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Speaker 1: Trust isn't just nice to have, but it's good for business.

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Speaker 1: There are tons of data that's from Edelman's Trust Barometer

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Speaker 1: to Gallop Pole and they say that when trust is present,

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Speaker 1: employees are twenty one percent more productive, fifty percent more

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Speaker 1: of your employees are retained, and forty percent less burnout.

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Speaker 1: So it's not just oh kumba yah, we trust each other,

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Speaker 1: you know, let's do a trust fall.

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Speaker 2: It's more than that. It's actually good for the bottom line.

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Speaker 3: Hey ba fam, Welcome back to the Brown Mbision podcast.

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Speaker 3: I have the pleasure of being alongside one of my

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Speaker 3: favorite humans Men to Hearts today mend to Heart's welcome

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Speaker 3: to Brown Ambition.

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Speaker 1: Mandy happy to be here. Thank you so much and

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Speaker 1: equally one of my favorites humans as well.

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Speaker 2: So honored to me.

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Speaker 3: Thanks and a human that I don't ever get to see. Really,

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Speaker 3: I think the last time I saw you, I was

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Speaker 3: in LA for a hot minute. We happen to cross

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Speaker 3: paths at a conference and I just really appreciated you

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Speaker 3: taking the time to like, did we ever get coffee

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Speaker 3: or what happen? I forget We talked about it, we intended.

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Speaker 2: To, we did, but we did get to sit together

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Speaker 2: at lunchtime.

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Speaker 3: And we did okay, all blurring together. It doesn't matter.

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Speaker 3: But Minda you know because you've been on the show

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Speaker 3: before and I have gushed about you before. But for

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Speaker 3: those who don't know, Minda Hearts is a trailblazer for me,

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Speaker 3: at least in the career professional advice author space. You

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Speaker 3: wrote the one of the first or it's definitely one

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Speaker 3: of the most popular black female written professional and career

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Speaker 3: development books called The Memo, which if y'all don't have

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Speaker 3: the Memo, I don't, I don't know what's wrong with you.

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Speaker 4: Please go get it.

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Speaker 3: But this is you're coming out with your fourth book

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Speaker 3: this summer, Yes, and this one is this one's quite different.

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Speaker 3: So your new book is called talk to Me Nice,

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Speaker 3: Talk to Me Nice. The seven trust language is for

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Speaker 3: a better workplace. So this isn't so much targeting to

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Speaker 3: like well, you tell me, but it doesn't feel like

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Speaker 3: it's targeting like the worker. It's more like the institution,

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Speaker 3: like how can we actually as company as workplaces, figure

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Speaker 3: out how to better communicate with our staff our employees,

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Speaker 3: but also like how we as the worker bees can

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Speaker 3: communicate better with leadership?

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Speaker 2: Is that right? Yes?

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Speaker 1: Yes, and it's are you a leader and you've somehow

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Speaker 1: we wrote a trust maybe not intentionally, but it's happened,

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Speaker 1: and there's a communication breakdown.

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Speaker 2: How do you get that back with your staff? But

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Speaker 2: also if you're.

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Speaker 1: An employee and you can't get what you need, how

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Speaker 1: do you ask for it without losing your job?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: So it's giving both parties the language they need to

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Speaker 1: be able to communicate better and close that expectation gap.

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Speaker 3: So why this book, Now, that's a great question.

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Speaker 1: To be honest, I really didn't think I was going

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Speaker 1: to write any more books. Mandy, the Memo right Within

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Speaker 1: and You Were More Than Magic are three of my babies,

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Speaker 1: and they were focused and centered around black and brown

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Speaker 1: women and young women in the workplace or in their

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Speaker 1: journeys to finding their voice. And I thought, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I cracked the door open for others to write their books.

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Speaker 1: And I felt like I did did my big one

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Speaker 1: with these books. And I just didn't like I needed

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Speaker 1: to add any more to the conversation that I wanted

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Speaker 1: others to take the baton and do that. And then

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Speaker 1: two years ago I woke up at like three o'clock

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Speaker 1: in the morning to use the bathroom. Right, I'm getting older,

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Speaker 1: so I you know, I can't sometimes sleep.

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Speaker 4: Through the night, you know, you know, we know.

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Speaker 2: So I got up and.

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Speaker 1: I thought, and I had this like voice in my

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Speaker 1: head saying, what if there were love languages for the workplace?

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Speaker 1: What about the trust languages? And I just kind of

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Speaker 1: wrote that in my notes and kind of set it

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Speaker 1: to the side, and then I kept thinking about it

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Speaker 1: and coming back to it. I'm like, yeah, you know,

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Speaker 1: we expect trust in our romantic relationships, our platonic relationships.

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Speaker 1: Why wouldn't we expect that in a place that will

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Speaker 1: spend ninety thousand hours of our life at the workplace?

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Speaker 4: Is that real?

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Speaker 2: That? And so it's like, why wouldn't we want trust

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Speaker 2: there too?

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Speaker 1: And so I just started kind of mulling over it,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, well, maybe maybe I have one more

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Speaker 1: book in me. And I called this my crossover album

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Speaker 1: because of course I still talk about some of the

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Speaker 1: voices that aren't inside the workplace and how trust is

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Speaker 1: being roaded. But trust is a universal issue, a global issue,

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Speaker 1: and so I wanted to be able to tackle that

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Speaker 1: a little bit differently in this book.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, listen, it's been five years since the summer of

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Speaker 3: twenty twenty. I was in corporate America at the time.

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Speaker 3: I think, like so many other workers, you get the

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Speaker 3: emails from your CEO about how heartbroken they are, but

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Speaker 3: what's happening in this country and you have these new commitments.

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Speaker 3: Everyone's got a die director. You know, they've got their

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Speaker 3: their statements on what's happening in the racial awakening and

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Speaker 3: racial reckoning that we're going through, and they all make

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Speaker 3: these big, lofty promises and blah blah blahlah blah. Five

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Speaker 3: years later, I know you couldn't have planned it, but

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Speaker 3: the trust is broken in so many ways because we're

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Speaker 3: just seeing this, like I mean, this complete about face

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Speaker 3: in the other direction. Of course now with our new

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Speaker 3: leadership and power. So I feel like this book is

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Speaker 3: extremely timely. I'm just I'm wondering, like your perspective as

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Speaker 3: a black woman or for black women who working in

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Speaker 3: corporate today, like is there any going back? Like, can

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Speaker 3: we are we actually capable of trusting organizations again? Because

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Speaker 3: there's so much cynicism, rightfully so, about the lip service

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Speaker 3: that leaders pay to our community only to then turn

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Speaker 3: around when it better suits them and go back on

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Speaker 3: what they say. What their promises are, is that trust rebuildable?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what, Mandy, I think the answer is yes.

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Speaker 1: And that kind of is the thesis of talk to

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Speaker 1: me nice. Is if trust can be built, it can

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Speaker 1: be broken, and if it can be broken, it can

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Speaker 1: be rebuilt.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: But it takes an intentionality to be able to do that.

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Speaker 1: And I think part of it is we just don't

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Speaker 1: know how to ask for it. Because if you're my

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Speaker 1: manager and you said all these wonderful things about how

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Speaker 1: I am important in the workplace and this is inclusive,

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Speaker 1: and then now you're saying something different and demonstrating something different,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to come to you and ask you, like, hey,

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Speaker 1: what's going on? You know, can we have a conversation?

