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Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya rap An iHeartRadio podcast.

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Speaker 2: Hello, everybody, we are scrubbing in.

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Speaker 3: It's been a minute.

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Speaker 2: It has been a minute because we did pre recorded

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Speaker 2: shows and this is an actual Monday fun day.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, afreshy as they say.

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Speaker 2: I don't know who says that, but somebody.

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Speaker 1: Referenced the term for oh it's Teddy Mellencamp. Oh, but

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Speaker 1: it was something totally different. But she called him ssh

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Speaker 1: and I was like, I like that term. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: we'll adopt that for today.

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Speaker 3: Another thing that I learned over the weekend is it tracks.

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Speaker 2: That's like if something makes sense at tracks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's something the kids are saying these days.

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Speaker 2: I feel that's been around for a minute.

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Speaker 1: Oh really, Yeah, that's not new. Uh huh, it's new

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Speaker 1: to me. That's good though. Yeah, you start hearing me

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Speaker 1: say that that.

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Speaker 2: They say, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Are you doing I'm doing good? How are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm good?

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Speaker 3: You just got home yesterday?

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Speaker 2: I did. I spent a full week in New York.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever done that. I think that's

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Speaker 2: the longest I've ever been strictly in the city of

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Speaker 2: New York.

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Speaker 3: And you and Haley are no longer long distance.

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Speaker 2: She landed like twenty minutes ago.

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Speaker 4: Wow.

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Speaker 2: God, it was rocky. It wasn't perfect, but we did it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: You know they say that the only way through, No,

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Speaker 1: the only way out, the only way out through.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, thank you. We got there. Yeah, and you went

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Speaker 3: through it.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: It was not easy. No, it was not a straight path.

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Speaker 2: It sure wasn't.

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Speaker 3: It was not.

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Speaker 1: It was quite a windy path. Uh, ups and down,

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Speaker 1: peaks and valleys.

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Speaker 3: Yes, and we're here, we're here at the finish line.

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Speaker 2: The finish line you went through I did.

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Speaker 3: Are you proud of yourself?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I would like to have handled some moments better,

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Speaker 2: but all in oh yeah, I'm proud of myself. I'm

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Speaker 2: proud of both of us because she, uh, while I

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Speaker 2: was going through it also meant she was going through it,

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Speaker 2: wow on tour. So we did it and she's back

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Speaker 2: and now she'll probably have like post tour blues, you know. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: like the come down because like you're on stage every

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Speaker 2: night with people literally chanting your name.

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Speaker 3: Right, and then she comes home and you're like.

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Speaker 2: I don't speak like that, nor do I say that

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Speaker 2: but like maybe Phoebe and I can just like imitate

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Speaker 2: an audience till she like fully comes down, you know. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So I speaking of Phoebe. I so I was gone

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Speaker 2: for a week and I go to pick her up.

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Speaker 2: She goes and hides under the bed like she did

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Speaker 2: not want to leave, which is comforting in the fact

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Speaker 2: that she loves it there. She loves it there. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but also like, damn, that's tough.

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Speaker 3: You know, it's tough.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been processing that a lot as well. I've

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Speaker 2: moved up from the Haley stuff and now I'm focusing

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Speaker 2: on the rejection from Phoebe.

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Speaker 3: So it's funny because it happens to me.

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Speaker 1: But the reverse, like when I leave Sonny, when I

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Speaker 1: leave her, I wish she was more sad to see

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Speaker 1: me go, you know, like she could care less. But

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Speaker 1: when I come home together her, when I come back together,

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Speaker 1: she's really excited. You Know.

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Speaker 2: What I think happened is that Brooks Alley's dog was there,

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Speaker 2: and he is like obsessed with me, so he came

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Speaker 2: up to me first. I was petting him when she

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Speaker 2: came up, and I think she kind of got like jealous. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like you're gonna acknowledge him first. Yeah, I'd be the same.

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Speaker 2: She's a little bit like me, so much like you.

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Speaker 1: It's so the fact that our dogs are quite literally

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Speaker 1: the doppelgangers of our own personalities.

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Speaker 3: Is pretty wild.

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Speaker 5: It is.

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Speaker 2: It's pretty good. Yeah, But New York's so fun. There's

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Speaker 2: such a fun energy there that like you don't really

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Speaker 2: find anywhere else. Do you feel that way? So?

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Speaker 1: Uh, yeah, I get what you're saying in terms of

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Speaker 1: like the buzz, but like, don't you feel tired there?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I one of the

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Speaker 2: nights we so so Hailey was there Sunday or Monday

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Speaker 2: to Wednesday, and then she went on to finish the

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Speaker 2: tour and then I hadn't booked my flight back yet,

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Speaker 2: and it was Wednesday night at Hailey show, and I

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Speaker 2: was talking to Marla and she ended up getting a

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Speaker 2: job that was in New York on like Tuesday, and

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Speaker 2: so she was like, oh my gosh, do I just

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Speaker 2: stay here or do I like go all the way

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Speaker 2: back to LA and then fly out again. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, well, I haven't booked a flight yet, so

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Speaker 2: I'm down to hang for the weekend if you want to,

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Speaker 2: And so we just decided to do it. And it

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Speaker 2: was so fun and it was fun to not have

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Speaker 2: I was telling Hanah, like to not have a schedule

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Speaker 2: of things to do. It was like we just did whatever.

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Speaker 2: So like one night we went out and we were

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Speaker 2: up like super late, and then the next night we

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Speaker 2: stayed in the room and benched a show and took

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Speaker 2: an edible and ordered pizza.

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Speaker 3: That is fun because I feel like every time I

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Speaker 3: go to New York, I a.

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Speaker 2: Ohays so but Hailey. So, Hailey's book came out, Girls

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Speaker 2: Like Girls everyone.

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Speaker 3: I got my copy in the mail, I got the.

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Speaker 2: Five copies I ordered. I have the Sunshine mine and

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Speaker 2: Girls Like Girls just like stacks of them. And then

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Speaker 2: so she went on Good Morning America, which was really cool.

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Speaker 2: And then that was a very early morning as you know,

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Speaker 2: as a fellow author.

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Speaker 3: A fellow author, Yeah, I know the grind.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like everyone around me is just like authors,

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Speaker 2: and it's so casual, you know, just drop breasts. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: dropping books left and right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, other people are dropping babies. We're dropping books.

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Speaker 1: I said, weird, y'all are dropping books. And then she

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Speaker 1: had two shows that were in uh, New York, she

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Speaker 1: sold out Irving Plaza two nights in a row, which

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Speaker 1: is really cool.

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Speaker 2: And then it was really fun. I had a great time.

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Speaker 2: And then I did a shoot. I did a magazine shoot.

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Speaker 2: I don't know how much I can talk about it,

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Speaker 2: but it's for Pride, Happy Pride Month, everybody, everybody. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was really fun and I'm I feel fine, not

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Speaker 2: exhausted as I normally do. From New York.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, wow, what'd you do?

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Speaker 2: So I went to Austin, Yeah, which I there.

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Speaker 1: I just have so many things to say, Like, I

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Speaker 1: have so many thoughts and so many things going on.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I always forget how much I enjoy

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Speaker 1: Teddy Mellencamp.

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Speaker 2: She's hilariously enjoyable to be around.

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Speaker 1: She really is, like there's always something coming out of

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Speaker 1: her mouth that just like makes me laugh.

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Speaker 3: And so I spent.

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Speaker 1: I mean it was only in Austin for twenty four hours,

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Speaker 1: but I spent, like I went. We went back after dinner,

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Speaker 1: We went back into Teddy's room and I just stayed

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Speaker 1: in there for like two and a half hours, just talking.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just till the wee hours of the morning.

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Speaker 5: And that's where Freshy came up.

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Speaker 3: That's where fresh she came up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but the hotel that we were staying in was haunted,

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Speaker 1: so like none of us wanted to go to bed,

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Speaker 1: which is why I think we all stayed up till

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Speaker 1: the wee hours of the morning.

