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Speaker 1: My girlfriend recently quit her dropped to travel the world.

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Speaker 1: Now she wants to break up. How do I get

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Speaker 1: her back? She's gone, yeah, you don't, that is the answer.

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Speaker 1: But we're trying to answer the question today. Should all

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Speaker 1: breakups be prefaced with an explanation? And this comes from

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Speaker 1: if I could go backwards and if I could rewind?

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Speaker 1: Maybe foreshadowing who says but reference. I will call myself

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Speaker 1: Michael and her Lisa, but for more info, we have

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Speaker 1: a truly wonderful relationship. We met two years before dating,

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Speaker 1: and at that time I was dating someone else. Lisa

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Speaker 1: was one of my flatmates at university I'm in the UK,

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Speaker 1: and we bonded very quickly. So we were friends for

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Speaker 1: a while and my girlfriend at the time broke up

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Speaker 1: with me and I had a brief fling with Lisa.

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Speaker 1: No spicy sleep, but kissing, etc.

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Speaker 2: Sounds suspicious, suspicious.

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Speaker 1: This is allegedly after the breakup. Allegedly we were very

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Speaker 1: close as friends and this felt very natural. However, I

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Speaker 1: moved out a week after and moved to the other

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Speaker 1: side of the country. At the time, I was in

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Speaker 1: a very bad place for a variety of reasons, and

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Speaker 1: we slowed down talkings. Then a year later she randomly

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Speaker 1: reached out again and we started talking and we just

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Speaker 1: reconnected completely. I was just graduating university and she was

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Speaker 1: about to enter her final year after taking a gap

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Speaker 1: year for work experience. She came to visit me at university,

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Speaker 1: and at this time I fully expected it to just

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Speaker 1: be a friendly visit. Oh, but it quickly became more.

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Speaker 1: How much more? Soon after she was back home and

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Speaker 1: we were chatting every day for literally up to twelve

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Speaker 1: hours on FaceTime. Twelve hours a lot of hours. That's

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Speaker 1: more than we stream. That's crazy. We stream a lot.

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Speaker 2: Everything is relative to how much we stream.

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Speaker 1: That.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, all of our timing is just in terms

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Speaker 2: of like stream. It's like, oh, that's like one stream,

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Speaker 2: you know, like how Americans use like football fields.

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Speaker 1: We use our streams to tell time. That's amazing, that

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Speaker 1: is how we tell time. Actually, Yeah, like how many

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Speaker 1: how long is a movie? Point? Who that's like half

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Speaker 1: a stream? Dune? Yeah, dune Dune has half a stream.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's that's like an average stream? Possibly, Opie says,

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Speaker 1: we did it so so often? How often? OPI? I

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Speaker 1: fell completely in love with her, and soon after we

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Speaker 1: became we lived together for the last four years, having

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Speaker 1: moved in together about six months before COVID. What an

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Speaker 1: amazing time we adored lockdown. Oh the best time ever.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't understand you were doing lockdown like we were.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, I mean I have to imagine you came.

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Speaker 1: Maybe they were in the maybe they were in the countryside.

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Speaker 1: Well we'll see. I think we're about to get some context.

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Speaker 1: So much time to just develop our relationship and love

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Speaker 1: each other we.

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Speaker 2: Have this is a singular experience.

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Speaker 1: I think you think it's one to one way. Well no,

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's. It's like, oh, this is great,

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Speaker 1: and she's like it's cool. I'm just like here with you.

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Speaker 2: That isn't what I meant, But maybe I meant like

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Speaker 2: I don't think anyone else was having the same experience

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Speaker 2: that they were.

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Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, no one else had those experience. My god,

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Speaker 1: we have had such a wonderful relationship, always able to

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Speaker 1: communicate with each other about our feelings, understand each other,

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Speaker 1: and always insistent on not allowing ourselves to become too codependent.

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Speaker 1: You know what I feel like? This is Sophia. Have

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Speaker 1: you ever watched Kitchen Nightmares with the rule? Is he

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Speaker 1: always he often asks, what would you rate your food

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Speaker 1: out of ten? The higher they rate their food the worst.

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Speaker 1: It actually is so true. So him being like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it was so amazing, we're communicating everything. The fact that

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Speaker 1: he's just like gushing about how amazing the relationship is

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Speaker 1: means it is going to be the worst relationship. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think, going back to what you thought I was

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Speaker 2: saying about this being one sided, I think that might

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Speaker 2: be the case. Yeah, But I think I was right

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Speaker 2: through you, through me.

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Speaker 1: All things were right in the world. But Opie says,

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Speaker 1: we lived our own separate lives and we liked that

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Speaker 1: when together in our flat, we lived in our own

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Speaker 1: wonderful bubble, full of inside jokes and words we ascribed

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Speaker 1: our own meanings to. We always likened the strength of

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Speaker 1: our relationship to the fact that we were friends first,

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Speaker 1: no jealousy ever, rarely ever arguments. This is again with

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Speaker 1: every line that the relations the fall is just going

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Speaker 1: to be worse and worse. I know it already.

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Speaker 2: It's going downhills so quickly, or it will.

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Speaker 1: At least, And when there were arguments, we always managed

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Speaker 1: to handle it well. We've talked extensively about our future.

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Speaker 1: We've said that we want to be married to each other.

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Speaker 1: I have jokingly proposed to her dozens of times, always

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Speaker 1: mortifying her, Oh God, and have picked out names for

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Speaker 1: our future kids. We're not ready for any of that yet,

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Speaker 1: as we are building our careers, but always felt like

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Speaker 1: this was it. She has had a job for the

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Speaker 1: past four years that she ended up hating. She quit

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Speaker 1: earlier this year and has been saving up to go traveling.

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Speaker 1: Get ready. She did the Philippines and is now in Australia.

