Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in.
Speaker 3: It's been a minute.
Speaker 2: It has been a minute because we did pre recorded
Speaker 2: shows and this is an actual Monday fun day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, afreshy as they say.
Speaker 2: I don't know who says that, but somebody.
Speaker 1: Referenced the term for oh it's Teddy Mellencamp. Oh, but
Speaker 1: it was something totally different. But she called him ssh
Speaker 1: and I was like, I like that term. Okay, so
Speaker 1: we'll adopt that for today.
Speaker 3: Another thing that I learned over the weekend is it tracks.
Speaker 2: That's like if something makes sense at tracks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's something the kids are saying these days.
Speaker 2: I feel that's been around for a minute.
Speaker 1: Oh really, Yeah, that's not new. Uh huh, it's new
Speaker 1: to me. That's good though. Yeah, you start hearing me
Speaker 1: say that that.
Speaker 2: They say, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Are you doing I'm doing good? How are you?
Speaker 2: I'm good?
Speaker 3: You just got home yesterday?
Speaker 2: I did. I spent a full week in New York.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever done that. I think that's
Speaker 2: the longest I've ever been strictly in the city of
Speaker 2: New York.
Speaker 3: And you and Haley are no longer long distance.
Speaker 2: She landed like twenty minutes ago.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 2: God, it was rocky. It wasn't perfect, but we did it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: You know they say that the only way through, No,
Speaker 1: the only way out, the only way out through.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you. We got there. Yeah, and you went
Speaker 3: through it.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: It was not easy. No, it was not a straight path.
Speaker 2: It sure wasn't.
Speaker 3: It was not.
Speaker 1: It was quite a windy path. Uh, ups and down,
Speaker 1: peaks and valleys.
Speaker 3: Yes, and we're here, we're here at the finish line.
Speaker 2: The finish line you went through I did.
Speaker 3: Are you proud of yourself?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I would like to have handled some moments better,
Speaker 2: but all in oh yeah, I'm proud of myself. I'm
Speaker 2: proud of both of us because she, uh, while I
Speaker 2: was going through it also meant she was going through it,
Speaker 2: wow on tour. So we did it and she's back
Speaker 2: and now she'll probably have like post tour blues, you know. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: like the come down because like you're on stage every
Speaker 2: night with people literally chanting your name.
Speaker 3: Right, and then she comes home and you're like.
Speaker 2: I don't speak like that, nor do I say that
Speaker 2: but like maybe Phoebe and I can just like imitate
Speaker 2: an audience till she like fully comes down, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I speaking of Phoebe. I so I was gone
Speaker 2: for a week and I go to pick her up.
Speaker 2: She goes and hides under the bed like she did
Speaker 2: not want to leave, which is comforting in the fact
Speaker 2: that she loves it there. She loves it there. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but also like, damn, that's tough.
Speaker 3: You know, it's tough.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been processing that a lot as well. I've
Speaker 2: moved up from the Haley stuff and now I'm focusing
Speaker 2: on the rejection from Phoebe.
Speaker 3: So it's funny because it happens to me.
Speaker 1: But the reverse, like when I leave Sonny, when I
Speaker 1: leave her, I wish she was more sad to see
Speaker 1: me go, you know, like she could care less. But
Speaker 1: when I come home together her, when I come back together,
Speaker 1: she's really excited. You Know.
Speaker 2: What I think happened is that Brooks Alley's dog was there,
Speaker 2: and he is like obsessed with me, so he came
Speaker 2: up to me first. I was petting him when she
Speaker 2: came up, and I think she kind of got like jealous. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like you're gonna acknowledge him first. Yeah, I'd be the same.
Speaker 2: She's a little bit like me, so much like you.
Speaker 1: It's so the fact that our dogs are quite literally
Speaker 1: the doppelgangers of our own personalities.
Speaker 3: Is pretty wild.
Speaker 5: It is.
Speaker 2: It's pretty good. Yeah, But New York's so fun. There's
Speaker 2: such a fun energy there that like you don't really
Speaker 2: find anywhere else. Do you feel that way? So?
Speaker 1: Uh, yeah, I get what you're saying in terms of
Speaker 1: like the buzz, but like, don't you feel tired there?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I one of the
Speaker 2: nights we so so Hailey was there Sunday or Monday
Speaker 2: to Wednesday, and then she went on to finish the
Speaker 2: tour and then I hadn't booked my flight back yet,
Speaker 2: and it was Wednesday night at Hailey show, and I
Speaker 2: was talking to Marla and she ended up getting a
Speaker 2: job that was in New York on like Tuesday, and
Speaker 2: so she was like, oh my gosh, do I just
Speaker 2: stay here or do I like go all the way
Speaker 2: back to LA and then fly out again. And I
Speaker 2: was like, well, I haven't booked a flight yet, so
Speaker 2: I'm down to hang for the weekend if you want to,
Speaker 2: And so we just decided to do it. And it
Speaker 2: was so fun and it was fun to not have
Speaker 2: I was telling Hanah, like to not have a schedule
Speaker 2: of things to do. It was like we just did whatever.
Speaker 2: So like one night we went out and we were
Speaker 2: up like super late, and then the next night we
Speaker 2: stayed in the room and benched a show and took
Speaker 2: an edible and ordered pizza.
Speaker 3: That is fun because I feel like every time I
Speaker 3: go to New York, I a.
Speaker 2: Ohays so but Hailey. So, Hailey's book came out, Girls
Speaker 2: Like Girls everyone.
Speaker 3: I got my copy in the mail, I got the.
Speaker 2: Five copies I ordered. I have the Sunshine mine and
Speaker 2: Girls Like Girls just like stacks of them. And then
Speaker 2: so she went on Good Morning America, which was really cool.
Speaker 2: And then that was a very early morning as you know,
Speaker 2: as a fellow author.
Speaker 3: A fellow author, Yeah, I know the grind.
Speaker 2: I'm just like everyone around me is just like authors,
Speaker 2: and it's so casual, you know, just drop breasts. Yeah,
Speaker 2: dropping books left and right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, other people are dropping babies. We're dropping books.
Speaker 1: I said, weird, y'all are dropping books. And then she
Speaker 1: had two shows that were in uh, New York, she
Speaker 1: sold out Irving Plaza two nights in a row, which
Speaker 1: is really cool.
Speaker 2: And then it was really fun. I had a great time.
Speaker 2: And then I did a shoot. I did a magazine shoot.
Speaker 2: I don't know how much I can talk about it,
Speaker 2: but it's for Pride, Happy Pride Month, everybody, everybody. So yeah,
Speaker 2: it was really fun and I'm I feel fine, not
Speaker 2: exhausted as I normally do. From New York.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, wow, what'd you do?
Speaker 2: So I went to Austin, Yeah, which I there.
Speaker 1: I just have so many things to say, Like, I
Speaker 1: have so many thoughts and so many things going on.
