Speaker 1: Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: terminol and gay. We want to send you off in style.
Speaker 2: You wanna welcome you back home?
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Melbourne?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride.
Speaker 3: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: This is Chris Fairbanks. I'm at a lax in the
Speaker 3: ninth circle of Hell or terminal three, I meant, and
Speaker 3: we are picking up my friend Karen Kilgariff, who is
Speaker 3: usually she chimes in right now, it starts talking. But
Speaker 3: of course, for now she is a guest, an upcoming guest.
Speaker 3: But once she sits down, she that role will actually
Speaker 3: transfer to co host and she will be pulling double duty,
Speaker 3: as you know, a guest and a co host, which
Speaker 3: she's able to do. She's able to multitask. I can
Speaker 3: only host, and I can only do so much, So
Speaker 3: get off my back.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry I yelled at you. Okay, we are.
Speaker 3: See if I can see her.
Speaker 4: Steven, are you with me?
Speaker 1: Hi?
Speaker 5: Here with you?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I forgot. Sometimes I forget and then I hear
Speaker 3: your your faint baby like breathing.
Speaker 4: You breathe, you breathe like an angel.
Speaker 5: I'm very soft. I've been sleeping in the back this
Speaker 5: whole time. Not really, but yeah, we're keeping an eye
Speaker 5: out for Karen.
Speaker 3: Karen is.
Speaker 5: We've already witnessed a car accident on the way here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that was horrifying. Classic T bone with a classic Corvette.
Speaker 3: Everything about it.
Speaker 5: It seemed okay, they.
Speaker 3: Seemed okay, they seemed in shock. Yeah, they were just
Speaker 3: sort of The guy was just sitting there taking it in.
Speaker 5: Oh, we just passed Karen.
Speaker 3: Oh really yes, Well let's just put it here. The
Speaker 3: amount of stress that the airport brings me is notable
Speaker 3: and noteworthy, and that means the same thing.
Speaker 4: Do you think that Karen saw us?
Speaker 5: I just fixed it here.
Speaker 4: Boy, Oh there she is. Oh wait, totally that was
Speaker 4: a bizarro.
Speaker 5: I saw definitely saw Karen's doppelganger. That's hilarious.
Speaker 4: Hi friend, Hi, Oh here's your mic.
Speaker 1: You are we recording? Now?
Speaker 3: We are? We are?
Speaker 4: It's I can't believe we used to do this all
Speaker 4: the time.
Speaker 1: I know, it sucks.
Speaker 3: Shit, it really is worse than I remember. Okay, there's
Speaker 3: so much to think about.
Speaker 1: There's so many fucking people, and.
Speaker 3: Now there's a way, and so sorry we're late.
Speaker 1: That's okay. There's so many people and there's now construction.
Speaker 4: I mean Jesus, and the way here. On the way here.
Speaker 3: Because of Riesa and La Rains, there were cartoonish potholes
Speaker 3: that were literally as deep as they were white, like
Speaker 3: one foot square foot potholes where your tire would just
Speaker 3: get engulfed, like you can't hit it, or your tire
Speaker 3: will know I was dodging it, like lava or some
Speaker 3: kind of a video game like Leaping on the avoiding
Speaker 3: alligator heads.
Speaker 1: Hold on a second, I think avoiding po potholes. I
Speaker 1: was gonna say potheads. Avoiding potholes wouldn't be a good
Speaker 1: video game. It's like a driving game. But then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, there's just like a huge, horrible pothole.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just realistic. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Sometimes there's shallow, yeah, and sometimes they're like deep pits
Speaker 1: that like it sounds like your tire pops.
Speaker 3: And you have to obey traffic allows you can get
Speaker 3: tickets while you're driving. This is a great video game idea.
Speaker 1: Isn't it fun? And what if you also on the
Speaker 1: side isn't fun? Also, your bills are listed on the side,
Speaker 1: so you can worry about those.
Speaker 4: Oh yes, yeah, and just.
Speaker 1: Still three hundred dollars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you can just check and see when you
Speaker 3: have to your taxes are due.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, what's upcoming?
Speaker 3: Oh, your mother's calling?
Speaker 1: Oh oh oh, I'm going to drive into this pothole. Okay,
Speaker 1: I do have a couple pieces of news from the
Speaker 1: road dinar.
Speaker 4: Yes, of course. How was your trip?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: It was great and really fun. But the fun part
Speaker 1: is so everybody. That's why this episode is late, because
Speaker 1: because I, uh.
Speaker 3: Am just coming home today and you had been gone
Speaker 3: for sometimes for six days.
Speaker 1: I think my dog is going to be very mad.
Speaker 1: And I was gone right up till that point. Guys,
Speaker 1: we're road comics, we're road comeds. We are doing the circuit,
Speaker 1: and there's nothing we can do about I reliant on it.
Speaker 1: Although right before I came out, I saw on Twitter
Speaker 1: the hang in there kitty that you put Did you
Speaker 1: photoshop that? No?
Speaker 4: I just found a little image.
Speaker 1: Oh it was good. It looked real good. Okay, So
Speaker 1: this is from so I've been on the road with
Speaker 1: my favorite murder. But of course we meet people and
Speaker 1: then people always say, I love do you need a ride?
Speaker 1: So in the meet and greet from Okay, We've done
Speaker 1: four So I think this was Please forgive me Carrie
Speaker 1: and Amanda. I'm pretty positive.
Speaker 3: This was in Pittsburgh, Oh, Okay.
Speaker 1: Which was the best we had, like a weekend of
Speaker 1: the most fun shows and the most like it was Pittsburgh, Cincinnati, Indianapolish.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I like that area of the country.
Speaker 1: It's people are so smart, they're so like ready to
Speaker 1: have a good time. It was Saint Patrick last night,
Speaker 1: Saint Patrick's Day, Indianapolis, and we were totally prepared for
Speaker 1: it to be a shit show, right, and it was
Speaker 1: one of the best shows we've ever had. Yeh was amazing.
Speaker 3: I think that I get the false because I based
Speaker 3: so many cities on the comedy club. Yeah, and I
Speaker 3: don't think the crackers in Indianapolis. And for the longest
Speaker 3: time I thought the neon picture behind me was Hitler.
Speaker 3: I know that, uh that Charlie Chaplin and Hitler of
Speaker 3: course had the same mustange should say, very hitlery looking.
Speaker 3: Charlie Chaplin, that is behind you a cracker?
Speaker 1: Did they give Charlie Choplin like long things, because that's
Speaker 1: not the same.
Speaker 4: It's just what.
Speaker 3: He's doing with his arm, just straight up killing the king. No,
Speaker 3: I'm kidding, it's just they ca they just leaned a
Speaker 3: little ad off feet and yeah, you don't like that,
Speaker 3: I mean no, one doesn't right now announced now as
Speaker 3: a podcast, we really don't like Hitler.
Speaker 1: We fucking hate Hitler. He's the worst. He's the worst.
Speaker 1: His followers suck.
Speaker 4: He's the king of dicks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because some of his followers are still around.
Speaker 1: He's the king of dicks. There they some of his Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's let's not go into Nazism.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah it will. That's halfway podcast.
Speaker 1: Here's the good news, here's the exact opposite of Hitler.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: In the meet and greet Pittsburgh, I met a woman
Speaker 1: named Carrie who grabbed my arm and said, please don't
Speaker 1: stop doing do you need a ride? And then I
Speaker 1: grabbed her arm set back and said, we won't, but
Speaker 1: it's going to be late this week. Yeah, yeah, so
Speaker 1: please Carrie forgive us. But she knew first she always
Speaker 1: at least she knew. Yeah, other people didn't know. The
Speaker 1: other people may have panicked. Carrie was sitting back in
Speaker 1: what I assume is Pittsburgh column as a cucumber. Then,
Speaker 1: a little while later or the next night, I cannot remember,
Speaker 1: I met a woman named Amanda who came up and
Speaker 1: she had presents for us for Georgia and I separate,
Speaker 1: and then she goes, oh, and then I pulled this out,
Speaker 1: twenty five dollars gift certificate to Starbucks. She wanted to
Speaker 1: the next couple drive through for a Starbucks for dinar
Speaker 1: to be on her.
Speaker 4: Oh that's so great.
Speaker 1: So that was from Amanda. Isn't that the nicest gift?
Speaker 1: I was like, ooh, yeah it is. And we could
Speaker 1: utilize that today. Yeah, not during after the podcast. Yes,
Speaker 1: ye's util of the fucking lies about it. I'm out
Speaker 1: of my mind, by the way. Sorry, No, I'm so
Speaker 1: fucking tired. I think I slept for two hours last night.
Speaker 4: It's okay. It makes for good.
Speaker 3: I think it makes for because your brain is its
Speaker 3: back is against the wall.
Speaker 4: Your back's brain is against the wall, that's right, And.
Speaker 3: It makes you blurt, it makes you admit things you
Speaker 3: didn't even want to talk about.
Speaker 4: And I can't wait to get into it.
Speaker 3: It's podcasting gold What are the darkest things you did
Speaker 3: on your trip?
Speaker 1: So much dark shit? Oh my god? Oh it went
Speaker 1: it went so dark. No, it was actually beyond delightful.
Speaker 1: I'd never been to Pittsburgh and it is a lovely town.
Speaker 1: Have you been there? Done comedy there?
Speaker 3: Yeah? I was suddenly mugged there. But I'm not going
Speaker 3: to blame the whole city. Okay. I enjoyed the people
Speaker 3: at the shows.
Speaker 1: It's just did someone just lightly reach into your pocket
Speaker 1: and take your money?
Speaker 3: He had a shadowy thing that could be a gun,
Speaker 3: but even if it was, I didn't want to.
Speaker 4: I just gave him some money.
Speaker 1: Oh good.
Speaker 3: And then well, you know I always go blue, but
Speaker 3: it really did that happen? And then after that I
Speaker 3: shouted my pants and as a joke, Greg Barent, who
Speaker 3: I was opening for at the time, had they just
Speaker 3: had at the Kiosk where they had sundrys at the hotel.
Speaker 3: They had something called oops and it was a little
Speaker 3: puck but oops and it was emergency underwear. No, And
Speaker 3: we laughed at that, and he bought one and threw
Speaker 3: it in my bag and then I indeed, I indeed
Speaker 3: needed the oops later on, I didn't see it till
Speaker 3: I got home.
Speaker 1: Oh that's crazy.
Speaker 3: So yeah, I'm I got plenty of sleep, and I
Speaker 3: just admitted that I shirded my pants.
Speaker 1: I listen everyone in there. I think everyone's done it.
Speaker 4: I think so.
