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Speaker 1: Ola, It's Erica and we are so motherfucking excited because

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Speaker 1: we just announced our second live show and it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be in Atlanta. Yes, Mama, we come into Atlanta to

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Speaker 1: hang out with all of our Atlanta Mama's zaddies, people

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Speaker 1: without kids. Remember, you ain't gotta have the kid to

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Speaker 1: come to a good mom's party. Okay, And this party

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Speaker 1: is about to be turned up. It's October thirteenth at

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Speaker 1: BQE Lounge Downtown, so make sure you get those tickets.

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Speaker 1: Go ahead and buy that VIP bag because it's bomb.

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Speaker 1: We have some amazing, amazing brands in our VIP gift bag.

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Speaker 2: No bullshit, because we don't do that over here, honey. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: let me shut the fuck up.

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Speaker 1: Go ahead and get those tickets on our Instagram at

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Speaker 1: Good Bombs Underscore Bad Choices. We'll see you October thirteenth

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Speaker 1: in Atlanta.

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Speaker 2: Peace.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, baby, no no, not the weak.

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Speaker 2: Song of Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm

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Speaker 2: Nila and I'm Erica. Happy Wednesday Wednesday. Hope you guys

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Speaker 2: are you know, living your best life? Your best life,

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Speaker 2: accomplishing your goals, setting your.

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Speaker 1: Boundaries, drinking your water drinking your water, doing your workouts, meditating,

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Speaker 1: eating lettuce.

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Speaker 2: Speaking of meditating eating lettuce, I don't know. We just

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Speaker 2: had a salad. She's feeling really letousy. Today is the

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Speaker 2: first day of my workout story. I'm sorry. Next week journey,

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Speaker 2: I'm starting my whole journey next week. Everything. Why next week?

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Speaker 2: Why not? Because it's the first I needed to get

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Speaker 2: it out of my system. Okay, so you got to

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Speaker 2: get all this shit out. I'm gonna drink like lots

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Speaker 2: of water next week. I'm not gonna eat any meat meat.

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Speaker 2: I'm detoxing, and I'm gonna stop having sex. Are you

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Speaker 2: having sex? No, so you're gonna put you might have sex. No,

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Speaker 2: I'm not having sex.

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Speaker 1: But you might have sex now. But so then you're

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Speaker 1: just gonna I don't have anybody to have. You're gonna

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Speaker 1: you're giving yourself space too, fuck ye just in case.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, got it. But I'm probably not because I

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Speaker 2: don't really have any potentials or neither zero.

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Speaker 1: I've spent a lot of time with my former potentials though,

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Speaker 1: over the past like two.

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Speaker 2: Weeks, former potentials, former trembling drip lippe trembling lippe. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's a good test. That's a good test.

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Speaker 4: And self control, yeah, discipline, which I lack a lot of,

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Speaker 4: which is leading me to believe that I should probably

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Speaker 4: consume less alcohol in order to make better decisions.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely no alcohol make runs everything. Yeah, like literally, I

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Speaker 2: make bad decision. Everyone does. It's like I drink tequila

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Speaker 2: and then my fangs come out. Mm hm. You always

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Speaker 2: say that, especially the fang part. Yeah, because it's it's real.

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Speaker 2: It's like sex vampire. Maybe you should switch alcohols. We

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Speaker 2: every thought about that. I don't think it's good. It's

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Speaker 2: still the same. I think any alcohol is just gonna

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Speaker 2: encourage me to do make bad trash. Yeah, maybe, like

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Speaker 2: you know, take a month off, a month off of fliquor.

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Speaker 2: Oh lord, just smoke, I just got scared you. We

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Speaker 2: I do cool? Should I get it? I'll get in

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Speaker 2: a second. Okay, uh okay. So, speaking of weird things

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Speaker 2: that I'm going to do and I have done, I'm

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Speaker 2: I met a politician. Oh my god, SHU say that.

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Speaker 1: Well, nobody knows what is unhinge And it sounds really official.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like he met Obama. Well it's not, you know,

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Speaker 2: it's like wait, not like like it's a politician. I

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Speaker 2: don't even know if you can considered a politician. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: he's in politics, but like a much lighter range of

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Speaker 2: light politics. And I met have on a hinge And

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Speaker 2: I'm flying out tomorrow to San Francisco to go on

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Speaker 2: a date overnight. So you just stay for one day.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna stay for two. I'm gonna leave Monday morning,

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Speaker 2: so we gonna hang out. We can hang out on Monday.

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Speaker 2: Do you have any plans for this weekend? No, well,

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Speaker 2: my parents are leaving.

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Speaker 1: They initially invited us, like the family to go, but

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Speaker 1: since my brother is now off to college, they've been

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Speaker 1: like doing a lot of dating.

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Speaker 2: Like nasty, Are they in therapy or something? Might I

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Speaker 2: have to be in therapy? I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I feel like that's something a therapist would reckon. No,

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Speaker 1: they're like happy and ship without therapy. So they've been

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Speaker 1: like doing a lot of dating things. And they invited

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Speaker 1: us and then like today she's like me and war

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Speaker 1: you are going on our trip to where like Laguna, But

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Speaker 1: like didn't say, like you come up like I think

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Speaker 1: that she'ld have like they want to do a solo thing,

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Speaker 1: which is fine, Like I really I.

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Speaker 2: Didn't really want to drive out to Laguna. So you're

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Speaker 2: basically we're having a party eat your mom's house. Oh

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Speaker 2: we could, right, yeah, why would I? This is where

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Speaker 2: she doesn't like me. Okay, No one wants to drive

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Speaker 2: all that out there. Yeah. Then she reminds me of

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Speaker 2: a story. I'll probably just go to Ashley's house. Okay,

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Speaker 2: I'll be there. It just trids me a story because

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Speaker 2: you said Laguna side story aside from my taking a

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Speaker 2: trip to San Francisco for a date in high school

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Speaker 2: and my junior year in high school, this stupid rich girl.

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Speaker 2: Her dad's like the second richest person in the world.

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Speaker 2: He created oshkosh, but god, oh god, damn and her mom.

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Speaker 2: They sent all of these like ten kids in a

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Speaker 2: limo to Laguna to stay at U like Saint Regis.

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Speaker 2: It was like some classes hotel in Orange County Montage

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Speaker 2: or something. Yeah, like ten fifteen year olds. Me and

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Speaker 2: my baby daddy were like teenagers then, and I have

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Speaker 2: a picture of us. He has played. Oh my god,

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Speaker 2: this is actually the sweetest thing I've ever heard. I've

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Speaker 2: ruined him. He put like rose petals on the bed. Oh,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, what kind of advanced romance? Was like

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Speaker 2: the last time you had romance like that with him?

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Speaker 2: I mean he is he romantic? What's your romantic? Can

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Speaker 2: just try? Yeah? He would like make me dinner on

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Speaker 2: Valentine's Days and yeah he tried. I mean I don't

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Speaker 2: I can't really remember like in the more adult years,

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Speaker 2: but yeah, yeah, there's a little bit of romance. There

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Speaker 2: was romance. I'm just thinking what parents allowed their kids

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Speaker 2: to go to Laguna Beach alone for the weekend. Parents

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Speaker 2: that are trying to fuck like get these kids out

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Speaker 2: of oh so in car justified. Well, they're like, we'll

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Speaker 2: deal with that later. We need time, right, Okay, I

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Speaker 2: don't know if I'm letting wanna do that anyway. Back

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Speaker 2: to the prime story here, Erica and I have both

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Speaker 2: matched with potential politicians on Hinge, and you know, I

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Speaker 2: think now we're realizing since we started this podcast that

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Speaker 2: we can never date a politician because their whole campaign

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Speaker 2: will be ruined as soon as if anyone gets public

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Speaker 2: like public notification that they're dating us, and all of

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Speaker 2: our history, good, bad, and indifferent is somewhere flooting the internet.

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Speaker 2: And I told him that I told my politician too.

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Speaker 2: I told you for so I do you stop calling

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Speaker 2: him my politician? Like no, I told him that people. Mind,

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Speaker 2: neither of us have even met the people. I've never

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Speaker 2: met this person, and I'm flying to San Francisco to

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Speaker 2: say this house for two days. I'm insane. This is

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Speaker 2: something I would do, Like, am I can you do?

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Speaker 2: You have to find my friends? Thing on? Are we having?

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Speaker 2: I am sharing our locations? Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty

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Speaker 2: sure he's not creep. It doesn't matter. You've been talking.

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Speaker 2: You never know, these politicians been doing some weird shit, thinking.

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Speaker 1: Like he might be wearing like some pantyhose when you

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Speaker 1: get there, I actually we all know you'd be down

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Speaker 1: for it.

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Speaker 2: Fuck you. I did fly to San Francisco in the

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Speaker 2: early two thousands.

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Speaker 1: Bitch, if you don't stop referencing the early two thousands

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Speaker 1: to see this guy. So you actually you're four hundred

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Speaker 1: years old the early two thousands. You graduated in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and six. How early could it?

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Speaker 2: Okay? It was probably like twenty.

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Speaker 1: Ten, Yeah, when I lived in Atlanta, late two thousands.

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Speaker 2: When I lived in Atlanta, I flew to San Francisco

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Speaker 2: to see this other guy much further Atlanta, and he

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Speaker 2: did have a like a obsession with pantyhose on me though,

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Speaker 2: But I don't know if that would transfer to him.

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Speaker 2: I didn't get that far anyway. Hopefully he doesn't want

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Speaker 2: to wear pantyhose. Hopefully you have a good time. We're

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Speaker 2: supposed to go dancing. He seems cool, is like a

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Speaker 2: cool politician. But I don't know where this would go

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Speaker 2: because I've ruined any possibilities.

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Speaker 1: Well, he knows, and maybe that's maybe he's not looking

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Speaker 1: for a relationship. He's looking at a good time, maybe

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Speaker 1: he thinks. So you can provide that for him. You're fine, girl,

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Speaker 1: Thanks Eric. That's what friends are for. Hey, I'm just

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Speaker 1: keeping it real. How is he going to be president

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Speaker 1: one day? With with good mom's bad choices as his wife?

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Speaker 2: How he said? He said, well, maybe times are changing,

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Speaker 2: he told me people like real times are changing, and

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Speaker 2: he listened to the podcast like within like the first

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Speaker 2: few conversations we had, and you I don't tell people. Really,

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Speaker 2: I need to stop telling people because I'm like, you

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Speaker 2: know way more.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't really tell people, although I did tell

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Speaker 1: this guy because he well, because he's not really a politician.

