Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision.
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I
Speaker 2: feel like I can because, bitch, i've been moaning, I've
Speaker 2: been doing some good ship. I'm your girl. Madv Aka
Speaker 2: well cor buks aka did beach?
Speaker 1: What's up, y'all, I'm weezy. Welcome back for another episode.
Speaker 1: Now we're not solo, but we have a man in
Speaker 1: the building. So y'all could either love him r we do.
Speaker 2: He's a poet, he's an author, he's my friend out
Speaker 2: of Philly. We were touring with Tonight's conversations and I'm
Speaker 2: glad to have you shoes at.
Speaker 1: I don't do shoes. Are you joking?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: She must. She didn't know boyfriend. She didn't know about
Speaker 3: the shoes.
Speaker 4: Why would I know about the shoes. I just know
Speaker 4: about the poaching.
Speaker 3: Oh, it's all together. It's a package.
Speaker 1: Let me see the bottom of your socks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, on camera right now?
Speaker 2: Are the bottom of the.
Speaker 1: Stat walking here with shoes?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No, he has shoes.
Speaker 2: You thought you walked in with no shoe typing ship
Speaker 2: you took him off, you thought, oh wait, you thought
Speaker 2: he just walked No shoes.
Speaker 1: My expectations so low of people. I'm so aware. I'd
Speaker 1: be like, listen, wherever slow your boat. You already kind
Speaker 1: of have a hole teppy vibe. You might have been like, yo,
Speaker 1: I can't be that close to the.
Speaker 2: Earth if no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna lie. I
Speaker 2: don't know about hoteppie.
Speaker 1: But it's giving. I don't know.
Speaker 2: We have to come up with that other word. Maybe artsy,
Speaker 2: but not because you're from Philly but you do poetry.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just being funny, like you know, it's
Speaker 1: not like you came here with a danglyar.
Speaker 2: No, like ho teppy to me is nineteen keys that
Speaker 2: for sure. Like hotel, Like I don't think take grand
Speaker 2: minds the hotel when dudes be saying ship to me,
Speaker 2: Like when I.
Speaker 1: Walked in and you said something about your boyfriend, I
Speaker 1: don't really believe in boyfriend whatever you.
Speaker 2: Okay, So wait, you said you don't believe in boyfriend?
Speaker 3: Yes you for me? No, it's not a thing.
Speaker 2: Boyfriends is not a thing. So what is just the.
Speaker 3: Concept of it? I mean I feel like like, like
Speaker 3: do we have to stop here on a way to
Speaker 3: the altar?
Speaker 2: Oh? So you just believe in you love her.
Speaker 3: If you love her, either marry her or Sarah free.
Speaker 4: Oh why do you have to Why can't we test
Speaker 4: the waters first?
Speaker 3: Well, I mean, I mean, why do we have to
Speaker 3: put these relationship handcuffs? Like you know how to swim? Right?
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't have my relationship just like you ain't
Speaker 1: got no ship.
Speaker 3: Well, relationship with our handcuffs is a little boring. In
Speaker 3: my personal opinion, I would say get handcuffs.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I mean, okay, in the bedroom where you're talking about
Speaker 2: just locking somebody down, and even that word I don't like,
Speaker 2: Like I don't like the locking down to somebody.
Speaker 1: I mean, for me, this is what I feel like
Speaker 1: good prim and is mean like when I say no handcuffs,
Speaker 1: like I don't want a relationship to feel like I
Speaker 1: can never do anything again. Like my man just said
Speaker 1: to me a few nights ago. I don't know if
Speaker 1: I said this on Horrible, but we were talking about
Speaker 1: bachelor and butch red parties because I have a friend
Speaker 1: of mine who's getting married, and he was like, I'm
Speaker 1: not having a bachelor party. I'm like why, He's like,
Speaker 1: what am I having some last fucking night of some shit?
Speaker 1: I can't do without telling you. He was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm not in a relationship where I'm like gotta fucking
Speaker 1: ham on my throat, Like I don't need a bachelor party.
Speaker 1: I can live my life with you, So I'm not
Speaker 1: doing that. Year. I was like, damn, dude, because I'm
Speaker 1: having one if you think I'm not about the swat
Speaker 1: away a penis.
Speaker 2: But but I was gonna say bachelorette parties are different
Speaker 2: than bachelor parties.
Speaker 1: But I guess, like when he said that to me,
Speaker 1: he's like, Yo, all of my friends that have talked
Speaker 1: about bachelor parties need to like get this last moment.
Speaker 1: I ain't going to jail. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: So I say that to say, I think when a
Speaker 1: relationship has too many restrictions, that's what keeps people from commitment.
Speaker 1: And so I don't like that commitment has a tie
Speaker 1: to there's nothing else, or I can't have this other
Speaker 1: experience or whatever. So that's why I'm very happy to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship that's like that.
Speaker 2: But but wait, are you you're monogamous though?
Speaker 3: Correct?
Speaker 2: Absolutely, Okay, So I think that that's the difference too,
Speaker 2: Like the the constructor idea that you're locked down and
Speaker 2: can't do anything else. When you have a non traditional,
Speaker 2: non monogamous relationship, all of those like don't press the
Speaker 2: red button, and if you press the red button, it's over.
Speaker 2: Thing goes out the window because you know that you're
Speaker 2: open to just communicate with your partner. A I kind
Speaker 2: of want some of the pussy today. Are we going
Speaker 2: to do it together?
Speaker 1: Now? Do you think?
Speaker 3: Do you think monogamous men are monogamous because they don't
Speaker 3: want it, but they have it.