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Speaker 3: But yeah, the hotel was haunted.

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Speaker 2: Who found out?

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Speaker 3: Uh, I don't know. I think maybe Tara figured it out.

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Speaker 1: But it's like famously known, Like it's like there's articles

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Speaker 1: online about how haunted this hotel is. I know, when

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Speaker 1: you walk in, you do not get warm, cozy vibes

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Speaker 1: at all. So I was already thrown off by the hotel,

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Speaker 1: and then when they told me it was haunted, I

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Speaker 1: was like, I'm done, Like I'm done, I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to sleep tonight.

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Speaker 3: It's fine.

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Speaker 6: So I think I guarantee you it's the power of suggestion.

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Speaker 6: For sure, I guarantee you. I would have stopped like

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Speaker 6: a baby in that hotel. I don't know what.

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Speaker 3: Baby as well.

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Speaker 2: It was just yeah, yeah, the stinch problem is haunted

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Speaker 2: or just like a bad suit. But you're so right.

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Speaker 1: If I didn't know it was haunted, I probably would

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Speaker 1: have been fine. But because I knew that it was,

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Speaker 1: I was just kind of.

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Speaker 5: Like on it, or if you didn't believe in that stuff.

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Speaker 3: I don't believe in that.

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Speaker 5: You clearly do.

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Speaker 6: If you can't sleep because of the suggestion that there's

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Speaker 6: a ghost watching you.

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Speaker 3: No, and then this is the best thing. So do

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Speaker 3: you know Christine Taylor is.

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Speaker 2: From Yeah, Ben Stiller's X.

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Speaker 3: Yes, well and Current they got back together.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, good for them.

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Speaker 3: But I I'm not sure how long.

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Speaker 5: Recent they separated.

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Speaker 3: For a while, they separated, but they never divorced.

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Speaker 2: I think I had like a she has like Jennifer

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Speaker 2: Anniston vibes.

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Speaker 1: Yes, okay, she is so lovely in person. I could

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Speaker 1: not get over it. So Ashley, I spills like an

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Speaker 1: entire cup, like this big of coffee just straight up

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Speaker 1: into her bag and it was a really nice bag,

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Speaker 1: like a really nice bag, and just got everything in there,

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Speaker 1: just drenched, and like you know, like when something like

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Speaker 1: happens like that, you can feel the person that like

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Speaker 1: build on gets tense, but they're like, you know, playing

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Speaker 1: it off, like it's okay, it's okay. She literally could

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Speaker 1: not have cared less, like could not have cared less.

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Speaker 1: It's spilled on her dress, it's stilled everywhere. She's just

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Speaker 1: wiping it down. I was like, it's that's all good,

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Speaker 1: no problem. Ashley was like mortified. I thought Ashley was dying,

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Speaker 1: but it was. She was so cool and I was

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Speaker 1: just like wow, I really was impressed by her just

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Speaker 1: in general.

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Speaker 3: I really really liked her.

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Speaker 2: Great, shall we have her on the podcast?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, well we could get her.

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Speaker 2: She hosts one of our podcasts, right, that's what she

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Speaker 2: loved to have her. I feel like she was in

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Speaker 2: the Brady Bunch, right, yeah.

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Speaker 3: She was Marsha Brady.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah that's great news. Yeah that tracks right, yeah,

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Speaker 2: that does track.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that tracks, good job, Tanya, Yeah, in tracks.

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Speaker 1: But so I really enjoyed her, and I mean everybody

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Speaker 1: there and got to see Ben, So it was fun.

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Speaker 3: It was like fun to be in Austin.

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Speaker 1: But it was weird because I wasn't there with Becca,

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Speaker 1: and like, uh, I equate it to kind of like

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Speaker 1: high school or like everybody has their kind of like clicks,

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Speaker 1: you know, because everybody was there with their podcast partner,

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Speaker 1: so it was like they had their podcast partner with them,

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Speaker 1: and then Teddy had Jenny Jenny Garth who does Nino too,

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Speaker 1: and om Gene, so like they had like their little

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Speaker 1: they were going to dinner, the two of them, and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't have my partner here. It

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Speaker 1: was kind of I felt really like fish out of

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Speaker 1: water for a minute. Like I was like, Becca, it's

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Speaker 1: weird being here without you.

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Speaker 2: I didn't even know it was a thing.

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Speaker 3: Well because I wasn't on the panel, so it wasn't

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Speaker 3: like it wasn't a part of it. I was just moderating.

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Speaker 2: Well, yeah, she text me and she's like, everyone's going

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Speaker 2: to dinner and everyone separated. I'm like, you literally are

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Speaker 2: friends with all of these people, like just be like, hey,

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Speaker 2: can you fit one more?

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Speaker 3: So everybody did invite me, that's the thing, Like I

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Speaker 3: had to invite you.

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Speaker 2: It was just a pity party.

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Speaker 3: Yeah yeah. I was like, but like Beca's not here,

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Speaker 3: and like I don't have my person.

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Speaker 2: Here with your security blanket.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was weird.

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Speaker 2: I get that sometimes, going to those things without like

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Speaker 2: the like when you're a person.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that.

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Speaker 2: Well, thanks for missing me. I just nice to be

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Speaker 2: missed because Phoebe didn't. And yeah, well.

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Speaker 3: Yeah Phoebe did not miss you, but I certainly did.

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Speaker 2: I really appreciate that. How was the arcade with the fan.

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Speaker 2: I was like dying laughing at Robbie's story of you

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Speaker 2: doing the VHR was a VHR.

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Speaker 3: It's like VR VR.

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Speaker 2: VR, yeah, vhs bom that tracks.

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Speaker 3: I'm okay. So I've never done VR like that before.

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Speaker 1: So I didn't realize that I was in a room

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Speaker 1: with just like it was just a room with plexiglass.

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Speaker 1: I was doing this maze and so when this monster

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Speaker 1: came out and attacked me, I was like kneeling down

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Speaker 1: because I didn't want to hit me.

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Speaker 3: Like I didn't know.

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize. And also I had headphones and so

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Speaker 1: I couldn't hear that. They were like literally right there

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Speaker 1: like robbing. The kids are there laughing hysterically at me,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like dodging this thing hitting me and like

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Speaker 1: trying to shoot it and stuff.

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Speaker 2: It was actually really fun. I've never done it before.

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Speaker 1: But Haley, first of all, you would love the place

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Speaker 1: that we went to. Yeah, I mean two Bit Circus.

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Speaker 1: It's in downtown LA and it's just like a giant arcade.

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Speaker 1: So there's like arcades and or it's like games like

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Speaker 1: you know, pac Man, and they have like all like

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Speaker 1: the ski ball and stuff.

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Speaker 2: They all this They have like Papa shot.

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Speaker 1: Yes, they have all that stuff, and then they had

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Speaker 1: those VR things. They had things that you could like

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Speaker 1: fly wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was like my go to whenever I was dating.

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Speaker 2: We would, I would I would talk about that. That

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Speaker 2: was like a skill that I had. Yeah, like Papa shot,

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Speaker 2: quick shot basketball thing at arcades and then obviously guys

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Speaker 2: would be like, Okay, let's let's go to the arcade,

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Speaker 2: and I would dominate. Actually, I need your help.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if you can tell that my nails

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Speaker 3: are broken.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they are one of them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So Robbie's kids are really into basketball right now. Okay,

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Speaker 1: and that's all we're playing lately.

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Speaker 2: Oh do you need some skills? I would like some practice. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'd like to be better, Tanya. What if we document,

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Speaker 2: like we do a series where we're like secretly practicing

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Speaker 2: and then we all go play and you like crush it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I'm not bad. Surprisingly, I'm not terrible.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're weirdly. You have some athletic ability that comes

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Speaker 2: out in.

