Speaker 1: I've always loved myself. I've always been pretty confident, but
Speaker 1: the music career, especially in our Latin culture, the thinner
Speaker 1: you are, the prettier you are, the more accepted you are.
Speaker 1: That's something my mom struggled with and my grandpa would
Speaker 1: always tell her. He would say, so you know best,
Speaker 1: so if you're not going to find a man, and
Speaker 1: it really did. It affected her. We did a part
Speaker 1: of the interview and then on the break he literally
Speaker 1: looked at me and he said, oh, Win said, you
Speaker 1: know what he told me? He said. I was like,
Speaker 1: what up? Guys? Happy Monday. I am so glad to
Speaker 1: be in front of the mic today talking to you guys.
Speaker 1: I think this is an episode you guys will really
Speaker 1: enjoy because it's about something I think a lot of
Speaker 1: us have dealt or we'll deal with. I'm going to
Speaker 1: be opening up about how weight loss affects how we think,
Speaker 1: how we feel, and even how people treat us. It's
Speaker 1: just going to be meeting you today, so let's hop
Speaker 1: into it. This Isy's and chill. So, as you guys
Speaker 1: probably know already, weight and body image is something I've
Speaker 1: dealt with my entire life, and as women, I think
Speaker 1: so many of us are taught that our value or
Speaker 1: self worth is tied up to our appearance. How pretty
Speaker 1: we are or how thin we are really matters in
Speaker 1: our culture and in society, and it's annoying. This episode
Speaker 1: is going to be divided into two parts. In this
Speaker 1: first part, I'm going to be talking about my journey
Speaker 1: all the way from the beginning. So let's talk about it.
Speaker 1: As a kid, I was always a little bit overweight,
Speaker 1: since like I can remember, I was always thicker than
Speaker 1: the other girls in school. I always struggled with wine clothes.
Speaker 1: I think it started, like where I started really noticing
Speaker 1: was when I was ten years old and I would
Speaker 1: be made fun of and it was just it was tough.
Speaker 1: I want to say that it started when I realized
Speaker 1: that what was happening to me because I was sexually
Speaker 1: abused by my dad was not right. Because it started
Speaker 1: when I was eight years old, and at ten, the
Speaker 1: conversations at school started changing with my friends, and I
Speaker 1: started realizing what sex is, and that's where, you know,
Speaker 1: fifth grade, they start talking about sex education and it
Speaker 1: just started like kind of tormenting me, and I started
Speaker 1: holding on to my weight, and that's where it just started,
Speaker 1: you know, spirallling out of control, and it just started,
Speaker 1: I think, getting worse as I got older. My period
Speaker 1: came when I was twelve years old. My body started
Speaker 1: changing and then it just it's been a thing, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So I and I talked to
Speaker 1: my therapist about this and she said, yeah, it's because
Speaker 1: you weren't expressing certain things, so you were holding on
Speaker 1: to your weight as a form of protection. So AnyWho,
Speaker 1: it's something I've been dealing with forever. At home, it
Speaker 1: was always a conversation because my mom also struggled with
Speaker 1: her weight, and it could Yeah, it's it's hereditary, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like it's something that like I
Speaker 1: think comes from my grandfather's side. They're a little bit
Speaker 1: more on they're a little bit more on the heavier side.
Speaker 1: And so that's something my mom struggled with. And my
Speaker 1: grandpa would always tell her, and I know this because
Speaker 1: she would tell me. He would say, so, you know best,
Speaker 1: So if you don't lose weight, you're not gonna find
Speaker 1: a man like you. You can't be fat, you can't
Speaker 1: be a gorra, you know what I mean. And it
Speaker 1: really did. It affected her and then she had me
Speaker 1: at fifteen. Imagine her little body because she was fairly like,
Speaker 1: you know, on the thinner side, I guess. Such at
Speaker 1: fifteen she had me, she got pregnant, and she gained
Speaker 1: eighty pounds. That's a lot, and and she just said,
Speaker 1: oh my god, you she would always say, you fucked
Speaker 1: up my body. But I'm like o, gage was like
Speaker 1: my stretch marks came, like she lost I'm sorry, she
Speaker 1: gained so much weight, and she was she was young.
