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Speaker 1: There were times on Twisted Metal where they were like,

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Speaker 1: do you want to and I'd be like, Nope, that's okay, Nope,

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Speaker 1: absolutely stunts uple in that car that's driving seventy miles

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Speaker 1: an hour right at a wall. I'm good, I'm okay.

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Speaker 2: That's not something I need to try to do.

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Speaker 1: That's something I need to do. That's not something I

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Speaker 1: need to do. I'm not straight at a wall. Around

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Speaker 1: a wall, sure like through a tounn of old fire. Yes,

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Speaker 1: let's do it. Like yeah. There were things that I

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Speaker 1: was just like, no, I'm not going to do that,

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Speaker 1: and they'd be like.

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Speaker 3: Okay, more, more and more better, more and better, a

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Speaker 3: little more better.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to More Better. A podcast where we stop pretending

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Speaker 2: to have it all together and embrace the journey of

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Speaker 2: becoming a little more better every day, or.

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Speaker 1: At least trying to.

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Speaker 2: That's most of Pumaro, and that's Stephanie Beatrice and here

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Speaker 2: we are.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Let me just say today, I am embracing the journey

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Speaker 1: of not having it all together. I am struggling today.

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Speaker 1: We woke up five times maybe last night. Ross it's

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Speaker 1: very excited about her day. She and Brad are going

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Speaker 1: skiing today. Here we're doing this and she was so

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Speaker 1: it was like Christmas. I don't know, man, it sucked.

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Speaker 1: At one point, all the stereo, the stereo system in

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Speaker 1: our house started playing a song like randomly. It was

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Speaker 1: very It was a weird night. I feel like my

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Speaker 1: ancestors were like very scared that she was going skiing

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Speaker 1: because why people don't see my particular family. The Colombians

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Speaker 1: don't ski. The Bolivians might, but like, I know you

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Speaker 1: grew up skiing.

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Speaker 2: I did. I mean I started late. I started in

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Speaker 2: high school, but yeah, I mean I loved it, and

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Speaker 2: i've you know, I stopped when I got injured. But

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Speaker 2: now that my kids are starting to get into it,

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Speaker 2: Waxl hasn't started yet, but I'm like, yeah, if Axel starts,

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Speaker 2: like I might throw some skis back on because I

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Speaker 2: don't want to be a mad fomo, but skiing is,

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Speaker 2: and I you know, as much as I've joked, when

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Speaker 2: I got injured, I was like, fuck this sport. It's

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Speaker 2: so expensive, you got pull this shit on. Why am

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Speaker 2: I doing this? It's so much work. The feeling when

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Speaker 2: you're going down a hill and it's like crispy cold

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Speaker 2: and it's quiet and you hear just the like.

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Speaker 1: Sh sh, you're really selling me on it. This is sexy.

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Speaker 2: I like it.

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Speaker 1: It is a level of.

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Speaker 2: Peace that is hard to replicate in other ways.

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Speaker 1: Can I be assured that I won't fall? Can I

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Speaker 1: be assured that I won't blow a knee out? Can

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Speaker 1: I be assured that I won't you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: This is a problem. Is the problem. You sell me

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Speaker 1: the trailer and I'm playing the whole movie through on

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Speaker 1: my mind, and I'm like, I'm fucking gonna eat shit.

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Speaker 1: I'd be cold, a hill, hungry and alone.

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Speaker 2: No, you naked frame might I What happened to me

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Speaker 2: was I was skiing on the East Coast and I

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Speaker 2: caught an icy edge, which is what flung me. And

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Speaker 2: I also was going too fast too soon and just

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Speaker 2: what it because I hadn't skied in a while and whatever,

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Speaker 2: and it was like yeah, yeah, I was like him

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Speaker 2: so good at this. I was also like trying to

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Speaker 2: go faster than David and like, you know, being stupidly competitive.

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Speaker 2: But what I will also say is West Coast snow is,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, infinitely more soft than there is coast snow. Yes,

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Speaker 2: like David, every time I've thought about like getting back

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Speaker 2: on skis. He's like, you learned how to ski on

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Speaker 2: like hard icy snow, like, which is what is on

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Speaker 2: the East Coast. He was like, out here, it's like

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Speaker 2: the only time you really experience it on the East

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Speaker 2: Coast is when it's fresh snow, it's freshly dumped. How

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Speaker 2: come it's snow like that all the time?

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Speaker 1: People of the coast. How come the snow is like

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Speaker 1: a metaphor for the people of each coasts?

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Speaker 2: Never thought about it. It's so true.

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Speaker 1: The West Coast snow is soft. The East Coast snow

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Speaker 1: only when it's fresh is it's soft. But then it

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Speaker 1: gets hard as it gets older.

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Speaker 2: Fuck because you just don't have as much humidity too,

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Speaker 2: so like you can't first time I was I experienced

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Speaker 2: West Coast snow, I was like, why the fuck can

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Speaker 2: I make a snowball? It just falls apart. You can't

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Speaker 2: like pack the snow, it just crumbles. You can't make us.

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Speaker 2: It's hard to make a snowman. It's hard to make.

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Speaker 2: You can make snowballs better with those like apparatuses that

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Speaker 2: people use for some reason, but like just with your hands,

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Speaker 2: it's really hard to like pack West Coast snow. It's

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Speaker 2: very it's very soft.

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Speaker 1: Very metaphor, like we got to get off this project.

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Speaker 4: Now.

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Speaker 1: I'm like feeling bad about myself. I'll tell you what.

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Speaker 1: I don't know why, but like I just I kept

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Speaker 1: having this feeling of like my my, My ancestors are like, oh,

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Speaker 1: what are you doing? Let her go do this because

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Speaker 1: it's dangerous. But I had to keep like saying out loud,

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Speaker 1: like it's gonna be fine.

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Speaker 2: She's it's gonna be fine, she's gonna have a great.

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Speaker 1: Like they're gonna also dig around skis and throw it

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Speaker 1: down a black diamond or something. It's no you know.

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Speaker 2: They take it, Yeah, they take it super slow. And

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Speaker 2: also like kids falling are is very adult, very different

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Speaker 2: than adults falling. Like they're lelly, they're belly jelly, they're yeah,

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Speaker 2: they have so much cartilage, Like they're so low to

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Speaker 2: the ground already, you know what I mean, So like

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Speaker 2: they're not so yeah, she might fall, but it's also

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Speaker 2: like it's one of those things too, where like she's

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Speaker 2: gonna fall and she might even get a little scared,

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Speaker 2: and then she's gonna get back up and then she's

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Speaker 2: gonna do it. And so like she's gonna build some

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Speaker 2: like great and resist since today. Yes, any opportunity a

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Speaker 2: kid gets to practice that is wonderful.

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Speaker 1: I if I had gone, I would have been in

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Speaker 1: the lodge with a little hot hot mugga ginger tea.

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Speaker 1: In my book currently reading, Never was Stle at Night.

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Speaker 1: Very good. Oh, an indigenous dark fiction anthology. It's like scary,

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Speaker 1: creepy stories. I love it. Okay, that would have been me.

