WEBVTT - Kathy & Susan Decode Situationships | Golden Hour 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:10.480 Welcome back to Golden Hour, Susan. 0:00:10.960 --> 0:00:14.720 And that makes me Kathy or you doing this great? 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:18.360 I'm great. I'm counting the days to vacation like summer's here. 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:22.640 Listen when I come visit you. And for those of 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.079 you who don't know, Susan has a lovely home, but 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:27.880 she has probably one of the most beautiful backyards with 0:00:27.920 --> 0:00:30.080 the pool that I've ever seen. I want to know, 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:31.920 are you going to grill for me when I come visit? 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:34.480 Most definitely? Most definitely the next one. 0:00:34.600 --> 0:00:37.720 Nancy's joining us for a few days, and I've already 0:00:38.080 --> 0:00:42.000 reiterated nance you don't like lamb chops, right, No, you 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:43.199 could still make that. 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:45.599 I could have something else. 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:48.400 And what do I need for dinner, Susan. 0:00:48.360 --> 0:00:51.160 Oh my gosh, some vodka and almonds. 0:00:51.280 --> 0:00:52.480 Don't forget the. 0:00:52.280 --> 0:00:55.720 Yogurt in the morning. Like she's so easy me. That's 0:00:55.760 --> 0:00:58.320 the only part we're really opposite, because. 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:02.200 It is that is to live for food. Yeah, so yesterday, 0:01:02.600 --> 0:01:04.840 this is a true story. Susan and I were talking earlier. 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:08.280 We were talking about meals, and she literally asked me 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:09.960 what I wanted when I come visitor. I said, I 0:01:09.959 --> 0:01:12.920 don't care. Food is not my thing. I just don't 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:16.600 really care about it. And Susan says, well, I mean 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:18.560 you got to eat three meals. I said, Susan, I 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:20.479 eat one meal. She goes, what are you kidding me? 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:22.360 I said, well, no, like She goes, what DoD you 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:24.560 have yesterday? I said, I had a yogurt for breakfast 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:26.880 and then late in the afternoon I had a kale 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:28.840 salad with some chicken on it, and that was my. 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:31.440 Food for this. She goes, you can't be serious. I 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:33.319 was like, yeah, she goes, you have to eat three meals. 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:34.920 I could never really survive. 0:01:35.080 --> 0:01:36.200 I would not survive. 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:39.120 The other difference is Susan cooks and I don't. But 0:01:39.280 --> 0:01:40.680 you know, everyone enjoy it. 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:41.480 I enjoy it. 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:41.880 All right. 0:01:41.920 --> 0:01:43.480 Well, let's get to our news. 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:46.160 Yes, let's do it. We had a big week in 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:52.600 bacheloration news. Let's start with my love, my Rachel. Rachel 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:59.440 Nits recalls blacking out after traumatic experience working as a nurse. 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:02.800 Wait all know she's a great nurse, and we also 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:06.840 all know that nursing is one tough job. 0:02:07.240 --> 0:02:07.520 For me. 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:11.440 I could never do it because I would take everybody's problems. 0:02:11.000 --> 0:02:11.720 Home with me. 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:14.440 Yeah, but can you stand the sight of blood. 0:02:14.800 --> 0:02:16.640 Yes, I cut you open. 0:02:16.680 --> 0:02:20.520 I'll be there to Yeah, I believe that. Here's the thing. 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:24.680 Rachel says that, you know, nursing over stimulates her and 0:02:24.720 --> 0:02:29.440 when she's home, she hears, hears hospital alarms. She has 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:32.639 a lot of anxiety, heart racing, all those things. 0:02:33.240 --> 0:02:33.440 You know. 