Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 2: So you guys this uh this week. Don't worry. I'm
Speaker 2: not going to start with by the way, I kind
Speaker 2: of liked it. I laughed at I did. I did
Speaker 2: listen back because I just kind of wanted to hear
Speaker 2: the flow of the show last week because people were
Speaker 2: saying they were loving it. So I was like, all right,
Speaker 2: let's listen back, see like what you know, what was good,
Speaker 2: what was working, you know whatever? But when when christ
Speaker 2: and when you go is this are we going to
Speaker 2: say this is the end of the show. Now, this
Speaker 2: is where we say goodbye. Well we love a marker.
Speaker 2: I just love that. So you know, I have notes
Speaker 2: because but I for my my host chat and then
Speaker 2: I'm only bringing this up not to go in the
Speaker 2: order again. But I'm not doing that. You're listening to
Speaker 2: wind down. Yes, but I'm having a hard time separating
Speaker 2: my host chat from my wine about it because I
Speaker 2: feel like they've blend together.
Speaker 3: I was trying to figure out where I pinned my
Speaker 3: items for discussion.
Speaker 2: Because I feel like it's just going to be a constant.
Speaker 2: Didn't whine That's how I felt last week. You weren't
Speaker 2: whining though, those were like really right, they were hard,
Speaker 2: but it is kind of hard to like, hey, what's
Speaker 2: going on with your week?
Speaker 1: But then it's like, you know, so it is kind
Speaker 1: of hard to.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's like a little bit of a hybrid. Yeah
Speaker 2: it is. And I think I'm on my period. It's
Speaker 2: been raining all three you're all now on your parents.
Speaker 3: I started on Friday, Saturday, Saturday night, Ambush Saturday night
Speaker 3: and pretty jam you were usually Sunday. I was, well,
Speaker 3: I'm actually extra proud of us, wow, because you guys
Speaker 3: can we Actually I don't know where.
Speaker 1: I don't know where to put this either, but.
Speaker 3: On the periods, I just am wondering because I know
Speaker 3: I'm only like a little bit older, but by a year, right,
Speaker 3: you being like older than us, Yeah, not by much,
Speaker 3: just forty three, right, so only a couple forty one?
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, so but I know that in the
Speaker 3: forty two years carry the one the remainder of this
Speaker 3: is why we talk instead of doing math for a living.
Speaker 3: So I have heard though, in the forties, like every
Speaker 3: year kind of counts when it comes to like perimenopausal
Speaker 3: symptoms and like all of that, Like people are like, Wow,
Speaker 3: you know it hit me at forty four, it hit
Speaker 3: me at forty two, whatever have you. I need to
Speaker 3: know because I can tell my feelings and hormones are
Speaker 3: wiling out right before it happens. I know it because
Speaker 3: I'm like, this feels like that, but there's nobody in
Speaker 3: my brain telling me, don't say it. Christin, Oh, we've
Speaker 3: talked about this and it's gotten so much worse. I
Speaker 3: don't know, in fact embarrassing. Yeah, and I'm ravenously eating.
Speaker 3: I knew something was up Friday because I just was.
Speaker 3: It was like, couldn't get enough same.
Speaker 2: I had a whole bag of set chips because I
Speaker 2: just needed the salt.
Speaker 3: I went to Jimmy John's first time in seven years
Speaker 3: freaky fast. Did you see Mike and the kids because
Speaker 3: they're every day?
Speaker 2: Didn't?
Speaker 3: I sure didn't. I'm gonna just hold all of my jokes.
Speaker 3: I feel like that was really good discernment. I just
Speaker 3: feel like it's like so hormonally driven. It's almost like
Speaker 3: I don't know who I am in the moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I went through a really bad phase of that.
Speaker 1: Mine's gotten a little bit better, So I don't know
Speaker 1: what that means. But I went through a really bad
Speaker 1: phase of it. I mean, even like my whole family
Speaker 1: kind of knew.
Speaker 3: I mean, Preston even was trying to be kind last night,
Speaker 3: but he said, baby, I like it when you settle
Speaker 3: in a couple of days in He's like, it's just
Speaker 3: really like a different version of you. And I I know.
Speaker 3: And I didn't even deny it or snap. I just said,
Speaker 3: I know, you explained it perfectly. It's like, you know,
Speaker 3: and it's like, don't say that, don't say.
Speaker 1: That, but you say it anyway. That's how I know. Like,
Speaker 1: I mean, I hear it coming out of my mouth
Speaker 1: and I know how ridiculous it is.
Speaker 2: And don't you cringe a little?
Speaker 3: But also my pride is so big or something that
Speaker 3: even the cringing can't stop me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Oh it's a weird thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like a few days before it's mine
Speaker 2: is a few days before yeah, my period where i
Speaker 2: feel like I'm just squeezing everything in to not explode,
Speaker 2: and then it explodes. And then I go, let me
Speaker 2: go check my flow tracker and I'm like, four days
Speaker 2: until period. I'm like, well that tracks so yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: and then I do my apologies. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, yeah,
Speaker 2: and sometimes I don't. Yeah, yeah, that's okay.
Speaker 1: We now have I mean I had someone actually say
Speaker 1: to me one time, like, you probably shouldn't have shared
Speaker 1: that about your daughter, that she's on her paper. I'm like,
Speaker 1: she's thirteen, like at this point, like we all know
Speaker 1: like that it's human and it's life or whatever. But
Speaker 1: in our house, it's like we'll come home from a
Speaker 1: cheer practice and Nick will literally go, so did you
Speaker 1: both start your period? Because we're just like yelling at
Speaker 1: each other.
Speaker 2: So once I'm on it, I'm fine, I'm I'm tired,
Speaker 2: but that's about it.
Speaker 1: So she usually is a few days before me, so
Speaker 1: hers will be like when she first, she'll be a
Speaker 1: little bit more emotion and a little bit cranky, and
Speaker 1: then I'm usually behind her, so it's like it it
Speaker 1: lines up perfectly for me to be a few days
Speaker 1: before and then it's just like, okay, these are the
Speaker 1: days we I just need to not take you to
Speaker 1: practice and we need to not be in the car
Speaker 1: for forty five minutes the worst.
Speaker 3: I feel like before I used to have this really
Speaker 3: strong part of me as a fifty to fifty split
Speaker 3: half of me was like girl, you're going crazy, and
Speaker 3: the other half was like, ah, we know what this is.
Speaker 3: Let's just table that, don't say it out loud. Whoever
Speaker 3: that girl is is gone now, and she is she
Speaker 3: is replaced fully with some fighter like she whoever came
Speaker 3: in is.
Speaker 2: She's a badass, but she's full of regret. Full of regret.
Speaker 1: That's funny.
Speaker 2: Well, I will just segue this into I was watching
Speaker 2: your story, Kristen and the the Glove that you found on.
Speaker 2: So we just finished the OJ documentary I started out
Speaker 2: last time. I have sigo to ask you, Yeah, did
Speaker 2: you watched it? Yeah? No, okay, well we finished watching it.
Speaker 2: I had such a hard time. I'm falling asleep the
Speaker 2: night that we finished it because what he told his
Speaker 2: agent just literally kept me up at night. It was
Speaker 2: just wild to me. Did you do I mean to
Speaker 2: say what he said?
Speaker 1: I don't care about spoiler to everybody if you don't
Speaker 1: want to know.
