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Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four,

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Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On

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Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our

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Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to Best of Both Worlds.

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Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family,

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Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping

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Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get

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Speaker 1: the most out of life. Hello, and welcome to Best

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Speaker 1: of Both Worlds. This is episode one hundred and thirty

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Speaker 1: eight and it is being recorded during part of Laura's

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Speaker 1: maternity leave, and she suggested that Josh can do it

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Speaker 1: with me. Greetings, Best of Both world Podcast. No, actually, so,

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Speaker 1: the reason that Josh is on the mic is because

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Speaker 1: we're interviewing Jimmy Turner, who is a regional anesthesiologist in

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Speaker 1: North Carolina who's also really in to teaching about financial topics,

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Speaker 1: especially within the medical community, and also kind of dipping

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Speaker 1: his toes into that financial independence world. And he recently

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Speaker 1: wrote a book called The Physician Philosopher's Guide to Finance.

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Speaker 1: And I decided that he and his wife would make

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Speaker 1: really interesting podcast guests, and Josh was excited because he

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Speaker 1: had actually read the book as well. Yeah, I love

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Speaker 1: the book. I thought it was very interesting. Sarah read

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Speaker 1: it and she drops a lot of books on my nightstand,

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Speaker 1: but this one I was reading because we were really

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Speaker 1: thinking about, you know, changing our retirement goals, that kind

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Speaker 1: of thing. And I always sort of assumed that if

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Speaker 1: I worked hard, everything would just work out financially. However,

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Speaker 1: you know, reading that book makes me really realize that

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Speaker 1: if you do that, don't think about it intentionally, you

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Speaker 1: could be leaving a lot of things on the table.

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Speaker 1: So I learned a lot from reading it, and we've

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Speaker 1: made some changes a little definitely. I mean we used

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Speaker 1: to just throw money out the window, like it was

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Speaker 1: just like what now, I'm just kidding. Not really, it

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Speaker 1: was not that bad, but I agree with you. I

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Speaker 1: think at one point we were just under the impression

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Speaker 1: that now, whatever we earn, whatever, we need to spend whatever.

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Speaker 1: And it turns out that if you don't really pay

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Speaker 1: attention to how you're spending your money or your time,

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Speaker 1: then you kind of lose out. And you also don't

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Speaker 1: tend to get that much closer to your retirement goals. Right, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: physicians are famously not, you know, the best at retirement

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Speaker 1: and investing in general. So it was it was a

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Speaker 1: very good service in that book, I thought. And we

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Speaker 1: are definitely not planning on becoming a financially focused podcast,

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Speaker 1: although we've had several episodes recently. I think that I,

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Speaker 1: and to some extent Laura, but especially I, have just

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Speaker 1: sort of realized that it is you know this, This

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Speaker 1: podcast has always been about sort of intention and trying

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Speaker 1: to enjoy your life and making work and life fit together.

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Speaker 1: But I also think it's very important to make sure

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Speaker 1: that your work is something you enjoy and that you're

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Speaker 1: also kind of making the most of. And part of

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Speaker 1: that includes making sure that you're making the most of

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Speaker 1: the income that you are making, so that you're not

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Speaker 1: necessarily dependent on doing work that might not be your

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Speaker 1: ideal in some vague future, even in some theoretical world. Right.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. You lost me a little bit there,

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Speaker 1: but I'm with you in spirit, and thankfully I don't

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Speaker 1: want to work till them, you know, till and barely

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Speaker 1: walk up the stairs to work, you know, I want

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Speaker 1: to anyway, Yeah, pretty much, And we really you know,

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Speaker 1: we've talked about this here. We spend time, We spend

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Speaker 1: significant time on some of our dates planning, and that

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Speaker 1: either relates to planning how we want to spend our

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Speaker 1: time with our kids, and you know, take the vacations

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Speaker 1: we want to take, and make sure that we're doing

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Speaker 1: the logistics of our household the way we really want

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Speaker 1: to be doing them, not just by some default, but

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Speaker 1: also have extended that to making sure that we are

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Speaker 1: doing what we want to intentionally with our finances and

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Speaker 1: spending still and enjoying spending, but not to the detriment

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Speaker 1: of our larger pools. So all right, anything else you

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Speaker 1: have to add. You don't get to be on the

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Speaker 1: podcast very often, so I kind of feel like our

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Speaker 1: listeners deserve an update of some sort. Oh I think

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Speaker 1: I don't know what happened this year. You know, maybe

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Speaker 1: it's the January thing. I go have this back and

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Speaker 1: forth relationship with running, and I've stopped running for about

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Speaker 1: two years when I was injured, and now I'm sort

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Speaker 1: of slightly back into running. Do some sort of work

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Speaker 1: related corporate five K thing that we want Sarah to

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Speaker 1: be a part of. Oh yeah, I know what we

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Speaker 1: need to mention because it actually relates to what you

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Speaker 1: just said about your running, because I think this is

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Speaker 1: where your brain was going. You created monthly goals. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: Oh I wish I could show my planner. You can

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Speaker 1: show your Okay, we can show your planner. My one

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Speaker 1: page and my planner which is my January goals, which

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to get to cross them all off,

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Speaker 1: but I feel good. Actually, just maybe I'm going to

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Speaker 1: migrate them over to the February goals. Do you think

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Speaker 1: I'm going to cross up all of my January govel No,

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Speaker 1: I'm definitely not. But it's okay. The active setting them

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Speaker 1: means you at least knew what you were aiming for

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Speaker 1: and probably helped you a little bit more toward them.

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Speaker 1: And then in February you'll migrate some of them when

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Speaker 1: you get rid of some of them, and you'll reass

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Speaker 1: us and it will be okay, and now we can

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Speaker 1: share our goals with each other. All right, maybe I

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Speaker 1: can this like what not to do? That's my planning podcast.

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Speaker 1: Josh does not want to be on Planner Cast. Okay,

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Speaker 1: never mind. We are going to transition to our guests.

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Speaker 1: Two guests who are fantastic today, so I will just

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Speaker 1: transition to that portion, all right, and I would love

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Speaker 1: I'm very excited to welcome our guests this show this week.

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Speaker 1: This is another interview I'm doing with out Laura, but

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Speaker 1: hopefully they'll bear with me, and I do have a

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Speaker 1: special potential guest appearance for the end of this interview.

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Speaker 1: I have doctor James or Jimmy Turner with me and

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Speaker 1: his wife Kristen. Welcome, guys, Thank you, thanks for having

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Speaker 1: us on. Well, I am very excited to talk to

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Speaker 1: you because I have to say, Jimmy, I read your

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Speaker 1: book about I don't know three months or so, and

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Speaker 1: I promptly shoved it under my husband's desk. I was like,

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Speaker 1: you have to read this too, because I just really

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Speaker 1: enjoyed your balanced approach to some of the you know,

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Speaker 1: financial topics that are all over the place these days

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Speaker 1: with the whole financial independence movement, but also just as

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Speaker 1: a physician who definitely seems to value a lot of

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Speaker 1: the same things that I do, family, but also enjoying

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Speaker 1: your career and enjoying your time together with your kids.

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Speaker 1: So can you tell me a little bit about your

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Speaker 1: background and Kristin you too, because I am like, really

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Speaker 1: really honored to be your very first podcast experience. You

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Speaker 1: can start bad, you know me start all right. So background,

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Speaker 1: I grew up in Florida and then went to college

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Speaker 1: in South Carolina, which is where I met Kristin and

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Speaker 1: I both played soccer there. It's at Erskine College, the

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Speaker 1: school that no one's ever heard of, flying fleet a

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Speaker 1: flying fleet. And then went to medical school, residency and

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Speaker 1: fellowship all at Wake, and so I really didn't have

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Speaker 1: much of an introduction to the financial stuff until really

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Speaker 1: my junior or I guess you say, third year in

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Speaker 1: medical school. Very end of it. I was trying to

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Speaker 1: get term life insurance and got talk to me applying

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Speaker 1: for disability insurance and I have an essential trimmer and

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Speaker 1: take Paprana laws. So I got flat out denied for that,

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Speaker 1: And so I could have gotten a guaranteed issue policy

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Speaker 1: in training, but didn't because the only stipulation there is

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Speaker 1: that you can't have been denied. So I got screwed

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Speaker 1: by an insurance agent when I was a medical student.

