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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation

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Speaker 1: about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions

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Speaker 1: we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.

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Speaker 1: I'm your host, doctor Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed

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Speaker 1: psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find

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Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy

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Speaker 1: for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you love listening

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Speaker 1: to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant

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Speaker 1: to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed

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Speaker 1: mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining

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Speaker 1: me for session three sixty nine the Therapy for Black

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Speaker 1: Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation afterword from

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Speaker 1: our sponsors. Okay, I feel like we all just need

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Speaker 1: to start with the deepest inhale and exhale that we

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Speaker 1: can possibly muster. Right now. I know that I'm not

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Speaker 1: the only one who has been holding my breath, walking

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Speaker 1: around with my shoulders all tensed, tension in my neck,

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Speaker 1: just all the things tense. So I wanted to jump

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Speaker 1: on to have a quick community check in because as

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Speaker 1: many of you, I'm sure I have been paying attention

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Speaker 1: to the news of the weekend and feeling a little whiplass,

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Speaker 1: so little, what's going on? What do we need to

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Speaker 1: do next? Like just a little scattered, And as y'all know,

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Speaker 1: anytime I'm feeling something, I imagine that many of you

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Speaker 1: are also experiencing it, which is why I like to

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Speaker 1: check in at times like this. So if you've been

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Speaker 1: paying attention, which I'm sure you have been, you know that.

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Speaker 1: On Sunday afternoon or Sunday morning, I believe, or maybe midday,

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Speaker 1: President Joe Biden announced that he would not actually be

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Speaker 1: seeking reelection this year, and at first that was the

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Speaker 1: only statement that he was stepping down. He thought that

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Speaker 1: that was best for the party. And then a little

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Speaker 1: while later it came out that he was also now

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Speaker 1: endorsing his vice president, Kamala Harris to seek the nomination

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Speaker 1: from the Democratic Party. So at first I felt, oh,

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Speaker 1: my gosh, what in the world is happening? What does

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Speaker 1: this mean? Like what's even going on? But I didn't

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Speaker 1: even really have time to sit with this because we

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Speaker 1: were kind of getting ready and on the way out

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Speaker 1: the door for the kids flag football game, and so

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Speaker 1: I didn't really even have time to sit with like

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Speaker 1: everything that was happening. So in between timeouts and halftimes

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Speaker 1: and all the things, I'm like checking my phones to

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Speaker 1: see what's going on, which is when I think I

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Speaker 1: found out that he was now also endorsing Vice President

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Speaker 1: Kamala Harris to be the nominee. So I think, like

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Speaker 1: many of you, I was feeling like, okay, kind of excited.

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Speaker 1: Is this an opportunity for us to elect the first

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Speaker 1: black woman, the first woman of color, first woman period

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Speaker 1: as president? But also is this really going to work?

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Speaker 1: Like have we shot ourselves in the foot, so to

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Speaker 1: speak as a democratic party? Like do we even really

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Speaker 1: have a chance now? And so I found myself kind

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Speaker 1: of waffling throughout the day, tuning into the news, paying

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Speaker 1: attention to what pundits were saying and the chatter online.

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Speaker 1: And then I saw that there was a call that

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Speaker 1: was going to be later that night from the Win

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Speaker 1: with Black Women organization shout out to Joe taka Edi.

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Speaker 1: Unfortunately I wasn't able to join that call on Sunday night,

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Speaker 1: but from all reports, people left feeling incredibly energized, galvanized,

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Speaker 1: ready to work, ready to do what needed to be

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Speaker 1: done to get Vice president Kamala Harris elected to the presidency,

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Speaker 1: and so I'm very excited to hear that, and I

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Speaker 1: think that that turned things around for a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: But I really wanted to check in with the people

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Speaker 1: who maybe are not quite there yet, because I think

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Speaker 1: what often happens, and I think we do this a

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Speaker 1: lot as black women, is that we immediately jump into

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Speaker 1: action without really giving ourselves time to kind of sit

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Speaker 1: with the what in the world of it? All? Right, So,

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Speaker 1: if you are still kind of feeling what just happened?