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.679 I know, Rachel, not as well as you, but I 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:43.079 imagine nursing is very stressful. But we all know medical 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:48.320 the medical world today is stretched family, and I'm glad Rachel, 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:51.520 thank you for still being a nurse, because we need more. 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:54.760 She said that she blacked out during the pilates. 0:02:55.680 --> 0:02:59.040 I think it's this the stress. I think people you sure. 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:02.240 It wasn't like out for a minute and her work 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:04.400 was overwhelming her at that moment. 0:03:04.520 --> 0:03:04.799 I don't know. 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:07.560 I wasn't there, but I mean I think when you 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:10.960 are really stressed and you work out a lot, you 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:14.400 can you can black out, you can, you know, for 0:03:14.440 --> 0:03:17.080 a minute. I'm not sure it's to distress. That's she's 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:19.080 a nurse. That's what she seems to think. 0:03:19.760 --> 0:03:22.720 What I do like, though, is yay you Rachel. 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.920 You know you have stressed, you know you have anxiety, 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:30.320 and you get yourself some exercise because we all know 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:33.359 exercise reduces anxiety. 0:03:33.760 --> 0:03:36.720 Actually saying that out loud, that's a sign. 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:40.200 That's that's somebody telling you, yeah, you got to do 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:43.240 less of something because if you're taking it home with 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:46.520 you and if it's overwhelming you to the point of like, 0:03:46.920 --> 0:03:50.360 try running in my shoes in a day. I talk 0:03:50.440 --> 0:03:54.000 about stress. As you say, Kathy, what do you say 0:03:54.000 --> 0:03:56.920 to me all the time? You love chaos? 0:03:57.000 --> 0:04:00.720 You Susan love chaos, Susan loves cass and now apparently 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:04.400 in batchelor of news, Susan loves blood. Okay, let's move 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:08.280 on to the next one. Carly Waddell posts a message 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:11.840 for one of her exes in your face. I watched 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:15.920 this on Instagram. Apparently she. 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:18.800 Was dating a guy. 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:20.880 She said this message was for one of her exes, 0:04:21.160 --> 0:04:23.960 and she said, I he told her she couldn't get 0:04:23.960 --> 0:04:27.320 a home or a homelan alone for a home because 0:04:27.360 --> 0:04:30.640 she didn't earn enough money to buy herself a home. 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:34.520 And she said he made her feel small and stupid. 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:38.320 And then she dropped the bomb, yay you, Carly, that 0:04:38.400 --> 0:04:43.159 you got approved for the amount. And then she's for 0:04:43.240 --> 0:04:44.040 the home, you know, she. 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:44.680 Which, yay you. 0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:46.880 I'm so glad you got a proved for it, and 0:04:46.920 --> 0:04:49.200 then she goes in your face, she got a proof 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:51.599 for the loan to buy the house, in your face. 0:04:51.800 --> 0:04:53.880 So here's what I want to say, and I know 0:04:53.960 --> 0:05:00.240 you have a different opinion. I I think, first all, 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:05.320 I'm glad, really congratulations Carly that you qualified. Because women 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:07.960 don't earn what is it, seventy cents on the dollar, 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:11.599 women on average earn less than men. So the fact 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:15.039 that you earned enough to qualify by yourself for a 0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:20.320 loan without any cost signers. Yeah you, But I wish 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:22.600 you would take in the high road and instead of 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:26.359 screaming at your X on Instagram saying in your face, 0:05:27.120 --> 0:05:31.240 I wish you had taken the high road and invited 0:05:31.320 --> 0:05:36.680 him with a printed invitation to the housewarming. My thought, no, no, no, 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:39.320 you had another idea. You were talking about sending photos 0:05:39.360 --> 0:05:39.960 of the house. 