WEBVTT - #85 Kickback Scams and Soda Shams 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:08.319 Start uf dot up, start Up, start Up, Brooklyn Boy 0:00:09.680 --> 0:00:17.560 dot up. They make a noise data episode. I think 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:19.560 I was talking when you started playing the music. Why 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:24.200 you were the Brooklyn Boys podcast. I can't wait anymore. 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:27.200 We sit here in this studio. I don't know if 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:30.600 we're having a prayer circle or where where where We're 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:32.880 just what what are we doing here? What are we doing? 0:00:32.880 --> 0:00:34.680 Why are we seeing? For a half hour before we 0:00:34.720 --> 0:00:38.400 actually hit the record button and go, I don't know. 0:00:38.560 --> 0:00:41.159 We we make up, We're gonna, We're gonna start, and 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:43.680 then we don't stake seance. I think we need to 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:46.120 play the jingle for ourselves to start up, start up. 0:00:47.240 --> 0:00:51.680 If you would see the procrastination that happens before each podcast, 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:54.319 you wouldn't believe it. Okay, I had to go get 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:56.000 my headphones. I forgot them. You have to make a 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:58.440 phone call. Then I had to go to the bad 0:00:58.480 --> 0:01:00.440 in the studio. I'll be right, I can go into 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:03.400 the bathroom. Then you stop, stop and talk to twelve people. Okay. 0:01:03.440 --> 0:01:05.800 Then I came back and you were eating the Eminem's 0:01:05.800 --> 0:01:09.400 out of bag. A hold on, they're not a sponsor 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:12.160 this podcast. They're not they but they are a sponsor 0:01:12.400 --> 0:01:14.720 of the elvstrad Morning show. We love what they're doing. 0:01:14.800 --> 0:01:17.880 They have these special red, white and blue skittles and 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.400 again it's not why we're talking about them. They just 0:01:20.440 --> 0:01:24.000 sent up like ten giant Costco, the Costco not a sponsor, 0:01:24.400 --> 0:01:28.320 like huge bags of skittles and eminem. Here's the problem. 0:01:28.400 --> 0:01:31.000 These are the these are the party size bags. Brot. 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:33.640 I want you to read how many servings of these 0:01:33.640 --> 0:01:38.960 skittles are in one party size bag. It's just two 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:43.080 pounds nine ounces, two pound bags right, okay, by the way, 0:01:43.080 --> 0:01:47.400 that's one point one six kilo. How many serving in 0:01:47.680 --> 0:01:51.160 a container hold? I'm looking it's like fifty something stupid 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:57.000 twenty nine and not for not for us. That's the problem. 0:01:57.640 --> 0:02:00.600 If I see a singular bag of something, you hope 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:03.280 you break it open and you know what all bets 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:07.320 are off a lot of the snack companies. I'm not 0:02:07.360 --> 0:02:09.240 going to mention any names, but you when you you'll 0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.600 see they get you. They'll put on the label a 0:02:12.720 --> 0:02:16.280 hundred calories for serving, and then you look at the bag, 0:02:16.320 --> 0:02:18.959 you go, oh, all right, eleven servings in this bag 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:22.160 because you can't a serving is like I had two 0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:25.480 of them. I had three chips that that's very misleading. 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:27.400 Do you know what a serving of pasta looks like? 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:32.600 I don't. I know what five serving of pastasist? To 0:02:32.680 --> 0:02:34.880 make a fist everyone, if you're listening to this podcast, 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:38.359 a fist, A fistful of pasta, and then you're the 0:02:38.360 --> 0:02:42.959 way my favorite Clinicswood movie A fistful apostas. Great movie. Well, 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:46.440 all I can tell you is that we are absolutely 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:51.000 eating more than we should. We're eating three servings of pasta. 0:02:51.240 --> 0:02:54.440 I was taught to eat three servings of pasta on 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:58.959 a Sunday. Hold on, yeah, right easily. And if you 0:02:59.040 --> 0:03:02.639 go to those oversized places like the Cheesecake Factory and 0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:05.239 Macaroni Grill and Olive Garden, by the way, the places 0:03:05.280 --> 0:03:09.839 aren't oversized, the food is. People are the nice. I'm 0:03:09.880 --> 0:03:13.480 just saying that was scary, you know. But that's why 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:17.959 we're oversized. We are, and myself included, is because they are. 