Speaker 1: And then four years later she had my sister, and
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. So it's something that she
Speaker 1: struggled with and she didn't want us to go through
Speaker 1: what she had gone through and how she felt. So
Speaker 1: at home, it was always like we were on every
Speaker 1: freaking diet that you can think of. It was the
Speaker 1: Zone diet, it was Adkins, it was you know, all
Speaker 1: these things, and we couldn't have fun cereals. We would
Speaker 1: only have kicks because you know, back then we were
Speaker 1: like on you know, Wick and Welfare and food sam
Speaker 1: so it was like certain stuff that we can afford,
Speaker 1: and it was like, you know, at Wick they would
Speaker 1: give us kicks. So it was just a different type
Speaker 1: of childhood. Like my lunches were different, you know, and
Speaker 1: we had to have non fat milk. I mean, imagine
Speaker 1: being freaking eleven twelve years old and it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you have to have egg whites and tomatoes and a
Speaker 1: slice of a greate fruit the half of a great
Speaker 1: fruit and non fat milk when all your friends are
Speaker 1: having bacon and freaking pancakes. So it was like always
Speaker 1: a conversation, and it was always like you have to
Speaker 1: work out to the point where I think my sisters
Speaker 1: and I we all feel the same. Like Jackie always
Speaker 1: talks about it. My sister Jackie always talks about how
Speaker 1: my mom sent her to school with her lunch in
Speaker 1: a brown bag and it was a can of green
Speaker 1: beans and some tuna and a fork, like that's what
Speaker 1: she had to eat. And she was so embarrassed. She
Speaker 1: didn't even put it like in a cute little tuble
Speaker 1: where she just put in a bag and said here,
Speaker 1: open it, and this is what you're going to have.
Speaker 1: And she even sent Jackie and even Jenica for a
Speaker 1: little bit to what they call fat camp literally it's
Speaker 1: called fat camp to lose weight. So it was always
Speaker 1: a conversation and my mom would be like if I
Speaker 1: would eat something, she'd be like, oh my god, you
Speaker 1: know it's going to go straight to your thighs or
Speaker 1: things like that. So it was sticks so in my mind. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I mean, she she did help me lose weight. You know,
Speaker 1: there was a time when my mom and I weren't talking.
Speaker 1: She sent me to go live at my grandma's house.
Speaker 1: And then when I came back to live with her,
Speaker 1: she put me on this like strict diet, dude, like
Speaker 1: strict diet, and I had to just dance my way
Speaker 1: every day, washing clothes in the garage. You know, I
Speaker 1: think I've told you guys the story before, but like
Speaker 1: to lose weight, and she and I did lose weight.
Speaker 1: She was a very good trainer. Like even I want
Speaker 1: to say, I was eleven twelve years old in our
Speaker 1: living room in Long Beach listening to Michael Jackson, and
Speaker 1: she would do like a freaking dance class. She was
Speaker 1: so good at dancing. And we would sit there and
Speaker 1: do aerobics and her friends and her and I would
Speaker 1: do it and it was just like a thing. So
Speaker 1: it's something that like our whole family has struggled with,
Speaker 1: and it's been something that's been embedded in our in
Speaker 1: our brain. And you guys know that food is such
Speaker 1: a huge part of our culture. It's you go to
Speaker 1: your theas house, to your grandma's house, to anyone's house.
Speaker 1: Is like they want to feed you. And they don't
Speaker 1: want to feed you a little bit. They want to
Speaker 1: feed you a lot because that's the way they show
Speaker 1: that they love you. And then if you don't eat
Speaker 1: it or you say no sofin, then they get kind
Speaker 1: of like hurt. So then you feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: I have to eat it. And well as a Mexican,
Speaker 1: as a Latina, you know, you have your beans and
Speaker 1: your rice and then your protein, and you have tortilla
Speaker 1: or sometimes you have bread. It's like it's a lot
Speaker 1: of carbs, you know. So it's something that in our household,
Speaker 1: it's like here, this is how I'm going to show
Speaker 1: you my love. And also our culture loves to use manteka,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, instead of using all oil.
