Speaker 1: Welcome back to Golden Hour, Susan.
Speaker 2: And that makes me Kathy or you doing this great?
Speaker 1: I'm great. I'm counting the days to vacation like summer's here.
Speaker 3: Listen when I come visit you. And for those of
Speaker 3: you who don't know, Susan has a lovely home, but
Speaker 3: she has probably one of the most beautiful backyards with
Speaker 3: the pool that I've ever seen. I want to know,
Speaker 3: are you going to grill for me when I come visit?
Speaker 1: Most definitely? Most definitely the next one.
Speaker 4: Nancy's joining us for a few days, and I've already
Speaker 4: reiterated nance you don't like lamb chops, right, No, you
Speaker 4: could still make that.
Speaker 1: I could have something else.
Speaker 2: And what do I need for dinner, Susan.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, some vodka and almonds.
Speaker 2: Don't forget the.
Speaker 4: Yogurt in the morning. Like she's so easy me. That's
Speaker 4: the only part we're really opposite, because.
Speaker 3: It is that is to live for food. Yeah, so yesterday,
Speaker 3: this is a true story. Susan and I were talking earlier.
Speaker 3: We were talking about meals, and she literally asked me
Speaker 3: what I wanted when I come visitor. I said, I
Speaker 3: don't care. Food is not my thing. I just don't
Speaker 3: really care about it. And Susan says, well, I mean
Speaker 3: you got to eat three meals. I said, Susan, I
Speaker 3: eat one meal. She goes, what are you kidding me?
Speaker 3: I said, well, no, like She goes, what DoD you
Speaker 3: have yesterday? I said, I had a yogurt for breakfast
Speaker 3: and then late in the afternoon I had a kale
Speaker 3: salad with some chicken on it, and that was my.
Speaker 2: Food for this. She goes, you can't be serious. I
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, she goes, you have to eat three meals.
Speaker 2: I could never really survive.
Speaker 1: I would not survive.
Speaker 3: The other difference is Susan cooks and I don't. But
Speaker 3: you know, everyone enjoy it.
Speaker 1: I enjoy it.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: Well, let's get to our news.
Speaker 4: Yes, let's do it. We had a big week in
Speaker 4: bacheloration news. Let's start with my love, my Rachel. Rachel
Speaker 4: Nits recalls blacking out after traumatic experience working as a nurse.
Speaker 4: Wait all know she's a great nurse, and we also
Speaker 4: all know that nursing is one tough job.
Speaker 1: For me.
Speaker 4: I could never do it because I would take everybody's problems.
Speaker 1: Home with me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but can you stand the sight of blood.
Speaker 1: Yes, I cut you open.
Speaker 2: I'll be there to Yeah, I believe that. Here's the thing.
Speaker 3: Rachel says that, you know, nursing over stimulates her and
Speaker 3: when she's home, she hears, hears hospital alarms. She has
Speaker 3: a lot of anxiety, heart racing, all those things.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 3: I know, Rachel, not as well as you, but I
Speaker 3: imagine nursing is very stressful. But we all know medical
Speaker 3: the medical world today is stretched family, and I'm glad Rachel,
Speaker 3: thank you for still being a nurse, because we need more.
Speaker 1: She said that she blacked out during the pilates.
Speaker 2: I think it's this the stress. I think people you sure.
Speaker 4: It wasn't like out for a minute and her work
Speaker 4: was overwhelming her at that moment.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I wasn't there, but I mean I think when you
Speaker 3: are really stressed and you work out a lot, you
Speaker 3: can you can black out, you can, you know, for
Speaker 3: a minute. I'm not sure it's to distress. That's she's
Speaker 3: a nurse. That's what she seems to think.
Speaker 2: What I do like, though, is yay you Rachel.
Speaker 3: You know you have stressed, you know you have anxiety,
Speaker 3: and you get yourself some exercise because we all know
Speaker 3: exercise reduces anxiety.
Speaker 1: Actually saying that out loud, that's a sign.
Speaker 4: That's that's somebody telling you, yeah, you got to do
Speaker 4: less of something because if you're taking it home with
Speaker 4: you and if it's overwhelming you to the point of like,
Speaker 4: try running in my shoes in a day. I talk
Speaker 4: about stress. As you say, Kathy, what do you say
Speaker 4: to me all the time? You love chaos?
Speaker 3: You Susan love chaos, Susan loves cass and now apparently
Speaker 3: in batchelor of news, Susan loves blood. Okay, let's move
Speaker 3: on to the next one. Carly Waddell posts a message
Speaker 3: for one of her exes in your face. I watched
Speaker 3: this on Instagram. Apparently she.
