I didn't know

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Speaker 1: it then, but I clung onto that idea and it

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Speaker 1: found itself in the song I Know there's an answer.

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Speaker 1: That's what the whole trip was like. Scary but compelling.

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Speaker 1: I experienced so much in a short amount of time.

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Speaker 1: I felt like I had seen the entire universe in

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Speaker 1: a matter of hours. Sponsor from reality? Do you have

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Speaker 1: to face the real world? I want to feel closer

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Speaker 1: to God. Where what you need is acid? Acid, which

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Speaker 1: is not illegal yet anyway, so it must be doctor recommended.

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Speaker 1: It's the eper only way to escape the day troubling

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Speaker 1: upbringing acid, pressuring your professional life, ascid problems at home

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Speaker 1: with your wife. Acid it's the only way to escape

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Speaker 1: the day. Acid make our hallucinations like being on flyveryliving

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Speaker 1: your birth and non existence. It also could result in

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Speaker 1: a flashback. You're not consult your doctor. Oh man, sorry,

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Speaker 1: I drifted off there Where was I? Oh? Yeah? Later

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Speaker 1: and still tripping I stumbled around until I found my

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Speaker 1: way back into the living room. Time was meaningless. I

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Speaker 1: saw my piano, so I sat on the bench and

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Speaker 1: started to play. Played a B, than a in F sharp,

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Speaker 1: than a G sharp, before going back to F sharp.

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Speaker 1: I played all those notes again in the in and

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Speaker 1: again for maybe an hour. I just went round and

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Speaker 1: round and round with it. I must have fallen asleep

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Speaker 1: at the piano, because when I woke up, a whole

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Speaker 1: day had passed. I still felt a little dizzy, and

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Speaker 1: everything looked a little bright, but I knew I was

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Speaker 1: coming back down to earth. I sipped the same glass

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Speaker 1: of water from before, but it didn't taste like it

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Speaker 1: did before. I figured I was finally back to normal.

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Speaker 1: But that's the funny thing with drugs. You're never sure

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Speaker 1: when they're done with you. Things were far from being

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Speaker 1: back to normal. In fact, things were about to change forever.

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Speaker 1: Can anyone else feel that? At the piano I started

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Speaker 1: to play something straight away. My hand was possessed, like

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Speaker 1: it had been taken over by God or something. More likely,

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Speaker 1: it was the muscle memory from the trip. I started

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Speaker 1: playing those same notes from before again, to B, the

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Speaker 1: F sharp, the G sharp. I then started mumbling over it.

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Speaker 1: All of a sudden, I saw the melody. I didn't

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Speaker 1: hear it, I actually saw it just hovering over the keys,

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Speaker 1: suspended in mid air. I grabbed it, but not with

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Speaker 1: my hands, but with my mind, and I started singing

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Speaker 1: it as loud as I could. Thirty minutes later and

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Speaker 1: I had the song that would go on to be

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Speaker 1: California Girls done and dusted in half an hour. That's

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Speaker 1: the moment I realized how powerful LSD could be. But

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Speaker 1: you know, stuff like that, songs like California Girls, you

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Speaker 1: have to pay for it. The universe or God or

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Speaker 1: whoever just doesn't give you stuff like that on a plate.

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Speaker 1: You have to pay for it. And I wasn't an exception.

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Speaker 1: Just a week after that first trip, the voices began

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Speaker 1: to speak inside my head. Hello, Brian, your father, and

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Speaker 1: they'd never ever leave. We'll be right back after this.

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Speaker 1: We were were. There's things we can't see, things will

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Speaker 1: never see, things we shouldn't see. Vibrations, Vibrations are everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Ignore them at your peril. Vibrations need to be perfect. Okay,

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Speaker 1: they scare me because they're moving around us, dictating how

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Speaker 1: things are all without us being able to see them?

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Speaker 1: Can anyone else feel that? When I wrote good Vibrations,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking about how people sense instinctively if something

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Speaker 1: is good news or bad news. You know, like when

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Speaker 1: the telephone rings. Sometimes you just know what type of

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Speaker 1: news is waiting for you at the other end. We

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Speaker 1: can sense those vibrations, but we often aren't open to them.