0:05:40.320 --> 0:05:42.760 I'd stand and pose in front of it. Look what 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:43.360 I don't. 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:46.680 Yeah, I wanted her to invite him and on the 0:05:46.800 --> 0:05:51.560 handwritten calligraphy invitation to this housewarmings say I'd love you 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:54.200 to come and see the home that I was approved 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:56.040 for with no coast signers. 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:57.160 Thank you very. 0:05:57.720 --> 0:05:59.320 That's the same as in your face. 0:06:00.000 --> 0:06:03.400 I'm hoping, I'm really hoping, Carly, that you were in 0:06:03.440 --> 0:06:06.320 the moment you were so excited about getting this loan 0:06:06.400 --> 0:06:08.800 that you blurted that out in your face. 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:12.720 Well, you know, I think we can all take a lesson, 0:06:12.880 --> 0:06:16.520 which you know when I used to teach public speaking 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:19.280 to middle schoolers and we talked about internet. You know, 0:06:19.320 --> 0:06:21.880 once you put some on the Internet, it's always there. 0:06:21.960 --> 0:06:25.600 And maybe Carly doesn't care, but I just love the fact. 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:27.520 I wish we could focus on the fact that she 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:31.880 qualified for the loan and not smacking him down, because really, 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:34.560 who cares about him? He's your ex, Carly. We don't 0:06:34.560 --> 0:06:35.120 care about him. 0:06:35.120 --> 0:06:38.120 He'll figure it out, really all right? 0:06:39.440 --> 0:06:43.640 This week we are going to be talking about the situationship, 0:06:43.720 --> 0:06:46.280 which I know, Susan you have struggled with this before, 0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:50.680 but now I'm going to explain a situation ship. A 0:06:50.880 --> 0:06:58.440 situationship is a romantic or sexual connection that lacks formal labels, 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:03.200 clear boundaries, or long term commitment. It exists in the 0:07:03.279 --> 0:07:08.440 gray area between casual dating and an official relationship. You 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:12.360 may act like a couple and share emotional intimacy, but 0:07:12.520 --> 0:07:19.200 without the title or mutual exclusivity. Okay, So I mean 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:22.320 I have never been in a situationship at all. 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.200 But when we were dating, when we. 0:07:25.080 --> 0:07:28.000 Were younger, what was what did we call like, what 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:31.040 was the equivalent of a situationship when we were young. 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:35.960 When you're seeing somebody, you're seeing somebody, What is a situationship? Well, 0:07:36.200 --> 0:07:38.120 I know you just read it, but it still doesn't 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:42.840 make any sense whatsoever if you're in a romantic or 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:48.080 sexual connection that lacks formal labels. In other words, you 0:07:48.120 --> 0:07:50.240 can't say, okay, we are a couple. 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:54.880 No, you're acting like a couple, but you're not putting 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:56.000 a label on it. 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:57.920 So you're dating someone. 0:07:58.360 --> 0:08:01.160 This is where couples get into try or one of 0:08:01.600 --> 0:08:03.960 one part of the couple, half of the couple. I'm 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:07.280 dating this guy. I'm really attracted to him. I want 0:08:07.280 --> 0:08:10.200 to move to the next thing. And the next thing 0:08:10.240 --> 0:08:13.200 I'm making this up is living together. But you know, 0:08:13.240 --> 0:08:14.840 you got to say I love you, You got to 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:16.800 say I'm committed to you. You have to say we're 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:20.680 in a relationship. A man or a woman, or two 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:24.600 men two women, whatever your taste is. Can say, listen, 0:08:24.840 --> 0:08:27.440 we're gonna sleep together. We're gonna but you know we're 0:08:27.440 --> 0:08:31.520 not gonna put a label on it. I think that 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:35.520 that is a way to not define the relationship. It's 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:38.120 what we call what I call having a long lead 0:08:38.400 --> 0:08:41.720 or a long leash. So, well, we're not in a relationship. 