Speaker 1: So it's like little things like that throughout the years
Speaker 1: that I've learned that, yeah, the beans are freaking refried
Speaker 1: beans are delicious with manteka, you know, with lard. But
Speaker 1: there are healthier ways of cooking them, you know. But
Speaker 1: it's it's in our culture, it's part of of us,
Speaker 1: you know. And not only that, but I remember hearing
Speaker 1: from everyone in my family that it's like you have
Speaker 1: to finish everything on your plate because there are starving
Speaker 1: children in the world, and there are kids that don't
Speaker 1: have food, and you're so lucky, so you need to
Speaker 1: eat it all, you know what I mean. One time,
Speaker 1: I remember my mom made I think it was like,
Speaker 1: uh Pierre had chicken legs, and she made peas and carrots,
Speaker 1: and I think there was white rice, and I didn't
Speaker 1: really like the bone, you know what I mean. Like
Speaker 1: I was more of like, you know, a chicken breast
Speaker 1: type of girl, but the chicken legs are like less expensive.
Speaker 1: So she would make that a lot. And one day
Speaker 1: I kind of like, I was like, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: like pretend I, you know, I ate it, and I
Speaker 1: threw it in the trash ooh girl. She made me
Speaker 1: get it out of the trash can and eat it
Speaker 1: right in front of her. She's like, Nope, you're gonna
Speaker 1: eat it all, and you're gonna eat your peas and
Speaker 1: your carrots. She made me get it out of the
Speaker 1: trash can. You guys's like, you're not gonna throw away
Speaker 1: food in this household. If you don't like it, then
Speaker 1: you need to move out, or you need to give
Speaker 1: me money, and the food is expensive and you're not
Speaker 1: gonna like And I was just saying, I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, okay, you know what I mean. Like, I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't like it, said, oh, you can't
Speaker 1: pick and choose. So it was like a thing like
Speaker 1: it's like you eat when mom is making or you
Speaker 1: don't eat it all. And sometimes I wouldn't eat because
Speaker 1: she's like, Okay, if you don't like what I'm making,
Speaker 1: then you're not gonna eat. I wouldn't eat till the
Speaker 1: next day dinner time. I don't know if I've ever
Speaker 1: said this out loud, or maybe I didn't in my book.
Speaker 1: I don't remember. It's been I have three books, you guys,
Speaker 1: but people always ask me, Okay, did you get liposuction?
Speaker 1: Have you gotten any cosmetic work done? And yes, I have.
Speaker 1: Before I was a little bit more embarrassed to say
Speaker 1: because it was like frowned upon and it was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, only celebrities do that. But I had
Speaker 1: my first liposuction when I was eighteen, almost nineteen years old,
Speaker 1: my mom took me to TJ with her doctor when
Speaker 1: brostro God rest his soul. He's no longer alive, but
Speaker 1: he did my mom's ypo section. And my mom was
Speaker 1: so like consumed with us looking good, and she's like,
Speaker 1: you're eighteen, you know, we need to like get you
Speaker 1: more of a waste. And so she took me at
Speaker 1: nineteen years old. I had no choice. I mean, I
Speaker 1: guess I did have a choice. I could have said no,
Speaker 1: but it was kind of like no, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: good for you. It was like so celebrated. I guess that.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, cool. Yeah, So we went and
Speaker 1: I got my first LiPo section and I loved it.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I was like, oh damn all
Speaker 1: look good. You feel me Like it was like the
Speaker 1: first one. So my body was a virgin. So it's
Speaker 1: like that's the best kind of like time I guess
Speaker 1: to have a LiPo section because it just comes out
Speaker 1: so much better. So it did help my self esteem.