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:22.840 They're giving us three four servings one I listen, I'm 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:25.880 actually you're right because you're a little bigger. Can we 0:03:25.919 --> 0:03:27.959 talk about you being over you said, you're that's why 0:03:27.960 --> 0:03:32.120 we're oversized. You're in second quarter? Scary right now? And 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:34.000 that's a bad that's a bad thing. It's a bad 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:36.600 I need to slow down. Okay, let me explain. So 0:03:36.680 --> 0:03:38.720 you know there's four quarters in a year. Alright, so 0:03:38.880 --> 0:03:42.040 there's four seasons. Yeah, four quarters quarters, So there's four 0:03:42.080 --> 0:03:46.160 seasons of scars. Everyone knows. Quarter one of Scary is 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:48.160 dr fat loss. I get to say, it's not not 0:03:48.200 --> 0:03:54.200 my sponsor, and Scary eats unbelievably healthy, insanely. The program 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:56.240 really works for you, I have to say it does work. 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:03.240 Pounds forty five whatever. He looks fantastic, but that the 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.120 still look fantastic. You look okay, you look good. Oh 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:09.240 you're a dick. You look all right. The program, if 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:11.520 you do it right, takes you through the year. Right, 0:04:11.520 --> 0:04:16.080 you maintain. Scary doesn't always maintain. So second quarter Scary. 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:18.359 It's like the people that go to religious school and 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:20.359 then when the bell rings they run outside and smoke, 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:22.960 and they tie up their shirts and they crop, they pull, 0:04:23.000 --> 0:04:27.440 they get all slutty. Right, Scary gets food slutty. Hashtag 0:04:27.440 --> 0:04:30.800 food slutty. He starts eating and eating and eating because 0:04:31.080 --> 0:04:33.360 for a quarter of the year he was really healthy. 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:35.520 So then he's like, I can gain back five pounds 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:37.680 I'm good because he still looks good. He's wearing he's 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:39.720 wearing smaller size shirts, and he's like, I'm feeling good 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:41.680 about myself. I'm still in my I'm still in my 0:04:41.720 --> 0:04:45.279 first quarter clothing, right, still right that the new clothing 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:47.480 you bought because you lost to that weight. Right. So today, 0:04:47.600 --> 0:04:50.440 perfect example. Elvis mentioned this on a fifty minute morning show. 0:04:50.440 --> 0:04:54.560 But I made the observation as well. We had a client, 0:04:54.640 --> 0:04:56.200 other client of Scaries. You should be paying me for 0:04:56.240 --> 0:04:58.679 plug in. Your clients had a new jingle, Brody plug 0:04:58.720 --> 0:05:02.040 Scaries clients, Uh, you had that Collie Power. They make 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:05.000 the Collie Power pizza right right. They make pizza crust 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:08.280 with cauliflower right. Okay, So Garrett loved it because he's 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:13.000 got Celia. Right. So Scary says, oh, they're serving the 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:15.280 pizza and I'm gonna get some. And on Scaries way 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:19.000 out of the studio to get pizza, he grabs a 0:05:19.000 --> 0:05:21.600 fist full of M and m's and shoves him in 0:05:21.640 --> 0:05:27.640 his mouth. It's apostasised, right, So I said, just because 0:05:27.640 --> 0:05:29.159 I'm a prick, I said, Scary, where you go? And 0:05:29.160 --> 0:05:35.360 he goes? So, uh, that's the problems the second quarter 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:38.800 of Scary is I'm gonna eat a little bit more 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:40.320 because I've been a really good boy for a few 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:43.120 months now, and my clothing still looks good at me. Now. 0:05:44.240 --> 0:05:51.839 Third quarter Scary is complete abandonment of everything. All rules 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:55.880 are broken, right, at least scruples right. The second quarter 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:59.000 Scary is still trying to low carbet right, still trying like, 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:01.400 you know what, I'm gonna have the fish instead of 0:06:01.440 --> 0:06:03.520 the state. Right. So the third quart of Scary, he's 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:06.560 back to eating bread, but he's still eating. He's eating more, 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:09.360 but he's still trying to look good for the summer. 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:11.839 And then you know he's wearing less clothing because the 0:06:11.839 --> 0:06:15.080 weather is nicer. But then as the third quarter turns 0:06:15.080 --> 0:06:18.839 into the fourth quarter, the fourth quarter is fucking mayhem. 