WEBVTT - And I Will Always Love You 0:00:01.920 --> 0:00:05.359 Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. 0:00:06.400 --> 0:00:11.880 So you guys this uh this week. Don't worry. I'm 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:14.040 not going to start with by the way, I kind 0:00:14.040 --> 0:00:17.000 of liked it. I laughed at I did. I did 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:18.400 listen back because I just kind of wanted to hear 0:00:18.400 --> 0:00:20.319 the flow of the show last week because people were 0:00:20.360 --> 0:00:21.520 saying they were loving it. So I was like, all right, 0:00:21.560 --> 0:00:23.640 let's listen back, see like what you know, what was good, 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:26.920 what was working, you know whatever? But when when christ 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:28.400 and when you go is this are we going to 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:29.720 say this is the end of the show. Now, this 0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:32.480 is where we say goodbye. Well we love a marker. 0:00:33.440 --> 0:00:37.000 I just love that. So you know, I have notes 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:40.720 because but I for my my host chat and then 0:00:40.720 --> 0:00:42.360 I'm only bringing this up not to go in the 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:45.400 order again. But I'm not doing that. You're listening to 0:00:45.440 --> 0:00:50.960 wind down. Yes, but I'm having a hard time separating 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:52.680 my host chat from my wine about it because I 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:53.800 feel like they've blend together. 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:56.080 I was trying to figure out where I pinned my 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:58.120 items for discussion. 0:00:57.840 --> 0:01:00.000 Because I feel like it's just going to be a constant. 0:01:00.040 --> 0:01:04.520 Didn't whine That's how I felt last week. You weren't 0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:06.920 whining though, those were like really right, they were hard, 0:01:06.920 --> 0:01:08.720 but it is kind of hard to like, hey, what's 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:09.760 going on with your week? 0:01:10.040 --> 0:01:11.920 But then it's like, you know, so it is kind 0:01:11.920 --> 0:01:12.360 of hard to. 0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:15.160 Maybe it's like a little bit of a hybrid. Yeah 0:01:15.200 --> 0:01:17.480 it is. And I think I'm on my period. It's 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:20.920 been raining all three you're all now on your parents. 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:24.720 I started on Friday, Saturday, Saturday night, Ambush Saturday night 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:28.920 and pretty jam you were usually Sunday. I was, well, 0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:34.440 I'm actually extra proud of us, wow, because you guys 0:01:34.840 --> 0:01:36.559 can we Actually I don't know where. 0:01:36.680 --> 0:01:38.080 I don't know where to put this either, but. 0:01:40.760 --> 0:01:45.320 On the periods, I just am wondering because I know 0:01:45.440 --> 0:01:50.040 I'm only like a little bit older, but by a year, right, 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:52.480 you being like older than us, Yeah, not by much, 0:01:52.520 --> 0:01:55.120 just forty three, right, so only a couple forty one? 0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:57.360 Yeah yeah, yeah, so but I know that in the 0:01:57.440 --> 0:02:02.280 forty two years carry the one the remainder of this 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:04.120 is why we talk instead of doing math for a living. 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:08.160 So I have heard though, in the forties, like every 0:02:08.240 --> 0:02:10.640 year kind of counts when it comes to like perimenopausal 0:02:10.680 --> 0:02:13.040 symptoms and like all of that, Like people are like, Wow, 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:14.480 you know it hit me at forty four, it hit 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:17.920 me at forty two, whatever have you. I need to 0:02:17.960 --> 0:02:22.280 know because I can tell my feelings and hormones are 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:25.440 wiling out right before it happens. I know it because 0:02:25.480 --> 0:02:30.799 I'm like, this feels like that, but there's nobody in 0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:33.959 my brain telling me, don't say it. Christin, Oh, we've 0:02:34.000 --> 0:02:38.639 talked about this and it's gotten so much worse. I 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:44.840 don't know, in fact embarrassing. Yeah, and I'm ravenously eating. 0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:48.000 I knew something was up Friday because I just was. 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:50.480 It was like, couldn't get enough same. 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:53.000 I had a whole bag of set chips because I 0:02:53.120 --> 0:02:54.000 just needed the salt. 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:57.680 I went to Jimmy John's first time in seven years 0:02:57.800 --> 0:02:59.480 freaky fast. Did you see Mike and the kids because 0:02:59.480 --> 0:03:00.000 they're every day? 0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:01.880 Didn't? 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:07.520 I sure didn't. I'm gonna just hold all of my jokes. 0:03:08.400 --> 0:03:11.240 I feel like that was really good discernment. I just 0:03:11.240 --> 0:03:17.160 feel like it's like so hormonally driven. It's almost like 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:18.799 I don't know who I am in the moment. 