1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wine Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heart Radio Podcast. 2 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:11,880 Speaker 2: So you guys this uh this week. Don't worry. I'm 3 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 2: not going to start with by the way, I kind 4 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,000 Speaker 2: of liked it. I laughed at I did. I did 5 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 2: listen back because I just kind of wanted to hear 6 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,319 Speaker 2: the flow of the show last week because people were 7 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 2: saying they were loving it. So I was like, all right, 8 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,640 Speaker 2: let's listen back, see like what you know, what was good, 9 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 2: what was working, you know whatever? But when when christ 10 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 2: and when you go is this are we going to 11 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 2: say this is the end of the show. Now, this 12 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,480 Speaker 2: is where we say goodbye. Well we love a marker. 13 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 2: I just love that. So you know, I have notes 14 00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:40,720 Speaker 2: because but I for my my host chat and then 15 00:00:40,720 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 2: I'm only bringing this up not to go in the 16 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,400 Speaker 2: order again. But I'm not doing that. You're listening to 17 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 2: wind down. Yes, but I'm having a hard time separating 18 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 2: my host chat from my wine about it because I 19 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 2: feel like they've blend together. 20 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:56,080 Speaker 3: I was trying to figure out where I pinned my 21 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 3: items for discussion. 22 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 2: Because I feel like it's just going to be a constant. 23 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 2: Didn't whine That's how I felt last week. You weren't 24 00:01:04,520 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 2: whining though, those were like really right, they were hard, 25 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 2: but it is kind of hard to like, hey, what's 26 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 2: going on with your week? 27 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:11,920 Speaker 1: But then it's like, you know, so it is kind 28 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:12,360 Speaker 1: of hard to. 29 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 2: Maybe it's like a little bit of a hybrid. Yeah 30 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,480 Speaker 2: it is. And I think I'm on my period. It's 31 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,920 Speaker 2: been raining all three you're all now on your parents. 32 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,720 Speaker 3: I started on Friday, Saturday, Saturday night, Ambush Saturday night 33 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 3: and pretty jam you were usually Sunday. I was, well, 34 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 3: I'm actually extra proud of us, wow, because you guys 35 00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:36,559 Speaker 3: can we Actually I don't know where. 36 00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: I don't know where to put this either, but. 37 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:45,320 Speaker 3: On the periods, I just am wondering because I know 38 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 3: I'm only like a little bit older, but by a year, right, 39 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 3: you being like older than us, Yeah, not by much, 40 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,120 Speaker 3: just forty three, right, so only a couple forty one? 41 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, so but I know that in the 42 00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:02,280 Speaker 3: forty two years carry the one the remainder of this 43 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 3: is why we talk instead of doing math for a living. 44 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 3: So I have heard though, in the forties, like every 45 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,640 Speaker 3: year kind of counts when it comes to like perimenopausal 46 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 3: symptoms and like all of that, Like people are like, Wow, 47 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:14,480 Speaker 3: you know it hit me at forty four, it hit 48 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,920 Speaker 3: me at forty two, whatever have you. I need to 49 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:22,280 Speaker 3: know because I can tell my feelings and hormones are 50 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 3: wiling out right before it happens. I know it because 51 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:30,799 Speaker 3: I'm like, this feels like that, but there's nobody in 52 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,959 Speaker 3: my brain telling me, don't say it. Christin, Oh, we've 53 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,639 Speaker 3: talked about this and it's gotten so much worse. I 54 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 3: don't know, in fact embarrassing. Yeah, and I'm ravenously eating. 55 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 3: I knew something was up Friday because I just was. 56 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,480 Speaker 3: It was like, couldn't get enough same. 57 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,000 Speaker 2: I had a whole bag of set chips because I 58 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 2: just needed the salt. 59 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,680 Speaker 3: I went to Jimmy John's first time in seven years 60 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 3: freaky fast. Did you see Mike and the kids because 61 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,000 Speaker 3: they're every day? 62 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 2: Didn't? 63 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:07,520 Speaker 3: I sure didn't. I'm gonna just hold all of my jokes. 64 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 3: I feel like that was really good discernment. I just 65 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 3: feel like it's like so hormonally driven. It's almost like 66 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:18,799 Speaker 3: I don't know who I am in the moment. 67 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I went through a really bad phase of that. 68 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: Mine's gotten a little bit better, So I don't know 69 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: what that means. But I went through a really bad 70 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,239 Speaker 1: phase of it. I mean, even like my whole family 71 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 1: kind of knew. 72 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,560 Speaker 3: I mean, Preston even was trying to be kind last night, 73 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 3: but he said, baby, I like it when you settle 74 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 3: in a couple of days in He's like, it's just 75 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 3: really like a different version of you. And I I know. 76 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,040 Speaker 3: And I didn't even deny it or snap. I just said, 77 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,520 Speaker 3: I know, you explained it perfectly. It's like, you know, 78 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,840 Speaker 3: and it's like, don't say that, don't say. 79 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,520 Speaker 1: That, but you say it anyway. That's how I know. Like, 80 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: I mean, I hear it coming out of my mouth 81 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: and I know how ridiculous it is. 82 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 2: And don't you cringe a little? 83 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 3: But also my pride is so big or something that 84 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 3: even the cringing can't stop me. 85 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 2: Yeah. 86 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:01,920 Speaker 1: Oh it's a weird thing. 87 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like a few days before it's mine 88 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 2: is a few days before yeah, my period where i 89 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 2: feel like I'm just squeezing everything in to not explode, 90 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,680 Speaker 2: and then it explodes. And then I go, let me 91 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 2: go check my flow tracker and I'm like, four days 92 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 2: until period. I'm like, well that tracks so yeah, yeah, 93 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:25,760 Speaker 2: and then I do my apologies. Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, yeah, 94 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:28,239 Speaker 2: and sometimes I don't. Yeah, yeah, that's okay. 95 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:31,280 Speaker 1: We now have I mean I had someone actually say 96 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 1: to me one time, like, you probably shouldn't have shared 97 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 1: that about your daughter, that she's on her paper. I'm like, 98 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,360 Speaker 1: she's thirteen, like at this point, like we all know 99 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: like that it's human and it's life or whatever. But 100 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: in our house, it's like we'll come home from a 101 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,640 Speaker 1: cheer practice and Nick will literally go, so did you 102 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 1: both start your period? Because we're just like yelling at 103 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: each other. 104 00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 2: So once I'm on it, I'm fine, I'm I'm tired, 105 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:54,400 Speaker 2: but that's about it. 106 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: So she usually is a few days before me, so 107 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,480 Speaker 1: hers will be like when she first, she'll be a 108 00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:01,320 Speaker 1: little bit more emotion and a little bit cranky, and 109 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: then I'm usually behind her, so it's like it it 110 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,280 Speaker 1: lines up perfectly for me to be a few days 111 00:05:06,279 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 1: before and then it's just like, okay, these are the 112 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: days we I just need to not take you to 113 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 1: practice and we need to not be in the car 114 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: for forty five minutes the worst. 115 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 3: I feel like before I used to have this really 116 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,719 Speaker 3: strong part of me as a fifty to fifty split 117 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 3: half of me was like girl, you're going crazy, and 118 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 3: the other half was like, ah, we know what this is. 119 00:05:20,839 --> 00:05:23,400 Speaker 3: Let's just table that, don't say it out loud. Whoever 120 00:05:23,440 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 3: that girl is is gone now, and she is she 121 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 3: is replaced fully with some fighter like she whoever came 122 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:32,000 Speaker 3: in is. 123 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:37,039 Speaker 2: She's a badass, but she's full of regret. Full of regret. 124 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 1: That's funny. 125 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:44,839 Speaker 2: Well, I will just segue this into I was watching 126 00:05:44,839 --> 00:05:48,760 Speaker 2: your story, Kristen and the the Glove that you found on. 127 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:52,520 Speaker 2: So we just finished the OJ documentary I started out 128 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 2: last time. I have sigo to ask you, Yeah, did 129 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:58,320 Speaker 2: you watched it? Yeah? No, okay, well we finished watching it. 130 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:01,240 Speaker 2: I had such a hard time. I'm falling asleep the 131 00:06:01,360 --> 00:06:05,760 Speaker 2: night that we finished it because what he told his 132 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 2: agent just literally kept me up at night. It was 133 00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:11,599 Speaker 2: just wild to me. Did you do I mean to 134 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:12,240 Speaker 2: say what he said? 135 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,479 Speaker 1: I don't care about spoiler to everybody if you don't 136 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:14,800 Speaker 1: want to know. 137 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:19,479 Speaker 2: Spoiler alert also history also out there too. Yeah yeah, 138 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:24,120 Speaker 2: but he said basically, they were talking and he said 139 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:29,120 Speaker 2: to the agent. You know, OJ said to his agent, 140 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 2: do you think I did it? And the agent goes, 141 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 2: this was that moment where I do I fall on 142 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 2: the no man, like you know, the agent, just the 143 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 2: yes person, whatever he goes. But I'm going to tell 144 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 2: him the truth. And he said, yes, I actually do 145 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:47,120 Speaker 2: think that you did. And he kind of looked away, 146 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,599 Speaker 2: I guess, and then said, man, if a quote unque. 