1 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:05,080 Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This is I'm 2 00:00:05,080 --> 00:00:09,800 Speaker 1: yours Kevin Pollock. Yes, that Kevin Pollock. That okay. On 3 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:12,760 Speaker 1: one hand, you've got five and on the other hand, opinion. 4 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,280 Speaker 1: The question is when will we ever have one without 5 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:21,479 Speaker 1: the other? But let's meet our alchemists? Shall we? In 6 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,720 Speaker 1: no particular orders? Say hello? But that's a ragling moniche 7 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: so far. What's Oliver's favorite food? Oh, everyone's got one. Oh, 8 00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: it won't be judged smoothies or something like that. Let 9 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,639 Speaker 1: smoothie as a category. I mean talk to the hand. 10 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 1: It's Joey Greer. Listen, Graaer, me too. Why is so 11 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,600 Speaker 1: handsy today? I can put too much lotion on and 12 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 1: I'm trying to wipe it off on others. Yeah, I 13 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: appreciate the honesty. Down goes Frasier. There's Craig Kikowski, Kako. 14 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 1: Did you have a favorite boxer growing up? And why him? Well, 15 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:01,400 Speaker 1: you know boxers tim to get hip displaysia. So I 16 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 1: think he only lived till seven. But he was a 17 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: good boy. He drooled a lot. Uh and his name 18 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: was Bonzo. Yeah, he was hit by a car. But 19 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: he was your favorite My favorite boxer. If it's Wednesday. 20 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: It must because Alvarado Alvarado Party of Love, your favorite 21 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:22,360 Speaker 1: dancer of all time. Um um um. It could be 22 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:24,520 Speaker 1: just someone you know, No, I know who it is. 23 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:30,479 Speaker 1: It's um bogg Boggleo shrimp from Elected from Breaking Electric 24 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:36,400 Speaker 1: Boogalo Yeah, boggle shrimp, bog shrimp, Yah Boogaloo shrimp. Yeah. 25 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: It's like a side and salad with the buggalo shrimp. 26 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 1: Don't make fun of him and I just don't ever know. 27 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: I just confirming the name and last. But mate, Joey, 28 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: cuddle you if you think him Leasa, it's James Heeney, 29 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 1: Jim Jackie Jack. How many avocados does it usually take 30 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: to stop a fish? Avocados to stop a fish? I 31 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:57,800 Speaker 1: am sorry, you are not going to be able to 32 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: stop a fish with any avocados. That's correct. Thank you. 33 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 1: Let's do a damn show as always, A special thanks 34 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 1: to all of our patron v i P members uh 35 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,960 Speaker 1: If you would like to become one, just go to 36 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: Patreon dot com slash alchemy this enjoy all the special 37 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:15,840 Speaker 1: content available just to Patreon v i P s almost 38 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,679 Speaker 1: all of our scene suggestions that ever gathered from our 39 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: listener emails. If you'd like to submit yours, please write 40 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,640 Speaker 1: to the podcast that your name here at alcovey this 41 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 1: dot com. That's your name here at alcove me this 42 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: dot com. Seme one comes from Robert, who wrote, Hey, gang, 43 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:33,120 Speaker 1: been listening since episode one. Your show is the highlight 44 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,359 Speaker 1: of every Tuesday and Thursday. Any who, I had a 45 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:41,079 Speaker 1: vision a grocery store produced manager clearly has an unhealthy 46 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:48,359 Speaker 1: infatuation with bananas. Everyone, everyone, especially the co workers, assume 47 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: it's sexual, but it's definitely not. What is it? I'd 48 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:59,680 Speaker 1: sure like to know? Cheers and thanks Robert. Attention shoppers. 49 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 1: All forks are half off? Honey? Do we need forks? 50 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 1: I don't know. I just they're half off. I know 51 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 1: they're half off the fork. Do you think it? Timmy, 52 00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 1: he's in college and he's doing good and still doesn't 53 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: know how to use it for Serey. Sorry, uh and uh. 54 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 1: I just think maybe we should just go and visit him. 55 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: Maybe we should just go just pop in. Why not, 56 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,880 Speaker 1: he'd love to see us. No, we got to give 57 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: him space. Come on, so sorry, it looks like you 58 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,880 Speaker 1: guys are having a private conversation with the manager here, 59 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,960 Speaker 1: and I'd like to just give you a sample of 60 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:45,680 Speaker 1: this banana. I've made them into small little they're just 61 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 1: in your hand. Well yeah, but they have the peel 62 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: around them which keeps them safe. My name is Brian. 63 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:57,720 Speaker 1: Brian here, no really, please talk, thank you. Here, this 64 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: one's for you. It's a little cylinder. This just banana. 65 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: It's a banana. Yeah. Try that. It's the peel around 66 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: it's what you're not wearing gloves. No, I don't need 67 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,760 Speaker 1: to the peel around it. I've cut it into cylinder pieces. 68 00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:17,240 Speaker 1: It's like sushi, but on the outside. Try it. Ted. 69 00:04:17,279 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: I think this is so romantic. So once a week 70 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 1: we come into this grocery store and we pick out 71 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: our favorite food items and we make a romantic dinner 72 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:30,720 Speaker 1: and then we do things. I know, I think it's romantic. 73 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,280 Speaker 1: I was thinking this week, what if we made it 74 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 1: a bit of a competition. Yeah, I'll give you a 75 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,160 Speaker 1: couple ingredients or something, or you know, something we can 76 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 1: agree on, and we'll go pick up the groceries and 77 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,839 Speaker 1: then go home and whip up something. Hey, I'm sorry, 78 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:50,840 Speaker 1: you all know where the sugar is? Yeah, sugar's out 79 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: three three? All right, I'm sorry. Do you'll know where 80 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: the flower is three. All the bacon goods are there. 81 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,240 Speaker 1: You're so good, You're so good. I'm sorry, don't were 82 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 1: some pasta? Pasta is off for it's you? Okay, thank you, 83 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,080 Speaker 1: Like I spent a lot of time in the groceries. 84 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,039 Speaker 1: You don't have to tell me anytime. You're now my 85 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: note to called the grocers. You gonna give me those gredis? 86 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,200 Speaker 1: How do you guys work here? I'm looking for the kid? 87 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:18,760 Speaker 1: You kid? You catch up his out five? You do 88 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: work here? No? I don't work here. How do you 89 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 1: know what? I'm at the grocery store a lot? Are 90 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:27,400 Speaker 1: you grocery stores too? So to see? He loves them, 91 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,160 Speaker 1: he loves them. Well, do you know who the vinegar? 92 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:34,599 Speaker 1: Vinegar is also out five? Next to the kids? Well? 93 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 1: I did pretty close. Yeah, you are good. Okay, let's 94 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,839 Speaker 1: start with artich chokes, strawberries. You know what strawberries are. 95 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 1: Strawberries would be in the protece, and of course they would, 96 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,440 Speaker 1: which end those stories. It's never been at okay, from 97 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:51,599 Speaker 1: it's two our left, two our left. You're right, sorry, 98 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: you're right? Shop versus? Is there a reason we're all 99 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 1: kind of bunching around the door here? An issue for you. 100 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: It is Yeah, has four manager? It is an issue. 