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Speaker 1: He's like he works in community and stuff, and like

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Speaker 1: tries to do change for the community, or in his text,

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Speaker 1: is changing the world.

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Speaker 2: He wrote me this long wait. I wish I could

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Speaker 2: get phone hold on we see if I have the right hair,

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Speaker 2: because it was so It's like it made me not

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Speaker 2: like him. My politician is not this okay? Here suck,

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Speaker 2: Yes it is okay. This is what he said to me.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, what if he listens to this?

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Speaker 1: I said, what do you do for work? And this

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Speaker 1: is what he wrote me. I envision impact projects intended

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Speaker 1: to significantly change the world, I wrote, and push policy

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Speaker 1: intended to use the lever of government to control the

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Speaker 1: most powerful entities on the planet. I run political, legal

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Speaker 1: and advocacy of campaigns to empower the marginalized.

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Speaker 2: And I'm building a.

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Speaker 1: Conscious community center to focus on activism, development of cooperative businesses,

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Speaker 1: and the cultivation of black political awareness.

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Speaker 2: That was this week. I would automatically know We're not.

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Speaker 2: All I wrote was wow. Wait. Then he asked me

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Speaker 2: what I did.

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't even know what to say,

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Speaker 1: Like I can't even follow up with that, Like I'm

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Speaker 1: not fucking over here changing the world like one day

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Speaker 1: at a time.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I guess, like you know that was a lot.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I feel like I'm doing good with their podcast.

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Speaker 1: I feel like, you know, we are, you know, empowering

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Speaker 1: women and also empowering ourselves and learning so much about us.

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Speaker 2: But I don't know, I wouldn't know how to break

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Speaker 2: it down in that way. It's just so intense. We

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Speaker 2: need to write better bios.

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Speaker 1: But then he say right, and then he told me

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Speaker 1: that he asked me. I asked him, like, what are

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Speaker 1: you looking for on hinge? And he said, he said

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Speaker 1: my Michelle Obama and I literally just started laughing. And

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Speaker 1: he was like what And I said, yeah, well that's

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Speaker 1: not me.

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Speaker 2: And he' said what do you mean? And I said, well, I.

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Speaker 1: Smoke weed, I drink, I curse, I talk about sex.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sech a positive and I advocate for cannabis.

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Speaker 1: And he's like, well, actually I was part of the

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Speaker 1: legislation that passed in California to add to make cannabis illegal.

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Speaker 1: So think you're so you're welcome, that's what he said.

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Speaker 1: And I said, well, actually I don't know if it's

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Speaker 1: you're welcome because now I go to cannabis clubs and

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Speaker 1: they get taxed for everything, So actually I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it's're welcome. I kind of missed my local drug dealer,

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Speaker 1: although now at least I'm more informed about what I'm smoking.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, it's whatever. I'm not Michelle Obama is essentially

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Speaker 1: what I was getting making.

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Speaker 2: Clear to shit me either.

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Speaker 1: I just and also I showed Jamila his picture and

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Speaker 1: she was not impressed.

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Speaker 2: I'm not my politician is cooler than that guy. He

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Speaker 2: went to the club last night and then went to

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Speaker 2: a press conference this morning. So my type of guy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, mine doesn't mind. I said, do you smoke weed?

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Speaker 1: He said no, but maybe I should. But that reminds me.

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Speaker 1: I have a glass of a bottle I should open

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Speaker 1: right now. And I was like, oh lord, she talks

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Speaker 1: a lot. He does talk a lot a lot.

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Speaker 2: It's also really weird. I've been talking to mine for

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Speaker 2: two weeks straight via text. I've never talked to him

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Speaker 2: on the phone. You never heard his voice. You're flying

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Speaker 2: and I've never facetimed him or anything. What It's kind

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Speaker 2: of like a surprise. I thought about facetiming him today

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Speaker 2: before I get on the flight, but I was like

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Speaker 2: fuck it. I yell, okay, well go for a girl.

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Speaker 2: That's cool. So your dating de talk starts September first. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 2: so but what if it goes well with what are

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Speaker 2: you gonna do? I don't know. Okay, I haven't gotten

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Speaker 2: that far. All right, what else?

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Speaker 1: So this episode we didn't have really a direct a

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Speaker 1: direct direct topic. We have three kids playing in the

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Speaker 1: other room right now, Irie, Luna and a friend from school,

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Speaker 1: and they're both They're all three so fucking cute.

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Speaker 2: They're really cute. And are you gonna talk about your

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Speaker 2: weird growth? Can you not call it a growth? Okay?

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Speaker 2: So fuck parenthood. I got these like, I got it

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Speaker 2: so strange I got I'm talking about this because I'm

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Speaker 2: sure other parents somewhere in the world, hopefully kim relate.

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Speaker 2: I got like a weird bump on my torso and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, this doesn't look like a mosquito bios itching

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Speaker 2: a little bit. They had like an indention on it.

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Speaker 2: Then like a little bit later I noticed another one.

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Speaker 2: Then the next day I saw one there was like

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Speaker 2: under my butt cheek, and I was like, what the

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Speaker 2: fuck is this? So I started googling because I'm a

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Speaker 2: Google queen, and I found it's some fucking child rash

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Speaker 2: called molliscous, molluscous contagios or something. Mostly kids have it

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Speaker 2: between one and tents. I probably got from of these

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Speaker 2: dirty ass children. And for kids that get it mostly

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Speaker 2: on their torso, under their arms, knees and elbows. But

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Speaker 2: for adults, it's in their genital area, their inner thighs,

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Speaker 2: and the creases of their butt. Yeah, the creases of

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Speaker 2: their butt apparently. So basically God hates me, and so

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Speaker 2: do all children. Anyway, I started reading and they were like, oh,

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Speaker 2: it's fine, it's contagious, but you can still send them

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Speaker 2: to school. You could still be around people. Just wash

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Speaker 2: your hands, don't share this, and that could It could

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Speaker 2: lay dormant for six it could be there for six

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Speaker 2: months to four years, okay four years. I was like, no,

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Speaker 2: what's not gonna happen is that? So I started reading

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Speaker 2: my UH medic medicine cabinets for anything that looked like

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Speaker 2: a strong prescription acidic based cream and I burnt those

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Speaker 2: ships off. That's great, they're gone. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Jimila took pictures of the underbut area and showed it

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Speaker 1: to me and.

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Speaker 2: It did look concerned. I'm glad you figured it out.

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Speaker 2: Do you want to see it now no, not really,

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Speaker 2: it's burnt off. I don't I'll show it. Well, we're

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Speaker 2: on camera, I'll show you after everyone's going to do.

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Speaker 1: Actually, you should shut show every If you want to,

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Speaker 1: you want to see chamilla's growth, I'm sure you can

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Speaker 1: join a Patreon.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I was really embarrassed about it, but I figured,

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Speaker 2: you know, I was embarrassed. It's disgusting. No one can

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Speaker 2: see it though I know it's there. I know, but

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Speaker 2: and then what if I'm trying to get some I mean,

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Speaker 2: you know what I mean, it's just disgusting and and like,

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Speaker 2: it's not like chicken pox. I just think all rashes

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Speaker 2: from children are discussing ring worms and disgusting. Molluscas contagios

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Speaker 2: is discussing. And then I called my homegirls three kids.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I have this weird rash on my butt.

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Speaker 2: It's called She's like, oh, the Mellusicus contagios. She's like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: the girl's got it. Mm hmm. She was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's a kid's disease. Kids. She gets some kids. Shit,

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Speaker 2: you're fine, kids disease. So basically like kids are dirty

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Speaker 2: and disgusting, and stay away and let you have some.

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Speaker 2: Let you have some well, I'm sitting really closer to you. No,

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Speaker 2: I'm worried. I'm going to get it. I know. I

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Speaker 2: told Danielle and she's like, oh, that touch me. It's like,

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Speaker 2: you fucking bitch, I'm not putting my butt on you

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Speaker 2: while you're sitting on couches and things. I'm wearing. First

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Speaker 2: of all, I'm wearing a band aid over it because

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Speaker 2: i'm burning that bitch off. Second of all, I'm covered.

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Speaker 1: You can't you can't be You can't tell people shit

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Speaker 1: is contagious and then get mad when they have an

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Speaker 1: opinion about or not I want.

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Speaker 2: Because I know it's contagious. Can't you catching it?

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Speaker 1: And they can't make everyone look at it confirmed that

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Speaker 1: it looks fucked up, then call it molliscus contagiosis, and

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Speaker 1: then be mad when they're like, whoa are we gonna

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Speaker 1: get it?

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Speaker 2: You have kids. You need to be understanding. I'm your friend.

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Speaker 2: I don't wants contained. You're not gonna get it. It's gone.

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Speaker 2: I'm burning. I was so desperate. I was relaxing my hair.

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Speaker 2: I know I need to drop the cream and crack

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Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I know this, I know

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Speaker 2: this shit burns some ship off. I just took a

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Speaker 2: little bit of that relaxer, bitch, I put it on

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Speaker 2: that did it burn?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: No, get a scar. I don't give a fuck. I'll

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Speaker 2: take a scar over the molluscous contagiosis.

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Speaker 1: But it's probably not about burning it off. It's probably

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Speaker 1: something underneath the skin.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. They said, as long as like if

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Speaker 2: you touch it, you could you it could become contagious.

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Speaker 2: But you're not touching it. But I showed you the

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Speaker 2: one in my stomach. They're literally burnt off. Okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: they look like scabs. Yeah, because I'm burning it. Okay,

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Speaker 2: all right, if you guys encounter this, call me. I'll

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Speaker 2: tell you what to do. Just criping the DMS. I'll

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Speaker 2: tell you how I got ready to.

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Speaker 1: Take a little hair relaxer, rub it off on there, No, baky,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure this is not Please don't take my medical

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Speaker 1: advice even though it's working.

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Speaker 2: Okay, two days Melissa's contagios is gone. Oh my god. Anyway,

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Speaker 2: So our last episode is with Scary Moms, and I

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Speaker 2: hope that you listen to both us on both outlabs.

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Speaker 2: It's actually fucking hilarious because I was drunk as fuck,

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Speaker 2: and Carrie and Ashley were funny as fun and it

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00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,399
Speaker 2: was like, honestly the most professional setting we'd ever recorded.

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Speaker 2: There was like a producer, there was like an assistant,

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Speaker 2: there was two sound people, and then like in a

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Speaker 2: recording studio, and I came late and drunk and I

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Speaker 2: called them a bitch a couple of times on an accident,

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Speaker 2: but anyway, they loved us. So yeah, I'm so in contact.

