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Speaker 1: About new toilets. Bought new Japanese toilets, and I always

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Speaker 1: thought they were so expensive, like millions of dollars because

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Speaker 1: they look warm. They have a warming feature where there

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Speaker 1: by the way, you could get ones that are reasonable.

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Speaker 1: They're not that expensive. But the point is, you know,

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Speaker 1: I was in my house and like you know, some

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Speaker 1: toilets they flushed differently, they take longer. You gotta hold

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Speaker 1: the thing down. One upstairs in my house rattles unless

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Speaker 1: you like lift the little toilet lever. Like, I just

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Speaker 1: think there's one thing in our lives that we should

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Speaker 1: have trust in. It should be your fucking toilet. Like

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Speaker 1: it's just something that like, don't buy a handbag, get

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Speaker 1: a goddamn new toilet, because toilets, you know, run the

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Speaker 1: gamut in prices. You can get an affordable new toilet.

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Speaker 1: I just think, like, get new goddamn toilets. If you

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Speaker 1: don't have trust in your toilet, you don't have trust

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Speaker 1: in anything. You really don't. Not even trusting your toilet

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Speaker 1: means you're walking around your whole life unsafe, unsound, unsafe

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Speaker 1: people come to your house. Just like, trust your fucking toilet.

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Speaker 1: That's all that I say to you if you only

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Speaker 1: learn one thing. For me, this entire experience of this

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Speaker 1: podcast is make sure you have a good relationship with

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Speaker 1: your toilet, and it's a toilet that you can trust.

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Speaker 1: Feels fair insane. I'm noticing with a lot of these

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Speaker 1: Netflix movies and these crazies, the Tindler, Swindler, the Army Hammer,

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Speaker 1: the Psarma, the Bad Vegan. You know at the end

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Speaker 1: you're dissatisfied because you don't get like the ending, like

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Speaker 1: you don't know, they don't tell you. We don't know Timdler,

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Speaker 1: Swindler got off, Army Hammer, We don't know what's gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: Like we see this all this stuff that's being presented

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Speaker 1: in a way and it's all presented in a way

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Speaker 1: that everything is true and these people were monsters and

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Speaker 1: then at the end it's like, yeah, slap on the wrist.

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Speaker 1: So I find them to be like dissatisfying. I know

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Speaker 1: it's not a movie with a Hollywood happy ending, but like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, can we produce these movies when we

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Speaker 1: have a clear ending? So that's yeah, the Tidler Swindler,

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Speaker 1: So what does that mean he got off? Like did

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Speaker 1: he really? I don't know? I don't know, it's just this.

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Speaker 1: I can't tell you to make a Hollywood ending for

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Speaker 1: a goddamn documentary. I get it. It's just weird. They

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Speaker 1: t you up and obviously there's creativity used in documentaries

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Speaker 1: and creative license, and they tee you up and at

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Speaker 1: the end you're like, it's like a real hand job,

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Speaker 1: like can we finish please. This happened with somebody I

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Speaker 1: don't want to say who was. There was somebody who

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Speaker 1: chimed in on the slap at the Oscars and then

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Speaker 1: they got dragged because they had an interaction with with

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Speaker 1: Will Smith's son. Like, sometimes you chime in on something

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Speaker 1: and by the way, I'm sure this is gonna happen

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Speaker 1: to me. At some point. You chime in and you

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Speaker 1: get caught in the blowback. So like Chelsea Clinton was

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Speaker 1: calling for the release of the photos of Trump getting vaccinated,

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Speaker 1: and then they said they were response tweets about her dad,

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Speaker 1: like let's get the photos of your dad um on

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Speaker 1: Epstein Island or Epstein's plane or something. So sometimes you

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Speaker 1: gotta do an inventory because you could get caught in

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Speaker 1: the backlash, Like if you're gonna go say something and

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Speaker 1: that that was a that was a pretty insane response,

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Speaker 1: Like pretty clever response, but it's one of the things.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think you could possibly predict all

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Speaker 1: the things that someone could say about you. Um, but

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Speaker 1: you gotta tick it through, you gotta pick it through.