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Speaker 1: Weird like athletic adjacent Yes, yeah, like I wouldn't say

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Speaker 1: an athletic, but I'm like almost there.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I want to.

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Speaker 1: I want to be a better teammate for the like

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Speaker 1: the kid that the team that I'm on, you know,

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Speaker 1: because Robbie is obviously really good and so they're always winning.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we gotta get to Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's I'm gonna shorten my nails.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, step, it's hard to shoot with long nails.

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Speaker 1: What I realize is when I'm blocking is when they

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Speaker 1: break because I'm I'm good at defense.

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Speaker 2: You just blocking like that? Yeah yeah, regarding the children

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Speaker 2: or yeah.

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Speaker 3: So anyways, I need your help.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I'm so down for this. Yeah. I would love

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Speaker 2: to give like lessons practice.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so come over because we've got the hoop now.

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Speaker 2: Oh great, I have a hoop too.

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Speaker 3: Oh wow.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so we can prop it up.

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Speaker 3: Hoop and have summer twenty twenty three. They're not ready, No, no, no.

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Speaker 2: Should we take a break.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to discuss we miss the Taylor Swift stuff. What

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Speaker 3: the new songs?

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Speaker 1: Oh my, because we were we were pre recorded that episode.

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Speaker 2: We'll be right back with that. We're back, okay. So

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Speaker 2: right after we recorded the podcast, Taylor dropped some what

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Speaker 2: it was like an extended version of the deluxe album. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: What I realized is hits different is from the Vault

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Speaker 1: of Midnights, okay, And then the other one is I

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Speaker 1: don't even know where You're losing me?

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Speaker 3: You're losing me? Is I don't know.

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Speaker 2: It was just it was kind of what The Lakes

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Speaker 2: was for.

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Speaker 1: But the Lakes you can find on iTunes. This one

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Speaker 1: is just originally.

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Speaker 2: It was on just a CD originally and then she

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Speaker 2: eventually put it on.

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Speaker 3: How much longer is she gonna make us?

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Speaker 2: Way? No? But listen the fact that she got people

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Speaker 2: to download a digital copy from her website. I don't

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Speaker 2: even know where it is on my phone anymore. I

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Speaker 2: don't know.

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Speaker 3: I only have the link you sent me. That's the

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Speaker 3: only thing I've been listening to.

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Speaker 2: That's I need to go back to that and find

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Speaker 2: it because I can't find it in my drop box

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Speaker 2: that's where it's living. It's been crazy. But the fact

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Speaker 2: that she has the power to get people to do

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Speaker 2: that or to like go to the storm. But who

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Speaker 2: has a CD player? Not me? I don't have. I

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Speaker 2: don't you probably have? Like the first Yeah, I imagine

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Speaker 2: Easton has a room full of like relics of is

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Speaker 2: that a good word? Thank you so much.

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Speaker 4: I like a lot of dumb old stuff. So I

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Speaker 4: have a lot stuff, but I'm the only one. Our

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Speaker 4: friends have to borrow our CD drive. You borrowed it

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Speaker 4: at one point. Yeah, so if anyone needs a CD drive,

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Speaker 4: I got it.

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Speaker 2: But what do you like?

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Speaker 3: What do you use it for?

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Speaker 4: Old stuff?

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Speaker 3: I cannot get a regular basis, right.

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Speaker 4: No, I mean I usually just rip it onto the

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Speaker 4: computer and then I can play on my phone.

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Speaker 6: Well that's why I used it, right, so I could

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Speaker 6: make digital copies of DVDs.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well can you do this for the Taylor Swift

365
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Speaker 3: song for us?

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Speaker 4: Yes, I made a video for back on how to

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Speaker 4: load it into her Apple Music.

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Speaker 2: But that means I have to get on That means

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Speaker 2: I have to get on.

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Speaker 4: My on your computer computer.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, my computer is essentially like it got used for

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Speaker 2: Zoom during the pandemic, and that's the most it's ever

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Speaker 2: been used. I just do everything on my phone. Don't

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Speaker 2: say that tracks I know what the title of this

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Speaker 2: episode is, Okay, I don't know the others as much

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Speaker 2: as I know. You're losing me because I don't think

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00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,960
Speaker 2: I've ever listened to a song one. Yeah, it's the Karma, Oh,

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Speaker 2: it's snow on the Beach with Morlana del Rey Hits Different,

379
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Speaker 2: and then uh Karmel with Ice Spice.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I'm just going with Hits Different because that's like

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Speaker 1: the one that we haven't heard before.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, well what do you think about that song?

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Speaker 2: Any theories on it? Oh?

384
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 3: Theories like who is it about? I think they're both

385
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:06,520
Speaker 3: about Joe.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, here's what I thought. How long ago do

387
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Speaker 2: you think she and Joe broke up?

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Speaker 3: That I haven't hypothesized.

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Speaker 2: Because there is a theory that Midnights is a breakup album.

390
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,040
Speaker 3: Well, she told us what Midnights was.

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Speaker 1: It's a compilation of her sleepless midnights across her life.

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Speaker 2: I still think that's what it is. Like, I think

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Speaker 2: it's about like a lot of different things. Yeah, but

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Speaker 2: there's rumors like, oh, this confirms that it's a breakup album.

395
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Speaker 2: But I don't really think.

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Speaker 1: That, no, because I do think Vigilante was written about

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Speaker 1: somebody else, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I believed myself.

399
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Speaker 5: Yeah, I appreciate it.

400
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Speaker 2: Yeah. The song You're Losing Me might be one of

401
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Speaker 2: my favorite songs of her she's ever written.

402
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Speaker 3: I agree.

403
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Speaker 1: If you're not choose me, You're Losing me is quite

404
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:06,040
Speaker 1: possibly the best lyric I've ever heard in my life.

405
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Speaker 2: The bridge where she's like, do something, babe, say something.

406
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Speaker 2: It's like she's begging, begging, begging to.

407
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Speaker 1: Be chosen, to be chosen. She just wants to be chosen.

408
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,760
Speaker 1: And why is Joe not choosing her?

409
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Speaker 2: When she's like, do something, babe, risk something like, she's like,

410
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Speaker 2: just anything.

411
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Speaker 3: Yes, So I think she wanted to get married.

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Speaker 1: They were together for six years, right, and he was

413
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Speaker 1: holding out for some reason.

414
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Speaker 3: He was not choosing her. That's the ultimate choosing, right.

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00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:45,800
Speaker 2: Choosing to marry Yeah, I guess, I mean, if that's

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Speaker 2: what the other person wants.

417
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Speaker 1: Well, they were in a relationship, so she was being

418
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Speaker 1: chosen somewhat, but she wasn't getting the ultimate choosing, you

419
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Speaker 1: know what I mean.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, But some argue that it's the opposite. It's the

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Speaker 6: couples that don't get married long term that are consciously

422
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Speaker 6: choosing each other each day because they are not required

423
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Speaker 6: to be.

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Speaker 2: There legally, right, there's no legal bind Well anyways.

425
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Speaker 3: This is just my own hypothesis.

426
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Speaker 2: And when she says I wouldn't marry me either, a

427
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Speaker 2: pathological people, please, sir, I know.

428
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Speaker 3: I know.

429
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Speaker 2: Who only wanted you to see her and I'm screaming

430
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Speaker 2: out or something, do something, babe. The whole time I

431
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 2: was listening to the song, I was like, Oh, I

432
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Speaker 2: love this, I love this. And when I got to

433
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Speaker 2: the bridge, I was like, she's the queen of the bridge.

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Speaker 2: She is the king of the bridge.

435
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Speaker 5: Wow.

436
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is pretty. It is pretty remarkable.

437
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 1: How I just feel like that sentiment in itself is

438
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 1: so universal.

439
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:53,760
Speaker 3: It's so crazy to me that she has felt that.

