Speaker 1: Mike, Check, Vanessa, Jared One, Dean President. Here we go.
Speaker 1: I Suck Good Dating with Dean Angler and I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio Podcast. Hey everyone, we all pointed out Dean. You
Speaker 1: listen who wanted to open it? I don't know last week.
Speaker 1: Last week was me, So we figured we'll give you
Speaker 1: the owners again. We'll rotate. Let's start this over hell
Speaker 1: by suck a Dating? Do it at I Heart Radio Podcast? Yes,
Speaker 1: so Venica. This time I Suck Good Dating with Dean
Speaker 1: Angler and I Heart Radio Podcast and Jared. Hey, guys,
Speaker 1: welcome to another episode. Thank you for tuning in. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we all love Dean. Welcome back. Hey, happy to be
Speaker 1: Where have you been? Just got back from Kentucky. We
Speaker 1: already talked about this last two weeks ago. I did
Speaker 1: a nice little eight day rock climbing trip in Red River, Gorge.
Speaker 1: Um there was a lot of fun. Can't out in
Speaker 1: a tent for eight days, didn't shower once? It was
Speaker 1: f Oh yeah it was great. Um yeah, rock climbing,
Speaker 1: the bunch, scared myself a lot, hung out with some
Speaker 1: good people, and uh, happy to be home. Nice. How
Speaker 1: was that last week's podcast? I listened to it. It
Speaker 1: was amazing. Thank you for asking how it was then
Speaker 1: it was fun. I listened to it. I did, I did.
Speaker 1: I was just making sure that you know, you guys
Speaker 1: are um you were doing our job? Yeah, absolutely and
Speaker 1: very I am, um, well, what are you talking about today, Vanessa?
Speaker 1: Since this is your podcast today? Is it? Well? We
Speaker 1: have Klin Rosenberg on the phone with us, Calin, are
Speaker 1: you there? I am hi, I'm doing well. How are you?
Speaker 1: We're doing well? This is Dean, Vanessa and Jared. I'm
Speaker 1: sure obviously you you are familiar with kind of the
Speaker 1: podcast today, so um so for the listeners out there,
Speaker 1: Klin is a celebrity love architect, right, Klin, I am so,
Speaker 1: can you tell us a little a little bit more
Speaker 1: about you and um kind of the things that you
Speaker 1: do that make you successful in that field? Well, I
Speaker 1: you know, I sort of come in like a builder,
Speaker 1: architect and designer all in one, into people's love lives
Speaker 1: and look at the reality of why it is constantly
Speaker 1: so broken and difficult and painful to live in, and
Speaker 1: why it doesn't have the love and the joy and
Speaker 1: the happiness that everyone really deserves. So I get to
Speaker 1: the nitty gritty, spiritually soulfully an ego psychologically into every
Speaker 1: person's being, tear it all apart, tear it all down,
Speaker 1: tear up the foundation, and then literally start to as
Speaker 1: I learned different things about my clients, just rebuild and
Speaker 1: build something really beautiful for them. Um. And it's something
Speaker 1: I've been doing for almost twenty four years. And I'm
Speaker 1: madly in love with my work and with people and
Speaker 1: and just want this world to have really what it
Speaker 1: deserves when it comes to love and peace, and so
Speaker 1: I can't Can you tell a little bit of our
Speaker 1: listeners about the Large Social Club as well and going
Speaker 1: to a little specifics about that. Yeah, So the Last
Speaker 1: Social Club is a dating app that I've been working
Speaker 1: on for about the last four years that we just
Speaker 1: finally launched its invata right now. It's just figuring itself out.
Speaker 1: That's doing quite well. Um, it's been out there for
Speaker 1: a little over two months now, and it is really
Speaker 1: the world's first and only fully vetted dating app. Four
Speaker 1: singles that really have a space now to go to
Speaker 1: that honors themselves in their journey when they're looking for
Speaker 1: a really amazing partner, so they can have fun in
Speaker 1: life and so it doesn't have to be so exhausting
Speaker 1: and treacherous, and so it has a um A test
Speaker 1: called the Real Reveal that is part of the onboarding process.
Speaker 1: It's it's a similar process sort of to e harmony.
Speaker 1: It's you know, it's it's something that takes a bit
Speaker 1: of time. It's about twenty plus minutes, but it's worth it.
Speaker 1: You know, with all things that are important and valuable,
Speaker 1: you should put some time and energy into it. UM.
Speaker 1: But it's the test that's kind of like an m
Speaker 1: M p I for love. It tells you what kind
Speaker 1: of partner and may you are when it comes to love,
Speaker 1: what you attract and why, what you stay in too
Speaker 1: long and why, and most importantly, who you deserve. And
Speaker 1: it has a really cool algorithm attached to it that
Speaker 1: matches you behind the scenes on the app with your
Speaker 1: perfect partner UM. While you also have a chance to
Speaker 1: kind of let your you know, your ego do the
Speaker 1: walking and choose based on you know, everything we typically do,
Speaker 1: looks and what's in common and interest and things like that,
Speaker 1: and you sort of can choose for yourself. And it's
Speaker 1: something that has had and has the blessing of lots
Speaker 1: of celebrity endorsers, especially in the spiritual and world of
Speaker 1: psychology and relationships. Literally the world's best are in, you know,
Speaker 1: endorsing and supporting it. So I'm quite honored and humbled
Speaker 1: by that. And it's just here to really create not
Speaker 1: only a movement of love and healing, but to clean
Speaker 1: up the dating industry. It needs a lot of help,
Speaker 1: um and to bring people something better. Just kind of finally,
Speaker 1: I was just really sick and tired of what's been
Speaker 1: out there, and I wanted to create something more for people. Well,
Speaker 1: and so this is the first app that I've ever
Speaker 1: seen that actually has a brick and mortar large type area.
Speaker 1: It does as well. Yeah, so one of the things
Speaker 1: that I really paid attention to, you know, meeting clients
Speaker 1: all over the world, and regardless of what aids or
Speaker 1: economic background, they always said, well, literally don't know where
Speaker 1: to go and meet somebody who's truly single and incredible
Speaker 1: and doesn't have major issues and doesn't create and bring
Speaker 1: more pain into my life. Everything is sort of exhausting
Speaker 1: and tiring, and whether it's online and or even out
Speaker 1: as the bars, it's just a very different world today
Speaker 1: than it was even even five or ten years ago.
Speaker 1: Things have really dramatically changed. So the large social club
Speaker 1: has yes a brick and mortar. We have a few
Speaker 1: flagship locations and opportunities. The main one is in Minneapolis,
Speaker 1: where I live and have my headquarters, and it is
Speaker 1: it is truly like walking into a cool sort of
Speaker 1: organic lodge in Jackson Hole or Aspen where people can
Speaker 1: connect in its members only and everyone's been vetted against spiritually, psychologically, socially,
Speaker 1: and criminally um. And then we also have our pop
Speaker 1: ups that we've been doing with huge success. That we
Speaker 1: had a really amazing pop up a New York City
Speaker 1: Fashion Week and it was I mean literally jumpacked. We
Speaker 1: had to turn people away, which was hard to turn
Speaker 1: people away, but really cool that they loved it so
Speaker 1: much and told their friends about it. And then we
Speaker 1: did another pop up experience during Sundance that was amazing,
Speaker 1: and then we just had one here with our grand
Speaker 1: opening in Minneapolis, and that again was a huge success.
Speaker 1: So we are just literally trying to put the whole
Speaker 1: dating industry, dating services, matchmaking services, dating sites really at
Speaker 1: notice to say or unnoticed to say, listen, get your
Speaker 1: crap together, offer something better to the singles. The hundred
Speaker 1: plus million singles that are out there, just even in
Speaker 1: our own country, that are trying to find one another.
Speaker 1: So we're really proud, um Caitlan. This actually sounds like
Speaker 1: the Soho House for single people, which I love. I
Speaker 1: actually wanted to touch upon background and identity checks because
Speaker 1: last week when we're talking about it, I kind of
Speaker 1: looked at like, oh, you sound crazy, but I do,
Speaker 1: I mean a little bit. But when you do the
Speaker 1: background and identity check, what are you looking for exactly? Well,
Speaker 1: So it's it's a full I mean, it's heavy duty.
Speaker 1: It's the real deal. There are a lot of come
Speaker 1: the needs out there that will say that they do
Speaker 1: a background check and they don't at all, or they'll
Speaker 1: say that they do and they literally do it just
Speaker 1: in your county, not across the all the counties in
Speaker 1: the country and even you know, across the pond. So
Speaker 1: this is a full blown background check that that has
Speaker 1: everything pop up from the mildest misdemeanor all the way
Speaker 1: up to felonies and and things that can be really frightening.
Speaker 1: What it does is it it's you know, if it's
Speaker 1: a felony, period, you you are not accepted. If there's anything,
Speaker 1: if there's a misdemeanor, growth misdemeanor. If there's something that
Speaker 1: popped up, you will be red flagged. We have a
Speaker 1: team of people that are constantly watching the site from
Speaker 1: behind the scenes every day, and we reach out to
Speaker 1: these people and we say, hey, everybody deserves a second
Speaker 1: chance in life. We all can make mistakes and screw up, um,
Speaker 1: but you know we this is what came up on
Speaker 1: your report and we need to know to protect you
Speaker 1: and to protect our other members, we need to know, Hey,
Speaker 1: what is this about? It? Is it fixed, is it healed?
