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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we get a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep this show propped up like

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Speaker 3: a little house.

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Speaker 2: Oh you so, Sam, It's Dump and Week, which means

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Speaker 2: we are taking out the trash emotionally speaking, that is.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, John, we have stories this week that will make

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Speaker 3: you stay fair well to those toxic relationships that you

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Speaker 3: may or may not have or maybe had the past.

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Speaker 3: You're gonna say goodbye to those and hello the red

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Speaker 3: flag free a Living.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and if you knew here looking for the

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Speaker 2: first story in the series titled my husband cheated but

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Speaker 2: he has cancer?

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Speaker 1: Should I stay?

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Speaker 2: Just click the link in our show notes last description,

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Speaker 2: or just search Dump and Week. Okay, story Time wherever

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Speaker 2: you get your podcast. Now let's get into today's story.

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Speaker 4: I'm leaving my partner of almost four years. I haven't

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Speaker 4: told him yet. I twenty eight female, am currently packing

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Speaker 4: up my life into my car in the middle of

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Speaker 4: the night to leave my partner, thirty six mail of

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Speaker 4: three and a half years, and he is at work

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Speaker 4: and has no idea. I've been on Happy in my

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Speaker 4: relationship for a while now and have recently hit my

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Speaker 4: breaking point. I want to begin by saying that my

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Speaker 4: soon to be ex partner is not a bad person.

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Speaker 4: He is kind, but we have not been in sync

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Speaker 4: for a long time now, and no matter how many

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Speaker 4: times I've tried to communicate that our situation is making

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Speaker 4: me unhappy, he doesn't seem to understand the seriousness of

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Speaker 4: the situation. How are we communicating it.

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Speaker 5: I'm just gonna with a whole judgment to get a

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Speaker 5: little more context, but I'm already frustrated.

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Speaker 4: By the way this comes from our gophobia on the

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Speaker 4: r slash oak storretime subvert it. So he works graveyard

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Speaker 4: shifts while I work a normal daytime hour. We have

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Speaker 4: maybe one full day off together a week, and he

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Speaker 4: often spends that time doing activities without me, usually as

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Speaker 4: two to three days off a week, so it's not

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Speaker 4: like he doesn't have time to do things while I'm

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Speaker 4: at work. He just doesn't seem to value the time

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Speaker 4: we could be spending together as much as I would hope.

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Speaker 4: The romance and excitement in our relationship died a while ago,

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Speaker 4: and he doesn't seem to care. I don't know if

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Speaker 4: he just doesn't value the romance aspect of a relationship,

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Speaker 4: or if he doesn't realize I'm not someone he can

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Speaker 4: provide that for. I'm tired. I'm tired of asking and

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Speaker 4: trying to set updates. I'm tired of feeling alone in

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Speaker 4: a place that's supposed to be my home. I'm tired

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Speaker 4: of crying because when I do try to bring up

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Speaker 4: these issues, he gets defensive and says he's trying and

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Speaker 4: does attempt to do romantic things with me. He doesn't,

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Speaker 4: and I often end up feeling like I'm in the wrong.

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Speaker 4: It also doesn't help that I am non confrontational and

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Speaker 4: end up giving in and letting these arguments die out

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Speaker 4: before they become something more. I recognize there is a

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Speaker 4: huge communication issue between us, but after this long together,

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Speaker 4: I have to chalk this up to lack of compatibility.

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Speaker 4: If you truly think this is a kind person, you

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Speaker 4: do not have to stay with him. It sounds like

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Speaker 4: you have a lot of relationship problems that, like you know,

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Speaker 4: break up with him. It does not sound like it's working.

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Speaker 5: I feel confused on that approach, and also like to validate,

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Speaker 5: like she's wanting to feel cared for she's wanting to

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Speaker 5: feel love, she's wanting romance. She is not getting her

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Speaker 5: romantic needs met, and that is one hundred percent an issue,

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Speaker 5: and she's trying to communicate it. Maybe they could he

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Speaker 5: talks of like how to communic cant in a way

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Speaker 5: that would be received. Or maybe it's possible that it

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Speaker 5: just won't ever be received.

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Speaker 4: I've been in a few toxic relationships before, and it

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Speaker 4: almost made it easier to leave because I was wronged

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Speaker 4: so badly. It's made me excuse a lot of issues

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Speaker 4: in this relationship because he hasn't done anything terrible to

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Speaker 4: hurt me. It makes it so much harder to leave.

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Speaker 4: But I can't ignore the fact that I am painfully

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Speaker 4: unhappy anymore. No one teaches you how to handle situations

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Speaker 4: like this. I've been wanting to leave for a while

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Speaker 4: now and feel horrible all the time for having these

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Speaker 4: thoughts because I have failed to make him understand how

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Speaker 4: I have been feeling. Our lives are so intertwined. He

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Speaker 4: bought a house two years ago, and I've been living

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Speaker 4: with him and our two cats and dogs. I never

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Speaker 4: wanted him to buy a house because it's such a

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Speaker 4: huge commitment to make, but he disregarded my opinion on

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Speaker 4: the matter and made the decision to become a homeowner.

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Speaker 4: He has a grown adult with his own money, so

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Speaker 4: who was I to stop him. In the end, it

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Speaker 4: has been one of the many things that has driven

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Speaker 4: a wedge between us these past few years. He started

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Speaker 4: the project of renovating the house, and like many of

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Speaker 4: his projects, has neglected to complete it. He started refinishing

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Speaker 4: the floors of the floor of the house. It's a

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Speaker 4: one story with a large basement, and we've been staying

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Speaker 4: in the basement so we were out of the way

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Speaker 4: of the work. It's been over two years and we're

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Speaker 4: still living in the basement. It's dark and depressing, and

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Speaker 4: I can't take it anymore. I tried to be supportive

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Speaker 4: from the jump, but I'm warm thin at this point

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Speaker 4: because progress has been on hold for far too long.

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Speaker 4: I don't know anything about home renovations, and I work

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Speaker 4: a full time job, so I don't have the time

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Speaker 4: or energy to learn a whole new and advanced skill,

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Speaker 4: especially because I never wanted this in the first place.

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Speaker 4: Not only that, but I've been doing a majority of

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Speaker 4: the house maintenance for a long time now, deep cleaning,

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Speaker 4: the house, yard work, laundry, et cetera. I could go on,

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Speaker 4: but this post is long enough. I fully believe this

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Speaker 4: place would be a disaster if I wasn't taking my

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Speaker 4: off days to do these things. I feel like a

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Speaker 4: roommate at this point. It's caused so much resentment to

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Speaker 4: build up inside, and when I try and mention working

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Speaker 4: on the house, I only get excuses. I'm not really

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Speaker 4: looking for advice at this point. I merely needed to

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Speaker 4: vent to non bias people separate from my situation. I'm

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Speaker 4: so tired and sad. When he comes home in the morning,

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Speaker 4: I fully plan on explaining that I cannot remain in

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Speaker 4: this space anymore.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so she is gonna talk to him and tell

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Speaker 5: him face to face. Thank God, we love this.

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Speaker 4: I don't know what to expect at this point. I

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Speaker 4: have packed up a considerable amount, but still have a

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Speaker 4: lot of boxes of our mixed belongings to go through

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Speaker 4: and don't have the energy to continue on tonight. Ro

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Speaker 4: annyone who has read this, thank you for listening to

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Speaker 4: my rant. I hope for those who are in similar

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Speaker 4: positions as me find that they can find peace soon

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Speaker 4: and there is an update.

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Speaker 6: I want to hear what your thoughts are.

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Speaker 4: At first, I was gonna say, if she's not talking

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Speaker 4: to him at all, that's not okay. You gotta just

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Speaker 4: at least leave a little you know, performance review as

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Speaker 4: you walk out the door, like you know, you really

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Speaker 4: didn't live up to this company's expectations. I think you

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Speaker 4: could do better at a different job. I think she

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Speaker 4: should leave this relationship because she isn't getting what she

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Speaker 4: needs and she has tried to communicate, like she's tried

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Speaker 4: to time talk to him about it, and still he's

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Speaker 4: not listening again what we've said, and it seems like

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Speaker 4: she's doing it. It's just always letting them know why

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Speaker 4: you're leaving.

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Speaker 5: There's like part of me and it's like, okay, like

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Speaker 5: it seems like to you, you made up your mind

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Speaker 5: and this relationship isn't right for you. There's just an

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Speaker 5: incompatibility and communication stuff and all that stuff, and so

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Speaker 5: it's like, of course it makes sense to be like, hey,

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Speaker 5: this isn't working for me, leaving kind of like a

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Speaker 5: part of me just wonders like if we were again,

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Speaker 5: I wasn't there we went there for how she communicated

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Speaker 5: any of this and we can't know, but I also

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Speaker 5: have curiosity around if we were completely open around our needs,

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Speaker 5: what is not being met, what is non negotiable for her,

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Speaker 5: If there's any possibility of him fully realizing the gravity

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Speaker 5: of this situation, and maybe there's possibility of them really

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Speaker 5: working on the relationship and coming together.

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Speaker 4: I think there's a huge possibility that she, you know,

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Speaker 4: didn't fully commit everything that she was angry about said

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Speaker 4: about because given that it seems like she does have

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Speaker 4: communication problem.

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Speaker 5: And conflict aversion, if it was even a thought of

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Speaker 5: her just leaving the middle of the night, it's making

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Speaker 5: me think that there's a possibility there's just like huge

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Speaker 5: fear of conflict.

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Speaker 4: But I do think that doesn't necessarily mean that, you know,

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Speaker 4: she can save this relationship, But I think that is

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Speaker 4: something to take going forward. How did I, you know,

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Speaker 4: not express my needs and stuff?

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Speaker 5: So it's not saying that when you express your needs

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Speaker 5: you will fix your relationship. It's just saying that there's

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Speaker 5: a possibility that there can be a path to a

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Speaker 5: better relationship.

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Speaker 4: Writing that post in the middle of the night, surrounded

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Speaker 4: by a mess of my belongings was a last second

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Speaker 4: decision to try and process what I was about to do.

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Speaker 4: After rereading my post and many of the comments, I

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Speaker 4: realized that there was some things that I did not

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Speaker 4: make clear when I wrote the post. I fully had

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Speaker 4: planned on talking to him face to face about breaking up,

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Speaker 4: which I did. My ex and I were not married.

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Speaker 4: I paid rent, so no, I was not free loading

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Speaker 4: off his decision to buy a house. I was constantly

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Speaker 4: communicating my unhappiness to him, and while he acknowledged what

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Speaker 4: I said, nothing changed. So I think that does give

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Speaker 4: us a little bit more into them.

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Speaker 6: And also we already got the ending on the story

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Speaker 6: they broke up.

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Speaker 4: Finally, for how the conversation went, I had packed up

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Speaker 4: as much as I could into my little car and

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Speaker 4: sat outside on the doorstep of the house around the

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Speaker 4: time he normally gets home. When he arrived, I asked

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Speaker 4: him to go for a walk with me in the

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Speaker 4: park across from the house. It took me several minutes

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Speaker 4: to work up the courage to begin. While I talked,

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Speaker 4: his face for me remained unreadable. This is something I anticipated.

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Speaker 4: He didn't initially say much other than he disagreed with

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Speaker 4: some of the things I had been feeling. He's like

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Speaker 4: I've been feeling really sad, He's like, no, it's not true.

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Speaker 6: You're actually wrong. Why are you lying that.

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Speaker 4: We've drifted apart and we lost the ability to communicate.

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Speaker 4: I told him he can't tell me what I've been

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Speaker 4: feeling is wrong just because he didn't feel that way.

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Speaker 4: I asked him if he remembered all the time I

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Speaker 4: mentioned my unhappiness, and he said yes. I asked whether

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Speaker 4: or not he felt like we weren't connecting well anymore,

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Speaker 4: and he told me he just figured that it was

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Speaker 4: because he was working more hours, not because a relationship

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Speaker 4: was fit, which is pretty sucky that he didn't even

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Speaker 4: realize this even though she was telling him over and over.

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Speaker 4: I reminded him that I needed that physical closeness and

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Speaker 4: verbal reassurance in order to feel like we were actually partners,

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Speaker 4: and I don't think he could see it from my

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Speaker 4: perspective because on paper, we didn't have any big stereotypical issues.

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Speaker 4: He eventually told me that he didn't agree with my decision,

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Speaker 4: but could see I had made up my mind and

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Speaker 4: respected that. That's good. It was fairly anticomactic. We talked

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Speaker 4: logistics about me coming back for my other belongings and

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Speaker 4: the animals I felt deflated. I know it's probably better

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Speaker 4: that he wasn't truly arguing with me and begging me

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Speaker 4: to explain more, but it's really solidified my suspicion that

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Speaker 4: this relationship had run its course. He left me with

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Speaker 4: a dry well. But it was fun.

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Speaker 1: He did not say that, did he really?

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Speaker 4: He was like good time. Yeah, it seems like he

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Speaker 4: doesn't have a lot of emotional depth and that was that.

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Speaker 4: So yeah, I think some of you were probably right

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Speaker 4: and that we were both moving in this direction already.

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Speaker 4: We truly were not each other other's person, and we

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Speaker 4: settled for a while because we had love for each other.

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Speaker 4: I want to see him thrive and be happy, but

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Speaker 4: I'm not the right person for him to find that with,

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Speaker 4: and that's okay. I am safe and staying with some

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Speaker 4: very dear friends of mine until I find a space

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Speaker 4: for myself and my cats. If anyone wants by fourteen

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Speaker 4: chapter long update I originally wrote, let me know it

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Speaker 4: was honestly cathartic to write all out and reflect on it.

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Speaker 4: Thanks for reading about my mess and for letting me

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Speaker 4: scream my frustrations out into the Reddit void. Much love

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Speaker 4: to you all.

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Speaker 5: If it seemed like he had very limited emotional reaction

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Speaker 5: to the relationship ending.

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Speaker 6: Then, yeah, it makes complete sense.

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Speaker 4: Why you would end that relationship.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, so it seems very much for the best. The

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Speaker 5: relationship ended, and I'm.

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Speaker 4: Glad that they talked about it at least. And that

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Speaker 4: is the end of this story.

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Speaker 7: My family is forcing me to share a room with

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Speaker 7: my cousin on our vacation.

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Speaker 1: But I refused.

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Speaker 8: Do they smell bad?

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Speaker 1: I said, enough, put me in a shame room with

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Speaker 1: that stinky cousin of oz not today. This is a throwaway.

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Speaker 7: I'm twenty four female, and me and three of my friends,

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Speaker 7: who are all twenty three to twenty four year old females,

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Speaker 7: are joining my family on a cruise. We were able

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Speaker 7: to capitalize on the group discount, so we decided to

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Speaker 7: take our first postgraduate real job vacation at the same

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Speaker 7: time for the cruise.

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Speaker 8: Wow, that is a big accomplishment. Congrats.

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Speaker 1: By the way.

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Speaker 7: This comes from user throw dough Jane on the Okay

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Speaker 7: Storytime subreddit. So we splurged a little and got two

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Speaker 7: adjoining balcony suites so that we have our own space.

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Speaker 7: We have booked our own excursions and all that good stuff.

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Speaker 7: I love my family, but made it clear we're not

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Speaker 7: going to spend every waking moment with them. I stopped

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Speaker 7: by dinner at my grandma's house last Sunday. One of

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Speaker 7: my older cousins asked me about my reservation and I

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Speaker 7: told her. She says, oh, then Jewles can stay with

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Speaker 7: you and the girls. What She doesn't want to be

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Speaker 7: stuck with her parents. Jewles is my twenty year old

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Speaker 7: female cousin who has some physical disabilities that make it

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Speaker 7: him possible for her to live independently. Then later I

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Speaker 7: overhear my older cousin and Jules talking about how Jules

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Speaker 7: is just going to leave her parents and siblings and

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Speaker 7: spend the.

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Speaker 1: Trip with me.

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Speaker 8: Oo, this is a tricky one.