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Speaker 1: So had a rough introduction there and started learning about

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Speaker 1: it after fellowship and really diving in and started the

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Speaker 1: website The Physician philosopher and then wrote the book and yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of the short version of that story. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I have a little of interest and finances, but most

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Speaker 1: of I've learned most from Jimmy. I always joked when

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Speaker 1: he was going into medical school that I would keep

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Speaker 1: him around until he was making money. And now that

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Speaker 1: he's making a little money, I'm like, I'll keep you

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Speaker 1: a little bit longer until you're like really valuable, and

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Speaker 1: then I'll figure it out. Oh my goodness. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: was in Columbia, South Carolina. I grew up there and

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Speaker 1: never moved actually until we got married in two thousand

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Speaker 1: and nine. After we graduated college, I became a teacher,

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Speaker 1: he was a medical school and then from there until now,

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Speaker 1: which was gosh, we've been married almost eleven years. That

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Speaker 1: would be extra schooling for me. A couple of different

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Speaker 1: jobs and three kids later. Oh my goodness, how old

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Speaker 1: are your kids now? We have a daughter who is eight,

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Speaker 1: a son who is six, and then what do we

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Speaker 1: call her? Another daughter that's three? Bit she is ooh crazy, Well,

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Speaker 1: no wonder, no wonder. We saw I to eye with

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Speaker 1: you guys, because our kids are like almost the exact

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Speaker 1: same ages you have girl Boy Girl as well. That's

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Speaker 1: exactly what we have. So almost eight, almost six, and

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Speaker 1: we have a two year old, so yeah, completely in sync.

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Speaker 1: We are duke and not wake. So I don't know

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Speaker 1: if we can continue this podcast, but that's yes, depending

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Speaker 1: on the sport exactly acc forever and I'm just kidding. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so no. So I am really fascinated to hear a

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Speaker 1: little bit more about your financial journeys together and just

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Speaker 1: how the career and logistics all fit together, because as

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Speaker 1: you know this podcast, you know a lot of our

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Speaker 1: listenership are We're women trying to fit everything into their

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Speaker 1: lives that they care about their jobs and their families

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Speaker 1: and particularly you know in the medical community and even

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Speaker 1: in the financial independence community, which kind of surprises me,

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Speaker 1: there are a lot of women who make the choice

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Speaker 1: to stay home. So I guess I would love to

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Speaker 1: hear you know how you two came upon your decisions

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Speaker 1: to both stay in the workforce, and yeah, just if

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Speaker 1: that's felt a little bit different, going against the grain

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Speaker 1: at all. Yeah, I was telling so I've listened to

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Speaker 1: several of your podcasts and was trying to articulate to Jimmy,

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Speaker 1: this is what I'm gonna say so. I'm surely it's

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Speaker 1: not going to go by script. But I feel kind

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Speaker 1: of unique in my working journey because I was the

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Speaker 1: breadwinner for us the first several years that he was

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Speaker 1: in medical school on a teaching income, which in North Carolina,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if knew much about that, were one

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Speaker 1: of the lowest paid perfections teachers by state in North Carolina,

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Speaker 1: but I did. My income was what we made when

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Speaker 1: he was in medical school. And then we had our

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Speaker 1: oldest daughter when he was going in his fourth year,

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Speaker 1: and I decided to step away from the classroom, and

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Speaker 1: so I stayed home for a short period of time,

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Speaker 1: and then I slowly added on like about eight hours

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Speaker 1: a week working for this local nonprofit education related company,

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Speaker 1: and then slowly phased into about twenty hours a week

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Speaker 1: part time. By the time we had our second child,

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Speaker 1: You are, what year of residency? Then one of them

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Speaker 1: want to I two here, Yeah, And so so I

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Speaker 1: went purely from stay at home to part time to thinking, gosh,

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Speaker 1: you know, I want to go back and get my masters.

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Speaker 1: This is a good idea to do. When I'm pregnant

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Speaker 1: with our third child, I should do that residency. While

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Speaker 1: he was in residency, but it was online. It was

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Speaker 1: purely online. It was through Queen's University. I'll give them

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Speaker 1: a shout out. It was very doable, but it was

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Speaker 1: a lot and so but I wanted to do that

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Speaker 1: because I felt a little bit helpless in my part

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Speaker 1: time position. I was back in the school system now

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Speaker 1: at that point, pulling kids and doing reading. But like,

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Speaker 1: I really saw the big picture and wanted to help

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Speaker 1: more and support teachers. So I went back with the

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Speaker 1: hopes of getting maybe becoming an administrator one day, and

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Speaker 1: then decided I would just wait for the right opportunity

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Speaker 1: to come around. We're getting a little bit more financially

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Speaker 1: secure at that point, so I knew I had a

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Speaker 1: unique position where I didn't necessarily have to go full time,

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Speaker 1: but I could if I wanted, And Jimmy was super

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Speaker 1: supportive of that. And so I think our youngest was

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Speaker 1: maybe one, and this really unique job opportunity came up

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Speaker 1: where it's full time in the school system, so not

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Speaker 1: just like a teacher schedule, but twelve months, like I

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Speaker 1: worked summer, some holidays and stuff like that, and now

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Speaker 1: I'm a coach for kindergarten and first grade teachers. And

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Speaker 1: I love it. Yes, so kind of a bad Oh

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Speaker 1: that's great. That doesn't sound backwards at all. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I do think it's a pretty unique story. And you

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Speaker 1: found something you love in the education sphere, which can

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Speaker 1: be punted. I mean, that's a really tough field. So no,

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Speaker 1: that's a really cool story. I hear all the time

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Speaker 1: people like I try not to just say, hey, my

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Speaker 1: husband does this, but this week too a different times,

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Speaker 1: teachers like, what does your husband do? I'm like, he

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Speaker 1: works at the hospital. Oh really, what does he do?

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Speaker 1: I'm like, he's analogist. Why you work, girl, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I love what I do. They're like, I love that.

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Speaker 1: I love hearing that. Did you do you too? I

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Speaker 1: mean it's part of obviously you know, yes, you don't

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Speaker 1: quote unquote need to work for you guys to make

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Speaker 1: ends meet at this point. But I also believe and

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Speaker 1: I'm sure that your your job not only does it

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Speaker 1: bring satisfaction, but it probably does still contribute to financial

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Speaker 1: goals in your family. Do you too do a lot

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Speaker 1: of planning together? Like, is there like a meeting of

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Speaker 1: the minds that goes on in the Turner family? Have

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Speaker 1: you always been on the same page with your financial goals.

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Speaker 1: I would say, I don't know that we actually had

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Speaker 1: a lot of financial goals until he started really researching

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Speaker 1: and getting into all of this. And we probably have

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Speaker 1: what you would call do I have a visitor? Sorry,

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Speaker 1: we do, she's not allowed on the mic. We might

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Speaker 1: have one of our visitors pop into and it truly

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Speaker 1: will have the best of both sides. So he did

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Speaker 1: a lot of researching. I started to learn, but I

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Speaker 1: kind of stepped back a little and let him do

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Speaker 1: his thing because he was so passionate about it. But

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Speaker 1: then once he really wrapped his mind around it, we

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Speaker 1: started having are they called money dates? Is that what you?

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Speaker 1: And Ryan colls? That's right? And so we sit and talk,

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Speaker 1: what are some things you want to do? What are

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Speaker 1: things important to us? Do we to pull back on anything?

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Speaker 1: Not necessarily financially, but are there things we're over committed to?

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Speaker 1: What goals do we have and how can we make

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Speaker 1: that happen? And so we started having those talks. And

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Speaker 1: I don't know, you think that's pretty on par Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess the way that I explained to people is

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Speaker 1: that we have lots of conversations about what we want

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Speaker 1: out of life. And so most of our conversations kind

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Speaker 1: of stopped there once we figure out the big picture

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Speaker 1: that we both want for terms of our family, our careers,

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Speaker 1: and all of that. In terms of putting numbers behind

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Speaker 1: those things, Chris and trusts me a lot to do that,

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Speaker 1: but at the same time, really that's the secondary part anyway.

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Speaker 1: So I always have people. I get questions a lot

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Speaker 1: about people that aren't on the same page as their

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Speaker 1: spouse their partner when it comes to finances, and I

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Speaker 1: tell them, if your partner doesn't want to talk about finances,

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Speaker 1: then talking about money is not going to be helpful.

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Speaker 1: So I actually have people who go through what's called

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Speaker 1: the three Kinder Questions, and that really helps you figure

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Speaker 1: out what's super important to you and your family. And you,

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Speaker 1: I think you know what that is until you write

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Speaker 1: it down and go through this exercise, and once you do,

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Speaker 1: you'll figure out that you spend lots of money on

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Speaker 1: things that aren't important. And so once we did that,

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Speaker 1: it was very easy to get on the same page

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Speaker 1: in terms of what we're spending money on, and like

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Speaker 1: the day to day spending habits and that sort of stuff.