Speaker 2: I don't think.
Speaker 1: I think most people are monogamous because that makes them
Speaker 1: feel safer soon Like No, I just mean like I
Speaker 1: think monogamy makes you feel like you only want me.
Speaker 1: That means that we're good. If you want someone else,
Speaker 1: you must not love me enough.
Speaker 3: That's a bit mediocre depressing, Like if that was the
Speaker 3: advertisement I read for monogamy, I.
Speaker 1: Wouldnt think about what happens when people get cheated on.
Speaker 3: No, I think, I mean, I guess in my mind,
Speaker 3: monogamy is not the it's not the requirement, it's the decision.
Speaker 3: It's like yo, like, have you ever met a person
Speaker 3: of abundance and you don't need nobody else? Like I'm
Speaker 3: not monogamous because I have to be. It's like what
Speaker 3: else could I need?
Speaker 1: You know, it's the it's the desires. Doesn't don't mean
Speaker 1: that like you don't need anyone else. I have a
Speaker 1: best friend, but I got other friends. I can't.
Speaker 3: I mean, but the connection you have with this non
Speaker 3: familiar human transcends every other relationship, or in my belief
Speaker 3: it does. And that's that's such a like the two
Speaker 3: become one, you know, so now the one of us
Speaker 3: might want to go do something, but like this is
Speaker 3: this is the homie, like this is my heart now.
Speaker 3: I think when people are in these like mids like
Speaker 3: these mid tier, mid depth relationships, then it's like I'm
Speaker 3: in this waiting room. That's like really, it's like damn,
Speaker 3: I can't wait to get back to single because I
Speaker 3: hate it in here.
Speaker 2: I only hate that idea because as a woman who
Speaker 2: doesn't want marriage, yeah I want a partner, I don't
Speaker 2: want it to be viewed as a mid tier limbo
Speaker 2: as relationship only because there's no end goal of marriage.
Speaker 2: And so this idea that you're either single or you're married,
Speaker 2: it leaves out so many of the people that don't
Speaker 2: seek marriage or that piece of paper or to walk
Speaker 2: down the aisle like you know.
Speaker 4: Like we just got three different I know.
Speaker 1: When you were talking, all I thought was, oh, that hurts,
Speaker 1: because I don't feel mid tier just because of other
Speaker 1: sexual desires. So like, for example, if anyone's watched Will
Speaker 1: and Jada talk about each other or Red Table Talk
Speaker 1: or whatever.
Speaker 2: Love them.
Speaker 1: Their love seems like there's no else I could touch it, right,
Speaker 1: that doesn't seem mid tier. They negas right, So I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't I think somebody.
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, but it's not like how you
Speaker 3: just said that.
Speaker 1: Sorry, like they.
Speaker 3: This podcast not too much on Will, because I love
Speaker 3: you so Will.
Speaker 2: In person, baby, I wanted to hop on that thing.
Speaker 2: If Jada was in the room, I would have asked
Speaker 2: her permission. Now that motherfucker got a little to hold
Speaker 2: that palm, because you.
Speaker 1: Know, no, no, no, no, he did. I'm playing y'all laughing.
Speaker 4: He really sat up there during Bad Boys and said,
Speaker 4: do you know what I do?
Speaker 1: Mother?
Speaker 2: No, I ain't even gonna hold you. I haven't been
Speaker 2: in a room with a man with big dick energy
Speaker 2: in a while. The way Will sat up there with
Speaker 2: some big dicken.
Speaker 1: He was like that don't mean I don't love my man.
Speaker 1: I wasn't at the bad boy. You're like, whoa, whoa?
Speaker 2: And I also thinks there is as is a what
Speaker 2: you'll get the.
Speaker 3: I mean I think, I think. I think the more
Speaker 3: we you do more Jesus, Listen, he did honestly. No, no, no, I.
Speaker 1: Mean less of the Sinny's nuts. Listen.
Speaker 3: Well, this world is This world is a beautiful place, right,
Speaker 3: But there's more than just re enforce here. Okay, now
Speaker 3: we can start. We could start dating our demons and
Speaker 3: dancing with him and taking them home and fucking them
Speaker 3: and then calling them cousins and shoot and bail for him.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. I'm not like, how how
Speaker 3: how slippery are we gonna go down this slope? If
Speaker 3: you know what, everything's pretty much on the table. You
Speaker 3: can be dudes, like, you know what, you should want
Speaker 3: to desire another person, Like it's totally normal to desire
Speaker 3: another person while you're so quote unquote madly in love.
Speaker 3: Not only is it okay to desire them, but you
Speaker 3: should also be in a space that's safe enough that
Speaker 3: I can come to you with my feelings and you
Speaker 3: should accept them and let me be happy.
Speaker 2: So I like that. I like everything you said. I
Speaker 2: know you're SI was like you were trying to be sarcastic,
Speaker 2: trying to be sarcastic to me. To me, I hate
Speaker 2: the limits and bounds that we place on ourselves, like
Speaker 2: a we got one life to live now. Yes, I've
Speaker 2: been here before, I know I have in another realm,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be here again. But to me, where I'm at,
Speaker 2: where I know. I went to Mexico. I wanted to
Speaker 2: swim with well sharks. I just did the south of France,
Speaker 2: and I want to try all these different foods cuisines,
Speaker 2: visit the world. I want to do as much as
Speaker 2: humanly possible while I'm here, and I don't want to
Speaker 2: be limited by the bounds of other motherfuckers.
