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Speaker 1: I want to ask my girlfriend to sign a prenup

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Speaker 1: because she's a gold digger. Hey, so, I twenty six

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Speaker 1: mail have been dating my girlfriend, twenty five female for

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Speaker 1: a little over a year, and this is something my

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Speaker 1: mom and some friends have mentioned to me. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from Choice Evidence nineteen eighty three on the

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime subvert it.

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Speaker 2: So.

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Speaker 1: I have a great job and make about ninety five

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Speaker 1: thousand dollars a year. I have a comfortable savings of

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Speaker 1: a few thousand. I own my house and two cars

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Speaker 1: well twenty twelve Akira MDX and twenty fifteen Cadillac Ats.

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Speaker 2: Okay we flegs around, Okay, we get it. Missed the

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Speaker 2: big bag, mister money bags. I also make twelve hundred

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Speaker 2: dollars a month in rent. She currently works part time

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Speaker 2: at a bar. She has mentioned before about me adding

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Speaker 2: her to the title of my house, to which I

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Speaker 2: told her I would not as she doesn't contribute anything

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Speaker 2: to it. I purchased my second car two months ago

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Speaker 2: as the first one was paid off, and I told

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Speaker 2: her she could drive my old car, but she wanted

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Speaker 2: me to sell it and use the money to help

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Speaker 2: her buy a car for her. I also declined this request,

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Speaker 2: but instead offer to help her buy a cheaper car

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Speaker 2: off by and sell as I'm not sure how my

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Speaker 2: new car would fare in the winter. She's gotten really

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Speaker 2: upset about those two instances. She also asks for designer.

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Speaker 1: Handbags, often three thousand dollars, to which I say no,

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Speaker 1: as I feel like it's a waste of money. It's

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Speaker 1: not that I have a problem spending money on her,

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Speaker 1: as smaller gifts that are on smaller gifts that are

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Speaker 1: more than reasonable. I have no issue with that. I

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Speaker 1: don't plan on marrying her any time soon. But would

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Speaker 1: I be the a hole for asking her to sign

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Speaker 1: a prenup if we ever got married and there is

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Speaker 1: an update?

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Speaker 3: Does it sound unreasonable?

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Speaker 1: I don't think it sounds unreasonable, but like, do you

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Speaker 1: really want to get married to her?

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Speaker 3: That was my next question. Yeah, that was my next question.

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Speaker 1: It seems like he's kind of pushing it off anyway,

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Speaker 1: So I feel like, if if you're all I think

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Speaker 1: there are some circumstances where people have prena just as

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Speaker 1: a like super cautionary.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not gonna let that government tell me how

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Speaker 3: to split my assets.

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Speaker 1: Just like like we're just gonna double double make sure this. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: as okay, But in this instance, it feels like he

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Speaker 1: already knows her, you know, tendency, her tendency to ask

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Speaker 1: for money. I don't know if you went on Tory

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Speaker 1: you impressed by her job either. No, he seems pretty

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Speaker 1: like like he's making a lot of critiques. Yeah, on

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Speaker 1: her spending habits and just the fact that she's not

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Speaker 1: really bringing in as much income as him. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: need a pros and consoles here. Yeah, what's what's in it?

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Speaker 1: Let's you know, what does she bring to this relationship?

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Speaker 1: But there is an update, so maybe maybe he'll lisbra

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Speaker 1: and crows the break up. I know what it's done.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't edit my previous post, so I've revised it here.

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Speaker 1: So I was planning on doing this conversation with my

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Speaker 1: girlfriend on Saturday, when neither of us needed to worry

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Speaker 1: about work. This is going to be a bit longer

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Speaker 1: than my original as well. Also, to the people who

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Speaker 1: were saying that I'm not as rich as I think

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Speaker 1: I am, I know, damn well, I'm not rich by

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Speaker 1: any stretch of the imagination. The things I listed were

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Speaker 1: to give an example as to how far out some

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Speaker 1: of her requests have been I think that kind of

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Speaker 1: even him not being super uber wealthy kind of proves

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Speaker 1: his point more. Yeah, that she's making a lot of

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Speaker 1: kind of unreasonable requests for money, like three thousand dollars bags,

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Speaker 1: asking for him to buy her a car. He doesn't

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Speaker 1: necessarily have that type.

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Speaker 3: She's comfortable. Comfortable don't mean he doesn't have like.

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Speaker 1: The fu money.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, oh, I can pay for dinner without

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Speaker 3: having to worry about it.

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Speaker 1: Cool exactly, He's like I can't.

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Speaker 3: Oh, he can pay for dinner.

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Speaker 1: He can also pay for my three thousand dollars bag

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Speaker 1: Gucci bag. Thank you. I got home at around midnight,

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Speaker 1: and she got home around three thirty am after her

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Speaker 1: shift at the bar. She wasn't in the best of

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Speaker 1: moods and started to say how things aren't like they

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Speaker 1: were before. I agreed with her and then asked her

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Speaker 1: how how long she was planning on staying at the

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Speaker 1: bar and if she was going to look for a

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Speaker 1: more full time or reliable job. Also, it's pretty beach

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Speaker 1: says he doesn't have chicken money. I just want to

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Speaker 1: foind that out. She told me she wants to be

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Speaker 1: a realtor and a year or two, and I asked

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Speaker 1: her when she decided that. She told me about a

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Speaker 1: week ago. I wasn't trying to pressure her, but I

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Speaker 1: asked her what steps she needed to take in order

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Speaker 1: to make it happen. She didn't give me a full

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Speaker 1: answer and just mentioned that she was talking to a

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Speaker 1: lady who worked as a realtor who was at the

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Speaker 1: bar a few weeks ago. I told her I was

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Speaker 1: happy she had a goal that she was aiming for.

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Speaker 1: She then said she wanted to buy an apartment herself

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Speaker 1: next year, as she wants to live by herself for

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Speaker 1: a bit. I asked her how she was going to

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Speaker 1: manage getting it, and she asked if I'd help. It's

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Speaker 1: funny because she's like, oh, I want to be independent,

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Speaker 1: but also can you pay for it?

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Speaker 3: I don't like that.

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Speaker 1: It seems like she wants a sugar father, but he

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Speaker 1: is he doesn't have the sugar daddy money.

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Speaker 3: Wait, what's the age difference?

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Speaker 1: Twenty No? Oh, he's only twenty six and she's twenty five.

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Speaker 1: He is not He is not bro.

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Speaker 3: Can we get a pole dump or I'm gonna say

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Speaker 3: it nah, because everyone understands what nad means in the

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Speaker 3: check correct, nah, dump.

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Speaker 1: Or no, do not dump? To dump or not to dump?

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Speaker 1: That is the question. I asked her how she was

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Speaker 1: going to manage getting it, and she asked if i'd help.

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Speaker 1: I asked her, just as an estimate, if I was

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Speaker 1: to help, what percentage I would be contributing, and she.

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Speaker 2: Said, how about eighty's all of it?

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Speaker 1: That's like, that's.

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Speaker 3: Still wight as well just do the whole thing, right

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Speaker 3: as well?

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Speaker 1: Do one hundred? Why she's like eighty, But also, can

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Speaker 1: you pay for my groceries? This is crazy? He's a twenty.

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Speaker 3: Six year old dude. I would I'd get out of there.

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Speaker 1: And also I feel like, I mean, ninety five thousand

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Speaker 1: is a good salary for a year, but this is

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Speaker 1: also really dependent on where they live. This is true

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Speaker 1: because you know, I have friends in New York who

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Speaker 1: are getting paid like around seventy five thousand dollars a year,

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Speaker 1: but they're playing like two thousand dollars in rent, so

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Speaker 1: it's like all of their money is going. This is

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Speaker 1: where things started to take a turn. I said, I

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Speaker 1: don't think that would be fair, as if she decided

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Speaker 1: to sell it, the money would go fifty to fifty.

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Speaker 1: She didn't have anything to say to that. So I

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Speaker 1: asked her, if you went out on your own and

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Speaker 1: purchased that apartment, used all the money you worked for,

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Speaker 1: and then I came in, married you, and left, how

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Speaker 1: comfortable would you be selling it? She said she wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be comfortable with it. I tried to explain, that's how

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Speaker 1: I felt with some of the things she mentioned to me.

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Speaker 1: She told me the guy is supposed to provide, and

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Speaker 1: while I don't disagree with the statement, I thought back

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Speaker 1: to a lot of comments on my last post of

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Speaker 1: some ladies who were saying they make more than their husband,

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Speaker 1: and they were for the idea of the prenup, not

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Speaker 1: because he couldn't provide, but as asset protection. I also

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Speaker 1: told her that some of her previous comments, such as

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Speaker 1: being on the deed to my house and me selling

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Speaker 1: my car to buy her one, made me uneasy. She

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Speaker 1: told me I was lying about the car because she

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Speaker 1: corrected me and said she asked me to trade it

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Speaker 1: in for a new car for her. It's not really

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Speaker 1: how car, It's not how cars were. She's like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I didn't ask you to sell it. I said, trade

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Speaker 1: it in for a better car, and then you have

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Speaker 1: to also pay for the difference. She's just said of

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Speaker 1: making things up.

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Speaker 3: She's entitled.

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Speaker 1: She's very entitled. And also just the oh, well the

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Speaker 1: man is supposed to provide, there are I mean, you know,

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Speaker 1: everyone has their own relationship dynamic, and if you both

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Speaker 1: agreed to that, that's fine. Yeah, However it's like they

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Speaker 1: didn't agree. He didn't agree to this, he didn't agree

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Speaker 1: to it, and she's just expecting him to do that,

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Speaker 1: which is not okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, if the man does s broad it's a team effort.

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Speaker 3: It's like, okay, I provide, but like you're also like

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Speaker 3: providing this.

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Speaker 1: And that and the other.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: There, it's always you want to make it as equal

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Speaker 1: as possible. If someone's providing all of the monetary things,

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Speaker 1: how are you, you know, maybe you're doing the house

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Speaker 1: chores if you're a stay at home parent or something

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Speaker 1: like that. This is where I asked her, what do

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Speaker 1: you think of a prenup agreement for if we get married?

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Speaker 1: She started crying, saying I didn't trust her and that

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Speaker 1: I was already planning on leaving her if that's what

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Speaker 1: I had on mind, I told her that's not the case.

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Speaker 1: We can both have one. I used a lot of

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Speaker 1: examples people mentioned to me recently, such as her winning

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Speaker 1: the lottery, getting a great job, or receiving an inheritance.

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Speaker 1: It is protection for both of us. She didn't say

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Speaker 1: anything to what I said. Instead just looked away and said,

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Speaker 1: I'm all by myself again. Now she's just guilting him.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah, she was still crying. She

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Speaker 1: asked if I would ask if I would have asked

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Speaker 1: someone who made more money than her to sign one

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Speaker 1: as well. I told her, I don't think I'd get

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Speaker 1: married without one. At this point, I brought up how

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Speaker 1: the number one reason for divorce is rooted to finances

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Speaker 1: and we don't see eye to eye on anything in

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Speaker 1: that field.

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Speaker 3: That's pretty smart. What that He brought that up, Like, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that the forces happening because of finances.

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Speaker 1: He's like he's trying to make it seem which I

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Speaker 1: think it is in his case, like just not like

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Speaker 1: a personal thing. It's just purely smart, Like it's a

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Speaker 1: smart move to make here, and she's making it like

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Speaker 1: super difficult for him because she wants to take his money.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and everyone in the chat earlier said dump him

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Speaker 3: on hundred percent dump him.

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Speaker 1: Indeed, she asked what I meant. I asked her how

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Speaker 1: much she's seen me spend on myself in the last year,

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Speaker 1: and after a minute of thinking, she said almost nothing.

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Speaker 1: I asked her if she had a closet and drawers

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Speaker 1: to the point they don't close or open, and why

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Speaker 1: she kept wanting new clothes. She told me it's for

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Speaker 1: her mental health. Then asked me if I even cared

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Speaker 1: about her mental health. She's like, I need my Gucci bag.

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Speaker 1: It makes me happy.

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Speaker 3: I'm sec a pattern where she needs to buy things

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Speaker 3: in order to feel good about herself.

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Speaker 1: Yes, which is not like he shouldn't have to fund

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Speaker 1: that life.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I told her I did immensely care about her mental health,

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Speaker 1: as I hate seeing her sad, but also told her

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Speaker 1: that spending money to try and make yourself happy is

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Speaker 1: a temporary fix and it will be a repeating cycle.

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Speaker 1: This was close to six thirty am, and she told

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Speaker 1: me that I should get some rest before work, as

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Speaker 1: I leave at one to drive to work. So the

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Speaker 1: conversation ended there and we both tried to sleep. I

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Speaker 1: left out one topic from her conversation that was prevalent

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Speaker 1: in my previous post about intimacy. We did discuss it, though,

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Speaker 1: and we talked more after I woke up around nine Saturday.

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Speaker 1: I'll be rabbing my stuff from her place and we'll

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Speaker 1: be going our separate ways. Woo wow, that was a

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Speaker 1: jump alright. Thanks to everyone's opinions who commented on my

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Speaker 1: previous post. I know I might not have handled the

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Speaker 1: situation perfectly, but this conversation with her was probably the

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Speaker 1: hardest talk talk I've ever had to have. I hope

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Speaker 1: this is easier to read a post to the wall

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Speaker 1: of text I had earlier. Sorry to the people who

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Speaker 1: commented on the last one. And that is the end

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Speaker 1: of this story. I think that is the right move, though. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't think they're compatible. I think she wants I

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Speaker 1: think she wants like someone who's going to provide for everything,

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Speaker 1: and he one doesn't want to and also is in

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Speaker 1: the stage of his life where he can. Yeah, so

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Speaker 1: she needs to go find an older gentleman.

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Speaker 3: Or wait for him super rich like staground for a

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Speaker 3: few years and then let him be a sugar daddy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Right, now he's just a sugar sapling. Yeah, sugar sapling

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Speaker 3: that's climbing in the rough. Also, I saw a comment

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Speaker 3: earlier Bob Smith, we love lurkers and we love you.

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Speaker 1: Oh, we do love we love you. But that is

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Speaker 1: the end of that story. My girlfriend is obsessed with

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Speaker 1: true crime, but now she's taken it too far?

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Speaker 5: Is she?

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Speaker 1: Is she crime?

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Speaker 5: Well, let's find out.