101 00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:03,320 Speaker 1: We've got a line out the door of people trying 102 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,960 Speaker 1: to get in the grocery store. How many managers on 103 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,919 Speaker 1: the flo? We have six on the floor that I 104 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,680 Speaker 1: have the store. I never heard of a line up. Well, 105 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: we have a very nice facility. No cutting, no cutting him, 106 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:27,800 Speaker 1: don't shut cutting right now? Shut you you were cutting? Okay, 107 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,240 Speaker 1: we don't want any issues here, no problem. Just keep 108 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: walking on and don't touch me. Don't tell me to 109 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,960 Speaker 1: keep walking. But we were going to keep walking anyway, right, Well, 110 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: then great, then we're agreed. My girlfriend and I were 111 00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: just doing some erotic four play and then U numerous 112 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:45,720 Speaker 1: people asked me where's certain items? Hello? I'm sorry, I'm 113 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,719 Speaker 1: I'm distributing these new bananas, and I wanted to know 114 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,560 Speaker 1: if I could touch anybody who works here. You work here? 115 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:54,920 Speaker 1: Why are you sure you don't work? I think you 116 00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:59,160 Speaker 1: probably went Brian, you can also talk about the banana. Brian, 117 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,040 Speaker 1: Why are you are so hard? I just I just 118 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:05,280 Speaker 1: those are new bananas and I haven't seen those kinds before. Now, sir, 119 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 1: what kind of bananas do you like? Um? I guess 120 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:12,360 Speaker 1: I like them? Walk and talk with me. Come back, now, 121 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,000 Speaker 1: what do you think about bananas? What do you have? 122 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,200 Speaker 1: I mean, I like plantains? Yeah, I mean are those bananas? 123 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,520 Speaker 1: Are there their form of bananas? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, of course. 124 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:24,080 Speaker 1: And you like him crisped up like the caramelized Oh yeah, 125 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: my doodos. Yeah, like hot bananas. Please get back, let 126 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,840 Speaker 1: me ask you this. Okay, now put this banana in 127 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,560 Speaker 1: your hand. Uh okay, Now do you think hu much 128 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:39,880 Speaker 1: perfectly evolved? I get the feeling my husband loves grocery 129 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 1: stories more than he loves me, and that's why I 130 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 1: was kind of snapping at you earlier. I forgive you. 131 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 1: You're just the floor manager, but you're also a woman. 132 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,320 Speaker 1: I am, so you probably know what I'm talking about. 133 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,240 Speaker 1: Weird assumption. Yeah, you know how like man always like 134 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:57,200 Speaker 1: their produce more than they like their women. You know 135 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,880 Speaker 1: what I'm talking about. I don't know what you're talking No, 136 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:08,160 Speaker 1: I'm I'm sorry. If something happened in the line outside 137 00:08:08,440 --> 00:08:13,800 Speaker 1: that's not in our direct fiction inside. You know, I 138 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: actually have a woman to a woman. Please one of 139 00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:21,440 Speaker 1: the other four managers. It's a guy, and it's kind 140 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 1: of the same problem you're talking about with you. You're 141 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,600 Speaker 1: a guy where it's like he's so into the produce 142 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 1: and you're like, I'm right here. Well I'm more like, 143 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 1: what's going on? Yeah, me too, because I'm not doing 144 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:35,240 Speaker 1: anything erotic with him. Oh maybe that's the issue. Now. 145 00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 1: I hear your point. I hear your point. But but 146 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,040 Speaker 1: but you have to hear mine too. That is perfectly 147 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,480 Speaker 1: designed for humans. Well sure, yeah, I I guess so yeah, 148 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,040 Speaker 1: right right, right, right, right, but I mean apes. We're 149 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:50,079 Speaker 1: eating bananas before us, right, yeah, but we don't cover mapes. Okay, okay, 150 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 1: we don't know. I think we do. Yeah, orange juice. 151 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: That's all all the juices, are they? Okay, so you 152 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: get my so, sir, sir, put this banan in your hand, okay, okay, okay, 153 00:09:06,559 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 1: but you get it a minute. It does fit perfectly 154 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: in my hand, right, and that it feels good only 155 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,199 Speaker 1: on the weight of it. Exactly intelligent design. Hey, guys, 156 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 1: glad I got up with you. I'm sorry. You can 157 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: keep shopping. I'm so sorry that the banana salesman is okay, 158 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:25,440 Speaker 1: all right, uh uh, I'd love to pitch me. I 159 00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:26,840 Speaker 1: was in the middle of that. I'm talking to one 160 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: that's a that's a customer. I'm one of six you 161 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,960 Speaker 1: are you are a customer? Mind, I'm not okay, I'm 162 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,040 Speaker 1: trying to sell to you, sir, Sir make it I 163 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: could have bana sample bank. Oh yes, now, sir, I 164 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: have a question for you. Just coming really quick. Okay, 165 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,160 Speaker 1: there you are? Okay? Yes, what is it? Not? Tell 166 00:09:44,200 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: him what you told me that you believe that, but 167 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 1: it is our our destined from God. I did not 168 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: say that. Not. Fine. Did you see where the guy 169 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,560 Speaker 1: with the banana? Sir? I was looking for the guy 170 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:57,199 Speaker 1: with the bananas too. He's so swift. He see me 171 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 1: get away from Let me get to the bottom of it. 172 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,040 Speaker 1: What's do you have a minute? I do, but we 173 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,559 Speaker 1: should walk and talk about time I saw him. He 174 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: hoofed it away from me. You don't seem so invested 175 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: in anything else. I couldn't get you excited about pasta 176 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 1: sauce talking last week, clearly famously unexcited. Well, what's your thing? 177 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,160 Speaker 1: I wouldn't want to take that away from you, and 178 00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:24,360 Speaker 1: you wouldn't want to take bananas. Don't grab my neck 179 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: when you say whoa speeze racer? Hey, honey, I've been 180 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 1: looking all over for you while I was looking for you. 181 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,680 Speaker 1: I sorry, I've only got the artichokes. Okay. I just 182 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 1: want to make sure that you are as excited about 183 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:40,079 Speaker 1: things as I am. Sure, okay, okay, because sometimes I 184 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 1: feel like maybe you're looking for to get your own 185 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 1: rocks off, you know what I mean? Why why do 186 00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:47,560 Speaker 1: you say that? It just feels like we come to 187 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: the grocery store, I start to lose you. Oh good, 188 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 1: I found you too. Where's the banana guye? I don't 189 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:59,079 Speaker 1: know where the banana guy. Don't don't touch my husband, like, 190 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,959 Speaker 1: hey took the banana the man and I needed to 191 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,240 Speaker 1: talk to him. By the way, you should be nicer 192 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:06,440 Speaker 1: to your to your employees, your coworkers. Why I talked 193 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,600 Speaker 1: to that pretty floor manager who the pretty the one 194 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 1: of the six? What happened to you? Who's an accidents? 