147 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,359 Speaker 2: I don't know what the actual quote was, but this 148 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 2: was as close as I can get to it. He said, 149 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 2: if only if she didn't show up to the door 150 00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 2: with a knife in her hand, she'd still be alive today. 151 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:05,880 Speaker 2: And that's what he said. And I go to just 152 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 2: that thought of how a narcissist explains that there's no 153 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 2: way like, yes, she was. I mean from the nine 154 00:07:13,320 --> 00:07:15,320 Speaker 2: one one calls that she had called on him before 155 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 2: and the domestic abuse that he did to her there, 156 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 2: I have a hard time believing that he didn't go 157 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 2: there just to kill her. I have a hard time. 158 00:07:26,120 --> 00:07:29,160 Speaker 2: I feel like a narcissist would say he literally blamed 159 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 2: her for opening the door with a knife, like that's 160 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 2: how I'm like, I just and it just made me 161 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 2: so angry. I agree. And it's a haunting. Yeah, it 162 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 2: was just such a. 163 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 3: It was such a narcissists way to frame it. It 164 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 3: was the way it was framed when I saw how 165 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:48,720 Speaker 3: is this her fault? You've made this her fault? 166 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was just so sad to just what 167 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 2: there were so many things that weren't put into evidence, 168 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,720 Speaker 2: and then how they twisted the case. I mean, I 169 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 2: didn't know any of that. I just because I'm like, God, 170 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 2: I don't even want to watch this. We know what happens. 171 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 2: It's like the Titan, you know, whatever. But then you 172 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 2: watch it and you're just like, this wasn't put into evidence. 173 00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 2: This wasn't and they turned it into this, and it's 174 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,760 Speaker 2: just it was just maddening. 175 00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: It's scary to think how. I understand why it's there, obviously, 176 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,440 Speaker 1: but it's scary to think how that can change so 177 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 1: much what what is not allowed in evidence, what you 178 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,200 Speaker 1: can talk about, what you can't talk about, and that 179 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: can change the trajectory of a huge lawsuit like that. 180 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: I mean, it's crazy, our huge trial. It's also weird. 181 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,720 Speaker 3: I really am going to sound dumb, but I'm just 182 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:32,080 Speaker 3: gonna throw myself under the bus. But I didn't realize 183 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 3: the difference in like the federal case, in the. 184 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 2: Civil criminal and civil. Basically he got criminal and civil. 185 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:37,920 Speaker 1: Is that what it is? 186 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 2: This was the civil after it was after and they said, yes, 187 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 2: he he did it, but then he just you know, 188 00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 2: the the the sister of the other victim was like, 189 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,480 Speaker 2: and then he just walked away and got into his 190 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 2: car and we haven't received a penny mind me. 191 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: So he this is where I'm going to sound remind 192 00:08:58,440 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 1: So he was convicted. 193 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:04,080 Speaker 2: Or oj in the civil case, in the civil but 194 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,840 Speaker 2: not the criminal, not the criminal, so criminal he was 195 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 2: let off and then they did if it didn't quit 196 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 2: right right, So then civil though, they said he did, 197 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 2: and then that was just it. Yeah, he was order 198 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 2: to pay like thirty three million dollars. 199 00:09:20,559 --> 00:09:23,200 Speaker 1: And then okay, yeah, yeah, gosh. I just feel like, yeah, 200 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: that's well. 201 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,600 Speaker 3: We were also young when it happened, so I think 202 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 3: it is like I remember obviously some of it, but 203 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:28,960 Speaker 3: I don't. 204 00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:31,559 Speaker 2: I didn't know as much and I shouldn't remember watching 205 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 2: the verdict in our seventh grade science class and oh wow, yeah, 206 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 2: isn't that insane? 207 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: That ist like we shouldn't have been. 208 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 2: Watching right in seventh grade it was seventh or eighth 209 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 2: grade whatever it was. But I just remember the teacher 210 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,679 Speaker 2: being like, this is history and we need to like 211 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 2: put this on Yeah. I think as I watched, and 212 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,199 Speaker 2: then in high school it was the towers, because the 213 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,040 Speaker 2: towers I remember that turn it on and we saw 214 00:09:54,080 --> 00:09:55,680 Speaker 2: the plane go, and I mean it was just like 215 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 2: woof ty. 216 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think they would look that now. I 217 00:09:59,240 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 1: don't think. 218 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 2: I don't know. 219 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,839 Speaker 3: There's a lot that they wouldn't do now. I think 220 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 3: what was wild to me is just the lack of remorse. 221 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,840 Speaker 3: It felt like because there was a celebration when he 222 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 3: was found not guilty, and I thought, yet, still the 223 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 3: wife of your children is dead. 224 00:10:15,679 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 2: So that was the wildest part for me. I guess 225 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 2: I didn't. 226 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 3: I mean just because we were young, I probably didn't know, 227 00:10:20,559 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 3: and because social media wasn't so wild, so we probably 228 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 3: weren't getting everything as fast. But I was blown away 229 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:31,160 Speaker 3: that were like celebrating his freedom. Fine, but we're celebrating 230 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:35,319 Speaker 3: freedom from you still have a dead ex wife, the 231 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,439 Speaker 3: mother of your children, and your children were in the 232 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,320 Speaker 3: house when it happened. 233 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 2: Wild. 234 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:40,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, nothing's the same no matter what. 235 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:44,040 Speaker 3: And because of you, I started out last, Oh oh 236 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 3: are and I didn't think I was gonna like it. 237 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:46,760 Speaker 2: Okay. 238 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 3: One thing that is hard is if you fall asleep, 239 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 3: it's very hard to figure out what your because it 240 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:57,520 Speaker 3: all looks the same. It's wild out there, right, you 241 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,840 Speaker 3: haven't watched it, no, but I feel like those are 242 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:03,080 Speaker 3: all kind of the same, right, trying to survive. Yeah, 243 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,600 Speaker 3: I was mind a survivor. I want to watch season two. 244 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 3: I didn't watch season one. In season two, Oh, there's 245 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:09,880 Speaker 3: two seasons. What season am I watching? 246 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:14,679 Speaker 2: I don't know. Probably watch the Little Ladies Jill in 247 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 2: your cast, which who she paired with? The blonde Jill 248 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 2: No from Kentucky. Jill. Oh, I think we had different 249 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 2: on different I need to get in season one season one. 250 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,400 Speaker 1: Can we just send like a group chat or what 251 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:30,319 Speaker 1: we're going to be watching so I can get on that. 252 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 2: I would like to bring this up in the host 253 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 2: chat discussion because we are snuggled inside of host chat 254 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,960 Speaker 2: for anyone that's longer. We are still a host chat. 255 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 2: But it's about something. Okay, it was something that just 256 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,720 Speaker 2: I had a you know, I'm a host chat idea, 257 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,199 Speaker 2: and I was watching this show last night. So what 258 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,319 Speaker 2: were we watching? We were watching, Oh, we were watching 259 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 2: Paradise because there was a new episode, so we watched 260 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:15,560 Speaker 2: that and then Alan was tired, so I was stayed 261 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 2: on Hulu, and I was like, oh, there's a new 262 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,839 Speaker 2: Kardashians out, so I'm going to watch Kardashians. So I 263 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,679 Speaker 2: watched the new episode and it was there was just 264 00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 2: the one that you could watch, and so I watched it, 265 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:30,280 Speaker 2: and I love Chloe, right, and so I just I'm 266 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 2: always like, you know, I love just watching her storylines. 267 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 2: And it was a very big Chloe storyline because Lamar 268 00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,480 Speaker 2: came on the show and so it was part one 269 00:12:39,520 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 2: of her talking to Lamar and obviously, you know, they 270 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 2: were married for almost seven years and you know, he 271 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 2: ended up. I believe it was overdosing at a brothel 272 00:12:48,440 --> 00:12:50,439 Speaker 2: and then she took care of him and then they 273 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:54,880 Speaker 2: got divorced. And Malika had said something and Milika, right, yeah, okay, 274 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 2: she had said something. She's like, you know, the love. 275 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,600 Speaker 2: She's like, when you love someone, the love will always 276 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 2: be there and you'll always love that person. And they 277 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 2: just got me thinking, I'm like about that because you 278 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 2: know how when you break up with someone they say 279 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 2: like I'll always love you, or there's even songs about it. Right, 280 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,200 Speaker 2: But then I just kind of really started thinking about 281 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,160 Speaker 2: it because I'm like, I have zero love for my 282 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:21,440 Speaker 2: ex Mike if you're listening to them. But I don't 283 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,560 Speaker 2: like I know this like being in love and like love, 284 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 2: but I don't love. I don't. I don't have any 285 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,559 Speaker 2: love for him, like I don't. When she's like, you'll 286 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:35,720 Speaker 2: always love that person, I don't love that person, I would. 