Speaker 3: Of peace in school. But it is not in the
Speaker 3: tent commandments.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: God is not saying don't get an oxygen tank and
Speaker 3: climb up Machu Pichu. He's not saying okay, He's just saying,
Speaker 3: thou shall not still, thou shall not kill you know,
Speaker 3: all the evils shall not cove it. LUs.
Speaker 1: So I'm doing a lot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, phone marriage, we don't we don't fucked up a
Speaker 2: lot of the things they say we should I think.
Speaker 4: So, just to make it clear, I agree with you.
Speaker 1: I I feel like I'm my house and household is
Speaker 1: not this whole willy nilly like it's every day type thing.
Speaker 1: But I do believe in moments, right, yes, and so
Speaker 1: I'm thirty three years old. You look great, thank you.
Speaker 1: Fortunately he already happened. He can't. He's in my life.
Speaker 1: I haven't experienced it all yet.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: There really is not to sound like New York bitch,
Speaker 1: there aren't many moments where I am feeling like I'm
Speaker 1: just craving some of them, Like, that's not it. However,
Speaker 1: what if I just happen to be with my homegirls,
Speaker 1: we take a trip to Paris, right well, just in
Speaker 1: France and there's some really cute French guy that's flirting
Speaker 1: with me on the dance floor or American fun moment. Yes,
Speaker 1: in my life, that just was something that I could do. Yes.
Speaker 1: So many people start to resent their partner because they
Speaker 1: can't enjoy a moment in time, and that to me work, huh,
Speaker 1: I self work.
Speaker 3: I mean, you know, like when you hang around with
Speaker 3: people with mud on their hands, they're going to get
Speaker 3: it on your shirt, so you can't do nothing about it.
Speaker 3: But you should have seen that type of person before
Speaker 3: it got to that thing. Like that's different. Like love
Speaker 3: is patient, love is kind, love is free?
Speaker 1: But why is If love is free, then why is
Speaker 1: it jeopardized? If I just made out with some French kindidance?
Speaker 3: But listen, there's a moment, right, and then it's like okay,
Speaker 3: like there's also decorum, there's also integrity, there's also honored
Speaker 3: But what.
Speaker 1: But how is me having that moment of freedom? And
Speaker 1: I would even just boil it down to well, the
Speaker 1: question fun either jeopardize or invalidate or or make me
Speaker 1: someone who's not loyal anybody?
Speaker 3: If you want me no, kiss them?
Speaker 1: I the word kiss. But even if if it was sex, right,
Speaker 1: why does that take away what I have with this person?
Speaker 4: How does it then tarnish.
Speaker 2: All the cheating is Listening, what I delt with that
Speaker 2: cheating is different.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you why, explain that before. Cheating is a
Speaker 1: very deceitful thing because we made a commitment and a
Speaker 1: promise to each other. Cheating to me is a very
Speaker 1: bottom tier thing. Okay, you're lying, You're you had to
Speaker 1: go out of your way to fucking lie to me
Speaker 1: to figure out how to tell me you fell asleep
Speaker 1: to do all this other ship.
Speaker 2: Now you really it's the lying then, not the cheating
Speaker 2: that is the problem of it.
Speaker 1: Cheating requires a lie, Cheating requires deception.
Speaker 2: Or if you were in France, they kiss this French guy,
Speaker 2: it's only not cheating because you told your partner.
Speaker 1: Do you tell them before or after? Well, I'm not
Speaker 1: talking about these specific rules. I'm just saying in non monogamy, right,
Speaker 1: these things can happen right or whatever relationship you have,
Speaker 1: whatever those rules are, I'm just saying, specific to cheating,
Speaker 1: I understand how that's a moral that's lying to me.
Speaker 1: It's a complete turn off because.
Speaker 3: Even a deeper level, if we don't, if we're not,
Speaker 3: if we're not going to go to black and white,
Speaker 3: like what what in your in your inside could be fulfilled?
Speaker 3: But just the presence of a foreign guy in a
Speaker 3: foreign place, that simple, simple of an occurrence could lead
Speaker 3: to something as passionate, as spiritual as just swapping a
Speaker 3: flesh in any capacity.
Speaker 4: So I don't think that sex is always spiritual with
Speaker 4: other people.
Speaker 1: It is my.
Speaker 2: Part I can't talk about.
Speaker 1: So I have sex. I've had sex with women and
Speaker 1: men that I don't really care about. I don't even
Speaker 1: remember the name I made great chemistry. I did that, However,
Speaker 1: if I want to scratch.
Speaker 3: It, Okay, I haven't always been like that. I always been.
Speaker 1: Why am I the person that isn't healed, isn't forward,
Speaker 1: isn't a good woman? If I do that?
Speaker 3: Well, well no, see this is not judge. Mathis over here, right,
Speaker 3: So don't let my like retort of you know, the
Speaker 3: things that you say be just like the authority, right.
Speaker 3: I just mean, like I only believe and that that's
Speaker 3: sort of love that in composes everything that I desire
Speaker 3: at that present time. And I feel so fulfilled, so intrigued,
Speaker 3: so you know, disinterested in everybody else that I'm really
Speaker 3: like locked in this human And it's not predicated. It's
Speaker 3: not predicated on beauty, it's not predicated on sexual chemistry.
Speaker 3: It's just my attachment. It's like my feeling that this
Speaker 3: person just their presence as value to my life and
Speaker 3: when I get when I get in. And now, some
Speaker 3: of these bubbles with women last six weeks, some of
Speaker 3: them last six months. I had won that last like
Speaker 3: three and a half years. But I have never been
Speaker 3: a cheater because I only I only met with women
Speaker 3: and only agreed to monogamy in my mind because I
Speaker 3: was fulfilled and I didn't want nothing else.