195 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: Did you crusher her throats? No? Do something? Look right? 196 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,520 Speaker 1: And you're completely right? Okay? Who knows how the universe 197 00:11:23,559 --> 00:11:30,320 Speaker 1: was made? Right? It was probably intelligent design and architect right, right, yeah, yeah, exactly, 198 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 1: we all do right now. We did not come from 199 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 1: monkey's right, No, of course, not came from the valley exactly, 200 00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 1: the valley of the gods. Jesus. Yeah, I'm not sure 201 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,319 Speaker 1: what's going now now, Okay, you've gone through a couple 202 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 1: of bananas, so attention, customers. Forks are now full price. 203 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:57,760 Speaker 1: Forks are now full price half so so so that's 204 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: my point, right, you buy these bana works? No, sorry, 205 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,360 Speaker 1: I don't know yet. Okay, but I'm selling these bananas. 206 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: You are selling something, Yes, I'm trying to get them 207 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 1: at the front display, trying to get the bananas across 208 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:12,959 Speaker 1: the where you are. Hey, hi, hi, I'm the manage 209 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,240 Speaker 1: to one of the floor managers and you keep even 210 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,360 Speaker 1: to slip away. Excuse me, customer, you can go. I'll 211 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,959 Speaker 1: be happy to you. So did you take your hand 212 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,880 Speaker 1: away from that man's neck. I need to hold on 213 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: to it because he seems to be slippery. Okay, what 214 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,400 Speaker 1: do you want? I want to know about the bananas? Okay, 215 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,160 Speaker 1: just calm down. Let me just finish talking to this guy. 216 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 1: Don't get to need you to pay attention to me. 217 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 1: I'm a big fan of finanas, okay, okay, okay, okay, 218 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 1: put me down, okay, okay, sets you down. Do not 219 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: walk away from me, okay, okay, okay, Hi, Oh my gosh, 220 00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 1: what I is this it looks like I've been used 221 00:12:52,400 --> 00:13:06,760 Speaker 1: in years. Marshman, marshmall, welcome to all nine cat Okay, 222 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,560 Speaker 1: just take one of bananas. Lets pray together, okay, and 223 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,520 Speaker 1: no God gonna save you. I don't think so. I 224 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: didn't think you understand how these bananas work. They proved 225 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 1: that God is real? All right? What do you want 226 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 1: from this? What do you want? What you need? What 227 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,719 Speaker 1: do we want? What do you want? Your So you're 228 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,720 Speaker 1: getting here? So what give him here? So alright, guys, 229 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 1: I'm really sorry with the way I behaved like earlier. 230 00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,720 Speaker 1: The banana guy got away and I saw him duck 231 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: into Aisle nine and a half, and I can't what's 232 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 1: nine and a half? It's that secret aisle that it's uh, 233 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,440 Speaker 1: you have to get in just at the right time. 234 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: So could somebody help me? I'm looking at you. I 235 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,760 Speaker 1: don't work here. I shouldn't be in on this meeting. 236 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 1: You clearly know how to get into Aisle nine and 237 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 1: a half. Look, my girlfriend and I are trying to 238 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,920 Speaker 1: get to get some some food to make each other 239 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:01,360 Speaker 1: for dinner. Okay, yeah, yeah, so maybe pick somebody else. 240 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:05,000 Speaker 1: Maybe if you could help her with her crushed larious 241 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 1: it seems like a team a guy in order for Clint, Clint, 242 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: I got some hot yogurt, Clint. Yeah, oh here here Man? 243 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,840 Speaker 1: Do you guys ever wait in line for people? Like? 244 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,600 Speaker 1: Is there a service for that? Uh? I don't know. Man. 245 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: What if I paid you some cash? Are you wait 246 00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:20,360 Speaker 1: in line for me and then you let me know 247 00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:21,880 Speaker 1: when it's time for me to go in the grocery store? 248 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,400 Speaker 1: All right? Yeah? Hell yeah, alright? Uh fifty bucks? Alright, 249 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,720 Speaker 1: fifty bucks there and fifty bucks for later? Wait? What 250 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,800 Speaker 1: kind of deal are y'all doing much? Nothing? I'll bring 251 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: back dude. What just happens? This guy's a poster. He's 252 00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: not even really waiting to get into this. I just 253 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 1: get cut, cut, cut that guy's spot. No, that's not 254 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 1: how the grocery line works. That's not how the grocery 255 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:53,920 Speaker 1: line of that hundred dollars my eng No, no, no, 256 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: we're all waiting in line too. I know he paid 257 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,040 Speaker 1: me to wait for his spots, So it's not that's 258 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:02,840 Speaker 1: not how this works. Definitely rules just right. You think 259 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 1: you're in Russia and not thinking a thing. Honestly, I 260 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: lost a hundred dollars then for money doing Man, I'm 261 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,000 Speaker 1: just I'm waiting in line for him and for me. 262 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:16,400 Speaker 1: I'm waiting in line for both of us. Give me. Hey, 263 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 1: I guess I'm waiting in line forever. I don't know 264 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: what we're doing. Wait all right, hey man, I'm back. 265 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:24,880 Speaker 1: Thanks for waiting on line. Man. They just took my money. 266 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,120 Speaker 1: All right, here's the money. There you go, Thank you man. 267 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: You're welcome. Any other problems we didn't like the way 268 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:34,480 Speaker 1: that was handled line culture. I didn't mean to hurt 269 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 1: your feelings. What were hurt my feelings? Bitch? Why your 270 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,840 Speaker 1: eyes watering? Everyone was the etiquette thing. It wasn't feeling. 271 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: It's just like, I'm not trying. Like I've been in 272 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 1: line for two hours. So listen. The fact that you're 273 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 1: here pure evil must mean that there's pure good, must 274 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,640 Speaker 1: mean there's a god. Okay, you see what I'm saying. Now, 275 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,880 Speaker 1: Like taking another banana, Keep taking the banana, Okay, just 276 00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 1: give you Okay, now, now you give them yourself as 277 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 1: soon as we can get at peel that and tell 278 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:08,000 Speaker 1: me there is an intelligent design. Okay, happy now, banana man. 279 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 1: If that lizard creature could just peel it instead of 280 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:12,480 Speaker 1: just sucking it up, I think we would understand that 281 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 1: it's it's perfectly designed for human being, was designed my lizard. God. 282 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:20,480 Speaker 1: Ok I'm not that's fake news. Nine and a half. 283 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 1: Nine and a half okay, nine so so pro banana tip. 284 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 1: By the way, rather than opening it from the stock, 285 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 1: you pinch it at the bottom. Talking right off that way, 286 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,200 Speaker 1: kidding me, it's just like when the the apes first 287 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: started eating bananas. Let me try right off from here. 288 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,200 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you've changed my life. Yeah, I know, 289 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:47,120 Speaker 1: I know, right, nothing, excuse me, I gotta