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Speaker 1: Just a preface, I'm new to read it as of

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Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago. I don't really have anyone

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Speaker 1: to talk about this too, and the final option I

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Speaker 1: could think of was to create an account and lurk

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Speaker 1: around while trying to find any situations that might be

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Speaker 1: similar to mine. But I can't seem to find anything,

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Speaker 1: so I'm breaking down and making a post. Sorry if

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Speaker 1: formatting is weird since I'm on mobile, and sorry if

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Speaker 1: it's all post By the way. This comes from Ashamed

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Speaker 1: Village ninety one to fifty five on the r slash

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Speaker 1: Okay Storytime Separate. I twenty nine male, have a serious

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Speaker 1: girlfriend twenty eight female of little over a year, who

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Speaker 1: I'll referred to as J. We have a lot of

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Speaker 1: mutual friends and generally share the same friend group, which

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Speaker 1: is how we met, so I don't want to risk

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Speaker 1: going to any of my friends about this, not that

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Speaker 1: I think they'd have any idea what to tell me anyway,

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Speaker 1: and I'm afraid they'd start to see her or treat

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Speaker 1: her differently. Anyway. We've gotten really serious over the last

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Speaker 1: six months or so, to the point that we've been

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Speaker 1: looking into apartments and even picked out a couple of options. Man,

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Speaker 1: my current lease ends next month and hers will be

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Speaker 1: up in November, so it's kind of perfect timing. We

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Speaker 1: both have decent jobs and make comparable money. Agreed to

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Speaker 1: go fifty to fifty on all costs for the foreseeable future,

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Speaker 1: all that good adult stuff. I've been really really excited

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Speaker 1: to start this new chapter with her. I even started

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Speaker 1: casually looking at rings a couple months ago. Oh whoa

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Speaker 1: six months into the relationship.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it was at the timetable. They said they like

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Speaker 4: they they've been getting serious.

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Speaker 5: Over the past six months.

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Speaker 4: I don't think the timetable of how long they've been together,

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Speaker 4: I believe been together.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, sorry, you're a little over a year. Year.

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Speaker 1: But a year yeah, I mean a year is still

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Speaker 1: pretty quick.

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Speaker 5: I don't even know people like that, you know, anybody.

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Speaker 5: I don't even know anyone.

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Speaker 1: I even started casually looking at rings a couple months ago,

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Speaker 1: because honestly, I feel like she's the one for me. Also,

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Speaker 1: that implies that he was doing it around six months

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Speaker 1: that's yeah. Wow, he's really into her. She's smart, beautiful, funny,

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Speaker 1: loved by nearly everyone she meets, and just overall the

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Speaker 1: best person I've ever met. Let alone dated now onto

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Speaker 1: the issue. About two weeks ago, I was spending the

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Speaker 1: weekend at her place. We usually alternate weekends at one

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Speaker 1: another's apartments and sometimes spend week nights together. I ended

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Speaker 1: up catching some kind of stomach bug or something on

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Speaker 1: Sunday and took a sick day off work on Monday.

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Speaker 1: Julia invited me to stay at her apartment until at

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Speaker 1: least Monday night, since I still wasn't feeling well enough

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Speaker 1: to drive back home, and she was really sweet about

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Speaker 1: it and offered to take care of me, make me soup,

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Speaker 1: all that good stuff. I love suit.

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Speaker 5: She sounds great, sounds great, she sounds like the one.

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Speaker 1: She works ten to six on Mondays. So I was

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Speaker 1: in the apartment alone during that time. I mostly slept

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Speaker 1: and spent time in the bathroom. That sucks, but at

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Speaker 1: one point I didn't make it to the toilet in time. Oh,

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Speaker 1: and made a pretty gross mess on her bathroom floor.

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Speaker 1: I really didn't want to leave it for her to

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Speaker 1: deal with, so I called to ask if she didn't

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Speaker 1: really care about that I could use to clean up

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Speaker 1: the mess. She didn't answer because she was busy at

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Speaker 1: work and not near her phone. So I went digging

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Speaker 1: through her linen closet, looking behind all the really good

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Speaker 1: towels and blankets to find the rattier and stained ones.

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Speaker 1: They ended up being on the top shelf, and I

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Speaker 1: was weak and frustrated, so when I pulled them down,

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Speaker 1: a couple other things that were stuff up there came

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Speaker 1: falling down, including a shoe box I had never seen before.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, why would you see the shoebox tucked away?

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Speaker 1: So it's so tucked away. I really don't like going

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Speaker 1: through her things when she's not around, because we respect

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Speaker 1: each other's privacy and I completely trust her. But as

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Speaker 1: I was cleaning up what I had spilled, I happened

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Speaker 1: to notice something odd and I just couldn't help but

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Speaker 1: be a little nosy. It was an envelope addressed to her,

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Speaker 1: and the return address was a prison in another state.

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Speaker 3: Whoah oh, no, how into true crime is she?

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Speaker 5: Like I said earlier, she is the true crime.

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Speaker 1: She's the true crime. As I looked at the other

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Speaker 1: stuff in the shoe box, I found way more envelopes

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Speaker 1: just like it, as well as some drawings. I'll admit,

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Speaker 1: in a moment of weakness, I could not help myself.

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Speaker 1: I had to see what was going on. This is

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Speaker 1: where I feel the need to explain that I found

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Speaker 1: it so odd because she has told me everything about

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Speaker 1: her past, her family, her childhood. I can name every

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Speaker 1: pet she's ever had. I've met her parents, both of

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Speaker 1: her siblings, and quite a few of her cousins, aunts

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Speaker 1: and uncles, and not once has anyone, least of all

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Speaker 1: her told me about knowing anyone in prison, let alone

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Speaker 1: communicating with them. Who do you think it is? It's

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Speaker 1: probably like an ex an ex in prison.

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Speaker 5: Who maybe did some We're gonna find out.

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Speaker 6: I need.

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Speaker 1: I need to know when the letters were addressed.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, they might be old, may be really old.

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Speaker 1: So as it turns out, these letters dated back way

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Speaker 1: before we ever started dating, and the most recent was

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Speaker 1: from about three months ago, so when they were dad.

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Speaker 1: Obviously I didn't see the ones she sent, but the

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00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,920
Speaker 1: ones she received were very affectionate, for lack of a

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00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:56,160
Speaker 1: better term, like something long distant lovers would write to

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Speaker 1: each other. I know Julia has a big interest in

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Speaker 1: true crime and listens to a lot of podcasts, watches

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Speaker 1: a lot of documentaries.

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Speaker 4: All that stuff got is she like fangirling? Is Julia

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Speaker 4: fangirling over like.

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Speaker 1: Nothing really unusual since it seems like a ton of

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Speaker 1: women are really into true crime these days. But I

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Speaker 1: recognize this guy's name pretty quickly, and knowing what he

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Speaker 1: did and finding out my girlfriend, who I adore and

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Speaker 1: love so deeply, actually talks to him this way is

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Speaker 1: really effing with my head. Oh no, this is like

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Speaker 1: wasn't there that whole thing with the do you know,

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Speaker 1: like the ceial guy uh who like had a bunch

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Speaker 1: of people fangirling over him or something, do you know

378
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Speaker 1: what I'm talking about? It was like the whole thing

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Speaker 1: Maybe I can't remember, But this is like a thing.

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Speaker 5: I know, This is just a thing that people really.

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Speaker 6: Like, Yeah, which is insane, those true crime things and

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Speaker 6: like like get really really into it, like the Dahmer

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Speaker 6: stuff and like yeah, really because E fanticizing this truly?

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Speaker 1: See why are we romanticized into people.

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Speaker 5: I get it. It's very it's very interesting, and.

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Speaker 1: I think there's like a I think there is a

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Speaker 1: certain level of like macabre.

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00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:13,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, like interest in things. Me with Star Wars, Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I'm like, WHOA so into it? But like I like.

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Speaker 1: Horror and you know, I like I've watched, like I

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Speaker 1: would see Mine hun Have you seen them show? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Mine Hunters is great show. But I think there is

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Speaker 1: a certain level where definitely this it goes way too

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Speaker 1: far and it's like you should not be romanticized.

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Speaker 4: I see that little thing where it's like people are

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Speaker 4: really really invested into the true crime stuff is just

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Speaker 4: it's actually like a big red flag.

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Speaker 1: I think. I think there's a certain point.

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Speaker 5: To anyone who loves true crime, but like.

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Speaker 4: You're to a certain extent, Yeah, you can be really

401
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 4: into it and like appreciate it, but if you're a romanticizing.

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Speaker 1: It, yeah, if you're like, oh that person, yeah, oh.

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Speaker 5: I don't see what Dahmer did was.

404
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 1: Like oh he's so hot, like blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah,

405
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Speaker 1: it's like what do you not hear yourself? Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: really I don't know, this is very interesting. This is not.

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Speaker 1: If I found this about a partner, I would I

408
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Speaker 1: would be so worried for my safety, honestly.

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Speaker 4: Especially the way they're talking, I mean, getting the actual

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Speaker 4: it could be like a pen pal thing.

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Speaker 5: We don't but it seems.

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Speaker 1: Like it's reciprocated, like she's sending stuff and he's sending

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Speaker 1: stuff back.

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Speaker 4: I mean, obviously, if I were in prison and I

415
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Speaker 4: haven't seen or talk to anybody of the.

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Speaker 1: This person's talking to med.

417
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Speaker 5: Be like I'm gonna I'm gonna shoot my shot.

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Speaker 1: I won't name the guy specifically in case that violates

419
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:39,800
Speaker 1: some kind of rule on here, what come on, but

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Speaker 1: let's just say his case was huge and fairly recent,

421
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,639
Speaker 1: like with like within the last five years, and is

422
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Speaker 1: very brutally ert and his pregnant wife and two kids.

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Speaker 4: And your girlfriend is talking even that she's talking to him,

424
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:56,320
Speaker 4: talking to him.

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00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:58,800
Speaker 5: He just needs a little He just needs a little hand.

426
00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:01,919
Speaker 1: Just like I can fix him what. I ended up

427
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,080
Speaker 1: reading through about three or four of the letters until

428
00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:06,920
Speaker 1: they literally made me sick. The stomach bug didn't help

429
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 1: with that, but even now I feel nauseous just thinking

430
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:14,160
Speaker 1: about it. That sucks. Imagine, Yeah, literally, Op, he's sick ill,

431
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 1: you're throwing up, and then he finds this.

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Speaker 5: Stomach falls drops.

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00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Then I put everything back just the

434
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Speaker 1: way i'd found it, cleaned up my mess in the bathroom,

435
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 1: and drove myself home. I texted her and made up

436
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Speaker 1: an excuse that I was feeling better enough to get

437
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Speaker 1: myself home and that I just wanted to sleep in

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Speaker 1: my own bed so I could return to work as

439
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,879
Speaker 1: usual the next day. But honestly, I could hardly bear

440
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 1: to look at her afterwards. Since then, we've spent a

441
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,520
Speaker 1: few days together, but I've made up excuses as to

442
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 1: why I've been too busy to spend much time with her.

443
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:47,959
Speaker 5: You wouldn't bring it up.

444
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,960
Speaker 1: I think you have to. I mean, he's probably like,

445
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,160
Speaker 1: I don't know how to tell her, like I don't

446
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 1: know how to.

447
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 5: Talk the shoe boxes like.

448
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 1: I'd like, yeah, it's on the table or something. I

449
00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,199
Speaker 1: think you need to talk to you about this. In

450
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 1: all honesty, I really want to talk to her about this,

451
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,159
Speaker 1: but I'm afraid she'll lie. I mean, you have proof

452
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,440
Speaker 1: or I don't know. I'm even more afraid I guess

453
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,359
Speaker 1: that she'll tell me the truth and expect me to

454
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,240
Speaker 1: be okay with it. The TMA says, you got to

455
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 1: talk to her and be like WTF and don't take

456
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 1: you invaded my privacy as a Yeah, this is.

457
00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:19,959
Speaker 5: Way too serious.

458
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,200
Speaker 1: He's like, I don't even care. I'm glad that I

459
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,080
Speaker 1: advaded your privacy in this instance.

460
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:24,879
Speaker 5: Because I didn't invade it.

461
00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, would you have ever told me? Would you have

462
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 1: kept he would contact with it?

463
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 5: No crazy stuff. So I don't think he was ever

464
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:34,320
Speaker 5: getting out of the prison.

465
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 4: Can you imagine he got bailed out and then I'm

466
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 4: gonna go see you.

467
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 1: I think there is that kind of thing of like knowing.

468
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:45,919
Speaker 1: It's that kind of weird obsession where you know someone's

469
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 1: behind bars and you're like, oh, I can you know?

470
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:50,720
Speaker 1: This is not at all excusing this behavior, But I

471
00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:53,400
Speaker 1: think it's like the psyche of like people like, oh,

472
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,199
Speaker 1: it's not like it's not going to progress into a

473
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 1: real thing, but I get to engage in these like fantasies.

474
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 1: He's really yeah, yeah, which is so messed up.

475
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 5: Again.

476
00:22:02,840 --> 00:22:10,840
Speaker 4: I justize criminals, especially murderers.

477
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:15,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, very weird, very itchy ikey. I still love

478
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 1: her deeply. I miss her every hour of every day,

479
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,680
Speaker 1: and I've been sleeping like crap and super distracted throughout

480
00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,439
Speaker 1: the day trying to figure out how to handle this.

481
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:28,119
Speaker 1: I can't talk to anyone about it. I really really

482
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 1: do not want to just end the relationship over this.

483
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,080
Speaker 5: You kind of have to, but again, you have to

484
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 5: talk to talk first.

485
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,560
Speaker 4: You should talk to I'm done because that that may

486
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:37,399
Speaker 4: drive things.

487
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:41,040
Speaker 1: We need to talk to her, there's all you know.

488
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,320
Speaker 1: You need to hear what's going on. I genuinely see

489
00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:46,400
Speaker 1: a future with this woman. I love her with all

490
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 1: my heart and I don't know that I will ever

491
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: find anyone anyone else I care about this much. But

492
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,360
Speaker 1: how do I move past this? Is there a part

493
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:56,439
Speaker 1: of it I'm not considering. I know most of you

494
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:59,280
Speaker 1: will probably say just talk to her, and I know

495
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 1: that's logic, the best plan. But at the same time,

496
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,640
Speaker 1: what if she confesses to be in love to being

497
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:09,120
Speaker 1: in love with the sick effing serial alert didn't get out?

498
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:12,000
Speaker 5: Then if she confesses that.

499
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 4: That I'm one she's in love with somebody else, yeah,

500
00:23:14,280 --> 00:23:19,000
Speaker 4: but also two, she's in love with the worst else.

501
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 1: Yeah. This dude hurt his entire family in cold blood?

502
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,400
Speaker 1: How could she even entertain the idea of writing dim

503
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:30,000
Speaker 1: let alone those kinds of letters. Maybe it's just morbid

504
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:32,640
Speaker 1: curiosity on her part. And if I do just talk

505
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 1: to her about it, what do I say? How do

506
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 1: I even approach the subject. But you guys can approach

507
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,200
Speaker 1: us live every weekday at three pm PST. Just tap

508
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:43,919
Speaker 1: her profile. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and before

509
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,520
Speaker 1: any of the paranoid people pop in. No, I do

510
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 1: not think she has been or whatever cheat on me.

511
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 1: I don't know if even if I even consider this cheating.

512
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,080
Speaker 1: Since it's just letters and they'll never realistically meet face.

513
00:23:54,880 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 5: To emotionally, it's still cheating.

514
00:23:57,200 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 1: I mean, I think obviously to a lesser not so

515
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: you know, scary degree. This is like if you're talking

516
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,000
Speaker 1: to a person on like you know, a corn hub

517
00:24:07,080 --> 00:24:09,600
Speaker 1: or something like that, where you're reaching out to a

518
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:11,440
Speaker 1: person who's not necessari you're never gonna get with.

