1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:19,155 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Donald 2 00:00:19,235 --> 00:00:22,755 Speaker 1: Trump has been indicted on seven charges, and the foremost 3 00:00:22,795 --> 00:00:26,115 Speaker 1: of them is clearly a violation of the Espionage Act, 4 00:00:26,475 --> 00:00:30,075 Speaker 1: specifically one designed to send to prison for up to 5 00:00:30,195 --> 00:00:36,595 Speaker 1: ten years someone who was legally allowed to possess unclassified 6 00:00:36,715 --> 00:00:40,835 Speaker 1: national defense information, but who refused to return that information 7 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:44,315 Speaker 1: in whatever form it took to the proper government authorities. 8 00:00:45,195 --> 00:00:48,555 Speaker 1: It is eighteen US Code seven nine to three D, 9 00:00:49,475 --> 00:00:53,635 Speaker 1: and it fits the allegations against Trump better than any 10 00:00:53,795 --> 00:00:59,435 Speaker 1: of his suits. It erases all his stated defenses and excuses, 11 00:00:59,555 --> 00:01:03,755 Speaker 1: like Trump's belief he owned a magic wand of declassification 12 00:01:04,195 --> 00:01:07,835 Speaker 1: and defense posited in just the last few days that 13 00:01:07,915 --> 00:01:09,955 Speaker 1: he was the president, so of course he had the 14 00:01:10,035 --> 00:01:15,035 Speaker 1: right to possess and keep all defense information. Eighteen US 15 00:01:15,115 --> 00:01:19,715 Speaker 1: Code seven nine to three D describes a crime involving 16 00:01:19,795 --> 00:01:24,555 Speaker 1: information that is not classified, which the defendant at some 17 00:01:24,715 --> 00:01:29,475 Speaker 1: point did have the right to possess, and it's still illegal. 18 00:01:30,035 --> 00:01:34,275 Speaker 1: Eighteen US Codes seven nine three D would seemingly box 19 00:01:34,435 --> 00:01:39,875 Speaker 1: Trump in without the possibility of escape. Trump's lawyer, James 20 00:01:39,875 --> 00:01:42,995 Speaker 1: Trusty told CNN last night he has not even seen 21 00:01:43,035 --> 00:01:47,315 Speaker 1: the actual indictment, but only had broad strokes painted to him, 22 00:01:47,635 --> 00:01:51,275 Speaker 1: and he mentioned the wilful retention part of the Espionage Act, 23 00:01:51,555 --> 00:01:54,995 Speaker 1: thus essentially confirming eighteen US Code seven nine three D. 24 00:01:55,435 --> 00:01:59,315 Speaker 1: He mentioned multiple charges about false statements about conspiracy, and 25 00:01:59,435 --> 00:02:07,635 Speaker 1: quote several obstruction based charges, including witness tampering to go 26 00:02:07,755 --> 00:02:11,795 Speaker 1: back to the beginning. At approximately seven pm Eastern daylight 27 00:02:11,875 --> 00:02:15,835 Speaker 1: time on Thursday, June eighth, twenty twenty three, his attorneys 28 00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:19,355 Speaker 1: were informed by the Department of Justice by phone, and 29 00:02:19,475 --> 00:02:22,715 Speaker 1: he was then informed by those attorneys that Trump had 30 00:02:22,755 --> 00:02:26,995 Speaker 1: been indicted in Miami on seven separate sealed counts of 31 00:02:27,075 --> 00:02:30,635 Speaker 1: criminal conduct, none of them yet formally revealed to the public, 32 00:02:30,915 --> 00:02:34,555 Speaker 1: but clearly pertaining to the classified and defense documents he 33 00:02:34,635 --> 00:02:37,555 Speaker 1: stole and kept in his home and his office at 34 00:02:37,595 --> 00:02:41,595 Speaker 1: marri Lago, and reportedly including charges of illegal retention of 35 00:02:41,715 --> 00:02:45,995 Speaker 1: national defense information, conspiracy to obstruct justice, false statements to 36 00:02:46,035 --> 00:02:51,555 Speaker 1: government investigators seven counts. For context, the usual number of 37 00:02:51,555 --> 00:02:58,275 Speaker 1: indictments for former presidents or current presidential candidates is approximately zero. 38 00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:02,475 Speaker 1: CBS News is reporting that for all of his bravado, 39 00:03:02,995 --> 00:03:06,035 Speaker 1: when that happened, Trump reacted to the indictments with anger 40 00:03:06,075 --> 00:03:09,395 Speaker 1: because Trump had quote people in his inner circle who 41 00:03:09,435 --> 00:03:13,755 Speaker 1: reassured him for months that it was very unlikely to happen. 42 00:03:14,955 --> 00:03:19,035 Speaker 1: The entire Miami grand jury process was apparently news to him, 43 00:03:19,035 --> 00:03:21,755 Speaker 1: and he really believed there was a chance that the 44 00:03:21,795 --> 00:03:26,035 Speaker 1: meeting between his attorneys Trustee and Rowley and Halligan with 45 00:03:26,235 --> 00:03:29,595 Speaker 1: Jack Smith, the special counsel on Monday might have turned 46 00:03:29,635 --> 00:03:34,395 Speaker 1: into some form of negotiation. CBS also reports Trump's team 47 00:03:34,515 --> 00:03:37,635 Speaker 1: now will move to dismiss and to try to question 48 00:03:37,835 --> 00:03:41,595 Speaker 1: Jack Smith or j Bratt of the Justice Department, the 49 00:03:41,675 --> 00:03:44,835 Speaker 1: latter over a casual remark he made to one witnesses 50 00:03:44,915 --> 00:03:49,035 Speaker 1: lawyers about the lawyer's application to become a judge, which 51 00:03:49,115 --> 00:03:51,275 Speaker 1: Trump's lawyers will now try to blow up into a 52 00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:54,435 Speaker 1: reason that Trump should walk on all of these charges 53 00:03:54,635 --> 00:03:59,435 Speaker 1: and all other charges, forever and ever and ever. Trump 54 00:03:59,555 --> 00:04:03,675 Speaker 1: is also reported shocked by the reported cooperation of his 55 00:04:03,755 --> 00:04:07,515 Speaker 1: former chief of staff, Mark Meadows, and CBS's Robert Costa 56 00:04:07,675 --> 00:04:11,835 Speaker 1: quotes a Trump ally as fuming, quote, why the f 57 00:04:12,035 --> 00:04:16,475 Speaker 1: has he been so quiet? Well? I can answer that 58 00:04:17,915 --> 00:04:21,275 Speaker 1: the specifics of what is the first federal indictment of 59 00:04:21,315 --> 00:04:25,795 Speaker 1: a former president only because Richard Nixon was preemptively pardoned 60 00:04:25,795 --> 00:04:29,395 Speaker 1: by the president who succeeded him, Gerald Ford are as 61 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:34,315 Speaker 1: of recording time entirely unofficial and just sourced. But the 62 00:04:34,355 --> 00:04:37,635 Speaker 1: centerpiece of all reporting is as it was phraised by 63 00:04:37,675 --> 00:04:43,275 Speaker 1: ABC News, quote willful retention of national defense information. If 64 00:04:43,315 --> 00:04:46,395 Speaker 1: that is the correct characterization, it would seem to be 65 00:04:46,915 --> 00:04:51,275 Speaker 1: exactly what the UK paper The Independent had reported on 66 00:04:51,355 --> 00:04:55,315 Speaker 1: Wednesday that Special Counsel Smith had made the deliberate decision 67 00:04:55,595 --> 00:05:01,035 Speaker 1: to prosecute Trump not for stealing or possessing classified information, 68 00:05:01,195 --> 00:05:04,995 Speaker 1: but to proceed instead under eighteen US Code seventy nine three. 69 00:05:05,515 --> 00:05:09,195 Speaker 1: As that newspapers Andrew Feinberg wrote, the use of section 70 00:05:09,395 --> 00:05:12,875 Speaker 1: seven nine three, which does not make reference to classified information, 71 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:17,275 Speaker 1: is understood to be a strategic decision by prosecutors that 72 00:05:17,355 --> 00:05:19,995 Speaker 1: has been made to short circuit mister Trump's ability to 73 00:05:20,035 --> 00:05:24,075 Speaker 1: claim that he used his authority as president to declassified 74 00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:28,715 Speaker 1: documents he removed from a White House on quote. Conviction 75 00:05:28,955 --> 00:05:33,035 Speaker 1: for violation of that Code seven nine to three gathering, transmitting, 76 00:05:33,195 --> 00:05:37,995 Speaker 1: or losing defense information carries a penalty of a fine 77 00:05:38,715 --> 00:05:41,235 Speaker 1: or of up to ten years in prison, or both, 78 00:05:42,035 --> 00:05:47,835 Speaker 1: since Paragraph D lists fourteen different kinds of defense information, 79 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:52,675 Speaker 1: fourteen different forms of defense information. Let me abridge the 80 00:05:52,715 --> 00:05:56,195 Speaker 1: code somewhat as I read it to you. Quote. Whoever, 81 00:05:56,555 --> 00:06:01,835 Speaker 1: lawfully having possession of access, to, control, over, or being 82 00:06:02,075 --> 00:06:05,955 Speaker 1: entrusted with any document, et cetera relating to the national 83 00:06:05,995 --> 00:06:10,835 Speaker 1: defense willfully retains the same and fails to deliver it 84 00:06:10,955 --> 00:06:14,635 Speaker 1: on demand to the officer or employee of the United 85 00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:18,315 Speaker 1: States entitled to receive it on quote is guilty of 86 00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:22,595 Speaker 1: violating that statute. That not only reads as if it 87 00:06:22,635 --> 00:06:26,595 Speaker 1: were written to describe exactly what Trump did with all 88 00:06:26,675 --> 00:06:30,315 Speaker 1: the documents, but as suggested previously, it denies Trump any 89 00:06:30,395 --> 00:06:34,155 Speaker 1: claim that he had declassified those materials, because the crime 90 00:06:34,195 --> 00:06:38,595 Speaker 1: does not depend on their being any classified materials. It 91 00:06:38,715 --> 00:06:43,515 Speaker 1: circumvents the entirety of Trump's declassification defense, and were he 92 00:06:43,595 --> 00:06:46,155 Speaker 1: now to try to defend himself by modifying it to 93 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:49,715 Speaker 1: claim that he had the right to possess the defense information, 94 00:06:49,995 --> 00:06:54,675 Speaker 1: that is also irrelevant the first clause of this magic 95 00:06:54,755 --> 00:06:58,915 Speaker 1: wand eighteen US Code seventy nine to three D. Whoever 96 00:06:59,555 --> 00:07:06,955 Speaker 1: lawfully having possession of defense information. Moreover, we may have 97 00:07:07,115 --> 00:07:10,995 Speaker 1: previously been given a preview of exactly what