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Speaker 1: How did we get here? I want you to know

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Speaker 1: that I see you, and that that is a totally

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Speaker 1: valid reaction to what is already starting to be a

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Speaker 1: very up and down in tumultuous election cycle. I think

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Speaker 1: it was like that even before this weekend's announcement, and

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Speaker 1: I think even more so now. And so if you

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Speaker 1: have not gotten to excitement, if you're still feeling a

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Speaker 1: little anxious, a little hesitant, a little how is this

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Speaker 1: all going to work? I want you to know that

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Speaker 1: I see you and that it is okay to feel

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Speaker 1: however it is that you're feeling. I do appreciate the excitement,

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Speaker 1: and I found myself even though I was not on

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Speaker 1: the call, getting more towards a place of excitement by

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Speaker 1: the end of Sunday evening, just carrying the reports of

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Speaker 1: the call. But it's okay if you are not there.

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Speaker 1: And I think one of the things that many Black

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Speaker 1: women may be a little hesitant about, a little concerned about,

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Speaker 1: is what in the world are these next couple of

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Speaker 1: months going to look like, both for the vice president,

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Speaker 1: but also I think in our own lives, And already

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Speaker 1: I think many of us are already imagining the vitriol

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Speaker 1: that will be released because this is a black woman

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Speaker 1: running for the presidency, and I don't think that it

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Speaker 1: is unrealistic to imagine that or to be bracing ourselves

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Speaker 1: for what is going to be unleashed in the next

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Speaker 1: couple of months. And as true as that is, what

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Speaker 1: I also know to be true is that Black women

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Speaker 1: rally like no other. And so if this is where

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Speaker 1: we find ourselves, I trust in the ability of black

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Speaker 1: women to lead to Galvani the community, to strategize and

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Speaker 1: to point us to the path of victory. I don't

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Speaker 1: know that there's anybody else that I trust more than

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Speaker 1: I trust black women with this kind of an effort.

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Speaker 1: So On the one hand, that does make me feel

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Speaker 1: incredibly hopeful that there may be a path to victory

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Speaker 1: for us, and you know, an ability for us to

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Speaker 1: stop Projects twenty twenty five and to stop the rolling

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Speaker 1: back of many of the rights that the Republican Party

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Speaker 1: has done and continue to attempt to do with the

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Speaker 1: campaign of Donald Trump. So I'm hopeful if anybody can

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Speaker 1: get this done, black women in charge can get this done.

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Speaker 1: But again, I also want to hold space for the

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Speaker 1: trepidation that that means for many of us. And even

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Speaker 1: before this announcement this weekend, I kind of found myself

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Speaker 1: already a little more anxious about the election cycle. I

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Speaker 1: think after former President Trump's rally where there was the shooting,

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Speaker 1: I think it made me kind of pay attention and

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Speaker 1: like lock into what was happening with the new cycle

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Speaker 1: related to the election in a way that I hadn't previously,

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Speaker 1: just because I was trying to protect my own mental

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Speaker 1: health and kind of protect my own piece by not

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Speaker 1: really kind of falling down the rabbit hole. And I

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Speaker 1: think that that rally really forced me to pay attention

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Speaker 1: in a new way and so found myself really anxious

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Speaker 1: about like, oh, my goodness, like, is this guy going

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Speaker 1: to get elected again? And what is this going to mean?

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Speaker 1: And how are we going to kind of pull ourselves

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Speaker 1: together and out of this? And so, in a conversation

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Speaker 1: with my own therapist last week, shared that with her,

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Speaker 1: and she shared that I was not the first client

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Speaker 1: that had brought up those same kinds of things that

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Speaker 1: the shooting, of course had kind of led to people

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Speaker 1: kind of locking in in a different way. And so

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Speaker 1: one of the things that was really helpful in my

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Speaker 1: conversation with her that day was her questioning around, when

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Speaker 1: have you found yourself in this place before? And are

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Speaker 1: there some things that have been helpful to you in

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Speaker 1: the past that you could also lean on in this moment?

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Speaker 1: And so it started me to think about how anxious

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Speaker 1: and you know, very uncertain I felt in the beginning

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Speaker 1: of the pandemic, and like, how do I keep myself safe?