Speaker 3: But just walking around after mugging, like usually you have
Speaker 3: to be driving or in some.
Speaker 4: Well, I guess I was.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: It was an adrenaline scared out. I bet it isn't
Speaker 1: too weird that I'm wearing sunglasses. I can't Did you
Speaker 1: injure your eye?
Speaker 4: Or were you winking at me?
Speaker 1: I just lifted my sunglasses and gave a wink.
Speaker 4: Can you remove your sunglasses? Just to make sure you're
Speaker 4: still Peter Falk?
Speaker 1: Okay, check, No, it's so bright out here, it's like
Speaker 1: it's killing my eyeball.
Speaker 4: Well, let's make you feel better. If we're both dual
Speaker 4: dual Roy Orbison.
Speaker 1: We're dual douchebags here in Los Angeles. What have you
Speaker 1: been doing? I have been moving. I found a place
Speaker 1: that after applying. I applied for one place that I
Speaker 1: thought was great, but it turns out it was just a.
Speaker 3: Man who figured out the code to the key box
Speaker 3: and pretended to be a realtor. No, I think he
Speaker 3: sent me an application. I filled it out, and then
Speaker 3: he tried to open credit cards in my name. No,
Speaker 3: so I alerted the credit bureaus and the UH rental
Speaker 3: place stumbled upon that same apartment legitimately for rant On Zillow.
Speaker 4: That's what tipped me off.
Speaker 3: And then he had even stolen their logo, like they
Speaker 3: were called Stern Realty. He called his son Realty or whatever,
Speaker 3: and he had the balls to use their logo. But
Speaker 3: he showed me the apartment, but all he had was
Speaker 3: my social Security number in my address.
Speaker 4: But you can open credit.
Speaker 3: Cards with just those two bits of infos. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: there crucial anyway. So I've been I went through the
Speaker 3: ring or looking for a place, but I finally found
Speaker 3: a place in Can we pause it for one sec?
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes, you you had an interaction with a con man. Yes,
Speaker 1: like it wasn't you. It wasn't some you know, like
Speaker 1: blank person on the internet. Guy showed you the.
Speaker 3: Apartment, he didn't show he Maybe I am a little
Speaker 3: to blame, but this the one I legitimately got worked
Speaker 3: the same way. It's just go look at it and
Speaker 3: there's no I will email you the application.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, so he didn't. He wasn't there walking walking
Speaker 1: me through. That's great.
Speaker 3: He somehow learned the key to show it was in
Speaker 3: a lock box and he knew that, so he went
Speaker 3: and saw it himself and memorized the code. I'm sure
Speaker 3: it happens all the time. Uh wow. And I talked
Speaker 3: to him on the phone a lot, though, and there
Speaker 3: were some him having the address wrong was the first indicator.
Speaker 3: It was like, I went to five five eight and
Speaker 3: it was not the house. He's like, yes it is.
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, No. I talked to the owner and
Speaker 3: they said five five nine. I'm like, well that's a
Speaker 3: different address.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But you know, you got to kind of kick kiss
Speaker 3: these people's asses. It's like a job interview. And I'm like, oh, honest, mistake.
Speaker 1: That's true. They do have it over you, especially in
Speaker 1: LA these days, yeah, where it's hard to find an apartment,
Speaker 1: like they have all the power.
Speaker 3: And this the place that I got. I squatted in
Speaker 3: the rain. I'm like, I'm not leaving, here's the money,
Speaker 3: here's the application. I want this place. And I think
Speaker 3: another guy was approved for it, but I came and
Speaker 3: took it away. So I'm a jerk too. We're all
Speaker 3: terrible people.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, it's it's a doggie dog out there
Speaker 1: in the apartment.
Speaker 3: It is a Michael Vick dog fight out there. And
Speaker 3: I and but I love this place.
Speaker 1: Should you go over there?
Speaker 4: Should I not go on the freeway?
Speaker 3: It's so stopped, It is so very much do this way, okay,
Speaker 3: even though it's dangerous and scary. Oh my gosh, everyone's
Speaker 3: going so fast. I'm that person that is in the
Speaker 3: Oh look.
Speaker 4: At me go.
Speaker 3: This is horrifying. No one cares about me. They are
Speaker 3: all going so fast. I'm sorry that I've put us
Speaker 3: in this state.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I think I feel I did too.
Speaker 3: That was just you guys median triangles where you're oh,
Speaker 3: I'm surprised we didn't have to lamb into a couple
Speaker 3: of barrels of water, you know how sometimes you have
Speaker 3: those orange barrow But I was, man, that was an adrenaline.
Speaker 1: Are you all right? Well?
Speaker 3: You know that I we're in more danger of dying
Speaker 3: with me behind the wheel. That's been a step.
Speaker 1: Long established Stephens. These are for you. These are all
Speaker 1: the live shows Sorry, it's not a present. Sorry. The
Speaker 1: black one is the one from last night. Vin says,
Speaker 1: you should have all the other ones. Okay, awesome, thank you,
Speaker 1: love recording.
Speaker 3: I got a gift cards. Yeah, so I started. It's
Speaker 3: this apartment is very roomy. It's got a giant It's
Speaker 3: plenty of room for me.
Speaker 1: Sorry, did.
Speaker 4: I echo park? So I can.
Speaker 1: You're coming from the east side.
Speaker 4: I'm in I'm in it, baby, Chris, I'm in it.
Speaker 3: I'm I'm It's intimidatingly hip and happening where I'm at.
Speaker 1: Awesome.
Speaker 4: I walk around.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I feel like everyone's dad. I feel like
Speaker 3: everyone's in their twenties. And I'm like, oh, I'm not.
Speaker 3: I should have done this ten years ago, right, it's
Speaker 3: not too late. I'm just by all these hip eateies.
Speaker 1: Yes, you love eateries.
Speaker 3: I love eateries.
Speaker 4: I love being hip, and yeah, it's just the best.
Speaker 3: But I did have The moving process was going up
Speaker 3: forty stairs like a walkway of cement stairs staggered groups
Speaker 3: of six to ten stairs.
Speaker 4: But so my refrigerator, things.
Speaker 3: Like that were who moved those? I hired a moving boy.
Speaker 3: There's a moving boy that lives he's a young young
Speaker 3: boy with a strong back, and he owns a sprinter van.
Speaker 3: He's actually thirty one, okay, but he has the energy
Speaker 3: of a boy. Because man, did we we move and
Speaker 3: then we moved every thing up these stairs and it
Speaker 3: was a lot of work. I was sore the next day,
Speaker 3: like I'd been beat up. Oh by a group of men. Oh,
Speaker 3: look at that Mercedes just over the media. Yeah, he drew,
Speaker 3: he decided to do that.
Speaker 1: He did.
Speaker 4: Actually, I'm okay with it now that I'm looking at it.
Speaker 1: It's kind of cool. Yeah, So that was a bad
Speaker 1: as Mercedes.
Speaker 3: So the first day I take out my garbage, I
Speaker 3: realized there's an alley behind my apartment that I could
Speaker 3: have parked and moved level ground, moved everything twenty feet.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, that's heartbreaking.
Speaker 4: Yeah it was.
Speaker 3: I just laughed.
Speaker 1: Okay, good.
Speaker 3: I had to call and tell the mover. You know,
Speaker 3: there's an alley. That's horrible. I didn't know that there
Speaker 3: was an alley, a wide paved Gary level level street
Speaker 3: on top.
Speaker 4: Of the hill. So I live on a hill. I'm
Speaker 4: that's fine.
Speaker 3: Around my trees. I'm nowhere near a street except for
Speaker 3: that alley.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 3: And it's quiet, like I'm in a cabin somewhere, yet
Speaker 3: I'm in the middle of Angela.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: Is it an apartment? Is it like a freestanding building?
Speaker 3: It is an apartment, but it's connected to one other unit. Okay,
Speaker 3: so it's got a little corey or three other it's
Speaker 3: like a horseshoe shaped three units. And I have my
Speaker 3: own garage. I have my own garage.
Speaker 1: Oh so okay, because you said that about having Stephen
Speaker 1: like switching cars, and I thought you.
Speaker 3: Meant in my new place has a garage. That's how
Speaker 3: impossible it is to find a garage. You can be
Speaker 3: looking based.
Speaker 1: On I need a garage, never find an I need
Speaker 1: a garage.
Speaker 4: Yes I did? And did I find one?
Speaker 3: Yes I did.
Speaker 1: That's your new podcast. Do I need a garage?
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do it in there alone.
Speaker 1: And just yell yes over and over.
Speaker 3: I'm so excited. And I've just been running around in
Speaker 3: my underwear. There's no roommates. I don't live with another
Speaker 3: grown man.
Speaker 4: It's just the.
Speaker 3: Best, but I do miss I've gotten lonely a couple
Speaker 3: of times.
Speaker 1: It's you know, it's a solitary life sometimes, but it's
Speaker 1: good to get used to having fun living alone.
Speaker 3: And doing things like playing Solitaire on my computer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, which I got to get into, right you could.
Speaker 1: Also you have to and also you have to listen
Speaker 1: to the song Solitaire by Laura Brannigan. I don't know
Speaker 1: why the the hiccups all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm will hold it against you. It's a bodily function.
Speaker 3: You actually made the hick noise kind of like Andy
Speaker 3: cap Oh, I'm.
Speaker 1: Really drunk.
Speaker 3: Those even if you quit drinking those those some of
Speaker 3: those airlines personnel. Why do I always forget I don't
Speaker 3: want to say stewardess because because the language attendant attendant,
Speaker 3: the language keeps changing and we have to evolve with it.
Speaker 3: Otherwise you're gonna make some skywaititress pissed.
Speaker 1: Whoops. Oh oh, here come the letters piling up around us.
Speaker 1: Inside the car, they were.
Speaker 3: All saying, this is what I want for Christmas, Danta.
Speaker 1: Oh this is the wrong car. This isn't Santa's car. Sorry,
Speaker 1: so I beg you. There's people who listen to this
Speaker 1: podcast who are like, it's I don't care when you
Speaker 1: chew them. I don't care. When you swallow your weird
Speaker 1: book right, because you treat me I'm not professional.
Speaker 3: I almost drive into a freeway median again to scare
Speaker 3: them out of you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, trying to scare me. Just try to scare me verbally?
Speaker 1: What can you think of.
Speaker 3: Ten years at best left to live?
Speaker 1: Karen? You know that funny that make me laugh? I
Speaker 1: was pretty much figuring that anyway that was based Please,
Speaker 1: that was based in reality. You're not seeing the future, No, no,
Speaker 1: not yet. Someone should tell me I have to wear
Speaker 1: white jeans outside today?
Speaker 4: That was Labor Day.