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Speaker 1: This idea first came to me a long time ago,

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Speaker 1: back when I was just a child. I was walking

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Speaker 1: with my mother near our house. Across the street was

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Speaker 1: this huge German shepherd. I had seen him around the

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Speaker 1: neighborhood many times, and on this day he was dozing

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Speaker 1: in someone's front yard, basking in the morning heat. There

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Speaker 1: was a man walking on the sidewalk right past the dog.

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Speaker 1: He seemed nervous, but kind of angry too. Without warning,

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Speaker 1: the dog leapt up from its slumber ran towards the fence. No, no,

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Speaker 1: this won't work. It jumped up, but it couldn't clear it,

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Speaker 1: so it just stood and barked wildly at this guy.

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Speaker 1: Rather than move on or pacify the dog, he hit

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Speaker 1: the fence aggressively and just taunted the dog. The German

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Speaker 1: shepherd was furious. This whole thing isn't right. It buttered

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Speaker 1: against the wire fence, growling. It's spit was all over

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Speaker 1: the hot ground. The man laughed as he walked away

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Speaker 1: and disappeared around the corner. My mother made me cross

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Speaker 1: the road, and slowly we made our way towards the

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Speaker 1: angry beast. I didn't want to go anywhere near it.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't have nderstand why she would want to put

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Speaker 1: us in danger like that. She tapped the fence lightly

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Speaker 1: and bent down to the dog's level. Tentative at first,

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Speaker 1: but eventually the dog stopped barking came over to my mother.

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Speaker 1: It pushed its head into the fence and my mother

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Speaker 1: rubbed its head. She turned to me and she said, Brian,

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Speaker 1: would you like to pat him? Only moments ago this

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Speaker 1: thing looked like it would feast on my blood. Now

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00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:29,800
Speaker 1: it was relaxed, docile, and before I could stop myself,

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Speaker 1: my hand was moving toward it. Right before I touched

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Speaker 1: the dog's fur, my ears buzzed with the tension, and

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Speaker 1: then the dog was resting its head on the fence,

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Speaker 1: pushing against my forearm. You see, my mother said, dogs

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Speaker 1: can pick up on vibrations. It could read a situation

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Speaker 1: or a person immediately. She had a hard job tearing

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Speaker 1: me away from that dog. I wanted to stay there forever.

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Speaker 1: It was all I could see in my mind eyes.

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Speaker 1: I stood in gold Star Studios years later. It was

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Speaker 1: the day of the Beach boys were cutting my song

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Speaker 1: good Vibrations. It was completely silent in the studio. I

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Speaker 1: walked around. Eight or nine musicians stood there watching me,

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Speaker 1: hardly breathing. Do you hear that? I asked that. No

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Speaker 1: one replied, it's not it's not right. I said, it's

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Speaker 1: just not right. No, no, this won't work. I moved

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Speaker 1: to the wall and touched the paneling nothing. Then I

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Speaker 1: put my ear to the wall. All I heard was dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,

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Speaker 1: dumb dumb, dumb, dumb dumb. I pulled my head off

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Speaker 1: the wall quickly and turned to face everyone that They

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00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:58,120
Speaker 1: were all looking at me with white eyes full of expectation. No, no,

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00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:02,200
Speaker 1: this won't work, I said, I'm canceling this session. I'm sorry, everyone,

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00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,399
Speaker 1: pack up. This isn't right. The vibrations aren't right, the

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00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,720
Speaker 1: vibrations aren't right, and we can't hit the music in

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00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 1: Chuck Britts my recording engineer begged me to reconsider. He

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00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 1: told me I had wasted fifty dollars already wasted. I

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00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:23,400
Speaker 1: said to him, wasted. We're making a pocket symphony here.