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Speaker 1: How do I keep my family safe? How do we

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Speaker 1: keep the community safe? And the resources that I had

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Speaker 1: to lean on? Right, Like, in periods of uncertainty, there

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Speaker 1: are often answers in places that we may be overlooking,

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Speaker 1: and those answers often come in the form of community,

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Speaker 1: I think. And so in that questioning and conversation with her,

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Speaker 1: it reminded me that, yes, I have been through some

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Speaker 1: very difficult times before, periods of uncertainty, periods of anxiety

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Speaker 1: and not knowing the answers, and even though it was rough,

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Speaker 1: I have made it through that. And that means that

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Speaker 1: I very likely couldn't do that again. And so I

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Speaker 1: want to offer that to you as well, tell that

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Speaker 1: you have been through some very very tough times and

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Speaker 1: you have made it through the other side. And the

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Speaker 1: one thing that I do know is that the only

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Speaker 1: way through difficult times is together. And so I hope

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Speaker 1: that you will lean on the Therapy for Black Girls community,

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Speaker 1: lean on your other circles of support, so really help

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Speaker 1: you to get through this time that can be very difficult.

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Speaker 1: More from our conversation after the break, I think again,

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Speaker 1: if you are feeling hesitant about this moment in history,

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Speaker 1: what this election cycle is going to kind of unfold into,

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Speaker 1: there are a couple of things that you probably do

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Speaker 1: need to keep in mind, because we already know and

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Speaker 1: we're already seeing it that there will be you way

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Speaker 1: more control activity online, lots of misinformation, lots of attempting

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Speaker 1: to spread rumors and mistruths about Vice President Harris and

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Speaker 1: her record and her character and all of these things.

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Speaker 1: And so I think it is really really important for you,

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Speaker 1: as much as you may be wanted tune in right now,

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Speaker 1: and again I'm guilty of this myself, but to be

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Speaker 1: very careful to monitor your engagement and the time that

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Speaker 1: you are spending both online kind of consuming news, but

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Speaker 1: also interacting with different accounts online. So we know for

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Speaker 1: the last presidential election there was an increase in bot

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Speaker 1: activity when people pretending to be black women online and

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Speaker 1: all of these things, attempting to engage with other accounts

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Speaker 1: in bad faith. And so I caution you about interacting

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Speaker 1: with these accounts because a lot of them you can

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Speaker 1: tell because they are like newer accounts, there won't likely

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Speaker 1: be a lot of information on the account. And so

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Speaker 1: as much as it may feel good to kind of

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Speaker 1: try to prove somebody wrong or to tell them where

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Speaker 1: they can get off, it may feel good in the moment,

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Speaker 1: but in the long run, it is likely diminishing your energy,

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Speaker 1: keeping you less focused on the task at hand, and

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Speaker 1: just is likely not a great use of your time.

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Speaker 1: And so I want to encourage you to both be

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Speaker 1: careful and monitor the amount of time that you're spending online,

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Speaker 1: but to also be very careful and to just completely

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Speaker 1: ignore the trolls, right like, just block them and move on,

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Speaker 1: as opposed to engaging with them in any kind of way.

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Speaker 1: The second thing that I will say is that right

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Speaker 1: now we will have to dig deeper into our reserves

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Speaker 1: of joy, our reserves of play, our reserves of frolicking,

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Speaker 1: because digging deep into our reserve is what allows us

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Speaker 1: to kind of wake up and fight another day. And

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Speaker 1: so in those moments where you find yourself laughing or

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Speaker 1: playing with friends on the weekend, or you know, dilly

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Speaker 1: dealing with your kids or kids in your community, make

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Speaker 1: sure that you savor those moments and take those moments

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Speaker 1: whenever you can, because again, building up those reserves is

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Speaker 1: what will allow us to keep fighting and doing what

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Speaker 1: we need to do, as black women often do, to

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Speaker 1: kind of save this country. And I think that that

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Speaker 1: leads me to my other point around this idea of

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Speaker 1: like black women saving something, and I understand like the

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Speaker 1: resentment and the why do we have to keep doing this?