287 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:40,920 Speaker 1: Agree, I I don't know that I I how do 288 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:44,320 Speaker 1: I say this without I don't feel like you don't 289 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,199 Speaker 1: what do you mean? I feel like if something were 290 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,360 Speaker 1: to happen to Mike tomorrow, you would be there and 291 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,319 Speaker 1: you would help him out. That doesn't mean as a 292 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:53,280 Speaker 1: form of love. That is a form of love. 293 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 2: Right now, No, because he's also part of my wine 294 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 2: about it. 295 00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:02,320 Speaker 1: So but I think deep down there is still but 296 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: that that's I don't think that's love though, like how 297 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 1: they're saying, sure you, but I think that there's I 298 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,439 Speaker 1: see both sides to that, like. 299 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 2: You'll always love this person, and I do see what 300 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:15,920 Speaker 2: you're saying. I will, I will always be there to help. 301 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,600 Speaker 2: But that's not out of love, that's just out of 302 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 2: like I guess when I hear her say, you know, 303 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 2: I can see how you're taking it right, So I 304 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,160 Speaker 2: do get that piece of it, But I guess I 305 00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:30,680 Speaker 2: hear it as like you'll always love that person, and 306 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:33,680 Speaker 2: I just disagree with that piece of it. 307 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,120 Speaker 3: This is interesting, as I would consider myself the care 308 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 3: bear of the group. I would agree with you, Kramer, 309 00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 3: interesting because I had an ex husband and I do 310 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,560 Speaker 3: not love him, right, I don't feel And maybe it 311 00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 3: is because now we have such a huge love that 312 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 3: we know the difference. But to your to go to 313 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 3: what Catherine saying though, So what she's saying like, if 314 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 3: he needed you, you're obviously gonna be there. 315 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:01,400 Speaker 2: No, but I don't have to because I don't have 316 00:15:01,480 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 2: kids with him. Right. But let's say you impressed and 317 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,120 Speaker 2: got divorced. Let's just say, okay, put yourself in that situation. 318 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,000 Speaker 2: Pet is something dirty and you guys got divorced, right, 319 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,640 Speaker 2: and that person that you always thought you were going 320 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:16,160 Speaker 2: to love, where does that look like? And if he 321 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,240 Speaker 2: needs you, you're going to obviously help him. But to me, 322 00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 2: that's still not I know it's not. I do it 323 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 2: because I'm just the mom and I I care, but 324 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:27,200 Speaker 2: I don't. It's not it's not a like I mean, 325 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,920 Speaker 2: I see what you're saying. I'm struggling on that piece. 326 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,880 Speaker 1: I see both sides to me, it feels almost like 327 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 1: there's still a hate spot in there, a little bit 328 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:36,920 Speaker 1: not hate. 329 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 2: But like I have a massive resentment right but to 330 00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 2: I don't hate anyone, Yeah, resentment. 331 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:46,760 Speaker 1: Hat but there's I think that there's so much of 332 00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 1: that that's still kind of a form of love in 333 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 1: a way. And I can think about people close to 334 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,440 Speaker 1: me that I could say I don't really feel like 335 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,480 Speaker 1: I have that much love for them, but I think 336 00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,960 Speaker 1: if I really went down deep into it, there is 337 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: still a form of love that. 338 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 2: I mean, I like, I like the flip side of that, 339 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 2: you know, I don't dislike, do you still have love 340 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 2: for the person that you loved before? I think so, 341 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,560 Speaker 2: Like I have love for like my ex high school boyfriend. 342 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,760 Speaker 2: I was just like you guys say, I have a 343 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 2: box in my thing and I was trying to clean 344 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 2: up my wind down stuff and I'm reading these notes 345 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 2: and he's like, I will always love you, which made 346 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,480 Speaker 2: me like, you know, I'm just starting just to read 347 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,560 Speaker 2: them because I'm like these first made me laugh, But 348 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 2: then I was also like, you know, I'm like, where 349 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:35,240 Speaker 2: does that love go? You know, I'm like, because I'm like, 350 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 2: I have love for my heart always for him because 351 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 2: he was my first and like I and now he 352 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:42,480 Speaker 2: has a beautiful family and I love that for him, 353 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 2: and I love you know, his I love his wife, 354 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 2: and I love you know, will always have I will 355 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 2: always have love for him. But I don't feel the 356 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 2: same for Mike. Does it have to do maybe an 357 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 2: equal parts hurt. 358 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 3: I feel like there's just still anger because she said 359 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 3: like heavy, I mean, listen, I also that way about 360 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 3: my house. 361 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 2: How can you love someone that hurt you so bad? 362 00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 1: Well, I think that's why it hurts so bad. 363 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,120 Speaker 2: But then how is their love to me if. 364 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 1: You still have some sort of resentment or an anger 365 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:16,520 Speaker 1: or even a feeling towards that person. In my mind, 366 00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:17,840 Speaker 1: that's rooted in love? 367 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,960 Speaker 2: No, no, no, that is rude. I don't I don't 368 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:23,680 Speaker 2: like him. 369 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,800 Speaker 1: I feel like he wouldn't care if you did in 370 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:28,280 Speaker 1: some way and not in an in love at all. 371 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,440 Speaker 2: The things that he did to me, that some things 372 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,359 Speaker 2: I can't disclose. I can't find love for a person 373 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:34,679 Speaker 2: like that. 374 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:38,600 Speaker 1: And I hear, I mean, I agree, I'm not disagreeing 375 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:38,960 Speaker 1: with that. 376 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 2: I just but I will always help if needed, and 377 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:48,280 Speaker 2: whatever I think. Caring about him maybe and not loving him. 378 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 2: It's it's just the thing that we would do like 379 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 2: I would always be I always be there, you know, 380 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,480 Speaker 2: out of respect that he's the father of my children, 381 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,280 Speaker 2: of two of my children, you know. 382 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:01,840 Speaker 1: And maybe you truly don't and I'm not just but 383 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,560 Speaker 1: I do see your side, you. 384 00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,200 Speaker 2: Know what I mean, Because when you said that, I'm like, well, 385 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 2: I don't feel that way, you know, but I but 386 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 2: I also love your point of view on it, because 387 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 2: of course I would be there for them if you 388 00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,719 Speaker 2: needed me. Is that love? I don't know. 389 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a you know, a good that's a really 390 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:17,639 Speaker 1: good question. 391 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,840 Speaker 2: It's something that I can. I can. But I also 392 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 2: then go to the flip side of well, how I 393 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:25,119 Speaker 2: know that they they're are in their own stuff or whatever, 394 00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:27,720 Speaker 2: and that's why they do X, Y and Z. But 395 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,680 Speaker 2: can you still care without the love? Because that's where 396 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:32,440 Speaker 2: I think I'd be at. 397 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,280 Speaker 1: Can you still care without the love? And probably? Yeah? 398 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,560 Speaker 3: I think I have compassion, yeah, but I don't have love. 399 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,480 Speaker 3: That's yeah, empathy, Yeah, that's fair. 400 00:18:42,640 --> 00:18:44,439 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I don't want anything bad to happen to 401 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,920 Speaker 2: that partly the same I actually I like his I 402 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,439 Speaker 2: would like to be like we are friends, but there 403 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,120 Speaker 2: is no love. Either's care and friendship but no love. 404 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:55,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that your friends. 405 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,320 Speaker 2: Of course, I love my friends, do Ukramer tell. 406 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:02,560 Speaker 1: Us, well, the other side of it, but friends. 407 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,680 Speaker 2: But no, we would not be friends if we didn't 408 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:05,120 Speaker 2: share kids. 409 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:10,119 Speaker 1: Well, that's true. That that I can agree with. You 410 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: definitely would not. 411 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, so that is a forced friendship. Yeah, for sure, 412 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 2: like you don't have a choice. I expect incline to 413 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,920 Speaker 2: him absolutely because of the kids. But if not, if 414 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,040 Speaker 2: we didn't have kids, I would never look Oh, I 415 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 2: would never look in his direction ever. 416 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 1: Again, I definitely believe that that's a good topic though. 417 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 2: I like that. I would like to say that it's 418 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 2: I have care and compassionate without the love, and I 419 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:43,520 Speaker 2: don't think that the love will always be there. But 420 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 2: I can definitely see your point of view on your side, 421 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,080 Speaker 2: and I appreciate you bringing. 