Speaker 1: I did feel good. My waist was a lot smaller
Speaker 1: my arms. I think it did like a full like
Speaker 1: on my back and stuff like that. It was like
Speaker 1: a full like three sixty type of LiPo section. So
Speaker 1: I was very happy. The only thing thing is I
Speaker 1: didn't take care of myself. And that's the thing people think, Oh,
Speaker 1: lipol suction is a forever fix, and that is not
Speaker 1: the case. If anything, you can ruin the shape of
Speaker 1: your body if you don't take care of yourself, because
Speaker 1: they're removing fat cells from your body that your body
Speaker 1: needs to survive. So if they remove it from your
Speaker 1: abdomen and your back and your arms, well guess what
Speaker 1: It's going to go to your legs. And that's exactly
Speaker 1: what happened to me. I at eighteen nineteen, Like I
Speaker 1: was like, okay, whatever, Like you know, I was eating
Speaker 1: freely and yes, you know, my mom try to keep
Speaker 1: us on track, but I mean we're teenagers. I would
Speaker 1: go to school, I was driving, I would go to
Speaker 1: you know, fast food restaurants behind her back and all
Speaker 1: this stuff. So I wasn't taking care of myself and
Speaker 1: I felt comfortable and I felt just content with my body.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, okay, I can eat. So I started
Speaker 1: going to my fingers, to my neck, to my cheeks,
Speaker 1: to my legs, so the fat will go somewhere. Trust me,
Speaker 1: your body is like, Okay, you need this amount of
Speaker 1: freaking fat in your body, I'm going to find a
Speaker 1: place to live. And it does even it'll go down
Speaker 1: to your toes. So that's what I learned throughout the
Speaker 1: years and after getting I don't know, I probably have
Speaker 1: gotten three LiPo sections, you guys, three okay throughout the
Speaker 1: years because it's like, oh my god, now the fat
Speaker 1: went to my legs. Okay, I want to like kind
Speaker 1: of bring down my thighs now and you know, and
Speaker 1: oh my god, my arms got big again. Do it again.
Speaker 1: So it's like I've done liplo section, but it's like
Speaker 1: now I'm so turned off by LiPo section. Like people
Speaker 1: think that I did LiPo section now to lose weight,
Speaker 1: and I didn't. I'm cool whatever you want to do.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge advocate for like cosmetic surgery. Do it,
Speaker 1: do your thing, like whatever's going to make you happy.
Speaker 1: But I did not this last time. And honestly, I
Speaker 1: try to just stay away from it because, like I said,
Speaker 1: it can really change your body. And I'm not mad
Speaker 1: at my mom for taking me to get plastic surgery
Speaker 1: so young, but I wish I would have waited to
Speaker 1: be honest. Until I educated myself a little bit more,
Speaker 1: I never really had an eating disorder. I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: the type of person that I eat if I'm happy,
Speaker 1: I eat if i'm sad. I love food. I'm a foodie.
Speaker 1: I love it. It's part of what makes me happy.
Speaker 1: And now that I'm getting more mature, i'm getting older,
Speaker 1: I'm realizing that food should be something that just nourishes
Speaker 1: our body and not see it as something like that.
Speaker 1: I absolutely, yes, I need it, but it's more of
Speaker 1: like having a different type of relationship with food. I
Speaker 1: did start taking like I don't know if you guys remember,
Speaker 1: I think they still have them out there, but hydroxy
Speaker 1: cut because I saw it on a commercial, so I
Speaker 1: ordered it. And I started taking that at a very
Speaker 1: young age. And that also, I think through my body
Speaker 1: and my system through a loop. I was so young.
Speaker 1: I was too young to take that stuff. I must
Speaker 1: have started at I don't know, like twenty nineteen something
Speaker 1: like that. I even took like breast growth pills that
Speaker 1: I saw on TV. Yes, I'm that girl the infomercials.
Speaker 1: I'm that girl that Yes, they always get me. So
Speaker 1: my mom would always make fun of me for that.