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Speaker 2: It worked out. What's going on with you? I went

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Speaker 2: to the beach.

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Speaker 1: I went to the beach, had a solo self care

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Speaker 1: day It's nice, which was like really necessary. I almost

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Speaker 1: didn't do it. I almost called you to come with me,

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Speaker 1: and then I was like, now I need to go

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Speaker 1: by myself. I really need to like learn how to

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Speaker 1: be okay by myself.

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Speaker 2: I know me too, I'm working on it. I'm never done.

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Speaker 2: I'm not good at that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like it's like, okay, if I want to

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Speaker 1: be better at being by myself in like the man department,

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Speaker 1: then I also have to like work on it, just

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Speaker 1: in like my daily life. So I woke up and

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Speaker 1: I really had nothing in a pressing to do.

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Speaker 2: Well. I probably did, but I was like fuck it.

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Speaker 2: And so I decided.

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I'm gonna go to

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Speaker 1: the beach Iris with her dad for the next two days.

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Speaker 1: And so I went there. I brought my White Claw

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Speaker 1: shout out to Donna. Donna from from our meetup. She

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Speaker 1: brought this brand called white Claw. She was advocating for

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Speaker 1: hard Yeah, whitelaw for you. And then you know what,

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Speaker 1: I looked all over the can, even at the beach.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't tell you what kind of spiked with. It

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00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,359
Speaker 1: doesn't say what liquor. It is just as spiked, like

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Speaker 1: it could just literally be rubbing out.

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Speaker 2: It tastes like that. But you would think they.

379
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 1: Would say, like what if someone has like a like

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Speaker 1: a vodka allergy or something like.

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Speaker 2: I don't know, it's just weird. But it was like this,

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Speaker 2: and I did some yoga on the beach.

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Speaker 1: I did wrote my journal, wrote some really profound things.

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Speaker 1: Oh nic, yeah, you know, and I saw your post

385
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Speaker 1: about writing. And it's funny because I went and saw.

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Speaker 2: A I guess he's a psychic. I don't know if

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Speaker 2: he's a psychic charts.

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Speaker 1: This is years ago, and he told me that in

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Speaker 1: my life, communication is constantly going to be an issue,

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Speaker 1: and the only way to overcome it is I have

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Speaker 1: to start writing.

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Speaker 2: I have to write.

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Speaker 1: And at the time, I was writing a lot because

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Speaker 1: I used to like write music and stuff, and so

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, okay, do that. But I guess

396
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Speaker 1: I don't really write, you know. I mean, I guess

397
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Speaker 1: I write. I would write in my journal back then too,

398
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 1: but I always feel so much better when I do,

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Speaker 1: And so I brought my journal wrote some stuff about

400
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Speaker 1: the ocean. The ocean is so fucking crazy man, beautiful.

401
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,320
Speaker 1: I mean, I have like this very like strong connection

402
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Speaker 1: to it. And I was when I was sitting there,

403
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Speaker 1: I was thinking, like, why is that why, I mean,

404
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,320
Speaker 1: besides the fact I'm a water sign blah blah blah, Like,

405
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:08,600
Speaker 1: why is it that the ocean brings me like peace

406
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 1: and like forces me to breathe? And I think a

407
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 1: lot of it too, is like I spent a lot

408
00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:19,159
Speaker 1: of time there with my grandfather and I don't know,

409
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 1: it just it brings me back to childhood of just

410
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Speaker 1: like having really like good times, like without any interruption.

411
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Speaker 2: And also it's just so pure.

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Speaker 1: Like nature in itself, like the ocean in particular is well,

413
00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 1: it's not really pure because of pollution. But it's pure

414
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Speaker 1: in the way that like it does what it's gonna do,

415
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Speaker 1: gonna do nothing regard.

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00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:42,119
Speaker 2: Nothing is gonna change it.

417
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, the molewarming and the moon whatever will

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Speaker 1: change it.

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Speaker 2: But that's what its natural instinct is like.

420
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Speaker 1: And it's just so it does everything without I don't know,

421
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Speaker 1: I'm gonna feel like people are gonna think I'm high,

422
00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 1: but it does everything without ego. It does everything in

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Speaker 1: just such a pure way.

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Speaker 2: And it's like, that's how I want to live my life.

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00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,920
Speaker 1: And that's because people aren't. People aren't that way. We're

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00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: so jaded. So many things have like influenced us, whether

427
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,640
Speaker 1: or not we want to admit it or not. Whereas

428
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:13,280
Speaker 1: like nature and like the ocean, it's so strong, it's

429
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 1: so majestic, it's so mysterious. It's so like calm, but

430
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: also unforgiving, like it will fucking kill you and not

431
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 1: give a fuck, you know. And so I was having

432
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,960
Speaker 1: all these moments, all these things I was thinking about.

433
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,440
Speaker 2: There took a little nap.

434
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,800
Speaker 1: And then trembling Lippe came to hang out with me

435
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,679
Speaker 1: for a little while, and he was sharing all of

436
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 1: his wholeness with me. And trembling Lippe. If you guys

437
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:43,040
Speaker 1: haven't haven't listened to the podcast from the beginning, He's

438
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:45,280
Speaker 1: like a former guy that I met on Tinder. We're

439
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:51,439
Speaker 1: still friends now. We had a very intense travel story

440
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: you should check out. Uh No, it's not the Safesome.

441
00:22:57,920 --> 00:22:59,560
Speaker 2: No, it was like it was like when we came

442
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,920
Speaker 2: back was like breakups.

443
00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:04,040
Speaker 1: And I don't know, I can't remember what the episode

444
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 1: was called, something about breakups, because it was like we

445
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,600
Speaker 1: broke up, but we didn't really break up roun together.

446
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:14,359
Speaker 2: Anyways. Around July love last last year, in July early August.

447
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so we hung out and then we went

448
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 1: back to his place and we ate, and I learned

449
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 1: a lot of things about men, and that the fact that,

450
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,840
Speaker 1: like now that we are very much platonic, he shares,

451
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,920
Speaker 1: I mean, he's always shared with me things, but now

452
00:23:28,960 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 1: I'm just like, wow.

453
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:34,960
Speaker 2: Men are really course hose straight hose. They really are,

454
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 2: I mean, and like I know not all are, but

455
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,040
Speaker 2: like almost of them. You would look at him and

456
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,760
Speaker 2: you would not think like.

457
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: You just wouldn't think like he's just he's fucking every day,

458
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: not like he's not attracted at all, Like that's not

459
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:50,160
Speaker 1: what I'm saying.

460
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:51,159
Speaker 2: It's just like, oh, he's a grown man.

461
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,480
Speaker 1: He's kind of nerdy, Like he's like, you know, he's

462
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: doing this thing like who has time, He's running his

463
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:57,200
Speaker 1: own business.

464
00:23:57,240 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 2: Like nope, they make bad time. They make that time.

465
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,359
Speaker 2: Oh for sure. Yeah.

466
00:24:02,359 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 1: His girlfriend had just literally come to pick up her

467
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 1: star's ex girlfriend they broke up. I had literally come just

468
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: to come pick up her stuff, and we had where

469
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:12,280
Speaker 1: at the beach when this was happening. I mean, I

470
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:13,919
Speaker 1: didn't know this was happening until he told me. And

471
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,639
Speaker 1: then I was like, wait, we're gonna go by to

472
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 1: your house?

473
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 2: Is that okay?

474
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,199
Speaker 1: Like obviously we're not dating anymore. I just didn't know

475
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 1: if that was cool. He was like, no, it's fine.

476
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:25,240
Speaker 1: So we get there and she's gone, and then you know,

477
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 1: he proceeds to try to you know.

478
00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,040
Speaker 2: Flirt and get me to you know, look up.

479
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 1: With him, and I'm just like looking at him, and

480
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 1: I literally was just like.

481
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,520
Speaker 2: Like, are you trying to get me to be her?

482
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 2: Like pacified just broke up. Sets.

483
00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 1: I don't even think it was that. I think he's

484
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: just horny. Yeah, it is even like not even that.

485
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,399
Speaker 1: And I told him like straight up, like you have

486
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 1: no compassion, and he's like, what do you mean? I

487
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,880
Speaker 1: was like, your ex girlfriend literally was just here ten

488
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: minutes ago getting her shit out of here, and you

489
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 1: were trying to pu your dick in my back, Like

490
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 1: what is happening.

491
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 2: In the world? And I mean we were laughing about it,

492
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 2: but I was like, wow, care, they don't care. They

493
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:12,240
Speaker 2: don't care. I mean, like, do you think men are

494
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 2: so physically driven by their boners that literally, like even

495
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,160
Speaker 2: when I even like when I went through Young Fay's

496
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,760
Speaker 2: millions of whores. I don't even call them horse he's

497
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 2: the horse women. And I confronted him because I'm crazy.

498
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 2: He was just like, I have needs. I'd be horny, babe.

499
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:36,080
Speaker 2: I'm like, what ten bitches horny? Like I'm horny? Can

500
00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:40,639
Speaker 2: women twenty four hours horny? I leave twenty four hours ago? Horny? Yeah?

501
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:45,760
Speaker 2: Like you had to fuck why I went up the street? Thanks?

502
00:25:46,160 --> 00:25:46,320
Speaker 2: Is it?

503
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: Is?

504
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 2: It? Just like physically, it's just like they their testosterone

505
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,720
Speaker 2: is just seeping from their pores. They have to let

506
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 2: it out and get one out. I mean I think

507
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,919
Speaker 2: so he's like I masturbate every day, I take a shower.

508
00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 2: I'm like isn't that enough?

509
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I mean seriously, I mean, I mean

510
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,639
Speaker 1: I masturbate every day too, not every day, but pretty

511
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 1: much really.

512
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:11,159
Speaker 2: Maybe like okay, like four times a week, okay, but

513
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 2: not in the morning. But I didn't fuck every day.

514
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 1: No, I mean, if I had a man, I would,

515
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:18,360
Speaker 1: but I'm not gonna go seek out that every day.

516
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:20,119
Speaker 2: Like that's a lot of work. I mean I go,

517
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,879
Speaker 2: I get under spells and like super horny, but like,

518
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 2: for the most part, a lot of work.

519
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:28,359
Speaker 1: But anyway, it was cool to gain that access that

520
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,280
Speaker 1: not that information, but all that unfiltered information.

521
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:34,719
Speaker 2: But to have a better perspective on men in general

522
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,679
Speaker 2: or him. I mean, obviously he doesn't.

523
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 1: He's not like the standard this he's not like the

524
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,160
Speaker 1: mascot for all men. But it's just it's just interesting

525
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,440
Speaker 1: because he is, like he's not like.

