1 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vandercamp. I'm a mother of five, 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hartunger. 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:13,480 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, a practicing physician and blogger. 4 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 1: On the side, we are two working parents who love 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:19,320 Speaker 1: our careers and our families. Welcome to Best of Both Worlds. 6 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,800 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to Best of Both Worlds. 10 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode two hundred and fifteen. 11 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 1: This is also going to be a mailbag episode Mailbag 12 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:44,320 Speaker 1: Part two for early Fall twenty twenty one. We got 13 00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 1: so many great listener questions coming in through our blogs. 14 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: That's the shoebox sahubox dot com, also Laura vandercam dot com, 15 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:57,000 Speaker 1: through our insta Best of Both Worlds podcasts. You can 16 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: email us as well. Our information is on our blogs, 17 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: so please do that. We love listener questions. We do 18 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: one every week, but we get so many that we 19 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: would like to occasionally do these mailbag episodes and tackle 20 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:11,399 Speaker 1: many of them. Because all sorts of great topics that 21 00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:15,679 Speaker 1: people are thinking about. So let's go ahead and dive 22 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 1: right in. So, Sarah, this time you are reading the 23 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:23,399 Speaker 1: questions all right, perfect, I'm on it. Question one, Any 24 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 1: advice you would give a first time mom. I'm twelve 25 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:30,720 Speaker 1: weeks along. Oh my goodness, well, congrats on making it 26 00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:34,160 Speaker 1: through the first trimester. Good for you. My first bit 27 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,399 Speaker 1: of advice is that you should listen to us, which 28 00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:41,240 Speaker 1: this person already is so yay, already on top of 29 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:45,119 Speaker 1: her game, kicking it. There a couple things. First, to 30 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: ignore anyone who tells you to enjoy every moment, because 31 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,640 Speaker 1: you are not going to enjoy every moment, so do 32 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 1: not even try enjoy the good moments and aim to 33 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,640 Speaker 1: keep the bad ones in perspective. But in a similar vein, 34 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,800 Speaker 1: just ignore anyone who tells you just you weight. It's 35 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:05,840 Speaker 1: another horrible phrase. It's usually a sign that somebody has 36 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: their own issues, not you, unless I put this in 37 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,120 Speaker 1: our notes, Unless you are the kind of person who 38 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: are saying, like, my baby's never going to soil this 39 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:15,360 Speaker 1: two hundred dollars linen baby outfit I bought them, in 40 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:19,040 Speaker 1: which case, just you wait, I will use that there. Seriously, 41 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: I don't know. This is such a hard question, right, 42 00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: Like people have to figure out a lot of stuff 43 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:28,239 Speaker 1: on their own. I think there's just two very practical 44 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 1: new baby things that I would like to say that 45 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 1: it's come through hard experience on my behalf. One is 46 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 1: that if you do want to breastfeed exclusively, get yourself 47 00:02:39,639 --> 00:02:42,799 Speaker 1: a pump. And I know a lot of people are like, well, 48 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 1: why would I need one if I plan to just 49 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 1: be around my baby all the time and breastfeed, Like 50 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,240 Speaker 1: you'll want to leave at some point, like you want 51 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 1: to go to the grocery store, and if your kid 52 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 1: needs to eat while you're at the grocery store, you 53 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,120 Speaker 1: will fall behind, and like then it will be harder 54 00:02:57,160 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 1: to catch up. Whereas if you start pumping immediately when 55 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,600 Speaker 1: your milk comes in an extra bottle a day through 56 00:03:04,639 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 1: the beginning, that will set your baseline higher so you 57 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: have a freezer stash built up, and also that you 58 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: will have an easier time nursing because you're not feeling 59 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,280 Speaker 1: like you might constantly behind. You're just at the right amount, 60 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: like you'll be producing more than your baby needs, and 61 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:23,400 Speaker 1: so that makes it a lot less high stakes every 62 00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:27,799 Speaker 1: individual feeding right the second thing I would say is 63 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: that after a few weeks, the baby starts getting into 64 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:35,520 Speaker 1: a sleep cycle where they will eat, play, and then 65 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: get fussy, and that fussiness is usually a sign that 66 00:03:39,760 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 1: they are tired. It is not necessarily a sign that 67 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,120 Speaker 1: they are hungry. I mean, they might be, but you 68 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: should try the nap first and if that works, great, 69 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 1: Like now you've got three three and a half to 70 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: four hours between feedings, whereas you know, if you feed 71 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: them at that point, it's usually at about one point 72 00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: seventy five hours, So then you're on in every two 73 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 1: or even less than two hour cycle and that becomes 74 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:06,000 Speaker 1: a lot harder to sustain as a nursing mother. So 75 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: try the nap first with that initial fussiness, see what happens, 76 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:12,680 Speaker 1: and if it doesn't work, feed, But if it does work, 77 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,440 Speaker 1: the kid goes down for a nap, then brilliant. Those 78 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:20,040 Speaker 1: are my two hard learned lessons. And everyone is different 79 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 1: because I'm like that never worked and literally always had 80 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: to give the kid my food, so you know, and 81 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,680 Speaker 1: Josh would make fun of me. He's like, I'll try, 82 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 1: but we all know what the outcome will be, and 83 00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:32,880 Speaker 1: the outcome will be a baby eating. So your mileage 84 00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: may vary, but absolutely good to try because maybe you'll 85 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: be lucky. Okay, I have three points here. Number one, 86 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,720 Speaker 1: just to reinforce what Laura said about the just you wait, 87 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,359 Speaker 1: my sister recently got a this is the easy part. 88 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,599 Speaker 1: Now my niece is like eighteen months old or how 89 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 1: is that the easy key track is delorious? I hate 90 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,479 Speaker 1: that part. I mean maybe someone found that the easy 91 00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 1: part and good for them, but like, please ignore that. 92 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: And you know, if you do find your motherhood very 93 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,000 Speaker 1: very challenging, especially when your baby is very young and 94 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 1: waking up all night, that is totally okay. You do 95 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 1: not have to love it. Like that part is, in 96 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,920 Speaker 1: my opinion, very very difficult. So just putting that out there. 