422 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,040 Speaker 1: That up, especially me because I'm usually the heartless one. 423 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:53,000 Speaker 3: Meanwhile, the care beer is like maybe the caremera is 424 00:19:53,000 --> 00:20:00,200 Speaker 3: on her beard. Next note, I just really moved him along, didn't. 425 00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:15,200 Speaker 2: Before we move into wine about it? Is there anything 426 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:20,160 Speaker 2: you guys want to say? I have life updates? No, yeah, okay, 427 00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:26,520 Speaker 2: moving on to next I love good narration. Guys, I 428 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 2: am struggling. Oh no, I feel like this is all 429 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,600 Speaker 2: like my stuff. Sometimes it was all me. 430 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,720 Speaker 1: So let's go. 431 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,160 Speaker 3: I forget though that we are recording and I really 432 00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,720 Speaker 3: mean that, Like I said that to Janna when I 433 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:41,000 Speaker 3: got here. 434 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 2: I was like, okay, Like. 435 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 1: I just really got me. I was like, oh man, 436 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 1: did I really say all that. Well, we do talk 437 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,120 Speaker 1: like this and we this is us. 438 00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:48,920 Speaker 2: This is us. 439 00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 3: I had a moment where I was like, I got 440 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:52,639 Speaker 3: to read some time. Put it in the back of 441 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,119 Speaker 3: my mind. 442 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,760 Speaker 1: I know that's okay, tell us time. 443 00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is so period. Cry come over there, and 444 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 2: I feel like it's remember when I did that first 445 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 2: episode post baby and I was doing like that was 446 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 2: the worst decision of my life because I was crying 447 00:21:08,119 --> 00:21:11,280 Speaker 2: over a butcher Box ad. But this one is like, yes, 448 00:21:11,359 --> 00:21:16,840 Speaker 2: it's period. But I also, I had therapy yesterday and 449 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 2: I was just telling her. I was like, I can't 450 00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,480 Speaker 2: get my mind to like shut off, and there's so 451 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,600 Speaker 2: many things that are you know, sometimes when you're you 452 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:25,560 Speaker 2: have so much kind of like circulating in your brain 453 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,520 Speaker 2: that your brain almost hurts, you know, And then Alan's like, hey, 454 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:30,680 Speaker 2: you just you know, are you good? Like you just 455 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,520 Speaker 2: seem a little distant. I'm like, yeah, I was like, 456 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 2: I just I couldn't filter through all the different kind 457 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,440 Speaker 2: of thoughts running through my brain. And so we sat 458 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,040 Speaker 2: in therapy and we we went through She's like, all right, well, 459 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 2: let's do it now, you know, and so I just 460 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:48,239 Speaker 2: kind of started going down the list and it's it 461 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:51,199 Speaker 2: all led to the feeling of just alone. Right, So 462 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm alone in dealing with a lot 463 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:58,040 Speaker 2: of these issues, and so you know, the first part 464 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,240 Speaker 2: of it was and it's really around the kids too, 465 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:03,280 Speaker 2: and so this I feel like, I'm just like I 466 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,280 Speaker 2: need to just like wrap this in a bow. But 467 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 2: like first and foremost, and this is why I called 468 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:14,640 Speaker 2: you yesterday because so we are so behind on vaccinations, 469 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,359 Speaker 2: like so so so behind, and we've only done too 470 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 2: and when I've been kind of delaying this appointment because 471 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 2: I knew the doctor was going to make me do 472 00:22:26,200 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 2: a vaccination or we would have to leave the clinic 473 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:33,760 Speaker 2: essentially since we're so behind. And the last time that 474 00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:38,200 Speaker 2: we went in, I essentially got blamed for him having 475 00:22:38,240 --> 00:22:40,879 Speaker 2: ear infections because I didn't vaccinate him, and I didn't 476 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 2: like how that felt because when you google it, it 477 00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 2: says that you know, children who are not vaccinated it 478 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:51,840 Speaker 2: could cause more ear infections. But for some reason, there 479 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:54,720 Speaker 2: was something in me that just was like I was, 480 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:57,800 Speaker 2: I got turned off by that comment, and so it 481 00:22:57,840 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 2: didn't make me want to go back to that office 482 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,480 Speaker 2: because I'm like, you just blamed me for my child 483 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,240 Speaker 2: having an ear infection. So like I didn't like that. 484 00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:06,600 Speaker 2: I don't even know why I'm crying, but like it 485 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,760 Speaker 2: just made me feel like like a bad mom or something, 486 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:10,760 Speaker 2: and so I was like, Okay, So that just like 487 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 2: kind of like sat with me, and I've been delaying 488 00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,439 Speaker 2: the appointment, and I get so overwhelmed because I'm like, 489 00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 2: I know he needs so many vaccinations, but I'm also 490 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:22,320 Speaker 2: like there's I don't know if I trust them all, 491 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,919 Speaker 2: and like there's so many and it's like I just 492 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,880 Speaker 2: know so many stories. I'm I'm a firm believer that 493 00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:32,320 Speaker 2: Jolie's some of Jolie's issues were caused by a potential 494 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,639 Speaker 2: side effect from vaccines when she was a baby. So 495 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:37,520 Speaker 2: I've just been so I delayed with Jays and with Roman. 496 00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:40,359 Speaker 2: I'm just like there's so much out there that I'm like, 497 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,919 Speaker 2: I don't know what is, what I should give, what 498 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 2: I shouldn't give, And then it just makes me feel 499 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:48,479 Speaker 2: like frickin helpless because I'm like, we have a neighbor 500 00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:50,680 Speaker 2: that has a highly autistic son, and I'm not saying 501 00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,639 Speaker 2: I'm not saying vaccinations cause autism. I'm not. I'm like, 502 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:56,440 Speaker 2: but I also would like more science or we'd still 503 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,719 Speaker 2: be giving our kids cocaine and whatever. I saw this 504 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,720 Speaker 2: one thing, like what was it? And you know, yeah, 505 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 2: or in cough syrup. So I'm like, I believe in 506 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:08,040 Speaker 2: signs evolving and us you know, looking into that more. 507 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 2: And so it was just like having to like do 508 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 2: that call and then like not you know, not knowing 509 00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 2: what the right move on that is, and like just 510 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,159 Speaker 2: kind of feeling alone in that. And I know I 511 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 2: can bring Allan in on that, but he's also very 512 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:23,920 Speaker 2: much like whatever I think, right, So though he has 513 00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 2: he doesn't think that Romans should be getting all of 514 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:30,760 Speaker 2: those you know, he's so he's definitely there. So I 515 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 2: know I'm not alone, but the feeling makes me feel alone. 516 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 2: And then, like Julie got her official diagnosis of dyslexia, 517 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 2: Mike didn't show up to the meeting so I'm in 518 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 2: the meeting with all the teachers, the vice principal, and 519 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:47,280 Speaker 2: I'm like, again I feel alone. And I'm like, which is. 520 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,400 Speaker 3: A core belief that you and I have talked about 521 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 3: a lot, that we can't trust people, that they won't 522 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 3: show up for us, that we have to do it alone. Yeah, 523 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,760 Speaker 3: And so I was like, so so these things hissed, 524 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,640 Speaker 3: Like I hearing all this stuff about my like where 525 00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,600 Speaker 3: is my other king person? And I knew like I 526 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,679 Speaker 3: got I got a home and I just cried and 527 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,440 Speaker 3: I was like what, Like he didn't show up and 528 00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:10,200 Speaker 3: I'm like he must have forgot, like, and so I 529 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,919 Speaker 3: was so upset because it's like all this information and 530 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,760 Speaker 3: then again I somehow feel at fault, which I know 531 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,439 Speaker 3: is not my fault, but like all this stuff has 532 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,720 Speaker 3: been like thrown be guys, I'm so sorry. 533 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,120 Speaker 2: I'm like crying. No, I don't want to be sorry. 534 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:24,040 Speaker 3: I feel like everything you're saying is so valid, and 535 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 3: I promise you there's people listening that feel every single 536 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:28,200 Speaker 3: bit of this. 537 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:31,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, and so like and he's like, oh my god, 538 00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:32,399 Speaker 2: I would have come and I'm like, I know you. 539 00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:34,320 Speaker 2: So again I know I'm not alone in it but 540 00:25:34,359 --> 00:25:36,919 Speaker 2: like we like take on so much of it, like 541 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,159 Speaker 2: to ourselves that and then on top of it work 542 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 2: and just life and it's just so it's all these things. 543 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,480 Speaker 2: I'm like, what do I do here? And Okay, so 544 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:46,120 Speaker 2: now she's just like, so okay, we gotta get ip 545 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,959 Speaker 2: and then she'll do you have to do this all 546 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,199 Speaker 2: a bat and all these things. I'm like, I just 547 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,280 Speaker 2: feel alone. I know I'm not alone. I know there's people, 548 00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:54,879 Speaker 2: I know, I have you guys, all that stuff, but 549 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:58,120 Speaker 2: it's just that is where my season is this month, 550 00:25:58,119 --> 00:26:00,680 Speaker 2: and it's hard. So that's it. That's my white about it. 551 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,719 Speaker 3: If I guys, we just keep keep tabling my boobs 552 00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:05,480 Speaker 3: for a whine about it. 553 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,159 Speaker 2: It's gonna wait for the time. 554 00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:11,000 Speaker 3: But I feel like I'm one week. This was literally 555 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:12,760 Speaker 3: me like maybe a week and a half ago. Do 556 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 3: you remember me saying to you I just wanted to 557 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:16,920 Speaker 3: be alone in my house? 558 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:17,440 Speaker 2: Yeah? 559 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,679 Speaker 3: And it was, which is you know, contradictory because I'm like. 560 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 2: I feel that's what Aby said. She goes, what do 561 00:26:23,359 --> 00:26:24,400 Speaker 2: you need it right now? I was like, I think 562 00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:26,439 Speaker 2: I just really want to be alone, which is interesting 563 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 2: because I'm alone. I know that. I'm like Alan's what 564 00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:30,760 Speaker 2: do you do? I'm like, I need to be alone 565 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,080 Speaker 2: because I have to just process all of this sort 566 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:34,320 Speaker 2: it by myself for a minute. 567 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:38,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, well it does feel noisy, and I think, guys, 568 00:26:38,520 --> 00:26:41,000 Speaker 3: we all know this. Everybody listening knows this too. It's 569 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:45,639 Speaker 3: like social media information news networks. Can you trust this 570 00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 3: news network? Is this network coming from this place point 571 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:54,040 Speaker 3: of view? Like there's just no raw educational information is 572 00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,359 Speaker 3: how it feels to me sometimes. So then I feel 573 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,560 Speaker 3: overwhelmed because I feel like I want to make an 574 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 3: educated choice and I want to learn, But where do 575 00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:03,800 Speaker 3: I learn? And is that person teaching me through a 576 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 3: lens of this with their own agenda? 577 00:27:05,680 --> 00:27:05,879 Speaker 2: You know? 578 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,919 Speaker 3: So that gets wild. And I also feel like the 579 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:13,520 Speaker 3: world is noisy right now. I mean the year started crazy. 