Speaker 1: Have you learned from it? Have you grown? Have you
Speaker 1: grown up? What is this about? And where are you
Speaker 1: at in life? I mean, this sounds exactly like a
Speaker 1: members only for dating pretty much. Question is if that's so,
Speaker 1: can we bring back the members only jacket for this
Speaker 1: specific social lode because I would join if that's the case. Oh, perfect, perfect.
Speaker 1: I know this is a pretty interesting concept because I mean,
Speaker 1: according to everything I've read about it, So everybody that
Speaker 1: gets accepted into this club is they can go on
Speaker 1: the app, they can do these meetups, go to the
Speaker 1: different pop ups, so it's like a small community for
Speaker 1: all single people it is. And finally, finally, finally, it's
Speaker 1: very interesting, very interesting. Time. It was just time, Yeah,
Speaker 1: because what's out there is just it's really broken. It's
Speaker 1: working only for people almost based on luck. And you know,
Speaker 1: even though we know Zuckerberg is now saying he's getting
Speaker 1: into it, there's nothing very special sadly that that he's doing.
Speaker 1: Zuckerberg is getting into what he's getting into the whole Facebook.
Speaker 1: You know, Facebook is going into dating. Oh Facebook, Well
Speaker 1: that was my yeah, that was my next question. So so,
Speaker 1: so I feel like social media nowadays is becoming like
Speaker 1: one the number one way to meet people. Um, you
Speaker 1: know yeah, Um so I'm thirty, someone my age are
Speaker 1: much dared still going on with the compliments. I love it.
Speaker 1: So someone my age a little bit older, would they
Speaker 1: be signing up for this type of social club. Actually,
Speaker 1: the majority of the people right now are so they're
Speaker 1: really in their late twenties, thirties and then sort of
Speaker 1: into their sporties and then kind of sprinkling some of
Speaker 1: the baby boomers, which the baby boomers are also I
Speaker 1: would say probably the biggest generation right now out there
Speaker 1: in in online dating. But you know, the problem isn't
Speaker 1: that we don't have access to each other. Clearly we
Speaker 1: do with Facebook, like you said, through social media that
Speaker 1: that's sort of already and directly become its own dating site.
Speaker 1: And but the problem is the lack of authenticity. And
Speaker 1: then the lack of authenticity comes from a brokenness within
Speaker 1: ourselves that that's all it is. If we can't if
Speaker 1: we weren't confident, healthy enough within ourselves and our being
Speaker 1: and really honoring and loving ourselves our value, and we
Speaker 1: don't come with healthy egos, we're showing up as a
Speaker 1: bunch of bolth, and then we're bringing that into someone's
Speaker 1: life that really is genuinely looking for love, and so
Speaker 1: it continues to create pain and that's not okay. And
Speaker 1: and that's the mild part of the side that doesn't work.
Speaker 1: And then you have the people that are you know,
Speaker 1: that are married posing as single because they've just gotten
Speaker 1: a bad fight with their wife or their husband, or
Speaker 1: they're on the verge of divorce, but they haven't truly filed,
Speaker 1: or they haven't moved out. And yet you have somebody
Speaker 1: who's really amazing, who is choosing to show up authentically
Speaker 1: single thing, Hey, I'm so ready for love and to
Speaker 1: get this right. And yet they're running into a bunch
Speaker 1: of scammers sadly that just scammed themselves to begin and
Speaker 1: then you've got the criminals. So enough is enough is enough.
Speaker 1: It's a scary world there, and this is why background
Speaker 1: I'm just I'm paranoid just listening to that. I will say,
Speaker 1: they're so to get onto the batchelor, you have to
Speaker 1: go through a background even meet with like FBI agents.
Speaker 1: It was pretty scared. But amen, I mean so did I.
Speaker 1: You know, when I ended up getting you know here,
Speaker 1: I was selected to work with Oprah and do Love Town,
Speaker 1: and I thought, have got the whole thing in the bag.
Speaker 1: This is awesome, this is so exciting. And then it
Speaker 1: was like, oh, and by the way, we're stripping down
Speaker 1: naked or so itself. Um, we're doing a triple background
Speaker 1: check on you, an FBI level and this and that,
Speaker 1: and even though I knew I had no skeletons. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree with with the whole bachelor thing. You are vulnerable.
Speaker 1: But amen, you know they want to make sure that
Speaker 1: what they're putting out there for their brand is authentic.
Speaker 1: We need to do that. As one another. I have
Speaker 1: my fair share of juvenile arrests and I was worried
Speaker 1: about that coming up, which we can get we want
Speaker 1: to it did, of course it came up, but it wasn't.
Speaker 1: It was. They were just like minor misdemeanor and nothing significant,
Speaker 1: you know, our gain or not paying. Yes, it's but
Speaker 1: no have to be a scary world. So but you
Speaker 1: you know, you are right. It is. It is, but
Speaker 1: we're changing that UM And I will tell you and
Speaker 1: because again everything, if I'm preaching authenticity, I have to
Speaker 1: be it myself. I have to walk my stuff. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, we are probably one of the only UM
Speaker 1: dating apps that is launching authentically and we're populating authentically.
Speaker 1: We don't have bots, we don't have paid people in
Speaker 1: back rooms pretending to be single to lure people on
Speaker 1: there and to keep them going and paying. We literally
Speaker 1: are just doing it's they all pays with people going amen, hallelujah,
Speaker 1: thank you for designing and creating this. But at the
Speaker 1: same time, where is everyone? And I'm going, hey, you're
Speaker 1: the first to the party of amazing people coming to
Speaker 1: just stay. And so I will tell you for you know,
Speaker 1: even if any of your listeners that are that are
Speaker 1: listening and are thinking of joining, we had our base
Speaker 1: level that was thirty five dollars a month, and we thought, oh,
Speaker 1: this is cheap for everything that we're offering. The podcasts
Speaker 1: are not the podcast. We do have a podcast as well,
Speaker 1: but see pop ups and all of those need opportunities. Um,
Speaker 1: but we've decided we're giving it to we're giving it
Speaker 1: for free. So literally now it's free. Is it free
Speaker 1: for hallelujah? Yeah? Oh yeah for the first year, for
Speaker 1: the first year. Literally, people that are wonderful, get on there,
Speaker 1: do it for free, fine love and do it under
Speaker 1: a year. So what's your So what's your success rate?
Speaker 1: If you don't mind be asking? Well with the dating
Speaker 1: app for me personally, I mean both of you want
Speaker 1: to answer it. I mean, we know that you're you've
Speaker 1: been married for seventeen years and I just wanted to
Speaker 1: congratulate you on that. Oh well, thank you. Well you know,
Speaker 1: and I mean is that you know, as part of
Speaker 1: a love architect, and you know, not only do I
Speaker 1: heal lie, but I connect full me. So I had
Speaker 1: a very very successful career connecting real souls and love
Speaker 1: and have lots and lots of marriages and babies and
Speaker 1: all of that. Um. But with the app, it's brand new,
Speaker 1: it's two months old in data, so we don't have
Speaker 1: any success stories. I'm just being straight, but we will
Speaker 1: because people are happy, they love it in the press
Speaker 1: of starting to you know, to catch on. That's cool.
Speaker 1: Can I ask you a question? So, as a matchmaker,
Speaker 1: what what did you did? You like? Often turn away
Speaker 1: clients potential clients, and so with this app that you released,
Speaker 1: obviously you're doing your due diligence with the background checks, etcetera. UM,
Speaker 1: but it's a little bit more scalable and you want
Speaker 1: to be more inclusive with everything, but it's obviously you're
Speaker 1: you're less able to do that. But what I guess
Speaker 1: you're My question for you is like, what would it
Speaker 1: take for someone for you to turn them away as
Speaker 1: a matchmaker, like one on one instead of the app thing?
Speaker 1: Just just out of my own curiosity, yeah, and also
Speaker 1: to answer both if you want me to, UM. But
Speaker 1: for me, you know, one of the things that I
Speaker 1: don't like about the matchmaking industry, and it's just you know,
Speaker 1: it's my own deal, UM, is that I think it
Speaker 1: lacks a ton of ethics and integrity. UM. And I
Speaker 1: think there's way too much of allowing the what we
Speaker 1: call um on our real rebuild test and part of
Speaker 1: the onboarding of the of the dating app Um. But
Speaker 1: putting too many ego mates together, I think that keeps
Speaker 1: the corruption of real healthy love and families and relationships going.
Speaker 1: And I'm trying to get rid of that. So anytime
Speaker 1: a meal or female comes to me and says, hey, um,
Speaker 1: she needs to look like this. Her books need to
Speaker 1: be this big. She has to be twenty five years younger,
Speaker 1: and she has to be stunning, leg gorgeous, and oh,
Speaker 1: by the way, he has to have a minimum ten
Speaker 1: million dollars cast in the bank. If they tell me
Speaker 1: that's what they have to have to have love, I
Speaker 1: want nothing to do with them. They can't save me
Speaker 1: enough money, you know. If they come to me and
Speaker 1: that's their reality and that's what they're attracted to. But
Speaker 1: first and foremost they're saying, I want a really good soul,
Speaker 1: I want a really good woman, I want a really
Speaker 1: good man. I want a really healthy relation and ship.