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Speaker 1: And I would say that probably the biggest difference between

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Speaker 1: the two of us is that so Kristen nicol and

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Speaker 1: Nicholson dimes us. So she spends money all the time,

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Speaker 1: but it's not a lot of money. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: always on myself, just to be clear, it's usually on

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Speaker 1: the kids. And I'm the opposite. So I don't spend

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Speaker 1: money very often, but when I do, I buy very

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Speaker 1: expensive things like a vehicle or like a tesla, And

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Speaker 1: so we have different spending habits, but they're all, you know,

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Speaker 1: able to accomplish this the goals that we've described for

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Speaker 1: our lives that we want. No, that's so interesting and

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Speaker 1: it's funny because I used to really rep against thinking

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Speaker 1: about money, and to be honest, like I really don't

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Speaker 1: feel like I, you know, woke up in that sphere

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Speaker 1: until maybe I don't know, eighteen months to a year ago,

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Speaker 1: which is crazy because we're a little bit ahead of

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Speaker 1: you in terms of in our career journeys. We're about

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Speaker 1: seven years out instead of three or four like you guys. Well, actually, Kristen,

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Speaker 1: you're much more than four. But I'm talking about post

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Speaker 1: postgraduate from training and you're right, it's like it's not

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Speaker 1: about like it's not about thinking about money. It's more

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Speaker 1: just thinking about, well, actually, what do I want long

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Speaker 1: term out of my life? And how can I make

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Speaker 1: sure that am I using my time to meet those goals?

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Speaker 1: And am I using my money to meet those goals.

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Speaker 1: I was always obsessed with time piece. The money piece

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Speaker 1: is new and finding your stuff has helped me get

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Speaker 1: into that even more. Well, we're going to take a

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Speaker 1: very quick break, and then i'd actually love it if

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Speaker 1: you would remind our listeners of those kinder questions so

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Speaker 1: you'd be right back. Okay, we are back, and I

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Speaker 1: will admit that I heard Jimmy talk about these questions

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Speaker 1: on his podcast very recently, money Meets Medicine, one of

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Speaker 1: my new favorites, and I was like, yeah, these are

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Speaker 1: very good questions, So maybe he can remind everyone listening

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Speaker 1: here what those questions are. Yeah. So the questions go

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Speaker 1: in order, and it's important to do them in order

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Speaker 1: and to stop in between each question. But the first

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Speaker 1: question is, essentially, you just want the lottery. You're not

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Speaker 1: financially independent, meaning you no longer need a paycheck, and

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Speaker 1: given that information, what would your life look like? So

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Speaker 1: what's your ideal life? Is? Essentially what the question is

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Speaker 1: asking money's not a thing, you don't have to worry

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Speaker 1: about that. What would you do tomorrow? Would you go

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Speaker 1: to work, would you not work, would you be on

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Speaker 1: permanent vacation? Where would you go? Just describe what you'd

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Speaker 1: be doing with your time now that money doesn't matter.

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Speaker 1: That's the first question. The second question is that money

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Speaker 1: does matter, so you have to earn a paycheck. It

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Speaker 1: has to come from something. And you have visited the

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Speaker 1: doctor and the doctors told you that you have five

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Speaker 1: to ten years left to live, and she says that

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Speaker 1: you can die on the first day of year five

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Speaker 1: or the last day year ten, but you're going to

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Speaker 1: die knowing that information, how would that change your answer

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Speaker 1: in terms of what you're going to do in the

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Speaker 1: next five to ten years? And again you stop there

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Speaker 1: and you talk about it, you write it down. The

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Speaker 1: third question follows naturally, which is that you go to

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Speaker 1: the doctor and again she tells you you're critically ill.

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Speaker 1: You're going to die tomorrow, so you're not going to

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Speaker 1: be any pain. But looking back on your life, what

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Speaker 1: would you be really glad that you accomplished? What would

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Speaker 1: you really sad that you or regret that you didn't,

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Speaker 1: what legacy would you leave and how does that make

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Speaker 1: you feel facing your mortality? And the purpose of those

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Speaker 1: questions is really to outline what's important to you. And

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Speaker 1: I do this exercise with my medical students in our

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Speaker 1: personal finance curriculums the first talk we gave this year,

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Speaker 1: and it kind of blew their mind, you know, light

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Speaker 1: bulb moment when they realize. Once we look through this

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Speaker 1: list of things like family and travel and you know,

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Speaker 1: spending time with kids, and you know, just things that

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Speaker 1: we don't spend money on. We spend money on houses

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Speaker 1: and cars and consume items. And so I point out

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Speaker 1: the discrepancy between what we spend money on and what

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Speaker 1: we've determined is important to us, and all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: it becomes a little bit easier not to spend money

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Speaker 1: on things that don't matter, which is the first important point, right,

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Speaker 1: because doctors have and actually Americans have a spending problem,

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Speaker 1: so it's helpful for that. And Kristin, did you ever

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Speaker 1: do this exercise with Jimmy? Did you guys ever sit

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Speaker 1: down and do those questions together or do you do

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Speaker 1: you revisit them yearly or something like that? Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: think it's a little more natural than you would think.

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Speaker 1: You probably think he's like has a down at the

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Speaker 1: end of the month and grills me. I do get

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Speaker 1: really annoyed when he asks, what do you want your

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Speaker 1: life to look like in five years? I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I like the way it looks now. I

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Speaker 1: like the job I'm doing. I might want to be

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Speaker 1: a principal. I might not. And I think part of

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Speaker 1: that response for me is I know that we're in

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Speaker 1: a place where if something were to happen at work

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Speaker 1: and it was terrible, I could bow out and be like,

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Speaker 1: I'm good. And a lot of my colleagues don't have

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Speaker 1: that opportunity. So that's partially why I think I'm a

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Speaker 1: little more laid back about it. But I really truly

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Speaker 1: do love what I'm doing, and so I don't feel

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Speaker 1: like I have to make this big list of things

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Speaker 1: now as far as like the kids are getting older

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to miss things like that. We

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Speaker 1: have started to be better about like trips and experiences together.

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Speaker 1: I had like this weird delayed postpartum depression with our

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Speaker 1: third and so I got back into exercising a little.

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Speaker 1: And also around that time, we really noticed that we

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Speaker 1: need to just start pulling back on things we over

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Speaker 1: commit ourselves. Specifically around the holidays. There's like breakfast with

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Speaker 1: Santa here, and then dinner with Santa here, and this

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Speaker 1: holiday party I have to go to, and the childcare

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Speaker 1: and I just like no. So we've kind of used

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Speaker 1: that scaling back and prioritizing things, whether that's money, growth, treath,

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Speaker 1: and just how we operate as in our marriage and

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Speaker 1: with kids. Like we've just tried to have maybe a

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Speaker 1: little bit of perspective. So we will have some talks

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Speaker 1: about it and things like that, but in general, it

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Speaker 1: does feel pretty natural, and we've pretty much been on

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Speaker 1: the same page. I'm like, yeah, let's pay off our loans.

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Speaker 1: That's fine, we'll just wait longer and the kids can

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Speaker 1: share a room. Will be good. So I don't feel

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I think that we to be honest,

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Speaker 1: we never wrote it down. I don't think we've done that. No,

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Speaker 1: not really, which I do encourage everybody to do, so

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Speaker 1: that's kind of ironic. But we've had lots and lots

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Speaker 1: of conversations and car rides or on dates and trying

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Speaker 1: to you know, sort that stuff out. Yeah, car rides

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Speaker 1: amazing for that, like long car rides where you're stuck.

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Speaker 1: It's like, all of a sudden, we were like, wow,

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Speaker 1: we've were forced to be here, so we might as

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Speaker 1: well figure this out. We've done a lot of like

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Speaker 1: vacation planning or financial priorities making no, that's that's awesome,

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Speaker 1: And I don't think you necessarily have to write it down,

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Speaker 1: although I do kind of like writing it down as well.

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Speaker 1: We sit there like with our wine app, like, okay,

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Speaker 1: what did we spend? Are we the savings goals, et cetera.