97 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,880 Speaker 1: Number Two, figure out your childcare game if you need it, 98 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:19,480 Speaker 1: because that is you know, I always laugh when I 99 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,560 Speaker 1: see like these elaborate nurseries and then you're like, so 100 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,040 Speaker 1: what are you doing for daycare and they're like, I 101 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:27,080 Speaker 1: don't know what. So that's number two. And then my 102 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: third one is to look for some friends who might 103 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 1: be due around the same time. Whether that's I mean, 104 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 1: it's harder pandemic wise, very much harder. But if you're 105 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: able to do things in person or outside, look for 106 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:40,239 Speaker 1: like a pre needle yoga class because or even find 107 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,440 Speaker 1: some online friends that are on a similar timeline. I'm 108 00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: actually still like close with a group of women that 109 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: were going through fertility issues at the same time as 110 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: I was having Annabelle, and now we all have nine 111 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: year olds plus many other childrens because it turns out 112 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: most of us were able to conquer our issues, I guess, 113 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:02,000 Speaker 1: and it's just been so valuable to have that, you know, 114 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 1: little circle. There's a podcast called Connected mom Life. I 115 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 1: think I was on it once, so there you go 116 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:09,680 Speaker 1: with that. I fall. I don't always listen to all 117 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 1: of her episodes, but I do follow her on Instagram 118 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,440 Speaker 1: and she has great kind of practical tips for seeking 119 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,960 Speaker 1: out mom friends, and I do think that is something 120 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 1: you can do to make the journey just a little 121 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,000 Speaker 1: bit more fun. So I suggest you can start doing 122 00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 1: that early. Awesome good advice there, all right, Question number two, 123 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: any tips for transitioning from one to two children? Ah? Well, 124 00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: this question, I think a lot of it depends on 125 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 1: the age gap between the two, because I mean, if 126 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:41,120 Speaker 1: it's like eighteen months between kids, that's obviously going to 127 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,279 Speaker 1: be a different experience than if you have, say five 128 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: years between your two kids. I think one of the 129 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 1: most helpful things you can do is try to get 130 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 1: some one on one time with your older child. There's 131 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: going to be a lot of times that you have 132 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: to be with the baby, obviously, and people will help 133 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: you with your older child, but the older child can 134 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:02,120 Speaker 1: and wind up feeling like Mom never wants to be 135 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,240 Speaker 1: with me, and so sometimes give the baby to somebody else. 136 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:07,599 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, if the baby, if you're nursing 137 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: and the baby isn't eating like other people can still 138 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,320 Speaker 1: take the baby, right, So spend some of that time 139 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: with your older child if you've got two really little ones, 140 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: definitely helpful to have extra hands. So welcome help from 141 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 1: family and friends. Here's a practical thing. I don't think 142 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,240 Speaker 1: any of our best of both worlds listeners would succumb 143 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 1: to this temptation. But if you are thinking, hey, I 144 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:33,360 Speaker 1: should pull my older child out of daycare, or maybe 145 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,080 Speaker 1: we don't need a nanny because I am on maternity 146 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,920 Speaker 1: leave for four or five months, so we'll just look 147 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:40,239 Speaker 1: again at the end of that, like, get that thought 148 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: right out of your head right now. That is an 149 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:47,040 Speaker 1: absolutely stupid way to save money and almost guarantee that 150 00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 1: you have a very hard time getting back to work 151 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: after the second one. If you are planning to stay 152 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: home with your kids, that's fine, that's wonderful. But if 153 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,480 Speaker 1: you do intend to go back to work, do not 154 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: end your child care for kid number one in any way, 155 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 1: shape or form. Establishing routines can help with sanity, especially 156 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 1: if you have two very little ones trying to coordinate 157 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:09,760 Speaker 1: the afternoon nap. If you can as soon as the 158 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: smaller child gets into any sort of nap schedule, if 159 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: you can make sure that the afternoon one goes at 160 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: the same time, that will be good. But you know, 161 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 1: as much as you can, like sort of contain spaces. 162 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 1: I love that tip from Sarah from What's Their podcast? Yes, 163 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: Sarah Powers was talking about, you know how when she 164 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: had three very little ones, she'd sort of confine the space, 165 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: like they'd all be in one small room. And then 166 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,680 Speaker 1: because it's just easier to keep track of everyone when 167 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:40,199 Speaker 1: you know you are have limited the area where things 168 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: can go wrong, So think about how you might do that. 169 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,760 Speaker 1: I love all that. I think being more flexible to 170 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 1: some extent with the baby's schedule than with the toddler. 171 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 1: People get very caught up on these like moms on 172 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 1: call type things, and they work for some people, and 173 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,280 Speaker 1: I think they're easier if you have just a baby, 174 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 1: But if your toddler is with you, now, it's one 175 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: thing if they're in daycare, they're out of the house, 176 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,040 Speaker 1: but if you're actually the one managing both of them, 177 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,199 Speaker 1: they're probably the one that needs a structure even more. 178 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:10,000 Speaker 1: And little infants can usually kind of, you know, roll 179 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 1: with it, yeah, roll with it exactly. So I think 180 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 1: that you know, paying a lot of attention to what 181 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 1: your older kid is doing and letting your little one 182 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 1: going along for the ride rather than the other way 183 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 1: around can be helpful. And then I'll just reiterate to 184 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: seek out friends in similar boats, because it's great to 185 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: have a play date when you both have like a 186 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 1: two year old and a newborn, because you know you're 187 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,199 Speaker 1: going to spend the whole time chasing, but at least 188 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:32,440 Speaker 1: you're doing it together. It's harder to have that type 189 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,440 Speaker 1: of plate eate if the other person isn't going through 190 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 1: that similar and you feel like you're the only one 191 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: running after. But try to see if you can find 192 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,440 Speaker 1: people who are in similar boats and do things that 193 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 1: are not hard to do together, such as a playground exactly. 