Speaker 2: So I wanted to ask you that question though, because
Speaker 2: you said some can last six days, six weeks, three years, whatever.
Speaker 2: But so are you saying that once you are no
Speaker 2: longer fulfilled, that relationship is out so that you don't
Speaker 2: cheat everybody, thinking that's what I was.
Speaker 1: Feel me so that next.
Speaker 3: Bitch, you know, I take my shoes off so I
Speaker 3: can be comfortable enough to be vulnerable. Okay, I'll be
Speaker 3: grounded myself.
Speaker 1: No, for real, after the six months or even three
Speaker 1: and a half yearn after the three that's a good commitment.
Speaker 1: That's when six months, I feel like there's a lot
Speaker 1: of our average kind of dating. Three and a half years,
Speaker 1: at what point is it something else, someone else, or
Speaker 1: something starts lacking that you didn't see before? Because to me,
Speaker 1: it's like I don't want to get on a high
Speaker 1: horse and say I made this huge commitment to somebody,
Speaker 1: then I'm able to change my.
Speaker 3: Mind, I think. For I think having emotional intelligence right
Speaker 3: lets me know when the woman that I'm dealing with personally,
Speaker 3: don't like me no more. You know what when they
Speaker 3: start sucking a teeth, start complaining, Like when I meet
Speaker 3: a woman, I'm probably so mesmerized by her visually that
Speaker 3: I come up and make some ridiculous sort of thing,
Speaker 3: like you know, my first pickup line was cutting to
Speaker 3: the chase. It's like, how, my name is Mike, I'm
Speaker 3: thirty one years old, I don't have no kids, I'm
Speaker 3: an author, I'm a publisher. Can I take you to dinner?
Speaker 3: And then sometimes I'd be like I got a good
Speaker 3: credit score and no felonies, etc.
Speaker 1: Etc.
Speaker 3: Right, and then it'd be like yes, kind of get
Speaker 3: to the yes, and then from that day every day
Speaker 3: after that, I'm on you, and it's like, you know,
Speaker 3: I guess I was love bombing. My therapist would say
Speaker 3: I was love bombing before love bombing existed. But it's
Speaker 3: only a bomb if it actually explodes and if people die.
Speaker 3: If not, I'm just a hundred from the start, and
Speaker 3: I'm one hundred until a moment, right. I don't like
Speaker 3: to be disappointed. I tell people when I meet them,
Speaker 3: I say I don't. I have problems of forgiveness that
Speaker 3: are deeper than this. You like, I just met you,
Speaker 3: but I've already struggled with forgiveness and I'm working on that.
Speaker 3: So please don't put me in a position where I
Speaker 3: might have to forgive you, because I'm not sure regardless
Speaker 3: of how much fun we have, if when that moment comes,
Speaker 3: I'll be able to do it.
Speaker 1: So you start to switch up, you're saying.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no no. I mean, things will go through,
Speaker 3: something happened, well, things go good, and sometimes it's like,
Speaker 3: you know, it's fun, it's new, it's fresh, it's clean,
Speaker 3: and then after a while, like you know how when
Speaker 3: you live with a person, it's like, damn, it's not
Speaker 3: the nigga I used to just date, right, I mean,
Speaker 3: and then the wax wears off of people, right, myself included.
Speaker 2: But that's with everyone. I think the problem with that
Speaker 2: too is something you just said is I don't like
Speaker 2: to be disappointed by people and.
Speaker 3: Close to me, right, but when the ways just messed
Speaker 3: up my order, that's right.
Speaker 2: But regardless, I think that that's what a lot of
Speaker 2: us do in dating or in finding partnership. We literally
Speaker 2: go into something with these high level of expectations of
Speaker 2: a person and in partnership and and what we want.
Speaker 2: We have all these things and we want them, we
Speaker 2: want all the boxes ticks off, However, wempletely remove the
Speaker 2: fact that this person is human. Nigga's gonna fuck up,
Speaker 2: people are gonna suck up. Not everyone's gonna be I also.
Speaker 1: Think, just to be a little hotepy, but I actually
Speaker 1: think forgiveness is like the foundation anal of being able
Speaker 1: to be loyal. So you're saying, like, don't put me
Speaker 1: in a position to like.
Speaker 3: Now when I say I have to forgive you, it's
Speaker 3: not because when you actually just text you and you
Speaker 3: probably had a conversation on a Wednesday while you were
Speaker 3: at the hairdresser, right when I say forgive me, bro,
Speaker 3: it's like you're doing so.
Speaker 1: But that's the thing though, and I think you see
Speaker 1: this is how much monogamy. Wait, the fact that that
Speaker 1: came out of your mouth for me, I don't even think.
Speaker 1: And maybe because that's not the foundation of the loyalty
Speaker 1: in my relationship. Sure, my shit is like, were you
Speaker 1: not showing up for me? Were you not keeping me focused?
Speaker 1: I've too seen your parents. Were you not keeping up
Speaker 1: with my mama, making sure we're good our family, like,
Speaker 1: this is what was boyfriend here? You got to guess?
Speaker 1: I think I'll say this. My boyfriend has only had
Speaker 1: one girlfriend before me, right, so he really doesn't really
Speaker 1: look at it like I've had a bunch of boyfriends.