get all 290 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:51,320 Speaker 1: my forks for the week. Okay, but you didn't show 291 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:54,320 Speaker 1: me how to get into aisle nine and a half. Big, 292 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 1: Thank god you're home. Did you get the ban anecdote? Yes? 293 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:04,520 Speaker 1: I did. I'm so sick. Give it to him. We've 294 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,680 Speaker 1: got to keep trying. We've had the one that can 295 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 1: cure our side. All right. Well, the good news is 296 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:11,200 Speaker 1: this one. I think if we just hold them, we're 297 00:17:11,200 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 1: gonna try opening in a new way. You're looking for 298 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:33,280 Speaker 1: a bananecdote, A story about banana No One, Dear Alchemist, 299 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:37,719 Speaker 1: This is hands down one of the best podcasts out there, 300 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: hands down one of the best. But the front of 301 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 1: that which only means it's not the I saw list 302 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,119 Speaker 1: of the best of two thousand nineteen and was surprised 303 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:52,359 Speaker 1: y'all are not on top. I wish James would stop 304 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,399 Speaker 1: emailing us about this fucking list, say suggestion. I was 305 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 1: listening to another podcast that Dollop and heard a story 306 00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,880 Speaker 1: about a French kid who personated a missing American boy 307 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,240 Speaker 1: get out of trouble in France. The kid convinced the 308 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,880 Speaker 1: family of the missing boy that he was in fact 309 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,240 Speaker 1: they're missing child, and they brought him to their home 310 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 1: in Texas. He lived with them for six months before 311 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:13,640 Speaker 1: people finally figured out he was an impostor Please recreate, Recreate. 312 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,160 Speaker 1: The first day, the parents brought a French kid home 313 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 1: and tried to convince their Texas relatives that this was 314 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: in fact they're missing son. Sorry for the long email. 315 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: Love the show drew from South Carolina. Hi, Hello, my 316 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: my family. Wow, it's so nice to see you. You 317 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:38,359 Speaker 1: all came to the airport. Wow. I missed you. Oh 318 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:44,280 Speaker 1: my god, he looks so different, Mama, I missed you? 319 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,200 Speaker 1: What not nothing this one. We can't go to Europe 320 00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:52,200 Speaker 1: to change. You can change, Daddy. Wait when need to 321 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:57,200 Speaker 1: go to Europe? We're talking about been gone justin France 322 00:18:57,240 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 1: and came home back. That was wrong with canna talk. 323 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 1: I don't want to talk at the airport. You've been drinking. 324 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 1: I've been living. I've been trying to get through the 325 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,919 Speaker 1: damn day. What the hills wrong? You just look for 326 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:17,880 Speaker 1: a job. How long have you been working to that factory? Huh? 327 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:21,919 Speaker 1: I got two degrees? Mother, father, I'm home now, just 328 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:26,480 Speaker 1: Texas loving. Let's just love on each other, y'all. Texas 329 00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,560 Speaker 1: is But listen, this is Texas, alright. Yes, ye, I'm 330 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,320 Speaker 1: emotionally stunted, so I don't know how to connect with 331 00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 1: you in the way that I should. All right, In fact, 332 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,359 Speaker 1: I'm aware with that is progress. That's as far as 333 00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 1: this is Texas. I ate sweat and drink alcohol and cheer. 334 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,880 Speaker 1: Come on, Claire, let's just say you thing alright. People 335 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,000 Speaker 1: don't just kind of Texas thing. That's just is the 336 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 1: family waiting for me at home. They are son, They 337 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 1: got all the steer horns ready, and they know I 338 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,119 Speaker 1: look a little so can you help me with this? 339 00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,000 Speaker 1: The boy has been gone for six months, right, and 340 00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 1: uh he just shows up right at the airport. That's right? Uh? 341 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,640 Speaker 1: I mean, I think, can I butt in, please someone? 342 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,359 Speaker 1: I think the kid was going for years, not six months. 343 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,480 Speaker 1: I think he was going for years. So now they 344 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: lost him when he was a child, that's right. Now 345 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:22,680 Speaker 1: he came back as an adult, so he's grown and changed. Yeah, 346 00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 1: oh absolutely, I'd love to here. We have to say. 347 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,200 Speaker 1: What I think had happened is that there were some 348 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:32,159 Speaker 1: kind of Tom portal that had opened up, and that 349 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:35,639 Speaker 1: the child stepped in so re emerged and through the 350 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: different dimensions that changed face and the way he touching 351 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: all that. Now, what do you base that on? I 352 00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,880 Speaker 1: based off the short story I wrote. Sure, it's called 353 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,120 Speaker 1: Tom Portal and a Little Boy. And you say he's 354 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,360 Speaker 1: been going for six years, not six months. I think 355 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,040 Speaker 1: it's even longer than six years, but it maybe at 356 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: least six years, and we we can argue over semantic 357 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,919 Speaker 1: six months, six years, six days. The important thing is 358 00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,040 Speaker 1: it's clearly there, and he's back, and he's bad, and 359 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 1: he's bad. He ain't that how he works. So we're 360 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,680 Speaker 1: exupposed to yell surprised when he comes out when he 361 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:11,199 Speaker 1: walks through, technically you're surprised, but if you want, I 362 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,480 Speaker 1: was just thinking, we just say welcome home, and maybe 363 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 1: don't even frighten him because he's been gone for a 364 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:19,640 Speaker 1: long time. Is there a cake? Are we sure? Are 365 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:23,400 Speaker 1: we sure that he wasn't dead? And they buried him 366 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,720 Speaker 1: in some sort of pets cemetery and that's what he's 367 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 1: come back from. Why would he come back from that. 368 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: I'll tell you all what. I'll tell you all what. 369 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:38,040 Speaker 1: You gotta try this case. So you're just using your hand. 370 00:21:38,119 --> 00:21:43,399 Speaker 1: You're just using your hand. Mother, father, Yeah, will my 371 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,720 Speaker 1: cousins be there? And my brothers and sisters. You don't 372 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,840 Speaker 1: have any brothers or sisters, but your cousin will be there, 373 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:52,400 Speaker 1: don't you name him off? Oh well, first, let's let 374 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,200 Speaker 1: me fix the fact that I thought I had brothers 375 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,840 Speaker 1: and sisters. It's all right, we all think we did. 376 00:21:56,359 --> 00:22:01,280 Speaker 1: Just remembered all the patients to have. When I left here, 377 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 1: I was a child. You are so tall, very small child. 378 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 1: And my hair color has changed because in France the 379 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: sun is different. I'm saying to Europe now, I do 380 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,080 Speaker 1: blame the alcohol, but I can't, for the life of me, 381 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:17,000 Speaker 1: remember how you got France. Who? Okay, now this little 382 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,960 Speaker 1: one keeps on following you, all right, I don't know 383 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:21,840 Speaker 1: who the hell that is keeps on saying Papa or 384 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:25,960 Speaker 1: something like that, that, yes, okay, this is my friends. 