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.120 You will lose a finger if you're sitting near him 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:24.120 when he's hungry and he just starts eating everything. Oh, 0:06:24.200 --> 0:06:29.599 duncan donuts is here. Scary will use a doughnut as 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:36.240 a serving utensil for another doughnut. He will break a 0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:39.440 donut in half and use the hook to hook another 0:06:39.520 --> 0:06:42.960 donut and and hook it into his mouth. Because it's 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:47.560 fourth court of Scary, he knows first quarter of scary 0:06:47.640 --> 0:06:50.080 is on its way. And that's the problem. As I 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:52.200 tumbled to through the end of the year with all 0:06:52.240 --> 0:06:56.000 the eating, the famous eating holidays. It starts with Halloween 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:59.440 the world. It starts with Halloween. Halloween is candy Candy 0:06:59.480 --> 0:07:01.240 go along, or it started, by the way my favorite 0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:03.960 stripper candy Galore, and then goes through it. Then it 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:08.480 goes through Thanksgiving, and here comes Christmas, New Year. But 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:13.280 lay and Labor Day, you're you're you're already starting the 0:07:13.720 --> 0:07:16.480 holiday binge, which is not really a holiday. Back to 0:07:16.520 --> 0:07:20.160 school that started eating holiday. God, come on, I went 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:24.720 to a vegetable forward restaurant yesterday. Then I'm not gonna 0:07:24.760 --> 0:07:28.560 says vegetables forward onto the table because he won't eat them. 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:32.240 I of course it's a vegetable forward restaurant. They serve you. 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:36.200 I'm still in that. I'm still in that mindset. Vegetable forward, 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:38.840 by the way, means the restaurant is focused on vegetables, 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:42.200 but they still have rights. But again, first quarter scary 0:07:42.640 --> 0:07:46.800 steamed broccoli, steamed, second quarter scary broccoli with garlic sauce 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:50.200 and olive oil. The third and fourth quarter of scary 0:07:50.640 --> 0:07:54.400 cheese whiz on top of the broccoli. That's the perfect 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:56.480 way to put it. I understand that the four the 0:07:56.520 --> 0:08:04.040 four seasons my favorite oldies group, the Seas. That's that's 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:11.600 a favorite hit. Summer of three d and sixty five pounds, okay, December, 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:16.560 I wait to sixty three. I put cheese on all 0:08:16.600 --> 0:08:22.200 of my red meat. Yeah, as I remember, my pants 0:08:22.200 --> 0:08:26.920 were tight. There you go. It's an acapella. Yeah. By 0:08:26.960 --> 0:08:30.800 the way, I wrote an epic Game of Thrones parody too. 0:08:30.880 --> 0:08:34.040 We didn't start the fire, and I have not downloaded 0:08:34.040 --> 0:08:36.400 it off the server yet because I put it up 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:38.960 on a server goes. I'll try to have it for 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:41.560 next week. I forgot. I forgot to download and load 0:08:41.640 --> 0:08:44.440 it in. But I I rhymed all the characters names. 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:47.800 No spoilers. I don't put spoilers in those, although I 0:08:47.800 --> 0:08:50.040 have to say I am someone I look, I'm not. 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:52.240 I'm not. I'm not. I know, I know I'm overreacting. 0:08:52.480 --> 0:08:54.960 I am eight seasons behind on Game of Thrones. I 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:57.040 get it. I haven't watched a full episode of the show. 0:08:57.360 --> 0:09:00.280 I've seen scenes. I know about stuff. I know I'm 0:09:00.280 --> 0:09:02.120 gonna eventually like it, but I haven't had time to 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:04.400 watch the show and on Sundays, I usually watched The 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:08.720 Walking Dead and then whatever. So admittedly I can't complain 0:09:08.760 --> 0:09:10.720 too much, but I've done a really good job of 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:14.120 avoiding what happens. Right, Yeah, I don't know how you 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:17.000 don't step on a landline, especially working in this place. Well, 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:19.480 here's the thing I'm not I'm not gonna give a 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:22.280 sport show. We have Gandhi and Nate, who both are 0:09:22.360 --> 0:09:24.840 huge fans. They've been good, they haven't said anything, right, 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.560 But the problem is you work in an environment that 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:31.400 is used to reporting on current so I don't know 0:09:31.400 --> 0:09:34.480 how you avoided it. But now, look, Game of Thrones 0:09:34.559 --> 0:09:39.200 as as a sci fi, um fantasy adventure show, all 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:42.200 the stuff I normally like, so I'm excited to excuse me, 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:46.760 eventually watch it. But the Game of Thrones is actually 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:49.400 they're trying to win a throne. I'm giving you the 0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:53.880 basic right, Eventually, this isn't a spoiler. The episode, the final, 0:09:53.960 --> 0:09:56.760 the finale is about somebody finally winning the throne. That's 0:09:56.760 --> 0:09:59.000 the thing. I'm not telling you who it was. That 0:09:59.160 --> 0:10:02.719 all right, Okay, so the goal is to win the throne. 