Speaker 2: Spoiler alert also history also out there too. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 2: but he said basically, they were talking and he said
Speaker 2: to the agent. You know, OJ said to his agent,
Speaker 2: do you think I did it? And the agent goes,
Speaker 2: this was that moment where I do I fall on
Speaker 2: the no man, like you know, the agent, just the
Speaker 2: yes person, whatever he goes. But I'm going to tell
Speaker 2: him the truth. And he said, yes, I actually do
Speaker 2: think that you did. And he kind of looked away,
Speaker 2: I guess, and then said, man, if a quote unque.
Speaker 2: I don't know what the actual quote was, but this
Speaker 2: was as close as I can get to it. He said,
Speaker 2: if only if she didn't show up to the door
Speaker 2: with a knife in her hand, she'd still be alive today.
Speaker 2: And that's what he said. And I go to just
Speaker 2: that thought of how a narcissist explains that there's no
Speaker 2: way like, yes, she was. I mean from the nine
Speaker 2: one one calls that she had called on him before
Speaker 2: and the domestic abuse that he did to her there,
Speaker 2: I have a hard time believing that he didn't go
Speaker 2: there just to kill her. I have a hard time.
Speaker 2: I feel like a narcissist would say he literally blamed
Speaker 2: her for opening the door with a knife, like that's
Speaker 2: how I'm like, I just and it just made me
Speaker 2: so angry. I agree. And it's a haunting. Yeah, it
Speaker 2: was just such a.
Speaker 3: It was such a narcissists way to frame it. It
Speaker 3: was the way it was framed when I saw how
Speaker 3: is this her fault? You've made this her fault?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was just so sad to just what
Speaker 2: there were so many things that weren't put into evidence,
Speaker 2: and then how they twisted the case. I mean, I
Speaker 2: didn't know any of that. I just because I'm like, God,
Speaker 2: I don't even want to watch this. We know what happens.
Speaker 2: It's like the Titan, you know, whatever. But then you
Speaker 2: watch it and you're just like, this wasn't put into evidence.
Speaker 2: This wasn't and they turned it into this, and it's
Speaker 2: just it was just maddening.
Speaker 1: It's scary to think how. I understand why it's there, obviously,
Speaker 1: but it's scary to think how that can change so
Speaker 1: much what what is not allowed in evidence, what you
Speaker 1: can talk about, what you can't talk about, and that
Speaker 1: can change the trajectory of a huge lawsuit like that.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's crazy, our huge trial. It's also weird.
Speaker 3: I really am going to sound dumb, but I'm just
Speaker 3: gonna throw myself under the bus. But I didn't realize
Speaker 3: the difference in like the federal case, in the.
Speaker 2: Civil criminal and civil. Basically he got criminal and civil.
Speaker 1: Is that what it is?
Speaker 2: This was the civil after it was after and they said, yes,
Speaker 2: he he did it, but then he just you know,
Speaker 2: the the the sister of the other victim was like,
Speaker 2: and then he just walked away and got into his
Speaker 2: car and we haven't received a penny mind me.
Speaker 1: So he this is where I'm going to sound remind
Speaker 1: So he was convicted.
Speaker 2: Or oj in the civil case, in the civil but
Speaker 2: not the criminal, not the criminal, so criminal he was
Speaker 2: let off and then they did if it didn't quit
Speaker 2: right right, So then civil though, they said he did,
Speaker 2: and then that was just it. Yeah, he was order
Speaker 2: to pay like thirty three million dollars.
Speaker 1: And then okay, yeah, yeah, gosh. I just feel like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's well.
Speaker 3: We were also young when it happened, so I think
Speaker 3: it is like I remember obviously some of it, but
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 2: I didn't know as much and I shouldn't remember watching
Speaker 2: the verdict in our seventh grade science class and oh wow, yeah,
Speaker 2: isn't that insane?
Speaker 1: That ist like we shouldn't have been.
Speaker 2: Watching right in seventh grade it was seventh or eighth
Speaker 2: grade whatever it was. But I just remember the teacher
Speaker 2: being like, this is history and we need to like
Speaker 2: put this on Yeah. I think as I watched, and
Speaker 2: then in high school it was the towers, because the
Speaker 2: towers I remember that turn it on and we saw
Speaker 2: the plane go, and I mean it was just like
Speaker 2: woof ty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think they would look that now. I
Speaker 1: don't think.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: There's a lot that they wouldn't do now. I think
Speaker 3: what was wild to me is just the lack of remorse.
Speaker 3: It felt like because there was a celebration when he
Speaker 3: was found not guilty, and I thought, yet, still the
Speaker 3: wife of your children is dead.
Speaker 2: So that was the wildest part for me. I guess
Speaker 2: I didn't.
Speaker 3: I mean just because we were young, I probably didn't know,
Speaker 3: and because social media wasn't so wild, so we probably
Speaker 3: weren't getting everything as fast. But I was blown away
Speaker 3: that were like celebrating his freedom. Fine, but we're celebrating
Speaker 3: freedom from you still have a dead ex wife, the
Speaker 3: mother of your children, and your children were in the
Speaker 3: house when it happened.
Speaker 2: Wild.
Speaker 1: Yeah, nothing's the same no matter what.
Speaker 3: And because of you, I started out last, Oh oh
Speaker 3: are and I didn't think I was gonna like it.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 3: One thing that is hard is if you fall asleep,
Speaker 3: it's very hard to figure out what your because it
Speaker 3: all looks the same. It's wild out there, right, you
Speaker 3: haven't watched it, no, but I feel like those are
Speaker 3: all kind of the same, right, trying to survive. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I was mind a survivor. I want to watch season two.
Speaker 3: I didn't watch season one. In season two, Oh, there's
Speaker 3: two seasons. What season am I watching?
Speaker 2: I don't know. Probably watch the Little Ladies Jill in
Speaker 2: your cast, which who she paired with? The blonde Jill
Speaker 2: No from Kentucky. Jill. Oh, I think we had different
Speaker 2: on different I need to get in season one season one.
Speaker 1: Can we just send like a group chat or what
Speaker 1: we're going to be watching so I can get on that.
Speaker 2: I would like to bring this up in the host
Speaker 2: chat discussion because we are snuggled inside of host chat
Speaker 2: for anyone that's longer. We are still a host chat.
Speaker 2: But it's about something. Okay, it was something that just
Speaker 2: I had a you know, I'm a host chat idea,
Speaker 2: and I was watching this show last night. So what
Speaker 2: were we watching? We were watching, Oh, we were watching
Speaker 2: Paradise because there was a new episode, so we watched
Speaker 2: that and then Alan was tired, so I was stayed
Speaker 2: on Hulu, and I was like, oh, there's a new
Speaker 2: Kardashians out, so I'm going to watch Kardashians. So I
Speaker 2: watched the new episode and it was there was just
Speaker 2: the one that you could watch, and so I watched it,
Speaker 2: and I love Chloe, right, and so I just I'm
Speaker 2: always like, you know, I love just watching her storylines.
Speaker 2: And it was a very big Chloe storyline because Lamar
Speaker 2: came on the show and so it was part one
Speaker 2: of her talking to Lamar and obviously, you know, they
Speaker 2: were married for almost seven years and you know, he
Speaker 2: ended up. I believe it was overdosing at a brothel
Speaker 2: and then she took care of him and then they
Speaker 2: got divorced. And Malika had said something and Milika, right, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: she had said something. She's like, you know, the love.
Speaker 2: She's like, when you love someone, the love will always
Speaker 2: be there and you'll always love that person. And they
Speaker 2: just got me thinking, I'm like about that because you
Speaker 2: know how when you break up with someone they say
Speaker 2: like I'll always love you, or there's even songs about it. Right,
Speaker 2: But then I just kind of really started thinking about
Speaker 2: it because I'm like, I have zero love for my
Speaker 2: ex Mike if you're listening to them. But I don't
Speaker 2: like I know this like being in love and like love,
Speaker 2: but I don't love. I don't. I don't have any
Speaker 2: love for him, like I don't. When she's like, you'll
Speaker 2: always love that person, I don't love that person, I would.