526
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:50,680
Speaker 2: In the entertainment industry.

527
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 1: He's what women would say, like is safe. He doesn't

528
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 1: have a crazy job like you.

529
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 2: Know, and didn't pop bottles every week.

530
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:03,440
Speaker 1: No, he's chill, does yoga, he's like self aware, he reads,

531
00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: he's down to travel. He's like a lot of women's

532
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:07,679
Speaker 1: dream girl. And I even told him, I said, you know,

533
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,000
Speaker 1: I said, you are rare in the way that, like

534
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 1: last weekend he went to the Chicago to go see

535
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 1: a girl he likes, like he's not gonna like.

536
00:27:15,359 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 2: But like I don't.

537
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: I don't meet men that are down to just jump

538
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,879
Speaker 1: on a plane and just go hang out and just

539
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,320
Speaker 1: do something fun, and like that's it. He was, He's

540
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,399
Speaker 1: rare in that way, and I'm like that, you know,

541
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,359
Speaker 1: And so I haven't been I haven't been able to

542
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: find that type of connection with someone.

543
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 2: But obviously I need more than just that. It's not

544
00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,240
Speaker 2: annoying when they have like one or two things, but

545
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:40,040
Speaker 2: a five fucking annoying. Yeah, but that was cool.

546
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: Other than that, I mean, yeah, I've just been really

547
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,880
Speaker 1: settling into this alone thing. Like I really am very

548
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 1: very single. I've been single for two years. But like

549
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:54,800
Speaker 1: there was a time where I was very distracted by

550
00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:59,040
Speaker 1: Happy Bay and now I'm very single. And at first

551
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,000
Speaker 1: I was, like I think last week I was feeling

552
00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,119
Speaker 1: anxious and like kind of sad and depressed and needy,

553
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: like I even went over to some guy's house to

554
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: make out. Who oh and and.

555
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:20,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then I was laud I mean, and nothing happened.

556
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,160
Speaker 1: We just made out this week. He called me actually

557
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 1: yesterday and I didn't answer. I was like, no, I

558
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,000
Speaker 1: feel like I'm getting better at it. I feel like

559
00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,239
Speaker 1: I'm getting a little more comfortable with even with like

560
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,439
Speaker 1: just saying no, just saying no, even like yesterday, like

561
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: with trembling lippee trying to get on me.

562
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 2: I was horny. His stick was out, I know, because

563
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 2: someone liked me. I'd be like, hey, I fuck it.

564
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 2: Yeah you No.

565
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: I'm not saying yeah, but like yeah, yeah, I feel

566
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:45,800
Speaker 1: like he you know, he should come. And then we

567
00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: cooked dinner together. He was coming up behind me and

568
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 1: trying to kiss me, and I was like do no.

569
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:51,959
Speaker 1: And then he was like, I need to learn how

570
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 1: to be friends with women. I'm like, you don't know

571
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:54,840
Speaker 1: how to be friends with women. And honestly, I don't

572
00:28:54,840 --> 00:28:56,240
Speaker 1: even know why we're what are we doing?

573
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:56,680
Speaker 2: Are do you?

574
00:28:56,720 --> 00:28:58,360
Speaker 1: I'm like, are we friends? He's like, yeah, you know,

575
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:01,320
Speaker 1: we're friends. And I'm like, I'm like, but you want

576
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 1: to have sex with me? He's like well yeah, I'm

577
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 1: like okay, but and but most women would be like

578
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 1: that would turn them on, and it did kind of

579
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,640
Speaker 1: turn me on. Well, but that was almost just enough.

580
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 1: Of what I needed, just.

581
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 2: That that was just that he wanted to Yeah, I see.

582
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 2: I find like recently, I went to therapy for the

583
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: first time last week and he made another appointment. I'm

584
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,040
Speaker 2: supposed to go Saturday, but I'm rescheduling because I want

585
00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 2: to say, because your priorities are fucked up. Yeah, pretty much.

586
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. I want to eat oysters. It's a

587
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,800
Speaker 2: ver day weekend. Yeah, that's what I said to myself.

588
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 2: Justified it. I just I've been really examining my habits

589
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 2: and they're the root of those habits because I find

590
00:29:42,320 --> 00:29:47,360
Speaker 2: myself knowing what I need to do and still battling

591
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 2: with like wanting to spend time with people just because

592
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:58,040
Speaker 2: I don't know because there's something that I'm avoiding and

593
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:00,840
Speaker 2: there's something that I'm to be Like, you been this

594
00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 2: way most of your life. Yeah, it takes.

595
00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,800
Speaker 1: Time to unlearn things and you have to like forgive

596
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:06,479
Speaker 1: yourself for that.

597
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 2: It's not gonna be perfect. Well, it's just it's just

598
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 2: interesting to examine it, to be in it and be like,

599
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 2: why are why are you doing this right now? Like

600
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 2: even like I went and hung out like with Luna

601
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,840
Speaker 2: and her dad, and I just like felt myself wanting

602
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 2: to stay. And it's not like we're physical or like

603
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:27,479
Speaker 2: we we hardly really even talk, but it just like

604
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,800
Speaker 2: and I could tell that he wanted me to stay,

605
00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 2: you know, and I and I and I it dawned

606
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 2: on me, like we both have things we've connected over

607
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:38,120
Speaker 2: these many years for so long because it's it was

608
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 2: easy for us to like avoid ourselves with each other,

609
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,000
Speaker 2: so it's so comfortable. And it's just like even with

610
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 2: like you're saying about the ocean, like just being and

611
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,640
Speaker 2: being egoists and like not caring about opinions, just literally

612
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 2: just being Like yesterday, I was feeling hell anxious because

613
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 2: I got a fucking shot of espresso my trit and

614
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 2: I'm allergic to caffeine and why I fucking keep drinking it.

615
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 2: I was having major anxiety. And then Danielle left and

616
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 2: for some reason, I just start crying. I just start

617
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,640
Speaker 2: feeling overwhelmed with emotion and I just start crying, and

618
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,520
Speaker 2: then I like let some safe and I start taking

619
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:13,080
Speaker 2: really deep breaths and I just was just like letting

620
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:15,840
Speaker 2: myself cry. I didn't really know, oh I was crying

621
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 2: for like I was crying for a lot of reasons,

622
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 2: you know, like just like this fucking rash. Literally, I

623
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 2: was like, fuck, it's fucking rash and fucking storage and

624
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 2: fucking bills. My phone bill is due. And then I

625
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,200
Speaker 2: was like laughing at myself crying and I was like

626
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:35,680
Speaker 2: taking deep breaths and it's like and I was just like,

627
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 2: it's okay, everything's okay. I was literally saying out loud,

628
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 2: it's okay, everything's okay. You're good, You're good. And I

629
00:31:40,600 --> 00:31:43,920
Speaker 2: was just like, if something major happened today, like if

630
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 2: someone I cared about disappeared, if something happened to me,

631
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 2: what are the things that would actually really matter, Like

632
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 2: the things that I stress about and I like I

633
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 2: care about, Like at the end of the day, I'm

634
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 2: fed and my kid is fed, we're clothes, We're happy,

635
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 2: you know, like I'm I have love in my heart,

636
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,040
Speaker 2: Like I'm happy about those things. And I just was

637
00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,000
Speaker 2: like telling myself chill the fuck out and just be

638
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,959
Speaker 2: and I was just giving myself permission to cry and

639
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 2: to laugh and to breathe and to remind myself, shit's okay,

640
00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 2: Everything's okay. And it was so cleansing, you know, because

641
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 2: so often we're so stressed out about shit and things

642
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 2: and people that we can't fucking control anyway, and it's

643
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 2: just like let that shit go, you know, and I

644
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 2: just let myself be without judging it or observing it.

645
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 2: But I'm just in this space where I'm submitting. I wrote,

646
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 2: did a little writing too, and I was just like this,

647
00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 2: I feel like this is a period of submission of

648
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:43,480
Speaker 2: like whatever's happening right now, allowing it to flow, and

649
00:32:44,360 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 2: just like new paths opening up and allowing that to happen,

650
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 2: and like facilitating that by observing it and making better decisions.

651
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 2: And I know sometimes I'm gonna fuck up, like I'm

652
00:32:55,200 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 2: doing it this weekend, But at least I'm grateful to

653
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 2: be growing and be oh self aware, you know, even

654
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,360
Speaker 2: of the fun shit that I do, because there is

655
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:09,560
Speaker 2: a lot of it. I've literally been like dependent on

656
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 2: other people for like just filling up space in my life,

657
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:20,400
Speaker 2: my whole life, you know, my girlfriends, the guys I date, sex, whatever, drinking.

658
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 2: It's just something that I've always done. And I'm just like,

659
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 2: at what point am I going to really fall in

660
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 2: love with myself enough to not feel urged to just

661
00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:37,120
Speaker 2: be around people all the time. So well, I think that.

662
00:33:37,200 --> 00:33:39,240
Speaker 1: I mean also like that, I think that is part

663
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:41,480
Speaker 1: of who you are too though, and also that and

664
00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 1: then like and so it gets confusing and that where's

665
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: the balance? How do I find the balance?

666
00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,040
Speaker 2: Because I really do find fun and like meeting new people.

667
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 2: And then I was battling about going to San Francisco

668
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:51,160
Speaker 2: and at first I was like, I'm not gonna go,

669
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 2: and then I was like, he's like, you know, just come,

670
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,080
Speaker 2: and I was just like, what the truth is? Like,

671
00:33:55,240 --> 00:33:56,720
Speaker 2: am I going to fall in love over the weekend?

672
00:33:56,760 --> 00:33:58,840
Speaker 2: I doubt it, But I think he's cool. I think

673
00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:00,880
Speaker 2: we're gonna have fun time, and I think we're the

674
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:04,000
Speaker 2: same in that space. Like I'm spontaneous, I like to explore.

675
00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 2: I like to do new things and new people, and

676
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 2: I think that's that's fun for me. So there is

677
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 2: like honoring who I am and also founding boundaries and

678
00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 2: limits and when I'm avoiding myself by doing those things,

679
00:34:16,120 --> 00:34:21,080
Speaker 2: you know, So I that's true, Like I'm still learning

680
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 2: myself and I'm still giving myself permission to be, you know,

681
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 2: like how I am, because I'm not going to be

682
00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:29,920
Speaker 2: just like you or just like this person. Like everybody's different,

683
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 2: and I really enjoy people, and I really enjoy meeting

684
00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 2: new people and connecting with people and hearing new stories

685
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:39,319
Speaker 2: and like that brings me joy, you know, to bring

686
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:42,440
Speaker 2: other people joy and just to listen. Sometimes I think

687
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:43,200
Speaker 2: it's just like you have.