440
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 2: I something about that. I don't know if I obviously

441
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,840
Speaker 2: feel sad that she experienced it, but I'm also like

442
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:06,160
Speaker 2: so validated that Taylor Swift is begging to be chosen

443
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:12,080
Speaker 2: like she is like us. The significance of Taylor Swift

444
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 2: is the biggest pop star of our I would say

445
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Speaker 2: of our generation. Right.

446
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,359
Speaker 3: And also, here's my question.

447
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:17,760
Speaker 2: By far?

448
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 1: Was he not choosing her? Was he going to choose her?

449
00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:24,080
Speaker 1: He just wasn't choosing her at the pace at which

450
00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,199
Speaker 1: she needed to be chosen.

451
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 2: Oh but like six years, Like how long has she

452
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:32,440
Speaker 2: been asking him to choose? That's the question. You want

453
00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,439
Speaker 2: to know? What else is crazy? We don't even know

454
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:37,520
Speaker 2: if this is about Joe. I think it is well,

455
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 2: I'm just saying, we'll never know.

456
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,800
Speaker 6: Have you found that songs hit different now that she

457
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 6: has broken up with Joe, Like when I hear New

458
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,639
Speaker 6: Year's Eve, I think to myself, he did it. He

459
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,440
Speaker 6: became a stranger who's last you would recognize anywhere.

460
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,399
Speaker 2: That line is like one of the most soul crushing lines.

461
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,600
Speaker 2: New Year's Eve has some heartbreaking lines in there. That song,

462
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 2: that's a great one. But also like when I when

463
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 2: I hear when I hear your losing Me, the melody

464
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 2: reminds me of Labyrinth and that that transition from oh no,

465
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 2: I'm falling in love again to just say some do something,

466
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:16,440
Speaker 2: They've say something.

467
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 3: I know.

468
00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 1: The concept of being chosen is fairly new to me

469
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,879
Speaker 1: because I worked on this interesting I worked on I

470
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,920
Speaker 1: worked through this in therapy because there was a point.

471
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 1: Obviously Robbie and I are on the same page now

472
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 1: in terms of our future, what we want, where we're going.

473
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,239
Speaker 1: You know that the pace of it is whenever we've

474
00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 1: never been in sync with But I don't think two

475
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,440
Speaker 1: people really are at.

476
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:40,719
Speaker 3: Every point in their relationship.

477
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:43,440
Speaker 1: But I remember when we were going through that phase

478
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,360
Speaker 1: of just like it was important to me to know

479
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,880
Speaker 1: that we were on the same page, like we were

480
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: gonna be engaged, going to be married, like all that

481
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,199
Speaker 1: kind of stuff coming in the future. And I was

482
00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,200
Speaker 1: trying to like reason with myself, not like trying to

483
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 1: figure out for myself why was it so important? Like

484
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:00,840
Speaker 1: why is it so import I mean, like you were saying,

485
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 1: a lot of people say, even just going your whole life,

486
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,639
Speaker 1: not being married, is more of a commitment because you're

487
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:07,280
Speaker 1: choosing every day to be with that person. So I

488
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 1: was like, he's choosing me every day. We're in a relationship,

489
00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,040
Speaker 1: But why do I want the ultimate? Like and that,

490
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,920
Speaker 1: And when my therapist said, like you want to be chosen,

491
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 1: I was.

492
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,719
Speaker 5: Like, whoa.

493
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,400
Speaker 1: It was such a crazy concept that had never been

494
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,280
Speaker 1: brought to me like that way before. So the fact

495
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 1: that Taylor wrote this song and something that I'm like

496
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 1: newly discovered, you know what I mean, the last year

497
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: of my life is so crazy to me.

498
00:22:33,480 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 2: I just had this too. I'm just realizing this too,

499
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 2: like how important it is. I just feel like we

500
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 2: are with Taylor, We're all going through the same thing.

501
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:45,640
Speaker 2: Life is a little different for all of us, right,

502
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,480
Speaker 2: it looks a little different, right.

503
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: He has like a PJ and I have like a

504
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: PET and I have a Ford Bronco. Right, but you

505
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,320
Speaker 1: know we in this thing. Yeah, we're doing the same thing.

506
00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:03,240
Speaker 1: We're walking the same walk of life.

507
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 2: We're experiencing the motions, the depth, the depth. Yeah, wow,

508
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,200
Speaker 2: it was just incredible. I don't know if it's I

509
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,840
Speaker 2: think it's a popular opinion, but I don't love the

510
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 2: Karma remix.

511
00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:17,720
Speaker 5: But I know it's it's it's pointless.

512
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 2: I just feel like.

513
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,360
Speaker 3: I've never liked any of her remixes. Honestly, I don't

514
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:25,439
Speaker 3: like remixes in general.

515
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:26,639
Speaker 5: I don't get the point.

516
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,200
Speaker 6: Of really re releasing a song with some other popular

517
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,800
Speaker 6: artists contributing a verse because it's just the same words.

518
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 6: But I don't get it because what they do is

519
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 6: added Beyonce to that song.

520
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,440
Speaker 1: Because what people want to do is when their song

521
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 1: is doing well, let's say on the radio, and it's

522
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 1: losing steam, if they add someone else onto it, it

523
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:49,880
Speaker 1: kind of breathes a new life and then it can

524
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,480
Speaker 1: pick back up and they can maybe get it further

525
00:23:51,520 --> 00:23:52,400
Speaker 1: and further up the chart.

526
00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:53,720
Speaker 2: That's why they do it.

527
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,640
Speaker 3: If the song is like on the radio, Yeah, what.

528
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 5: Did Bieber inflict himself upon.

529
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,119
Speaker 6: Remember there's a song that was perfectly fine then b

530
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:01,479
Speaker 6: bre to throw himself all over.

531
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:07,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, that was a hit with him.

532
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 1: I feel it was something that was really popular, but

533
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 1: really Eilish.

534
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:15,400
Speaker 5: It was really eilsh Yeah it was. Was it bad guy? Yeah?

535
00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 3: I think so. I don't remember, but you're right. It

536
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 3: was very pointless, very pointless.

537
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but she was like obsessed with him. That

538
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,200
Speaker 2: was her dream. But I think that was a Billie

539
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 2: Eilish preference.

540
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 5: It was.

541
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,760
Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, I just couldn't be happier to have that song.

542
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:34,080
Speaker 2: I would like for her to have it on a

543
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,600
Speaker 2: so I could just put on a little playlist to Spotify.

544
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,359
Speaker 1: But I've been listening to hits different a lot because

545
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 1: it's on my iTunes.

546
00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,480
Speaker 3: But losing me, So are they not on Spotify?

547
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 5: Is that the issue?

548
00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:45,400
Speaker 2: You're losing me is not? Because it was a bonus

549
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 2: for the CD. Got it and then and then people

550
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 2: were I mean, honestly, Swifties are crazy. They were adding

551
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 2: it as a playlist onto Spotify so that you could

552
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,720
Speaker 2: listen to it on Spotify as a playlist, and then

553
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 2: I think it got taken down. Listen you're not gonna

554
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 2: get past Taylor Slip's team when it comes to copyright infringement. No, no, no,

555
00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 2: you're not.

556
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 1: But Taylor should also be gracious enough to just you

557
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:13,119
Speaker 1: will give it you us.

558
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:14,280
Speaker 2: I think she will soon.

559
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,119
Speaker 6: I'm so fascinated by the whole I don't remember an

560
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 6: artist being this enormous like she is at this particular

561
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 6: point in time. Like, yes, plenty of bands in arts

562
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,000
Speaker 6: have played stadiums before, but playing so many shows at

563
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 6: a stadium and tickets are still for two grand apiece

564
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 6: because you can't find them, like yeah, And the fact

565
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,040
Speaker 6: that thousands of people show up outside the stadium to

566
00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 6: sing along to her songs.

567
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 5: I don't remember this happening and I've been alive for

568
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 5: a long time.

