WEBVTT - These American Lies

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to Comedy Central. Lying it's as American as

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<v Speaker 1>apple pie or getting in a fist fight over a

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<v Speaker 1>chicken sandwich. And it's especially American now that the President's

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<v Speaker 1>is a ninja level liah. Donald Trump lies so often

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<v Speaker 1>that even his biggest lies can get lost in the

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<v Speaker 1>free This is these American lies. Have you ever told

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<v Speaker 1>a lie? Let's admit it. We all have. Just this morning,

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<v Speaker 1>I was talking to the doorman and my co op

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<v Speaker 1>and he said, Michael, do you know my name? And

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<v Speaker 1>I said, of course, I know your name. Don't be silly.

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<v Speaker 1>In reality, I have no idea what my doorman's name is.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's something Italian like Credenza or Gabba gool.

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<v Speaker 1>So I lied to him. Today's show is about lies.

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<v Speaker 1>People lie about all sorts of things. They lie about

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<v Speaker 1>their age, they lie about their way, they lie about

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<v Speaker 1>their whereabouts the night their neighbor's charcoal grill went missing.

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<v Speaker 1>But some people lie more often than others. One of

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<v Speaker 1>those people is the President, and we're gonna look at

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<v Speaker 1>one of his biggest whoppers. The three to five million

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<v Speaker 1>people voted illegally in the two thousand sixteen election. From

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<v Speaker 1>w TDS in New York. I'm Michael Costa and Credenza.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're listening, I apologize for not knowing your name, buddy.

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to The Daily Show presents These American Lies.

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<v Speaker 1>Part one? What's three to five million illegal voters? Among friends?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm here with producer Desi Lyric Desi. It's been a while.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw you on Saturday. You crashed your car into

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<v Speaker 1>my mailbox. So you're here to talk about the voter

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<v Speaker 1>fraud lie? Right? The lie this week is that three

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<v Speaker 1>to five million people voted illegally in the election. Wait,

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<v Speaker 1>what do people know about at this No, it's a lie.

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<v Speaker 1>Cost overrun these American lies. Yeah yeah, sure, Okay, so

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<v Speaker 1>the voter fraud lie is still important today. Republicans use

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<v Speaker 1>fears of voter fraud to restrict voting. We've seen it

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<v Speaker 1>in swing states like Georgia, Virginia, and Wisconsin, where two

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<v Speaker 1>hundred thousand people were recently purged from the voter rolls

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<v Speaker 1>by a circuit judge. And to understand this lie, you

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<v Speaker 1>really have to know about this guy, Donald Trump. Donald

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<v Speaker 1>Trump has lived a pretty incredible life. He's been a

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<v Speaker 1>real estate developer, a mail order stake salesman, a two

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<v Speaker 1>time Emmy loser, and in twos sixteen he became the

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<v Speaker 1>president of the United States. It is now official Donald

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<v Speaker 1>Trump has won the electoral College. Now, most people would

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<v Speaker 1>be happy to win the presidency, but for Trump, winning

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't enough. Donald Trump won with three hundred and six

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<v Speaker 1>electoral votes, even though Hillary Clinton got nearly two and

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<v Speaker 1>a half million more popular votes. See. Trump won the

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<v Speaker 1>electoral college, but he lost the popular vote. So it's

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<v Speaker 1>like he won the lottery, but only because he stole

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<v Speaker 1>the winning ticket from a seven eleven cashier. No, not

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<v Speaker 1>at all. Tell me more about that. Trump won the

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<v Speaker 1>election even though he got almost three million fewer votes

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<v Speaker 1>than Hillary Clinton. And you gotta understand Donald Trump has

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<v Speaker 1>a fragile ego. At his Comedy Central roast in two

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<v Speaker 1>thousand eleven, he told the comedians who were roasting him,

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<v Speaker 1>there was one thing they couldn't make fun of. Do

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<v Speaker 1>you know what? That was his enormous ass, his wealth.

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<v Speaker 1>He's got thin skin, especially when it comes to having

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<v Speaker 1>less than others. So rather than admit he won fewer

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<v Speaker 1>votes than Hillary Clinton, Trump did what came natural to him.