Speaker 2: Was dating a guy.
Speaker 3: She said this message was for one of her exes,
Speaker 3: and she said, I he told her she couldn't get
Speaker 3: a home or a homelan alone for a home because
Speaker 3: she didn't earn enough money to buy herself a home.
Speaker 3: And she said he made her feel small and stupid.
Speaker 3: And then she dropped the bomb, yay you, Carly, that
Speaker 3: you got approved for the amount. And then she's for
Speaker 3: the home, you know, she.
Speaker 2: Which, yay you.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad you got a proved for it, and
Speaker 3: then she goes in your face, she got a proof
Speaker 3: for the loan to buy the house, in your face.
Speaker 3: So here's what I want to say, and I know
Speaker 3: you have a different opinion. I I think, first all,
Speaker 3: I'm glad, really congratulations Carly that you qualified. Because women
Speaker 3: don't earn what is it, seventy cents on the dollar,
Speaker 3: women on average earn less than men. So the fact
Speaker 3: that you earned enough to qualify by yourself for a
Speaker 3: loan without any cost signers. Yeah you, But I wish
Speaker 3: you would take in the high road and instead of
Speaker 3: screaming at your X on Instagram saying in your face,
Speaker 3: I wish you had taken the high road and invited
Speaker 3: him with a printed invitation to the housewarming. My thought, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: you had another idea. You were talking about sending photos
Speaker 3: of the house.
Speaker 1: I'd stand and pose in front of it. Look what
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted her to invite him and on the
Speaker 3: handwritten calligraphy invitation to this housewarmings say I'd love you
Speaker 3: to come and see the home that I was approved
Speaker 3: for with no coast signers.
Speaker 2: Thank you very.
Speaker 1: That's the same as in your face.
Speaker 4: I'm hoping, I'm really hoping, Carly, that you were in
Speaker 4: the moment you were so excited about getting this loan
Speaker 4: that you blurted that out in your face.
Speaker 3: Well, you know, I think we can all take a lesson,
Speaker 3: which you know when I used to teach public speaking
Speaker 3: to middle schoolers and we talked about internet. You know,
Speaker 3: once you put some on the Internet, it's always there.
Speaker 3: And maybe Carly doesn't care, but I just love the fact.
Speaker 3: I wish we could focus on the fact that she
Speaker 3: qualified for the loan and not smacking him down, because really,
Speaker 3: who cares about him? He's your ex, Carly. We don't
Speaker 3: care about him.
Speaker 1: He'll figure it out, really all right?
Speaker 3: This week we are going to be talking about the situationship,
Speaker 3: which I know, Susan you have struggled with this before,
Speaker 3: but now I'm going to explain a situation ship. A
Speaker 3: situationship is a romantic or sexual connection that lacks formal labels,
Speaker 3: clear boundaries, or long term commitment. It exists in the
Speaker 3: gray area between casual dating and an official relationship. You
Speaker 3: may act like a couple and share emotional intimacy, but
Speaker 3: without the title or mutual exclusivity. Okay, So I mean
Speaker 3: I have never been in a situationship at all.
Speaker 2: But when we were dating, when we.
Speaker 3: Were younger, what was what did we call like, what
Speaker 3: was the equivalent of a situationship when we were young.
Speaker 4: When you're seeing somebody, you're seeing somebody, What is a situationship? Well,
Speaker 4: I know you just read it, but it still doesn't
Speaker 4: make any sense whatsoever if you're in a romantic or
Speaker 4: sexual connection that lacks formal labels. In other words, you
Speaker 4: can't say, okay, we are a couple.
Speaker 3: No, you're acting like a couple, but you're not putting
Speaker 3: a label on it.
Speaker 2: So you're dating someone.
Speaker 3: This is where couples get into try or one of
Speaker 3: one part of the couple, half of the couple. I'm
Speaker 3: dating this guy. I'm really attracted to him. I want
Speaker 3: to move to the next thing. And the next thing
Speaker 3: I'm making this up is living together. But you know,
Speaker 3: you got to say I love you, You got to
Speaker 3: say I'm committed to you. You have to say we're
Speaker 3: in a relationship. A man or a woman, or two
Speaker 3: men two women, whatever your taste is. Can say, listen,
Speaker 3: we're gonna sleep together. We're gonna but you know we're
Speaker 3: not gonna put a label on it. I think that
Speaker 3: that is a way to not define the relationship. It's
Speaker 3: what we call what I call having a long lead
Speaker 3: or a long leash. So, well, we're not in a relationship.