Speaker 2: I need to say that if the wind blows anyway,
Speaker 2: you're her boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I realize. Literally, I used to say, boyfriend is someone
Speaker 1: who three months, let's be exclusive, your my boyfriend. I'm
Speaker 1: not in a relationship. It was like, no, we basically exclusive, Like,
Speaker 1: let's just only date each other seriously to see if
Speaker 1: this is it. And now I'm starting to see that
Speaker 1: boyfriend can be deeper than that. And while you're saying,
Speaker 1: do we need a pit stop before marriage? Yeah? Are
Speaker 1: you good at this? Right now? Are you good at
Speaker 1: being my boyfriend? Now? Before I make a lie?
Speaker 3: Since when did meet and other humans become a talent show?
Speaker 1: Oh? What do you mean I mean when I said exclusive?
Speaker 2: No? Are you good at this? He wants to when
Speaker 2: did dating?
Speaker 3: I think as a man, I think as another human
Speaker 3: that encounters you. I'm just supposed to witness your movie.
Speaker 3: You feel me? I think when we interact with each other,
Speaker 3: it's just like flashes of light that that hit each other.
Speaker 3: Like I'm not. I'm not supposed to come here ready
Speaker 3: to serve or audition in all of my tricks. You're
Speaker 3: supposed to watch me and my manhood.
Speaker 2: I was just thinking, you do men not expect women
Speaker 2: to do exactly that, though, But I mean I don't.
Speaker 4: I was before I walked in this door. I'm like,
Speaker 4: I'm showing up too.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I don't mean exchanging service. What I mean
Speaker 3: is like, I don't think I need to demonstrate my
Speaker 3: capabilities to you directly for you to realize if I
Speaker 3: have them or not.
Speaker 1: I do, Yes, yes, yes you do.
Speaker 2: I'm not about that you're going to be a good father, Yeah,
Speaker 2: You're going to be a good partner or yeah No, No, I.
Speaker 1: Need to see it like you though.
Speaker 3: You like the car that I have, the house that
Speaker 3: I have, the job that I have, the relationships with
Speaker 3: my family and my friends in my community that I
Speaker 3: already have could be No, I mean, I just mean,
Speaker 3: like all of these things matter, right, Okay? Where is
Speaker 3: my box spring in relation to my bed? Is it
Speaker 3: on the floor? Does it have like a frame around it?
Speaker 3: Do I have hands hooels and disimpacting? Do I have bleach.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: There are other things to consider.
Speaker 3: But there's a myriad of things to consider. But how
Speaker 3: the way those things do I have to demonstrate? No,
Speaker 3: do I have to demonstrate to your benefit for you
Speaker 3: to prove that I have those capabilities to me?
Speaker 2: To me, here's the thing. The way you show up
Speaker 2: with your family is one way. The way you show
Speaker 2: up at work is another. The way you maintain your
Speaker 2: household is another. However, the way that men show up
Speaker 2: in relationships and how they treat a woman is going
Speaker 2: to be different than how they show up with their
Speaker 2: homeboys and every which way in their lives. A talent show,
Speaker 2: and you know what, it was testing me too.
Speaker 3: So you swallowing before the ring.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm swallowing. I'm looking ass, I'm sucking balls I'm
Speaker 2: doing that's crazy. But let me just say this too.
Speaker 2: When you mentioned like a test before marriage.
Speaker 1: Yes, I've heard one other person to say this besides him,
Speaker 1: but I was kind of feeling like, you know, when
Speaker 1: you're you know, and women, we all go through this.
Speaker 1: Are we together not together yet? And do he need
Speaker 1: to ask me or whatever? Right? And after commitment he said,
Speaker 1: if you thinks to me, like I really needed to
Speaker 1: see all these emotions out of you anger, upset, not
Speaker 1: just you angry? Are anger at me? Yeah? Well, who
Speaker 1: the fuck are you when you're mad? When you're happy, like.
Speaker 2: When you're drunk?
Speaker 1: And I don't think you can figure that out that quick.
Speaker 1: You really got to see phases. I agree, Yes, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, but.
Speaker 3: Do I have to own you during these phases? Or
Speaker 3: can I just witness you wow in these moments? Like
Speaker 3: why does there like a lot of people say when
Speaker 3: I be like Mike, I mean they be like Mike,
Speaker 3: how can I know if he's a husband material if
Speaker 3: he's not my boyfriend? I just mean, like your ownership
Speaker 3: to each other in terms of like your ability to
Speaker 3: freely like interact with other humors. I feel like a
Speaker 3: lot of people are gonna be like you know, in
Speaker 3: their late thirties early forties, and then to start adding
Speaker 3: up their boyfriends now hopefully it.
Speaker 2: Is they had once.
Speaker 1: I'm good, Okay, so not for some people.
Speaker 3: Some people they get to this point right. And I
Speaker 3: started to notice it, Like when I was in my
Speaker 3: mid thirties and I was dating women who were also
Speaker 3: in their mid thirties, but their intentions kind of changed.
Speaker 3: It's like, Mike, I want you to come in and
Speaker 3: I want you to prove to me that your husband
Speaker 3: material because I'm thirty six. I'm thirty seven, I got
Speaker 3: great hair on my kuchi, and I'm ready to settle down.
Speaker 3: My periods ain't coming like how they're supposed to.
Speaker 2: My mom is on.
Speaker 3: Some shit, like cause she's seventy and she don't know
Speaker 3: if she gonna see grandkids. So no, I'm not trying
Speaker 3: to go to turks with you. I'm trying to sit
Speaker 3: down and do like couples counseling. I'm like, I just
Speaker 3: met you four months ago. I don't even know what
Speaker 3: you like in the wintertime because we only you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: Get that out. So to your point, you just said
Speaker 1: something about why can't we mingle a date with other
Speaker 1: people or whatever it's like, But then to put the
Speaker 1: height of as if that was very casual, to put
Speaker 1: the height of loyalty. Then when you're in a committed relationship,
Speaker 1: like no, I think mingling and doing all that stuff
Speaker 1: means you're not focusing and pouring into me, because at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, most we've.