that defense 98 00:07:11,155 --> 00:07:14,515 Speaker 1: information is, or at least what one piece of that 99 00:07:14,555 --> 00:07:18,795 Speaker 1: defense information could be even if there are multiple allegations, 100 00:07:19,115 --> 00:07:22,155 Speaker 1: even if there is just one indictment for ten thousand 101 00:07:22,155 --> 00:07:26,275 Speaker 1: pieces of paper. On May thirty first, CNN reported that 102 00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:29,875 Speaker 1: Trump had been recorded by the ghostwriters for Mark Meadows 103 00:07:30,275 --> 00:07:35,355 Speaker 1: referring to seemingly holding in his hands, seemingly paraphrasing what 104 00:07:35,395 --> 00:07:38,155 Speaker 1: Trump said was a four page document from the Chairman 105 00:07:38,195 --> 00:07:41,235 Speaker 1: of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Mark Millie, which outlined 106 00:07:41,355 --> 00:07:45,155 Speaker 1: United States military plans for an attack on Iran. Trump 107 00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:47,955 Speaker 1: refers to the fact on the recording that he cannot 108 00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:51,435 Speaker 1: just show it to the writers because he can't unilaterally 109 00:07:51,515 --> 00:07:56,115 Speaker 1: declassify material. There was also subsequent reporting that the National 110 00:07:56,235 --> 00:08:00,635 Speaker 1: Archives asked for the return of a document matching Trump's 111 00:08:00,675 --> 00:08:04,475 Speaker 1: own description of the four page Milli Iran plan, but 112 00:08:05,675 --> 00:08:10,835 Speaker 1: Trump's lawyers could not find it, and by all accounts 113 00:08:11,595 --> 00:08:16,835 Speaker 1: did not and have not returned it. I referred to 114 00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:20,195 Speaker 1: this four page document on this podcast on that date 115 00:08:20,315 --> 00:08:25,275 Speaker 1: as the smoking gun. I think I'll stick with that reference. 116 00:08:26,235 --> 00:08:29,595 Speaker 1: Of course, any charge under eighteen US Code seventy nine 117 00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:32,595 Speaker 1: three D would be so broad, could be so broad 118 00:08:32,675 --> 00:08:36,115 Speaker 1: that it could contain almost any document Trump kept, or 119 00:08:36,155 --> 00:08:38,955 Speaker 1: all of them, or just the classified ones, or just 120 00:08:38,995 --> 00:08:41,715 Speaker 1: the unclassified ones, or just the ones he claimed had 121 00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:45,235 Speaker 1: been declassified. It doesn't matter if Trump actually had some 122 00:08:45,595 --> 00:08:49,795 Speaker 1: kind of magic wand it matters only that Jack Smith 123 00:08:50,235 --> 00:08:55,275 Speaker 1: has won. Now, we do not and probably will not, 124 00:08:55,555 --> 00:08:59,675 Speaker 1: have any kind of understanding of the math. Where do 125 00:08:59,835 --> 00:09:03,675 Speaker 1: seven counts come from when virtually all reporting creates three 126 00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:06,795 Speaker 1: column headings? Or the crimes of Donald Trump? Again to 127 00:09:06,875 --> 00:09:11,315 Speaker 1: quote ABC's reporting willful retention of national defense information? Well 128 00:09:11,315 --> 00:09:15,235 Speaker 1: we got that one clear, I hope, conspiracy scheme to 129 00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:21,915 Speaker 1: conceal and false statements and representations for the impeccable Ryan 130 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:26,435 Speaker 1: Goodman of Just Security. Scheme to conceal could easily be 131 00:09:26,555 --> 00:09:31,115 Speaker 1: eighteen US Code one zero zero one quote. Whoever, in 132 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:34,475 Speaker 1: any matter within the jurisdiction of the executive, legislative, or 133 00:09:34,555 --> 00:09:38,875 Speaker 1: judicial branch of the government, falsifies, conceals, or covers up 134 00:09:39,195 --> 00:09:43,115 Speaker 1: by any trick, scheme, or device, a material fact unquote 135 00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:47,475 Speaker 1: relevant to a prosecution that carries fines or prison up 136 00:09:47,515 --> 00:09:52,835 Speaker 1: to five years for doing that false statements. That's a 137 00:09:52,835 --> 00:09:55,675 Speaker 1: little less obvious, since there is no evidence that Trump 138 00:09:55,755 --> 00:10:01,595 Speaker 1: himself has made any statements to any official in this investigation, that, 139 00:10:01,875 --> 00:10:05,355 Speaker 1: after all, is the art of being Trump. You don't 140 00:10:05,395 --> 00:10:08,795 Speaker 1: go on the record that guy does. But the New 141 00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:12,715 Speaker 1: York Times observes Trump could still be guilty of violating 142 00:10:12,795 --> 00:10:17,995 Speaker 1: eighteen US Code two quote. Whoever commits an offense against 143 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:22,675 Speaker 1: the United States or aids of bets, councils, commands, induces, 144 00:10:22,795 --> 00:10:28,955 Speaker 1: or procures its commission is punishable as a principle. Slight 145 00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:32,155 Speaker 1: translation here, if you caused it to happen, it's the 146 00:10:32,195 --> 00:10:36,555 Speaker 1: same as you actually doing it yourself. To resume eighteen 147 00:10:36,675 --> 00:10:41,315 Speaker 1: US Code two, whoever willfully causes an act to be done, which, 148 00:10:41,355 --> 00:10:44,555 Speaker 1: if directly performed by him or another, would be an 149 00:10:44,555 --> 00:10:50,195 Speaker 1: offense against the United States is punishable as a principle. Well, 150 00:10:50,355 --> 00:10:53,435 Speaker 1: what on earth could that be that could easily be 151 00:10:53,595 --> 00:10:57,315 Speaker 1: making his own attorney, Evan Corcoran draw up that document 152 00:10:57,755 --> 00:11:00,195 Speaker 1: saying that a thorough search of Mari Lago had been 153 00:11:00,235 --> 00:11:04,595 Speaker 1: conducted and these thirty eight classified documents were all we found, 154 00:11:04,875 --> 00:11:08,075 Speaker 1: and here's Christina Bob's signature on it at the bottom, 155 00:11:08,595 --> 00:11:11,675 Speaker 1: When in fact, Trump himself had made sure that it 156 00:11:11,715 --> 00:11:14,795 Speaker 1: could not have been a thorough search because he moved 157 00:11:14,835 --> 00:11:17,595 Speaker 1: all the boxes back and forth, and he kept Corcoran 158 00:11:17,675 --> 00:11:20,915 Speaker 1: from searching anywhere but in the storage room. Or it 159 00:11:20,955 --> 00:11:23,315 Speaker 1: could be what I mentioned to you yesterday, this newly 160 00:11:23,355 --> 00:11:27,875 Speaker 1: reported fascination that prosecutors have with the original draft of 161 00:11:27,915 --> 00:11:32,075 Speaker 1: a January twenty twenty two statement that included a claim 162 00:11:32,155 --> 00:11:35,755 Speaker 1: that everything had been returned to the archives, then a 163 00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:39,315 Speaker 1: claim that was removed from the final statement on the 164 00:11:39,355 --> 00:11:44,395 Speaker 1: matter in January twenty twenty two. Again, this is all 165 00:11:44,595 --> 00:11:47,835 Speaker 1: just reading tea leaves, and we are reading tea leaves 166 00:11:47,835 --> 00:11:50,915 Speaker 1: because by Department of Justice Code of honor or God 167 00:11:50,995 --> 00:11:55,275 Speaker 1: knows what the indictment is sealed. That secrecy by the 168 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:59,955 Speaker 1: Special Council has left the entire publicity playing field clear 169 00:12:00,075 --> 00:12:03,355 Speaker 1: for Trump and every Republican under the sun to get 170 00:12:03,395 --> 00:12:06,315 Speaker 1: out their version of this write down to Trump, in 171 00:12:06,395 --> 00:12:10,355 Speaker 1: fact being the first to reveal his own indictment in 172 00:12:10,395 --> 00:12:14,115 Speaker 1: a social media post at seven twenty one pm Eastern quote, 173 00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:17,915 Speaker 1: the corrupt Biden administration has informed my attorneys that I 174 00:12:17,995 --> 00:12:21,755 Speaker 1: have been indicted seemingly over the boxes, et cetera, et cetera, 175 00:12:21,795 --> 00:12:25,435 Speaker 1: et cetera, followed by I have been summoned to appear 176 00:12:25,435 --> 00:12:29,155 Speaker 1: at the Federal Courthouse in Miami on Tuesday at three pm. 177 00:12:29,635 --> 00:12:34,515 Speaker 1: He did not add be there aloha. There followed an 178 00:12:34,555 --> 00:12:39,075 Speaker 1: avalanche of Banana Republic references and a blitz of fundraising emails, 179 00:12:39,195 --> 00:12:43,635 Speaker 1: and a promise from the unintentional parody presidential candidate Vivek 180 00:12:43,755 --> 00:12:48,875 Speaker 1: Ramaswami to pardon Trump on January twentieth, twenty twenty five, which, 181 00:12:48,955 --> 00:12:52,755 Speaker 1: given Trump's intention to be president again and his insistence 182 00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:55,155 Speaker 1: that he is innocent, may not be the flex that 183 00:12:55,275 --> 00:13:00,315 Speaker 1: Ramaswami thinks. It is a couple of brief scenes off 184 00:13:00,395 --> 00:13:04,395 Speaker 1: stage worth noting The New York Times Glenn Thrush may 185 00:13:04,435 --> 00:13:08,075 Speaker 1: have seen the indictment in real time shortly before three 186 00:13:08,115 --> 00:13:11,075 Speaker 1: point thirty yesterday in the courtyard of the Justice Department, 187 00:13:11,075 --> 00:13:15,595 Speaker 1: writes Thrush, quote Marshall Miller, a top Department official who 188 00:13:15,635 --> 00:13:19,115 Speaker 1: acted as an intermediary with the Special Council, raced out 189 00:13:19,115 --> 00:13:21,435 Speaker 1: of the building with a wad of papers in his 190 00:13:21,515 --> 00:13:26,315 Speaker 1: hand and an aid in tow. Also, the reputation of 191 00:13:26,355 --> 00:13:31,115 Speaker 1: the Secret Service continues to disintegrate. The Washington Post Rights 192 00:13:31,715 --> 00:13:35,275 Speaker 1: Secret Service officials in Washington and members of Trump's security 193 00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:39,355 Speaker 1: detail companying him in New Jersey were caught off guard 194 00:13:39,995 --> 00:13:42,835 Speaker 1: by his announcement Thursday night that he had been indicted. 