430
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 1: It's so nerdy, but it actually like really helps and yeah,

431
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 1: it totally works. So logistics. Our listeners are always interested

432
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:59,720
Speaker 1: in that. And it sounds like you neither of you

433
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,159
Speaker 1: have super flexible jobs. Although Jimmy, you're you're now transitioning

434
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: into like part time podcaster. Maybe yes, No, I think

435
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:12,119
Speaker 1: that it's going to gradually change for me. So I

436
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:14,680
Speaker 1: just like Christmas saying, I mean, I call it my

437
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:16,320
Speaker 1: hell yes policy. So I say no to anything that

438
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 1: doesn't make me say hell yes. And so essentially that

439
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 1: means lots of no's at work, but I have said

440
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,159
Speaker 1: yes to something. So I'm becoming the Fellowship Director for

441
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,360
Speaker 1: Regional Anesthesia at WAKE in July. And so I'm continuing

442
00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:28,760
Speaker 1: to do some things at work, but I have started

443
00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:30,879
Speaker 1: to work towards having more time off. So I do

444
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,760
Speaker 1: some weeks of nights to get the post call week,

445
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,800
Speaker 1: and I have paying call weeks. I'd say probably I

446
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,399
Speaker 1: have between twelve and fifteen weeks off every year. And

447
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,280
Speaker 1: then I'm an academic, so I work four days a

448
00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:42,159
Speaker 1: week the other other weeks. But when you're on, like

449
00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:44,639
Speaker 1: it's not flexible, Like if he has to be in

450
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:48,159
Speaker 1: the r by five thirty six, I'm almo, I know,

451
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,960
Speaker 1: you anesthesiologist make the surgeons look lazy. My husband just

452
00:21:51,040 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 1: has to be there about like eight or seven thirty

453
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 1: or so. It depends on the shift. But inory, for

454
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: the most part, you know, his shifts aren't always super predictable.

455
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 1: So sometimes I know when to expect him home, or

456
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,359
Speaker 1: he can tag team and pick up you know, kid

457
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 1: three from the daycare, and I can get kids one

458
00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 1: and two. But when he's off, like post call, he's

459
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 1: like he's on and helpful and more flexible, and it's nice.

460
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,359
Speaker 1: My job is a little more flexible than it's okay,

461
00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,119
Speaker 1: So I'm actually not stationed in an office. I have

462
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:21,560
Speaker 1: eight elementary schools that I support and I go to

463
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,000
Speaker 1: them every week, So I kind of make my schedule

464
00:22:24,040 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 1: based on the needs of maybe meetings I'm having with teachers, observations,

465
00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 1: administrative meetings. I can kind of piece together together my

466
00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:34,840
Speaker 1: schedule and maybe not schedule a late meeting on one

467
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,600
Speaker 1: day because I have to get the kids because he's

468
00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:40,200
Speaker 1: working late or whatever. So for the most part, mine

469
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 1: is a little bit more flexible. I just kind of

470
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,240
Speaker 1: have to get in my hours each day. It can

471
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,960
Speaker 1: look however, that's very interesting and actually something that Laura

472
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,080
Speaker 1: is not on tonight, but she will say that like

473
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,960
Speaker 1: sometimes when you move up in leadership, there's like a

474
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:56,120
Speaker 1: deceptive increase in flexibility that people don't always realize is there.

475
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: And I know I have noticed that in my own

476
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:02,439
Speaker 1: career path. I'm half to now I'm the residency program director,

477
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 1: so same deal. It's like you have to be at

478
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 1: certain things and you have other deadlines, but then at

479
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,000
Speaker 1: the same time you're like a little bit more in charge,

480
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 1: which can be great with kids because you know you

481
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 1: have those times to take them to the doctor or

482
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 1: an early release day or whatever. But you guys rely

483
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,359
Speaker 1: on daycare. You don't have an at home person or anything. No,

484
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,959
Speaker 1: So we our older two are in elementary school and

485
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 1: so they go. The YMCA has a before and after

486
00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: school program at the elementary school, which is beautiful. So

487
00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:31,400
Speaker 1: we can drop them off as early as six thirty,

488
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,920
Speaker 1: which we rarely are there by that early and that awesome.

489
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 1: But and then they can stay as late as six pm,

490
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:40,479
Speaker 1: so if that's ever needed, it's there. Rarely are they

491
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,080
Speaker 1: there before seven am in past five pm, but it's

492
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,639
Speaker 1: nice that they're there. But thirty twenty five thirty minutes

493
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 1: on the other side of town is where our third

494
00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,679
Speaker 1: kid is in daycare. However it is she's in the

495
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 1: daycare that's attached to the hospital that he works at,

496
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 1: so that's really nice. And it's also in Winston Salem,

497
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 1: which is where all my schools are, so it's nice.

498
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,320
Speaker 1: We pretty much divide and conquer on the regular unless

499
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: he is on a shift that he really can't help.

500
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,359
Speaker 1: We can normally at tag Team in the morning and

501
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,720
Speaker 1: taged Teham in the evening and get home and start

502
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 1: dinner and do all that. So, yeah, she's in full

503
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:15,360
Speaker 1: time daycare. That is super helpful with they're really good daycare. Yeah,

504
00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: hospital daycares tend to have them best, I mean most

505
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 1: forgiving hours did. We did the Duke daycare for like

506
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: a year and a half and it was fantastic on

507
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 1: so many levels. Close they don't even know. They opened

508
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 1: at like six am and they never closed. It was amazing.

509
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: That's all great, that's I mean, we've really enjoyed the daycare.

510
00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 1: I had a little of that mom guilty, you know,

511
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:37,800
Speaker 1: because I was at home with them and provided and

512
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,680
Speaker 1: did everything and wipe their noses and made baby food

513
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 1: with the first one and then now pick it up

514
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:48,160
Speaker 1: as chicken, You'll be fine, it's got hair on it.

515
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 1: So there was a little bit of that mom guilt

516
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: for me releasing them to full time care of someone else.

517
00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:57,600
Speaker 1: But it really has been I think I feel more

518
00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,679
Speaker 1: fulfilled professionally, and they're getting to socialize and really do

519
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:03,600
Speaker 1: some cool things that I don't have the energy to

520
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,400
Speaker 1: do circle time, like they send us pictures and stories

521
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 1: and music. I don't have the patience for those crafts

522
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 1: and stuff anymore. I really don't. So I'm so grateful

523
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 1: that they're in places where they can do that and

524
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:16,280
Speaker 1: people love on them. But I'm also able to truly

525
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 1: do what I love and feel gifted in doing so.

526
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 1: And you're a teacher of young children, so you know

527
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 1: that there's like all this effort and training and passion

528
00:25:26,480 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: that goes into many of what these educators do with

529
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 1: these young kids. So it's you know, it's like no guilt,

530
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: no jill, and it's really emotionally taxing. So while I

531
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,119
Speaker 1: do get to like teach children and model and do

532
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 1: stuff like that, a lot of what I'm doing is

533
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:45,320
Speaker 1: supporting the teachers and sometimes I feel like a life

534
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 1: coach or counselor, but just wanting them to know that

535
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,400
Speaker 1: I'm there to help. And so you know that by

536
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:52,200
Speaker 1: the end of the day, like y'all probably are with

537
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:56,800
Speaker 1: your patients, I am emotionally drained. I'm grateful someone else

538
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 1: took care of you and kept you clean today, and

539
00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: we'll go home and figure out and maybe get bath

540
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: night for the second in a row. I like each

541
00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 1: kid we add a day of like, yeah, okay, for

542
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,320
Speaker 1: the first kid, they got bathed every day, the second

543
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:12,800
Speaker 1: kid every other and now we're like, oh, you're like,

544
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,880
Speaker 1: don't throw our kids hygiene under the bus. Well, we're

545
00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:18,200
Speaker 1: in Florida, So we do bath every day. We definitely

546
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 1: don't do hair washing every day. I've moved on the night.

547
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 1: That's just too much. So I totally hear you, and

548
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 1: I think Laura is all about like bathing like once

549
00:26:27,760 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 1: every several days. So there you go. You cut corners

550
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,199
Speaker 1: where it makes sense to cut corners, especially when our

551
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:35,399
Speaker 1: kids haven't like hit puberty yet, so they're fine, you know,

552
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,400
Speaker 1: oh gosh y. So on that note, can you share

553
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 1: a little bit of a day in the left? I'm

554
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 1: sure not every day is the same, and especially when

555
00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 1: you're saying, you know, some days are an intense call

556
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,399
Speaker 1: day for you, Jimmy, and you're like gone the entire day,

557
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 1: and other days you're like podcasting. So I guess that

558
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 1: there's a lot of variation there. But on a very

559
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 1: typical day, can you guys share what a day in

560
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 1: the life would look like? Sure, so I wake up, well,

561
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 1: recently you've woken up early, but I wake up early.