Speaker 1: Agree, I I don't know that I I how do
Speaker 1: I say this without I don't feel like you don't
Speaker 1: what do you mean? I feel like if something were
Speaker 1: to happen to Mike tomorrow, you would be there and
Speaker 1: you would help him out. That doesn't mean as a
Speaker 1: form of love. That is a form of love.
Speaker 2: Right now, No, because he's also part of my wine
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: So but I think deep down there is still but
Speaker 1: that that's I don't think that's love though, like how
Speaker 1: they're saying, sure you, but I think that there's I
Speaker 1: see both sides to that, like.
Speaker 2: You'll always love this person, and I do see what
Speaker 2: you're saying. I will, I will always be there to help.
Speaker 2: But that's not out of love, that's just out of
Speaker 2: like I guess when I hear her say, you know,
Speaker 2: I can see how you're taking it right, So I
Speaker 2: do get that piece of it, But I guess I
Speaker 2: hear it as like you'll always love that person, and
Speaker 2: I just disagree with that piece of it.
Speaker 3: This is interesting, as I would consider myself the care
Speaker 3: bear of the group. I would agree with you, Kramer,
Speaker 3: interesting because I had an ex husband and I do
Speaker 3: not love him, right, I don't feel And maybe it
Speaker 3: is because now we have such a huge love that
Speaker 3: we know the difference. But to your to go to
Speaker 3: what Catherine saying though, So what she's saying like, if
Speaker 3: he needed you, you're obviously gonna be there.
Speaker 2: No, but I don't have to because I don't have
Speaker 2: kids with him. Right. But let's say you impressed and
Speaker 2: got divorced. Let's just say, okay, put yourself in that situation.
Speaker 2: Pet is something dirty and you guys got divorced, right,
Speaker 2: and that person that you always thought you were going
Speaker 2: to love, where does that look like? And if he
Speaker 2: needs you, you're going to obviously help him. But to me,
Speaker 2: that's still not I know it's not. I do it
Speaker 2: because I'm just the mom and I I care, but
Speaker 2: I don't. It's not it's not a like I mean,
Speaker 2: I see what you're saying. I'm struggling on that piece.
Speaker 1: I see both sides to me, it feels almost like
Speaker 1: there's still a hate spot in there, a little bit
Speaker 1: not hate.
Speaker 2: But like I have a massive resentment right but to
Speaker 2: I don't hate anyone, Yeah, resentment.
Speaker 1: Hat but there's I think that there's so much of
Speaker 1: that that's still kind of a form of love in
Speaker 1: a way. And I can think about people close to
Speaker 1: me that I could say I don't really feel like
Speaker 1: I have that much love for them, but I think
Speaker 1: if I really went down deep into it, there is
Speaker 1: still a form of love that.
Speaker 2: I mean, I like, I like the flip side of that,
Speaker 2: you know, I don't dislike, do you still have love
Speaker 2: for the person that you loved before? I think so,
Speaker 2: Like I have love for like my ex high school boyfriend.
Speaker 2: I was just like you guys say, I have a
Speaker 2: box in my thing and I was trying to clean
Speaker 2: up my wind down stuff and I'm reading these notes
Speaker 2: and he's like, I will always love you, which made
Speaker 2: me like, you know, I'm just starting just to read
Speaker 2: them because I'm like these first made me laugh, But
Speaker 2: then I was also like, you know, I'm like, where
Speaker 2: does that love go? You know, I'm like, because I'm like,
Speaker 2: I have love for my heart always for him because
Speaker 2: he was my first and like I and now he
Speaker 2: has a beautiful family and I love that for him,
Speaker 2: and I love you know, his I love his wife,
Speaker 2: and I love you know, will always have I will
Speaker 2: always have love for him. But I don't feel the
Speaker 2: same for Mike. Does it have to do maybe an
Speaker 2: equal parts hurt.
Speaker 3: I feel like there's just still anger because she said
Speaker 3: like heavy, I mean, listen, I also that way about
Speaker 3: my house.
Speaker 2: How can you love someone that hurt you so bad?
Speaker 1: Well, I think that's why it hurts so bad.
Speaker 2: But then how is their love to me if.
Speaker 1: You still have some sort of resentment or an anger
Speaker 1: or even a feeling towards that person. In my mind,
Speaker 1: that's rooted in love?
Speaker 2: No, no, no, that is rude. I don't I don't
Speaker 2: like him.
Speaker 1: I feel like he wouldn't care if you did in
Speaker 1: some way and not in an in love at all.
Speaker 2: The things that he did to me, that some things
Speaker 2: I can't disclose. I can't find love for a person
Speaker 2: like that.
Speaker 1: And I hear, I mean, I agree, I'm not disagreeing
Speaker 1: with that.
Speaker 2: I just but I will always help if needed, and
Speaker 2: whatever I think. Caring about him maybe and not loving him.
Speaker 2: It's it's just the thing that we would do like
Speaker 2: I would always be I always be there, you know,
Speaker 2: out of respect that he's the father of my children,
Speaker 2: of two of my children, you know.
Speaker 1: And maybe you truly don't and I'm not just but
Speaker 1: I do see your side, you.
Speaker 2: Know what I mean, Because when you said that, I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: I don't feel that way, you know, but I but
Speaker 2: I also love your point of view on it, because
Speaker 2: of course I would be there for them if you
Speaker 2: needed me. Is that love? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a you know, a good that's a really
Speaker 1: good question.
Speaker 2: It's something that I can. I can. But I also
Speaker 2: then go to the flip side of well, how I
Speaker 2: know that they they're are in their own stuff or whatever,
Speaker 2: and that's why they do X, Y and Z. But
Speaker 2: can you still care without the love? Because that's where
Speaker 2: I think I'd be at.
Speaker 1: Can you still care without the love? And probably? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I think I have compassion, yeah, but I don't have love.
Speaker 3: That's yeah, empathy, Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I don't want anything bad to happen to
Speaker 2: that partly the same I actually I like his I
Speaker 2: would like to be like we are friends, but there
Speaker 2: is no love. Either's care and friendship but no love.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that your friends.
Speaker 2: Of course, I love my friends, do Ukramer tell.
Speaker 1: Us, well, the other side of it, but friends.
Speaker 2: But no, we would not be friends if we didn't
Speaker 2: share kids.
Speaker 1: Well, that's true. That that I can agree with. You
Speaker 1: definitely would not.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so that is a forced friendship. Yeah, for sure,
Speaker 2: like you don't have a choice. I expect incline to
Speaker 2: him absolutely because of the kids. But if not, if
Speaker 2: we didn't have kids, I would never look Oh, I
Speaker 2: would never look in his direction ever.
Speaker 1: Again, I definitely believe that that's a good topic though.
Speaker 2: I like that. I would like to say that it's
Speaker 2: I have care and compassionate without the love, and I
Speaker 2: don't think that the love will always be there. But
Speaker 2: I can definitely see your point of view on your side,
Speaker 2: and I appreciate you bringing.
Speaker 1: That up, especially me because I'm usually the heartless one.
Speaker 3: Meanwhile, the care beer is like maybe the caremera is
Speaker 3: on her beard. Next note, I just really moved him along, didn't.
Speaker 2: Before we move into wine about it? Is there anything
Speaker 2: you guys want to say? I have life updates? No, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: moving on to next I love good narration. Guys, I
Speaker 2: am struggling. Oh no, I feel like this is all
Speaker 2: like my stuff. Sometimes it was all me.