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:05.880 Did somebody win the throne at the end? Yeah, But 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:07.640 that's not that's not that's not a spoiler. That's the 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:09.800 whole show to be no show if nobody wanted. I'm saying, 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:13.199 so somebody did win. Right now, some people aren't happy someone. 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:15.120 I'm not gonna say I promise, I promise, I don't 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:18.240 say anything. We're gonna refer. We're gonna refer. I'm gonna 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:20.559 use the word the name Mike. Okay, So I'm watching 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:22.360 Jimmy Kimmel tother night. Now, you know I watched all 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:24.520 the late night chose watch them all, So I was 0:10:24.559 --> 0:10:27.920 watching Kimmel like maybe two days later. I always watched 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.560 my Colbert that night and my seth Mars. You guys 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:33.520 know that. So I'm watching Kimmel. So the Game of 0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:36.520 Thrones was Sunday. So I'm watching I think Tuesday Night 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:41.959 show from last week on maybe over the weekend, and 0:10:42.040 --> 0:10:45.120 Jimmy Kimmel's doing a monologue in order to tell a joke. 0:10:45.640 --> 0:10:48.040 He says, yeah, a lot of people are upset Game 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.920 of Thrones. He goes, who I mean, how do you 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:54.040 write a show like I mean that Mike would win? 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:56.520 Obviously there's no Mike on the show, although there's water Bottles. 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:59.320 Who's to say and and and law take cups. So 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:01.720 he goes he's has the real name. Yeah, he goes, 0:11:02.040 --> 0:11:04.120 and Mike wins, and then he does a joke based 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:07.040 on the name and the character. He shows a picture 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:10.160 of Mike. Right, it's not really Mike and it's not 0:11:10.280 --> 0:11:12.200 named It's not like nobody need Mike or close to 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.520 spoiler alert because he gave it right, He just gives 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:19.480 the spoiler. And by the way, did he get some blowback? 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:21.960 I looked on Twitter. People were mad at him. Now. 0:11:22.040 --> 0:11:24.160 By the way, speaking spoiler spoiler alert, someone on Iowa 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:26.920 Morning show said spoiler alert when they meant spoiler, and 0:11:27.040 --> 0:11:31.480 our slices texted Texas, listen to the boys. That's a spoiler, 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.640 not a spoiler alert. Well, you know, so back to 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:39.680 Kimmel for a second. So I'm a little annied. Jimmy, 0:11:39.880 --> 0:11:43.480 is he going to so he attracted? He means he 0:11:43.520 --> 0:11:47.439 can't retract it. You know. My feeling is he do 0:11:47.520 --> 0:11:49.640 it on purpose to get he did it, like, oh, 0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:51.400 it's even a few days. It's okay. It is the 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:54.760 May sweeps, so you know in May, but that's the 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:57.319 ratings work. Yeah, but you have to get people to 0:11:57.360 --> 0:11:59.559 tune in once started watching him. All he cares about 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:03.120 his going Ireland having his name. But if you put 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:04.839 that viral and you're a dick too, okay, then you 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:08.800 know what. Here's that clip from the other night. Kidding, kidding. 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:11.559 My point is, look, I'm going to enjoy the show, 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:13.920 and in the grand scheme of things, I don't care 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:17.319 that Mike one. I don't even know what my kids basically, 0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:21.160 and the show is about dragons and beheadings and killings 0:12:21.160 --> 0:12:24.000 and sex. To me, who one is not as important. 