Speaker 1: I'll want to be happy. I want a relationship that
Speaker 1: really does last the rest of our life. Then amen,
Speaker 1: they can have the rest of the candy and the
Speaker 1: cherries and the frost thing. Um. But it has to
Speaker 1: be pure at heart first. So I'm just not into
Speaker 1: that ego crap. It's just to create too much pain
Speaker 1: and keeps the self stuck. Um, have you ever seen
Speaker 1: the movie Hitch Yeah, movie right, I have a question
Speaker 1: for you. So what you just said kind of makes
Speaker 1: me think of that one time where Will Smith is
Speaker 1: talking to that guy. I was thinking the exact same things.
Speaker 1: He's like the guy that the date doctor as he's called,
Speaker 1: is saying. He's talking to him, He's like, all I
Speaker 1: want to do is get in there, like sleep with
Speaker 1: her and get out and like, you know, move on
Speaker 1: to the next thing. And he's like, I don't do that.
Speaker 1: Like what I do is build relationships, build soul mates.
Speaker 1: One question for you is in that same movie, even
Speaker 1: Mendez looks down at Will Smith for being a date doctor.
Speaker 1: But I was thinking about it the other day and
Speaker 1: it's like, all he's doing is helping these people find love. Right. Well,
Speaker 1: she's only looking down upon him in the movie because
Speaker 1: she thinks that he's helping guys hook up with girls.
Speaker 1: She thinks that he's helping guys like that guy. It
Speaker 1: was just a misunderstanding. It was a misunderstanding and then
Speaker 1: she realizes that she's helping um Kevin uh Kevin James
Speaker 1: at the end, and then she falls in love and
Speaker 1: happily ever after. Anyway, moving on, Maybe it's just the
Speaker 1: long thing as I've seen the movie and I didn't
Speaker 1: was able to piece that. Sorry, I'm like a walking
Speaker 1: pop culture reference. It's pretty time. No, no, no, but
Speaker 1: that's correct. Um, But with the you know, with the
Speaker 1: dating app and the real reveal. So with the six
Speaker 1: questions and at the end of the questionnaire, at the
Speaker 1: end of the test, it tells you if you are
Speaker 1: a life mate, which is really what we all need
Speaker 1: to aspire to be and we all want in the end,
Speaker 1: or your soul mate, which is what the majority of
Speaker 1: us are. And that's okay, but it's not where Yeah,
Speaker 1: well yeah, I'll tell you in a second and then
Speaker 1: you know, or you're an ego mate, so and then
Speaker 1: we match you based on that. Okay, So how do
Speaker 1: I answer that? The difference between a lifeman and the
Speaker 1: soul mate. So here's the deal. The reason we always
Speaker 1: say we oh my god, I want my soulmate, I
Speaker 1: need my soulmate. All I just met my soulmates. That's
Speaker 1: when all of Our energy are juices are excitement, and
Speaker 1: our pain, our drama are trauma are triggers energy. Energy,
Speaker 1: energy is all mess. It's just all in there. It's
Speaker 1: all good and bad, right, So the person we meet
Speaker 1: triggers all of our stuff inside of us in a
Speaker 1: way that's meant to be a teacher. But the problem
Speaker 1: is is that because most of us, unfortunately did not
Speaker 1: come from a really balanced, grounded, healthy mother father mother
Speaker 1: father loving relationships. Um, a lot of us were raised
Speaker 1: with different levels of shame and criticism and just drunk
Speaker 1: or you know, uh it could be you know, addictions.
Speaker 1: Whatever it is, no one's fault, it's just different ways
Speaker 1: of experiencing, masking and coping with pain and undealt stuff.
Speaker 1: We end up kind of bringing that into life, and
Speaker 1: we look for through our partner healing knowingly and unknowingly
Speaker 1: healing and the feeling of being loved and being okay
Speaker 1: and being accepted. And then when it's romantically connected in
Speaker 1: and everything is going and it's the best sext of
Speaker 1: our life, for the worst sights of our life or
Speaker 1: the toxicity is there, we haven't learned enough to be
Speaker 1: able to sit back, most of us and go Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: this is actually a teacher. They're not cool. Excuse me.
Speaker 1: They're not screwed up and I'm not screwed up. We're
Speaker 1: just both human acting out our stuff. And wow, we
Speaker 1: could actually so down for a moment instead of constantly
Speaker 1: fighting and reacting, we could actually look at each other
Speaker 1: as a teacher, shake hands, grow through this and decide
Speaker 1: if we want to become life made and grow up
Speaker 1: or actually still say hands look at each other with
Speaker 1: U go wow. Thank you for the best sex I've
Speaker 1: ever had. Thank you for the best triggers I've ever
Speaker 1: had in their most intense sites I've ever had. But
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to thank it, thank you,
Speaker 1: leave it there, and now move on towards the person
Speaker 1: I'm meant to be with. Well, I think people would
Speaker 1: just don't do that. I think a lot of people
Speaker 1: wouldn't describe that particular person as their soul mate, but
Speaker 1: it is. Why would you say it's there so mate
Speaker 1: just for the simple fact that you've never been Because
Speaker 1: I wouldn't describe somebody soul mate just based out of passion,
Speaker 1: which sounds like what you were just describing most too. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because still is that again? The still is where we're
Speaker 1: the most alive, right, but we're really it isn't that
Speaker 1: energetic feeling of what we're experiencing. And so even based
Speaker 1: on what you just said, that says a lot about
Speaker 1: you and how you probably would scale on the test,
Speaker 1: that was a very healthy wise higher brain response, Well
Speaker 1: thank you, I mean seriously so um. But there are
Speaker 1: people that will go, oh my gosh, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I need to feel alive constantly in the way they
Speaker 1: feel alive is based on how they are triggered, based
Speaker 1: on how healthy they are emotionally and spiritually. But most people,
Speaker 1: I feel like, try to blend the two, like they
Speaker 1: want to feel most alive with the person that they
Speaker 1: want to spend the rest of the life with. So
Speaker 1: is in some cases is it? Well, one thing is?
Speaker 1: In some cases, isn't a life partner in a soul
Speaker 1: made the same person? Or is it? But no, mostly
Speaker 1: they're not, but they sure can be. And my goal
Speaker 1: is to teach people, especially through this app how to
Speaker 1: be and how to have it. So when I say,
Speaker 1: and it's said since the beginning of this interview, I
Speaker 1: want every want to have what they deserve. That's that's
Speaker 1: like my my life mission is to teach people. So
Speaker 1: and then there are two levels of still made in
Speaker 1: transit one and two when it is healthier. One is
Speaker 1: more toxic, but it's okay, they're still learning. And then
Speaker 1: you have the eagle mates that are truly your social paths,
Speaker 1: your psychopaths, your narco clinical narcissists. You're people that were
Speaker 1: born that way genetically or something happened during you know,
Speaker 1: um the whole destination. Or there's people that just came
Speaker 1: with a lot of wounds and abuse and trauma. It
Speaker 1: really really damage their brains, truly damage their brains, and
Speaker 1: they have a real hard time. Yet what I found
Speaker 1: it so cool is that even what those people and
Speaker 1: it's about ten I've found of our population, or at
Speaker 1: that level, if they find one another, they actually can
Speaker 1: sometimes experience a little bit of a feeling of real
Speaker 1: love for just a moment enough to get them through.
Speaker 1: And who is this ego mate ego meets find each
Speaker 1: other then associate path So there really is, you know,
Speaker 1: a top for every pot, and I just want everyone
Speaker 1: to find the right top because everyone deserves love at
Speaker 1: the end of the day. Okay, jailing question for you,
Speaker 1: So now that you're in this dating apps space, what
Speaker 1: do you say in response to the people that say
Speaker 1: that dating apps aren't for love and that men are
Speaker 1: just looking for a hook up and women are just
Speaker 1: looking for a confidence boost, Like, how would you respond
Speaker 1: to that? There's truth to that, to that, also, there
Speaker 1: are men that are just looking for hook ups, they're
Speaker 1: women that are just looking for hook ups, and there
Speaker 1: are women and men that both need confident boots. You know.
Speaker 1: It's just but the majority of people that I found,
Speaker 1: even many that say am just there for hook up
Speaker 1: really deep inside and when I've asked them that if
Speaker 1: the right one for you came along, the one that
Speaker 1: could you know, if you allow them to take your heart,
Speaker 1: if you wanted them to take your heart and vice versa,
Speaker 1: and to experience the depths of you and really experienced
Speaker 1: life together, is that what you'd want? And honestly, the
Speaker 1: majorities say my word, yes, hollowly to bring them now.