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Speaker 1: She's been there for two months alone. When she first went,

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Speaker 1: I told her that she needs to fully embrace it

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Speaker 1: and not worry about me. The argument was simple, really,

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Speaker 1: our our our, our arrangement tennessee, our our our tenancy

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Speaker 1: in our flat ended the same time she planned to travel,

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Speaker 1: so I moved in with a friend and she was

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Speaker 1: away for three months. Another story where the significant other

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Speaker 1: is away for months on end, months on end. It's

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Speaker 1: not going well well. To oh Pie's credit, it seems

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Speaker 1: that he is like, not super supportive, founds very like honestly, uh,

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Speaker 1: other than just being a possibly wofully naive idiot. Yeah, uh, it's.

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Speaker 2: Like everything was going great, I said, go show yourself

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Speaker 2: for three months, be free. Oh oh my god, she died.

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Speaker 1: The relationship. The relationship, Yeah, that's a metaphor. That's a metaphor.

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Speaker 1: You don't mean analogies. You know me and analogies. We

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Speaker 1: got a little thing going on over there, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. But our goal, which we discussed a lot,

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Speaker 1: was that when she returns, she'd find a new job,

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Speaker 1: we would find a place and resume our life together.

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Speaker 1: Slowly we started talking less and less. Guys, We just

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Speaker 1: we just we were, we were we were climbing up

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Speaker 1: the roller coaster. We just got here. And now it's

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Speaker 1: like we're peaking over the edge to this. That's what

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Speaker 1: is about to happen. We started talking less and like

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Speaker 1: and whilst at first I was happy, there were little

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Speaker 1: things that were ringing alarm bells, such little things, but

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Speaker 1: when you know someone well, and when you know your

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Speaker 1: relationship well, these small things they stand out. She'd I'm

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Speaker 1: so in tune. I'm so intune everything I under. I

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Speaker 1: can feel her heartbeat, I can feel her neurons synaps.

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Speaker 1: She would not reply for days at a time, but

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Speaker 1: still post on her ig story classic. She'd post things

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Speaker 1: like feet and a Wallaby, but not share that with me. Important.

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Speaker 1: I love animals and she knows how childlike I get

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Speaker 1: around them. And she always said she feels sad seeing

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Speaker 1: animals without me because she can't see my reactions to them.

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Speaker 1: But now she's not sharing them with me. She's hoarding

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Speaker 1: the animals to ourself, like an animal, you know what.

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Speaker 1: She's like, I'm not codependent. Oh my god. Yeah, they

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Speaker 1: talked it. They were like, let's not be codependent, and

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Speaker 1: she's like that, and maybe it was maybe it was

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Speaker 1: a situation of she's like, yeah, I just have like

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Speaker 1: no attachment to you, so I'm not codependent and I

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Speaker 1: just do my thing. But we just happened to like

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Speaker 1: live together and we just we just lived there.

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Speaker 2: It would be so sad if because I think I

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Speaker 2: started their the relationship six months before COVID, Yeah, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it would be incredibly sad if he was like, you know,

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Speaker 2: this six month is going great, let's move in, and

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Speaker 2: she's like okay, yeah, like we can figure out this relationship.

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Speaker 2: And then they get into COVID, are not allowed to leave,

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Speaker 2: and she's just growing like resentful of the relationship but

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Speaker 2: can't leave, and he's like.

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Speaker 1: It's going great.

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Speaker 2: She's staying with me, and she's like, I'm only here

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Speaker 2: because I don't have anywhere else to go.

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's like that, yeah, or pop or

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Speaker 1: well this, it's not this. But I was gonna say,

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Speaker 1: what if she just like use it like a roommate

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Speaker 1: plus oh, like a COVID with benefices quarantine Gordon benefits.

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Speaker 1: And now that the world is open and she can travel,

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Speaker 1: and she's also saying she's been shackled to both their

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Speaker 1: apartment and her job. No, now she's about to be

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Speaker 1: free of both, winding both right whoo. So I brought

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Speaker 1: this up one month into her traveling, firstly framed in

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Speaker 1: a I miss you kind of way, and it landed well,

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Speaker 1: and she said she'd try to talk to me a

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Speaker 1: bit more, but she just withdrew even more. I brought

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Speaker 1: it up again two weeks later, this time with a

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Speaker 1: bit more of maybe we can try to talk a

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Speaker 1: bit more. I also mentioned at this stage that I

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Speaker 1: regret telling her before she traveled that I would be

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Speaker 1: fine with not talking much. Oh oh, he did say that.

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Speaker 1: I forgot about that. Oh wait, why did he do that? Op?

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Speaker 1: He's like, don't worry, just do your thing.

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Speaker 2: Oh when you have I feel like, when you're in

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Speaker 2: a relationship, if you say, hey, you know to your partner,

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Speaker 2: you can go on this trip. I feel like to

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Speaker 2: maintain that relationship you need to.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like a hey, don't feel

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Speaker 1: like you have to be like changed to your phone,

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Speaker 1: like God, enjoy your life and we'll just we'll just

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Speaker 1: find times that that you know, work for both of us,

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Speaker 1: and we'll we'll make this. I want to make a

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Speaker 1: collective effort to communicate and stay in touch with you

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Speaker 1: while also giving you your like space over here to

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Speaker 1: go and explore and have fun. Like it has to

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Speaker 1: be kind of like a thing like that. Right, how

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Speaker 1: old are they as well? Thirty one and twenty six?

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Speaker 2: Okay now and she's twenty six.

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Speaker 1: She's like probably twenty five twenty six at this point.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, that four years is not long enough for

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Speaker 2: her to go on a three month trip and like

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Speaker 2: and want to continue relationship without any contact, you know.

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Speaker 1: Play smell a Sophia's Golden rule bubbling up? Give us

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Speaker 1: a rule? Is there?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't have it, Like it's not officialized.

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Speaker 1: You know, we're making an official, now one one how

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Speaker 1: about one month for every two years. It's like it's

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Speaker 1: like a work sabbatical, like you unlock exa sabbatical.

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Speaker 2: And when you get to ten years, your tenured, and

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Speaker 2: so you usually can just I don't know, you get

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Speaker 2: three months, you unlock three months.

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Speaker 1: Okay, ten years is three months?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, three months without contact.

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Speaker 1: Three months without contact Jesus, or maybe just limited contact.