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Speaker 7: She said, She's going to pack her stuff while no

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Speaker 7: one is paying attention and stay.

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Speaker 1: In the room with me. Boundaries. She's got a plan,

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Speaker 1: but you're not in on it.

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Speaker 7: Oh no, Well, you gotta make plans with the people

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Speaker 7: who are gonna be directly involved.

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Speaker 1: With your plans. People.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, jules disability is not and has never been an

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Speaker 7: issue with me. We just grew up in different areas,

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Speaker 7: different schools, We have different friend groups. I'm a little

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Speaker 7: older than her, and she can be a bit immature.

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Speaker 7: Jules brother comes running in the kitchen to proclaim how

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Speaker 7: happy he is that he won't have to share a

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Speaker 7: bed with her during the trip because she's staying with me.

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Speaker 7: Then jules mom says that when we get ready to

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Speaker 7: get on the boat, she'll give me Jewels stuff for

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Speaker 7: our room. I said that Jewles wasn't staying with me.

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Speaker 7: Then the cousin who started it all chimes in with

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Speaker 7: why not Jules doesn't want to be with her parents.

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Speaker 7: Find to them that I'm splitting the cost of the

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Speaker 7: suite with a friend. I was accused of excluding her

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Speaker 7: on purpose. I was told that I was selfish and

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Speaker 7: I should have asked to room with Jewels instead of friends.

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Speaker 1: I said that they knew my plans from the beginning.

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Speaker 7: My grandma told me that if I couldn't look after

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Speaker 7: my cousin and make sure that she has a good time,

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Speaker 7: then I shouldn't come. I was shocked because this was

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Speaker 7: never the plan. There was no way I could ask

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Speaker 7: my friends to back out. My aunt says, well, then

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Speaker 7: I guess there's no choice.

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Speaker 1: Jules is gonna.

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Speaker 7: Stay with you, and you can ask your friend to

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Speaker 7: sleep in the other room. Jules is not gonna miss

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Speaker 7: being on a girl's trip with people her age because

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Speaker 7: you couldn't put your family first.

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Speaker 1: At this point, I was seeing red.

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Speaker 7: I called Jewels into the room and told her and

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Speaker 7: all of them, I'm sorry, but you can't stay in

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Speaker 7: my room. My friend paid her money and I already

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Speaker 7: made plans we can hang when we both have time,

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Speaker 7: but you can't stay in my room. She starts crying

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Speaker 7: and leaves, and then my grandma asks me to leave.

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Speaker 7: It's been a week and the family group text is quiet.

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00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,800
Speaker 7: I've been getting text telling me I was wrong. Am

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Speaker 7: I the a hole for not letting her stay?

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Speaker 8: We already know who they is. There an update.

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Speaker 7: There is an update oo, and it is pretty juicy.

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Speaker 8: It just feels like you got a load of crap

330
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Speaker 8: dumped on your better truck and now you have to

331
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Speaker 8: deal with it, and you did, and you scooped it

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Speaker 8: off on the person's property and now they're pissed.

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Speaker 7: That's how I interpreted that with my southern brain. It

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00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,000
Speaker 7: really is true that you're right. Older cousin has no

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00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,120
Speaker 7: tact none, and you could be.

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Speaker 8: The angel here say hey, I don't want you to

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Speaker 8: stay in my room, but let's play in a little

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Speaker 8: girl's night. Let's do something together that night. I think

339
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,880
Speaker 8: just getting her excited about that and giving her a relief,

340
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Speaker 8: because I feel like Jules is really afraid that she's

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Speaker 8: gonna be like bald and chained to her parents. Giving

342
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,760
Speaker 8: her a little bit of relief of you'll be with me,

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Speaker 8: that would be the angel move.

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Speaker 7: I just feel like it would make more sense on

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Speaker 7: a different trip. This is a separate trip, like if

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Speaker 7: Jules wants to go on a cruise, Like, it's just

347
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 7: not this time. This they all went to school together,

348
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:04,320
Speaker 7: they're all like post grad, they're all celebrated. It's like

349
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:08,120
Speaker 7: a celebratory thing for entering the workforce and stuff, and

350
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,320
Speaker 7: it's like, it's just not not the right time, and

351
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Speaker 7: older cousin needs to go to jail for an hour

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Speaker 7: and a half for it.

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Speaker 1: All right, So let's get into the update.

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Speaker 7: So for anyone who is still interested, I just wanted

355
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Speaker 7: to share that I've been back from the cruise for

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Speaker 7: a couple of weeks and I want to let you

357
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Speaker 7: know how it went.

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Speaker 1: Here's the verdict.

359
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,000
Speaker 7: I had so much fun with my friends, but my

360
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:32,280
Speaker 7: family iced me out. My aunt, my busybody, cousin, Jewels,

361
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:35,640
Speaker 7: my grandma, and the other female relatives were all very

362
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,520
Speaker 7: cold to me. They weren't mean, but they acted very

363
00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:41,120
Speaker 7: dismissive and like they didn't care that I was around.

364
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,200
Speaker 7: I told my friends I was going to spend one

365
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:45,840
Speaker 7: dinner with my family and have drinks or whatever. I

366
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,040
Speaker 7: text my family ahead of time and let them know.

367
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Speaker 7: My cousin said, okay, but that they weren't doing the

368
00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,880
Speaker 7: main dining room and they were gonna get burgers and fries,

369
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,120
Speaker 7: and then they were getting drinks and watching a show.

370
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Speaker 7: So I head over to where she said they would be,

371
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Speaker 7: and they were nowhere to be found. I text my

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00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:02,680
Speaker 7: cousin and she doesn't respond. I waited about ten minutes

373
00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:06,360
Speaker 7: in the casino before leaving. My friends were doing Maine dining,

374
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,480
Speaker 7: so I ended up joining them. And who did I

375
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:12,200
Speaker 7: see in the main dining my family. I walked over

376
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Speaker 7: to the table, and my cousin acted like she completely

377
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 7: forgot to tell me they changed their mind and that

378
00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 7: now she didn't have a signal. My grandma asked if

379
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,600
Speaker 7: I was still with those people, oh my gosh, and

380
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,880
Speaker 7: I said yes, but I had hoped to be with

381
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:28,040
Speaker 7: all of them for the night. I just told them

382
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,440
Speaker 7: to have a good evening and walked away. I heard

383
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,440
Speaker 7: them snickering as I was walking away. Wow, really, dude,

384
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:35,840
Speaker 7: So not only they tried to pile on you for

385
00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:38,960
Speaker 7: being like a bad cousin for not letting jewels stay

386
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,080
Speaker 7: like in your room and you kind of be responsible

387
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 7: for now, they're like excluding you for having friends essentially,

388
00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,360
Speaker 7: even though you explicitly were trying to, like, I want

389
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Speaker 7: to spend tonight with all of you.

390
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,560
Speaker 8: Since does everyone to ten hours of jail per family

391
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,400
Speaker 8: member and the oldest cousin has to say like a

392
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:57,240
Speaker 8: large portion.

393
00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:58,600
Speaker 7: Of them, and they do have a jail on these

394
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 7: cruise ships. They have a brig toss them in the brig.

395
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Speaker 7: Brig timed ten hours in the brig that I'll say

396
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,880
Speaker 7: you straight, and I was embarrassed. I didn't reach out

397
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 7: for the rest of the trip. I'm grown, but I

398
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:12,560
Speaker 7: won't lie. My feelings are hurt. I really did have

399
00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,720
Speaker 7: a great time with my friends. But I have never

400
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:18,720
Speaker 7: been estranged from my family, so this isn't a good feeling.

401
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,440
Speaker 7: What's never really a good feeling to be estranged from

402
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,600
Speaker 7: your family? No, it's not not what I would say

403
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,600
Speaker 7: in the positive emotional spectrum. I called my mom when

404
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,360
Speaker 7: I got back, and she told me not to worry

405
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,399
Speaker 7: about it, and that it's just gonna pass. I'm not

406
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,480
Speaker 7: doing Christmas with them. One of my cousins called me

407
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,400
Speaker 7: after the trip to ask me something random and acted

408
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,520
Speaker 7: like nothing happened. That's how I would approach it. I

409
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,920
Speaker 7: would just try to move forward, you know. But she's

410
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 7: not invited to Christmas after this.

411
00:17:43,560 --> 00:17:46,040
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's not invited to Christmas.

412
00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:50,119
Speaker 7: I think she's saying that she's like voluntarily removing herself

413
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,600
Speaker 7: from Christmas because of how weird the vibes were on

414
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:53,200
Speaker 7: the cruise.

415
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,520
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry ope, which I don't know if I

416
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 1: would do that.

417
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,440
Speaker 7: I feel like you're just gonna end up making more problems,

418
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,800
Speaker 7: even if it's it's like warranted and it's not even

419
00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,840
Speaker 7: coming from a weird place or like a it's just

420
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,200
Speaker 7: gonna cause more problems for sure, as if she didn't

421
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,679
Speaker 7: just treat me like a total stranger. I went to

422
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,200
Speaker 7: my grandma's house this past Sunday and they all acted

423
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,119
Speaker 7: like nothing happened. My busy body cousin says to me

424
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,000
Speaker 7: that I was acting funny on the cruise. Yo. That's

425
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,480
Speaker 7: the cousin that deserves jail time. The cousin who caused

426
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,560
Speaker 7: all of this problem. The cousin who started the problem

427
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,480
Speaker 7: is being like, Yeah, why were you acting so weird

428
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,040
Speaker 7: on the cruise.

429
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,600
Speaker 8: I know their Twitter handle. It is troll one two

430
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,640
Speaker 8: three Reddit. That's them. This is who this person is.

431
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,760
Speaker 7: I merely snapped. My grandma chimed in that I think

432
00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,960
Speaker 7: because I have my own place, my little master's degree,

433
00:18:43,359 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 7: and don't have any kids, that I'm something.

434
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,359
Speaker 8: Wow, they're just jealous. You're successful, that you have a

435
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,040
Speaker 8: job and you don't have to rely on your family.

436
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,600
Speaker 7: So yeah, and let that be a lesson folks. Sometimes,

437
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:58,119
Speaker 7: no matter how good you are, your family is still gonna.

438
00:18:57,880 --> 00:18:58,560
Speaker 1: Drag you for it.

439
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,399
Speaker 8: There's still gonna be some crabs the boocket.

440
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,479
Speaker 1: If people want to drag you, they'll figure out how

441
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:03,359
Speaker 1: to do it. Y'all.

442
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:07,240
Speaker 7: It's like the universe just threw up. I don't know

443
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,440
Speaker 7: what's going on. I went in the bathroom and I

444
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:10,760
Speaker 7: called my mom and she told me.

445
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:11,400
Speaker 4: To just leave.

446
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,440
Speaker 1: So I did. Good advice from mom.

447
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 7: By the way, you don't ever have to leave us

448
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 7: when we go live on YouTube every weekday at three PMPST.

449
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,360
Speaker 7: Just tap our profile and there is a little bit

450
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,520
Speaker 7: more here. But I mean, where are we at?

451
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:26,640
Speaker 8: Do your gut says, if it's being weird, let's will

452
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:30,240
Speaker 8: step away. And I would so verbally punch your older

453
00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,640
Speaker 8: cousin in the face, verbally with some nice lingo, tell

454
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,200
Speaker 8: them how they have created this.

455
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,680
Speaker 7: Some of that master's degree lingo. You might want to

456
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,679
Speaker 7: throw it back at the busybody cousin.

457
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:46,919
Speaker 8: Send them this reddit post, this podcast and also screenshots

458
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,080
Speaker 8: of all the relevant comments from that reddit post.

459
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,120
Speaker 1: Send it right over.

460
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,080
Speaker 8: Yeah, verbally punch them, knock them down.

461
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 7: I would probably just enjoy that little master's degree that

462
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 7: you've got. Use that to have a very successful career.

463
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,120
Speaker 7: Go low contact with most of these people who are

464
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 7: like just a negative force in your existence. And I

465
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,680
Speaker 7: think make it clear to Jewels especially that like, this

466
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 7: is not Jules's fault. It was the older cousin and

467
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 7: how everyone reacted. It's everything surrounding the situation. So now

468
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:18,880
Speaker 7: my grandma says I'm disrespectful for leaving her house and

469
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,320
Speaker 7: not saying goodbye. She told my mom that I'm not

470
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,399
Speaker 7: the same person anymore, and that she needs to do

471
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,560
Speaker 7: something about my attitude. I hate to say it, but

472
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:29,359
Speaker 7: my grandma is sowing these seeds. She's very upset that

473
00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,440
Speaker 7: I didn't kick out my friend who paid and hang

474
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,680
Speaker 7: out with Jewels instead. Jewles doesn't even care. She had

475
00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,159
Speaker 7: her own fun. So it is what it is. I

476
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 7: guess this drama will pass. I'm just gonna keep my

477
00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,119
Speaker 7: distance and live my best life. I don't know what

478
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 7: else to do. So Jewles is okay, Jules is.

479
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,760
Speaker 1: Fine with it. I think that's the right move. Ope,

480
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:48,800
Speaker 1: you just give him some.

481
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:52,400
Speaker 7: Distance, mountain out of a mole hill. Just keep your distance.

482
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:56,199
Speaker 7: People will move on. Maybe Grandma won't, but you know what,

483
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,200
Speaker 7: just let her have her little grudge. That'll just be hers,

484
00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,000
Speaker 7: and move on with your life. These people, I mean,

485
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,360
Speaker 7: the disrespect from the grandma to say little master's degree.

486
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 8: You know what. This reminds me of Lord of the Rings,

487
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,879
Speaker 8: where that one king is like ill and stuff and

488
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 8: he has that one person springs bad things. That is

489
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,840
Speaker 8: the cousin is the and the grandma is a king.

490
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,880
Speaker 7: I told my wife my life would be better without her,

491
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,359
Speaker 7: and now she wants to take everything from me.

492
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,000
Speaker 4: Probably shouldn't have said that my wife.

493
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 7: Anne and I have been married for thirteen years. I'm

494
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 7: forty three and she is forty six.

495
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:34,520
Speaker 1: We do not have children.

496
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,240
Speaker 7: When we first began dating, nobody could make me happy

497
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,840
Speaker 7: like Anne. She always seemed to know exactly the right

498
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,520
Speaker 7: thing to say to me when I was down. But

499
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 7: over the past decade or so, so most of your relationships,

500
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,639
Speaker 7: she has really started to show her true colors, and

501
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:50,639
Speaker 7: a lot of what her ex husband said to me

502
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 7: about her has begun to make more sense.

503
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 4: Hey, why were you talking to her ex husband?

504
00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: WHOA These stories are gonna make me lose my mind today.

505
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 4: Why were you dishing about your wife with her ex husband.

506
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:03,720
Speaker 1: To get the juicy goss?

507
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 7: He needed the juicy goss on his own wife, apparently

508
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 7: that he didn't know for ten years.

509
00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:12,760
Speaker 4: Imagine you're talking to your partner's ex and they're like, yeah,

510
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,199
Speaker 4: she sucks. She like you know, she was never on

511
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 4: time for anything, and she always bred and you just

512
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:19,600
Speaker 4: let that happen.

513
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 7: Well, I think the whole point is he literally is

514
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,879
Speaker 7: saying like, I don't like my wife, yeah, and then

515
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 7: he's talking to her ex husband and he's like, I

516
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:28,160
Speaker 7: didn't like her either.

517
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 1: That's why I left oh Man.

518
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 7: By the way, This comes from user Informal Animal seven

519
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,000
Speaker 7: eight nine to one on the Best of Redditor Updates

520
00:22:35,040 --> 00:22:37,800
Speaker 7: subret it. For example, I have a very eye stressed job.

521
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 7: People bring me problems and I fix those problems.

522
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:41,399
Speaker 1: Who are you, dude?