Speaker 1: So I would order all kinds of stuff and I'm
Speaker 1: not like, I think it really did. It fucked things up,
Speaker 1: you know, in my hormones. I was taking estrogen for
Speaker 1: my loops to get bigger because I want to figure boobs,
Speaker 1: Like who does that? You know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: and it's all because of what we see on TV
Speaker 1: and all this stuff and now with social media. So
Speaker 1: it's like, I feel it's important for us to have
Speaker 1: these conversations, especially in our culture, about food and about
Speaker 1: educating ourselves before doing things because it can really affect
Speaker 1: us in the long run. I never made myself like
Speaker 1: throw up or anything like that. I was just like
Speaker 1: taking pills and doing even fantramine. I did fenermin for
Speaker 1: a little bit, and all that stuff affects you. It
Speaker 1: really does. And once you stop taking it, like the
Speaker 1: hydroxy cut and the fentermine and all that stuff that
Speaker 1: helps you lose weight really quick, because we all want
Speaker 1: that magic pill that's going to do it like this,
Speaker 1: you know, real fast. Once you stop taking it, you
Speaker 1: are going to be a lot heavier than you first started,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like it's going you're gonna
Speaker 1: get bigger, you know what, I mean like it's just
Speaker 1: it just happens because your body's like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: where's that thing that drug that's helping me feel good
Speaker 1: and lose weight, and then in front of mein like ooh,
Speaker 1: let me tell you it made me feel so crazy
Speaker 1: jittery and well, anyways, that's all stuff that happened before
Speaker 1: my singing career, you know what I mean. I did
Speaker 1: all this crazy stuff before my singing career. I think
Speaker 1: I did the first two light bul sections before I
Speaker 1: was twenty six, I think, and then I started singing
Speaker 1: at like what twenty seven, and that was a whole
Speaker 1: other situation. I never had an issue no matter how
Speaker 1: big I was or how small I was. I think
Speaker 1: the lightest I've ever been was when my mom put
Speaker 1: me on that diet when I was what fifteen, When
Speaker 1: I moved back with her, I was one hundred and
Speaker 1: twenty eight pounds. That was like the lightest I've ever been,
Speaker 1: I think in my life. Besides when I was like six.
Speaker 1: The last time I was a size six was like
Speaker 1: when I was six years old. You guys, right now,
Speaker 1: I can tell you I'm a size six, but we'll
Speaker 1: get into that later. So AnyWho, I never had an
Speaker 1: issue finding someone, you know. I always had a boyfriend
Speaker 1: or talking to someone, even when I was younger at school,
Speaker 1: you know, seventeen years old, and so I never really
Speaker 1: thought like, Okay, I know I'm a little thicker than
Speaker 1: everyone else around me, like a lot of girls my age.
Speaker 1: But when I really notice, oh man, okay, well I
Speaker 1: guess I'm a lot bigger than I think I am.