Speaker 1: First of all, I always forget how much I enjoy
Speaker 1: Teddy Mellencamp.
Speaker 2: She's hilariously enjoyable to be around.
Speaker 1: She really is, like there's always something coming out of
Speaker 1: her mouth that just like makes me laugh.
Speaker 3: And so I spent.
Speaker 1: I mean it was only in Austin for twenty four hours,
Speaker 1: but I spent, like I went. We went back after dinner,
Speaker 1: We went back into Teddy's room and I just stayed
Speaker 1: in there for like two and a half hours, just talking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just till the wee hours of the morning.
Speaker 5: And that's where Freshy came up.
Speaker 3: That's where fresh she came up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but the hotel that we were staying in was haunted,
Speaker 1: so like none of us wanted to go to bed,
Speaker 1: which is why I think we all stayed up till
Speaker 1: the wee hours of the morning.
Speaker 3: But yeah, the hotel was haunted.
Speaker 2: Who found out?
Speaker 3: Uh, I don't know. I think maybe Tara figured it out.
Speaker 1: But it's like famously known, Like it's like there's articles
Speaker 1: online about how haunted this hotel is. I know, when
Speaker 1: you walk in, you do not get warm, cozy vibes
Speaker 1: at all. So I was already thrown off by the hotel,
Speaker 1: and then when they told me it was haunted, I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm done, Like I'm done, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to sleep tonight.
Speaker 3: It's fine.
Speaker 6: So I think I guarantee you it's the power of suggestion.
Speaker 6: For sure, I guarantee you. I would have stopped like
Speaker 6: a baby in that hotel. I don't know what.
Speaker 3: Baby as well.
Speaker 2: It was just yeah, yeah, the stinch problem is haunted
Speaker 2: or just like a bad suit. But you're so right.
Speaker 1: If I didn't know it was haunted, I probably would
Speaker 1: have been fine. But because I knew that it was,
Speaker 1: I was just kind of.
Speaker 5: Like on it, or if you didn't believe in that stuff.
Speaker 3: I don't believe in that.
Speaker 5: You clearly do.
Speaker 6: If you can't sleep because of the suggestion that there's
Speaker 6: a ghost watching you.
Speaker 3: No, and then this is the best thing. So do
Speaker 3: you know Christine Taylor is.
Speaker 2: From Yeah, Ben Stiller's X.
Speaker 3: Yes, well and Current they got back together.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, good for them.
Speaker 3: But I I'm not sure how long.
Speaker 5: Recent they separated.
Speaker 3: For a while, they separated, but they never divorced.
Speaker 2: I think I had like a she has like Jennifer
Speaker 2: Anniston vibes.
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, she is so lovely in person. I could
Speaker 1: not get over it. So Ashley, I spills like an
Speaker 1: entire cup, like this big of coffee just straight up
Speaker 1: into her bag and it was a really nice bag,
Speaker 1: like a really nice bag, and just got everything in there,
Speaker 1: just drenched, and like you know, like when something like
Speaker 1: happens like that, you can feel the person that like
Speaker 1: build on gets tense, but they're like, you know, playing
Speaker 1: it off, like it's okay, it's okay. She literally could
Speaker 1: not have cared less, like could not have cared less.
Speaker 1: It's spilled on her dress, it's stilled everywhere. She's just
Speaker 1: wiping it down. I was like, it's that's all good,
Speaker 1: no problem. Ashley was like mortified. I thought Ashley was dying,
Speaker 1: but it was. She was so cool and I was
Speaker 1: just like wow, I really was impressed by her just
Speaker 1: in general.
Speaker 3: I really really liked her.
Speaker 2: Great, shall we have her on the podcast?
Speaker 5: Yeah, well we could get her.
Speaker 2: She hosts one of our podcasts, right, that's what she
Speaker 2: loved to have her. I feel like she was in
Speaker 2: the Brady Bunch, right, yeah.
Speaker 3: She was Marsha Brady.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah that's great news. Yeah that tracks right, yeah,
Speaker 2: that does track.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that tracks, good job, Tanya, Yeah, in tracks.
Speaker 1: But so I really enjoyed her, and I mean everybody
Speaker 1: there and got to see Ben, So it was fun.
Speaker 3: It was like fun to be in Austin.
Speaker 1: But it was weird because I wasn't there with Becca,
Speaker 1: and like, uh, I equate it to kind of like
Speaker 1: high school or like everybody has their kind of like clicks,
Speaker 1: you know, because everybody was there with their podcast partner,
Speaker 1: so it was like they had their podcast partner with them,
Speaker 1: and then Teddy had Jenny Jenny Garth who does Nino too,
Speaker 1: and om Gene, so like they had like their little
Speaker 1: they were going to dinner, the two of them, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't have my partner here. It
Speaker 1: was kind of I felt really like fish out of
Speaker 1: water for a minute. Like I was like, Becca, it's
Speaker 1: weird being here without you.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know it was a thing.
Speaker 3: Well because I wasn't on the panel, so it wasn't
Speaker 3: like it wasn't a part of it. I was just moderating.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, she text me and she's like, everyone's going
Speaker 2: to dinner and everyone separated. I'm like, you literally are
Speaker 2: friends with all of these people, like just be like, hey,
Speaker 2: can you fit one more?
Speaker 3: So everybody did invite me, that's the thing, Like I
Speaker 3: had to invite you.
Speaker 2: It was just a pity party.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. I was like, but like Beca's not here,
Speaker 3: and like I don't have my person.
Speaker 2: Here with your security blanket.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was weird.
Speaker 2: I get that sometimes, going to those things without like
Speaker 2: the like when you're a person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that.
Speaker 2: Well, thanks for missing me. I just nice to be
Speaker 2: missed because Phoebe didn't. And yeah, well.
Speaker 3: Yeah Phoebe did not miss you, but I certainly did.
Speaker 2: I really appreciate that. How was the arcade with the fan.
Speaker 2: I was like dying laughing at Robbie's story of you
Speaker 2: doing the VHR was a VHR.
Speaker 3: It's like VR VR.
Speaker 2: VR, yeah, vhs bom that tracks.
Speaker 3: I'm okay. So I've never done VR like that before.
Speaker 1: So I didn't realize that I was in a room
Speaker 1: with just like it was just a room with plexiglass.
Speaker 1: I was doing this maze and so when this monster
Speaker 1: came out and attacked me, I was like kneeling down
Speaker 1: because I didn't want to hit me.
Speaker 3: Like I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize. And also I had headphones and so
Speaker 1: I couldn't hear that. They were like literally right there
Speaker 1: like robbing. The kids are there laughing hysterically at me,
Speaker 1: and I'm like dodging this thing hitting me and like
Speaker 1: trying to shoot it and stuff.
Speaker 2: It was actually really fun. I've never done it before.
Speaker 1: But Haley, first of all, you would love the place
Speaker 1: that we went to. Yeah, I mean two Bit Circus.