0:08:41.760 --> 0:08:44.200 And I met this guy at the bar, so you know, 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:46.320 I went home and slept with him. I mean, I 0:08:46.400 --> 0:08:52.160 think that it is a situationship. To me, is a 0:08:52.200 --> 0:08:55.760 moniker for anything goes because we don't have a label 0:08:55.760 --> 0:08:56.000 on it. 0:08:56.080 --> 0:09:00.600 Well, I always have that conversation, mostly before or sex, 0:09:00.640 --> 0:09:03.160 that you're not going to be seeing anybody else. If 0:09:03.160 --> 0:09:05.360 you're not seeing anybody else, and I'm just going to 0:09:05.400 --> 0:09:08.920 say I'm not seeing anybody else, then that doesn't give 0:09:08.960 --> 0:09:13.000 it a title, but it tells us there's a relationship, correct. 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:18.400 Yeah, yeah, But I don't know. I honestly, I can't speak. 0:09:18.480 --> 0:09:20.560 I mean I had one serious boyfriend in high school. 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:25.160 I can't really speak, and I had situationship. I had 0:09:25.240 --> 0:09:28.200 male friends, but we weren't having sex. We weren't you know, 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:30.600 making out back in the day. I mean, it just 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:33.840 was different. It was it was more of a you know, 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:37.080 at least in the circles I ran, you know, you 0:09:37.160 --> 0:09:40.480 weren't sleeping around and remember I got married too young, 0:09:40.559 --> 0:09:42.199 so I can't really address this. 0:09:42.320 --> 0:09:46.160 Okay, Kathy, what's one dating rule from our generation that 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:51.240 would solve half of today's dating problems? Hell? Would I 0:09:51.440 --> 0:09:54.719 entitled it? That's what we weren't on the internet. There 0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:58.400 was the grass wasn't greener. Always next, hurry up, next, 0:09:58.480 --> 0:10:01.120 you just swipe left or right back in our time, 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:04.320 you met somebody when you're out or through a friend 0:10:04.400 --> 0:10:07.280 or whatever, and you're seeing each other, or you're not 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.240 your boyfriend or girlfriend, or you're not well. 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:11.960 I don't know that it's a dating rule. 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:13.959 I do agree with you that the Internet has made 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:17.480 it easy to have a lot of relationship situationships or 0:10:17.600 --> 0:10:21.400 pure sex, call it whatever you want, but I do 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:27.439 think that a dating rule from our generation when I 0:10:27.520 --> 0:10:29.280 was younger, and you have to speak to this because 0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:31.960 you weren't married as young as I was, But you 0:10:32.080 --> 0:10:36.760 didn't date if you were in a relationship with someone, 0:10:37.640 --> 0:10:40.199 you weren't in a relationship with somebody else. You finished 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:42.920 with one before you started another one, unless you were 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:43.319 a slut. 0:10:43.440 --> 0:10:46.880 And we talked about, yes, we talked about not too 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:51.400 long ago, dating dating more than one person at a time. 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:53.120 That's something I never did. 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:57.120 I don't think I would like it because I want 0:10:57.120 --> 0:10:59.160 to focus on the one person. 0:10:59.360 --> 0:11:02.000 Yeah, but let me let me let me say you 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:02.600 know the guy. 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:06.640 He shall go nameless. That one guy who you've met. 0:11:06.679 --> 0:11:10.720 Him lives in California. A friend of mine who we dated, 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:12.800 and he didn't want to date me. And we have 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:17.000 a great friendship and we joke, you know, we joke 0:11:17.040 --> 0:11:19.880 about traveling together and you know, sharing a bed and 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:23.280 all that. Do you think I often think about this? 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:27.480 Could that situationship, which is we have great talks and 0:11:27.520 --> 0:11:29.880 I love him dearly, but we don't have sex. Do 0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:32.360 you think that could ever turn into a I mean, 0:11:32.400 --> 0:11:33.040 you know him. 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:35.160 Do you think it can you live closer to one 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:39.160 another that it could very well develop into something because 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:42.920 I think he was very into you and you like. 0:11:43.160 --> 0:11:46.400 He always asks about Nancy. Him, He always asks about Nancy. 