569
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,960
Speaker 1: The fact that people wearing diapers not to go, Yeah,

570
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:48,479
Speaker 1: I know, I just throw some period panties on a

571
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: call of to day.

572
00:25:50,080 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 3: Those things can hold some liquid.

573
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:56,679
Speaker 2: You know. I'm devastated by that. Yeah, I was thinking

574
00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,440
Speaker 2: the same thing, like, I just don't know if there

575
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:04,879
Speaker 2: ever will be someone who does what she does or

576
00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 2: what she's been able to do in this like this

577
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,120
Speaker 2: particular time of her life.

578
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 5: And she's buying all typical career arcs.

579
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,640
Speaker 6: You know, typically album it builds, it builds, and maybe

580
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,199
Speaker 6: it starts to back down a little bit at a

581
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:19,920
Speaker 6: certain point. And that's what I kind of thought might

582
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 6: have been happening with Folklore and Evermore because they weren't

583
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,120
Speaker 6: such big radio friendly songs. And now she's bigger than

584
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,159
Speaker 6: ever before, which is not how this normally goes. You

585
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 6: normally zoomed to the top, and it's kind of a

586
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,800
Speaker 6: slower fade where she's just getting bigger and bigger. And

587
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:35,760
Speaker 6: by this time ten years from now, I don't know

588
00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,399
Speaker 6: she'd be president because it just gets larger and larger.

589
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 2: It does.

590
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,199
Speaker 3: It just gets larger and larger.

591
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:41,280
Speaker 2: She has my vote.

592
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 3: She has my vote too, and Taylor we trust.

593
00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 2: Yeah.

594
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,080
Speaker 3: Wow, should we do some emails?

595
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 2: I think we should do some emails.

596
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, he looks really good today.

597
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:57,119
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. That's so kind. We'll be right

598
00:26:57,160 --> 00:27:17,159
Speaker 2: back with email. All right, before we start emails. I

599
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:18,920
Speaker 2: forgot I wanted to talk about this. So I saw

600
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,440
Speaker 2: this TikTok and Breneo Brown was on it or yeah,

601
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 2: I don't know what podcast it was, but she was

602
00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 2: on a podcast. I'll try to find it. And she

603
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 2: was talking about how she doesn't believe that relationships are

604
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:31,160
Speaker 2: fifty to fifty. She was like, I just don't think

605
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 2: it's realistic to expect that both partners are able to

606
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 2: be at one hundred percent at all times or be

607
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:44,000
Speaker 2: able to give the same amount every single day type thing.

608
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 2: So she's like, sometimes at night, my husband and I like,

609
00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,000
Speaker 2: he'll say I'm at twenty today, and she's like, I'm good,

610
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 2: I got you. I'm at eighty, Like I got your

611
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 2: eighty covered, Like I can match you where you need right,

612
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 2: And then she was saying like, sometimes if we're both

613
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,879
Speaker 2: at a low number, like I'm at ten and he's like, well,

614
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:04,719
Speaker 2: I'm at twenty, it's like, how can we show up

615
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 2: for each other in a kind way knowing that we

616
00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:12,520
Speaker 2: don't have you know enough to feel where you're struggling.

617
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 2: I thought that was really interesting because I feel like

618
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,200
Speaker 2: it every time. I feel like I've always heard relationships

619
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:21,040
Speaker 2: are fifty to fifty. You show up, you're fifty percent.

620
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:22,920
Speaker 2: The other person shows up with they're fifty percent.

621
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:25,159
Speaker 1: To me, I feel like that got debunked recently, and

622
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: it's like, now it's one hundred and one hundred.

623
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,280
Speaker 3: Each person has to be giving a hundred.

624
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:31,240
Speaker 2: Okay, right, so whatever it is, each person giving a hundred,

625
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:36,160
Speaker 2: whatever it is, the idea is that we're we shouldn't

626
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 2: be expected to be at our highest best every single day.

627
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 2: And then it's okay if like both people are feeling

628
00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 2: like I have nothing, Like I'm I don't have enough

629
00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,200
Speaker 2: to give to myself and to you.

630
00:28:49,520 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, but how do.

631
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,720
Speaker 2: We do it in a way that's not gonna hurt

632
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 2: the other?

633
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:53,800
Speaker 3: Yeah?

634
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 2: Or going to constriction? I know, I thought it was

635
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,440
Speaker 2: interesting too, and a lot of people in the comments

636
00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 2: are going to like, uh, like nah, and then people

637
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 2: are like, oh, this is really good, and I thought

638
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 2: I'm going to bring this to the podcast.

639
00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think that it is interesting.

640
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 1: I always, you know, I like to be positive and

641
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:12,520
Speaker 1: look at the bright side and have that go get

642
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:13,120
Speaker 1: or energy.

643
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 3: And I really feel like I've met my match.

644
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 1: And Robbie because he really brings it tenfold even when

645
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: he's got like so much stuff going on in his

646
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 1: own life, Like he can be there for me in

647
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:26,959
Speaker 1: a way that I could never be for him if

648
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: I had that stuff going on in my life, do

649
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like it's pretty remarkable, and

650
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: so it makes me want to be better because he's

651
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:33,400
Speaker 1: that way.

652
00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. So like even if you don't have it, if

653
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,880
Speaker 2: he can match you, it almost like because I feel

654
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 2: like sometimes if your partner is able to give to

655
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,600
Speaker 2: you and fill up your tank or whatever it is,

656
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 2: it almost it gives you the energy to show up. Yeah,

657
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:52,720
Speaker 2: a little more than maybe you had before.

658
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:53,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

659
00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 2: You know, but when you're both feeling down, like have

660
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 2: you and Robbie ever both been down at the same time,

661
00:29:58,440 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: We're like you didn't feel it.

662
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, But but like when he's down, he can have perspective,

663
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:05,480
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, and be like, yes, we're

664
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,440
Speaker 1: feeling this way, but this is just a storm, Like

665
00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 1: this is just temporary. Like there, this is we're not

666
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: seeing the forest through the trees. And I'm like, you're right,

667
00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 1: so right, this is temporary.

668
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 2: Not seeing the forest.

669
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 5: Through the trees, not see the forest for the trees.

670
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 3: The expression, Oh not tracks, you're.

671
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:28,120
Speaker 5: Not seeing the big picture. You're only focused on what's

672
00:30:28,160 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 5: right in front of it.

673
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, So like that's what I can do,

674
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 1: Like I can focus on just what's right in front

675
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: of me, and he can focus on the big picture.

676
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 2: Oh that's nice. That's a good uh, balance.

677
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 3: Tell me it's necessary at times.

678
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,320
Speaker 2: Yeah. I do feel like you met your match in that. Yeah,

679
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 2: because like even you posted something about like you woke

680
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 2: up not feeling you felt sanzy, and I was like,

681
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:47,920
Speaker 2: let's go yeah literally.

682
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 3: Yes, yesterday? Was it yesterday? Yeah?

683
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 1: I woke up kind of sanzy vibes. I'd I went

684
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:58,440
Speaker 1: gluttonous the night before, just full gluten, just glu down

685
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 1: with pizza toe, pizza toes, pierreline cookie.

686
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 3: Yeah it isn't full blown gluten.

687
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 1: So anyways, I woke up Sunday feeling kind of like

688
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,440
Speaker 1: groggy and out of it, and Robbie woke up with

689
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: this attitude of like, let's get it good.

690
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 3: You know, he does this whole thing.

691
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 1: And I was like, you know what, I'm gonna book

692
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,120
Speaker 1: my workout class and once hert to class.

693
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 3: Wow, yeah that's great. Yeah.

694
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 2: I don't even think the most encouraging hype person could

695
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 2: do that for me personally, But I'm happy that you

696
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 2: have found you.

697
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 5: Lack is to try Sunday morning, give you.

698
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: A definitely not on Sunday morning, little voice note to

699
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 1: pump you up.