Speaker 1: Al that's fair, that's a great response. Yeah, I would,
Speaker 1: I would agree that I think it just takes the
Speaker 1: right person to come along. Um, all right, well, Caitlin,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for giving us a call and
Speaker 1: telling us a little bit more about the lodge it
Speaker 1: sounds awesome. If we're ever in Minneapolis, maybe we'll swing
Speaker 1: by and say hi, pop up store out here in
Speaker 1: l A. You know that's a good part. You know
Speaker 1: this year's Bachelorrette is from Minnesota, so you get a
Speaker 1: celebrity influence. Yeah, we're exciting. Yeah. If people are single
Speaker 1: and they want to join and tell him to the
Speaker 1: Lodge Club dot com and sign up, they can get it.
Speaker 1: It's a nappun and where can where can they find
Speaker 1: your podcast? We were just getting ready to watch it
Speaker 1: again to Love Happy our podcast show. We'll tune in.
Speaker 1: If you ever want to have us as a guest,
Speaker 1: please we'll be with us now. That'd be awesome, right
Speaker 1: you guys, Well, thank you so much. Having addressed, thank
Speaker 1: you so much, many continued blessing, all right, you too. Well.
Speaker 1: She's very sweet, very sweet, very sweet. It's a very
Speaker 1: interesting concept. I like her positive outlook on you know,
Speaker 1: finding your soul? Well, what was it? So made her
Speaker 1: life mate? She said a lot of things. I was interesting.
Speaker 1: She made a lot of generalizations though, which was interesting
Speaker 1: about the idea of being raised in not a good setting.
Speaker 1: It just seemed like she really kind of blanketed everybody
Speaker 1: with that, but like, well, you know, most people just
Speaker 1: raise up with a bad family home. At the end
Speaker 1: of the day, there is that statistically run well. But
Speaker 1: I think that that's definitely true. I think it can
Speaker 1: be sure, of course, But it was just interesting that
Speaker 1: she just kind of like was a put a blanket
Speaker 1: over it. And then the idea of like finding um
Speaker 1: like redemption in the person that you're looking for in
Speaker 1: terms of like a romantic love, which is interesting to me.
Speaker 1: She was kind of going into detail about that. I
Speaker 1: think at the end of the day, comes down to timing.
Speaker 1: If you're in a position where you know what you
Speaker 1: want and you find that person that knows what they
Speaker 1: want as well, and it matches up, then it'll work out. Well.
Speaker 1: Of course, life is about timing, no, but I mean
Speaker 1: like just no just meeting someone that like you're you know.
Speaker 1: I mean I've gone on dates with people where I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I know exactly what I want, but
Speaker 1: the person that I was dating doesn't know what they
Speaker 1: want and it just it just doesn't match up. Or
Speaker 1: think if you find someone that you have a really
Speaker 1: very strong connection with, but just the timing in your
Speaker 1: life is not correct. And then you feel like you
Speaker 1: can talk all that. Yeah, what I'm saying is, I
Speaker 1: mean I wanted to leave in when you were talking
Speaker 1: about all right for the next segment. I'm sure you
Speaker 1: guys have seen definitely maybe with Ryan Reynolds right, thought
Speaker 1: about who it's about when. So it's not who you're
Speaker 1: with that you find for the rest of your life.
Speaker 1: It's when you're with someone at the point in your
Speaker 1: life when you become ready for that relationship that makes
Speaker 1: that person the person that you spend the rest of
Speaker 1: your life with that point, yes, I remember that point. Yes,
Speaker 1: all right, though you're gonna articulate, well, that's all. It's
Speaker 1: not who it's when, And that's the point that the
Speaker 1: girl that he dates makes. And it's kind of like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's true. You could meet your soul mate when you're
Speaker 1: nineteen not ready for it, or you could be dating
Speaker 1: someone when you're twenty nine and realize that's when you
Speaker 1: want to start being serious about relationship and that person
Speaker 1: becomes your forever person. But doesn't it make you feel
Speaker 1: like you're almost settling to all right? Good, that's I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm playing Devil's advocates what I do. But It's
Speaker 1: interesting because even when she was talking about your soulmate
Speaker 1: in your life mate, a lot of people just equate
Speaker 1: that too. Well, that should be the same person, because
Speaker 1: the person I feel most alive with is the person
Speaker 1: I want to spend the rest of my life. I
Speaker 1: didn't understand her soul mate. I think for her, her
Speaker 1: the idea of her soulmate is far more passionate, where
Speaker 1: like she even talks about like the best sex you've
Speaker 1: ever had or alive and like even the worst fights
Speaker 1: you've ever had, but also the most love you've ever felt,
Speaker 1: like the most you've ever felt alive. And so I
Speaker 1: think that's what she equates to being a soul mate.
Speaker 1: But for me, those people, I'm not sure if I
Speaker 1: would describe those particular people as my soul mates. Okay, well,
Speaker 1: I want to throw this question out to you guys.
Speaker 1: What is your ideal relationships slash quality in a life mate?
Speaker 1: What what would you be looking for? I mean, that's
Speaker 1: such a dean after you, that's such a big question.
Speaker 1: Path I don't know. Um Like, it's humor, im it's
Speaker 1: family important, of course, but it's also I think difficult
Speaker 1: to really put a label on it or try to
Speaker 1: describe it with words, because there's have you ever been
Speaker 1: around people where it's just this undeniable magnetic force between
Speaker 1: you two, where it's just like I don't want to
Speaker 1: leave you. I don't like. Yes, I look for humor,
Speaker 1: and I look for kindness, and I look for sweetness,
Speaker 1: but then I also look for this this just thing,
Speaker 1: this thing that I can't describe. But for some reason,
Speaker 1: I miss you when I'm not with you, and for
Speaker 1: some reason, I don't ever want to leave you, And
Speaker 1: like it's like I don't it's not like I don't
Speaker 1: laugh harder other people's jokes. And what I'm saying is
Speaker 1: it's not like I don't laugh at harder at other
Speaker 1: people's jokes, or like it's not like there's other people
Speaker 1: in my life that aren't kind to my family and friends.
Speaker 1: But for some reason, this particular person is just somebody
Speaker 1: that I I'm I'm addicted to, if that makes any
Speaker 1: sense for me. That's kind of like something I look for.
Speaker 1: And you want to know what else that you want
Speaker 1: to know what they should look for from you? In
Speaker 1: my personal opinion, go on Jared specifically, Yeah, we'll just anyone.
Speaker 1: I think that's one significant other looking to another for
Speaker 1: something like that they could possibly use every season. It's
Speaker 1: like maybe a nice little fab fit fun box. OK, yes,
Speaker 1: have you guys heard about these fait fun? Actually do
Speaker 1: love my fait fun. Everyone loves the fait fun. I
Speaker 1: didn't know where you were going. You were staring at
Speaker 1: me so nervous. Why is he smiling? I'm trying to
Speaker 1: wet for a while, you were in perfect of window.
Speaker 1: We'll jump into the segment about Jared's magnetism and in
Speaker 1: a second, but first I feel like we had to
Speaker 1: talk about the fat fit fun, of course, because I'm
Speaker 1: addicted to fat fit fun and we all are. I
Speaker 1: think I wonder if we were to assign fab fit
Speaker 1: fun to us three, which one I would definitely be fun.
Speaker 1: I'd be fun, now you would be fun foul. I'm
Speaker 1: not fit, You're you're fit, you're fitter. I think we're
Speaker 1: all pretty fit. I think, but you're I can't describe
Speaker 1: myself as fabulous. So you're fat, you are fababous. You
Speaker 1: know what? You guys are nothing. I'm just gonna be
Speaker 1: all three fat fit, and I think actually it should
Speaker 1: be fab fit fun, like the way we're sitting fun well, anyways,
Speaker 1: you guys have all heard about Papit Fun before as well.
Speaker 1: It's no tell us more description box. Well, you guys have,
Speaker 1: of course the listeners here. It's a seasonal subscription box
Speaker 1: for you discover new products for life well lived. Basically
Speaker 1: what they do is um not provide any sample products.
Speaker 1: They're full size of everything that they put in the box.
Speaker 1: It's fashion, beauty, home, fitness, wellness, all that kind of
Speaker 1: stuff delivered four times a year for just fifty dollars
Speaker 1: a season. Well, I guess we're keeping it under the
Speaker 1: fifth threshold, right, um, and you get one box what
Speaker 1: is every three months for every season? So false season
Speaker 1: let's say no summer seasons coming up. Obviously it's almost summer.
Speaker 1: You lose track of time here in l A. I
Speaker 1: will like it could be November, or it could be marched,
Speaker 1: or it could be made right. Well, what I love
Speaker 1: about the box, um, so many of the products individually
Speaker 1: are valued more than the entire box itself. Like there's
Speaker 1: in this subscription box for summer, there's a four year
Speaker 1: Luna Fufo face scrub, and that alone, I think I
Speaker 1: checked on the Sappho website was worth I think I
Speaker 1: can't remember the exact price, but I remember thinking like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, that's I'm serious. I actually did my
Speaker 1: research on that because I actually looked it up. You
Speaker 1: looked it up. And the cool thing is there's no
Speaker 1: samples of anything, products products, right. It really feels like
Speaker 1: Christmas every time I get my fat fit phone box
Speaker 1: at um at the door. What else is in there?