194 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 1: So I would say just our next question is like 195 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,240 Speaker 1: related to that. Yes, this one's for you though, Yeah, 196 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: I have to go to a three to four, which 197 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,760 Speaker 1: is funny because we often get the two to three 198 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 1: and we would say, like, never ever make that joke 199 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:01,160 Speaker 1: about going from man to man is a defense because 200 00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,080 Speaker 1: if you've got two and you've ever been alone with them, 201 00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,920 Speaker 1: you've already figured out zone defense. If somebody says going 202 00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,720 Speaker 1: from two to three, as Manda Manda zone is that 203 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:11,120 Speaker 1: they've never been alone with their two children, and say 204 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:15,720 Speaker 1: very very spoiled, very spoiled. So going from three to 205 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,640 Speaker 1: four was I thought a more intriguing question that this 206 00:10:18,679 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: listener wrote in with that question we do not get. 207 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: But this listener was particularly concerned about the time when 208 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: they were teens and tweens. She says, I'm thinking of 209 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 1: having a fourth child, but I'm concerned about having four 210 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:33,720 Speaker 1: teenagers in the house. I thought that was a very 211 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: strange question in some ways because I think by the 212 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:41,080 Speaker 1: time they are all teenagers, like you're just gonna know 213 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,559 Speaker 1: these four people, like there are four people who have 214 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 1: been in your life for twelve, thirteen, fourteen years, and 215 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: so it's not like you're gonna be sitting there saying, gosh, 216 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: I shouldn't have had one, like they're you know, that's 217 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,240 Speaker 1: just not the way it's gonna think like, So don't 218 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,760 Speaker 1: overthink that. I think the more immediate question is if 219 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:01,959 Speaker 1: you think you can handle another little one, because you 220 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:04,520 Speaker 1: will certainly have figured everything out by the time they 221 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:08,199 Speaker 1: are teenagers. I think it's just a matter of degree, 222 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 1: Like there's not going to be massive differences between three 223 00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 1: teenagers and four teenagers. There's probably not even a massive 224 00:11:12,800 --> 00:11:15,480 Speaker 1: difference between four teenagers and five teenagers, Like it's just 225 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: you have a big, loud house at that point. There 226 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:23,319 Speaker 1: are some benefits of having multiple older children. The older 227 00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 1: ones can drive the younger ones, which is particularly helpful 228 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 1: if you have like two kids in high school. Right 229 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: if the senior can drive the sophomore freshmen to school 230 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,760 Speaker 1: at home, that's awesome. The older kids can also help 231 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:39,840 Speaker 1: supervise elementary school age kids after school sometimes. So yeah, 232 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 1: I think don't overthink it. If the question is whether 233 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:45,200 Speaker 1: you want another member of your family, I wouldn't worry 234 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 1: about any particular later stage, like you know, teen, tween, whatever, 235 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,760 Speaker 1: anything like that. Awesome. I have no words to answer 236 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: this one because I have never experienced that, but great answer. 237 00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: All right, we're going to do one more before our break. 238 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,319 Speaker 1: Number four thoughts on red shirting a kid close to 239 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: kindergarten age. So I think this is so individual. I mean, 240 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,360 Speaker 1: you really have to think about your kid, and not 241 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,719 Speaker 1: whether this is broadly a good idea or not. I mean, 242 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:17,280 Speaker 1: I'm personally not a huge fan of the idea, but 243 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 1: it's never been an issue for us because our kid 244 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,680 Speaker 1: birthdays aren't particularly close, and the two that are close 245 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,440 Speaker 1: to the cutoff or on the other side of the cutoff, 246 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: so they are actually almost always the oldest kids in 247 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 1: their grade. I would be slightly more concerned the other 248 00:12:29,679 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: direction that a child who's really old for their age, 249 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: not for their age, but for their grade, and who 250 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 1: had already gotten some of the school readiness that I 251 00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:40,680 Speaker 1: know many of our listeners are concerned with. So the 252 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,439 Speaker 1: kid has already got their letters, got their numbers, knows 253 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,679 Speaker 1: what a book looks like when you pick it up. 254 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 1: Like that, they'll get really bored with kindergarten when they're 255 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,960 Speaker 1: almost seven years old. I mean, that's just going to 256 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,640 Speaker 1: be like they've already gotten that stuff. So I'd be 257 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:58,160 Speaker 1: more worried about the boredom aspect of red shirting a child. 258 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:01,080 Speaker 1: I think if there are be behavioral issues that make 259 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: you concerned about this, but they do have the school 260 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,319 Speaker 1: readiness part, then maybe want to look into a different 261 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:11,079 Speaker 1: sort of school. I mean, maybe there's smaller school, you know, 262 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 1: different private options that maybe are less about sitting in 263 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 1: desks in more Montessori or regio or whatever the different 264 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,200 Speaker 1: formats are. But that might be worth looking into for 265 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:24,079 Speaker 1: a year or two, with the idea that you plan 266 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: to transition out of that once the child is a 267 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:29,320 Speaker 1: little bit older. For that, one thing I would add 268 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,000 Speaker 1: here is I'm actually a fan of skipping grades, which 269 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:35,840 Speaker 1: was not what the person asked, but I co wrote 270 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 1: slash Ghost wrote a book years ago called Genius Denied 271 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,920 Speaker 1: with two educational philanthropists, Jan and Bob Davidson who run 272 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:47,600 Speaker 1: the Davidson Institute. We have listeners who have profoundly gifted children. 273 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,720 Speaker 1: You should definitely look into their offerings. I would also 274 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:54,040 Speaker 1: say that there is a lot of research on acceleration 275 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 1: and it is actually a great solution for the vast 276 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: majority of kids who are not being check challenged in 277 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,319 Speaker 1: their particular grade. A lot of people are concerned about 278 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,600 Speaker 1: issues that it turns out they do not need to 279 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 1: be concerned about. Again, you know your kid, but if 280 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:09,839 Speaker 1: you're trying to figure out what to do with a 281 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,720 Speaker 1: child who is really really bored in school, needs more challenge, 282 00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: and there aren't great particular gifted offerings in your district, 283 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,040 Speaker 1: usually the best thing you can do is move them 284 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 1: forward a greade or two. So that's not what they 285 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,920 Speaker 1: ask But I'll just put my little soapbox out there 286 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,960 Speaker 1: and talk about that. So, Sarah, what do you think 287 00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 1: that is so interesting? Well, I guess I would. Also 288 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,480 Speaker 1: if anybody has read Emily Oster's book or seen it 289 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 1: on it's actually, I think like a New York Times bestseller. 