Speaker 1: So let's go.
Speaker 3: I forget though that we are recording and I really
Speaker 3: mean that, Like I said that to Janna when I
Speaker 3: got here.
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, Like.
Speaker 1: I just really got me. I was like, oh man,
Speaker 1: did I really say all that. Well, we do talk
Speaker 1: like this and we this is us.
Speaker 2: This is us.
Speaker 3: I had a moment where I was like, I got
Speaker 3: to read some time. Put it in the back of
Speaker 3: my mind.
Speaker 1: I know that's okay, tell us time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is so period. Cry come over there, and
Speaker 2: I feel like it's remember when I did that first
Speaker 2: episode post baby and I was doing like that was
Speaker 2: the worst decision of my life because I was crying
Speaker 2: over a butcher Box ad. But this one is like, yes,
Speaker 2: it's period. But I also, I had therapy yesterday and
Speaker 2: I was just telling her. I was like, I can't
Speaker 2: get my mind to like shut off, and there's so
Speaker 2: many things that are you know, sometimes when you're you
Speaker 2: have so much kind of like circulating in your brain
Speaker 2: that your brain almost hurts, you know, And then Alan's like, hey,
Speaker 2: you just you know, are you good? Like you just
Speaker 2: seem a little distant. I'm like, yeah, I was like,
Speaker 2: I just I couldn't filter through all the different kind
Speaker 2: of thoughts running through my brain. And so we sat
Speaker 2: in therapy and we we went through She's like, all right, well,
Speaker 2: let's do it now, you know, and so I just
Speaker 2: kind of started going down the list and it's it
Speaker 2: all led to the feeling of just alone. Right, So
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm alone in dealing with a lot
Speaker 2: of these issues, and so you know, the first part
Speaker 2: of it was and it's really around the kids too,
Speaker 2: and so this I feel like, I'm just like I
Speaker 2: need to just like wrap this in a bow. But
Speaker 2: like first and foremost, and this is why I called
Speaker 2: you yesterday because so we are so behind on vaccinations,
Speaker 2: like so so so behind, and we've only done too
Speaker 2: and when I've been kind of delaying this appointment because
Speaker 2: I knew the doctor was going to make me do
Speaker 2: a vaccination or we would have to leave the clinic
Speaker 2: essentially since we're so behind. And the last time that
Speaker 2: we went in, I essentially got blamed for him having
Speaker 2: ear infections because I didn't vaccinate him, and I didn't
Speaker 2: like how that felt because when you google it, it
Speaker 2: says that you know, children who are not vaccinated it
Speaker 2: could cause more ear infections. But for some reason, there
Speaker 2: was something in me that just was like I was,
Speaker 2: I got turned off by that comment, and so it
Speaker 2: didn't make me want to go back to that office
Speaker 2: because I'm like, you just blamed me for my child
Speaker 2: having an ear infection. So like I didn't like that.
Speaker 2: I don't even know why I'm crying, but like it
Speaker 2: just made me feel like like a bad mom or something,
Speaker 2: and so I was like, Okay, So that just like
Speaker 2: kind of like sat with me, and I've been delaying
Speaker 2: the appointment, and I get so overwhelmed because I'm like,
Speaker 2: I know he needs so many vaccinations, but I'm also
Speaker 2: like there's I don't know if I trust them all,
Speaker 2: and like there's so many and it's like I just
Speaker 2: know so many stories. I'm I'm a firm believer that
Speaker 2: Jolie's some of Jolie's issues were caused by a potential
Speaker 2: side effect from vaccines when she was a baby. So
Speaker 2: I've just been so I delayed with Jays and with Roman.
Speaker 2: I'm just like there's so much out there that I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't know what is, what I should give, what
Speaker 2: I shouldn't give, And then it just makes me feel
Speaker 2: like frickin helpless because I'm like, we have a neighbor
Speaker 2: that has a highly autistic son, and I'm not saying
Speaker 2: I'm not saying vaccinations cause autism. I'm not. I'm like,
Speaker 2: but I also would like more science or we'd still
Speaker 2: be giving our kids cocaine and whatever. I saw this
Speaker 2: one thing, like what was it? And you know, yeah,
Speaker 2: or in cough syrup. So I'm like, I believe in
Speaker 2: signs evolving and us you know, looking into that more.
Speaker 2: And so it was just like having to like do
Speaker 2: that call and then like not you know, not knowing
Speaker 2: what the right move on that is, and like just
Speaker 2: kind of feeling alone in that. And I know I
Speaker 2: can bring Allan in on that, but he's also very
Speaker 2: much like whatever I think, right, So though he has
Speaker 2: he doesn't think that Romans should be getting all of
Speaker 2: those you know, he's so he's definitely there. So I
Speaker 2: know I'm not alone, but the feeling makes me feel alone.
Speaker 2: And then, like Julie got her official diagnosis of dyslexia,
Speaker 2: Mike didn't show up to the meeting so I'm in
Speaker 2: the meeting with all the teachers, the vice principal, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, again I feel alone. And I'm like, which is.
Speaker 3: A core belief that you and I have talked about
Speaker 3: a lot, that we can't trust people, that they won't
Speaker 3: show up for us, that we have to do it alone. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And so I was like, so so these things hissed,
Speaker 3: Like I hearing all this stuff about my like where
Speaker 3: is my other king person? And I knew like I
Speaker 3: got I got a home and I just cried and
Speaker 3: I was like what, Like he didn't show up and
Speaker 3: I'm like he must have forgot, like, and so I
Speaker 3: was so upset because it's like all this information and
Speaker 3: then again I somehow feel at fault, which I know
Speaker 3: is not my fault, but like all this stuff has
Speaker 3: been like thrown be guys, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I'm like crying. No, I don't want to be sorry.
Speaker 3: I feel like everything you're saying is so valid, and
Speaker 3: I promise you there's people listening that feel every single
Speaker 3: bit of this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so like and he's like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I would have come and I'm like, I know you.
Speaker 2: So again I know I'm not alone in it but
Speaker 2: like we like take on so much of it, like
Speaker 2: to ourselves that and then on top of it work
Speaker 2: and just life and it's just so it's all these things.
Speaker 2: I'm like, what do I do here? And Okay, so
Speaker 2: now she's just like, so okay, we gotta get ip
Speaker 2: and then she'll do you have to do this all
Speaker 2: a bat and all these things. I'm like, I just
Speaker 2: feel alone. I know I'm not alone. I know there's people,
Speaker 2: I know, I have you guys, all that stuff, but
Speaker 2: it's just that is where my season is this month,
Speaker 2: and it's hard. So that's it. That's my white about it.
Speaker 3: If I guys, we just keep keep tabling my boobs
Speaker 3: for a whine about it.
Speaker 2: It's gonna wait for the time.
Speaker 3: But I feel like I'm one week. This was literally
Speaker 3: me like maybe a week and a half ago. Do
Speaker 3: you remember me saying to you I just wanted to
Speaker 3: be alone in my house?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And it was, which is you know, contradictory because I'm like.