Speaker 3: And I met this guy at the bar, so you know,
Speaker 3: I went home and slept with him. I mean, I
Speaker 3: think that it is a situationship. To me, is a
Speaker 3: moniker for anything goes because we don't have a label
Speaker 3: on it.
Speaker 4: Well, I always have that conversation, mostly before or sex,
Speaker 4: that you're not going to be seeing anybody else. If
Speaker 4: you're not seeing anybody else, and I'm just going to
Speaker 4: say I'm not seeing anybody else, then that doesn't give
Speaker 4: it a title, but it tells us there's a relationship, correct.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, But I don't know. I honestly, I can't speak.
Speaker 3: I mean I had one serious boyfriend in high school.
Speaker 3: I can't really speak, and I had situationship. I had
Speaker 3: male friends, but we weren't having sex. We weren't you know,
Speaker 3: making out back in the day. I mean, it just
Speaker 3: was different. It was it was more of a you know,
Speaker 3: at least in the circles I ran, you know, you
Speaker 3: weren't sleeping around and remember I got married too young,
Speaker 3: so I can't really address this.
Speaker 4: Okay, Kathy, what's one dating rule from our generation that
Speaker 4: would solve half of today's dating problems? Hell? Would I
Speaker 4: entitled it? That's what we weren't on the internet. There
Speaker 4: was the grass wasn't greener. Always next, hurry up, next,
Speaker 4: you just swipe left or right back in our time,
Speaker 4: you met somebody when you're out or through a friend
Speaker 4: or whatever, and you're seeing each other, or you're not
Speaker 4: your boyfriend or girlfriend, or you're not well.
Speaker 2: I don't know that it's a dating rule.
Speaker 3: I do agree with you that the Internet has made
Speaker 3: it easy to have a lot of relationship situationships or
Speaker 3: pure sex, call it whatever you want, but I do
Speaker 3: think that a dating rule from our generation when I
Speaker 3: was younger, and you have to speak to this because
Speaker 3: you weren't married as young as I was, But you
Speaker 3: didn't date if you were in a relationship with someone,
Speaker 3: you weren't in a relationship with somebody else. You finished
Speaker 3: with one before you started another one, unless you were
Speaker 3: a slut.
Speaker 4: And we talked about, yes, we talked about not too
Speaker 4: long ago, dating dating more than one person at a time.
Speaker 1: That's something I never did.
Speaker 4: I don't think I would like it because I want
Speaker 4: to focus on the one person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but let me let me let me say you
Speaker 2: know the guy.
Speaker 3: He shall go nameless. That one guy who you've met.
Speaker 3: Him lives in California. A friend of mine who we dated,
Speaker 3: and he didn't want to date me. And we have
Speaker 3: a great friendship and we joke, you know, we joke
Speaker 3: about traveling together and you know, sharing a bed and
Speaker 3: all that. Do you think I often think about this?
Speaker 3: Could that situationship, which is we have great talks and
Speaker 3: I love him dearly, but we don't have sex. Do
Speaker 3: you think that could ever turn into a I mean,
Speaker 3: you know him.
Speaker 4: Do you think it can you live closer to one
Speaker 4: another that it could very well develop into something because
Speaker 4: I think he was very into you and you like.
Speaker 3: He always asks about Nancy. Him, He always asks about Nancy.
Speaker 3: Trust me, I love him.
Speaker 2: But I couldn't have to do with the price because.
Speaker 3: I don't date. I'm not dating a man who wants
Speaker 3: to date somebody else. Let's be clear.
Speaker 1: Well, who said he wanted to date somebody else?
Speaker 2: He this guy?
Speaker 3: You met him when we were in Palm Springs. Okay,
Speaker 3: he he literally when we talk on the phone, he'll
Speaker 3: if I say him coming out to California, you're bringing Nancy.
Speaker 2: I haven't heard from her. He's always asking about Nancy.
Speaker 1: That's different.
Speaker 4: Okay, what's dating behavior today?
Speaker 1: Would have shocked your younger.
Speaker 3: Oh that's so easy for me because I talk about
Speaker 3: this with my daughter all the time. The fact that
Speaker 3: it's all cooking up. It's like people have sex on
Speaker 3: the first date. Uh that it's it. Sex is part
Speaker 3: of getting to know someone, as opposed to an enhancement
Speaker 3: for a for a a single you know, a relationship
Speaker 3: with somebody.