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Speaker 1: I would not be out there. You couldn't pay me,

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Speaker 1: you could film me. I would do it if there

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Speaker 1: was camera. Yeah, assurance, y'all pay me. I'm getting all

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Speaker 1: those skis, honey.

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Speaker 2: But watch out.

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Speaker 1: Wait before we do our topic, what's your more better

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Speaker 1: this week?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, my more better this week? Oh wait, I

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Speaker 2: had it and then I just forgot.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh oh, I should write mine down to.

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Speaker 2: The opposite of what our topic kind of is is.

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Speaker 2: I've been saying yes lately to a few more things,

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Speaker 2: which caused me to go out three nights in a

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Speaker 2: row this past weekend. Girl. You know you know how

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Speaker 2: rare that is for the marrow. Okay. We went to

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Speaker 2: Sherry Cola's lunar New Year party and I learned how

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Speaker 2: to play it was fun. It was really fun. I

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Speaker 2: learned how to play some majong and it was I've

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Speaker 2: always wanted to learn how to play. I wouldn't say

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Speaker 2: that I fully know how to play, but I think

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Speaker 2: I get the basics. And it was fun and it

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Speaker 2: was really so funny. She's so cool. She's so funny

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Speaker 2: and smart. It was great to see her and it

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Speaker 2: was great to meet a bunch of other people there.

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Speaker 2: And then Friday night, I went to go see Lizzo

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Speaker 2: at Blue Note, the new Blue Note in La which

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Speaker 2: in La Blue Note great date night. They did a daily,

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Speaker 2: beautiful job with the space. The food was great. They

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Speaker 2: had shows all the time, and the shows are not

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Speaker 2: long because they do like multiple shows a night, like

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Speaker 2: she was doing two shows that night, so the show

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Speaker 2: was maybe like a little more than an hour.

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Speaker 1: It was perfect.

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Speaker 2: It was so great. And then went to go see

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Speaker 2: Angela Johnson's show on Saturday, which was super fun. Her

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Speaker 2: new special might be out by the time this episode

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Speaker 2: comes out, so check it out on YouTube. And yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's really cool to see her comedy like evolve and

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Speaker 2: you know, she's making jokes about like just being a

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Speaker 2: little older and being a mom and you know, stuff

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Speaker 2: that like was never in any of her earlier stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I think that that's really cool to watch in

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Speaker 2: an artist like the you know, I'm just so impressed

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Speaker 2: with the continued ability to make jokes as your life

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Speaker 2: dramatically changes as the older I think that that's a

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Speaker 2: rare skill. Yeah. So, but I was tired. I'm not

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Speaker 2: seeing anybody this week. I get it, I get it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: what's her more better?

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Speaker 1: Mine? More better?

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Speaker 2: Is?

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Speaker 1: I laughed a lot. Jenna came into town and we

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Speaker 1: had like a I didn't tell anybody that she was

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Speaker 1: going to be here. I was like, I want all

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Speaker 1: the myself.

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Speaker 2: I secretly knew that she was coming, Yeah you did.

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Speaker 1: And she gave me, Guys, she gave me this incredible

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Speaker 1: gift of basically a scrap book that she made that

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Speaker 1: had pages of every page was a different friend talking

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Speaker 1: about like how much they loved me and appreciate me,

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Speaker 1: and it just made me feel really really loved and like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just I think I've had like a very lonely

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Speaker 1: kind of couple years after Ross was born. It can

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Speaker 1: be very hard the adjustment to motherhood, and like it

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Speaker 1: was just an amazing I mean, I ball, Like I

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Speaker 1: cried so much. I loved your message. It was so beautiful,

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Speaker 1: and like she found this picture, she found a picture

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Speaker 1: of us. It was like from the first TCAs.

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Speaker 2: She was like, I think I said that picture he goes.

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Speaker 1: She was like, there were so many pictures of you guys,

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Speaker 1: but like I just love this one because it was

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Speaker 1: like the beginning of your friendship. And I was like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: there were so many messages in there. And then we

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Speaker 1: just spent like the first night she got here, we

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Speaker 1: just laughed and laughed and laughed. The second night, we

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Speaker 1: went to a hotel and we just we just I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's when the two of us are together, it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, you just there's certain people in your life

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Speaker 1: where you're absolutely making the same jokes and you're laughing

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Speaker 1: so hard that like you're afraid you're going to your

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Speaker 1: pants a little bit. Yeah, yeah, it was great. It

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Speaker 1: was just great. So that was my more better I did,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'd say, Like, my more better is

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Speaker 1: that I did that for myself, Like I I made

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Speaker 1: the time to spend with a friend, just the two

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Speaker 1: of us, because like oftentimes I feel like I have

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Speaker 1: to share my friends, like I have to be like

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Speaker 1: everyone be together and like let's all be together, and

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Speaker 1: like selfishly, I was just like I just want Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and yet that time.

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Speaker 2: Like where you know what you needed, what you and

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Speaker 2: your soul needed to like fill your cup, and it's

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Speaker 2: really important that you did that for yourself. Good for you,

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Speaker 2: Thank you. Yeah, I'm so glad you guys had a

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Speaker 2: good time.

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Speaker 1: It was amazing. It was amazing. I'll tell you more.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell any more, but it's not podcasts appropriate.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I can't wait.

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Speaker 1: More.

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Speaker 3: Better.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So today we're talking about saying no. We're finally

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Speaker 1: getting into it. Sorry for our jib jabber, that's why

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Speaker 1: you're here, be for real. What's your sort of experience

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Speaker 1: with saying no and like having to slash wanting to

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Speaker 1: slash all of it.

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Speaker 2: I think it's something I've definitely gotten better at as

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Speaker 2: i've gotten older and definitely struggled with a lot as

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Speaker 2: a younger person. Yeah, I think that I had a

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Speaker 2: lot of like strong people pleasing tendencies when I was younger.

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Speaker 2: I think I had the feeling of obligation, like we'll

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Speaker 2: talk more about that, but I think like that was

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Speaker 2: has been a trickier one to navigate, like, especially when

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Speaker 2: it comes to family and feeling like trying to yeah,

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Speaker 2: feel okay with saying like I'm allowed to say no.

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Speaker 2: I don't have to say yes to every single thing

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Speaker 2: just because of X, Y and Z. But it's hard.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I still it still can be a struggle,

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Speaker 2: you know. Like I mean, before we started recording, you

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Speaker 2: asked me if I was going to any oscar parties

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Speaker 2: and I said one that I was invited to, and

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Speaker 2: I but I'm going away for a birthday weekend that weekend,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I could fly back earlier.

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Speaker 2: I was like trying to do all these things because

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Speaker 2: I was like right, Like I was like, it's a

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Speaker 2: good party, it's good visibility, it's maybe it's get for

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Speaker 2: my career, Like, eh, I should go because not everyone

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Speaker 2: gets invited to this like obligation. And I was just

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Speaker 2: like I know I'm going to be that day like

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Speaker 2: forcing it and like rallying and you know, and then

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Speaker 2: why am I going to take time out of this

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Speaker 2: Like weekend I'm looking forward to with friends for my

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Speaker 2: friend's birthday and my husband will have been with the

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Speaker 2: kids all weekend and I'm gonna be like put on

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Speaker 2: a text like you know, are going out at nine pm?