0:11:46.920 --> 0:11:48.439 Trust me, I love him. 0:11:48.480 --> 0:11:51.840 But I couldn't have to do with the price because. 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:53.679 I don't date. I'm not dating a man who wants 0:11:53.720 --> 0:11:55.280 to date somebody else. Let's be clear. 0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.120 Well, who said he wanted to date somebody else? 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:00.319 He this guy? 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:05.040 You met him when we were in Palm Springs. Okay, 0:12:05.200 --> 0:12:07.960 he he literally when we talk on the phone, he'll 0:12:08.280 --> 0:12:10.680 if I say him coming out to California, you're bringing Nancy. 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:13.000 I haven't heard from her. He's always asking about Nancy. 0:12:13.320 --> 0:12:13.920 That's different. 0:12:13.960 --> 0:12:17.080 Okay, what's dating behavior today? 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:19.680 Would have shocked your younger. 0:12:19.880 --> 0:12:22.280 Oh that's so easy for me because I talk about 0:12:22.280 --> 0:12:26.599 this with my daughter all the time. The fact that 0:12:28.000 --> 0:12:31.040 it's all cooking up. It's like people have sex on 0:12:31.080 --> 0:12:35.240 the first date. Uh that it's it. Sex is part 0:12:35.280 --> 0:12:38.960 of getting to know someone, as opposed to an enhancement 0:12:39.040 --> 0:12:43.720 for a for a a single you know, a relationship 0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:44.400 with somebody. 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.480 I think. I'm sorry, I didn't know. 0:12:46.520 --> 0:12:48.480 I'm just saying, it's like, it's part of getting to 0:12:48.480 --> 0:12:52.440 know someone, as opposed to we have such a special relationship, 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:54.800 we're ready to take that step. I know so many 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:58.120 people who sleep with the guy the first or second date. 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:01.080 They're like, yeah, why don't think they don't think anything 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:05.000 that is probably the biggest situationships are a result of 0:13:05.160 --> 0:13:08.160 technology or human nature. 0:13:11.200 --> 0:13:13.040 I can't you know, I'm going to take so much 0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:16.080 heat of I answer this. Okay, everyone, I grew up 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:18.280 in New England, you know, with the Puritans landed on 0:13:18.280 --> 0:13:21.800 Plymouth Rock, and everyone dressed with collars up to their 0:13:22.160 --> 0:13:26.600 you know, ear lobes. I think that that I'm not 0:13:26.760 --> 0:13:30.480 saying it's wrong. I'm saying that the and it's not. 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:34.080 I hate the word that my parents use would be promiscuity. 0:13:34.160 --> 0:13:37.120 I'm not using that word. I think that people today 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:41.079 are so open about sexuality, and I'm fine with it, 0:13:41.360 --> 0:13:45.920 but I think that that has created a such a 0:13:46.480 --> 0:13:48.960 what do I want to say? Deep dimensions, created so 0:13:49.240 --> 0:13:52.440 many different scenarios, that's really what I want to say, 0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:57.240 so many different scenarios. I was talking to someone yesterday 0:13:57.800 --> 0:14:02.520 who is married. They're in an open marriage. It's just 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:03.839 it's too complex for me. 0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:07.120 That's because of our error too. That's not how we 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:10.160 were raised. We didn't think that way. If you slept 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.400 around with, you slept with more than one person, you 0:14:12.440 --> 0:14:16.680 had a name, a reputation, a bad reputation. Today there's 0:14:16.679 --> 0:14:18.920 no such thing as a reputation for anything. 0:14:19.000 --> 0:14:22.800 Yeah, although I don't know, I don't see. That's why 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:25.240 I say that's puritanical to say those kinds of things, 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:28.800 like or caller a slut. That's what we called girls 0:14:29.240 --> 0:14:32.360 in high school who had sex. Now, oh my god, seriously, 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:32.960 I mean. 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:47.880 Everybody's a slut. All right, we're gonna do some story time. 0:14:50.480 --> 0:14:51.680 Okay, go for it, slut. 0:14:52.080 --> 0:14:54.960 Okay, Cathy, tell me a time when you ignored. 