Speaker 3: Ever been to college. Excuse me, have you ever been
Speaker 3: to college?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Have you ever taken more than one semester at a
Speaker 3: time because you have to come home and study math
Speaker 3: and religion and social studies and everything.
Speaker 1: I don't think I class.
Speaker 3: I mean, but what I'm saying is I think the
Speaker 3: human brain is capable of focusing on two things. You
Speaker 3: have a two bubble gum and walk at the same time,
Speaker 3: all of these, all of these attributes and things. A
Speaker 3: lot of times we don't.
Speaker 1: If you're focusing on two things at the same.
Speaker 3: Time, how purposeful can you be?
Speaker 1: How intentional are you being? If you're focusing on those
Speaker 1: things at the same time. I'm not looking at Mandy
Speaker 1: when I'm talking, so if I took my eyes off
Speaker 1: of you, that would mean I'm not that interested or
Speaker 1: serious about a conversation. I'm very intentional when I do things.
Speaker 1: I pour into people when I'm talking to them, speaking
Speaker 1: to them. If my attention diverts, I'm out of it.
Speaker 3: So it's not like both of these girls are sitting
Speaker 3: on my couch at the same time. All I mean
Speaker 3: to say is like, there there are the same way
Speaker 3: a woman can be a mother, a student and an
Speaker 3: employee in a day. Is the same way that I
Speaker 3: could go to lunch with you and have a forty
Speaker 3: five minute phone call with Holo.
Speaker 2: Hold on, I want to get to the Manila ship.
Speaker 2: But you know what this sounds like, Mike, You might
Speaker 2: not be as monogamous as you motherfucking thing because you
Speaker 2: are here one.
Speaker 1: Juggle different you selling is given it. You don't want
Speaker 1: to juggle b I already let me know that you
Speaker 1: had a little home that you is alone after.
Speaker 3: That hotel.
Speaker 2: I want to get into our vanilla, share our vanilliha
Speaker 2: It sex in the news, and we talked about cohabitating,
Speaker 2: living with other people just a little bit. And there
Speaker 2: is a woman on a Reddit thread who is letting
Speaker 2: everyone know that she is divorcing her husband because he
Speaker 2: screws jar lids on two tights. Now, I want to
Speaker 2: get into this just a little bit because within the
Speaker 2: reddit thread people felt as though he was doing it
Speaker 2: in ten and that's the reason why she wants to
Speaker 2: divorce him. But also she feels like, am I the
Speaker 2: asshole because I'm allowing this little minute thing to make
Speaker 2: me want to divorce my husband. So sometimes I literally
Speaker 2: feel insane for being so upset over jarred Lin's It's
Speaker 2: been a recurring cycle over the past five years, and
Speaker 2: it's just the thing that would escalate until a major
Speaker 2: mountdown and freak out, screaming frustration, seemingly craze what happened
Speaker 2: just because I couldn't open a lid. Then it would
Speaker 2: get a little better for a while, then it would
Speaker 2: slowly become an issue again, just getting worse and worse
Speaker 2: until I reached the breaking point, she said five.
Speaker 1: Years, because you know, when that little shit, I feel like.
Speaker 2: It's something else. I feel like it gotta be something else.
Speaker 2: I feel like the dick she's getting on this side
Speaker 2: is something else. Do you think that's what it is?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: So I wanted to ask that in terms of being
Speaker 2: someone for six weeks, six months, three years, or in
Speaker 2: any of your past relationships, has there, at any point
Speaker 2: over time or even in the beginning, been something so
Speaker 2: minute about her and that you're like, I can't be
Speaker 2: with this person because they do this little thing and
Speaker 2: it bothers me.
Speaker 1: So fucking much.
Speaker 2: Like I'm not gonna lie I started dating a guy
Speaker 2: or not dating y'all know, I just be fucking these thinkers.
Speaker 2: But one guy would come over. What I mean, I
Speaker 2: dated the shut up. Anyways, there was one guy that
Speaker 2: would come over and never put the fucking seat down.
Speaker 2: Oh I hate that bitch, I literally, and then I
Speaker 2: had to start talking to him like he was my child.
Speaker 2: First off, this is my house. This is the house
Speaker 2: of a woman. You going to use the bathroom and
Speaker 2: leaving the toilet seat up. One time after we got
Speaker 2: done fucking went to the bathroom and just went to
Speaker 2: sit down on my normal fucking seat and almost fell
Speaker 2: into it. That was the last straw because he didn't
Speaker 2: put the fucking seat down. Now, the dick was good,
Speaker 2: but literally, him not putting the seat down in my
Speaker 2: apartment was like, I ain't fucking with this, Niga nomore, because.
Speaker 4: I already told I really feel like that's no home training.
Speaker 3: Is that?
Speaker 2: Is that what it is?
Speaker 1: Cause that's how the man be chivalrous and lift the
Speaker 1: seat up and keep it.
Speaker 2: Up and keep it up right, Like now I'm judging here.
Speaker 1: I feel like you don't do that. I feel like
Speaker 1: I feel like you look like a man that pussed
Speaker 1: to see you put the seat down after you piss right,
Speaker 1: you're thinking about it, you don't you don't seem like
Speaker 1: a guy that would leave it up in a woman's house.