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Speaker 1: Jesus.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And it took me a couple of days and

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Speaker 2: then finally I just said no, and it was like

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Speaker 2: instant relief, you know. And I was like, it's fine.

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Speaker 2: You're not going to like not get a job because

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Speaker 2: you didn't go to a party.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: No, I mean it's so it's like a weird thing

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Speaker 2: we tell ourselves of missing.

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Speaker 1: Out, Yeah, the fear of like somehow if I'm not

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Speaker 1: at every single thing, like I don't. I remember when

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Speaker 1: we first started working on Brooklyn, it was like every

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Speaker 1: press thing, they'd be like, so this is happening, and

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Speaker 1: we were just like, Okay, we have to go, we

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Speaker 1: have to go.

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Speaker 2: And then we were literally the two that would say

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Speaker 2: yes to everything.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't for years until like it was years that

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Speaker 1: I figured out like I could just be like no, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I can literally just say no, or like say things

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Speaker 1: that make it easy for me, like like, for example,

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Speaker 1: I remember somebody, someone who shall not be named, was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we need you to come for this press thing, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I'd love to be available for that.

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Speaker 1: If you can provide me a car back and forth,

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Speaker 1: if you can pay for styling and hair and makeup.

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Speaker 1: I would love to be there, And then it was

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Speaker 1: like radio silence. I was like, Okay, then I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to go because like I don't need you don't

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Speaker 1: need me there bad enough to pay for me to

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Speaker 1: be able to like take the time out of my day,

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Speaker 1: Like I'm not getting paid to do you know, like

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Speaker 1: we're I get paid to do press. We just were

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Speaker 1: just there, you know, so like at least if you

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Speaker 1: can you make it easy for me leaving my family,

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Speaker 1: like you know what.

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Speaker 2: I mean, at least the very least you could make

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Speaker 2: it so I'm not spending money to be there, Like

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Speaker 2: I'm not paying you to be there.

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Speaker 1: Right, which you know, if you don't know a lot

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Speaker 1: about the industry, like you just don't know stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: It's like we don't get paid to do any of

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Speaker 1: that stuff. So anytime you see us, like on those

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Speaker 1: press tours and stuff, that's an obligation that we have.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes it's not an obligation, like sometimes it's written

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Speaker 1: into a contract, but sometimes it's like, oh, can you

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Speaker 1: come to do this thing? And like there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of power in being able to say no, I don't

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Speaker 1: want to. I don't want to do that, but it

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Speaker 1: takes a long time to sort of feel like you can.

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Speaker 1: I feel like, especially in This is a gross generalization,

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Speaker 1: but in Latino culture really really trained to At least

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Speaker 1: in my family, it was like, you don't say an

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Speaker 1: outright no, You sort of like figure out how to

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Speaker 1: be Like I mean, do you remember when you were

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Speaker 1: little and it was like, oh, we don't lie, we

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Speaker 1: never lie, we don't lie. Lying is wrong. But then

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Speaker 1: I would like, straight up here my mom on the

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Speaker 1: phone be like I know, it would be like she

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Speaker 1: would straight up lie. She'd just be like, we can't

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Speaker 1: go because we have something that day, and it was like, well,

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Speaker 1: we don't have anything that day. I know we don't

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Speaker 1: have anything that day. But it was like the softening

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Speaker 1: of like she couldn't just outright say no. She would

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Speaker 1: have to sort of soften it and be like massage

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Speaker 1: it so people didn't get their feelings hurt.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, and I think, yeah, oh yeah, I've even

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Speaker 2: started now. As you know, Enzo's older and there have

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Speaker 2: been times where he's like I don't want to go

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Speaker 2: hang out with this person, or he doesn't want to,

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Speaker 2: you know, do something with maybe you know someone that's.

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Speaker 1: Name the name, name the child, name the child.

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Speaker 2: And I've had to be like, okay, we've talked about,

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Speaker 2: you know, lying and how important it is tell the truth,

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Speaker 2: and I'm like, but sometimes a little white lie to

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Speaker 2: protect someone's feelings, yes, you know, because maybe or maybe

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Speaker 2: it's that like he's got two invites and he wants

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Speaker 2: to go to one and not the other. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: you can't say that person like I got invited to

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Speaker 2: this and I'm gonna go to that Like that's sorry.

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Speaker 1: Like that's that's rude.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's you know, and I and I tell

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Speaker 2: him too. I'm like, and you can always use me.

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Speaker 2: You can always say my mom said no, or my

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Speaker 2: mom says we have to go here, or my mom

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Speaker 2: is saying that I have to you know, I haven't

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Speaker 2: cleaned my room or whatever. I was like, make me

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Speaker 2: the bad guy whenever you want.

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Speaker 1: What's so funny about that is that I remember you

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Speaker 1: saying to me like, oh, you can use your kid

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Speaker 1: as an excuse now, And I was like, well, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: you were like, yeah, you have a kid. You have

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Speaker 1: a kid. That's it's oh my god.

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Speaker 2: It is the most beautiful out I'm so sorry. You know,

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Speaker 2: my kid came home. He's a little sniffley and not

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Speaker 2: acting himself, and I am so sorry.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm just like, no.

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Speaker 2: Anyone I've ever like said that too. That's listening to

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Speaker 2: this right now, being.

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Speaker 1: Like it's like, excuse, excuse me sometimes, but it is

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Speaker 1: a real excuse sometimes, right, Like sometimes it is an

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Speaker 1: easy no to be, like I can't because like if

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Speaker 1: I do that, her routine is going to be all

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Speaker 1: messed up and then we're fucked, yeah or whatever, you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sometimes it's real. But also it's

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Speaker 2: a top tier excuse yeah tier, But yeah, I think

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Speaker 2: it's okay to like a little you know, it's it's

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Speaker 2: just I don't know, it's polite, like it's polite lying yeah.

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Speaker 1: More better, more better, I guess, you know. A good

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Speaker 1: question is like how did you specifically you get more

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Speaker 1: better at saying no? Like what was the do you

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Speaker 1: remember like a turning point for you or like something

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Speaker 1: that like or was it just time? Like was it like.

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Speaker 2: I think it was just time? And I also would

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Speaker 2: give you credit because I feel like you are one

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Speaker 2: of the people. You and and a couple of our

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Speaker 2: other castmates that I won't specifically point out on Brooklyn that, uh.

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Speaker 2: I remember having like little moments throughout time where you

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Speaker 2: or one of them would just be like, yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm not doing that, and I would be like, you can,

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Speaker 2: you can say that, you can you can just be

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Speaker 2: like no, thank you, that's not for me, Like you

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Speaker 2: don't You're not bending over backwards to like out of

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Speaker 2: obligation to make that person happy or do that thing.

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Speaker 2: And I think it was like like a seed that

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Speaker 2: was planted that like grew over time, and especially when

378
00:19:56,000 --> 00:20:00,479
Speaker 2: it came to jobs like that is also new. Like

379
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,719
Speaker 2: before Brooklyn, I was very much in that life of

380
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Speaker 2: like you say yes to everything, like I mean, there

381
00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:10,800
Speaker 2: were some things that really compromised morals or you know,

382
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Speaker 2: I was. I was, you know, because I did get

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Speaker 2: offered a lot of like U in the beat, like

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Speaker 2: when I was younger.