519
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, like you knowf and stuff like that.

520
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, but just the idea that she would want to

521
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 1: correspond with this guy is sickening to me. How do

522
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,800
Speaker 1: we get past it? Maybe she just needs some serious

523
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,760
Speaker 1: therapy for some sort of issues she never realized she has.

524
00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm truly at a loss here. Thanks

525
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 1: for reading. That is the end of that story.

526
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 4: My girlfriend asked for an open relationship, but now she's

527
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 4: demanding we close it. I've been dating my girlfriend let's

528
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,280
Speaker 4: call her Laura, for about a year and a half now,

529
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,000
Speaker 4: with a short break earlier this year for personal reasons

530
00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:50,639
Speaker 4: for both of us. We have a very romantic and

531
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,880
Speaker 4: loving relationship and we click very well on many levels,

532
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 4: be it emotionally, mentally, or spicily.

533
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 1: Spicily.

534
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,160
Speaker 4: Early this year, we started butting heads about a few

535
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:06,240
Speaker 4: issues we were having and couldn't quite come to terms

536
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 4: with any of them. Oh, this led to us declining

537
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,119
Speaker 4: to take a break, or deciding to take a break

538
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 4: and to figure out what we want. During this break,

539
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 4: we both hooked up with a few other people and

540
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,879
Speaker 4: then reconnected and wanted to get back together. When we

541
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 4: started talking again, we were both also speaking casually to

542
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 4: one other person each.

543
00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 1: Okay, so so far it seems like they've both communicated

544
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:32,399
Speaker 1: what they were allowed to do during this break, So

545
00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:33,680
Speaker 1: I don't think any mistake.

546
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,640
Speaker 4: Seems like it was communicated and like this is the basis. Yeah,

547
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 4: and then let's give back together.

548
00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,920
Speaker 1: And trying take three. It seems run yeah.

549
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user Throwaway nineteen o

550
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 4: seven oh five from the r slash Okay storytime subret So,

551
00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 4: prior to our break we had a monogamous relationship. I

552
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,360
Speaker 4: wanted to have that again, just the two of us

553
00:25:57,359 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 4: so we can focus on it, which is fair. Yeah,

554
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 4: to mention, both of our schedules are hectic and sometimes

555
00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 4: we barely have time to see each other, let alone

556
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 4: adding more people into the mix.

557
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 1: Oh, He's like, I don't even have time to manage.

558
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,200
Speaker 1: I can't do I can't do a non monogamous relationship.

559
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 5: Yeah.

560
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 4: Laura, on the other hand, was not so sure. She

561
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 4: was talking to another guy and didn't really want to

562
00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:24,040
Speaker 4: break things off with him. I couldn't justify demanding she'd

563
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 4: break it off with someone she had been speaking with

564
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:30,359
Speaker 4: for several weeks Oh slept with and possibly wanted to

565
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:31,320
Speaker 4: see where it goes.

566
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,360
Speaker 5: So I said, it's fine, we'll figure it out.

567
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 1: Okay, but I think that if op he wants a

568
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 1: close relationship, he's allowed to ask for that. She can

569
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:42,159
Speaker 1: say no, yeah, but he can also I think he

570
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: can be like, Okay, you know this is what I want,

571
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:46,080
Speaker 1: So maybe this isn't gonna work.

572
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 4: After all, I was still speaking with another girl at

573
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 4: the time, though it wasn't really heading anywhere, and didn't

574
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 4: feel chemistry between us. After a lot of back and

575
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,720
Speaker 4: forth regarding this issue, Laura kept bringing up the idea

576
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 4: of breaking it off with her other guy and us

577
00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 4: being together monogulously.

578
00:27:03,840 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, okay, So conversations have that been having.

579
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:12,720
Speaker 4: Wow. I was thrilled and agreed. She proposed we break

580
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,919
Speaker 4: other things off and be together like old times. So

581
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,120
Speaker 4: the night we had the talk, I messaged my other

582
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 4: gal and told her I didn't think it would work out.

583
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 4: She's very nice, I'm not ready for anything, et cetera,

584
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 4: et cetera. I usually hate doing it over text, but

585
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 4: I don't think she minded anyway.

586
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 5: She was cool with it.

587
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:31,159
Speaker 4: The next day, I told Laura I had ended with

588
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,720
Speaker 4: the other relationship. When I asked her if she had

589
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 4: done the same, No, not yet. I was a bit confused,

590
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:40,880
Speaker 4: but gave her some time to figure it out. Her

591
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 4: excuse was she felt he was really into her and

592
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,880
Speaker 4: didn't quite know how to let him down. All good,

593
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 4: I should mention. During all of this, Laura and I

594
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 4: were hanging out, going on dates and having spicy time

595
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 4: a couple times per week. The other guy did not

596
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:59,399
Speaker 4: know about me, which I wasn't a fan of, but

597
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,480
Speaker 4: she said he wouldn't be in the picture much longer anyway.

598
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:06,199
Speaker 1: No, you gotta you gotta communicate. I think if you

599
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,160
Speaker 1: are being intimate with multiple people, you have to tell

600
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,000
Speaker 1: multiple like you got it.

601
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 5: You gotta tell for a lot of reasons.

602
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like safety safety wise. He also just like

603
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 1: being like a good I.

604
00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:22,119
Speaker 4: Don't know person, like, hey, I have a boyfriend. The

605
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 4: days go by and she still hasn't broke things off,

606
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,680
Speaker 4: until finally she says that maybe we shouldn't force anything

607
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,240
Speaker 4: and just see where everything goes.

608
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: Uh ah, Okay, well now it feels like she just

609
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,280
Speaker 1: wanted him to not be in like an over relationship.

610
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 1: She's like, you broke off your relationship, right.

611
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 5: That sucks.

612
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 4: You had good chemistry. I mean that sucks that we

613
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 4: have good chemistry. But you and your gal Yeah yeah.

614
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 1: No, she just wasn't right for you.

615
00:28:45,920 --> 00:28:50,160
Speaker 4: But my guy, he seems like a good secondary option sometimes.

616
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 4: She said she might be interested in having an open

617
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 4: relationship with me and us being primary partners. Other relationships

618
00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 4: would purely be for spicy time. Although I had an

619
00:29:00,320 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 4: inkling that she had feelings for this guy. I was bummed,

620
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:07,360
Speaker 4: especially since I just made myself single again for her.

621
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:11,880
Speaker 4: I mean, this is yeah, this falls on you as well.

622
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 4: You can't be like, oh, point the finger at her. Yeah,

623
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 4: I also agree to these terms of the contracts.

624
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 1: This is true, but it does. It is pretty frustrating

625
00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 1: that they had that conversation where she said I want

626
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 1: like he for It seems like the timeline is he said, hey,

627
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,400
Speaker 1: love to have Well, yeah, they went on a break

628
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: and then he came back and he said, hey, let's

629
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:36,320
Speaker 1: try this again. I would like to, you know, be

630
00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 1: with you in a monogamous relationship. And she said no,

631
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,360
Speaker 1: and then she said no, and then she said and

632
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: she came back and said, yes, you break off. Let's

633
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 1: break off her stuff. And so he breaks it off,

634
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 1: comes back since I broke it off, and she's.

635
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,200
Speaker 4: Like, oh, I'll get on that.

636
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:55,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then and now she's saying no, she's like I,

637
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 1: which is just a lot of back and which she.

638
00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 4: Reminds me of like the Office where he goes snip snap,

639
00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,440
Speaker 4: snip snap snip staff.

640
00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't recall that episode, but yes, yes, exactly.

641
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, if people remember that. Back to the story.

642
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:15,440
Speaker 4: Now, I'm not really an open relationship kind of guy,

643
00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 4: but I figure if she's out having her fun, I

644
00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,680
Speaker 4: might as well be too. I began chatting with another girl.

645
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 4: There we go, we'll call her Emma on a dating app. Okay,

646
00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 4: we seem to kick it off to a certain extent

647
00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 4: over text. I did, however, make it clear I'm not

648
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 4: looking for a serious romantic relationship. She agreed and said

649
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 4: she's not ready for that either, really just for casual fun.

650
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,160
Speaker 4: Emma stood out to me since she was the one

651
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 4: who actually asked me out for drinks and dinner, which

652
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 4: was a nice change for things. Anyway, we planned it out,

653
00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:49,600
Speaker 4: planned it out to go to a nice diner close

654
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 4: to the both of us and see where the night

655
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 4: takes us. We talked and had lots of laughs and

656
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 4: enjoyed the night, and I ended up going back to

657
00:30:57,200 --> 00:31:00,480
Speaker 4: her place and we hooked up, though no full of course,

658
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:05,719
Speaker 4: mostly oral lo and behold. The next morning, Laura texts

659
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 4: me telling me that she had broken things off with

660
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,240
Speaker 4: her guy God and wants tomous.

661
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: This is so frustrating.

662
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 4: Both thenestly, this is wish m call out that situation

663
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 4: from friends which one.

664
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 1: Except this is both of them going back and forth

665
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 1: and back and forth. It's every night.

666
00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 5: It's like we're on a break. We were not on

667
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 5: a break.

668
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:33,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, I think what op he needs, like op

669
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: he needs to figure out what he wants, because I.

670
00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 4: Think they both need to figure out, yes, absolutely what

671
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 4: they want, but they're not they're not doing it.

672
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, but let's do the opposite.

673
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,440
Speaker 1: Just because we know what. Like Opie's point of view,

674
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 1: it's it does seem like what you were saying of

675
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:47,800
Speaker 1: him trying to get back at her. He's like, oh, well,

676
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,760
Speaker 1: she's doing it yea, even though he said that he

677
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 1: wants a close relationship, the monamous like he's not. He's

678
00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 1: not doing anything wrong because those are the parameters of

679
00:31:58,120 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 1: the relationship.

680
00:31:58,680 --> 00:31:59,720
Speaker 5: And they both of them.

681
00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if he actually wants to be in a

682
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 1: monogous relationship, I just don't understand.

683
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:07,640
Speaker 4: The stand your ground, stand your ground. Geez, what timing.

684
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 4: I told her about the date with Emma, and she

685
00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,680
Speaker 4: was not at all happy. She immediately said I should

686
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:15,640
Speaker 4: stop talking Emma, break it off, et cetera, but eventually

687
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 4: eased up and told me, I need to figure out

688
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 4: what I want At this point, I wasn't sure because

689
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,560
Speaker 4: I did like Emma to a degree and we got

690
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 4: along well and the spicy stuff was lots of fun

691
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:28,200
Speaker 4: for both, but a big part of me still wanted

692
00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 4: to be with Laura exclusively. I asked if I could

693
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 4: take some time to think, and she begrudgingly agreed. Emma

694
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 4: and I continued to talk, and I continued to think.

695
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,200
Speaker 4: It was tough being in this sort of dynamic, which

696
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 4: I'd never been in before, and being forced to make

697
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 4: a decision now. I could feel how Laura felt when

698
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,480
Speaker 4: I requested she'd break it off with the other guy.

699
00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:50,000
Speaker 4: On one hand, it was nice talking too and being

700
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,360
Speaker 4: with two women at once. It was a bit of

701
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 4: a rush and a definite ego boost. Good for you man.

702
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 4: On the other hand, I still love Laura and want

703
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 4: to be with her and her alone. She kept asking

704
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 4: me questions about my relationship with Emma, some of which

705
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 4: were a little invasive, and I refuse to answer. I

706
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,680
Speaker 4: could tell she was getting antsy and really wanted me

707
00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 4: to commit to her. At this point, I was just

708
00:33:11,640 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 4: thinking how I'd break it off with Emma. I figured

709
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 4: we hadn't known each other for long, and although there

710
00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 4: was chemistry. We both were not looking for anything serious,

711
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 4: so I'd just tell her this time, though, I wanted

712
00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 4: to confirm with Laura to see if it was the

713
00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 4: right decision, considering the last time I had I had

714
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,920
Speaker 4: done so well. Turns out she was already talking to

715
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 4: not one, but two other guys over text.

716
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,720
Speaker 5: While it's over.

717
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,520
Speaker 1: It's over the fact that.

718
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 4: You guys can't. It's like, you guys are like, all right,

719
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 4: I'm gonna sit down.

720
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,600
Speaker 1: And wait to do it. Are you gonna do it?

721
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 4: Firse?

722
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:48,440
Speaker 5: I'm gonna wait for a minute, all right, thirty seconds

723
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 5: is gone there.

724
00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's literally like, no, you do it first, I'll

725
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: do it when you do it.

726
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 4: According to her, they have not met in person, but

727
00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:59,880
Speaker 4: there there was definitely some spicy content to their conversation.

728
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,920
Speaker 4: Now I'm completely confused and hurt. Laura has been giving

729
00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 4: me these mixed signals back and forth for almost two months.

730
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I have no idea what to do.

731
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 4: I asked her why she started talking to more people,

732
00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:16,399
Speaker 4: and she just said that I'm seeing someone else.

733
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 5: Oh why not?

734
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:23,439
Speaker 1: You want if you want something, then like do it.

735
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:25,920
Speaker 4: First or just commit to the bit, commit to some

736
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 4: dang bit commit to something. Even after trying to explain

737
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,120
Speaker 4: that I was of the understanding we were heading towards

738
00:34:33,160 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 4: exclusivity and had even told her I'm going to break

739
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 4: it off with Emma, she didn't get why I was upset.

740
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 4: Even through all of this, she still wanted me to

741
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 4: go through with it, But no word about what she'll

742
00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 4: do regarding the other guys. Yeah, she's talking to So

743
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 4: now I'm at a loss. I haven't said a word

744
00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,719
Speaker 4: to Emma about any of this, although she knows I'm

745
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:58,600
Speaker 4: seeing Laura, just none of the strange details, not to

746
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:01,319
Speaker 4: mention she wants to hang out this weekend and likely

747
00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 4: hook up again.

748
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: I don't think any I don't think you want.

749
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 5: The real thing is, what do you want?

750
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:09,960
Speaker 1: OPI, Opie? You need to end this relationship. Neither of

751
00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:10,879
Speaker 1: you are doing it well.

752
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, this is this is brutal.

753
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:15,319
Speaker 1: You're you're failing at this relationship, both of you.

754
00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,640
Speaker 4: If I had to wager a guess, it would be this.

755
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:20,920
Speaker 4: Laura is completely fine with us being in a casual

756
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 4: or open relationship as long as it's only her who

757
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 4: gets to see other people. There never seems to be

758
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:28,440
Speaker 4: an issue with the extracurricular activities when we discuss it

759
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 4: and should just go with the flow, But now that

760
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 4: the shoe is on the other foot, it needs to

761
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 4: stop immediately. The last thing Laura and I spoke about

762
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,480
Speaker 4: was that she definitely wants to be exclusive. However has

763
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:43,760
Speaker 4: not stopped texting the other dudes who are clearly interested

764
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,440
Speaker 4: in spicy time. This is just too stressful, and I'm

765
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:49,000
Speaker 4: on the verge of either lying to Laura about continuing

766
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:51,799
Speaker 4: to see Emma bad, which I really don't want to do,

767
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:53,720
Speaker 4: nice that you recognize that, yeah.