580 00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,800 Speaker 3: We all know and love people in Los Angeles, right 581 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:19,320 Speaker 3: We wrapped up a year with a hurricane getting flooding 582 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,880 Speaker 3: places where we know and love people, so like it's 583 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,920 Speaker 3: a hard time for impaths anyways, and then you had 584 00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,639 Speaker 3: the mom layer in the vaccination layer, and the baby layer, 585 00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:32,879 Speaker 3: an ex husband layer, and it does feel overwhelming, Like 586 00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,800 Speaker 3: I feel like everything you're saying, I'm like, i'd cry too. 587 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,439 Speaker 3: Actually was just ten days ago, crying about it. 588 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:39,680 Speaker 2: I called you. I said, I feel overwhelmed. 589 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 1: It is very common for moms to feel like all 590 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:47,160 Speaker 1: the decisions fall on them and that they're alone. Whether 591 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: you have the most involved husband in the world or not, 592 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: you have that added layer of an ex husband not 593 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,879 Speaker 1: showing up, and then a husband she's like, well, I 594 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,840 Speaker 1: would be there, but you really probably just want her 595 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,200 Speaker 1: to be there, you know, And so that's a whole 596 00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:06,400 Speaker 1: other level. But I feel like everyone listening, most moms 597 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:11,320 Speaker 1: can just they feel that, like, my decisions might not 598 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,879 Speaker 1: be as big as yours right now, but like we're 599 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,639 Speaker 1: ultimately making most of the decisions for our children, and 600 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,639 Speaker 1: that is overwhelming. I mean that is no matter what 601 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:23,120 Speaker 1: the decision is, that's overwhelming. So I'm sorry that you're 602 00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:25,879 Speaker 1: having to deal with some of these really bigger decisions 603 00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 1: that are heavy. Like yeah, like the dads will help 604 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:32,960 Speaker 1: make those decisions, but are they educating themselves? Where do 605 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:33,880 Speaker 1: we get educated? 606 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:34,080 Speaker 2: You know? 607 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,640 Speaker 1: I mean it's overwhelming, and I don't have any answers 608 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,920 Speaker 1: for that, because that's just a hard I mean, we 609 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: just dealt with it with a vaccine, you know. I 610 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 1: thought we were kind of out of that. But now 611 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,200 Speaker 1: when the kids are older, now there's a vaccine that 612 00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:47,719 Speaker 1: we have to make a decision about that I've been 613 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:50,280 Speaker 1: putting off for years, you know, making a decision. But 614 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,800 Speaker 1: those things are hard because then you also get you know, 615 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 1: you can get ripped apart for your feelings on those things, 616 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: and that's hard too. To me. That's an added layer. 617 00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,640 Speaker 2: I also encourage you to find a different pediatrician. I've tried. 618 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 2: I'm on every weight list. I'm literally called three and 619 00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 2: I'm on three weight lists. And again it's not I'm 620 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,160 Speaker 2: not against it. I understanding there are outbreaks, there are 621 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 2: things that need to be for other people. I'm I 622 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 2: just there's just so many and what is needed right now? 623 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,000 Speaker 2: And how do we space this out where I just 624 00:29:20,080 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 2: need to understand it more? 625 00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,200 Speaker 1: You need someone who can walk you through this is 626 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:26,960 Speaker 1: what we have left? Yeah, and how are we going 627 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 1: to knowing that this, this and this are important to you? 628 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,840 Speaker 1: Knowing you're not sure how you feel about this one, 629 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:33,120 Speaker 1: here's a plan. 630 00:29:33,320 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 2: Well, And so I called the doctor because this is 631 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,040 Speaker 2: hard because I've been with this one doctor since Jolly 632 00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 2: was a baby. And so I called and I'm you 633 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 2: know this is after therapy, and so I'm obviously upset 634 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,000 Speaker 2: and crying, and you know, she's basically like, if you don't, 635 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 2: you're going to have to leave the office because you're 636 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,200 Speaker 2: at the point now where you know, it's been this 637 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 2: long and he needs so many And I was like, well, 638 00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 2: I can't see her again, and I'm because I just 639 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 2: feel like just the pressure and like throat closing and 640 00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:00,320 Speaker 2: all that. So can you find me a d friend 641 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:04,560 Speaker 2: doctor in the office that can just have a little 642 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 2: bit more compassion around me having a difficult time? When's 643 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 2: the appointment next week? And I'm gonna be alone in 644 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:12,719 Speaker 2: the appointment because he's not gonna be you know, he's 645 00:30:12,760 --> 00:30:14,480 Speaker 2: not gonna be here. So it's just like it's there's 646 00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,440 Speaker 2: just and I don't know what I'm but I'm gonna 647 00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:19,440 Speaker 2: have to do something or pick one, you know what 648 00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,440 Speaker 2: I mean, like a Rouletta vaccines, Which one is that safe. 649 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 1: Thing to give? Yeah, you need to ask, And I 650 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,520 Speaker 1: will say, let's talk offline about who you're seeing. We 651 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:30,280 Speaker 1: see two different people in the practice, and I definitely 652 00:30:30,320 --> 00:30:32,360 Speaker 1: have felt that way more about her than the other. 653 00:30:32,720 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So I'd also like to go to the appointment. Yeah, 654 00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 2: I would like to honestly, like, I would like to 655 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 2: not be alone in that one. 656 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:39,720 Speaker 1: Yeah. 657 00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. It's just like there's just so 658 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:44,880 Speaker 2: much stuff, like you want to make the right decisions, 659 00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 2: you know what I mean. Like, and again I'm not 660 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:50,080 Speaker 2: saying certain things one hundred percent caused certain things with Jolie, 661 00:30:50,120 --> 00:30:52,400 Speaker 2: but there are many things that if you go back 662 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 2: to she didn't crawl, she didn't talk until she was 663 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,320 Speaker 2: almost like four, you know, and a lot of those 664 00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 2: and then now she's dyslexi. Like when you look into 665 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 2: these things, they could have been from her fifteen month vaccination, 666 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 2: So it could have maybe who knows, I don't know. 667 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 2: It might min not have. 668 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:08,360 Speaker 3: An important piece though, is that someone is just willing 669 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 3: to hear you out. 670 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,240 Speaker 2: It definitely need to be so definite. 671 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:15,040 Speaker 3: I think I have been on this like little diary 672 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:17,400 Speaker 3: journey of things I'm passionate about. One of the things 673 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,600 Speaker 3: I am is safety of children, but also safety of mothers. 674 00:31:20,680 --> 00:31:23,840 Speaker 3: And I feel like safety of mothers I'm really passionate 675 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:28,479 Speaker 3: about the most because it is a very hard and 676 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:33,080 Speaker 3: very layered and very beautiful job. But anybody pushing us, 677 00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:35,400 Speaker 3: I have no tolerance for But my whole point is 678 00:31:35,440 --> 00:31:36,760 Speaker 3: if that doctor was st look at you and say, 679 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 3: I can tell this is a lot for you, and 680 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:40,840 Speaker 3: I just want to lay out this is our options. 681 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 3: This is just a different conversation. And listen, I'm not 682 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 3: even saying that's a bad pediatrician, just not the one 683 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:47,080 Speaker 3: for you. 684 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:47,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, Like I. 685 00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,800 Speaker 3: Go, there's a practice I'm involved in on the nonprofit side, 686 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,280 Speaker 3: and I love these women, and there is one woman 687 00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 3: that I'm like, you are a tremendous, brilliant doctor, but 688 00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 3: I don't want to be your patient because you're tough 689 00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:58,320 Speaker 3: love and I don't need that. 690 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 1: And to know, not just other side, but to note 691 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: there are a lot of offices are that way, like 692 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 1: if you don't vaccinate or if you're not on the schedule, 693 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,000 Speaker 1: then you cannot be at the practice. And it's hard 694 00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,120 Speaker 1: and overwhelming to find the ones that will work with 695 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: you a little bit more. And you do not go 696 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:20,360 Speaker 1: by that. So I feel for that piece of it 697 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:22,640 Speaker 1: because it's hard, it's overwhelming. It's like, I mean, I've 698 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:24,480 Speaker 1: wanted to leave before, but I'm like, I don't know 699 00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:26,880 Speaker 1: where to go or what to do, and it's it's hard. 700 00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:28,520 Speaker 1: But I think at the end of the day, if 701 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:32,520 Speaker 1: everyone could have grace for moms because we're all just 702 00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:35,800 Speaker 1: trying to do what we feel like is best for 703 00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,760 Speaker 1: our children. Yeah, and these are disagreements I've gotten in 704 00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,200 Speaker 1: on so many different things, but at the end of 705 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 1: the day, you can assume that every mother's trying to 706 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,160 Speaker 1: do what's best for their own kid, and that might 707 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 1: look different for everybody. 708 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,640 Speaker 2: And there's just a lot on the mother's plate, like 709 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,080 Speaker 2: doing so much and then adding in on the flip 710 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,560 Speaker 2: side of like work and then four months two Yeah, 711 00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,560 Speaker 2: you know. Anyways, that's my wind about it. Ladies, Are 712 00:32:59,560 --> 00:33:00,720 Speaker 2: we moving on hot topic? 