Speaker 1: There's the anti aging skincare device. There's the pure one
Speaker 1: marble ring dish that I love. I do I put
Speaker 1: my I have my grandmother's ring I wear all the time,
Speaker 1: and I wear I put that on my here one
Speaker 1: marble ring dish. I don't even use that for rings.
Speaker 1: I just use it as a dish to hold random
Speaker 1: knickknacks that I collect, a little knick nacks. It's a
Speaker 1: nice little home to Core. It's a wonderful home to Core. Anyways,
Speaker 1: for the listeners out there, if you want to get
Speaker 1: your hands on one of these incredible fab fit fund boxes,
Speaker 1: specifically the Summer box, which again Jared Vanessa and I
Speaker 1: all love, uh, please go to fabfit fund dot com
Speaker 1: and get ten dollars off if you use code Dean.
Speaker 1: I wonder when we're gonna change these codes to Dean. Vanessa,
Speaker 1: Jared's way too long. Just use your name, four letters
Speaker 1: d e A and Dean code ten dollars offun dot com.
Speaker 1: Here's a little excited today. Like Vanessa said, sometimes these
Speaker 1: single products are worth more than the entire box. One
Speaker 1: box every season, some incredible stuff. Check it out. I
Speaker 1: promise you won't be disappointed. Vanessa will literally personally refund
Speaker 1: your money if you do not approve of fun box. Um,
Speaker 1: so check it out. Anyways, let's move out of those
Speaker 1: next segment, which I'm sure everyone is just dined. I'm
Speaker 1: so excited, kept secret excited. Dating facebook page, they're all
Speaker 1: very ready for this. Well you're to help I suck
Speaker 1: a dating facebook page? Is most of them are from
Speaker 1: the I Don't Get It podcast facebook page, and uh
Speaker 1: there's been out. I don't think it's been out. There
Speaker 1: is no What are we talking about? That is that's
Speaker 1: the scariest thing I've ever seen in my entire Alex.
Speaker 1: That does not look like you, Alex, like Alex Bordakov. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm picking Alex from the show, Alex from my show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: which season are you talking about? Joe jos Oh, No,
Speaker 1: I don't know Alex the Russian guy. Oh yeah, yeah. Anyways, Jared,
Speaker 1: is there something? Yeah, what's going on? Are you in
Speaker 1: a relationship with someone? This is way too epic. No,
Speaker 1: it's I'm in a relationship. Yeah, thanks guys, I appreciate it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not anymore. Literally, no idea you in a relationship?
Speaker 1: Did you not know? That's so insane? Her name is
Speaker 1: Actually say that it feels good. I mean I've been
Speaker 1: saying it for a little while now, so I just
Speaker 1: literally had no idea you have his mind blowing. Actually
Speaker 1: had no idea until I walked in a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks ago and I saw you guys kiss on the lips,
Speaker 1: and I was like, yeah, no, that's pretty much the
Speaker 1: reaction everybody anytime we kiss our whole names. People are like, whoa,
Speaker 1: what is the fact that you guys weren't hiding it either? No,
Speaker 1: we didn't want to hide it. I mean, I mean
Speaker 1: we God, it's such a long story. Well, why don't
Speaker 1: you guys ask questions and if you want, I'll just
Speaker 1: answer them instead of just rambling on. Well, I mean
Speaker 1: I've been asking you questions for like the last couple
Speaker 1: of weeks, which first of all, I do want to say,
Speaker 1: I love that you guys have like a shared custody
Speaker 1: thing going on with me. So last week Dean wasn't here,
Speaker 1: so Jared drove me home. So I was asking him
Speaker 1: all his questions about his love life and everything. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Jared did mention, um, like this is it for him,
Speaker 1: Like this is he found his life mate? I think, um,
Speaker 1: all right, So obviously you know, actually and I have
Speaker 1: a pass from our two seasons to Paradise, and we've
Speaker 1: been pretty much best friends for a couple of years. Wait,
Speaker 1: how long have you known each other? I mean we
Speaker 1: met in Paradise season two, we've met We've known each
Speaker 1: other for almost three years. Holy moll, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: three years next June. Because we met in Paradise three
Speaker 1: years ago. TII, So that was the first time you
Speaker 1: guys met in Paradise. So was the first time we
Speaker 1: met in Paradise. And then obviously it was a bit
Speaker 1: of a roller coaster relationship from then on. Are the
Speaker 1: people watching because like, obviously we know the stuff that
Speaker 1: happens that isn't aired, or they just like over make
Speaker 1: everything dramatic on TV? What really happened the first season
Speaker 1: of Paradise between you and Ashley. Well, I think it
Speaker 1: was pretty much laid out out there. Um, I mean
Speaker 1: Ashley and I met each other. And also, let me
Speaker 1: say this, because it's very I've talked about it at
Speaker 1: length so many times over the past couple of months
Speaker 1: because you know, I think everybody important in my life
Speaker 1: and important in her life, uh, deserve to know what
Speaker 1: exactly has been happening and how it has come to be.
Speaker 1: And so um, Ashley and I did a video called
Speaker 1: the Story of Us. Um. You can find it on
Speaker 1: YouTube where we pretty much articulate everything that happened, so
Speaker 1: we could just get everything out there, um, once and
Speaker 1: for all for everybody that because it's already up. Well,
Speaker 1: it came up today. But actually sent me the pre
Speaker 1: role whatever it is, and I said, I opened it,
Speaker 1: I was like, it's gonna be like a five minute
Speaker 1: long video. Minutes long. Well, there's no way I'm gonna
Speaker 1: watch this. I don't blame Forty eight minutes later, because
Speaker 1: I rewinded a couple of rewound a couple of parts,
Speaker 1: I found myself watching the entire thing. I got emotional
Speaker 1: for a second. Jared was crying like a little baby
Speaker 1: actually obviously was it was very It's very emotional. I mean,
Speaker 1: actually has always been someone that's very important in my life. UM,
Speaker 1: somebody that I've always loved as just a human being.
Speaker 1: And I've never shied away from that. Um. I remember
Speaker 1: last year we were at the airport and uh, like
Speaker 1: I was, we were leaving, and I was like, we
Speaker 1: just said like I love you, I love you, but
Speaker 1: we didn't say in a romantic way. It was like
Speaker 1: we just love the people that we are, you know,
Speaker 1: to each other anyway. And so, UM, just you know,
Speaker 1: describing over what happened over the past couple of years
Speaker 1: between both seasons of Paradise and everything in between and
Speaker 1: then leading up to obviously Wintering Games and everything's happened since. Um,
Speaker 1: it's just a lot of it was very difficult. Um.
Speaker 1: I think I've just been a very closed all human
Speaker 1: being for a very long time, specifically with Ashley and
Speaker 1: pretty much in my dating life in general. UM. And
Speaker 1: so I think, uh, there was a time where I
Speaker 1: realized that I could be making the biggest mistake of
Speaker 1: my life, which I've always kind of known, um, but
Speaker 1: never acted on because I've always been complacent and okay
Speaker 1: with living in maybe a life that is not my
Speaker 1: best life, but a life that I've found mediocre and
Speaker 1: good enough. And then there came a time in a
Speaker 1: place where I either stepped up to the plate or
Speaker 1: I continued being my shell doff self, and I realized that, um,
Speaker 1: I need to do something and say something. And so
Speaker 1: that's kind of the gist of it. All right, that's it, No,
Speaker 1: we want to know more. I don't know. What do
Speaker 1: you guys want to know? What do you guys want
Speaker 1: to know? Okay, I'm dating Ashley and I are dating.
Speaker 1: We've been dating for Yeah. I was gonna say, how
Speaker 1: long have you been? I mean, I mean it's been
Speaker 1: only a couple of months. Really, what's the sex? Like?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, dude, I'm not answering that anything. That's
Speaker 1: what I want to know. I'm not answer to the right.
Speaker 1: You should know better than that. I like you. I'm
Speaker 1: not sitting next to you because I would slap you.
Speaker 1: Come on, man, it's already like obviously that's been a
Speaker 1: you know, a topic over the past few years for Ashley.
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to really, all right, we got you,
Speaker 1: we got you, we got you. Vanessa one of the
Speaker 1: questions do you have for Jared? Here, are you guys
Speaker 1: living together? No? No, no, no, no, we're not living together.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, the reason Ashley and I know are
Speaker 1: Oh god, it's like difficult. Um, so listen for me
Speaker 1: finish that sentence Ashley, and you know, well, I know
Speaker 1: I don't want to speak for Ashley, but like obviously
Speaker 1: we've talked about it, and we see this as you
Speaker 1: know it for us, so to speak, and like a
Speaker 1: life partner, love, marriage, kids, happy. I love every time
Speaker 1: you say that. It be so happy. I think especially
Speaker 1: as soon as we started, as soon as we crossed
Speaker 1: that boundary between friendship and relationship boyfriend girlfriend, we knew
Speaker 1: that if we were going to date, after everything that's
Speaker 1: happened between the two of us and everything that we've
Speaker 1: gone through and the love that we have for each other,
Speaker 1: they're not even just I don't mean romantic love. I
Speaker 1: also mean just the love that you have for another
Speaker 1: human being. That we knew that if we crossed that line,
Speaker 1: that we're not going to just date to be boyfriend
Speaker 1: and girlfriend. We're gonna date to hopefully progress into something more. Okay,
Speaker 1: So I have a question for you. So you've been
Speaker 1: friends for I would say, what the last three years? Okay?