Speaker 3: When's Labor Day?
Speaker 1: Is it Labor Day? White jeans before Labor Day? And
Speaker 1: then afterwards and just all the time.
Speaker 3: I did see and I think it was in retaliation
Speaker 3: of Saint Patrick's Day. Yesterday I saw a group wearing
Speaker 3: all white. They were all just dressed like Andrew WK
Speaker 3: oh cool. And I think that it was them saying, hey,
Speaker 3: we don't like green, we like white.
Speaker 1: Or it could have been a bunch of bakers just
Speaker 1: hanging out after work.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, and I you bet I pinched them all.
Speaker 4: It's so fun.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine if you actually pinched people in twenty nineteen,
Speaker 3: if anyone had pinched you yesterday.
Speaker 1: You would have sued them.
Speaker 4: Call HR yep.
Speaker 3: So this is over not the human researchers, but the
Speaker 3: lead singer at Bad Brains.
Speaker 4: Call HR.
Speaker 1: Right. If someone's like this, like giving you the pincher fingers,
Speaker 1: you just scream times up, motherfucker. It's a bit because look,
Speaker 1: pinching needs to be out out of the culture entirely.
Speaker 1: Little kids don't like it. No one your hot secretary
Speaker 1: does not, does not like it, never has and.
Speaker 3: I don't even the only person that likes it is
Speaker 3: that grandma who wants a piece of your fucking cheek meat.
Speaker 1: Yeah she's not the receiver though.
Speaker 4: No, she's the giver.
Speaker 1: She's the giver of pain.
Speaker 3: Does it feel good to pinch people? I guess no.
Speaker 1: No. If I think backed, I don't know that I've
Speaker 1: ever pinched. It doesn't feel good to pinch people. But
Speaker 1: I will say this because you can't feel it. It feels
Speaker 1: like no matter what you do, you're not you can't
Speaker 1: pinch enough.
Speaker 3: Someone pinches you on the weenus. You know, your extra
Speaker 3: skin on your elbow called the weenus.
Speaker 4: Did you know that that's when its call?
Speaker 1: I did not weenus?
Speaker 3: It seems like a little kid peepe name, but it's
Speaker 3: your loose elbow skin. Oh you can pick Yeah, I
Speaker 3: can bite that shit.
Speaker 4: You won't feel it.
Speaker 3: You know what's funny if you I'm saying Patrick's say,
Speaker 3: you're not wearing greenal bite your weenus this off. I
Speaker 3: kind of enjoy it.
Speaker 4: And emmy of me.
Speaker 1: I had a boyfriend once who who used to who
Speaker 1: once told me, he goes, you know, you can bite
Speaker 1: my knuckle and I won't feel it, and he would
Speaker 1: be he would just go, like the round, so I'll
Speaker 1: let me bite as hard as I could on his knuckle.
Speaker 3: Really the skin, yeah, the skin, not the bone nothing.
Speaker 1: It was like he would curl his index finger in
Speaker 1: and then like on that first knuckle, just bite down.
Speaker 3: And he felt like you need it. It's like, oh
Speaker 3: I can oh boy, oh boy, yeah, I'm not sure.
Speaker 3: I love biting knuckles.
Speaker 1: It's funny. Now. I don't know how it came. It
Speaker 1: made sense at the time.
Speaker 3: You've been on a that says I love it when
Speaker 3: you have no sleep because you start talking about this
Speaker 3: knuckle biting stuff, you're deep dark seek.
Speaker 1: This is how dark kick.
Speaker 3: I used to bite my boyfriend's knuckles.
Speaker 4: Someone needs a nap. Scandalous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, really seemed normal until I just said it out
Speaker 1: loud and I was like, oh, that's right.
Speaker 4: No, I I love that antecdote.
Speaker 1: It was an offer from him. It wasn't my idea. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But then once once I did it, I was like, yes, I'm.
Speaker 3: Going to do at this time.
Speaker 1: No, this honestly was like two years ago.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, it's very recent. Oh it's the same though.
Speaker 3: It's like a mini witous. There your little knuckle skinned flap. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I imagine an elephant, since you know how your knuckles
Speaker 3: look like a little elephant knees.
Speaker 4: Yes, I bite.
Speaker 3: Elephants bite each other on the knees.
Speaker 1: Oh would't that'd be cut? That would be the most.
Speaker 3: They're already enjoyable enough protecting their young, getting concerned when
Speaker 3: baby I will go down a spiral watching elephant babies
Speaker 3: tip over and the parent going, oh, no, are you
Speaker 3: okay in helping them them up? The human parents barely
Speaker 3: do that.
Speaker 1: I know. I know. There's and also elephants look like
Speaker 1: they're like sad and understanding at the same time, So
Speaker 1: then there's this kind of it's a there's a built
Speaker 1: in poignant seat. Even if they could be two total
Speaker 1: asshole elephants. They can get worst people in the neighborhood.
Speaker 3: Right, you can still be like, h you know how
Speaker 3: you can judge people by their eyes. Elephants you never
Speaker 3: know in that mouth are they smiling? Are they sad?
Speaker 3: It's like a mona Lisa mouth.
Speaker 1: It's so true. And also when they grab a head
Speaker 1: of let and then they feed it to themselves.
Speaker 3: They grab heads of lettuce, oh, with their own nose. Yeah,
Speaker 3: their nose.
Speaker 4: As a well as a feeder.
Speaker 1: Their nose is a fifth feeder.
Speaker 4: And some elephants paint with their nose.
Speaker 1: That's true, Chris. And this morning on the show, we
Speaker 1: have one such a bit. Maybe Yeah, if I wasn't hiccupping,
Speaker 1: I give you my newscaster character.
Speaker 3: It's great. It just sounds like we're hitting potholes.
Speaker 1: You know what's funny. We were in Indianapolis. The woman
Speaker 1: who came to pick us up from the theater, her
Speaker 1: name is Hannah, and she's the first thing she said
Speaker 1: was sorry about all the potholes. Then I realize I
Speaker 1: remembered when she said that that someone else made talked
Speaker 1: about how about the potholes were in Pittsburgh, does everyone.
Speaker 4: Work for the city there, Why would you?
Speaker 1: I think this is a national infrastructure issue where like
Speaker 1: these things aren't getting taken care of.
Speaker 3: The way they You see, everyone's been hit hard precipitation wise,
Speaker 3: be it frozen, be it wet. Yes, it's extreme weather
Speaker 3: immediately effect. So wherever you are right now, we are
Speaker 3: sorry about your specific cities pothole.
Speaker 1: And sinkholes, which I get every time a sinkhole opens
Speaker 1: up in any city across America. I get tweeted too.
Speaker 3: Sinkholes across America have been swallowing buicks and other cars.
Speaker 4: It doesn't have to be a.
Speaker 1: Buick, any car American made, dammit domestic or foreign, foreign
Speaker 1: or domestic enemies.
Speaker 3: I used to snowboard on a live volcano known as
Speaker 3: Mount Bachelor in Bend, Oregon.
Speaker 4: Which is it is such an obvious volcano.
Speaker 3: The top of it has a cone shaped hole from
Speaker 3: the recent well one hundred years ago at blue shit,
Speaker 3: and there's like any day now it's going to blow again.
Speaker 3: It is not a good idea to have a ski
Speaker 3: area on this mountain. That's what all these smart scientists say. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but you you could be traversing and going kind of
Speaker 3: slow and just fall into a sinkhole there was, and
Speaker 3: you'd be surrounded by rocks and steam from volcanic activity.
Speaker 1: Are you serious? Yes?
Speaker 4: I saw it happen and had to pull a friend out.
Speaker 1: And there was you saw down in there and it
Speaker 1: was volcanic inside.
Speaker 3: Well it was rock, you know. There was just no
Speaker 3: snow down there. It's where it's just bare dark volcan
Speaker 3: type rock. Wow, the mountain is a volcano. I mean
Speaker 3: people have died that way while skiing. Ye, fallen sinkholes.
Speaker 3: I think bachelor. I not a bachelor, but I heard
Speaker 3: about it happening at Tahoe. Yeah, oh I bet. I
Speaker 3: mean these sinkholes. It's an issue in this country, and
Speaker 3: it's an issue on the streets. We'll bring it back
Speaker 3: to what we were talking about.
Speaker 1: Piece in the streets. Everybody peace out. Let's come on,
Speaker 1: Hey we should I'm going to look and see if
Speaker 1: there's a Starbucks we.
Speaker 3: Can oh yeah, yeah, we can utilize our new card
Speaker 3: if I think there's one coming up on the right.
Speaker 4: Really, you know this city well enough? Where are we?
Speaker 1: Oh, Alhambra girl, No we're not.
Speaker 4: I don't know what the parts of town.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to say it we're nol Hombro.
Speaker 3: I had a show last night in Arroyo, and I
Speaker 3: typed Arroyo and it looked like it was three hours away,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, oh man, I'm going to some desert community.
Speaker 3: But it's just the name of a golf course in
Speaker 3: South Pasadena. Oh, that's okay. It was a fun time.
Speaker 1: Oh good, Yes, you did comedy there on Saint Patrick's Day.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I got a little juice Lucy and I
Speaker 3: did some drunken jokies night.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was fun. That is fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, it's.
Speaker 4: So fun to be around you drunk like this.
Speaker 1: Wait what.
Speaker 4: Wait are you I'm not drunk?
Speaker 1: No, no, where, You're in your new apartment.
Speaker 4: Yes, let's talk about it more.
Speaker 1: I guess I want to ask this question correctly, but like,
Speaker 1: are there comedy shows that you can just run down
Speaker 1: and do the nearby?
Speaker 4: Totally?
Speaker 3: Yes, I've never The very first show I've ever walked
Speaker 3: to was Good Heroin on Friday Night. I've never walked
Speaker 3: to a comedy show before. I love that in Venice
Speaker 3: fifteen years. Even the handful of shows there, they aren't
Speaker 3: walking distance. I can think of a handful right now.
Speaker 3: Off the top of my head that are now I
Speaker 3: could do somersaults. I wouldn't even need to walk.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because also there's the and if you go up
Speaker 1: the street, there's there's the one at.
Speaker 3: That bar, a Little Joy.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I could walk to Little Joy.
Speaker 3: So far, I've gone there to see if there's a
Speaker 3: show and then just handed me a whiskey. I've been
Speaker 3: celebrating being in that part of town.
Speaker 4: You should a little too much.
Speaker 3: No, you should. I am in dangerous proximity to some
Speaker 3: very fun watering holes. Now that I'm in the thick
Speaker 3: of it, we're going to see big things from Fairbanks
Speaker 3: coming from Eco Park.