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Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear the end of this thought.

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Speaker 1: What what negative? I would say, negative portrayals of Latinos,

387
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: the sexy stereotype or which I definitely did sometimes, you know,

388
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Speaker 1: I mean like the girl from the Hood, like we

389
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Speaker 1: are very sexy people.

390
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Speaker 2: We are are very sexy people people. We are we

391
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Speaker 2: are and help more.

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Speaker 1: And so there are so many levels.

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Speaker 2: And there were definitely a couple of times where like, yeah,

394
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Speaker 2: I could have used that extra line on my resume,

395
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Speaker 2: or I could have use that little paycheck. You know.

396
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Speaker 2: They definitely were jobs that didn't like pay a lot

397
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Speaker 2: where I was like, you know, this is not necessarily

398
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Speaker 2: going to like help me pay I mean, it's gonna

399
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,080
Speaker 2: help me pay my rent a little bit, but like

400
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:09,280
Speaker 2: I could, I could figure something else out. So there

401
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:12,280
Speaker 2: were a few times where I did say no that

402
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 2: it felt really good and I was really proud of

403
00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 2: myself because I knew going into and usually it was

404
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 2: like things that involved nudity or just things that were

405
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:25,359
Speaker 2: like super so superficial, where like you can't even wrap

406
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:29,000
Speaker 2: your mind around. You're like this character is like a puppet,

407
00:21:29,119 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 2: like not it's a prop, like it's not there's nothing here.

408
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:33,160
Speaker 1: There's nothing here.

409
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was really hard to say no. But

410
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 2: I just knew that I wasn't going to feel good

411
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Speaker 2: about myself if I said yes.

412
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Speaker 1: It's like starting to listen to that little like inside yourself,

413
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:51,240
Speaker 1: which is like this doesn't feel good, like this yes

414
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 1: it doesn't see yes, this feels wrong, like yes.

415
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,440
Speaker 2: But then when you book a big show like Brooklyn

416
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:02,920
Speaker 2: and you're a series regular and you start getting more opportunities,

417
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:08,399
Speaker 2: that was a different kind of struggle because I was

418
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,720
Speaker 2: still coming from that mentality of like, well, you say

419
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Speaker 2: yes to everything because you need to grow your career

420
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,159
Speaker 2: and needs to like climb that ladder, and like this

421
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,080
Speaker 2: is not a bad role and this is not a

422
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:22,160
Speaker 2: bad script, and like but and again, I remember kind

423
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Speaker 2: of learning from you or remember saying, you know, even

424
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 2: yes to a couple of things that you passed on

425
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Speaker 2: that I was like, dang, And then I was like,

426
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Speaker 2: she was right, she is this ended up being a

427
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Speaker 2: fucking dumpster fire and she couldn't.

428
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Speaker 1: Have known that. I could not have known that that

429
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Speaker 1: I could not have known. But but I but.

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Speaker 2: It was, it was, It was tricky, and in the

431
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 2: beginning it felt really like wrong in my bones to

432
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Speaker 2: say no to things. Yeah, and it it I had

433
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Speaker 2: and I would have these like long, God, bless my manner,

434
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 2: your Jeb who I've been with for like twenty years,

435
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 2: because the conversations that man had to like guide me

436
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 2: through and just reassure me that he was like you

437
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,359
Speaker 2: will work again, You're fine, You're on a show. You

438
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: have the liberty, it's okay to say no, Like you

439
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 2: don't have to, Like you don't, you're not obligated to

440
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 2: your younger self who would have like killed for this

441
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 2: opportunity or sure, you know, like, oh my god, this

442
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 2: is a straight offer like that never happens.

443
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,719
Speaker 1: Never happens. I have to take it.

444
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:32,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to take it, but like it's okay

445
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 2: if you don't. And is this the move is? He

446
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:36,919
Speaker 2: would be real with me. He would be like, this

447
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 2: isn't going to move the needle. Like do it if

448
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:40,639
Speaker 2: you It looks really fun for you, if you think

449
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,400
Speaker 2: you're gonna have a good time, but like this isn't

450
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:47,439
Speaker 2: going to like necessarily give you any more than you

451
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 2: already have in your career. You know.

452
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 1: I love that all managers and agents It's like they

453
00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,879
Speaker 1: gave the them a handbook where they all have to

454
00:23:56,920 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 1: say move the needle because my needle say is that too?

455
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, I know this is gonna move. This

456
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:05,440
Speaker 1: is gonna move the needle. It's like where's the need

457
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 1: where is it? What is it? Where is it?

458
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 4: Can I see you?

459
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 2: What? What does it say on either side of the needle?

460
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 2: Like good Back, First Star, fucking d.

461
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:18,919
Speaker 3: I don't know.

462
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:25,199
Speaker 1: It's very weird. It's very weird. I feel like I

463
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 1: had a similar experience, like it was like a little

464
00:24:27,480 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: bit by little bit. I also feel like there was

465
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: a period of my life where I I felt intense

466
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 1: like pressure, and I think a lot of women feel

467
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,119
Speaker 1: this way. I don't know about men. I don't know

468
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: the experience, but like I feel like you to be

469
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 1: seen as someone that was agreeable and cool and fun

470
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:57,159
Speaker 1: and nice and somebody that wanted, you know, like people

471
00:24:57,200 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 1: to like a pick me right, yeah you say yeah

472
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 1: to things like you're like yeah, I'm down, Yeah, I'm

473
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 1: down to do that. I'm sure you can borrow this

474
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 1: top even though it's like precious to me and like

475
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 1: I don't want you to let you but like I yeah,

476
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:14,600
Speaker 1: Like you know, now, all sorts of things are like oh, yes,

477
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be the one that says yes so that

478
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:22,080
Speaker 1: remember training for uh to teach bar classes. And I

479
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 1: would always be like, yes, I'll teach an extra class. Yes,

480
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:28,239
Speaker 1: I'll like be on this so that everyone thinks of

481
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 1: me this way. It's like, but that kind of saying

482
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,280
Speaker 1: yes sometimes, like that exhausts you. Because you want to

483
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 1: be seen a certain way, and you stop asking yourself

484
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: like how you feel, how you feel about like saying

485
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,439
Speaker 1: yes to everyone, how you feel about it? And I

486
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:48,040
Speaker 1: think that that's the thing that's like starting to drill

487
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:52,359
Speaker 1: down into like how do I feel about this experience

488
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,639
Speaker 1: and do I actually want to take part in it

489
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 1: or not?

490
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah, I think that's.

491
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: The biggest part of saying no is like having to

492
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 1: really listen to yourself and not a little bit of

493
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 1: like not giving a fuck of like how you're going

494
00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: to be perceived, which is hard to do. So it's

495
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,320
Speaker 1: very hard to do.

496
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 2: Do you think it's harder to say no at work

497
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 2: than it is in like personal life?

498
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: Hmmm, that's a really interesting question. I I don't think so.