700
00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 2: Definitely not on a Sunday morning. That's not gonna happen

701
00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:40,600
Speaker 2: all right. I would try a weekday if you were

702
00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 2: gonna try it, but I also don't recommend. Shall I

703
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 2: get into emails?

704
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 3: Yes?

705
00:31:44,720 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 6: I feel bad for this first one. This is the

706
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,440
Speaker 6: kind of guy we've talked about before. It's so anonymous.

707
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:49,920
Speaker 5: She says.

708
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:53,080
Speaker 6: I'm thirty two, married seven years, with two kids five

709
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 6: and under. My husband has always had two Instagrams.

710
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:56,760
Speaker 5: Since we met.

711
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 6: At the beginning, I found him messaging other girls for

712
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,240
Speaker 6: pictures and saving pictures of other girls. Years ago, I

713
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 6: found out his second Instagram was just to follow hot

714
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,640
Speaker 6: chicks essentially. That was the second time after calling out

715
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:12,040
Speaker 6: his made instagram previously, he made an excuse I never

716
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 6: should have believed, And looking back now, I wish I

717
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,560
Speaker 6: was stronger to call off the relationship long ago.

718
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:17,360
Speaker 5: But here I am.

719
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:20,320
Speaker 6: He's always scrolling, He's always on his phone. He always

720
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 6: makes sure it's with him, even when he's in the shower,

721
00:32:22,200 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 6: it's right there next to him. I've looked multiple times recently,

722
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,840
Speaker 6: and this is what he's following, thirst trap girl after

723
00:32:27,880 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 6: thirst trap girl. It's his whole scroll, his whole search page.

724
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,880
Speaker 6: I can only imagine what else there is. Do I

725
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,920
Speaker 6: keep putting this off like it's a guy thing. Do

726
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,959
Speaker 6: I get therapy or do I get out? It clearly

727
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 6: has affected me, like body keeps the score type stuff.

728
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:44,520
Speaker 6: I don't find him attractive. I don't want him to

729
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 6: touch me. Can we come back from this? After years

730
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,880
Speaker 6: and years of him doing this, I don't see him changing.

731
00:32:54,960 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 2: My instinct gut reaction is get out. I feel like

732
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 2: it's constant disrespect after disrespect, like it. It feels like

733
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 2: this is a character thing, like Tony always talks about

734
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 2: character and I don't think this is a guy thing.

735
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 2: I think guy sure, they like looking at hot girls,

736
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 2: and I think this is a common issue of like

737
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 2: men liking or following girls. But I think the fact

738
00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 2: that you have called him out on it and made

739
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 2: it clear that you're uncomfortable with it and it's still

740
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,959
Speaker 2: going on, is just he has no respect for you

741
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 2: or what hurts you?

742
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you said he made an excuse. I never

743
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: should have believed so For me, I feel like if

744
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,720
Speaker 1: you you've already brought this up, that it really bothers you.

745
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,880
Speaker 1: And I think in a relationship, if you bring something

746
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 1: up that is really bothering you, that's something like this,

747
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: Like let's say, like, there's some things that you can't change,

748
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, there are things that

749
00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: you can't change about a person, if they're physical or

750
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,280
Speaker 1: if they're you know, like there are but something like

751
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 1: this he can or he can work to a compromise,

752
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 1: Like if it's really hurting your feelings, he should be

753
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 1: able to figure some out. That's a compromise where he

754
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: feels like he's still being true to himself, which.

755
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,400
Speaker 3: I don't know whatever that is.

756
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 1: But also I don't know, I don't know why he

757
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 1: likes looking at this, like I have no idea, but

758
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:12,839
Speaker 1: I'm saying. What I'm saying is like he's not even

759
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 1: trying to compromise. He's coming up with an excuse.

760
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 2: I don't think this is a compromise situation.

761
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 1: And if it's really bothering you and he's making up excuses,

762
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:22,879
Speaker 1: it's only going to get worse over time.

763
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,840
Speaker 6: I feel like I know this guy, you know him

764
00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,360
Speaker 6: kinda Yeah, this guy was told by his parents his

765
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,680
Speaker 6: whole life that he is God's gift, the greatest thing

766
00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 6: in the world, which happens to so many guys whose

767
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 6: moms treat them like on a pedestal, and so they

768
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:37,719
Speaker 6: get out into the world, and their feeling is, hey,

769
00:34:37,719 --> 00:34:39,080
Speaker 6: that's just who I am. Take it or leave it

770
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 6: because I'm awesome. Right, They don't see they're incredibly flawed people.

771
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:44,520
Speaker 6: But they don't see the flaws because they've been told

772
00:34:44,520 --> 00:34:47,439
Speaker 6: their whole lives they don't have them. So when they're

773
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 6: dating someone or married to someone, they're like, take me

774
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 6: or leave me. This is who I am. As if

775
00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 6: it's like, sorry, I don't like red sauce on spaghetti

776
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,920
Speaker 6: or something silly like that, but it's not silly. So

777
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,479
Speaker 6: what he needs to you need to make this clear

778
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 6: to him. And I do feel like you're telling him

779
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 6: I don't find you attractive anymore. I don't want you

780
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 6: to touch me. I want this to stop. As a

781
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,760
Speaker 6: major blow to him, and it's going to cause problems

782
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 6: at first because he's going to fight that and think

783
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 6: you're wrong and you're a bee and all kinds of

784
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 6: other stuff, and he's probably going to spend time by himself.

785
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 5: But it's going to get into his head. He's going

786
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 5: to figure out that this is disrespectful to you.

787
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 6: Sometimes it takes a major thing to get it through

788
00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,000
Speaker 6: a guy's head that this is disrespectful because they don't

789
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:26,839
Speaker 6: see it that way.

790
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:28,560
Speaker 5: I don't know that he would ever cheat on you.

791
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 5: He may not.

792
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:33,840
Speaker 6: He may see this as absolutely harmless. But if he

793
00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 6: understands that, how would he feel if you had nothing

794
00:35:36,239 --> 00:35:38,279
Speaker 6: but guys in speedo's on your Instagram?

795
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:39,839
Speaker 5: I don't think he would like that.

796
00:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 2: Well, we're not. I don't think anybody.

797
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:44,359
Speaker 6: You're right, it's different. You're right, it's totally different, But

798
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 6: the guys don't see it that way. Guys wouldn't want

799
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 6: dong photos all over your instagram.

800
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 5: He just wouldn't. But maybe it's not a good comparison.

801
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:52,840
Speaker 5: I don't know. But he needs to.

802
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 6: We need to get us through his head that this

803
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:58,120
Speaker 6: is Defcon five. We are in an emergency situation. You

804
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,279
Speaker 6: no longer want to sleep with him, and you are

805
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,279
Speaker 6: ready to leave. You are writing emails for podcasts on

806
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 6: what do I do? Should I end my marriage? He

807
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,880
Speaker 6: needs to know we are at an urgent situation because

808
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,200
Speaker 6: this could end nowhere in his mind as you think

809
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,240
Speaker 6: this could end. He needs to know that it's possible

810
00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:15,959
Speaker 6: and maybe he'll figure it out.

811
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean he's been able to get away with

812
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 2: it for a long time with no repercussions.

813
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 5: Yes, with every one of his exes.

814
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 1: I sound him messaging other girls for pictures and saving

815
00:36:25,719 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 1: pictures of other girls, Like that's.

816
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 2: Bad, it was good.

817
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:31,520
Speaker 5: No, I don't know these girls. I just message them.

818
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,359
Speaker 5: They don't meet them. Yeah, I send you pictures. It's

819
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,680
Speaker 5: just pictures. What's the difference.

820
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,240
Speaker 2: I just think it's like you look.

821
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,879
Speaker 6: At chatting Terry to me think he's hot. It's totally

822
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:43,799
Speaker 6: the same thing. Guys can justify all of it.

823
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:48,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm telling you.

824
00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:52,040
Speaker 6: It takes guys forever to mature, but eventually we do.