Speaker 1: You better get ready for our banks to really you
Speaker 1: better get your signature hand ready. You better get all
Speaker 1: your shirts ironed.
Speaker 4: I do believe you mean my autograph?
Speaker 1: Yes, thank you, Yes, that's what I'm in.
Speaker 3: Do you ever have.
Speaker 1: Karen?
Speaker 4: Karen, never eat at.
Speaker 3: A place and then when the waiter a waitress comes
Speaker 3: over and says can you put your autograph here?
Speaker 4: And you have to correct them, But you don't.
Speaker 1: Right because you're like, no, I would like to give
Speaker 1: someone my autograph for christ sake.
Speaker 3: If they say that, I just yeah, you just do it.
Speaker 1: You say with pleasure. It's why I moved to this
Speaker 1: town fifteen years ago with nothing but a smile and
Speaker 1: a dream.
Speaker 3: With pleasure, Virginia Slims, Should I do it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think good? You could? You could go to
Speaker 1: the right right, Yeah.
Speaker 3: You're yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just like kind of driving
Speaker 3: like a madman.
Speaker 1: No, we just go straight up. So it's fine.
Speaker 3: It's so funny that i'm it's every time i'm being
Speaker 3: I realize how much better you are. You're really good
Speaker 3: at podcasting and driving.
Speaker 1: But it's because women are Our brains are built a
Speaker 1: multitask because of the children.
Speaker 3: It's true, the children. You never you got one on
Speaker 3: each breast. You're making an.
Speaker 1: Egg and driving.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's dangerous. Why the unicycle in the kitchen?
Speaker 1: There's too much nursing around these eggs?
Speaker 3: That mother, Well, I'm a terrible mother and a terrible
Speaker 3: husband who made me that green god? Oh god, I
Speaker 3: stop at green lights.
Speaker 1: You're stopping because you're making a point. Okay, everyone, hold on,
Speaker 1: because I'm about to tell you that I press.
Speaker 3: On the brakes whenever a sentence has a period, like,
Speaker 3: what the hell is wrong with me? Oh? Because that's
Speaker 3: dangerous to it looks like I'm giving that guy a
Speaker 3: chance to turn.
Speaker 4: And then I'm like, never.
Speaker 1: Mind, no, never mind. I just remember. I remember I
Speaker 1: was driving.
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, who made me that? I'm a
Speaker 4: terrible husband?
Speaker 3: Drawing? That was an intricate you. You wouldn't remember that.
Speaker 4: And this, look at these nights. It's right here? Who
Speaker 4: made me these bookmarks? Jackie? Thank you for the bookmarks?
Speaker 1: Let me see. Just pick them up and look at yourself.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's Dina.
Speaker 1: Oh these are beautiful. I'm gonna take one because I
Speaker 1: need a im reading. I just started a new book.
Speaker 3: I just bought a book and it's for It's called
Speaker 3: Strange World, straight god whatever. It's a book with the
Speaker 3: word strange in it. I read the jacket and I'm like,
Speaker 3: that sounds like it's for me. And it's for the
Speaker 3: reading level of a seventeen year old.
Speaker 1: Strange World.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's called strange World. Oh no, I
Speaker 3: was in the stories I showed up. It's a good
Speaker 3: heroin early and I'm like, I should buy a book.
Speaker 1: Well, that's good.
Speaker 3: I have these bookmarks, and I have a reading chair.
Speaker 3: I have a big apartment. I could read.
Speaker 1: Oh I didn't realize you're going to be like that.
Speaker 3: Now I am going to be like that. There's scary
Speaker 3: to notice a lot of changes around.
Speaker 1: Here, Karen, I'm picking. I think I might pick this one.
Speaker 1: With the Barn, I.
Speaker 4: Have like a fainting couch.
Speaker 3: I have a chase lounge. I might be laying on
Speaker 3: that fainting Yeah. Well, whenever I get the vapors.
Speaker 1: Hey, Jackie, I'm going to take I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm yikey, are you listening, Jackie, I'm going to take
Speaker 1: the barn bookmark because I love it.
Speaker 4: But that doesn't say Dinah on it.
Speaker 1: I know, but I'm on the podcast, so I don't need.
Speaker 3: A reminder of that my podcast.
Speaker 4: Okay, you know what I mean? That's very right.
Speaker 3: And the times that I've worn my own Dinar shirt
Speaker 3: or Fairbanks shirt, people will call me out and I'm like,
Speaker 3: what it's what, It's a shirt I designed. I'm not
Speaker 3: I'll wear my shirt designs. But sometimes if they have
Speaker 3: your name, then you're a little you're being a little weird.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, I think that's the that's the thing where
Speaker 1: I think people go like, I love your thing, and
Speaker 1: so here's like, here's what I would wear, but I'm
Speaker 1: going to give it to you, right, even though then
Speaker 1: I want to go, but I'm not going to wear
Speaker 1: a thing of my own thing. Yeah. Yeah, I'm from
Speaker 1: the nineties where you would literally man or woman be
Speaker 1: beaten up for wearing a thing of your own thing.
Speaker 1: You had to like act like you didn't care in.
Speaker 3: The in the just on the heels of the late eighties,
Speaker 3: I think it was actually it could have been ninety
Speaker 3: ninety one. My friend Ian Lovely, who is from Loveland, Colorado.
Speaker 1: Really my dad worked with a man named Tom Lovely,
Speaker 1: really good friends for years.
Speaker 3: Ian's dad is named Tim Tim Lovely. Do you think
Speaker 3: Tom Lovely is Tim Lovely's long lost brother?
Speaker 1: I would love it or maybe very close brother, and
Speaker 1: we just have never made this. Lovely is not a
Speaker 1: common name, and a really good one. I'm going to
Speaker 1: go ahead and say right now that Tom and Timmer brothers. Anyway, there, kid,
Speaker 1: Ian was my buddy. Okay, so Ian's basically my cousin.
Speaker 3: Anyway, go ahead, Ian, your cousin was an amazing skateboarder.
Speaker 4: He's a funny friend.
Speaker 3: He was like in those in like the eighth grade,
Speaker 3: and he would get at the fair you can get
Speaker 3: a photographic picture of your face like they and they
Speaker 3: would emblazing it on our shirts. Green printed on our shirt.
Speaker 3: So he just had his hair was green. He had
Speaker 3: a picture of him on his shirt with green hair,
Speaker 3: but he was wearing a white shirt in the photo.
Speaker 3: So it's just a floating head of what what's directly
Speaker 3: above exactly the same had genius and for some reason,
Speaker 3: it what's the funniest thing in the world.
Speaker 1: It is. Yeah, it's like how when STEVEO on the
Speaker 1: Red Carpet revealed that he had a tattoo of his
Speaker 1: own face on his back.
Speaker 3: I mean, that is such a that then that that's like, well,
Speaker 3: that's premeditated, almost narcissistic, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: But it's a celebration of the celebration of your face.
Speaker 4: He did it as a joke.
Speaker 1: And it's it's a big face. I mean, it's ludicrous.
Speaker 1: I just love that guy. He's so just like, who
Speaker 1: gives a shit.
Speaker 3: I like him more and more now he's become a
Speaker 3: total sweetheart and he cares about things.
Speaker 4: When I met him, he was very drunk.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and and my friend Ryan used to do things
Speaker 3: with him, like when he was farting flames out of
Speaker 3: his butt or whatever. Ryan would be jumping over him
Speaker 3: on a skateboard. Sure Line's from Montana And we met
Speaker 3: them at the Rainbow Room and Steve O was having
Speaker 3: drinks and buying food for everyone, and then we went
Speaker 3: to at the Key Club. We walked down there was
Speaker 3: a pimp and Ho tall I think you told me
Speaker 3: about this, yes, where he just started peeing on the
Speaker 3: red carpet and Ryan was filming him and the pea
Speaker 3: was hitting. These are real pimps. They aren't just then
Speaker 3: dressed up for Halloween. No, they are.
Speaker 1: They're celebrating, they're doing it.
Speaker 3: They have working ladies under them that they probably slap around.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not the greatest thing to celebrate, but at
Speaker 1: the same time, you don't pee.
Speaker 3: On there are other people just being no God, And
Speaker 3: I remember watching him p on the red carpet with
Speaker 3: his shirt off and on his stomach. He had a
Speaker 3: a crip and blood tattoo of theater masts, like a
Speaker 3: sad face and a happy face. But one was the
Speaker 3: crips and one was the bloods, and it was they
Speaker 3: were intertwined, and maybe it was showing them together.
Speaker 4: It was just a comedy tattoo, right.
Speaker 3: But there was in I know that there was Grip
Speaker 3: and Blood affiliated fellas of course standing right there and
Speaker 3: watch and they were going to kill him until one
Speaker 3: of them was like, oh that's this is a guy
Speaker 3: from MTV or what like, And then all of a sudden,
Speaker 3: I just watched his fame get him out of being murdered. Yes,
Speaker 3: and then they carried him off and he got to
Speaker 3: go in for free. And we didn't even get entry.
Speaker 3: I didn't get to go to the pimp and hoe Ball,
Speaker 3: but I don't think I wanted to.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I think that he would have felt a
Speaker 1: little bit out of place.
Speaker 4: Problem.
Speaker 3: I love hose.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. They don't want either. It's not your time,
Speaker 1: white boy.
Speaker 4: What if I'm a John?
Speaker 3: What if I'm any John's invite into this pimp and
Speaker 3: hoe ball.
Speaker 4: Having money? Like how did a classic John.
Speaker 1: Thirty five dollars walking around.
Speaker 3: At a sucker suit like John here read it for
Speaker 3: some hoes.
Speaker 1: Ready a promenade with the pimps on the hose. There's
Speaker 1: in the nineties. I really fucking hated promenade, Like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's how I've watched.
Speaker 3: He's standing in between.
Speaker 1: Yeah, waving. You're waving cash like you're at a parade.
Speaker 1: But listen, there's on a couple of different websites there's
Speaker 1: they've been doing that for a while, and so they
Speaker 1: have pictures of those from New York City in the
Speaker 1: seventies when it was like the real fucking deal pimp
Speaker 1: and balls.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, that's not a phrase I'm coming up with.
Speaker 3: I hope no one thinks I use the word.
Speaker 1: We thought you organized this, We thought this was yours.
Speaker 3: I early on did the social media, but it's back
Speaker 3: in the flip phone day. It's all I did is
Speaker 3: text some people's beepers, guys, show up, please show up,
Speaker 3: and don't come strapped.
Speaker 4: I would always say, in all caps.