499
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:39,600
Speaker 1: I think at work, I'm better at coming to something

500
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:44,199
Speaker 1: with reasons, like I'm better at sort of saying and

501
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 1: I don't think I give like a hard no because

502
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 1: you know, at work you're also balancing people's egos. Yeah,

503
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:54,920
Speaker 1: so at work, I think I'm more likely to say,

504
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: you know, here's the reasons why I think i'd like

505
00:26:57,400 --> 00:27:01,719
Speaker 1: want to go in a different direction, or here's whatever.

506
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: But if it's something dangerous I'll straight up just be like, noah,

507
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,879
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that right right. There were times on

508
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:09,440
Speaker 1: Twisted Metal where they were like do you want to

509
00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 1: and I'd be like, that's okay, nope, absolutely stunts uple

510
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,400
Speaker 1: in that car that's driving seventy miles an hour right

511
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 1: at a wall. I'm good, I'm okay.

512
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 2: That's not something I need to try to do.

513
00:27:20,200 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: That's something I need to do. That's not something I

514
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,520
Speaker 1: need to do. I'm not straight at a wall. Around

515
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 1: a wall, sure, like through a tonne of old fire, yes,

516
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 1: let's do it. Like but yeah, there were things that

517
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 1: I was just like, no, I'm not going to do that,

518
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,440
Speaker 1: and they'd be like, okay, you know, no, I never

519
00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:41,120
Speaker 1: felt any pressure that way. I think sometimes I think

520
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:47,639
Speaker 1: in the past maybe I have not handled the saying

521
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 1: no the way that I wanted to. Like, you know,

522
00:27:50,200 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 1: the thing that's tricky for me is like I get

523
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,640
Speaker 1: emotional when I don't like something. I get really like

524
00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,640
Speaker 1: I can feel it in my body, like i feel

525
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 1: like I'm like choking and I feel and like I'm

526
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: going to cry. And that's the worst feeling because I

527
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:07,439
Speaker 1: don't want to cry at work. Yeah, because you know,

528
00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 1: whether we like it or not, it still can be

529
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 1: a sign of like weakness in women to cry at work.

530
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,240
Speaker 1: And I also don't want to use it as like

531
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 1: a I don't want to like weaponize my tears. So

532
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: I I very like I hold onto that. And that's

533
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 1: hard because it's exhausting to sort of move through a know,

534
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,960
Speaker 1: while trying to retain like I want to scream no,

535
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:29,680
Speaker 1: you know, I want to be like no, I hate

536
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,880
Speaker 1: the storyline or whatever, you know, And what I have

537
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 1: to do is kind of like measure my words and

538
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 1: kind of try to figure out a way to say

539
00:28:36,920 --> 00:28:40,480
Speaker 1: it so that they hear the no. But also here

540
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: I'm open to other ideas. At home, I'm just like no, no, yeah,

541
00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 1: Brod's galve of that, Brad No Like sometimes yeah, I.

542
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 2: Think having kids has made me feel more secure saying

543
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:58,720
Speaker 2: no in my personal life because because you're practicing on

544
00:28:58,760 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 2: your little people.

545
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: I have right now no no no. I mean the

546
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 1: other thing though, to like not to play Devil's advocate,

547
00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,720
Speaker 1: but like I think you said this to me. You

548
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 1: were like, I'm trying to figure out how many times

549
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:15,000
Speaker 1: a day I'm saying like no you can't versus yes

550
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: you can.

551
00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, yeah.

552
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,560
Speaker 1: And so if I'm saying no to her all the time,

553
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: like that sucks for her, right because it feels like, oh,

554
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:28,600
Speaker 1: I don't get to do anything. Yeah, So lately I've

555
00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:32,240
Speaker 1: been going like, well, let's negotiate, you know, and I'm

556
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,680
Speaker 1: like try to hear her out and hear what she's saying,

557
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 1: and I'm like, that's not going to work for me.

558
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: But what would for work for me? Is this?

559
00:29:38,720 --> 00:29:38,920
Speaker 2: Right?

560
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 1: So, like that's been interesting because she is learning negotiation

561
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 1: skills and I'm weak. I know, Melissa, I'm weak.

562
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,160
Speaker 2: I'm weak, I know, and I do think that's a

563
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 2: good skill. But yeah, be careful because I remember when

564
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 2: my kids were little, particularly Enzo, who is just it's

565
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:00,720
Speaker 2: a very good I mean, it's like living with a

566
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 2: little lawyer. But and I would very early on be like,

567
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 2: all right, let's make a deal. That's what I would say.

568
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 2: Let's make a deal like this, this, this, And then

569
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 2: quickly my kids started coming to me and being like, Mom,

570
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:15,120
Speaker 2: can we make a deal. I'd be like, hmmm, about

571
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:19,000
Speaker 2: I did it? Okay, what are the terms that you're bringing?

572
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 2: But now, like everything kind of is negotiation. And I

573
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 2: did get the advice once from a therapist that was like, uh,

574
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 2: negotiations should always come from you, the adult, Like the

575
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:34,240
Speaker 2: kids should not start the negotiation. Like you, you are

576
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 2: in charge of all negotiations. You bring the negotiations to

577
00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,480
Speaker 2: the table, never the child. And I was like, okay, okay.

578
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 1: That's interesting, that's interesting.

579
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

580
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: A lot of times I'm just like I'm listening. I'm listening.

581
00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm listening. Yeah. Yeah, she's so really little.

582
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 2: That might have been also like older kid advice.

583
00:30:50,240 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.

584
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:03,720
Speaker 1: So I'm going to ask you one to ten, how

585
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:06,680
Speaker 1: guilty would you feel saying no to the following? Okay,

586
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 1: skipping your friend's bachelorette party?

587
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:16,440
Speaker 2: Ooh oh okay, But there's context, there's I know, questions.

588
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:18,840
Speaker 1: I know, I follow up questions like who's going to

589
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 1: be at this party? Because like what it's gonna be there?

590
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 1: Because gaggles of girls scare me? So do you want

591
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 1: my gaggle? Sometimes it's not is not my gaggle? So

592
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 1: do I know the other girls? How close of a

593
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 1: friend of it? Okay, let's say it's not your gaggle,

594
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 1: but the girl that's getting married is a really good friend.

595
00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 1: Oh I know, i'd feel really bad. Oh, I'd be

596
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: like around a six, but I wouldn't go.

597
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 2: I think I would wait on a scale one to ten.

598
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 2: Ten being you're gonna say.

599
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:55,560
Speaker 1: Ten is like you feel really guilty. Oh, you weren't

600
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 1: really guilty? Guilty?

601
00:31:56,440 --> 00:31:57,959
Speaker 2: I was like, what's the measure we're talking?

602
00:31:58,440 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, the guilt.

603
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 2: Oh, if I said no, I would probably be pretty

604
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:09,720
Speaker 2: high on that guilt scale, like eight maybe nine. And

605
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 2: I feel like if it was a really close friend,

606
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,959
Speaker 2: I probably would say yes. But if it was like

607
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,200
Speaker 2: a multi night situation, also, I need like to know

608
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 2: how long the special two nights? Okay, it's two nights,

609
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:29,040
Speaker 2: So I'm going to Uh, I'm going to do a

610
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,920
Speaker 2: hybrid and I'm going to go to the first night

611
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,040
Speaker 2: and make an excuse then skip out on the second night.