Speaker 1: It's in downtown LA and it's just like a giant arcade.
Speaker 1: So there's like arcades and or it's like games like
Speaker 1: you know, pac Man, and they have like all like
Speaker 1: the ski ball and stuff.
Speaker 2: They all this They have like Papa shot.
Speaker 1: Yes, they have all that stuff, and then they had
Speaker 1: those VR things. They had things that you could like
Speaker 1: fly wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was like my go to whenever I was dating.
Speaker 2: We would, I would I would talk about that. That
Speaker 2: was like a skill that I had. Yeah, like Papa shot,
Speaker 2: quick shot basketball thing at arcades and then obviously guys
Speaker 2: would be like, Okay, let's let's go to the arcade,
Speaker 2: and I would dominate. Actually, I need your help.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you can tell that my nails
Speaker 3: are broken.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they are one of them.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So Robbie's kids are really into basketball right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: and that's all we're playing lately.
Speaker 2: Oh do you need some skills? I would like some practice. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'd like to be better, Tanya. What if we document,
Speaker 2: like we do a series where we're like secretly practicing
Speaker 2: and then we all go play and you like crush it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I'm not bad. Surprisingly, I'm not terrible.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're weirdly. You have some athletic ability that comes
Speaker 2: out in.
Speaker 1: Weird like athletic adjacent Yes, yeah, like I wouldn't say
Speaker 1: an athletic, but I'm like almost there.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I want to.
Speaker 1: I want to be a better teammate for the like
Speaker 1: the kid that the team that I'm on, you know,
Speaker 1: because Robbie is obviously really good and so they're always winning.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we gotta get to Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I'm gonna shorten my nails.
Speaker 2: Yeah, step, it's hard to shoot with long nails.
Speaker 1: What I realize is when I'm blocking is when they
Speaker 1: break because I'm I'm good at defense.
Speaker 2: You just blocking like that? Yeah yeah, regarding the children
Speaker 2: or yeah.
Speaker 3: So anyways, I need your help.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm so down for this. Yeah. I would love
Speaker 2: to give like lessons practice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so come over because we've got the hoop now.
Speaker 2: Oh great, I have a hoop too.
Speaker 3: Oh wow.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so we can prop it up.
Speaker 3: Hoop and have summer twenty twenty three. They're not ready, No, no, no.
Speaker 2: Should we take a break.
Speaker 3: Yeah, to discuss we miss the Taylor Swift stuff. What
Speaker 3: the new songs?
Speaker 1: Oh my, because we were we were pre recorded that episode.
Speaker 2: We'll be right back with that. We're back, okay. So
Speaker 2: right after we recorded the podcast, Taylor dropped some what
Speaker 2: it was like an extended version of the deluxe album. Yeah.
Speaker 1: What I realized is hits different is from the Vault
Speaker 1: of Midnights, okay, And then the other one is I
Speaker 1: don't even know where You're losing me?
Speaker 3: You're losing me? Is I don't know.
Speaker 2: It was just it was kind of what The Lakes
Speaker 2: was for.
Speaker 1: But the Lakes you can find on iTunes. This one
Speaker 1: is just originally.
Speaker 2: It was on just a CD originally and then she
Speaker 2: eventually put it on.
Speaker 3: How much longer is she gonna make us?
Speaker 2: Way? No? But listen the fact that she got people
Speaker 2: to download a digital copy from her website. I don't
Speaker 2: even know where it is on my phone anymore. I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 3: I only have the link you sent me. That's the
Speaker 3: only thing I've been listening to.
Speaker 2: That's I need to go back to that and find
Speaker 2: it because I can't find it in my drop box
Speaker 2: that's where it's living. It's been crazy. But the fact
Speaker 2: that she has the power to get people to do
Speaker 2: that or to like go to the storm. But who
Speaker 2: has a CD player? Not me? I don't have. I
Speaker 2: don't you probably have? Like the first Yeah, I imagine
Speaker 2: Easton has a room full of like relics of is
Speaker 2: that a good word? Thank you so much.
Speaker 4: I like a lot of dumb old stuff. So I
Speaker 4: have a lot stuff, but I'm the only one. Our
Speaker 4: friends have to borrow our CD drive. You borrowed it
Speaker 4: at one point. Yeah, so if anyone needs a CD drive,
Speaker 4: I got it.
Speaker 2: But what do you like?
Speaker 3: What do you use it for?
Speaker 4: Old stuff?
Speaker 3: I cannot get a regular basis, right.
Speaker 4: No, I mean I usually just rip it onto the
Speaker 4: computer and then I can play on my phone.
Speaker 6: Well that's why I used it, right, so I could
Speaker 6: make digital copies of DVDs.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well can you do this for the Taylor Swift
Speaker 3: song for us?
Speaker 4: Yes, I made a video for back on how to
Speaker 4: load it into her Apple Music.
Speaker 2: But that means I have to get on That means
Speaker 2: I have to get on.
Speaker 4: My on your computer computer.
Speaker 2: Honestly, my computer is essentially like it got used for
Speaker 2: Zoom during the pandemic, and that's the most it's ever
Speaker 2: been used. I just do everything on my phone. Don't
Speaker 2: say that tracks I know what the title of this
Speaker 2: episode is, Okay, I don't know the others as much
Speaker 2: as I know. You're losing me because I don't think
Speaker 2: I've ever listened to a song one. Yeah, it's the Karma, Oh,
Speaker 2: it's snow on the Beach with Morlana del Rey Hits Different,
Speaker 2: and then uh Karmel with Ice Spice.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm just going with Hits Different because that's like
Speaker 1: the one that we haven't heard before.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, well what do you think about that song?
Speaker 2: Any theories on it? Oh?
Speaker 3: Theories like who is it about? I think they're both
Speaker 3: about Joe.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, here's what I thought. How long ago do
Speaker 2: you think she and Joe broke up?
Speaker 3: That I haven't hypothesized.
Speaker 2: Because there is a theory that Midnights is a breakup album.
Speaker 3: Well, she told us what Midnights was.
Speaker 1: It's a compilation of her sleepless midnights across her life.
Speaker 2: I still think that's what it is. Like, I think
Speaker 2: it's about like a lot of different things. Yeah, but
Speaker 2: there's rumors like, oh, this confirms that it's a breakup album.
Speaker 2: But I don't really think.
Speaker 1: That, no, because I do think Vigilante was written about
Speaker 1: somebody else, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I believed myself.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I appreciate it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. The song You're Losing Me might be one of
Speaker 2: my favorite songs of her she's ever written.
Speaker 3: I agree.
Speaker 1: If you're not choose me, You're Losing me is quite
Speaker 1: possibly the best lyric I've ever heard in my life.
Speaker 2: The bridge where she's like, do something, babe, say something.
Speaker 2: It's like she's begging, begging, begging to.
Speaker 1: Be chosen, to be chosen. She just wants to be chosen.
Speaker 1: And why is Joe not choosing her?