0:12:24.280 --> 0:12:27.280 I was pissed when I found out Dumbledore died long before. 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:32.559 But here's the thing. Double Door died in the books, right. 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:36.000 It wasn't a surprise, but the ending of Game of Thrones. 0:12:36.040 --> 0:12:38.800 From what I remember, I could be wrong. Don't tweet me. 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:42.720 It doesn't matter. That hasn't been written. The finale of 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:44.640 Game of Thrones is in a book he hasn't come 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:48.679 out with yet, because George R. Martin said, oh, if 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:50.080 you don't like the ending, I may or will not 0:12:50.160 --> 0:12:54.160 change it for the book. Ah. Okay, Well, so so 0:12:54.240 --> 0:12:57.160 then there's more to be It's to be continued. Well, no, 0:12:57.240 --> 0:13:00.600 it's to be Well, now they're gonna bring out a prequel. 0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:03.920 My point is, Jimmy Kimmel, that was not cool. Um, 0:13:03.960 --> 0:13:05.600 I'm gonna just go on the record here and say, 0:13:05.720 --> 0:13:10.680 and I don't know who of our slices care or 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:14.439 don't care that about about the show, but I'm gonna 0:13:14.440 --> 0:13:17.480 say straight up, I fucking hate Game of Thrones. I 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:19.719 have no interest in it. But how can you You've 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:21.680 never watched it? You don't watch. I don't like things 0:13:21.679 --> 0:13:23.960 that are dark. I don't like medie, I don't like 0:13:24.040 --> 0:13:27.680 medieval shit, I don't stop it. I don't like medieval 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:31.120 I don't. It just doesn't resonate with me, you know here, 0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:34.320 And maybe I'm alone on this. There could be people 0:13:34.400 --> 0:13:37.000 like like listening to this right now, be like are 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:44.400 you crazy? Scary? But like shows like shows like Game 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:48.960 of Thrones and Walking Down that's not nothing to do 0:13:49.040 --> 0:13:52.360 with I know. But the point is all this stuff 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:56.520 that's not set in reality, the supernatural, this things that 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:58.240 are like like even back in the day, if you 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:00.160 want to go back to the Star Trek situation and 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:04.040 things like the Star Trek situation, like even like films 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:07.640 like fucking I think people understand you want reality. I 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:09.680 want reality ship. I have to say is you don't 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:13.119 like fiction like, yeah, fiction, no, but science fiction especially 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:20.960 and medieval prehistoric stuff, Shakespearean things I don't. I don't relate, Yeah, 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:24.960 like Downton Abbey, stuff that takes place. If you're doing 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:28.840 a period piece, I'm out And I don't know. If 0:14:28.880 --> 0:14:30.080 I don't know, it's not that I don't have the 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:32.280 attention span I watch. Would you watch a piece about 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:37.560 a period I would You're disgusting what grammar? Okay? Dot? 0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:42.960 I just want to know a little dot. I just 0:14:43.000 --> 0:14:45.520 want to know if you feel the same way on 0:14:45.880 --> 0:14:48.680 something you know, on this stuff or well, you know, 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:51.360 I don't I love sci fi? Or there? Can you spell? 0:14:51.440 --> 0:14:54.080 Can you spell? Medievil? I'm asking for a reason. Medieval 0:14:55.920 --> 0:15:00.640 M E D I E V A L. Yeah. I 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:02.280 find that to be one of the most annoying words 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:06.160 because it's medieval, because it's medieval medieval. Right But people, 0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:11.120 all right, people, people listening to this M I don't 0:15:11.160 --> 0:15:14.200 fall into that trap, all right. I hate that word. Yeah, 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:16.160 not a good word, not right away. The point is 0:15:16.560 --> 0:15:18.720 there's gotta be you know, how do you feel about 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:20.840 is there something about in your life that you feel 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:23.760 the same way about when it comes to watching ship 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:26.560 is that that you're like, I'm out because to me, again, 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:30.240 if I don't like British it from the eighteen hundreds, 0:15:30.280 --> 0:15:34.880 I'm out. You know, I'm out on. I am out 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:39.840 on really bad and it's redundant Hallmark movies. I can't 0:15:39.880 --> 0:15:43.680 sit through the guy who comes home for the holidays 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:46.560 and falls in love with the girl who just lost 0:15:46.560 --> 0:15:50.200 a finger, and it's perfect timing, and you're like, will 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:53.280 they get together? Won't they get together? They're all attractive? 