523
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,679
Speaker 7: Come on, just say that you're a manager at a

524
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 7: game stop and get over it. But when I get

525
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:49,200
Speaker 7: home nine times out of ten and just has more

526
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:52,119
Speaker 7: problems to throw onto my plate. She doesn't work, so

527
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 7: she's free to do anything she wants to solve said

528
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 7: problems during the day. But lately she has even begun

529
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,920
Speaker 7: making lists of things that she wants me to do

530
00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 7: after I work all day. But my biggest issue with

531
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:05,639
Speaker 7: Anne is that I can't ever really open up to

532
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:08,679
Speaker 7: her about anything. Whenever I talk about something bad that

533
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 7: happened to me, she'll either try to one up me

534
00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 7: or agree with that person who wronged me. And I

535
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 7: honestly I know people who do that. That does suck.

536
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 7: That really sucks. Last Friday, I had a horrible day.

537
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,400
Speaker 7: There was an enormous problem at work that basically all

538
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,040
Speaker 7: fell on my shoulders to solve. When I was crossing

539
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,960
Speaker 7: the street after work, I had a green signal and

540
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 7: a bicycle blew through the red and side clipped me.

541
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 7: That's not good, Yeah, clipped by a dirty bicyclist the bicycle.

542
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,359
Speaker 7: The cyclist yelled expletives at me and then rode away.

543
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,600
Speaker 7: I thought about calling the police because it was technically

544
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 7: a hit and run, but there was probably nothing they

545
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 7: could do. When I got home, desperate, I talked to

546
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:48,640
Speaker 7: Anne about what happened. She listened and then immediately took

547
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 7: the cyclist's side.

548
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,479
Speaker 4: Okay, you know I don't like Anne, though?

549
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 7: Did she and OPI was like, yeah, so we've been

550
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,639
Speaker 7: married for thirteen years, and for the last decade or

551
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,399
Speaker 7: so she's really shown her true colors.

552
00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 1: It's like, did it take ten years? Are you sure?

553
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 7: I reiterated that the cyclist ran through a red light,

554
00:24:07,240 --> 00:24:10,440
Speaker 7: to which she responded that cyclists aren't obligated to stop.

555
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 7: When I told her she was wrong and tried to

556
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 7: put the issue to rest, she began frantically googling laws

557
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 7: the What you.

558
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 4: Do here when your partner says, hey, I just got

559
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 4: hit by a bike? You said, oh my god, are

560
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:22,080
Speaker 4: you okay?

561
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:22,640
Speaker 1: Yeah?

562
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:23,880
Speaker 4: Do you need something?

563
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:26,919
Speaker 1: Well? Did you check the legal codes before you crossed

564
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:27,399
Speaker 1: the street.

565
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:31,679
Speaker 4: If you look at G three, you're not allowed to

566
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:32,000
Speaker 4: be there.

567
00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:35,000
Speaker 1: You are wrong, and the bike ist was right.

568
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 7: She found that in our state. After frantically googling bicycle law,

569
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 7: she found that in our state they can treat lights

570
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 7: like a stop sign. She began triumphantly reading the law

571
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 7: to me loudly, word for word, getting louder when I

572
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,160
Speaker 7: kept trying to tell her that I wasn't interested. At

573
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,679
Speaker 7: the end of her spiel, she gave me this incredibly

574
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 7: arrogant look, as if she was right.

575
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 1: By the way, you're.

576
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 4: Still stop at a stop sign?

577
00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 7: You can't it clipped by a bicycle that stopped at

578
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 7: the red light. I just stared at her for a

579
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,560
Speaker 7: second and said that my life would be better without her. Oh,

580
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,119
Speaker 7: it's just a moment of truth, just to make like, damn,

581
00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,760
Speaker 7: you freaking suck after just like being granted at about

582
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 7: bicycle law while you're still wrong, just being like, still,

583
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,560
Speaker 7: life would rock if I didn't have to come home

584
00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 7: to you every day.

585
00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 4: Damn.

586
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,479
Speaker 7: She got incredibly upset, shrieked at me until her voice

587
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:28,000
Speaker 7: was hoarse, and then packed a bag and left to

588
00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 7: stay with her parents. She has texted me all weekend

589
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 7: demanding an apology, but I haven't responded.

590
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 1: Did I do something unforgivable here?

591
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,000
Speaker 4: I think you just you said your your feelings, and

592
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,400
Speaker 4: I think you need to realize that this relationship isn't

593
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 4: working and you need to leave.

594
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah.

595
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 7: I don't even know if it's about forgiveness. It's just

596
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 7: about like.

597
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: Real Yeah, what you said was real.

598
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,800
Speaker 7: You had a moment of realization where you're like, I

599
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,160
Speaker 7: would like it more if you weren't in my life.

600
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:55,120
Speaker 4: And when you have that realization, take it and act

601
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,160
Speaker 4: on it. Get out of that relationship, I mean, because

602
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 4: it's turning both of you to Stana.

603
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 7: The commenter said, what did her ex say about her?

604
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:06,080
Speaker 7: OHP says he called her a colossal manipulative b so

605
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 7: talking about the ex husband that he was conversing with.

606
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:12,920
Speaker 7: I nearly hit him when he said that to me. Honestly,

607
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,680
Speaker 7: if anyone deserves an apology here, it may be him.

608
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,680
Speaker 1: Funny. Yeah, so I was.

609
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,959
Speaker 4: I was so ready to go to bat for my wife,

610
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,720
Speaker 4: And now I'm thinking maybe he's right. He was right,

611
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:25,080
Speaker 4: Like you go back to him, You're like.

612
00:26:25,080 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 7: He do Yeah, So I think I think Beer, I

613
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:30,680
Speaker 7: think we're all on the same page. Here. I think

614
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 7: there's there's just some top com there's some comments here.

615
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 7: But yeah, I think you gotta get out. I mean,

616
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 7: if you get clipped, if you are first of all,

617
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 7: the only one working, and then when you come home,

618
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,560
Speaker 7: she's like, hey, I have a bunch of stuff for

619
00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:46,640
Speaker 7: you to do. Has nothing to do about him being

620
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 7: a man or her being a woman or anything. It's

621
00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:50,959
Speaker 7: more just like, what are you talking about. I just

622
00:26:51,119 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 7: like I've been working all day and now I gotta

623
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:57,040
Speaker 7: go home and work more. Yeah, it's not even about

624
00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 7: like it's not like she has to do all of it.

625
00:26:59,440 --> 00:26:59,919
Speaker 1: No, it's just.

626
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 4: Like making sure that you have an equal breakup of tasks.

627
00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 1: There's the guy. I feel like it's just a respect there.

628
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,439
Speaker 7: And then like you know, you get clipped by a

629
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 7: bike crossing the street and her response is like, well

630
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,760
Speaker 7: they don't need to stop, so service.

631
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:17,640
Speaker 1: And then after being.

632
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:20,600
Speaker 7: Like I really don't care about this, she's like scream

633
00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,000
Speaker 7: explaining bicycle law to him.

634
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, after he's repeatedly he's like, I just don't. I don't.

635
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 9: I just got hit by a bike. And the last

636
00:27:28,240 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 9: thing I want to hear more is about He's.

637
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 4: Like, regardless of being in the fault or not I

638
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:33,600
Speaker 4: got hit by a bike.

639
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 1: Yeah. What I really want to hear is, are you okay?

640
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,159
Speaker 7: Not a cardia subsection the code code L twenty four

641
00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:42,119
Speaker 7: to nine, sub section B in our state, in our state,

642
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 7: in our state, Fake and Funk says, it sounds like

643
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,880
Speaker 7: the problem solved. Actually, you said what needed to be said,

644
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 7: and she left, done and done. Do you need help

645
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 7: on first steps for contacting a lawyer or something, because

646
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,800
Speaker 7: otherwise it sounds like you got her out of your

647
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,200
Speaker 7: house with minimal effort. Yeah.

648
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: I guess when you look at it like that, Yeah,

649
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 1: you kind of want about it.

650
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,280
Speaker 4: You you did get rid of her.

651
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 7: Yeah, it worked from e there alone. Wait, if the

652
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 7: cyclist is supposed to treat it like a stop sign,

653
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,720
Speaker 7: then shouldn't it stop and yield to oncoming traffic? You

654
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 7: just think, Yeah, so she is wrong in triumphantly claiming victory. Yes, exactly.

655
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 7: Uh oh, there's an update. There's an update.

656
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: Ford was we got a divorce here?

657
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,119
Speaker 4: Yeah, we got a divorce and I sued the biker.

658
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope so. Or maybe him and the biker

659
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: became best friends. Maybe the biker and her.

660
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 7: Update twelve days later, two weeks ago, I had an

661
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:31,120
Speaker 7: argument with my wife An. This argument stemmed from Anne's

662
00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 7: incessant need to contradict me in everything that I say.

663
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,280
Speaker 7: An left in a fit of rage to stay with

664
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,560
Speaker 7: her parents and then kept spamming me with texts demanding

665
00:28:39,560 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 7: an apology. A few days after Ann left, I felt

666
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 7: something I hadn't in a long time at home peace.

667
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 4: Um, you really did not like your wife.

668
00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:49,280
Speaker 1: It did not.

669
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 7: I didn't have someone nagging me about literally everything I did.

670
00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 7: I didn't have to eat my meals in the correct order,

671
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 7: something about pH balance that she probably saw from a

672
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 7: brain rot creator on TikTok Yo. Your wife was making

673
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 7: you eat food in a certain order. Okay, okay. I

674
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 7: didn't have to wash my feet after getting home. And well,

675
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 7: if they stink, you might want to do that again.

676
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 7: I think it just depends on how stinky they are.

677
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 7: I could actually enjoy myself, which is impossible when Anne

678
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 7: is around, because I found many years ago that she

679
00:29:19,400 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 7: tends to get the most aggressive, and I seem like

680
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:24,760
Speaker 7: I'm either in a very good or very bad move.

681
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,680
Speaker 7: I then did something I never thought i'd do. I

682
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:30,000
Speaker 7: reached out to her ex He was more than eager

683
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 7: to talk about Anne and her Shenanigans, so we met

684
00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 7: up for drinks. He and I both had near identical

685
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 7: experiences with her. Anne is through and through a pretty

686
00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 7: horrible person, especially to her romantic partners. He cited a

687
00:29:41,520 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 7: reconcilable differences for divorcing her, where it was no specific

688
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 7: event but just a long list of terrible interactions and

689
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 7: coming to the realization that he detested her as a person.

690
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:53,120
Speaker 7: During this time, Anne went silent on me. I used

691
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,360
Speaker 7: this a lull in our relationship to visit a lawyer

692
00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,080
Speaker 7: who told me that, due to the nature of laws

693
00:29:57,120 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 7: in our state and the fact that Anne is able

694
00:29:59,520 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 7: bodied and educated, the chances of me ever having to

695
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 7: pay alimony are basically zero.

696
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 1: Noise noise.

697
00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 7: I called Anne at that point. She for some reason

698
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 7: still expected an apology, so like I'm She's like, are

699
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 7: you finally ready to say what needs to be said?

700
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 4: You ready to apologize for damaging my bike?

701
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: Are you I'm fit to your ahead?

702
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 7: Are you ready to apologize to me and every cyclist

703
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 7: on Earth?

704
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 1: I told her I wanted a divorce.

705
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 7: She threatened to take everything from me, and I said

706
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 7: she could try, but any further contact should be done

707
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 7: through my lawyer. I'm fully happy to split our assets fairly.

708
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 7: I'm fairly sure that Anne will agree to any deal

709
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 7: that gives her more than half. It's just the way

710
00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 7: she is, and if it's a fifty five to forty

711
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 7: five split, I don't care. All I have to do

712
00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 7: is act like she got the better of me, and

713
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 7: since she's an idiot, she'll happily agree. Thanks to everyone

714
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,120
Speaker 7: who responded in the last post with advice. Tons of

715
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 7: you suggested divorce, which I think was what actually got

716
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:55,800
Speaker 7: me to consider it.

717
00:30:55,960 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: Seriously, nice friends, is the end the voice.

718
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 7: And also being like, yeah, instead of having to pay

719
00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 7: you for the rest of my life, how about I

720
00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 7: just pay you once, right now, right now, and.

721
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 4: I never have to talk to you again.

722
00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:10,959
Speaker 1: You're gonna win it. It means that you win so hard,

723
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:11,680
Speaker 1: just one.

724
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:16,360
Speaker 7: Oh, no, you're winning a go good for op, Good

725
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 7: for OPI, And you know Ann. I think Ann can

726
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 7: go into the sun. Yeah, hey, y'all, it's John og

727
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:24,120
Speaker 7: Host here. We're gonna get back to the story. But

728
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 7: here's a quick three minute break from as for more sponsors.

729
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,680
Speaker 7: My family and I had a huge argument and now

730
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:31,720
Speaker 7: they're trying to kick me out on my birthday.

731
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 8: Happy Birthday.

732
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 7: I eighteen, female was seventeen when this all happened. Just

733
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:38,640
Speaker 7: to be clear, a month or two before my birthday,

734
00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 7: I had been talking about how I was going to

735
00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 7: be eighteen, and I was both scared and excited for

736
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,320
Speaker 7: this new chapter of my life. By the way, this

737
00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 7: comes from user midnight Dreamer twenty eight on the r

738
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,520
Speaker 7: OK story time subreddit. So this may sound like something

739
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 7: a spoiled person would say, but the responses I was

740
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 7: getting wasn't really well, it wasn't really what I wanted

741
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 7: or expected. My mom, in her late forties, for exit sample,

742
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 7: said something along the lines of I've done this before.

743
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 1: What's there to be excited for?

744
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 7: And my dad, who's fifty, was saying, I'm not tripping

745
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,600
Speaker 7: off your birthday. My parents would tell me that I

746
00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 7: only want to do things with my friends and never

747
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,880
Speaker 7: my family. My mom would always say whatever she wanted

748
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 7: to plan, I didn't want to do it.

749
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,880
Speaker 1: They barely showed interest in celebrating it. Please keep this

750
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 1: in mind, foreshadowing is this is very pertinent information.

751
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 7: According to Opie for a little more context, Yes, I

752
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,240
Speaker 7: did want to do things with my friends, but ninety

753
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,920
Speaker 7: percent of them were off to college miles and miles away.

754
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 7: I couldn't do anything with them. I was sad about

755
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 7: it and mentioned it here and there. But I also

756
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 7: mentioned wanting to do more things with my family, asking

757
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 7: what we were going to do, what we could do,

758
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 7: and just continuing to try to be excited for the

759
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 7: day to come.

760
00:32:48,880 --> 00:32:50,720
Speaker 8: But your mom has already done this before, so we

761
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 8: don't have to do it again.

762
00:32:51,880 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 1: Yeah.

763
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 7: I don't know if you know this, but you've already

764
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 7: had a birthday. We only give one birthday in this household.

765
00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 7: So tough, peanuts. So this continued a long and with

766
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 7: anything I said or did being disrespectful or wrong up

767
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 7: until the day of my birthday. My attitude towards my

768
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 7: birthday had completely changed and I was no longer excited

769
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 7: about it.

770
00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 1: My sister thirty eight, actually.

771
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 7: Was trying to do things with me, along with my

772
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:17,080
Speaker 7: cousin who's twenty female. I wanted to sleep over at

773
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 7: my sister's place. We agreed on that. Now time for

774
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 7: the actual part you came here for. This occurred the

775
00:33:23,840 --> 00:33:26,800
Speaker 7: day before my birthday. My sister had called my mom

776
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 7: to ask her what she was going to do for

777
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 7: my birthday, which my mom continued to avoid the question

778
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:35,239
Speaker 7: and get irritated that my sister was even asking her

779
00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 7: about it. Long story short, my mom brought up my

780
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 7: niece's hair not being done, which my sister did not like.

781
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 7: So my sister in turn insulted my mom's hair, and

782
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 7: then my mom hung up on her. Later that day,

783
00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:50,840
Speaker 7: my sister told me what happened. She told me to

784
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 7: ask my mom if I could just come over that

785
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,560
Speaker 7: day instead of her picking me up on my birthday

786
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 7: the next day, so I could just bring it up

787
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 7: with her.