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Speaker 1: You know, six months ago this was important and now

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Speaker 1: it seems like it's not. That might ruffle some feathers, right,

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Speaker 1: and I can't go to you and say, you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't trust you anymore. You know, it's just not

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Speaker 1: going to pan out.

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Speaker 2: Well.

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Speaker 1: But I think that through the language of the trust

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Speaker 1: languages to say, you know what, I would love to

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Speaker 1: talk about what a little more transparency looks like. I

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Speaker 1: noticed that this was a priority for the company, and

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Speaker 1: I just want to understand that, you know, going forward,

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Speaker 1: what does it look like?

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Speaker 2: Right? Can we have a conversation like that?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: Built on transparency and transparency is one of the trust

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Speaker 1: languages in my book. But transparency isn't about telling everything,

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Speaker 1: giving all the information. Transparency is also saying I don't

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Speaker 1: have all the answers right now, but as things arise,

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Speaker 1: as you feel a concern, feel comfortable enough to approach

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Speaker 1: me with questions, and if I have the answers, I'll

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Speaker 1: provide them. And if I don't have them, I'll tell

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Speaker 1: you that.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: That would make me feel so much better as a

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Speaker 1: black woman or anybody who feels like they're on the

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Speaker 1: margins to say, Okay, maybe I could trust a little

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Speaker 1: bit versus let's just sweep everything under the rug and

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Speaker 1: there's nothing to see here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, trust is a process, and usually we

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Speaker 3: learn about the love languages.

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Speaker 4: Right. And I'm in.

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Speaker 3: A I've been married for eight years now and together

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Speaker 3: with my partner for a lot of years, an embarrassing number.

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Speaker 3: I don't know, it feels crazy. I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 3: understand how I have an eight year marriage, aren't I

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Speaker 3: twenty four?

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Speaker 4: I think doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 3: But love languages, I think they are, like they're very.

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Speaker 4: And even gen Z talks about love languages and all that.

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Speaker 3: What do you think, like, are the seven workplace love languages?

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Speaker 3: Are they similar? Are they different? I mean there's seven

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Speaker 3: of them versus like, however many four or five?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Do they mirror the love languages?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 3: Can you tell us a little bit about them without

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Speaker 3: giving everything away in the book, because y'all got to.

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Speaker 4: Go get it.

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Speaker 2: Yes, please get it.

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Speaker 4: Tell me about the seven trust languages.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So for me and the five love languages, one

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Speaker 1: of my languages is words of affirmation, right, and so

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Speaker 1: one of the trust languages is acknowledgment because I think

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Speaker 1: oftentimes what I found is people would come to me

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Speaker 1: after a talk or in my DM and they would say, minda,

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Speaker 1: I don't trust my manager, I don't trust HR, or

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Speaker 1: I don't trust my colleagues, like you know.

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Speaker 2: They're backstabbers all the things.

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Speaker 1: And when I found is what people were really saying

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Speaker 1: is what they weren't saying. Maybe they don't trust their

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Speaker 1: manager or their colleagues, and that might be true, but

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Speaker 1: what they were really saying is that a need that

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Speaker 1: they have is not being met because that person isn't

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Speaker 1: aware that you even need it. Right, So, for example,

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Speaker 1: I would say, well, what you're really saying is you

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Speaker 1: need more acknowledgment. If you were acknowledged for some of

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Speaker 1: the work that you're doing, these projects that you keep.

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Speaker 1: You know, you've been traveling for twelve months out of

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Speaker 1: the year and nobody has said anything. Now they're sending

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Speaker 1: you on another assignment. You just need some acknowledgement. If

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Speaker 1: you had a little more acknowledgment, would that provide a

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Speaker 1: little more trust for you? And then we started to

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Speaker 1: unpack what's actually underneath the trust. And if you know

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Speaker 1: that acknowledgment is important to you, how do you ask

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Speaker 1: your manager or your colleague for it? Right in a

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Speaker 1: way that they could probably give that to you, because

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Speaker 1: nobody's going around the workplace with a crystal ball saying

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Speaker 1: what does Mandy need for me to show trust?

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Speaker 2: Right? But I let sound like a couple therapy. If

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Speaker 2: I know that, then I could know my coffee order.

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Speaker 4: But and wait, no, wrong topic.

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Speaker 1: Right, wrong topic? But I think we do act like that. Right, Well,

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Speaker 1: you should know I've been working here for ten years.

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Speaker 1: You don't know that I need to be acknowledged, Well,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I have to manage like a fifty

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Speaker 1: other people and one hundred other things. So no, I

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Speaker 1: don't know that. But now if you tell me that,

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Speaker 1: and now I know that that's what you need, then

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Speaker 1: maybe I can provide that.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: And so we're closing this expectation of trust. And I

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Speaker 1: feel like through the seven trust language, so acknowledgment is

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Speaker 1: one transparency is another.

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Speaker 2: Sensitivity.

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Speaker 1: I feel like sensitivity right now in our workplaces is

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Speaker 1: so important because we are talking about certain things that

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Speaker 1: are a little more taboo that we thought we could

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Speaker 1: talk about even last year, that we're not able to

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Speaker 1: bring up now, you know. And so what would it

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Speaker 1: look like even if I sit on one side of

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Speaker 1: the aisle?

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Speaker 2: I think about, you.

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Speaker 1: Know what if I say this thing to a group

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Speaker 1: of people who I know they feel differently about my

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Speaker 1: political choices, is that going to eat road.

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Speaker 2: Trust or enhance trust.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to practice the language of sensitivity to say,

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Speaker 1: you know what, this isn't the time for me to

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Speaker 1: wear my red hat to the function, right, you know so,

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Speaker 1: because that's going to erode trust and vice versa. So

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Speaker 1: I think if we're just a little more in tune

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Speaker 1: and self aware about what people need to do their

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Speaker 1: best work. Then we can have an environment where everybody

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Speaker 1: can thrive and not just survive.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to interrupt the love languages. We've got sensitivity, transparency,

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Speaker 3: I hope you have them written down. Transparent, appreciation, no acknowledgment, acknowledgment.

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Speaker 2: So you got three there.

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Speaker 1: Another one is security, and that's emotional, intellectual, and physical right.

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Speaker 1: So it's not just psychological safety, but what about your

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Speaker 1: intellectual property. When you're in a meeting and you say

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Speaker 1: the big idea and then somebody takes it as their

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Speaker 1: own right, you want to know that you could voice

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Speaker 1: your concerns and not worry about somebody running off and

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Speaker 1: saying that it's their own.

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Speaker 2: Another language is feedback. Right.

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Speaker 1: Oftentimes you might not trust somebody, but what is it

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Speaker 1: that you really need?

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Speaker 2: Is it touch? Need more feedback? Right?

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Speaker 1: And feedback could provide a little more trust in that relationship.

