Speaker 1: Welcome to Checking In with Michelle Williams, a production of
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.
Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, I think this conversation with Pastor mic Todd
Speaker 2: is going to be transformative for those that will listen
Speaker 2: with an open mind and an open heart. That you
Speaker 2: will listen with an open mind and an open heart.
Speaker 2: And if you're able to get to the end of
Speaker 2: my conversation, I'm gonna surprise him too. But I'm going
Speaker 2: to surprise you, and I want you to listen to
Speaker 2: the end of the conversation for some specific instructions that
Speaker 2: I am going to give. Pastor mic Todd is a
Speaker 2: number one New York Times bestselling author, pastor of Transformation
Speaker 2: Church in Tulsa, Oakal Life Homer, a phenomenal musician and producer,
Speaker 2: and it's good to hear him picking up music again.
Speaker 2: And we'll talk about that. We'll talk about how sometimes,
Speaker 2: you know, do you feel like you have to lay
Speaker 2: something down for a season because of something else that
Speaker 2: you're maybe called to do a purpose to do. So
Speaker 2: you gotta lay one thing down, do your assignment, and
Speaker 2: then come back up and pick up the other thing
Speaker 2: that you're also gifted at too. So I'm excited to
Speaker 2: hear his take on all of that, and so y'all
Speaker 2: stay locked in. Pastor Mike Todd is in the building.
Speaker 2: Y'all listen. I am very excited to have on checking
Speaker 2: in Pastor Mike Todd. Now, if you read the book,
Speaker 2: he tells you his whole government name. Okay, on like
Speaker 2: the first page of Damage but Not Destroyed, y'all. I'm
Speaker 2: so excited because Damage but Not Destroyed is available now today.
Speaker 2: T U h d A y okay. So I'm gonna
Speaker 2: make him blush a little bit. But all I'm gonna
Speaker 2: do is speak facts.
Speaker 3: Oh no, okay.
Speaker 2: He is the number one New York Times bestselling author.
Speaker 2: All right, two million now, two million copies sold of
Speaker 2: his first book, Relationship Goals.
Speaker 3: That's crazy, right, I'm so excited.
Speaker 2: How do you feel.
Speaker 4: About that number one? I'm talking to Michelle Willions.
Speaker 2: It's good to be on the New York Times bestseller list.
Speaker 2: I thought I was gonna make it. I didn't make it.
Speaker 2: I want I could have been number twenty nine on
Speaker 2: the best but you number one.
Speaker 4: But this is better than the New York's Time bestseller list.
Speaker 4: Because I'm on a podcast with Michelle Williams. Do you
Speaker 4: know how much of an intricate part you were of
Speaker 4: my upbringing? Okay, save my name and save my name.
Speaker 4: I just needed you to know that.
Speaker 2: That's one of the chapters of the book.
Speaker 4: Okay, keep going, Okay, we don't give it away yet.
Speaker 4: Don't give it away yet. We talked about that in
Speaker 4: a minute. But I am so excited to be here
Speaker 4: with you. I feel like you're my sister. We got
Speaker 4: to meet for just a little moment in Atlanta, and
Speaker 4: it was like, where have you been all my life?
Speaker 3: And it's just really one.
Speaker 4: Of those cool, cool moments to connect with people who
Speaker 4: actually care about doing the inner work as well as
Speaker 4: all the things that are happening in public. So yeah,
Speaker 4: I wrote a book about relationship goes about me and
Speaker 4: my wife, who I've been dating since I was fourteen
Speaker 4: years old. Is when I met her, and literally all
Speaker 4: the ups and downs, trials, tribulations, crazy moments and our
Speaker 4: story of redemption and just some things that people could
Speaker 4: be helped in relationship because people kind of fail at
Speaker 4: that a lot in this day and age. And I
Speaker 4: put it out in the middle of a pandemic. I'd
Speaker 4: never written a book before I barely passed math, math,
Speaker 4: and English high school. So it was like, I mean,
Speaker 4: let me just share something that I think is valuable,
Speaker 4: and I mean it went crazy and people bought it
Speaker 4: all over the world. And to think that's the first
Speaker 4: time I've heard the two million number. That's ridiculous. Like
Speaker 4: the fact that that book has gone on. I just
Speaker 4: pray that it's a blessing to people for a long
Speaker 4: long time and help people win.
Speaker 3: In Mayorage dating and checks that's it.
Speaker 2: And he smiled really big too when he got to
Speaker 2: say that because he got somebody, he gets to go
Speaker 2: home to his.
Speaker 3: Wife, Glory to the living God.
Speaker 2: Listen, listen, listen, Lord, help me too. Oh don't and
Speaker 2: I have. It wasn't nothing. It wasn't y'all listening. It
Speaker 2: wasn't none of your business. But yes, okay.
Speaker 3: Another fact is.
Speaker 2: That you are the lead pastor of Transformation Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
Speaker 3: I am, okay, I am, and I love it.
Speaker 2: And there's so many ways I can go relationship, go
Speaker 2: the faith testimony of how you guys acquired the building
Speaker 2: and just your whole journey. It would take hours to
Speaker 2: talk about it. But I also want to tell people y'all,
Speaker 2: he is a phenomenal musician, producer. I say, a.
Speaker 4: Musician, Michelle, you're doing too much, too much.
Speaker 2: I know we're here to talk about damage but not destroyed,
Speaker 2: from trauma to triumph. I get it, and we're gonna
Speaker 2: get there. But y'all, he's more than pastoring.
Speaker 3: Is that's the thing.
Speaker 2: And we'll talk about a choice that you might have
Speaker 2: had to make. Okay, let's just let's do that.
Speaker 3: The choice just going. Let's go and do it.
Speaker 2: The choice that you possibly had to make to lay
Speaker 2: down music to go into ministry. Now, music can be ministry,
Speaker 2: but I'm just saying in the form of ministry that
Speaker 2: you now you had to lay down the desire to
Speaker 2: be the artist and producer musician.
Speaker 4: So part of part of my journey is I tell
Speaker 4: people all the time, you are not what you do
Speaker 4: only and a lot of people so many times they
Speaker 4: wrap their entire identity off of whatever became successful. And
Speaker 4: one of the things that I six minutes in, oh,
Speaker 4: I thought we was. I thought we came to do
Speaker 4: it like I thought this was that podcast, so we
Speaker 4: could go all the way in.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 4: So, and so the truth of the matter is a
Speaker 4: lot of people. Whatever successful, they think that's where they
Speaker 4: should rest all of their identity and purpose. But the
Speaker 4: one thing I learned very early on is that God
Speaker 4: never gives people just one seed. He gives so many seeds.