768
00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,759
Speaker 1: Don't lie, that's not That's not the answer.

769
00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 4: Or breaking it off with both of them and just

770
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 4: staying totally single for a while. Bottom Line, I refuse

771
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 4: to be a part of a one sided open relationship,

772
00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 4: which she has all but asked for. If Laura wants

773
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 4: to see other people, I want to continue seeing Emma,

774
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 4: but I can't get a straight answer out of her.

775
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,759
Speaker 4: First off, thanks to everyone who commented, I tried to

776
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 4: read all of them and absorb the advice. Let me

777
00:36:17,200 --> 00:36:20,440
Speaker 4: first date that when I was writing the first post,

778
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,319
Speaker 4: I was a little heated from an overtext argument I

779
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:26,240
Speaker 4: was having with Laura at the same time, while arguing

780
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,799
Speaker 4: back and forth. I tried to use some of the

781
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,040
Speaker 4: advice I was reading. I told her I wouldn't trust

782
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 4: her to maintain fidelity in a monogamous relationship if I

783
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 4: broke things off with Emma. She did not take that well. Also,

784
00:36:35,640 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 4: to clarify, I'm not dragging Emma through any of this.

785
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 4: She knows I'm seeing another person, but doesn't know the

786
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 4: extent of the details of Laura and I's relationship, nor

787
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:45,480
Speaker 4: should she. Emma and I do not have a serious

788
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,400
Speaker 4: relationship and are not actively working towards that. If I

789
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 4: wanted to do a Polly or progress into a romantic

790
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 4: relationship with Emma, I would tell her what's going on,

791
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 4: as it would be her a right to know.

792
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:56,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like.

793
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 4: Opie, like he knows what's the right thing, but he's

794
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:01,600
Speaker 4: not executing it.

795
00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 1: No, He's like wants how to do it, but I'm

796
00:37:04,239 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 1: not gonna do it.

797
00:37:05,200 --> 00:37:07,920
Speaker 4: Emma's also seeing someone else. I do not ask, she

798
00:37:07,920 --> 00:37:10,760
Speaker 4: does not tell, and I'm fine with that. Uh. Finally,

799
00:37:10,760 --> 00:37:14,719
Speaker 4: I'm sorry for this labyrinthine plot. I feel like I'm

800
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,359
Speaker 4: in a fan soap opera. There is an update we'll

801
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:19,520
Speaker 4: get to that. You want to talk a little bit

802
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 4: about this, or you want to go chat.

803
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: A little bit. Yeah, I think this is I think

804
00:37:25,120 --> 00:37:27,080
Speaker 1: they just need to break up. I think they just

805
00:37:27,080 --> 00:37:27,839
Speaker 1: did it. I think it's over.

806
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:28,879
Speaker 5: Yeah.

807
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think there's any point in get it.

808
00:37:33,719 --> 00:37:36,839
Speaker 1: Be single for a little bit. Uh And I think yeah,

809
00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 1: Coffee Girl says, I think Op he needs to break

810
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 1: up with both and think about what he really wants

811
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,360
Speaker 1: in life, because he doesn't know the fact that he

812
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:44,359
Speaker 1: keeps going back and forth and is like, I want

813
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: to I want a monogous relationship. Oh, she's not doing it.

814
00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:48,680
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back.

815
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,880
Speaker 4: Into my It's also on her though, that she's like, oh, absolutely,

816
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:52,880
Speaker 4: she's playing games.

817
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, she's definitely playing games. It seems like she

818
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,840
Speaker 1: wants to. She's for sure the a hole like in

819
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:03,239
Speaker 1: you know, wants to only be in a open relationship

820
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,600
Speaker 1: her side exactly. However, the thing is that if Op

821
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:13,280
Speaker 1: he really wants a closed monogamous relationship, then he should

822
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 1: not be in, you know, a relationship with Laura. You

823
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 1: should break up.

824
00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 5: Yeah.

825
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 4: It seems like she's set on that open relationship kind

826
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:20,000
Speaker 4: of thing.

827
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he's like, okay, well I'll be open if

828
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 1: she just if she's going to be open, I'll be

829
00:38:25,320 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 1: closed if she's gonna be close. It's like back and

830
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,959
Speaker 1: forth and back and forth, and it's it's very wish

831
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,640
Speaker 1: wishy washy. And that's why I think, OP, he needs

832
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:35,880
Speaker 1: to be alone, figure out actually what's he what he wants?

833
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 1: Does he want to be in a poly relationship? Does

834
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,560
Speaker 1: he want to be in a uh, you know, monogamous relationship,

835
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:45,120
Speaker 1: and find someone who's actually going to meet those you

836
00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,200
Speaker 1: know that criteria, meet those criteria.

837
00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:49,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, I I a hundred percent agree.

838
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

839
00:38:50,560 --> 00:38:54,000
Speaker 4: Again, like I said earlier, OP, he has a path

840
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 4: that he wants in a mindset, it just not being

841
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,440
Speaker 4: executed correctly. And I think what you need to do

842
00:39:01,040 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 4: is just start start a start over, scratch from scratch,

843
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 4: and you'd be like monogamy is what I want?

844
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 5: Or monogamy and be Polly whatever you want.

845
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,760
Speaker 4: But I think you need to start from the ground

846
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:14,480
Speaker 4: up rather than going back and forth, back and forth,

847
00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,439
Speaker 4: press the restart button, Restart, refresh.

848
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: Repress, refresh, and also just the amount of times that

849
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: they've gone on a break and arguing, yeah, it doesn't

850
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:27,640
Speaker 1: seem doesn't seem super healthy and healthy now healthy.

851
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:30,359
Speaker 4: Emma and I have never had the chance to see

852
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:32,960
Speaker 4: each other over the weekend. Our schedules are conflicting a

853
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,240
Speaker 4: little bit, and we've both been pretty busy. As such.

854
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:39,239
Speaker 4: We haven't really even spoken over text too much, just

855
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 4: brief pleasantries. Laura came over Sunday night and we had

856
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:45,520
Speaker 4: a fun evening together. Nothing was said about Emma or

857
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,439
Speaker 4: the open relationship or deal the elephant in the room.

858
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,120
Speaker 4: We tend not to talk about bummer things like dude

859
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 4: while we're together.

860
00:39:53,239 --> 00:39:56,239
Speaker 5: Just enjoy the time spend. Why you have communication from

861
00:39:56,680 --> 00:39:57,799
Speaker 5: We'll just put it under the run.

862
00:39:58,440 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: We'll text about it later.

863
00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, let me like the match. Oh wait, it's on fire.

864
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 4: The next day she asked me about it again. I

865
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 4: told her the truth that I haven't broken things off,

866
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,080
Speaker 4: but we haven't really spoken or texted in a few days.

867
00:40:12,600 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 4: I then asked her about her two boy toys on

868
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,239
Speaker 4: the line. He told me that she broke it off

869
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 4: with both of them over text. There's a simple not

870
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,640
Speaker 4: gonna work. Sorry, as she put it, I have no

871
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 4: proof of this and don't really believe it to the

872
00:40:25,040 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 4: full extent. Laura then went into a bit of a

873
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,799
Speaker 4: tangent about why she thinks she hooked brought these two

874
00:40:29,840 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 4: guys to while I was contemplating being exclusive. She said

875
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 4: she has a problem with seeking affirmations and validations from

876
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:36,800
Speaker 4: other people.

877
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 5: That was a good smack. She has serious self esteem

878
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 5: issues and that's much.

879
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,720
Speaker 4: I try to tell her that she's beautiful and sexy

880
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:49,200
Speaker 4: and all that, obviously not droughting her compliments, but I

881
00:40:49,239 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 4: give it when she really needs it. Oh my god,

882
00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:54,759
Speaker 4: what is this? It's not enough coming from just me.

883
00:40:55,560 --> 00:40:57,880
Speaker 4: She says that she hates that and wants to be

884
00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,359
Speaker 4: comfortable in her skin such that she does and need

885
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 4: to talk to other people. She also said that since

886
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 4: I was seeing Emma, she felt incredibly alone and hurt,

887
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:07,279
Speaker 4: and that I didn't want to be with her, which

888
00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 4: I understand as I had those same feelings when she

889
00:41:09,719 --> 00:41:10,959
Speaker 4: was seeing the initial guy.

890
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.

891
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:16,239
Speaker 4: At the same time, don't understand how she can't see

892
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:19,920
Speaker 4: the double standard. Yeah, Laura wants to work on herself,

893
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,400
Speaker 4: no idea what that entails or when she will be

894
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,360
Speaker 4: done with that, but also wants me to be exclusive

895
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 4: to her in the meantime. This feels off since she

896
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,520
Speaker 4: has admitted that she likes the attention and validation from

897
00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:34,800
Speaker 4: other men and still does until she fixes herself.

898
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,399
Speaker 1: She's just putting so much like trust on her being

899
00:41:38,440 --> 00:41:39,320
Speaker 1: able to fix herself.

900
00:41:39,440 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 4: She's using other people to validate her and fix herself.

901
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,760
Speaker 4: That one that's not going to fix anything.

902
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:48,240
Speaker 1: No, just she's not. It doesn't seem like she's toxic.

903
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 4: I explained how this definitely did not bode well for

904
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,239
Speaker 4: any trust I might have for her. I said, I'll

905
00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:56,840
Speaker 4: think about it. Really, just to be done with the conversation. Okay,

906
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,879
Speaker 4: now for the I'm the complete a whole part. Oh no,

907
00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 4: oh wow, this is the update.

908
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 5: By the way.

909
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,760
Speaker 4: Oh my god, Laura is coming over again on Friday

910
00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,800
Speaker 4: night to join me for a barbecue on Saturday.

911
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,359
Speaker 5: I plan on looking through her phone Friday night.

912
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 1: Oh.

913
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 4: Whether I straight up ask her to hand me her

914
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:15,320
Speaker 4: phone or wait till she goes to sleep and look myself,

915
00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 4: I don't care, doesn't matter to me. How crappy the

916
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 4: plan is. I have a feeling I'm not getting the

917
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,480
Speaker 4: whole truth here, and I need proof.

918
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 1: If you need proof, you don't trust her, so break up.

919
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,360
Speaker 4: She may have already deleted the text messages in entirety,

920
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:34,359
Speaker 4: in their entirety, but there has been has to be

921
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 4: something on there which can shed some light on what

922
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 4: she's doing. Before you comment, No, if I find nothing

923
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 4: on there, I will not immediately break up with Emma.

924
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:45,720
Speaker 5: Do what is this ultimatum?

925
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,160
Speaker 1: Oh, with Emma. So he's saying like, oh, if I

926
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 1: don't find anything on there, I'm still not gonna be

927
00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 1: and I'm not.

928
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:56,080
Speaker 4: This guy's dealing in absolutes, and you know I feel

929
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:59,759
Speaker 4: about absolutes absolutely terrible. Yeah, I will not immediately break

930
00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 4: up with Emma. Proof of her commitment now does not

931
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,960
Speaker 4: guarantee it in the future. I just need to know

932
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:09,080
Speaker 4: what's going on now. If nothing else, it will be

933
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 4: a little piece of mind. You know, it is a

934
00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:13,120
Speaker 4: little piece of mind. Joining us live on YouTube every

935
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:16,320
Speaker 4: weekday at three pm PST. Just tap our profile it.

936
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 1: You know. I think they should have been broken up

937
00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:19,839
Speaker 1: after their first break.

938
00:43:19,880 --> 00:43:22,200
Speaker 5: I think they should have just been never never did.

939
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:23,560
Speaker 1: Their first break should have been it?

940
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,400
Speaker 4: Never should have been a relationship. No, they should have

941
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:26,719
Speaker 4: just been like stand it.

942
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:27,120
Speaker 5: Yeah.

943
00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:31,080
Speaker 4: Lastly, let me also say, aside from all this BS drama,

944
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:33,879
Speaker 4: my relationship with Laura's actually really good. When we talk

945
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:37,360
Speaker 4: about anything other than this, it's always lighthearted and loving

946
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,279
Speaker 4: and happy. We make jokes your relationship is a joke

947
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,760
Speaker 4: right now, and have laughs. We share romance and talk dirty.

948
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 4: We have amazing, spicy time and then cook delicious food

949
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,239
Speaker 4: together or have a fun day out doing things. This

950
00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 4: is really why I don't want to give up on

951
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 4: this just yet. Y'all are gonna hate me for this,

952
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,960
Speaker 4: but I do see a future with Laura, though maybe

953
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 4: it's just a fantasy in my head. When we're doing bad,

954
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,839
Speaker 4: it really sucks, as you all have seen. But when

955
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 4: we're good, we make each other really happy. She has

956
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,360
Speaker 4: to be a fan sociopath to fake the smile I

957
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 4: put on her face every time we're together, and that

958
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 4: makes it all mostly worth it.

959
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:12,239
Speaker 1: Uh.

960
00:44:13,840 --> 00:44:15,520
Speaker 5: The thing is that I see that's the end.

961
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 4: Of the story. I'm gonna give that, yeah, that down

962
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 4: for a second. I don't want to look at that phone.

963
00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 1: I think not that this is like necessarily like this

964
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:27,960
Speaker 1: not abusive, But when we're looking at other stories where

965
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,160
Speaker 1: there is kind of abuse involved, a lot of times

966
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:32,439
Speaker 1: people will say like, oh, when it's good, it's good,

967
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 1: and so those kind of counteract all of the bad stuff.

968
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 1: But that's not true. If there is this much bad

969
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,719
Speaker 1: stuff in a relationship. Maybe it's not just working, and

970
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 1: it clearly hasn't been working if you have to go

971
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:47,360
Speaker 1: on multiple breaks and you're, you know, constantly trying to

972
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:50,839
Speaker 1: figure out what what are the boundaries of your relationship?

973
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 1: What are the criteria of the relationship, and you guys

974
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:55,799
Speaker 1: can't agree on anything. Doesn't seem good.

975
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,279
Speaker 4: No, No, I think we've we've we've done, We've set

976
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:02,360
Speaker 4: our piece. Yeah us start start.

977
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 1: Up, break up, start over, break up with our leave

978
00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,280
Speaker 1: and Caitlin Von compasses how old.

979
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,919
Speaker 4: Are the twenty five and twenty? I think op's twenty five?

980
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 4: And then oh, even ooh.

981
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:16,760
Speaker 1: That does kind of it isn't obviously not like excuse,

982
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,600
Speaker 1: but it does make sense if she's that much.

983
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:22,440
Speaker 5: She's like, I love the attention. I need to be validated.

984
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 1: Ooh, but that is the end of that story. I

985
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: accidentally revealed my fiance's income. Now my siblings think I'm

986
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:36,680
Speaker 1: a gold digger. I mean they're just jealous. Wha I

987
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:40,400
Speaker 1: twenty nine male have a corporate girl fiance thirty one female,

988
00:45:40,520 --> 00:45:44,400
Speaker 1: very hard working, ambitious, super smart, and has an NBA.