Speaker 2: When she's like, do something, babe, risk something like, she's like,
Speaker 2: just anything.
Speaker 3: Yes, So I think she wanted to get married.
Speaker 1: They were together for six years, right, and he was
Speaker 1: holding out for some reason.
Speaker 3: He was not choosing her. That's the ultimate choosing, right.
Speaker 2: Choosing to marry Yeah, I guess, I mean, if that's
Speaker 2: what the other person wants.
Speaker 1: Well, they were in a relationship, so she was being
Speaker 1: chosen somewhat, but she wasn't getting the ultimate choosing, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean.
Speaker 6: Yeah, But some argue that it's the opposite. It's the
Speaker 6: couples that don't get married long term that are consciously
Speaker 6: choosing each other each day because they are not required
Speaker 6: to be.
Speaker 2: There legally, right, there's no legal bind Well anyways.
Speaker 3: This is just my own hypothesis.
Speaker 2: And when she says I wouldn't marry me either, a
Speaker 2: pathological people, please, sir, I know.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 2: Who only wanted you to see her and I'm screaming
Speaker 2: out or something, do something, babe. The whole time I
Speaker 2: was listening to the song, I was like, Oh, I
Speaker 2: love this, I love this. And when I got to
Speaker 2: the bridge, I was like, she's the queen of the bridge.
Speaker 2: She is the king of the bridge.
Speaker 5: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is pretty. It is pretty remarkable.
Speaker 1: How I just feel like that sentiment in itself is
Speaker 1: so universal.
Speaker 3: It's so crazy to me that she has felt that.
Speaker 2: I something about that. I don't know if I obviously
Speaker 2: feel sad that she experienced it, but I'm also like
Speaker 2: so validated that Taylor Swift is begging to be chosen
Speaker 2: like she is like us. The significance of Taylor Swift
Speaker 2: is the biggest pop star of our I would say
Speaker 2: of our generation. Right.
Speaker 3: And also, here's my question.
Speaker 2: By far?
Speaker 1: Was he not choosing her? Was he going to choose her?
Speaker 1: He just wasn't choosing her at the pace at which
Speaker 1: she needed to be chosen.
Speaker 2: Oh but like six years, Like how long has she
Speaker 2: been asking him to choose? That's the question. You want
Speaker 2: to know? What else is crazy? We don't even know
Speaker 2: if this is about Joe. I think it is well,
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, we'll never know.
Speaker 6: Have you found that songs hit different now that she
Speaker 6: has broken up with Joe, Like when I hear New
Speaker 6: Year's Eve, I think to myself, he did it. He
Speaker 6: became a stranger who's last you would recognize anywhere.
Speaker 2: That line is like one of the most soul crushing lines.
Speaker 2: New Year's Eve has some heartbreaking lines in there. That song,
Speaker 2: that's a great one. But also like when I when
Speaker 2: I hear when I hear your losing Me, the melody
Speaker 2: reminds me of Labyrinth and that that transition from oh no,
Speaker 2: I'm falling in love again to just say some do something,
Speaker 2: They've say something.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: The concept of being chosen is fairly new to me
Speaker 1: because I worked on this interesting I worked on I
Speaker 1: worked through this in therapy because there was a point.
Speaker 1: Obviously Robbie and I are on the same page now
Speaker 1: in terms of our future, what we want, where we're going.
Speaker 1: You know that the pace of it is whenever we've
Speaker 1: never been in sync with But I don't think two
Speaker 1: people really are at.
Speaker 3: Every point in their relationship.
Speaker 1: But I remember when we were going through that phase
Speaker 1: of just like it was important to me to know
Speaker 1: that we were on the same page, like we were
Speaker 1: gonna be engaged, going to be married, like all that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff coming in the future. And I was
Speaker 1: trying to like reason with myself, not like trying to
Speaker 1: figure out for myself why was it so important? Like
Speaker 1: why is it so import I mean, like you were saying,
Speaker 1: a lot of people say, even just going your whole life,
Speaker 1: not being married, is more of a commitment because you're
Speaker 1: choosing every day to be with that person. So I
Speaker 1: was like, he's choosing me every day. We're in a relationship,
Speaker 1: But why do I want the ultimate? Like and that,
Speaker 1: And when my therapist said, like you want to be chosen,
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 5: Like, whoa.
Speaker 1: It was such a crazy concept that had never been
Speaker 1: brought to me like that way before. So the fact
Speaker 1: that Taylor wrote this song and something that I'm like
Speaker 1: newly discovered, you know what I mean, the last year
Speaker 1: of my life is so crazy to me.
Speaker 2: I just had this too. I'm just realizing this too,
Speaker 2: like how important it is. I just feel like we
Speaker 2: are with Taylor, We're all going through the same thing.
Speaker 2: Life is a little different for all of us, right,
Speaker 2: it looks a little different, right.
Speaker 1: He has like a PJ and I have like a
Speaker 1: PET and I have a Ford Bronco. Right, but you
Speaker 1: know we in this thing. Yeah, we're doing the same thing.
Speaker 1: We're walking the same walk of life.
Speaker 2: We're experiencing the motions, the depth, the depth. Yeah, wow,
Speaker 2: it was just incredible. I don't know if it's I
Speaker 2: think it's a popular opinion, but I don't love the
Speaker 2: Karma remix.
Speaker 5: But I know it's it's it's pointless.
Speaker 2: I just feel like.
Speaker 3: I've never liked any of her remixes. Honestly, I don't
Speaker 3: like remixes in general.
Speaker 5: I don't get the point.
Speaker 6: Of really re releasing a song with some other popular
Speaker 6: artists contributing a verse because it's just the same words.
Speaker 6: But I don't get it because what they do is
Speaker 6: added Beyonce to that song.
Speaker 1: Because what people want to do is when their song
Speaker 1: is doing well, let's say on the radio, and it's
Speaker 1: losing steam, if they add someone else onto it, it
Speaker 1: kind of breathes a new life and then it can
Speaker 1: pick back up and they can maybe get it further
Speaker 1: and further up the chart.
Speaker 2: That's why they do it.
Speaker 3: If the song is like on the radio, Yeah, what.
Speaker 5: Did Bieber inflict himself upon.
Speaker 6: Remember there's a song that was perfectly fine then b
Speaker 6: bre to throw himself all over.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that was a hit with him.
Speaker 1: I feel it was something that was really popular, but
Speaker 1: really Eilish.
Speaker 5: It was really eilsh Yeah it was. Was it bad guy? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think so. I don't remember, but you're right. It
Speaker 3: was very pointless, very pointless.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but she was like obsessed with him. That
Speaker 2: was her dream. But I think that was a Billie
Speaker 2: Eilish preference.
Speaker 5: It was.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, I just couldn't be happier to have that song.
Speaker 2: I would like for her to have it on a
Speaker 2: so I could just put on a little playlist to Spotify.
Speaker 1: But I've been listening to hits different a lot because
Speaker 1: it's on my iTunes.