Speaker 4: On the inside. It depends on what you water. And
Speaker 4: on the inside of me there were so many seeds
Speaker 4: music and speaking and creative and all these things, and
Speaker 4: I decided that at a young age, I was going
Speaker 4: to water all of them. And so when the fruits
Speaker 4: started coming from all of them, I had to make
Speaker 4: a decision to begin to ask God what was my assignment,
Speaker 4: not my opportunity. And a lot of people right now
Speaker 4: are caught because they have so many opportunities and they
Speaker 4: don't know what an assignment is. And that's where I'm
Speaker 4: here to really tell this generation that you only can
Speaker 4: get an assignment from God, but if you good, you
Speaker 4: can have tons of opportunities. And so my my journey
Speaker 4: took me to a place where the greatest thing that
Speaker 4: I do is never what can I do, It's what
Speaker 4: does God want me to do? And that's where I
Speaker 4: think a lot of people are off right now. Somebody
Speaker 4: could offer me a lot of money to do something
Speaker 4: I'm good at but I knew it wouldn't be my assignment,
Speaker 4: and so that thing wouldn't be blessed for me. And
Speaker 4: so I just know that for me, that's what happened.
Speaker 4: In the music and ministry. I would have been successful
Speaker 4: as a music producer. I probably would have produced your
Speaker 4: third album. I probably would have done all of those
Speaker 4: different things. And now there's still an opportunity I would
Speaker 4: I would have been I would have been there. But
Speaker 4: at the same token, God's timing is perfect. When you
Speaker 4: obey him, he brings everything back around. He wastes nothing.
Speaker 4: There is nothing that he's going to put on the
Speaker 4: inside of you that he's going to leave them. The
Speaker 4: inside of you is just about timing. And so now
Speaker 4: is the season where I'm getting to walk into a
Speaker 4: whole bunch of music opportunities, people that I love, like
Speaker 4: Michelle Williams, I'm sitting on the phone with so if
Speaker 4: I had a track, I could text it to you
Speaker 4: right now.
Speaker 3: Did you understand what I'm saying?
Speaker 4: Like, following his purpose leads me into the thing that
Speaker 4: I love, and that's a passion.
Speaker 2: Wow. I don't have no title or anything in church,
Speaker 2: but I'm hearing Siki first the kingdom, Oh yeah, I've got.
Speaker 3: In Matthew six thirty three.
Speaker 4: Yes, And then everything else gets at it, and a
Speaker 4: lot of people are seeking the things. They're going after
Speaker 4: the things instead of him, and they go after the
Speaker 4: things what I say, instead of the king. And the
Speaker 4: King actually knows the playbook, he knows the lay of
Speaker 4: the land, he knows what he wants for you to do.
Speaker 4: And I've just found in my short little life of
Speaker 4: a lot of impact comes from places I didn't think
Speaker 4: it was gonna come from because I did it in
Speaker 4: the timing that God wanted it to happen, not in
Speaker 4: the timing that I wanted it to happen. And the
Speaker 4: more you like lean into that and get into that lane,
Speaker 4: you don't have to worry nothing I'm doing right now.
Speaker 4: I have to hold up. I just got to show
Speaker 4: up like I'm not trying to hold things together. I'm
Speaker 4: not trying to finesse and do all of these things
Speaker 4: that a lot of people have to do. And that's
Speaker 4: what causes stress, that's what causes burnout, and that's what
Speaker 4: causes trauma. And so a lot of people have to
Speaker 4: really real themselves back in to figure out what's my assignment,
Speaker 4: not just what's my opportunity?
Speaker 2: Well, am I allowed to say your word, success fueled
Speaker 2: by the wrong source.
Speaker 3: Is just stress that that's it.
Speaker 2: Is taken from damage but not destroyed.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know that's the truth, and.
Speaker 2: I'm so excited about that. I want to pivot back
Speaker 2: to something you said about assignments versus opportunities. Do you
Speaker 2: feel that's why so many people maybe are not fulfilled
Speaker 2: or they don't ever complete anything.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's exactly the reason is because if you're not
Speaker 4: attached to something bigger than you, something that's outside of you,
Speaker 4: something that is for somebody else that benefits you, but
Speaker 4: it honestly helps the world. We were built with that
Speaker 4: on the inside of us, Like we were built to
Speaker 4: be generous. We were built to give what God's given
Speaker 4: us away. And so many times, like people chase after
Speaker 4: bags and they lose the blessing, Like the bag is
Speaker 4: not the blessing. The blessing is. I'm doing what I
Speaker 4: was called to do. I'm helping somebody, I'm walking in purpose.
Speaker 4: And so if I could give any message to my
Speaker 4: peers in this generation is like you've tried it, You've
Speaker 4: tried to go after the bag, You've gone on vacations,
Speaker 4: you catching flights, you burkinged up, you got.
Speaker 3: Louie and Dewey and gooy.
Speaker 4: You've done everything, and at the end of the day,
Speaker 4: sitting in that penthouse apartner, you still feel empty, Like
Speaker 4: there's no way that that was the thing that was
Speaker 4: supposed to fill you.
Speaker 3: It has to be something else. And that's why I'm
Speaker 3: telling people right.
Speaker 4: Now, a lot of those things that we're talking about,
Speaker 4: they're coping mechanisms for trauma we've experienced. If we want
Speaker 4: to be honest about it, like a lot of us
Speaker 4: going after the opportunities, and the thing is because I
Speaker 4: don't really want to deal what's going on inside of me.
Speaker 3: So let me go and be successful. Come on, let me.
Speaker 4: Go out here and let me try to prove that
Speaker 4: I'm worth something, that I still have value that when
Speaker 4: I post on Instagram with old.
Speaker 3: Boy or old girl like that validates me.
Speaker 4: And I'm telling you all that stuff is a quick
Speaker 4: way to just burn out and not actually have any
Speaker 4: real fulfillment in life. And so I'm just encouraging people like,
Speaker 4: evaluate what you do for real and then see if
Speaker 4: there's anything attached to it that is traumatizing to you.
Speaker 4: And it's the reason you do it, because if we
Speaker 4: don't deal with the root of it, we'll never be
Speaker 4: able to get better.
Speaker 3: Fruit.
Speaker 2: Listen, I would have say this. There's something I was
Speaker 2: gonna say to Okay, let's be transparent.
Speaker 3: Humble, open and transparent. Let's go Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was gonna go into that too. I used to buy,
Speaker 2: especially cars, every time I would break awa.
Speaker 4: Yes, everybody not but everybody, I just need to let
Speaker 4: you know this can This may not be your testimony,
Speaker 4: but we are talking to Michelle Williams.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, listen, and my mama, my mama, start your amen.
Speaker 2: My mama noticed a pattern and one day a bout
Speaker 2: a car and she said, who'd you break up with?
Speaker 2: And so I had to trauma wise, what was in
Speaker 2: me that was trying to replace something that's gone on,
Speaker 2: something that's left. Now, when you get on assignment and
Speaker 2: you get in purpose the things that you thought you
Speaker 2: even wanted, you don't even want him no more.