Speaker 1: And do you feel like your relationship is at a
Speaker 1: point it's at the point of where it is right
Speaker 1: now because you're able to have that solid friendship and foundation.
Speaker 1: We talk a little bit about that on the Story
Speaker 1: of Us, about how it's interesting to think that if
Speaker 1: we left as a couple, say Bachelor Paradise season two,
Speaker 1: if we'd still be dating today, Because I go back
Speaker 1: and forth whether we would, because I think we do
Speaker 1: have a very she says, yes, you say maybe not
Speaker 1: because the only reason I say maybe not, I say
Speaker 1: I would say yes if you put a gun to
Speaker 1: my head, I would say, I think we'd still be dating.
Speaker 1: But we have gone through so many obstacles over the
Speaker 1: course of our you know, relationship, over the past for years,
Speaker 1: and it's been our friendship that has become those and
Speaker 1: I think that we've while we're both similar to the
Speaker 1: same people we were three years ago, we're also different
Speaker 1: and we've also been able to grow and we've also
Speaker 1: we've grown together, but we've also been able to grow
Speaker 1: as individuals because we've been friends. And I'm curious to
Speaker 1: think that if we went through those we went through
Speaker 1: similar obstacles together as a couple, if we would have
Speaker 1: been able to overcome them as boyfriend girlfriend instead of
Speaker 1: really close friends. Well, and to that point that you
Speaker 1: made it just before that last thing that you touched on,
Speaker 1: you said that you're in this relationship because you see
Speaker 1: it being a long term thing. And I remember I watched,
Speaker 1: like I said, I watched that this is us. I'm
Speaker 1: in this relationship because I love Ashley. Can again of
Speaker 1: course that I love Ashley, but I want to specify that, like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to make it seem like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: I'm in this relationship because it just feels time and
Speaker 1: it feels right now. I'm in this relationship because I
Speaker 1: love Actually more than any anything. I was gonna say,
Speaker 1: you made a good point yesterday or not yesterday. You
Speaker 1: made a good point in that uh the story of
Speaker 1: us where you said, I don't want to enter into
Speaker 1: relationship if even two percent of me isn't into the
Speaker 1: relationship because you want to and once you enter into it,
Speaker 1: you wanted to be all or nothing kind of thing. Well,
Speaker 1: I was always scared to enter into relationship with Actually
Speaker 1: because I was always scared of losing her as a friend.
Speaker 1: And I always thought specifically like in between Bachelor in
Speaker 1: Paradise season two and season three, because there was like
Speaker 1: a little bit more than friendship. We're like kind of
Speaker 1: not dating, but there was more than friendship feelings and
Speaker 1: connections there. And so I remember always being torn during
Speaker 1: that time of how you know, always being one foot
Speaker 1: in and I talked about the story of us, and
Speaker 1: I always thought that it was so unfair for me
Speaker 1: to only have one foot into the relationship and how
Speaker 1: that made me feel like I was leading her on.
Speaker 1: So it's better for me to say, listen, it's best
Speaker 1: if we're just friends, because I don't want this constant
Speaker 1: flip flopping or back and forth, because it's unfair to
Speaker 1: you and it's unfair to me. And it's just better
Speaker 1: if we just become friends. And that's what we did.
Speaker 1: And and there was some tribal you know, there was
Speaker 1: some tough tough time specifically obviously through Paradise three were
Speaker 1: um we went through a lot and um, you know,
Speaker 1: three or two parties three. I think, uh, yeah, that
Speaker 1: was probably you know, really, I think I think that
Speaker 1: just God, that season really made me um with I'm confused,
Speaker 1: is this your third time on Parady. It was my
Speaker 1: second season, both our second season on Paradise technically Batch
Speaker 1: on Paradise season three. Oh okay, but you're okay go. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It was just tough and I never knew if I
Speaker 1: was doing the right thing. And I think it was
Speaker 1: kind of it's gonna sounds so stupid. Um, I was
Speaker 1: a little traumatized from it. That's not stupid at all.
Speaker 1: I totally relate to that, and a lot of us could.
Speaker 1: And I think I just kind of went into a
Speaker 1: very mean traumatized because of the experience. Yeah, because I
Speaker 1: think I was always scared that what I was doing,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that was the right thing to do.
Speaker 1: Um on the show, on the show, after the show,
Speaker 1: Before the show, I was always just questioning myself, questioning
Speaker 1: my feelings, questioning where my head was at. Um, the
Speaker 1: right thing to do for yourself or right think to do?
Speaker 1: Just in general, what do you both for both Ashley,
Speaker 1: for both myself? Um, because I was always telling Ashley
Speaker 1: that it's better for friends, and I truly believe that
Speaker 1: at the time, But there's always just this more there was,
Speaker 1: there was more to us than that, And I don't
Speaker 1: know it's just and so it's just hard. It's it's
Speaker 1: it's hard to I don't know. I think it's already
Speaker 1: even talking about I think I think it's just. I think, honestly,
Speaker 1: it just I kind of became a shelled up person
Speaker 1: after that, and I think I was always filled up
Speaker 1: with so much shame from it because because I I
Speaker 1: I knew, I don't know. But here's the thing that
Speaker 1: here's my thing with all of this is that you
Speaker 1: can't really look back. Of course, you can look back
Speaker 1: and be like, dang, that sucks that that happened, and
Speaker 1: we both went through that, and it's like we both
Speaker 1: felt horrible during it, But at the same time, it's
Speaker 1: like you're here now in the relationship course that you're
Speaker 1: loved with and you want to spend the rest of
Speaker 1: your life with. So that's like at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, like you didn't really you know, you're you're
Speaker 1: still in the spot that you both want to be in.
Speaker 1: That's beautiful and wonderful and we're all incredibly happening for you.
Speaker 1: So it's hard to look back and be like that
Speaker 1: went wrong horribly, But I at the same time, like
Speaker 1: you could be like that was a learning experience, blah
Speaker 1: blah blah, but it also led you to the point
Speaker 1: that you are today. It probably didn't make sense while
Speaker 1: it was happening, but it only led to this point
Speaker 1: because of Ashley. And that's something that I will never
Speaker 1: forget for the rest of my life and something that
Speaker 1: I'm so appreciative for and grateful for, because there could
Speaker 1: have been a time where h Ashley told me to
Speaker 1: you know, I'm fine, I'm fine, Thank you. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: And I know we're hugging, we're hugging. I'm fine. I
Speaker 1: just now you're tearing up. I know, it's just you
Speaker 1: know I'm tearing up. No, don't tear off. I'm fine.
Speaker 1: I just I think here's the thing, Like they always say,
Speaker 1: the toughest thing in life is to forgive yourself, and
Speaker 1: so I think for a while I had a difficult
Speaker 1: time doing that, and because of that, I had an
Speaker 1: even more difficult time expressing my feelings and like doing
Speaker 1: the things I want. And so obviously there came a
Speaker 1: moment recently that I had to let it out. Jared uh,
Speaker 1: there was a moment recently where I had to either
Speaker 1: step up and do something or continue not. And uh,
Speaker 1: you know, I did something this is beautiful. Can we
Speaker 1: go over the something that happened? You know, just either
Speaker 1: making decisions based out of love and fear. And I
Speaker 1: think for a very long time I was making a
Speaker 1: lot of decisions based out of fear. And I think recently,
Speaker 1: for the first time, I made a decision that wasn't
Speaker 1: based out of fear. I knew what I had I mean,
Speaker 1: I talked about it on the Story of Us, but
Speaker 1: I knew what I had to do, and I was
Speaker 1: scared to do it. But I put my insecurities in
Speaker 1: doubt to the side and and I went for it.
Speaker 1: And it's the best decision I've ever made in my
Speaker 1: entire life. Happy for you, buddy. And I think this
Speaker 1: is back to the conversation we're having earlier about timing.
Speaker 1: At that point, maybe a couple of years ago, or
Speaker 1: a couple of months ago, or last year, when whenever
Speaker 1: it was you weren't maybe emotionally or mentally ready to
Speaker 1: dive into something that you knew could have been this beautiful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree. I also think I don't listen, I don't
Speaker 1: advocate my own personality. There's nobody that hates myself more
Speaker 1: than me. What I'm saying is some kinds I need
Speaker 1: a fire lit under my ass because I'm a procrastinator
Speaker 1: and unless like I am forced, like not forced, but
Speaker 1: like unless there is a decisive moment in my life
Speaker 1: where no, no, no, no, this had nothing to do
Speaker 1: with Actually, this was all just festering on my brain
Speaker 1: for a very long time and just weighing on my
Speaker 1: heart for a very long time, and I never did
Speaker 1: anything about it because actually it was always there were
Speaker 1: was just friends. We would talk almost every day. You know,
Speaker 1: we're best friends for so long, and um, and it
Speaker 1: makes me there's there's a part of me that makes
Speaker 1: me um now like gods, So it's yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: I think for a very long time this was just
Speaker 1: weighing in my heart and I never did and said
Speaker 1: anything because when I was scared too too, I felt
Speaker 1: a lot of shame. And then three we were always
Speaker 1: just so close, you know, I think that's what that's
Speaker 1: what's so nice is you guys have that solid friendship.