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Speaker 1: Another one follow through. Is it that you don't trust

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Speaker 1: hr or do you need them to follow through? When

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Speaker 1: you make a concern and then there's a conversation that's

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Speaker 1: being had. I provide the information, they respond after they've

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Speaker 1: had time to process it, and now we find a solution,

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Speaker 1: we need a feedback loop. And then lastly is demonstration,

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Speaker 1: and that's you know, the action. So for example, you

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Speaker 1: mentioned DEI being like a big topic of conversation. So

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Speaker 1: many companies were like down for the cause, ten toes down,

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Speaker 1: and now all of a sudden, they're like that Simpson

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Speaker 1: meme where Homer's like moving back from the from the

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Speaker 1: bushes and nobody wants to talk about it. But demonstration

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Speaker 1: is saying, Okay, even though we know that politically we

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Speaker 1: might not be able to say these things right now,

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Speaker 1: we're demonstrating that inclusion is still important here. You don't

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Speaker 1: have to be a woman or LGBTQ or a person

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Speaker 1: of color and worry because we're still committed to the

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Speaker 1: things because we're demonstrating that each and every day, right

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Speaker 1: and so again, demonstration is the action. So when I

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Speaker 1: think about trust, it's a noun anaverb, and it's very

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Speaker 1: important for us to be activating that each and every day.

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Speaker 1: Trust is in a one time event, it's a culture,

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Speaker 1: it's a lifestyle inside the workplace.

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Speaker 3: I'm digesting everything you said, and I'm wondering, could we

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Speaker 3: add an eighth love language, and could it be money?

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Speaker 4: Could it be like aay me nice?

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Speaker 2: That's that acknowledgement, right, That's.

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Speaker 4: That's the acknowledgment. Okay.

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Speaker 3: I think a lot of people are feeling like, well,

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Speaker 3: I would love to be like given feedback and all that,

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Speaker 3: but I'd also like to be paid well. So that's

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Speaker 3: under the acknowledgment umbrella. Okay, good, Just making sure.

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Speaker 1: Well listen, money is a love is my love language,

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Speaker 1: my trust language, all the all the languages.

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Speaker 4: Money talks. You know.

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Speaker 3: Like one of the things about this type of book

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Speaker 3: is I feel like it's incredible and it's such a

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Speaker 3: great tool, but it can be challenging of both people

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Speaker 3: on the sides of a conversation don't have the same framework.

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Speaker 4: To work from.

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Speaker 3: So what advice would you have for someone who's reading

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Speaker 3: your book and let's just say they are, you know,

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Speaker 3: they are having issues with higher ups or hr whoever,

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Speaker 3: and they're wanting to come to the table and have

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Speaker 3: a conversation using one of these trust languages, but they

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Speaker 3: are getting resistance on the other side because that person

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Speaker 3: is not as committed to having like a productive conversation.

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Speaker 3: How do you get this book in the hands of

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Speaker 3: like all the managers and the senior level people, so

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Speaker 3: that when we I'm putting myself in the in the

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Speaker 3: shoes of an employee, come to them like they are

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Speaker 3: prepared to have that kind of conversation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, that's a great question.

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Speaker 1: And one of the things I was so intentional about

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Speaker 1: with this book is providing tons of scripts so that

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Speaker 1: the employee, even if the person on the other end

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Speaker 1: doesn't even know what you're talking about, because you're probably

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Speaker 1: not going to say, hey, my trust language, Bob is

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Speaker 1: acknowledgment and sensitivity, because they're not going to know probably

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Speaker 1: what you mean. But I have a framework in language

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Speaker 1: that you could use to say, you know what, I've

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Speaker 1: been on this project for the last several months. What

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Speaker 1: really helps me do my best work is when you

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Speaker 1: provide me a little more feedback. Is that something we

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Speaker 1: can partner on right now? That signals to that person

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Speaker 1: They don't have to know what any of this means,

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Speaker 1: but they do know what.

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Speaker 2: Feedback looks like, right, And then we get.

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Speaker 1: To provide examples of after I finish a sprint, it

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Speaker 1: would be great to know did.

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Speaker 2: I hit expectations? Did I meet them?

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Speaker 1: Did I succeed them, whatever that might look like to you.

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Speaker 1: And then this provides us a framework because now we

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Speaker 1: can stop creating a narrative in our mind that may

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Speaker 1: or may not be true about if this person is

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Speaker 1: invested in our success or not. They might not just

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Speaker 1: be thinking about that you need that, right. So, now

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Speaker 1: that I've positioned myself to actually have a conversation that

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Speaker 1: they're aware of, now we could sit back and say, Okay,

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Speaker 1: now I'll know if I could trust them or not

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Speaker 1: if they're starting to provide me that feedback. And so

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Speaker 1: my hope is that managers will get this book and

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Speaker 1: read it, and even if their employees don't understand what

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Speaker 1: trust languages are, you ask them what trust look like

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Speaker 1: for you on the team, right, because.

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Speaker 2: I want to provide that for you.

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Speaker 1: It's less about trust issues and more of a communication

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Speaker 1: solve right, because we don't know how to talk to

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Speaker 1: each other and people are fearful to bring certain things up.

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Speaker 1: So I'm hopeful that talk to me nice will create

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Speaker 1: the necessary conversations to be able to talk about trust

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Speaker 1: that in a way that it doesn't have to be scary, right,

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Speaker 1: because I think sometimes when we put it on the

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Speaker 1: table that trust might be broken. People don't want to

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Speaker 1: accept that because that can look kind of negative or

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Speaker 1: sound kind of negative. But when we talk about what

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Speaker 1: do we need to communicate better here and what do

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Speaker 1: we need to make sure that everybody gets what they

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Speaker 1: need to do their best work, I.

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Speaker 2: Feel like it's framing. I don't know if you.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure your listeners have heard. It's not what you

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Speaker 1: say about how you say it. So if we package

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Speaker 1: it up in a way that can kind of manage

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Speaker 1: up to our leaders, then I feel like it's a

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Speaker 1: it's a possibility, and we got to give it a shot.

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Speaker 1: Like if people know what you need, then maybe they

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Speaker 1: can provide it. But if we never say it, you know,

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Speaker 1: closed mouths don't get fed, right.

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Speaker 3: And I love that you have those scripts in there. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: especially at a time when it feels like people are running.

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Speaker 3: My cousin, she's twenty six, twenty seven. She's like, I

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Speaker 3: am using chat GPT to help me figure out what

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Speaker 3: to say back to this person I'm texting. It's like

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Speaker 3: a challenging her roommate or whatever. It's a challenging conversation.

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Speaker 3: But we need human we need that, we need the

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Speaker 3: mendas and It's like, if y'all have an opportunity to

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Speaker 3: get someone who has been giving professional workplace advice for

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Speaker 3: how long have you been in this business?

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Speaker 2: Twenty fifteen? Oh my god, you know since I was

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Speaker 2: five years old.

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Speaker 4: Yes, you were a child prodigy. That's right, because you're fifteen.

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Speaker 3: You've been doing it for so long, and I just

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Speaker 3: love I think that this is the access to, you know,

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Speaker 3: someone like you. It's how we get our message out there.

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Speaker 3: It's how we give advice without actually being able to

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Speaker 3: touch every single person. I mean, I want to talk

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Speaker 3: a little bit about repairing broken trust and who is

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Speaker 3: responsible for that. I guess it's a two part question,

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Speaker 3: which I know everyone loves, especially me who can never

387
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Speaker 3: remember anything, But I'm thinking about how do we repair

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Speaker 3: broken trust in the workplace? And then also the second

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Speaker 3: part of that is like who's responsible? Like who really

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Speaker 3: carries the responsibility of repairing that kind of trust? How

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Speaker 3: do we make companies care about breaking our trust?