Speaker 3: You don't even want it no more.
Speaker 2: You don't want him her or the car. You don't.
Speaker 3: You don't.
Speaker 2: So, by the way, and I didn't read the room.
Speaker 2: I did not say that to to flex I pray
Speaker 2: on my heart.
Speaker 4: No, that's her real life. Everybody that that was her
Speaker 4: real life. Okay that that may not be your real life,
Speaker 4: but that's her.
Speaker 3: Well, some of y'all.
Speaker 2: You you might be standing in the Michael Kors line,
Speaker 2: the Louis Maton line to get their purse to get.
Speaker 4: Or or Michelle they may they may be in front
Speaker 4: of the refrigerator. Because the truth of the matter is,
Speaker 4: many times, a lot of the things that we put
Speaker 4: in our mouth are because of what we don't have
Speaker 4: in our lives.
Speaker 3: Yes, sir, a lot.
Speaker 4: Of times it's it's we're eating, I'm gonna get some
Speaker 4: cake because I'm gonna feel good today, Like I'm gonna
Speaker 4: I'm gonna go have me a double dip of whatever
Speaker 4: this ice cream is, and I feel better because they
Speaker 4: say it's vegan, but that don't take the sugar out
Speaker 4: of it.
Speaker 3: They're saying what I'm saying.
Speaker 4: And the truth of the matter is a lot of
Speaker 4: times we need to evaluate what we put in because
Speaker 4: what we don't feel like we have within that is
Speaker 4: a real value metric that everybody needs to evaluate. More clothes,
Speaker 4: more friends, more opportunities, more success. Do you actually need
Speaker 4: more or are you trying to feel a god hole
Speaker 4: is what I call it, with things that will never
Speaker 4: be able to fit in that space in your life.
Speaker 2: And y'all listen, do't be like me, because I was
Speaker 2: always upside down in every trade because the Lord didn't
Speaker 2: want me. It never worked out for me, you know,
Speaker 2: always trying to replace stuff. So don't do that, y'all.
Speaker 2: To finish out the loan, finish out the least of
Speaker 2: the thing, and it's so you won't be upside down.
Speaker 2: And really the lesson is we dig ourselves into financial holes,
Speaker 2: we dig ourselves into emotional pits and stuff like the
Speaker 2: so fine purpose get healed so that way we're not
Speaker 2: trying to replace stuff. You said some things that were
Speaker 2: also snippets to y'all. I gotta keep talking about the
Speaker 2: book I personally passed through my TID. I asked for
Speaker 2: an advanced copy of the book because they got it
Speaker 2: to me, and because I despise when I write a
Speaker 2: book or put out music, the person that's interviewing me,
Speaker 2: they don't read or listen to it, and then they
Speaker 2: got to ask me dumb questions. I appreciate that, so
Speaker 2: I want the interview to go beyond what surface. What
Speaker 2: we can google, you can't get a book. Get So
Speaker 2: there are some things. I won't give the book away.
Speaker 4: But it really you can give it away. You can
Speaker 4: give it away. I want them to be healed.
Speaker 2: Listen. It touched me so much, damaged but not destroyed,
Speaker 2: from trauma to triumph. You talk about so much, you're
Speaker 2: so honest. I just transparent, and you get so vulnerable.
Speaker 2: You get so vulnerable, y'all the endorsements preached.
Speaker 4: I got some good friends, I got some good endorsements preach.
Speaker 2: Okay, so y'all get the book so you can know
Speaker 2: what I'm talking about, and you'll be like, okay, I
Speaker 2: gotta get a chapter one. But let me let me
Speaker 2: tell you what I said. I said, you are very honest, transparent,
Speaker 2: and you get very vulnerable in this book, to the
Speaker 2: point where I read the book with one hand over
Speaker 2: one eye A little bit. Yeah, because when one gets
Speaker 2: there's a difference between vulnerable and being transparent. Being transparent
Speaker 2: is yeah. I used to buy cars when I would
Speaker 2: break up with people. But being vulnerable, being vulnerable. You
Speaker 2: tell how you felt about the thing. I felt like crap,
Speaker 2: I felt horrible, I felt used, I felt less than
Speaker 2: and you say all so many things about yourself, yourself aware,
Speaker 2: you don't blame shift and blame anybody else. And it
Speaker 2: also rattled a thing or two in me that let
Speaker 2: me know, Sis, oh you need to process this hit.
Speaker 2: You took a little more.
Speaker 4: This is actually I'm getting goosebumps because this is the
Speaker 4: reaction that I wanted, because I said, if somebody's gonna
Speaker 4: get healed, you know, when you're going through something and
Speaker 4: you're like, well, who's gonna go to the dance floor first?
Speaker 4: Like it's a party, but everybody's standing on the side
Speaker 4: and the music is going, and everybody looking who's.
Speaker 2: Gonna go to the buffet line because you don't want
Speaker 2: to look greedy?
Speaker 3: Or yeah, who's gonna do it first?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: And everybody hungry and everybody is hurting, But who's gonna
Speaker 4: go first? And And for me, even with the position
Speaker 4: that I hold this pastor many times pastors we put
Speaker 4: it on people we know y'all are struggling with and
Speaker 4: we know y'all a da da da, And I was like,
Speaker 4: I want to take a whole different approach. I'm gonna
Speaker 4: put myself on blast. I'm gonna I'm gonna say everything
Speaker 4: that the Lord has been doing in me from the
Speaker 4: time of two years old all the way up to
Speaker 4: almost forty. I want to use this as a playbook.
Speaker 4: This is the book that people write when they're seventy.
Speaker 4: And I said, the problem is it's too far removed
Speaker 4: from when I need to do the work. And so
Speaker 4: I want to remember this fresh and I want I
Speaker 4: want to hopefully inspire somebody to do the work, because
Speaker 4: the life on the other side of doing the work,
Speaker 4: of walking out this healing journey, It's like my life
Speaker 4: went from black and white to color. And I tell
Speaker 4: people in the book, I said, there's nothing like a
Speaker 4: hit you don't see coming. And many of us don't
Speaker 4: recognize that a lot of things when we're one hit
Speaker 4: away from totally breaking because we haven't dealt with none
Speaker 4: of our issh excuse me from my language, but I'm
Speaker 4: just telling you that some of you are one disappointment away,
Speaker 4: one frustration away, one job loss away, one breakup away
Speaker 4: from your whole world crumbling. Not because it has to,
Speaker 4: it's me because you've been holding so much stuff together
Speaker 4: that you have not really dealt with. You've pushed it down,
Speaker 4: you've buried it. You visit your family every Thanksgiving and
Speaker 4: every Christmas with problems, but you never say anything. And
Speaker 4: when you get in the car, you just cuss and
Speaker 4: scream and get frustrated. There's so much on the inside
Speaker 4: of us, but we're not letting that thing out in
Speaker 4: a way that would be healthy. And I'm just telling people, like, listen,
Speaker 4: this is the season where you allow everything that's happened
Speaker 4: to you no longer to find you.