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<v Speaker 1>He told members of Congress that maybe three to five

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<v Speaker 1>million people voted illegally in the most recent presidential election.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a claim the president repeated during his first official

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<v Speaker 1>White House meeting with congressional leaders, telling them he lost

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<v Speaker 1>the popular vote to Hillary Clinton only because millions of

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<v Speaker 1>illegal aulets were cast, the same claim he made on

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<v Speaker 1>Twitter after his win, saying I won the popular vote

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<v Speaker 1>if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally.

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<v Speaker 1>I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions

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<v Speaker 1>of people who voted illegally. It's a stunning claim, right.

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<v Speaker 1>It's kind of like saying I wanted scrabble, but only

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<v Speaker 1>because I kicked my opponent in the crotch. And I

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<v Speaker 1>can do the rest of the story myself. If you

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<v Speaker 1>just want to take off, great, I'm gonna go. Mike

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<v Speaker 1>wave a taco. Every lie starts somewhere, and this American

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<v Speaker 1>lie was born in one of the birthplaces of American democracy, Massachusetts. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I got a number I don't like. The state flower

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<v Speaker 1>is a Duncan Donuts coffee bean, and the state song

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<v Speaker 1>is an Irish guy puking outside of baseball stadium. And

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<v Speaker 1>now this state has another claim to fame. A professor

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<v Speaker 1>whose work inadvertently ignited the voter fraud controversy. Brian shafter

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<v Speaker 1>when the academics behind the study told CNN Trump is

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<v Speaker 1>misinterpreting the study, calling Trump's claims absurd and not even plausible.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Brian Schaffner. This is Brian Schaffner. I'm a professor

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<v Speaker 1>of political science at Toughs University. He's a professor of

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<v Speaker 1>political science at Toughs University. Why are you repeating everything

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<v Speaker 1>I say? Schaffner is a smart guy, even if he

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't know how podcasts work. I'm a principal investigator for

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<v Speaker 1>the Cooperative Congressional Election Study, which is a data set

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<v Speaker 1>that has caused all these problems. Every election year, Schaffner's

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<v Speaker 1>group surveys Internet users about their political views. The survey

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't specifically ask about voter fraud, and yet there's a

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<v Speaker 1>question included in the survey that's not really meant to

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<v Speaker 1>look for noncitizens, but there's response Opts in the response

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<v Speaker 1>can select that would identify them as non citizens, and

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<v Speaker 1>that essentially led to this big controversy. There were over

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<v Speaker 1>thirty responds to the survey in two thousand eight, and

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<v Speaker 1>among that group, they're a little over three hundred who

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<v Speaker 1>identified themselves as non citizens when they responded to this

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<v Speaker 1>those supposed non citizens claimed avoted. So we've got this

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<v Speaker 1>Internet survey taken in two thousand eight. Now flash forward

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<v Speaker 1>from two thousand eights that Senator Barack Obama of Illinois

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<v Speaker 1>will be the next president of the United States. He

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<v Speaker 1>defeat to two thousand fourteen year old Jeremy Meechs, also

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<v Speaker 1>known as the hot felon, because that's when this data

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<v Speaker 1>set evolves from a curiosity to a flaming political hot potato.

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<v Speaker 1>This episode of These American Lies is brought to you

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<v Speaker 1>by warby Snarker. Do you find it difficult to come

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<v Speaker 1>you find clever and incisive. Whether you're at a dinner

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<v Speaker 1>party where everyone supports Elizabeth Warren or you're discussing the

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<v Speaker 1>infinite jest, worry snarker, don't leave your brown stone without it. Hi, everyone,

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<v Speaker 1>we're back with part two. A rough lie, and I

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<v Speaker 1>just wanted to say for anyone listening at home, the

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<v Speaker 1>next part of our podcast contains severe profanity and extreme

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<v Speaker 1>graphic descriptions of sex X what. No, it doesn't. If

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<v Speaker 1>you're listening with your children, you better turn it off

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<v Speaker 1>unless you want those kids to grow up fast. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>just ignore him. Okay. So it's two thousand fourteen. Jesse Richmond,