Speaker 1: You just don't.
Speaker 3: I don't really go over women's houses, Okay, Okay. Two
Speaker 3: thousand and nine, I woke up. I went to a
Speaker 3: women's house. I woke up and one of my good
Speaker 3: friends was at the foot of the bed. I did
Speaker 3: not know it was his baby mom. And I've never
Speaker 3: been back to that.
Speaker 2: Wasn't a good friend. If you ain't know whose baby
Speaker 2: mama was.
Speaker 3: Well no, I mean, but it was a different sort
Speaker 3: of thing, like I don't be checking for you who
Speaker 3: your baby mom is, you know, and niggas hiby baby
Speaker 3: mom talk about that and I am saying and I'm not.
Speaker 3: I'm not. I spent like a hundred days he ever done,
Speaker 3: no story, had the son, he had his son with.
Speaker 3: It was really bad. I seen her in the club.
Speaker 3: I ain't see her in like four or five years, right,
Speaker 3: And I'm like, damn, Like I don't normally go home,
Speaker 3: but I'll go home with you because I've been trying
Speaker 3: to get at you for years now.
Speaker 1: So we go home and how you been trying to
Speaker 1: get her for years?
Speaker 3: Well, like it's the line outside.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 3: So I get to you when I get to you.
Speaker 3: But I finally got to her, and then I was like,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm.
Speaker 1: Is this l A.
Speaker 2: No, this is Philly?
Speaker 1: This is that is Wait?
Speaker 2: Did this happen in l A?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: This was this was Philly?
Speaker 2: And wait he just said, hey, Mike, like, what was
Speaker 2: the interaction.
Speaker 3: With damn bro?
Speaker 2: For real?
Speaker 3: That's crazy?
Speaker 4: Was it because she got some dick last night? Or
Speaker 4: was it because it was yours?
Speaker 1: This is mix?
Speaker 3: And then the kid was there.
Speaker 1: The kid was there, like, wait, the kid and the
Speaker 1: kid was with the baby daddy.
Speaker 3: The kid was with the baby daddy. She was so
Speaker 3: fried that she didn't even remember that young boy was
Speaker 3: coming home the next day or that her baby father
Speaker 3: even had keys. She was just so oh my god,
Speaker 3: my this is and she actually it did happen to la.
Speaker 3: I ain't gonna put that on Philly.
Speaker 1: You saying this? Tell me, I don't remember what show
Speaker 1: he was watching another night? Was some crazy baby mama
Speaker 1: should have it? And I looked at this nigga, you
Speaker 1: would get mad about something my motherfucker can't do. I'm
Speaker 1: looking at him, Yeah, putting the seat shoes. Would motherfucking
Speaker 1: leave me with a baby, bitch, he was like God,
Speaker 1: I was like, I never gonna have this shit happened
Speaker 1: to me. Hell no, only one break. I'm having this medio.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something, baby mama, baby daddy drama.
Speaker 1: I wish it on nobody.
Speaker 3: Yo. This is my last girlfriend September last year. I
Speaker 3: was in love. She was beautiful. I feel like the
Speaker 3: baby father just wasn't going for it. He was one
Speaker 3: of them. Over my dead body. Niggas.
Speaker 4: Oh what's your sign?
Speaker 3: Dollars?
Speaker 2: We're not gonna do that.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: That's why said dollar sign.
Speaker 1: If I if my emotions are striking her, you're if
Speaker 1: you not a pcey email nigga?
Speaker 3: What are you you want to show? I'm gonna show
Speaker 3: you my coach star for ten dollars.
Speaker 4: I don't go to tuck about the other ones. What's
Speaker 4: the main? What's your birthday?
Speaker 3: I'm gonna scorpio?
Speaker 1: Oh your water signed? Okay water?
Speaker 2: Now that's what we're doing. I don't know with at me.
Speaker 1: Scorpios are from what I've heard. Obviously we all know
Speaker 1: their amazing lovers. They also are very thank you. They
Speaker 1: kind of like, well, they could be considered deceitful or
Speaker 1: guarded because they they don't really show.
Speaker 2: Who they are, that's given gem.
Speaker 1: But the water means they pour out so many.
Speaker 2: I'm a river, you know what. I Am not playing
Speaker 2: they go way used to. So I said the toilet
Speaker 2: seate real quick. Is there anything that both of you
Speaker 2: feel like it's so small that you wouldn't continue dating
Speaker 2: somebody if they did?
Speaker 1: I was going to agree with you that one. What's
Speaker 1: yours with women? No, I think it's hygiene, hygiene that
Speaker 1: that's not small.
Speaker 2: That is actually hygiene, that is a part of hygiene.
Speaker 3: See, I'd be like, oh de with it. Like I
Speaker 3: think a lot of my early loves were like super
Speaker 3: super neat, you know, like like they really loved themselves
Speaker 3: and they was when they was young girls.
Speaker 1: So now it's like, damn, bro.
Speaker 2: You think lack of hygiene is a lack of a
Speaker 2: woman's security or love of herself? Yeah, or just or
Speaker 2: just maybe not?
Speaker 4: No, I think I think people that love themselves with
Speaker 4: it depends.
Speaker 3: On the age an age, the age like you know,
Speaker 3: like it's a lot of young girls that don't be showered.
Speaker 3: Like you can see him at a day party, then
Speaker 3: you can see him at the bar around half I
Speaker 3: mean you can't.
Speaker 1: I'm joking for party, where are we going?