Speaker 1: Don't come strapped. But the thing I was going to
Speaker 1: say is it feels to me like that is a
Speaker 1: perfect example, separate from what the event was. Steve O
Speaker 1: was in this position, and I think it's why celebrities
Speaker 1: go crazy because they the world becomes unreal because they
Speaker 1: can do whatever they want, right because he has a
Speaker 1: fucking crip and blood tattoo, theater mass tattoo, which is
Speaker 1: hilarious and makes me nervous just saying it. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and because that's those are real gangs and people in
Speaker 1: the city we live in, right, And he fucking is.
Speaker 1: He has made it so that his basically party personality
Speaker 1: gets him out of things. Now he's which is even
Speaker 1: braver that he's sober now he walked away from that,
Speaker 1: like he basically added like a free pass to Assholeville
Speaker 1: and he was like, no, I want to be a
Speaker 1: cool person.
Speaker 3: I am really impressed with his recovery and how much
Speaker 3: he's changed. Like he went from getting a smiley face
Speaker 3: tattooed on his back from a bumpy car.
Speaker 4: Right, he has like a.
Speaker 3: Indian ink doorbell motor prison tattoo on his head.
Speaker 4: That's a joke.
Speaker 3: I mean I have a joke tattoo also of a
Speaker 3: band aid. I mean I got a little Steve o
Speaker 3: in sure.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not saying I'm not good enough.
Speaker 3: And now he's I'll go to his Instagram and he's
Speaker 3: like he went to some foreign country. He found a
Speaker 3: dog on the street, brought it to the vat and
Speaker 3: it's his dog. Now he saw these like feral dogs.
Speaker 3: I can't remember where they were, Venezuelas, Colombe, but yeah,
Speaker 3: he just need that's his dog now and he was
Speaker 3: sleeping in a tent with him like crazy jackass stuff
Speaker 3: but out of sweetness.
Speaker 1: Yes. Also his face and I know this is very
Speaker 1: like his face is the face of a boy I
Speaker 1: would have loved in third grade. Yeah, I can't explain it,
Speaker 1: but like, so I used to watch that the show.
Speaker 3: Are you going to talk about eyebrows?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 3: Have those eyebrows that's concerned elephant eyebrows that Timoth has?
Speaker 3: Or no, Timothy?
Speaker 1: No? You know what I want to talk about is
Speaker 1: the show that him and Chris Ponchas did.
Speaker 3: A mild Boy.
Speaker 1: Yes, I was. It got me through like it got
Speaker 1: me through some very dark time. Really, yes, because I
Speaker 1: just stumbled on it one day and it was like
Speaker 1: I was like, what the hell are they doing?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's the show he was doing during this Pimp
Speaker 3: and Hobaalt. That's what one of the pimps recognize him from.
Speaker 1: Okay, because it was that show was amazing. They were
Speaker 1: the perfect combination and they really I think the first
Speaker 1: the reason I started watching it the first time is
Speaker 1: because he was supposed to be bungee jumping off this
Speaker 1: really tall bridge and he didn't want to do it,
Speaker 1: and they were just making him do it. He was
Speaker 1: really mad. It was so funny. And then he did
Speaker 1: it. It was super scary. I think he he bungee jumped,
Speaker 1: but it was like just around his ankle or some
Speaker 1: fucked up like he could totally die thing. And I
Speaker 1: was like, I love this, Yeah, have it on your ankle.
Speaker 3: I around my ankles. They asked me how much I weighed.
Speaker 3: I was like, wait, if it's that close, I don't
Speaker 3: want to I'm one fifty five. And he's like, oh, okay,
Speaker 3: that's the They had a bunch of different lengths and
Speaker 3: strengths of bungee.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: We climbed up onto this train trestle.
Speaker 3: It was so illegal that someone on a scope was
Speaker 3: looking down the tunnel to see if a train was coming,
Speaker 3: oh and the other direction, and a train did come.
Speaker 3: We had to gather everything and hide under the bridge.
Speaker 3: But it was I dove off. It was connected to
Speaker 3: my ankles and I dipped. They said, do you want
Speaker 3: to dip in the water. It's four hundred feet and
Speaker 3: I and my head, just my head dipped in the water.
Speaker 3: And then and then they gradually and I didn't want
Speaker 3: to do it either. It was horrifying. It felt just
Speaker 3: like dying. Yeah, and you get two jumps and they're like, okay,
Speaker 3: time to your second jump, and I'm like one is enough, sir.
Speaker 1: I would how you do the second? Right? Again? That's nute.
Speaker 3: I hope I haven't told that story before, but no,
Speaker 3: I've never heard that was And then at the end
Speaker 3: they're like, who wants to shoot Noozy? Where we sh Trucky, California?
Speaker 1: You were just were you at like a white trash camp?
Speaker 3: I was, no, it was very Yes, it was the
Speaker 3: entire town is, yes, but you know they got some
Speaker 3: trash mixed with that class. Listen, there was snowboarder people.
Speaker 3: You know, my old mind. Oh okay, And but yes,
Speaker 3: I did not want to shoot Newsy. I just want
Speaker 3: to put that on record.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's good. I think that's a good call.
Speaker 3: Yeah, an automatic weapon against a rock wall. That's how
Speaker 3: that the wife died. In Legends of the Fall, remember.
Speaker 1: They shot news Ye?
Speaker 3: Why they shot? Was it Legend of the Fall? Yeah?
Speaker 3: It was Brad Pitt just married this beautiful Native American
Speaker 3: woman and then these guys shot these bootleggers or someone
Speaker 3: shot against this wall and one ricocheted and killed us.
Speaker 4: It was so sad. She went, oh god, oh no,
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 3: I didn't mean to ruin this episode.
Speaker 1: No, no, you didn't. You just ruined Legends of the Fall.
Speaker 1: Why was the freeway so fucking pact on a Monday morning?
Speaker 1: I was that commute traffic?
Speaker 3: I don't know, but it really took its toll on
Speaker 3: me emotionally. And Stephen was before we started recording. I
Speaker 3: was not.
Speaker 4: I didn't have any chill.
Speaker 3: Oh no. And I apologize Stephen. Sometimes I'm only in
Speaker 3: a good mood. Wow, wear podcast.
Speaker 1: That's why I podcast. Yeah, just so I can enjoy
Speaker 1: myself for that one hour a day.
Speaker 3: That's how I was last night.
Speaker 4: I was not wanting to do stand up.
Speaker 3: I didn't want drive to the show. I didn't. And
Speaker 3: then while I'm on stage, I'm like, this is fun.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's just it's just our weird personalities.
Speaker 3: Wow. How close was I to hitting that bus?
Speaker 1: Not? You know you were about two feet?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: No bit, Yeah yeah, I don't care about this car. No,
Speaker 3: go ahead and hit me your big yellow bus.
Speaker 1: Especially now that you're an east side or where who
Speaker 1: can walk in your cool shoes everywhere?
Speaker 3: Oh god, you're right, I do I notice while moving
Speaker 3: that I do have a lot of cool shoes.
Speaker 1: Mister cool shoes is what I call you.
Speaker 3: Behind you that you could do anything, but don't call
Speaker 3: me mister coool shoes. One of the better things about
Speaker 3: actually moving was throwing away a lot of things.
Speaker 4: I needed to do that.
Speaker 3: And it's a cleansing thing, you're supposed to do it.
Speaker 1: What was the hardest thing to throw away?
Speaker 3: The drill that my mother gave my dad. But it
Speaker 3: doesn't work, and it had a it's an old drill,
Speaker 3: and it would shock.
Speaker 4: It would literally shock my hands like it was dangerous.
Speaker 3: Yes, I had to like take the cord and wrap
Speaker 3: it around the drill to make it work. It's like, okay,
Speaker 3: this is a liability.
Speaker 4: Yes it was.
Speaker 3: It was only protected. I didn't have let black electricians tape.
Speaker 3: I was using white masking tape. No, it doesn't doesn't
Speaker 3: keep you from getting electrocuted.
Speaker 1: No, I think it might encourage it.
Speaker 3: I think it.
Speaker 4: Taunts electrication, challenges it to So you.
Speaker 1: Got rid of the drill. I think that's good. Your
Speaker 1: your mom would it would be looking down saying yeah,
Speaker 1: good call, yes, yeah, don't we'll fucking electrocute yourself. For
Speaker 1: Christ's sake.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I just realized sound nowhere her. I have
Speaker 3: her ashes somewhere I got unpacked. Still I still have
Speaker 3: to unpack everything.
Speaker 1: Is it? Were they her in your apartment?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't want to talk about it. I don't I know.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: I think they are.
Speaker 3: They are.
Speaker 1: They got to be. I moved everything and you have it.
Speaker 1: So how many boxes do you have left to unpacked?
Speaker 3: I still have my the base boards or whatever of
Speaker 3: my garage lined with with unessential boxes. Okay, bookshelves, and
Speaker 3: I still have to do my walls.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: I was watching True Romance and Michael rappaportd pit in
Speaker 3: it have a Hawaii wall where it's just a wallpaper
Speaker 3: sheet of a photo of.
Speaker 4: Like and I found one online. I'm I'm gonna I'm
Speaker 4: gonna have a Hawaii wall.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, that's the best idea.
Speaker 3: And in my room I found a evergreen, hazy forest
Speaker 3: photo and I'm doing that in my bedroom.
Speaker 1: Oh wait a second, I'm.
Speaker 3: Just gonna have this apartment that's built for someone to
Speaker 3: come and trip on mushrooms man.
Speaker 1: Yes, dude, let's go draggling man. Also, but also that
Speaker 1: sounds like fun for a party too.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, it's as soon as I get to
Speaker 3: know my neighbors. I think there's some young kids that
Speaker 3: live across from me that I think. It seems like
Speaker 3: this complex has been people that have lived there for years. Yeah,
Speaker 3: like O g Echo park folks.
Speaker 1: That's cool.
Speaker 3: And then so I made sure to introduce myself to
Speaker 3: everyone and befriend all the pit bulls. Good, and I
Speaker 3: think that I'm okay with the neighbors. I think that
Speaker 3: they like me good. Like, Hey, I'm Chris. I just
Speaker 3: moved in. If you ever need some sugar or you're
Speaker 3: making a pie.
Speaker 1: You don't, don't overdo it. I shouldn't have Oh they're
Speaker 1: all diabetic.
Speaker 3: If you ever need anything, oh am I about to
Speaker 3: provide examples.
Speaker 1: And then they're like every time you were walking up
Speaker 1: the front walk, they're like, oh, look at mister exampless here.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, hey, mister sugar pie, fancy shoes. It's the
Speaker 3: kind of guy that's ruining this neighborhood.