Speaker 3: But you cannot ignore it. You gotta face it.
Speaker 4: You gotta walk up to it and say you are
Speaker 4: no longer the thing that will be able to put
Speaker 4: me in my share.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna deal with you.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna handle you, and with God's help and God's
Speaker 4: grace and counseling and community and being honest, those things
Speaker 4: can actually turn your pain into your platform. I'm here
Speaker 4: talking about all the crap that I went through and
Speaker 4: it's going to help people.
Speaker 3: And it's gonna see me and my wife on vacation.
Speaker 4: So I'm just saying, like, the pain can become your platform,
Speaker 4: and God can use all of your trauma and turn
Speaker 4: it into your trump.
Speaker 2: Come on, listen, listen, y'all, y'all should see my posture.
Speaker 2: I'm making that ugly face you make in church when
Speaker 2: the pastor is just dropping gems. And that that's another
Speaker 2: thing I want to say when you. When I was
Speaker 2: reading reading your new book, first of all, I want
Speaker 2: to say, I was reading it in your voice, because
Speaker 2: you have to. You got you gotta read it in
Speaker 2: his voice, in his manner asm. And then there's a
Speaker 2: portion in the book where I was like, oh, he preaching,
Speaker 2: and I read it. I was like, oh, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: take this, and I'm a hoop with a little bit.
Speaker 3: So I'm there you ready to go ahead and do it.
Speaker 2: So listen because then your book you say that no
Speaker 2: matter what happened to you, no matter who hurt you,
Speaker 2: no matter how you feel, I want you to know
Speaker 2: if this value is still in you, touch it ever,
Speaker 2: say same with sin. You a sin, it's.
Speaker 3: Genuine, send you, it's sending you, it's send you to me.
Speaker 3: It is in.
Speaker 2: You, and so thank you. I thought I went to
Speaker 2: enough therapy and I volunteer at a healing retreat. But again,
Speaker 2: damage but not destroyed definitely says sus. You need to
Speaker 2: unpack this, You need to process this. Now. Remember I
Speaker 2: said we got to read the book in your voice.
Speaker 2: Will there be an audiobook?
Speaker 4: There is already an audio book. It is done, it
Speaker 4: is finished. I gave you my whole thing. When I
Speaker 4: write a book or when I do something. I was
Speaker 4: never a big book reader when I was younger. I
Speaker 4: like to watch things. I like to see them. I
Speaker 4: like to visualize it. And as I got older and
Speaker 4: got into the professional pastoring and had to open businesses
Speaker 4: and do anything, reading is fundamental.
Speaker 3: You got to be able to read. So I started
Speaker 3: reading a lot more.
Speaker 4: But one of the things that I realized is that
Speaker 4: you can read in a way that it seems live like,
Speaker 4: it seems real.
Speaker 3: You can put the picture in people's mind.
Speaker 4: And so for anybody who's not a big reader, I'm
Speaker 4: telling you, when you read this book, like Michelle said,
Speaker 4: you'll see it. You'll hear me, You'll see it. It's vivid.
Speaker 4: I pull on cultural things to be able to bring
Speaker 4: your mind to where I'm at, and I think it's
Speaker 4: all important so that we can actually get the message.
Speaker 4: And I really do believe the message of my life
Speaker 4: is no matter how much you've been damaged, they're still
Speaker 4: value in you. I literally had somebody Michelle, give me
Speaker 4: a gift that was a regift. It was an expensive gift,
Speaker 4: but the box was jacked up and the wrapping paper
Speaker 4: was messed up. And the truth of the matter is
Speaker 4: is that no matter that the wrapping paper was ripped
Speaker 4: and the box was tattered, the value of that gift
Speaker 4: was in the content that was inside of it.
Speaker 3: And so many people.
Speaker 4: In this life, they've had their relationships ripped up, they've
Speaker 4: had their character scarred and marred.
Speaker 3: But the truth of the matter is who God's really
Speaker 3: created you to be.
Speaker 4: That essence of who you are is still good and
Speaker 4: is still valuable, And the price of the thing did
Speaker 4: not change because the box or the rapping was jacked up.
Speaker 4: You take those things out that God has placed on
Speaker 4: the inside of you, and you got to realize that
Speaker 4: the value is still in you. And that's my encouragement
Speaker 4: to people who've lost, who've gone through divorce, who've had
Speaker 4: bad relationships, who have not been able to see the
Speaker 4: success that they wanted to see. Yeah, you got some scratches,
Speaker 4: and you've got some ribs, and you've got some tatters,
Speaker 4: but I promise you who you really are, the most
Speaker 4: valuable part of you is still waiting for the world
Speaker 4: to see it. And if you would allow yourself to
Speaker 4: heal from some of the things that have happened, I promise.
Speaker 3: You you're gonna be able to help so many people.
Speaker 2: Listen, everything that you need is on the other side
Speaker 2: of your healing. We talked about loss. I wanted to
Speaker 2: ask you definitely how what you're saying can also apply
Speaker 2: to grief.
Speaker 3: But you kind.
Speaker 2: Of touched it a little bit.
Speaker 4: I'm touching it because I feel the audience that is
Speaker 4: listening to this, and I know that many people have
Speaker 4: lost things. I mean, we're coming we're three years removed
Speaker 4: from COVID, where that literally shifted the life of so
Speaker 4: many people, whether it was you lost an actual loved one,
Speaker 4: you lost business, you lost money, and that was a
Speaker 4: time for some people that they gained a lot, but
Speaker 4: they lost priority and they lost focus. So you got
Speaker 4: a bunch of money, but your children got lost in
Speaker 4: the mix of all of that stuff. A loss comes
Speaker 4: at a lot of different ways. The thing that you
Speaker 4: have to understand is the fact that you're still existing
Speaker 4: does not mean that you're actually thriving. And a lot
Speaker 4: of people I'm finding are existing, they're going through the oceans.
Speaker 4: They're doing what's necessary, but they're not actually living the
Speaker 4: life that I believe God intended for them to live.
Speaker 4: And that's why I think trauma makes you numb like
Speaker 4: that's what it does. It makes you not feel the
Speaker 4: things that you actually feel. And just think about a
Speaker 4: car accident. A lot of times when if you ever
Speaker 4: get in a car accident, and I pray nobody does,
Speaker 4: but if you've ever been in one, you can sometimes
Speaker 4: jump out of the car on adrenaline. You don't feel
Speaker 4: what's going on. Oh no, no, no, I'm fine. I'm fine,
Speaker 4: I'm fine. Everything is moving, but it's not until you
Speaker 4: sit still. It's not until you get into a relaxed position.