Speaker 1: So I'm you probably felt a lot more comfortable explaining
Speaker 1: all these things to her. No, it made me feel
Speaker 1: more uncomfortable, did it. Yeah, Because it's like, Okay, now,
Speaker 1: this is the worst timing in the history of the
Speaker 1: world for me to say anything. But if I don't,
Speaker 1: I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: And I know I've had ample opportunity and ample time
Speaker 1: to say something. I know I haven't because I've been scared,
Speaker 1: and I'm tired of being scared. But you were scared
Speaker 1: to say something because of the timing of it, but
Speaker 1: not absolutely because she did not. She deserves to be
Speaker 1: the happiest person alive. And I was scared that, um
Speaker 1: she found out with someone else. But now here we are.
Speaker 1: But here we are. I'm really I love Ashley, and
Speaker 1: I mean getting to know you, You're such a great person,
Speaker 1: and I know and I totally get it. We are
Speaker 1: worth critic So I I empathize with that because I
Speaker 1: understand that. But to to kind of get the pressure,
Speaker 1: not the pressure, but the heat off of you, to
Speaker 1: to put this on the listeners and what kind of
Speaker 1: advice would you have for someone that might be in
Speaker 1: a similar position that you were in, or maybe that
Speaker 1: Ashley was in, that you could use, you know, your
Speaker 1: experience to help them out in any sort of way,
Speaker 1: maybe like like a friendship dynamic that one person wants more,
Speaker 1: maybe both people want more, but they're kind of unsure
Speaker 1: what to do next. I feel like maybe it's like
Speaker 1: never too late. Oh I would I've yeah one, it's
Speaker 1: never too late. Um, don't be if, um don't he
Speaker 1: there's We talked about this on the podcast a lot.
Speaker 1: But don't make decisions based out of fear and then
Speaker 1: mask them as practicality, because that's something that I think
Speaker 1: I've always been doing in my life is I've always
Speaker 1: made excuses, well it's because of this, or it's because
Speaker 1: of that. When an actuality, it's just because I'm scared,
Speaker 1: And don't do that, you know, go after what you want,
Speaker 1: don't be afraid, because it's just it seems like fear
Speaker 1: is always blocking you. It always plays into your life,
Speaker 1: and it's always that factor that just stops you from
Speaker 1: having the potential life that you could have, the happiest
Speaker 1: life you could have. So I think rejection is a
Speaker 1: scary thing. Rejection is a scary thing anything. Relationships work,
Speaker 1: and it's it's just it's it's the vulnerability and also
Speaker 1: it's the dependency. And I forgot about that, you know
Speaker 1: now being in a relationship. I've forgotten about how much
Speaker 1: you depend on the other person. And that's a scary
Speaker 1: thing to dive into, to be like a lot. You know,
Speaker 1: my happiness comes within, it within, But because I care
Speaker 1: and love for you so much, I depend on you
Speaker 1: a lot, a lot more than I ever have. And
Speaker 1: that's a scary thing, it really is. And I'm glad
Speaker 1: that you brought that up because I was thinking about
Speaker 1: it yesterday at the day before and I'm like, why
Speaker 1: is it so as I said, you know, I am
Speaker 1: dating someone, is it serious? I mean it's because do
Speaker 1: I say, like we're boyfriend and girlfriend. I wouldn't put
Speaker 1: it to that extent. I really care about this person.
Speaker 1: But I'm also I think at a point where I
Speaker 1: don't want to become dependent on anyone emotionally, you know.
Speaker 1: And I think it's I don't know if it's because
Speaker 1: I'm you know, I'm gonna start crying, but I've been.
Speaker 1: We're all just crying in here now. It's parent competting
Speaker 1: both of them. Um. I think it comes from a
Speaker 1: fear of like getting hurt. Yeah, it's a fear, it
Speaker 1: absolutely is. It's it's a fear of um not being
Speaker 1: good enough. I think that's the worst fear in the world.
Speaker 1: Are not the worst, I don't want to but in
Speaker 1: terms of dating, yeah, it's there's nothing worse than feeling
Speaker 1: like you're not good enough, whether it be for someone else,
Speaker 1: whether it be for job or life in general. Um.
Speaker 1: In the getting hurt thing too, it's if you put
Speaker 1: your faith in something that's not you, you're out of
Speaker 1: control of it, which allows which opens up the opportunity
Speaker 1: for you to get hurt exactly, you're unable to control.
Speaker 1: And and even like in my experience with Ashley, We've
Speaker 1: been friends for so long, and there's nobody I tell her.
Speaker 1: I've told this for years. There's nobody I love hanging
Speaker 1: out more with than Ashley. Like every time I came
Speaker 1: out to Ali, I stayed at her house, not because
Speaker 1: it was a place to crash, because I wanted to
Speaker 1: hang out with Ashley. And now we've opened up this
Speaker 1: whole other side of our relationship ever since we started dating,
Speaker 1: and it has just been incredible. Um, because I thought
Speaker 1: I loved her before and now I've been exposed to
Speaker 1: a type of love that I've never felt before. So
Speaker 1: would you say you keep saying you love as this
Speaker 1: was the first time here in love with someone. No,
Speaker 1: no, no no, I've been in love once before a while ago.
Speaker 1: I was in a long time relationship. Um, and she's
Speaker 1: She's an incredible human being, and we had such a
Speaker 1: loving relationship, but it was just different than what I
Speaker 1: have with Ashley. Um, but I am oh. Yeah, especially
Speaker 1: because you and actually have such a history together, it
Speaker 1: makes it It makes this moment that much more magical
Speaker 1: and that much it gives people hope that it could happen,
Speaker 1: it will happen. So there's fear within yourself to be rejected.
Speaker 1: Is there any fear with like the publicness of anything
Speaker 1: like that, because obviously we've all been in public ish relationships,
Speaker 1: some more so than others, some more serious than others,
Speaker 1: whatever it is. But obviously you and Ashley would have
Speaker 1: a very public relationship if that's the case. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: always been intimidated with that because you know Ashley. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've I'm obviously I'm I'm in the public eye, but
Speaker 1: not nearly as much as Ashley is. You know, she's
Speaker 1: very transparent, which is one of her best qualities. Um.
Speaker 1: But I knew that if we started dating that my
Speaker 1: life would become a lot more transparent as well, which
Speaker 1: is scary. UM so you UM, I think that it
Speaker 1: is especially hard in this world when you are especially
Speaker 1: you know, you have a podcast and you're on a
Speaker 1: TV show it was all about love and everyone wants
Speaker 1: to know who you're dating and what your love life is.
Speaker 1: Like what kind of advice would you give to people
Speaker 1: to um, I guess have that to still have that
Speaker 1: privacy and still keep that romance alive without having it.
Speaker 1: Um there there should be moments in your life that
Speaker 1: are meant for just you and whoever is in that
Speaker 1: room with you, Like, for example, you do not have
Speaker 1: to record every second of your life, because I think
Speaker 1: there's something to be said. Like there was a moment
Speaker 1: um I actually gonna talk about on the podcast, but
Speaker 1: like where we trick her parents and the things that
Speaker 1: we we got engaged, like uh yeah, I was really yeah,
Speaker 1: I forget it was I forget. We just like I
Speaker 1: was hanging out with our parents. We wanted to trick
Speaker 1: them because we were bored. And then anyway, Lauren, her sister,
Speaker 1: is supposed to record it. She didn't. But long story short,
Speaker 1: like afterwards were like we should have that, like camera,
Speaker 1: we should have had that and then it was like, no,
Speaker 1: there's something to be said about the only people that
Speaker 1: can relive that moment is us, and now for the
Speaker 1: rest of our lives, we have to tell that story
Speaker 1: instead of being like, look what we did and just
Speaker 1: show your phone like, instead we have to be like, well,
Speaker 1: we were sitting in the living room, we're having dinner,
Speaker 1: and then we thought, up, okay, Jared, just go off
Speaker 1: and start saying something. So, um, I think that's one
Speaker 1: way to do it and just have moments for yourself. Um.
Speaker 1: But I think, honestly, to keep the romance alive, Granted,
Speaker 1: I've only been in a relationship for you know, a
Speaker 1: couple of months here, so it's not like, you know,
Speaker 1: seventeen years. But I think one thing you have to
Speaker 1: actively like I can already feel comfortability level with Ashley,
Speaker 1: Like we've been dating for ten years, and so I
Speaker 1: find myself sometimes being like no, no, no no, no, make
Speaker 1: sure you know you like be like hey you look
Speaker 1: great today, or like just kiss her hand or something
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, I can't keep my hands off her.