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Speaker 1: I like how, I like how we went from like, oh,

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Speaker 1: just traveling around to like all right, no, to limit

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Speaker 1: in contact.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, but they know you've told.

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Speaker 1: Them you're leaving, but you can't talk to them anyways.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna we're gonna put that officially in the book

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Speaker 1: and not let something change at all. It's gonna reflect

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Speaker 1: on her for eternity. Okay, let's go. So she understood

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Speaker 1: and promised. We talked more, but we talked less. Okay.

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Speaker 1: A few days ago, I bring it up again, and

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Speaker 1: this time it was different. Each time. She always insisted

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Speaker 1: that she was in a bubble and that she needed

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Speaker 1: focus one hundred percent on travel. I asked her if

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Speaker 1: she could just give me five minutes every few days

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Speaker 1: just to say hello, just to say hi. But she

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Speaker 1: said she wasn't sure she could even do that.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, Okay, I was traveling for three months,

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Speaker 2: and I actually would there were like every morning I

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Speaker 2: would like wake up and I would go on a walk,

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Speaker 2: and I would call my mom and my dad and

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Speaker 2: I'm like all of my friends. I feel like there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of time where you're just walking alone.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was traveling with people.

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Speaker 2: I can't imagine how much time you, like if you're

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Speaker 2: traveling solo where you would just be like exploring a

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Speaker 2: city alone.

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Speaker 1: Especially if you're just rout. Like my girlfriend is in

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Speaker 1: New York right now, and it has been hard because

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Speaker 1: like she she like graduated, is doing team week with

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Speaker 1: her company. So like, but we're in like constant contact

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Speaker 1: with each other, at least via text. Yeah. No, no, no.

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Speaker 2: I was talking to like my like four of my friends,

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Speaker 2: well two of my friends consistently almost like every other day, uh,

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Speaker 2: for thirty two minutes to an hour or if they

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Speaker 2: would call me and I couldn't pick up, I'd be like, hey, sorry,

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Speaker 2: I can't talk right now. And I was still communicating

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Speaker 2: with them, and those were my like, these are my friends,

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Speaker 2: this is their this is a four year relationship.

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Speaker 1: Like I feel like they're not even texting each other with.

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Speaker 2: Those are my friends with two years who are my

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Speaker 2: best friends? But two years versus a four year relationship.

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Speaker 1: This really upset me because we are, oh, Sophie, we

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Speaker 1: are six years in at this point. Oh six years,

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Speaker 1: not ten, not ten. I haven't earned it and we

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Speaker 1: have always had a strong relationship that I was surprised

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Speaker 1: at how unwilling she was. I don't I don't believe

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Speaker 1: him anymore. Yeah, this is crazy. I said we needed

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Speaker 1: to talk about this properly over the phone, and she

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Speaker 1: suggested the following night. Her time is h o z uh.

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Speaker 2: Well, I think she was in Australia and the Philippines, so.

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Speaker 1: Right different yeah, different time zone, which would make it

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Speaker 1: around eight to ten am my time.

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Speaker 2: Oh that is true. If she's in Australia and he's in.

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Speaker 1: The timing is hard.

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Speaker 2: The timing is really hard because I have a lot

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Speaker 2: of family and it's very hard for me to like.

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Speaker 2: You have to like it, you have to time it

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Speaker 2: really well.

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Speaker 1: Yes, one hundred percent. I was ready at that time,

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Speaker 1: but she postponed it in an hour as she was

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Speaker 1: going for a sunset walk, and then going off for

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Speaker 1: dinner with her friends. Then it was postponed further, but

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Speaker 1: I can no longer make the call as I had

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Speaker 1: a client meeting. I told her how upset I was

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Speaker 1: that she prioritized a sunset walk over our relationship and

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Speaker 1: that she already had two months of them. That's so true. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's so true. True.

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Speaker 2: He was like, we need to have an important relate

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Speaker 2: to talk about a relationship, and she was like, for sure,

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Speaker 2: once I hit the sunset walk.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I got a date with my old pal the sun. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that sounds pretty romantic. Also, who's she going on that

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Speaker 1: sunset walk? True? Because she went on a sunset walk

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Speaker 1: and then a dinner.

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Speaker 2: Because if it's a solo sunset walk, then why can't

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Speaker 2: she call? But if it's not a solo.

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Speaker 1: Sake exactly on Honestly, I told her how I've said

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Speaker 1: it was that she prioritized a sunset walk over our

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Speaker 1: relationship and that she had had already two months of them,

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Speaker 1: and that I was only asking for one evening so

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Speaker 1: we could talk about the future of our relationship. She

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Speaker 1: agreed that we needed to talk about the future of

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Speaker 1: our relationship, but she said she couldn't do that until

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Speaker 1: she returned home in five weeks. They just wait, just

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Speaker 1: wait five weeks, hold on, wait, just wait, mental health.

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Speaker 1: I need five weeks of mental health. Okay, Okay, there

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Speaker 1: we go. I said I couldn't wait that long and

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Speaker 1: quickly called her. My client was late, Luckily. Essentially, she said,

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Speaker 1: she's so confused right now because she's in a bubble

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Speaker 1: of traveling. I'm so confused and uh, but she's just

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Speaker 1: not sure that she wants this, that she wants this anymore.

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Speaker 1: She floated the idea of wanting to move out to US.

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Speaker 1: I get that, I want to move to Australia. She

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Speaker 1: clearly doesn't see me in her future anymore. I am

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Speaker 1: just so blindsided because we were so close and strong

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Speaker 1: and happy before, and now she's traveling and it's totally

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Speaker 1: changed everything. I asked her if she still loves me,

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Speaker 1: and she wasn't sure she could answer that. She was

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Speaker 1: very much down the middle about everything, clearly confused about

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Speaker 1: the situation, but not wanting to cause too much of

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Speaker 1: an interference to rebubble right now. My impression was that

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Speaker 1: she wanted to just ignore this was happening until she

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Speaker 1: came back.