788
00:33:58,400 --> 00:33:59,960
Speaker 1: However, my mom.

789
00:33:59,800 --> 00:34:02,480
Speaker 7: Was still upset with my sister when I went to ask,

790
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 7: and she told me to just leave her alone. My

791
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,240
Speaker 7: dad was on the couch just playing his game. Of course,

792
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,880
Speaker 7: this made me upset. I told my sister what she said,

793
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 7: and she told me she was on the way to

794
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 7: talk to my mom. I told my parents this, but

795
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 7: my mom said she didn't want to talk to her

796
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:20,279
Speaker 7: right now and that she wasn't opening the door for her.

797
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,600
Speaker 7: She was now painting the steps to the third floor.

798
00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:25,440
Speaker 7: I went up to my room and my dad opened

799
00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:26,120
Speaker 7: the door.

800
00:34:25,880 --> 00:34:26,560
Speaker 1: For my sister.

801
00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 7: I heard my sister come in and they were talking,

802
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 7: my sister said that she wanted to get me that

803
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 7: day instead of the next day, and my mom asked

804
00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:36,200
Speaker 7: her why she couldn't just get me on my birthday.

805
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,919
Speaker 7: My sister told her the same reason I said, which

806
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:41,520
Speaker 7: was that she wanted to bring it in with me.

807
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 7: My mom then tried to say that I didn't ask her,

808
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:46,880
Speaker 7: but a few moments later told me to pack my

809
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:49,359
Speaker 7: things to go with my sister. I continue to pack

810
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 7: a bag, trying to hurry because something gave me a

811
00:34:51,760 --> 00:34:54,319
Speaker 7: bad feeling. I could hear my mom making comments to

812
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 7: my sister, which she didn't answer. They were pretty petty

813
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 7: comments too. You know when someone's just picking at you,

814
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 7: but you know what they're saying will upset you. Yeah,

815
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,839
Speaker 7: she was doing that. She then pulled that card from

816
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:08,960
Speaker 7: before again. She brought up one of my nieces and

817
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,799
Speaker 7: my sister responded with something my mom didn't like. When

818
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 7: I was coming down the stairs as this was happening,

819
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 7: my mom said never mind, and that she'd just take

820
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 7: me the next day on my birthday. But at this

821
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:22,320
Speaker 7: point I was upset and decided to get past my mom,

822
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:24,759
Speaker 7: who was still sitting on the steps painting the rail,

823
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:27,439
Speaker 7: and she tried to block me, but I got around her.

824
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:29,840
Speaker 7: She was telling me no, but I was so upset

825
00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 7: that I told her she could kick me out at

826
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,000
Speaker 7: that point, and that I was going anyway because no

827
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 7: one else was gonna do anything with me. I do

828
00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 7: regret saying she could kick me out, but it's important

829
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 7: to know that I did not have paint on me

830
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 7: at this point.

831
00:35:44,480 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 8: Oh no, no, no, no.

832
00:35:46,680 --> 00:35:47,879
Speaker 1: I don't like the sound of that.

833
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 7: I had two small bags of clothes that I set

834
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,319
Speaker 7: down by the stairs by the front door. I then

835
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 7: proceeded to go downstairs to get my PlayStation. My sister

836
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 7: and mom were arguing upstairs, and when my PlayStation was

837
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 7: already unplugged in a trash bag, I don't have any

838
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 7: other bag to put it in, which I guess I'll

839
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 7: let you get away with that for now. My mom

840
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 7: came downstairs a wet paint brush in her hand, telling

841
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,360
Speaker 7: me not to take it. When she saw it already

842
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,600
Speaker 7: in my hands in the bag, she tried to grab it,

843
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 7: but I stepped back. She then successfully tried again and

844
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 7: was trying to take it.

845
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,120
Speaker 1: I saw her reach her hand back like she was

846
00:36:22,160 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 1: going to.

847
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,120
Speaker 7: Punch me, so I screamed don't hit me as I

848
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 7: snatched the PlayStation back, and my sister then came running

849
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,839
Speaker 7: down the stairs, telling her not to touch me and

850
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 7: got between me and my mom. My dad came downstairs

851
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 7: behind her, getting between my sister and my mom.

852
00:36:37,320 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 1: This is horrible.

853
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:40,400
Speaker 8: She was sniffing too much paint here.

854
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:43,720
Speaker 7: Yeah, maybe she'd been painting in a non ventilated area.

855
00:36:43,920 --> 00:36:46,280
Speaker 7: She's getting lead poisoning.

856
00:36:45,600 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 1: Through the air. That's crazy. I ran upstairs.

857
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:50,879
Speaker 7: My sister was still downstairs, and I could only hear

858
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,520
Speaker 7: my mom and sisters screaming at each other. It wasn't

859
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:56,240
Speaker 7: really clear enough for me to hear. I was yelling

860
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 7: for my sister to just come on so we could leave,

861
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 7: but ended up going to the car where my cousin was.

862
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,919
Speaker 7: My mom came upstairs as I ran out and yelled out,

863
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:07,680
Speaker 7: you're really gonna take the PlayStation and I didn't answer.

864
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 7: My sister came out shortly after, and in short my

865
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 7: mom turned off my line so I couldn't use internet,

866
00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,880
Speaker 7: but I could text people, but I couldn't receive or

867
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 7: get calls unless I was on Wi Fi. I stayed

868
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,560
Speaker 7: with my sister and the next day, on my birthday,

869
00:37:21,800 --> 00:37:23,520
Speaker 7: she did my hair, and we went out to eat

870
00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 7: with my cousin and her boyfriend.

871
00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 1: My birthday didn't feel good.

872
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 7: I felt sad and depressed for the majority of it.

873
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,560
Speaker 7: I ate one slice of my ice cream cake and

874
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:34,240
Speaker 7: we didn't do much else. Next day, during the evening,

875
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 7: I went home. It was around five pm, and I

876
00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 7: tried using my keys to unlock the door, but the

877
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,600
Speaker 7: locks had been changed. I could hear my mom and

878
00:37:42,719 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 7: dad inside, and no one unlocked the door or even

879
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 7: looked my way.

880
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:49,040
Speaker 1: Wow.

881
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 7: I went back to my sister's car and told her,

882
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:54,479
Speaker 7: and she advised that we call the police. She said,

883
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 7: my mom can't lock me out without giving me a

884
00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:58,839
Speaker 7: thirty day notice since I lived there and I get

885
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,600
Speaker 7: mailed there. So my sister did that, and the whole

886
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,800
Speaker 7: time I was violently shaking, and I started to have regrets.

887
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,680
Speaker 7: I've never acted out like that before, and I started

888
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 7: to doubt even justifying it. The police did come and

889
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 7: in short told my mom that she couldn't lock me

890
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:16,239
Speaker 7: out without giving me the thirty day notice. But they

891
00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:18,759
Speaker 7: also gave me the talk of being eighteen and having

892
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 7: new responsibilities, and that if a dispute happens again, they

893
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,960
Speaker 7: would have to come back. I went inside after debating it,

894
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 7: and I tried to talk to my mom, but she

895
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,640
Speaker 7: was on the phone and crying, and my dad was cooking.

896
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:31,759
Speaker 7: She didn't want to talk to me and told the

897
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 7: person on the phone that, Wow, and the.

898
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 8: Dad can't stop cooking for a second to talk to you.

899
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:41,279
Speaker 7: Dad's completely like checked out, and Mom is like venomous,

900
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:45,760
Speaker 7: like ruthless, actually a malicious force in Op's life.

901
00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,879
Speaker 1: That sorry. Ope.

902
00:38:48,239 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 7: When I went up to my room, everything from my

903
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:54,040
Speaker 7: closet was in a big black trash bag. The next day,

904
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 7: my dad yelled at me about what I did and

905
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 7: told me that it was wrong, and he told me

906
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:02,120
Speaker 7: not to touch anything I did I didn't buy, including food.

907
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,520
Speaker 1: Wow, get out of there as fast as you can.

908
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 8: Welcome to eighteen.

909
00:39:06,880 --> 00:39:08,879
Speaker 1: I'm sure this was happening before eighteen too.

910
00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 7: They just legally couldn't neglect you to the point where

911
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,600
Speaker 7: it would be criminal. Now the day that you turn eighteen,

912
00:39:14,640 --> 00:39:16,600
Speaker 7: they're like, yep, nothing's free anymore.

913
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 1: Wow.

914
00:39:17,719 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 7: Ever since then, my friends have been helping me get

915
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,719
Speaker 7: food and groceries. My birthday was the end of September

916
00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 7: a month ago, and things have cleared up a bit,

917
00:39:25,239 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 7: but I still don't touch their food. My mom lets

918
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 7: me have waters and treated me to food today because

919
00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:32,800
Speaker 7: it was my first time voting.

920
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:33,919
Speaker 1: But that's it.

921
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,800
Speaker 7: They're making more of an event out of you voting

922
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:38,640
Speaker 7: than your eighteenth birthday.

923
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 8: That once every four years, so that's pretty cool, and

924
00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:45,600
Speaker 8: mil once every four years. You could count on that.

925
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:47,279
Speaker 8: You can't count on your birthday, but you count on

926
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:47,720
Speaker 8: the election.

927
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,360
Speaker 7: I guess they're just really into civic duty. Opie's parents

928
00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 7: are just red blooded Americans.

929
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 8: Maybe you should volunteer a little bit now that.

930
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,560
Speaker 7: You're a voting age. We want you to understand what's

931
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,640
Speaker 7: really important. And it's not your birthday to vote.

932
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:01,839
Speaker 1: And that's it.

933
00:40:02,160 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 7: She turned my line back on so I can receive

934
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 7: calls from jobs that I've been applying for. My dad

935
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 7: thinks she should kick me out because I'm playing with

936
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,280
Speaker 7: her because my friends deliver me food and I'm.

937
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:16,440
Speaker 1: Not learning a lesson. Your dad just wants you to starve.

938
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:18,720
Speaker 1: What is wrong with these people?

939
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,440
Speaker 7: And you know another thing that's wild is that you

940
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:25,359
Speaker 7: can join us every weekday live on YouTube at three

941
00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 7: pm PST. Just tap our profile and there is a

942
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,359
Speaker 7: little bit left here, but let's talk.

943
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,480
Speaker 8: This is ridiculous. I hate that you're in this position,

944
00:40:33,520 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 8: and I hope that things line up that you can

945
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:37,320
Speaker 8: find a way out.

946
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 7: Depending on where you're at, what states that you're in,

947
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,719
Speaker 7: Like you can try to find like rent assistance if

948
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,359
Speaker 7: you're not making enough income or like, you know, there's

949
00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:47,800
Speaker 7: all kinds of programs out there to try to help

950
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:51,560
Speaker 7: people gain autonomy and like stability, even if like their

951
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,719
Speaker 7: finances or their like living situation. I would definitely look

952
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:56,960
Speaker 7: into that, and I would definitely get away from your

953
00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:01,799
Speaker 7: parents as soon as humanly possible, Like, these people do

954
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,479
Speaker 7: not sound like they deserve to have you in their life,

955
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:06,960
Speaker 7: and I would fully support I usually don't say this,

956
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 7: but I would fully support going no contact with these

957
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,960
Speaker 7: people because they've made it clear that now that you're

958
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 7: an adult, they don't even view you as their child.

959
00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 7: They certainly don't sound like they care about you in

960
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:18,760
Speaker 7: a way that would make sense.

961
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 1: Crazy genuinely, I feel so bad for you, Opie.

962
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:24,840
Speaker 7: I wish we could have helped you celebrate your birthday,

963
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:28,240
Speaker 7: happy late birthday, wherever you may be. I do regret

964
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 7: saying that she could kick me out. I feel bad

965
00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 7: for the whole thing, and I have gotten mixed feedback

966
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:35,880
Speaker 7: about it. I think I only took my PlayStation because

967
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,840
Speaker 7: I felt like when I left it would be gone

968
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,959
Speaker 7: or broken. Before all of this happened, it was still

969
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:45,480
Speaker 7: tense with our household and constant pressure after graduating. I

970
00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 7: really think it was built up emotion and frustration from

971
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,080
Speaker 7: things before my birthday.

972
00:41:50,400 --> 00:41:52,279
Speaker 1: But I don't know. Am I the a hole?

973
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 7: No?

974
00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:53,440
Speaker 1: Absolutely not.

975
00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 7: There might be some context, like you said before this,

976
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:58,919
Speaker 7: that could lend us something, But it doesn't seem like.

977
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:01,000
Speaker 8: Your parents won't you out of the house to think

978
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 8: that you're a low down You don't really have a

979
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:05,720
Speaker 8: job yet. It seems like you just got out of school. Yeah,

980
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 8: I'd get out of there, girl.

981
00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 7: Your parents are highly unsupportive and saying that you suspect

982
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:15,239
Speaker 7: the PlayStation you would be lost or damaged or destroyed

983
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 7: if you left it for a day. Those are toxic

984
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 7: people that you're living with. Get out of there, get

985
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:22,080
Speaker 7: a job, and get out of there as fast as

986
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 7: you can.

987
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 4: My husband won't stop lying to me now. I think

988
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 4: he's cheating and this is a direct Okay storytime submissions

989
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 4: one of you guys, Oh wow, okay, forgive me. This

990
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 4: is my first time making a post like this, and

991
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:36,320
Speaker 4: I'm feeling a little bit like a jumbled mess and

992
00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 4: style inside. A little backstory. Three months ago, I, twenty

993
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 4: eight female, gave birth to my second baby boy with

994
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 4: my husband, twenty eight male. Before I got pregnant, we

995
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 4: decided to quit vaping because it's one very bad for you,

996
00:42:48,680 --> 00:42:52,399
Speaker 4: and to an expensive habit we couldn't afford at that time.

997
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:55,959
Speaker 4: Our financial situation has improved, but sometimes we were coming

998
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 4: up short and he had to ask his mom for

999
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 4: a loan that was immediately paid off. He decided before

1000
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 4: having kids that I would stay home to take care

1001
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,920
Speaker 4: of them, as daycare is so expensive, I'd basically be

1002
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 4: working just for someone else to watch my kids, and

1003
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,879
Speaker 4: we both believe it's important to have a parent home

1004
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 4: who can dedicate themselves to taking them to extracurriculars, et cetera.

1005
00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Ted's Mama on the

1006
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:20,320
Speaker 4: arsas shokey storytime Separate. My husband is the general manager

1007
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 4: of a fast food restaurant and makes decent money, but

1008
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 4: we are definitely living paycheck to paycheck. He works sometimes

1009
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 4: seventy hours a week even though he's salary for fifty

1010
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 4: and that causes a lot of stress for both of us,

1011
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 4: him because he's gone so often and me because I'm

1012
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 4: pretty much a solo parent as he's too tired to

1013
00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,960
Speaker 4: do much at all when he gets home. Understandably, Now

1014
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 4: to the story. Dear husband has a backpack that he

1015
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,640
Speaker 4: takes to and from work with him every day. I

1016
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 4: noticed several times that he would take this back with

1017
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 4: him for his forty five plus minute restroom sessions.

1018
00:43:53,440 --> 00:43:57,760
Speaker 7: Maybe he just has his tools hour his bathroom tools okay,

1019
00:43:57,760 --> 00:43:58,880
Speaker 7: that he needs.

1020
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,000
Speaker 4: Which I thought was odd. So one day I asked

1021
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:04,240
Speaker 4: him why he did so. I just do was his response, again,

1022
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 4: A really weird answer. And we've been together nearly ten

1023
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,880
Speaker 4: years now. Oh boy, so I know his behavior really well.

1024
00:44:11,000 --> 00:44:14,200
Speaker 4: I decide to drop it for the evening, or perhaps

1025
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,439
Speaker 4: got busy with the kids, I don't remember. He kept

1026
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 4: taking it with him, so I asked again and he

1027
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 4: responded that he just does. He takes it into restroom

1028
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:24,720
Speaker 4: at work too. That didn't really answer my question.