713 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:01,840 Speaker 1: Yes, let's move on. 714 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,880 Speaker 2: Okay. We had Whitney from Secret Lives of Mormon Wives on. 715 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 2: We also had Macy on. Did you guys see that 716 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 2: Jen Affleck is pregnant with her third Yes. I got 717 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 2: to say I was shocked. I was happy, but shocked, 718 00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,280 Speaker 2: like I thought they were getting divorced. That's from the 719 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,360 Speaker 2: news that I because I've kind of stayed away from, 720 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 2: you know, which obviously I would hate to see a 721 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,840 Speaker 2: divorce announcement, you know, but I was I was kind 722 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,360 Speaker 2: of shocked to see it, but happy, but shocked me. 723 00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:32,680 Speaker 2: It doesn't. There's a lot of few clients happening. 724 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I had heard at some point 725 00:33:35,280 --> 00:33:37,200 Speaker 1: or something that because didn't they move away, one of 726 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,920 Speaker 1: them told us that they like moved away to like 727 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:42,600 Speaker 1: work on things or whatever. So that doesn't surprise me 728 00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:49,160 Speaker 1: having said that, some gracious assumption here. I feel like 729 00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 1: there is a lot that all of the girls have 730 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 1: said that their stories were not fully shown on season one, 731 00:33:56,160 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: so I want to hold space for all of them 732 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,920 Speaker 1: and their chance to tell more of their story. I 733 00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:04,840 Speaker 1: don't think that excuses any behaviors. I don't think that 734 00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:10,600 Speaker 1: that you know, yeah, I did too. I did too. However, 735 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:16,600 Speaker 1: I would like to make my not not judgment. I 736 00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:19,160 Speaker 1: want to see more of their story. I want to 737 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:21,360 Speaker 1: see they keep alluding to there's a lot more to 738 00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,759 Speaker 1: their story. There's this. I would like to see that 739 00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:27,960 Speaker 1: first and see kind of you know what that is about. Again, 740 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,280 Speaker 1: it was hard to watch. There was a lot there, 741 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:32,920 Speaker 1: But I'd be curious to see what they show in 742 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,879 Speaker 1: season two to as she kind of puts, it, will 743 00:34:35,960 --> 00:34:38,120 Speaker 1: kind of explain some of the behaviors. 744 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,439 Speaker 3: But reality TV is always hard for me, I think 745 00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:43,120 Speaker 3: because I did only one show, but I just saw 746 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:46,960 Speaker 3: so much. It's like they can literally do anything they 747 00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:49,120 Speaker 3: want to your character, even when you think you're being 748 00:34:49,160 --> 00:34:52,520 Speaker 3: crisp and clean and clear. If they have an agenda 749 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 3: and a storyline for your character, they can pretty much 750 00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:56,200 Speaker 3: accomplish it. 751 00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:59,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, especially if you're scary to think that it's scary, 752 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:02,120 Speaker 1: you know, it's not always you know, what we're saying 753 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,600 Speaker 1: is not. Maybe, I don't know. It's hard to believe 754 00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:10,839 Speaker 1: that he didn't have those controlling behaviors when but also yes, 755 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:14,000 Speaker 1: it can be manipulated and add to us a certain. 756 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:16,759 Speaker 3: Way too, Yeah, because if you compile all those two 757 00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,040 Speaker 3: into one, it's like whoa why No exactly? 758 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,960 Speaker 1: Yeah? Great? And I really felt for her on that 759 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:22,720 Speaker 1: show though. 760 00:35:22,680 --> 00:35:25,160 Speaker 2: I love her so I wanted to just be like 761 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,600 Speaker 2: it almost was like a mirror too. I wanted to 762 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,640 Speaker 2: really don't have a voice, you know. 763 00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:34,560 Speaker 1: But then that overwhelming feeling of all your friends loving 764 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,400 Speaker 1: you but wanting you, you know, like wake up? Do 765 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:38,440 Speaker 1: you know you need to? 766 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:38,839 Speaker 2: Oh? 767 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,880 Speaker 1: And her just breaking down. It was hard to watch. 768 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:43,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, from experience for. 769 00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:47,719 Speaker 1: Yes, I'm happy for them though if they're happy, and yeah, 770 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:48,800 Speaker 1: baby's always a blessing. 771 00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:53,000 Speaker 2: Same well, Catherine. This news is for you, honey. Kevin 772 00:35:53,040 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 2: Costner wants to meet someone related news. How's your marriage? 773 00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:08,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's awful. I feel like he'd be fine with it. 774 00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:09,680 Speaker 2: Nick or Kevin. 775 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,239 Speaker 1: No, it was kind of Costner. He'd be like, Okay, 776 00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:14,640 Speaker 1: I'm getting. 777 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:19,760 Speaker 2: Could you date a seventy year old thirty years older 778 00:36:19,760 --> 00:36:21,880 Speaker 2: than you? Not a no, right, Kevin Costner? 779 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, but like in general, just like the seventy year 780 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:30,880 Speaker 1: old down the street. Probably not right right, But I 781 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,799 Speaker 1: can promise you if Kevin Costner asked me on a date, 782 00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:34,399 Speaker 1: I'd be there. 783 00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:36,359 Speaker 2: Why do I love this? 784 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,160 Speaker 3: Like my face hurts from smiling because I just don't 785 00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,400 Speaker 3: get to see the side of you that often. 786 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 1: I know, and I don't have many like at all. 787 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,319 Speaker 1: Like before, I don't know. I couldn't have even come 788 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,000 Speaker 1: up with someone that I'm like, oh, yeah, he's my 789 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:49,160 Speaker 1: I love him. 790 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,040 Speaker 2: What is it about Kevin that just gets you? Is 791 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:56,320 Speaker 2: it the Body of the Guard read Cheeks. 792 00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:58,360 Speaker 1: Bodyguard's my favorite movie? 793 00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 2: And like, oh, you know what I love that movie 794 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:03,399 Speaker 2: is because you can tell he loves her, like he 795 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 2: cared so deeply. I remember watching the funeral and you 796 00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:09,279 Speaker 2: know his speech that he loved her and he will 797 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:13,640 Speaker 2: always love her. He doesn't matter. I mean this is 798 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:15,000 Speaker 2: a full circle moment. 799 00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:18,560 Speaker 1: Where our life. But like he really loved her, but 800 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:22,520 Speaker 1: also like his position of power and like I just 801 00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:25,200 Speaker 1: I absolutely loved that movie and in my life, in 802 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,640 Speaker 1: my mind, that's kind of Coosner. It probably isn't you know, 803 00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,200 Speaker 1: Like he's probably more Yellowstone than he is. 804 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,359 Speaker 2: Well, let's still position a power ish that it is? 805 00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:37,000 Speaker 1: Yes, which would either one, just so we're clear, Yellowstone 806 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:37,879 Speaker 1: or Bodyguard? 807 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:41,720 Speaker 2: Would you be okay if Nick had this love affair 808 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:42,320 Speaker 2: for someone? 809 00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:47,120 Speaker 1: Absolutely? Yeah, absolutely a seventy year old woman is the actress? 810 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:48,000 Speaker 2: Can come on? 811 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,360 Speaker 3: Is that only because we know Kevin Costner is looking 812 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,080 Speaker 3: for someone to date that you're now okay with Nick 813 00:37:54,719 --> 00:37:55,480 Speaker 3: feeling this way? 814 00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:58,160 Speaker 1: If there was someone like that and like he said 815 00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:01,240 Speaker 1: these things that wouldn't bother me in the app solute least, okay, 816 00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,200 Speaker 1: I'd be like, if you can score that, babe. 817 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,960 Speaker 3: Like on way, Kramer, do you have like I hate 818 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,080 Speaker 3: this term. I freaking hate it. 819 00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:12,160 Speaker 2: I just do. 820 00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 3: And I don't even like the word hate. And I'm 821 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:15,839 Speaker 3: using that. The whole past thing just wears me out. 822 00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:18,440 Speaker 3: But do you ann but. 823 00:38:18,480 --> 00:38:22,719 Speaker 2: Yeah for me, No, not anymore unless did want to 824 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,359 Speaker 2: dress up, you know, only if he wants to dress 825 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:30,440 Speaker 2: up into his his Uh what are those the gosh? 826 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:34,959 Speaker 2: Oh my god, how could I forget that? No, No, 827 00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:40,439 Speaker 2: it's it's his. Oh my gosh, it's what biker people wear. God, 828 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,280 Speaker 2: people are probably screaming this while they're listening. 829 00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:42,839 Speaker 1: I can't think. 830 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:49,840 Speaker 2: Try why are something his his? Someone come into the 831 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:53,520 Speaker 2: producer chat Google what is it called? It's like the 832 00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,880 Speaker 2: what Jax puts on. It's like his his Oh my gosh. 833 00:38:58,040 --> 00:38:59,399 Speaker 1: Anyways, he's wearing that. 834 00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,240 Speaker 2: So who Charlie or Kevin? 835 00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:06,400 Speaker 3: You guys the only one putting Alan back in the 836 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:07,960 Speaker 3: mix over keep talking? 837 00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:11,319 Speaker 2: But no, there's no like I love a character, but 838 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:15,240 Speaker 2: I don't have someone that's like, oh I I would 839 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,080 Speaker 2: want to go on a date with him or whatever. Yeah, 840 00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:23,120 Speaker 2: I don't know. I literally married like my like Hollywood 841 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:28,800 Speaker 2: dude dream and okay, he does look Hollywood. 842 00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:29,880 Speaker 1: He does for dapper. 843 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,000 Speaker 2: He's dapper. Yeah, he wears a card again, I mean 844 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,920 Speaker 2: that classifies him. And he's cut the cut. It's called 845 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:38,319 Speaker 2: the cut. It's their coat. Never there, but yeah, it's 846 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:40,399 Speaker 2: called their cut. For your own loop. 847 00:39:43,239 --> 00:39:44,200 Speaker 1: Yeah what about you. 848 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:45,520 Speaker 2: I don't have one. 849 00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,520 Speaker 1: I used to not y'all. I don't know, but. 850 00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,640 Speaker 2: He wants to meet someone after divorce, and I love that. 851 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:55,680 Speaker 2: Back to the headline, is I just I would he 852 00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:58,200 Speaker 2: needs his own show. I'm trying to think who would? Who? 853 00:39:58,239 --> 00:40:00,520 Speaker 2: We can? So I did text Pam. I sent the 854 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,320 Speaker 2: link to her when I saw this in the run, 855 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:05,480 Speaker 2: and she's like, hook it up. Have your publicist call. 856 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:08,240 Speaker 3: I have a flying comment about that, because I believe 857 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:09,960 Speaker 3: that Pam was not interested in oldermen. 858 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:12,280 Speaker 2: Truth again, Kevin Costner. 