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Speaker 2: It feels a bit like for her specifically, because he's saying, oh,

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Speaker 2: it was so amazing, It's so amazing. I feel like

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Speaker 2: there was a bit of manufactured intimacy during their time

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Speaker 2: in COVID in quarantine, Like when you're together that much,

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Speaker 2: you feel maybe she thought she was closer to him

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Speaker 2: or she was more in love with him than she

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Speaker 2: actually was, and then this time away she's like, actually,

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Speaker 2: I want.

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Speaker 1: I have different ideas for my life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, which still for sure sucks for him. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: that unfortunately, I feel like I don't think she's the

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Speaker 2: A hole for realizing this. It definitely sucks, though she

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Speaker 2: should have, you know, pulled him a little bit sooner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually that's a that's a very good question. Was

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Speaker 1: she the a wholeness because if we recall, yeah, just

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Speaker 1: shortly before, he was literally like, please go on this trip,

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Speaker 1: don't worry about you know, he was like, yo, go go,

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Speaker 1: like have fun. And if it is indeed true that

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Speaker 1: she had this realization on this trip on.

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Speaker 2: Her own tune like as long as she's not cheating.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I I I want to call her the A hole,

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Speaker 1: and I think I think she is the A hole.

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Speaker 2: But how so because I might agree with you, but

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I yeah, right. It's like it's like we we

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Speaker 1: feel that she she we feel that she is the

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Speaker 1: a whole. But why because they did agree, let's do it.

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Speaker 1: Let's do a poll real quick, Okay.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well I'm right now, like I might agree with

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Speaker 2: you is more what I meant, But right now I

337
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Speaker 2: am on the side of she's you know what.

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Speaker 1: She didn't she didn't communicate.

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Speaker 2: That's fair, that's that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that was huge because like at least like she's

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Speaker 1: literally like she said, hey, let's do this at this

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Speaker 1: time and totally blew him off. Yeah, when she has

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Speaker 1: been blowing him off, and like I think she knows it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she didn't want to have this conversation because she

345
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Speaker 2: knew that it was over for her.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it's a it's a breakup, hard conversation and she

347
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Speaker 1: just doesn't want to have the uncomfortable conversation. I agree.

348
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Speaker 1: But and she's not doing him the courtesy. She's disrespecting

349
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Speaker 1: his time. I mean, really, you know.

350
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Speaker 2: What, I'm on your side. I think she is the

351
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,440
Speaker 2: She would not have been the a hole for having

352
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Speaker 2: this realization and bringing it up to him.

353
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Speaker 1: But I think she I agreed, did she like communicated?

354
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Speaker 1: But honestly, I feel like she probably knew this like

355
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Speaker 1: way early in her trip. Yeah, she might have honestly

356
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Speaker 1: gone on the trip because she.

357
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:04,040
Speaker 2: Knew because she knew, in which case I think she

358
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Speaker 2: would be the a hole for leading him on.

359
00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 1: Yes, Opie says, where do I go now? I'm so lost,

360
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:14,119
Speaker 1: so confused, so hurt browning emoji. I want to be

361
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Speaker 1: with her and spend my life with her, but she

362
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Speaker 1: just might not want that now and quick deal, the

363
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,439
Speaker 1: our girlfriend of six years is currently traveling and she

364
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 1: has decided she's not sure she wants to stay together.

365
00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 1: This is very blindsided and I am confused. A f

366
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,280
Speaker 1: Roman comments, What's name? One? Two three? Says, I mean,

367
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 1: you guys managed to put a wonderful gloss on how

368
00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:38,400
Speaker 1: great extended solo travel is going to be for both

369
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Speaker 1: of you. But that but that, I'm afraid was never realistic. Ouch.

370
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,800
Speaker 1: If one person feels they need to disappear for a

371
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Speaker 1: long period after six years, then the relationship just wasn't

372
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Speaker 1: strong in her mind. I'm curious. I would love to see,

373
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Speaker 1: Hey Sam, Sam, what do you? Sam? Sit in this chair?

374
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:01,880
Speaker 1: Are you gonna do? Sure?

375
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,600
Speaker 2: You to keep the door open.

376
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,320
Speaker 1: I have to leave right now. We're gonna give you okay.

377
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:09,840
Speaker 1: So this person said, uh, yeah, I'll be Only if

378
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 1: one person feels they need to disappear for a long

379
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 1: period after six years in a relationship, then the relationship

380
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Speaker 1: just wasn't that strong in her mind. For three months,

381
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:21,800
Speaker 1: that's fine. Three months and a six year relationship easy

382
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,560
Speaker 1: light work. I've also been in multiple long distance relationships,

383
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:27,440
Speaker 1: so it's like, there we go. I feel like, yeah,

384
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:29,560
Speaker 1: when you put in the context of a long distance

385
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,479
Speaker 1: remote relationship, it does. Actually, but I was long distance

386
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Speaker 1: for like two years.

387
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,919
Speaker 2: Come on, but do you think to have oh no,

388
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 2: the doors but to slam? Do you think to have

389
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:43,359
Speaker 2: a like good long distance relationship you need to communicate?

390
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,560
Speaker 1: That is true? Yeah, yeah, you have. You have to

391
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,639
Speaker 1: be overly communicating.

392
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 2: There was a lack of community, was there?

393
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,399
Speaker 1: Was it? Three months no contact? What about five minutes

394
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 1: every three days? Acceptable? Are they a war reporter? If

395
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,720
Speaker 1: they're a war reporter, what if she's focusing on traveling,

396
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 1: let's get back. Yeah to the comments, I couldn't imagine

397
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 1: leaving my significant other behind that she could make me

398
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 1: think things weren't as rosy in her mind as they

399
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:15,200
Speaker 1: were in yours. High chance that she wanted some space

400
00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,800
Speaker 1: from an intense relationship to think about if she was

401
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,840
Speaker 1: building a life she really wanted. And it seems like

402
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:24,879
Speaker 1: her answer is edging ords no oh, my booning towards

403
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 1: the end of a relationship. Unfortunately, it looks like heartbreak.