1029
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 7: As my comfort backpack, I need this pack. Hold on

1030
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:31,279
Speaker 7: to it, okay, time I squeeze it, and then it.

1031
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:34,400
Speaker 1: Helps me believe through Buddy, my emotional support bag.

1032
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:36,640
Speaker 4: I told him I felt like he was lying to me.

1033
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:40,120
Speaker 4: I'm choosing to trust him, but I stressed how important

1034
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 4: the truth is to me, and that if he has

1035
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,839
Speaker 4: anything to tell me, he should really think about telling

1036
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:47,400
Speaker 4: me the truth. Around this time, he was accused of

1037
00:44:47,520 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 4: sleeping with his female assistant manager, who I know a

1038
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,919
Speaker 4: little bit, and she had recently come to hang out

1039
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 4: at our house. I really don't believe this was at

1040
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 4: all true for a multitude of reasons, and isn't part

1041
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 4: of the story really, except while I confronting dear husband,

1042
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 4: I reminded him of the rumor and stressed that, especially now,

1043
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 4: it's extremely important that we are open and honest with

1044
00:45:08,719 --> 00:45:11,239
Speaker 4: each other about everything. He had to go into work,

1045
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 4: so that is where the conversation ended for the night.

1046
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,760
Speaker 4: The next few days were rough. He was still being sketchy,

1047
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,480
Speaker 4: and we seemed to be at odds with each other

1048
00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,839
Speaker 4: a lot. One day he took a nap, and later

1049
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:23,160
Speaker 4: that night we were still not doing great, but he

1050
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:25,799
Speaker 4: helped put our oldest sleep. While he was doing that,

1051
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 4: I was cleaning our room and noticed his bag right

1052
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 4: next to the bed. Oh boy, somewhere he never leaves it.

1053
00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,399
Speaker 4: We are generally open with each other's devices, possessions, et cetera,

1054
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 4: and we actually agreed a long time ago that we

1055
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 4: have full access to each other's belongings, even though we rarely,

1056
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 4: if ever, have snooped on the other. Well, with his

1057
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,400
Speaker 4: behavior and the fact I confronted him and he was

1058
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:52,040
Speaker 4: still lying, I decided to check his bag. I didn't

1059
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:57,760
Speaker 4: look everywhere, just stuck my hand in and felt a vape. Oh,

1060
00:45:58,480 --> 00:46:01,280
Speaker 4: such a stupid little thing to be lying about. Trust

1061
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 4: is the foundation of any relationship, hence the open book policy,

1062
00:46:04,719 --> 00:46:06,920
Speaker 4: and he was lying to my face about such a

1063
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:09,759
Speaker 4: stupid thing, even though I practically begged him to just

1064
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 4: tell me what was going on. I can't really describe

1065
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 4: how exactly I felt. Furious, heartbroken, betrayed. I gave him

1066
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 4: so many chances and he still lied about something that,

1067
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 4: in the grand scheme of things, doesn't matter, but oh

1068
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 4: the damage that can do. I stopped looking at his bag,

1069
00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 4: figuring I had found all that he was hiding, put

1070
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 4: it back and went to go help him with our

1071
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,600
Speaker 4: three year old, who was having a meltdown. He has ASD,

1072
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:35,319
Speaker 4: so they can be very intense. It's been a while now,

1073
00:46:35,440 --> 00:46:37,879
Speaker 4: so I don't remember exactly how it started, but we

1074
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:40,919
Speaker 4: were taking jabs at each other again, and I said,

1075
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,000
Speaker 4: you want to tell me what you've been lying about?

1076
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:46,040
Speaker 4: He froze ed in the fridge getting a refo of

1077
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 4: milk for a son. What am I lying about? Was

1078
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 4: all I got in response. In hindsight, it felt like

1079
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:53,000
Speaker 4: he was fishing for what I knew. But I told

1080
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 4: him that I found the vape. And I took the

1081
00:46:55,400 --> 00:46:57,360
Speaker 4: milk from him and closed the door to our son's

1082
00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:00,680
Speaker 4: room and finished putting him to bed. Day go by,

1083
00:47:00,800 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 4: and I'm not giving him the silent treatment. I'm still

1084
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 4: talking with him about our boys, scheduling, et cetera, but

1085
00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 4: nothing more. You would try to talk about video games

1086
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:11,560
Speaker 4: or whatever bs and I just respond okay. Days go

1087
00:47:11,680 --> 00:47:15,360
Speaker 4: by and no apologies, no acknowledgment. One night, after the

1088
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 4: boys are sleeping, I'm in the living room watching TV

1089
00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 4: and he sits in the recliner next to me. He

1090
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 4: said to him, you realize we aren't okay?

1091
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:22,319
Speaker 7: Right?

1092
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 4: You still haven't apologized? He said, You're right. I am sorry.

1093
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 4: I didn't know how or didn't want to bring it

1094
00:47:27,440 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 4: up again. I told him he could have just said sorry.

1095
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:32,080
Speaker 7: She's like, you realize we're not okay? Right, he's like

1096
00:47:32,320 --> 00:47:32,799
Speaker 7: I do now.

1097
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:35,400
Speaker 4: I reiterated how important the truth is to me, that

1098
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,960
Speaker 4: it's the foundation of a relationship, and how could he

1099
00:47:38,080 --> 00:47:40,560
Speaker 4: lie and hide something so stupid? How am I supposed

1100
00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 4: to trust him with big stuff like the work accusation. Again,

1101
00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 4: of course, I was crying because I was still so

1102
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,520
Speaker 4: hurt and mad. He told me he had been scared

1103
00:47:47,520 --> 00:47:49,520
Speaker 4: to tell me that he didn't know how I'd react,

1104
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 4: but he was so stressed about work and everything that

1105
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:53,960
Speaker 4: he needed it. I told him I would say it's

1106
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 4: a bad idea, we can't afford the habit, and that

1107
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:58,399
Speaker 4: it's weak to give up like that. He had done

1108
00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:01,319
Speaker 4: this exact same thing after the birth of our first kid,

1109
00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:03,480
Speaker 4: but it fell out of his pocket while he was sleeping,

1110
00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:05,839
Speaker 4: and that's how I found out The first time. We

1111
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:08,560
Speaker 4: had the same talk about trust and how I'd rather

1112
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:11,319
Speaker 4: tell me the truth than lie about it. Honestly, I'd

1113
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:14,000
Speaker 4: rather he cheat and tell me about it than lie

1114
00:48:14,040 --> 00:48:17,400
Speaker 4: to me anyway. Weeks past, I finally got access to

1115
00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:19,879
Speaker 4: his bank account. He had access to mine, but as

1116
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,920
Speaker 4: he was the only one working, all the money went

1117
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:23,480
Speaker 4: to him, and I had to ask for money for

1118
00:48:23,520 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 4: groceries et cetera. I was trying to run a household

1119
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:29,840
Speaker 4: with zero financial info and spending almost nothing on myself.

1120
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:31,919
Speaker 4: I started working on a budget, so I was going

1121
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 4: through our expenses to find out what we were spending

1122
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:37,600
Speaker 4: on and found out he was spending nearly four hundred

1123
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:41,520
Speaker 4: dollars a month at the gas station on energy drinks

1124
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 4: and bathing.

1125
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:45,080
Speaker 7: The caffeine and nicotine are the two things that will

1126
00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:49,040
Speaker 7: I've make people go crazy crazy.

1127
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,399
Speaker 4: Whatever. I brought it to his attention, and I think

1128
00:48:52,400 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 4: he finally understood that he can't keep buying energy drinks

1129
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,520
Speaker 4: at the gas station. He needed to get them at

1130
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 4: a grocery store or order them online. It's so much cheaper.

1131
00:49:01,440 --> 00:49:04,200
Speaker 4: He's like, you can buy them, but please just do

1132
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 4: it smartly. Over the next few weeks things seemed to

1133
00:49:07,080 --> 00:49:09,680
Speaker 4: be better. We went on a date, he was home more,

1134
00:49:09,760 --> 00:49:12,439
Speaker 4: et cetera. I thought it was all behind us. Well

1135
00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 4: an hour ago he left to go help them put

1136
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:16,760
Speaker 4: the truck away, and I was straightening up the bedroom

1137
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,680
Speaker 4: before going to sleep. I came across his backpack. He

1138
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:23,080
Speaker 4: left it here, which never happens, which was weird. This

1139
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,720
Speaker 4: man's leaving his all of his stuff around. I hated,

1140
00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 4: but the trust isn't fully back, even if we were

1141
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 4: doing well the last week or so. So I opened

1142
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:34,280
Speaker 4: up the bag and actually looked this time. Almost everything

1143
00:49:34,280 --> 00:49:38,600
Speaker 4: in there was normal, except for three prescription pill bottles.

1144
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 4: One was an antibiotic for an injury he got that

1145
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:44,200
Speaker 4: became infected. He never finished the pills, so that's wonderful.

1146
00:49:45,040 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 4: One was a pain med given to Jim at the

1147
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:51,239
Speaker 4: same time, but the third had half the label torn off,

1148
00:49:51,280 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 4: you know, the part with the name on it, but

1149
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:55,680
Speaker 4: the drug name was still there, and it's a generic

1150
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:59,239
Speaker 4: form of zoloft. He's been depressed before and tried meds

1151
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:01,959
Speaker 4: for it, but they did help, and that was years ago.

1152
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 4: He doesn't have insurance and hasn't seen a doctor, so

1153
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 4: I know they aren't his. Just like with the vaping,

1154
00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:09,839
Speaker 4: I don't really care at the end of the day

1155
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:12,440
Speaker 4: what he was lying about or hiding, Especially if he

1156
00:50:12,480 --> 00:50:15,479
Speaker 4: feels he needs depression meds, I think he should take them,

1157
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,080
Speaker 4: but buying them off of someone else or taking them

1158
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 4: illegally is not okay. Also, I don't understand why he

1159
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 4: won't tell me about any of this. I don't know

1160
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:27,479
Speaker 4: why he feels compelled to sneak, hide and lie. Does

1161
00:50:27,520 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 4: he feel like he needs to stay strong for me

1162
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:32,920
Speaker 4: or something? He constantly jokes that he's built different when

1163
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:35,239
Speaker 4: life is hard and that he will muscle through it.

1164
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 4: And I was supportive of him trying meds before when

1165
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:41,479
Speaker 4: a doctor prescribed them, So why hide it? I want

1166
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 4: to be there for him. We've been together ten years

1167
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:45,920
Speaker 4: and have two children together. I really don't know what

1168
00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:47,880
Speaker 4: to do. Do I bring it up? Do I let

1169
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 4: him keep his secret even though it's illegally obtained. He

1170
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:54,480
Speaker 4: has an addictive personality and has been drinking lately, not excessively,

1171
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 4: but you aren't supposed to drink it all on zoloft,

1172
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:59,360
Speaker 4: and I'm worried about his health. Whatever other side effects

1173
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,200
Speaker 4: it can cost, these can make depression worse. And I

1174
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 4: know how easy it is to be in denial about depression,

1175
00:51:04,800 --> 00:51:07,400
Speaker 4: as I struggled with it after having our first baby.

1176
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 4: Lee's help, any advice is welcome. Sorry for the rambling,

1177
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,400
Speaker 4: and that is the end of that story.

1178
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,359
Speaker 7: Okay, So I'll say that if he is drinking and

1179
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 7: it's like you found sole off in the backpack, like

1180
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:21,000
Speaker 7: you need to come to him and be like because

1181
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,800
Speaker 7: because it's it is true, like if you combine alcohol

1182
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,600
Speaker 7: and like an antidepressant, it can actually just like make

1183
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 7: all the depressive symptoms worse, much worse. And so if

1184
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:31,799
Speaker 7: you're you just got to come from the angle of

1185
00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 7: like I'm trying to help you. I'm I'm worried about you.

1186
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:37,919
Speaker 7: I feel like you know, to be honest, my take

1187
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:39,759
Speaker 7: is that it's not that big of a deal that

1188
00:51:39,800 --> 00:51:43,800
Speaker 7: he probably has like a coworker's unused Soloft prescription, especially

1189
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:45,280
Speaker 7: if he's already been prescribed in the past.

1190
00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:46,200
Speaker 1: That's my take.

1191
00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:48,320
Speaker 4: Maybe don't come from like this is a legal angle.

1192
00:51:48,400 --> 00:51:50,560
Speaker 4: I think it's just like coming from, Hey, I found

1193
00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:52,799
Speaker 4: this stuff. I'm really worried about you, Like I want

1194
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 4: I want to work that like through this with you,

1195
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:57,759
Speaker 4: and I'm sorry you didn't feel comfortable coming to me,

1196
00:51:57,960 --> 00:51:59,800
Speaker 4: but like we can kick this together.

1197
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 9: Especially since they've been through it before, Like, oh, he's

1198
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 9: been through it by herself, and then he's been through

1199
00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 9: it by himself and it's like he's going back to it.

1200
00:52:08,640 --> 00:52:09,759
Speaker 9: I feel like they can talk.

1201
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 7: Yeah, just approach it from like a position of love, man,

1202
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 7: if you love him and you care about him, and

1203
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:17,800
Speaker 7: just give him the permission in this space to be vulnerable.

1204
00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:19,360
Speaker 1: That's a hard thing for men to do.

1205
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:21,839
Speaker 3: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. Bring it back

1206
00:52:21,880 --> 00:52:24,000
Speaker 3: to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsor.

1207
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:29,160
Speaker 8: My husband through a fit about the outfits my teenage

1208
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 8: daughter was wearing. I told him he has double standards.

1209
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:36,400
Speaker 1: You got double standards, like it's double vision, baby shoot.

1210
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:39,360
Speaker 8: I thirty female have a dughder fifteen female with my

1211
00:52:39,440 --> 00:52:44,080
Speaker 8: husband FORTYMI. Recently my daughter has hit a rebellious stage.

1212
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:48,600
Speaker 8: Not something I'm too stressed about. It's normally manageable teenage rebellion.

1213
00:52:48,719 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 8: By the way, this comes from Eastern Chip four to

1214
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:53,560
Speaker 8: seventy five on the r slash okay story to I'm

1215
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:56,439
Speaker 8: sub right. So the most recent thing we found out

1216
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:59,840
Speaker 8: was my daughter had stolen some of my clothes and

1217
00:53:00,239 --> 00:53:03,839
Speaker 8: changing into them outside. I punished her for stealing two

1218
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 8: weeks grounding, and she had to hand her phone to

1219
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 8: me before she went to bed.

1220
00:53:08,239 --> 00:53:11,080
Speaker 1: Oh that's good, Yeah, teach them not to steal. Stealing's bad.

1221
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:13,239
Speaker 8: But I didn't go off on her on the way

1222
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:16,840
Speaker 8: she was dressing. I don't want to push body insecurities

1223
00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:19,840
Speaker 8: onto my daughter like I got when I was a

1224
00:53:19,880 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 8: teenager smart, but I did try to make the opportunity

1225
00:53:23,560 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 8: to teach her how to dress appropriately and how she

1226
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:30,480
Speaker 8: still liked. I started boy explaining that even though women

1227
00:53:30,520 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 8: should be able to dress however they wanted to and

1228
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 8: no one think anything of it. Unfortunately, not everyone has

1229
00:53:37,239 --> 00:53:40,440
Speaker 8: that mindset yet. The world in recent years is getting better,

1230
00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:42,839
Speaker 8: but there is still quite a lot of work to do.

1231
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:46,480
Speaker 8: I use the example on if a person dresses in

1232
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:49,879
Speaker 8: emo slash goth clothing, most people would assume they could

1233
00:53:49,920 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 8: tell their music preference on appearances alone. Additionally, some judgmental

1234
00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:58,280
Speaker 8: people would associate them with a negative stereotype. She seemed

1235
00:53:58,280 --> 00:54:00,919
Speaker 8: to understand what I was talking about. I told her,

1236
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,760
Speaker 8: if she would like to change up her style of clothing,

1237
00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:07,520
Speaker 8: that it's all good, but maybe we should follow some guidelines.