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Speaker 1: And I think an interesting reframe or something I want

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Speaker 1: to offer it to you is that it is not

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Speaker 1: necessarily about saving other people. It is really about saving ourselves,

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Speaker 1: and then as a byproduct, other people kind of get

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Speaker 1: the benefit of that. If we focus more on what

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Speaker 1: we need to do to actually save ourselves and our

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Speaker 1: loved ones in our community, then I think that that

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Speaker 1: is a more helpful kind of framing of that idea

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Speaker 1: than it really is about saving anybody else. So I

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Speaker 1: want to offer that to you as well. I also

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Speaker 1: think again going back to my point around really leaning

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Speaker 1: into community and not feeling like you have to do

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Speaker 1: any of this alone. And if you need to step

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Speaker 1: back and let somebody else kind of take the front

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Speaker 1: rolls for some time, it's okay to do that. But

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Speaker 1: I think that that is what it means to be

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Speaker 1: in community and to actively engage in community, is that

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Speaker 1: everybody doesn't have to be on the front row. At

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Speaker 1: the same time, there are other people that are needed

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Speaker 1: in the back rows and in the kitchens and in

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Speaker 1: the schools, in all of those places. And so really

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Speaker 1: getting intentional and serious about either continuing to foster and

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Speaker 1: build community where you are or getting started at building community,

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Speaker 1: because again, and the only way that we are going

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Speaker 1: to get through this is together and so really look

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Speaker 1: around at how can you be active in your community?

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Speaker 1: What kinds of people can you build community with so

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Speaker 1: that you can be in it for the long haul.

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Speaker 1: I also think that a really important part of this,

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Speaker 1: when you feel ready, is to actually get involved. Right. So,

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Speaker 1: you already heard me reference the Win with Black Women

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Speaker 1: organization that was founded by Joe Taka Edie. Those calls

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Speaker 1: have been happening, I believe, for the last four plus years,

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Speaker 1: and so this one most recently was, of course heavily publicized,

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Speaker 1: but those calls kind of happen on a weekly basis,

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Speaker 1: And so if you're looking to get involved with that organization,

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Speaker 1: we will share that information in the show notes. The

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Speaker 1: Instagram account is Win with Black Women. I believe there

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Speaker 1: will be future calls for you to get involved with

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Speaker 1: and marching orders. Right, so, what kinds of things can

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Speaker 1: you do in your local communities to actually get people

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Speaker 1: registered to vote, get people to the polls, and really

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Speaker 1: help to bring people into this election cycle because we

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Speaker 1: are desperately going to need it. But like I said,

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Speaker 1: you can do that when you are ready. Now we

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Speaker 1: don't have very much time. We only have one hundred

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Speaker 1: or so days before this election. But again, I do

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Speaker 1: want you to know that it is okay to kind

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Speaker 1: of sit with whatever you're feeling, like the shock and

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Speaker 1: the awe and the oh my goodness of it all.

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Speaker 1: If you are not at excitement, and even if you

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Speaker 1: never get to excitement, all of that is okay. And

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Speaker 1: so again, I think it is often our impulse to

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Speaker 1: kind of jump into action and just kind of do

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Speaker 1: do do, But I also want us to make space

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Speaker 1: to feel and to just sit with all the things

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Speaker 1: that are coming up for us at this time. So,

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Speaker 1: like I said, I didn't want this to be a

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Speaker 1: long episode. I just wanted to check in because I

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Speaker 1: have been feeling frazzled and imagine that many of you

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Speaker 1: were as well, and so I would love to hear

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Speaker 1: your feedback, to hear what kinds of things are you

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Speaker 1: doing to kind of shore yourself up, How are you

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Speaker 1: feeling kind of in the wake of this announcement. Are

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Speaker 1: there other ways that you know that we can get

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Speaker 1: involved so that we can do what we need to

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Speaker 1: do for the community when the time is right. So

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Speaker 1: please continue to share this episode with your friends. Be

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Speaker 1: sure to text it to two of your girls right

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Speaker 1: now so that they can also weigh in with their

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Speaker 1: other topics that you want to discuss or other guests

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Speaker 1: that you feel like we need to hear from right now.

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Speaker 1: Please send that to us. You can do that at

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Speaker 1: podcasts at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. I do hope

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Speaker 1: that you will continue to do what you need to

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Speaker 1: do to take care of yourself right now and to

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Speaker 1: take care of your loved ones, because that is critically important.

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Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Alice Ellis and Zaria Taylor.

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Speaker 1: Editing was done by Dennison Bradberd. If you're looking for

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Speaker 1: a therapist in your area, be sure to visit our

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Speaker 1: therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. And if

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Speaker 1: you want to can continuing these kinds of conversations or

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Speaker 1: just be in community with other sisters, which is so

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Speaker 1: important right now, you can come on over and join

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Speaker 1: us at community dot Therapy for BlackGirl dot com to

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Speaker 1: join us in the sister circle. Until next time, take

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Speaker 1: good care. What's