1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:05,560 Speaker 1: Two hopeless theaters, one dating app, then dares you swipe right. 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,040 Speaker 2: The question is whose love life is more tragic. 3 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,239 Speaker 3: It's Battle of the Tinder Dates. It's a dating game 4 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 3: show that dresses like thingos on his profile claims he's 5 00:00:19,079 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 3: twenty six, but really he's three thousand years old. Okay, 6 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,639 Speaker 3: you couldn't tell, though. It's Battle of the Tinder Dates. Yeah, 7 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 3: where two of our listeners go ahead to head to 8 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 3: find out whose dating life is the most tragic. Let's 9 00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,839 Speaker 3: explain the rules in justice. Second. First, we got to 10 00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 3: meet today's contestants. In this corner, her secret to seducing 11 00:00:37,159 --> 00:00:40,960 Speaker 3: men is seductively flaring her nostrils along to the beat 12 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 3: of thriller. Oh, and that's why she's known as nasal Hazel. Yeah. 13 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 2: You're working those nostrils out, aren't you, Hazel. Yeah? 14 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:55,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard to do. That's talent. And in the 15 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 3: other corner, she'll let a guy know that she's really 16 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 3: into him by men rising his birthday and all sixteen 17 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:10,759 Speaker 3: digits of his credit card. Lisa, Lisa, I bet so. 18 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 1: Many mentall in love with you every day every day? 19 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 2: Maybe illegal? 20 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, he has no credit limit though he is. How 21 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,040 Speaker 3: the game works. One contestant's going to start by telling 22 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,840 Speaker 3: one of their worst dating stories than the other one 23 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,760 Speaker 3: try and counter with a nightmare story of their own. 24 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 3: We're going back and forth for three rounds until we 25 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 3: declare a winner. We're going to start things off with 26 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 3: nasal Hazel. 27 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,280 Speaker 2: Okay, So a guy came over to my place and 28 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:37,640 Speaker 2: I made it such your couterie board. 29 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:38,920 Speaker 3: Wow. 30 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:42,400 Speaker 2: Now he's never had before, like ever in his life. Oh, 31 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 2: because he started seeing he couldn't stop talking about how 32 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 2: much he loved it. Like this went on and on. 33 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 3: And that's a compliment. That's a good thing, right. He 34 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,040 Speaker 3: had a thousand charcouterie boards and I still can't stop 35 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 3: talking about how much I love them while I'm eating them. 36 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 3: And Lisa appreciates all your work. 37 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, well this one was apparently more amazing than me, 38 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 2: because like I went to the restroom after that, okay, 39 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,000 Speaker 2: and all of a sudden, I hear the door slam 40 00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:11,280 Speaker 2: and I look out the window. He's leaving with my 41 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 2: charcuterie board. 42 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,959 Speaker 3: He stole it board. 43 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 2: He just took everything, the board, the cheeses, everything. Oh. 44 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:26,959 Speaker 3: I mean, but you find that perfect blue oh man, Yeah, 45 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,200 Speaker 3: with a little fig spread we're gonna go off on 46 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:32,120 Speaker 3: cheesus for too long. Let's move on to Lisa. Lisa go. 47 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,040 Speaker 1: A guy asked if I wanted to watch the Barbie 48 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 1: movie with him, you know, Green Flag Off. 49 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:38,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's great. 50 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 1: I thought so too. He sent me his address to 51 00:02:41,680 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 1: meet him, and I go inside and he has a 52 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,440 Speaker 1: puppet stand set up with Barbie's. 53 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,560 Speaker 3: He's gonna act it out. They're already doing the live 54 00:02:52,600 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 3: action version out. 55 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,400 Speaker 1: The whole movie. 56 00:02:58,440 --> 00:02:59,440 Speaker 3: That's actually amazing. 