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<v Speaker 1>a researcher at Old Dominion University or o d U,

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<v Speaker 1>comes across the survey. Richmond takes the responses to that

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<v Speaker 1>final question about being a citizen and extrapolates that anywhere

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<v Speaker 1>between thirty eight thousand and two point eight million non

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<v Speaker 1>citizens voted in two thousand eight. There's only one problem

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<v Speaker 1>with Jesse Richmond's conclusion. Jesse rich and has been dead

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<v Speaker 1>for fifty years. Uh No. Here's Brian Shaffner revisiting his

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<v Speaker 1>two thousand eight survey that became the basis for Richmond's work.

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<v Speaker 1>We did a study where we actually recontacted the people

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<v Speaker 1>who had claimed to be non citizens, and a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of them when we asked the same question again, changed

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<v Speaker 1>their answer, and among the people who actually claimed to

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<v Speaker 1>be non citizens both times we asked, none of them

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<v Speaker 1>were voters. None of them. Brian Shaffner had renounced his

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<v Speaker 1>own findings, but by this time it's too late. Right

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<v Speaker 1>wing media members are using the O d U survey

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<v Speaker 1>to claim that voter fraud is an enormous problem, even

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<v Speaker 1>though it's based on one studies interpretation of a flawed

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<v Speaker 1>data set. So I guess des just one question remains right,

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<v Speaker 1>How did this lie get to Trump? Oh? I was

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<v Speaker 1>going to ask, is fifteen minutes in the microwave too

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<v Speaker 1>long for a single taco? But that's good to your

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<v Speaker 1>Your questions, good one. So it turns out Trump may

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<v Speaker 1>have been turned onto voter fraud in his natural Habitat

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<v Speaker 1>a golf course. Five days after Trump's inauguration, he hosted

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<v Speaker 1>dinner for Republicans and Democrats. He tells his guests that

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<v Speaker 1>he would have won the popular vote if it hadn't

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<v Speaker 1>been for the three to five million illegal votes. So,

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<v Speaker 1>according to The New York Times, a Democrat at the

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<v Speaker 1>dinner asked Trump, where are you getting this information? And

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<v Speaker 1>Trump cites a guy named Bernard Longer. Oh I loved

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<v Speaker 1>him and dos boot. Bernard Longer as a German professional golfer.

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<v Speaker 1>He won the Masters twice. You smile after a miss,

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<v Speaker 1>but you can if you're Bernard Longer and my Master's

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<v Speaker 1>champion of nineteen. He's now sixty years old. So apparently

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<v Speaker 1>Trump went golfing with Longer sometime between Election Day sixteen

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<v Speaker 1>and this dinner on January seventeen, and on the golf course,

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<v Speaker 1>Longer told Trump about his experience. On election Day in Florida,

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<v Speaker 1>Longer went to vote and he was told that he

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't eligible too, because he's been dead for fifty years,

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<v Speaker 1>because he's German and not a US citizen. But Longer

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<v Speaker 1>looked at other voters in line, who he said, looked

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<v Speaker 1>as if they should not be allowed to vote because

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<v Speaker 1>they've been dead for fifty No one's been dead for

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<v Speaker 1>fifty years. No one. Boris Karloff has been dead for

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<v Speaker 1>fifty years. He died February second, nineteen complications from pneumonia.

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<v Speaker 1>Boris Karloff has been dead for so Trump's got this

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<v Speaker 1>idea in his head from Longer. People are illegally voting

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<v Speaker 1>because this German golfer told him so, and he's upset

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<v Speaker 1>that he didn't win more votes than Hillary. So instead

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<v Speaker 1>of investigating this claim, instead of checking with any election officials,

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<v Speaker 1>he just starts saying in public millions of illegal votes.

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<v Speaker 1>That is something that is extremely fundamental to our functioning democracy,

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<v Speaker 1>affair and free election. You say you're going to launch

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<v Speaker 1>an investigation. What you have presented so far has been debunked.