562
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,080
Speaker 1: Why are you laughing? I'm scared about what I didn't

563
00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:05,560
Speaker 1: know I was going to start or you were going

564
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 1: to start. Because we can do your version of the

565
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,280
Speaker 1: day and then we'll do mine. Oh yes, yes, I

566
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: want to hear dual versions of the day. Is this

567
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 1: will be fascinating. So I don't wally wake up around

568
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: four four thirty And depending on the day, say, if

569
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 1: I'm just in Regional, then I would have to be

570
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,240
Speaker 1: there by forty five or six fifteen forty five or

571
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,159
Speaker 1: six o'clock to start blocks for the day, because the

572
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:28,240
Speaker 1: r starts at seven, and so I would on a

573
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,840
Speaker 1: day like that probably not be able to help out

574
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 1: with the kids in the morning. On other shifts that

575
00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: I do, I commonly have to be there at eight,

576
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,159
Speaker 1: and so on those days I would take two of

577
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:39,639
Speaker 1: the kids, or Anna or our youngest to todaycare one

578
00:27:39,720 --> 00:27:42,400
Speaker 1: or the other, and then Chris would do the opposite,

579
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,920
Speaker 1: and then I work till completely depends. Some shifts three PM,

580
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:52,640
Speaker 1: some shifts seven and if I'm off before six, then

581
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 1: I'm usually able to help pick up some of the kids.

582
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: And if I'm not, then then I can't. For the

583
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,920
Speaker 1: off day is I usually pick up and drop off

584
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 1: and try to cook dinner. Sometimes it was a really

585
00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 1: boring rendition of a day. Okay, most days are pretty routine,

586
00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:11,840
Speaker 1: but oh, I want to hear the exciting rendition of

587
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 1: the time your kids are in bed at set. Our

588
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 1: routine starts at seven to go to bed by seven

589
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: thirty so that we have time to ourselves, and then

590
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,239
Speaker 1: we go to bed really really early because we're like

591
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:24,960
Speaker 1: old people. It's like nine at the latest. Both of you.

592
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: You're like actually in sync. Yeah, that's impressing my husband,

593
00:28:28,600 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 1: who has just wandered in here because he's going to

594
00:28:30,359 --> 00:28:33,320
Speaker 1: ask his question. We are not. He just doesn't really

595
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:37,320
Speaker 1: sleep very much, so we're not. That makes us not

596
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:39,800
Speaker 1: in sync. But that's that's awesome that you guys actually

597
00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: are both early risers and early to bed. It doesn't

598
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 1: sound boring. And you even managed to get your kids

599
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 1: in bed to get some time together. That's we got

600
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: to learn some lessons from you. Yeah, I think so.

601
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: I typically, if I'm up trying to get up, I

602
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,560
Speaker 1: like to work out before all of the chaos happens,

603
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 1: because by the end of the day it's not happening.

604
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:00,080
Speaker 1: So if he's taking the kids to school and I

605
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,040
Speaker 1: in the house getting them ready, it's going to look

606
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:04,640
Speaker 1: like the older two being mostly self sufficient and getting

607
00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:07,160
Speaker 1: ready with me yelling up the stairs reminders, did you

608
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 1: brush teeth? Did you do this? This is your ice,

609
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,280
Speaker 1: packing your lunch box, and then I have we have

610
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: our three year old who's probably crying at the kitchen

611
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: table because her peanut butter and jelly sandwich got snatched

612
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: by one of the dogs. That's pretty typical. Hi. And

613
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 1: then once I get them all dressed and shuffled out

614
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:26,480
Speaker 1: the door and drop them off, I like sit in

615
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: the parking lot of my first school and like three

616
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:33,720
Speaker 1: probably scarf down some breakfast, and I'll just go full force.

617
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 1: I go in anywhere from two to four schools in

618
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 1: one day, depending on what I'm doing, kind of on

619
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: the drive back and forth between places. And then I'll

620
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:45,320
Speaker 1: text Jimmy, you know, towards the end of my day, Okay,

621
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,040
Speaker 1: when do you finish? Do I need to get all

622
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:48,320
Speaker 1: of the kids? Are you gonna be able to help

623
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,520
Speaker 1: with some of them? Do you want to go home

624
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: and start dinner and I'll get the kids. That'd be great,

625
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 1: And we actually will do that pretty often. We do

626
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: Hello Fresh, we do. They were actually our sponsor. We

627
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 1: did not not this week, but one point they were

628
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 1: our sponsors, so we did not plant that, but that's cool.

629
00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 1: We do online grocery shop, online grocery shopping and I started,

630
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 1: HelloFresh because he can't really read my mind. If I

631
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,760
Speaker 1: did do the meal planning or wrote down we're going

632
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 1: to have this, like, he didn't know which cookbook to

633
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,280
Speaker 1: look in to do all that. Like, so it's nice

634
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 1: for him to just have the recipe and just cook

635
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,000
Speaker 1: it and then we get home, we'll eat, and we'll

636
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 1: do the whole bedtime routine and then we're exhausted and

637
00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 1: we're done. Yeah, and so the trend kind of continues.

638
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:28,760
Speaker 1: So like with the financial stuff, I deal with the

639
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 1: big picture sort of stuff and Christen's the concrete bill payer,

640
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,560
Speaker 1: and with cooking or you know, planning for meals the

641
00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:36,920
Speaker 1: same way. And the reason why is because I'm not

642
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:38,720
Speaker 1: a detail oriented person. I couldn't do that if I

643
00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: wanted to, even if I was single, that would not happen,

644
00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 1: just because I'm not good at that. And so anything

645
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 1: that is detail oriented or schedule based typically Christen's taking

646
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,200
Speaker 1: care of. I just reminded him we have a date

647
00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 1: night tomorrow. Remember you said you wanted to have one.

648
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 1: So we have a babysitter and her name is this,

649
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: and she's coming at this time. Oh okay, great, Yeah,

650
00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 1: no shared Google plendar for you guys, so we do well,

651
00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 1: you know, you just might not check it. So you

652
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: have to be your like doctor's appointments, and like, he

653
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 1: took one of our kids to the doctor this week,

654
00:31:08,520 --> 00:31:10,880
Speaker 1: so I put like that appointment on, and we'll put

655
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 1: like church group, like we have fellowship group on Sunday evenings,

656
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 1: and major things like that gymnastics night for the kids.

657
00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 1: But if like I just scheduled a babysitter a couple

658
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:21,600
Speaker 1: of nights ago, I didn't put that on the calendar.

659
00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: But a lot of things are. She likes to use

660
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: paper calendars, me too. Wait a second, we have to

661
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,800
Speaker 1: have a little digression. Then what paper calendar you use?

662
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 1: It's a very important question as what I ordered on Amazon.

663
00:31:33,360 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 1: I forgot her name. It's that Mad's actual planner for work.

664
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,520
Speaker 1: So I have a work plan. Oh okay, Like I'm

665
00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: at this school from this time to this time, and

666
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:42,960
Speaker 1: then I have a meeting in our house. I have

667
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 1: a paper calendar on the wall that just has like

668
00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 1: birthdays and stuff, so I can say, Hey, your mom's

669
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 1: birthday is tomorrow. Hey, your mom's birthday is today. You

670
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,360
Speaker 1: need to call her. Did you call your mom today?

671
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 1: Because it's her birthday, and then we have the digital

672
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 1: world one. So I live in the digital world and

673
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,840
Speaker 1: my nickname at work is Dory because I am extremely forgetful.

674
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 1: This isn't like a marriage thing. This is just my personality.

675
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 1: So if you ever meet me in person, just ask

676
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 1: me what your name is. Don't be offended what I forget.

677
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:10,520
Speaker 1: It actually works in my favor all the time, so

678
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: I'm fine with it. That's really funny. I mean, there's

679
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 1: definitely some more common gender lines and we're the same way.

680
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: I mean, as much as I want to book the trend,

681
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 1: I am more the calendar management manager, although Google Calendar

682
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 1: is pretty good, Like if I use it and actually

683
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:27,680
Speaker 1: do it, which I rebel against sometimes because I do

684
00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 1: like my paper. Then Josh usually pays attention. Speaking of Josh,

685
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:34,440
Speaker 1: we have a guest on the mic. Hello, Hey, nice

686
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 1: to meet you all. Good podcasting. Thank you. Yeah it

687
00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: this could be our retirement job maybe. Yeah. So Josh

688
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:50,400
Speaker 1: actually had a question for you because he also read

689
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 1: your book, because I said, I shoved it in front

690
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:53,840
Speaker 1: of his face after I finished it, and he was like, oh,

691
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:57,560
Speaker 1: this is good, thank you very much. I really really

692
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:01,720
Speaker 1: appreciate the book and learned a lot from reading it alsome.