Speaker 1: I think. I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, it's like, it's part of getting to
Speaker 3: know someone, as opposed to we have such a special relationship,
Speaker 3: we're ready to take that step. I know so many
Speaker 3: people who sleep with the guy the first or second date.
Speaker 5: They're like, yeah, why don't think they don't think anything
Speaker 5: that is probably the biggest situationships are a result of
Speaker 5: technology or human nature.
Speaker 3: I can't you know, I'm going to take so much
Speaker 3: heat of I answer this. Okay, everyone, I grew up
Speaker 3: in New England, you know, with the Puritans landed on
Speaker 3: Plymouth Rock, and everyone dressed with collars up to their
Speaker 3: you know, ear lobes. I think that that I'm not
Speaker 3: saying it's wrong. I'm saying that the and it's not.
Speaker 3: I hate the word that my parents use would be promiscuity.
Speaker 3: I'm not using that word. I think that people today
Speaker 3: are so open about sexuality, and I'm fine with it,
Speaker 3: but I think that that has created a such a
Speaker 3: what do I want to say? Deep dimensions, created so
Speaker 3: many different scenarios, that's really what I want to say,
Speaker 3: so many different scenarios. I was talking to someone yesterday
Speaker 3: who is married. They're in an open marriage. It's just
Speaker 3: it's too complex for me.
Speaker 4: That's because of our error too. That's not how we
Speaker 4: were raised. We didn't think that way. If you slept
Speaker 4: around with, you slept with more than one person, you
Speaker 4: had a name, a reputation, a bad reputation. Today there's
Speaker 4: no such thing as a reputation for anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, although I don't know, I don't see. That's why
Speaker 3: I say that's puritanical to say those kinds of things,
Speaker 3: like or caller a slut. That's what we called girls
Speaker 3: in high school who had sex. Now, oh my god, seriously,
Speaker 3: I mean.
Speaker 1: Everybody's a slut. All right, we're gonna do some story time.
Speaker 2: Okay, go for it, slut.
Speaker 1: Okay, Cathy, tell me a time when you ignored.
Speaker 4: I doubt you're gonna be able to answer this a
Speaker 4: red flag because you really.
Speaker 2: Liked some one, the guy that we talked about earlier, that.
Speaker 1: I want for fifteen minutes at all.
Speaker 3: No, I saw the red flag within a week to
Speaker 3: ten days, and I and I spent two and a
Speaker 3: half months and the and to me, it was a
Speaker 3: red flag.
Speaker 2: But here's the thing.
Speaker 3: You you can only ignore. I you can only ignore
Speaker 3: a red flag so long. And if if you, if
Speaker 3: you see the red flag and you insist on staying
Speaker 3: on that road, then you know it's your problem. I mean,
Speaker 3: you really like someone, how's that working for you? I
Speaker 3: don't have a lot of sympathy for that. I know
Speaker 3: I'm gonna take heat.
Speaker 2: What do you think?
Speaker 1: Oh, you're not gonna take here. You just are who
Speaker 1: you are.
Speaker 4: I ignored so many red flags.
Speaker 2: But Susan, has it brought you trouble? Here's the question, not.
Speaker 4: Trouble, but sad for them, because at the end I bail.
Speaker 1: I you know I should recognize it and say.
Speaker 2: Oh, no, you do recognize it.
Speaker 4: I do recognize it, but I should walk away, and
Speaker 4: I don't.
Speaker 1: I always think I could fix it.
Speaker 4: I can make it better, and you can't change the
Speaker 4: color of the flat.
Speaker 2: So I know you've said this. You just said it.
Speaker 3: You know it's a red flag. You go down the
Speaker 3: road anyway. Do you ever see a time where you
Speaker 3: could not do that, where you would say, you know what,
Speaker 3: I'm going to do it differently this time. I'm not
Speaker 3: going to go down the road because I see the
Speaker 3: red flash.
Speaker 1: I say it, but I don't do it.
Speaker 2: So you don't think you're capable of doing it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm capable.
Speaker 2: I believe see. I think my.
Speaker 4: Brain realizes and then I talk myself into some things
Speaker 4: like I recognize something and say, well, could you maybe.
Speaker 1: It's not that bad, and you know, like it's terrible, or.
Speaker 4: I'd be alone forever because nobody is perfect out there.
Speaker 1: Yes, but everybody has a little bit of a flag.
Speaker 3: Yes, but there's red Flas we've talked about this, there's
Speaker 3: a red flag of gott He always least his sink,
Speaker 3: dishes in the sink, and the other pick up his socks.