404
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,680
Speaker 1: Even if she comes back now, I'm not sure that

405
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,879
Speaker 1: her behavior is consistent with just getting back to normal,

406
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: Opie says. There is certainly a possibility. She has always

407
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 1: been passionate about traveling, more passionate than us now I'm

408
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 1: just kidding, and did so before we met too. She

409
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:49,280
Speaker 1: lost two close grandparents two years ago and has been

410
00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:52,200
Speaker 1: extraordinarily stressed about her crappy job she had.

411
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,800
Speaker 2: I wonder if that was during do COVID though.

412
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,920
Speaker 1: I think it. Yeah, I think there's some that. Yeah,

413
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 1: I think that might also. I mean, even if it

414
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: was been twenty twenty two.

415
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:07,560
Speaker 2: Actually, okay, well even if it wasn't, I think losing two,

416
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 2: if she was close to them, losing two like family members,

417
00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: might have also kind of like stuck her in.

418
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:18,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, because maybe she's like, I need emotional support right now,

419
00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 1: which is even more ft because She's like, I used

420
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,960
Speaker 1: you for your emotional support, and I no, I'm good, Okay,

421
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 1: I can't talk in five and five weeks. I'll see

422
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 1: there goodbye.

423
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,120
Speaker 2: No, I think I think this is I think I'm yeah,

424
00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 2: I'm on your I'm on board with you.

425
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, she she she very much owes, she owed him communications.

426
00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:38,720
Speaker 2: A lot more. And I think this was just kind

427
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:41,359
Speaker 2: of cowardly of the way that she handled it.

428
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,439
Speaker 1: Yes, based off of what we're reading, Yes, I agree.

429
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,960
Speaker 1: I agree with the context we have, which is the

430
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 1: only thing we only context we can look off of.

431
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:55,119
Speaker 1: So but if things weren't as rosy, I trust she

432
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: will tell me and when she's home and out of

433
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,840
Speaker 1: her bubble. I don't know if you to have that trust. Op.

434
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 1: I think that there's certainly credence to this. For several

435
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,159
Speaker 1: reasons too. The life she was living with me, maybe

436
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 1: marred by her job, by the general depressing dullness of England,

437
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:14,560
Speaker 1: et cetera, and living such a different life whilst traveling

438
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 1: in beautiful places might only reinforce that and make her

439
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:21,480
Speaker 1: associate it all with me. So basically, like, hey, the

440
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 1: crappy life that I had, she's kind of like loop

441
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,359
Speaker 1: just like lumping in OPE with that and like associating

442
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:31,199
Speaker 1: all those bad feelings with OP in the relationship. We

443
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:34,480
Speaker 1: have an updated Ladies and gentlemen. But yeah, we're both

444
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 1: in agreement, right, Sophia, This OP is the a whole.

445
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 2: Oh oh no, they live in England. I just didn't Yeah, yes,

446
00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 2: I'm just thinking of times.

447
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 1: Yes. Oh yeah, so England. Yeah, actually England and Australia

448
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:48,399
Speaker 1: is much way better.

449
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 2: You can well, okay, it's different. There's still I mean

450
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,600
Speaker 2: it's still like off.

451
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 1: But yeah.

452
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 2: So for if I wanted to call my grandparents or

453
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 2: like my family in Australia here, I will call them

454
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 2: at night, yes, And if I were to do that

455
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 2: in London, I would have to call them in the morning,

456
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 2: like before twelve.

457
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:11,480
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a yeah, it's not like twelve hours off

458
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 1: like like Australia. It's like maybe maybe six out of who.

459
00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 2: No, it's just you have to call it different times. Yeah,

460
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:17,520
Speaker 2: you have to call in the morning.

461
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: Yes, updates. So it's been a grueling two weeks uh,

462
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:24,080
Speaker 1: in which I took everyone's advice as well as my

463
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,679
Speaker 1: own judgment, and I didn't contact her at all. It

464
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 1: was insanely difficult because I didn't really know anything about

465
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: her perspective at all, and I felt like I was

466
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:35,320
Speaker 1: in limbo, which I would totally I totally see that. Yeah,

467
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 1: I would be very weird. I didn't know where I stood,

468
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: I didn't know where she stood. Every day was day

469
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 1: one of grieving, and the longer time went, the more

470
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:48,280
Speaker 1: difficult it became. She had acted so coldly with me

471
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,120
Speaker 1: with regards to talking to me about what was happening,

472
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 1: and as I said my original post, she had prioritized

473
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 1: her traveling over my well being and or the well

474
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 1: being of our relationship. It was really hurting me because

475
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: she knows me well, and I felt really confused and

476
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,880
Speaker 1: frankly traumatized that she was refusing to give me any answers.

477
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:10,040
Speaker 1: It was driving me insane. I wasn't eating or sleeping,

478
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,480
Speaker 1: I wasn't working. I'm self employed and couldn't concentrate on anything.

479
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: I cried a lot. After a certain point, I decided

480
00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,800
Speaker 1: that I couldn't continue this any longer. I mean, Opie

481
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:24,400
Speaker 1: needs closure, at least at least tell him that God

482
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 1: got Lee, the poor guy Coee. Like I just feel

483
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:32,439
Speaker 1: bad for I really do, because I think that like

484
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 1: Opie did nothing wrong, but being like, Nai, yeah.

485
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 2: He's just naive, and everyone's like, oh, he's like everyone

486
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 2: in the chat is saying he's naive. But you know what,

487
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:41,879
Speaker 2: sometimes people are.

488
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:46,040
Speaker 1: Bad at reading things. That is, that's true. But like also,

489
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 1: like we've we've had a lot of people who were

490
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:51,440
Speaker 1: like for instance, lots of people often are naive and

491
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:57,479
Speaker 1: like hurtful unintentionally. But OPI is like naive and likest.

492
00:25:58,760 --> 00:25:59,239
Speaker 1: That's what I mean.

493
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 2: I feel bad for him. He's just like I don't

494
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:03,920
Speaker 2: think he's reading things.

495
00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 1: Got anything wrong, No, I don't think so.

496
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:09,800
Speaker 2: No, He's been so supportive. I feel so bad for him.