Speaker 4: It's not until the heightened moment passes that you actually
Speaker 4: start to feel what happened. And may I submit to
Speaker 4: us that many of us are so busy that we
Speaker 4: never let ourselves get in to the point where we
Speaker 4: can feel it. We stay so inebriated with being outside
Speaker 4: and going from event to event and being in relationship
Speaker 4: to relationship. You're in your third relationship in two years,
Speaker 4: and you never hear from the one before it, and
Speaker 4: so you're moving trash to another area that would have
Speaker 4: and could have been good, but you're taking the toxic
Speaker 4: into the next And God is saying to many people
Speaker 4: that are listening right now, could we just get rid
Speaker 4: of some of the weight, some of the damage. I'm
Speaker 4: not saying that it all got to change today, but
Speaker 4: let's go on a journey of dealing with this thing.
Speaker 4: And because of loss, many times people think that loss
Speaker 4: is the end. Loss is never the end. Loss gives
Speaker 4: you the opportunity to find a new beginning, Yes, sir,
Speaker 4: And a lot of times the greatest things in my
Speaker 4: life that I lost were literally the stages for the
Speaker 4: greatest revelations, changes and renewals in my life. But if
Speaker 4: you get stuck in the loss, that's when you lose.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 4: But I'm encouraging somebody that's listening to this right now,
Speaker 4: don't get stuck in the loss.
Speaker 3: Don't get stuck in who left. This is the season.
Speaker 4: Where God's saying I got more for you, and there's
Speaker 4: value still in what's ahead of you. And that's why
Speaker 4: your damage can no longer define you. But this damage
Speaker 4: can be the thing to push you to destiny. And
Speaker 4: I don't know, Michelle, somebody's pulling on me right now.
Speaker 4: But you are about to give up, You are about
Speaker 4: to stop, you are about to throw in the towel.
Speaker 4: And this podcast came on to let you know that
Speaker 4: there is more in you. That you are not at
Speaker 4: the end of your rope. You're actually at the beginning
Speaker 4: of your new life. This is a new season, this
Speaker 4: is a new day, and you may be damaged, but
Speaker 4: you are not destroyed.
Speaker 3: Destroyed I feel it.
Speaker 2: Pastor Mike Todd, one of the best communicators, motivators, encouraging
Speaker 2: men of God that this planet currently has right now,
Speaker 2: the courage to be honest, open and transparent. Everybody can't
Speaker 2: be that, and we need more of that in church.
Speaker 4: We got to have it in church. If we don't
Speaker 4: got it nowhere else, we got to have it in church.
Speaker 4: And that's why a lot of people are jacked up.
Speaker 2: But are we really ready? Because when someone is honest,
Speaker 2: open and transparent in church.
Speaker 3: It's wrong.
Speaker 2: It's like, well, what do you want? Do you want
Speaker 2: him to fake it?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: So the truth of the matter is when somebody is honest, transparent,
Speaker 4: and I want to even go a little a little
Speaker 4: further and say like violently vulnerable, Like I feel like
Speaker 4: I'm violently vulnerable, like I try to say it to
Speaker 4: the point where it moves something in you, like I
Speaker 4: want you to understand that this is what really happened.
Speaker 4: And when you are like that, what it does and
Speaker 4: why people fight against it is because it actually triggers
Speaker 4: something on the inside of them. It becomes a mirror
Speaker 4: and they're like, hold on, if they talking about that,
Speaker 4: that means I need to talk about that. Uh, let's
Speaker 4: talk about them instead of talk about me. And so
Speaker 4: that's where comments go. That's where people did you hear
Speaker 4: about such and such? All it is is deflection. All
Speaker 4: they're trying to do is make that came too close
Speaker 4: to an issue I might really have. That tame too
Speaker 4: close to what me and my family may have been
Speaker 4: dealing with. And so a lot of times the natural
Speaker 4: response the Bible says it like this, if you're going
Speaker 4: to point out the spec in your brother's eye, why
Speaker 4: don't you start by taking the log out of your
Speaker 4: own eye. And it's very hard because I don't want
Speaker 4: to deal with this log, but I do want to
Speaker 4: talk about the dust that's over there, and that if
Speaker 4: it keeps it off of you.
Speaker 2: Listen, First of all, thank you for the encouragement that
Speaker 2: you gave every listener. Heck, me and the producers that
Speaker 2: are sitting on here, thank you for what you just
Speaker 2: imparted into us. I want to ask you this question
Speaker 2: and I want to hold you. Of course, we've got
Speaker 2: to ask you relationship questions, but.
Speaker 3: Mom, I'm here for you. Well, I'm here whatever you need.
Speaker 2: It's something that you were saying about how we don't
Speaker 2: like to deal with our own stuff, but yet we will.
Speaker 2: We'll talk about what everybody else is going through and
Speaker 2: to make us feel better. I wanted to ask you
Speaker 2: about anger and judgment. Yeah, when you are angry, why
Speaker 2: does it seem so easy to go into judgment of
Speaker 2: others their situation and that judgment turns right back around
Speaker 2: and it hits your house.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: The truth of the matter is anger is a secondary
Speaker 4: emotion and it's an easy one. And when I say
Speaker 4: a secondary emotion, it's like, usually anger is the thing
Speaker 4: that I feel after I feel something real, like I
Speaker 4: feel neglected, and so I get angry or I feel
Speaker 4: I feel devalued, so I get angry. And a lot
Speaker 4: of people have tapped into anger because an anger. Studies
Speaker 4: show that anger is an easy emotion to tap into
Speaker 4: when you don't understand, even as a child. So you
Speaker 4: might not understand why your mom left, but it made
Speaker 4: you angry. You might not have understood why y'all don't
Speaker 4: have food, but it made you angry. You might not
Speaker 4: understood why they're picking on you for wearing that name brand,
Speaker 4: but it made you angry. And so anger becomes an
Speaker 4: ally for many people from a young age. And so
Speaker 4: when anger is your ally, what happens is you talk
Speaker 4: to the people you know the most because you with
Speaker 4: them the most. And so if anger is the thing
Speaker 4: that you've been with since you were five years old
Speaker 4: the most, even when you don't even want to go
Speaker 4: to that emotion, it's the quickest one that comes up.
Speaker 4: And so a lot of people have to actually tell
Speaker 4: anger that they are no longer best friends. We're going
Speaker 4: to have to search for a different emotion to be
Speaker 4: able to express what's going on, because when you get
Speaker 4: into anger, a lot of things happen in anger that
Speaker 4: you don't even really mean. Come on, everybody, listen, When
Speaker 4: you get angry, you say some stupid stuff, you do,
Speaker 4: some stupid stuff you done, broke stuff that's your own,
Speaker 4: stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Why we create more damage And this is my aunt
Speaker 3: I'm gonna have to pay for you.
Speaker 4: Don't punch the hole in your own wall, Like, what
Speaker 4: in the what kind of sense do that make?