385 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,960 Speaker 1: What is that he's speaking to me in French? That 386 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 1: was very possible that. Of course in Europe the time 387 00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 1: moves differently over the metric system after Rexit, especially, six 388 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,919 Speaker 1: years could be six months. Are you saying that he 389 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 1: might be younger than twelve years old, because in my 390 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,600 Speaker 1: math he should be twelve. I'm saying, we don't even 391 00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: know what could be. He could have aged back. There's round, 392 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:01,439 Speaker 1: there's chili in, there's chili in the case. So's I 393 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: like it? There's too much? I got my hand white 394 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:06,480 Speaker 1: deep in though, this is a deep ball. So there's 395 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,359 Speaker 1: the house. Yeah, anything you need to tell me before 396 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 1: we got the house? What are you talking about? No? 397 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 1: I mean so, I mean like just as a house. 398 00:23:15,720 --> 00:23:21,680 Speaker 1: I mean these are houses. Just maybe we missed you. 399 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:27,479 Speaker 1: The bet of us also be friends just a little bit. Boy. 400 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,439 Speaker 1: I picked it up quick, smart boy, because ever were 401 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,600 Speaker 1: smart before? It's your jeans. You're too smart for what 402 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:37,000 Speaker 1: you do. I'm fun of the factory. Listen, if I'll 403 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,200 Speaker 1: take on a bigger job, there's going to be more expectations. 404 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 1: And with my anger can keep it. Look, just if 405 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 1: you cut the drink, you'll be able to do it. 406 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,919 Speaker 1: I can't do that because I like the ways and 407 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,320 Speaker 1: the way it makes me stop feeling feeling. That's the problem. 408 00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,520 Speaker 1: Rather father. I just wanted to make sure that my 409 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:56,600 Speaker 1: birth certificate and social Security card have been um gathered up. 410 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,040 Speaker 1: We have them, Yeah, we go. Yeah, because everybody it 411 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:04,160 Speaker 1: was excited for my return to the government tending those overcorrect. Yeah, 412 00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:06,239 Speaker 1: we had him the whole time. The government didn't take him. 413 00:24:06,280 --> 00:24:08,680 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, government doesn't take him when people are missing. 414 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 1: We don't have to get that. They have the file, 415 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,560 Speaker 1: but they were. I was such a small child when 416 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 1: I left. I don't know how that works. Yeah, they 417 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,800 Speaker 1: thought your father killed you. For two years. We were 418 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: embroiled in a crazy investigation. And now the sooner you 419 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,120 Speaker 1: confess I didn't do it, the sooner we can get 420 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,760 Speaker 1: out of this room. I didn't do it. He's in France. 421 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,400 Speaker 1: Can we get you something to drink? Yeah, what would 422 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 1: you like? I don't know, give me a glass of case? 423 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:37,160 Speaker 1: So sure, the same sort of case. So you killed 424 00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,320 Speaker 1: your son? Come on, what the hell? What kind of 425 00:24:39,400 --> 00:24:42,200 Speaker 1: leap is that? Mannah would you like a cigarette. Yeah, 426 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:43,960 Speaker 1: they dip it in some case, the same kind of 427 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,400 Speaker 1: cigarette you killed your Oh my god, what the hell, man? 428 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,200 Speaker 1: What the kind of leaps are lease? Man? Huh Jesus, 429 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:51,480 Speaker 1: are you a federal goddamn age and just doing this ship? 430 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,719 Speaker 1: I'm going to turn the cameras off. Why I want them? 431 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:56,879 Speaker 1: I want the ship on the record, man, and I 432 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 1: want you to just talk to me. Fuck you man, 433 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,439 Speaker 1: you're accusing me kill my goddamn kid, and kill my 434 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 1: kid if you didn't kill him? Where is it? Do 435 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,000 Speaker 1: you want some more time with my client? Can you 436 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,639 Speaker 1: please be in here? I don't want to stop coming in. 437 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,439 Speaker 1: I talked. Can I talk to the officer for a second. 438 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 1: I think he did it? What the fuck? Could you 439 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,480 Speaker 1: help us get what you pay for? Honey? I am 440 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:24,280 Speaker 1: state employee? Okay? So mama, okay, So it is my boy. 441 00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 1: Did you hear him say guys? Oh baby too? I 442 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:32,640 Speaker 1: have but you are you? It's me, It's me, it's me. 443 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:37,400 Speaker 1: So these are all my family? Hello, my family, Hello, 444 00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:43,040 Speaker 1: welcome back. I like cowboy boots. Oh man, you grew 445 00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:47,159 Speaker 1: up portal chup through a portal. Very funny, Uncle Todd. 446 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 1: That's not I don't have an uncle down No, I thought, 447 00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:58,320 Speaker 1: well we I did, but he died, right? Can everybody 448 00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:03,399 Speaker 1: just take it easy on? Um? Is that chraise the Lord? 449 00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:07,199 Speaker 1: Ain't he good? Ain't that what he does? Everybody have 450 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:11,080 Speaker 1: some kis? So welcome my boy back. I respect your wishes, Clarius, 451 00:26:11,080 --> 00:26:13,199 Speaker 1: But okay, I could just ask real quick, what are 452 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:16,720 Speaker 1: you being? Man? Yeah, that's such because I'm so tired. 453 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,359 Speaker 1: I'm so tired. You know there's an internet. I'm so telefied. 454 00:26:22,560 --> 00:26:28,280 Speaker 1: So you are from Texas and you have a family there. Yeah, 455 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:35,560 Speaker 1: that's right. Yeah, and uh you saddest I interrupt, but 456 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,240 Speaker 1: well you are from and the saddest thing happened to 457 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 1: my neighbor. What was that? What happened? A little boys missing? 458 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:46,920 Speaker 1: That's me? You're the lord? No, no, no, no, I'm 459 00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:51,200 Speaker 1: the family that had a little boy. You're the dad 460 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:53,760 Speaker 1: that killed the kids. Well, no, I didn't kill the 461 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 1: damn No wait, I heard you killed the kid. No 462 00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:00,520 Speaker 1: I did not. That's a goddamn fucking spread. No I didn't. 463 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:03,000 Speaker 1: The only way I'd believe he didn't kill that kid. 464 00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 1: As if some kids showed up, what room for a 465 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,520 Speaker 1: lot of scrutiny, didn't I'm gonna tell you right now, 466 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:13,960 Speaker 1: I didn't kill my son. That's insane, French motherfucker. That 467 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:19,760 Speaker 1: over closing. Yeah, the sank minute man, that's tower clothes 468 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 1: is so fucking early. What are you gonna do? Look, 469 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,560 Speaker 1: I didn't kill my son. And if you if you 470 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:35,680 Speaker 1: can stop saying that ship brink prink brink plank. Hello, Papa, 471 00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:42,360 Speaker 1: Oh sorry, I was disguising voice FBI looking for the 472 00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 1: French version of vodka. Wait are you having? My Russian 473 00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:58,200 Speaker 1: uncle's over too? We were right, he's bush. Get the 474 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 1: handful of this bush you, I mean, said a large party, Papa. 475 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 1: We'll leave, miss you very much. It's going well over here. 476 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:08,080 Speaker 1: They do not They do not even suspect one thing 477 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 1: own thing good. Maybe it should go unless this or something. Okay, 478 00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:20,240 Speaker 1: I just wanted to say that the plan is working. 