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:57.320 I doubt you're gonna be able to answer this a 0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:59.640 red flag because you really. 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:03.880 Liked some one, the guy that we talked about earlier, that. 0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:05.920 I want for fifteen minutes at all. 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:09.560 No, I saw the red flag within a week to 0:15:09.640 --> 0:15:12.560 ten days, and I and I spent two and a 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:15.160 half months and the and to me, it was a 0:15:15.200 --> 0:15:15.760 red flag. 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:16.840 But here's the thing. 0:15:18.040 --> 0:15:23.560 You you can only ignore. I you can only ignore 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:27.880 a red flag so long. And if if you, if 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:31.280 you see the red flag and you insist on staying 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:35.560 on that road, then you know it's your problem. I mean, 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:38.760 you really like someone, how's that working for you? I 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:40.720 don't have a lot of sympathy for that. I know 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:41.720 I'm gonna take heat. 0:15:41.800 --> 0:15:42.400 What do you think? 0:15:42.520 --> 0:15:44.520 Oh, you're not gonna take here. You just are who 0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:44.920 you are. 0:15:45.120 --> 0:15:49.520 I ignored so many red flags. 0:15:48.400 --> 0:15:51.720 But Susan, has it brought you trouble? Here's the question, not. 0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:56.280 Trouble, but sad for them, because at the end I bail. 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.360 I you know I should recognize it and say. 0:16:00.360 --> 0:16:02.240 Oh, no, you do recognize it. 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:05.720 I do recognize it, but I should walk away, and 0:16:05.800 --> 0:16:06.320 I don't. 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:08.000 I always think I could fix it. 0:16:08.080 --> 0:16:10.960 I can make it better, and you can't change the 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:12.000 color of the flat. 0:16:12.200 --> 0:16:15.280 So I know you've said this. You just said it. 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:18.080 You know it's a red flag. You go down the 0:16:18.120 --> 0:16:20.840 road anyway. Do you ever see a time where you 0:16:20.880 --> 0:16:23.000 could not do that, where you would say, you know what, 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:25.600 I'm going to do it differently this time. I'm not 0:16:25.680 --> 0:16:27.040 going to go down the road because I see the 0:16:27.080 --> 0:16:27.520 red flash. 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:29.800 I say it, but I don't do it. 0:16:30.440 --> 0:16:32.240 So you don't think you're capable of doing it. 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:34.040 I don't know if I'm capable. 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:36.800 I believe see. I think my. 0:16:36.880 --> 0:16:41.560 Brain realizes and then I talk myself into some things 0:16:41.600 --> 0:16:45.160 like I recognize something and say, well, could you maybe. 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:50.080 It's not that bad, and you know, like it's terrible, or. 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:53.720 I'd be alone forever because nobody is perfect out there. 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:57.280 Yes, but everybody has a little bit of a flag. 0:16:58.280 --> 0:17:01.880 Yes, but there's red Flas we've talked about this, there's 0:17:01.920 --> 0:17:04.359 a red flag of gott He always least his sink, 0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:06.720 dishes in the sink, and the other pick up his socks. 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:10.280 That you know, well, some people think that's a red flag, 0:17:10.640 --> 0:17:13.560 but you know, on the phone with his ex girlfriend 0:17:14.119 --> 0:17:16.280 or there's a lot of other examples I could give 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:19.600 are red flags that aren't going to change. 0:17:19.760 --> 0:17:20.840 And I guess that's what. 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:24.040 You see when somebody's controlling and jealousy. 0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:29.320 That a red flag, like a physical thing that I 0:17:29.359 --> 0:17:31.119 think that that I could. 0:17:31.000 --> 0:17:33.560 Make up my mind really quick. It just depends on 0:17:33.640 --> 0:17:34.600 what it is. 