Speaker 3: That you know, well, some people think that's a red flag,
Speaker 3: but you know, on the phone with his ex girlfriend
Speaker 3: or there's a lot of other examples I could give
Speaker 3: are red flags that aren't going to change.
Speaker 2: And I guess that's what.
Speaker 1: You see when somebody's controlling and jealousy.
Speaker 4: That a red flag, like a physical thing that I
Speaker 4: think that that I could.
Speaker 1: Make up my mind really quick. It just depends on
Speaker 1: what it is.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I'm going to say when I say you,
Speaker 3: I don't mean necessarily you, Susan. If you all out there,
Speaker 3: if you don't share common values, common beliefs. I'm not
Speaker 3: talking necessarily religious beliefs, just the way you want to
Speaker 3: live your life. Work out that if you don't share
Speaker 3: those things, that's a red flag and it's not going
Speaker 3: to change. I don't care how much you like the person.
Speaker 3: So I'm not is generous of spirit because I feel like,
Speaker 3: especially at our age, once you see red flags and
Speaker 3: you keep going down the same road, it's like, do
Speaker 3: you ever learn your lete? Not you, Susan. I'm not
Speaker 3: saying this at you to people. I know so many
Speaker 3: people our age and they keep doing the same thing,
Speaker 3: and then they're like, I'm never going to find someone.
Speaker 3: I'm like, well, you know, you keep drawing water from
Speaker 3: the same Well, keep doing what you've been doing. Here's
Speaker 3: my line, Susan, keep doing what you've been doing.
Speaker 2: You're going to keep getting what you've been getting.
Speaker 4: Remember that saying you keep doing the same thing over
Speaker 4: and over again and expecting a different result.
Speaker 1: That's the definition of insanity.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Well, speaking of insanity, here we go. We're gonna do
Speaker 3: some full in the blank and see what.
Speaker 2: Here we go.
Speaker 3: All right, if someone says they're not ready for a relationship,
Speaker 3: they really.
Speaker 1: Mean they're just not that into you.
Speaker 2: Thank you. I agree.
Speaker 1: Okay. The biggest red flag in modern dating is.
Speaker 2: Too many choices the internet dating apps. I don't know.
Speaker 2: That's I don't know if that's good.
Speaker 1: The first thing that comes to mind. That's the whole
Speaker 1: idea of a game. All right.
Speaker 3: If oh, if I haven't met your friends by month three.
Speaker 1: I'm concerned.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say, if I haven't met your not yours.
Speaker 3: But if I'm dating a guy, if I haven't met
Speaker 3: your friends by month three, I'm probably not gonna be
Speaker 3: your girlfriend very long.
Speaker 4: Or you don't have any Okay, the situation becomes a
Speaker 4: relationship when.
Speaker 3: Both of you agree to commit and put a label
Speaker 3: on the relationship communication Baby Okay. The phrase I good
Speaker 3: for good luck on this one season. The phrase I
Speaker 3: never want to hear from a man again is.
Speaker 1: I'm a deer and head laid. No, I I was gona.
Speaker 1: I love that I was gona.
Speaker 2: I would add to that one I used to.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: The most confusing thing about dating today is.
Speaker 3: For me, people say they want one thing and they
Speaker 3: really want something else.
Speaker 1: So true, so true.
Speaker 3: I know we can both write a book, but in
Speaker 3: the meantime, we're going to answer questions from our listeners.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go with the first one here. I've been
Speaker 3: dating someone for a few months and things are good.
Speaker 3: But I've noticed that whenever something bothers me, I hesitate
Speaker 3: to bring it up because I don't want to seem difficult.
Speaker 3: I end up brushing things off, but then they build
Speaker 3: up over time. How do I get better at communicating
Speaker 3: without feeling like I'm rocking the boat? This is from
Speaker 3: Kelsey and Dallas.
Speaker 2: What do you think isn't a few months and things
Speaker 2: are good?
Speaker 1: When stuff this sounds like you no, not anymore?
Speaker 4: I bring it up though, Okay, that was the old me.
Speaker 4: Because what happens in my relationships, I end up resenting people,
Speaker 4: and it's mostly because I didn't communicate what I was feeling.
Speaker 1: Like, I'm not good.
Speaker 4: With this when when you're doing these things, I get
Speaker 4: I'm not blaming them for doing something. However, they need
Speaker 4: to know what I feel. Yeah, and it bothers me
Speaker 4: certain things.
Speaker 3: Well, well, Kelsey says, how do I get better communicating
Speaker 3: without feeling like I'm rocking the boat? See that's the problem, Kelsey.