Speaker 3: But losing me, So are they not on Spotify?
Speaker 5: Is that the issue?
Speaker 2: You're losing me is not? Because it was a bonus
Speaker 2: for the CD. Got it and then and then people
Speaker 2: were I mean, honestly, Swifties are crazy. They were adding
Speaker 2: it as a playlist onto Spotify so that you could
Speaker 2: listen to it on Spotify as a playlist, and then
Speaker 2: I think it got taken down. Listen you're not gonna
Speaker 2: get past Taylor Slip's team when it comes to copyright infringement. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: you're not.
Speaker 1: But Taylor should also be gracious enough to just you
Speaker 1: will give it you us.
Speaker 2: I think she will soon.
Speaker 6: I'm so fascinated by the whole I don't remember an
Speaker 6: artist being this enormous like she is at this particular
Speaker 6: point in time. Like, yes, plenty of bands in arts
Speaker 6: have played stadiums before, but playing so many shows at
Speaker 6: a stadium and tickets are still for two grand apiece
Speaker 6: because you can't find them, like yeah, And the fact
Speaker 6: that thousands of people show up outside the stadium to
Speaker 6: sing along to her songs.
Speaker 5: I don't remember this happening and I've been alive for
Speaker 5: a long time.
Speaker 1: The fact that people wearing diapers not to go, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, I just throw some period panties on a
Speaker 1: call of to day.
Speaker 3: Those things can hold some liquid.
Speaker 2: You know. I'm devastated by that. Yeah, I was thinking
Speaker 2: the same thing, like, I just don't know if there
Speaker 2: ever will be someone who does what she does or
Speaker 2: what she's been able to do in this like this
Speaker 2: particular time of her life.
Speaker 5: And she's buying all typical career arcs.
Speaker 6: You know, typically album it builds, it builds, and maybe
Speaker 6: it starts to back down a little bit at a
Speaker 6: certain point. And that's what I kind of thought might
Speaker 6: have been happening with Folklore and Evermore because they weren't
Speaker 6: such big radio friendly songs. And now she's bigger than
Speaker 6: ever before, which is not how this normally goes. You
Speaker 6: normally zoomed to the top, and it's kind of a
Speaker 6: slower fade where she's just getting bigger and bigger. And
Speaker 6: by this time ten years from now, I don't know
Speaker 6: she'd be president because it just gets larger and larger.
Speaker 2: It does.
Speaker 3: It just gets larger and larger.
Speaker 2: She has my vote.
Speaker 3: She has my vote too, and Taylor we trust.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Wow, should we do some emails?
Speaker 2: I think we should do some emails.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he looks really good today.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. That's so kind. We'll be right
Speaker 2: back with email. All right, before we start emails. I
Speaker 2: forgot I wanted to talk about this. So I saw
Speaker 2: this TikTok and Breneo Brown was on it or yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know what podcast it was, but she was
Speaker 2: on a podcast. I'll try to find it. And she
Speaker 2: was talking about how she doesn't believe that relationships are
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty. She was like, I just don't think
Speaker 2: it's realistic to expect that both partners are able to
Speaker 2: be at one hundred percent at all times or be
Speaker 2: able to give the same amount every single day type thing.
Speaker 2: So she's like, sometimes at night, my husband and I like,
Speaker 2: he'll say I'm at twenty today, and she's like, I'm good,
Speaker 2: I got you. I'm at eighty, Like I got your
Speaker 2: eighty covered, Like I can match you where you need right,
Speaker 2: And then she was saying like, sometimes if we're both
Speaker 2: at a low number, like I'm at ten and he's like, well,
Speaker 2: I'm at twenty, it's like, how can we show up
Speaker 2: for each other in a kind way knowing that we
Speaker 2: don't have you know enough to feel where you're struggling.
Speaker 2: I thought that was really interesting because I feel like
Speaker 2: it every time. I feel like I've always heard relationships
Speaker 2: are fifty to fifty. You show up, you're fifty percent.
Speaker 2: The other person shows up with they're fifty percent.
Speaker 1: To me, I feel like that got debunked recently, and
Speaker 1: it's like, now it's one hundred and one hundred.
Speaker 3: Each person has to be giving a hundred.
Speaker 2: Okay, right, so whatever it is, each person giving a hundred,
Speaker 2: whatever it is, the idea is that we're we shouldn't
Speaker 2: be expected to be at our highest best every single day.
Speaker 2: And then it's okay if like both people are feeling
Speaker 2: like I have nothing, Like I'm I don't have enough
Speaker 2: to give to myself and to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but how do.
Speaker 2: We do it in a way that's not gonna hurt
Speaker 2: the other?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Or going to constriction? I know, I thought it was
Speaker 2: interesting too, and a lot of people in the comments
Speaker 2: are going to like, uh, like nah, and then people
Speaker 2: are like, oh, this is really good, and I thought
Speaker 2: I'm going to bring this to the podcast.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think that it is interesting.
Speaker 1: I always, you know, I like to be positive and
Speaker 1: look at the bright side and have that go get
Speaker 1: or energy.
Speaker 3: And I really feel like I've met my match.
Speaker 1: And Robbie because he really brings it tenfold even when
Speaker 1: he's got like so much stuff going on in his
Speaker 1: own life, Like he can be there for me in
Speaker 1: a way that I could never be for him if
Speaker 1: I had that stuff going on in my life, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like it's pretty remarkable, and
Speaker 1: so it makes me want to be better because he's
Speaker 1: that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So like even if you don't have it, if
Speaker 2: he can match you, it almost like because I feel
Speaker 2: like sometimes if your partner is able to give to
Speaker 2: you and fill up your tank or whatever it is,
Speaker 2: it almost it gives you the energy to show up. Yeah,
Speaker 2: a little more than maybe you had before.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: You know, but when you're both feeling down, like have
Speaker 2: you and Robbie ever both been down at the same time,
Speaker 2: We're like you didn't feel it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But but like when he's down, he can have perspective,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and be like, yes, we're
Speaker 1: feeling this way, but this is just a storm, Like
Speaker 1: this is just temporary. Like there, this is we're not
Speaker 1: seeing the forest through the trees. And I'm like, you're right,
Speaker 1: so right, this is temporary.
Speaker 2: Not seeing the forest.
Speaker 5: Through the trees, not see the forest for the trees.
Speaker 3: The expression, Oh not tracks, you're.
Speaker 5: Not seeing the big picture. You're only focused on what's
Speaker 5: right in front of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, So like that's what I can do,
Speaker 1: Like I can focus on just what's right in front
Speaker 1: of me, and he can focus on the big picture.
Speaker 2: Oh that's nice. That's a good uh, balance.
Speaker 3: Tell me it's necessary at times.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I do feel like you met your match in that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: because like even you posted something about like you woke
Speaker 2: up not feeling you felt sanzy, and I was like,
Speaker 2: let's go yeah literally.