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Speaker 2: You know? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Well, I'll say this trust isn't just nice to have,

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Speaker 1: but it's good for business. There are tons of data

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Speaker 1: that's from Edelman's Trust Barometer to Gallop poll and they

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Speaker 1: say that when trust is present, employees are twenty one

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Speaker 1: percent more productive, fifty percent more of your employees are retained,

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Speaker 1: and forty percent less burnout. So it's not just oh, kumbayah,

399
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,399
Speaker 1: we trust each other, you know, let's do a trust fall.

400
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Speaker 1: It's more than that. It's actually good for the bottom line.

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Speaker 1: So trust is good, you know, for everybody. So that

402
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,920
Speaker 1: should be part of our pillars and our values because

403
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Speaker 1: that's going to benefit us in the long run. So

404
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,280
Speaker 1: for those people who are like, oh, we don't need trust, no,

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Speaker 1: you absolutely do.

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Speaker 4: Like I'm paying you, So what are we even hearing

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Speaker 4: to do? Like, just do your job, don't have to

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Speaker 4: say it.

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Speaker 3: And the way that's your this is giving, like very

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Speaker 3: I feel like this is going to be like catnip

411
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Speaker 3: for all right. Media personalities who just love a snowflake moment, like,

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Speaker 3: listen to this book. They want us to learn their

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Speaker 3: their trust languages. Just do your job, like we know

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Speaker 3: that to me is what's coming up.

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Speaker 4: And it will and.

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Speaker 2: People will say, well, why do I need to do

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Speaker 2: all that? Right?

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Speaker 1: But the reality is when trust is broken, we can't

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Speaker 1: do our best work. And when trust is broken, our

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Speaker 1: mental health hangs in the balance, Right, and we're anxious

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Speaker 1: and we're fearful, and again we don't feel secure in

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Speaker 1: our roles and we're going to leave.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: Fifty percent of people leave their workplaces because of their manager.

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Speaker 2: So think about that.

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Speaker 1: If our managers were equipped with the tools they need

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Speaker 1: to be successful, then that helps them be the coach

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Speaker 1: that their team needs them to be.

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Speaker 2: And so trust is a two way street, right.

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Speaker 1: Just like any of the main love languages that Gary

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Speaker 1: Chapman put out into the world, nobody can give me

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Speaker 1: words of affirmation if I don't articulate that that's what

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Speaker 1: I need.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: So with the workplace trust languages, your manager may need

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Speaker 1: help knowing what you need because they're just not thinking

437
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Speaker 1: about you day to day in that way and that

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Speaker 1: you know, that's another issue. But if I empower myself

439
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Speaker 1: and take it back and let them know what good

440
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Speaker 1: looks like to me, I have a primary language, I

441
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Speaker 1: have a secondary language, and I have a tertiary language.

442
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:19,679
Speaker 2: Now, you don't always have to.

443
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:23,159
Speaker 1: Use that particular language till they understand what you're talking about.

444
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,000
Speaker 2: But if you can get under the hood.

445
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:28,040
Speaker 1: And say, oh, actually, these are the things that I need,

446
00:19:28,320 --> 00:19:31,640
Speaker 1: that's empowering, right, And you take back the narrative of

447
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,120
Speaker 1: I work in a low trust or a high trust environment.

448
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 1: So I would love to say that our managers are responsible.

449
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,600
Speaker 1: HR is responsible, and as a you know, individual contributor

450
00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,960
Speaker 1: and some degree we are responsible.

451
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,560
Speaker 2: For how our careers move forward.

452
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 1: And I want to see us make trust great again

453
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 1: because we all need it. If you live in Tokyo,

454
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:54,399
Speaker 1: you want trust. If you live in North Dakota, you

455
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,760
Speaker 1: want trust, right. And so that is something that we

456
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 1: all understand. You may not understand what it's like to

457
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,080
Speaker 1: be a black woman in the workplace, but you sure

458
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:03,920
Speaker 1: know what it feels like when trust is on the floor, right,

459
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,240
Speaker 1: And that's something we can all link arms with. And

460
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,080
Speaker 1: when we can talk about a universal word like trust,

461
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:11,280
Speaker 1: then we can solve for some of the other issues

462
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,439
Speaker 1: that I think people weren't ready to solve for.

463
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 3: I mean, obviously I do a lot of work with

464
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 3: women of color, like through my career coaching practice, and

465
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,520
Speaker 3: there's many many who I can think about who come

466
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:23,960
Speaker 3: to me and they are just so burnt out, not

467
00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:30,920
Speaker 3: by like over being overworked, but by having consistent and persistent,

468
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 3: like chronic underappreciation from their workplace from you know, being

469
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 3: sort of like kicked around, like moved around, whether it's

470
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 3: like you're moving managers too frequently, there's not a lot

471
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:48,320
Speaker 3: of investment, and they aren't even sure sometimes why they're

472
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,760
Speaker 3: unhappy at work. They're just like, I am miserable.

473
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 4: I need to get out of here.

474
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,320
Speaker 3: And what I like about the concept of this book

475
00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 3: is not that I'm ever here to stop anyone from

476
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:02,919
Speaker 3: pursuing a new goal. I do a lot of like

477
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 3: I do a lot of telling girls to quit. I

478
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 3: love it. Sometimes you just have to get out of there, yes,

479
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,320
Speaker 3: but in this economy you can't always just quit and

480
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 3: go on to the next thing right away. This is

481
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,960
Speaker 3: almost like it's a toolkit to say this can make

482
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 3: it maybe more tolerable for you. It empowers us to

483
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,920
Speaker 3: take some action that can actually make things a little

484
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 3: better for us potentially. And I just hope that, like

485
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,920
Speaker 3: if you're listening to this podcast, ba fam, I hope

486
00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 3: that it doesn't feel like one more thing that we

487
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,720
Speaker 3: have to do, we have to carry because managers aren't

488
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,600
Speaker 3: trained and companies don't care about us. We got to

489
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:40,520
Speaker 3: care about ourselves. But like feel that empowerment that we

490
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,919
Speaker 3: can actually get more of what we need because we

491
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:45,920
Speaker 3: have the language that you know, a book like talk

492
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 3: to Me nice is providing us.

493
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:50,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you Amandy for saying that, because I don't

494
00:21:50,359 --> 00:21:52,199
Speaker 1: want us to feel the burden to have to do

495
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 1: one more thing, but I wanted the one more thing

496
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: to feel like we're empowered.

497
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 2: Right.

498
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 1: So, if we are in an environment where we're not

499
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,239
Speaker 1: able to leave right now, haven't had certain conversations, what

500
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 1: would it look like to give ourself permission to have it?

501
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 2: Right?

502
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 1: So now we can say, Okay, maybe Gina is invested

503
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 1: in my success. Maybe she isn't, But now that I've

504
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 1: told her here's what I need to do my best work.

505
00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:18,199
Speaker 2: Perhaps they can now provide that to us.

506
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:18,440
Speaker 4: Right.

507
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 1: And I don't think anybody shows up in the workplace

508
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 1: to say, how can I row trust with so and so?

509
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 2: Today?

510
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:27,120
Speaker 1: I don't feel like we're that delicious, you know, like pychets.