0:15:53.560 --> 0:15:56.760 What about rom comms like Hugh Grant films, not a 0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:59.720 huge like that type of if if if a rom com? 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:02.760 More calm here, Okay, here's what I have a problem with. 0:16:02.960 --> 0:16:05.160 I have a problem with rom coms when they're all 0:16:05.280 --> 0:16:09.000 rom and like no com com because it's in the category, 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:12.160 and you're like, I find that, show me the funny. 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.320 I have obviously a lot of respect with m I find, yes, 0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:19.720 I find obviously have a lot of respect for comedy 0:16:20.000 --> 0:16:22.360 as an art form. And I find like when you 0:16:22.360 --> 0:16:28.280 watch the Grammys and they put like Best Comedy and 0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:30.280 the US two this is an old reference. I apologize, 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.640 but they would put like Ali mcbeel, well, they put 0:16:32.680 --> 0:16:38.320 Glee right Glee was a great show that had some 0:16:38.360 --> 0:16:42.080 amusing stuff right. There was something the coach was funny, 0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:44.400 but the show was not supposed to be a fun 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:47.240 like like, you can't put Glee up against modern family 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:52.600 or or or or friends like real comedies. Right to me, 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:55.080 that's not and I always feel like they just like 0:16:55.480 --> 0:17:00.840 they throw in the the musicals and the So for me, 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:04.160 a rom com if it's just cute because she said 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:07.119 something silly, yeah and he fell for her, that's not 0:17:07.119 --> 0:17:09.720 a comedic comedy. Call me when you're a comedy. Now, 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:12.760 make a comedy with some romance. Make a com rom 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:15.800 now you're talking that, somebody, get me, get me a 0:17:15.800 --> 0:17:18.000 director right now on the phone. I will make a 0:17:18.040 --> 0:17:20.320 com rom and that should will be funny. So a 0:17:20.359 --> 0:17:24.320 comedy that happens to be romantic romantic thing that had 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:28.720 just maybe the com rom is when the unattractive, funny 0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:31.840 guy gets the hot girl, not the hot guy and 0:17:31.880 --> 0:17:35.000 the hot girl getting together. That's a rom com. I 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:38.600 want to see the com rom where where Kevin James 0:17:39.000 --> 0:17:41.800 gets the hot girl like a fat guy gets the 0:17:41.960 --> 0:17:44.680 I love Kevin James, but you look at sitcoms, it's 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:47.840 always the fat comic at the unattractive male comic and 0:17:47.880 --> 0:17:56.400 the hot wife always comm um. We uh, just got 0:17:56.400 --> 0:17:59.919 back from Puerto Rico. What are you clapping at me? 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:03.640 By the way, somebody caught that on clapping at made 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:06.680 you hear last week's episode? Did you not know? I said, 0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:10.040 whenever you go um, I'm gonna clap and people are 0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:13.520 gonna know that they missed it. Yeah, I'm sorry. That 0:18:13.560 --> 0:18:15.399 was a bit last week. I know it was so 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:17.520 on the fifteen minute morning show, you did that and 0:18:17.560 --> 0:18:19.160 no one heard. I went just the background. I went 0:18:20.000 --> 0:18:22.040 just to see if the slices were paying attention. Toping 0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:24.800 this on Thursday May three, and last week, you know, 0:18:24.840 --> 0:18:29.080 we came back from Puerto Rico and I had my 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:32.760 sent Bird in my bag. We're talking about the cologns 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:36.480 that we we chose. I feel silly, so I've told 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:40.000 you before that I'm picking my cologns to take with 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:42.760 me from center based on where we're going. But the 0:18:42.760 --> 0:18:46.960 beauty of cent Bird is you get really extravagant designer 0:18:48.240 --> 0:18:51.399 and perfumes in such a tiny little space. So I 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:54.040 get to