825
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 6: It takes forever. I'm sorry, it takes forever.

826
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 5: It sucks. Eventually he will, and I hope it's not

827
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:57,839
Speaker 5: too late.

828
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 2: I don't know. I think get out before that.

829
00:37:04,400 --> 00:37:07,240
Speaker 1: No, it's so it just sucks because it's obviously affecting

830
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: you in such a big way, and he's clearly not

831
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 1: getting to him.

832
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 2: It's it's just that, you know, life is so short

833
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 2: and it's precious, and we so many I feel like

834
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,960
Speaker 2: so many people settle for something that is so you

835
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:27,400
Speaker 2: can bleep me shitty because they feel like it's going

836
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 2: to get or I don't want to start over, or

837
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 2: I don't want my kids to be affected. But why

838
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 2: should you spend your life with someone who disrespects you

839
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,799
Speaker 2: to this level just for fear of having to start over?

840
00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 2: Like there is a wonderful person out there who is

841
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:46,440
Speaker 2: probably so willing to not even have social media, that

842
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 2: might not even think about looking at thirstrap photos, and

843
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 2: you deserve that. So it's like I get it, Like

844
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 2: you're married, you have kids, and you're like, can I

845
00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 2: work this out? But also like, don't spend your whole

846
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,800
Speaker 2: life with someone who can even like respect The simple

847
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 2: act of not following thirst traps.

848
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:06,640
Speaker 6: The kids are another angle that you could use with him,

849
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 6: like how would you do you want the kids to

850
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 6: have divorced parents?

851
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 5: Do you want the kids? By the way, is that

852
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,480
Speaker 5: the image you want to be in your kid's eyes?

853
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 5: What if your kids?

854
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 6: He doesn't say if it's a boy or girl, but

855
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 6: you want your daughter to see on your Instagram they

856
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:17,800
Speaker 6: have nothing but bikini photos.

857
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,800
Speaker 5: Is that the man you want her to see?

858
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 6: When we started the Almost Famous podcast, we had bachelor

859
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:25,440
Speaker 6: people in every week, so I would and back then

860
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 6: I was doing the prep and so I would go

861
00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:29,840
Speaker 6: on Instagram, get pictures of them and put it on

862
00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:31,479
Speaker 6: the prep for Ben and Ashley to see a little

863
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:32,880
Speaker 6: behind the scenes here. It's like, oh, you know so

864
00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 6: and so, and there's a picture of her. But all

865
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,640
Speaker 6: I was doing on Instagram because I'm not very much

866
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 6: is looking at women on the Bachelor of Women. So

867
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 6: one day I want my for you page and it

868
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 6: was nothing but Bachelor women in bikini. It's like, oh

869
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:45,719
Speaker 6: my god, that's not me, and I don't want to

870
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,359
Speaker 6: be seen as that guy. I don't want my wife

871
00:38:47,360 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 6: to see that. I want my kids to see that.

872
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,480
Speaker 6: So I just got off Instagram for a while because

873
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 6: I don't want.

874
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 5: That to be me. Yeah, he needs to think of

875
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 5: it from his kids perspective too. You don't want to

876
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 5: be that guy.

877
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,680
Speaker 2: I think you and this guy are very different.

878
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,680
Speaker 6: We are now, but I used to be that guy.

879
00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,720
Speaker 6: I know i'm and that's hard for me to admit,

880
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:07,120
Speaker 6: but I used to be that guy. I did whatever

881
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 6: I wanted and I was just like, everything's gonna be

882
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:14,799
Speaker 6: fine because I'm awesome. I'm very embarrassed and humiliated about

883
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 6: the guy I was in my twenties that my wife met.

884
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 6: I've apologized for a million times. I can't believe she

885
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 6: married that guy. She never should have because he.

886
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 5: Was a dick. And this guy's a dick. But he'll

887
00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:28,799
Speaker 5: get through it, but it might be too late.

888
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:37,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yikes. Anyway, regardless, Anonymous, you deserve more whatever you deserve,

889
00:39:37,719 --> 00:39:40,480
Speaker 2: whenever you choose, whether HiT's him working on himself and

890
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 2: getting better or you getting out and finding someone better,

891
00:39:43,040 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 2: you deserve better.

892
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 3: That's what you deserve better. There's a Megan Trainer song

893
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 3: shows into It's very good.

894
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:49,839
Speaker 5: Good.

895
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 3: You deserve better.

896
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, one more Anonymous. I know Becka's talked on the

897
00:39:56,239 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 6: podcast about couple's therapy with Haley, and I'm hoping she

898
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 6: can speak more about the benefits she saw from it.

899
00:40:00,719 --> 00:40:03,000
Speaker 6: I feel like my boyfriend and I've been bickering NonStop

900
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 6: about small things. How do you start couples therapy without

901
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,440
Speaker 6: it feeling like the beginning of the end or a

902
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 6: last ditch effort. I feel like we would benefit from it,

903
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,040
Speaker 6: but I'm afraid it will feel like we're admitting defeat.

904
00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 5: That's a really good question.

905
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:15,520
Speaker 2: I think it really is. And to be honest, when

906
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 2: we for Haley is the one who brought up couple therapy,

907
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 2: and I was like, so, basically, our relationship is over,

908
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 2: Like couples therapy to me meant like this is the end,

909
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,280
Speaker 2: like the beginning of the end, And it was actually

910
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 2: the opposite because I our issue Haley and I, just

911
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,080
Speaker 2: in a broad way of describing it, is that we

912
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 2: communicate very differently, so like we see things differently. We

913
00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,800
Speaker 2: have different perspectives on certain things, and so when we argue,

914
00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 2: it's like I think that I'm right and she thinks

915
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 2: that she's right, just because we see the world differently,

916
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,480
Speaker 2: and so couple therapy was just a way for us

917
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 2: to learn how to communicate that was productive as opposed

918
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 2: to getting into a place where I, at the time

919
00:40:57,680 --> 00:40:59,799
Speaker 2: was very avoidant and would shut down and like one

920
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 2: want to talk about things, and then she would like

921
00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,440
Speaker 2: push me up against the wall be like I need

922
00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 2: to talk about it. I want to talk about it.

923
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 2: So it was like getting to a place where we

924
00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:11,400
Speaker 2: were able to honor each other's like what we needed

925
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 2: in those moments, but also have productive conversations that we're

926
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 2: able to get to a place of like just understanding

927
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:23,200
Speaker 2: each other a little bit better. But I for me

928
00:41:23,440 --> 00:41:26,120
Speaker 2: when I agreed to do it, because I genuinely was like, Okay,

929
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 2: I guess this is the end, if we're having to

930
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,320
Speaker 2: go to couple therapy. I was like, well, at least

931
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: if we end, I can be like we did everything

932
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:35,800
Speaker 2: we could. So I think sometimes I could think couple therapy,

933
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 2: Like for Haley and I, it's been very beneficial and

934
00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:40,479
Speaker 2: helped us a lot. And I think sometimes maybe couple

935
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 2: therapy you get into it and maybe it's like, oh,

936
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 2: we're not compatible, or like we can't get to a

937
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 2: place where we can make this work. But I think

938
00:41:48,120 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 2: either way, it's such a it's such a helpful way

939
00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 2: to learn about each other and also have someone who's

940
00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:59,160
Speaker 2: not biased towards either person, who can help navigate and

941
00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 2: see it from a different perspective.

942
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: And even if that seems too daunting for you to do,

943
00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:07,040
Speaker 1: like couples therapy, maybe even encouraging your partner to do

944
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 1: therapy on their own and you do therapy on your own,

945
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:13,520
Speaker 1: because I think that therapy in general has just been

946
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 1: so eye opening for me, because I think everybody kind

947
00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 1: of has that complex of like I'm amazing.

948
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,240
Speaker 3: I have all the answers. I know what I'm doing,

949
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:22,839
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?

950
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:23,400
Speaker 2: Like we all have.