989
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:47,680
Speaker 1: So it's not very surprising that she is climbing that

990
00:45:47,760 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 1: corporate ladder, like King Klong climbs the Empire State, or

991
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,200
Speaker 1: like I climb at the climbing gym. That's exactly why

992
00:45:54,200 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 1: I think. I'm glad that we were on that same page. Yeah,

993
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:00,719
Speaker 1: she is now the marketing director of a company that

994
00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 1: boomed during the pandemic. More on this later. By the way,

995
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:07,640
Speaker 1: this comes from U slash rich Girl, poor boy on

996
00:46:07,920 --> 00:46:11,960
Speaker 1: the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So whereas here I

997
00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 1: am lost and directionless at twenty nine working a night

998
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:20,560
Speaker 1: fill position at the local supermarket. We met in twenty

999
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 1: seventeen at a time when she was very undercompensated from

1000
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:26,680
Speaker 1: an old job until she moved to her current job

1001
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:29,160
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty. Now, my family knows she kind of

1002
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:32,680
Speaker 1: fits the Asian overachiever stereotype. Her words, He's like, I

1003
00:46:32,719 --> 00:46:35,000
Speaker 1: didn't say that. I didn't say that. It wasn't me.

1004
00:46:35,239 --> 00:46:37,960
Speaker 1: It wasn't me, I swear. And they know she works

1005
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,560
Speaker 1: in marketing for a big brand, but I guess they

1006
00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 1: never expected her to be rich rich income wise. We

1007
00:46:43,960 --> 00:46:46,480
Speaker 1: lived together, and I'm proud of myself for not being

1008
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:50,319
Speaker 1: a mooch. However, my total income goes to bills, going

1009
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 1: out expenses, and the occasional flowers and gifts. I pull

1010
00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 1: in one K week after tax, which is liveable and

1011
00:46:56,600 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 1: some in today's economy, absolutely no room for savings. But

1012
00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:02,160
Speaker 1: we are at a point in our relationship where I

1013
00:47:02,239 --> 00:47:04,560
Speaker 1: know she has got me if I do need money.

1014
00:47:04,719 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 1: She has verbally expressed this catless times to you guys

1015
00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 1: at chill. Yeah, there's no problems. Yeah, sounds like it.

1016
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:13,680
Speaker 1: We also share the same values when it comes to money,

1017
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 1: which is we're not show offs. We even share one car.

1018
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,000
Speaker 1: She works from home most of the time now and

1019
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:23,439
Speaker 1: it is a twenty twenty two Toyota Colugger. We eat

1020
00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,000
Speaker 1: whatever we want to eat, and we rent in a

1021
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,480
Speaker 1: good part of town. A house will be built after

1022
00:47:28,520 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 1: we get married. That's probably our biggest chunk of our expenses.

1023
00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:35,640
Speaker 1: But we and she doesn't shop much. Now this is

1024
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:38,240
Speaker 1: where I might be the ah. My family is poor.

1025
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:40,680
Speaker 1: All three of us kids didn't go to college. We

1026
00:47:40,719 --> 00:47:43,480
Speaker 1: lived in government housing at some point in our childhood.

1027
00:47:43,520 --> 00:47:46,040
Speaker 1: You get the drift. My sister works as a mechanic

1028
00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:48,160
Speaker 1: and my brother works in a fast food joint. Now,

1029
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,200
Speaker 1: my mom was involved in something two years ago and

1030
00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: won a lawsuit and got a couple of million as

1031
00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:57,680
Speaker 1: a settlement. WHOA, that's a lot of money. Since then,

1032
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 1: she bought a house and promised to help us out.

1033
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:04,279
Speaker 1: She's given us each her kids twenty thousand dollars in

1034
00:48:04,280 --> 00:48:07,960
Speaker 1: February of twenty twenty three, and then ten thousand dollars

1035
00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:11,840
Speaker 1: July twenty twenty three, and then five thousand dollars April

1036
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 1: of twenty twenty four, said good mom, Great Mom, and

1037
00:48:15,440 --> 00:48:18,440
Speaker 1: another five thousand dollars two weeks ago. Majority of the

1038
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,920
Speaker 1: money she gave I contributed to me and my partner's

1039
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:25,200
Speaker 1: vacations and household expenses purchases. My brother moved in with

1040
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:28,200
Speaker 1: my mom and keeps her company in her new house. Yesterday,

1041
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 1: we all had dinner at mom's since my brother lived there.

1042
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 1: He showed me his new twenty five hundred dollars computer,

1043
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,560
Speaker 1: and he seemed really stoked. My gaming laptop conks out

1044
00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 1: here and there due to overheating, so my brother teased

1045
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 1: me to get a new one as well, since he

1046
00:48:43,520 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 1: knows I just got money from Mom too. When we

1047
00:48:45,840 --> 00:48:48,760
Speaker 1: were at the dinner table, my brother said something about

1048
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:51,319
Speaker 1: me getting a new computer again, and without thinking, I

1049
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,360
Speaker 1: turned to my partner and joked and said, well, now

1050
00:48:54,400 --> 00:48:56,600
Speaker 1: you know what you can get me for Christmas. I

1051
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,040
Speaker 1: can't remember who spoke first, but my brother and sister

1052
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 1: both said that I can afford it, so no need

1053
00:49:01,800 --> 00:49:05,000
Speaker 1: to ask for such an expensive gift. My idiot brain

1054
00:49:05,040 --> 00:49:08,400
Speaker 1: decided to reply with my fiance earns forty K a month,

1055
00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: and two K is nothing to her. Okay, okay, don't

1056
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 1: need to say that. I feel like the first part,

1057
00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 1: like saying like a Christmas gift is like fine, that's fine,

1058
00:49:21,040 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 1: that's totally not bringing up like, yeah, my fiance makes

1059
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:29,239
Speaker 1: forty dollars a year, rolling out the receipts and like

1060
00:49:29,640 --> 00:49:31,400
Speaker 1: doing our taxes, you know what I mean? Like I

1061
00:49:31,440 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 1: don't know if I would ever say something like that,

1062
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:35,120
Speaker 1: like off the cup. Yeah, that's like so specific. You

1063
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 1: don't need to you're telling people, you've been telling people that, Yeah,

1064
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:41,719
Speaker 1: this doesn't feel like a first time is like a yeah,

1065
00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 1: my fiance, it makes a lot of money, right, or

1066
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:46,719
Speaker 1: at least something that you've been thinking about, like you

1067
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,320
Speaker 1: and not locked and loaded. Yeah, just gonna buy me

1068
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:51,520
Speaker 1: a computer? Yeah, like it's nothing to her. As soon

1069
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 1: as I said it, the table went silent, and I

1070
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:58,279
Speaker 1: felt my fiance freeze. My sister broke the silence and

1071
00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 1: was very much WGF and asked if it's true. My

1072
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 1: poor fiance does not know how to lie, and was

1073
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:07,719
Speaker 1: prodded to give more details about her personal finances. I

1074
00:50:07,800 --> 00:50:10,600
Speaker 1: tried to change subjects, but no one was letting it drop.

1075
00:50:10,719 --> 00:50:13,480
Speaker 1: She basically had to explain that she earns an obscene

1076
00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 1: eight point fifty k annually.

1077
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:16,440
Speaker 2: Oo.

1078
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:21,200
Speaker 1: Wow, that's that's a lot. That's a lot of money.

1079
00:50:21,239 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 1: It's a lot. Basically, in the last four years, the

1080
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,760
Speaker 1: company that she works for has grown three hundred percent

1081
00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: due to her direct efforts, hence getting the babe bumps.

1082
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:33,360
Speaker 1: She is basically attached to the hip with the owner.

1083
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:35,279
Speaker 1: So in the last few years, I kid you not,

1084
00:50:35,480 --> 00:50:38,680
Speaker 1: she jumped from one eighty K to three hundred k.

1085
00:50:39,000 --> 00:50:42,560
Speaker 1: Oh my god, six hundred k base ba then bonuses

1086
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:47,080
Speaker 1: that can make her total annual up to eight fifty K,

1087
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:49,440
Speaker 1: which is what she got in twenty twenty three, and

1088
00:50:49,640 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 1: looking good to net that as well this year. I

1089
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 1: feel like he's definitely telling a lot of people this

1090
00:50:55,160 --> 00:50:58,520
Speaker 1: because he's given us like, yeah, he's jail telling the

1091
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: whole internet, whole internet exactly, like everything about our finances.

1092
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 1: I think he's just really excited about it. Guys, my

1093
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 1: partner is so cool. It's a very new income level

1094
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:12,640
Speaker 1: for her, so it's not like she's a multi millionaire yet.

1095
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:15,880
Speaker 1: And to defend myself, we have given expensive gifts to

1096
00:51:15,920 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 1: each other before. She has given me a PS five

1097
00:51:18,320 --> 00:51:21,400
Speaker 1: really expensive leather boots, et cetera, and I have given

1098
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 1: her an iPad pro, Apple watch and more. So it's

1099
00:51:24,520 --> 00:51:27,440
Speaker 1: not too impossible to be gifted something in the thousands.

1100
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:29,759
Speaker 1: It's not like that all the time, and we take

1101
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:32,880
Speaker 1: delight even with simple gifts. For my last birthday, she

1102
00:51:32,920 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 1: got me a funny shirt that I love and it

1103
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:37,720
Speaker 1: probably costs fifteen bucks. By the way, a simple gift

1104
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,360
Speaker 1: to us would be joining us live every weekday at

1105
00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:43,719
Speaker 1: three PMPSD. Just tap our profiles top it. It's such

1106
00:51:43,719 --> 00:51:46,799
Speaker 1: a simple gift. A simple gift doesn't cost UK.

1107
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:47,239
Speaker 4: No.

1108
00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, but there's another relevant update. But what are you

1109
00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,280
Speaker 1: thinking so far? I think op is the a whole,

1110
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:56,880
Speaker 1: but like, not in a malicious way, just to you

1111
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:00,080
Speaker 1: misspoke and you probably shouldn't have said that. Yeah, I

1112
00:52:00,080 --> 00:52:02,800
Speaker 1: feel like, oh, he's not a gold digger. No, no, no,

1113
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:05,359
Speaker 1: I don't think that's where we're at. I don't think

1114
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,920
Speaker 1: it's inching towards that because they started dating when she

1115
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:10,359
Speaker 1: was not getting paid very well. You know, so he's

1116
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 1: been there from the beginning. Yes, this is a shark tale,

1117
00:52:14,840 --> 00:52:17,479
Speaker 1: you know, the guy, and but that the girl who's

1118
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,719
Speaker 1: been there from the beginning. And then there's also that

1119
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 1: that gold digger fish. But yeah, yeah that movie, that movie,

1120
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:27,720
Speaker 1: And he's not the gold digger fish. He's the one,

1121
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 1: the other one. Yeah, exactly. It's like fine, like, yeah,

1122
00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:34,839
Speaker 1: he didn't need to go ahead and like spill her

1123
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:37,799
Speaker 1: expenses to the family, especially now that the family is

1124
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 1: like really interested. And I'm a little bit worried about

1125
00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:43,279
Speaker 1: the Yeah, I'm worried that the family's gonna be like,

1126
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 1: well we want money now. Yeah, me too. Like I

1127
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 1: feel like if the family is blaming Op for being

1128
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:53,719
Speaker 1: gold gold digger, maybe they're just projecting. Maybe they're about

1129
00:52:53,760 --> 00:52:56,600
Speaker 1: to start digging for gold. My brother and sister pulled

1130
00:52:56,640 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 1: me aside after dinner and said I was the greediest

1131
00:52:59,480 --> 00:53:03,319
Speaker 1: person they've ever met for accepting mom's cash when my

1132
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:06,640
Speaker 1: partner is so loaded. WHOA I didn't know would take

1133
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:10,560
Speaker 1: that turn. Okay, that's so what that doesn't like they

1134
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,759
Speaker 1: just want more money. I guess like they're like, oh

1135
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:15,640
Speaker 1: my gosh, you have all this money with your partner,

1136
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,040
Speaker 1: so why are you taking mom's money? Even though mom

1137
00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:23,839
Speaker 1: wasn't a fastpa application. Yeah, like the mom didn't ask, oh,

1138
00:53:23,920 --> 00:53:26,560
Speaker 1: how much money does everyone have? She split it equally

1139
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:29,080
Speaker 1: like it's it would sound like that would make opia

1140
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 1: gold diggers. Yeah, no, I got it. I got my money. Yeah,

1141
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:36,359
Speaker 1: I don't need any of myself. I said to them,

1142
00:53:36,520 --> 00:53:39,239
Speaker 1: her money is not my money, and we're saving up

1143
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:42,520
Speaker 1: for a wedding and a house, so mom's gifts are helping.

1144
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:44,680
Speaker 1: I had to explain I want to try and make

1145
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,279
Speaker 1: it a fifty to fifty contribution, even at least for

1146
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,800
Speaker 1: the wedding. They countered by saying it's not really logical

1147
00:53:50,880 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 1: since technically it's mom's contribution then and not mine. I

1148
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 1: stood my ground that I am not well off and

1149
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:00,120
Speaker 1: our mom should treat us equally. I also got a

1150
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:03,640
Speaker 1: text from my mom this morning saying she's Switzerland, but

1151
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:06,919
Speaker 1: her staying neutral is making me question if I really

1152
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 1: did something wrong. My partner is not mad for my

1153
00:54:09,560 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 1: slip up, but stressed big time. She's second guessing herself

1154
00:54:13,239 --> 00:54:16,600
Speaker 1: and thinking we might be a hole together for letting

1155
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 1: me accept mom's gifts when I don't have to. So

1156
00:54:19,480 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 1: are we again I think a whole for miss speaking

1157
00:54:22,400 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 1: but not be able for taking the money again. The mom,

1158
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 1: if she wanted to, she could have said, hey, I

1159
00:54:28,880 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 1: want this to go ever wherever it needs to go, right,

1160
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:36,120
Speaker 1: Like she didn't know Pece finances specifically. So yeah, I

1161
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:39,360
Speaker 1: feel like saying that it's like it's mom's contribution. Like,

1162
00:54:39,400 --> 00:54:42,080
Speaker 1: if you're getting money from mom, it's mom's contribution. Obviously

1163
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:44,439
Speaker 1: that's a gift, you know, like that's I could see

1164
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:47,080
Speaker 1: how you get there. But in a way, it's almost

1165
00:54:47,080 --> 00:54:49,880
Speaker 1: like saying it's your boss's contribution to Yeah, you know

1166
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:51,680
Speaker 1: what I mean. But also you can like turn around

1167
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:53,319
Speaker 1: and say the same to them. It's like, okay, well,

1168
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:56,360
Speaker 1: whatever you use mom's money for, then you're not paying

1169
00:54:56,400 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 1: for anything. Yeah, exactly, Like it's just it's just mom

1170
00:54:58,840 --> 00:55:01,400
Speaker 1: doing it. And like they are being the gold diggers

1171
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:03,279
Speaker 1: right now. Yes, I mean, like we said before, they're

1172
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,520
Speaker 1: asking for more money. They're saying that it shouldn't have

1173
00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,479
Speaker 1: gone to you, it should go to us. I feel like, OPI,

1174
00:55:07,480 --> 00:55:09,560
Speaker 1: he should just pull the same light. I know, like, op,

1175
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:11,719
Speaker 1: he shouldn't have been like, well, two K is nothing

1176
00:55:11,719 --> 00:55:14,040
Speaker 1: to her. She makes forty K month. I think he

1177
00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 1: should just pull it again with the mom and be like,

1178
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:19,719
Speaker 1: well she got two million dollars. Two million dollars, like

1179
00:55:19,840 --> 00:55:23,120
Speaker 1: you know, forty K she gave to me is like nothing. Yeah, yeah,

1180
00:55:23,280 --> 00:55:25,760
Speaker 1: just just switch it around, you know, probably when probably

1181
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,400
Speaker 1: actually isn't good advice, but yeah, it would be funny. No,

1182
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:30,960
Speaker 1: I think your your siblings are being weird. They're being

1183
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:33,000
Speaker 1: very weird and weird. But that is the end of

1184
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:37,040
Speaker 1: that story. My brother's girlfriend is using him, but he

1185
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 1: refuses to break up with her. Ooh boy, h I

1186
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:43,600
Speaker 1: read it. I'm a twenty one year old woman, and

1187
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:47,000
Speaker 1: this post is about my brother's girlfriend. Laura, not her

1188
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 1: real name. She's eighteen, and they've been together for about

1189
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,960
Speaker 1: eight months. By the way, this comes from commercial call

1190
00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:55,759
Speaker 1: sixty five twenty one on the Okay storytime Separate. So

1191
00:55:56,320 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 1: at first I really liked Laura. She seemed down to earth,

1192
00:55:59,120 --> 00:56:02,359
Speaker 1: especially compared to whose previous girlfriends who were kind of odd.