195 00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:46,595 Speaker 1: Within moments of his post untruth, social Secret Service officials 196 00:13:46,635 --> 00:13:50,235 Speaker 1: began emailing one another and setting in motion a series 197 00:13:50,275 --> 00:13:57,875 Speaker 1: of planning meetings in Washington and Miami. Really, they were surprised. 198 00:13:59,435 --> 00:14:03,795 Speaker 1: How what happened here? Did the Secret Service transfer those 199 00:14:03,835 --> 00:14:05,835 Speaker 1: agents who had been guarding the home of the National 200 00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:10,275 Speaker 1: Security Advisor Jake Sullivan back in April when an intoxicated 201 00:14:10,355 --> 00:14:13,435 Speaker 1: man sash aid, passed every last one of them at 202 00:14:13,475 --> 00:14:16,275 Speaker 1: three o'clock in the morning and broke into Sullivan's house, 203 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,795 Speaker 1: And they never noticed because they were too busy looking 204 00:14:18,795 --> 00:14:21,955 Speaker 1: at their cell phones, and they didn't know about it 205 00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:27,795 Speaker 1: until Sullivan came out and told them himself. Same guys surprised. 206 00:14:29,675 --> 00:14:34,235 Speaker 1: Other notes, Newt Gingrich testified yesterday presumably about Trump builking 207 00:14:34,235 --> 00:14:36,875 Speaker 1: his own roubs for funds to fight as stolen election 208 00:14:36,955 --> 00:14:39,875 Speaker 1: that he knew was not stolen, or about the fake 209 00:14:39,915 --> 00:14:43,515 Speaker 1: elector's scheme, or both, and that serves as a reminder 210 00:14:43,875 --> 00:14:48,475 Speaker 1: that Jack Smith's investigations and possible charges against Trump continue 211 00:14:48,595 --> 00:14:53,275 Speaker 1: on all other fronts. Also, Steve Mannon has been subpoened, 212 00:14:53,595 --> 00:14:56,795 Speaker 1: and the Biden White House insists that it learned of 213 00:14:56,835 --> 00:15:02,595 Speaker 1: the indictments last night only when they sought in media. 214 00:15:02,795 --> 00:15:04,435 Speaker 1: You know, I did get out one of the first 215 00:15:04,475 --> 00:15:09,475 Speaker 1: t wheats on the Trump announcement. I'm hoping they saw that. Lastly, 216 00:15:10,235 --> 00:15:15,835 Speaker 1: since man's most distant ancestor climbed the primordial ooze, every 217 00:15:16,075 --> 00:15:20,555 Speaker 1: momentous event in our history has always been accompanied by 218 00:15:21,115 --> 00:15:26,035 Speaker 1: an equally momentous stupid event. There was the twenty one 219 00:15:26,035 --> 00:15:29,795 Speaker 1: gun salute in which the honoree got shot. There was 220 00:15:29,835 --> 00:15:32,275 Speaker 1: the new state of the art baseball stadium that opened 221 00:15:32,635 --> 00:15:35,115 Speaker 1: without a press box for the reporters to sit in. 222 00:15:35,755 --> 00:15:41,715 Speaker 1: And now there is Trump's indictment announcement and the worst 223 00:15:41,755 --> 00:15:49,075 Speaker 1: home video ever recorded. It is a masterpiece of missteps. 224 00:15:50,035 --> 00:15:54,115 Speaker 1: It is on the rushmore of rushed work. It is 225 00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:59,475 Speaker 1: a new high in low. Trump posted it at seven 226 00:15:59,515 --> 00:16:02,915 Speaker 1: point fifty seven from his golf club in Bedminster, New Jersey. 227 00:16:03,475 --> 00:16:06,995 Speaker 1: He is standing in front of a large painting seemingly 228 00:16:07,035 --> 00:16:10,795 Speaker 1: depicting a white house office scene from the late nineteenth century. 229 00:16:11,395 --> 00:16:16,435 Speaker 1: Trump has been positioned directly under an overhead spotlight of 230 00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:20,395 Speaker 1: some kind, so his flock of seagulls comb over that 231 00:16:20,475 --> 00:16:25,075 Speaker 1: he has honed to exactly his preferred shade of spray 232 00:16:25,115 --> 00:16:30,475 Speaker 1: on gold rustolium has instead been bleached white, and it 233 00:16:30,515 --> 00:16:34,355 Speaker 1: looks like a white yamica that has slid forward towards 234 00:16:34,355 --> 00:16:38,995 Speaker 1: his bright white eyebrows. He is also perfectly placed in 235 00:16:39,035 --> 00:16:41,235 Speaker 1: front of that painting in such a way that a 236 00:16:41,315 --> 00:16:44,435 Speaker 1: man in the painting who is standing. I think it 237 00:16:44,475 --> 00:16:48,275 Speaker 1: could be President Chester A. Arthur, or even President Grover Cleveland, 238 00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:52,475 Speaker 1: although the body language suggests it's mister Peanut. The man 239 00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:56,115 Speaker 1: in the painting is perfectly positioned and seems to be 240 00:16:56,195 --> 00:16:59,275 Speaker 1: about a foot tall and seems to be standing on 241 00:17:00,155 --> 00:17:06,435 Speaker 1: top of Trump's right shoulder. If this great gazoo effect 242 00:17:06,515 --> 00:17:11,355 Speaker 1: were not already hilarious enough, the man standing on Trump's shoulder, 243 00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:16,275 Speaker 1: the foot tall man on Trump's shoulder, is twirling his 244 00:17:16,675 --> 00:17:21,755 Speaker 1: mustache like he is snidely whiplash who has just tied 245 00:17:22,715 --> 00:17:27,195 Speaker 1: No Fenwick to the railroad tracks, and he is standing 246 00:17:27,675 --> 00:17:33,155 Speaker 1: on Trump's shoulder as Trump announces he has been indicted 247 00:17:33,235 --> 00:17:39,995 Speaker 1: for crimes against the United States of America. Want a 248 00:17:40,195 --> 00:17:44,115 Speaker 1: fitting way to end the coverage of the first time 249 00:17:44,315 --> 00:17:50,355 Speaker 1: in our hist Oh wait, I forgot something I forgot 250 00:17:51,155 --> 00:17:58,675 Speaker 1: there's new lyrics to my favorite song. I God indicted 251 00:17:58,875 --> 00:18:06,635 Speaker 1: in Miami, ding Don Counts Argona claw t book me 252 00:18:06,915 --> 00:18:10,635 Speaker 1: and bail me, try me and jail me, but get 253 00:18:10,675 --> 00:18:15,635 Speaker 1: me to the trial on time. Thank you, Nancy Fast. 254 00:18:20,875 --> 00:18:24,915 Speaker 1: Also of interest here as if we could possibly possibly 255 00:18:24,995 --> 00:18:30,035 Speaker 1: top the indictment of Donald Trump on seven different charges. 256 00:18:31,275 --> 00:18:35,235 Speaker 1: Also of interest here a name you thought you had 257 00:18:35,355 --> 00:18:39,435 Speaker 1: been done with hearing me say ever again? Ah, but 258 00:18:39,715 --> 00:18:44,475 Speaker 1: CNN's year to year advertising information has come out. I 259 00:18:44,515 --> 00:18:47,515 Speaker 1: will go over all of it because it doesn't take 260 00:18:47,635 --> 00:18:51,115 Speaker 1: as long as it should, because it's down forty percent 261 00:18:51,795 --> 00:18:55,595 Speaker 1: from last year. Last year before they ever heard the 262 00:18:55,715 --> 00:19:03,115 Speaker 1: name that's next. This is countdown. You know. This is 263 00:19:03,195 --> 00:19:11,835 Speaker 1: countdown with you know Keith Alberman. Postscripts to news some headlines, 264 00:19:11,875 --> 00:19:15,675 Speaker 1: some updates, some snarks, some predictions, dateline the Supreme Court, 265 00:19:15,795 --> 00:19:20,275 Speaker 1: somebody got scared. Chief Justice Roberts and Brett party down. 266 00:19:20,395 --> 00:19:24,075 Speaker 1: Cavanaugh lined up with the three liberals to strike down 267 00:19:24,155 --> 00:19:28,235 Speaker 1: Alabama's racist congressional map, upholding a key part of the 268 00:19:28,315 --> 00:19:32,915 Speaker 1: Voting Rights Act, with such alacrity that within hours, the 269 00:19:32,995 --> 00:19:36,955 Speaker 1: Cook Political Report changed five of its congressional predictions for 270 00:19:37,035 --> 00:19:40,955 Speaker 1: next year, Alabama's first and second districts, and the Louisiana 271 00:19:40,995 --> 00:19:44,595 Speaker 1: fifth and sixth go from solid Republican to toss up, 272 00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:47,715 Speaker 1: and the North Carolina first goes from toss up to 273 00:19:47,915 --> 00:19:53,635 Speaker 1: lean Democratic. As some political observers observed, the court may 274 00:19:53,635 --> 00:19:56,755 Speaker 1: have just given the Democrats the House back, if that 275 00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:59,875 Speaker 1: weren't shocking enough. A bid to hobble medicaid and keep 276 00:19:59,955 --> 00:20:04,275 Speaker 1: citizens from suing states for violating their rights was rejected 277 00:20:04,315 --> 00:20:06,995 Speaker 1: by the worked by seven to two. The only dissenters 278 00:20:07,035 --> 00:20:12,355 Speaker 1: were Alito and Thomas. Obviously, Thomas's check has cleared. Dateline 279 00:20:12,395 --> 00:20:15,315 Speaker 1: CNN Hudson Yards, New York, Chris Lickt is gone, but 280 00:20:15,395 --> 00:20:19,635 Speaker 1: the memory and the stench lingers on the advertising Research 281 00:20:19,675 --> 00:20:22,875 Speaker 1: from Media Radar reports that for the first four months 282 00:20:22,915 --> 00:20:26,675 Speaker 1: of twenty twenty three, CNN's on air and digital ad 283 00:20:26,715 --> 00:20:30,675 Speaker 1: revenue had dropped forty percent compared to the first four 284 00:20:30,715 --> 00:20:32,995 Speaker 1: months of twenty twenty two before Lickt got there and 285 00:20:33,035 --> 00:20:36,795 Speaker 1: started hunting for the middle that does not exist in 286 00:20:36,915 --> 00:20:41,395 Speaker 1: real terms. That's two hundred million dollars CNN did not 287 00:20:41,635 --> 00:20:45,835 Speaker 1: make for context. MSNBC lost six point one percent of 288 00:20:45,875 --> 00:20:50,835 Speaker 1: its ad revenue, Fox six point eight, CNN forty. But 289 00:20:51,155 --> 00:20:54,315 Speaker 1: I'm sure they'll figure it out, just because their old 290 00:20:54,315 --> 00:20:57,955 Speaker 1: audience is gone, and there's no stars in primetime or 291 00:20:57,955 --> 00:21:13,075 Speaker 1: in the morning