Speaker 3: Yes, yesterday? Was it yesterday? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I woke up kind of sanzy vibes. I'd I went
Speaker 1: gluttonous the night before, just full gluten, just glu down
Speaker 1: with pizza toe, pizza toes, pierreline cookie.
Speaker 3: Yeah it isn't full blown gluten.
Speaker 1: So anyways, I woke up Sunday feeling kind of like
Speaker 1: groggy and out of it, and Robbie woke up with
Speaker 1: this attitude of like, let's get it good.
Speaker 3: You know, he does this whole thing.
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna book
Speaker 1: my workout class and once hert to class.
Speaker 3: Wow, yeah that's great. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I don't even think the most encouraging hype person could
Speaker 2: do that for me personally, But I'm happy that you
Speaker 2: have found you.
Speaker 5: Lack is to try Sunday morning, give you.
Speaker 1: A definitely not on Sunday morning, little voice note to
Speaker 1: pump you up.
Speaker 2: Definitely not on a Sunday morning. That's not gonna happen
Speaker 2: all right. I would try a weekday if you were
Speaker 2: gonna try it, but I also don't recommend. Shall I
Speaker 2: get into emails?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 6: I feel bad for this first one. This is the
Speaker 6: kind of guy we've talked about before. It's so anonymous.
Speaker 5: She says.
Speaker 6: I'm thirty two, married seven years, with two kids five
Speaker 6: and under. My husband has always had two Instagrams.
Speaker 5: Since we met.
Speaker 6: At the beginning, I found him messaging other girls for
Speaker 6: pictures and saving pictures of other girls. Years ago, I
Speaker 6: found out his second Instagram was just to follow hot
Speaker 6: chicks essentially. That was the second time after calling out
Speaker 6: his made instagram previously, he made an excuse I never
Speaker 6: should have believed, And looking back now, I wish I
Speaker 6: was stronger to call off the relationship long ago.
Speaker 5: But here I am.
Speaker 6: He's always scrolling, He's always on his phone. He always
Speaker 6: makes sure it's with him, even when he's in the shower,
Speaker 6: it's right there next to him. I've looked multiple times recently,
Speaker 6: and this is what he's following, thirst trap girl after
Speaker 6: thirst trap girl. It's his whole scroll, his whole search page.
Speaker 6: I can only imagine what else there is. Do I
Speaker 6: keep putting this off like it's a guy thing. Do
Speaker 6: I get therapy or do I get out? It clearly
Speaker 6: has affected me, like body keeps the score type stuff.
Speaker 6: I don't find him attractive. I don't want him to
Speaker 6: touch me. Can we come back from this? After years
Speaker 6: and years of him doing this, I don't see him changing.
Speaker 2: My instinct gut reaction is get out. I feel like
Speaker 2: it's constant disrespect after disrespect, like it. It feels like
Speaker 2: this is a character thing, like Tony always talks about
Speaker 2: character and I don't think this is a guy thing.
Speaker 2: I think guy sure, they like looking at hot girls,
Speaker 2: and I think this is a common issue of like
Speaker 2: men liking or following girls. But I think the fact
Speaker 2: that you have called him out on it and made
Speaker 2: it clear that you're uncomfortable with it and it's still
Speaker 2: going on, is just he has no respect for you
Speaker 2: or what hurts you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you said he made an excuse. I never
Speaker 1: should have believed so For me, I feel like if
Speaker 1: you you've already brought this up, that it really bothers you.
Speaker 1: And I think in a relationship, if you bring something
Speaker 1: up that is really bothering you, that's something like this,
Speaker 1: Like let's say, like, there's some things that you can't change,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, there are things that
Speaker 1: you can't change about a person, if they're physical or
Speaker 1: if they're you know, like there are but something like
Speaker 1: this he can or he can work to a compromise,
Speaker 1: Like if it's really hurting your feelings, he should be
Speaker 1: able to figure some out. That's a compromise where he
Speaker 1: feels like he's still being true to himself, which.
Speaker 3: I don't know whatever that is.
Speaker 1: But also I don't know, I don't know why he
Speaker 1: likes looking at this, like I have no idea, but
Speaker 1: I'm saying. What I'm saying is like he's not even
Speaker 1: trying to compromise. He's coming up with an excuse.
Speaker 2: I don't think this is a compromise situation.
Speaker 1: And if it's really bothering you and he's making up excuses,
Speaker 1: it's only going to get worse over time.
Speaker 6: I feel like I know this guy, you know him
Speaker 6: kinda Yeah, this guy was told by his parents his
Speaker 6: whole life that he is God's gift, the greatest thing
Speaker 6: in the world, which happens to so many guys whose
Speaker 6: moms treat them like on a pedestal, and so they
Speaker 6: get out into the world, and their feeling is, hey,
Speaker 6: that's just who I am. Take it or leave it
Speaker 6: because I'm awesome. Right, They don't see they're incredibly flawed people.
Speaker 6: But they don't see the flaws because they've been told
Speaker 6: their whole lives they don't have them. So when they're
Speaker 6: dating someone or married to someone, they're like, take me
Speaker 6: or leave me. This is who I am. As if
Speaker 6: it's like, sorry, I don't like red sauce on spaghetti
Speaker 6: or something silly like that, but it's not silly. So
Speaker 6: what he needs to you need to make this clear
Speaker 6: to him. And I do feel like you're telling him
Speaker 6: I don't find you attractive anymore. I don't want you
Speaker 6: to touch me. I want this to stop. As a
Speaker 6: major blow to him, and it's going to cause problems
Speaker 6: at first because he's going to fight that and think
Speaker 6: you're wrong and you're a bee and all kinds of
Speaker 6: other stuff, and he's probably going to spend time by himself.
Speaker 5: But it's going to get into his head. He's going
Speaker 5: to figure out that this is disrespectful to you.
Speaker 6: Sometimes it takes a major thing to get it through
Speaker 6: a guy's head that this is disrespectful because they don't
Speaker 6: see it that way.
Speaker 5: I don't know that he would ever cheat on you.
Speaker 5: He may not.
Speaker 6: He may see this as absolutely harmless. But if he
Speaker 6: understands that, how would he feel if you had nothing
Speaker 6: but guys in speedo's on your Instagram?
Speaker 5: I don't think he would like that.
Speaker 2: Well, we're not. I don't think anybody.
Speaker 6: You're right, it's different. You're right, it's totally different, But
Speaker 6: the guys don't see it that way. Guys wouldn't want
Speaker 6: dong photos all over your instagram.
Speaker 5: He just wouldn't. But maybe it's not a good comparison.
Speaker 5: I don't know. But he needs to.