511
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 1: I mean, there might be one or two that think

512
00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,960
Speaker 1: that way, but for the most part, I think we

513
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:34,680
Speaker 1: just are moving at ninety thousand miles per hour. We're

514
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 1: not thinking and considering people. And what this boils down

515
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:41,680
Speaker 1: to is how do we restore respect, humanity and dignity

516
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 1: inside the workplace? Right? Even when we have to have

517
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 1: difficult conversations, and I just think oftentimes we just don't

518
00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 1: have the language. And so I'm hopeful that talk to

519
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,679
Speaker 1: me nice will provide language for the employee and the

520
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 1: manager to be able to talk to each other without

521
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 1: there let's avoid each other in the hallway when we

522
00:22:59,000 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 1: see each other.

523
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 2: Or on zoom right. So that is my gift to

524
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 2: the world.

525
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,200
Speaker 1: The hopefully we can talk to each other a little

526
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: bit nice when we know what words need to be said,

527
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 1: or at least start to have them.

528
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:16,359
Speaker 3: Those conversations you mentioned the first, secondary, and tertiary love languages, like,

529
00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,160
Speaker 3: how do we figure out what our ideal workplace love languages?

530
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,280
Speaker 3: I think mine is all of them that you mentioned,

531
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:23,760
Speaker 3: but especially the money one.

532
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

533
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 3: Is it important to yea? How do you help readers

534
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,919
Speaker 3: understand what their primary language is?

535
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 2: I do?

536
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 1: And it was so fun to write this book. If

537
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,880
Speaker 1: anybody's read any of my other books, I really wear

538
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:39,399
Speaker 1: my heart on my sleeve about a lot of the

539
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,680
Speaker 1: experiences I had in the workplace as a black woman,

540
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 1: and I feel like my other book's empowered, but I

541
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 1: also feel like this one was more of a very

542
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,400
Speaker 1: much kind of a choose your own adventure, if you will,

543
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:54,200
Speaker 1: because I want people to understand what their primary languages are,

544
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,680
Speaker 1: but also not just theirs.

545
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 2: But the people that they work with. Right.

546
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:02,159
Speaker 1: So I might be transparency girl, but somebody who's on

547
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 1: my team, they might need me to be a little

548
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: more sensitive to certain cultural moments in how I talk

549
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 1: about certain things, right, or they might need more feedback

550
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 1: from me. And so I also want to be able

551
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 1: to equit myself so that I'm giving trust as I'm

552
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 1: hoping to receive trust. So I don't want people to

553
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 1: read the book and think, oh, this is all about me, me, me, Yes,

554
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 1: you are important, but I also want this to be

555
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 1: a mechanism for you to have better relationships and conversations

556
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:30,879
Speaker 1: with your direct reports, your colleagues, right, and people in

557
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: your life, so that you're also enhancing trusts versus evrouting

558
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 1: trusts that you may not even be aware of. There's

559
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: a ton of activities and quizzes and sort of graphs

560
00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,399
Speaker 1: for you to find out what that is. And so

561
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,720
Speaker 1: it was just again such a fun experience for me

562
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 1: to write this book for people to drill down into

563
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,560
Speaker 1: what matters most to them in the workplace. And out

564
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,200
Speaker 1: of all the conversations I had, people were pretty much

565
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 1: saying one of the seven things or a couple of these.

566
00:24:57,119 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: And so I'm excited to find out and hear what

567
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,960
Speaker 1: people find out to be their trust language, because maybe

568
00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,120
Speaker 1: trust isn't the issue. You just need a little bit

569
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: more of something, and somebody in the workplace needs to

570
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:08,480
Speaker 1: know you need.

571
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:10,959
Speaker 3: That and also can get you quicker to clarity on

572
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 3: what your next step can be. So, just like in

573
00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 3: any relationship, you know, are you capable of giving me

574
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,879
Speaker 3: what I need? You know some people are not, And

575
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:21,240
Speaker 3: so in that case, you have to make a decision

576
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 3: like are you going to continue to stay someplace where

577
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 3: you're not going to get what you need and the

578
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,640
Speaker 3: other person is not capable or not willing to make

579
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:29,760
Speaker 3: those changes. And if that's the case, then maybe the

580
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 3: best thing for you to do is to, you know,

581
00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 3: move on or request to be on a different team

582
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:35,879
Speaker 3: or at the very least, I know, the economy is

583
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 3: so tough. Right now, take that information and just look

584
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 3: at it objectively as a piece of data that you

585
00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,160
Speaker 3: now have about what you need from your next role,

586
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 3: what you're looking for in your next manager. I could

587
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,120
Speaker 3: also see people using this to kind of suss out

588
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:54,080
Speaker 3: in an interview the language or like how receptive their

589
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 3: manager or the senior leadership team would be to providing

590
00:25:58,320 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 3: the kind of communication style that works for me.

591
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, you hit it on the head.

592
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:08,600
Speaker 1: I actually have a chapter that I talk about once

593
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 1: you find out what you need in the workplace and

594
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,480
Speaker 1: what languages are most important to you, use those in

595
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: your interview process. Right, ask those questions, because you don't

596
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 1: want to find another manager that's not going to provide

597
00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: follow through for you when you know you need that

598
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 1: most Right, you're not going to be happy. And back

599
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: to your point too, is they say that eight out

600
00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 1: of ten people will leave their job a job that

601
00:26:30,520 --> 00:26:33,000
Speaker 1: they like for the most part, but because they don't

602
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: want to have a difficult conversation about what the conflict

603
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 1: might be. And so my hope is that we give

604
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:41,879
Speaker 1: ourselves that permission to say, let me at least have

605
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 1: the conversation about what's necessary, so when I walk away,

606
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: they can never say, well, I didn't know Menda.

607
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 2: Needed that for me. She never articulated that to me.

608
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: Right, I had a situation in my former life where

609
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 1: I thought I was going to get this promotion they

610
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 1: were quote unquote grooming me and all the things, and

611
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 1: then they ended up bringing somebody from the outset in

612
00:27:00,440 --> 00:27:02,960
Speaker 1: hiring them, and I was like devastated because I had

613
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 1: this expectation that it was mine, and so I got

614
00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 1: enough courage to go have a conversation with the person

615
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,440
Speaker 1: who made the decision. I said, you know, I'm really

616
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,600
Speaker 1: surprised by the choice when I thought that I had

617
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,800
Speaker 1: been taking over my manager's workload all of those things,

618
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 1: and like, well, you never articulated that this is what

619
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 1: you wanted.

620
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 2: And I'm like, girl, i've.

621
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,840
Speaker 1: Been showing up early, I've been doing all the things.

622
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 1: And part of that was on me because I hadn't articulated.

623
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,000
Speaker 1: I just kind of assumed, right, So I mean not

624
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 1: to put them.

625
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 3: To the work, and it will be acknowledged.

626
00:27:32,119 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 1: That's what I thought, Right, But I had never had

627
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,640
Speaker 1: that conversation, and that gave me such a moment. I'll

628
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 1: never let that happen again, right, I'll always be very

629
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 1: clear and concise and have clarity about what it is

630
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 1: I want so that nobody could say, oh, I didn't

631
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,480
Speaker 1: know that's what you wanted, right, And so when to

632
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 1: your point, when we were like little inspector gadgets. We

633
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,720
Speaker 1: need to get that information. And if you find that

634
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,120
Speaker 1: your manager can't provide you with follow through, then that's

635
00:27:57,200 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 1: information that you can now think about and then say, okay,

636
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,240
Speaker 1: well let me see maybe I got six more months

637
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 1: here at.

638
00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 2: Least be out the conversation. Yeah, And that does something

639
00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 2: for us.