859 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:18,800 Speaker 1: Exactly, I'm not interested in olderman I'm married. But come on, guys, 860 00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,440 Speaker 1: we're just dreaming here going to point out that's. 861 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,880 Speaker 2: Specifically great about Nick. I just feel like, if you listened. 862 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:28,239 Speaker 1: Baggy not be offended at least the ever likelihood of 863 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:30,600 Speaker 1: me ever going on a date with Kevin Costner. 864 00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:35,080 Speaker 2: Did you see though, that his his ex wife has 865 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:35,480 Speaker 2: moved on? 866 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:39,640 Speaker 1: Yes, I saw that, but also she's engaged. 867 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. She became a longtime friend and neighbor of the 868 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:47,799 Speaker 2: former couple, which I just think the neighbors. You just 869 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:51,680 Speaker 2: can't get too close to neighbors and friends. I just sugar, 870 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:53,759 Speaker 2: did she scandal? 871 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,440 Speaker 1: Wait though? Which I was kind of really wondering what 872 00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:01,520 Speaker 1: about the whole whatever it was, the Jennifer the Jay thing. Oh, 873 00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,400 Speaker 1: I don't know, they were like together somewhere. 874 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:07,239 Speaker 2: Jennifer Aniston too. I heard a poor Jennifer Anderson has 875 00:41:07,239 --> 00:41:13,920 Speaker 2: been hooked up to there. Like I'm just like, just like, 876 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:29,720 Speaker 2: can she just be left alone? I love this One's 877 00:41:29,760 --> 00:41:32,360 Speaker 2: interesting this next headline, and I immediately thought of you 878 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:36,080 Speaker 2: Kitty cat. Uh. Nick and Vanessa Lahay explain they schedule 879 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:39,719 Speaker 2: a weekly sex day hump Day, hump dayDay. 880 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,120 Speaker 1: It's on hump Day on Wednesday. 881 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. Uh, we've talked about this obviously on the podcast before, 882 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:48,239 Speaker 2: where you and Nick would schedule. Do I still schedule now? 883 00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:48,680 Speaker 2: You lost? 884 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,520 Speaker 1: I didn't love it. You hated that, But I think 885 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,000 Speaker 1: for who I mean, I think a lot of people do, 886 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,600 Speaker 1: and I think that like a lot of people recommend it. 887 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,400 Speaker 1: I think it's you know, good for some people. 888 00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,560 Speaker 2: For me, it doesn't work because I feel like it 889 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:03,560 Speaker 2: puts too much pressure. Yeah, that's why I wouldn't like it. Yeah, 890 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:06,960 Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, that's why I don't even like doing 891 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,920 Speaker 2: it at night sometimes because it feels if we haven't 892 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:12,799 Speaker 2: done it in a while or that week. Then the 893 00:42:12,840 --> 00:42:15,319 Speaker 2: pressure it's like, Okay, he's going to want to do 894 00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,239 Speaker 2: it tonight, and then I have pressure, and then it 895 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:21,440 Speaker 2: takes away from the sexiness and the yeah, the whole 896 00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:23,720 Speaker 2: vibe behind it. So sometimes I just liked to spruce 897 00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:25,279 Speaker 2: in a little afternoon one, you know what I mean, 898 00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:29,040 Speaker 2: We'll make sure before we come in the door. I'm 899 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:30,520 Speaker 2: just saying, I don't know. For me, that just is 900 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,120 Speaker 2: like pressure. But I also get it. There's they're so busy, 901 00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,240 Speaker 2: they have so much going on that if you don't 902 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,600 Speaker 2: then it could be weeks and then you then you 903 00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:39,720 Speaker 2: lose that connection. I think that connection is important. 904 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:41,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, I've heard of a lot of I feel like 905 00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,280 Speaker 1: I just heard someone else. I can't think another celebrity 906 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,759 Speaker 1: saying recently that they did and it worked great for them, 907 00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:48,120 Speaker 1: But I can't remember who it was at this point. 908 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,839 Speaker 1: So I could definitely see what those kinds of schedules too, 909 00:42:50,840 --> 00:42:52,200 Speaker 1: how it could be beneficial. 910 00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,319 Speaker 3: I actually was going to bring this to the chat 911 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,359 Speaker 3: today and then it came into the group chat and 912 00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:58,239 Speaker 3: I was like, well that was perfect because I was 913 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:01,840 Speaker 3: I do have a friend who schedules and they rotate, 914 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:05,919 Speaker 3: so not only they schedule but then it is husband's. 915 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,960 Speaker 2: Job too, don't tie grammar. 916 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:14,040 Speaker 3: It's husband's job to initiate and set the tone, I guess, 917 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,160 Speaker 3: and then the next week it's her job to do that. 918 00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:19,200 Speaker 3: That's cool, Yeah, very business appropriate. 919 00:43:19,200 --> 00:43:20,960 Speaker 2: That's cool school. That sounds like a good plan. 920 00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,880 Speaker 3: And then it came into a different group chat no 921 00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:26,279 Speaker 3: one on this panel the other day of like, how 922 00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:28,560 Speaker 3: often are married couples having sex? So I was going 923 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,880 Speaker 3: to bring it to the table, how often do you 924 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:31,160 Speaker 3: have sex? 925 00:43:31,239 --> 00:43:31,479 Speaker 2: Kaby? 926 00:43:32,640 --> 00:43:34,120 Speaker 1: I won't talk about this with on. 927 00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:36,480 Speaker 2: I get blushy. 928 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:39,879 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I got teenagers at home. I'm gonna watch 929 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:42,919 Speaker 1: what I say about We had a really in depth 930 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,839 Speaker 1: conversation the other day, me and my teenagers too, So 931 00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,400 Speaker 1: I don't I have decided to keep those things. 932 00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:55,080 Speaker 2: That feels fair. Yeah, often we're often like how many 933 00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:55,600 Speaker 2: times a week? 934 00:43:56,480 --> 00:43:56,760 Speaker 1: Guys? 935 00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,040 Speaker 2: I get so blushy? Why do I get so blushy? 936 00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:01,839 Speaker 3: And you brought this I know, I just wondered because 937 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,560 Speaker 3: I'm like, well, and there has been times where it 938 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:07,200 Speaker 3: isn't like this. But then I think over the last 939 00:44:07,239 --> 00:44:11,080 Speaker 3: couple of years, we've kind of like really gotten honest 940 00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:14,600 Speaker 3: about how much it's important to us both of us. 941 00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:17,160 Speaker 3: So I think, now we're just really busy. There you go, 942 00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:22,600 Speaker 3: but he's not like every day if he's home, Yeah, 943 00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:23,279 Speaker 3: pretty much. 944 00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:25,600 Speaker 2: There you go. It's a healthy sex life. Well it's 945 00:44:25,600 --> 00:44:29,839 Speaker 2: not because's gone to do it for ninety years if 946 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:31,640 Speaker 2: you care the one on that math problem. 947 00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:32,680 Speaker 1: And things start to get a little scarce. 948 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,960 Speaker 3: I don't know, I feel like, yeah, I just wondered 949 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:37,200 Speaker 3: because I I don't know. I also have a couple 950 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:40,600 Speaker 3: friends that have gone like weeks, and I can feel 951 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,759 Speaker 3: the detachment just with Preston and I pretty quickly if 952 00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:46,640 Speaker 3: it's been too long. Like we're just good at it. 953 00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:49,000 Speaker 3: We're good at each other. We just like it just 954 00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:51,520 Speaker 3: is like it's cozy and it's just good. Like I 955 00:44:51,600 --> 00:44:53,799 Speaker 3: just you know, just how do. 956 00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,319 Speaker 2: You feel more mindful about it now? Because that like 957 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:58,759 Speaker 2: what do you have talked about it previously? 958 00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:02,759 Speaker 1: Like yeah, well and like talking about it, is that true? 959 00:45:02,800 --> 00:45:06,200 Speaker 2: Well because it wasn't as much or whatever? And so 960 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:11,400 Speaker 2: do you feel the pressure not to be, not to 961 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,920 Speaker 2: do or to not do like the pressure? 962 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:18,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I just here's my thing. I am. I 963 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,799 Speaker 1: probably should have said this offline after having conversations with 964 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:25,880 Speaker 1: my son and daughter whose teenagers watch some of our 965 00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:29,000 Speaker 1: stuff and some people listen that is embarrassing to them 966 00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:31,480 Speaker 1: for me to talk about it. Okay, So I'm just 967 00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:36,560 Speaker 1: refraining from talking about their parents' sex life because they 968 00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:39,719 Speaker 1: have kids that will go on and listen and take 969 00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:41,880 Speaker 1: stuff back to them. So interesting. 970 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:43,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got little spies. 971 00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:47,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I like. So I have told them that I 972 00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:50,680 Speaker 1: will know everything we talk about stuff, and we had 973 00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:53,040 Speaker 1: like a very in depth conversation the other day. But 974 00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:56,040 Speaker 1: it gets a little bit for them, like, hey, mom, 975 00:45:56,120 --> 00:45:58,640 Speaker 1: like if you know, like I told Emmy that I 976 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,440 Speaker 1: said on here that she had started her period. That 977 00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,799 Speaker 1: didn't bother her, you know. So I'm trying to be 978 00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:07,560 Speaker 1: more mindful. Having said that, what I will say is 979 00:46:07,880 --> 00:46:10,520 Speaker 1: the pressure isn't as bad, but it will always be 980 00:46:10,560 --> 00:46:12,719 Speaker 1: there for me, sure for sure. 981 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, that will always It's not the thing that is 982 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:16,799 Speaker 2: loved the most, you know what I mean, Like it's 983 00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:21,000 Speaker 2: not yeah, Cramer, you yeah, I mean as often as 984 00:46:21,040 --> 00:46:22,640 Speaker 2: we can really at least. 985 00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:24,080 Speaker 3: I always feel like you two would be like a 986 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:27,040 Speaker 3: very say three to four times a week hot couple. 987 00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:28,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 988 00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:34,319 Speaker 3: Yeah, in the afternoon, I'd say like three to four yeah, yeah, 989 00:46:34,400 --> 00:46:37,280 Speaker 3: I mean I think that's more than healthy. From my study, 990 00:46:37,360 --> 00:46:39,759 Speaker 3: I'm starting to understand it's pretty it's like a once 991 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,399 Speaker 3: a weekish for most married couples. 992 00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,000 Speaker 2: And whatever works for everyone at home, that's right exactly, 993 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:49,320 Speaker 2: but they're happier, I feel like sometimes. 