479 00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,480 Speaker 1: I have infiltrated the Americans and uh, you know, we'll 480 00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:29,119 Speaker 1: keep in touch. Now, O did you go? So you 481 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,199 Speaker 1: just can't sell k so at the restaurant like this, 482 00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 1: it's just an open boat hot chase. So you can't 483 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:43,200 Speaker 1: just tell that. Please don't please do this outside in 484 00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,320 Speaker 1: the line, Please don't do this. The inside first handful 485 00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:52,240 Speaker 1: is free. Please do this outside with the case. So look, 486 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 1: you're gonna what do you sell normally? Here? What do 487 00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 1: we sell norm We sell hot dog slaves? And that's 488 00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 1: about it. Hot dog slaves? Uh? Well, how much better 489 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,720 Speaker 1: were those hot dogs sleeves? Be went a little case 490 00:29:04,720 --> 00:29:06,320 Speaker 1: of what you're talking about? Feling this hot dog sleeves 491 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 1: without the meat, just with case. Can I help you, sir? 492 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 1: This is my first day working here at the hot 493 00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,800 Speaker 1: dog sleeve Can you help me? What do you know him? Yeah, 494 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,680 Speaker 1: I'm shadowing you. I know you are. I was like, 495 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:17,600 Speaker 1: what the heck? We grew up together, you and I. 496 00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 1: I don't know you. Yes, we went to the same 497 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,680 Speaker 1: grade school. You just don't recognize me. But I killed him. 498 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:24,720 Speaker 1: Oh my god, you're that ghost boy. You know me. 499 00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:26,800 Speaker 1: We went to the same school together. I don't recognize 500 00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 1: the air. You know me. I'm your uncle? Yeah, yeah, 501 00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 1: I know you. Yeah, you know you're talking to me 502 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 1: like I'm just some customer. Okay, so okay, so hiy hi, 503 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:43,400 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I just wound off here or somebody. It's 504 00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:48,120 Speaker 1: some sort of rumbling about filling the hot dogs. Yeah, 505 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:53,080 Speaker 1: we were talking about that. He's sound. It's a great idea. 506 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,760 Speaker 1: And that's a great idea. Take a sleeve, a hot 507 00:29:55,880 --> 00:30:02,680 Speaker 1: dog sleeve with ca. Thanks for having the smoke break 508 00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 1: with me out back. You know, I'm glad to have 509 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,239 Speaker 1: my best friend back in my life. I don't know you, man, 510 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 1: but it's important to me that you remember all the 511 00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:14,720 Speaker 1: good times we have. I'm gonna be honest. I don't 512 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 1: think you're that little boy that that everyone thinks you are. 513 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: Why do you say that? Because I heard you speak 514 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 1: in Russian and then France. All right, but what does 515 00:30:21,440 --> 00:30:23,080 Speaker 1: that have to do with him? Because no one from 516 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 1: Texas knows those language. Those are those are bad. I 517 00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,800 Speaker 1: was abducted as a Child's not my fault. Is that 518 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 1: everyone in Texas gets abducted. Aren't you my best friend? Look? Okay, fine, 519 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,080 Speaker 1: were you best friends with the person that you think 520 00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 1: I am impersonating? Yes, his name was James and that's 521 00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,240 Speaker 1: my name. On a second, hello, Oh sorry, I think 522 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 1: I might have the wrong number you're looking at. It 523 00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:49,800 Speaker 1: was giving your rumber by a friend. Is it my dad? 524 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:53,160 Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean there's any suspicion with your 525 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 1: from Okay, go on, I'm sorry to cut you off. 526 00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,600 Speaker 1: I'm just saying like you bet or treat him with 527 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:03,840 Speaker 1: because sometimes the French and the little sounder cream right 528 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:06,479 Speaker 1: on that handful of thank you very much. Who are 529 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,080 Speaker 1: you calling? I'm calling you and I don't want you 530 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,800 Speaker 1: to out my your best friend. Okay, so this is 531 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:19,040 Speaker 1: just a confirmation called the corner? Where do you put 532 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:28,640 Speaker 1: the dog? C Number two my lord story. It's a movie, 533 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,640 Speaker 1: the Impostor, Yes, and it's so good. I mean it's 534 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:36,880 Speaker 1: a documentary. Think it's very but I've seen the orphan 535 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:38,800 Speaker 1: and like it was there something crazy with his eyes, 536 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 1: his eye color. I mean, it's pretty much as we 537 00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:52,160 Speaker 1: just told it. Yeah, they didn't be ok C Number 538 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 1: three comes from Daniel, who wrote your number one fan 539 00:31:55,800 --> 00:32:00,880 Speaker 1: in San Antonio. Here, Daniel Gros tell all my friends 540 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: about this podcast, and those who don't immediately subscribe and 541 00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:11,280 Speaker 1: become a fan are apparently freaking idiots. Your friends put 542 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 1: that on us. Listen to you. Guys inspired me with 543 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: all kinds of hilarious scenarios and skits. Well, now you're 544 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:22,440 Speaker 1: setting yourself up for disappointment. I'll be sending them in periodically. 545 00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,720 Speaker 1: My first idea is a group of awkward and immature 546 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:30,360 Speaker 1: middle schoolers. So our bodies with a group of elias 547 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:34,040 Speaker 1: CEOs at large companies, let the alchemy and sue. Now, 548 00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:37,160 Speaker 1: with this crystal, we'll be able to transmute any soul 549 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,600 Speaker 1: into anybody anywhere. I want to be young again. I'm 550 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 1: just I feel like I just want to be back 551 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 1: when everything was easy, when I was in middle school. 552 00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:50,680 Speaker 1: I hate this corporate life. That's one I need a 553 00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:58,480 Speaker 1: small child to transmut to though. But that's that's middle. No, 554 00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:01,520 Speaker 1: that's is that middle? Is that middle? It'll do for 555 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:07,240 Speaker 1: me if if I'm actually more twelve eleven You said eleven, 556 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,360 Speaker 1: but I'm eleven and three quarters. So that's basically well, 557 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:12,560 Speaker 1: and you know what i'd like? Do I get to 558 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,320 Speaker 1: make a which the crystal tonners? I guess what I 559 00:33:15,320 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 1: would like is like, um to just be you know. 560 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:21,400 Speaker 1: I want a cool apartment and a car and the 561 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 1: driver's glasses. Well, I have a family. I have a family, 562 00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 1: and I love that because I don't have a family. 