Speaker 3: But the truth of the matter, I'd rather punch.
Speaker 2: And then punch and punch my girl. Man, you over
Speaker 2: ready to push the hole in the wall, bro.
Speaker 4: But the truth of the matter is that for especially
Speaker 4: for men that that has been an ally from adolescents,
Speaker 4: and if anger has been your ally from adolescence, it's
Speaker 4: going to turn into something that nobody needs to be
Speaker 4: walking in rage because when you get into rage, you
Speaker 4: don't understand why you do what you're doing.
Speaker 3: You're just doing things and that's where it switches.
Speaker 4: And so a lot of times when you get anger
Speaker 4: as an ally from adolescence, it means that if I'm
Speaker 4: not gonna physically act this out, I have to judge
Speaker 4: everybody that's around me. I have to I have to
Speaker 4: show them and tell them, and even if I don't
Speaker 4: say it out loud, I have to have secret things
Speaker 4: of what I feel about them because it makes me
Speaker 4: feel better about myself. And this is why I'm saying,
Speaker 4: especially to men out there, man, yo, we are destroying
Speaker 4: families because we are not actually dealing with our issues.
Speaker 4: It hurts us and we have been told that we
Speaker 4: cannot express those emotions and we've only been given applause
Speaker 4: when we do it one way. And I'm telling you
Speaker 4: anger is not the way to do this. We need counseling,
Speaker 4: we need therapy, we need community, we need to talk
Speaker 4: to each other, we need to ask ourselves real questions
Speaker 4: because we're out here putting families together that many times
Speaker 4: we're not in because of our issues. And at the
Speaker 4: same time, we're the only ones that can fully heal
Speaker 4: what's been going on in this world. And this is
Speaker 4: what I say to people. What's not transformed in you
Speaker 4: is transferred. So everything you won't deal with. The Bible
Speaker 4: talks about it visiting the generations, and we've seen it.
Speaker 4: Some of us are angry, but it's because our big
Speaker 4: mama was angry and our uncle was angry, and that
Speaker 4: stuff just passes down.
Speaker 3: And so I'm just encouraging everybody.
Speaker 4: If you cannot find within yourself to do your work
Speaker 4: for you, at least do it for them children that
Speaker 4: you love. At least do it for that next generation
Speaker 4: who's watching you. Because the pattern is being repeated if
Speaker 4: we do not deal with our data.
Speaker 2: One you actually said transformed instead of what's not transform
Speaker 2: is transferred. That was actually something that I was supposed
Speaker 2: to get to, and you hit the nail on the head.
Speaker 2: That's why I know this conversation is spirit led. I'm
Speaker 2: so sociad so this is real, so so excited. What
Speaker 2: are your thoughts on what's not transformed can be transferred?
Speaker 2: I'm assuming your meaning. So what's not transformed in me?
Speaker 2: If I go and have children, can I transfer to
Speaker 2: them based on how I respond to when life?
Speaker 4: Yes, So this is I have four kids, and the
Speaker 4: one thing I can't do with my four kids is hide.
Speaker 4: I can't hide. They're with me all the time. They
Speaker 4: might be as but they see when I'm angry, they
Speaker 4: see when I'm happy. They see I'll respond in hard times,
Speaker 4: and they see how I respond in happy times. The
Speaker 4: truth of the matter is, if you want to know
Speaker 4: who you really are, ask your kids. I mean, the
Speaker 4: truth of the matter is you know your mama better
Speaker 4: than your mama. Probably know your mama like because like
Speaker 4: they think, they are responding yourself. I was good to you,
Speaker 4: I was like mama, you was mean every time you
Speaker 4: came home after word you was mean, and they don't
Speaker 4: want to hear that. And then they start saying stuff
Speaker 4: like you're not going to disrespect me, and they start
Speaker 4: doing all of these things that are generational patterns that
Speaker 4: once I said, so all that stuff is dumb. It's
Speaker 4: all things that you do when you have a little
Speaker 4: language of emotion, when you do not have a large
Speaker 4: vocabulary emotionally, you say stuff to make people shut down.
Speaker 4: And a lot of times, you think, especially in black households,
Speaker 4: a lot of the language we were told was shut
Speaker 4: down language, shut up before I give you something to
Speaker 4: cry about, you ain't really ain't never. I had no
Speaker 4: problem like literally minimizing whatever is real to you at
Speaker 4: that moment, which teaches you to not deal with real
Speaker 4: issues like and so the truth of the matter is,
Speaker 4: in my living, I am teaching my children how to live,
Speaker 4: whether I say it directly or indirectly. And so if
Speaker 4: every time I'm faced with the hard situation between me
Speaker 4: and their mama, I leave the house, they're learning when something.
Speaker 3: Gets hard, relationally dip like. That's what they're learning.
Speaker 4: And don't matter if I tell them no, you stay
Speaker 4: and you work it out you dah da da da.
Speaker 3: They're going to do what they see.
Speaker 4: So what is what's not transformed in me will be
Speaker 4: transferred into them. I cannot be surprised when my daughter's
Speaker 4: in her relationship and she show up in my house.
Speaker 3: Daddy, I left hold on you married? Why did you leave?
Speaker 3: I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't Da
Speaker 3: da da.
Speaker 4: And the truth of the matter was she really just
Speaker 4: that I saw you do that with Mammy, and people
Speaker 4: don't have that real conversation. And so that's the That's
Speaker 4: the thing that I really want people to understand. Like
Speaker 4: you affect everybody around you when you act like it
Speaker 4: doesn't affect you. I'm gonna say it one more time.
Speaker 4: You affect everyone around you when you act like it
Speaker 4: doesn't affect you.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, me.
Speaker 4: And you actually deal with whatever affects you. It has
Speaker 4: a ripple effect. And I talk about that in the book,
Speaker 4: like good things can happen and ripple out to be
Speaker 4: able to help so many people if you actually deal
Speaker 4: with what hurts you or what what hindered you, or
Speaker 4: what made you like like want to stop. Like when
Speaker 4: you do that, you gonna you ain't even met yourself.
Speaker 4: You don't even know you yet, Like I'm telling you,
Speaker 4: it'll change your whole life.
Speaker 3: You know, when you.
Speaker 2: Can have the heart conversations with yourself and have the
Speaker 2: hard conversations with each other.
Speaker 3: Yikes.
Speaker 2: In your book you mentioned I don't want to give
Speaker 2: everything away, but there was something going on in your
Speaker 2: family with one of your precious children. And you know
Speaker 2: your wife, missus Natalie, She's telling you one thing and
Speaker 2: you're like, no, I'm good. But it's like you had
Speaker 2: to go.
Speaker 3: Let's go, Let's go and say it. Let's go and
Speaker 3: say I was.
Speaker 2: I was just saying how you had to go get
Speaker 2: some self awareness to be like, my bad, I was wrong.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I was arrogant. This is the truth, yes,
Speaker 3: and then be When you can do.