290 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,480 Speaker 1: She has a whole chapter on this, so you might 291 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:39,960 Speaker 1: want to look into that. I thought it was interesting. 292 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 1: I think this is also so regional. There are certain 293 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 1: areas where it's very very common. So it's like, if 294 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 1: you don't rent shirt, you'll be the only one. Thankfully, Also, 295 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 1: we did not have to make this decision. My youngest 296 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,320 Speaker 1: kid for her grade is Annabelle, and her birthday's April, 297 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 1: so that's not even that young. So I don't know, like, 298 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,760 Speaker 1: you know, if Cameron had been very close to the 299 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,080 Speaker 1: cut off, it might have been something we thought about. Well, 300 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 1: I will say, and this is sort of counterpoint to 301 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,640 Speaker 1: what you said in a way. So although maybe not 302 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,480 Speaker 1: because it turned out great. So maybe. So my husband 303 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 1: was went to move from Virginia to Florida, like, and 304 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: the cutoffs were different. So in Virginia he was a 305 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: normal but very young like first grader because his birthday 306 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,400 Speaker 1: is in December. In Florida, it would not have been 307 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,840 Speaker 1: normal to be in first grade. He would have been 308 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,360 Speaker 1: in I mean, I'm using the grades wrong, but you 309 00:15:23,440 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. The cutoff was different. So he 310 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,200 Speaker 1: was now several months younger than the youngest kid in 311 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:30,720 Speaker 1: his grade, and they didn't they didn't put him back, 312 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 1: and it worked out fine from an academic standpoint, and 313 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 1: so maybe that would argue that, hey, it works great. 314 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: He has a little bit of regret about that because 315 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: he was in athletics, cross country and basketball. He also 316 00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:44,680 Speaker 1: was a very late bloomer, Like I see pictures and 317 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh yeah, wow. So he's like, you know, 318 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,280 Speaker 1: I would have been so much better at sports if 319 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:52,240 Speaker 1: I had been the normal age for my grade instead 320 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,800 Speaker 1: of like a late bloomer and by far the youngest, 321 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 1: so that I looked like like the little small one 322 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,600 Speaker 1: on the team. So that is just like his experience 323 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: and I have colored what we did for our kids, 324 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:04,200 Speaker 1: but it didn't have to because we didn't ever have 325 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,240 Speaker 1: to face this. Yeah, and it's also hard to know. 326 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,800 Speaker 1: If young Josh would have been so terribly bored with school, 327 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:11,680 Speaker 1: he would have started hating school and that would have 328 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:15,400 Speaker 1: cut into his ability to build a career in you know, 329 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:20,240 Speaker 1: the various things he did technology and then so he 330 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 1: certainly was not an academic like failure stories. So from 331 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 1: an academic and life goals standpoint, it worked out beautifully. Yes, 332 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:32,160 Speaker 1: I'm not sure that Josh's professional sports career was ever 333 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,840 Speaker 1: what it was going to although he's very very fast, right, 334 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: We've we've talked about this that he's yeah, he's he's 335 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 1: actually a very good runner. But ye, all right, we 336 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,880 Speaker 1: are late for our break. We okay, back in just 337 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:58,120 Speaker 1: a couple of second seconds. All right, we are back 338 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:02,080 Speaker 1: doing our second mailbag episode over the past few weeks, 339 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,720 Speaker 1: talking all things that our listeners have sent in, Sarah, 340 00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,680 Speaker 1: you want to tee up the next one for us? Yes, 341 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 1: how do your family routines change with sick? I eat 342 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,920 Speaker 1: cold and flu kids? Any best practices to share now? 343 00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:18,880 Speaker 1: They said, sick, not just quarantined, which is what we're 344 00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 1: doing right now. But yeah, that's totally different because nobody 345 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 1: is actually sick in our home. I guess I'll just 346 00:17:25,560 --> 00:17:27,520 Speaker 1: answer since I started, and I'll let you go. So, 347 00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,639 Speaker 1: I guess my biggest thing is like, dial it all down. 348 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,840 Speaker 1: Dial down your screen time rules, dial down your expectations 349 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 1: about types of food, dial down your morning routine because 350 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 1: probably number one, you might get it too. In my case, 351 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 1: I'm probably going to get it too. I seem to 352 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:45,119 Speaker 1: get everything the kids get, and it's just it's really hard. 353 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: So I think I struggle the most if I fail 354 00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 1: to lower my expectations and then I sort of failed 355 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 1: to meet my expectations, and then that becomes a stressor No, 356 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,400 Speaker 1: illness is like a legitimate reason to do the bare 357 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,680 Speaker 1: minimum and survive and coddle your kids and use screen 358 00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:04,080 Speaker 1: time and eat popsicles, et cetera. So that's my take 359 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 1: on PA. Yes, roll with it, I would say, Yeah, 360 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,679 Speaker 1: one little, tiny, tiny silver lining of COVID is we 361 00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 1: have actually had far less of this than I think 362 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,400 Speaker 1: we would have over the past year and a half, because, 363 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,240 Speaker 1: I mean, when everyone's masked and six feet apart, it 364 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,280 Speaker 1: turns out COVID isn't the only thing you don't catch. 365 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:25,440 Speaker 1: You don't catch every single cold that is going around. 366 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:30,000 Speaker 1: Although we did have about of GI issues this summer 367 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 1: where everyone except me got it. I was queasy for 368 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,160 Speaker 1: like two weeks, but at least I did not succumb 369 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,359 Speaker 1: to the vomiting episode. With a big family, this becomes 370 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 1: a bit of a guessing game, like who's gonna get 371 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 1: it next? Who is waking me up in the middle 372 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:46,840 Speaker 1: of the night because they're throwing up. I don't know 373 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 1: who it'll be tonight. Let's see so exciting GI roulette. 