or any other time of the day. 292 00:21:18,155 --> 00:21:22,195 Speaker 1: Thank you, Nancy Faust. Dateline Fox Quote News unquote. It 293 00:21:22,275 --> 00:21:26,115 Speaker 1: has announced that Monday, Sean Hannity's guest will be Governor 294 00:21:26,195 --> 00:21:30,275 Speaker 1: Gavin Newsom of California, who admits he watches Fox all 295 00:21:30,315 --> 00:21:33,435 Speaker 1: the time, whose ex wife, Kimberly Gilfoyle used to be 296 00:21:33,515 --> 00:21:36,235 Speaker 1: on Fox before she turned out to be even too 297 00:21:36,275 --> 00:21:41,275 Speaker 1: gross for them. Here's a question, Governor, why why would 298 00:21:41,315 --> 00:21:44,915 Speaker 1: you go on Fox? Now? Their own viewers have their 299 00:21:44,915 --> 00:21:48,275 Speaker 1: foot on Fox's neck and you go on there. It's 300 00:21:48,275 --> 00:21:51,155 Speaker 1: like Stephen A. Smith going on with Hannity. You can 301 00:21:51,195 --> 00:21:54,915 Speaker 1: only damage yourself, and even if you don't actually damage 302 00:21:54,915 --> 00:21:57,635 Speaker 1: yourself during the show, they have all that tape of 303 00:21:57,675 --> 00:22:00,155 Speaker 1: you that they can distort out of context and use 304 00:22:00,195 --> 00:22:04,555 Speaker 1: against you next time. Democrats do not go on Fox. 305 00:22:05,235 --> 00:22:11,195 Speaker 1: They are mortally wounded. Let them bleed. Dateline Alderman Broadcasting 306 00:22:11,235 --> 00:22:15,115 Speaker 1: Empire World Headquarters, Sports Capsule Building, New York. Sometime very 307 00:22:15,155 --> 00:22:18,915 Speaker 1: late Tuesday, it looks like this podcast crossed another threshold. 308 00:22:19,315 --> 00:22:22,595 Speaker 1: Ten million downloads in a little over ten months, a million, 309 00:22:22,675 --> 00:22:25,955 Speaker 1: five hundred thousand of them last month alone. As ever, 310 00:22:26,035 --> 00:22:28,315 Speaker 1: I thank you for your support and your loyalty. And 311 00:22:28,355 --> 00:22:32,115 Speaker 1: with that uncharacteristic niceness out of the way, it's not enough, 312 00:22:32,315 --> 00:22:39,115 Speaker 1: it's not nearly enough. Tell the others stop passers by, seriously, 313 00:22:39,235 --> 00:22:55,675 Speaker 1: thank you. Coming up Fridays with thurber and many of 314 00:22:55,715 --> 00:22:58,155 Speaker 1: his stories are clever, and many are funny. And then 315 00:22:58,195 --> 00:23:01,955 Speaker 1: there are some whose plots are worthy of Arthur Conan 316 00:23:01,995 --> 00:23:07,155 Speaker 1: Doyle or Shakespeare. The cat seat next first the day 317 00:23:07,195 --> 00:23:09,515 Speaker 1: he round up with the missigrants, morons and dunning Kruger 318 00:23:09,515 --> 00:23:15,595 Speaker 1: effect specimens who constitute today's bus pussons in the world lebrons, 319 00:23:16,035 --> 00:23:19,315 Speaker 1: a bunch of people bashing Gene Simmons of kiss because 320 00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:22,435 Speaker 1: he showed up to the British Parliament and attended Prime 321 00:23:22,435 --> 00:23:26,875 Speaker 1: Minister's question time, and he visited the Irish mp ian Paisley. 322 00:23:27,715 --> 00:23:30,995 Speaker 1: Simmons also called for the restoration of the Stormont House Agreement, 323 00:23:30,995 --> 00:23:33,275 Speaker 1: in which power in Northern Ireland would be shared by 324 00:23:33,315 --> 00:23:36,515 Speaker 1: Irish and pro British politicians for the benefit of citizens. 325 00:23:36,715 --> 00:23:40,635 Speaker 1: And a lot of reaction here and there was he's 326 00:23:40,675 --> 00:23:44,155 Speaker 1: a rock and roll guy in face paint. Gene Simmons 327 00:23:44,235 --> 00:23:45,955 Speaker 1: also used to be a sixth grade teacher, and I 328 00:23:46,035 --> 00:23:50,475 Speaker 1: ask you this, which makes more sense Gene Simmons in 329 00:23:50,555 --> 00:23:55,795 Speaker 1: his kiss attire talking about Irish politics, or Marjorie Taylor 330 00:23:55,875 --> 00:23:58,995 Speaker 1: Green being allowed into Congress without a tour pass and 331 00:23:59,155 --> 00:24:04,435 Speaker 1: adult supervision. The runners up, Jesse Waters and Laura Ingram, 332 00:24:04,435 --> 00:24:06,515 Speaker 1: who work at the rotting carcass of what used to 333 00:24:06,515 --> 00:24:10,075 Speaker 1: be Fox quote News unquote, don't go on there, Governor. 334 00:24:11,555 --> 00:24:14,635 Speaker 1: They continue to mock the last two days of the 335 00:24:14,675 --> 00:24:17,195 Speaker 1: air in New York and Washington and all the Atlantic 336 00:24:17,275 --> 00:24:21,715 Speaker 1: seaboard being tasteable, being so orange that, as the satirical 337 00:24:21,755 --> 00:24:23,995 Speaker 1: site Have I Got News for You pointed out, New 338 00:24:24,075 --> 00:24:27,515 Speaker 1: Yorker is urged to remain vigilant after Donald Trump is 339 00:24:27,595 --> 00:24:34,395 Speaker 1: rendered completely invisible. Waters mocked warnings to stay inside by saying, 340 00:24:34,995 --> 00:24:40,115 Speaker 1: paboly saints, stay inside, but I didn't listen, which checks 341 00:24:40,115 --> 00:24:42,915 Speaker 1: out because he's a moron. A lot of stupid people 342 00:24:42,915 --> 00:24:46,155 Speaker 1: on Fox kill Meat is stupid. Harris Faulkner is so stupid. 343 00:24:46,635 --> 00:24:48,555 Speaker 1: She used to have a cell phone case with her 344 00:24:48,595 --> 00:24:51,915 Speaker 1: own picture on it, apparently in case she forgot what 345 00:24:51,955 --> 00:24:56,475 Speaker 1: she looked like. But Waters is next level. Ingram meanwhile 346 00:24:56,515 --> 00:24:59,795 Speaker 1: hosted a climate change denier named Steve Molloy and Steve 347 00:24:59,835 --> 00:25:01,955 Speaker 1: Malloy said, we have this kind of air in India 348 00:25:02,035 --> 00:25:05,035 Speaker 1: and China all the time. No public health emergency. This 349 00:25:05,075 --> 00:25:07,915 Speaker 1: doesn't kill anybody, that doesn't make anybody cough. This is 350 00:25:07,955 --> 00:25:11,075 Speaker 1: not a health event, no, of course, not other than 351 00:25:11,115 --> 00:25:14,075 Speaker 1: the extra million premature deaths a year from air pollution 352 00:25:14,475 --> 00:25:21,035 Speaker 1: in China and India. Doesn't mean a thing. Ah, I'm 353 00:25:21,075 --> 00:25:24,715 Speaker 1: surprised they didn't note that. With the atmospheric patterns suggesting 354 00:25:24,715 --> 00:25:26,915 Speaker 1: that we're in for a summer of this, New Yorkers 355 00:25:26,915 --> 00:25:30,435 Speaker 1: and Washingtonians who have always wanted their own fireplace but 356 00:25:30,515 --> 00:25:33,555 Speaker 1: could not afford one, can now just open a window 357 00:25:33,635 --> 00:25:36,755 Speaker 1: and make a crackling sound with some cellophane and pretend 358 00:25:36,755 --> 00:25:40,515 Speaker 1: they have one. But our winner, good old George Santos, 359 00:25:40,795 --> 00:25:42,795 Speaker 1: once again, we can do two things at once. We 360 00:25:42,835 --> 00:25:46,955 Speaker 1: can deplore his extraordinary dishonesty, that his amazing conviction that 361 00:25:47,235 --> 00:25:49,835 Speaker 1: he will continue to get away with it because so 362 00:25:49,955 --> 00:25:52,595 Speaker 1: far he has, while at the same time we can 363 00:25:52,675 --> 00:25:57,995 Speaker 1: only look at the stamina with envy, his stamina in 364 00:25:58,075 --> 00:26:00,275 Speaker 1: finding ways that none of the rest of us would 365 00:26:00,275 --> 00:26:03,555 Speaker 1: have ever dreamed of to break laws, violate ethics, and 366 00:26:03,675 --> 00:26:09,275 Speaker 1: surround ourselves with the worst possible people. That Mother Jones Magazine, 367 00:26:09,355 --> 00:26:12,115 Speaker 1: David Corn and Jacqueline Sweet report that Santos is so 368 00:26:12,235 --> 00:26:15,755 Speaker 1: corrupt that his lawyer was in the mob that attacked 369 00:26:15,795 --> 00:26:19,555 Speaker 1: the Capitol on January sixth. Now we knowed Santos was 370 00:26:19,595 --> 00:26:23,475 Speaker 1: in the VIP section that day for Trump's stochastic terrorism 371 00:26:23,515 --> 00:26:26,555 Speaker 1: speech at the Ellipse. But now Mother Jones reports quote, 372 00:26:26,755 --> 00:26:30,035 Speaker 1: newly uncovered photos and video footage of January sixth show 373 00:26:30,075 --> 00:26:33,195 Speaker 1: that his attorney, Joseph Murray, was in the angry mob 374 00:26:33,275 --> 00:26:37,795 Speaker 1: that trespassed on Capitol grounds. It appears the attorney Murray 375 00:26:37,795 --> 00:26:40,395 Speaker 1: got to the steps of the Capitol and stopped and watched. 376 00:26:41,075 --> 00:26:43,395 Speaker 1: No evidence he went in, No evidence he broke the law. 377 00:26:43,595 --> 00:26:47,355 Speaker 1: But Mother Jones says former Queen's Republican District leader Philip Grillow, 378 00:26:47,835 --> 00:26:52,635 Speaker 1: who went into the Congress through a broken window, says 379 00:26:52,635 --> 00:26:55,955 Speaker 1: he himself saw Murray on the way from the Ellipse. Quote, 380 00:26:55,995 --> 00:26:58,715 Speaker 1: he was leading the charge up the hill. He was 381 00:26:58,875 --> 00:27:01,795 Speaker 1: urging us on waiving this to follow him. And now 382 00:27:02,675 --> 00:27:06,915 Speaker 1: he's George Santos's lawyer. George, Yeah, but he didn't go 383 00:27:06,995 --> 00:27:07,795 Speaker 1: in the Capitol. 384 00:27:08,035 --> 00:27:26,875 Speaker 2: Santos Today's worst parson in the world. Here's the number 385 00:27:26,875 --> 00:27:28,915 Speaker 2: one story on the Countdown, and since it is the 386 00:27:28,915 --> 00:27:33,075 Speaker 2: weekend edition, it's time for some James Thurber. The catbirds 387 00:27:33,155 --> 00:27:36,395 Speaker 2: Seat combines two of my all time favorite things, Thurber 388 00:27:36,715 --> 00:27:40,675 Speaker 2: and baseball broadcasting. As Thurber will reveal in the story, 389 00:27:40,715 --> 00:27:43,555 Speaker 2: the title comes from a catchphrase used by the Brooklyn 390 00:27:43,595 --> 00:27:47,395 Speaker 2: Dodgers legendary announcer Red Barber, the man who trained Vince 391 00:27:47,395 --> 00:27:51,235 Speaker 2: Scully and is my late friend Vin's only true competition 392 00:27:51,355 --> 00:27:54,115 Speaker 2: for greatest baseball play by playing man of all time. 393 00:27:54,955 --> 00:27:57,595 Speaker 2: I met Red Barber once I interviewed him for CNN. 394 00:27:58,235 --> 00:28:02,035 Speaker 2: He called me Keith throughout the interview. I was so starstruck. 