Speaker 2: That, you can go to that person and have a
Speaker 2: hard conversation.
Speaker 3: And that's the thing. Humility starts all of this.
Speaker 4: And most people will never reach purpose, not because of
Speaker 4: their performance.
Speaker 3: It'll be because of their pride.
Speaker 4: Like like most people won't reach their God given purpose,
Speaker 4: not because they couldn't produce whatever it is, it's because
Speaker 4: of pride. They will not allow anybody else to speak
Speaker 4: into their life. You see me now, and I don't
Speaker 4: see myself. And if I had something on my face
Speaker 4: right now and you saw it, but I'm.
Speaker 3: Denying that it's there.
Speaker 4: That level of delusion keeps me from destiny. And that's
Speaker 4: what a lot of people do in their own lives.
Speaker 4: They don't allow anybody to speak because you younger than me,
Speaker 4: you older than me, you ain't got as much money
Speaker 4: as me, and all this other stuff. And one thing
Speaker 4: that I found out is that if I'm going to
Speaker 4: be healed, I have to be humble. Like it's like
Speaker 4: healing takes humility, and that is where I think a
Speaker 4: lot of us have to like stop the cart and
Speaker 4: really recognize, like not this fake humble thing that people
Speaker 4: talk about, Like I'm talking about, can somebody lovingly tell
Speaker 4: you that you're mean and you actually evaluated? Can somebody
Speaker 4: tell you that lovingly. I'm not talking about going off
Speaker 4: on you or anything like, but lovingly say like you
Speaker 4: run away every time it gets hard and you like
Speaker 4: what you mean, or run away like matter of fact,
Speaker 4: I gotta go. I got a trip to Atlanta. It's like,
Speaker 4: see right there, I got you're running away right now.
Speaker 2: You're giving us a lesson.
Speaker 3: I want this conversation. This is good, I'm not the way.
Speaker 2: And the tone that you're saying, Hey, you're mean.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're hey, And tone is everything. Tone is everything.
Speaker 4: If you don't want somebody to hear you go off,
Speaker 4: like defenses come up immediately, like the way that you
Speaker 4: approach it, it allows them to have an excuse to
Speaker 4: not deal with the real issue, because you become the issue. Now,
Speaker 4: I need everybody to understand that. A lot of times
Speaker 4: we want to help somebody, the best thing you can
Speaker 4: do is not become an issue trying to help them
Speaker 4: with their issue. And tone is a big part of that.
Speaker 4: And that's why, again, it's hard to help somebody when
Speaker 4: you haven't helped yourself because the only reason I can
Speaker 4: have that tone is because I've had to have empathy
Speaker 4: because I've gone through it, and I know somebody has
Speaker 4: had to say to me, hey, you're not listening. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 4: I hear what you're saying. I understand it, but you're
Speaker 4: not listening. Like and it's like, what you mean, I'm
Speaker 4: not listening, I'm not here.
Speaker 3: I hear you.
Speaker 4: No, you're hearing me, but you're not listening to what
Speaker 4: I'm saying. And so now, oh, oh, he did something.
Speaker 2: Go on listening.
Speaker 3: Those are two totally different things.
Speaker 4: Right now, even as I'm here, there's some people outside
Speaker 4: working on different things. I hear them, but I'm not
Speaker 4: listening to them. I'm listening to you. Like I hear
Speaker 4: a lot of noise, but I'm listening. My listening is
Speaker 4: where I'm focused. And a lot of times when we're
Speaker 4: in specially heated discussions or discussions that have to do
Speaker 4: with the soul and our real emotions, we're not listening anymore.
Speaker 4: We're just hearing. And until you start listening, you'll never
Speaker 4: actually be led to a place of healing. And so
Speaker 4: for me, the reason why I come at stuff a
Speaker 4: certain way is because I know what it is to
Speaker 4: have to deal with issues and have my wife or
Speaker 4: my friend or people I pay. Let me just say this,
Speaker 4: it doesn't matter where it comes from. If it's good
Speaker 4: for you, it needs to be received. And that's why
Speaker 4: I said this, whole healing journey starts with humility. This
Speaker 4: is the only reason I was able to write damage
Speaker 4: but not destroyed. It's because I had to humble myself.
Speaker 4: And the Bible says it like this. It says you're
Speaker 4: either going to humble yourself or you will be humbled.
Speaker 4: It's gonna happen either one way or another. And before
Speaker 4: I was humbled, and before I had to to take
Speaker 4: losses that were unnecessary, I said, let me do this work,
Speaker 4: let me start talking to somebody, let me journal a
Speaker 4: little bit. Let me and for me, like journaling is
Speaker 4: not a thing, and for a lot of guys it's
Speaker 4: like I don't sit down in journal. So what I did,
Speaker 4: I voiced journal. I would just start my phone on
Speaker 4: the notes app and I would say today, I feel
Speaker 4: like crap. I feel like nobody's for me. And I
Speaker 4: really don't want to go to counseling. I don't want
Speaker 4: to deal with this situation, but I know I need
Speaker 4: to talk about it. And I really want my wife
Speaker 4: to have sex with me tonight, but we've been in
Speaker 4: an argument, so like I don't know if that's going.
Speaker 4: Like I was just being honest with myself, honest with
Speaker 4: where I was at. And the thing that I tell
Speaker 4: people all the time, this journey in life is about progression,
Speaker 4: not perfection.
Speaker 3: So many people are trying to leave this perfect life.
Speaker 4: It's impossible you live in this world with all of
Speaker 4: its issues, in troubles.
Speaker 3: What you need is.
Speaker 4: To just make a step forward, progression over perfection every
Speaker 4: single day. And so as you do that, that's how
Speaker 4: you go from your trauma to triumph. That's how you
Speaker 4: turn your damage into destiny. Not one miracle, it's one
Speaker 4: step out of time. And that's why in this book,
Speaker 4: I want to be your coach, Like I have gone
Speaker 4: through it, and I got the scars and they have
Speaker 4: healed now and now I can point to them and say,
Speaker 4: you see this. This is why you do this in community,
Speaker 4: because when you isolate and through it alone, that's where
Speaker 4: you can get your a whooped. Like that's like like,
Speaker 4: that's where I want to show you so that you
Speaker 4: can be able to walk this out because I believe
Speaker 4: there's so much value still in everybody listening.
Speaker 2: And I feel listen, it says it's in you. It's
Speaker 2: in you, and y'all, y'all are so going to enjoy
Speaker 2: the visuals and the diagram of even that of the
Speaker 2: value being in you. And I believe pastor Mike type
Speaker 2: because you are on the journey of healing, it's it
Speaker 2: might be a lifelong thing.
Speaker 3: It don't stop, don't stop it, don't stop.