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.960 Yeah, I went through a really bad phase of that. 0:03:22.000 --> 0:03:24.280 Mine's gotten a little bit better, So I don't know 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:27.200 what that means. But I went through a really bad 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:29.239 phase of it. I mean, even like my whole family 0:03:29.280 --> 0:03:29.800 kind of knew. 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:32.560 I mean, Preston even was trying to be kind last night, 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:34.120 but he said, baby, I like it when you settle 0:03:34.160 --> 0:03:35.760 in a couple of days in He's like, it's just 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:38.680 really like a different version of you. And I I know. 0:03:39.080 --> 0:03:41.040 And I didn't even deny it or snap. I just said, 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:43.520 I know, you explained it perfectly. It's like, you know, 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:46.840 and it's like, don't say that, don't say. 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:49.520 That, but you say it anyway. That's how I know. Like, 0:03:50.240 --> 0:03:52.480 I mean, I hear it coming out of my mouth 0:03:52.640 --> 0:03:54.600 and I know how ridiculous it is. 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:56.080 And don't you cringe a little? 0:03:56.160 --> 0:03:58.640 But also my pride is so big or something that 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:00.400 even the cringing can't stop me. 0:04:00.520 --> 0:04:00.720 Yeah. 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:01.920 Oh it's a weird thing. 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:04.600 Yeah, I feel like a few days before it's mine 0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:06.840 is a few days before yeah, my period where i 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:11.320 feel like I'm just squeezing everything in to not explode, 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:13.680 and then it explodes. And then I go, let me 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:17.360 go check my flow tracker and I'm like, four days 0:04:17.440 --> 0:04:21.080 until period. I'm like, well that tracks so yeah, yeah, 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:25.760 and then I do my apologies. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, yeah, 0:04:25.800 --> 0:04:28.239 and sometimes I don't. Yeah, yeah, that's okay. 0:04:28.360 --> 0:04:31.280 We now have I mean I had someone actually say 0:04:31.320 --> 0:04:33.040 to me one time, like, you probably shouldn't have shared 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:34.600 that about your daughter, that she's on her paper. I'm like, 0:04:34.640 --> 0:04:37.360 she's thirteen, like at this point, like we all know 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:39.800 like that it's human and it's life or whatever. But 0:04:39.880 --> 0:04:43.200 in our house, it's like we'll come home from a 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:45.640 cheer practice and Nick will literally go, so did you 0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:49.760 both start your period? Because we're just like yelling at 0:04:49.800 --> 0:04:50.200 each other. 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:53.640 So once I'm on it, I'm fine, I'm I'm tired, 0:04:53.680 --> 0:04:54.400 but that's about it. 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:56.400 So she usually is a few days before me, so 0:04:56.440 --> 0:04:58.480 hers will be like when she first, she'll be a 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:01.320 little bit more emotion and a little bit cranky, and 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:03.800 then I'm usually behind her, so it's like it it 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:06.280 lines up perfectly for me to be a few days 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:08.240 before and then it's just like, okay, these are the 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:09.640 days we I just need to not take you to 0:05:09.640 --> 0:05:11.160 practice and we need to not be in the car 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:13.080 for forty five minutes the worst. 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:16.120 I feel like before I used to have this really 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:17.719 strong part of me as a fifty to fifty split 0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:19.120 half of me was like girl, you're going crazy, and 0:05:19.120 --> 0:05:20.760 the other half was like, ah, we know what this is. 0:05:20.839 --> 0:05:23.400 Let's just table that, don't say it out loud. Whoever 0:05:23.440 --> 0:05:26.039 that girl is is gone now, and she is she 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:31.280 is replaced fully with some fighter like she whoever came 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:32.000 in is. 0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:37.039 She's a badass, but she's full of regret. Full of regret. 0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:37.680 That's funny. 0:05:38.240 --> 0:05:44.839 Well, I will just segue this into I was watching 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:48.760 your story, Kristen and the the Glove that you found on. 0:05:48.920 --> 0:05:52.520 So we just finished the OJ documentary I started out 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:55.080 last time. I have sigo to ask you, Yeah, did 0:05:55.160 --> 0:05:58.320 you watched it? Yeah? No, okay, well we finished watching it. 