688
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:45,680
Speaker 1: Like I think the balance is finding like when you're

689
00:34:45,719 --> 00:34:48,840
Speaker 1: not when you're enjoying people but not running away from

690
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 1: my responsibilities and yourself in order to enjoy those people.

691
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 2: Right, you know, that's like I can only give once

692
00:34:56,160 --> 00:35:00,640
Speaker 2: I've given enough to myself. You need to be more

693
00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,760
Speaker 2: like the ocean. I want to be like the ocean literally,

694
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 2: And I was that too.

695
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: Was so I was watching the birds too, and they

696
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: were just there was this bird and it was just

697
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 1: like staring at the ocean, like sitting on the sand,

698
00:35:12,200 --> 00:35:13,240
Speaker 1: just staring at the ocean.

699
00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 2: I was like, I wonder what that bird's thinking about.

700
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 1: And I wonder, like he probably is enjoying this so

701
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: much more than I am, because your mind is like one.

702
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,800
Speaker 1: Because in my mind, though I'm enjoying it, I'm also

703
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,239
Speaker 1: like being my mind is being infiltrated by a bunch

704
00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 1: of shit that doesn't fucking matter, and I'm having to

705
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,000
Speaker 1: keep having to force myself to focus focus, be present,

706
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 1: be present, be present, Like literally, I like, I noticed

707
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 1: how many fucking times I had to remind myself.

708
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 2: To be present me too. In there was nothing else

709
00:35:42,360 --> 00:35:43,240
Speaker 2: I needed to be doing.

710
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,839
Speaker 1: I was at the place I wanted to be, you know,

711
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: Nobody was calling me, no one was stressing me out,

712
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 1: you know, and it was just like damn, it's like

713
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 1: so much stimulation in this world too.

714
00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 2: It's it's it.

715
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,960
Speaker 1: We're overstimulated between our flat I don't think our brain

716
00:36:00,160 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 1: were made for this, like for all these phones and.

717
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 2: Computer everybody else's lives, like literally non so.

718
00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:09,800
Speaker 1: And like our evolution is being pushed at such a

719
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,120
Speaker 1: high rate like that we can't catch up. Like evolution

720
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,879
Speaker 1: happened slowly and like we had time to assimilate and

721
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: like digest. Now it's like everything's happening so fast that

722
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 1: I feel like our brains are like.

723
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 2: Wait, what what? Who are hard to? Who am I?

724
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:26,040
Speaker 2: Who am I? Do I like this? I hate this?

725
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 2: I hate this. I don't like this part of me?

726
00:36:27,360 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 2: Do I like this part of me? I want to

727
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:32,879
Speaker 2: be like you. It's just so much overstimulation. And that's

728
00:36:32,920 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 2: why we do have to come back to ourselves. We

729
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 2: do have to like quiet, you have we have to

730
00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 2: practice being present because we're so stimulated to do otherwise

731
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:45,239
Speaker 2: there's so much distraction. Even while I was meditating, I

732
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:48,279
Speaker 2: was like thinking about, oh shit, we need to post this,

733
00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 2: and I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with me? No?

734
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 2: Me too.

735
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:52,960
Speaker 1: When I was at the beach, I was like, I

736
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 1: don't even make a story for work. And I did

737
00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:57,480
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, and I was like,

738
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm not going to judge myself for this.

739
00:36:59,320 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 2: That's too.

740
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 1: It's like the judging of yourself for doing things also

741
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:06,040
Speaker 1: that that then that then makes you feel worse, even worse,

742
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 1: you know.

743
00:37:07,320 --> 00:37:08,359
Speaker 2: So I was just like.

744
00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,439
Speaker 1: Trying to But I will say even though like my

745
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 1: my my self care day was not perfect in the

746
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: way like I felt like because I am I because

747
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 1: I want to be this like super present person. Sometimes

748
00:37:19,640 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 1: that comes with a feeling of guilt when you're not.

749
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 1: I think most of the time it does feels like,

750
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:26,439
Speaker 1: oh do it. I didn't accomplish my goal today, which

751
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:31,120
Speaker 1: was just to just shut my brain off. But I

752
00:37:31,160 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 1: will say that like the past two weeks, like I've

753
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,800
Speaker 1: been feeling very tired, and I've been haven't been treating

754
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 1: myself well, like I've been eating well, I've been drinking a.

755
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 2: Lot, not sleeping well.

756
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:46,239
Speaker 1: And after yesterday, I woke up today and felt like, Okay,

757
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 1: I'm ready to like I'm gonna go to the gym.

758
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:50,920
Speaker 2: Well, tonight's like a super moon. And so I think

759
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 2: there is a shift. I mean, obviously I had this

760
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 2: strange meditative breakthrough yesterday, but and I've been I've been

761
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 2: really feeling that too, because you know, September first will

762
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 2: be at We're in the last quarter. We're in the

763
00:38:05,080 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 2: last quarter of this year, and it's insane. I know,

764
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,400
Speaker 2: it's crazy, and I'm like, Okay, I have four months

765
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,719
Speaker 2: to be to do things differently, you know, like I've

766
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:16,640
Speaker 2: been living my whole life doing this, this and that. Well,

767
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 2: you don't have four months. You have your whole life.

768
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 1: Don't put that much pressure on yourself. And that's the problem. Yeah,

769
00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:26,319
Speaker 1: you have, you have every day. It's like you're not

770
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:31,360
Speaker 1: gonna like become this other person next week, like little

771
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: tiny steps, but just try to make them like you're

772
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:35,919
Speaker 1: gonna fuck up and you're gonna go backwards. And that's

773
00:38:35,920 --> 00:38:38,240
Speaker 1: like what I was I've been trying to remind myself

774
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:40,400
Speaker 1: because I'm one of those people that like I want

775
00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 1: everything to happen perfect quickly, Like why do I feel

776
00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:44,759
Speaker 1: this way? Why do I feel this way? I hate

777
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 1: that I feel this way. I'm judging myself for feeling

778
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 1: this way. And it's like, okay, like what's that's? What's

779
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 1: that saying like something wasn't built overnight?

780
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 2: I don't know.

781
00:38:56,120 --> 00:39:03,439
Speaker 1: It's like some Romans, but like Pisa, that leaning ass

782
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 1: tower clearly was built.

783
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:10,720
Speaker 2: So yeah, I've just been.

784
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 1: Yeah this baby steps, Try not to be so hard

785
00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:21,879
Speaker 1: on yourself, you know. And like if you're going to say,

786
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,759
Speaker 1: I don't like you said earlier that you're going your back,

787
00:39:24,760 --> 00:39:27,839
Speaker 1: you're backstepping by going to San Francisco this weekend, why

788
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 1: you're not backstepping like you know? I mean, it doesn't

789
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,719
Speaker 1: mean you have to fuck this guy. I'm not, but

790
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,120
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, like know that though. Do you think

791
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:36,879
Speaker 1: I need to tell him that? No, it's your fucking choice.

792
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:37,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I don't have.

793
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: But that's the thing though, is women like because men

794
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 1: fly us out or they do this, but sometimes we

795
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:42,120
Speaker 1: feel like.

796
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:43,600
Speaker 2: Oh well fine, that's what my girl said. She's like,

797
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 2: you're gonna have to fuck I was like, no, I'm not.

798
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 2: I'm like, why would I My girlfriend was look at

799
00:39:48,560 --> 00:39:50,279
Speaker 2: my crazy. She's like, it's very two thousand and six

800
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:51,879
Speaker 2: of you. But you guys gonna know what sex.

801
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:55,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't think I went to right and

802
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 1: that was a true test because I'm not like that.

803
00:39:57,000 --> 00:40:00,680
Speaker 1: I felt pressured, right, and he's still your friend, He's

804
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:01,320
Speaker 1: still my friend.

805
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm not. I'm not going with down that

806
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 2: narrative because I don't and don't try.

807
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 1: To search for attraction if it's not there, you know,

808
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 1: because sometimes I feel like that's what we do too,

809
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 1: Like we try to find something attractive in someone really.

810
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 2: Well, the part about me is like it's very easy

811
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,440
Speaker 2: for me to find attractive parts of people because I

812
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:24,040
Speaker 2: like people, and I I just I find it easy

813
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:26,400
Speaker 2: to love people and be attracted to different things about people,

814
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,799
Speaker 2: Like it's not a standard, but I need to work

815
00:40:28,840 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 2: on like not well only just finding it, like is

816
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:33,800
Speaker 2: it really like a true The only.

817
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 1: Thing that about that The reason why I think you

818
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:38,919
Speaker 1: should try not all the time is because you're you're

819
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 1: literally like giving like you're giving energy away to that

820
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,200
Speaker 1: I know, and then you're taking on their energy. That's

821
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: a lot because we are energy people. We're really based

822
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 1: in that. I feel like that's why we have a connection,

823
00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:49,680
Speaker 1: you know.

824
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 2: And it can be exhausting.

825
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:53,640
Speaker 1: And when you do that, you don't have a lot

826
00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 1: of energy left for yourself, and all the work that

827
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: you want to do is being wasted on all the

828
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:00,799
Speaker 1: energy you're giving everyone else. So then when it's time

829
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 1: to work on yourself, it feels overwhelming, right because you

830
00:41:03,680 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 1: have nothing left to give.

831
00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:07,359
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you know what song wish you used

832
00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:11,480
Speaker 2: for this? It's all about me, me, me, me, me

833
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 2: you you you you. I'm gonna get it up, get

834
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:27,759
Speaker 2: get it away. Sorry, no, we haven't used that. I

835
00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 2: don't think. Sorry, that was an easy, quick distraction. But

836
00:41:34,560 --> 00:41:38,200
Speaker 2: you're right. And Danielle just has this conversation with me about, uh,

837
00:41:38,360 --> 00:41:40,959
Speaker 2: that I give away too much energy and that that's

838
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 2: exhausting and that it takes away And that's true, it's true,

839
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,319
Speaker 2: and I have to be able to better monitor. Well,

840
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 2: you've been doing it for so long you probably don't

841
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:48,319
Speaker 2: even know.

842
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like any doesn't feel like you're giving

843
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: away energy, Yeah, because it's.

844
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 2: What you're an autopilot.

845
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:57,160
Speaker 1: But imagine if you start taking away some of it,

846
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 1: which might feel unnatural at first look, changed feels unnatural.