374 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:55,719 Speaker 1: So if you have little ones, obviously the first thing 375 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 1: you know, you obviously have to figure out what your 376 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,240 Speaker 1: kid coverage arrangement it's going to be, if your kids 377 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,640 Speaker 1: are out of daycare or school, if you are going 378 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,560 Speaker 1: into the parenting. We had a question from a new 379 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:08,479 Speaker 1: mom about earlier in this episode. This is another thing 380 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 1: to have an explicit conversation about your childcare arrangements, Who 381 00:19:11,880 --> 00:19:13,920 Speaker 1: deals with it when it falls through, or how do 382 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:16,120 Speaker 1: you split the dealing with it when it falls through? 383 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,879 Speaker 1: A surprising number of people, and I've seen statistics on this, 384 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 1: even when mom has the much less flexible job. Still 385 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:28,800 Speaker 1: assume it is mom who is supposed to accommodate a 386 00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:33,120 Speaker 1: child illness or disruption in school or daycare. And sometimes 387 00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:35,280 Speaker 1: it's mom thinks that too, I mean, is the assumption 388 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: that a sick kid needs mom? I mean, and that 389 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,760 Speaker 1: can be great if that's the way your family operates. 390 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,440 Speaker 1: But I think you need to say this and have 391 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: this conversation so everyone is on board with what the 392 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 1: answer is. Or maybe it's that on Monday and Tuesday 393 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,720 Speaker 1: it's dad's responsibility, on Wednesday and Thursday it's mom's responsibility. 394 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,639 Speaker 1: Whatever it is you want to work out, but or 395 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,080 Speaker 1: week to week, like who's going to be on coverage? 396 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,359 Speaker 1: But if you assume that people will get sick and 397 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,679 Speaker 1: you have a backup plan in place, this winds up 398 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:05,440 Speaker 1: being far less disruption. Lower your expectations, as Sarah was saying, 399 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 1: and just as a practical matter, keeps supplies on hand 400 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:12,920 Speaker 1: for any regular illness stuff like children's tile and all pedialite, 401 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:14,560 Speaker 1: Like you definitely do not want to be running to 402 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 1: the drug store with a vomiting baby if you have 403 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,760 Speaker 1: a sudden need for peda light. I'm obviously I hope 404 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,439 Speaker 1: you have friends who would go get it for you, 405 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 1: but just helps to have it, you know, in the closet, 406 00:20:25,119 --> 00:20:29,840 Speaker 1: ready to go when the inevitable happens. Maybe even some 407 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,399 Speaker 1: home COVID tests. Home COVID tests, that's true, you can 408 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:35,440 Speaker 1: get those now, so that will yesh for the inevitable exactly, 409 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 1: all right? Next question, how do you track your nanny's hours? 410 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:42,280 Speaker 1: And then how do you help others see the value 411 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:47,080 Speaker 1: of not counting their salary versus childcare but the household total. Yes, 412 00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,399 Speaker 1: we combine questions there. This was not the same person 413 00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,000 Speaker 1: asking these two, but I felt they were related enough 414 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 1: that we should go into it. So, Sarah, what do 415 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,600 Speaker 1: you guys do? I think it sounds like we do 416 00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: a very similar thing, which is that we basically have 417 00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,440 Speaker 1: a standard number of hours, which includes over time. Like 418 00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,439 Speaker 1: let's say it's fifty. I don't even remember it's on 419 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,640 Speaker 1: our nanny pay thing, but let's say it's fifty and 420 00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,800 Speaker 1: she gets paid for fifty hours. No matter what. If 421 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,439 Speaker 1: she works thirty six, she gets paid for fifty. If 422 00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:10,240 Speaker 1: she works forty two, she gets paid for fifty. Like 423 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:12,359 Speaker 1: that is kind of like her baseline because I consider 424 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,040 Speaker 1: her on call, and she knows she's on call, so 425 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 1: if a kid is sick, she's coming in. So it's 426 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:19,119 Speaker 1: kind of like just the deal we have. Now, if 427 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,639 Speaker 1: she works more than that, then I put those hours 428 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,440 Speaker 1: into nanny pay and it calculates it with the one 429 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,359 Speaker 1: point five the overtime calculation, and then I give her 430 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:29,199 Speaker 1: the extra. Our ceiling is high enough. She doesn't go 431 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 1: over it that often, especially now that the kids are 432 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:38,760 Speaker 1: in school, although this way she might because quarantine. Yeah exactly. Yeah, yeah, now, 433 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 1: and I mentioned nanny Pay. Sorry, I just wanted to 434 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,160 Speaker 1: give details in case anyone's curious. I've mentioned it before. 435 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,479 Speaker 1: It's an app you pay for. You have to get 436 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 1: a yearly subscription. It's fairly DIY, but you can enter 437 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,680 Speaker 1: the hourly rate. You enter the hours, it will print 438 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: out tax forms. You have to still file it yourself 439 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:57,080 Speaker 1: and everything, but it's been helpful so I don't have 440 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 1: to like manually do the math, and then it kind 441 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,719 Speaker 1: of keeps the record for me as well. Yeah, we 442 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 1: do GTM, which is a little bit less DIY, but 443 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,480 Speaker 1: over the years we've had like more than one person, 444 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 1: for instance, and so at that point it becomes you're 445 00:22:10,320 --> 00:22:13,440 Speaker 1: more managing a business payroll, and like keeping track of 446 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,920 Speaker 1: all of it yourself would be very complicated. And it's 447 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,560 Speaker 1: not that expensive once you start having more than one employee, 448 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,080 Speaker 1: because there's a certain amount for one, but then each 449 00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:26,160 Speaker 1: additional employee is not much over that, so there's you're 450 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,440 Speaker 1: amortizing the cost. I would agree that you should set 451 00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:33,959 Speaker 1: a regular number of contracted hours and just not fret 452 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,120 Speaker 1: if she is a little bit under that. I think 453 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:39,600 Speaker 1: this sounds like a lot of extra mental load that 454 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,720 Speaker 1: you just do not need to be doing. I think 455 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 1: it's also like maybe not a great employment situation if 456 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,720 Speaker 1: somebody can't count on a certain number of hours per week, 457 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:53,360 Speaker 1: right like that. People need their own budgeting stuff, right 458 00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 1: like they need to know how much they're going to 459 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,919 Speaker 1: earn every week so that they can set you know, 460 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 1: what they can pay for housing, what they can pay 461 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,680 Speaker 1: for their train, all that other stuff. So you want 462 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:06,080 Speaker 1: to be guaranteeing a certain number of hours just as 463 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 1: a condition of somebody having a job. That they would 464 00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:12,399 Speaker 1: want to have, and then you don't worry much about 465 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:15,280 Speaker 