497
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,320
Speaker 2: The only thing he's done wrong is that he's he's

498
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 2: not read into the relationship more than you know. I

499
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 2: don't know, yeah, but he what it was on the surface.

500
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,159
Speaker 1: After a certain point, I decided I couldn't continue this

501
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,640
Speaker 1: any longer, and although I tried to respect her need

502
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 1: for space, I needed to respect my own need for answers.

503
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: I like that, so I reached out to her again.

504
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 1: Two days ago. We had a long, two hour video chat.

505
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:39,040
Speaker 1: She's currently in Vietnam. She sat in the hall of

506
00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,320
Speaker 1: a hostel and we talked openly warmly, honestly and in

507
00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:45,080
Speaker 1: depth about both of our feelings. There were a lot

508
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 1: of tears. It was a very emotionally draining conversation, but

509
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 1: it gave me a lot of answers and resolved a

510
00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:52,919
Speaker 1: lot of the turbulence that I had experienced. I had

511
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: written her a letter on the morning of the scheduled call,

512
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 1: and I read it out to her. I explained how

513
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 1: she made me feel and how unm pathetic I felt

514
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 1: she was. She took this on board on a profound level,

515
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 1: deeply apologized, and I could tell that she was truly

516
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 1: hurt with herself that she behaved like that. I mean,

517
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 1: tell me what you're thinking, Yes, but I am like little,

518
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 1: I feel like a little too late in many ways.

519
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:29,640
Speaker 1: So yeah, I feel like it was very like honestly,

520
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 1: in these stories, it's it's like what is in the

521
00:27:32,040 --> 00:27:36,760
Speaker 1: realm of reasonable. I think her being like, oh, hey, like, uh,

522
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: I missed a taxi or whatever or something like that,

523
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: like sometimes things happen. But like the way that she

524
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:46,640
Speaker 1: prioritized the sunset and then going out, well, that's the thing.

525
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,600
Speaker 2: I think that sunset talk that she missed was the

526
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:54,560
Speaker 2: final we need to talk about this relationship. Yes, like

527
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,880
Speaker 2: his final like yeah, please, you know, you know, let's

528
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 2: do it. And I think this is this is post

529
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:05,520
Speaker 2: relationship talk back, you know, yeah, this is like, Okay,

530
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 2: where did we go wrong? We're not going back to

531
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,000
Speaker 2: the relationship, but you know, well.

532
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just feel like and comments, let me know

533
00:28:13,320 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 1: how you feel, because I'm very curious on your perspective.

534
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: I mean, actually, maybe we do another poll. Was Opie's

535
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:23,480
Speaker 1: girlfriend led off too easy? Opie's girlfriend led off too easy?

536
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 1: I think he's I think he's really nice? Is the problem? Yeah,

537
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: I yeah, but AnyWho, So, she acknowledged that she had

538
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,800
Speaker 1: buried her head in the sand from the feelings. It

539
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 1: was truly powerful to hear her be so candid. This

540
00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 1: was the girl I had fallen in love with. She

541
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: was usually so empathetic, smart, sensitive to her so her

542
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 1: behavior in the past few weeks being so opposite of

543
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: that created such strange feelings in me. I mean, Opie

544
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: was like not eating or sleeping, Like, yeah, I don't

545
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:51,520
Speaker 1: know if she realizes that.

546
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 2: I don't think she knows what he was I don't

547
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 2: think she's asked what he was doing or what he

548
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 2: was feeling.

549
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 1: Yes, I was glad that we were walking back on

550
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,440
Speaker 1: that level we were usually so good at. But long

551
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: story short, it is over. You see, I am her

552
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 1: first boyfriend ever. Oh sure she has slipped with a

553
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 1: fast shale of lads, But I am her first relationship.

554
00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: We met. We met when I was twenty two and

555
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: she was eighteen. Wow. I was really the only man

556
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:23,600
Speaker 1: in her life for a long time. They're now thirty

557
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 1: one and twenty six.

558
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 2: Okay, okay too. Just to clarify, yes, they so they met,

559
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 2: but they were friends first.

560
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,640
Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually, so I might have been a little bit wrong.

561
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 1: I thought that their friendship started with them kind of

562
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 1: like making out and then like you know, being more

563
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 1: long distance. Maybe they did have a decently flourishing friendship first,

564
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 1: then it became like you know, they were just like

565
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 1: making out and stuff, and then it was like long

566
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: distance in chat much and then eventually became a relationship.

567
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, so maybe their relationship started like a I don't know,

568
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:54,360
Speaker 2: did they.

569
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: Say it's yeah, yeah, we met when I was twenty

570
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,080
Speaker 1: two and she was eighteen, which dude, but like they're like.

571
00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:05,840
Speaker 2: Actual romantic Oh, they've been in a relationship for romantic

572
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 2: relationship for six years at this point at thirty one

573
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,959
Speaker 2: and twenty six. Okay, so so when she was so

574
00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,080
Speaker 2: two years after they.

575
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: Met, Yes, there we go. Okay, thank you. Look at

576
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: that she's math mathing, mathing while producing math. I'm just

577
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: sitting here. I'm just I just have my my butt

578
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 1: in the seat next to my pigeon friends. Oh my god,

579
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 1: Google Hunting a movie I have seen. Yeah, that's a

580
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 1: great movie. That is phenomenal movie. That's the one with

581
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 1: Robin Williams and and.

582
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:36,840
Speaker 2: Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.

583
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, I have seen that. Yeah. I love Robin.

584
00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 2: I love I have like a like a time in

585
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 2: the year where I just rewatched all of the Robin

586
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:45,480
Speaker 2: william movies.

587
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 1: That's awesome.

588
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,840
Speaker 2: It's so I love him so much. That is I

589
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 2: think he's such a brilliant He was such a brilliant actor.

590
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 1: Dude, Rip rip to a beautiful man. Back to the story.

591
00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 1: So I was really the only man in her life

592
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: for a long time. She's now traveling. It just feels

593
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,440
Speaker 1: a deep sense within herself that she needs to explore

594
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 1: herself and her life without a partner. Yeah.