1193
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,040
Speaker 1: Laura comes from a family with less money than ours.

1194
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:08,160
Speaker 1: We're not rich, but we're comfortable, so you're rich. This

1195
00:56:08,320 --> 00:56:13,360
Speaker 1: is what they all say. Say. Lately, I've started feeling

1196
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 1: like she might be using us. A few weeks ago,

1197
00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:18,160
Speaker 1: my brother took her on a trip to Cuba and

1198
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:20,759
Speaker 1: paid for everything because she didn't have the money. She

1199
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:23,399
Speaker 1: still owes him eight hundred dollars and hasn't paid him

1200
00:56:23,400 --> 00:56:25,800
Speaker 1: back yet. She also borrowed my mom's suitcase for the

1201
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:29,280
Speaker 1: trip and still hasn't returned it or even unpacked her things.

1202
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:31,719
Speaker 1: Before the trip, she told me she wasn't sure she

1203
00:56:31,760 --> 00:56:33,640
Speaker 1: wanted to stay with him because she felt like she

1204
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 1: hadn't experienced her young adult life fully, like going out

1205
00:56:36,520 --> 00:56:39,439
Speaker 1: to clubs and partying. During the trip, my brother told

1206
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:42,200
Speaker 1: me that guys were constantly giving her attention, and she

1207
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,640
Speaker 1: seemed to enjoy it. He mentioned that she was distant

1208
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:46,880
Speaker 1: with him at times, but at the same time they

1209
00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:50,120
Speaker 1: were still taking pictures, kissing and acting like a couple.

1210
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 1: It's confusing because I know she wants to break up

1211
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:55,160
Speaker 1: with him, but she isn't doing anything about it, and

1212
00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:58,600
Speaker 1: instead she's being rude to him. What's also been bothering

1213
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:01,200
Speaker 1: me is how she acted about money and things. When

1214
00:57:01,239 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 1: we first met, I was cleaning out my closet and

1215
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:05,640
Speaker 1: she offered to help. I thought it was just her

1216
00:57:05,680 --> 00:57:08,000
Speaker 1: being kind, but now I feel like she just wanted

1217
00:57:08,040 --> 00:57:10,239
Speaker 1: me to give her clothes. I ended up giving her

1218
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:13,839
Speaker 1: some really expensive dresses, like three hundred dollars each, which

1219
00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:16,040
Speaker 1: I don't wear anymore because they don't fit me. But

1220
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 1: now I regret it. She's also taken a bunch of

1221
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:21,160
Speaker 1: expensive things from my mom after my mom and the

1222
00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 1: stepdad broke up, like her old bed and kitchen appliances.

1223
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:27,080
Speaker 1: I do her lash lifts and I paid for the supplies,

1224
00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 1: but she never paid me back like she promised. She

1225
00:57:29,840 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 1: lives an hour away, and after the Cuba trip, she

1226
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 1: asked me to come to her house to do her

1227
00:57:34,160 --> 00:57:36,600
Speaker 1: lashes again. I refused because I didn't want to waste

1228
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 1: more money on gas, especially when she hasn't paid me

1229
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 1: for the supplies. Recently, she's been getting more and more rude.

1230
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,520
Speaker 1: She texted me out of the blue saying, so I

1231
00:57:46,560 --> 00:57:48,360
Speaker 1: need a costume. Are you either give me one or

1232
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:52,200
Speaker 1: do I need to get at myself? The audacity? That's insane.

1233
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:58,320
Speaker 1: That is pretty audacious. Wow, you to say that to

1234
00:57:58,360 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 1: someone who's been giving you like lash and clothes. Yeah.

1235
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,480
Speaker 1: Eight hundred dollars Cuba trips. No no, no, yeah, like

1236
00:58:04,480 --> 00:58:07,720
Speaker 1: it's one thing to like, you know, bemotioned this mess

1237
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:11,240
Speaker 1: and getting all these free stuffs, but moodcher Yeah, then

1238
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:12,680
Speaker 1: straight up just ask for it.

1239
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:13,120
Speaker 4: M M.

1240
00:58:13,680 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 1: That's that's curiosity. I was taken aback. Why should I

1241
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 1: be responsible for her costume? When I asked if she

1242
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:23,640
Speaker 1: had any idea what she wanted to be, she just said,

1243
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:26,280
Speaker 1: I don't know. She doesn't even know what she wants

1244
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 1: to be. That's just crazy.

1245
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:29,840
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh.

1246
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 1: She was also mad at me for doing the Halloween

1247
00:58:31,880 --> 00:58:34,280
Speaker 1: decorations without her, because she wanted to help, but I

1248
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 1: did it on a Saturday night around nine pm, so

1249
00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:38,720
Speaker 1: I didn't think it was relevant for her to come

1250
00:58:38,720 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 1: over and help. She wants to go clubbing for Halloween,

1251
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:43,520
Speaker 1: but honestly, I'm not in the mood to party and

1252
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:45,560
Speaker 1: I have a lot of homework. My brother wants me

1253
00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:47,680
Speaker 1: to go so we can hang out with some friends,

1254
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 1: but now he wants to go to the club to

1255
00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,200
Speaker 1: check on her and see if she's gonna cheat because

1256
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:54,240
Speaker 1: he thinks she might have already cheated on him that

1257
00:58:54,360 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 1: he needs to break up with her. If he thinks

1258
00:58:56,200 --> 00:59:00,240
Speaker 1: that she's already cheated on him. She's terrible, yeah, and

1259
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 1: she's muchin just break up with her. I also forgot

1260
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,920
Speaker 1: to add that during their vacation, a few things happened

1261
00:59:06,080 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 1: that made me feel uneasy about her. For example, she

1262
00:59:08,960 --> 00:59:11,640
Speaker 1: spent an hour on the phone with her mom, causing

1263
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:14,120
Speaker 1: them to miss a reservation my brother had made. While

1264
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:16,720
Speaker 1: they were there, they made some friends, and she always

1265
00:59:16,720 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 1: wanted to hang out with them instead of spending time

1266
00:59:19,160 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 1: alone with my brother. When they got back, my brother

1267
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:23,760
Speaker 1: caught the flu, and I was shocked by how she

1268
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:27,040
Speaker 1: treated him. He was really sick, throwing up and having

1269
00:59:27,040 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 1: stomach issues, and she seemed annoyed by it. Even when

1270
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 1: he was struggling in the bathroom, she just sat there

1271
00:59:32,880 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 1: on her phone, completely ignoring him. On the flight home,

1272
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:38,160
Speaker 1: he was so sick that he threw up on a

1273
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:40,720
Speaker 1: lady while rushing to the bathroom, and she didn't even

1274
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 1: try to comfort him or help clean him up. Now,

1275
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:44,840
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I feel like she's

1276
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:47,800
Speaker 1: using us, but it doesn't completely feel like her. I'm

1277
00:59:47,800 --> 00:59:50,480
Speaker 1: also conflicted because she told me things in private, and

1278
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 1: I'm unsure if I should tell my brother, even though

1279
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 1: he kind of already knows and has a gut feeling.

1280
00:59:55,400 --> 00:59:57,760
Speaker 1: So am I the ale for wanting him to break

1281
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 1: up with her? And there is an updates? Honestly, I

1282
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:02,800
Speaker 1: think there should be. I don't know. I feel like

1283
01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 1: when you tell someone's sibling something mm hmm, there's really

1284
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 1: no about the sibling. Yeah, you can't expect it to

1285
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,640
Speaker 1: be a secret. Yeah, not at all. No, Like if

1286
01:00:12,720 --> 01:00:15,120
Speaker 1: someone told me something about my brother, Yeah, no, I

1287
01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 1: would tell my brother like me immediately. I mean, I

1288
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:19,840
Speaker 1: just it's just in. I don't really know if it's

1289
01:00:19,880 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 1: the way to do it, but I tried. Hey, guys,

1290
01:00:22,320 --> 01:00:24,240
Speaker 1: I wanted to do a little update and also share

1291
01:00:24,280 --> 01:00:26,080
Speaker 1: more about the past so you can understand where I'm

1292
01:00:26,080 --> 01:00:28,360
Speaker 1: coming from. You guys think I'm not the a hole,

1293
01:00:28,400 --> 01:00:31,000
Speaker 1: which is for reassuring, but I kind of feel like one.

1294
01:00:31,120 --> 01:00:33,480
Speaker 1: I've been trying to respond to everyone, but there were

1295
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:36,560
Speaker 1: a lot of questions about my brother's age. He's nineteen,

1296
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: not twenty one, and he's definitely not a predator, don't worry.

1297
01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:42,480
Speaker 1: Part of why I'm so invested in this situation is

1298
01:00:42,520 --> 01:00:45,080
Speaker 1: because I can relate to his girlfriend when I was eighteen,

1299
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:47,720
Speaker 1: the legal drinking age here. Allowed me to experience a

1300
01:00:47,720 --> 01:00:50,080
Speaker 1: phase of partying and living my life to the fullest.

1301
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:52,440
Speaker 1: Back then, I was in a three year relationship and

1302
01:00:52,480 --> 01:00:55,080
Speaker 1: we went through the pandemic together. I wasn't feeling the

1303
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:57,720
Speaker 1: relationship anymore, so I broke up with him and lived

1304
01:00:57,720 --> 01:00:59,680
Speaker 1: my life. I just wanted to say that it wasn't

1305
01:00:59,720 --> 01:01:02,560
Speaker 1: an easy decision. We actually got back together after a

1306
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:04,560
Speaker 1: year and a half of being single, which is kind

1307
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:06,600
Speaker 1: of crazy, but it felt like a fresh start. The

1308
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,440
Speaker 1: point is, when I saw her and how she acted,

1309
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:11,479
Speaker 1: I saw a bit of myself and her. I brought

1310
01:01:11,560 --> 01:01:13,720
Speaker 1: up my own experiences to her because I knew how

1311
01:01:13,760 --> 01:01:15,880
Speaker 1: lonely it could feel when you're unsure about what you

1312
01:01:15,960 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 1: want and no one around you seems to understand. I

1313
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:20,480
Speaker 1: thought it might help her feel like she could trust me.

1314
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:22,520
Speaker 1: But now I feel stuck in the middle, and I

1315
01:01:22,560 --> 01:01:25,240
Speaker 1: don't know if I regret what I did. This week,

1316
01:01:25,400 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 1: my brother confronted her about the way she responded to

1317
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:30,120
Speaker 1: me through text, telling her it hurt him and that

1318
01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:32,640
Speaker 1: he didn't accept her talking to his family like that.

1319
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:35,000
Speaker 1: She got upset and felt like we were all ganging

1320
01:01:35,080 --> 01:01:37,120
Speaker 1: up on her, so she decided not to stay the

1321
01:01:37,200 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 1: night and went back to her house. My brother was

1322
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:41,600
Speaker 1: mad and called me. He was telling me that he

1323
01:01:41,640 --> 01:01:44,240
Speaker 1: wanted to break up, but since she owed him money,

1324
01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:46,960
Speaker 1: he wanted his money back. That's when I told him

1325
01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:49,200
Speaker 1: once she had confessed to me, and I felt awful

1326
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:51,600
Speaker 1: because I had promised her I wouldn't say anything. I

1327
01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:54,680
Speaker 1: initiated that conversation, so I felt like the falla was

1328
01:01:54,760 --> 01:01:57,440
Speaker 1: all my fault. But this morning, my brother called me

1329
01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:00,560
Speaker 1: before work and said she texted him asking for a break.

1330
01:02:00,640 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 1: He was furious and told me he planned to get

1331
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 1: all of his things from her place and end it.

1332
01:02:05,040 --> 01:02:06,840
Speaker 1: She's going out to a big city with her sister

1333
01:02:06,920 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 1: next weekend, and he thinks she wants to use that

1334
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:11,640
Speaker 1: time to meet other guys, and he made it clear

1335
01:02:11,680 --> 01:02:14,160
Speaker 1: that if that's what she wants, he's done. She said

1336
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,760
Speaker 1: that wasn't her intention and that she just needed some time,

1337
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:19,400
Speaker 1: but he wasn't buying it. How did she switch this

1338
01:02:19,480 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 1: on him? He was about to break up with her

1339
01:02:21,040 --> 01:02:22,640
Speaker 1: and she was like, ah, I want a break. I

1340
01:02:22,680 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 1: feel even worse because I can't help but think that

1341
01:02:25,440 --> 01:02:27,920
Speaker 1: if I hadn't shared my experience with her, maybe this

1342
01:02:27,960 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 1: wouldn't be happening. But then again, I keep telling myself

1343
01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:32,880
Speaker 1: it would have come up eventually. Some of you were

1344
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 1: asking why I'm so invested, and here's some background. My

1345
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:38,720
Speaker 1: brother is a kind and gentle person, but the problem

1346
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 1: is that people often see his kindness as a weakness,

1347
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:44,480
Speaker 1: just like my stepdad did, and they take advantage of it.

1348
01:02:44,600 --> 01:02:48,439
Speaker 1: My stepdad was psychologically abusive towards my brother, constantly calling

1349
01:02:48,480 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 1: him names and mistreating him. I didn't include this in

1350
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:54,400
Speaker 1: my original post because it's something that still hurts me deeply.