Speaker 1: Because when I started singing and I started doing reality
Speaker 1: obviously television makes you gain at least ten pounds more,
Speaker 1: if not more than ten pounds, I just started getting
Speaker 1: a lot of criticism, like a lot of people just
Speaker 1: talking crap on television on social media, and it really
Speaker 1: just started affecting me, and I started, like, I started
Speaker 1: seeing myself differently. Like I've always loved myself. I've always
Speaker 1: been pretty confident. I mean sometimes I was like, by myself,
Speaker 1: I think I'd probably be like, oh man, I wish
Speaker 1: this was a little different, you know what I mean
Speaker 1: or whatever. But the music career, it's like, especially you guys,
Speaker 1: that's another thing in our Latin culture. It's like the
Speaker 1: thinner you are, the prettier you are, the more accepted
Speaker 1: you are, you know, and it's like, if you are
Speaker 1: an artist, if you are an actress, like you need
Speaker 1: to be a certain freaking size, like and if you're not,
Speaker 1: then it's like what are you teaching people. It's like,
Speaker 1: in order to be considered one of the beautiful people,
Speaker 1: like you need to be a certain size, especially because
Speaker 1: you're on TV. And that's what I would get all
Speaker 1: the time, like, oh my god, you have such a
Speaker 1: pretty face, but when are you gonna lose weight? Literally
Speaker 1: like that, I'll never forget them. Francisco. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you guys ever watched some Francisco Hiante. I went
Speaker 1: to his show. We were on a break, we did
Speaker 1: a part of the interview, and then on the break
Speaker 1: he literally looked at me and he said, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: Gwanda the pissel kinse I just I just finished, like,
Speaker 1: actually I just lost fifteen pounds. You know what you
Speaker 1: told me? He said, he said, well, we can't really
Speaker 1: tell what I was like, So then the cameras turned
Speaker 1: back on and I'm just like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: felt like crap. Dude, like literally looked at me like, oh,
Speaker 1: you can't tell that you just lost fifteen pounds, dude,
Speaker 1: I'll never forget. I was just like, dude, I grew
Speaker 1: up watching you with my grandma, and now I'm like, dude,
Speaker 1: you're not even that thin yourself. And then you find
Speaker 1: these people on social media talking crap and saying, oh,
Speaker 1: you're fat, you're this or that, and then you look
Speaker 1: at their profile picture and they're bigger than you, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like what, I was so confused, And I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna mention another person that has said that I'm
Speaker 1: big and that my legs are too big and stuff
Speaker 1: like that, like he's very big, extremely and that's fine,
Speaker 1: whatever tickles your pickle, Like I don't care. I'm not
Speaker 1: one to go and judge people for their size or
Speaker 1: I will never call all your fat or like no,
Speaker 1: I just I cannot. But this person, this guy is
Speaker 1: really big, and he has and has had the audacity
Speaker 1: to say like, oh my god, her legs are just
Speaker 1: so fat, like and then it just sounds worse in
Speaker 1: Spanish like oh my god, so spirit and it's like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, dude. It's been tough. It's been tough
Speaker 1: to just give people in the media sometimes the middle
Speaker 1: finger and just say you know what, if you guys
Speaker 1: and I've had to work through it because I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna break me. You are not going to
Speaker 1: break me. You're not going to stop me. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to give up because you think I should because
Speaker 1: I'm not the size you want me to be. No,
Speaker 1: absolutely not. So it's been it's been tough. It has
Speaker 1: been tough. But thank goodness, amongst everything my mom taught
Speaker 1: me and yes, how to eat better and how to
Speaker 1: work out and everything. She also was a woman that
Speaker 1: was considered out of the norm completely for having five children,
Speaker 1: a single mother and not being a size too and
Speaker 1: a very successful singer. That she always taught me to
Speaker 1: be confident and to love myself and never had an
Speaker 1: issue with finding someone to love her. So that's one
Speaker 1: thing I thank her for so much, because no matter what,
Speaker 1: no matter how much, it was like a conversation, and
Speaker 1: the biggest topic in our household was losing weight, it
Speaker 1: was also about self love. So I think that's what
Speaker 1: got me through because I was like, well, my mom
Speaker 1: went through it. They talked about her a lot, and
Speaker 1: she became the biggest regional Mexican artist, So we're gonna
Speaker 1: be all right, So thank God and shout out to Jenny,
Speaker 1: I love you, Mom. But okay, guys, so we're gonna
Speaker 1: stop this episode right here. Stay tuned for part two
Speaker 1: tomorrow because that's what I'm going to talk about, my
Speaker 1: weight loss and how it's affected me and how I'm treated.
Speaker 1: I'm also going to open up about my experience with ozembic.
Speaker 1: It's gonna be a good one. You're not gonna want
Speaker 1: to miss it, so make sure to listen. Ask the Manyana.
Speaker 1: This is a production of iHeartRadio and the micro Gurda
Speaker 1: podcast Network. Follow us on Instagram at Michael Gourda Podcasts
Speaker 1: and follow me Cheeky's That's c h i q u
Speaker 1: i s. For more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app,
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