carry it on. I wasn't checking a bag 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:56.560 and I'm like, I need something I don't need a 0:18:56.600 --> 0:18:59.639 big bottle that they're going to confiscate at the airport 0:19:00.080 --> 0:19:02.280 and T s A Is gonna take home to their kids. 0:19:02.960 --> 0:19:05.720 So that's what I did. I brought my sent bird 0:19:05.760 --> 0:19:08.800 with me, um. I had the tom Ford and I 0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:12.199 was smelling great on the plane when most people stunk 0:19:12.240 --> 0:19:14.760 like feet. Well. I took the Dula and Cabana, the 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:19.800 light blue poor home because Gabannah reminded me of Cabannah 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:21.480 and we were gonna be pool side and Puerto Rico 0:19:22.240 --> 0:19:26.680 doesn't any I'll tell you though. We had some listeners 0:19:26.720 --> 0:19:29.560 who were like, oh, Brody, it's so nice, and I 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:32.159 was like, yeah, I'm I'm wearing my adult chan Gabanna. 0:19:32.160 --> 0:19:33.880 I didn't tell him how much I paid for because 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:35.560 I wanted to think I paid full price. I did 0:19:35.640 --> 0:19:39.840 not thank you. Birds of Luxury Fragrance subscription subscription service. 0:19:39.880 --> 0:19:43.359 You get to mix and match uh and and choose 0:19:43.359 --> 0:19:45.800 from over four and your fifty designer brands. In case 0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:47.600 you were wondering, Yeah, I don't need to buy the 0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:50.600 big jug with the handle on. We don't need that stuff. 0:19:50.600 --> 0:19:53.320 And it sits in your medicine cabinet and collects dust 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:56.280 for thirty years like my all my father's colognsuh. They 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:59.320 have tom Ford Kenneth cole Berbery product you name it, 0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:03.679 Dulchan one twenty sprays. That's that's enough for you to 0:20:03.720 --> 0:20:08.480 put on four times a day, day month from month 0:20:08.600 --> 0:20:10.840 right entire month. I did, I did the math on that. 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:12.720 How do you like that? Very nice? So right now 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:14.960 what we want to do is offer a special deal 0:20:15.000 --> 0:20:18.280 to our Brooklyn boys. My favorite part. Yes, we're gonna 0:20:18.320 --> 0:20:24.000 give you fifty percent off your first month five zero, 0:20:24.160 --> 0:20:28.400 not five, fifty percent off your first month. That's only 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:31.879 seven dollars and fifty cents to your first fragrance. But 0:20:31.920 --> 0:20:33.479 what you have to do is you have to go 0:20:33.560 --> 0:20:39.480 to sent bird dot com slash Brooklyn. That's s C 0:20:39.960 --> 0:20:42.920 E N T B R B I R D bird 0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:49.400 sent bird dot com slash Brooklyn and use our code Brooklyn. Okay, 0:20:49.640 --> 0:20:51.639 make sure you use the code Brooklyn as well. So 0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:54.359 use the vanity U R L and then Brooklyn for 0:20:54.480 --> 0:21:01.800 fifty percent off your first month with sent bird. I 0:21:01.800 --> 0:21:05.239 don't think we didn't use jokes last week? Did jokes? Well, 0:21:05.280 --> 0:21:06.560 I'll tell you what I have here. I have a 0:21:06.840 --> 0:21:08.560 I have a change of pace on the used jokes 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:11.159 thing I have some used jokes, and then I have 0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:18.560 some used jokes. What's used? No, they're used, but they 0:21:18.560 --> 0:21:21.720 weren't used on the radio. This is a new thing. 0:21:22.359 --> 0:21:24.960 This is real life David Brodie jokes. So I'm gonna 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:27.200 give you some unused jokes on the big show that 0:21:27.320 --> 0:21:30.040 we didn't get to and then I'm gonna it's a 0:21:30.080 --> 0:21:32.680 new feature. I'm gonna share the kind of thing you're 0:21:32.680 --> 0:21:34.960 missing if you're hanging out me in real life, real 0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:38.560 life Brodie. All right, So we did a story on 0:21:38.600 --> 0:21:41.919 the show about how Whole Foods is not gonna have 0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:45.360 straws anymore at their stores, and I said, no, They're 0:21:45.359 --> 0:21:48.080 only gonna have free range straws. If you go to 0:21:48.119 --> 0:21:50.000 shop the Whole Foods, you understand that they have free 0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:53.560 range chicken every these free range. That means the chicken 0:21:53.600 --> 0:21:55.520 got to run around and be happy before they killed it. 0:21:55.600 --> 0:21:59.040 That's a buzzword that I fall for every time. Right, Uh, 0:21:59.040 --> 0:22:00.919 Gandhi what to see? Gondy from our show went to 0:22:00.920 --> 0:22:03.520 see Aladdin. She said it was great, but they modernized 0:22:03.520 --> 0:22:05.840 it a little bit. So my joke was, oh, did 0:22:05.880 --> 0:22:08.879 they have hybrid flying carpets? Now? I didn't get to 0:22:08.920 --> 0:22:15.280 that Danielle did a story that Who Wants to Be 0:22:15.280 --> 0:22:18.800