693
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:04,480
Speaker 1: The one thing I was thinking about when I was

694
00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 1: reading the book is I don't really know how to

695
00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 1: phrase it the right way or and I'm sure that

696
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 1: maybe I missed the part in the book, but how

697
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: do you plan for kids and kids college in your

698
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 1: planning to become financially independent early? That's a formula? Is

699
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:28,600
Speaker 1: there a mess? I was thinking, yeah, there's an app No,

700
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,720
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a great question. So I do everything backwards,

701
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 1: and what I mean by that is starting with the

702
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 1: big picture life plan. So the first question you have

703
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 1: to answer their is do you want to pay for

704
00:33:38,320 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 1: your kids college? Right? And the reason I mentioned that

705
00:33:40,680 --> 00:33:42,960
Speaker 1: is because there are lots of people, surprisingly that or

706
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: not surprisingly depending on who you are, that don't plan

707
00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:48,200
Speaker 1: on paying for the kids college at all. So that's

708
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: the first thing. And if you're making the decision between

709
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,000
Speaker 1: paying for your kids college and saving enough to be

710
00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 1: financially independent by the age that you'd like, you should

711
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 1: probably be saving for your financial independence and not for

712
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: your kids college. Like if you have to choose between

713
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: the and the reason why is because no one wants

714
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 1: to take care of their parents and their elderly years

715
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 1: and pay for all that, which is substantially more expensive

716
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: than what college is going to cost. That they can

717
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,120
Speaker 1: take out on loans. You can't take loans out on

718
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 1: your retirement. You can take it out on college. And

719
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 1: so there's you know, kind of an important decision point there.

720
00:34:15,640 --> 00:34:17,640
Speaker 1: But after that you have to figure out how much

721
00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 1: are you going to pay for? Are you going to

722
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,439
Speaker 1: pay for the whole thing? Are you going to pay

723
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,840
Speaker 1: for a certain amount? You know, It's like for our family,

724
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,600
Speaker 1: I fully anticipate and hope that my kids will have

725
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,600
Speaker 1: you know, tuition or something a scholarship of some kind,

726
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,440
Speaker 1: and so I don't plan on paying for necessarily all

727
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,080
Speaker 1: of it. I think that between the three kids will

728
00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 1: probably have one hundred and fifty thousand dollars per kid

729
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 1: right now. Now. If we start saving more, once we

730
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: get the rid of the mortgage and stuff like that,

731
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 1: then it might turn into two or two fifty. And

732
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:46,040
Speaker 1: of course, if one of my three kids don't go

733
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 1: to school, then I can transfer beneficiaries. And now I

734
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: have seven to fifty between two kids. I have three

735
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 1: seventy five per kid, and then wake Forest, so everyone's

736
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 1: situation is different, is what I'm getting out here, but

737
00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:00,439
Speaker 1: Wake Forest, they meeting a faculty member there. They pay

738
00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,000
Speaker 1: for I think ninety five percent of tuition for Wake

739
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 1: and so they're going to be a demon deacon and

740
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 1: they and they'll and they'll cover the cost of a

741
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 1: state school. So if they got into UNC, the would

742
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,000
Speaker 1: it would be paid for and and so for that reason,

743
00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:14,839
Speaker 1: I don't want to cover all of it because it's

744
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,879
Speaker 1: just gonna be additional money. And they're five twenty nine.

745
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,439
Speaker 1: So if they go there, you have to figure out

746
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,759
Speaker 1: how much you want to say for each kid, and

747
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,239
Speaker 1: if you really run the numbers, they get to kind

748
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,000
Speaker 1: of be scary if you like inflate them at current tuition. No,

749
00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 1: we know it's I mean it's like one hundred k

750
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:33,759
Speaker 1: per year per kid. I'm assuming like that's literally like right,

751
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,399
Speaker 1: so yeah, it's like three or four hundred thousand dollars

752
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 1: for one child. And so the idea of you know,

753
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 1: putting away one point two million bucks or nine hundred

754
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 1: thousand dollars for UH for three D education is insane.

755
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,680
Speaker 1: You know, our financial independence number is you know, like

756
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,920
Speaker 1: three million or so, give or take. And I'm not

757
00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:52,719
Speaker 1: gonna sit, you know, put a third of that in

758
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 1: my kid's college education. So all that said, I think

759
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 1: that there are multiple ways to pay for college, right.

760
00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:58,759
Speaker 1: They can earn scholarships, they can you know, be a

761
00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 1: part of your employment. They can work, they can you know,

762
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 1: use the five twenty nine that you have. But I

763
00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:05,840
Speaker 1: don't know that everyone has to cover it. So depends

764
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: on where you sit. So I guess I would start there.

765
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 1: But you mentioned that. I remember you were talking in

766
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: the book about in your state you can choose among

767
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:20,839
Speaker 1: different states where you can Okay, got it, Never mind,

768
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:26,240
Speaker 1: I know more about the financial that's an important distinction.

769
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,279
Speaker 1: So if the what what I say is that there

770
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: are some states that offer a tax benefit if you

771
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 1: participate in the five twenty nine in your state, and

772
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:36,680
Speaker 1: if you have one of those, you should consider doing

773
00:36:36,680 --> 00:36:38,200
Speaker 1: that if they have a good plan, because you're going

774
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,200
Speaker 1: to get a tax break. If you don't have a

775
00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: state like North Carolina that doesn't do that, then you

776
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,279
Speaker 1: can invest anywhere. And so we're invested in my five

777
00:36:46,320 --> 00:36:50,479
Speaker 1: twenty nine planning Utah. I think that's a popular one. Actually, Yeah,

778
00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,920
Speaker 1: they must have like good like lo fees or something

779
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,720
Speaker 1: like that. Yeah, low cost index funds and they're through Vanguard.

780
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:59,120
Speaker 1: Where'd you hear about that? Vanguard? Through Vanguard? Just do

781
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:03,439
Speaker 1: other blog and stuff. Yeah, no, Utah's off there. That's okay. Yeah,

782
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 1: A bout of California and New York are kind of

783
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,400
Speaker 1: the big ones that come up commonly. But the decision

784
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:09,880
Speaker 1: starts at how much you want to pay for. If

785
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,080
Speaker 1: you want to pay for the whole thing, then you

786
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: know you have three kids, so four hundred thousand dollars

787
00:37:14,040 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 1: times three is one point two million bucks? How old

788
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:17,279
Speaker 1: are they? And then you got to figure out how

789
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:18,879
Speaker 1: much you need to save to get there by you're

790
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 1: twenty two, you're not going to go. You can pick

791
00:37:21,280 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 1: your favorite quickly. Sorry, I want to kid? Do you

792
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:30,360
Speaker 1: enough time? You can also change beneficiaries. So, and this

793
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 1: is one of the comments that we made on the

794
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,759
Speaker 1: Money Meets Medicine podcast recently, which is that I don't

795
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 1: my kids may not go to college with the way

796
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: that college tuition is skyrocketing unless the government steps in

797
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 1: or someone steps in and stops the student loan crisis

798
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 1: that's happening right now and allowing basically institutions universities to

799
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 1: go up on tuition by six or eight percent every year,

800
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 1: which is highway robbery. Until that happens, people are going

801
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:55,719
Speaker 1: to start going into online learning or go into trade

802
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: skills like being becoming a beautician or an electrician or

803
00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:02,239
Speaker 1: a plumber, and those jobs, honestly are going to be

804
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,440
Speaker 1: far ahead and make more money in the long haul.

805
00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:07,200
Speaker 1: If they know something about personal finance and they're saving,

806
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 1: they'll do much better than someone who goes and gets

807
00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: a four hundred thousand dollars degree and takes out loans

808
00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:13,000
Speaker 1: on those and then has to go to graduate school

809
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: and takes out another three hundred thousand dollars just to

810
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 1: become a doctor and earn one hundred and fifty like that,

811
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:19,440
Speaker 1: Just that math doesn't work. I said the same thing

812
00:38:19,520 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 1: today in the physician cafeteria and everybody laughed at you.

813
00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know if they're all financing

814
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 1: their tests, So whatever is true? Thing are I really do?

815
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:34,840
Speaker 1: And I think they We're going to see more and

816
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 1: more of that. So I'm not convinced that I have

817
00:38:38,200 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 1: to pay for all three of my kids. Maybe it

818
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 1: might be two of the three, and hopefully we'll have

819
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,840
Speaker 1: some help from other areas well. We do have like

820
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 1: the cheapest in state college tuition. So if our kids

821
00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 1: go to UF then it's like six k per year

822
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: per kids. So I'll take that. What was it called

823
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,120
Speaker 1: the I should know this because I grew up in Florida,

824
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:59,439
Speaker 1: but they have the state program where it's right futures. Yeah,

825
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 1: a lot of people take advantage of that too. Yeah,

826
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: there's a lot of I mean the interesting thing now

827
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: is now I'm seeing it from the again doing my

828
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 1: GM job, and then I'm seeing kids who, like you know,

829
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:10,480
Speaker 1: go to med school and good med schools. And you

830
00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 1: don't have to go to a fancy if you want

831
00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 1: to be a physician. I mean, not that I necessarily

832
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,520
Speaker 1: want my kids to want that. That's a whole other

833
00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 1: podcast episode. But you don't have to necessarily go to

834
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,919
Speaker 1: a quote name brand or private school. There's so many

835
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 1: different ways to get there. And I think, I think

836
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 1: it's tough because you know, and I'm an example of this.