994 00:46:48,840 --> 00:46:51,319 Speaker 3: I think also, I just felt a little liberated that 995 00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:53,000 Speaker 3: I finally got to stay out loud, like I really 996 00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:54,759 Speaker 3: like to, you know, like of course I like to 997 00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:56,920 Speaker 3: do that, but I would just I don't know. I 998 00:46:57,239 --> 00:46:59,719 Speaker 3: guess it changed so dramatically when I was like yeah 999 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,040 Speaker 3: all the time and he was like, what, Like I 1000 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,360 Speaker 3: cause I probably wasn't. I'm not like a big sexy 1001 00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:06,279 Speaker 3: girl vibe, you know, I don't put the off the 1002 00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:10,719 Speaker 3: excess sexual sexual energy, so I'm sure. And we had 1003 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:13,240 Speaker 3: like a moment too where he's used to women pursuing 1004 00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,480 Speaker 3: him that has been you know, artist's life, and I 1005 00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,560 Speaker 3: that is just not who I am to be that 1006 00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,719 Speaker 3: forward now that he's my husband and knowing that, you 1007 00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:25,280 Speaker 3: know whatever, but I don't. I would never. I don't 1008 00:47:25,640 --> 00:47:28,400 Speaker 3: go chasing, you know, that's a that was like a 1009 00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:31,560 Speaker 3: I don't start or initiate. Mostly, I think that in 1010 00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:34,640 Speaker 3: my brain is always defaulted to the mail, so I 1011 00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,640 Speaker 3: I don't know, it's just like kind of cool to figure. 1012 00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:38,239 Speaker 2: That out about each other and talk about it. Yeah. 1013 00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,799 Speaker 2: I think for me, it's like, it's really nice to 1014 00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:44,360 Speaker 2: have someone that wants to actually sleep with me and 1015 00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:49,719 Speaker 2: only me. Yeah, and like so it is refreshing. Well, no, 1016 00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:51,759 Speaker 2: it's just like he's you know, I'd never like Mike, 1017 00:47:51,840 --> 00:47:53,840 Speaker 2: never wanted to sleep with me, you know. So it 1018 00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,120 Speaker 2: was so nice to have someone that actually were on 1019 00:47:56,160 --> 00:47:59,680 Speaker 2: the same page. And that's that's nice to feel on 1020 00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:00,640 Speaker 2: the same page about that. 1021 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:02,120 Speaker 1: Absolutely. 1022 00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:05,520 Speaker 2: So we got a letter from a wind Down listener, 1023 00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,320 Speaker 2: What up Melissa? So she needs advice on whether or 1024 00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,399 Speaker 2: not this is her thing. I need advice on whether 1025 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:13,640 Speaker 2: or not I should try to remain friends with a 1026 00:48:13,640 --> 00:48:16,480 Speaker 2: friend who was my closest friend until I had my 1027 00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:19,640 Speaker 2: first son. Since my first son was born, she has 1028 00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:22,360 Speaker 2: not been there for me in ways I wish she was. 1029 00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:24,239 Speaker 2: She's a great person with a good heart, but has 1030 00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:25,879 Speaker 2: not shown up for me in the ways I wish 1031 00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:28,239 Speaker 2: she could have. We had to talk about it, but 1032 00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:30,839 Speaker 2: after my second child, things felt like they went back 1033 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:32,960 Speaker 2: to the same way, barely speaking, and my kids don't 1034 00:48:33,000 --> 00:48:35,279 Speaker 2: know her. It's sad and I'm torn on whether or 1035 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,600 Speaker 2: not to try to make this friendship work or to 1036 00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:38,120 Speaker 2: let it go. 1037 00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:42,040 Speaker 1: And the other friend does not have kids, that she 1038 00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,200 Speaker 1: did not say I'm going to guess that might be 1039 00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:44,600 Speaker 1: the case. 1040 00:48:44,640 --> 00:48:47,000 Speaker 2: I'm kind of guessing that's the case too, which I 1041 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,600 Speaker 2: think it's hard for people that don't. I think it 1042 00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:54,000 Speaker 2: goes both ways. It's I have well, I mean, I 1043 00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:56,879 Speaker 2: have friends that I have a friend a couple friends 1044 00:48:56,920 --> 00:48:59,319 Speaker 2: that don't have kids, and our friendship is definitely not 1045 00:48:59,360 --> 00:49:02,920 Speaker 2: as strong as the ones with my friends that have kids, 1046 00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:08,719 Speaker 2: because there's a I can under I relate more to 1047 00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,680 Speaker 2: my friends that have the kids versus not, and there's 1048 00:49:12,719 --> 00:49:16,279 Speaker 2: I'll always have love for my other friends, but there 1049 00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:18,759 Speaker 2: is more of a bond with my friends with kids. 1050 00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:21,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a friend that I grew up with 1051 00:49:21,400 --> 00:49:23,960 Speaker 1: i'd consider one of my best friends that we hardly 1052 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:27,280 Speaker 1: ever see each other, and I know she's single, doesn't 1053 00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:31,759 Speaker 1: have kids, and I know there's some resentment there on 1054 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,560 Speaker 1: towards me. But what's hard for me is like, just 1055 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,560 Speaker 1: because I have kids and have the busier schedule, why 1056 00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:41,080 Speaker 1: does it have to fall on me to make it happen? 1057 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,600 Speaker 1: And That's where I've kind of got resentment back because 1058 00:49:44,600 --> 00:49:46,680 Speaker 1: I'm like, but you could just as well call me 1059 00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:48,879 Speaker 1: and say and I have said that, and it's like, well, 1060 00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:50,359 Speaker 1: you're the one with the busy schedule, you're the one 1061 00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:52,240 Speaker 1: with the kids. I'm like, but you're still not asking either, 1062 00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:56,239 Speaker 1: so we both haven't made the effort, you know. And 1063 00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:58,720 Speaker 1: so but that's hard. It's hard when they don't have kids, 1064 00:49:58,760 --> 00:49:59,720 Speaker 1: you know for sure. 1065 00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:01,560 Speaker 2: That's a really good point though. 1066 00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's you know, and I took that 1067 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,600 Speaker 1: on for a while, like, oh, I'm being a bad friend. 1068 00:50:06,680 --> 00:50:07,960 Speaker 1: I should do this, I should do that, And I'm like, 1069 00:50:07,960 --> 00:50:12,319 Speaker 1: wait a minute, but like, you haven't asked either, are faulty. Yeah, 1070 00:50:12,640 --> 00:50:15,080 Speaker 1: So it goes, It goes both ways. But it's hard 1071 00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:19,040 Speaker 1: to say whether she should. I think it's whatever feels 1072 00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,920 Speaker 1: right to her, because you know, if you have expectations 1073 00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:24,759 Speaker 1: and they're not being met, then that's never going to 1074 00:50:24,920 --> 00:50:28,560 Speaker 1: fully work. I think if you can have no expectations 1075 00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:30,759 Speaker 1: or like, I have a friend I have no expectations 1076 00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:32,560 Speaker 1: of and I love her dearly may not see her, 1077 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,640 Speaker 1: but I just don't have those expectations. 1078 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,239 Speaker 2: So I mean the rest of her advice on that 1079 00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:38,640 Speaker 2: one will be I don't feel like you have to 1080 00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:41,080 Speaker 2: make a decision whether to cut the person out or not. Yeah, 1081 00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,879 Speaker 2: unless she did something to hurt you or sure, vice versa. 1082 00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:45,680 Speaker 2: But I don't think. I think you can always hold 1083 00:50:45,680 --> 00:50:49,080 Speaker 2: friendships close, even if they're far away. Yeah, I think 1084 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:51,319 Speaker 2: as long as you say that it matters to you 1085 00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,440 Speaker 2: and that you wish they were part of your life more, 1086 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,520 Speaker 2: because I think a lot of times in life, marriage, friendships, everything, 1087 00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,400 Speaker 2: we just don't maybe communicate what we need or what 1088 00:50:58,440 --> 00:51:01,719 Speaker 2: we want so clear, and then we get sad when 1089 00:51:01,719 --> 00:51:04,560 Speaker 2: someone's not like showing up the way we would prefer it. 1090 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:06,680 Speaker 2: So as long as you can say wish you were 1091 00:51:06,680 --> 00:51:08,480 Speaker 2: with them more, I wish we were together more, and 1092 00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:10,839 Speaker 2: then just let it fall how it's supposed to fall. 1093 00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:13,920 Speaker 3: I lost one of my best friends pregnant with Legend, 1094 00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,640 Speaker 3: and it was because I didn't share that I was 1095 00:51:16,680 --> 00:51:18,960 Speaker 3: pregnant with him. I couldn't travel out of the country 1096 00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,520 Speaker 3: to go to the wedding, and there was just no 1097 00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:25,719 Speaker 3: understanding at all, and I was really sad and I 1098 00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:27,480 Speaker 3: carried it like it was my fault. And then I 1099 00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:28,759 Speaker 3: had this moment one day where I'm like, well, she 1100 00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:32,680 Speaker 3: hasn't checked on me either, yeah, you know, and I 1101 00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:35,800 Speaker 3: will say that person came with a lot of extra 1102 00:51:35,840 --> 00:51:38,360 Speaker 3: things I didn't really realize until God sorted out the pieces. 1103 00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:42,200 Speaker 3: So I think sometimes it's okay to like things dissolve 1104 00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:44,160 Speaker 3: or just be or change shape. 1105 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:46,080 Speaker 1: Well, and kind of wrapping it up to what we 1106 00:51:46,080 --> 00:51:49,040 Speaker 1: were saying earlier, motherhood can be lonely too, So I 1107 00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:53,000 Speaker 1: think a lot of times these single friends of ours 1108 00:51:53,280 --> 00:51:55,239 Speaker 1: feel like maybe that they're a little bit alone. And 1109 00:51:55,239 --> 00:51:57,480 Speaker 1: then we go get a family and then we have kids. 1110 00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:59,719 Speaker 1: But motherhood can be lonely too, and like you can 1111 00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:03,120 Speaker 1: still I'll want for those relationships, you know. I think 1112 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,560 Speaker 1: it's important for people to understand that too. 1113 00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:07,799 Speaker 3: And to be reminded of those pieces of you, Like 1114 00:52:07,920 --> 00:52:10,960 Speaker 3: I know, in motherhood, it was fun to be reminded 1115 00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:14,120 Speaker 3: by the people that knew me before I was a mom. Yeah, 1116 00:52:14,160 --> 00:52:17,120 Speaker 3: all the fun smart things about me really specifically, Yeah, 1117 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:17,560 Speaker 3: for sure. 1118 00:52:17,680 --> 00:52:20,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. And as my therapist to Amy said yesterday, you 1119 00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:22,839 Speaker 2: don't always have to fix everything, Like you can sit 1120 00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:24,920 Speaker 2: in your bad day. You can sit in the feeling 1121 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,400 Speaker 2: of this doesn't feel good and like that's okay, Like 1122 00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:31,600 Speaker 2: you don't always have to fix the problem. You can 1123 00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,600 Speaker 2: just sit in it for the day and then we 1124 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:36,200 Speaker 2: don't sit in it up forever, you know what I mean. 1125 00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:37,680 Speaker 2: But we're always how do we have to fix that 1126 00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:40,000 Speaker 2: and the better? And I'm just sitting there. Okay, maybe 1127 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:43,120 Speaker 2: we're just having a bad month or a bad whatever, like, yeah, 1128 00:52:43,120 --> 00:52:44,080 Speaker 2: it's okay sitting in it. 1129 00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:45,520 Speaker 1: Yeah I like that. 1130 00:52:46,080 --> 00:52:49,239 Speaker 2: Well, sorry for the tears, ladies. My boobs live to 1131 00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:53,239 Speaker 2: see another wind. Okay, I'm pinning it for the next time. 1132 00:52:53,200 --> 00:52:55,120 Speaker 2: I'd like to pin it up. If that's a choice, 1133 00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:57,680 Speaker 2: that's a really good one, because I actually have something 1134 00:52:57,719 --> 00:53:01,640 Speaker 2: that I might pin out. Oh, and this is where 1135 00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:06,200 Speaker 2: we say goodbye.