Speaker 3: You are a smart woman, no doubt, and you are
Speaker 3: an equal partner in this relationship. So to use your metaphor,
Speaker 3: both people should have their ores in the water rowing
Speaker 3: and if you're doing all the row.
Speaker 2: Yeah, not good. So I would tell you.
Speaker 3: Bring it up to him, because otherwise, like a bitch,
Speaker 3: way just say I got to talk to you about
Speaker 3: something like it'd be nice about it.
Speaker 1: But if you don't, you'll end up resenting him.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: To let things go, and they repeat and they repeat.
Speaker 1: That's what happens.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so take it rocket boat all right.
Speaker 4: This one's from Gabriella from New Orleans. I'm seeing someone
Speaker 4: who was really fun and exciting, but I've started to
Speaker 4: notice that a lot of our connection revolves around going out, drinking.
Speaker 1: And being social. When it's just the two of us
Speaker 1: in a quieter setting, it feels a little less natural.
Speaker 1: Is that something that can grow or is it a
Speaker 1: sign the connection is more surface level? It feels a
Speaker 1: little less natural when you're alone.
Speaker 3: I think so what I'm hearing from Gabriella is she's
Speaker 3: seen someone who is really fun and exciting. She isn't
Speaker 3: saying I'm seeing someone who is carrying and considerate party guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but she but she says, I've started to
Speaker 3: notice that a lot of our connection. That's probably the
Speaker 3: aora she's giving off. She's a party girl, and if
Speaker 3: you're not that way, Garbriella, if you're drinking partying with him,
Speaker 3: that's the that's the message you've sent him, that that's
Speaker 3: the kind of relationship you want.
Speaker 1: You suggest she does in a quieter setting.
Speaker 4: I think when you're in a quieter setting, it should be less.
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: I think she likes the excitement and when they're alone,
Speaker 3: When you're alone, Garbriella, it should be quieter and calmer
Speaker 3: and a time to reflect on each other and what
Speaker 3: you want out of a relationship, which could be a situationship.
Speaker 4: But I'm saying, she asked, is that something that can
Speaker 4: grow to be alone with somebody, that's the best part.
Speaker 4: You talk about the fun you had, you talk about
Speaker 4: what you're going to do next.
Speaker 1: You make love, you make each other food.
Speaker 3: Like I'm guessing Gabriella is struggles. She's much better in
Speaker 3: a party atmosphere than she is one on one. I think, Gabriela,
Speaker 3: this may be something you need to work on because
Speaker 3: if you're feeling unnatural, that's another word for that, is uncomfortable,
Speaker 3: And it tells me that you probably don't know how
Speaker 3: to deal in a one on one situation calmly and lovingly.
Speaker 3: Not that you don't, aren't that person, You just probably
Speaker 3: more of your time has been spent partying, drinking, socialize, throwing,
Speaker 3: dark plain pool.
Speaker 4: It's great when you're out and about and having a
Speaker 4: great time and then you go home together.
Speaker 1: That's that's important too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but maybe she's nervous. Gabriella, you sound like you're
Speaker 3: a little nervous. So try it, you know, try coming
Speaker 3: home and having a conversation maybe instead of going out say,
Speaker 3: why don't we cook a meal? Try being learning to
Speaker 3: be more comfortable with spending time alone with your guy
Speaker 3: and see if then you write back in and say,
Speaker 3: not only is this guy fun and exciting, but I've
Speaker 3: seen a caring, comfortable side. We have so much fun
Speaker 3: laughing together and sharing stories, building a better relationship with
Speaker 3: each other instead of a party atmosphere. There you go, Gabriella,
Speaker 3: good luck let us know. Okay, the next one is
Speaker 3: from Anna or Anna from Orlando. I've been dating this
Speaker 3: guy for two months and everything has been really consistent.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 3: He texts me every day, plans dates in advance, and
Speaker 3: even introduced me to a few of his friends. But
Speaker 3: recently he went on a trip with his friends and
Speaker 3: barely texted me the entire time. When he got back,
Speaker 3: he acted totally normal, like nothing changed. Am I overreacting
Speaker 3: for feeling weird about the sudden shift in communication?
Speaker 2: Oh? What do you think now?
Speaker 1: That's perfectly normal human.
Speaker 4: He's the one that texts you all the time, and
Speaker 4: I would have to say to him, can I I'm
Speaker 4: really glad you had a good time with your friends. However,
Speaker 4: it felt pretty shitty that you didn't communicate I'm not
Speaker 4: expecting you.
Speaker 2: She did communicate.