Speaker 2: I feel that's what Aby said. She goes, what do
Speaker 2: you need it right now? I was like, I think
Speaker 2: I just really want to be alone, which is interesting
Speaker 2: because I'm alone. I know that. I'm like Alan's what
Speaker 2: do you do? I'm like, I need to be alone
Speaker 2: because I have to just process all of this sort
Speaker 2: it by myself for a minute.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well it does feel noisy, and I think, guys,
Speaker 3: we all know this. Everybody listening knows this too. It's
Speaker 3: like social media information news networks. Can you trust this
Speaker 3: news network? Is this network coming from this place point
Speaker 3: of view? Like there's just no raw educational information is
Speaker 3: how it feels to me sometimes. So then I feel
Speaker 3: overwhelmed because I feel like I want to make an
Speaker 3: educated choice and I want to learn, But where do
Speaker 3: I learn? And is that person teaching me through a
Speaker 3: lens of this with their own agenda?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: So that gets wild. And I also feel like the
Speaker 3: world is noisy right now. I mean the year started crazy.
Speaker 3: We all know and love people in Los Angeles, right
Speaker 3: We wrapped up a year with a hurricane getting flooding
Speaker 3: places where we know and love people, so like it's
Speaker 3: a hard time for impaths anyways, and then you had
Speaker 3: the mom layer in the vaccination layer, and the baby layer,
Speaker 3: an ex husband layer, and it does feel overwhelming, Like
Speaker 3: I feel like everything you're saying, I'm like, i'd cry too.
Speaker 3: Actually was just ten days ago, crying about it.
Speaker 2: I called you. I said, I feel overwhelmed.
Speaker 1: It is very common for moms to feel like all
Speaker 1: the decisions fall on them and that they're alone. Whether
Speaker 1: you have the most involved husband in the world or not,
Speaker 1: you have that added layer of an ex husband not
Speaker 1: showing up, and then a husband she's like, well, I
Speaker 1: would be there, but you really probably just want her
Speaker 1: to be there, you know, And so that's a whole
Speaker 1: other level. But I feel like everyone listening, most moms
Speaker 1: can just they feel that, like, my decisions might not
Speaker 1: be as big as yours right now, but like we're
Speaker 1: ultimately making most of the decisions for our children, and
Speaker 1: that is overwhelming. I mean that is no matter what
Speaker 1: the decision is, that's overwhelming. So I'm sorry that you're
Speaker 1: having to deal with some of these really bigger decisions
Speaker 1: that are heavy. Like yeah, like the dads will help
Speaker 1: make those decisions, but are they educating themselves? Where do
Speaker 1: we get educated?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 1: I mean it's overwhelming, and I don't have any answers
Speaker 1: for that, because that's just a hard I mean, we
Speaker 1: just dealt with it with a vaccine, you know. I
Speaker 1: thought we were kind of out of that. But now
Speaker 1: when the kids are older, now there's a vaccine that
Speaker 1: we have to make a decision about that I've been
Speaker 1: putting off for years, you know, making a decision. But
Speaker 1: those things are hard because then you also get you know,
Speaker 1: you can get ripped apart for your feelings on those things,
Speaker 1: and that's hard too. To me. That's an added layer.
Speaker 2: I also encourage you to find a different pediatrician. I've tried.
Speaker 2: I'm on every weight list. I'm literally called three and
Speaker 2: I'm on three weight lists. And again it's not I'm
Speaker 2: not against it. I understanding there are outbreaks, there are
Speaker 2: things that need to be for other people. I'm I
Speaker 2: just there's just so many and what is needed right now?
Speaker 2: And how do we space this out where I just
Speaker 2: need to understand it more?
Speaker 1: You need someone who can walk you through this is
Speaker 1: what we have left? Yeah, and how are we going
Speaker 1: to knowing that this, this and this are important to you?
Speaker 1: Knowing you're not sure how you feel about this one,
Speaker 1: here's a plan.
Speaker 2: Well, And so I called the doctor because this is
Speaker 2: hard because I've been with this one doctor since Jolly
Speaker 2: was a baby. And so I called and I'm you
Speaker 2: know this is after therapy, and so I'm obviously upset
Speaker 2: and crying, and you know, she's basically like, if you don't,
Speaker 2: you're going to have to leave the office because you're
Speaker 2: at the point now where you know, it's been this
Speaker 2: long and he needs so many And I was like, well,
Speaker 2: I can't see her again, and I'm because I just
Speaker 2: feel like just the pressure and like throat closing and
Speaker 2: all that. So can you find me a d friend
Speaker 2: doctor in the office that can just have a little
Speaker 2: bit more compassion around me having a difficult time? When's
Speaker 2: the appointment next week? And I'm gonna be alone in
Speaker 2: the appointment because he's not gonna be you know, he's
Speaker 2: not gonna be here. So it's just like it's there's
Speaker 2: just and I don't know what I'm but I'm gonna
Speaker 2: have to do something or pick one, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, like a Rouletta vaccines, Which one is that safe.
Speaker 1: Thing to give? Yeah, you need to ask, And I
Speaker 1: will say, let's talk offline about who you're seeing. We
Speaker 1: see two different people in the practice, and I definitely
Speaker 1: have felt that way more about her than the other.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So I'd also like to go to the appointment. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I would like to honestly, like, I would like to
Speaker 2: not be alone in that one.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. It's just like there's just so
Speaker 2: much stuff, like you want to make the right decisions,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Like, and again I'm not
Speaker 2: saying certain things one hundred percent caused certain things with Jolie,
Speaker 2: but there are many things that if you go back
Speaker 2: to she didn't crawl, she didn't talk until she was
Speaker 2: almost like four, you know, and a lot of those
Speaker 2: and then now she's dyslexi. Like when you look into
Speaker 2: these things, they could have been from her fifteen month vaccination,
Speaker 2: So it could have maybe who knows, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It might min not have.
Speaker 3: An important piece though, is that someone is just willing
Speaker 3: to hear you out.
Speaker 2: It definitely need to be so definite.
Speaker 3: I think I have been on this like little diary
Speaker 3: journey of things I'm passionate about. One of the things
Speaker 3: I am is safety of children, but also safety of mothers.
Speaker 3: And I feel like safety of mothers I'm really passionate
Speaker 3: about the most because it is a very hard and
Speaker 3: very layered and very beautiful job. But anybody pushing us,
Speaker 3: I have no tolerance for But my whole point is
Speaker 3: if that doctor was st look at you and say,
Speaker 3: I can tell this is a lot for you, and
Speaker 3: I just want to lay out this is our options.
Speaker 3: This is just a different conversation. And listen, I'm not
Speaker 3: even saying that's a bad pediatrician, just not the one
Speaker 3: for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, Like I.
Speaker 3: Go, there's a practice I'm involved in on the nonprofit side,
Speaker 3: and I love these women, and there is one woman
Speaker 3: that I'm like, you are a tremendous, brilliant doctor, but
Speaker 3: I don't want to be your patient because you're tough
Speaker 3: love and I don't need that.
Speaker 1: And to know, not just other side, but to note
Speaker 1: there are a lot of offices are that way, like
Speaker 1: if you don't vaccinate or if you're not on the schedule,
Speaker 1: then you cannot be at the practice. And it's hard
Speaker 1: and overwhelming to find the ones that will work with
Speaker 1: you a little bit more. And you do not go
Speaker 1: by that. So I feel for that piece of it
Speaker 1: because it's hard, it's overwhelming. It's like, I mean, I've
Speaker 1: wanted to leave before, but I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 1: where to go or what to do, and it's it's hard.
Speaker 1: But I think at the end of the day, if
Speaker 1: everyone could have grace for moms because we're all just
Speaker 1: trying to do what we feel like is best for
Speaker 1: our children. Yeah, and these are disagreements I've gotten in
Speaker 1: on so many different things, but at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, you can assume that every mother's trying to
Speaker 1: do what's best for their own kid, and that might
Speaker 1: look different for everybody.
Speaker 2: And there's just a lot on the mother's plate, like
Speaker 2: doing so much and then adding in on the flip
Speaker 2: side of like work and then four months two Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know. Anyways, that's my wind about it. Ladies, Are
Speaker 2: we moving on hot topic?