640
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,560
Speaker 1: So now we know, we don't again, we don't have

641
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:11,919
Speaker 1: to create a narrative of if they are invested in

642
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 1: our success or not.

643
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 2: Now we know, and hopefully we'll have a better outcome.

644
00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:19,360
Speaker 3: I love anything that offers an opportunity to zoom out,

645
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:22,199
Speaker 3: look at the bigger picture of your career and not

646
00:28:22,359 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 3: take every poor communication, every poor management experience, every poor

647
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 3: colleague experience like as the end of or like such

648
00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,159
Speaker 3: a big deal. You know, it was a it was

649
00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 3: a blip. It was unfortunate with a negative experience. But

650
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 3: in the grand scheme of things, like to not so

651
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,080
Speaker 3: that we don't have to take things to heart so

652
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,280
Speaker 3: much because I think, and it's not too at all,

653
00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 3: because I feel big feelings, you know as well. But

654
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:48,640
Speaker 3: I just encounter so many women in my work who

655
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 3: are internalizing and really taking it personal when they have

656
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,760
Speaker 3: these like points of friction or when they feel like

657
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:56,960
Speaker 3: they're not getting what they want, like that example that

658
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 3: you came, that could really send someone spiraling into a depress.

659
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 3: You know, if they didn't have, you know, the courage

660
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:06,600
Speaker 3: like you did to confront the issue, get the clarity

661
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 3: on what was happening, they could really internalize that into

662
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 3: I'm not good enough, I'm constantly overlooked. And then you

663
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 3: start feeding into that narrative as black women women of

664
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 3: color in the workplace of like we're overlooked, we're underpaid,

665
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 3: no one acknowledges us da da da da dah and

666
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 3: rewinding for a second, or like zooming out and saying

667
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 3: that doesn't have to necessarily be the story of what's

668
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 3: happening right now, does that? You know, Like, I'm so

669
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 3: empathetic of people who are going through situations like that,

670
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:36,120
Speaker 3: and just it all goes internal, do you know what

671
00:29:36,160 --> 00:29:38,000
Speaker 3: I mean, instead of like being able to put it.

672
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 4: Out there and get clarity and comfort from that.

673
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 1: Absolutely, I mean, I'll be honest. I spiraled for about

674
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 1: a month and created this narrative of.

675
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 2: They hate me, I have to leave. Yeah, you know,

676
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 2: they don't appreciate me.

677
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 1: I did all the things and how I felt was

678
00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 1: real right, but I needed to also rooted in some facts,

679
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: so let me go find out right.

680
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:56,840
Speaker 2: And I had to push myself to be able to

681
00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 2: go have that kind of easy. It's not easy.

682
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 4: I'm glad to hear that's you're human. It took you

683
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 4: a month.

684
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,080
Speaker 1: It took me a month because I was like, wait

685
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: a second, I need to know the answer. And I

686
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 1: think to your point, sometimes we'll go on the rumination

687
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: ride of our lives and create these moments or may

688
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,880
Speaker 1: not be true. And I think we also have to

689
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,560
Speaker 1: trust ourselves and talk to ourself nice. So I hope

690
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 1: that people will also you start to think about what

691
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 1: trusting themselves again looks like in their voice.

692
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 4: I want to take a quick break, Menda.

693
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 3: But when we come back, can we chat about the

694
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 3: other fun stuff that you have going on? Yes, because

695
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 3: you are a multi hyphen queen. Okay, we be right back,

696
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 3: ba fam With more from Menda Hearts. She is the

697
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:42,000
Speaker 3: author of many books, but her most recent book, which

698
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 3: is coming out this week. When y'all are listening to

699
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,600
Speaker 3: this podcast, go get it. It's called Talk to Me Nice.

700
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 3: The Seven Trust Languages for a Better Workplace. We will

701
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 3: be right back right ba, fam, I am back with

702
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 3: my favee Menda. Hearts making her stick around because I'm

703
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 3: going to talk about what else you have going on.

704
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 3: You've sort of carved out this career for your that's

705
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 3: so multifaceted. You obviously you have yours, You do a

706
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:06,720
Speaker 3: lot of speaking, you do consulting, You are an author,

707
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:09,440
Speaker 3: but you're also a filmmaker. Can you talk to me

708
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 3: about like when did that journey become and what has

709
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 3: the filmmaking side of your career your business however you

710
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 3: see it, like where that came from and how that's going.

711
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, thank you for asking.

712
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:26,040
Speaker 1: Life is really a box of chocolates because you just

713
00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: never know where it's going to take you, for like,

714
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: for real, for real. And I've always loved movies. I

715
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: used to write short stories when I was in grade

716
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,880
Speaker 1: school in junior high school, but I never thought that

717
00:31:36,160 --> 00:31:39,479
Speaker 1: I could be a filmmaker or a storyteller in that

718
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: way because I never seen anyone around me do it.

719
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: But my mom would always have Turner Classic movies on,

720
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 1: so I was like always watching these black and white

721
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:48,600
Speaker 1: movies and just.

722
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: Enthralled with them.

723
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: And so it was always something even as an adult

724
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: that I really really enjoyed and studied. And then when

725
00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 1: I started writing books, maybe about a year after the

726
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 1: memo came out, I started taking green writing classes at

727
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 1: UCLA because I knew at some point I wanted to

728
00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:07,720
Speaker 1: transition into telling different types of stories, but I wasn't

729
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 1: sure what that even looks like. But I wanted to

730
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 1: perfect the craft. And you know they say, if you

731
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 1: stay ready, you don't have to get ready, So I

732
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 1: wanted to invest in myself in that way.

733
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 2: And then the.

734
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 1: Memo, years later, was optioned into a short film starring

735
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:24,720
Speaker 1: our all Cousins in our Head Kyla Pratt, and so

736
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 1: that pushed me too to be like, you know what,

737
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:28,840
Speaker 1: it's time, Linda, It's time.

738
00:32:28,920 --> 00:32:33,080
Speaker 3: And so it slow down though, because I know that

739
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 3: Kyla Pratt start. But the word optioned is like such

740
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,000
Speaker 3: because I am such a like a civilian. I'm not

741
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 3: in the media, like the entertainment side of things, but

742
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 3: I love reading the business, like the varieties, the Hollywood reporter,

743
00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 3: the deadlines, and for a book to be optioned, that's

744
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 3: the dream. But what the hell does that mean? Like

745
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 3: how do you find out that the memo is being optioned?

746
00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 3: And then how do you get that actually made into

747
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 3: a film?

748
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 2: That's a great question.

749
00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 1: So I wrote a bookook and somebody else named Felicia Butterfield,

750
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 1: who some of you may know, shout out to Alisia.

751
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 1: She created a production company called Seed Media, and she

752
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,320
Speaker 1: reached out to me, and we've been fans of each

753
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: other's work, and she said.

754
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 2: What are you doing with the memo?

755
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 1: I would love to adapt it into a film. And

756
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:20,080
Speaker 1: so we met and.

757
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 2: Our people's met, our lawyers, and.

758
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: So we just said, yeah, we want to work together

759
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: and we want the story to be told on a

760
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 1: broader her lens.

761
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 2: And she had Kyla in mind.

762
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: And we actually met with Kyla at the Soho House

763
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: of Los Angeles, and Kyla's like, yes, I want to

764
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 1: do this, and it's just it's been a beautiful experience.