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Speaker 1: Stuff like this takes time. I explained to him that

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00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 1: everything had to be just right in these sessions, how

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Speaker 1: we were creating something we've never made before, something that

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Speaker 1: no one had ever made before. I told him how

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00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:41,040
Speaker 1: I wanted this to be like a Beach Boys Gershwin movement,

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Speaker 1: but with Phil Specter's production. No better than Phil Specter.

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Speaker 1: You hear that Phil. I wanted this to be something

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Speaker 1: that would challenge the Beatles to be better. I wanted

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00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,679
Speaker 1: those lads in Liverpool to hear and feel how I

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00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:59,080
Speaker 1: felt when I heard Robert Soul for the first time.

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00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:02,560
Speaker 1: It took a while to get the song right. Of course.

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Speaker 1: I stitched together a lot of ideas feels as I

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00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,879
Speaker 1: called them together, you know, to make a song. We

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00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,400
Speaker 1: recorded it like that too, all in blocks. It took

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Speaker 1: months and yes, a lot of money. I guess Check

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00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: was right about that, but I didn't mind. I knew

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Speaker 1: we were onto something. Can anyone else feel that everything

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00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:28,040
Speaker 1: came together on that track? It's full of good ideas,

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00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,760
Speaker 1: and not just from me. My brother Carl suggested the cello,

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00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 1: and we had the inventor of the electro thereman Paul Tanner,

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00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:40,200
Speaker 1: playing his instrument on the track. The music came together slowly,

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00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 1: but it was like being born. It was a process.

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Speaker 1: It had to be the lyrics, though they were even harder.

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00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 1: Tony Asher had written some good words to go with mine,

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Speaker 1: but I wasn't that happy with them. To be honest,

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Speaker 1: this whole thing isn't right. We had the good, good,

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00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,439
Speaker 1: good vibration and bit, but not a whole lot else.

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00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 1: It needed something, but I didn't know what it. Turns out,

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00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 1: I didn't have far to look. I was at the

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00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:13,560
Speaker 1: piano again in the studio one day, a little high again.

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00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 1: I was just playing the song on the keys, thinking

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00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 1: of all its different moving parts, singing what little lyrics

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00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 1: I had that I liked. And that's when Mike Love

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00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 1: came in. Is this the song you were talking about?

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00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 1: He asked, Sure, I answered, Vibrations, he asked. I told

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Speaker 1: him about the encounter with the dog and what it

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Speaker 1: meant to me, And as I did, his whole face

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00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:39,640
Speaker 1: started to change. He got so excited. You're right, he said,

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00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 1: there's vibrations everywhere. This is what's happening down in San Francisco,

347
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,719
Speaker 1: the peace and love movement down there. This is it, Brian.

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00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,399
Speaker 1: It's all about vibrations, the feelings in the air. It

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00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 1: has to be right. He grabbed a pen from the

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00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,800
Speaker 1: top of the piano scribbled something on his arm. I

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00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:03,119
Speaker 1: hadn't seen him like that. Ages so creatively inspired. We

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00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 1: didn't really discuss it after that. He kind of kept

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Speaker 1: me in the dark until we were all in CBS

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Speaker 1: Columbia Square ready to record the vocals. I was a

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00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:15,119
Speaker 1: bit anxious, thinking maybe he'd given up on it, But

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00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 1: something incredible happened when we all got together. We were

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Speaker 1: all standing around at the microphone. Then Mike finally walked in.

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Speaker 1: Are we ready, he asked, holding up a legal pad.

359
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 1: He later told me he'd written the final draft of

360
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:30,400
Speaker 1: the lyrics in the car on the way to the studio.

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00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: I should have guessed they were so fresh. When I

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00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 1: heard the vocals that day, complete with Mike's new words,

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00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 1: my mind raised. If this was how the next album

364
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,119
Speaker 1: was going to sound, it was going to blow everyone's minds.

365
00:23:44,560 --> 00:24:17,360
Speaker 1: I was wrong, though, I wouldn't blow everyone's mind just mine.