57 00:02:59,440 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 2: I've made it go. 58 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 3: There is some talents education for me. 59 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:08,960 Speaker 1: It was wild. I ran I ran out. Yeah, well, 60 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,959 Speaker 1: don't spoil the ending for yeah. 61 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 3: All right on around to Hazel, We're back to you. 62 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 2: I went to with a guy. We talked about work 63 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:21,760 Speaker 2: on the day, especially my job. He seems super interested 64 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 2: in it, to the point that I thought, okay, he 65 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 2: has to be bored now right. Yeah. Well, a week 66 00:03:26,919 --> 00:03:29,880 Speaker 2: after our date, I get fired and get who they 67 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 2: hired your lacy? 68 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,680 Speaker 1: No, No, he was doing research about the job position 69 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 1: by Danny's hired him. 70 00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:39,600 Speaker 2: It turns out we were in a summer field and 71 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,960 Speaker 2: after our hangout, he just contacted my boss and said 72 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,720 Speaker 2: I bad mouthed him and took my job. 73 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: Oh it's so diabolical. 74 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 3: It's brilliant. That is a smart man. He deserves that job. Okay, Lisa, 75 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 3: what do you got? 76 00:03:56,840 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: Guy invited me to dinner at a friend's house. We 77 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,840 Speaker 1: go there, there's a group of people, there's a few kids. 78 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: Don't tell me this guy showed up with a charcuterie board, 79 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:12,760 Speaker 1: charcterie guide. But okay, but about mid dinner, one of 80 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:17,359 Speaker 1: the kids comes running up and goes, daddy, Oh. 81 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 3: You didn't realize he was a father before the day. 82 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:27,279 Speaker 1: No, no mention of any children. Oh god, and so sorry. 83 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: We're at my ex wife's house and these are my kids. Okay, 84 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: I mean good that they have a working relationship. 85 00:04:40,279 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 2: Okay. 86 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:45,600 Speaker 3: On our third final round stories, ladies start with you, Hazel. 87 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 2: Okay. I guy some Tinder picked me up for the date. 88 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,320 Speaker 2: He asked if we could stop by a birthday party 89 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:55,039 Speaker 2: first before we like, hey, you mind dropping by for 90 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 2: five minutes to see my friends just to say yeah? 91 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,640 Speaker 2: I said, okay. And we get to this ten year 92 00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 2: old nephew's house. Right, it's his ten year old nephew. Okay, 93 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:08,039 Speaker 2: And as the family is singing, blowing out candles, my 94 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 2: gate sneaks out to the present table and I catch 95 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:17,839 Speaker 2: him opening cards and like taking money out. He sees 96 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:21,000 Speaker 2: me watching him, and he holds up the cash and whispers, 97 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 2: we got dreat money. The ten year old can't spend 98 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 2: it at the bar. 99 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 3: But so you dated a cheese thief, then a job thief, 100 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 3: and then finally a money thief. Yes, all the thiefs, Lisa, 101 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 3: it's your last chance, all right. 102 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: I actually went out with a guy as a plus 103 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,920 Speaker 1: one to a wedding. Oh wow, yeah, it was fancy. 104 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: Loved it well. Later at the reception, he asked if 105 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,039 Speaker 1: I could record him while he goes up to the bride. 106 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:57,279 Speaker 1: I'm thinking maybe he's going to do something sweet, beautiful, 107 00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 1: and I look the camera and no. He grabs a 108 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: piece of cake and smashes it in her face. 109 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:07,440 Speaker 3: Look into her mouth. 110 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 1: On top of that, he yelled, I'm not a wedding 111 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: crash er. I'm a wedding musha. 112 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,240 Speaker 2: Funny, it is. 113 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 3: Kind of funny. 114 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 1: No. No, he was beaten up by a couple of 115 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: guys and they escorted me out and asked me not 116 00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: to return. 117 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 2: Oh and then some. 118 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,760 Speaker 3: Face bashing right after the final bells. That means we 119 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,920 Speaker 3: need to go to the scoreboard, flexus, who's your voat 120 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 3: go to so hard? 121 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 2: I'm gonna go Hazel because her charcootery board got taken. 122 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 3: We got one for Hazel Brooke. 123 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 1: Wedding smash Lisa, hands. 124 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 3: Down, Jose, you're the final choice. I gotta go with 125 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 3: Hazel for felations, nasl Hazel, you got one of the 126 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,880 Speaker 3: most tragic dating lives around. 127 00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:03,760 Speaker 2: Awesome. Finally, some retributed four today. 128 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,120 Speaker 3: Yeah, that was Battle of the Tender Days. We got 129 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,719 Speaker 3: your phone tap coming up next.