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<v Speaker 1>It's been called false. Look at the report. I called

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<v Speaker 1>the author of the Pew report last night and he

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<v Speaker 1>told me that they found no evidence. He said, no,

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<v Speaker 1>then why did he write the report? That Pew report

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<v Speaker 1>He was mentioning, he was probably confusing it with the

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<v Speaker 1>study from Old Dominion, which leap frogged off the survey

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<v Speaker 1>from Brian Shaffner, which remember, has been debunked, which remember

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't really matter because now this lie has been supercharged.

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<v Speaker 1>He continues to make this assertion that there were somewhere

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<v Speaker 1>between three and five million voters that voted illegally in

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<v Speaker 1>the last election. If he's got his spokespeople lying citing

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<v Speaker 1>the survey. As I said, I think the president has

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<v Speaker 1>believed that for a while, based on studies, information he

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<v Speaker 1>has about voters about wire tapping, his repeated lies about

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<v Speaker 1>those issues. He doesn't, he doesn't think he's lying about

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<v Speaker 1>those issues, and you know it, and of course his

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<v Speaker 1>friends at Fox News repeat the life back to him.

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<v Speaker 1>President Trump continues to claim that anywhere from three to

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<v Speaker 1>i'd really and undocumented immigrants across the country voted, costing

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<v Speaker 1>him the popular vote. A lot of people think and

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<v Speaker 1>remember about the President's comment about three to five million

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<v Speaker 1>votes he illegal in this country. All this because of

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<v Speaker 1>something that happened on the internet in two thousand eight.

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<v Speaker 1>That's like a scandal breaking today because the President thought

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<v Speaker 1>a Chuck Norris fact was real. Deesse, I just want

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<v Speaker 1>to break in here and warn our listeners. The next

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<v Speaker 1>section of the podcast contains several slurs about the Irish

0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.680
<v Speaker 1>and audio taken from a hardcore pornographic film from Japan.

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<v Speaker 1>What script are you reading from? Anyway? Donald Trump doesn't

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<v Speaker 1>just let this lie go. Oh No. In May two

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<v Speaker 1>thousand seventeen, he does this. Donald Trump just signed an

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<v Speaker 1>executive order creating a Commission on Election Integrity to investigate

0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:47.320
<v Speaker 1>alleged voter fraud. Vice President Mike Pennce and Kansas Secretary

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<v Speaker 1>of State Chris Kobak will chair it. That's right. This

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<v Speaker 1>lie created jobs. Real people kissed their kids goodbye in

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<v Speaker 1>the morning and went to work in service of this line.

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<v Speaker 1>That's crazy, though, people were kissing their kids. But it

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<v Speaker 1>turns out this commission was a mistake because after a

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<v Speaker 1>year of work, the commission disbands. They couldn't find any

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<v Speaker 1>evidence of widespread voter fraud. He formed a commission to

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<v Speaker 1>investigate his lie. That's like lying to your friend about

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<v Speaker 1>how much you weigh and then insisting on stepping onto

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<v Speaker 1>a scale. Actually that, oh yeah, no, that is a

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<v Speaker 1>good metaphor, and then you step off the scale, kick

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<v Speaker 1>the guy in the crotch, steals wall. Nope, you lost

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<v Speaker 1>it again. Trump's Department of Justice was also investigating and

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<v Speaker 1>was able to find just nineteen illegal voters in North Carolina,

0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:39.280
<v Speaker 1>so three to five million illegal votes in the election.

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<v Speaker 1>That's just a lie, A lie with humble beginnings that

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<v Speaker 1>worked its way from an Internet survey to a Virginia university,

0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:51.360
<v Speaker 1>to a right wing website, to a German golfer to

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<v Speaker 1>the President of the United States. Dasylidic as a producer

0:13:56.679 --> 0:14:00.000
<v Speaker 1>at these American lies. She recently unfriended me on Facebook.

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<v Speaker 1>No hard feelings dazy. I'm Michael Costa. We'll be back

0:14:03.760 --> 0:14:07.120
<v Speaker 1>next week with more FIBs, falsehoods, and fabrications on the

0:14:07.200 --> 0:14:38.360
<v Speaker 1>Daily Show Presents These American Lies. This has been a

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<v Speaker 1>Comedy Central podcast