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Speaker 1: So this happened to me a couple of weeks ago,

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Speaker 1: with somebody publicly posting an Instagram message that I sent

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Speaker 1: to them, Like, this is happening all the time on Housewives,

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Speaker 1: this is happening with different celebrities like sharing to I'm

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Speaker 1: old school. I'm the person that's still like remembers you

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Speaker 1: took a photo and then you took it when and

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Speaker 1: got it developed. I remember the days when like you

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Speaker 1: weren't like, look how good my ass looks, How look

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Speaker 1: how hot I am? Look how great I am? Like

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Speaker 1: I'm the person that remembers when you text somebody or

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Speaker 1: email someone that's private. I'm not a lawyer, but like,

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Speaker 1: I don't expect that anyone's going to share my text

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Speaker 1: or emails. And I do tell my daughter anything you

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Speaker 1: put in writing will be shared. So whatever you put

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Speaker 1: in writing, you need to know that it will be shared.

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Speaker 1: I scare her because you never know with these kids.

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Speaker 1: But I don't really believe that. I really don't believe that. Like,

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Speaker 1: if I text someone, it's going to be shared. How

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Speaker 1: fucked up is this world? So all the time we

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Speaker 1: see these things in the public, So I bring I

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Speaker 1: bring this up. So Adam Levine's boring garden variety cheating

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Speaker 1: style is the biggest thing anyone's talking about, Like many

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Speaker 1: women are coming out. Okay, who knows, maybe has six wives,

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Speaker 1: Maybe he's Mormon. I don't give a fuck. But the

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Speaker 1: point is people on social media are sharing text that

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Speaker 1: Adam Levine sent to them and back you texted back

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Speaker 1: and forth. That's like, isn't that a private code? What

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Speaker 1: the fund has happened? When don't we allow you to to

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Speaker 1: share people's text? This has become a common practice, Like

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Speaker 1: we're now listening some girls sitting down a dateline NBC

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Speaker 1: or Junko Morning America. This fucking like, hey, this morning

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Speaker 1: on our show. Today we have a total fucking asshole

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Speaker 1: who shared private text publicly, Like where's that story? I'm

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Speaker 1: so confused. You're not allowed to record somebody else. If

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Speaker 1: I'm on the phone with somebody from California, they're not

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Speaker 1: allowed to record this conversation. Okay, and without my knowing,

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Speaker 1: without third part, without consent, they're not allowed to record it.

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Speaker 1: In New York, I'm allowed to record someone else's conversation,

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Speaker 1: but I don't believe the I'm allowed to use it

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Speaker 1: if they don't know that I'm recording. And anyway, that

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Speaker 1: would be the biggest scumbag move to do. Anyway, when

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Speaker 1: did it become okay to just fucking screen grab and

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Speaker 1: share text that people sent you. I am so old school, like,

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Speaker 1: I would never you have no idea. And I literally

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Speaker 1: I have texts from everyone famous as you can imagine.

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Speaker 1: I have personal texts from Ellen from c from Kelly Rippuff,

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Speaker 1: from Ellen Pompeo, from Amy Schumer, from fucking Charles Barkley

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Speaker 1: and Mark Cuban and Dave Portnoy, and I have all

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Speaker 1: these texts. I would never ever share a text ever,

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Speaker 1: Like it's crazy. Actually, yesterday the producer on the phone

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Speaker 1: here said to me, I have a text from a

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Speaker 1: message from Rega because I want to get him on

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Speaker 1: the show. And she said, oh, can you send the text?

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Speaker 1: I said, no fucking way, I would never. I don't

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Speaker 1: care if he said he had a salami sandwich. I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't send it like I don't share text? When is

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Speaker 1: this a thing? When would this? Because I will send

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Speaker 1: my assistant if I texted, mind of my assistance, yes,

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Speaker 1: can I get the green juice that has the you know,

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Speaker 1: lavender syrup and blueberries? And then my other assistant says,

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Speaker 1: I lost that. What could Then I'll send over like yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'd like, I'd like linguini, you know, parmesan like. But

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Speaker 1: I can't even imagine this world we live in now?

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Speaker 1: What a group? If someone ever fucking shares your text,

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Speaker 1: there is scumback. Okay, so I don't know who's doing it.

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Speaker 1: On Housewives, it's happened for a long time, but you're

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Speaker 1: a scumbag. I may retract Housewives. I'm making one addendum.