612
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 1: That's smart.

613
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 2: Oh okay, Okay, that's what I'm going to do.

614
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:44,560
Speaker 1: Okay. Not going to your kid's eighteen hundredth soccer practice.

615
00:32:43,680 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 2: Oh my god, no, Like I don't care, zero, I

616
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 2: don't care.

617
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:46,959
Speaker 3: No.

618
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,200
Speaker 2: I I yeah, I David goes to most of those,

619
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 2: and I go. When my kid is like, you haven't

620
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 2: been to practice in a long time, I'm like, all right,

621
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,400
Speaker 2: I'll go if it matters to them. But otherwise, I mean,

622
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 2: I also like don't understand the culture of like parents

623
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,880
Speaker 2: staying for the whole practice. I get, like, if it's

624
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 2: kind of far and stuff and it's only like an

625
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 2: hour and a half, like it just makes sense to stay.

626
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 2: But my mom just dropped me off at all my

627
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 2: dance classes and then picked me up when it was over.

628
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 2: She did not stay and watch. There's like this weird

629
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 2: new culture of like staying and watching all of your

630
00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 2: kids activities, and then you feel weird if you're the

631
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,320
Speaker 2: one that, like, can I just drop him off and

632
00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 2: like go get a coffee and pick him up? Am

633
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 2: I a whit parent? Because I don't want to day

634
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 2: and watch?

635
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 1: No, it's the good time.

636
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 2: Also, maybe he's gonna perform better if I'm not fucking

637
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 2: watching him.

638
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I would perform better when my mom

639
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 1: wasn't around because I knew she was like gonna give

640
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: me fucking notes And I hated that shit and I

641
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: hated it. Okay, wait, decline. How guilty would you feel

642
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 1: saying no to declining coffee with someone who wants to

643
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: pick your brain? Ote that phrase?

644
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 4: I hit it, hit it?

645
00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 2: Oh God again, I follow up questions. Is this a

646
00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 2: young person? Is it like a person?

647
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 1: It is a person that is out of college. They're

648
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:16,040
Speaker 1: they're at one of the improv things. They're either at

649
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:20,080
Speaker 1: the one over here or the one over there, you know, yeah, yeah,

650
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: and they're a writer and a and an actor and

651
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 1: they just want to like they really just want to

652
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:32,640
Speaker 1: pick your brain about like the industry.

653
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:34,480
Speaker 3: Oh god.

654
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 1: And they're nice, they're really nice. A little annoying, a

655
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 1: little annoying.

656
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 2: Oh fuck, I'm going I'm going. I'm going to that coffee.

657
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:51,200
Speaker 2: I'm like coffee, I'm going to the coffee. I'm like, yeah, maybe,

658
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 2: like in my time limit. It's like we've in walking

659
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,520
Speaker 2: distance of my house, right and we're meeting at twelve.

660
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 2: I'm giving them the heads up, like I have I

661
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,879
Speaker 2: have an hour. I have to be at this thing

662
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,400
Speaker 2: at two. Yeah, like yep, yeah, I'm making sure that

663
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:11,800
Speaker 2: boundariesn't everything. Yes, yes, and it's okay to a little

664
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 2: white lie for a boundary, correct, okay.

665
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:17,840
Speaker 1: And they the other thing is like you don't have

666
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 1: to dill in the rest, right, Like you say, I

667
00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 1: have to leave by one? Oh oh oh do you

668
00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 1: have something? Yeah, I just have to leave by one. Yeah,

669
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:28,120
Speaker 1: I need to know my life.

670
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:28,520
Speaker 3: Baby.

671
00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 1: Maybe I have a plan hoop, maybe I you know

672
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, maybe I need to catch up

673
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 1: on my stories. I need to watch my loves BLD.

674
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: You don't know.

675
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,439
Speaker 2: Maybe I take a ship at one pm every day.

676
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 1: You don't You don't need to know. Okay, Okay, I

677
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 1: want to do a little bit before we like kind

678
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:51,719
Speaker 1: of get like our thoughts together about what we.

679
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:52,399
Speaker 2: Done, why?

680
00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:58,439
Speaker 1: Why? I really like this. This is how to say

681
00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 1: no nicely. I'm going to read a couple of these.

682
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:01,200
Speaker 2: Okay.

683
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 1: This is from Calm the Calm app. I don't know

684
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,320
Speaker 1: if anybody uses it. We love the Colm not sponsored,

685
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,319
Speaker 1: but I know I love the com app we used

686
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 1: the last night. Why is it so hard to say no?

687
00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:13,600
Speaker 1: Once you're aware of the underlying reasons, you find it

688
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 1: hard to say no. So these are like just like

689
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 1: bullet points. You have a desire to please, so you

690
00:36:18,360 --> 00:36:21,720
Speaker 1: hit that people pleasing eive a fear of conflict. Sometimes

691
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 1: people are real but hurt when you say no. Yeah,

692
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,359
Speaker 1: and that can be hard because you have to have

693
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,560
Speaker 1: the especially if it's face to face, you have to

694
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 1: have the it's happening now, like you know.

695
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 2: Right, or a lot of times I'll have those feelings

696
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:41,920
Speaker 2: with someone who has a position of power over me

697
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,879
Speaker 2: and work like a boss or yeah, like a showrunner

698
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 2: or an actor that's higher up on the call sheet

699
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,440
Speaker 2: and you have to like navigate that.

700
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want to avoid feeling guilty. Guilty is another

701
00:36:55,760 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 1: big powerful one. Yeah, and yeah, I think this is same.

702
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,040
Speaker 1: This says you're taught to be a people pleaser, but

703
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:05,080
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the same thing. Okay, learn how

704
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:09,360
Speaker 1: to say no without regret, Assess the request, evaluate whether

705
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 1: it aligns with your goals and values. So we talked

706
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 1: about that a little bit. Like with work, especially, be

707
00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:24,040
Speaker 1: honest and direct. We don't totally agree, stay firm and consistent.

708
00:37:24,719 --> 00:37:27,360
Speaker 1: I love this one because one time I had to

709
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 1: break up with a manager and he just kept the

710
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:33,759
Speaker 1: conversation was I mean, he was great at his job,

711
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,640
Speaker 1: he was like a shark. He just kept going and

712
00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: why I should stay, Why I should stay, Why I

713
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:42,279
Speaker 1: should stay? And I kept saying I know that I

714
00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:44,360
Speaker 1: know this is hard to hear, but like I really

715
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 1: I don't think this relationship's working anymore. I know, I know,

716
00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,160
Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying, but I just don't think

717
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 1: it's working for me anymore. And I just kept repeating myself,

718
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 1: repeating myself, repeating myself. And this says stay firm and consistent.

719
00:37:54,760 --> 00:37:57,200
Speaker 1: Once you said no, stay firm. For instance, if someone

720
00:37:57,280 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 1: keeps asking after you've said no, you can say, I

721
00:37:59,040 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 1: know you're disappointed, but answer hasn't changed. I love that.