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:01.240 I had such a hard time. I'm falling asleep the 0:06:01.360 --> 0:06:05.760 night that we finished it because what he told his 0:06:05.880 --> 0:06:09.760 agent just literally kept me up at night. It was 0:06:10.040 --> 0:06:11.599 just wild to me. Did you do I mean to 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:12.240 say what he said? 0:06:12.360 --> 0:06:14.479 I don't care about spoiler to everybody if you don't 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:14.800 want to know. 0:06:14.880 --> 0:06:19.479 Spoiler alert also history also out there too. Yeah yeah, 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:24.120 but he said basically, they were talking and he said 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:29.120 to the agent. You know, OJ said to his agent, 0:06:29.760 --> 0:06:32.320 do you think I did it? And the agent goes, 0:06:32.440 --> 0:06:35.120 this was that moment where I do I fall on 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:37.160 the no man, like you know, the agent, just the 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:40.680 yes person, whatever he goes. But I'm going to tell 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:44.520 him the truth. And he said, yes, I actually do 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:47.120 think that you did. And he kind of looked away, 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:50.599 I guess, and then said, man, if a quote unque. 0:06:50.600 --> 0:06:52.359 I don't know what the actual quote was, but this 0:06:52.520 --> 0:06:54.520 was as close as I can get to it. He said, 0:06:54.560 --> 0:06:57.080 if only if she didn't show up to the door 0:06:57.120 --> 0:06:59.880 with a knife in her hand, she'd still be alive today. 0:07:01.520 --> 0:07:05.880 And that's what he said. And I go to just 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:10.680 that thought of how a narcissist explains that there's no 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:13.320 way like, yes, she was. I mean from the nine 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:15.320 one one calls that she had called on him before 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:19.640 and the domestic abuse that he did to her there, 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:24.200 I have a hard time believing that he didn't go 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:25.760 there just to kill her. I have a hard time. 0:07:26.120 --> 0:07:29.160 I feel like a narcissist would say he literally blamed 0:07:29.200 --> 0:07:32.400 her for opening the door with a knife, like that's 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:34.880 how I'm like, I just and it just made me 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:39.320 so angry. I agree. And it's a haunting. Yeah, it 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:40.200 was just such a. 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:44.000 It was such a narcissists way to frame it. It 0:07:44.040 --> 0:07:46.080 was the way it was framed when I saw how 0:07:46.200 --> 0:07:48.720 is this her fault? You've made this her fault? 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:51.600 Yeah, And it was just so sad to just what 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:53.680 there were so many things that weren't put into evidence, 0:07:53.720 --> 0:07:55.720 and then how they twisted the case. I mean, I 0:07:56.000 --> 0:07:57.800 didn't know any of that. I just because I'm like, God, 0:07:57.800 --> 0:07:59.360 I don't even want to watch this. We know what happens. 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:01.520 It's like the Titan, you know, whatever. But then you 0:08:01.560 --> 0:08:03.600 watch it and you're just like, this wasn't put into evidence. 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:06.120 This wasn't and they turned it into this, and it's 0:08:06.200 --> 0:08:07.760 just it was just maddening. 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:11.720 It's scary to think how. I understand why it's there, obviously, 0:08:11.760 --> 0:08:14.440 but it's scary to think how that can change so 0:08:14.600 --> 0:08:16.920 much what what is not allowed in evidence, what you 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.200 can talk about, what you can't talk about, and that 0:08:19.320 --> 0:08:22.960 can change the trajectory of a huge lawsuit like that. 0:08:23.040 --> 0:08:26.880 I mean, it's crazy, our huge trial. It's also weird. 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:29.720 I really am going to sound dumb, but I'm just 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:32.080 gonna throw myself under the bus. But I didn't realize 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:34.480 the difference in like the federal case, in the. 0:08:34.440 --> 0:08:37.400 Civil criminal and civil. Basically he got criminal and civil. 0:08:37.400 --> 0:08:37.920 Is that what it is? 0:08:38.640 --> 0:08:42.440 This was the civil after it was after and they said, yes, 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:45.520 he he did it, but then he just you know, 0:08:45.600 --> 0:08:49.880 the the the sister of the other victim was like, 0:08:49.960 --> 0:08:51.480 and then he just walked away and got into his 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:55.840 car and we haven't received a penny mind me. 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:58.320 So he this is where I'm going to sound remind 0:08:58.440 --> 0:08:59.960 So he was convicted. 0:09:00.800 --> 0:09:04.080 Or oj in the civil case, in the civil but 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.840 not the criminal, not the criminal, so criminal he was 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:09.880 let off and then they did if it didn't quit 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:15.000 right right, So then civil though, they said he did, 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.800 and then that was just it. Yeah, he was order 0:09:18.880 --> 0:09:20.760 to pay like thirty three million dollars. 