Speaker 1: I think it's exciting that you're in such a new
Speaker 1: social situation that you didn't have even in play before. Right,
Speaker 1: that's very cool, Like you always forget that where. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've lived in a house. I've had my old, racist,
Speaker 1: crabby neighbor on one side and my cool neighbor on
Speaker 1: the other side, and that's it. Like that. I love
Speaker 1: the idea that that could change.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I am going to miss my room. I
Speaker 3: am going to miss my my my courtyard. People. They're
Speaker 3: like sad to see me.
Speaker 1: Go.
Speaker 3: Sure, I do want to have a party and invite
Speaker 3: all of them, like a housewarming thing. And my neighbor
Speaker 3: Sylvia said I should register. She's like, do a registry
Speaker 3: for your party to get toasters and stuff, and like,
Speaker 3: don't you have to be getting married?
Speaker 1: Yes you do.
Speaker 3: I think so too. But she's sweet and suggestion.
Speaker 1: You know what she is.
Speaker 3: She's actually hiccups.
Speaker 1: You done. I switched mine over to you.
Speaker 4: You can do that.
Speaker 3: You can transes because I tried to do that with
Speaker 3: my Spectrum wireless bill.
Speaker 4: Can you switch this over to my roommate?
Speaker 1: That's their new commercial. Is easy as giving hiccups to
Speaker 1: the other person in the carless.
Speaker 4: Wireless handon over hiccups.
Speaker 1: You know how easy that is? And then seven examples
Speaker 1: from mister examples. I wish I wish there was a
Speaker 1: drive through Starbucks near here.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I thought we were.
Speaker 1: We were on the street we were on, which turned
Speaker 1: out to be this is Fairfax, But I thought we
Speaker 1: were over on the part that turns into Highland, which
Speaker 1: then I knew where there was one.
Speaker 3: Since we are close to halfway ear if not more,
Speaker 3: do you feel like we can make it all the
Speaker 3: way home? Yeah, yeah, for sure, because you don't want to.
Speaker 3: I bet you don't want to take a nap when.
Speaker 1: You give me, Yeah, I don't. I actually don't want coffee.
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to going to Starbucks.
Speaker 4: Isn't that funny?
Speaker 1: I just want to go there. This morning I went
Speaker 1: and just out of tea because it was like it
Speaker 1: was fucking five in the morning. It was, you know,
Speaker 1: five point thirty in the morning, so I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't drink coffee right now. I should be sleeping,
Speaker 1: so I got a tea instead. But it's just the
Speaker 1: ritual of it that's funny.
Speaker 3: I think I am. I am guilty of that as well.
Speaker 3: I do go there and I'm like, wait, I don't
Speaker 3: need coffee, but it'll give me my leg shakes, right,
Speaker 3: and they'll be kicking around.
Speaker 1: And you have to remember, which I think a lot
Speaker 1: of people. Coffee has really been shoved down our throats
Speaker 1: for hundreds of years. Tea is really the shit. It's medicine.
Speaker 1: It's like herbs and like plants and shit, and it's
Speaker 1: good for you.
Speaker 3: I've been meaning to get into tea.
Speaker 1: Let's get you into some east Side teas.
Speaker 3: I really oh some of those east Side tees. I
Speaker 3: love Eastern tea medicine.
Speaker 4: I really want to though.
Speaker 3: I've been meaning to do that. Yeah, And I've been
Speaker 3: meaning to buy picture frames. There's a lot of things
Speaker 3: I'm going to start doing.
Speaker 1: You must have a list, yeah, a moving list. It's
Speaker 1: so hard to move. I'm glad you have gotten it done.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a it was a you know, I
Speaker 3: was I had a place I was just going to
Speaker 3: hand move into the next unit, and it didn't work out,
Speaker 3: and so I uh suddenly had to find a place.
Speaker 4: I was under the wire.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I did it in like ten days, and half those
Speaker 3: days I.
Speaker 4: Was on the road.
Speaker 1: So I'm amazing.
Speaker 3: I allow me to brag a little.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't because I remember you saying that, but you
Speaker 1: were right or left here. You could go straight.
Speaker 3: I think I will go straight.
Speaker 1: You should and actually we'll go over Laurel.
Speaker 3: Canyon, which is pretty Can my car handle it?
Speaker 1: I think? So you drop it down into second gear.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, maybe I will. I met eighty percent oil life.
Speaker 3: It's that worth mentioning.
Speaker 4: Oh no, it's just okay. Pull over.
Speaker 3: At one point, my neighbor and one of the neighbors
Speaker 3: I won't be seeing, she had me jumpstart car, a
Speaker 3: car that her son often slept in, and I didn't ground.
Speaker 3: I didn't. I forget how to ground a car when
Speaker 3: you're supposed to take I don't know. Anyway, it blew
Speaker 3: some fuse and so all my lights on the dash,
Speaker 3: everything alarming is of the of the brake system, the break,
Speaker 3: the break being on the abs, whatever that is.
Speaker 4: They're all lit up.
Speaker 1: They're all lit up.
Speaker 4: Just learn to ignore them.
Speaker 3: You're taking a left hare I am, indeed.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's you know that. I've driven lots of
Speaker 1: cars over the years that needed to be jump started,
Speaker 1: so I've had lots of experiences with jumper cables, and
Speaker 1: one time, standing there, I was just kind of like
Speaker 1: who I was waiting for the other person. They hooked
Speaker 1: it up and then I was like saying something and
Speaker 1: I just let the two hit wow, and was like,
Speaker 1: got this huge jolt. It was hilarious. But then I
Speaker 1: was just like, okay, anyway.
Speaker 3: Your hands were on the rubber or was it.
Speaker 1: They didn't, Yeah, because I think it came through a
Speaker 1: little bit because they can't touch each other.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, that's the bad. I've never done that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was pretty strong.
Speaker 3: I'm bad at I'm starting cars. I think I just
Speaker 3: I'm like green or that's green. I think green is evolved.
Speaker 3: That's not bad. That's how bad. I do red and
Speaker 3: then red, and then I do black, and then I
Speaker 3: put black right on the post and there's always a
Speaker 3: spark and I kind of WinCE a little. Yeah, but
Speaker 3: nothing really bad has ever happened.
Speaker 1: But boy, it's scary.
Speaker 3: I may have done some damage to my car's computer,
Speaker 3: I'll be honest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder if they can just reset it. If
Speaker 1: it's one of those kind of things.
Speaker 3: I could reset it by simply welcome to car talk.
Speaker 3: By taking uh one of my battery posts off and
Speaker 3: just letting the battery be unplugged for a little while.
Speaker 4: That'll reset.
Speaker 3: Okay, if you ever need to reset your car's computer,
Speaker 3: go ahead and none do the battery take that from me,
Speaker 3: a guy who doesn't know shit.
Speaker 1: And do it for sure.
Speaker 3: But I've been meaning to do that. I haven't done that.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've been gone so long it's like
Speaker 1: tripping me out.
Speaker 4: It has been.
Speaker 1: All these apartment buildings look beautiful.
Speaker 4: It's you.
Speaker 3: They've rejuvenated them over the past week. Oh, looks so nice,
Speaker 3: reve renovated, rejuvenated.
Speaker 1: You know. So I'm also looking for a new place
Speaker 1: to live. But you are, yes, but just taking it real, easy, peasy,
Speaker 1: like you're a homeowner. I know I'm going to own
Speaker 1: a different home.
Speaker 3: Oh that's great, I know.
Speaker 1: I'm excited.
Speaker 3: Is it because you have a swimming pool and you
Speaker 3: feel like you don't.
Speaker 4: Use it enough?
Speaker 3: Into it?
Speaker 1: No, my dogs won't, George, I've tried to pull her
Speaker 1: into that.
Speaker 3: Sonarzing that they don't want to swim. I thought all
Speaker 3: dogs kind of were interested in water.
Speaker 1: I would choo, especially because she's like a hound. But
Speaker 1: I think she had I think she had a bad
Speaker 1: water experience, like as a puppy. I think she was
Speaker 1: like alone on the streets in Hesperia, which is where
Speaker 1: she was found. I think she had bad experiences and
Speaker 1: has a weird personality has a puppy.
Speaker 4: Just fell into a deep puddle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, nobody pulped her. Then I just start crying.
Speaker 4: You need some sleep?
Speaker 1: Why did anybody helme?
Speaker 3: My point being, dogs get traumatized.
Speaker 1: No, what was it before? It was? Oh, looking for
Speaker 1: a new house. Yes, like I love Laurel Canyon. This
Speaker 1: is where we're driving right now. But he's just listening,
Speaker 1: just passing Kirkwood. It's so pretty and it's like seventies
Speaker 1: la and like when you go up into these side streets,
Speaker 1: there's some houses that are just like it's like Neil
Speaker 1: Young style, like Joni Mitchell shit, and it's cool.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like hanging over this street. Yeah, but it wouldn't
Speaker 3: be that fun.
Speaker 1: I was supposed to live no traffic, well not on
Speaker 1: Laurel Canyon, I think, because this traffic never stops but
Speaker 1: up like talked away except when it rains, which now
Speaker 1: we know everything's super weather, Like Laurel Canyon will just
Speaker 1: be one big mud slide and you kind of can't do.
Speaker 3: Any example right there.
Speaker 1: Yes, it happens all the time. Wow, I know.
Speaker 3: So, so we're you're not going to move to this
Speaker 3: area then?
Speaker 1: No, I think I'm gonna I'm not sure. I'm just
Speaker 1: kind of wherewhere it's.
Speaker 3: Hard to do it by I mean, I looked at
Speaker 3: places in your area. I looked at tried to find
Speaker 3: other places in Venice. I wasn't opposed to staying there,
Speaker 3: and it just kind of worked out the Zycho Park place.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 4: I'm real excited.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I feel like things that when it works out
Speaker 1: the way it does, it's just that's how it's supposed
Speaker 1: to be. Like it's less about the choice you have
Speaker 1: and more just what's going to come up right and
Speaker 1: serve you up.
Speaker 3: And nothing makes me roll my eyes more than when
Speaker 3: someone says, well, it was meant to be. But oftentimes
Speaker 3: that really is the case. And also sometimes it just
Speaker 3: it is what it is, even though when people say
Speaker 3: that I want to throw a firecracker.
Speaker 1: In their mouth, it's true, But then it actually is
Speaker 1: what it is.
Speaker 3: At the end of the day, it is what it is.
Speaker 3: The same old, same old.
Speaker 1: Look, all things being the same, what's that one? All
Speaker 1: things being equal, all things considered, all things considered, I'm
Speaker 1: terry gross.
Speaker 3: Oh, just terry disgusted. That is gross.
Speaker 1: Now look at these potholes.
Speaker 3: I am dodging them. We have invented the best video game. Yeah. Oh,
Speaker 3: I just got another parking ticket. Taxes are due.