395 00:28:02,235 --> 00:28:04,595 Speaker 2: It's pretty much all I remember from the interview. 396 00:28:05,795 --> 00:28:10,315 Speaker 1: Anyway. Bert Lancaster bought the movie rights to this story 397 00:28:10,395 --> 00:28:14,675 Speaker 1: and he got Billy Wilder to commit to direct it. Well, 398 00:28:14,675 --> 00:28:17,555 Speaker 1: how come you've never heard of this perfect sounding film, 399 00:28:17,595 --> 00:28:22,235 Speaker 1: The Catbird Seat, directed by Billy Wilder. They sold the 400 00:28:22,315 --> 00:28:25,795 Speaker 1: rights and in nineteen sixty the film was made, but 401 00:28:25,915 --> 00:28:31,275 Speaker 1: they relocated it from Manhattan to Scotland, starring Peter Sellars 402 00:28:31,355 --> 00:28:36,115 Speaker 1: dressed up as an old man as mister Martin. It's okay, 403 00:28:37,075 --> 00:28:40,395 Speaker 1: unless you've read the story or had it read to 404 00:28:40,475 --> 00:28:45,595 Speaker 1: you from the Thurber Carnival nineteen forty five, The Catbird 405 00:28:45,635 --> 00:28:51,475 Speaker 1: Seat by James Thurber. Mister Martin bought the pack of 406 00:28:51,515 --> 00:28:54,355 Speaker 1: camels on Monday night in the most crowded cigar store 407 00:28:54,395 --> 00:28:57,315 Speaker 1: on Broadway. It was theater time, and seven or eight 408 00:28:57,355 --> 00:29:00,555 Speaker 1: men were buying cigarettes. The clerk didn't even glance at 409 00:29:00,595 --> 00:29:03,195 Speaker 1: mister Martin, who put the pack in his overcoat pocket 410 00:29:03,195 --> 00:29:06,515 Speaker 1: and went out. If any of the staff at F 411 00:29:06,595 --> 00:29:09,715 Speaker 1: and S had seen him by the cigarettes, they would 412 00:29:09,755 --> 00:29:14,035 Speaker 1: have been astonished, for it was generally known that mister 413 00:29:14,075 --> 00:29:19,155 Speaker 1: Martin did not smoke, and never had. No one saw him. 414 00:29:19,715 --> 00:29:21,715 Speaker 1: It was just a week to the day since mister 415 00:29:21,755 --> 00:29:26,155 Speaker 1: Martin had decided to rub out missus Old Jean Barrows. 416 00:29:27,235 --> 00:29:32,275 Speaker 1: The term rub out pleased him because it suggested nothing 417 00:29:32,315 --> 00:29:35,595 Speaker 1: more than the correction of an error, in this case, 418 00:29:35,995 --> 00:29:40,795 Speaker 1: an error of mister Fitweiler. Mister Martin had spent each 419 00:29:40,875 --> 00:29:42,795 Speaker 1: night of the past week working out his plan and 420 00:29:42,835 --> 00:29:45,715 Speaker 1: examining it as he walked home. Now he went over 421 00:29:45,755 --> 00:29:50,075 Speaker 1: it again for the hundredth time. He resented the element 422 00:29:50,155 --> 00:29:54,675 Speaker 1: of imprecision, the margin of guesswork that entered into the business. 423 00:29:55,315 --> 00:29:58,795 Speaker 1: The project, as he had worked it out, was casual 424 00:29:59,235 --> 00:30:03,835 Speaker 1: and bold. The risks were considerable. Something might go wrong 425 00:30:04,155 --> 00:30:09,035 Speaker 1: anywhere along the line, and therein lay the cunning of 426 00:30:09,075 --> 00:30:12,595 Speaker 1: his scheme. No one would ever see in the cautious, 427 00:30:12,995 --> 00:30:16,795 Speaker 1: painstaking hand of Irwin Martin, head of the filing department 428 00:30:16,835 --> 00:30:20,195 Speaker 1: at f and S, of whom mister Fitweiler had once said, 429 00:30:21,235 --> 00:30:25,915 Speaker 1: man is fallible, but Martin isn't. No one would see 430 00:30:25,915 --> 00:30:32,395 Speaker 1: his hand, that is, unless he were caught in the act. 431 00:30:33,595 --> 00:30:36,875 Speaker 1: Sitting in his apartment drinking a glass of milk, mister 432 00:30:36,955 --> 00:30:40,875 Speaker 1: Martin reviewed his case against missus Old Jean Barrows, as 433 00:30:40,915 --> 00:30:45,155 Speaker 1: he had every night for seven nights. He began at 434 00:30:45,195 --> 00:30:49,315 Speaker 1: the beginning. Her quacking voice and braying laugh at first 435 00:30:49,475 --> 00:30:53,915 Speaker 1: profaned the halls of FNS. On March seventh, nineteen forty one, 436 00:30:55,355 --> 00:30:59,115 Speaker 1: mister Martin had a head for dates. Old Roberts, the 437 00:30:59,115 --> 00:31:03,355 Speaker 1: personnel chief, had introduced her as the newly appointed special 438 00:31:03,475 --> 00:31:07,435 Speaker 1: advisor to the present of the firm, mister Fitweiler. The 439 00:31:07,475 --> 00:31:11,595 Speaker 1: woman had appalled mister Martin instantly, but he had not 440 00:31:11,715 --> 00:31:14,795 Speaker 1: shown it. He had given her his dry hand a 441 00:31:14,835 --> 00:31:20,195 Speaker 1: look of studious concentration in a faint smile. Well, she said, 442 00:31:20,195 --> 00:31:22,795 Speaker 1: looking at the papers on his desk, are you lifting 443 00:31:22,835 --> 00:31:27,075 Speaker 1: the ox cart out of the ditch. As mister Martin 444 00:31:27,155 --> 00:31:31,955 Speaker 1: recalled that moment over his milk, he squirmed slightly. He 445 00:31:32,035 --> 00:31:34,795 Speaker 1: must keep his mind on her crimes as a special advisor, 446 00:31:34,875 --> 00:31:38,995 Speaker 1: not on her peccadillos as a personality. This he found 447 00:31:39,075 --> 00:31:42,355 Speaker 1: difficult to do. In spite of entering an objection and 448 00:31:42,435 --> 00:31:45,275 Speaker 1: sustaining it. The faults of the woman as a woman 449 00:31:45,795 --> 00:31:48,795 Speaker 1: kept chattering on in his mind like an unruly witness. 450 00:31:49,515 --> 00:31:53,955 Speaker 1: She had for almost two years now baited him in 451 00:31:54,035 --> 00:31:57,315 Speaker 1: the halls, in the elevator, even in his own office, 452 00:31:57,355 --> 00:32:01,595 Speaker 1: into which she romped now and then like a circus horse. 453 00:32:02,795 --> 00:32:06,555 Speaker 1: She was constantly shouting these silly questions at him. Are 454 00:32:06,595 --> 00:32:09,395 Speaker 1: you lefting the ox cart out of the ditch? Are 455 00:32:09,395 --> 00:32:12,395 Speaker 1: you tearing up the pea patch? Are you hollering down 456 00:32:12,435 --> 00:32:15,555 Speaker 1: the rain barrel? Are you scraping around the bottom of 457 00:32:15,555 --> 00:32:20,195 Speaker 1: the pickle barrel? Are you sitting in the catmarried seat. 458 00:32:22,355 --> 00:32:26,915 Speaker 1: It was Joey Hart, one of mister Martin's two assistants, 459 00:32:28,035 --> 00:32:32,035 Speaker 1: who had explained what the gibberish meant she must be 460 00:32:32,115 --> 00:32:35,715 Speaker 1: a Dodger fan, he had said. Red Bob announces the 461 00:32:35,755 --> 00:32:38,675 Speaker 1: Dodger games over the radio, and he uses these expressions, 462 00:32:38,955 --> 00:32:42,995 Speaker 1: picked them up down south. Joey had gone on to 463 00:32:43,075 --> 00:32:46,715 Speaker 1: explain one or two, Tearing up the pea patch meant 464 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:51,555 Speaker 1: going on a rampage. Sitting in the catbirds seat meant 465 00:32:51,595 --> 00:32:54,235 Speaker 1: sitting pretty like a batter with three balls and no 466 00:32:54,355 --> 00:32:58,475 Speaker 1: strikes on him. Mister Martin dismissed all this with an effort. 467 00:32:58,915 --> 00:33:01,955 Speaker 1: It had been annoying, it had driven him nearer to distraction, 468 00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:04,635 Speaker 1: but he was too solid a man to be moved, 469 00:33:04,675 --> 00:33:11,075 Speaker 1: moved to murder by anything so childish. It was unfortunate, 470 00:33:11,235 --> 00:33:14,115 Speaker 1: he reflected, as he passed on to the important charges 471 00:33:14,115 --> 00:33:16,955 Speaker 1: against Missus Barrows, that he had stood up under it 472 00:33:17,035 --> 00:33:22,555 Speaker 1: so well. He had maintained always an outward appearance of 473 00:33:22,595 --> 00:33:28,715 Speaker 1: polite tolerance. Why I even believe you like the woman mispaired, 474 00:33:28,795 --> 00:33:31,755 Speaker 1: His other assistant had once said to him, he had 475 00:33:31,755 --> 00:33:35,995 Speaker 1: simply smiled a gavel wrapped in mister Martin's mind, and 476 00:33:36,035 --> 00:33:39,155 Speaker 1: the case proper was resumed. Missus Aul Jean Barrows stood 477 00:33:39,235 --> 00:33:42,635 Speaker 1: charged with wilful, flatant and persistent attempts to destroy the 478 00:33:42,635 --> 00:33:48,195 Speaker 1: efficiency and system of fn S. It was confident material 479 00:33:48,235 --> 00:33:51,075 Speaker 1: and relevant to review her advent and rise to power. 480 00:33:52,035 --> 00:33:54,395 Speaker 1: Mister Martin had got the story from Miss Paired, who 481 00:33:54,435 --> 00:33:59,035 Speaker 1: seemed always able to find things out. According to her, 482 00:33:59,875 --> 00:34:04,275 Speaker 1: Missus Barrows had met mister Fitweller at a party where 483 00:34:04,275 --> 00:34:07,475 Speaker 1: she had rescued him from the embraces of a powerfully built, 484 00:34:07,555 --> 00:34:10,715 Speaker 1: drunken man who had mistaken the president of F and 485 00:34:10,955 --> 00:34:16,715 Speaker 1: S for a famous retired middle Western football coach. She 486 00:34:16,795 --> 00:34:19,035 Speaker 1: had led him to a sofa and somehow worked upon 487 00:34:19,115 --> 00:34:24,475 Speaker 1: him a monstrous magic. The aging gentleman had jumped to 488 00:34:24,515 --> 00:34:27,035 Speaker 1: the conclusion there and then that this was a woman 489 00:34:27,115 --> 00:34:30,355 Speaker 1: of singular attainments, equipped to bring out the best in 490 00:34:30,435 --> 00:34:34,235 Speaker 1: him and in the firm. A week later he had 491 00:34:34,275 --> 00:34:39,555 Speaker 1: introduced her into F and S as his special adviser. 492 00:34:41,395 --> 00:34:45,075 Speaker 1: On that day, Confusion got its foot in the door. 493 00:34:47,275 --> 00:34:50,075 Speaker 1: After Miss Tyson, mister Brundage, and mister Bartlett had been 494 00:34:50,075 --> 00:34:52,595 Speaker 1: fired and mister Munson had taken his hat and stalked 495 00:34:52,595 --> 00:34:56,635 Speaker 1: out mailing. In his resignation letter, Old Roberts had been 496 00:34:56,635 --> 00:35:00,515 Speaker 1: emboldened to speak to mister Fitweiler. He mentioned that mister 497 00:35:00,595 --> 00:35:04,555 Speaker 1: Munson's department had become a little disrupted, and hadn't a 498 00:35:04,675 --> 00:35:09,395 Speaker 1: perhaps better resume the old system there? Mister Fitwaller had said, 499 00:35:09,435 --> 00:35:13,675 Speaker 1: certainly not. He had the greatest faith in missus Barrow's ideas. 