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00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 1: Louis Epstein walks down Hollywood Boulevard, gazing up at the

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Speaker 1: street lamps adorned with multicolored Christmas lights. He stops and

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00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 1: looks up at them properly before catching himself. He cannot

369
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: be late today. He has to be at work on time.

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00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 1: Today one of his regulars is coming in, and this

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00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 1: one is a V I P. He sees the huge

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00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 1: sign come into view as he briskly navigates the sidewalk.

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Speaker 1: The words Pickwick Books dominate this section of the street.

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00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:51,240
Speaker 1: Louis feels a sense of pride when he sees them,

375
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:53,879
Speaker 1: and moments later he's unlocking the front door and stepping

376
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,800
Speaker 1: into the shop, with a familiar fragrance of old books

377
00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,480
Speaker 1: greets him, as it does every day. It smells like home.

378
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:04,600
Speaker 1: Epstein turns on the shops radio and the sound of

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00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 1: kf w B filsy air. He sits behind the counter

380
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,600
Speaker 1: and waits. He doesn't know what time it will happen,

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00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 1: but he knows it will happen. It's not until the

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00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 1: afternoon that he hears the corvette pull up outside, and

383
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 1: as if by design, when the man steps out of

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00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:23,840
Speaker 1: the car, kf w B begins to play a California Girls.

385
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,479
Speaker 1: As the man enters the shop, he shoots Epstein a smile.

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00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,640
Speaker 1: That's a great song, he says, you should know. Epstein replies,

387
00:25:33,760 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 1: he watches as Brian Wilson heads for the health section.

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00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,520
Speaker 1: Almost every week Brian visits the store, and almost every

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00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 1: week he goes straight to that section. He's always buying

390
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 1: books on physiology, which Epstein never knows how to take.

391
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: Is this a joke? Is it a cry for help?

392
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:53,359
Speaker 1: The rumors of Wilson's drug taking and radical behavior have

393
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 1: made l a showbiz gossip groups, and there's also talk

394
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,440
Speaker 1: that Brian is turning his famous group into a psychedelic

395
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: rock band. Epstein can believe it because today Brian holds

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00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 1: a copy of Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, which he

397
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:13,280
Speaker 1: clutches tightly to his chest. Epstein usually leaves his special

398
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 1: guests alone, but today he can't help it. With the

399
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 1: Beach Boys song still playing on the radio, he feels

400
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:22,080
Speaker 1: he can do what he never does. Engaged, the star

401
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 1: Jeezy says, instantly regretting his choice of words, I just

402
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:30,800
Speaker 1: love California Girls. It's swell you like that one? Brian replies,

403
00:26:31,040 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: They all like that one, Epstein babbles on about pianos,

404
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,639
Speaker 1: chords and harmonies, and Brian doesn't reply. Epstein changes the

405
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:43,280
Speaker 1: subject starts talking about the Beatles, the Birds, Dylan, but

406
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:47,439
Speaker 1: Brian seems even less engaged. What Louis Epstein mistakes in

407
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,920
Speaker 1: that moment as rudeness from his famous customer is actually

408
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 1: a chemical reaction in the brain. The moment Epstein mentions

409
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: California girls, Brian gets a feeling. It starts small at

410
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 1: the back of his head, but it grows like a fire,

411
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: spreading to his whole brain. Epstein talks and talks, but

412
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 1: Brian's mind can't process what's being said. At first, it's

413
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,639
Speaker 1: just dizziness, but after a few seconds, Brian feels his

414
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: eyes blur. He looks at the copy of Psycho Cybernetics

415
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 1: in his hands, and the letters begin to move around

416
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,840
Speaker 1: the page. Seconds later, the book feels like it's vibrating

417
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,720
Speaker 1: in his hands. He blinks quickly to try to snap

418
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: out of it, but it only makes it worse. As

419
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: he looks up to the rows of books from the

420
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 1: floor to the ceiling, they all start to melt like

421
00:27:34,200 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 1: candle wax, and the spines merge together. The colors running,

422
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 1: a sludgy mass of blue, red, green, and orange that