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:23.200 And then okay, yeah, yeah, gosh. I just feel like, yeah, 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:23.640 that's well. 0:09:23.640 --> 0:09:25.600 We were also young when it happened, so I think 0:09:25.640 --> 0:09:28.120 it is like I remember obviously some of it, but 0:09:28.160 --> 0:09:28.960 I don't. 0:09:28.480 --> 0:09:31.559 I didn't know as much and I shouldn't remember watching 0:09:31.600 --> 0:09:37.000 the verdict in our seventh grade science class and oh wow, yeah, 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:37.800 isn't that insane? 0:09:37.800 --> 0:09:39.160 That ist like we shouldn't have been. 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:42.240 Watching right in seventh grade it was seventh or eighth 0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:44.320 grade whatever it was. But I just remember the teacher 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:46.679 being like, this is history and we need to like 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:49.920 put this on Yeah. I think as I watched, and 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:52.199 then in high school it was the towers, because the 0:09:52.320 --> 0:09:54.040 towers I remember that turn it on and we saw 0:09:54.080 --> 0:09:55.680 the plane go, and I mean it was just like 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:56.560 woof ty. 0:09:57.040 --> 0:09:59.240 Yeah, I don't think they would look that now. I 0:09:59.240 --> 0:09:59.720 don't think. 0:10:00.480 --> 0:10:00.920 I don't know. 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:02.839 There's a lot that they wouldn't do now. I think 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:05.640 what was wild to me is just the lack of remorse. 0:10:05.720 --> 0:10:08.840 It felt like because there was a celebration when he 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:12.920 was found not guilty, and I thought, yet, still the 0:10:12.920 --> 0:10:14.320 wife of your children is dead. 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:17.920 So that was the wildest part for me. I guess 0:10:17.960 --> 0:10:18.320 I didn't. 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:20.520 I mean just because we were young, I probably didn't know, 0:10:20.559 --> 0:10:22.840 and because social media wasn't so wild, so we probably 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:26.320 weren't getting everything as fast. But I was blown away 0:10:26.360 --> 0:10:31.160 that were like celebrating his freedom. Fine, but we're celebrating 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:35.319 freedom from you still have a dead ex wife, the 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:37.439 mother of your children, and your children were in the 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:38.320 house when it happened. 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:39.120 Wild. 0:10:39.200 --> 0:10:40.719 Yeah, nothing's the same no matter what. 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:44.040 And because of you, I started out last, Oh oh 0:10:44.120 --> 0:10:46.400 are and I didn't think I was gonna like it. 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:46.760 Okay. 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:48.960 One thing that is hard is if you fall asleep, 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:52.640 it's very hard to figure out what your because it 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:57.520 all looks the same. It's wild out there, right, you 0:10:57.520 --> 0:10:59.840 haven't watched it, no, but I feel like those are 0:10:59.880 --> 0:11:03.080 all kind of the same, right, trying to survive. Yeah, 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:05.600 I was mind a survivor. I want to watch season two. 0:11:05.600 --> 0:11:08.280 I didn't watch season one. In season two, Oh, there's 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:09.880 two seasons. What season am I watching? 0:11:10.080 --> 0:11:14.679 I don't know. Probably watch the Little Ladies Jill in 0:11:14.720 --> 0:11:18.720 your cast, which who she paired with? The blonde Jill 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:22.280 No from Kentucky. Jill. Oh, I think we had different 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:25.280 on different I need to get in season one season one. 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:27.400 Can we just send like a group chat or what 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:30.319 we're going to be watching so I can get on that. 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:45.040 I would like to bring this up in the host 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:47.760 chat discussion because we are snuggled inside of host chat 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:51.960 for anyone that's longer. We are still a host chat. 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:59.120 But it's about something. Okay, it was something that just 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:01.720 I had a you know, I'm a host chat idea, 0:12:01.760 --> 0:12:04.199 and I was watching this show last night. So what 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:07.319 were we watching? We were watching, Oh, we were watching 0:12:07.520 --> 0:12:09.920 Paradise because there was a new episode, so we watched 0:12:09.920 --> 0:12:15.560 that and then Alan was tired, so I was stayed 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:16.960 on Hulu, and I was like, oh, there's a new 0:12:17.000 --> 0:12:18.839 Kardashians out, so I'm going to watch Kardashians. So I 0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:22.679 watched the new episode and it was there was just 0:12:22.720 --> 0:12:25.120 the one that you could watch, and so I watched it, 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:30.280 and I love Chloe, right, and so I just I'm 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:33.480 always like, you know, I love just watching her storylines. 