Speaker 1: So what's what's on the horizon for what's the select
Speaker 1: couple named Joshulely Uh Joshually, Yeah, that was that was
Speaker 1: that was labeled back in the first season of Paradise. God,
Speaker 1: we're bringing that back. It's so funny, j astually. Actually,
Speaker 1: what's what's next for Joshley. Well, I'm gonna be in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles because, uh again, I knew that if I
Speaker 1: was going to cross that threshold, I'd be here in
Speaker 1: l A for the foreseeable futures. So we'll see. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're you know, Ashley and I are together, We're madly
Speaker 1: in love. We're very very very happy, um, And so
Speaker 1: I'm excited for the future. I'm excited to see what comes.
Speaker 1: But for right now, I think it's been such a
Speaker 1: roller coaster of a ride between Ashal and myself, which
Speaker 1: is why we wanted to really kind of just date
Speaker 1: for a while and have a very low key relationship
Speaker 1: and work on each other, um before we we even
Speaker 1: started talking about it in the public. Um. And so
Speaker 1: I think for us it's just more so dating and
Speaker 1: being boyfriend girlfriend and continuing doing exactly what we've been doing,
Speaker 1: which is um, you know, falling, falling more and one
Speaker 1: love every day. As all of us in this room
Speaker 1: right now are your faithful Instagram followers. Are we gonna
Speaker 1: be able to see you guys being cute together on
Speaker 1: Instagram constantly? Now, oh, of course she's you know, she's
Speaker 1: already passed to me about posting stuff. Yeah, of course
Speaker 1: we have. So there's no picture of you up yet.
Speaker 1: Dean took a wonderful picture a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 1: and so this is the first time I've heard about
Speaker 1: the relationship he may have. He was like, what are
Speaker 1: you guys doing. I'll take a good picture of you
Speaker 1: guys friends kiss um, Well, is that going to be
Speaker 1: your guys announcement picture? Because it totally should be. Are
Speaker 1: you gonna get the photo cred? I'm not gonna care
Speaker 1: about photograd I just want to know that I was
Speaker 1: part of that moment. Ah. Yeah, it will make sure
Speaker 1: to three or something. I don't want to be tagged.
Speaker 1: I just wanted to be my picture that you get
Speaker 1: to post it. No, no, no, you guys, I'm going
Speaker 1: to post it obviously as well. Well maybe not, I
Speaker 1: don't know, um, but it just is it would be
Speaker 1: cool to know that when you guys announce it via picture,
Speaker 1: I was the one that took it. I don't need
Speaker 1: photo cred or tagging or anything that well, the picture
Speaker 1: I'm going to post later is not the pictures. Well,
Speaker 1: maybe I can talk you into it. Maybe, I am.
Speaker 1: I'm sure everyone here we're very happy for you. Thank
Speaker 1: you know, I'm You're like, you're just I am, and
Speaker 1: you know what, And obviously because of you know, the relationship,
Speaker 1: IM in and then so happy. But I also think
Speaker 1: I think one of the best things that has come
Speaker 1: from the timing of all of this is that not
Speaker 1: a day will go by that I don't feel appreciate.
Speaker 1: I I don't appreciate the fact that I'm with Ashley,
Speaker 1: you know, because of everything that's happened, of everything that's happened,
Speaker 1: like they could have easily gone. And so I think
Speaker 1: I think that's something that I'm always going to be
Speaker 1: grateful for the fact that I will never take for
Speaker 1: granted what she means to me. Hey, and if you
Speaker 1: guys ever go through a rough patch, if you ever start,
Speaker 1: which I'm sure it's going to happen, like what you
Speaker 1: could do is just come back, listen to this episode
Speaker 1: and be like, wow, I should be grateful for the
Speaker 1: things that I have exactly said about anything trivial or
Speaker 1: anything like that. Um, have you got Are you guys
Speaker 1: gonna be like going on dates, going to dinner all
Speaker 1: that kind of stuff. Oh yeah, we're going on a
Speaker 1: double day later with there's a strman boyfriend. Are you guys,
Speaker 1: Are you guys going to Lunar Grill? Yeah, we might be.
Speaker 1: You know about Luna Grill, right of course. Well, first
Speaker 1: of all, in honor of national military appreciation with the
Speaker 1: Luna Ill has debuted the Warrior Rap And actually what's
Speaker 1: funny is Vanessa and I both are decked out in
Speaker 1: full camel for this Lunar Grill spot right, I wasn't
Speaker 1: on the email chain. Um, so basically what they're doing
Speaker 1: they're made with euros. I'm not mispronouncing that, am Now
Speaker 1: you got it? Okay, made with gyros, simply spicy yogurt,
Speaker 1: sauceped a tomato and let us on a choice of
Speaker 1: multigrane lavash or peta lavash. I think I'm saying that right.
Speaker 1: And one dollar from each Warrior Rep sold during this
Speaker 1: month and May will benefit two amazing veterans organizations, both
Speaker 1: the Hope for the Warriors and the Warrior Foundation Freedom Station.
Speaker 1: They have forty five locations in all southern California, Dallas,
Speaker 1: Fort Worth, UM, and they offer some wholesome, fresh to
Speaker 1: order Mediterranean cuisine in a contemporary setting. I've actually been
Speaker 1: there quite a few times and I love it. Mediterranean
Speaker 1: food is one of my favorites. So if you want
Speaker 1: to get in on the National Military Appreciation Month action,
Speaker 1: visit Lunar Grill dot com and follow at Lunar Grill
Speaker 1: on social media for updates. Their food is delicious, it's healthy,
Speaker 1: it's for good cause obviously. We love supporting the veterans
Speaker 1: and the military. UM. So check it out Luna Grill
Speaker 1: dot com and follow Luna Grill on social media. It's
Speaker 1: just at l u n A g r. I l
Speaker 1: l eat some delicious pieda do some good stuff for
Speaker 1: everyone around you. Check it out. Boom that really good. UM.
Speaker 1: Let's get to some emails or not. We gotta wrap. Sorry,
Speaker 1: we're gonna wrap. You know, we appreciate the emails. I
Speaker 1: wanted to bring this one back. We brought this one
Speaker 1: back from last week. Okay, well that's the question. I mean,
Speaker 1: let's do want to we want to question Dean whether
Speaker 1: or not you're really single, which is what you said,
Speaker 1: Like we can address that. I saw one of those
Speaker 1: emails of that Jared's been so open today Dean. Katie
Speaker 1: wants to know. She says, I saw a picture on
Speaker 1: Facebook about your you and Christina at stagecoach. Explain it please,
Speaker 1: Well it's two eighteen. I mean photoshop and photo editing.
Speaker 1: It's crazy technology, I'm telling you, of course, of course
Speaker 1: I'm kidding. Um No, I mean I saw Christina at
Speaker 1: stage coach. That's about the long and short of it.
Speaker 1: Were we saw each other. We watched Garth Brooks for
Speaker 1: a little bit. I als would like to say as
Speaker 1: a Bachelor alum, Venessa can attest this to like a
Speaker 1: lot of the people from the franchise, very like everybody's
Speaker 1: at Cotchella Arabs a stagecoach, so like everybody's there from
Speaker 1: the bas weekend. Oh I know you are not. So
Speaker 1: to address Katie's point, yes, I saw Christina a stage coach.
Speaker 1: But yes, I also I am really single as single
Speaker 1: ath Yeah. Um. There was this uh bar stool podcast
Speaker 1: Hello ben um food right the best. They have a
Speaker 1: segment that they do every week, um and I thought
Speaker 1: it was pretty funny and it's a potential we could
Speaker 1: possibly introduce it to this podcast where if you go
Speaker 1: onto the podcast store, leave us a five star review,
Speaker 1: but roast the crap out of us in the commun
Speaker 1: then we could potentially read your review on the air
Speaker 1: next week. So leave us up. It's like our version
Speaker 1: of mean tweets exactly. So leave us a five star review,
Speaker 1: roast us, and we'll potentially read the on the next steps.
Speaker 1: Will take it just I mean, it seems like at all,
Speaker 1: but it has to be five stars. That's the thing anyways,
Speaker 1: big thing. Oh wait, actually no, this is m Vanessa's
Speaker 1: outreuss and she did the intro today. Don't you do it?
Speaker 1: You do it all right? All right? Well that was fast.
Speaker 1: Well big thank you to Klin Rosenberg. Be sure check
Speaker 1: out the Lodge Social Club dot com. It sounds like
Speaker 1: a pretty cool thing. They have pop ups all over
Speaker 1: the place. Um, they had one in New York, in
Speaker 1: l A and all that kind of stuff. Um, thank
Speaker 1: you for listening. Jared would love to answer any questions
Speaker 1: you have about Joshually you have any questions, let's let's
Speaker 1: keep the focus of that this week the next five weeks,
Speaker 1: be sure to email us at I suck a Dating
Speaker 1: at iHeartMedia dot com. Like Jared just said he'd love
Speaker 1: to answer any questions of course, like I'm not gonna continue.
Speaker 1: It's great that. Uh. I guess so Jared's in a
Speaker 1: relationship now one of three, two more to go. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess I don't suck too bad. AG I'm getting graduate.
Speaker 1: Can you only see the autra for us? I'm what
Speaker 1: do we say? Listening to this week's episode of Help,
Speaker 1: I Suck at Dating? Hopefully next week I will suck
Speaker 1: lesson we all will less? I Suck at Dating with
Speaker 1: Dean Anglert on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to podcasts