595
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 2: Having the first boyfriend at twenty twenty to twenty six

596
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:15,200
Speaker 2: years Yeah, that is a lot of time where normally

597
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 2: people are figuring themselves out.

598
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 1: I think the Beyonce rule is good. Do you know

599
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 1: the Beyonce rule? No tell She was like, as a woman,

600
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 1: I feel you need to at least experience life on

601
00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: your own at least to like twenty five twenty six

602
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: before you can start thinking about being married.

603
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 2: And then yeah, well I've talked to my friends about this,

604
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,920
Speaker 2: and like I have or I was talking to someone

605
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,440
Speaker 2: about like what I want in a relationship, and I

606
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 2: feel like I do not consider like the people that

607
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 2: I'm getting in a relationship with, like as someone I

608
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:50,840
Speaker 2: want to be married with, because I'm not even thinking

609
00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 2: about marriage right now.

610
00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 1: Yes, I think that is, which is not to.

611
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 2: Say I like, that is not the realm. Yeah, well

612
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:58,760
Speaker 2: not even to say that I wouldn't do it with,

613
00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 2: Like I wouldn't be married to them, but I'm not

614
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,680
Speaker 2: thinking about them as I get into their relationship.

615
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: You know, you're not thinking about them as a as like.

616
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 2: A potential life partner.

617
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, yeah, which I think is to I think, like.

618
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 2: Which is different than maybe someone who's like twenty eight, yes,

619
00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 2: and you know, getting a relationship because that might be

620
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:17,840
Speaker 2: on their mind more.

621
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 1: One hundred percent, which I feel like when you're like

622
00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,680
Speaker 1: really young in your early twenties, just exploring and like

623
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: meeting people and like dating and just like every every

624
00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 1: aspect of life that you can experience. Just to have

625
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 1: the full variety of human life and experience on your

626
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: own as an independent human before then bringing your life

627
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:40,000
Speaker 1: together with someone else is a is a great thing.

628
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,760
Speaker 2: On average, people are living so much longer now you've

629
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:44,280
Speaker 2: got time.

630
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm I'm a big proponent of that. I think

631
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 1: I think that it's good twenty five twenty six before

632
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,480
Speaker 1: you even like you know, I mean, anyone could do

633
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,719
Speaker 1: what they want. Yeah, I like to beance role anyways,

634
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,720
Speaker 1: I like it too. So she needs to be alone

635
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,920
Speaker 1: to do this. I completely und this. It's not what

636
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,680
Speaker 1: I wanted to hear, but it's something I obviously understand

637
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 1: and want. It all stand in the way of too nice.

638
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: She's planning to move to Australia for a while, so

639
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 1: understanding painful. She's planning to move to Australia for a

640
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,440
Speaker 1: while and continue her soul search. Right now, she just

641
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 1: doesn't see as place for me and what she needs

642
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 1: from her life. It's heartbreaking. I'm heartbroken. I love her deeply.

643
00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:25,000
Speaker 1: She still loves me, but sometimes that just isn't enough.

644
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: And that's all there really is to it. A lot

645
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 1: of you suggested, sometimes with quite cruel starkiness, that she

646
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:35,640
Speaker 1: was cheating. She wasn't. How do we know that. I'm

647
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:39,360
Speaker 1: sure some of you will still believe that, But that's fine.

648
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe you just haven't been in a real adult

649
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 1: relationship where there is honesty and transparency. Damn hope you

650
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 1: taken out hurt people. Hurt people over here. This is

651
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 1: not about another man, This is not about her. This

652
00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:54,520
Speaker 1: is just about her recalibrating what she wants from her future.

653
00:33:55,040 --> 00:33:57,840
Speaker 1: Now I need to figure out how to recalibrate my

654
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: own future. We had talked extent about marriage. I was

655
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,479
Speaker 1: ready to spend my life with her. We already had

656
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 1: named our future kids. Everything about that future that we

657
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:13,200
Speaker 1: had envisioned is now gone. It is really difficult right

658
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 1: now to imagine being with anyone else because the depth

659
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,839
Speaker 1: of our relationship was so strong. Every night I am

660
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:23,360
Speaker 1: awoken by the isms of our relationship, the small quirks,

661
00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 1: the inside jokes, the made up language that we use,

662
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:28,960
Speaker 1: the tone of voice that we would speak to each other,

663
00:34:29,040 --> 00:34:31,360
Speaker 1: and the food we need together, the things we do together,

664
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,120
Speaker 1: the songs we'd sing together are touched. The warmth of

665
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,040
Speaker 1: her body against mine, the smell of perfume, the way

666
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 1: she'd say my name in a cute way when I

667
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:46,800
Speaker 1: done something cheeky, oh bro it feels oh my good,

668
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:51,359
Speaker 1: golly goobers. So many things that are littering my mind

669
00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,799
Speaker 1: right now. Littering my mind. That is a great like

670
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:59,560
Speaker 1: descriptive descriptive way to say it. I am struggling to

671
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:02,919
Speaker 1: see through right now, struggling. I have no idea how

672
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,399
Speaker 1: I will make it through. If anyone can share any

673
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 1: advice that can help me, please Do I know the

674
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,120
Speaker 1: obvious stuff, Jim, focus on yourself, rebuild your life, but

675
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:14,280
Speaker 1: they are all intangible to me. How do I repair

676
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: my soul? How do I move on from someone I

677
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:19,799
Speaker 1: am actively still in love with. She returns to the

678
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,839
Speaker 1: United Kingdom at the start of July, and I will

679
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: be spending a few days with her. A goodbye if

680
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 1: you will Wow, Really, God, that seems so painful. It

681
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:30,360
Speaker 1: will be hard, and every fiber of my being wants

682
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,360
Speaker 1: to beg her to find a way to include me

683
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,879
Speaker 1: in her future or find ways to entertain the notion

684
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 1: that in the future we will find our way back

685
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 1: to each other in some grandiose, fantalistic stroke. I had

686
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 1: truly defined her as a sick, fatalistic stroke. I had

687
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: truly defined her as my soulmate and my best friend,

688
00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:54,840
Speaker 1: and she had done the same for me. Right now,

689
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:58,520
Speaker 1: while she's traveling. Whilst she's traveling, she's not able to

690
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 1: sit in any of those feelings, but I know they'll

691
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 1: come to her too once she returns to her parents

692
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,759
Speaker 1: and lives there for six months as she saves for

693
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 1: her future traveling. I don't know what the future looks

694
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 1: like now. If anyone has any advice, please do Oh

695
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: the pain, the pain, oh the suffering. Yeah, I mean, okay, yeah,

696
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:36,280
Speaker 1: let's let's AWA. I mean I feel that she deserved,

697
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 1: and when I say deserved, not in a a sadistic way,

698
00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:46,959
Speaker 1: but just in a bairness way that OPI could communicate

699
00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 1: and share the experience that he went, particularly during those two.