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:37.679 Okay, Well, I'm going to say when I say you, 0:17:37.720 --> 0:17:41.560 I don't mean necessarily you, Susan. If you all out there, 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:46.359 if you don't share common values, common beliefs. I'm not 0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:49.560 talking necessarily religious beliefs, just the way you want to 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:52.080 live your life. Work out that if you don't share 0:17:52.119 --> 0:17:56.000 those things, that's a red flag and it's not going 0:17:56.080 --> 0:17:58.320 to change. I don't care how much you like the person. 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:03.679 So I'm not is generous of spirit because I feel like, 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:07.760 especially at our age, once you see red flags and 0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:10.560 you keep going down the same road, it's like, do 0:18:10.600 --> 0:18:13.199 you ever learn your lete? Not you, Susan. I'm not 0:18:13.280 --> 0:18:15.760 saying this at you to people. I know so many 0:18:15.800 --> 0:18:17.800 people our age and they keep doing the same thing, 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:20.040 and then they're like, I'm never going to find someone. 0:18:20.080 --> 0:18:22.679 I'm like, well, you know, you keep drawing water from 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:26.680 the same Well, keep doing what you've been doing. Here's 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:29.760 my line, Susan, keep doing what you've been doing. 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:32.119 You're going to keep getting what you've been getting. 0:18:32.800 --> 0:18:36.280 Remember that saying you keep doing the same thing over 0:18:36.359 --> 0:18:38.879 and over again and expecting a different result. 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:41.159 That's the definition of insanity. 0:18:41.280 --> 0:18:41.480 Yeah. 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:44.960 Well, speaking of insanity, here we go. We're gonna do 0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:46.320 some full in the blank and see what. 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:49.600 Here we go. 0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:54.680 All right, if someone says they're not ready for a relationship, 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:55.880 they really. 0:18:55.600 --> 0:18:57.919 Mean they're just not that into you. 0:18:58.280 --> 0:18:59.399 Thank you. I agree. 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:04.040 Okay. The biggest red flag in modern dating is. 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:14.760 Too many choices the internet dating apps. I don't know. 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:16.800 That's I don't know if that's good. 0:19:17.320 --> 0:19:19.280 The first thing that comes to mind. That's the whole 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:20.800 idea of a game. All right. 0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:25.000 If oh, if I haven't met your friends by month three. 0:19:25.040 --> 0:19:27.399 I'm concerned. 0:19:28.280 --> 0:19:31.960 Yeah, I would say, if I haven't met your not yours. 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:33.640 But if I'm dating a guy, if I haven't met 0:19:33.640 --> 0:19:36.399 your friends by month three, I'm probably not gonna be 0:19:36.440 --> 0:19:37.760 your girlfriend very long. 0:19:38.200 --> 0:19:41.120 Or you don't have any Okay, the situation becomes a 0:19:41.160 --> 0:19:43.520 relationship when. 0:19:44.240 --> 0:19:47.560 Both of you agree to commit and put a label 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:53.840 on the relationship communication Baby Okay. The phrase I good 0:19:53.840 --> 0:19:56.600 for good luck on this one season. The phrase I 0:19:56.720 --> 0:19:58.960 never want to hear from a man again is. 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:09.520 I'm a deer and head laid. No, I I was gona. 0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:12.920 I love that I was gona. 0:20:14.359 --> 0:20:16.800 I would add to that one I used to. 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:19.800 Okay. 0:20:20.359 --> 0:20:24.919 The most confusing thing about dating today is. 0:20:25.640 --> 0:20:29.560 For me, people say they want one thing and they 0:20:29.680 --> 0:20:30.960 really want something else. 0:20:31.280 --> 0:20:32.640 So true, so true. 0:20:33.880 --> 0:20:35.399 I know we can both write a book, but in 0:20:35.440 --> 0:20:38.560 the meantime, we're going to answer questions from our listeners. 0:20:38.640 --> 0:20:41.040 I'm gonna go with the first one here. I've been 0:20:41.119 --> 0:20:43.680 dating someone for a few months and things are good. 0:20:43.960 --> 0:20:47.680 But I've noticed that whenever something bothers me, I hesitate 0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:50.520 to bring it up because I don't want to seem difficult. 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:53.359 I end up brushing things off, but then they build 0:20:53.440 --> 0:20:56.880 up over time. How do I get better at communicating 0:20:56.880 --> 0:20:59.320