1: it if it goes a little under, because hey, that's 466 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:16,880 Speaker 1: that's part of the deal. Now, if you go over, 467 00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,520 Speaker 1: then you would need to keep track of that. But 468 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 1: hopefully you have set the baseline at an amount where 469 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know, three out of four or 470 00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:25,760 Speaker 1: four out of five weeks that's where it is. So 471 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:29,439 Speaker 1: you're just not adding this mental load to yourself that 472 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,159 Speaker 1: you really do not need to do. Now the bigger 473 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:38,800 Speaker 1: question of whose salary does the childcare count against? Like 474 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,120 Speaker 1: you know, this is really just you have to either 475 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:46,399 Speaker 1: believe that childcare is a joint expense or you don't. 476 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,080 Speaker 1: If your assumption is that mom working is just a 477 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,160 Speaker 1: nice little thing to have that she doesn't want need 478 00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,159 Speaker 1: to do, you know, then you will come at this 479 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 1: differently than if you don't. But I would imagine that 480 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,560 Speaker 1: a great many best of both world's listeners could theoretically, 481 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,159 Speaker 1: I mean, even if you're not or even not in 482 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: your cost of living area, but you theoretically could support 483 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:09,159 Speaker 1: a family on your salary in the sense that there 484 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 1: are many many families who are living on that amount, 485 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: and so it is theoretically possible. So in that sense, 486 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 1: since either of you could support the family on your own, 487 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: it is not automatic if you are the lower earning 488 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 1: party that you would have to quit, meaning that your 489 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: salary should be the one that it is counted against. 490 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 1: But again, either believe it a shared expense or you don't. 491 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,480 Speaker 1: I mean, is your house a shared expense or your 492 00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,639 Speaker 1: utility is a shared expense? Like you know, you like 493 00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 1: the house cooler, so therefore the utility should only count 494 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 1: against your salary. I mean, I don't. I don't understand, 495 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,679 Speaker 1: like how you can even have a joint household and 496 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:51,600 Speaker 1: sort of have these these stipulations. I think it also 497 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:55,080 Speaker 1: helps to look at this not as a point in time. 498 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,240 Speaker 1: We've talked about this a lot on this podcast in 499 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,439 Speaker 1: the past, I've talked about this on my blog. But 500 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 1: when economists are looking at a question of an investment, 501 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,679 Speaker 1: you don't look at just this specific time when the 502 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,560 Speaker 1: money is going out. You also have to look at 503 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:10,360 Speaker 1: the time when the returns are coming back. So if 504 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,040 Speaker 1: you are considering going to college, for instance, you don't 505 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,679 Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, I shouldn't go to college 506 00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,160 Speaker 1: because for four years I'm paying more than I'm taking 507 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,359 Speaker 1: in like that would be a very silly way to 508 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,680 Speaker 1: look at the question of whether you should go to college. 509 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,359 Speaker 1: The question is do I think I will get a 510 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: big enough return on this investment that it is worth making. 511 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 1: And for childcare, it is basically the same thing, because 512 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 1: if you stay in the workforce, which is what childcare 513 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:38,240 Speaker 1: enables for both of you over time, most likely your 514 00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 1: income will rise over time your childcare costs will fall. 515 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: Like you won't be needing full time childcare when you 516 00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,120 Speaker 1: have teenagers, I mean most likely you won't. So from 517 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:51,960 Speaker 1: that sense, there are major returns over time from staying 518 00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:56,440 Speaker 1: in the workforce. So you want to consider those early 519 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,520 Speaker 1: years where the childcare costs are high and maybe your 520 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,240 Speaker 1: income isn't as high as it could be as an investment, 521 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 1: and looking forward to those years when you are reaping 522 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,639 Speaker 1: the benefits of having stayed in and having much lower costs, 523 00:26:08,080 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 1: not to mention the non financial piece of like happiness 524 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 1: and the fact that this is your life that you 525 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:19,640 Speaker 1: are living and get to choose to live and if 526 00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,920 Speaker 1: you want to work then I mean, I guess it 527 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:24,320 Speaker 1: just sort of to me, it makes like the math 528 00:26:24,320 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 1: of like why even do the math? There's not even 529 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: a point because if you wanted to stay in the workforce, 530 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 1: if you want, if it makes you happier, if you 531 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 1: feel like you can be a better person and enjoy 532 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: your life more, and the family's not going under because 533 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 1: you're working, then I just feel like this math problem 534 00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:41,280 Speaker 1: is like, don't even do it. Yep, there you a 535 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 1: best of both worlds answer, right, And to be honest, 536 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 1: I never do this math like I think of it. 537 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,440 Speaker 1: You're right, like, I just think of it as like, Okay, 538 00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,160 Speaker 1: this is an expense we have, But I've never really 539 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,120 Speaker 1: sat there and said like, oh, it's x percent of 540 00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:58,400 Speaker 1: my take home pay or whatever, because it's just not relevant, 541 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,439 Speaker 1: like it's not what I wanted to do. The end, 542 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:06,400 Speaker 1: I'm giving you permission to just reject exactly exactly. All right. 543 00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 1: Next question, also financially related, How and when do you 544 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,399 Speaker 1: do your budget? Is it part of your weekly review, 545 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 1: daily task, et cetera. All right, Sarah, you give their 546 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,360 Speaker 1: answer on that one. Laura's going to give her non 547 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 1: answer in a moment. So we enter transactions as we go, 548 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,719 Speaker 1: and I say we my husband's usually good about it. 549 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 1: Every once in a while, who lot a bunch of 550 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,960 Speaker 1: receipts accumulated in his wallet and I will have to 551 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:30,119 Speaker 1: chase them down at the end of the month. But 552 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,160 Speaker 1: we're both pretty good about it. It's just reflexive. At 553 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 1: this point. We use an app called You Need a Budget, 554 00:27:34,560 --> 00:27:36,280 Speaker 1: and it's like a matter of seconds. You just pull 555 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 1: it up, throw it in there. Now, every month I 556 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 1: do a full audit using You Need a Budget pretty 557 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,800 Speaker 1: much without fail. I think I