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:37.120 And it was a very big Chloe storyline because Lamar 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:39.480 came on the show and so it was part one 0:12:39.520 --> 0:12:41.360 of her talking to Lamar and obviously, you know, they 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:44.200 were married for almost seven years and you know, he 0:12:44.400 --> 0:12:47.800 ended up. I believe it was overdosing at a brothel 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:50.439 and then she took care of him and then they 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:54.880 got divorced. And Malika had said something and Milika, right, yeah, okay, 0:12:55.280 --> 0:12:57.520 she had said something. She's like, you know, the love. 0:12:57.760 --> 0:12:59.600 She's like, when you love someone, the love will always 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:02.600 be there and you'll always love that person. And they 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:05.880 just got me thinking, I'm like about that because you 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:07.840 know how when you break up with someone they say 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:12.920 like I'll always love you, or there's even songs about it. Right, 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:15.200 But then I just kind of really started thinking about 0:13:15.200 --> 0:13:17.160 it because I'm like, I have zero love for my 0:13:17.240 --> 0:13:21.440 ex Mike if you're listening to them. But I don't 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:23.560 like I know this like being in love and like love, 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:26.200 but I don't love. I don't. I don't have any 0:13:26.240 --> 0:13:29.559 love for him, like I don't. When she's like, you'll 0:13:29.559 --> 0:13:35.720 always love that person, I don't love that person, I would. 0:13:35.559 --> 0:13:40.920 Agree, I I don't know that I I how do 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:44.320 I say this without I don't feel like you don't 0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:47.199 what do you mean? I feel like if something were 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:49.360 to happen to Mike tomorrow, you would be there and 0:13:49.400 --> 0:13:51.319 you would help him out. That doesn't mean as a 0:13:51.320 --> 0:13:53.280 form of love. That is a form of love. 0:13:54.520 --> 0:13:56.560 Right now, No, because he's also part of my wine 0:13:56.600 --> 0:13:57.000 about it. 0:13:57.080 --> 0:14:02.320 So but I think deep down there is still but 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:05.640 that that's I don't think that's love though, like how 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:09.080 they're saying, sure you, but I think that there's I 0:14:09.120 --> 0:14:10.439 see both sides to that, like. 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:12.520 You'll always love this person, and I do see what 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:15.920 you're saying. I will, I will always be there to help. 0:14:16.000 --> 0:14:18.600 But that's not out of love, that's just out of 0:14:19.680 --> 0:14:22.280 like I guess when I hear her say, you know, 0:14:23.960 --> 0:14:26.320 I can see how you're taking it right, So I 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:28.160 do get that piece of it, But I guess I 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:30.680 hear it as like you'll always love that person, and 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.680 I just disagree with that piece of it. 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:36.120 This is interesting, as I would consider myself the care 0:14:36.120 --> 0:14:38.440 bear of the group. I would agree with you, Kramer, 0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:42.240 interesting because I had an ex husband and I do 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:45.560 not love him, right, I don't feel And maybe it 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:49.080 is because now we have such a huge love that 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:52.440 we know the difference. But to your to go to 0:14:53.720 --> 0:14:56.480 what Catherine saying though, So what she's saying like, if 0:14:56.480 --> 0:14:58.480 he needed you, you're obviously gonna be there. 0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:01.400 No, but I don't have to because I don't have 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.040 kids with him. Right. But let's say you impressed and 0:15:04.080 --> 0:15:07.120 got divorced. Let's just say, okay, put yourself in that situation. 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:11.000 Pet is something dirty and you guys got divorced, right, 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:13.640 and that person that you always thought you were going 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.160 to love, where does that look like? And if he 0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:19.240 needs you, you're going to obviously help him. But to me, 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:21.080 that's still not I know it's not. I do it 0:15:21.080 --> 0:15:23.320 because I'm just the mom and I I care, but 0:15:23.360 --> 0:15:27.200 I don't. It's not it's not a like I mean, 0:15:27.240 --> 0:15:29.920 I see what you're saying. I'm struggling on that piece. 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:32.880 I see both sides to me, it feels almost like 0:15:33.000 --> 0:15:35.800 there's still a hate spot in there, a little bit 0:15:35.920 --> 0:15:36.920 not hate. 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:39.400 But like I have a massive resentment right but to 0:15:39.520 --> 0:15:42.040 I don't hate anyone, Yeah, resentment. 