1351
01:02:54,600 --> 01:02:56,800
Speaker 1: At the time, I wasn't living with them because I

1352
01:02:56,880 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 1: chose to stay with my dad to avoid dealing with

1353
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 1: my stepdad's behave. My stepdad couldn't manipulate me, and I

1354
01:03:02,720 --> 01:03:04,840
Speaker 1: didn't let him get under my skin. I was the

1355
01:03:04,840 --> 01:03:06,960
Speaker 1: only one who could stand up to him, and things

1356
01:03:07,000 --> 01:03:10,280
Speaker 1: got really heated after my mom finally broke up with

1357
01:03:10,360 --> 01:03:13,200
Speaker 1: them good one night. Things got so bad that my

1358
01:03:13,240 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 1: brother showed up at my dad's place with all his

1359
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 1: belongings because stepdad had almost attacked him. Thankfully, my brother

1360
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:22,360
Speaker 1: got out before things escalated. My mom didn't fully know

1361
01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:24,440
Speaker 1: what was happening because she was also dealing with her

1362
01:03:24,480 --> 01:03:27,120
Speaker 1: own abuse from my stepdad, but that night, she realized

1363
01:03:27,160 --> 01:03:30,320
Speaker 1: it was enough and ended the relationship. Afterward, my brother

1364
01:03:30,360 --> 01:03:32,520
Speaker 1: moved in with me and my dad. Later, when my

1365
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:35,080
Speaker 1: mom sold the old house and bought her a current one,

1366
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,360
Speaker 1: she and my brother moved in together. They're both doing

1367
01:03:37,400 --> 01:03:39,600
Speaker 1: better now, but they're still in therapy because they went

1368
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:42,320
Speaker 1: through a lot. After he told me everything that happened,

1369
01:03:42,400 --> 01:03:45,280
Speaker 1: I felt so guilty for not being there to protect him.

1370
01:03:45,360 --> 01:03:47,480
Speaker 1: It still feels like I failed in my role as

1371
01:03:47,520 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 1: a big sister and a daughter. Growing up, I always

1372
01:03:49,960 --> 01:03:53,600
Speaker 1: felt responsible for protecting my brother. When our parents got divorced,

1373
01:03:53,640 --> 01:03:56,320
Speaker 1: I tried to keep him occupied whenever they were fighting

1374
01:03:56,400 --> 01:03:59,680
Speaker 1: so he wouldn't hear the arguments. I heard everything, but

1375
01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:02,160
Speaker 1: I wanted to make the divorce as smooth as possible

1376
01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:04,760
Speaker 1: for him. That experience left me feeling like it was

1377
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:09,080
Speaker 1: my responsibility to shield him from anything painful or traumatic.

1378
01:04:09,320 --> 01:04:11,480
Speaker 1: It might seem like I'm too involved, but with this

1379
01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:14,920
Speaker 1: previous girlfriend, I was hesitant and distant, and I know

1380
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 1: that hurt him. So this time I made more of

1381
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:19,680
Speaker 1: an effort to be present and not let my doubts

1382
01:04:19,760 --> 01:04:22,240
Speaker 1: keep me from trying to support his relationship. I didn't

1383
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,560
Speaker 1: want to come off as harsh or unwelcoming to someone

1384
01:04:24,600 --> 01:04:27,520
Speaker 1: he cares about. But now I feel stuck in between.

1385
01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 1: I haven't talked to her since their fight. I don't

1386
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 1: want her to think I'm mad at her, but I

1387
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 1: also don't want to upset my brother if he finds

1388
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:35,680
Speaker 1: out I'm still in touch with her. I'm not sure

1389
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,720
Speaker 1: if she even wants to talk to me anymore. It

1390
01:04:37,760 --> 01:04:40,800
Speaker 1: feels like she was trying to distance herself, and maybe

1391
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:42,680
Speaker 1: I just didn't catch on to that. But you can

1392
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:45,240
Speaker 1: always catch up with us if you join us live

1393
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:47,680
Speaker 1: every WEEKDA at three PMPSD on YouTube. Just tap her

1394
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:50,560
Speaker 1: profile stap it. I don't know if you necessarily need

1395
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 1: to be friends with this girl anymore. Yeah, Like it doesn't.

1396
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:57,480
Speaker 1: It seems like you were friends just because she was

1397
01:04:57,520 --> 01:04:59,600
Speaker 1: dating your brother. Yeah, and you were nice Storm and

1398
01:04:59,560 --> 01:05:01,959
Speaker 1: then she it wasn't even like nice. She wasn't even nice,

1399
01:05:02,240 --> 01:05:04,320
Speaker 1: So this just no reason. So I really don't think

1400
01:05:04,320 --> 01:05:06,840
Speaker 1: it matters. Yeah, she doesn't like you were not because

1401
01:05:07,240 --> 01:05:09,040
Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like she's a good person to have

1402
01:05:09,120 --> 01:05:11,280
Speaker 1: in your life, right, and hopefully she won't be in

1403
01:05:11,360 --> 01:05:13,919
Speaker 1: your life for much longer. I hope, so well matter

1404
01:05:14,000 --> 01:05:16,439
Speaker 1: either way, I'm mad at myself because I finally tried

1405
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:18,600
Speaker 1: to be present and supportive, but I feel like I

1406
01:05:18,720 --> 01:05:21,200
Speaker 1: ended up making things worse. I don't know what to

1407
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:23,840
Speaker 1: do now. My brother's reaction to all this has been

1408
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:26,240
Speaker 1: to focus on himself. He's mad and wants to move

1409
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:28,320
Speaker 1: on and just focus on getting back in shape and

1410
01:05:28,360 --> 01:05:30,400
Speaker 1: living his life. I don't know how to feel about

1411
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:32,760
Speaker 1: his reaction. It seems like he's trying to brush it off,

1412
01:05:33,120 --> 01:05:35,400
Speaker 1: but I know it's hard on his ego and he's hurting.

1413
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:37,840
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's the update that you guys wanted,

1414
01:05:37,920 --> 01:05:40,400
Speaker 1: but it's all I know for now. So it seems

1415
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:42,439
Speaker 1: like they might they are going to break up. Yeah,

1416
01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:44,240
Speaker 1: that kind of sounded like it broke up. Sounds like

1417
01:05:44,280 --> 01:05:46,800
Speaker 1: they're kind of done. I don't think that you've ruined anything.

1418
01:05:46,840 --> 01:05:50,640
Speaker 1: I think, yeah, it's always gonna seem negative, like you've

1419
01:05:50,640 --> 01:05:53,600
Speaker 1: done something negative when people break up, and you may

1420
01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:56,000
Speaker 1: like you maybe had like a slight role to play.

1421
01:05:56,080 --> 01:05:57,840
Speaker 1: But I think in the end, this was a good

1422
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,720
Speaker 1: breakup to have. Yeah, and I mean it's gonna her.

1423
01:05:59,760 --> 01:06:03,400
Speaker 1: I've whether like in any situation, even if it's for

1424
01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:05,680
Speaker 1: the best or whatever, like it's gonna be be sucky

1425
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:07,920
Speaker 1: and it's gonna hurt, but it's like, Okay, it's for

1426
01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 1: the best, so you're goodest. But that is the end

1427
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 1: of that story. My manipulative stepmother brainwashed my father. She

1428
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:20,000
Speaker 1: convinced him not to attend my wedding. She sucks. For

1429
01:06:20,080 --> 01:06:23,959
Speaker 1: a little backstory, my dad, Tim male fifty two, met

1430
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 1: my stepmom, Renee female sixty one, when I was four

1431
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 1: years old, and they married when I was nine. I

1432
01:06:29,880 --> 01:06:33,160
Speaker 1: don't like Renee. She's controlling and has anger issues. She's

1433
01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:36,800
Speaker 1: had physical altercations with my mom and and even my

1434
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:39,480
Speaker 1: little sister on my mom's side. Why are you a

1435
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:43,480
Speaker 1: beef with a little child? Come on, pick on someone

1436
01:06:43,560 --> 01:06:47,080
Speaker 1: your own side real To keep peace with my dad,

1437
01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:50,600
Speaker 1: I try to be cordial, although Renee doesn't get along

1438
01:06:50,640 --> 01:06:54,200
Speaker 1: with my family. Now onto the situation. By the way,

1439
01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:57,360
Speaker 1: this comes from No Cause for four four to three

1440
01:06:57,880 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 1: on the r slash Okay story time at Subura. My

1441
01:07:00,720 --> 01:07:04,560
Speaker 1: fiance male twenty four and I female twenty four are

1442
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:07,840
Speaker 1: getting married in a month, and my mom female forty

1443
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:11,200
Speaker 1: three has been helping me with all the planning. Both

1444
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 1: my mom and dad offered to help financially, but We're

1445
01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:16,840
Speaker 1: also paying for most of it ourselves. This is important

1446
01:07:16,920 --> 01:07:19,600
Speaker 1: for later. We set our guest list at two hundred,

1447
01:07:19,920 --> 01:07:23,840
Speaker 1: which was already over our preferred limit of one fifty

1448
01:07:24,120 --> 01:07:26,960
Speaker 1: due to our large families. Renee sent me a list

1449
01:07:27,000 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 1: of people she insisted we invite, which would have brought

1450
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:33,240
Speaker 1: the count over to fifty. Why is Renee I have

1451
01:07:33,280 --> 01:07:37,200
Speaker 1: a say in this? Yeah? Like what? Who is she? Who? Even?

1452
01:07:37,280 --> 01:07:37,560
Speaker 4: Are you?

1453
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:41,520
Speaker 1: Are you? I told her we'd consider her suggestions, but

1454
01:07:41,680 --> 01:07:45,360
Speaker 1: had final say. She included people I barely know, like

1455
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:48,439
Speaker 1: a distant cousin and her father, whom I haven't seen

1456
01:07:48,560 --> 01:07:50,800
Speaker 1: or spoken to in years. We left them off the

1457
01:07:50,840 --> 01:07:53,280
Speaker 1: list because my fiance and I want to be surrounded

1458
01:07:53,280 --> 01:07:55,800
Speaker 1: by people who matter to us on our special day.

1459
01:07:55,920 --> 01:07:58,840
Speaker 1: I didn't immediately inform Renay of our decision. A couple

1460
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:02,200
Speaker 1: months ago, my sister, Brook female twenty two, who is

1461
01:08:02,240 --> 01:08:04,480
Speaker 1: my maid of honor, was helping with the invites and

1462
01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:08,280
Speaker 1: reached out to Renee for addresses. Renee noticed the emissions

1463
01:08:08,440 --> 01:08:12,600
Speaker 1: and blew up, calling me, my sister and my fiance

1464
01:08:12,880 --> 01:08:16,680
Speaker 1: awful names, accusing us of disrespecting her. She said she

1465
01:08:16,800 --> 01:08:19,479
Speaker 1: and her family would no longer attend the wedding and

1466
01:08:19,560 --> 01:08:22,760
Speaker 1: claimed I only included her for my dad's money, which

1467
01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:25,639
Speaker 1: is untrue since I never asked for the financial help.

1468
01:08:25,720 --> 01:08:29,080
Speaker 1: I responded by saying I wouldn't tolerate her disrespect towards

1469
01:08:29,080 --> 01:08:32,479
Speaker 1: my sister fiance or myself, and that our wedding day

1470
01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:36,400
Speaker 1: wasn't about her, and if she had anything further to say,

1471
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:39,360
Speaker 1: she could go through my mom, as I would be

1472
01:08:39,400 --> 01:08:44,280
Speaker 1: blocking her number. Yes, Mike draw, Mike Draw, you know, yeah,

1473
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:46,200
Speaker 1: Renee needs to You need to put Renee in her place,

1474
01:08:46,520 --> 01:08:49,519
Speaker 1: because she's getting a little too cocky, a little too

1475
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:52,720
Speaker 1: comfortable in this sniff fat and uh, you don't have

1476
01:08:52,800 --> 01:08:56,360
Speaker 1: to say, Renee, Renee. I then removed her entire list

1477
01:08:56,400 --> 01:08:59,080
Speaker 1: from the guest list, bringing us back under to one

1478
01:08:59,160 --> 01:09:02,840
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty guests as we originally wanted. My dad

1479
01:09:02,880 --> 01:09:05,560
Speaker 1: called my mom, saying he agreed with Renee and that

1480
01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:08,639
Speaker 1: I owed her an apology. Of course he would, he's

1481
01:09:08,680 --> 01:09:11,599
Speaker 1: like in love with hers on the he likes her.

1482
01:09:12,160 --> 01:09:15,200
Speaker 1: He's got a little crush, so got a little crush

1483
01:09:15,200 --> 01:09:18,519
Speaker 1: on Renee. When I refused, he said he wasn't sure

1484
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:21,160
Speaker 1: if he would attend the wedding or walk me down

1485
01:09:21,280 --> 01:09:24,519
Speaker 1: my ground. How can you like look at your or

1486
01:09:24,720 --> 01:09:29,080
Speaker 1: i mean call your child, yeah and say that, Yeah,

1487
01:09:29,160 --> 01:09:31,240
Speaker 1: how can you think that you're in the right right

1488
01:09:31,360 --> 01:09:33,240
Speaker 1: saying that? Like it was Renee that was saying the

1489
01:09:33,240 --> 01:09:36,519
Speaker 1: awful names. She's just defending herself. Yeah, Like, calm down.

1490
01:09:36,640 --> 01:09:39,640
Speaker 1: This hurt me deeply, especially as I'm his youngest and

1491
01:09:39,680 --> 01:09:42,120
Speaker 1: the only one of his children who invited him to

1492
01:09:42,160 --> 01:09:45,559
Speaker 1: their wedding. Okay, so there's other issues. Yeah, it makes sense.

1493
01:09:45,840 --> 01:09:48,559
Speaker 1: No one else in him I see, I see. For

1494
01:09:48,600 --> 01:09:51,360
Speaker 1: the past two months, my dad has been radio silent,

1495
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:55,000
Speaker 1: even though we've seen each other at church and family gatherings.

1496
01:09:55,160 --> 01:09:58,320
Speaker 1: This past Sunday, he called asking if we could talk alone.

1497
01:09:58,520 --> 01:10:00,280
Speaker 1: I told him I'd think about it and are sent

1498
01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:02,599
Speaker 1: in a text saying I didn't feel comfortable meeting one

1499
01:10:02,600 --> 01:10:04,880
Speaker 1: on one, and then I'd prefer to have my mom

1500
01:10:04,920 --> 01:10:07,880
Speaker 1: present as a mediator. He hasn't responded, though I know

1501
01:10:08,000 --> 01:10:10,320
Speaker 1: he saw the message. By the way, you can always

1502
01:10:10,320 --> 01:10:14,719
Speaker 1: feel comfortable meeting us live every weekday at three pm PST.