skipped like one year, 558 00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 1: but really for the last like five six years, I've 559 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:49,160 Speaker 1: done this and just to make sure everything lines up 560 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 1: and that I'm not missing any transactions, which we invariably 561 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,760 Speaker 1: do sometimes, especially stuff that like has charged online or 562 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:58,199 Speaker 1: things like that. And then every three months we do 563 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:02,240 Speaker 1: a quarterly we like excel as sessiment of the longer 564 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,320 Speaker 1: term picture, looking at like net worth and where savings 565 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:06,680 Speaker 1: are and how much you know, various investments have earned 566 00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:10,119 Speaker 1: and stuff like that. So we're pretty regimented about that. 567 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,639 Speaker 1: I'm the one who actually sets the budget for like 568 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:16,920 Speaker 1: the different categories each month, and I truly relish and 569 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 1: that privilege and enjoy it. So hopefully no one will 570 00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,240 Speaker 1: take that job over for me, because it's fun. So 571 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 1: how do you decide to change a category I'm curious, like, 572 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:28,840 Speaker 1: what would be the impetus that you would shift something, Well, 573 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,360 Speaker 1: just if it's something that aligns with what we want 574 00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 1: our values. So, for example, we're thinking about doing overnight 575 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,320 Speaker 1: camp this year, which is obviously a much larger expense, 576 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,840 Speaker 1: and so I'm going to put more in that bucket 577 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:43,200 Speaker 1: each month. It's just a matter of what we want 578 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 1: to do. I guess, yeah, I don't have a really 579 00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:51,560 Speaker 1: good answer on this. We are both pretty frugal. We 580 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,200 Speaker 1: have sort of a set amount of thinking that goes 581 00:28:54,240 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: out every year basically, and as long as our bind 582 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:07,360 Speaker 1: joint after income tax exceeds that by a substantial amount, 583 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,760 Speaker 1: then it just doesn't matter in the individual day to 584 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:14,840 Speaker 1: day sort of life. So, you know, if you set 585 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:19,160 Speaker 1: your base expenses as a sort of relatively small percentage 586 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 1: of your income, so particularly in something like housing, and 587 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:24,880 Speaker 1: I know Sarah has talked about this in the past, 588 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,920 Speaker 1: that they have made a deliberate choice to have a 589 00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:33,000 Speaker 1: relatively small housing you know cost as compared to what 590 00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 1: anyone would say they could afford, and that just leaves 591 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,680 Speaker 1: a lot more wiggle room for other things. And I 592 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:41,680 Speaker 1: think we operate under the same principle that if you 593 00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:44,840 Speaker 1: keep these set expenses relatively small, then you have a 594 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 1: fair amount of wiggle room. And Sarah likes to track it. 595 00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:49,720 Speaker 1: I don't like to track it. I like to track 596 00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: my time, which I think Sarah it less likes to track. 597 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,720 Speaker 1: So we all have certain things that we are into 598 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,840 Speaker 1: tracking or not to tracking. And I have decided for 599 00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 1: my own mental sanate, I prefer not to think about 600 00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:09,480 Speaker 1: specific small dollar amounts because I have very frugal tendencies 601 00:30:09,560 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: and I would start doing things like making us buy 602 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:19,320 Speaker 1: the store brand peanut butter instead of Skippy, and that 603 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,760 Speaker 1: would drive my husband crazy since he's the one doing 604 00:30:21,800 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 1: the grocery shopping. So we just let it ride. That's 605 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:30,160 Speaker 1: so funny. Yeah, my budgeting doesn't really tempt me to. 606 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,680 Speaker 1: I don't think either of us are again, naturally particularly frugal, 607 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 1: So that's a difference there. It's not like I was 608 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,560 Speaker 1: trying to, like what's the word tightening, Like I'm trying 609 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,280 Speaker 1: to tighten each category and try to get to like 610 00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 1: fifty percent savings rate or something I'm seeing like, No, 611 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,320 Speaker 1: not ever tempted to do that, and it rains me 612 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:50,200 Speaker 1: in and it's it's necessary for us. So yeah, So funny. Obviously. 613 00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,360 Speaker 1: I just want to recognize here that very feel very 614 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:54,840 Speaker 1: privileged to be able to do that, right, like to 615 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,479 Speaker 1: be able to set housing expenses relatively low. You know, 616 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,560 Speaker 1: you can't do that everywhere and get a good school 617 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 1: district and safe places. And so I say that that 618 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,640 Speaker 1: is obviously a privilege that we enjoy, and I'm very 619 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:11,920 Speaker 1: thrilled about that. But yes, not having to track individual 620 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 1: dollars is a major mental health benefit for me right now. 621 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,400 Speaker 1: I love it all right, Next question, what are your 622 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 1: favorite kid activities and least favorite kiddective I thought this 623 00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:25,479 Speaker 1: was a great question. Yeah, so I'm a fan of 624 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:27,959 Speaker 1: rock climbing lessons. I will throw that out there. It's 625 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 1: kind of random, but it's something if you have children 626 00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 1: who are not shall we say, particularly gifted in the 627 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 1: ball sports category, right, which requires a lot of hand 628 00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:43,000 Speaker 1: eye coordination, or if they are not particularly swift, which 629 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 1: is also another thing that is necessary for say soccer 630 00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 1: or basketball or whatever. Rock climbing has a lot going 631 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:55,240 Speaker 1: for it because very few people have inherent upper body strength, 632 00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: and so it's something that everyone is going to have 633 00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,720 Speaker 1: to learn, and so you're not starting from being so 634 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: far behind in the way that you are from things 635 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,720 Speaker 1: that you know involve balls or running that people are 636 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 1: more doing from young ages. It's uh, you know, kind 637 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,760 Speaker 1: of fun for kids because it seems a little bit 638 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:17,680 Speaker 1: dangerous in rock climbing gyms. It really isn't. My least favorite, 639 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 1: I will have to say is wrestling. I am very 640 00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:23,720 Speaker 1: proud of Sam for doing it for a couple of years. 641 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 1: He did it for like three years. Watching your kid 642 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:30,000 Speaker 1: wrestle one on one in the middle of a ring, 643 00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:36,880 Speaker 1: it's just like physical combat, Oh so hard to watch. Plus, 644 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:40,760 Speaker 1: like the meets were always somewhere in random rural Pennsylvania 645 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,480 Speaker 1: towns at like eight am and Saturday, and so I 646 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:49,440 Speaker 1: was just a logistical ridiculousness to get there and you know, 647 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:53,000 Speaker 1: be there for like four hours for three meets, like 648 00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,600 Speaker 1: for three matches. So I was not sad when he 649 00:32:56,640 --> 00:33:02,320 Speaker 1: elected to stop doing wrestling. How about you, Sarah, I 650 00:33:02,360 --> 00:33:06,040 Speaker 1: am excited. We have some gymnastics classes that have started. 