Speaker 3: She said he barely texted, So yes, that's what I'm saying. Oh,
Speaker 3: I think I think if you're on a girls trip
Speaker 3: a guy. Again, we don't know what barely means. Maybe
Speaker 3: he sends maybe Anna.
Speaker 1: He sends it just long text day normally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe he sends long text and maybe the text
Speaker 3: wy was on vacation with Hey, sweet, he miss you.
Speaker 3: That's in my book, that would be enough.
Speaker 4: If he reached God, let's touch face, that's all good
Speaker 4: night or goodm mor Yeah, and I bet he did that.
Speaker 2: I bet he did that.
Speaker 3: So, Anna, I think you're feeling a little if he's
Speaker 3: texting you all the time when he's around in your home.
Speaker 3: I think you're probably open overreacting on this one. But
Speaker 3: you know, if you feel it's not a sudden shift.
Speaker 3: By the way, it was just a shift while he
Speaker 3: was vacation.
Speaker 2: With his friends.
Speaker 4: And a lot of times men like if they see
Speaker 4: other men texting constantly, they're going to start getting making
Speaker 4: fun of them.
Speaker 1: Know what, are you whipped or blah blah blah blah blah.
Speaker 3: So just relax, Yeah, just reax, but you know, wait
Speaker 3: and see if it goes back to normal.
Speaker 2: If it doesn't go back, then you have a conversation.
Speaker 3: Then you have a conversation about it. All right, you
Speaker 3: all please submit your questions. We love answering them. We
Speaker 3: love your comments and your questions. It's very easy to do.
Speaker 3: All you have to do is go to batsl nation
Speaker 3: dot com slash Golden Hour, and then come back and
Speaker 3: listen to us each week and see if we answer yours.
Speaker 4: Absolutely already, Okay.
Speaker 1: Kathy and are back with the gals. Google it.
Speaker 4: It's where we break down the slang words that people
Speaker 4: are using in dating and pop culture. And as you
Speaker 4: all know if you've been listening, I have not been
Speaker 4: up to date with these things. I don't even agree
Speaker 4: with a lot of them.
Speaker 3: But okay, this means I'm gonna have a lot to
Speaker 3: say about this one. This first one is called micro cheating, okay,
Speaker 3: And what that is. It's small behaviors that feel like cheating.
Speaker 3: But if it feels like cheating, it is I'm just
Speaker 3: jumping the gun here, flirty, dms, et cetera. So you know,
Speaker 3: if you're in a relationship, susan, cheating is cheating. This
Speaker 3: micro cheating it's like you know, it's like I'm on
Speaker 3: a diet, except I eat ice cream every night at six.
Speaker 2: No, you're not on a diet, right.
Speaker 4: It's just do you think it's okay to like a
Speaker 4: photo of the opposite sex when you're in a relationship?
Speaker 1: Apps of freaking lutely, it's okay. Why wouldn't it be okay?
Speaker 3: It depends. That's a too broad a question for me.
Speaker 3: If you're liking a micro cheat to me, would be
Speaker 3: and I'm guessing most people think this is hunky dory
Speaker 3: fine to me. It would depend on what the micro
Speaker 3: cheating is. If it's if it's hey, I just called
Speaker 3: I just texted my ex girlfriend because I heard that.
Speaker 3: You know, her brother was in town and we used
Speaker 3: to play basketball together. That's a micro cheat. Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: pissing me off. If cheating if you're texting your ex girlfriend,
Speaker 3: I don't care. If you're texting her because the world's
Speaker 3: coming to an end in an hour, I'm not interested.
Speaker 2: That's cheating.
Speaker 3: If you're texting an ex girlfriend, that is not cheating.
Speaker 1: No way, cheating is actually doing something.
Speaker 3: No micro cheating like a flirty DM. I'm okay, Susan,
Speaker 3: I'm you're in a relationship with John. I'm making it up.
Speaker 3: And John is sending a little flirty DM to Louise,
Speaker 3: who he met in a bar.
Speaker 1: Where do you come up with these names?
Speaker 2: Because I don't want to use anyone I know? Uh?
Speaker 2: Do you?
Speaker 3: Su?
Speaker 2: Is that cheating? Yes?
Speaker 3: You?
Speaker 2: Oh good? I'll remind you to.
Speaker 4: Me cheating is maybe that's not right. I'll give you that,
Speaker 4: but I wouldn't call it cheating.
Speaker 2: It's micro cheating. It's not it's not cheating.
Speaker 1: I am not good with the lingo micro cheating. I
Speaker 1: think you're gonna cheat. You're gonna cheat. That's bad, Mike
Speaker 1: having a desire to be with somebody Where you.