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Speaker 1: If you're on the Housewives and someone is lying about

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Speaker 1: something because it's happened and people have printed out paper,

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Speaker 1: I know of the Ramona's Princes, someone Carol, someone had

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Speaker 1: like copious notes. If you're on the house I was

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Speaker 1: in and he's asking a question and someone is actually

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Speaker 1: lying about something, that's the caveat, Like if you're if

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Speaker 1: that's something you have to prove, like you have to

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Speaker 1: prove yourself, like in my custody trial. I have shared texts. Okay,

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Speaker 1: there are caveats, so I must say that. But I'm

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Speaker 1: saying coming out and being like, hey, everybody, Adam Levine,

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Speaker 1: Adam Levine is cheating on his w let me share

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Speaker 1: our text together, like where none of that text says

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Speaker 1: please don't fucking text me, and then he continues to

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Speaker 1: text her and it's a textual as salt like that,

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Speaker 1: or you're proving a case, you're proving, you know that

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Speaker 1: something legally illegal happened. If you're proving something illegal happened,

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Speaker 1: then you can share a text. But just thinking that

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Speaker 1: would text somebody and that it's just an unsafe space

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Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense to me, Like does that me?

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Speaker 1: You know, I just can't imagine it, Like I can't

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Speaker 1: imagine it. I can't imagine it. And I think there's

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Speaker 1: a code. And I know the celebrities that I have

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Speaker 1: message on Instagram and back, and I think I know

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Speaker 1: who to trust, like they know to trust me too.

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Speaker 1: They would never fucking share our text ever. The people

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Speaker 1: that I just to even mentioned never. I have Nikki Hilton,

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Speaker 1: we have tax Kathy Hilton would never. She would Kathy

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Speaker 1: and Nicky would send anything to me. They know I

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Speaker 1: would never share because I'm a fucking vault and everyone

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Speaker 1: in this industry knows that that is an absolute fact.

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Speaker 1: Fucking vault. I know everything. Andy Cohen insane text between

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Speaker 1: the two of us back and forth. He would never

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Speaker 1: ever share my text. I would never share his text never.

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Speaker 1: Um anyway, that's just I just thought about that. It's

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Speaker 1: like a common practice. Now, let's just share tell your

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Speaker 1: tax not a share that with everybody. It just feels

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Speaker 1: like there's no code, basic code. So yes, there are

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Speaker 1: caveats when it comes to you know, housewives and legality,

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Speaker 1: but that aside. Fuck that. So I've talked before about people,

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Speaker 1: have you done with this before? What do I say

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Speaker 1: that's gonna make you talk less? If I say I have,

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Speaker 1: if I say, if I say, I haven't, tell me

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Speaker 1: everything and how like big plates are to share, and

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Speaker 1: like appetizers are first, and how things are farm raised

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Speaker 1: and and that kind of stuff. And if I tell

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Speaker 1: you nothing, I'm not going to know anything about what

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Speaker 1: you have or what. So but I always say, yes,

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Speaker 1: I've eaten here, I live here, I'm here every day.

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Speaker 1: I know everything about everything and the menu because I

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Speaker 1: don't want to hear it all right, and I what's

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Speaker 1: your water preference? Wet? But when did servers start telling

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Speaker 1: you every this is this is lamb lettuce, and and

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Speaker 1: and and nice um Parisian radish which has been shaved

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Speaker 1: and massaged and had electrolysis last night. And these are

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Speaker 1: lavender berries which have been poached delicately, made into a

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Speaker 1: nice puree, put through a fine sieve, rubbed delicately on

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Speaker 1: the breast of a salmon filet, and then sent out

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Speaker 1: to a tanning bed to poach to delightful perfection at

189
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Speaker 1: a hundred eighteen degrees Like I, I, that's so long

190
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Speaker 1: what you just said. And I didn't listened to any

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Speaker 1: of it. I just let the fucking food. It was

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Speaker 1: on the menu, do I have to I don't want

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Speaker 1: to listen to twice. I listened to the menu. I've

194
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Speaker 1: read the scroll. It told me there were lavender berries

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Speaker 1: on I read that. Now you're gonna tell these are

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Speaker 1: the lavender berries. I those are the berries. I figure

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Speaker 1: there are berries. I don't want to hear it all.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to know. I don't wanna know. I

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Speaker 1: just don't want to hear it all. I just want

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Speaker 1: to eat the food. I don't want to eat the food.

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Speaker 1: So it has lavender berries on I presumably don't want

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Speaker 1: to eat it because it's a pretentious do she restaurant.

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Speaker 1: But if I I've already got myself this far, I

204
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Speaker 1: don't want to hear about it. Let me live. This

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Speaker 1: is the duck. I'll figure the fucking rest out. I

206
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Speaker 1: told you my allergies. If I have any questions, will

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Speaker 1: go through it in the Q and a period of

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Speaker 1: the meal m