722
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 2: Oh that's a good line. I know you're disappointed, but

723
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,880
Speaker 2: that hasn't changed my answer. Yeah, like writing that down. Okay,

724
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:10,120
Speaker 2: that's a good one. That's keep.

725
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 1: It's simple avoid over explaining. You don't need to know

726
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 1: that I poop at one pm. I just have to

727
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 1: know that I have to leave. For instance, i'm not

728
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:21,680
Speaker 1: available that day is enough of a response to turn

729
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 1: down an invitation. I love that one. No excuse or anything.

730
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,120
Speaker 1: It's just like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm not available. Yeah,

731
00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:33,359
Speaker 1: use I statements I have other commitments instead of like

732
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 1: you were always asking me to do stuff, which is

733
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:40,799
Speaker 1: why would you say that. Alternatives I can't help you

734
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: move this weekend, but I can help you unpack next week.

735
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: I love that one. Practice empathy. I understand it's important

736
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: to you, but I can't help right now. Know your priorities,

737
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:53,360
Speaker 1: so like for me, that's a big one. It's like,

738
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 1: like I started off saying, it's like, I absolutely will

739
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 1: do press one hundred percent, but I also want to

740
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 1: spend time with my family while I'm not working on

741
00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:05,479
Speaker 1: something immediately, and she's my kid is little and every

742
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: moment is precious and if it's going to take me

743
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 1: away from that, it really like it has to be

744
00:39:11,719 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: worth it, right. And also sometimes the answer is just

745
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:16,759
Speaker 1: no because I'm spending time with my family, Like I'm

746
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 1: spending time with my family this weekend, I'm not available,

747
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 1: you know.

748
00:39:19,800 --> 00:39:20,720
Speaker 2: Yep, yep.

749
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,960
Speaker 1: Practice self compassion. Remind yourself it's better to say no

750
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:29,280
Speaker 1: than to over commit and feel overwhelmed. Oh read me, calmap,

751
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:34,479
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Yeah, set clear boundaries. We talked about

752
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:38,360
Speaker 1: that one. Reflect on past experiences, look back on times,

753
00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 1: and you said no and it felt good to reinforce

754
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:46,440
Speaker 1: positive outcomes of setting boundaries. And I really like that one.

755
00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:49,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do too, I feel you know it. Just

756
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:52,440
Speaker 2: when you said that last one, it reminded me of

757
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 2: I think when I was pregnant the first time was

758
00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:57,720
Speaker 2: one of the times in my life that I said

759
00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 2: no the most, just because I was like, I didn't

760
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 2: give any fucks. I was like, fuck, y'all, I'm fucking pregnant,

761
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:08,840
Speaker 2: I'm in pain. No I'm not going to your party.

762
00:40:08,920 --> 00:40:11,120
Speaker 2: No I'm not going to the Saying no, I said

763
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,279
Speaker 2: no so much, and then it started to feel really

764
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,719
Speaker 2: good because I was saying notice so many things that

765
00:40:15,719 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 2: I would normally say yes to. And I had a

766
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,799
Speaker 2: perfect excuse because I was like, I'm pregnant and not

767
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 2: feeling good. But I was like, this feels great. Yeah,

768
00:40:25,480 --> 00:40:28,400
Speaker 2: And I feel like that was a little moment in

769
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:31,880
Speaker 2: my life where I started to get more comfortable and

770
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:32,960
Speaker 2: better at saying no.

771
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it often saying it.

772
00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 2: There is it can feel like well, because I think

773
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 2: you feel like you stood up for yourself, like you know,

774
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:48,920
Speaker 2: you you protected your peace, you protected your values or

775
00:40:49,040 --> 00:40:54,359
Speaker 2: morals or you know, depending on the circumstance, and yeah,

776
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 2: And it's like life is freaking short, man. I don't

777
00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,399
Speaker 2: want to be spending a whole lot of time doing

778
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 2: stuff I don't want to do.

779
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 1: I don't want to be doing.

780
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't want to be doing or with people

781
00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 2: that I don't want to be with.

782
00:41:05,040 --> 00:41:07,600
Speaker 1: I'd rather the worst, the worst.

783
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:11,279
Speaker 2: Time is so precious, and I want and it's you know,

784
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:13,800
Speaker 2: as we get older and have little kids and work,

785
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 2: and you know, this is like the least amount of

786
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 2: free time I feel like I've ever had in my

787
00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:22,800
Speaker 2: entire life. I want to prioritize using that free time

788
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 2: to either be on tamly, to be on TikTok staring

789
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,399
Speaker 2: at the wall, or with the friends that I really

790
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 2: care about that I don't get to see enough.

791
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, I will say. As we're like thinking about this,

792
00:41:37,680 --> 00:41:44,239
Speaker 1: I want to encourage listeners to also really think about

793
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 1: when you're saying no, because sometimes you're saying no out

794
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:51,239
Speaker 1: of fear, and that's the way I have a lot

795
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:53,120
Speaker 1: of that. I say no out of fear a lot

796
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 1: of the time. So that is, you know, something that

797
00:41:57,600 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 1: I have to kind of manage and think about, Like

798
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: why am I saying no to this thing? Is it

799
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:04,920
Speaker 1: because I'm afraid that I'm not going to fit in?

800
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 1: Is it because I'm afraid I'm not going to do well?

801
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,319
Speaker 1: Is because I'm afraid and then I'm going to look

802
00:42:09,360 --> 00:42:12,840
Speaker 1: stupid or whatever? And yeah, and those reasons might be

803
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 1: the reason. It might be like, yes, that's why I

804
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,800
Speaker 1: don't want to say yes to this, and that's okay. Yeah,

805
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 1: but it's just the.

806
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 2: Thought that I had as we were like talking no,

807
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:24,439
Speaker 2: and as that tip that you read is like, yeah,

808
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 2: like first get clear about why you want to say no.

809
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:30,680
Speaker 2: I think knowing the reason is good because there are

810
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:34,880
Speaker 2: some circumstances I think where I have been scared to

811
00:42:34,920 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 2: say no, but I realize it's just fear and that

812
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 2: it actually would be good for me to do. An

813
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 2: example of that would be the first time I was

814
00:42:43,560 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 2: asked to like be a guest in an improv show

815
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:50,360
Speaker 2: and I said no, or I wanted to say no

816
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 2: because immediately I was terrified. Yeah, and then I realized

817
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,480
Speaker 2: it was fear, And I said, Okay, but is this

818
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,840
Speaker 2: this kind of fear that like, yeah, if it goes poorly,

819
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:05,640
Speaker 2: like how detrimental is it going to be? And what

820
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 2: is the likelihood that it's going to go really poorly?