Speaker 1: Yes, let's move on.
Speaker 2: Okay. We had Whitney from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on.
Speaker 2: We also had Macy on. Did you guys see that
Speaker 2: Jen Affleck is pregnant with her third Yes. I got
Speaker 2: to say I was shocked. I was happy, but shocked,
Speaker 2: like I thought they were getting divorced. That's from the
Speaker 2: news that I because I've kind of stayed away from,
Speaker 2: you know, which obviously I would hate to see a
Speaker 2: divorce announcement, you know, but I was I was kind
Speaker 2: of shocked to see it, but happy, but shocked me.
Speaker 2: It doesn't. There's a lot of few clients happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I had heard at some point
Speaker 1: or something that because didn't they move away, one of
Speaker 1: them told us that they like moved away to like
Speaker 1: work on things or whatever. So that doesn't surprise me
Speaker 1: having said that, some gracious assumption here. I feel like
Speaker 1: there is a lot that all of the girls have
Speaker 1: said that their stories were not fully shown on season one,
Speaker 1: so I want to hold space for all of them
Speaker 1: and their chance to tell more of their story. I
Speaker 1: don't think that excuses any behaviors. I don't think that
Speaker 1: that you know, yeah, I did too. I did too. However,
Speaker 1: I would like to make my not not judgment. I
Speaker 1: want to see more of their story. I want to
Speaker 1: see they keep alluding to there's a lot more to
Speaker 1: their story. There's this. I would like to see that
Speaker 1: first and see kind of you know what that is about. Again,
Speaker 1: it was hard to watch. There was a lot there,
Speaker 1: But I'd be curious to see what they show in
Speaker 1: season two to as she kind of puts, it, will
Speaker 1: kind of explain some of the behaviors.
Speaker 3: But reality TV is always hard for me, I think
Speaker 3: because I did only one show, but I just saw
Speaker 3: so much. It's like they can literally do anything they
Speaker 3: want to your character, even when you think you're being
Speaker 3: crisp and clean and clear. If they have an agenda
Speaker 3: and a storyline for your character, they can pretty much
Speaker 3: accomplish it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially if you're scary to think that it's scary,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not always you know, what we're saying
Speaker 1: is not. Maybe, I don't know. It's hard to believe
Speaker 1: that he didn't have those controlling behaviors when but also yes,
Speaker 1: it can be manipulated and add to us a certain.
Speaker 3: Way too, Yeah, because if you compile all those two
Speaker 3: into one, it's like whoa why No exactly?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Great? And I really felt for her on that
Speaker 1: show though.
Speaker 2: I love her so I wanted to just be like
Speaker 2: it almost was like a mirror too. I wanted to
Speaker 2: really don't have a voice, you know.
Speaker 1: But then that overwhelming feeling of all your friends loving
Speaker 1: you but wanting you, you know, like wake up? Do
Speaker 1: you know you need to?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: And her just breaking down. It was hard to watch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, from experience for.
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm happy for them though if they're happy, and yeah,
Speaker 1: baby's always a blessing.
Speaker 2: Same well, Catherine. This news is for you, honey. Kevin
Speaker 2: Costner wants to meet someone related news. How's your marriage?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's awful. I feel like he'd be fine with it.
Speaker 2: Nick or Kevin.
Speaker 1: No, it was kind of Costner. He'd be like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm getting.
Speaker 2: Could you date a seventy year old thirty years older
Speaker 2: than you? Not a no, right, Kevin Costner?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like in general, just like the seventy year
Speaker 1: old down the street. Probably not right right, But I
Speaker 1: can promise you if Kevin Costner asked me on a date,
Speaker 1: I'd be there.
Speaker 2: Why do I love this?
Speaker 3: Like my face hurts from smiling because I just don't
Speaker 3: get to see the side of you that often.
Speaker 1: I know, and I don't have many like at all.
Speaker 1: Like before, I don't know. I couldn't have even come
Speaker 1: up with someone that I'm like, oh, yeah, he's my
Speaker 1: I love him.
Speaker 2: What is it about Kevin that just gets you? Is
Speaker 2: it the Body of the Guard read Cheeks.
Speaker 1: Bodyguard's my favorite movie?
Speaker 2: And like, oh, you know what I love that movie
Speaker 2: is because you can tell he loves her, like he
Speaker 2: cared so deeply. I remember watching the funeral and you
Speaker 2: know his speech that he loved her and he will
Speaker 2: always love her. He doesn't matter. I mean this is
Speaker 2: a full circle moment.
Speaker 1: Where our life. But like he really loved her, but
Speaker 1: also like his position of power and like I just
Speaker 1: I absolutely loved that movie and in my life, in
Speaker 1: my mind, that's kind of Coosner. It probably isn't you know,
Speaker 1: Like he's probably more Yellowstone than he is.
Speaker 2: Well, let's still position a power ish that it is?
Speaker 1: Yes, which would either one, just so we're clear, Yellowstone
Speaker 1: or Bodyguard?
Speaker 2: Would you be okay if Nick had this love affair
Speaker 2: for someone?
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Yeah, absolutely a seventy year old woman is the actress?
Speaker 2: Can come on?
Speaker 3: Is that only because we know Kevin Costner is looking
Speaker 3: for someone to date that you're now okay with Nick
Speaker 3: feeling this way?
Speaker 1: If there was someone like that and like he said
Speaker 1: these things that wouldn't bother me in the app solute least, okay,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, if you can score that, babe.
Speaker 3: Like on way, Kramer, do you have like I hate
Speaker 3: this term. I freaking hate it.
Speaker 2: I just do.
Speaker 3: And I don't even like the word hate. And I'm
Speaker 3: using that. The whole past thing just wears me out.
Speaker 3: But do you ann but.
Speaker 2: Yeah for me, No, not anymore unless did want to
Speaker 2: dress up, you know, only if he wants to dress
Speaker 2: up into his his Uh what are those the gosh?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, how could I forget that? No, No,
Speaker 2: it's it's his. Oh my gosh, it's what biker people wear. God,
Speaker 2: people are probably screaming this while they're listening.
Speaker 1: I can't think.
Speaker 2: Try why are something his his? Someone come into the
Speaker 2: producer chat Google what is it called? It's like the
Speaker 2: what Jax puts on. It's like his his Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Anyways, he's wearing that.
Speaker 2: So who Charlie or Kevin?
Speaker 3: You guys the only one putting Alan back in the
Speaker 3: mix over keep talking?
Speaker 2: But no, there's no like I love a character, but
Speaker 2: I don't have someone that's like, oh I I would
Speaker 2: want to go on a date with him or whatever. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know. I literally married like my like Hollywood
Speaker 2: dude dream and okay, he does look Hollywood.
Speaker 1: He does for dapper.
Speaker 2: He's dapper. Yeah, he wears a card again, I mean
Speaker 2: that classifies him. And he's cut the cut. It's called
Speaker 2: the cut. It's their coat. Never there, but yeah, it's
Speaker 2: called their cut. For your own loop.
Speaker 1: Yeah what about you.
Speaker 2: I don't have one.
Speaker 1: I used to not y'all. I don't know, but.
Speaker 2: He wants to meet someone after divorce, and I love that.
Speaker 2: Back to the headline, is I just I would he
Speaker 2: needs his own show. I'm trying to think who would? Who?
Speaker 2: We can? So I did text Pam. I sent the
Speaker 2: link to her when I saw this in the run,
Speaker 2: and she's like, hook it up. Have your publicist call.