1238
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:10,760
Speaker 8: I should point out the clothes my daughter was stealing

1239
00:54:10,800 --> 00:54:14,160
Speaker 8: were very revealing clothes. I got hear some pictures of

1240
00:54:14,200 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 8: celebrities on my phone showed her how most of them

1241
00:54:16,719 --> 00:54:19,560
Speaker 8: are not showing as much skin as possible. I said,

1242
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:22,359
Speaker 8: I like to follow the top or bottom rule. If

1243
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:25,480
Speaker 8: I'm wearing a low cut top, all a company that

1244
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,920
Speaker 8: with trousers or long skirt and if I'm wearing something

1245
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:32,560
Speaker 8: shorter on the legs, I'll accompany that with something flow

1246
00:54:32,760 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 8: neck high top. The celebrities I show her follow this

1247
00:54:36,120 --> 00:54:38,640
Speaker 8: kind of rule too. I wanted to show her that

1248
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:42,400
Speaker 8: this is still dressing adult too, So we also spoke

1249
00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:45,360
Speaker 8: on a little bit about body types. My daughter seems

1250
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:49,600
Speaker 8: to have mine kind of build, hourglass, my pair kind

1251
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 8: of shape. We also spoke about how just personal preferences

1252
00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 8: on things. I use the example that I prefer to

1253
00:54:56,880 --> 00:54:59,759
Speaker 8: wear silver jewelry as I like the way it looks

1254
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:03,440
Speaker 8: on me, whereas my husband likes to wear gold jewelry

1255
00:55:03,680 --> 00:55:05,680
Speaker 8: as he likes the way it looks on him. I

1256
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:08,760
Speaker 8: also did point out that these things are not fixed

1257
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:12,000
Speaker 8: rules for life. Your style may even completely change in

1258
00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,560
Speaker 8: a few years. You may even think some of the

1259
00:55:14,560 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 8: clothes that aren't made for your body top are your

1260
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 8: favorite clothes to wear. The more you experiment with clothing,

1261
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:22,719
Speaker 8: these are just nice starting guidelines to use for now.

1262
00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:26,000
Speaker 8: I use pictures of Billie Eilish to accompany this, showing

1263
00:55:26,080 --> 00:55:30,000
Speaker 8: how her style has completely changed and even though she's

1264
00:55:30,080 --> 00:55:34,320
Speaker 8: still dressing in completely different hangs and cuts of clothing,

1265
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 8: she still looks nice. After this whole talk. I organized

1266
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:40,400
Speaker 8: a time to go shopping with her and for her

1267
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,799
Speaker 8: to have some clothes that she likes in. She tried

1268
00:55:42,840 --> 00:55:45,520
Speaker 8: a few outfits that followed the top bottom rule. Some

1269
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:49,759
Speaker 8: vest tops with jeans, and some flowy sleeve tops with

1270
00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:53,440
Speaker 8: some skirts. She wanted some heels. We picked out a

1271
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:56,200
Speaker 8: pair of three inch hills that she really liked. Spoke

1272
00:55:56,200 --> 00:55:59,399
Speaker 8: about that in my wardrobe, my best clothes are kept

1273
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,279
Speaker 8: for an event. You want to be wearing those kind

1274
00:56:01,280 --> 00:56:03,280
Speaker 8: of clothes to go meet your friends in the park

1275
00:56:03,400 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 8: and completely ruin all the other clothes followed a casual

1276
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:09,360
Speaker 8: dress code. She wanted to wear one of the outfits

1277
00:56:09,440 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 8: we got on the way home. I said sure. I

1278
00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 8: thought it was cute how excited she was to have

1279
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:17,359
Speaker 8: clothes that she felt great in. I did say no

1280
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 8: to wearing the heels home, though. When we returned home,

1281
00:56:20,239 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 8: my husband saw the outfit. She was wearing a scoop

1282
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:26,399
Speaker 8: necktop with some tight jeans and boots. My husband saw

1283
00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:28,880
Speaker 8: we've been shopping and asked to see some of the

1284
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:32,279
Speaker 8: clothes she chosen. All excited, she showed him and he said,

1285
00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 8: it looks like you had a great time, And she

1286
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:36,879
Speaker 8: took the things out of her room. Later that night,

1287
00:56:37,120 --> 00:56:40,080
Speaker 8: he spoke with me, saying, all of those clothes are

1288
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 8: inappropriate for a girl her age. I pointed out that

1289
00:56:44,840 --> 00:56:47,719
Speaker 8: only in a few years till she'd be going to

1290
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:51,200
Speaker 8: UNI and dressing however she likes. I also pointed out

1291
00:56:51,480 --> 00:56:54,840
Speaker 8: she was stealing my clothes, which was way more inappropriate.

1292
00:56:55,160 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 8: He said he doesn't want her to be wearing clothes

1293
00:56:57,520 --> 00:57:02,400
Speaker 8: to be inviting unwanted. I said to him, we spoke

1294
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:06,319
Speaker 8: about dressing not too revealing, and I believe that what

1295
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 8: she was wearing earlier is completely fine. She's not a

1296
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:13,520
Speaker 8: young girl anymore, and she's very close to becoming an adult.

1297
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 8: Our job as parents is to ensure they grow into

1298
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:21,680
Speaker 8: informed and well functioned adults. If we don't put those

1299
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:25,919
Speaker 8: lessons in and almost ignore that she's growing up, when

1300
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:29,000
Speaker 8: she does go to UNI, she could possibly make other

1301
00:57:29,120 --> 00:57:33,200
Speaker 8: more inappropriate decisions with anything. He pushed more, saying she

1302
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 8: was a child now and should be still dressing like one.

1303
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:38,760
Speaker 8: I asked if our son thirteen mil was to go

1304
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:42,320
Speaker 8: out the doortopless, would you care as much? He said, no,

1305
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:45,480
Speaker 8: that's different. I said, exactly, and I think I know

1306
00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 8: a little bit more than him what it's like to

1307
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:50,240
Speaker 8: be dressing and growing up as a girl in the

1308
00:57:50,280 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 8: world than he does. Super fair, super valid. The discussion

1309
00:57:54,720 --> 00:57:57,800
Speaker 8: kind of ended there. He hasn't spoken to me about

1310
00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 8: it again, and now I feel like maybe I should

1311
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 8: communicated with him more before talking about the opportunity to

1312
00:58:04,640 --> 00:58:07,200
Speaker 8: teach her. So am I the a hole? We have

1313
00:58:07,240 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 8: an updates? Should she have said that?

1314
00:58:10,080 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 7: I mean, I think was so what she was asking

1315
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 7: was Now she kind of feels like maybe she should

1316
00:58:14,680 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 7: have talked it over more with her husband before having

1317
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:20,720
Speaker 7: this whole experience with the daughter and taking her out

1318
00:58:20,800 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 7: to go get clothes and talking to her about like

1319
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:26,320
Speaker 7: sort of how to dress as an adult and like this,

1320
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 7: you know, how she's kind of coming of age. But

1321
00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:30,520
Speaker 7: from the sound of it, it doesn't sound like the

1322
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:33,080
Speaker 7: dad would have even been supportive of that at all.

1323
00:58:33,280 --> 00:58:35,760
Speaker 7: I mean, she made a good example of like he's

1324
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 7: being like, no, that's different. She's like exactly, And it's

1325
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 7: different for her too, And I feel like I'm more

1326
00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:42,720
Speaker 7: tapped into what she's experiencing than you are.

1327
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:43,560
Speaker 1: And it's fifteen.

1328
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,320
Speaker 7: That's like that really is like the beginning of the

1329
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:49,000
Speaker 7: end in terms of like childhood, like you got to

1330
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:53,280
Speaker 7: start training them to be informed.

1331
00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 1: Adults, Like you can't just ignore it.

1332
00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:56,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, and you can't start it at eighteen because then

1333
00:58:56,680 --> 00:58:59,240
Speaker 7: they're gone, you know, if they're going to college or

1334
00:58:59,440 --> 00:59:00,960
Speaker 7: you know, if they go out and get it, get

1335
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 7: a job, some weird.

1336
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,440
Speaker 8: I think it's really healthy that this mom is having

1337
00:59:04,520 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 8: this conversation with her fifteen year old daughter, and it

1338
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:10,040
Speaker 8: will be harder for an adult, not for an adult,

1339
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:12,320
Speaker 8: probably for her husband to understand this. I mean, I

1340
00:59:12,360 --> 00:59:14,720
Speaker 8: grew up with three brothers. I don't know what a

1341
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:16,920
Speaker 8: woman's supposed to wear and what she's supposed to do

1342
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 8: and everything. And I don't think that it's necessarily wrong

1343
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:22,000
Speaker 8: that a guy doesn't have a T shirt on when

1344
00:59:22,040 --> 00:59:24,480
Speaker 8: he goes outside, but like depends on the function if

1345
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:27,920
Speaker 8: he's like out in the street, like maybe not have

1346
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:32,160
Speaker 8: your T shirt off con Texas key. And I think

1347
00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,520
Speaker 8: that it's healthy to maybe include the husband in on

1348
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,560
Speaker 8: this and like just kind of have a conversation. It'll

1349
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,200
Speaker 8: be hard, it'll be tough, but having that, like having

1350
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:41,360
Speaker 8: it out with the husband seems to be good.

1351
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:44,080
Speaker 7: Sure, I guess it deserves to be a conversation because

1352
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 7: it because it's also his daughter, and he.

1353
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 8: Has to grow up with the fact that his daughter

1354
00:59:48,080 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 8: is becoming an adult. That's hard for dad. It's like,

1355
00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 8: my little girl is becoming a woman now and there's

1356
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:55,760
Speaker 8: gonna be guys that are gonna be like lusting over her.

1357
00:59:56,240 --> 00:59:58,240
Speaker 8: That's gonna be tough as a dad to handle.

1358
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:00,080
Speaker 7: Which is why maybe he shouldn't even try to handle it.

1359
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,560
Speaker 7: He should just let the mom handle it. The mom knows.

1360
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 1: Mom already knows, and he can just let it go.

1361
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:07,240
Speaker 8: I think he's trying to figure out how to handle

1362
01:00:07,280 --> 01:00:10,080
Speaker 8: it and how to like have a protective mindset, plus

1363
01:00:10,120 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 8: being okay with the fact that the daughter's becoming older.

1364
01:00:12,680 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 1: I think that's what he needs to do. He needs

1365
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:16,280
Speaker 1: to just accept it and be okay with it.

1366
01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:19,640
Speaker 8: Update. I just wanted to start off by saying, Wow,

1367
01:00:20,080 --> 01:00:23,040
Speaker 8: thank you for all of your amazing kind words, and

1368
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 8: I did shed a few joyful tears reading them. Some

1369
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:30,560
Speaker 8: of you pointed out how she listened to my punishment

1370
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 8: and how we still had this bonding time. I would

1371
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:38,040
Speaker 8: just like to point out it didn't completely run smoothly

1372
01:00:38,280 --> 01:00:42,800
Speaker 8: as that, as those things with teenagers aren't. We grounded

1373
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:46,360
Speaker 8: her to begin with when she was obviously not happy

1374
01:00:46,400 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 8: with it. At the beginning of the grounding time we

1375
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:51,960
Speaker 8: had this whole chat. I would use this whole shopping

1376
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:55,200
Speaker 8: trip as an incentive to comply with grounding, explaining the

1377
01:00:55,240 --> 01:00:58,200
Speaker 8: grounding if taking something without permission. I do think my

1378
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:01,439
Speaker 8: husband isn't ready to see our little girl growing up

1379
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:04,840
Speaker 8: to be a woman. He is an amazing father and husband.

1380
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:08,280
Speaker 8: Before kids were born, we always dedicated to loads of

1381
01:01:08,360 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 8: open communication around children, agreeing on boundaries and never undermining

1382
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:16,320
Speaker 8: each other in front of the children. That's awesome. I

1383
01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 8: believe this is why he didn't say anything about the

1384
01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 8: way he felt. So we returned from our shopping trip smart,

1385
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 8: very smart, that's really respectful. I have had a discussion

1386
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:30,480
Speaker 8: with my husband yesterday evening I discuss everything we went through.

1387
01:01:30,600 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 8: I spoke about how she's finishing secondary school next year

1388
01:01:34,640 --> 01:01:37,840
Speaker 8: and reminding him what we are doing at that age.

1389
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:41,680
Speaker 8: Of course, he still showed a bit of resistance, claiming

1390
01:01:41,720 --> 01:01:44,919
Speaker 8: what impressions he think it might take. I showed him

1391
01:01:45,000 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 8: she was making a fine impression. What she was trying

1392
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:51,520
Speaker 8: to wear before wasn't the fine impression. But you can

1393
01:01:51,560 --> 01:01:54,560
Speaker 8: be impressed by us. Every weekday at three pm PST.

1394
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:57,720
Speaker 8: Just tap our profile to watch us live. So it

1395
01:01:57,760 --> 01:02:01,840
Speaker 8: seems like the dad is into better grounding.

1396
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:04,520
Speaker 7: I don't think that he's gonna be able to bridge

1397
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:07,320
Speaker 7: the gap all the way yet. It's gonna take time

1398
01:02:07,360 --> 01:02:09,920
Speaker 7: for him to fully accept that. Like his daughter is

1399
01:02:09,960 --> 01:02:13,080
Speaker 7: not gonna be like a little kid forever. But you know,

1400
01:02:13,680 --> 01:02:18,040
Speaker 7: whether it's fifteen or sixteen, or it's gonna happen like

1401
01:02:18,200 --> 01:02:20,800
Speaker 7: sooner than later. She's right at that point where it's

1402
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 7: the transition from adolescence to adulthood begins to start. Because

1403
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:26,760
Speaker 7: it's not just like you turn eighteen and then all

1404
01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:28,440
Speaker 7: of a sudden way, I'm you're an adult. It's like

1405
01:02:28,520 --> 01:02:31,040
Speaker 7: it happens in stages over time.

1406
01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 8: This is good. This is a good maneuver, good move.

1407
01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:36,880
Speaker 8: Our conversation ended with this, She's becoming a young woman.

1408
01:02:37,320 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 8: This unwanted attention you keep talking about is unfortunately going

1409
01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 8: to happen either with clothes in one way or the other.

1410
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:47,200
Speaker 8: He did try to protest. We spoke about how the

1411
01:02:47,280 --> 01:02:49,800
Speaker 8: clothes made her feel good and confident. If we try

1412
01:02:49,840 --> 01:02:53,240
Speaker 8: to put more teaching in place for her to become

1413
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:56,760
Speaker 8: a responsible young adult, she can still feel good and confident.

1414
01:02:57,160 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 8: By the end of the night we got very tired.

1415
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:02,520
Speaker 8: I husband did see there was no way of freezing time.

1416
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:06,040
Speaker 8: This is just the first of many instances that he

1417
01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 8: has to realize she's growing up. A husband is a

1418
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:11,920
Speaker 8: very loving man and father. He's just scared of his

1419
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,960
Speaker 8: daughter growing up. I understand there could be a lot

1420
01:03:14,960 --> 01:03:18,120
Speaker 8: of horrors for women walking in this world. He just

1421
01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:21,040
Speaker 8: wants to keep us all safe. He can now see

1422
01:03:21,160 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 8: this is just another way to keep her safe, as

1423
01:03:23,920 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 8: well as teaching our son to be a man always

1424
01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:30,320
Speaker 8: thinks of women's safety and consent for the future. Wow,

1425
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:31,200
Speaker 8: this is amazing.

1426
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:32,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds pretty good.

1427
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:35,720
Speaker 8: I like this story a lot. This is growth, and

1428
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:36,800
Speaker 8: that was amazing.

1429
01:03:36,960 --> 01:03:39,560
Speaker 7: The dad could have definitely handled it way worse and

1430
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:44,080
Speaker 7: did not like handled it sort of just moved through it.

1431
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 8: And hey, plus right a family.