500 00:35:14,355 --> 00:35:17,995 Speaker 1: They require a little seasoning. Little seasoning is all, he 501 00:35:18,035 --> 00:35:22,875 Speaker 1: had added. Mister Roberts had given it up. Mister Martin 502 00:35:22,915 --> 00:35:26,155 Speaker 1: reviewed in detail all the changes wrought by missus Barrows. 503 00:35:26,275 --> 00:35:29,475 Speaker 1: She had begun chipping at the cornices of the firm's edifice, 504 00:35:29,475 --> 00:35:32,875 Speaker 1: and now she was swinging at the foundation stones with 505 00:35:32,955 --> 00:35:37,635 Speaker 1: a pickaxe. Mister Martin came now in his summing up 506 00:35:37,635 --> 00:35:40,755 Speaker 1: to the afternoon of Monday, November two, nineteen forty two, 507 00:35:40,995 --> 00:35:45,515 Speaker 1: just one week ago. On that day, at three pm, 508 00:35:45,835 --> 00:35:49,955 Speaker 1: Missus Barrows had bounced into his office. Boo, she had yelled, 509 00:35:50,275 --> 00:35:52,555 Speaker 1: Are you scraping around the bottom of the pickle barrel? 510 00:35:54,435 --> 00:35:57,075 Speaker 1: Mister Martin had looked at her from under his green 511 00:35:57,235 --> 00:36:01,595 Speaker 1: eye shade, saying nothing. She had begun to wander about 512 00:36:01,635 --> 00:36:04,995 Speaker 1: the office, taking it in with her great popping eyes. 513 00:36:05,155 --> 00:36:10,395 Speaker 1: Do you really need all these filing cabinets, she had demanded. Suddenly, 514 00:36:11,755 --> 00:36:17,395 Speaker 1: mister Martin's heart had jumped each of these files. He 515 00:36:17,435 --> 00:36:20,595 Speaker 1: had said, keeping his voice even plays an indispensable part 516 00:36:20,635 --> 00:36:24,515 Speaker 1: in the system of f and s. She had brayed 517 00:36:24,595 --> 00:36:27,915 Speaker 1: at him while don't tear up the pea patch, and 518 00:36:28,075 --> 00:36:31,835 Speaker 1: gone to the door. From there she had bawled, but 519 00:36:31,995 --> 00:36:35,795 Speaker 1: you sure have got a lot of fines scrap in here. 520 00:36:37,355 --> 00:36:41,115 Speaker 1: Mister Martin could no longer doubt that the finger was 521 00:36:41,195 --> 00:36:46,155 Speaker 1: on his beloved department. Her pickaxe was on the upswing, 522 00:36:46,315 --> 00:36:50,235 Speaker 1: poised for the first blow. It had not come yet. 523 00:36:50,675 --> 00:36:53,355 Speaker 1: He had received no blue memo from the enchanted mister 524 00:36:53,395 --> 00:36:58,875 Speaker 1: Fitweller bearing nonsensical instructions deriving from this obscene woman, But 525 00:36:58,915 --> 00:37:01,115 Speaker 1: there was no doubt in mister Martin's mind that one 526 00:37:01,115 --> 00:37:06,195 Speaker 1: would be forthcoming. He must act quickly. Already a precious 527 00:37:06,235 --> 00:37:10,835 Speaker 1: week had gone by. Mister Martin stood up in his 528 00:37:10,955 --> 00:37:15,395 Speaker 1: living room, still holding his milk glass. Gentlemen of the jury, 529 00:37:15,475 --> 00:37:21,075 Speaker 1: he said to himself, I demand the death penalty for 530 00:37:21,195 --> 00:37:27,515 Speaker 1: this horrible person. The next day, mister Martin followed his 531 00:37:27,595 --> 00:37:30,475 Speaker 1: routine as usual. He polished his glasses more often and 532 00:37:30,515 --> 00:37:34,315 Speaker 1: once sharpened an already sharp pencil. But not even mispaired noticed. 533 00:37:34,955 --> 00:37:38,035 Speaker 1: Only once did he catch sight of his victim. She 534 00:37:38,115 --> 00:37:40,835 Speaker 1: swept past him in the hall with the patronizing Hi. 535 00:37:41,995 --> 00:37:44,115 Speaker 1: At five point thirty, he walked home as usual and 536 00:37:44,155 --> 00:37:47,395 Speaker 1: had a glass of milk as usual. He had never 537 00:37:47,555 --> 00:37:51,275 Speaker 1: drunk anything stronger in his life, unless you could count 538 00:37:51,315 --> 00:37:55,795 Speaker 1: ginger Ale. The late Sam Schlosser, the s of F 539 00:37:55,875 --> 00:37:58,035 Speaker 1: and S had praised mister Martin at a staff meeting 540 00:37:58,075 --> 00:38:02,035 Speaker 1: several years before for his temperate habits. One of our 541 00:38:02,075 --> 00:38:05,875 Speaker 1: most efficient workers. Neither drinks nor smoke, he had said, 542 00:38:06,035 --> 00:38:10,675 Speaker 1: the results speak for themselves. Mister Fitwiler had sat by, 543 00:38:10,995 --> 00:38:15,435 Speaker 1: nodding approval. Mister Martin was still thinking about that red 544 00:38:15,515 --> 00:38:18,035 Speaker 1: letter day as he walked over to the Shaft's restaurant 545 00:38:18,035 --> 00:38:21,035 Speaker 1: on Fifth Avenue near forty sixth Street. He got there 546 00:38:21,035 --> 00:38:23,715 Speaker 1: as he always did, at eight o'clock. He finished his 547 00:38:23,755 --> 00:38:25,995 Speaker 1: dinner and the financial page of the New York Sun 548 00:38:26,195 --> 00:38:29,035 Speaker 1: quartered at to nine. As he always did, It was 549 00:38:29,075 --> 00:38:31,635 Speaker 1: his custom after dinner to take a walk. This time 550 00:38:31,715 --> 00:38:35,115 Speaker 1: he walked down Fifth Avenue at a casual place. His 551 00:38:35,235 --> 00:38:40,395 Speaker 1: gloved hands felt moist and warm, his forehead cold. He 552 00:38:40,555 --> 00:38:43,795 Speaker 1: transferred the camels from his overcoat to a jacket pocket. 553 00:38:43,995 --> 00:38:45,875 Speaker 1: He wondered as he did so, if they did not 554 00:38:45,995 --> 00:38:52,675 Speaker 1: represent an unnecessary note of strain. Missus Sparrows smoked only luckies. 555 00:38:53,555 --> 00:38:55,795 Speaker 1: It was his idea to puff a few puffs on 556 00:38:56,115 --> 00:39:00,315 Speaker 1: a camel after the rubbing out, stub it out in 557 00:39:00,355 --> 00:39:04,235 Speaker 1: the ashtray, holding her lipstick, saying luckies, and thus drag 558 00:39:04,315 --> 00:39:08,395 Speaker 1: a small red hairing across the trail. Perhaps it was 559 00:39:08,435 --> 00:39:12,115 Speaker 1: not a good idea. It would take time. He might 560 00:39:12,155 --> 00:39:17,955 Speaker 1: even choke too loudly. Mister Martin had never seen the 561 00:39:17,955 --> 00:39:20,555 Speaker 1: house on West twelfth Street where Missus Barrows lived, but 562 00:39:20,595 --> 00:39:22,995 Speaker 1: he had a clear enough picture of it. Fortunately, she 563 00:39:23,115 --> 00:39:28,035 Speaker 1: had bragged to everybody about her decky first floor apartment 564 00:39:28,075 --> 00:39:32,675 Speaker 1: in the perfectly darling three story red brick. There would 565 00:39:32,715 --> 00:39:35,675 Speaker 1: be no doorman or other attendants, just the tenants of 566 00:39:35,715 --> 00:39:38,475 Speaker 1: the second and third floors. As he walked along, mister 567 00:39:38,515 --> 00:39:42,075 Speaker 1: Martin realized that he would get there before nine thirty. 568 00:39:43,035 --> 00:39:46,435 Speaker 1: He had considered walking north on Fifth Avenue from Shrafts 569 00:39:46,475 --> 00:39:48,515 Speaker 1: to a point from which it would take him until 570 00:39:48,555 --> 00:39:51,235 Speaker 1: ten o'clock to reach the house. At that hour people 571 00:39:51,315 --> 00:39:53,475 Speaker 1: were less likely to be coming in or going out, 572 00:39:53,915 --> 00:39:56,475 Speaker 1: But the procedure would have made an awkward loop in 573 00:39:56,555 --> 00:40:01,355 Speaker 1: the straight thread of his casualness, and he had abandoned it. 574 00:40:01,355 --> 00:40:03,755 Speaker 1: It was impossible to figure when people would be entering 575 00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:06,275 Speaker 1: or leaving the house. Anyway, there was a great risk 576 00:40:06,355 --> 00:40:09,635 Speaker 1: at any hour if he ran into anybody, he would 577 00:40:09,635 --> 00:40:11,715 Speaker 1: simply have to place the rubbing out of Old Jean 578 00:40:11,795 --> 00:40:17,595 Speaker 1: Barrows in the inactive file forever. The same thing would 579 00:40:17,595 --> 00:40:20,155 Speaker 1: hold true if there was someone in her apartment. In 580 00:40:20,155 --> 00:40:21,675 Speaker 1: that case, he would just say that he had been 581 00:40:21,715 --> 00:40:27,235 Speaker 1: passing by, recognized her charming house, and thought to drop in. 582 00:40:29,195 --> 00:40:31,515 Speaker 1: It was eighteen minutes after nine when mister Martin turned 583 00:40:31,555 --> 00:40:34,435 Speaker 1: into twelfth Street. A man passed him, and a man 584 00:40:34,475 --> 00:40:38,155 Speaker 1: and a woman talking. There was no one within fifty paces. 585 00:40:38,155 --> 00:40:40,595 Speaker 1: When he came to the house halfway down the block. 586 00:40:41,435 --> 00:40:43,515 Speaker 1: He was up the steps and in the small vestibule, 587 00:40:43,555 --> 00:40:45,555 Speaker 1: and no time pressing the bell under the card that 588 00:40:45,595 --> 00:40:48,115 Speaker 1: said missus Old Jean Barrows. When the clicking in the 589 00:40:48,155 --> 00:40:50,435 Speaker 1: locks started, he jumped forward against the door. He got 590 00:40:50,435 --> 00:40:53,235 Speaker 1: inside fast, closing the door behind him. A bulb in 591 00:40:53,275 --> 00:40:55,395 Speaker 1: a lantern hung from the hall ceiling on a chain 592 00:40:55,555 --> 00:40:58,755 Speaker 1: seemed to give a monstrously bright light. There was nobody 593 00:40:58,755 --> 00:41:00,475 Speaker 1: on the stair which went up ahead of him. Along 594 00:41:00,515 --> 00:41:03,355 Speaker 1: the left wall. A door opened down the hall on 595 00:41:03,395 --> 00:41:07,115 Speaker 1: the wall on the right. He went toward it swiftly 596 00:41:07,235 --> 00:41:12,795 Speaker 1: on tiptoe. Well, for God's sakes, look who's here? Bawled 597 00:41:12,795 --> 00:41:16,115 Speaker 1: Missus Barrows, and her brain laugh rang out like the 598 00:41:16,155 --> 00:41:19,355 Speaker 1: report of a shotgun. He rushed past her like a 599 00:41:19,395 --> 00:41:24,235 Speaker 1: football attacker, bumping her. Hey, quit shoving, she said, closing 600 00:41:24,275 --> 00:41:27,235 Speaker 1: the door behind them. They were in her living room, 601 00:41:27,355 --> 00:41:29,875 Speaker 1: which seemed to mister Martin to be lighted by a 602 00:41:30,075 --> 00:41:35,195 Speaker 1: hundred lamps. What's after you? She said, here's jumpy as 603 00:41:35,195 --> 00:41:39,515 Speaker 1: a goat. He found he was unable to speak. His 604 00:41:39,715 --> 00:41:45,115 Speaker 1: heart was wheezing in his throat. I yes, he finally 605 00:41:45,115 --> 00:41:48,675 Speaker 1: brought out. She was jabbering and laughing as she started 606 00:41:48,675 --> 00:41:51,635 Speaker 1: to help him off with his coat. No, no, he said, 607 00:41:52,275 --> 00:41:55,595 Speaker 1: I'll put it here. He took it off and put 608 00:41:55,635 --> 00:41:58,115 Speaker 1: it on a chair near the door. Your hat and 609 00:41:58,155 --> 00:42:02,275 Speaker 1: gloves too, She said, you're in a lady's house. He 610 00:42:02,355 --> 00:42:05,115 Speaker 1: put his hat on top of the coat. Missus Barrows 611 00:42:05,155 --> 00:42:09,355 Speaker 1: seemed larger than he had thought. He kept his gloves on. 612 00:42:10,795 --> 00:42:16,635 Speaker 1: I was passing by, he said, I recognized. Is there 613 00:42:16,675 --> 00:42:22,235 Speaker 1: anyone here? She laughed louder than ever. No, she said, 614 00:42:22,715 --> 00:42:25,715 Speaker 1: we're all alone. You're white. Is a sheet? You funny man? 615 00:42:25,755 --> 00:42:29,115 Speaker 1: Whatever has come over you, I'll mix you a toddy. 