Speaker 3: I have a flying comment about that, because I believe
Speaker 3: that Pam was not interested in oldermen.
Speaker 2: Truth again, Kevin Costner.
Speaker 1: Exactly, I'm not interested in olderman I'm married. But come on, guys,
Speaker 1: we're just dreaming here going to point out that's.
Speaker 2: Specifically great about Nick. I just feel like, if you listened.
Speaker 1: Baggy not be offended at least the ever likelihood of
Speaker 1: me ever going on a date with Kevin Costner.
Speaker 2: Did you see though, that his his ex wife has
Speaker 2: moved on?
Speaker 1: Yes, I saw that, but also she's engaged.
Speaker 2: Yeah. She became a longtime friend and neighbor of the
Speaker 2: former couple, which I just think the neighbors. You just
Speaker 2: can't get too close to neighbors and friends. I just sugar,
Speaker 2: did she scandal?
Speaker 1: Wait though? Which I was kind of really wondering what
Speaker 1: about the whole whatever it was, the Jennifer the Jay thing. Oh,
Speaker 1: I don't know, they were like together somewhere.
Speaker 2: Jennifer Aniston too. I heard a poor Jennifer Anderson has
Speaker 2: been hooked up to there. Like I'm just like, just like,
Speaker 2: can she just be left alone? I love this One's
Speaker 2: interesting this next headline, and I immediately thought of you
Speaker 2: Kitty cat. Uh. Nick and Vanessa Lahay explain they schedule
Speaker 2: a weekly sex day hump Day, hump dayDay.
Speaker 1: It's on hump Day on Wednesday.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Uh, we've talked about this obviously on the podcast before,
Speaker 2: where you and Nick would schedule. Do I still schedule now?
Speaker 2: You lost?
Speaker 1: I didn't love it. You hated that, But I think
Speaker 1: for who I mean, I think a lot of people do,
Speaker 1: and I think that like a lot of people recommend it.
Speaker 1: I think it's you know, good for some people.
Speaker 2: For me, it doesn't work because I feel like it
Speaker 2: puts too much pressure. Yeah, that's why I wouldn't like it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, that's why I don't even like doing
Speaker 2: it at night sometimes because it feels if we haven't
Speaker 2: done it in a while or that week. Then the
Speaker 2: pressure it's like, Okay, he's going to want to do
Speaker 2: it tonight, and then I have pressure, and then it
Speaker 2: takes away from the sexiness and the yeah, the whole
Speaker 2: vibe behind it. So sometimes I just liked to spruce
Speaker 2: in a little afternoon one, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: We'll make sure before we come in the door. I'm
Speaker 2: just saying, I don't know. For me, that just is
Speaker 2: like pressure. But I also get it. There's they're so busy,
Speaker 2: they have so much going on that if you don't
Speaker 2: then it could be weeks and then you then you
Speaker 2: lose that connection. I think that connection is important.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've heard of a lot of I feel like
Speaker 1: I just heard someone else. I can't think another celebrity
Speaker 1: saying recently that they did and it worked great for them,
Speaker 1: But I can't remember who it was at this point.
Speaker 1: So I could definitely see what those kinds of schedules too,
Speaker 1: how it could be beneficial.
Speaker 3: I actually was going to bring this to the chat
Speaker 3: today and then it came into the group chat and
Speaker 3: I was like, well that was perfect because I was
Speaker 3: I do have a friend who schedules and they rotate,
Speaker 3: so not only they schedule but then it is husband's.
Speaker 2: Job too, don't tie grammar.
Speaker 3: It's husband's job to initiate and set the tone, I guess,
Speaker 3: and then the next week it's her job to do that.
Speaker 3: That's cool, Yeah, very business appropriate.
Speaker 2: That's cool school. That sounds like a good plan.
Speaker 3: And then it came into a different group chat no
Speaker 3: one on this panel the other day of like, how
Speaker 3: often are married couples having sex? So I was going
Speaker 3: to bring it to the table, how often do you
Speaker 3: have sex?
Speaker 2: Kaby?
Speaker 1: I won't talk about this with on.
Speaker 2: I get blushy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I got teenagers at home. I'm gonna watch
Speaker 1: what I say about We had a really in depth
Speaker 1: conversation the other day, me and my teenagers too, So
Speaker 1: I don't I have decided to keep those things.
Speaker 2: That feels fair. Yeah, often we're often like how many
Speaker 2: times a week?
Speaker 1: Guys?
Speaker 2: I get so blushy? Why do I get so blushy?
Speaker 3: And you brought this I know, I just wondered because
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, and there has been times where it
Speaker 3: isn't like this. But then I think over the last
Speaker 3: couple of years, we've kind of like really gotten honest
Speaker 3: about how much it's important to us both of us.
Speaker 3: So I think, now we're just really busy. There you go,
Speaker 3: but he's not like every day if he's home, Yeah,
Speaker 3: pretty much.
Speaker 2: There you go. It's a healthy sex life. Well it's
Speaker 2: not because's gone to do it for ninety years if
Speaker 2: you care the one on that math problem.
Speaker 1: And things start to get a little scarce.
Speaker 3: I don't know, I feel like, yeah, I just wondered
Speaker 3: because I I don't know. I also have a couple
Speaker 3: friends that have gone like weeks, and I can feel
Speaker 3: the detachment just with Preston and I pretty quickly if
Speaker 3: it's been too long. Like we're just good at it.
Speaker 3: We're good at each other. We just like it just
Speaker 3: is like it's cozy and it's just good. Like I
Speaker 3: just you know, just how do.
Speaker 2: You feel more mindful about it now? Because that like
Speaker 2: what do you have talked about it previously?
Speaker 1: Like yeah, well and like talking about it, is that true?
Speaker 2: Well because it wasn't as much or whatever? And so
Speaker 2: do you feel the pressure not to be, not to
Speaker 2: do or to not do like the pressure?
Speaker 1: I mean, I just here's my thing. I am. I
Speaker 1: probably should have said this offline after having conversations with
Speaker 1: my son and daughter whose teenagers watch some of our
Speaker 1: stuff and some people listen that is embarrassing to them
Speaker 1: for me to talk about it. Okay, So I'm just
Speaker 1: refraining from talking about their parents' sex life because they
Speaker 1: have kids that will go on and listen and take
Speaker 1: stuff back to them. So interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got little spies.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like. So I have told them that I
Speaker 1: will know everything we talk about stuff, and we had
Speaker 1: like a very in depth conversation the other day. But
Speaker 1: it gets a little bit for them, like, hey, mom,
Speaker 1: like if you know, like I told Emmy that I
Speaker 1: said on here that she had started her period. That
Speaker 1: didn't bother her, you know. So I'm trying to be
Speaker 1: more mindful. Having said that, what I will say is
Speaker 1: the pressure isn't as bad, but it will always be
Speaker 1: there for me, sure for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that will always It's not the thing that is
Speaker 2: loved the most, you know what I mean, Like it's
Speaker 2: not yeah, Cramer, you yeah, I mean as often as
Speaker 2: we can really at least.
Speaker 3: I always feel like you two would be like a
Speaker 3: very say three to four times a week hot couple.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, in the afternoon, I'd say like three to four yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: I mean I think that's more than healthy. From my study,
Speaker 3: I'm starting to understand it's pretty it's like a once
Speaker 3: a weekish for most married couples.
Speaker 2: And whatever works for everyone at home, that's right exactly,
Speaker 2: but they're happier, I feel like sometimes.