Speaker 6: We need to get us through his head that this
Speaker 6: is Defcon five. We are in an emergency situation. You
Speaker 6: no longer want to sleep with him, and you are
Speaker 6: ready to leave. You are writing emails for podcasts on
Speaker 6: what do I do? Should I end my marriage? He
Speaker 6: needs to know we are at an urgent situation because
Speaker 6: this could end nowhere in his mind as you think
Speaker 6: this could end. He needs to know that it's possible
Speaker 6: and maybe he'll figure it out.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean he's been able to get away with
Speaker 2: it for a long time with no repercussions.
Speaker 5: Yes, with every one of his exes.
Speaker 1: I sound him messaging other girls for pictures and saving
Speaker 1: pictures of other girls, Like that's.
Speaker 2: Bad, it was good.
Speaker 5: No, I don't know these girls. I just message them.
Speaker 5: They don't meet them. Yeah, I send you pictures. It's
Speaker 5: just pictures. What's the difference.
Speaker 2: I just think it's like you look.
Speaker 6: At chatting Terry to me think he's hot. It's totally
Speaker 6: the same thing. Guys can justify all of it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm telling you.
Speaker 6: It takes guys forever to mature, but eventually we do.
Speaker 6: It takes forever. I'm sorry, it takes forever.
Speaker 5: It sucks. Eventually he will, and I hope it's not
Speaker 5: too late.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think get out before that.
Speaker 1: No, it's so it just sucks because it's obviously affecting
Speaker 1: you in such a big way, and he's clearly not
Speaker 1: getting to him.
Speaker 2: It's it's just that, you know, life is so short
Speaker 2: and it's precious, and we so many I feel like
Speaker 2: so many people settle for something that is so you
Speaker 2: can bleep me shitty because they feel like it's going
Speaker 2: to get or I don't want to start over, or
Speaker 2: I don't want my kids to be affected. But why
Speaker 2: should you spend your life with someone who disrespects you
Speaker 2: to this level just for fear of having to start over?
Speaker 2: Like there is a wonderful person out there who is
Speaker 2: probably so willing to not even have social media, that
Speaker 2: might not even think about looking at thirstrap photos, and
Speaker 2: you deserve that. So it's like I get it, Like
Speaker 2: you're married, you have kids, and you're like, can I
Speaker 2: work this out? But also like, don't spend your whole
Speaker 2: life with someone who can even like respect The simple
Speaker 2: act of not following thirst traps.
Speaker 6: The kids are another angle that you could use with him,
Speaker 6: like how would you do you want the kids to
Speaker 6: have divorced parents?
Speaker 5: Do you want the kids? By the way, is that
Speaker 5: the image you want to be in your kid's eyes?
Speaker 5: What if your kids?
Speaker 6: He doesn't say if it's a boy or girl, but
Speaker 6: you want your daughter to see on your Instagram they
Speaker 6: have nothing but bikini photos.
Speaker 5: Is that the man you want her to see?
Speaker 6: When we started the Almost Famous podcast, we had bachelor
Speaker 6: people in every week, so I would and back then
Speaker 6: I was doing the prep and so I would go
Speaker 6: on Instagram, get pictures of them and put it on
Speaker 6: the prep for Ben and Ashley to see a little
Speaker 6: behind the scenes here. It's like, oh, you know so
Speaker 6: and so, and there's a picture of her. But all
Speaker 6: I was doing on Instagram because I'm not very much
Speaker 6: is looking at women on the Bachelor of Women. So
Speaker 6: one day I want my for you page and it
Speaker 6: was nothing but Bachelor women in bikini. It's like, oh
Speaker 6: my god, that's not me, and I don't want to
Speaker 6: be seen as that guy. I don't want my wife
Speaker 6: to see that. I want my kids to see that.
Speaker 6: So I just got off Instagram for a while because
Speaker 6: I don't want.
Speaker 5: That to be me. Yeah, he needs to think of
Speaker 5: it from his kids perspective too. You don't want to
Speaker 5: be that guy.
Speaker 2: I think you and this guy are very different.
Speaker 6: We are now, but I used to be that guy.
Speaker 6: I know i'm and that's hard for me to admit,
Speaker 6: but I used to be that guy. I did whatever
Speaker 6: I wanted and I was just like, everything's gonna be
Speaker 6: fine because I'm awesome. I'm very embarrassed and humiliated about
Speaker 6: the guy I was in my twenties that my wife met.
Speaker 6: I've apologized for a million times. I can't believe she
Speaker 6: married that guy. She never should have because he.
Speaker 5: Was a dick. And this guy's a dick. But he'll
Speaker 5: get through it, but it might be too late.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yikes. Anyway, regardless, Anonymous, you deserve more whatever you deserve,
Speaker 2: whenever you choose, whether HiT's him working on himself and
Speaker 2: getting better or you getting out and finding someone better,
Speaker 2: you deserve better.
Speaker 3: That's what you deserve better. There's a Megan Trainer song
Speaker 3: shows into It's very good.
Speaker 5: Good.
Speaker 3: You deserve better.
Speaker 6: Yeah, one more Anonymous. I know Becka's talked on the
Speaker 6: podcast about couple's therapy with Haley, and I'm hoping she
Speaker 6: can speak more about the benefits she saw from it.
Speaker 6: I feel like my boyfriend and I've been bickering NonStop
Speaker 6: about small things. How do you start couples therapy without
Speaker 6: it feeling like the beginning of the end or a
Speaker 6: last ditch effort. I feel like we would benefit from it,
Speaker 6: but I'm afraid it will feel like we're admitting defeat.
Speaker 5: That's a really good question.
Speaker 2: I think it really is. And to be honest, when
Speaker 2: we for Haley is the one who brought up couple therapy,
Speaker 2: and I was like, so, basically, our relationship is over,
Speaker 2: Like couples therapy to me meant like this is the end,
Speaker 2: like the beginning of the end, And it was actually
Speaker 2: the opposite because I our issue Haley and I, just
Speaker 2: in a broad way of describing it, is that we
Speaker 2: communicate very differently, so like we see things differently. We
Speaker 2: have different perspectives on certain things, and so when we argue,
Speaker 2: it's like I think that I'm right and she thinks
Speaker 2: that she's right, just because we see the world differently,
Speaker 2: and so couple therapy was just a way for us
Speaker 2: to learn how to communicate that was productive as opposed
Speaker 2: to getting into a place where I, at the time
Speaker 2: was very avoidant and would shut down and like one
Speaker 2: want to talk about things, and then she would like
Speaker 2: push me up against the wall be like I need
Speaker 2: to talk about it. I want to talk about it.
Speaker 2: So it was like getting to a place where we
Speaker 2: were able to honor each other's like what we needed
Speaker 2: in those moments, but also have productive conversations that we're
Speaker 2: able to get to a place of like just understanding
Speaker 2: each other a little bit better. But I for me
Speaker 2: when I agreed to do it, because I genuinely was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I guess this is the end, if we're having to
Speaker 2: go to couple therapy. I was like, well, at least
Speaker 2: if we end, I can be like we did everything
Speaker 2: we could. So I think sometimes I could think couple therapy,
Speaker 2: Like for Haley and I, it's been very beneficial and
Speaker 2: helped us a lot. And I think sometimes maybe couple
Speaker 2: therapy you get into it and maybe it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: we're not compatible, or like we can't get to a
Speaker 2: place where we can make this work. But I think
Speaker 2: either way, it's such a it's such a helpful way
Speaker 2: to learn about each other and also have someone who's
Speaker 2: not biased towards either person, who can help navigate and
Speaker 2: see it from a different perspective.