951
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:25,239
Speaker 1: We all think what we do and how we live

952
00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:27,400
Speaker 1: our lives is the best way because that's how we

953
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:30,359
Speaker 1: live it and it's just not the case. And I

954
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 1: think a therapist can really open your eyes to that

955
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:36,719
Speaker 1: because I think for me.

956
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:40,560
Speaker 3: Specifically, I had this like.

957
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 1: Pie in the sky vision of what like love, relationship,

958
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,320
Speaker 1: marriage was, you know, like it was that image that

959
00:42:47,360 --> 00:42:49,359
Speaker 1: we see on TV the white horse and he's going

960
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: to put the glass slipper on my foot and it's

961
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 1: going to be this fairy tale. And so when we

962
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: had to start dealing with like really hard things, like

963
00:42:56,480 --> 00:43:00,440
Speaker 1: things that just happen in life, I couldn't like raptionalize

964
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 1: with it. I couldn't understand it. I was just like, no,

965
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:04,200
Speaker 1: it's not supposed to be hard. It's not supposed to

966
00:43:04,239 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 1: be like this. It's supposed to be easy. Relationships are

967
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:08,680
Speaker 1: supposed to be your oasis. This is not supposed to

968
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: be something that we work on or work through. And

969
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,759
Speaker 1: so that was like very life changing for me to

970
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,439
Speaker 1: kind of open my eyes and see it through that way.

971
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:18,880
Speaker 1: So I feel like, maybe if you don't want to

972
00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:21,400
Speaker 1: go to couple's therapy quite yet, maybe you guys can

973
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,799
Speaker 1: both just do your own individual therapy and you can

974
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:24,399
Speaker 1: get there too.

975
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's good advice.

976
00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:28,319
Speaker 6: It's I used to think the same thing. Why would

977
00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 6: anybody dating go to couple therapy just break up? It's fine, somebody,

978
00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 6: you don't beat therapy with it. I totally I've done

979
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:34,600
Speaker 6: a full one eighty on it.

980
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 5: I get it.

981
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:37,759
Speaker 6: It's about learning to communicate with each Yeah, because any

982
00:43:37,760 --> 00:43:41,439
Speaker 6: two humans are just different people. And like you said,

983
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,399
Speaker 6: you think your way is the best way and everything's great,

984
00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:47,080
Speaker 6: and they do too, and so that's where naturally conflict, right, yes, yeah,

985
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:48,840
Speaker 6: and this helps you deal with conflict.

986
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:52,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I will say, like it'll be like Haley

987
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,839
Speaker 2: stands on something in mine and we're both like our

988
00:43:56,040 --> 00:43:58,360
Speaker 2: heels are dug in, Like neither one of us is

989
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 2: changing how we feel. But it's like, how do we

990
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:02,400
Speaker 2: get to a place where we go Okay, I see

991
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,279
Speaker 2: why you feel that way, or you see how I

992
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 2: feel that way. And yeah, I used to think the

993
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:10,160
Speaker 2: same thing, couple couple stadium, Like damn, if you all

994
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:10,759
Speaker 2: are already in.

995
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:13,759
Speaker 3: Break up, if you have a problem like break up,

996
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 3: you're not in it, you know. But it's true. It's

997
00:44:15,520 --> 00:44:17,000
Speaker 3: like again, you could do that.

998
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 1: You could break when things get hard, you could break

999
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:20,560
Speaker 1: up and you're gonna date somebody else and then things

1000
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 1: are gonna get hard again, you know. But it's not

1001
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,880
Speaker 1: even like it doesn't even be something so hard. It

1002
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,680
Speaker 1: could just be like lifestuck, you know. Like I remember

1003
00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: when we first started kind of integrating and I was

1004
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 1: living more at Robbie's house. The way we live is

1005
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 1: very different in terms of just like cleanliness and you know,

1006
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:38,879
Speaker 1: like things like that, and with kids involved. I never

1007
00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,239
Speaker 1: had kids involved in where I lived, so it was

1008
00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:43,839
Speaker 1: like a really having to like hear him out.

1009
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:45,279
Speaker 3: He needed to hear me out. And then we came

1010
00:44:45,320 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 3: to a compromise, you know, and it's like neither one

1011
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 3: of us is right or wrong.

1012
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:49,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just the way we prefer.

1013
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:52,880
Speaker 1: To live, and we came to like a good middle

1014
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 1: ground with it, you know. So it's just like hearing

1015
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:55,319
Speaker 1: each other out.

1016
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, speaking of you moved to the.

1017
00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 3: Office movement, dude, that was a big deal.

1018
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 2: The stude has been moved a big move in the relationship. Yes,

1019
00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 2: you've been preparing that space for a while now.

1020
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 1: Yes, I've been, yes, digging my heels, but I felt

1021
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,879
Speaker 1: like I'm taking advantage of this week.

1022
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:16,239
Speaker 3: We have.

1023
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,200
Speaker 1: Have some downtime with the morning show to actually like

1024
00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:22,200
Speaker 1: have my studio moved.

1025
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,880
Speaker 3: So I did it. I moved all the pieces last Weekend.

1026
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 1: Tubs is coming into my house tomorrow to set it

1027
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 1: all up and we're gonna be up and running.

1028
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,319
Speaker 2: Congrats the wi fi set up.

1029
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:34,200
Speaker 3: The WiFi is set up. Yeah, yeah, we're here. Here,

1030
00:45:34,239 --> 00:45:34,520
Speaker 3: we are.

1031
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:35,120
Speaker 1: Well.

1032
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 3: I haven't officially moved yet.

1033
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 1: I still have my place, but yeah, yeah, yeah, just

1034
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:40,520
Speaker 1: the studio.

1035
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:41,760
Speaker 3: Dude, the stude has moved.

1036
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 2: We have a Thursday episode, Yes, we do. Do you

1037
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 2: want to talk about him?

1038
00:45:49,080 --> 00:45:52,520
Speaker 1: I'm very pumped because you know, he's no stranger to

1039
00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: the o R. He's been in ther before, but never

1040
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 1: in person like this, and I just find him to

1041
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:06,279
Speaker 1: be such a inspiring, captivating, well rounded human being. And

1042
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:08,880
Speaker 1: I'm really pumped that Devon Franklin is going to be

1043
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:09,640
Speaker 1: joining us.

1044
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:12,880
Speaker 3: Fellow author.

1045
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,759
Speaker 1: I remember, actually I was when we were going to

1046
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 1: get our endorsements for the book. Devon is somebody that

1047
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,040
Speaker 1: I've really admired, especially in the writing space. I've read

1048
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,279
Speaker 1: most of all of his books, and so he's just

1049
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,480
Speaker 1: somebody that I really, I really his endorsement on my

1050
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,359
Speaker 1: book was really important to me. But I was so

1051
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:34,000
Speaker 1: scared to ask him because like we're not friends. We're friendly,

1052
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,760
Speaker 1: but we're you know, we're not close by any means.

1053
00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,279
Speaker 1: And so I was so nervous and I wasn't going

1054
00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 1: to do it because I was like the fear of

1055
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,279
Speaker 1: the rejection if he like didn't respond or he didn't

1056
00:46:42,280 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: want to do it, you know, Like I was like

1057
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,880
Speaker 1: just going down that path. And he was so gracious

1058
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 1: and was so excited to do it, and so like

1059
00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,000
Speaker 1: his reaction to that made me love him even more.

1060
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:54,680
Speaker 1: So that was like really nice.

1061
00:46:54,880 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 2: Well, I'm so excited to meet him in person. Yeah,

1062
00:46:57,520 --> 00:47:00,360
Speaker 2: So we'll be back Thursday with Devon Franklin and we

1063
00:47:00,440 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 2: hope you have a wonderful week and we love you.

1064
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:03,680
Speaker 2: Somebody love you. Bye bye.

1065
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:12,840
Speaker 1: M m hm