Speaker 1: Wait a second, I never paid that parking ticket, and
Speaker 1: now it's three times more expensive.
Speaker 3: And that's why I'm losing power on the road. That's
Speaker 3: such a video game thing.
Speaker 1: Losing power, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Or that you can't buy a sword because you have
Speaker 3: a heart condition?
Speaker 4: Zelda?
Speaker 1: Is is that how that game went? I know nothing
Speaker 1: about any video game.
Speaker 3: Yes, well, all of my knowledge is from early Nintendo,
Speaker 3: which I still have in the box with the gun
Speaker 3: and a copy of Duck Hunt. It's where it's a
Speaker 3: lot of money. Anyone out there looking are you?
Speaker 1: Is it in now? In your new garage?
Speaker 3: It is?
Speaker 1: It is so No, I'm just going to break into
Speaker 1: your new garage.
Speaker 3: They you don't know the address, lated friend. But in Zelda, yeah,
Speaker 3: he would go to a store and buy things like
Speaker 3: a shield or energy or oh okay. And I think
Speaker 3: that if he didn't have enough health, you can't go
Speaker 3: to the store. It's kind of like when you have
Speaker 3: the flu, you don't go clothes shopping. Yeah, it very
Speaker 3: Zelda was very true to life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was going to say, what kind of store
Speaker 1: is that? Macy's.
Speaker 4: No, it was.
Speaker 3: I played the store owner in a live action It
Speaker 3: was called The Legend of Neil and uh and I
Speaker 3: get arrested by Kyle Kanayan who is a elf cop.
Speaker 1: Huh uh.
Speaker 3: It was a do you remember Legend of Neil Stephen Damen.
Speaker 3: It was very funny. I enjoyed it. Well, it's a guy.
Speaker 3: The TV show movie it was a Adam Film's series.
Speaker 4: Web series.
Speaker 1: Oh, a web series, I see, yeah.
Speaker 3: Early Comedy Central Internet.
Speaker 1: Yes, terrible. That was you know in one of the
Speaker 1: shows was that was on that channel, Jimmy the Pimp,
Speaker 1: And it was about a little like freckle faced white child,
Speaker 1: redheaded boy that was a bait, like a child pimp.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: And I remember when that came out and everyone's like,
Speaker 1: this is so funny. I'm like, it is not funny.
Speaker 4: Are you talking about the movie Problem Child?
Speaker 3: Kind of look that kid?
Speaker 1: It was like urban. They were trying to be urban
Speaker 1: about Problem Child, which is offensive on about sixteen different levels.
Speaker 3: Yeah, or one big one. Yeah. Wow.
Speaker 1: I'm am I wrong to say that. It seems like
Speaker 1: everybody has trimmed back all of their foliage, Like everything's
Speaker 1: seems very nicely in the.
Speaker 3: Six days you've been gone. Yes, I think there's been
Speaker 3: some ooh told.
Speaker 1: You that man escaping total total modown over there.
Speaker 3: I combined landscaping and mowing into manscaping. What do you
Speaker 3: think I love.
Speaker 1: It's not a new word.
Speaker 4: It certainly is.
Speaker 1: I just came up with it.
Speaker 4: Oh, I remember the old one.
Speaker 3: It's me getting painfully waxed.
Speaker 1: That's right. It's nice that you do that, though it's.
Speaker 4: For the others.
Speaker 3: It's for the visitors.
Speaker 1: Welcome well, Christmas welcomed Lasered into his pubic area for
Speaker 1: the visitors, like a welcome for the paying customers.
Speaker 3: There's a couple because I like to have people stand
Speaker 3: on my crash new bits.
Speaker 1: I write that one down. I would write that one
Speaker 1: down if I were you. That's fun wonderful comedy everybody.
Speaker 3: It's funny.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I always think of good jokes when I'm passing cops. Yeah,
Speaker 3: they put the heat on and then I deliver.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Then you're like, guess what, I'm gonna kill you
Speaker 1: with comedy? So it's not real.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not a recorded threat on an.
Speaker 4: Officer that you've mad.
Speaker 3: That wasn't That wasn't smart? O, Come on, everything we've
Speaker 3: done is fine.
Speaker 1: Everything we do is great, positivity.
Speaker 4: We haven't talked. I'm sad. Do you get sad? Yep,
Speaker 4: I do too.
Speaker 1: It's very sad.
Speaker 3: I miss like we miss our friend Brodie Stevens. He's
Speaker 3: the best. That's I just want to say that right now. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because I'm sure a lot of we haven't podcasted since
Speaker 3: he passed, and it's very sad. I didn't realize when
Speaker 3: someone dies there's the initial Like I saw picture posted
Speaker 3: of him and right away I was like, oh, he
Speaker 3: committed suicide. And I felt sad that I thought that, yes,
Speaker 3: and then and I felt sad that I was right.
Speaker 3: But then little things come up because I realized he's
Speaker 3: someone I thought about a lot.
Speaker 4: Yes, when I'm reminding.
Speaker 3: Myself to be positive and everything, and it's just so
Speaker 3: ironic that he was struggling so much. But hey, we're
Speaker 3: thinking of Brodie Stevens the end. I don't want to
Speaker 3: bump people out. No, I know saytimes I'm a bummer,
Speaker 3: but it is important well mention that it is really important.
Speaker 1: But also I think also that idea. I think what
Speaker 1: makes it so touching is he was a person who
Speaker 1: struggled so much. With his mental health, struggled and struggled
Speaker 1: and really tried. And so yeah, his comedy, he would
Speaker 1: yell positivity and positive push and all this stuff, but
Speaker 1: it really was real because he needed to do that
Speaker 1: to get through every day. Yeah, and that's it's that's
Speaker 1: how a lot of people feel, and it's important, said.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I acknowledge it. I just think in retrospect,
Speaker 1: I'm glad that he had comedy. What if he didn't
Speaker 1: have it? Yes, And Willy was such a good comic.
Speaker 1: He was like, yeah, he was such a good comic.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I was the happiest I ever was to
Speaker 3: see him. Was I had When I worked at Fuel TV,
Speaker 3: I interview this skateboarder that was throwing a pitch that
Speaker 3: robbed her dick guy.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And so I was on the Dodger grass like I'd
Speaker 3: never been to the stadium, and I don't feel like
Speaker 3: I belonged there. I'm like, I should it should be illegal,
Speaker 3: and I'm here with a cameraman. But I always felt
Speaker 3: like we shouldn't be somewhere, right, but we had the
Speaker 3: credentials to be there. And then I off in the distance.
Speaker 3: I hear fair ranks and I look over and Brody
Speaker 3: was sitting in the dugout with the Dodgers. He was
Speaker 3: just very Dodgers and he's like, you want to meet
Speaker 3: some Dodgers And I went and I met these kids
Speaker 3: that played for them, like they were so young, but
Speaker 3: they really liked him and they he was hanging out
Speaker 3: there all the time. And it was so cool to
Speaker 3: me that he was just there with the team right
Speaker 3: before the games.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's him in a nutshell like he was.
Speaker 1: He had all these passions and it was comedy and
Speaker 1: baseball and you know, talking about his career. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is what I found. Yeah, and it was I
Speaker 1: don't know that. The thing that got me was they
Speaker 1: retweeted that. The next day after he died, the Arizona
Speaker 1: State baseball team had a moment of silence before their game.
Speaker 3: So did the Cubs, and they mentioned him a couple
Speaker 3: of times, oh not in a press conference and during
Speaker 3: a game. I don't know what his connection to the
Speaker 3: Cubs is.
Speaker 1: I don't either, but it's that kind of thing of people.
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody understands how important they are to
Speaker 1: other people, Like it just makes me. It's so painful
Speaker 1: because it's like Brody would have loved it.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, he would have loved people. Yeah, he would
Speaker 3: have liked to know. Oh my god that they mentioned him.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, and thereon he went he played for them, right,
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah it's uh
Speaker 3: it is too bad. Bad, it is bad.
Speaker 1: Also, I uh just were lightly touching on bad things.
Speaker 3: Sure, sure, we almost did in Alzheimer's podcast in the.
Speaker 1: Beginning, I know. Oh sorry up there at that light,
Speaker 1: you're gonna go right, Oh thanks, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 4: We had a lot and let me in. You got it,
Speaker 4: you got it?
Speaker 3: Really yeah, of course you want to be on a
Speaker 3: like follow that guy?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, where after him?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 4: Yes, what did he do?
Speaker 1: Follow him?
Speaker 3: Get him?
Speaker 1: He just The thing I was going to say is
Speaker 1: I saw this video this morning on Twitter. I retweeted
Speaker 1: it because these students they were having a vigil for
Speaker 1: two there were two teenagers that were killed in the
Speaker 1: christ Church shooting and the school that they went to
Speaker 1: in New Zealand and the school that they went to,
Speaker 1: they were having this vigil and these kids broke out
Speaker 1: in a hakka.
Speaker 3: Have you ever seen a hawka?
Speaker 1: Mary? Hakka? Yeah, it's the coolest, like and I was
Speaker 1: on the plane crying, like there was something about it
Speaker 1: where it was like.
Speaker 3: It was like, it's a powerful emotional. Yes, it's the
Speaker 3: most powerful emotional certainly of dances or whatever you want
Speaker 3: to call it.
Speaker 1: But I'd only seen it ever with kind of connected
Speaker 1: a little bit with like sports or like we're really
Speaker 1: strong and we're going to get you, like almost like
Speaker 1: a kind of a you know, almost like cheerleading. But
Speaker 1: obviously this ancient and cultural in a morning situation, but
Speaker 1: in a morning situation, and in that situation where it
Speaker 1: felt like it felt like they were going like fuck
Speaker 1: you for doing this, like it was such a it's
Speaker 1: beautiful in its strength, like they just made me happy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but also now I'm crying.
Speaker 3: That's okay.
Speaker 1: You have to see it. It's And also, you can't
Speaker 1: get teenagers to give a shit about anything. And there
Speaker 1: is a group of kids that's like twenty kids, and
Speaker 1: then the group just keeps growing and it gets louder
Speaker 1: and louder.
Speaker 3: I don't want to sound like the opposite of an
Speaker 3: old man, but I think young people are better than.
Speaker 4: They used to be.
Speaker 1: They are for sure, they.
Speaker 4: Really are.
Speaker 3: Aware and I'm not talking about not looking at phones,
Speaker 3: aware or whatever.
Speaker 1: No, they're like awake. They care about what's happening around them. Well,
Speaker 1: but also because their parents paid attention to them, so
Speaker 1: they think their opinion matters. So then they go, oh,
Speaker 1: I care about something, and it matters that I care.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Where I literally didn't vote until I was like twenty four, yeah,
Speaker 1: or even thirty four.