Speaker 2: You know it does not stop. But being an emotionally intune,
Speaker 2: emotionally healthy pastor, I can only imagine and get excited
Speaker 2: to visit your church one day to see all the
Speaker 2: all the emotionally healthy people, all the people that are
Speaker 2: starting to get emotionally healthy because of what you are
Speaker 2: willing to talk about. I feel like you're like, ain't
Speaker 2: no need of us doing all this shouting and praising?
Speaker 2: If you what now? Now? You sound like your brother
Speaker 2: mentor Tim Ross?
Speaker 3: That was the first what yeah? Were we?
Speaker 4: We we don't need just to do something so we
Speaker 4: need more deodorant. We need to deal with our damage
Speaker 4: so we can get to destiny.
Speaker 3: Do you hear me?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 2: Well, I I am just super super super excited for
Speaker 2: everybody to hear this podcast. I am super I want
Speaker 2: one hundred people that listen to this podcast. I want
Speaker 2: you to d m me so that I can send
Speaker 2: you damaged but not destroys.
Speaker 4: No, Moseelle, all you're going to do is all you're
Speaker 4: gonna do.
Speaker 2: Now, let me let me tell you. If you're listening,
Speaker 2: you're gonna d m me damaged but not destroyed. You're
Speaker 2: also gonna dm me your name and the maling address.
Speaker 2: When you do that, that lets me know you listen
Speaker 2: to this episode, So the first one hundred people that
Speaker 2: do that, because we are about healing forever. I know
Speaker 2: what the healing power of Jesus Christ has done in
Speaker 2: my life. I know what it's doing in the relationships,
Speaker 2: business and personally. And I have I Like I said,
Speaker 2: even me reading his book said you need to unpack
Speaker 2: this a little more. You need to you need to
Speaker 2: unpack this a little more. And uh, pastor Mike to
Speaker 2: thank you. It just seems like you have fun in
Speaker 2: everything you Oh.
Speaker 3: That's it. We got to. We got to.
Speaker 4: I believe that life is to be enjoyed, not endured,
Speaker 4: and I believe that the freedom in Christ allows you
Speaker 4: to do that. So that that means you can't listen
Speaker 4: to a bunch of people because they think it's different.
Speaker 4: But I am grateful for you. You are a blessing. You
Speaker 4: are helping so many people right now be able to
Speaker 4: just approach their healing journey. And it's because of your personality,
Speaker 4: your words, you using your platform. It really is refreshing
Speaker 4: to see people actually use what God's given them to
Speaker 4: help people and not just throwing money at it.
Speaker 3: Or just throwing.
Speaker 4: An endorsement, like you're actually in here doing the hard
Speaker 4: work and helping people. And I just want to say
Speaker 4: thank you on behalf of all the people that won't
Speaker 4: be able to be on the podcast, which I want
Speaker 4: to say, thank you. Your value is great to our
Speaker 4: world and we really appreciate the work that you do.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. And let me tell y'all I'm
Speaker 2: excited his book is out right now. His book is
Speaker 2: out now today October third, Tuesday. It is out, so
Speaker 2: number one hundred people that's gonna hit me. But this
Speaker 2: book we're gonna add to themselves.
Speaker 3: Let's go to be a another.
Speaker 2: New York Times bestseller. I'm so happy that the timing
Speaker 2: of this conversation could take place for the release date
Speaker 2: of your book Damage, but not.
Speaker 4: This Hey, Michelle. Yeah, let me say one thing. Every
Speaker 4: black male needs this book. Yes, And I want to
Speaker 4: say I want to say this as well, because I
Speaker 4: know my ladies they gonna already go, y'all are y'all
Speaker 4: are next level when it comes to like emotions. Oh,
Speaker 4: we're gonna get better. Oh y'all gonna already do it.
Speaker 4: My request for all the listeners the back of this
Speaker 4: book is the coolest part. And you can't see it
Speaker 4: right now, but but but this is this is a picture.
Speaker 4: If you see the book, it's a picture of three
Speaker 4: generations of Todd men. It's my dad's face, my four
Speaker 4: brothers face, my face, and my son's face, and and
Speaker 4: and it looks like me. But it's all of us together,
Speaker 4: which you look like you, But you're the sum of
Speaker 4: all the people that have ever affected you. And there
Speaker 4: are so many men who need the puzzle pieces of
Speaker 4: their life put back together and need to deal with
Speaker 4: their trauma. So if you're listening to this and you
Speaker 4: are a man, or you love a man, you got
Speaker 4: a young boy, you got a high school student, you
Speaker 4: got a college student, your baby, daddy, whatever, you need
Speaker 4: to get this book because it's gonna help them be
Speaker 4: able to at least start seeing the value in trying
Speaker 4: to deal with some of the things that happen to them.
Speaker 4: And I believe when the men and women get their
Speaker 4: health emotionally and spiritually right, it's gonna change everything in
Speaker 4: your family, in your community, and in your world. Michelle,
Speaker 4: I love you, Dammage been not destroyed. Y'all are the
Speaker 4: best ever. Thank y'all, let's go.
Speaker 2: Okay, listen, I mean, what do you say? What do
Speaker 2: you say?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 2: I hope to the person that feels like you've done
Speaker 2: too much wrong or that you've sabotaged every good thing
Speaker 2: in your life, that you are encouraged to know that
Speaker 2: it's not too late. The folks that sit on these
Speaker 2: platforms as pastors, or even me with the podcast, and
Speaker 2: who authored a book, you know, who's had gospel albums
Speaker 2: out just I hope that you could hear our hearts
Speaker 2: as far as the healing journeys and knowing that nobody
Speaker 2: escapes trauma. I'm sorry, nobody is immune to Now there
Speaker 2: are some people in my life who say, Michelle, I've honestly,
Speaker 2: I've had a great childhood. My parents were awesome. They
Speaker 2: taught us how to be loving, They taught us how
Speaker 2: to be emotionally healthy, and they instilled that in us.
Speaker 2: So I do not want to minimize that. There are
Speaker 2: some people who actually have that testimony. Yes, that's a testimony,
Speaker 2: that is a testimony. But there are some folks who
Speaker 2: have endured some abuse, some trauma, some neglect, some abandonments,
Speaker 2: some betrayal, lost. You are trying to find your way.
Speaker 2: So just want you to know that we hear you,
Speaker 2: we see you, and we feel you. That's why I
Speaker 2: passed for Mike Todd. Had to take a moment to
Speaker 2: speak in to the person's listening who might feel like
Speaker 2: you're too far gone, that too much has happened to you.
Speaker 2: Or maybe you're one who's made up team mistake after
Speaker 2: mistake after mistake, and I'm telling you you can go
Speaker 2: from trauma to triumph. All right, There's nothing you can
Speaker 2: do that separates you from God's love. Okay, all right,
Speaker 2: I love y'all.
Speaker 1: Checking In with Michelle Williams is a production of iHeart
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