563 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,440 Speaker 1: I have a family. You don't have a family. Can 564 00:33:29,480 --> 00:33:31,040 Speaker 1: we get a different kid to switch by? I don't 565 00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:32,800 Speaker 1: have a family, and I sort of live in this 566 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 1: group situations and it's not great, So I'd love but 567 00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 1: he said it sounds great. Look I'm a wizard, alright, 568 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:40,120 Speaker 1: and now I actually wanted to streamline this. I'm going 569 00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,240 Speaker 1: to get two different people, all right, please don't wait 570 00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:46,360 Speaker 1: wait wait wait wait all right, look you promised to 571 00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:49,280 Speaker 1: just to take on each other. Huh, regardless of all 572 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:51,400 Speaker 1: the other things you might want it might not do. 573 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,720 Speaker 1: I need to switch keys now and like because this 574 00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 1: mean I'm gonna be a guy. Yes, thank you all 575 00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:00,400 Speaker 1: very much for gathering wizard car Michael, if you could 576 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:04,000 Speaker 1: explain to us please from the beginning your idea of 577 00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,320 Speaker 1: this body swap. Yes. First off, thank you all for 578 00:34:07,360 --> 00:34:13,840 Speaker 1: the wizards for being here. Yes, So my proposal slide 579 00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:18,400 Speaker 1: one is that if we use the yes, it is 580 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,040 Speaker 1: that a young girl you can put child. It's a kid, 581 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,759 Speaker 1: you know, So why not just cast a spell on 582 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,920 Speaker 1: the wall of the vision of right? Why why have 583 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 1: you invested in these slides just so everyone could see. 584 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,760 Speaker 1: I just wanted to everyone have magical powers. I understand 585 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,080 Speaker 1: you could just implant us with the brain memory of 586 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 1: what powers out. Okay, okay, tontyes, I appreciate that. Thank 587 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,719 Speaker 1: you for us jumping in again. Okay, when I'm doing 588 00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:46,600 Speaker 1: my presentation, But did you get all. It was the 589 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:51,440 Speaker 1: cheapest one. It was the cheapest. Okay, that's not just 590 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:57,520 Speaker 1: shaming you remember the campaign. We all remember that campaign. Okay, 591 00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:05,319 Speaker 1: so now it's Bristol change with Tony. It's any Dad's home? 592 00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:10,520 Speaker 1: Hey Dad? Oh heck, yeah Dad? What's up? That was 593 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,279 Speaker 1: a great day at the office? Oh man? He did? Um? 594 00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:16,800 Speaker 1: Can I get my alloans early today? Please? Do you 595 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,399 Speaker 1: hear me as a man? What are you talking about? 596 00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:22,400 Speaker 1: Can I please get my allowance when I say these words? 597 00:35:22,520 --> 00:35:24,840 Speaker 1: Does this sound like a man's voice? That? Yes? Or no? 598 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,960 Speaker 1: You're scaring me dad? Um. Mom says I have to 599 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 1: go out tonight because it's time for it's you two 600 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,319 Speaker 1: are going to try to make me up a little brother. 601 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,880 Speaker 1: I see this body as a man's body. I feel something. 602 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:39,680 Speaker 1: Hey Dad, what's up? Johnny? Get out of my way? 603 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 1: Hello my child? Yeah? Dad's cool. So I guess you 604 00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 1: and pos ups. Uh yeah, we've all got dicks. Can 605 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,640 Speaker 1: you sign my report card please? I got to bring 606 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:58,000 Speaker 1: it back absolutely all right? Cool? Thanks with the name. 607 00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:01,520 Speaker 1: And just to be clear here, Mom gets back from 608 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:06,880 Speaker 1: the Bahamas. Wins in the Bahamas? Yeah, gets back tonight? 609 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,440 Speaker 1: Is it tonight? Yeah? She said that you and I 610 00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,759 Speaker 1: have to leave the house. Cool, Johnny, shoot yourself in 611 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,239 Speaker 1: the face. Dad. When mom gets back, can we talk 612 00:36:14,280 --> 00:36:17,440 Speaker 1: about the car again? Of the car? The car? Of 613 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:19,680 Speaker 1: the car. Who's going to teach me how to drive it? 614 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:24,600 Speaker 1: Why are you acting? Weirds? Do you hear this voice? 615 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:28,399 Speaker 1: All right? Who's got a cigarette? You get a cigarette? Smoke? 616 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:32,440 Speaker 1: Here a cigarette? This is a kids group. Come on, 617 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:36,279 Speaker 1: give me a fucking cigarette. Curse you can't curse Negrette. 618 00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:41,000 Speaker 1: What do you mean? Is this a new game and 619 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:44,279 Speaker 1: the playground? And find the cigarette? I just you know what, 620 00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:47,120 Speaker 1: you guys, don't smoke. I was smoking by the time 621 00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,840 Speaker 1: I've been that. I am now your Agecca. We know 622 00:36:51,960 --> 00:37:00,760 Speaker 1: this is going to get a second I'm a what fuck? Becca? Yeah? Sorry? Sorry, 623 00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 1: you're an orphan, so we cut you a lot of slack. 624 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:08,720 Speaker 1: What an orphan? That's what she? Actually a poorphan because 625 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:12,200 Speaker 1: you're even poorer than most orphans. Like buck this up? 626 00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:15,360 Speaker 1: Where did you get that? Sup? This suit? It was 627 00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:19,800 Speaker 1: it's a nice looking suit. Hi, Rebecca, thank you for 628 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,000 Speaker 1: coming into the office. Well, thank you for having me 629 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,480 Speaker 1: in the office. Did we find me a family yet? Uh? 630 00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:30,440 Speaker 1: You are adopted, Rebecca. You're just whatever good. Are you 631 00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:33,120 Speaker 1: going to smoke those? Yes, that's what I wanted to 632 00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:36,560 Speaker 1: talk to you about. Oh those are mine, No they're not, Rebecca. 633 00:37:37,000 --> 00:37:41,680 Speaker 1: I'll let you finish and then i'll answer after. Hey, Rebecca, 634 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,840 Speaker 1: you it seems that you're been soliciting some narcotics on 635 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:49,320 Speaker 1: the playground. Our cigarettes, narcotics, Yes, they are, Rebecca. And 636 00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,279 Speaker 1: because then we're gonna have to transfer you to the 637 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:55,080 Speaker 1: kid mine. Okay, what the child mine? That's that's not 638 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:58,000 Speaker 1: is that a real thing? It is school property. But 639 00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:06,279 Speaker 1: I'm just h oh, follow the I can't mention for 640 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:11,800 Speaker 1: legal reasons, and just follow them out, all right. And so, Rebecca, 641 00:38:11,840 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 1: I got a distressing call from the school today that 642 00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,040 Speaker 1: you misbehaved and you're going to the child mine for 643 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,360 Speaker 1: for six months. You gotta get me out of this, 644 00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:22,560 Speaker 1: all right. I made a mistake. It was a momentary 645 00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,040 Speaker 1: lapse of reason. Well, no, but you know the rules 646 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:29,120 Speaker 1: of the school, don't you know. I forgot him. We 647 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:32,440 Speaker 1: we go through them every morning before you go in school. Yes, 648 00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:36,319 Speaker 1: you've always been such a good little girl. What happened? Well, 649 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:41,200 Speaker 1: funny story, I'd love to hear it. Well, I found 650 00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:43,160 Speaker 1: a pack of cigarettes on my way to school and 651 00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:47,440 Speaker 1: got addicted. You got addicted just by finding them? I 652 00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:54,439 Speaker 1: got addicted. Okay, open up, Come on, Mr Salinger High, 653 00:38:54,440 --> 00:39:00,439 Speaker 1: I'm with you. I don't know what you're talking about. Head. 654 00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,320 Speaker 1: It sounds like my voice, but no one seeming to 655 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,399 Speaker 1: think that this is weird to them. So I think 656 00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,520 Speaker 1: what I'm hearing and what you're hearing is different. Coming 657 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:11,480 Speaker 1: into my house. Um, I don't need to take too 658 00:39:11,560 --> 00:39:14,280 Speaker 1: many more steps intode the house. I think I'm starting 659 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,520 Speaker 1: to figure out what's going on here now. One of 660 00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,720 Speaker 1: your boys reported that you have been eating um, whipped 661 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,360 Speaker 1: cream and cool whip for all of the meals of 662 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:25,600 Speaker 1: the day. Is that correct? I guess most of them. 663 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:29,160 Speaker 1: That's a grown up. I think that's in my purview 664 00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:33,800 Speaker 1: if I'm using that correctly. You are and toche, but 665 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:39,360 Speaker 1: that's still uh, that's that's you. You're neglecting the child's needs. 