Speaker 3: Yeah. There are times where I see kids filled with
Speaker 3: self confidence and I'm offended by it for some but
Speaker 3: it's because I was raised to not you know, be
Speaker 3: not exist, you know, be heard, you know, make sure
Speaker 3: that because that's also can be an annoying thing. Like
Speaker 3: everyone listen to me, I got something to say. It's like,
Speaker 3: who wants to be around that? It depends on the situation.
Speaker 1: You have to always in every case, you have to
Speaker 1: be cool.
Speaker 3: You gotta have a balance. You gotta be chill, you.
Speaker 1: Gotta be cool, you gotta be you gott That is
Speaker 1: the worst fucking song. You gotta be hip, you gotta
Speaker 1: know you're right. It's the best song, now that I
Speaker 1: sing it out.
Speaker 4: A little bit.
Speaker 3: I bought that Becausette type Karen. I bought it and
Speaker 3: I was well into college.
Speaker 1: Did it make you feel positive?
Speaker 3: Did I just I know I liked her? What was
Speaker 3: her name? I think?
Speaker 1: I think right? Yeah, there's also the one you can
Speaker 1: meet me by rail? Wait remember that one? Oh No,
Speaker 1: I don't care how you get there.
Speaker 3: It's is it a Bonnie Raid song?
Speaker 4: Or is it just where your voice was similar?
Speaker 3: I blurted, I did stand up, and I well, we
Speaker 3: kind of change the subject, so I don't no, no,
Speaker 3: I would do it. Well, you teared up just now
Speaker 3: and then and then we started talking about other things,
Speaker 3: so I didn't. I want to go back to that.
Speaker 3: You can stand up and I I did again?
Speaker 1: Oh, because you did a brody.
Speaker 3: I said, yes, voice I had. I always liked doing
Speaker 3: an impression of him. And JP, the JP from Conan
Speaker 3: was there. It was like a fun show and I
Speaker 3: wanted to do well on it and there was a
Speaker 3: very good audience and it was going very well. And
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, his voice came out of
Speaker 3: my mouth and then I started crying, and I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: this isn't the time for this.
Speaker 4: There's something that.
Speaker 3: I'm realizing is when I'm on stage and I'm doing
Speaker 3: stand up, I am emotionally available. Yes, or I may
Speaker 3: have to make myself that way.
Speaker 1: You're vulnerable.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I didn't know that. That's man. That's when
Speaker 3: I should audition for. If there's ever like a dramatic
Speaker 3: film were have to cry, I should do stand up
Speaker 3: during the audition and then say okay, I'm tear ready.
Speaker 1: Yes. Well, also because you know that's like church laughing,
Speaker 1: where you know, stage crying is not allowed, so then
Speaker 1: it adds pressure.
Speaker 3: You're so right, Me crying while doing stand up is
Speaker 3: church laughing. It really is. That is what it is.
Speaker 3: It is exactly what happened. A lot of people didn't notice.
Speaker 3: JP said he noticed, but.
Speaker 4: It went away.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I sounded like my friend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then.
Speaker 3: You know, not that brody and I were. But that's
Speaker 3: the other thing. You're like, oh, I should have hung
Speaker 3: out with him more.
Speaker 1: Right, But it's like, but nobody hangs out with anybody now,
Speaker 1: I know exactly outly, we don't hang out with each
Speaker 1: other unless we're podcasting or doing a comedy show.
Speaker 3: I thinks are about to change because I live, I
Speaker 3: don't live. I'm not sequestered to the beach anymore.
Speaker 1: True was good?
Speaker 3: Why was I a retired boat man for so many years.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, also, like I find this with looking for
Speaker 1: a new house. It feels impossible because I've lived in
Speaker 1: my house for almost fifteen years. Yeah, it feels impossible
Speaker 1: to live in a different house. But I keep thinking, No,
Speaker 1: I want to be different. I want to not be
Speaker 1: the person that lives in that house anymore.
Speaker 3: I want to be different. What do you want with
Speaker 3: your new plays?
Speaker 1: I want I want to finally feel whole. No, I
Speaker 1: want to pool, and I want it to be small
Speaker 1: but with high ceilings and that's kind of pretty, and
Speaker 1: also just a little bit of way so that it's
Speaker 1: quiet because my house now is so quiet.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, how about exposed rafters?
Speaker 4: Do you like those?
Speaker 1: If they're there? Fine. I kind of like like a
Speaker 1: little bit of hilly, like Laurel Canyon, but not off
Speaker 1: of Laurel Canty because it's too restrictive. So a little
Speaker 1: like the hills would be a dream. But houses are
Speaker 1: so fucking expensive.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, Like it's crazy. I guess right now it's
Speaker 3: not the best time, but I don't know how to follow.
Speaker 4: Them on the market.
Speaker 1: It's the market's going down now, is it, Yeah? Because
Speaker 1: people people aren't buying.
Speaker 3: Man, it's been maybe they'd be written they because everything
Speaker 3: it was very expensive. I found an okay place, but
Speaker 3: I got those hills. Yeah, I got the sea, like, well,
Speaker 3: it's coming close to nine foot ceiling.
Speaker 1: Really, that's nice.
Speaker 3: Once you go, once you go to eleven, you can't
Speaker 3: go back. You don't go back, you can't.
Speaker 1: Well, there's something I truly. I lived in an apartment
Speaker 1: in when I lived in Silver Lake, and it was
Speaker 1: like thirty foot ceilings. It was one of those ones
Speaker 1: where you walk in, then you walk down a flight
Speaker 1: of stairs. Yeah, and oh.
Speaker 3: The lady is struggling with so many things.
Speaker 1: That dog almost tripped her. Frank did that to me
Speaker 1: in the crosswalk once. I almost kicked him across the
Speaker 1: street because he he walked in between my legs in
Speaker 1: a crosswalk and I was like, are you trying to
Speaker 1: kill me? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess they just don't realize.
Speaker 1: No, they don't, they don't know.
Speaker 4: They don't know it was dog.
Speaker 1: Should I keep on describing high ceiling? Do you think
Speaker 1: we're done?
Speaker 4: I'm a big I'm a big fan of I am.
Speaker 1: So are you a ceiling fan?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Yeah, only I can still Oh shit, oscillating, you know,
Speaker 1: it's a good joke. When you make Stephen make a noise.
Speaker 3: He just made it man noise, boom boom.
Speaker 1: I don't I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: I don't believe that Ed McMahan sounded like that or
Speaker 3: whatever he yelled, Daddy, like.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think you did.
Speaker 3: Actually, I didn't want to go, Hey, how long do
Speaker 3: you get to be in town?
Speaker 4: And because you're going.
Speaker 3: To need time to focus on search, I needed to
Speaker 3: block out a few weeks to to.
Speaker 1: Oh, I've been doing it in between here and there
Speaker 1: because I don't have a time. So it's not like
Speaker 1: I sold my house or gave notice or anything. So
Speaker 1: I can do it whenever I want.
Speaker 3: That's great. Yeah, that was the I was against the
Speaker 3: wire or whatever you say when because my roommate's fiance
Speaker 3: was moving in and time was of the essence. It's
Speaker 3: like so hard to time that, Yeah, but I think
Speaker 3: it worked out as best it can. About after this,
Speaker 3: I go to my old place and move the washing
Speaker 3: and dryer out, put it in the alley with a
Speaker 3: free exclamation point works exclamation point sign.
Speaker 1: That thing will be gone in one moment.
Speaker 4: I believe so too.
Speaker 3: I don't think it'll be littering for maybe a couple hours.
Speaker 3: Look at this, here's your home. Oh it's so beas
Speaker 3: down under the it's gorgeous. You know what, I'm going
Speaker 3: to make it really special and go into your driveway.
Speaker 1: Yes, thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Another classic episode adhering to our original mission statement of
Speaker 3: using the terrible fucking airport.
Speaker 1: Yes, that was an airport episode if you've ever heard one.
Speaker 4: I wasn't taking it well. But I'm in a good
Speaker 4: mood now.
Speaker 1: I mean I was also in a bad mood. But look,
Speaker 1: this is when you deal with things at six to
Speaker 1: eight in the morning. Six seven eight in the morning.
Speaker 1: What are you supposed to do? It sucks.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm in a good mood now, but we're gonna
Speaker 3: stop podcasting and then I'll go right back to feeling
Speaker 3: like shit.
Speaker 1: Now, cross your arms real tight and drive home.
Speaker 3: You got right.
Speaker 4: That sounds dangerous. You've been listening to you. Wait, would
Speaker 4: you like to plug anything?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't have a plug plug, but we have
Speaker 1: merch that people should put my coat over my microphone.
Speaker 4: People like those enamel pins.
Speaker 1: Yes, we have enamel pins of our heads of it's
Speaker 1: Chris Fairbanks's original drawing. We have a T shirt with
Speaker 1: our heads and dinar. It's really cool merchant. We're really
Speaker 1: excited about it. So go to the exactly Right website.
Speaker 3: Really nice smugs and one of the mugs is for
Speaker 3: being in a car, because you know, we have a web,
Speaker 3: we have a.
Speaker 4: This a website.
Speaker 1: This is a website.
Speaker 3: You have a talking website that takes place in a car.
Speaker 3: So you can get our website based podcast mugs smug
Speaker 3: for driving in your car. Oh my god, I almost
Speaker 3: had a stroke. That took so much brain.
Speaker 1: But we're starting a website. And then you can also
Speaker 1: look at the Exactly Right Network, which is a netwhere
Speaker 1: we just started. Yeah, a lot of new merch yes,
Speaker 1: and new shows and also exciting things coming up.
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm excited.
Speaker 3: What's that new? The new show with the guy that it's.
Speaker 1: Called Jensen and Holes murdersc and you met him on
Speaker 1: during a tour or yes? Do you have any upcoming shows?
Speaker 3: Not? Not really, I'm just going to focus on moving.
Speaker 3: I'll probably think of something when we're doing commercials. Oh,
Speaker 3: wish that i'd said it. Oh I go the Dennis
Speaker 3: for a deep cleaning on April twenty ninth.
Speaker 1: Great mark your calendars. Everybody you've been listening to Do
Speaker 1: you need a ride?
Speaker 4: Do you like?
Speaker 1: And a art? Are leading? I? You wanna way back home?
Speaker 1: Either way we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim, and give us
Speaker 2: time and a termino and gay. We want to send
Speaker 2: you off InStyle. You want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 1: Tell us all about it. We scared her? Was it fine? Melbourne?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need with Karen and chriss mm hmmm