765
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:39,160
Speaker 4: In this book.

766
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 3: The memo, first of all, tell people really quickly just

767
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 3: what it's about for those who haven't read it. Also,

768
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,560
Speaker 3: while you're getting talked to me, nice, you need to

769
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 3: go get the memo. It's a classic, yes, a perennial classic,

770
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,320
Speaker 3: but really quickly like it's a lot of your personal stories.

771
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 3: So then the short film became like a piece of

772
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 3: that right.

773
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 1: Yes, So the memo was basically like part memoir about

774
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,719
Speaker 1: my experience of being the only black woman in the workplace,

775
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 1: and I talk about the highs and lows and then

776
00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,960
Speaker 1: also how we redefine what success looks like for us

777
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: inside the workplace.

778
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 2: And so that.

779
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,560
Speaker 1: Book came out in twenty nineteen, and then it got

780
00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:16,560
Speaker 1: optioned in twenty twenty four.

781
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 2: And we.

782
00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:21,920
Speaker 3: Only came out in twenty nineteen, twenty nineteen. So you

783
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,480
Speaker 3: haven't just written four books. You've written four books of

784
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,960
Speaker 3: like six years. I don't understand me, and you're like

785
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:28,720
Speaker 3: making movies.

786
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:32,960
Speaker 2: I'm like, who I? Who am?

787
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 3: I thought you were a human, but I thought it

788
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:36,240
Speaker 3: turns out your AI.

789
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:39,879
Speaker 1: Okay, even before before AI, I was turning these out.

790
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 1: But so yeah, then it went so smooth. And the

791
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 1: one thing I love about having my book the memo

792
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:47,960
Speaker 1: option is that most of the time, what people don't

793
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:49,959
Speaker 1: know is when you get your book option, you don't

794
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 1: get to be part of the process. You're kind of

795
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 1: iced out and whatever people want to make of it

796
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:56,799
Speaker 1: make of it, and you just kind of get to

797
00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: ride the wave with your head.

798
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 3: So do they pay you money to make your concept

799
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 3: or take your material like, is that how it works?

800
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:06,359
Speaker 3: And then you sign a document that says you can

801
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 3: do whatever you want with it.

802
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 1: So when you get it optioned, you don't actually make

803
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 1: any money upfront. You would and because mine went to

804
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 1: short film first, and then now we're in conversations with

805
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: some of the networks to create a limited series or

806
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 1: a movie out of it, and so that's when I

807
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 1: would see some percentage. But right now it's just kind

808
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 1: of like you're when you write a book. For those

809
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 1: who know about the book process, you may not see anything.

810
00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,759
Speaker 4: For a little while, but yes, I know that is.

811
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:39,640
Speaker 2: Very important to get the story out. And so the

812
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:40,399
Speaker 2: one thing I loved.

813
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,560
Speaker 1: I had heard stories that oftentimes the author doesn't get

814
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: to be part of the casting or in the writer's room,

815
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 1: and Alicia from day one is like, I want you

816
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: to be a part of it because I want you

817
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:51,920
Speaker 1: to feel safe that I'm telling the right story.

818
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 3: And so trust, trust language, trust, and shall demonstrate it.

819
00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 2: She demonstrated it, and.

820
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:03,759
Speaker 1: She was very sensitive to how I felt about the situation,

821
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:07,280
Speaker 1: and it was just great, And we did different screenings

822
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:10,520
Speaker 1: around the country, and we've been selected to various film

823
00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:13,200
Speaker 1: festivals to show the memo and it's just been a

824
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: really amazing ride. And it prompted me to say, you

825
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 1: know what, it's time to because I had all of

826
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 1: these scripts that I had been working on on my

827
00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:25,440
Speaker 1: own outside of the memo and other story worse I did, and.

828
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 2: So I'm like, you know what, I'm going to do it.

829
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 4: And I just a girl. I'm a writer.

830
00:36:28,920 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 1: I'm just a writer. So let's do this because there's

831
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 1: never going to be a right time. And so I

832
00:36:34,239 --> 00:36:37,000
Speaker 1: just went for it. And I've always no matter what,

833
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 1: I've always bett it on me and that's just the

834
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:39,799
Speaker 1: way I.

835
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:40,480
Speaker 2: Live my life.

836
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so fascinated by the short film industry because

837
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 3: my younger brother, Alex has been on the podcast a

838
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 3: couple of times, and he works in tech and he

839
00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 3: has for a while sales and all that kind of stuff.

840
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,520
Speaker 3: And I feel like, maybe a decade ago, one of

841
00:36:54,560 --> 00:36:56,759
Speaker 3: his friends from college who had done my brother has

842
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 3: like a past life. I tried to be a rapper.

843
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,919
Speaker 3: There's some music that that are very fun to watch now.

844
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,319
Speaker 3: He probably took down off YouTube and his friend had

845
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 3: this like cinematography business, and Alex slowly got more and

846
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,640
Speaker 3: more involved and then and this is incredible for me

847
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 3: as his big sister, because as we were kids and

848
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,600
Speaker 3: I would like I would edit his Harry Potter.

849
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 4: Fan fiction.

850
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:20,640
Speaker 3: And we would just like, you know, we were such

851
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:22,840
Speaker 3: nerds and we'd love to write. But he's in, you know,

852
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:25,960
Speaker 3: but storytelling, and I always thought it was amazing he

853
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:29,280
Speaker 3: would he finally had taken some stories and he learned

854
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:33,719
Speaker 3: by just like advising his friends cinematography business in Atlanta,

855
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 3: just being an advisor, being a funder, you know, like

856
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,839
Speaker 3: he was funneling some of his hard earned cash from

857
00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 3: his career in corporate to help fund the business. And

858
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:43,719
Speaker 3: then he's like, I'm going to take a shot at this,

859
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 3: and he wrote a script.

860
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,320
Speaker 4: And then he made a movie, Happen.

861
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 3: He made a short film Happen, and it's been premiering

862
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,759
Speaker 3: at these film festivals across the country. He's been to

863
00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:56,799
Speaker 3: so many. And what's incredible to me is how much

864
00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:00,959
Speaker 3: art is being created that a lot of us won't

865
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,560
Speaker 3: get to see because they are only seen in these

866
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 3: festival circuits. You know, So how has that been for you, like,

867
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,719
Speaker 3: to be able to promote the film and want it

868
00:38:09,760 --> 00:38:12,319
Speaker 3: to be more places. I'm just wondering, what's that been

869
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:14,879
Speaker 3: like for you, like, do you have a favorite medium now,

870
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 3: like you've written the books, now you're doing the short

871
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 3: film circuit. But that can be really fulfilling, but also

872
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 3: does it get frustrating not being able to get the

873
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:22,280
Speaker 3: art in front of more people.