847
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like you feel like I'm not this

848
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 1: isn't me, this is not who I am. So then

849
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 1: you're like, fuck this, I'm going back to how I was.

850
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 2: But it's like if change was easy, everyone would be

851
00:42:10,440 --> 00:42:13,600
Speaker 2: fucking doing it everyone, and they're not. So I just

852
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,799
Speaker 2: feel like, what did I see? What did I say?

853
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:17,439
Speaker 2: What did I see?

854
00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:17,560
Speaker 4: On?

855
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 2: That was like a meme? Like my biggest flex of

856
00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:21,520
Speaker 2: twenty nineteen is like.

857
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 1: Retracting people's access to me, Like that's the biggest flex.

858
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:28,680
Speaker 2: I think, I think, I think I posted it and

859
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 2: it was like I really liked me too. People don't

860
00:42:31,080 --> 00:42:33,400
Speaker 2: like people who thought they had access to me don't. Yeah,

861
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,239
Speaker 2: And I think it's true. And I even was thinking

862
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,959
Speaker 2: about like because I've been of course I've thought about

863
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,480
Speaker 2: Young Bay and it's but I've realized it's a lot.

864
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 2: It's a lot of based an ego like talking like

865
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,319
Speaker 2: just just ego based thoughts, cender thoughts about like him

866
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 2: talking to other people and like missing him or whatever.

867
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 2: And it just dawned on me that why do I

868
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 2: care so much about someone who's like really not caring

869
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 2: that much about me, how dumb, And I was just

870
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,240
Speaker 2: like release that. Like release people who like if someone

871
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:10,719
Speaker 2: doesn't meet your standards and like respect you or give

872
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:13,359
Speaker 2: you as much energy as you give, it should be

873
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:16,000
Speaker 2: no problem to cut that shit off. It shouldn't even

874
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 2: I shouldn't even think about it twice. You know what

875
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:21,200
Speaker 2: I'm saying, like people who don't like the truth is

876
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 2: there's we use people, We use each other, and we

877
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,280
Speaker 2: should we should be utilizing each other in positive ways

878
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:31,040
Speaker 2: to motivate, to inspire, to love on whatever. But once

879
00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:35,480
Speaker 2: it's not a mutual exchange, there's no need for certain

880
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,319
Speaker 2: energies and people to be in your life. And you

881
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:40,160
Speaker 2: really shouldn't mourn them when they're gone because they don't

882
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:41,640
Speaker 2: fucking contribute well.

883
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 1: I think you have to mourn them or else you

884
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: go back. Yeah, you have to, like you, I mean

885
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,799
Speaker 1: maybe not everyone. I mean everyone has their own process

886
00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 1: of letting shit go.

887
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,520
Speaker 2: You have to evaluate if what they're contributing is enough

888
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 2: for to maintain the relationship. Do I get enough from

889
00:44:01,480 --> 00:44:05,600
Speaker 2: you that this is feels good? Is it nourishing me

890
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 2: in spirit? You know? And if not, if it's just

891
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,880
Speaker 2: heartache and fucking me giving giving What the fuck is

892
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:14,839
Speaker 2: the point? That's in friendships, that's in romantic relationships, that's

893
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 2: in any work relationships.

894
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 1: Like if you're now, it's like you want to know

895
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:21,560
Speaker 1: that what all the energy that you're putting in you're

896
00:44:21,600 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: getting it back from that person.

897
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,040
Speaker 2: Then you deserve that and we deserve that.

898
00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,000
Speaker 1: It's you know, but a lot of times we'll take

899
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:30,799
Speaker 1: what we can get, right, which is the problem. Take

900
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 1: what we can get and hope because there's moments where

901
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:34,960
Speaker 1: they do give it and then we hold on to

902
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:38,280
Speaker 1: those moments and not looking at the whole picture of like, Okay,

903
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,440
Speaker 1: that was on Monday, but on Wednesday, the nigga was

904
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: not calling me back, and Thursday and Friday and he

905
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:43,319
Speaker 1: still ain't called me.

906
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 2: Oh but there he is on Monday again. To tell

907
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:48,080
Speaker 2: them about the excel sheet the mom told you about.

908
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:52,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, So I hung out with.

909
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,560
Speaker 2: One of IRI's friends at school's.

910
00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 1: Moms and she's been married for a long time and

911
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,120
Speaker 1: she told me that because I told her I'm single,

912
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:02,680
Speaker 1: and she was like, okay, well this is what you

913
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 1: need to do. You need to create an excel sheet

914
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 1: first of all, like actually an excel sheet, like you

915
00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:08,799
Speaker 1: can't do this in your head.

916
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, And she's like.

917
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's like, you need to date at least seventy people.

918
00:45:14,280 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 2: I thought she said one hundred.

919
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 1: I was like, or she still like seventy to one

920
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:19,359
Speaker 1: hundred people, And I was like wait what She's like, yeah,

921
00:45:19,719 --> 00:45:22,880
Speaker 1: it's crucial, and she's like and so on the Excel sheet,

922
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:26,440
Speaker 1: like everyone starts at the bottom and they.

923
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:27,239
Speaker 2: Work themselves up.

924
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:30,560
Speaker 1: So like say you go on a date with Bobby, Okay,

925
00:45:30,680 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 1: that's not a good one. Say you going to bait

926
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:37,959
Speaker 1: or Day with Tommy. Tommy doesn't. Tommy buys dinner, Okay,

927
00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,440
Speaker 1: he goes up. You go on a date with Greg,

928
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 1: Greg buys dinner, okay, he goes up. Want to date

929
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 1: with Tommy, he decides to split the bill.

930
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:46,160
Speaker 2: He goes down.

931
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,200
Speaker 1: Greg's still up. So these guys, they work up the

932
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,200
Speaker 1: list until you see who is in the top like

933
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 1: three of your dating list. And she's like, for me,

934
00:45:55,120 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 1: like I really like a guy that is What did

935
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 1: she say? How did she describe him? I don't know,

936
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 1: like guy's gonna chase her or something. She's like, obviously

937
00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: everyone's things that are important are different, so you have

938
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: to decide what those things are and how you move

939
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: them up the list.

940
00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 2: So I was like, huh, not that organized.

941
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 1: Maybe I can have Niche to make this listen, I

942
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,840
Speaker 1: can like send her notes every week, like maybe like

943
00:46:21,880 --> 00:46:23,480
Speaker 1: once she make the list, it'll be easy.

944
00:46:23,680 --> 00:46:26,200
Speaker 2: So maybe we can have anisia like make make an

945
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:29,439
Speaker 2: like sixty people.

946
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 1: We'll just send her a text every day and be

947
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,239
Speaker 1: like hey, so he's went.

948
00:46:37,480 --> 00:46:39,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know how that works, but it probably

949
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:45,520
Speaker 2: does work, though I don't know. I don't know.

950
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:48,080
Speaker 1: I'm just kind of like, I mean, I'm I'm I'm

951
00:46:48,160 --> 00:46:50,240
Speaker 1: like chatting with people and stuff, but I'm.

952
00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:53,920
Speaker 2: So like, but you know, thinking about like being chased.

953
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:59,399
Speaker 2: I've come to the conclusion recently, like unless you're mad

954
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:05,439
Speaker 2: crazy into me, boldly loudly, I don't want it. I'm good,

955
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:09,879
Speaker 2: like uh, indifferent too, chill to relax, like I want

956
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 2: to be pursued me too. I mean, I think it's

957
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:17,320
Speaker 2: a part of like the male female. I think guys

958
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 2: have become so fucking there's just too much access. There's

959
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,719
Speaker 2: too many horrores out there giving away the milk, and

960
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 2: the guys are just they don't still know how to

961
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:29,759
Speaker 2: act anymore. And I was hanging out with Nan heard

962
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,280
Speaker 2: this dis guy she's dating who's from Texas, and he's like, literally,

963
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,440
Speaker 2: LA's the only place where I hear this open fucking

964
00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:38,520
Speaker 2: relationship conversation. He's like, everybody I know in Texas is married,

965
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 2: already having kids. Everybody. He's like, they were like doing

966
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,319
Speaker 2: that since college, like pursuing people because they knew they

967
00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 2: were gonna be their husband or their wife. He's like,

968
00:47:45,719 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 2: I come to LA, everybody's dating multiple people and it's

969
00:47:48,719 --> 00:47:50,920
Speaker 2: just the norm. He's like, you guys are so fucked up.

970
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:53,960
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, is it an LA thing?

971
00:47:54,080 --> 00:47:56,759
Speaker 2: Are we or all of our listeners disconnected by our

972
00:47:56,840 --> 00:48:00,319
Speaker 2: millions of episodes about being an open relationships? You know,

973
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:02,319
Speaker 2: I don't know it's an LA thing. And I just

974
00:48:02,360 --> 00:48:05,960
Speaker 2: think maybe God, like maybe women like I need to

975
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,719
Speaker 2: step up my standards, Like I could have crossed a

976
00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:10,239
Speaker 2: lot of iguas off the list if I would have

977
00:48:10,280 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 2: used her mechanism sooner.

978
00:48:13,000 --> 00:48:16,319
Speaker 1: Because but just because they show and they like they

979
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:19,400
Speaker 1: do these grand acts whatever whatever those acts may be,

980
00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 1: whether like it's I don't know, posting you on Instagram

981
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:27,839
Speaker 1: like women Crush Wednesday or whatever the fuck it used

982
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 1: to and it only used to because it never happened.

983
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,520
Speaker 1: It would bother me, right, you know, because I was

984
00:48:33,520 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 1: in you know, with with my baby daddy, Like I

985
00:48:36,719 --> 00:48:42,400
Speaker 1: posted him all the time, and he never never posted. Really,

986
00:48:42,560 --> 00:48:44,600
Speaker 1: I mean, it wasn't a secret we were in a relationship.

987
00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,840
Speaker 1: Anytime we were out, we're always super affectionate. Like everyone

988
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 1: knew he had a woman, but on social media it

989
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: was never that. And I remember there was this one

990
00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:56,719
Speaker 1: post and it pissed me, like I like that broke

991
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 1: up with him. Yeah, he posted a picture of him

992
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:03,400
Speaker 1: in this video and said caption this and like let

993
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 1: everyone caption it and decide, and like that was the

994
00:49:07,000 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: only time he'd ever posted a girl on his Instagram. Well,

995
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 1: and I was like, take that shit down. I was like,

996
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 1: how dare you post another woman? Give people access to

997
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 1: like creating whatever story they wanted, and like you have

998
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 1: a good woman at home, no looking back on it,

999
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:25,240
Speaker 1: Like it's dumb, it's immature, whatever.