700
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,000
Speaker 2: Weeks, I think he was really forgiving.

701
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 1: And I think that like having some sort of post

702
00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 1: relationship can can consoling. Yeah, for like that time period specifically,

703
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:10,719
Speaker 1: because all I heard in the whole story was him

704
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:17,800
Speaker 1: feeling for her when he deserves some sort of feeling

705
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 1: and consolation towards himself, which maybe he got and he

706
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,879
Speaker 1: just didn't mentioned it in the writing, but the fact

707
00:37:24,920 --> 00:37:27,799
Speaker 1: that he didn't say that he told her the time

708
00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,600
Speaker 1: period that he went through for those two weeks while

709
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 1: trying to give her space. Yeah, Like, I feel like

710
00:37:31,600 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: at least being like, I am so sorry for that

711
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 1: specific incident, is is owed and would do something even

712
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 1: if it helps ope by half a percent? Yeah? You know.

713
00:37:43,640 --> 00:37:46,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think she got off pretty easy,

714
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:50,319
Speaker 2: very easy. Yeah, which is I think my like you

715
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 2: on or my take on her is I still agree

716
00:37:52,960 --> 00:37:55,399
Speaker 2: that she's the like I think that she was. She's

717
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 2: very warranted in feeling those ways of like wanting to

718
00:37:59,120 --> 00:38:01,880
Speaker 2: experience more in life, But she's the a hole for

719
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:07,160
Speaker 2: making him wait and leading him on while she figures.

720
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:10,720
Speaker 1: That out, tortured him with zerommunication and let him on. Yeah,

721
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:11,759
Speaker 1: I think if she.

722
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 2: Had gone on the trip and said, hey, I just

723
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:15,719
Speaker 2: want to let you know, I need space to think

724
00:38:15,719 --> 00:38:18,000
Speaker 2: about the relationship. Can we go on like a break?

725
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,719
Speaker 2: I don't want I don't want to lead you on, Like,

726
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 2: can we take a moment so I can think about

727
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 2: this because you know, COVID, losing grandparents, all the stuff

728
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: has happened, and.

729
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:31,400
Speaker 1: I need it. I need a second. Yeah, if she

730
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:32,000
Speaker 1: had done.

731
00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:35,279
Speaker 2: That, that's I mean, you know, that's his decision, whether

732
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,799
Speaker 2: or not he wants to bless it or not.

733
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, to bless her or not, which he probably would, Yeah,

734
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:41,680
Speaker 1: he would.

735
00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 2: If she had done that, that would have been a

736
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 2: different story. But I think in this case, I think

737
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:54,480
Speaker 2: she behaved like she was not brave enough to give

738
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:55,400
Speaker 2: him what he deserved.

739
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:59,640
Speaker 1: It seems like he said that she was remorseful, but like, yeah,

740
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,880
Speaker 1: I feel like at a minimum apologizing for the specific things,

741
00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:07,960
Speaker 1: like if I was in her shoes and at the

742
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 1: time of that, like that when they finally had that

743
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:15,480
Speaker 1: like two hour like uh, you know, video call conversation.

744
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 1: I feel like if I was her, I would want

745
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 1: to be like, let me at least like apologize specifically

746
00:39:23,800 --> 00:39:27,840
Speaker 1: for everything and acknowledge the pain that you went through,

747
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 1: as well as be like, while I don't think I'm

748
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 1: ready to be here for you as a romantic partner

749
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,439
Speaker 1: and significant other, I do want to be here for

750
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:41,359
Speaker 1: you as a friend and just like if you need

751
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:43,400
Speaker 1: to talk if you're feeling down, if you feel like

752
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:45,840
Speaker 1: you know, and again it doesn't sound like he expressed this,

753
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:47,720
Speaker 1: but like, if you're like not eating and not sleeping,

754
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 1: just call me, you know, and like just I'll just like,

755
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 1: you know, I'll just do what I what I can.

756
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,439
Speaker 1: You know, if it does encroach upon a place where

757
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:59,720
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, becoming, I feel like I'm getting

758
00:39:59,719 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 1: pressure to the relationship, I'll let you know. But otherwise yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

759
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:14,520
Speaker 1: so true. Yeah, thanks Pigeon, Sam, Thanks, it's good. We

760
00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 1: just we just miss our boy, you know, just miss him,

761
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 1: miss him friends over here. But ladies and gentlemen, that

762
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 1: end of that story about Sophia. This is not the

763
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:35,720
Speaker 1: end of the episode, because we have one more story

764
00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 1: to the group of people who have come for our story.

765
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: What right I would say, I do concurs.

766
00:40:46,400 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 2: So we're so freaky ready, But can you tell us

767
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 2: a little bit about this question of the story.

768
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 1: So the question is should all break ups be prefaced

769
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 1: with an explanation to which Sophia? What is our answer

770
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:03,560
Speaker 1: based on this story? Yeah, resoundingly yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,

771
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:09,280
Speaker 1: throughout everything and the space time continuum a thousand times yes,

772
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:13,640
Speaker 1: that is exactly. There is only one more story for

773
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:16,480
Speaker 1: this episode. That's right, but You're but you're special.

774
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:19,719
Speaker 2: You get to watch us go through all of the episodes.

775
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 1: Let's dive right in