Speaker 3: I think also, I just felt a little liberated that
Speaker 3: I finally got to stay out loud, like I really
Speaker 3: like to, you know, like of course I like to
Speaker 3: do that, but I would just I don't know. I
Speaker 3: guess it changed so dramatically when I was like yeah
Speaker 3: all the time and he was like, what, Like I
Speaker 3: cause I probably wasn't. I'm not like a big sexy
Speaker 3: girl vibe, you know, I don't put the off the
Speaker 3: excess sexual sexual energy, so I'm sure. And we had
Speaker 3: like a moment too where he's used to women pursuing
Speaker 3: him that has been you know, artist's life, and I
Speaker 3: that is just not who I am to be that
Speaker 3: forward now that he's my husband and knowing that, you
Speaker 3: know whatever, but I don't. I would never. I don't
Speaker 3: go chasing, you know, that's a that was like a
Speaker 3: I don't start or initiate. Mostly, I think that in
Speaker 3: my brain is always defaulted to the mail, so I
Speaker 3: I don't know, it's just like kind of cool to figure.
Speaker 2: That out about each other and talk about it. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think for me, it's like, it's really nice to
Speaker 2: have someone that wants to actually sleep with me and
Speaker 2: only me. Yeah, and like so it is refreshing. Well, no,
Speaker 2: it's just like he's you know, I'd never like Mike,
Speaker 2: never wanted to sleep with me, you know. So it
Speaker 2: was so nice to have someone that actually were on
Speaker 2: the same page. And that's that's nice to feel on
Speaker 2: the same page about that.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: So we got a letter from a wind Down listener,
Speaker 2: What up Melissa? So she needs advice on whether or
Speaker 2: not this is her thing. I need advice on whether
Speaker 2: or not I should try to remain friends with a
Speaker 2: friend who was my closest friend until I had my
Speaker 2: first son. Since my first son was born, she has
Speaker 2: not been there for me in ways I wish she was.
Speaker 2: She's a great person with a good heart, but has
Speaker 2: not shown up for me in the ways I wish
Speaker 2: she could have. We had to talk about it, but
Speaker 2: after my second child, things felt like they went back
Speaker 2: to the same way, barely speaking, and my kids don't
Speaker 2: know her. It's sad and I'm torn on whether or
Speaker 2: not to try to make this friendship work or to
Speaker 2: let it go.
Speaker 1: And the other friend does not have kids, that she
Speaker 1: did not say I'm going to guess that might be
Speaker 1: the case.
Speaker 2: I'm kind of guessing that's the case too, which I
Speaker 2: think it's hard for people that don't. I think it
Speaker 2: goes both ways. It's I have well, I mean, I
Speaker 2: have friends that I have a friend a couple friends
Speaker 2: that don't have kids, and our friendship is definitely not
Speaker 2: as strong as the ones with my friends that have kids,
Speaker 2: because there's a I can under I relate more to
Speaker 2: my friends that have the kids versus not, and there's
Speaker 2: I'll always have love for my other friends, but there
Speaker 2: is more of a bond with my friends with kids.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a friend that I grew up with
Speaker 1: i'd consider one of my best friends that we hardly
Speaker 1: ever see each other, and I know she's single, doesn't
Speaker 1: have kids, and I know there's some resentment there on
Speaker 1: towards me. But what's hard for me is like, just
Speaker 1: because I have kids and have the busier schedule, why
Speaker 1: does it have to fall on me to make it happen?
Speaker 1: And That's where I've kind of got resentment back because
Speaker 1: I'm like, but you could just as well call me
Speaker 1: and say and I have said that, and it's like, well,
Speaker 1: you're the one with the busy schedule, you're the one
Speaker 1: with the kids. I'm like, but you're still not asking either,
Speaker 1: so we both haven't made the effort, you know. And
Speaker 1: so but that's hard. It's hard when they don't have kids,
Speaker 1: you know for sure.
Speaker 2: That's a really good point though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's you know, and I took that
Speaker 1: on for a while, like, oh, I'm being a bad friend.
Speaker 1: I should do this, I should do that, And I'm like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, but like, you haven't asked either, are faulty. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So it goes, It goes both ways. But it's hard
Speaker 1: to say whether she should. I think it's whatever feels
Speaker 1: right to her, because you know, if you have expectations
Speaker 1: and they're not being met, then that's never going to
Speaker 1: fully work. I think if you can have no expectations
Speaker 1: or like, I have a friend I have no expectations
Speaker 1: of and I love her dearly may not see her,
Speaker 1: but I just don't have those expectations.
Speaker 2: So I mean the rest of her advice on that
Speaker 2: one will be I don't feel like you have to
Speaker 2: make a decision whether to cut the person out or not. Yeah,
Speaker 2: unless she did something to hurt you or sure, vice versa.
Speaker 2: But I don't think. I think you can always hold
Speaker 2: friendships close, even if they're far away. Yeah, I think
Speaker 2: as long as you say that it matters to you
Speaker 2: and that you wish they were part of your life more,
Speaker 2: because I think a lot of times in life, marriage, friendships, everything,
Speaker 2: we just don't maybe communicate what we need or what
Speaker 2: we want so clear, and then we get sad when
Speaker 2: someone's not like showing up the way we would prefer it.
Speaker 2: So as long as you can say wish you were
Speaker 2: with them more, I wish we were together more, and
Speaker 2: then just let it fall how it's supposed to fall.
Speaker 3: I lost one of my best friends pregnant with Legend,
Speaker 3: and it was because I didn't share that I was
Speaker 3: pregnant with him. I couldn't travel out of the country
Speaker 3: to go to the wedding, and there was just no
Speaker 3: understanding at all, and I was really sad and I
Speaker 3: carried it like it was my fault. And then I
Speaker 3: had this moment one day where I'm like, well, she
Speaker 3: hasn't checked on me either, yeah, you know, and I
Speaker 3: will say that person came with a lot of extra
Speaker 3: things I didn't really realize until God sorted out the pieces.
Speaker 3: So I think sometimes it's okay to like things dissolve
Speaker 3: or just be or change shape.
Speaker 1: Well, and kind of wrapping it up to what we
Speaker 1: were saying earlier, motherhood can be lonely too, So I
Speaker 1: think a lot of times these single friends of ours
Speaker 1: feel like maybe that they're a little bit alone. And
Speaker 1: then we go get a family and then we have kids.
Speaker 1: But motherhood can be lonely too, and like you can
Speaker 1: still I'll want for those relationships, you know. I think
Speaker 1: it's important for people to understand that too.
Speaker 3: And to be reminded of those pieces of you, Like
Speaker 3: I know, in motherhood, it was fun to be reminded
Speaker 3: by the people that knew me before I was a mom. Yeah,
Speaker 3: all the fun smart things about me really specifically, Yeah,
Speaker 3: for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And as my therapist to Amy said yesterday, you
Speaker 2: don't always have to fix everything, Like you can sit
Speaker 2: in your bad day. You can sit in the feeling
Speaker 2: of this doesn't feel good and like that's okay, Like
Speaker 2: you don't always have to fix the problem. You can
Speaker 2: just sit in it for the day and then we
Speaker 2: don't sit in it up forever, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: But we're always how do we have to fix that
Speaker 2: and the better? And I'm just sitting there. Okay, maybe
Speaker 2: we're just having a bad month or a bad whatever, like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's okay sitting in it.
Speaker 1: Yeah I like that.
Speaker 2: Well, sorry for the tears, ladies. My boobs live to
Speaker 2: see another wind. Okay, I'm pinning it for the next time.
Speaker 2: I'd like to pin it up. If that's a choice,
Speaker 2: that's a really good one, because I actually have something
Speaker 2: that I might pin out. Oh, and this is where
Speaker 2: we say goodbye.