Speaker 3: Said, if you're gonna cheat, where's your line? What constitutes
Speaker 3: cheating to you?
Speaker 4: Actually going with somebody else when you're with a relationship,
Speaker 4: go and where.
Speaker 1: To bed to kiss on the day. Let's that's cheating?
Speaker 3: If if uh, okay, I'm gonna send a snare for
Speaker 3: You're dating Tom and Louise works with Tom, and he's
Speaker 3: brought up Louise a few times, but he insists there's
Speaker 3: nothing going on. And then you find out that he
Speaker 3: had coffee with Louise and he says, oh, it was nothing.
Speaker 3: We just took our break together. It was like a
Speaker 3: ten minute coffee break. Are you pissed off?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Probably?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that would be a micro cheat. He didn't
Speaker 3: go to you said it was going to bed. Having
Speaker 3: sex kid dad would be a micro cheat. God, wait
Speaker 3: a minute, I have one more question. Why do you
Speaker 3: think because I think the good, the bad, and the ugly,
Speaker 3: why do you think micro cheating is okay with so
Speaker 3: many people? Because I guarantee you, with the gen exerts
Speaker 3: and all that, it's fine.
Speaker 2: Why do you think it is.
Speaker 4: They're in situationships exactly that they they that's the good
Speaker 4: and the bad and the ugly.
Speaker 3: That the good is you get to hang out with
Speaker 3: a lot of people, maybe have sex a lot of people,
Speaker 3: maybe go on dates. You're married, you get to sleep
Speaker 3: with somebody else. But all of that then somehow gets
Speaker 3: complicated and now we're micro cheats and maxy cheats. Too
Speaker 3: many words, exactly, all right?
Speaker 1: I love this one. Double texting.
Speaker 4: It's when you send another message when they haven't responded
Speaker 4: to the first.
Speaker 2: I've done it.
Speaker 1: I mean, do you double or even triple text?
Speaker 2: Hell?
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you're not answering, I'm trying to get your
Speaker 4: damn attention. It's important. Why just call him, Susan, Why
Speaker 4: do you think double texting gets a bad rap in
Speaker 4: the dating?
Speaker 2: To me, if if.
Speaker 3: The guy texted me and I answered and he didn't
Speaker 3: answer back, I got well, obviously I didn't peuk his attention.
Speaker 2: So now I send a second text or a third text.
Speaker 3: The reason that it has a bad rap it's hey, Susan,
Speaker 3: stop texting him. If he's interested in you, he'll respond
Speaker 3: and respond.
Speaker 4: Or something came up, somebody came to the door, and
Speaker 4: we always assume the work.
Speaker 3: My point is cool your heels and wait for the text.
Speaker 3: But you know why people don't you know why it
Speaker 3: has a bad rep.
Speaker 2: One word jealousy, desperate. It makes you look desperate, and you.
Speaker 4: Know, to be honest with you. When somebody does it
Speaker 4: to me, I get annoyed.
Speaker 2: I do it to you.
Speaker 1: I get annoyed.
Speaker 3: Susan gets annoyed with me for the littlest thing. But
Speaker 3: see it's different. I'll text you and if you don't answer,
Speaker 3: I'm calling you. Answer your damn text, Susan.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Boy, twenty twenty six. I'm glad I'm alive, for it.
Speaker 4: I'm in shock about these.
Speaker 2: Uh, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think double texting.
Speaker 2: I want to be.
Speaker 3: I want to be in a situation ship so that
Speaker 3: I can micro chip, micro cheat, be micro chipped and
Speaker 3: start double texting, because.
Speaker 2: Apparently i'll double text when we haven't been living.
Speaker 3: If we're not micro cheating or in a situationship, Susan,
Speaker 3: we are missing something. This should be our goal for
Speaker 3: twenty twenty six. We're each going to get into a situationship.
Speaker 2: I know I'm going to put.
Speaker 1: An add out.
Speaker 4: Okay, everybody, thanks again for joining us at Bachelor's Golden Hour.
Speaker 3: We loved it. We loved answering your questions. We loved
Speaker 3: learning new Google words for slang words of the week.
Speaker 3: We're going to keep learning them and in the meantime,
Speaker 3: make sure to rate, review, and subscribe wherever you listen
Speaker 3: to podcasts.
Speaker 4: Absolutely and you know what to do. Just follow Golden
Speaker 4: Hour on social media at Bachelor Happy Hour and at
Speaker 4: Bachelor Nation and.
Speaker 2: We'll see you next time. Yeah, have a great week.