Speaker 1: And even if that seems too daunting for you to do,
Speaker 1: like couples therapy, maybe even encouraging your partner to do
Speaker 1: therapy on their own and you do therapy on your own,
Speaker 1: because I think that therapy in general has just been
Speaker 1: so eye opening for me, because I think everybody kind
Speaker 1: of has that complex of like I'm amazing.
Speaker 3: I have all the answers. I know what I'm doing,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like we all have.
Speaker 1: We all think what we do and how we live
Speaker 1: our lives is the best way because that's how we
Speaker 1: live it and it's just not the case. And I
Speaker 1: think a therapist can really open your eyes to that
Speaker 1: because I think for me.
Speaker 3: Specifically, I had this like.
Speaker 1: Pie in the sky vision of what like love, relationship,
Speaker 1: marriage was, you know, like it was that image that
Speaker 1: we see on TV the white horse and he's going
Speaker 1: to put the glass slipper on my foot and it's
Speaker 1: going to be this fairy tale. And so when we
Speaker 1: had to start dealing with like really hard things, like
Speaker 1: things that just happen in life, I couldn't like raptionalize
Speaker 1: with it. I couldn't understand it. I was just like, no,
Speaker 1: it's not supposed to be hard. It's not supposed to
Speaker 1: be like this. It's supposed to be easy. Relationships are
Speaker 1: supposed to be your oasis. This is not supposed to
Speaker 1: be something that we work on or work through. And
Speaker 1: so that was like very life changing for me to
Speaker 1: kind of open my eyes and see it through that way.
Speaker 1: So I feel like, maybe if you don't want to
Speaker 1: go to couple's therapy quite yet, maybe you guys can
Speaker 1: both just do your own individual therapy and you can
Speaker 1: get there too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's good advice.
Speaker 6: It's I used to think the same thing. Why would
Speaker 6: anybody dating go to couple therapy just break up? It's fine, somebody,
Speaker 6: you don't beat therapy with it. I totally I've done
Speaker 6: a full one eighty on it.
Speaker 5: I get it.
Speaker 6: It's about learning to communicate with each Yeah, because any
Speaker 6: two humans are just different people. And like you said,
Speaker 6: you think your way is the best way and everything's great,
Speaker 6: and they do too, and so that's where naturally conflict, right, yes, yeah,
Speaker 6: and this helps you deal with conflict.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I will say, like it'll be like Haley
Speaker 2: stands on something in mine and we're both like our
Speaker 2: heels are dug in, Like neither one of us is
Speaker 2: changing how we feel. But it's like, how do we
Speaker 2: get to a place where we go Okay, I see
Speaker 2: why you feel that way, or you see how I
Speaker 2: feel that way. And yeah, I used to think the
Speaker 2: same thing, couple couple stadium, Like damn, if you all
Speaker 2: are already in.
Speaker 3: Break up, if you have a problem like break up,
Speaker 3: you're not in it, you know. But it's true. It's
Speaker 3: like again, you could do that.
Speaker 1: You could break when things get hard, you could break
Speaker 1: up and you're gonna date somebody else and then things
Speaker 1: are gonna get hard again, you know. But it's not
Speaker 1: even like it doesn't even be something so hard. It
Speaker 1: could just be like lifestuck, you know. Like I remember
Speaker 1: when we first started kind of integrating and I was
Speaker 1: living more at Robbie's house. The way we live is
Speaker 1: very different in terms of just like cleanliness and you know,
Speaker 1: like things like that, and with kids involved. I never
Speaker 1: had kids involved in where I lived, so it was
Speaker 1: like a really having to like hear him out.
Speaker 3: He needed to hear me out. And then we came
Speaker 3: to a compromise, you know, and it's like neither one
Speaker 3: of us is right or wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just the way we prefer.
Speaker 1: To live, and we came to like a good middle
Speaker 1: ground with it, you know. So it's just like hearing
Speaker 1: each other out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, speaking of you moved to the.
Speaker 3: Office movement, dude, that was a big deal.
Speaker 2: The stude has been moved a big move in the relationship. Yes,
Speaker 2: you've been preparing that space for a while now.
Speaker 1: Yes, I've been, yes, digging my heels, but I felt
Speaker 1: like I'm taking advantage of this week.
Speaker 3: We have.
Speaker 1: Have some downtime with the morning show to actually like
Speaker 1: have my studio moved.
Speaker 3: So I did it. I moved all the pieces last Weekend.
Speaker 1: Tubs is coming into my house tomorrow to set it
Speaker 1: all up and we're gonna be up and running.
Speaker 2: Congrats the wi fi set up.
Speaker 3: The WiFi is set up. Yeah, yeah, we're here. Here,
Speaker 3: we are.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 3: I haven't officially moved yet.
Speaker 1: I still have my place, but yeah, yeah, yeah, just
Speaker 1: the studio.
Speaker 3: Dude, the stude has moved.
Speaker 2: We have a Thursday episode, Yes, we do. Do you
Speaker 2: want to talk about him?
Speaker 1: I'm very pumped because you know, he's no stranger to
Speaker 1: the o R. He's been in ther before, but never
Speaker 1: in person like this, and I just find him to
Speaker 1: be such a inspiring, captivating, well rounded human being. And
Speaker 1: I'm really pumped that Devon Franklin is going to be
Speaker 1: joining us.
Speaker 3: Fellow author.
Speaker 1: I remember, actually I was when we were going to
Speaker 1: get our endorsements for the book. Devon is somebody that
Speaker 1: I've really admired, especially in the writing space. I've read
Speaker 1: most of all of his books, and so he's just
Speaker 1: somebody that I really, I really his endorsement on my
Speaker 1: book was really important to me. But I was so
Speaker 1: scared to ask him because like we're not friends. We're friendly,
Speaker 1: but we're you know, we're not close by any means.
Speaker 1: And so I was so nervous and I wasn't going
Speaker 1: to do it because I was like the fear of
Speaker 1: the rejection if he like didn't respond or he didn't
Speaker 1: want to do it, you know, Like I was like
Speaker 1: just going down that path. And he was so gracious
Speaker 1: and was so excited to do it, and so like
Speaker 1: his reaction to that made me love him even more.
Speaker 1: So that was like really nice.
Speaker 2: Well, I'm so excited to meet him in person. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So we'll be back Thursday with Devon Franklin and we
Speaker 2: hope you have a wonderful week and we love you.
Speaker 2: Somebody love you. Bye bye.
Speaker 1: M m hm