821
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:11,200
Speaker 2: Because I'm gonna be with professionals that like have told

822
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 2: me are literally our whole job is to protect you

823
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,439
Speaker 2: and make you look good while you're up there with us. Yeah,

824
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,960
Speaker 2: we're not gonna let you fall, like you know, and

825
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,919
Speaker 2: they have all these tips and tricks that they do

826
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 2: when they're like have a guest when it's that kind

827
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 2: of show that like has a guest and yeah, and

828
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 2: so in that sort I was like, well, no, yeah,

829
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:35,680
Speaker 2: I don't think I should say no to this, I

830
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:38,160
Speaker 2: think And I've done a few now, and some of

831
00:43:38,200 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 2: them have been fucking horrible where I left and I

832
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,960
Speaker 2: was like, I'm embarrassed. I'm glad that that was not

833
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:47,680
Speaker 2: on tape. I'm embarrassed if anyone found out. And then

834
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,880
Speaker 2: there have been a few that were like great and

835
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:54,279
Speaker 2: and went so much better than I thought I they

836
00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 2: would have, you know, and it was fun and it

837
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 2: was scary and challenging, and you know, I think you

838
00:44:00,120 --> 00:44:03,160
Speaker 2: stretch and grow a little bit when you make yourself

839
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:06,920
Speaker 2: do that kind of stuff. Sometimes not that specifically, but

840
00:44:07,000 --> 00:44:10,520
Speaker 2: like anytime you like face a fear or yeah, you know,

841
00:44:11,160 --> 00:44:14,840
Speaker 2: and then it goes well and or even if it doesn't,

842
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:19,120
Speaker 2: like there's growth I think in that. So I'm not

843
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:22,000
Speaker 2: going skiing, but you don't have to go skiing.

844
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:23,840
Speaker 1: I'm not going no, no, no, you don't have to.

845
00:44:23,840 --> 00:44:24,959
Speaker 1: I will say no to that one.

846
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 2: That one is you can say that you can say

847
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 2: no to.

848
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's my takeaway for today. It's fine to say

849
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,640
Speaker 1: no skiing it's fine to say skiing. My whole family

850
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:35,800
Speaker 1: is starting to get into it. That's crazy.

851
00:44:35,920 --> 00:44:40,480
Speaker 2: It's crazy. And listen, you also are allowed to change

852
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 2: your mind at any point in time.

853
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:42,319
Speaker 4: Su sure.

854
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah sure, just.

855
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:46,440
Speaker 2: Putting that out there as well. Yeah yeah, A no

856
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:47,839
Speaker 2: can always turn into a yes.

857
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:49,360
Speaker 1: My bones are not rubber, babe.

858
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 2: I mean that's.

859
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:54,120
Speaker 1: More better.

860
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 4: That I think.

861
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:01,200
Speaker 1: Like, my big takeaway today is that I didn't know

862
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 1: I was inspiring other people to say no, which I

863
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:09,480
Speaker 1: really love. And I'm like continuing to kind of examine

864
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,000
Speaker 1: why I'm doing that. You know, I think it's good

865
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 1: for me to go, oh, now, now, I'm pretty good

866
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:19,520
Speaker 1: at it. Now I need to like dig down a

867
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 1: little deeper and see if, like maybe sometimes I'm saying

868
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: no just because I'm afraid, and whether or not that's

869
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 1: okay or not. But yeah, what about you?

870
00:45:29,080 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 2: Yeah same. I think I've gotten a lot better at it,

871
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 2: and I think that, but I think it is an

872
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 2: ever evolving thing and it is good to check in

873
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 2: and be clear about why you're saying no, especially like

874
00:45:46,719 --> 00:45:49,840
Speaker 2: to bigger stuff, you know, little shit, who cares? It's

875
00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:51,719
Speaker 2: so it's so it feels so good to say no

876
00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:52,319
Speaker 2: to little shit.

877
00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 1: So do you feel a little more better now?

878
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:00,239
Speaker 2: I do? Oh?

879
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, yes, I do?

880
00:46:03,400 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 3: I do?

881
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too.

882
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:08,200
Speaker 1: This was a really good one. Let us know if

883
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:12,480
Speaker 1: you feel like you if you're if you feel like

884
00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:15,399
Speaker 1: we touched on something that you know, like you know

885
00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 1: that you do, or you don't agree with the Oh,

886
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 1: don't let us know if you don't agree with us.

887
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:21,360
Speaker 2: Actually, I don't want to know if you're mad.

888
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:24,840
Speaker 1: At I don't want to know. I want no. Just

889
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: give it to yourself. But I'm curious about like how

890
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 1: no and yes or affect you people in their daily lives. God,

891
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,479
Speaker 1: what's wrong with me? Why can I talk? I haven't

892
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 1: had enough coffee?

893
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:38,160
Speaker 2: Yeah? What's what's your relationship with no?

894
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 3: Or like?

895
00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 2: Or?

896
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 1: Or?

897
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:42,360
Speaker 2: When we post this, like, tell us in the comments

898
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 2: some of your good no stories. I would like to.

899
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:47,839
Speaker 1: Those yeah, or ways you say no so we can

900
00:46:47,880 --> 00:46:48,680
Speaker 1: steal them?

901
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,760
Speaker 2: Oh yeah that too? Okay, cool, I died that lying

902
00:46:52,840 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 2: to say no is completely acceptable.

903
00:46:55,200 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: Fine, guys, it's fine.

904
00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:00,200
Speaker 2: Fine, we don't have to be direct and honest. Direct

905
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:03,480
Speaker 2: and honesty is wonderful. And it has a time and

906
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 2: a place.

907
00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:07,000
Speaker 1: It has a time and a place, It has a

908
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:11,760
Speaker 1: time we put us okay, okay, Next time, Bye Bye,

909
00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,800
Speaker 1: More More Better. Do you have something you'd like to

910
00:47:15,840 --> 00:47:17,319
Speaker 1: be more better at that you want us to talk

911
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:18,480
Speaker 1: about in a future episode.

912
00:47:18,560 --> 00:47:20,960
Speaker 2: Can you relate to our struggles or have you tried

913
00:47:20,960 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 2: one of our tips and tricks?

914
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:25,280
Speaker 1: Shoot us your thoughts and ideas at Morebetter pod at

915
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:28,160
Speaker 1: gmail dot com and include a voice note if you

916
00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:30,879
Speaker 1: want to be featured on the pod. Ooh, More Better

917
00:47:30,920 --> 00:47:33,720
Speaker 1: with Stephanie Melissa is a production from w Z Sound

918
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:38,200
Speaker 1: and iHeartMedia's Mikudura podcast network, hosted by Me, Stephie Beatrice,

919
00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 1: and Melissa Fumara. More Better is produced by ISIS Madrid

920
00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 1: and Sophie Spencer's a boos Our.

921
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 2: Executive producers are Stephanie Beatrice, myself, Melissa Flumero, along with

922
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 2: Wilmore Valderrama and Leo Klem at WV Sound and ISIS Madrid.

923
00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:55,399
Speaker 1: This episode was edited by ISIS Madrid and engineered by

924
00:47:55,400 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 1: Sean Tracy and features original music bind Maddison Davenport and

925
00:47:58,880 --> 00:47:59,439
Speaker 1: Hello Boy.

926
00:47:59,480 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 2: Our cover Our Heart is by vincent Remy's and photography

927
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 2: by David Abolos. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the

928
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,440
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

929
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:09,280
Speaker 2: favorite shows.

930
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 1: See you next week's bug Us Bye,