1000
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:28,440
Speaker 2: I think, it doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter, and

1001
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 2: like it doesn't matter because I won't do it until

1002
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 2: if you post another female and we're like, then that

1003
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 2: really bothers me, Like if you're with him and then

1004
00:49:38,040 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 2: he posts someone else. Yeah, and even like I was dating,

1005
00:49:40,680 --> 00:49:43,000
Speaker 2: I was just dating young Bay and he posted someone

1006
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:44,160
Speaker 2: else and I knew we were just dating and he

1007
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 2: was saying other people. I knew he went to go

1008
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 2: see this girl. It fucking pissed. It pisses me off

1009
00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,719
Speaker 2: to this day. I'm still mad about it because it's

1010
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:56,200
Speaker 2: just like the audacity. I'm better than that bitch. Why

1011
00:49:56,239 --> 00:49:58,640
Speaker 2: did she like? Why what's so special? And I had

1012
00:49:58,680 --> 00:50:00,880
Speaker 2: other underlying reasons. I feel like he did that, but

1013
00:50:02,719 --> 00:50:05,279
Speaker 2: you know my dark secrets. I mean, I.

1014
00:50:05,160 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: Can't say that it doesn't feel good to get some recognition,

1015
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 1: public display of recognition, and you know.

1016
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 2: That this that I love her. Even when I look

1017
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 2: at other people, like men's pages that I follow, and

1018
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 2: I see them posting their girls a lot, like God,

1019
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:22,879
Speaker 2: this is I'm so lucky or whatever, I'm like, Okay,

1020
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:24,839
Speaker 2: I want a man like this. I want a man

1021
00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:26,680
Speaker 2: that takes pictures of me when I'm not asking and

1022
00:50:26,719 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 2: secretly because he just he just is down, is down

1023
00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:32,440
Speaker 2: for me. Oh my god, we're I was talking to

1024
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 2: talking to one of our friends at the beach, and

1025
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 2: she was like, I went to my man's phone. I

1026
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:38,200
Speaker 2: don't know what I was looking for. She was like,

1027
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 2: but I felt really I felt really happy because I

1028
00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 2: found a whole folder dedicated to my ass, my secret

1029
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,279
Speaker 2: photos of my ass, just my ass. Oh my god,

1030
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 2: that's the cutest thing. That's over. She's like, so I

1031
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:52,279
Speaker 2: let it go. I just like twit the phone down

1032
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:53,359
Speaker 2: is that cute?

1033
00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 1: I want a secret photo dedicated to me me too,

1034
00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 1: That's really sweet.

1035
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:02,520
Speaker 2: That was really sweet. But like I'm I'm I realize now,

1036
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 2: at thirty one years old, I deserve someone who loves

1037
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 2: me like that, you know what I'm saying. Not to

1038
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:10,680
Speaker 2: say everybody loves the same way, but a that's how

1039
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 2: I need to be loved and be like I deserve that.

1040
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:17,320
Speaker 2: I love that way. I love boldly, I love loudly.

1041
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 1: Well, you have to find someone that that's their lovely language,

1042
00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: because that's not how everyone expresses their love for you

1043
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:26,000
Speaker 1: for people.

1044
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 2: I love that.

1045
00:51:27,680 --> 00:51:29,640
Speaker 1: Hinge also has that on the app, like what's your

1046
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:37,040
Speaker 1: love language? Yeah, physical tich, quality time food. Mine is

1047
00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:39,400
Speaker 1: physical touch and quality time for sure.

1048
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:46,239
Speaker 2: And gifts mine's affirmation gifts and yeah, affection Like I

1049
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:49,200
Speaker 2: don't want to chase you to like give me a kiss.

1050
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,160
Speaker 2: I want to like us to be making out mostly

1051
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:56,040
Speaker 2: all day. I want like sec I want like Stephanie kisses.

1052
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I need to tell her about that.

1053
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,839
Speaker 2: Oh my god. That was like, Okay, we're at the beach.

1054
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 2: Are friend just had a baby, and I just happened

1055
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 2: to like turn around from the corner of my eye

1056
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:09,640
Speaker 2: and I saw this sexy ass, long low tongue, tongue makeout.

1057
00:52:09,640 --> 00:52:12,440
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, mama a newborn baby. I was like,

1058
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:16,160
Speaker 2: just like, yeah, I want that too. Note to self,

1059
00:52:16,760 --> 00:52:22,759
Speaker 2: long kisses, long time kisses. Oh my god. Yeah. I

1060
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:26,040
Speaker 2: just want to be madly, like have mad chemistry and

1061
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:30,160
Speaker 2: atraction to my man and a mutual you know, like

1062
00:52:30,840 --> 00:52:34,600
Speaker 2: come home right now. I know it's hot. Anyway, I

1063
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:37,319
Speaker 2: just want we should write this down.

1064
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,399
Speaker 1: I mean I want those things, but also I want

1065
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:44,480
Speaker 1: to be okay, like I want I want all those things,

1066
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:47,640
Speaker 1: but I'm more so to try to sweat. I more

1067
00:52:47,719 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 1: so want to be okay. I'm more mad at myself

1068
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:53,640
Speaker 1: that I feel. So it's so like I feel this,

1069
00:52:54,800 --> 00:52:57,160
Speaker 1: it's so necessary for me, Like life is going to

1070
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:58,760
Speaker 1: be better once I find this person.

1071
00:52:59,120 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 2: It's not yeah, like you know what, and I used

1072
00:53:03,080 --> 00:53:06,239
Speaker 2: to I think I want my more so want that

1073
00:53:06,360 --> 00:53:08,600
Speaker 2: feeling to go away. Well, you know what I think

1074
00:53:08,600 --> 00:53:11,480
Speaker 2: it is because I feel the same way. I find

1075
00:53:11,520 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 2: myself in those thoughts, like if I had a partner, then,

1076
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 2: if I had a partner then and I'm like, I

1077
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,440
Speaker 2: gotta stop thinking that, Like, if I had a partner,

1078
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 2: if he would help me, I'd have left financial burden.

1079
00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:22,960
Speaker 2: I'd have someone I can cry on my shoulder, I

1080
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 2: have someone to like brainstorm ideas, I had someone to

1081
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:28,200
Speaker 2: motivate me. These are things that are real. But yeah,

1082
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 2: we have to do that for ourselves. But it's I

1083
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 2: don't think that's bad to think that. I don't think

1084
00:53:34,080 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 2: it's bad, but.

1085
00:53:34,760 --> 00:53:37,120
Speaker 1: I feel like, first of all, a lot of our

1086
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 1: episodes are about my relationships with them.

1087
00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:42,879
Speaker 2: Wow, that's really sad, And are not in our non

1088
00:53:42,920 --> 00:53:45,480
Speaker 2: relationship non relationships with them and are wanting them and

1089
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 2: fuck them? And why can't we were great? Flower? No,

1090
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:51,759
Speaker 2: we're perfect. They suck.

1091
00:53:52,719 --> 00:53:55,040
Speaker 1: And actually, when I was at the beach yesterday, I

1092
00:53:55,080 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 1: was like watching this couple and I almost like, and

1093
00:54:00,520 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 1: this never happens because normally when to witch couples, I

1094
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 1: get jealous.

1095
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:10,319
Speaker 2: I was like, huh, I don't have anyone to like

1096
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,640
Speaker 2: I don't, like, I don't have to consider.

1097
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 1: Anybody that's nice, and like, for that bleak moment, that

1098
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:21,400
Speaker 1: brief moment, I felt like lucky, lucky I did.

1099
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 2: Obviously, I don't feel that way most of the time.

1100
00:54:24,800 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 1: Hopefully I can like expand on that moment and make

1101
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:30,040
Speaker 1: it last longer. But like I was like, oh, that's

1102
00:54:30,080 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 1: what that feels like, the not the need, the not need,

1103
00:54:33,640 --> 00:54:36,480
Speaker 1: the not the need to not feel like I'm missing

1104
00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:38,799
Speaker 1: out because I don't have a partner. And they were

1105
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,919
Speaker 1: totally happy and that was cool, but I kept thinking

1106
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:44,319
Speaker 1: to myself, like, oh, she probably makes decisions based off

1107
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:46,920
Speaker 1: of him, or she feels like she can't do certain

1108
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:49,040
Speaker 1: things because of him, and vice versa. I do not

1109
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 1: miss that, And like that's that usually is when when

1110
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:55,359
Speaker 1: you put that title on a relationship, and that's when

1111
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:56,719
Speaker 1: those those things start coming up.

1112
00:54:56,760 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, can't do that anymore. Oh wait, why would

1113
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:01,360
Speaker 2: you do that? I'm where are you at? Why did

1114
00:55:01,360 --> 00:55:03,960
Speaker 2: you change to the phone? Because I'm a human adult.

1115
00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:05,360
Speaker 2: And so then there's the other side of it. I'm like,

1116
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 2: I want to consider someone.

1117
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,359
Speaker 1: I want to not do shit.

1118
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:12,800
Speaker 2: I shouldn't be doing that shit anyway. I mean I

1119
00:55:12,840 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 2: think like half of the relationships I've ever been in

1120
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,440
Speaker 2: is like to save me for myself. Absolutely. I think, like,

1121
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 2: but you're doing too much get in a relationship.

1122
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:20,719
Speaker 1: Well yeah, I mean we're young, we were most of

1123
00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,279
Speaker 1: us were really young when we started. I mean you've

1124
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 1: been you were with your baby daddy since high school,

1125
00:55:25,719 --> 00:55:28,520
Speaker 1: you know, and I know you've had the relationship since then.

1126
00:55:28,680 --> 00:55:31,480
Speaker 1: But like I started my relationship with mine when I

1127
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:35,320
Speaker 1: was twenty two, twenty one, twenty two, I don't know

1128
00:55:35,360 --> 00:55:38,120
Speaker 1: who the fuck I was then, Like I really and

1129
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:41,720
Speaker 1: I only knew who I was with him throughout my twenties,

1130
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:44,400
Speaker 1: so I didn't really have a stronghold on that either.

1131
00:55:44,560 --> 00:55:47,200
Speaker 1: It's like only these next these last two years, really

1132
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,879
Speaker 1: have I had to really face and figure out who

1133
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:52,120
Speaker 1: am I. And that's why it's like met with so

1134
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:56,080
Speaker 1: much anxiety and met with so much like it feels

1135
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 1: overwhelming on top of also having a child and like

1136
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 1: you know, wanting her, like wanting her to know who

1137
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 1: she is, and I'm like still trying to figure my

1138
00:56:04,600 --> 00:56:05,239
Speaker 1: own shit out.