837
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:31,400
Speaker 1: So I got into WAKE and that's the only acceptance

838
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:32,920
Speaker 1: I had at the time, and after I started, I

839
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 1: ended up getting an acceptance at at MSc. But I

840
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,840
Speaker 1: didn't apply to enough schools. I applied to six. I

841
00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:40,080
Speaker 1: didn't realize I should applied it more, didn't get good advice.

842
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,359
Speaker 1: But I was faced with the decision of taking out

843
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: full to it, you know, full room board, tuition and

844
00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 1: everything for medical school or being a doctor, like you know,

845
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,080
Speaker 1: like I. So most people don't know anything about money,

846
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:52,719
Speaker 1: so that's not a financial decision, or they just know

847
00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:54,200
Speaker 1: they want to be a doctor. Sign me up for

848
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 1: five hundred thousand dollars student loans, like that's just a

849
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:58,320
Speaker 1: drop in the buck here, I don't be a doctor someday.

850
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: So I agree with you. I think think that someday,

851
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 1: hopefully personal finance will be taught in high school or

852
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 1: even before that, and people will be considering those decisions

853
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 1: when But I think that a lot of people are

854
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:10,160
Speaker 1: just like I want to be a doctor, I don't

855
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,400
Speaker 1: care how much it costs, and then they get saldered

856
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:15,920
Speaker 1: with a million bucks and all of a sudden they care. Yeah, Well,

857
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:18,120
Speaker 1: it's interesting they're also making those decisions when I'm not

858
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 1: even sure their frontal cortex is like finished than me.

859
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know. Oh my gosh, Well

860
00:40:25,719 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: this has been such a pleasure. But before we finish

861
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,879
Speaker 1: our episode, everyone has to share a love of the week. Hey,

862
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 1: you have to share a level of the week, think

863
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: of one. So wow, I didn't even think of my

864
00:40:37,160 --> 00:40:39,239
Speaker 1: own level of the week yet. So why don't you

865
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 1: guys go first? I have I have one. So we've

866
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:48,319
Speaker 1: been trying to look at food differently. Okay, everyone's like right,

867
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 1: trying to work out and eat better, but for real,

868
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:53,279
Speaker 1: as a family, just making better food choices. And so

869
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: there's a cookbook called Run Fast, Eat Slow. I love

870
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 1: that cookbook. We literally like that's like most frequently used

871
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 1: cocoke in our half. That's awesome and I love it. Like.

872
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:06,040
Speaker 1: I haven't done a lot of dinner recipes from it,

873
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 1: but what has helped is like the breakfast burritos and

874
00:41:09,239 --> 00:41:11,760
Speaker 1: trail mix and snacks, so getting all that stuff ready

875
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 1: for the week, so that when we're packing lunches are

876
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,720
Speaker 1: hungry and are hangry we get home, we're not reaching

877
00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:20,000
Speaker 1: for potato chips or we have good options kind of

878
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 1: everywhere for every meal. So that's that's my favorite thing

879
00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,680
Speaker 1: right now. I actually love that book too, and it's

880
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:29,600
Speaker 1: been a benefit from it. I'm a snacker, so I

881
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 1: don't use it. I don't need big meals, but I

882
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:33,520
Speaker 1: snack all the time. And so now that we have

883
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 1: healthy snacks is much better. But I guess the love

884
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,040
Speaker 1: of the week for me has to be the peloton

885
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:41,720
Speaker 1: that that we bought recently and such a name dropper

886
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,120
Speaker 1: everybody wants to follow me is JT T one seventy

887
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,439
Speaker 1: five and your turbo turner eighty six. I have y'all.

888
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 1: Have y'all been on one? You know? We're both runners.

889
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: We're like not spinners. Maybe tread maybe, but we'll see. Well,

890
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 1: it's super interesting because I wasn't a big spinner either.

891
00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 1: She dragged me to a few classes over the years

892
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: and I hate it. And there are the running you

893
00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 1: can do any type of workout, you can get off

894
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 1: the bike and do strength there, yoga and all kinds

895
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: of different things. We have loved it. We really have

896
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 1: a lot. Both both of those have so that I

897
00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:19,239
Speaker 1: guess that would be my love of the week. Cool. Well,

898
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 1: now that you've inspired me with run fast and slow,

899
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:22,919
Speaker 1: I will share with you my love of the week.

900
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 1: One of my favorite recipes from there that we just

901
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:28,400
Speaker 1: ate last week is the broccoli chevros soup. Now you

902
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 1: might not think your kids would like that, but actually

903
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 1: my kids love that stuff. They will like lock at

904
00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,040
Speaker 1: every bit of it. So you might want to give

905
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 1: it a truck. In that book. Yeah, yes, there was

906
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:43,759
Speaker 1: the pumpkin pancakes. Also the pumpkin Tough pancakes, although we

907
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: never actually make it with the tough, we just make

908
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,160
Speaker 1: it with like holy flower whatever. But yeah, we could

909
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 1: just do a love fest to Shaleine fun again that

910
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 1: cookbook because it's amazing, awesome. Well, thanks so much. This

911
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:59,200
Speaker 1: has been such a pleasure. Maybe we'll meet in the

912
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,239
Speaker 1: medical or financial world someday, who knows, or maybe both

913
00:43:02,239 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 1: of them will collide, but we will. I'm sure our

914
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:07,680
Speaker 1: listeners will get lots out of this. So where can

915
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 1: our listeners find you? Should they want more of you guys,

916
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 1: So they can find me at the Physician Philosopher dot

917
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: com that's the blog that I run, or at Money,

918
00:43:16,520 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 1: Money meets Medicine dot com, which is the money meets

919
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,719
Speaker 1: Medicine podcast that I host with Ryan Inman, who's a

920
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:26,400
Speaker 1: flat feel only financial advisor who's also married to a

921
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:30,560
Speaker 1: pediatric doc. So that's the two best places to find me.

922
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 1: And then where can they find you? I mean, I'm

923
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 1: not really going to give my work email. Yeah, don't

924
00:43:34,719 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 1: say that. I have a family blog that I used

925
00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 1: to be really good about updating. Called you have a Twitter?

926
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: What's your Twitter? I was about to give my blog first,

927
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 1: and then there were three Turners dot blog so cute.

928
00:43:47,719 --> 00:43:50,480
Speaker 1: I'm a couple of months behind. And then my Twitter

929
00:43:51,360 --> 00:44:00,840
Speaker 1: it's like kg wait oh shoot, yeah, it's like Turner

930
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 1: early learner, yep partner. Yeah, oh that's cute early learner. Awesome. Well,

931
00:44:06,280 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: thank you guys so much. Thanks for having us. Thank

932
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:13,240
Speaker 1: you well. That was a great interview. I really enjoyed

933
00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:16,600
Speaker 1: speaking with them and having my husband help out. So

934
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: we're going to transition to our Q and A and

935
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:23,120
Speaker 1: we have Laura back for this. Yayy. So here we go.

936
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: Dear Laura, I will be working at home for my

937
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:29,719
Speaker 1: father's company. This will be my first real job since

938
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:31,759
Speaker 1: having my first child boorn and a half years ago,

939
00:44:32,239 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 1: and which since that time I've been preparing to take

940
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:38,440
Speaker 1: this job, fulfilling licensure requirements, et cetera. I've heard you

941
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:40,880
Speaker 1: and Sarah talk about having in home childcare, which in

942
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 1: my case seems to make logistical sense given the number

943
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: of kids my husband and I have. We plan to

944
00:44:46,560 --> 00:44:48,839
Speaker 1: send our two older ones, who will be three and five,

945
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:51,920
Speaker 1: to a nearby local preschool in kindergarten. In regard to

946
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,920
Speaker 1: the baby and third child, who will be two, we

947
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:56,520
Speaker 1: are thinking about hiring a nanny instead of shuttling half

948
00:44:56,520 --> 00:44:58,640
Speaker 1: the kids in one direction for school and half the

949
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:02,160
Speaker 1: kids in another direction for day care every weekday morning. Also,

950
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:05,040
Speaker 1: considering how frequently kids in daycare tend to get sick,

951
00:45:05,239 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 1: my husband and I would worry less about our kids

952
00:45:07,080 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: falling ill if we had a nanny. All I can

953
00:45:09,680 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 1: see these benefits. I'm wondering about the practicalities of working