616 00:42:29,315 --> 00:42:32,235 Speaker 1: She started toward a door across the room. Scotch and 617 00:42:32,315 --> 00:42:34,595 Speaker 1: so to be all right, But say you don't drink, 618 00:42:34,715 --> 00:42:39,195 Speaker 1: do you? She turned and gave him her amused look. 619 00:42:39,915 --> 00:42:43,635 Speaker 1: Mister Martin pulled himself together. Scotch and soda will be 620 00:42:43,675 --> 00:42:46,675 Speaker 1: all right, he heard himself say. He could hear her 621 00:42:46,795 --> 00:42:50,635 Speaker 1: laughing in the kitchen. Mister Martin looked quickly around the 622 00:42:50,635 --> 00:42:53,835 Speaker 1: living room for the weapon he had counted on finding one. 623 00:42:53,875 --> 00:42:57,355 Speaker 1: There there were and irons, and a poker, and something 624 00:42:57,355 --> 00:42:59,915 Speaker 1: in a corner that looked like an Indian club. None 625 00:42:59,955 --> 00:43:03,395 Speaker 1: of them would do it. Couldn't be that way. He 626 00:43:03,435 --> 00:43:05,955 Speaker 1: began to pace around. He came to a desk. On 627 00:43:05,995 --> 00:43:08,675 Speaker 1: it lay a metal paper knife with an ornate handle. 628 00:43:08,915 --> 00:43:11,555 Speaker 1: Would it be sharp enough? He reached for it and 629 00:43:11,635 --> 00:43:15,275 Speaker 1: knocked over a small brass jar. Stamps spilled out of 630 00:43:15,315 --> 00:43:18,715 Speaker 1: it and fell onto the floor with a clatter. Hey, missus, 631 00:43:18,715 --> 00:43:21,435 Speaker 1: Barrows yelled from the kitchen. Are you tearing up the 632 00:43:21,475 --> 00:43:27,395 Speaker 1: pea patch? Mister Martin gave a strange laugh. Picking up 633 00:43:27,395 --> 00:43:29,835 Speaker 1: the knife, he tried its point against his left wrist. 634 00:43:29,875 --> 00:43:36,835 Speaker 1: It was blunt. It wouldn't do. When Missus Barrows reappeared 635 00:43:36,875 --> 00:43:40,435 Speaker 1: carrying two high balls, mister Martin, standing there with his 636 00:43:40,515 --> 00:43:44,195 Speaker 1: gloves on, became acutely conscious of the fantasy. He had 637 00:43:44,235 --> 00:43:49,075 Speaker 1: wrought cigarettes in his pocket, a drink prepared for him. 638 00:43:49,235 --> 00:43:53,875 Speaker 1: It was all too grossly improbable. It was more than that, 639 00:43:54,035 --> 00:44:00,115 Speaker 1: it was impossible. Somewhere in the back of his mind, 640 00:44:01,035 --> 00:44:07,795 Speaker 1: a vague idea stirred sprouted. For heaven's sake, take off 641 00:44:07,835 --> 00:44:12,435 Speaker 1: those gloves, said Missus Barrows. I always wear them in 642 00:44:12,475 --> 00:44:18,395 Speaker 1: the house, said mister Martin. The idea began to bloom, 643 00:44:18,995 --> 00:44:23,195 Speaker 1: strange and wonderful. She put the glasses on a coffee 644 00:44:23,235 --> 00:44:25,435 Speaker 1: table in front of a sofa and sat on the sofa. 645 00:44:25,555 --> 00:44:29,635 Speaker 1: Come over here, you odd little man, she said. Mister 646 00:44:29,675 --> 00:44:32,515 Speaker 1: Martin went over and sat beside her. It was difficult 647 00:44:32,515 --> 00:44:34,435 Speaker 1: getting a cigarette out of the pack of camels, but 648 00:44:34,475 --> 00:44:37,035 Speaker 1: he managed it. She held a match for him, laughing, 649 00:44:38,155 --> 00:44:41,755 Speaker 1: she said, handing him his drink. This is perfectly marvelous, 650 00:44:42,235 --> 00:44:48,355 Speaker 1: you with a drink and a cigarette. Mister Martin puffed, 651 00:44:49,075 --> 00:44:52,955 Speaker 1: not too awkwardly, and took a gulp of the highball. 652 00:44:53,795 --> 00:44:56,915 Speaker 1: I drink and smoke all the time, he said. He 653 00:44:56,955 --> 00:45:00,955 Speaker 1: clinked his glass against hers. Here's nuts to that old 654 00:45:01,035 --> 00:45:04,795 Speaker 1: wind bag fit whiler, he said, and gulped again. The 655 00:45:04,795 --> 00:45:09,315 Speaker 1: stuff tasted awful, but he made no grimace. Really, mister Martin, 656 00:45:09,515 --> 00:45:12,755 Speaker 1: she said, her voice and posture changing, you are insulting 657 00:45:12,835 --> 00:45:19,115 Speaker 1: our employer. Missus Barrows was now all special advisor to 658 00:45:19,155 --> 00:45:23,475 Speaker 1: the President. I am preparing a bomb, said mister Martin, 659 00:45:24,155 --> 00:45:28,635 Speaker 1: which will blow the old goat higher than hell. He 660 00:45:28,715 --> 00:45:30,555 Speaker 1: had only had a little of the drink, which was 661 00:45:30,555 --> 00:45:34,315 Speaker 1: not strong. It couldn't be that. Do you take dope 662 00:45:34,395 --> 00:45:40,435 Speaker 1: or something, Missus Barrows asked coldly. Heroine said, mister Martin, 663 00:45:40,915 --> 00:45:43,635 Speaker 1: I'll be coked to the gills when I bumped that 664 00:45:43,715 --> 00:45:48,275 Speaker 1: old buzzard off. Mister Martin, she shouted, getting to her feet, 665 00:45:48,475 --> 00:45:50,635 Speaker 1: that will be all of that. You must go at once. 666 00:45:51,995 --> 00:45:55,035 Speaker 1: Mister Martin took another swallow of the drink. He tapped 667 00:45:55,035 --> 00:45:57,275 Speaker 1: his cigarette out in the ash tray and put the 668 00:45:57,315 --> 00:45:59,555 Speaker 1: pack of camels on the coffee table. Then he got up. 669 00:46:00,555 --> 00:46:03,435 Speaker 1: She stood glaring at him. He walked over and put 670 00:46:03,475 --> 00:46:07,195 Speaker 1: on his hat and coat. Not a word about this, 671 00:46:07,755 --> 00:46:10,635 Speaker 1: he said, and laid an index finger against his lips. 672 00:46:11,235 --> 00:46:15,635 Speaker 1: All missus Barrows could bring out was a really Mister 673 00:46:15,675 --> 00:46:19,755 Speaker 1: Martin put his hand on the doorknob, sitting in the 674 00:46:19,795 --> 00:46:24,995 Speaker 1: catbird's seat, he said, he stuck his tongue out at 675 00:46:25,035 --> 00:46:32,635 Speaker 1: her and left. Nobody saw him go. Mister Martin got 676 00:46:32,635 --> 00:46:36,075 Speaker 1: to his apartment walking well before eleven. No one saw 677 00:46:36,155 --> 00:46:38,675 Speaker 1: him go in. He had two glasses of milk after 678 00:46:38,675 --> 00:46:42,515 Speaker 1: brushing his teeth, and he felt elated. It wasn't tipsy 679 00:46:42,555 --> 00:46:45,475 Speaker 1: in is because he hadn't been tipsy anyway. The walk 680 00:46:45,515 --> 00:46:48,595 Speaker 1: had worn off all effects of the whiskey. He got 681 00:46:48,595 --> 00:46:50,835 Speaker 1: in bed and read a magazine for a while. He 682 00:46:50,995 --> 00:46:55,755 Speaker 1: was asleep before midnight. Mister Martin got to the office 683 00:46:55,795 --> 00:46:58,275 Speaker 1: at eight thirty the next morning as usual. At a 684 00:46:58,355 --> 00:47:00,995 Speaker 1: quarter to nine, old Jean Barrows, who had never before 685 00:47:01,115 --> 00:47:04,235 Speaker 1: arrived at work before ten, swept into his office. I'm 686 00:47:04,315 --> 00:47:07,675 Speaker 1: the party to mister Fitwaler now, she shouted. If he 687 00:47:07,795 --> 00:47:10,075 Speaker 1: turns you over to the police, it's no more than 688 00:47:10,115 --> 00:47:14,435 Speaker 1: you deserve. Mister Martin gave her a look of shocked surprise. 689 00:47:15,475 --> 00:47:19,755 Speaker 1: I beg your pardon, he said. Missus Barrow snorted and 690 00:47:19,835 --> 00:47:22,035 Speaker 1: bounced out of the room, leaving miss paird and Joey 691 00:47:22,035 --> 00:47:26,555 Speaker 1: Hart staring after her. What's the matter with that old devil, now, 692 00:47:26,955 --> 00:47:30,915 Speaker 1: asked Miss Paired. I have no idea, said mister Martin, 693 00:47:30,955 --> 00:47:33,755 Speaker 1: resuming his work. The other two looked at him, and 694 00:47:33,795 --> 00:47:36,635 Speaker 1: then at each other. Miss Paired got up and went out. 695 00:47:36,835 --> 00:47:40,715 Speaker 1: She walked slowly past the closed door of mister Fitwiler's office. 696 00:47:41,355 --> 00:47:44,715 Speaker 1: Missus Barrows was yelling inside, but she was not braying. 697 00:47:45,155 --> 00:47:47,275 Speaker 1: Miss Paired could not hear what the woman was saying. 698 00:47:47,635 --> 00:47:52,555 Speaker 1: She went back to her desk. Forty five minutes later, 699 00:47:52,595 --> 00:47:55,475 Speaker 1: Missus Barrows left the President's office and went into her own, 700 00:47:55,555 --> 00:47:58,635 Speaker 1: shutting the door. It wasn't until half an hour later 701 00:47:58,675 --> 00:48:01,235 Speaker 1: that mister Fitwiler sent for mister Martin, the head of 702 00:48:01,275 --> 00:48:04,555 Speaker 1: the filing department. Neat quiet, attentive, stood in front of 703 00:48:04,715 --> 00:48:09,315 Speaker 1: the old man's desk. Mister Fitweiler was pale and nervous. 