1139
00:56:05,320 --> 00:56:08,279
Speaker 2: You know. I think people don't realize is you can

1140
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:11,720
Speaker 2: get in a relationship and you can completely lose yourself

1141
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:17,480
Speaker 2: because relationships. Often were told that you have to constantly

1142
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 2: be in consideration of someone else, and you can like

1143
00:56:20,719 --> 00:56:23,160
Speaker 2: mold into what somebody else wants you to be or

1144
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:24,960
Speaker 2: with you, and which you think they expect from you,

1145
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:28,600
Speaker 2: like that period this lasts like five years or whatever.

1146
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 2: When I was with them and his dad, I completely

1147
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:35,320
Speaker 2: lost sight of who I was, like completely, which seems

1148
00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:37,960
Speaker 2: crazy because I'm pretty much who I am, you know,

1149
00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:41,239
Speaker 2: but like there was just I was just in this weird,

1150
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:43,279
Speaker 2: great area and my dad said to me, He's like

1151
00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:47,279
Speaker 2: don't He's like, be careful. You know, you'll forget who

1152
00:56:47,280 --> 00:56:49,319
Speaker 2: you are if you sit in a space too long

1153
00:56:49,640 --> 00:56:52,080
Speaker 2: with someone that's not for you. And I was like, fuck,

1154
00:56:52,320 --> 00:56:54,359
Speaker 2: that's true. And I feel like he felt a lot.

1155
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:56,800
Speaker 2: He felt that way a lot in his relationship and

1156
00:56:56,840 --> 00:57:00,920
Speaker 2: he's like fifty something. So I'm just like even now

1157
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,840
Speaker 2: when I see my friends and relationships and they're like,

1158
00:57:03,840 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, hi, hello, are you in there? Hello? It's

1159
00:57:08,520 --> 00:57:12,319
Speaker 2: you really have to be really careful about the relationships

1160
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:15,080
Speaker 2: you choose to be in a relationship because you will

1161
00:57:15,320 --> 00:57:16,200
Speaker 2: become well.

1162
00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 1: That's why you've got to be so straight on who

1163
00:57:18,600 --> 00:57:20,640
Speaker 1: you are, right, And that's why we have a really

1164
00:57:20,680 --> 00:57:25,240
Speaker 1: special gift right now, an opportunity as single people to

1165
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 1: really do that and like not be so depressed about

1166
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:30,040
Speaker 1: being single, you know.

1167
00:57:30,120 --> 00:57:31,600
Speaker 2: Because I don't think we're going to be in any

1168
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 2: healthy relationship until we're really, say, really clear about who

1169
00:57:35,280 --> 00:57:37,080
Speaker 2: we are, and that will make us clear about who

1170
00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 2: we want and when they come, it'll be easy to

1171
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:41,840
Speaker 2: identify those things that oh no, no, don't like that.

1172
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:43,919
Speaker 2: And I had to think about it because like even

1173
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,160
Speaker 2: with young Bay, like there was things I thought I could,

1174
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:48,000
Speaker 2: like I wanted to change, and I was like trying

1175
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,080
Speaker 2: to plant seeds so his mind would be a little

1176
00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 2: bit more open, Like I know, my thought process is

1177
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 2: not like traditional and I'm just like just in how

1178
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:58,480
Speaker 2: you look at women, how you view women and I

1179
00:57:59,200 --> 00:58:01,000
Speaker 2: you know men. So he's like, well, you're a woman,

1180
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 2: so this or you're that, and I'm like, I'm not

1181
00:58:02,880 --> 00:58:05,520
Speaker 2: settling for an igu who thinks that we're different. Like

1182
00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:08,200
Speaker 2: we're different, but you're not gonna put your needs or

1183
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:12,800
Speaker 2: you're your behavior before mine and justify things just because

1184
00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:14,480
Speaker 2: you're a man. You know what I'm saying, Like there's

1185
00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:16,920
Speaker 2: so many things I need you to be like low

1186
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 2: key a conspiracy theorist. You got to be just really spiritual.

1187
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:23,439
Speaker 2: There's these things that I need that before I would

1188
00:58:23,480 --> 00:58:26,800
Speaker 2: be easy, it would be easy for me to negate

1189
00:58:26,960 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 2: or just be like, oh I can change this or

1190
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:30,360
Speaker 2: change that. But at this point, I don't really have

1191
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 2: a desire to do that. Like, you need to be

1192
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:34,920
Speaker 2: in a certain space and then we can have crazy

1193
00:58:34,960 --> 00:58:36,960
Speaker 2: conversations and maybe you change my mind, but you have

1194
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:42,360
Speaker 2: the least be here. No, we have to. Yeah, I'm yeah, yeah,

1195
00:58:42,400 --> 00:58:52,640
Speaker 2: that's true. It's true. I don't know. So this is

1196
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:56,800
Speaker 2: about us not needing and wanting to be in a

1197
00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:59,880
Speaker 2: relationship all the fucking time. Just be cool.

1198
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:02,080
Speaker 1: I mean this that this week is how That's how

1199
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:04,200
Speaker 1: I feel. Next week I could be like depressed again,

1200
00:59:04,240 --> 00:59:08,439
Speaker 1: who knows, but like I think my one self care

1201
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:12,480
Speaker 1: day has me feeling like I mean, I don't know,

1202
00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:14,240
Speaker 1: I just I really kept thinking about that moment when

1203
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:19,000
Speaker 1: I saw Hey, when I saw that couple, and I

1204
00:59:19,080 --> 00:59:21,960
Speaker 1: wasn't jealous and like or like.

1205
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:23,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just like, damn, I don't have to

1206
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:24,760
Speaker 2: consider anyone.

1207
00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:30,480
Speaker 1: And honestly, when I thought about that, it's something that Happy.

1208
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:31,760
Speaker 2: Bay says to me all the time.

1209
00:59:32,000 --> 00:59:34,840
Speaker 1: And then I was like, Okay, I get where he's

1210
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:37,120
Speaker 1: coming from. I mean, I've been getting where he's coming from.

1211
00:59:37,120 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 1: But I think he might even be farther along on this.

1212
00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 1: I've been single longer than him. I feel like he's

1213
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:47,120
Speaker 1: a little bit farther ahead in his like comfortability being

1214
00:59:47,160 --> 00:59:50,240
Speaker 1: alone than I am. And that's why his that his

1215
00:59:50,520 --> 00:59:54,320
Speaker 1: like need to like be that way annoys me when really,

1216
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:57,040
Speaker 1: like I'm starting to feel.

1217
00:59:56,720 --> 00:59:59,280
Speaker 2: Like the same in a way. What does he always said?

1218
00:59:59,320 --> 01:00:00,640
Speaker 1: He's like I don't want don't want to have to

1219
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:03,200
Speaker 1: consider someone. I don't want to have to consider anyone.

1220
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:05,680
Speaker 2: And that's like so beautiful sometimes, like.

1221
01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:07,080
Speaker 1: Like I'll all I have, all I have to do

1222
01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 1: when I wake up in the morning is consider myself.

1223
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:11,480
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously we don't have that luxury. We have kids,

1224
01:00:11,520 --> 01:00:13,960
Speaker 2: we have to consider them, but like especially because we

1225
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:16,920
Speaker 2: don't have like because we do have the consider kids,

1226
01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:20,040
Speaker 2: but if we want, but if that need to feel

1227
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 2: like we I want to, but I want to consider someone.

1228
01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:25,440
Speaker 1: Okay, we have someone, it's our kid, use that use

1229
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:26,920
Speaker 1: that as someone to consider.

1230
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,440
Speaker 2: That's the most important person. I mean, even if be

1231
01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:31,320
Speaker 2: going on this trip this weekend, Like I haven't done

1232
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 2: anything like that and like and like this in a

1233
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:35,720
Speaker 2: long time, and I'm just like happy I can just

1234
01:00:35,760 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 2: get up and go bye bye. When to go see

1235
01:00:39,240 --> 01:00:41,640
Speaker 2: a stranger, catch you later. Maybe you don't like it,

1236
01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:49,760
Speaker 2: you can come back. You're not far super simple. If

1237
01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:52,919
Speaker 2: any anything else is dead, let's go make a list

1238
01:00:52,960 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 2: of qualities we wanted a man become.

1239
01:00:55,280 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 4: We know.

1240
01:00:57,240 --> 01:01:03,600
Speaker 1: Anything else, not really, I mean, the world is crazy.

1241
01:01:04,640 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 2: People are crazy. People are crazy as fuck.

1242
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:10,880
Speaker 1: And I think we need to We actually have to

1243
01:01:10,880 --> 01:01:14,040
Speaker 1: go because we need to write something really quickly on your.

1244
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:19,120
Speaker 2: Phone in this press sent Oh we do Twitter.

1245
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 1: But anyway, I hope you guys have Oh she looks

1246
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:30,600
Speaker 1: really cute there. I hope you guys have an amazing week.

1247
01:01:31,000 --> 01:01:35,640
Speaker 1: That you consider yourself this week. If you are single,

1248
01:01:35,960 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 1: that you know, kind of just basking it, basking it,

1249
01:01:38,800 --> 01:01:41,720
Speaker 1: embrace it. You have no one to consider, to do

1250
01:01:41,760 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 1: whatever the fuck you want. It's beautiful, Like you're not

1251
01:01:44,960 --> 01:01:49,680
Speaker 1: gonna hurt any motherfucker's feeling, but you're like, just consider yourself,

1252
01:01:49,880 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 1: Like how beautiful is that to just be like, God,

1253
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:53,360
Speaker 1: I love myself, I'm the bomb.

1254
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:59,360
Speaker 2: What am I gonna do for me today? But we'll

1255
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:02,800
Speaker 2: catch you guys next week. If you're in Atlanta or

1256
01:02:02,840 --> 01:02:05,360
Speaker 2: in the Atlanta area, we're having a live show October

1257
01:02:05,400 --> 01:02:09,560
Speaker 2: thirteenth at b q E on Edwood and we would

1258
01:02:09,680 --> 01:02:10,880
Speaker 2: like to see you there.

1259
01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:14,120
Speaker 1: Yes, we're gonna make a link right now, link in

1260
01:02:14,120 --> 01:02:18,720
Speaker 1: our bio for those tickets. Tell your friends, bring a friend,

1261
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:21,440
Speaker 1: bring a friend, bring your mama, and have a drink.

1262
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:26,280
Speaker 2: It's gonna be fun and we'll talk to you guys

1263
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:43,440
Speaker 2: next week. NY Audios, that's lunch