1432
01:03:45,960 --> 01:03:49,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, that could have been way worse, but we like

1433
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 1: how that ended.

1434
01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:54,600
Speaker 8: I will accept people going through transformation. I am trying

1435
01:03:54,600 --> 01:03:56,360
Speaker 8: to become a better person, to have a better mindset.

1436
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:58,240
Speaker 8: It's gonna take time, but like I like that.

1437
01:03:58,160 --> 01:04:02,240
Speaker 7: Everyone's changing and they're emphasizing most of all, we don't

1438
01:04:02,280 --> 01:04:04,720
Speaker 7: want you to be a thief. Daughter, Do not steal

1439
01:04:04,800 --> 01:04:07,520
Speaker 7: my clothes. Let's just go get you your own clothes.

1440
01:04:08,520 --> 01:04:11,880
Speaker 7: I found a secret folder in my girlfriend's laptop. It

1441
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:16,360
Speaker 7: was full of mean comments about me. What my girlfriend

1442
01:04:16,400 --> 01:04:18,720
Speaker 7: female twenty three and me male twenty five. I've been

1443
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:20,840
Speaker 7: dating for a little under a year now. We met

1444
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:23,360
Speaker 7: three years ago when she was in college and I

1445
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:25,439
Speaker 7: was spending the summer at a relatives in the same

1446
01:04:25,480 --> 01:04:27,520
Speaker 7: city as her. We met on a dating app, went

1447
01:04:27,560 --> 01:04:30,240
Speaker 7: on a date and started looking up. By the way,

1448
01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:33,840
Speaker 7: this comes from user material yogurt fifty four to thirty

1449
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 7: nine on the r slash Okay story time a subreddit.

1450
01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 7: I thought she was a sweet girl and very cute,

1451
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:42,880
Speaker 7: but nothing else ever happened because a week after she

1452
01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:45,640
Speaker 7: started classes again, she told me she was seriously talking

1453
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 7: to someone. I left for grad school and so we

1454
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:51,920
Speaker 7: didn't speak again. We had each other's Instagram though. About

1455
01:04:51,960 --> 01:04:54,640
Speaker 7: a year ago she ended up going to grad school

1456
01:04:54,680 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 7: at the same institute too, shollowing you. As I I

1457
01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:00,680
Speaker 7: saw on Instagram that she was he, I.

1458
01:05:00,600 --> 01:05:03,680
Speaker 1: Slid into the DMS and then he started dating.

1459
01:05:03,840 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 7: Oh okay, wow, is that that is the most Yeah,

1460
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:09,000
Speaker 7: that's how that works now, I guess.

1461
01:05:09,000 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 4: So.

1462
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:12,560
Speaker 7: I thought she showed pretty much every green flag I

1463
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:15,200
Speaker 7: could ever imagine. She has lots of friends she's really

1464
01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:18,120
Speaker 7: close to. She's close to her family, She volunteers, she

1465
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:22,440
Speaker 7: has lots of hobbies, and is academically and professionally successful.

1466
01:05:22,520 --> 01:05:25,480
Speaker 7: She's so incredibly sweet and considerate. For example, my birthday

1467
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:27,959
Speaker 7: was just a month after we started dating, and yet

1468
01:05:28,320 --> 01:05:31,000
Speaker 7: she still got me a perfect gift. She's pretty much

1469
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:34,280
Speaker 7: beloved everywhere she goes. Her colleagues lug love her, my

1470
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:36,760
Speaker 7: friends love her, and my family loves her.

1471
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:38,840
Speaker 1: But I hate that you didn't tell us what she got.

1472
01:05:38,880 --> 01:05:41,800
Speaker 7: You come on, op, tell us what the perfect birthday

1473
01:05:41,840 --> 01:05:45,760
Speaker 7: gift was. I also want to emphasize how not mean

1474
01:05:45,960 --> 01:05:49,280
Speaker 7: spirited she is. I've definitely dated girls before who were

1475
01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:52,800
Speaker 7: a little mean towards people around them, but my girlfriend

1476
01:05:52,840 --> 01:05:54,880
Speaker 7: is nothing at all like that. The only times I've

1477
01:05:54,920 --> 01:05:57,600
Speaker 7: ever heard her talk bad about people, it's like she's

1478
01:05:57,640 --> 01:06:01,040
Speaker 7: in a stand up comedy special. It's all human, nothing mean,

1479
01:06:01,240 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 7: and she never gets into arguments where her friends or family,

1480
01:06:03,880 --> 01:06:05,919
Speaker 7: and is pretty much on good terms with everyone she's

1481
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:08,880
Speaker 7: ever met, good terms with everyone you've ever met.

1482
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:10,880
Speaker 1: How I don't know about.

1483
01:06:10,640 --> 01:06:14,080
Speaker 7: That Anyways, Today she was working on her computer and

1484
01:06:14,160 --> 01:06:16,560
Speaker 7: left for the gym. For some reason, she left it

1485
01:06:16,600 --> 01:06:19,240
Speaker 7: on I think she had some sort of research thing running.

1486
01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1487
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:21,360
Speaker 7: It was on the kitchen counter, so I had to

1488
01:06:21,400 --> 01:06:23,800
Speaker 7: move it, and I saw a Google Drive folder shared

1489
01:06:23,800 --> 01:06:27,440
Speaker 7: with a bunch of people that was actually titled Smoke

1490
01:06:27,640 --> 01:06:32,120
Speaker 7: Darts Eat Farts Super Duper Secret Edition. I know I

1491
01:06:32,160 --> 01:06:35,120
Speaker 7: should absolutely not have looked, but my curiosity got the

1492
01:06:35,120 --> 01:06:37,600
Speaker 7: better of me. Basically, it was a folder shared with

1493
01:06:37,640 --> 01:06:40,960
Speaker 7: her friend group from college, which is about ten girls

1494
01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:42,120
Speaker 7: and super close.

1495
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:44,920
Speaker 1: There were a lot of subfolders. The first folder I.

1496
01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:49,200
Speaker 7: Looked at had homework keys and back exams from their classes.

1497
01:06:49,280 --> 01:06:52,160
Speaker 7: Then I looked at a document that was titled bees

1498
01:06:52,520 --> 01:06:55,960
Speaker 7: Love Being out of Pocket. It was massive, like one

1499
01:06:56,040 --> 01:06:59,400
Speaker 7: hundred pages, and there were subheadings for different topics. It

1500
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:02,320
Speaker 7: seemed like a collection of out of pocket things any

1501
01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:05,040
Speaker 7: of them had said. Each one was cited with the

1502
01:07:05,160 --> 01:07:07,400
Speaker 7: name of which one of them had said it. As

1503
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:10,360
Speaker 7: I was scrolling through it, I saw my name under

1504
01:07:10,400 --> 01:07:14,640
Speaker 7: a subheading. Men, here's what it said paraphrased. He seems

1505
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:19,280
Speaker 7: like the kind of man to purchase LinkedIn premium.

1506
01:07:19,640 --> 01:07:20,440
Speaker 1: I feel like.

1507
01:07:20,480 --> 01:07:25,960
Speaker 7: He has a happy time to his own Instagram stories.

1508
01:07:26,040 --> 01:07:28,240
Speaker 7: There's no way that, at least once in his life

1509
01:07:28,240 --> 01:07:31,120
Speaker 7: he hasn't removed a girl's tampon.

1510
01:07:30,760 --> 01:07:34,240
Speaker 1: With his teeth. I feel violated for even having read that.

1511
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:37,640
Speaker 1: They were all signed with my girlfriend's name girl. Oh no,

1512
01:07:37,880 --> 01:07:40,240
Speaker 1: why are you wait? Maybe okay?

1513
01:07:40,240 --> 01:07:42,400
Speaker 7: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait, because

1514
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:45,320
Speaker 7: they went on that date and then they had time apart,

1515
01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:46,760
Speaker 7: and then they linked up.

1516
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:50,000
Speaker 1: So maybe this was all said in her college heyday.

1517
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:52,880
Speaker 7: I'd felt bad about snooping until then, but after that

1518
01:07:52,960 --> 01:07:54,760
Speaker 7: I really wanted to see if there was anything else

1519
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:56,920
Speaker 7: about me. I looked through the rest of that file,

1520
01:07:57,000 --> 01:07:59,760
Speaker 7: and there were insults about basically everyone they'd ever met,

1521
01:07:59,800 --> 01:08:03,280
Speaker 7: in including about every man my girlfriend had ever been with. Honestly,

1522
01:08:03,360 --> 01:08:05,840
Speaker 7: mine were way less mean than theirs. I guess that's

1523
01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:06,320
Speaker 7: a positive.

1524
01:08:06,360 --> 01:08:08,640
Speaker 1: There was also a folder with presentations.

1525
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:12,800
Speaker 7: It seemed like my girlfriend had made and presented they.

1526
01:08:12,720 --> 01:08:15,000
Speaker 4: Have too much time on their hands before each semester

1527
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:15,680
Speaker 4: in college.

1528
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:20,560
Speaker 7: They were all titled something like roster or Dababes subabes,

1529
01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:23,320
Speaker 7: and they had a slide for every man she was

1530
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,000
Speaker 7: talking to, as well as a recap or whoever she'd

1531
01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:27,720
Speaker 7: done overbreak my mind?

1532
01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:30,559
Speaker 1: So what are you doing, my man? Get out of

1533
01:08:30,560 --> 01:08:32,120
Speaker 1: that group drives, get out.

1534
01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:34,880
Speaker 7: Of course I was there with my full name and

1535
01:08:34,960 --> 01:08:37,320
Speaker 7: picks of me and a picture of my car too.

1536
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:40,000
Speaker 7: The only description of me was six out of ten,

1537
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:43,800
Speaker 7: bought me SIGs and let me use a flavored protector.

1538
01:08:44,120 --> 01:08:48,679
Speaker 1: That's why now I leave. This is the point where

1539
01:08:48,680 --> 01:08:49,360
Speaker 1: I leave now.

1540
01:08:49,479 --> 01:08:52,040
Speaker 7: There were also a lot of pictures and videos of

1541
01:08:52,080 --> 01:08:55,200
Speaker 7: them doing illegal, slash disgusting things, and there were some

1542
01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:57,880
Speaker 7: very mean things about other men they knew, like raking

1543
01:08:57,920 --> 01:09:02,280
Speaker 7: them on the fass User scale. The only other thing

1544
01:09:02,479 --> 01:09:05,000
Speaker 7: I saw about me was in a folder titled life

1545
01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:07,760
Speaker 7: Changing Moments that had a list for each of them.

1546
01:09:07,960 --> 01:09:11,160
Speaker 7: There were a lot of insane things in my girlfriends

1547
01:09:11,479 --> 01:09:16,000
Speaker 7: that I'd never heard about. Think chlamydia from unprotected, spicy

1548
01:09:16,040 --> 01:09:19,479
Speaker 7: times with bright brother, or vespa ride with Italian man,

1549
01:09:19,720 --> 01:09:22,439
Speaker 7: or smoked pack and threw up. There was also one

1550
01:09:22,479 --> 01:09:25,760
Speaker 7: about me, oh God, which basically said weft, and I

1551
01:09:25,920 --> 01:09:29,240
Speaker 7: realized that I needed to get out of my gardening

1552
01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:32,320
Speaker 7: equipment era if I didn't want to end up being

1553
01:09:32,400 --> 01:09:35,080
Speaker 7: a sad sack of crap too. That's the one that

1554
01:09:35,120 --> 01:09:37,599
Speaker 7: really got me, as it seemed so much meaner than

1555
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,920
Speaker 7: everything else, and I have no idea what she meant

1556
01:09:39,960 --> 01:09:42,120
Speaker 7: by it. It was getting close to the time she

1557
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:44,639
Speaker 7: would be back, though, so I just closed everything and

1558
01:09:44,680 --> 01:09:47,280
Speaker 7: locked her laptop. She got back and I didn't mention anything,

1559
01:09:47,280 --> 01:09:49,639
Speaker 7: and we just had dinner as normal. By the way,

1560
01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:52,880
Speaker 7: you can join us normally three pm on YouTube Live.

1561
01:09:53,400 --> 01:09:56,920
Speaker 1: Just tap our profile and you're in.

1562
01:09:57,160 --> 01:09:58,960
Speaker 4: I think this might be a breakup. Yeah, I think

1563
01:09:59,000 --> 01:10:01,160
Speaker 4: this is over. I think if you've found out a

1564
01:10:01,160 --> 01:10:03,719
Speaker 4: lot of information that you can't really shove back down

1565
01:10:03,800 --> 01:10:05,400
Speaker 4: into the abyss.

1566
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:06,120
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I would ask.

1567
01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:07,000
Speaker 4: I would talk to her.

1568
01:10:07,040 --> 01:10:08,360
Speaker 9: I would talk to her for sure, but I would

1569
01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:10,840
Speaker 9: ask when this if this wasn't college again, like that

1570
01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:11,479
Speaker 9: first date.

1571
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 4: That's what I'm saying. You got to look at the log.

1572
01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:16,439
Speaker 1: This was like at the dog last week?

1573
01:10:17,439 --> 01:10:20,320
Speaker 4: When was it last updated? Who doc has all that information?

1574
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:23,120
Speaker 7: I'm here now because I have absolutely no idea what

1575
01:10:23,200 --> 01:10:26,800
Speaker 7: to do. Everything I saw was honestly awful, and yet

1576
01:10:26,800 --> 01:10:29,599
Speaker 7: she is the last person I would ever expect something

1577
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,160
Speaker 7: like this from. I mean disbelief, and I really don't

1578
01:10:32,160 --> 01:10:34,040
Speaker 7: know where to go from here. I'm hoping that there

1579
01:10:34,080 --> 01:10:37,479
Speaker 7: is some explanation that doesn't make her the world's worst person,

1580
01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:40,000
Speaker 7: and yet I really don't want to confront her either.

1581
01:10:40,080 --> 01:10:42,040
Speaker 7: You have a great thing going and I don't see

1582
01:10:42,080 --> 01:10:44,759
Speaker 7: any way that confronting her isn't going to lead to drama.

1583
01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:46,519
Speaker 7: I don't want to talk to anyone I know about

1584
01:10:46,520 --> 01:10:48,800
Speaker 7: this in case we stay together and she then has

1585
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:51,160
Speaker 7: to face them. So I thought I would ask here

1586
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:54,040
Speaker 7: and see if anyone had any reason to apply to

1587
01:10:54,120 --> 01:10:56,040
Speaker 7: this completely absurd situation.

1588
01:10:56,479 --> 01:10:58,000
Speaker 1: You just got to lay it out on the table

1589
01:10:58,040 --> 01:10:59,160
Speaker 1: and be like, lay it out.

1590
01:10:59,280 --> 01:11:01,439
Speaker 7: I think you're great, right, and then just being like,

1591
01:11:01,479 --> 01:11:03,320
Speaker 7: that's why me finding this?

1592
01:11:03,520 --> 01:11:05,280
Speaker 1: I'm really confused, And I want to.

1593
01:11:05,240 --> 01:11:08,600
Speaker 7: Know how you really feel about us and about me,

1594
01:11:08,760 --> 01:11:11,599
Speaker 7: because now where I once was like pretty certain we

1595
01:11:11,600 --> 01:11:13,439
Speaker 7: were in a really good spot, I have no.

1596
01:11:13,439 --> 01:11:15,639
Speaker 1: Idea what to think anymore. All right, here's the update.