704 00:48:10,355 --> 00:48:12,635 Speaker 1: He took his glasses off and twiddled them. He made 705 00:48:12,635 --> 00:48:18,115 Speaker 1: a small ruffing sound in his throat. Martin, he said, 706 00:48:18,915 --> 00:48:23,115 Speaker 1: you have been with us more than twenty years. Twenty two, sir, 707 00:48:23,275 --> 00:48:28,155 Speaker 1: said mister Martin, in that time pursued the President. Your 708 00:48:28,235 --> 00:48:34,075 Speaker 1: work and your manner have been exemplary. I trust so, sir, 709 00:48:34,315 --> 00:48:38,555 Speaker 1: said mister Martin. I have understood, Martin, said mister Fitwaller, 710 00:48:38,835 --> 00:48:42,035 Speaker 1: that you have never taken a drink or smoked. That 711 00:48:42,155 --> 00:48:48,155 Speaker 1: is correct, sir, said mister Martin. Ah yes, mister Fitwiler 712 00:48:48,235 --> 00:48:52,595 Speaker 1: polished his glasses. You may describe what you did after 713 00:48:52,675 --> 00:48:57,755 Speaker 1: leaving the office yesterday, Martin, he said, certainly, sir, he said, 714 00:48:58,155 --> 00:49:01,635 Speaker 1: I walked home. Then I went to Shafts for dinner. Afterward, 715 00:49:01,835 --> 00:49:03,995 Speaker 1: I walked home again. I went to bed early, sir, 716 00:49:04,035 --> 00:49:06,035 Speaker 1: and read a magaze for a while. I was asleep 717 00:49:06,035 --> 00:49:13,595 Speaker 1: before eleven. Ah. Yes, said mister Fitwiler. Again. He was 718 00:49:13,635 --> 00:49:16,195 Speaker 1: silent for a moment, searching for the proper words to 719 00:49:16,235 --> 00:49:20,515 Speaker 1: say to the head of the filing department, Missus Barrows. 720 00:49:21,315 --> 00:49:26,755 Speaker 1: He said, finally, Missus Barrows has worked hard, Martin, very hard. 721 00:49:27,595 --> 00:49:29,715 Speaker 1: It brings me to report that she has suffered a 722 00:49:29,715 --> 00:49:33,515 Speaker 1: severe breakdown. It has taken the form of a persecution 723 00:49:33,675 --> 00:49:40,995 Speaker 1: complex accompanied by distressing hallucinations. I'm very sorry, sir, said 724 00:49:40,995 --> 00:49:46,755 Speaker 1: mister Martin. Missus Barrows is under the delusion, continued mister Fitwiler, 725 00:49:46,995 --> 00:49:51,435 Speaker 1: that you visited her last evening and behaved yourself in 726 00:49:51,435 --> 00:49:56,635 Speaker 1: an unseemly manner. He raised his hand to silence mister 727 00:49:56,635 --> 00:49:59,915 Speaker 1: Martin's little, pained outcry. It is the nature of these 728 00:50:00,195 --> 00:50:05,155 Speaker 1: psychological diseases, mister Fitwiler said, to fix upon the least 729 00:50:05,275 --> 00:50:09,595 Speaker 1: likely and most innocent party is the source of persecution. 730 00:50:10,595 --> 00:50:13,915 Speaker 1: These matters are not for the lay mind to grasp, Martin. 731 00:50:14,435 --> 00:50:17,475 Speaker 1: I've just had my psychiatrist, doctor Fitch, on the phone. 732 00:50:17,875 --> 00:50:20,835 Speaker 1: He would not, of course commit himself, but he made 733 00:50:20,915 --> 00:50:26,875 Speaker 1: enough generalizations to substantiate my suspicions. I suggested to missus Barrows, 734 00:50:27,515 --> 00:50:32,515 Speaker 1: when she had completed her story to me this morning, 735 00:50:32,635 --> 00:50:37,155 Speaker 1: that she visited doctor Fitch for I suspected a condition. 736 00:50:37,195 --> 00:50:39,955 Speaker 1: At once sentence, she flew, I regret to say, into 737 00:50:39,995 --> 00:50:45,115 Speaker 1: a rage and demanded requested that I call you on 738 00:50:45,235 --> 00:50:49,235 Speaker 1: the carpet. You may not know, Martin, but Missus Barrows 739 00:50:49,235 --> 00:50:53,715 Speaker 1: had planned a reorganization of your department, subject to my approval. 740 00:50:53,755 --> 00:50:57,195 Speaker 1: Of course, subject to my approval. This brought you, rather 741 00:50:57,275 --> 00:51:00,555 Speaker 1: than anyone else, to her mind. But again, that is 742 00:51:00,595 --> 00:51:04,675 Speaker 1: a phenomenon for doctor Fitch and not for us. So Martin, 743 00:51:05,075 --> 00:51:09,635 Speaker 1: I'm afraid Missus Barrow's usefulness here is at an end. 744 00:51:11,595 --> 00:51:16,395 Speaker 1: I'm dreadfully sorry, sir, said mister Martin. It was at 745 00:51:16,395 --> 00:51:19,875 Speaker 1: this point that the door to the office blew open 746 00:51:19,915 --> 00:51:23,275 Speaker 1: with the suddenness of a gas main explosion, and Missus 747 00:51:23,275 --> 00:51:26,835 Speaker 1: Barrows catapulted through. It is the little rad denying it, 748 00:51:27,195 --> 00:51:31,155 Speaker 1: she screamed. He can't get away with that. Mister Martin 749 00:51:31,195 --> 00:51:33,995 Speaker 1: got up and moved discreetly to a point beside mister 750 00:51:33,995 --> 00:51:38,355 Speaker 1: Fitwailer's chair. You drank and smoked at my apartment, she 751 00:51:38,475 --> 00:51:40,755 Speaker 1: bawled at mister Martin, and you know it. You called 752 00:51:40,795 --> 00:51:43,515 Speaker 1: mister Fitweer an old wind bag and said you were 753 00:51:43,515 --> 00:51:45,595 Speaker 1: gonna blow him up when you got coked to your 754 00:51:45,675 --> 00:51:50,715 Speaker 1: gills on your heroine. She stopped yelling to catch her breath, 755 00:51:50,755 --> 00:51:53,955 Speaker 1: and a new glint came into her popping eyes. If 756 00:51:53,995 --> 00:51:57,635 Speaker 1: you weren't set to drab, ordinary little man, she said, 757 00:51:58,235 --> 00:52:02,435 Speaker 1: I'd think you'd planned it all, sticking your tongue out, 758 00:52:02,715 --> 00:52:05,475 Speaker 1: saying you were sitting in the cat burried seat because 759 00:52:05,755 --> 00:52:08,435 Speaker 1: you thought no one would believe me when I told it. 760 00:52:09,315 --> 00:52:15,315 Speaker 1: My god, it's really too perfect, she brayed loudly and hysterically, 761 00:52:15,475 --> 00:52:17,675 Speaker 1: and the fury was on her again. She glared at 762 00:52:17,675 --> 00:52:18,555 Speaker 1: mister Fitweiler. 763 00:52:19,075 --> 00:52:22,315 Speaker 2: Can't you see how he has checked us, You old fool, 764 00:52:23,155 --> 00:52:24,715 Speaker 2: can't you see his little game? 765 00:52:26,275 --> 00:52:29,835 Speaker 1: But mister Fitwiler had been surreptitiously pressing all the buttons 766 00:52:29,955 --> 00:52:32,555 Speaker 1: under the top of his desk, and employees of F 767 00:52:32,595 --> 00:52:36,875 Speaker 1: and S began pouring into the room. Stockton said, Missus Fitchwiler, 768 00:52:37,195 --> 00:52:39,955 Speaker 1: you and Fishbine will take missus Barrows to her home. 769 00:52:40,435 --> 00:52:43,515 Speaker 1: Missus Powell, you will go with them. Stockton, who had 770 00:52:43,515 --> 00:52:46,435 Speaker 1: played a little football in high school, blocked Missus Barrows 771 00:52:46,475 --> 00:52:49,075 Speaker 1: as she made for mister Martin. It took him and 772 00:52:49,115 --> 00:52:52,075 Speaker 1: fish Mine together to force her out of the door 773 00:52:52,155 --> 00:52:56,115 Speaker 1: into the hall crowded with stenographers and office boys. She 774 00:52:56,235 --> 00:53:01,315 Speaker 1: was still screaming imprecations at mister Martin. Tangled and contradictory imprecations. 775 00:53:01,595 --> 00:53:07,515 Speaker 1: The hubbub finally died out on the corridor. I regret 776 00:53:07,595 --> 00:53:12,115 Speaker 1: that this has happened, said mister Fitwiler. I shall ask 777 00:53:12,155 --> 00:53:15,915 Speaker 1: you to dismiss it from your mind. Martin. Yes, sir, 778 00:53:16,315 --> 00:53:19,955 Speaker 1: said mister Martin, anticipating his chiefs. That will be all. 779 00:53:21,075 --> 00:53:26,635 Speaker 1: By moving to the door, I will dismiss it. He 780 00:53:26,715 --> 00:53:29,875 Speaker 1: went out and shut the door, and his step was 781 00:53:29,995 --> 00:53:34,115 Speaker 1: light and quick in the hall. When he entered his department, 782 00:53:34,155 --> 00:53:36,915 Speaker 1: he had slowed down to his customary gate, and he 783 00:53:36,955 --> 00:53:42,235 Speaker 1: walked quietly across the room to the double twenty file, 784 00:53:43,395 --> 00:53:50,195 Speaker 1: wearing a look of studious concentration. From the Thurber connival 785 00:53:50,595 --> 00:54:07,555 Speaker 1: The Catbird Seat by James Thurber, I've done all the 786 00:54:07,595 --> 00:54:09,715 Speaker 1: damage I can do here. Countdown has come to you 787 00:54:09,755 --> 00:54:12,875 Speaker 1: from the Vin Scully Studio at the world headquarters of 788 00:54:12,875 --> 00:54:16,475 Speaker 1: the Olderman Broadcasting Empire in New York. Here are the credits. 789 00:54:16,555 --> 00:54:19,275 Speaker 1: Most of the music was arranged, produced and performed by 790 00:54:19,275 --> 00:54:21,195 Speaker 1: Brian Ray and John Phillip Shaneale, who are O the 791 00:54:21,275 --> 00:54:25,755 Speaker 1: Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards by John Phillip Shaneale. 792 00:54:25,915 --> 00:54:30,075 Speaker 1: Guitars based on drums by Brian Ray, produced by Tko Brothers. 793 00:54:30,275 --> 00:54:32,755 Speaker 1: Other Beethoven selections have been arranged and performed by the 794 00:54:32,795 --> 00:54:36,075 Speaker 1: group No Horns Allowed. The sports music is the Olderman 795 00:54:36,155 --> 00:54:38,915 Speaker 1: theme from ESPN two and it was written by Mitch 796 00:54:38,955 --> 00:54:42,555 Speaker 1: Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN, Inc. The musical comments by 797 00:54:42,635 --> 00:54:45,995 Speaker 1: Nancy Fauss, the best baseball stadium organist ever. Our announcer 798 00:54:46,075 --> 00:54:48,595 Speaker 1: was my friend Richard Lewis, and everything else was pretty 799 00:54:48,635 --> 00:54:51,155 Speaker 1: much my fault. So that's countdown for this, the eight 800 00:54:51,275 --> 00:54:54,395 Speaker 1: hundred and eighty fifth day since Donald Trump's first attempted 801 00:54:54,435 --> 00:54:57,355 Speaker 1: coup against the democratically elected government of the United States. 802 00:54:57,675 --> 00:55:00,715 Speaker 1: Don't forget to keep arresting him while we still can. 803 00:55:01,475 --> 00:55:04,435 Speaker 1: The next scheduled countdown is Monday. Till then, I'm Keith 804 00:55:04,435 --> 00:55:07,795 Speaker 1: olber In. Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. 805 00:55:13,035 --> 00:55:19,435 Speaker 1: I god indicted in Miami Ding Dong accounts are gonna 806 00:55:19,595 --> 00:55:25,475 Speaker 1: club book me and bail me, try me and jail me, 807 00:55:25,835 --> 00:55:30,475 Speaker 1: but get me to the trial on time. Thank you, 808 00:55:30,595 --> 00:55:35,515 Speaker 1: Nancy Faust. Countdown with Keith Olreman is a production of iHeartRadio. 809 00:55:35,795 --> 00:55:41,115 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 810 00:55:41,235 --> 00:55:43,395 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.