666 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,200 Speaker 1: What child? I'm not a child. I'm a man that 667 00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:46,600 Speaker 1: has hair between his butt cheeks. Now, Rebecca, do you 668 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:50,480 Speaker 1: want some more whip cream and cool whip? It's your favorite. 669 00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:58,520 Speaker 1: Don't talk. She's pregnant with my biological child, and if 670 00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:00,640 Speaker 1: you just stress her at this table, God damn you're 671 00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,239 Speaker 1: out in yours again. Oh Bert, Rebecca, you're just as 672 00:40:03,320 --> 00:40:06,080 Speaker 1: much our child as any child. That child, our child, 673 00:40:06,600 --> 00:40:12,200 Speaker 1: you're growing a child. Oh she knows. I mean I didn't. Yeah, 674 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:14,040 Speaker 1: now I know. Let me squired a little more. Whip 675 00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:19,400 Speaker 1: salmon sounds very bad, baby man man, awesome deal. How 676 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 1: the hell do you do that? Three million in one car? 677 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:26,080 Speaker 1: You crazy son of a Bitch's an interesting story, really, yeah, 678 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:32,279 Speaker 1: I didn't know what do so as I going, you 679 00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:40,239 Speaker 1: do it personal? I remember? Oh, oh god, oh it's bad. 680 00:40:40,320 --> 00:41:00,920 Speaker 1: Blow oh feeling feeling, Wigard, Wigard. I know you're in 681 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,520 Speaker 1: there with you. Yes, yes, yes, I want to swap. 682 00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:13,400 Speaker 1: I'm well, I'm Rebecca, but you might yes, yes you too. 683 00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:19,399 Speaker 1: Yes that that project has been scrapped. I'm sorry doing 684 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:20,839 Speaker 1: And when you hear my voice out of the town, 685 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:22,960 Speaker 1: do you want to spend some money or do you 686 00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:26,200 Speaker 1: want to make some money a little bit? Oh my god, 687 00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,040 Speaker 1: this has gone too far. So I started to save this, 688 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:32,360 Speaker 1: but the Wizard Council has they tossed out my proposal. 689 00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,880 Speaker 1: It looks like this project won't be funded. Do you 690 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:40,480 Speaker 1: mind if I short that off of your mustache? That's cocaine? 691 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,319 Speaker 1: It looks like cocaine cut up with ketamine. It's not good. 692 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:47,160 Speaker 1: It's not here. I uh, I'm sorry, but both of 693 00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:51,120 Speaker 1: you are going to be trapped this way forever. I 694 00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,480 Speaker 1: got so many questions. I am how old at this 695 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,640 Speaker 1: time in this body? How long do I get to live? 696 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:58,080 Speaker 1: As long as the body lives? Are as long as 697 00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:03,800 Speaker 1: I live? Doctor told my told two years most Sorry, 698 00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,279 Speaker 1: that was what I was trying terminal. Yeah, I was 699 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:10,759 Speaker 1: trying to find a way out. You passed me off. Yes, 700 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,680 Speaker 1: you know what I do like this body. It's I'll 701 00:42:13,719 --> 00:42:16,640 Speaker 1: get used to be that alone. You can't touch my nipples. 702 00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:29,439 Speaker 1: Was crossing my big dick, big, Mr Salinger. We've heard 703 00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:33,200 Speaker 1: a lot about what you've been doing, running around town, screaming, 704 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,719 Speaker 1: touching your Let me read this your big dick. Sorry interruptors, 705 00:42:37,719 --> 00:42:41,200 Speaker 1: just wants you know. The funeral ceremony for Luke will 706 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:45,279 Speaker 1: be this afternoon. Well you don't need to know. You 707 00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:47,520 Speaker 1: don't need to. Did see the guy that had the 708 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,759 Speaker 1: same diagnosis the thing? No, he's the son you killed. 709 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:54,160 Speaker 1: You killed yoursel and now we're sending you to the 710 00:42:54,239 --> 00:42:58,640 Speaker 1: child's mind. Grow up. You didn't not really grown up, 711 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:03,160 Speaker 1: did you? I to be dead in two months, maybe less. 712 00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:07,560 Speaker 1: It's pretty bad down than the mining well tar nation. 713 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:14,720 Speaker 1: It's so hard mining all the time. I found a ruby. 714 00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:22,520 Speaker 1: Y let me see that. U can say, they're yeah 715 00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:26,799 Speaker 1: a little girl. How long is your sentence? I guess 716 00:43:26,880 --> 00:43:29,520 Speaker 1: it's probably until I've learned my lesson, and I feel 717 00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:32,200 Speaker 1: like I've learned it. Oh yeah, you've been here for 718 00:43:32,400 --> 00:43:35,560 Speaker 1: one day. Yeah it was a long day. Stop touching 719 00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:39,239 Speaker 1: your nipples. Fish coming down, new fish coming down. It's 720 00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:45,839 Speaker 1: a salmon. It's a salmon. This just sucks. You leave 721 00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,640 Speaker 1: my nipples all alone. It's not I'm not I'm gonna 722 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,480 Speaker 1: give me the thing. I'm gonna give me. That pig 723 00:43:56,640 --> 00:44:00,640 Speaker 1: was terminal. Oh. I don't like watching me like that's 724 00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:04,320 Speaker 1: my body. I just plug in. This is so confusing, miners. 725 00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,120 Speaker 1: But I don't even know if you are you hearing 726 00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:09,960 Speaker 1: me as a grown man right now as a child. 727 00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:21,560 Speaker 1: Clearly you're a grown man. That's our show today, Oh 728 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:26,719 Speaker 1: baby child? So yeah? What just wow? I don't know 729 00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:31,759 Speaker 1: where do I why the nipples? Uh? Chris Alvarado, thank 730 00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:33,680 Speaker 1: you so much for being here, buddy, You're welcome. Thanks 731 00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,959 Speaker 1: for having me. I love everybody, and I love my life. 732 00:44:37,080 --> 00:44:39,680 Speaker 1: Where can folks find you on the internet at Chris Varado. 733 00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,120 Speaker 1: That's all you need to know. All right, awesome, but 734 00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:45,799 Speaker 1: thank you as always, Thank you as always, and uh 735 00:44:46,239 --> 00:44:48,880 Speaker 1: anything too. I love everyone. I love my life too, 736 00:44:49,080 --> 00:44:52,120 Speaker 1: fair enough you want to weigh in on all the 737 00:44:52,200 --> 00:44:56,200 Speaker 1: love I love Chris Overaro's life and yeah, follow me 738 00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:00,120 Speaker 1: on Twitter at koski and fair enough. James Heeeney you 739 00:45:00,239 --> 00:45:02,640 Speaker 1: can find me on the real James Heney dot com. 740 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:07,680 Speaker 1: Loving my wife Living and your address again too too. Well, 741 00:45:07,760 --> 00:45:11,640 Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop there. I'll tell you what the first 742 00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:16,799 Speaker 1: two numbers are correct to that that helps Joe Gary. 743 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,280 Speaker 1: You want to fill in the rest of that address, 744 00:45:18,560 --> 00:45:20,960 Speaker 1: you know, just hit me up at jeby Grieber on Instagram. 745 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:23,400 Speaker 1: Damn me, I'll give you that information. Also, bear supply 746 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,520 Speaker 1: every second and fourth Wednesday and night o'clock comedy, Pretty 747 00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,160 Speaker 1: Pretty Pony you first Thursday at ten o'clock at What's 748 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:31,360 Speaker 1: That Comedy Theater? And I mentioned the Altcome give me 749 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:35,120 Speaker 1: this every first Sunday at What's I Come with You 750 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:41,359 Speaker 1: So Comedy? Check the calender. Our producer and engineers, Doug Bane. 751 00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:49,160 Speaker 1: I heart Media. I'm your host. Kevin Pollock Kevin Pollock 752 00:45:49,200 --> 00:45:51,319 Speaker 1: on Twitter. Covin Puck went to three on Instagram because 753 00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:55,920 Speaker 1: I'm an old man. Until next time, don't forget to 754 00:45:56,080 --> 00:46:00,399 Speaker 1: write to us your name here in this calm, I'd 755 00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:01,759 Speaker 1: love to hear from you. I love your mails. I 756 00:46:01,800 --> 00:46:03,800 Speaker 1: go through myself every each and every one of you. 757 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:05,799 Speaker 1: I get back to you, I REPLI as often as 758 00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,080 Speaker 1: I can. So hang in there with us, please and 759 00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:09,879 Speaker 1: thank you all for your support. Until next time