954
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 1: from home while she is taking care of one or

955
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 1: more little ones. How do you concentrate? Do you turn

956
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:19,759
Speaker 1: on a white noise machine? Is there a stash of

957
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:21,799
Speaker 1: snacks and beverages in your workspace so you don't have

958
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 1: to go to the kitchen risking the kids seeing you

959
00:45:23,560 --> 00:45:25,360
Speaker 1: and wanting to play with you during the work hours,

960
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 1: or does the nanny bring the baby to you when

961
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,839
Speaker 1: you need to nurse? How do you work while still

962
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:32,800
Speaker 1: nursing a baby? Do you plan to accomplish certain tasks

963
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:36,000
Speaker 1: during nursing sessions. I've found with my previous three babies

964
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,200
Speaker 1: that I can do tests that require one hand while nursing,

965
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:44,040
Speaker 1: but not both. Yeah, it's a unique talent, and it's

966
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,440
Speaker 1: one that people don't really think about. But I have

967
00:45:46,560 --> 00:45:50,440
Speaker 1: divided all work tasks into things I need two hands

968
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:53,320
Speaker 1: for and things I can do with one hand, and

969
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:56,839
Speaker 1: so longer typing things need to be done when I

970
00:45:56,880 --> 00:46:01,720
Speaker 1: have two hands, and you know, simple answering short emails

971
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 1: can be done with one hand or possibly the baby

972
00:46:04,320 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 1: sort of propped up. If I have the pillows quite right,

973
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 1: then I can kind of make it work. But now

974
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 1: I think this is a great question. It was definitely

975
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:15,879
Speaker 1: something that I struggled with, you know, when we had

976
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,000
Speaker 1: our first child many years ago, because we were living

977
00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:21,640
Speaker 1: in a one bedroom apartment in New York and my

978
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:23,839
Speaker 1: husband was definitely saying, well, we should we should hire

979
00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:26,719
Speaker 1: a nanny, you know, based on our kind of needs,

980
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,480
Speaker 1: his travel and sort of the need for more flexible

981
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 1: hours and that you know, kids get sick in daycare

982
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:33,360
Speaker 1: all the time, and that was the real source of

983
00:46:33,480 --> 00:46:36,520
Speaker 1: tension for us. But I was like, where is she

984
00:46:36,600 --> 00:46:38,440
Speaker 1: going to go? Like, I mean, I'm sitting here in

985
00:46:38,440 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 1: our one bedroom apartment like they're going to be on

986
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 1: top of me. So, among other things, we wound up

987
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:44,840
Speaker 1: moving to a two bedroom apartment so that made it

988
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:49,480
Speaker 1: slightly bigger, But then we also realized it doesn't have

989
00:46:49,560 --> 00:46:52,880
Speaker 1: to be quite as big a deal as people often

990
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:56,720
Speaker 1: make it out to be. We've hired people who understand

991
00:46:56,920 --> 00:47:01,000
Speaker 1: that if you are working from home, your job is

992
00:47:01,120 --> 00:47:03,879
Speaker 1: not just to keep the children safe while you're working,

993
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:07,280
Speaker 1: which people might understand as kind of the basic job

994
00:47:07,360 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 1: of childcare, but also to keep them out of your hair,

995
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:13,759
Speaker 1: and so that is a separate part that needs to

996
00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:15,719
Speaker 1: be part of the job description. Basically you need to

997
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:21,439
Speaker 1: be totally transparent about that. And so you know, we've

998
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:26,040
Speaker 1: had generally the at least part of the day, they'll

999
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: go out and do activities. Everyone who's worked here has

1000
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:30,960
Speaker 1: made sure to take the kids out, like we have

1001
00:47:31,040 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 1: memberships to everything, you know, children's museums, zoos, play areas.

1002
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,840
Speaker 1: You know, they go to library for story time, do

1003
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:41,640
Speaker 1: play dates. You know, it's just understood that that's part

1004
00:47:41,719 --> 00:47:45,120
Speaker 1: of the job. You know, it's also what kids get

1005
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:47,359
Speaker 1: used to, like if they know you work from home,

1006
00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:49,800
Speaker 1: then it's not a huge deal. And especially your younger

1007
00:47:49,880 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: kids will grow up with that, meaning that as they're older,

1008
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:57,040
Speaker 1: this won't be a weird thing that mommy's in her

1009
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,359
Speaker 1: office working like they'll come to understand that. Of course,

1010
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 1: you can also sort of minimize the problems with it

1011
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:05,319
Speaker 1: too by yes, staying in your office, Like you have

1012
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:09,920
Speaker 1: to know that you're not going to intervene in things.

1013
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:12,239
Speaker 1: And I know that some people find that difficult, Like

1014
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:17,440
Speaker 1: if you hear your kid arguing or you know, saying

1015
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,719
Speaker 1: something really rude, for instance, you want to come out

1016
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,920
Speaker 1: and be like, you stop that right now. You just

1017
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:25,200
Speaker 1: can't do that because once you cross that line, it's

1018
00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:30,040
Speaker 1: your micromanaging. You're causing problems. So you stay in trust

1019
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:33,239
Speaker 1: that the professional you have hired will deal with it.

1020
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:36,200
Speaker 1: You know, I haven't actually kept a stash of snacks

1021
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:37,960
Speaker 1: in my office, so, come to think about it, that

1022
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:40,720
Speaker 1: is probably a good idea of like listening, is anyone

1023
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 1: in the kitchen, No, no one's in the kitchen. Okay,

1024
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:44,560
Speaker 1: I can sneak out and go get my snacks, but

1025
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,960
Speaker 1: it would probably be better to have them in here.

1026
00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's that's basically how you deal with it.

1027
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 1: And I've found it it's really a good setup when

1028
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 1: you do have a nursing baby because you just don't

1029
00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:00,319
Speaker 1: have to pump as much or anything like that, and

1030
00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:04,439
Speaker 1: that is a huge benefit, as Sarah can tell you, Yeah,

1031
00:49:04,480 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 1: way way more efficient and more pleasant, at least in

1032
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:11,640
Speaker 1: my experience. Yeah, so I love that answer. I will

1033
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 1: just commiserate with a reader that sorry with the listener

1034
00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 1: that probably because I don't have nearly as much practice

1035
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,719
Speaker 1: as Laura has with this. I think it's hard too,

1036
00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 1: So I'm guessing the more it becomes routine and the

1037
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 1: more they're like, oh no, mommy needs to work, like

1038
00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,840
Speaker 1: it's this is not optional time, this is just hard. Stop.

1039
00:49:29,000 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 1: Like I like how you said, like you know, no

1040
00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,480
Speaker 1: exceptions really, because that just makes things confusing. The better

1041
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:36,759
Speaker 1: it's going to go. And for the record, I have

1042
00:49:36,920 --> 00:49:39,920
Speaker 1: hidden upstairs on a different floor on occasion when I

1043
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 1: have been home and I have to get stuffed onne

1044
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:45,399
Speaker 1: or again, I force our nanny to or really highly

1045
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 1: encourage them to go do something fun outside of the

1046
00:49:47,760 --> 00:49:51,200
Speaker 1: home because then they're distracted, they're happy, and they're physically

1047
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:54,480
Speaker 1: not there. All good exactly. One thing I'd add is

1048
00:49:54,520 --> 00:49:56,880
Speaker 1: that you know, with your older children being in school

1049
00:49:56,880 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 1: all day, you probably shouldn't think that you're going to

1050
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: get that much quiet done once they get home, though,

1051
00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,520
Speaker 1: So plan to have the bulk of your calls or

1052
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: focused work happened during the school hours, and you probably

1053
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 1: will be able to do things like answering emails after

1054
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 1: after school hours, but I try to confine the bulk

1055
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:17,799
Speaker 1: of it to the school hours. And given that you

1056
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:20,319
Speaker 1: know elementary kids are gone for about seven hours a day,

1057
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:22,360
Speaker 1: you can generally do that and get away with that

1058
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 1: with a full time job. So this has been a yeah,

1059
00:50:25,239 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 1: best of both worlds. And I know that Sarah did

1060
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:29,640
Speaker 1: the rest of this episode, so maybe she has a

1061
00:50:29,680 --> 00:50:33,680
Speaker 1: little sign off for ah. I don't have any extra

1062
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,680
Speaker 1: special sign up, but we hopefully this one brought you

1063
00:50:36,719 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 1: more on what makes work in life fit together. As always,

1064
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:44,600
Speaker 1: thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the

1065
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 1: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore shoe Box on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: and you can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

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Speaker 1: This has been the best of both Worlds podcasts. Please

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Speaker 1: join us next time for more on making work in

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Speaker 1: life work together.