1597
01:11:15,720 --> 01:11:17,880
Speaker 7: My original post got a little more attention than I

1598
01:11:17,880 --> 01:11:20,480
Speaker 7: thought it would, but it seemed like you were all invested,

1599
01:11:20,560 --> 01:11:23,599
Speaker 7: so I decided to update. The responses on that post

1600
01:11:23,760 --> 01:11:25,680
Speaker 7: were very mixed, but they gave me a lot to

1601
01:11:25,720 --> 01:11:28,240
Speaker 7: think about. I did some reflection and realized that her

1602
01:11:28,280 --> 01:11:31,160
Speaker 7: tone didn't really seem to be much meaner than the

1603
01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:34,360
Speaker 7: jokes she usually makes about people. The ones about me

1604
01:11:34,439 --> 01:11:37,760
Speaker 7: in particular, I realized were actually hilarious, like I kept

1605
01:11:37,760 --> 01:11:40,400
Speaker 7: cracking up about the LinkedIn one, and they were honestly

1606
01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:44,479
Speaker 7: entirely accurate too. He says, what I was honestly really

1607
01:11:44,479 --> 01:11:47,040
Speaker 7: bothered about was that I was included, and I pretty

1608
01:11:47,080 --> 01:11:49,040
Speaker 7: much wanted to know if she actually liked me or

1609
01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:53,000
Speaker 7: was just settling. I knew about her gardening tool phase before,

1610
01:11:53,200 --> 01:11:55,240
Speaker 7: so I wasn't that upset about it either, and I

1611
01:11:55,280 --> 01:11:57,920
Speaker 7: felt like it wasn't my place to say anything about that,

1612
01:11:58,080 --> 01:12:00,519
Speaker 7: which is true. I decided that I needed to confront

1613
01:12:00,600 --> 01:12:03,160
Speaker 7: her because the situation was upsetting me a lot. I

1614
01:12:03,240 --> 01:12:06,120
Speaker 7: decided that I was going to a ask her about

1615
01:12:06,160 --> 01:12:08,200
Speaker 7: the six out of ten rating because it honestly hurt

1616
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:10,679
Speaker 7: my pride a lot aha, and be ask her about

1617
01:12:10,680 --> 01:12:13,639
Speaker 7: the sad sack of crap comment because that was one

1618
01:12:13,960 --> 01:12:17,040
Speaker 7: the one that seemed the meanest, and see ask her

1619
01:12:17,080 --> 01:12:18,040
Speaker 7: in general.

1620
01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:19,400
Speaker 1: If she actually wanted to be with me.

1621
01:12:19,520 --> 01:12:21,640
Speaker 7: It would also have been a deal breaker if she

1622
01:12:21,760 --> 01:12:24,479
Speaker 7: kept updating the document with stuff about me after we'd

1623
01:12:24,479 --> 01:12:28,599
Speaker 7: started dating, or if she had any really unacceptable stuff

1624
01:12:28,600 --> 01:12:31,920
Speaker 7: on people like revenge corn unlike what a lot of

1625
01:12:31,920 --> 01:12:34,240
Speaker 7: people said I did not think she was going to

1626
01:12:34,439 --> 01:12:36,760
Speaker 7: ted bundy me while I wept. I've seen her in

1627
01:12:36,920 --> 01:12:39,960
Speaker 7: plenty of high stress situations and I have never thought

1628
01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:43,200
Speaker 7: she was going to do the big h And I'm

1629
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:45,679
Speaker 7: also not that afraid of a five foot three girl.

1630
01:12:45,840 --> 01:12:48,160
Speaker 7: I also didn't think that it was right to not

1631
01:12:48,240 --> 01:12:50,559
Speaker 7: say anything, as I knew it was going to continue

1632
01:12:50,560 --> 01:12:53,120
Speaker 7: bothering me. That said, I did realize that I wanted

1633
01:12:53,120 --> 01:12:54,920
Speaker 7: to mess with her a bit. I've never met anyone

1634
01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:57,080
Speaker 7: who takes it better than her, Like anytime I've seen

1635
01:12:57,120 --> 01:12:59,200
Speaker 7: people making jokes about her, she takes it very well

1636
01:12:59,200 --> 01:13:01,400
Speaker 7: and enjoys it, so I didn't think it would upset

1637
01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:01,920
Speaker 7: her too much.

1638
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:03,639
Speaker 4: Oh so he's gonna go. It's gotta go a little

1639
01:13:03,640 --> 01:13:04,120
Speaker 4: funny with it.

1640
01:13:04,280 --> 01:13:06,360
Speaker 1: He's going to go the route that I suggested.

1641
01:13:06,400 --> 01:13:06,719
Speaker 2: Okay.

1642
01:13:07,120 --> 01:13:09,080
Speaker 7: The day after I made my post, we didn't see

1643
01:13:09,120 --> 01:13:11,519
Speaker 7: each other until dinner. I'd been a bit weird all

1644
01:13:11,600 --> 01:13:13,400
Speaker 7: day over text, but she didn't think much of it

1645
01:13:13,439 --> 01:13:15,960
Speaker 7: and just asked me if I was okay. I devised

1646
01:13:15,960 --> 01:13:18,360
Speaker 7: my plan at this point, so over dinner, I dropped

1647
01:13:18,479 --> 01:13:22,520
Speaker 7: that I was considering buying a LinkedIn Plus subscription for networking.

1648
01:13:22,760 --> 01:13:25,479
Speaker 7: She gave me a side eye like I've never seen

1649
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:28,600
Speaker 7: before and asked me why on earth I would do that.

1650
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:31,360
Speaker 7: I saw her later texting her group chat. I didn't

1651
01:13:31,400 --> 01:13:33,439
Speaker 7: see what, but I was pretty sure it was about that.

1652
01:13:33,680 --> 01:13:37,840
Speaker 4: They were like. She was like girls, girls, we got caught.

1653
01:13:38,000 --> 01:13:40,160
Speaker 1: Imagine. She texted him and was like, we were right.

1654
01:13:40,400 --> 01:13:43,760
Speaker 7: That night, we were trying out some new kung fu

1655
01:13:43,920 --> 01:13:47,200
Speaker 7: in the bedroom, and as we were cuddling actor, I

1656
01:13:47,400 --> 01:13:50,320
Speaker 7: asked her if she was open to something when she

1657
01:13:50,920 --> 01:13:54,559
Speaker 7: was on her period. She asked me what, and I

1658
01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:57,280
Speaker 7: asked if I could h I'm not even gonna repeat

1659
01:13:57,280 --> 01:13:59,679
Speaker 7: this because it's so disgusting to me, as I'd seen

1660
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:02,280
Speaker 7: a lot on TikTok about it. She looked like she

1661
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:04,760
Speaker 7: was actually going to scream, but held it in and

1662
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:07,559
Speaker 7: said sure. The next day she seemed suspicious, so I

1663
01:14:07,600 --> 01:14:09,679
Speaker 7: decided to really finish it off. She went to work

1664
01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:11,720
Speaker 7: and I had the day off, so I decided to

1665
01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:12,760
Speaker 7: really go to town.

1666
01:14:12,840 --> 01:14:15,559
Speaker 1: On my Instagram story, some of you thought that the.

1667
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:18,960
Speaker 7: Instagram story comment I posted pictures of myself on there,

1668
01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:21,840
Speaker 7: but I actually just post a lot of aesthetic pictures

1669
01:14:21,960 --> 01:14:24,200
Speaker 7: that I do spend a lot of time taking. I

1670
01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:26,800
Speaker 7: think that comment in her doc was probably because on

1671
01:14:26,840 --> 01:14:28,759
Speaker 7: our first date I took some pics from my Instagram

1672
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:31,320
Speaker 7: story and she said something like, oh yeah, I like those,

1673
01:14:31,400 --> 01:14:33,280
Speaker 7: and I said, and they're not really good enough, and

1674
01:14:33,320 --> 01:14:36,840
Speaker 7: she laughed at me even then. So anyways, that day

1675
01:14:36,880 --> 01:14:39,559
Speaker 7: I roamed around the city to all my favorite esthetic

1676
01:14:39,600 --> 01:14:42,960
Speaker 7: spots and posted probably ten or so stories, which I imagine

1677
01:14:42,880 --> 01:14:45,400
Speaker 7: annoyed everyone a lot. She slid up on them, and

1678
01:14:45,400 --> 01:14:48,679
Speaker 7: by like the tenth one she said, Dang, you're really

1679
01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:50,759
Speaker 7: going to eff in town on these today.

1680
01:14:50,960 --> 01:14:52,600
Speaker 1: So I replied something like let me.

1681
01:14:52,680 --> 01:14:54,720
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, it gets me in the mood, you know,

1682
01:14:55,040 --> 01:14:58,800
Speaker 7: to which she replied with the eyebrows raised emoji. At

1683
01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:01,360
Speaker 7: this point I think she'd on, and I had honestly

1684
01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:03,800
Speaker 7: been acting a bit off too, because my pride was

1685
01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:07,479
Speaker 7: still a little bruised, and I was also regretting having snooped.

1686
01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:10,000
Speaker 7: That night, she came to my place with my favorite

1687
01:15:10,000 --> 01:15:12,600
Speaker 7: dinner and subtlely for her, asked me if there was

1688
01:15:12,640 --> 01:15:14,840
Speaker 7: anything I wanted to talk about. At this point, I

1689
01:15:14,920 --> 01:15:17,400
Speaker 7: laid it out for and I prefaced it with apologizing

1690
01:15:17,439 --> 01:15:19,559
Speaker 7: for snooping, but that the title of the document had

1691
01:15:19,560 --> 01:15:22,599
Speaker 7: caught my eye. She looked absolutely mortified, but was also

1692
01:15:22,720 --> 01:15:25,879
Speaker 7: laughing and kept apologizing. I laid out my three concerns

1693
01:15:25,880 --> 01:15:28,080
Speaker 7: to her, and she told me that the six s

1694
01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:30,040
Speaker 7: out of ten was truthful at the time, but she

1695
01:15:30,120 --> 01:15:32,680
Speaker 7: did like me a lot, as evidence by dating me.

1696
01:15:33,000 --> 01:15:35,840
Speaker 7: The sad saga crap comment was about all the people

1697
01:15:35,920 --> 01:15:39,200
Speaker 7: she knew who had only garden tooled around and never

1698
01:15:39,240 --> 01:15:42,439
Speaker 7: had real relationships, and that being with me made her

1699
01:15:42,479 --> 01:15:44,519
Speaker 7: realize that she would much prefer to be in a

1700
01:15:44,560 --> 01:15:47,200
Speaker 7: relationship with someone like me, but that she thought she'd

1701
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:50,120
Speaker 7: squandered her chances by hooking up with me instead, and

1702
01:15:50,120 --> 01:15:53,080
Speaker 7: that c Yes, obviously she loved and liked and respected

1703
01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:54,920
Speaker 7: me a lot. She also invited me to look through

1704
01:15:54,960 --> 01:15:57,639
Speaker 7: the folder freely and that she wasn't ashamed of anything

1705
01:15:57,640 --> 01:15:59,920
Speaker 7: in there, just embarrassed that I had seen those common

1706
01:16:00,080 --> 01:16:01,880
Speaker 7: about myself. I checked, and there was nothing in there

1707
01:16:01,880 --> 01:16:04,200
Speaker 7: about me since we'd started dating. The only stuff was

1708
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:06,160
Speaker 7: from when we'd hooked up. She also pointed out a

1709
01:16:06,200 --> 01:16:08,040
Speaker 7: document that I hadn't looked at before. It was in

1710
01:16:08,040 --> 01:16:10,720
Speaker 7: a folder titled rankings, and each girl had a doc

1711
01:16:10,760 --> 01:16:12,280
Speaker 7: in there. She only let me look at hers, but

1712
01:16:12,360 --> 01:16:14,240
Speaker 7: It was basically a ranking of every person she'd ever

1713
01:16:14,320 --> 01:16:16,120
Speaker 7: been involved with in any way. It was a long

1714
01:16:16,160 --> 01:16:20,120
Speaker 7: document with comments I was first and where for everyone

1715
01:16:20,120 --> 01:16:22,320
Speaker 7: else there was just a list of pros and cons.

1716
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:25,800
Speaker 7: Mine just said love him xxxx. It seemed like they

1717
01:16:25,840 --> 01:16:28,800
Speaker 7: would all comment on each others to argue about the rankings,

1718
01:16:28,920 --> 01:16:31,080
Speaker 7: like some of them had things like, oh no, he's

1719
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:34,240
Speaker 7: the way marthechs, they move him up. But mine just

1720
01:16:34,280 --> 01:16:36,360
Speaker 7: had comments from all the girls pretty much affirming the

1721
01:16:36,439 --> 01:16:39,679
Speaker 7: choice and praising me. A okay, so you're in the clear.

1722
01:16:39,840 --> 01:16:43,679
Speaker 7: There we go, You're good. Yeah, this is really really

1723
01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:46,240
Speaker 7: turned around. So I was pretty satisfied with what I saw.

1724
01:16:46,280 --> 01:16:48,559
Speaker 7: And it also seems like they only update it now

1725
01:16:48,640 --> 01:16:52,320
Speaker 7: with story, gossip or pictures, and no insults or anything

1726
01:16:52,360 --> 01:16:55,760
Speaker 7: like that. My girlfriend was overall mortified and extremely apologetic,

1727
01:16:55,800 --> 01:16:58,040
Speaker 7: and I was also apologetic about looking through it, and

1728
01:16:58,080 --> 01:16:59,760
Speaker 7: told her she could look through anything I owned if

1729
01:16:59,800 --> 01:17:02,200
Speaker 7: she but she turned me down. She wasn't upset about

1730
01:17:02,200 --> 01:17:04,080
Speaker 7: the snooping at all and said that she had nothing

1731
01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:05,720
Speaker 7: to hide and that she would have done the same

1732
01:17:05,800 --> 01:17:08,360
Speaker 7: thing if she had seen a folder as artfully and

1733
01:17:08,479 --> 01:17:10,880
Speaker 7: intriguingly named as Theirs.

1734
01:17:10,600 --> 01:17:12,720
Speaker 4: She's like, it was just too good to pass that.

1735
01:17:12,920 --> 01:17:15,240
Speaker 7: She's like, I fully understand when you see smoke darts

1736
01:17:15,280 --> 01:17:17,200
Speaker 7: eat farts super duper secret, you just.

1737
01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:18,320
Speaker 1: Got to look at that folder.

1738
01:17:18,439 --> 01:17:20,920
Speaker 7: So yeah, we're all good. Thank you to everyone who

1739
01:17:20,920 --> 01:17:23,719
Speaker 7: commented and gave me some perspective. Perhaps I'll update next

1740
01:17:23,720 --> 01:17:27,880
Speaker 7: month if she lets me do the do the tampon tooth.

1741
01:17:28,080 --> 01:17:30,400
Speaker 1: Also, I'm glad to find her. You found her humor entertaining.

1742
01:17:30,439 --> 01:17:33,160
Speaker 7: She's definitely very funny and if you want some other roasts,

1743
01:17:33,200 --> 01:17:35,000
Speaker 7: I can share them in the comments. I didn't tell

1744
01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:37,400
Speaker 7: her that Reddit loved them so that her ego didn't

1745
01:17:37,439 --> 01:17:40,400
Speaker 7: get stroked anymore, and she probably wouldn't have been upset

1746
01:17:40,400 --> 01:17:42,599
Speaker 7: with me posting this on Reddit. Also, she probably would

1747
01:17:42,600 --> 01:17:44,519
Speaker 7: have been disappointed about me not coming up with the

1748
01:17:44,560 --> 01:17:46,559
Speaker 7: plan to drop the comments to her on my own.

1749
01:17:46,840 --> 01:17:48,719
Speaker 1: And I knew she wouldn't see any of these.

1750
01:17:48,600 --> 01:17:50,720
Speaker 7: Because, in her typical style, she once told me that

1751
01:17:50,800 --> 01:17:53,080
Speaker 7: she didn't go on Reddit because she was afraid social

1752
01:17:53,080 --> 01:17:55,960
Speaker 7: ineptitude was contagious, and that if I ever saw her

1753
01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:58,200
Speaker 7: on Reddit for non work reasons, to take her out

1754
01:17:58,200 --> 01:18:03,439
Speaker 7: back and do an old yellow Taylor and the yeah yeah, man.

1755
01:18:03,560 --> 01:18:06,760
Speaker 1: And that what that's the end, the end, that's the

1756
01:18:06,840 --> 01:18:07,960
Speaker 1: legitimate story.