423
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:45,680
Speaker 1: slides down the walls. He flashes back to writing California

424
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,520
Speaker 1: Girls at the piano, he hears the notes ring in

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00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:52,960
Speaker 1: his ears b F sharp, G sharn. He doesn't know

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Speaker 1: what is happening. He just knows he's terrified. California Girls

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00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:00,679
Speaker 1: is no longer playing on the raid you, but it

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00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:03,760
Speaker 1: continues to ring in his ears. He smashes his hand

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Speaker 1: against his head, trying to get rid of the sound,

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Speaker 1: and as he does, he knocks himself off balance. He

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00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: stumbles and falls into a bookshelf. He's sinking in the

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00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: dripping colors of wax, like he's surrounded by thick water.

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Speaker 1: California Girl sounds distant now. Brian struggles to breathe. He thinks,

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Speaker 1: this is it? What is it? A heart attack, a stroke,

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00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:28,359
Speaker 1: a brain aneurysm. He closes his eyes and accepts his fate.

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00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,000
Speaker 1: But when he opens his eyes, Epstein is standing over him.

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00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 1: The shop owner's face looks jumbled and elongated. It reminds

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00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 1: him of his favorite Edward Monk painting. The words coming

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00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: from Epstein's mouth are delayed, and Brian watches his lips move,

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00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 1: but it's a few seconds before the sound comes through.

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Speaker 1: Are you okay? Epstein as Brian tries to nod but

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00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 1: doesn't know if he manages it. Are you on something, man?

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00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:57,040
Speaker 1: We can get a doctor. Brian manages to say no,

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00:28:57,240 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: and he hears the word reverbery, adding to a faint

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00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 1: sound of California girls in his mind. Epstein lowers his

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00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 1: voice a little. Are you sure you haven't taken any acid?

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00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 1: Not for a while? Brian responds, somehow, managing to form

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00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,880
Speaker 1: the words. Epstein asked if he's ever had a flashback,

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00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,440
Speaker 1: but it's too late. Brian's eyes are closing, and then

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00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:25,600
Speaker 1: his body shuts down. When he wakes up, he's at

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Speaker 1: home in bed. The melting colors from the shop are

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00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 1: blurred in his eyes still, but as he slowly regains focus,

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00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 1: he realizes it's the Christmas lights on the tree in

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Speaker 1: front of him. He looks to his right on the nightstand.

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00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 1: It's that copy of Psycho Cybernetics. Inside the front cover

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00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,440
Speaker 1: has written a note that reads, this one's on the house,

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00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 1: Louis Epstein. Brian lays back down and watches the Christmas

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00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 1: lights twinkle. He thinks of the things he saw on

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Speaker 1: the bookstore. Worried I'll have a similar experience again. He

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00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,600
Speaker 1: pulls the duvet cover up over his face. The funk

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00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 1: is going on. He doesn't know the answer to his

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00:30:03,320 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: own question, but he suspects it's about to put a

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Speaker 1: whole lot of blood on the tracks. Blood on the

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Speaker 1: Tracks is produced by Double Elvis in partnership with I

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Speaker 1: Heart Radio. It's hosted an executive produced by me Jake Brennan,

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00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,720
Speaker 1: also executive produced by Brady Sadly. Zeth Lundy is lead

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00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 1: editor and producer. This episode was written by Ben Burrow,

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00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 1: mixing and sound designed by Colin Fleming. Additional music and

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00:30:44,720 --> 00:30:48,880
Speaker 1: score elements by Ryan Spraaker. This season features Chris Anzaloni

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00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 1: is the voice of Brian Wilson. Sources for this episode

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00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: are available at Double Elvis dot com on the Blood

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00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: in the Tracks series page. Follow Double Elvis on Instagram

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00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: at double Elvis and on Twitch at Graceland Talks, and

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00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 1: you can talk to me per Usual on Instagram and

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00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 1: Twitter at disgrace Land Pod, Rock and Roll, Dike Crazy,

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00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:23,080
Speaker 1: her Dad,