1503
01:10:14,920 --> 01:10:18,639
Speaker 1: Just top our profile, tap it and there is another

1504
01:10:18,720 --> 01:10:22,160
Speaker 1: relevant update. But what do we think so far? Sucks

1505
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:24,680
Speaker 1: that Renee and your dad don't want to come yeah,

1506
01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:28,160
Speaker 1: but if this is his sticking point, then it doesn't

1507
01:10:28,160 --> 01:10:31,120
Speaker 1: seem like he's a good person and that's not your fault. Yeah.

1508
01:10:31,160 --> 01:10:34,040
Speaker 1: I feel like we're missing context and like what this

1509
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:36,720
Speaker 1: guy's deal is because it seems like he's like not,

1510
01:10:36,960 --> 01:10:38,840
Speaker 1: I don't know, he doesn't care about you guys. It

1511
01:10:38,840 --> 01:10:41,080
Speaker 1: depends on what you told him. But if you've told him,

1512
01:10:41,200 --> 01:10:43,600
Speaker 1: you know what Renee did and what Renee said, and

1513
01:10:43,640 --> 01:10:46,600
Speaker 1: he's still not willing to see reason and stand up

1514
01:10:46,600 --> 01:10:48,400
Speaker 1: for you guys. Yeah, it's not the type of person

1515
01:10:48,439 --> 01:10:50,519
Speaker 1: you wanted your wedding right right, Like she was just

1516
01:10:50,560 --> 01:10:52,800
Speaker 1: trying to be controlling and then they didn't like it

1517
01:10:52,880 --> 01:10:55,600
Speaker 1: and she got mad and laugh that was it. It's like

1518
01:10:55,640 --> 01:10:57,519
Speaker 1: they don't have they don't have to deal with that. No,

1519
01:10:57,640 --> 01:11:01,160
Speaker 1: you shouldn't have to deal with that, so put with it, no,

1520
01:11:02,200 --> 01:11:03,439
Speaker 1: and let her not put up with it.

1521
01:11:03,520 --> 01:11:03,720
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1522
01:11:03,800 --> 01:11:06,200
Speaker 1: On at this point I think that I was holding

1523
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:08,599
Speaker 1: out hope that he would still come to my wedding,

1524
01:11:08,680 --> 01:11:11,120
Speaker 1: but I am just setting myself up to get hurt

1525
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:14,240
Speaker 1: when he doesn't come. I also feel guilty about how

1526
01:11:14,439 --> 01:11:17,040
Speaker 1: this might affect his relationship with the rest of the family.

1527
01:11:17,160 --> 01:11:18,960
Speaker 1: I don't know if I handled things the right way,

1528
01:11:19,160 --> 01:11:22,439
Speaker 1: especially by refusing to meet him alone. I just don't

1529
01:11:22,479 --> 01:11:25,120
Speaker 1: want to be guilt tripped into bending my boundaries again,

1530
01:11:25,320 --> 01:11:28,840
Speaker 1: and my mom has always had my best interests at heart.

1531
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:30,880
Speaker 1: I don't know what my next steps should be, or

1532
01:11:30,960 --> 01:11:33,400
Speaker 1: if I should just start grieving the relationship I had

1533
01:11:33,400 --> 01:11:35,559
Speaker 1: with my dad. And there is an edit, just so

1534
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:39,599
Speaker 1: everyone understands. She told me to uninvite her entire family

1535
01:11:39,760 --> 01:11:42,200
Speaker 1: during her blow up. She said that none of them

1536
01:11:42,280 --> 01:11:45,599
Speaker 1: saw me as family and that they wouldn't come because

1537
01:11:45,680 --> 01:11:48,760
Speaker 1: I was disrespecting her. I obviously don't know if any

1538
01:11:48,800 --> 01:11:50,960
Speaker 1: of that is true or if it was just another

1539
01:11:51,000 --> 01:11:53,800
Speaker 1: dig from her, but I did not just uninvite them

1540
01:11:53,960 --> 01:11:54,639
Speaker 1: out of the blue.

1541
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:55,000
Speaker 5: Man.

1542
01:11:55,320 --> 01:11:57,680
Speaker 1: It's none of this is your fault. None of this

1543
01:11:57,720 --> 01:12:00,880
Speaker 1: is your fault. Yeah, your father made a ch and

1544
01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:03,400
Speaker 1: he has to live with that. Yeah. And if the

1545
01:12:03,880 --> 01:12:07,040
Speaker 1: consequences of that means that, like your family is not

1546
01:12:07,080 --> 01:12:09,360
Speaker 1: gonna like him and it's gonna be distant, that's his.

1547
01:12:09,600 --> 01:12:11,920
Speaker 1: That's his own fault. Yeah. Like she told you what

1548
01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:15,960
Speaker 1: to do, He told you no one sees you as family. Yeah,

1549
01:12:16,040 --> 01:12:19,559
Speaker 1: so uninvite them, and you're like, okay, that will do yeah,

1550
01:12:19,640 --> 01:12:22,200
Speaker 1: thank you for the advice. But guess what, there's another update.

1551
01:12:22,479 --> 01:12:26,759
Speaker 1: I guess well, Oh, I wasn't expecting, but there's more.

1552
01:12:27,360 --> 01:12:30,120
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, I wanted to share an update after everything

1553
01:12:30,160 --> 01:12:32,880
Speaker 1: that's happened. Not long after my last post, my dad

1554
01:12:32,880 --> 01:12:35,719
Speaker 1: and I were finally able to meet up to talk.

1555
01:12:35,880 --> 01:12:39,599
Speaker 1: My now husband than fiance came with me for support,

1556
01:12:39,680 --> 01:12:43,439
Speaker 1: but unfortunately the conversation didn't go as I hoped. Throughout

1557
01:12:43,439 --> 01:12:46,400
Speaker 1: the talk, my dad took no responsibility for what had happened.

1558
01:12:46,479 --> 01:12:49,880
Speaker 1: I also found out that my stepmom had manipulated the story,

1559
01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:52,400
Speaker 1: making it seem like I was the one who initially

1560
01:12:52,720 --> 01:12:55,960
Speaker 1: uninvited her in her entire family, which wasn't the case

1561
01:12:56,080 --> 01:12:59,479
Speaker 1: at all, as I had a message proof that she

1562
01:12:59,600 --> 01:13:02,080
Speaker 1: said it. None of them would come and to remove

1563
01:13:02,120 --> 01:13:03,879
Speaker 1: them all. Thank god you had receipts.

1564
01:13:04,160 --> 01:13:04,400
Speaker 5: Yep.

1565
01:13:04,600 --> 01:13:06,759
Speaker 1: Period. I was scared that that was over the phone,

1566
01:13:06,920 --> 01:13:08,280
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, I thought that for a

1567
01:13:08,280 --> 01:13:11,559
Speaker 1: second too. I was like, did you record? So glad though,

1568
01:13:11,760 --> 01:13:15,400
Speaker 1: I'm so glad, and I figured too, like I figured

1569
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:18,560
Speaker 1: that the dad wasn't hearing this from Ope, Yes, definitely

1570
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:23,320
Speaker 1: coming from Rene. It was all all manipulated, all changed

1571
01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 1: and stuff like, like, still not good for the dad

1572
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:28,479
Speaker 1: to like agree like that and to like, you know,

1573
01:13:28,800 --> 01:13:30,960
Speaker 1: say that he's not even gonna go. But it's like

1574
01:13:31,200 --> 01:13:39,840
Speaker 1: definitely receiving an altered alternative answer. There, alternative, some false information. Yes,

1575
01:13:40,280 --> 01:13:43,320
Speaker 1: there we go. My dad still insisted that I was

1576
01:13:43,360 --> 01:13:45,200
Speaker 1: in the wrong and told me I needed to get

1577
01:13:45,200 --> 01:13:47,240
Speaker 1: over myself. Okay, so everything I said about the dad

1578
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:51,160
Speaker 1: to ignore that actually shock, I dig all of it

1579
01:13:51,200 --> 01:13:54,400
Speaker 1: back here. After about two hours, I felt that we

1580
01:13:54,400 --> 01:13:56,840
Speaker 1: were going in a circle, and I decided to leave

1581
01:13:57,080 --> 01:13:59,679
Speaker 1: and told him that I needed time to process everything.

1582
01:13:59,720 --> 01:14:02,720
Speaker 1: After reflecting on this conversation for a few days and

1583
01:14:02,880 --> 01:14:05,759
Speaker 1: everything that led up to it, I made a hard decision.

1584
01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:08,280
Speaker 1: I told my dad that I no longer wanted him

1585
01:14:08,320 --> 01:14:10,920
Speaker 1: to walk me down the aisle, though I said he

1586
01:14:11,040 --> 01:14:13,800
Speaker 1: was still welcome to attend. Okay, I asked my mom

1587
01:14:13,840 --> 01:14:16,679
Speaker 1: and her wife to walk me down instead, as they

1588
01:14:16,840 --> 01:14:21,400
Speaker 1: have been my constant support. Okay, that's nice, that is nice. Yeah. Now,

1589
01:14:21,439 --> 01:14:24,200
Speaker 1: two days after the wedding, I'm heartbroken to share that

1590
01:14:24,240 --> 01:14:28,400
Speaker 1: my dad didn't come. Oh, my older sister, who has

1591
01:14:28,479 --> 01:14:32,000
Speaker 1: grown close to my dad and stepmom didn't attend either. Oh.

1592
01:14:32,080 --> 01:14:35,439
Speaker 1: What there's more people that he's taken away. He stopped

1593
01:14:37,120 --> 01:14:40,920
Speaker 1: go to the wedding. Praz such a sore loser. Yeah,

1594
01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:42,639
Speaker 1: it's just such a big day that's just so hard

1595
01:14:42,640 --> 01:14:44,800
Speaker 1: to miss. Yeah, and you're supposed to walk her down

1596
01:14:44,800 --> 01:14:47,680
Speaker 1: the aisle? Yeah, Like like, how could you do that?

1597
01:14:47,720 --> 01:14:51,320
Speaker 1: As a father? Right? Come on? Since telling my dad

1598
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:53,920
Speaker 1: about my choice, he hasn't reached out and I haven't

1599
01:14:53,920 --> 01:14:56,800
Speaker 1: heard a word from him. With everything that's happened, I've

1600
01:14:56,840 --> 01:14:59,200
Speaker 1: decided to go no contact with my dad for now.

1601
01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:01,960
Speaker 1: It's not an easy choice, but after all the hurt

1602
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,960
Speaker 1: and drama, I need this distance to move forward on

1603
01:15:05,000 --> 01:15:07,559
Speaker 1: a brighter note. The people who truly love and support

1604
01:15:07,560 --> 01:15:10,120
Speaker 1: my husband and me were there to celebrate with us,

1605
01:15:10,400 --> 01:15:13,280
Speaker 1: and we had an amazing time surrounded by those who

1606
01:15:13,320 --> 01:15:16,200
Speaker 1: genuinely care. Instead of a father daughter dance, I shared

1607
01:15:16,240 --> 01:15:18,280
Speaker 1: a dance with the special men in my life who've

1608
01:15:18,280 --> 01:15:21,479
Speaker 1: always been there. My grandfather is, my uncle, my brothers,

1609
01:15:21,560 --> 01:15:24,639
Speaker 1: and my cousin. That is so cute, you know, got

1610
01:15:24,760 --> 01:15:27,160
Speaker 1: chills and I might even tear up a how sweet

1611
01:15:27,160 --> 01:15:30,840
Speaker 1: that I'm my God? That just might That's just really good.

1612
01:15:30,880 --> 01:15:33,120
Speaker 1: It's really great, and I love that, you know, after

1613
01:15:33,200 --> 01:15:35,200
Speaker 1: all of that drama with the father, they got, they

1614
01:15:35,240 --> 01:15:37,719
Speaker 1: got something else. They can't you putting a spin on it? Yeah?

1615
01:15:37,880 --> 01:15:41,120
Speaker 1: Really sweet. So my stepmom, my mom's wife, joined into

1616
01:15:41,439 --> 01:15:43,360
Speaker 1: even though she's not a man. Yeah, so we have

1617
01:15:43,439 --> 01:15:47,160
Speaker 1: the evil straight couple with the stepmom and the cool

1618
01:15:47,200 --> 01:15:51,599
Speaker 1: gay stepma. Yeah exactly. She's been such an important part

1619
01:15:51,600 --> 01:15:54,200
Speaker 1: in my life. Their support and love made our day

1620
01:15:54,240 --> 01:15:57,640
Speaker 1: incredibly special and I'm so grateful for them. Thank you

1621
01:15:57,680 --> 01:16:00,840
Speaker 1: to everyone who offered advice and support on my original post.

1622
01:16:01,080 --> 01:16:03,080
Speaker 1: It's been a tough journey, but I'm finding peace in

1623
01:16:03,160 --> 01:16:05,400
Speaker 1: those who showed up for us, and I'm so excited

1624
01:16:05,439 --> 01:16:08,879
Speaker 1: to start this next chapter with my husband. I love that. Soweet.

1625
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:12,920
Speaker 1: That's the end of the story. Huh So it's positive

1626
01:16:12,960 --> 01:16:16,280
Speaker 1: in the end, some what. Yeah, it's a bummer about

1627
01:16:16,320 --> 01:16:19,879
Speaker 1: the dad going to have contact and that's really so annoying.

1628
01:16:20,240 --> 01:16:22,439
Speaker 1: I feel like, I mean, I can imagine that wedding

1629
01:16:22,439 --> 01:16:26,200
Speaker 1: planning is just so much already. Yeah, and you're like, oh,

1630
01:16:26,400 --> 01:16:29,160
Speaker 1: I thought the one easy thing is this person's gonna

1631
01:16:29,160 --> 01:16:31,479
Speaker 1: walk me down the aisle right right, And then when

1632
01:16:31,479 --> 01:16:35,320
Speaker 1: there's added family drama like this on top of that,

1633
01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:38,120
Speaker 1: and it's like you're trying to make the compromise, like, Okay,

1634
01:16:38,120 --> 01:16:39,559
Speaker 1: maybe he doesn't have to walk down the aisle, but

1635
01:16:39,640 --> 01:16:43,720
Speaker 1: just be there literally exists, Yeah, in my wedding. Then

1636
01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:46,240
Speaker 1: he can't even do that, Like that is very annoying

1637
01:16:46,240 --> 01:16:48,320
Speaker 1: to deal with, But I'm glad that they were able

1638
01:16:48,400 --> 01:16:51,639
Speaker 1: to like work through it and adapt and you found

1639
01:16:51,680 --> 01:16:54,280
Speaker 1: out who are the actual people who want to support you, yeah,

1640
01:16:54,320 --> 01:16:56,640
Speaker 1: and then just made it more beautiful with them. I

1641
01:16:56,680 --> 01:16:59,280
Speaker 1: think that's really really nice and that's like a skill

1642
01:16:59,400 --> 01:17:02,200
Speaker 1: to have to that's impressive. So good job, will Peek,

1643
01:17:02,240 --> 01:17:04,800
Speaker 1: Good job you're doing. You figured it out, you're great

1644
01:17:04,920 --> 01:17:07,639
Speaker 1: doing great And that's the end of that story, so

1645
01:17:07,960 --> 01:17:09,120
Speaker 1: we'll see you next time.