874
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it is frustrating because but it's also empowering. And

875
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,200
Speaker 1: one of the things I realized even with the memo

876
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:31,279
Speaker 1: before the book came out, I started a blog and

877
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,839
Speaker 1: that was just a few people reading it every week,

878
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,279
Speaker 1: and eventually it grew and I feel like I'm back

879
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 1: in my memo bag with my new short film. The

880
00:38:38,680 --> 00:38:41,400
Speaker 1: distance between that it's up to me to start to

881
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 1: drip that out and share that information. And I self

882
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:47,919
Speaker 1: funded this project and I wrote, produced, and directed. I'd

883
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:52,000
Speaker 1: never done those things before, and yeah, so you know,

884
00:38:52,040 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 1: it was very empowering to say, wow, I actually feel

885
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,440
Speaker 1: like putting this body of work out for people to

886
00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:01,400
Speaker 1: see felt even more fulfilling than some of the previous

887
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 1: work I've done, because to start to create something and

888
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 1: take it to the finish line, have other people say

889
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 1: this is a good story, we want to work on

890
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,239
Speaker 1: it too, it just felt so fulfilling. I often say

891
00:39:11,280 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 1: that success is not a solo sport. And when I

892
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 1: wrote my book, obviously I wrote it, but I had

893
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 1: editors that helped, you know, at the publisher. But in

894
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,920
Speaker 1: this case, success really was not a solo sport.

895
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 4: Right, because yeah, that's what my brother says. He loves

896
00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 4: the team of it all.

897
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 2: Oh, it takes so many, It takes so many.

898
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 1: And when I first started the journey, I thought, Okay, well,

899
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: if I write a good story, then that'll do its

900
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,160
Speaker 1: thing right, and then I'll find the right actresses and

901
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 1: they'll do their thing. But then as I got through

902
00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 1: the process, I'm like, wait a second. From the PA

903
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:44,360
Speaker 1: to the colorists, to the editor, to the cinemata, everybody's

904
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: roles matter and the success of this film and it's

905
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:52,560
Speaker 1: the entire ecosystem. And it's taught me so much about

906
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,200
Speaker 1: trust and admitting when you.

907
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:55,960
Speaker 2: Don't know something.

908
00:39:56,239 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: And so it's just been an incredibly humbling experiperience in

909
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,759
Speaker 1: gratifying and I hope that the audience will be able

910
00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:05,400
Speaker 1: to see the distance.

911
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,040
Speaker 3: Between Yeah, where can we is it? Are you getting

912
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:08,839
Speaker 3: into festivals now?

913
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 1: So literally, as we're recording, I got my first notification

914
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 1: that we got accepted to our first festival.

915
00:40:16,360 --> 00:40:19,000
Speaker 4: Yes, I know, now that that's very exciting.

916
00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, so it's very exciting.

917
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: You're like, Okay, someone gets to see it, because there

918
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 1: could have been a chance that nobody saw it in

919
00:40:26,960 --> 00:40:30,839
Speaker 1: that medium. But I'm excited, and so that allows us

920
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,760
Speaker 1: to be able to put out a trailer for others

921
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: to see it soon. So stay tuned and hopefully you'll

922
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:40,840
Speaker 1: see more of my writing come across to your bigger screen.

923
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 3: So the memo, then you're in potential talks to have

924
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:46,840
Speaker 3: that turned into like an actual series.

925
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:52,239
Speaker 1: Yes, we are having conversations currently with some networks to

926
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 1: talk about what that could look like. And so you

927
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 1: know that's also an exciting, you know, learning experience as well.

928
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,600
Speaker 2: You just want to just tell everybody you just never know.

929
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 1: You have to plant the seed and you never know

930
00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:06,160
Speaker 1: how it's going to to harvest.

931
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:10,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's absolutely true. I'm so proud of you too.

932
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:11,879
Speaker 3: I mean, you didn't you you are in La? Did

933
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 3: you grow up in La?

934
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:17,040
Speaker 1: I'm from California, but I grew up in Chicago and

935
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,640
Speaker 1: then I came okay, came back to LA as a

936
00:41:19,880 --> 00:41:21,359
Speaker 1: much more seasoned adult.

937
00:41:23,280 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 4: The best kind of adult.

938
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,280
Speaker 2: A little more money in my pocket, right, Yeah.

939
00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 4: Yes, living your best life.

940
00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 2: You got your fur baby, yes, my fur baby Romans.

941
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 3: Also, I'm so sorry, I know you're you just you

942
00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,439
Speaker 3: posted about one of your puppies passing away, right, yes,

943
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 3: yes so but.

944
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,799
Speaker 1: Yeah you know those are my babies and uh so

945
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:44,319
Speaker 1: it's mommy has to keep working so she can give

946
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,480
Speaker 1: the fur babies their their best life.

947
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 3: I wish I was a pet, so it's such a

948
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:52,640
Speaker 3: nice life. A pet of a mommy with only for

949
00:41:52,800 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 3: children would be the best. Yes, I did want to ask, like,

950
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:58,720
Speaker 3: just acknowledge that you didn't grow up in the film industry,

951
00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 3: but that, just like my brother we had, we were

952
00:42:00,800 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 3: so far from that.

953
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 4: Atlanta was not even on Hollywood's radar. I don't think

954
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 4: when we are coming up. So how do you write?

955
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 4: How do you advise.

956
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:11,240
Speaker 3: People or give any advice to someone who's potentially thinking

957
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 3: about breaking in to that space and learning more about it?

958
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I think empowering yourself. There's a lot more

959
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 1: tools I think available to us now.

960
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:23,279
Speaker 2: Podcasts.

961
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 1: I listened to two podcasts called The Town and Script Notes,

962
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 1: and that talks a lot about the film industry. I

963
00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:31,560
Speaker 1: read a ton of books about it. I go to

964
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 1: different seminars and then when you have the opportunity, just

965
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,319
Speaker 1: make it right. Because I don't know Martin Scorsese, but

966
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:40,319
Speaker 1: I was able to make a film right, and you

967
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: may not know Tyler.

968
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 2: A black woman, you can make a film.

969
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,799
Speaker 1: So you just find your tribe, just like anything, and

970
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,399
Speaker 1: if you build it, they will come.

971
00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:51,600
Speaker 4: I love it all right.

972
00:42:51,600 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 3: So they've got a script kicking around right now, ba fam,

973
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 3: do something with it, and maybe you just need to

974
00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,320
Speaker 3: find a friend who knows a little bit about something.

975
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:01,400
Speaker 3: They're doing movies on iPhone cameras now, like, come on, y'all,

976
00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:05,200
Speaker 3: it's totally doable. Well, you're such an inspiration to me,

977
00:43:05,520 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 3: and I wish you so much success with the book.

978
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,640
Speaker 3: I hope it is one of the fourth not the final,

979
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:14,600
Speaker 3: because I don't think you're ever going to let yourself

980
00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 3: fully stop because you're just a creator. But thanks for

981
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,439
Speaker 3: making Brown Ambision a part of your little press tour

982
00:43:21,520 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 3: for this book. And I hope you'll come back again

983
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:24,560
Speaker 3: and join us, and I hope I can see you

984
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 3: again in person sometime soon.

985
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 2: Need too, and thank you for always seeing me. It

986
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:28,560
Speaker 2: means so much.

987
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 4: Oh, likewise, thank you Menda.

988
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 3: All right, pa fam, please go pick up her book

989
00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:36,719
Speaker 3: Talk to Me Nice, The Seven trust Languages of the

990
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:40,120
Speaker 3: for a Better Workplace by Menda Hearts. Also, go check

991
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 3: out the Right Win, Go check out the memo. We're

992
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:44,040
Speaker 3: going to put a link to your website if y'all

993
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,160
Speaker 3: want to follow along, see where her short films are

994
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 3: going to be premiered, and just follow more of your journey.

995
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:49,960
Speaker 3: Right BYEBA fan.

996
00:43:50,040 --> 00:43:50,439
Speaker 4: Take care,