651 00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:10,200 Speaker 1: They participate masked and haven't put too much of a 652 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,200 Speaker 1: fight about it. But I like it because it's fun 653 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,680 Speaker 1: to watch, because I enjoyed it as a kid, and 654 00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:17,400 Speaker 1: because I get to sit like somewhere comfortable and watch, 655 00:33:18,200 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 1: so the corollary, And I feel so bad saying this 656 00:33:22,080 --> 00:33:24,120 Speaker 1: because I don't really mean that I dislike it, because 657 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:26,760 Speaker 1: the kids liked it, and you know, there does seem 658 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 1: to be at least some talent with ball sports with 659 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,960 Speaker 1: at least one of my kids. But I hated like 660 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 1: sitting on the sidelines of soccer for hours. It was 661 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,760 Speaker 1: so hot, and like, especially if there was a toddler 662 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 1: with me or a you know, preschooler, it's justugh. But 663 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 1: I don't know, We'll maybe figure out ways to continue 664 00:33:43,600 --> 00:33:46,800 Speaker 1: that those sports without the part from me. And then 665 00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:48,880 Speaker 1: I also feel like I have a lot of childhood 666 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:51,959 Speaker 1: baggage around, like being told to practice music and so 667 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,800 Speaker 1: that I have a love hate with that because I 668 00:33:53,920 --> 00:33:56,320 Speaker 1: love my kids to learn music, but I do not 669 00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:57,880 Speaker 1: want to be in the position where I'm telling them 670 00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:00,000 Speaker 1: to practice, but I also don't want them not to practice. 671 00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,280 Speaker 1: So I just I'm in a little bit of like 672 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:06,960 Speaker 1: a spiral with that. Yes, that sounds yes, I would say. 673 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,960 Speaker 1: Just as a practical tip, if listeners have many children, 674 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,080 Speaker 1: including older ones and younger ones, you may wish to 675 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,040 Speaker 1: hire a sitter on the weekend for a few hours. 676 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:22,080 Speaker 1: If you are facing down long swim meets or wrestling 677 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,760 Speaker 1: meets or things like that, because while it is miserable 678 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,160 Speaker 1: enough to be at a four hour wrestling meet, it 679 00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,919 Speaker 1: is even more miserable with a two year old. You're 680 00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: chasing around and you also inevitably wind up missing like 681 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,880 Speaker 1: the really cool move your kid did, because that's the 682 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,400 Speaker 1: moment where your two year old alects to go, you know, 683 00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,600 Speaker 1: throw over the trash can that's sitting on the side 684 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:47,640 Speaker 1: of the gym. So something to keep in mind. Well, 685 00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:49,279 Speaker 1: we had one more, but I think we should save 686 00:34:49,320 --> 00:34:52,200 Speaker 1: it for a future episodes Q and A because it's 687 00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:55,719 Speaker 1: more involved. So don't worry. A person who wrote in 688 00:34:55,760 --> 00:35:00,880 Speaker 1: about this other thing, sorry, that's ever beat whatever. I 689 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:04,239 Speaker 1: just had to guess yes, exactly, So we will get 690 00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:08,680 Speaker 1: into our love of the week. A reader wrote to 691 00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:10,640 Speaker 1: me about this, and I remember the first time I 692 00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,120 Speaker 1: looked at it, I was like, ough, Like okay, so 693 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:15,279 Speaker 1: what it is is? It was this YouTube video by 694 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,279 Speaker 1: a very popular YouTuber that I'm sure half of our 695 00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,759 Speaker 1: audience has heard of, named Jordan Page. She runs the 696 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,840 Speaker 1: site fun Cheaper Free. Her demeanor is a little different. 697 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:29,080 Speaker 1: She's a little outrageous and out there, and the editing 698 00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:31,400 Speaker 1: of the videos is like these super quick fast cuts 699 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,520 Speaker 1: that to me is like a little I don't know, 700 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,759 Speaker 1: not my favorite style. However, I don't remember it. Oh 701 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:39,640 Speaker 1: so somebody alerted me to her planner product, which, as 702 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:41,520 Speaker 1: you know, I have that other podcast I review planners. 703 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,040 Speaker 1: It sounded intriguing, so I watched the video again and 704 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,440 Speaker 1: I still found the video not the world's most fun 705 00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,040 Speaker 1: to watch. Now, She's definitely never going to be a 706 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:51,120 Speaker 1: guest on our show whatever, but I thought her concept 707 00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,120 Speaker 1: of her time blocking method was very different than the 708 00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:56,480 Speaker 1: time blocking I had heard before. I thought it had 709 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,960 Speaker 1: some value. I thought her planner was actually very unique 710 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:02,360 Speaker 1: in a sea of planners that are very similar. So 711 00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,640 Speaker 1: Jordan Paige, I had to give you a second look, 712 00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:07,480 Speaker 1: but might be something our readers would be interested in 713 00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,040 Speaker 1: checking out. Yeah, well, I'll do my Love of the week. 714 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:13,239 Speaker 1: I'm enjoying my Whitney English planner that Sarah bought for me. 715 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:17,040 Speaker 1: I am using it. I you know, like when you 716 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,239 Speaker 1: switch planners, you always have to sort of figure out 717 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,960 Speaker 1: what you can do with things. But I've found some 718 00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,799 Speaker 1: additional pages in the Whitney English where I could make 719 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:28,800 Speaker 1: lists sort of bullet journal style. There are various places 720 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:31,279 Speaker 1: through there, and there is enough space on the two 721 00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:34,759 Speaker 1: pages for each week for me to do roughly what 722 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,640 Speaker 1: I was doing on my cheap bon notebook before. So 723 00:36:37,680 --> 00:36:41,400 Speaker 1: it's exciting to have elevated my planner game. So thanks 724 00:36:41,440 --> 00:36:44,560 Speaker 1: to Sarah for giving me that and for recommending it 725 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,000 Speaker 1: on Best Like Plans, which everyone should go check out 726 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:50,040 Speaker 1: if you're not already listening to Sarah's other podcast. I 727 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:52,319 Speaker 1: am so excited that the match ended up working out. 728 00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:57,400 Speaker 1: I was actually nervous to ask you no, no, It's 729 00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,399 Speaker 1: all good, all right. Well, this has been an all 730 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,879 Speaker 1: mailbag episode. We will be back next week with more 731 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:06,320 Speaker 1: on making work and life fit together. Thanks for listening. 732 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,680 Speaker 1: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com 733 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:13,560 Speaker 1: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can 734 00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:17,839 Speaker 1: find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has 735 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:21,200 Speaker 1: been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us 736 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:24,600 Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work together.