0:15:41.680 --> 0:15:46.760 Hat but there's I think that there's so much of 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.280 that that's still kind of a form of love in 0:15:49.320 --> 0:15:51.480 a way. And I can think about people close to 0:15:51.520 --> 0:15:54.440 me that I could say I don't really feel like 0:15:54.480 --> 0:15:56.480 I have that much love for them, but I think 0:15:56.560 --> 0:15:59.960 if I really went down deep into it, there is 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:02.200 still a form of love that. 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.280 I mean, I like, I like the flip side of that, 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:07.800 you know, I don't dislike, do you still have love 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:11.400 for the person that you loved before? I think so, 0:16:12.480 --> 0:16:15.560 Like I have love for like my ex high school boyfriend. 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:17.760 I was just like you guys say, I have a 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:20.000 box in my thing and I was trying to clean 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:23.640 up my wind down stuff and I'm reading these notes 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:25.600 and he's like, I will always love you, which made 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:27.480 me like, you know, I'm just starting just to read 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:29.560 them because I'm like these first made me laugh, But 0:16:29.600 --> 0:16:33.120 then I was also like, you know, I'm like, where 0:16:33.120 --> 0:16:35.240 does that love go? You know, I'm like, because I'm like, 0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:37.840 I have love for my heart always for him because 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:40.480 he was my first and like I and now he 0:16:40.480 --> 0:16:42.480 has a beautiful family and I love that for him, 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:44.120 and I love you know, his I love his wife, 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:47.680 and I love you know, will always have I will 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:50.280 always have love for him. But I don't feel the 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.760 same for Mike. Does it have to do maybe an 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:54.720 equal parts hurt. 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:57.760 I feel like there's just still anger because she said 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:00.520 like heavy, I mean, listen, I also that way about 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:00.720 my house. 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:03.000 How can you love someone that hurt you so bad? 0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:05.359 Well, I think that's why it hurts so bad. 0:17:05.920 --> 0:17:09.120 But then how is their love to me if. 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:13.000 You still have some sort of resentment or an anger 0:17:13.160 --> 0:17:16.520 or even a feeling towards that person. In my mind, 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:17.840 that's rooted in love? 0:17:18.960 --> 0:17:22.960 No, no, no, that is rude. I don't I don't 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:23.680 like him. 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:25.800 I feel like he wouldn't care if you did in 0:17:25.840 --> 0:17:28.280 some way and not in an in love at all. 0:17:28.960 --> 0:17:31.440 The things that he did to me, that some things 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:34.359 I can't disclose. I can't find love for a person 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:34.679 like that. 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:38.600 And I hear, I mean, I agree, I'm not disagreeing 0:17:38.640 --> 0:17:38.960 with that. 0:17:39.240 --> 0:17:43.560 I just but I will always help if needed, and 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:48.280 whatever I think. Caring about him maybe and not loving him. 0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:51.840 It's it's just the thing that we would do like 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:53.960 I would always be I always be there, you know, 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:56.480 out of respect that he's the father of my children, 0:17:57.000 --> 0:17:58.280 of two of my children, you know. 0:17:58.960 --> 0:18:01.840 And maybe you truly don't and I'm not just but 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:03.560 I do see your side, you. 0:18:03.560 --> 0:18:06.200 Know what I mean, Because when you said that, I'm like, well, 0:18:06.240 --> 0:18:08.520 I don't feel that way, you know, but I but 0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:11.280 I also love your point of view on it, because 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:13.040 of course I would be there for them if you 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:14.719 needed me. Is that love? I don't know. 0:18:15.040 --> 0:18:17.080 Yeah, that's a you know, a good that's a really 0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:17.639 good question. 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:19.840 It's something that I can. I can. But I also 0:18:19.880 --> 0:18:22.800 then go to the flip side of well, how I 0:18:22.880 --> 0:18:25.119 know that they they're are in their own stuff or whatever, 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:27.720 and that's why they do X, Y and Z. But 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:31.680 can you still care without the love? Because that's where 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:32.440 I think I'd be at. 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:36.280 Can you still care without the love? And probably? Yeah? 0:18:36.520 --> 0:18:39.560 I think I have compassion, yeah, but I don't have love. 0:18:40.160 --> 0:18:42.480 That's yeah, empathy, Yeah, that's fair. 0:18:42.640 --> 0:18:44.439 Yeah, Like I don't want anything bad to happen to 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:47.920