Speaker 3: I ain't a little function out like you got. You
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. I can't see you at two
Speaker 3: pm at the brunch at the same leg as the
Speaker 3: two am Hookah Johnny, and you will twelve hours since.
Speaker 2: First off, I live in New York. Ain't nobody commuting
Speaker 2: from the boroughs back home back to the borough No,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I go Philly.
Speaker 1: I'll say this when it comes to cleanliness and like
Speaker 1: seeing if someone's showered, if they're kept up. I've spent
Speaker 1: time with friends, man, with anybody, and I've kind of
Speaker 1: noticed the showering habits and I don't want to refresh. Okay,
Speaker 1: I noticed that. To me, summertime, outdoor, all day shit,
Speaker 1: that don't count. But I do think that when you
Speaker 1: don't make it a happen. I even notice teeth brushing
Speaker 1: with men or people that are visiting. But I offer
Speaker 1: you a toothbrush and you ain't using it just because
Speaker 1: you stay the night, even homegirls on the couch, I'm like, girl,
Speaker 1: that's right there, you ain't and I have the good
Speaker 1: ship the Marvin's toothpaste.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I don't want to go deep dive on shower, right,
Speaker 3: it's really about the whole aesthetic. It's like, how do
Speaker 3: you lotion regularly? Like what's your morning routine? Does it
Speaker 3: involve a toothbrush and mouthwash? Damn, you got the kills
Speaker 3: for the face. Like that's excellent.
Speaker 1: You know who don't be showering that much? I believe
Speaker 1: it the white one of ours?
Speaker 2: Who's one of ours? The waste speed girls don't do that.
Speaker 2: Don't talk about the wastebeed girls do.
Speaker 1: Not do that. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Youboty, get on the instant where everybody know.
Speaker 1: That's my type of nigga.
Speaker 4: And I like them girls, the waste speed guys.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like the girls and the guys going in
Speaker 1: the hind that they're kind of saying, right, the waste
Speaker 1: speed girls. I don't know if it's because everybody using
Speaker 1: deodamant that isn't necessarily store bought, give it up, get
Speaker 1: the cancer them girl. I go to a little black part.
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. The essentials are not ascension,
Speaker 1: those oils ain't doing it, and some of them been
Speaker 1: a little funky. I think we need to go with
Speaker 1: the girl who's slabbing it off.
Speaker 2: Do you also think maybe it's they're hairy and like
Speaker 2: they don't shave in the same places like the under
Speaker 2: arms be under They may.
Speaker 1: Be too listen to this podcast, but one of you
Speaker 1: bit just in here. No, no, no, because we've had
Speaker 1: some people be like, oh, like you guys talk about
Speaker 1: girl shall put that ship on La Merk Park in
Speaker 1: l a ship bro just buy the shade, butter, don't
Speaker 1: buy the deodor. And he's a liar.
Speaker 3: Please get the aluminum.
Speaker 1: How do you want to live with you? Stop it?
Speaker 1: No bullshit, bullshit.
Speaker 2: The hotel niggas wiping them bitches.
Speaker 1: Up and they like it. I don't lie.
Speaker 2: They aren't funky. It's given a flight.
Speaker 1: The cleanest w HOTEP that I know personally, it's probably Wolf.
Speaker 1: Wolf works at w TFBDI Students New York and Mandy
Speaker 1: and I work with him too. I ain't never smelled him. However,
Speaker 1: the way he be talking seems like he don't seem.
Speaker 2: Like he don't watch that PC.
Speaker 1: Don't he seem like one of them? He do? You know?
Speaker 3: If my sister called me and told me that her
Speaker 3: husband still puts the jars on tight after five years,
Speaker 3: I would tell her to leave this nigga. Really sorry
Speaker 3: we had to circle back. Well, no, I mean I
Speaker 3: just think. I just think that, like I'm a principal
Speaker 3: sort of guy, Like the action could be like, you know,
Speaker 3: Sharlotte was fucked, but it's the principle behind the action
Speaker 3: that carries up, you know, so for five years.
Speaker 2: I don't care, especially she's expressed it.
Speaker 3: If I've expressed it. It's your inability to change, you know,
Speaker 3: or to listen.
Speaker 2: So I was just I was, well, I.
Speaker 3: Mean people like I hate the word listen because listen
Speaker 3: only involves your ear drums then, and you can't turn
Speaker 3: off your sound, Like I hate when women when you
Speaker 3: argue with a woman and she'd be like did you
Speaker 3: hear me? Like you're not even listening to me? Like
Speaker 3: I wish there was a button guy could create that
Speaker 3: I could just mute circle.
Speaker 2: But then there's comprehension. I was just walking the park
Speaker 2: with my homegirl, and there's conversations right now where we
Speaker 2: think a proposal is coming. So we're literally talking about
Speaker 2: what the ringo look like.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: She don't want nothing gaudy, she said, all diamonds are
Speaker 2: blood diamonds, so she don't want a real like nothing like,
Speaker 2: no real diamond.
Speaker 1: I'm good, but this she won't have been made by
Speaker 1: a ten year old kid. Give me, she said, literally?
Speaker 2: Literally did?
Speaker 1: She said?
Speaker 2: I don't wear silver, saw, I want a gold band,
Speaker 2: something with gold. She said, if he proposes, If he
Speaker 2: proposes and it's not a gold band and it's a
Speaker 2: real diamond, I know that he's doing this for him
Speaker 2: and not for me, and that can't be my husband.
Speaker 2: And I was just like, oh, I guess that's the
Speaker 2: way to start.
Speaker 1: But no disrespect to your homegirl. Yeah, And I have
Speaker 1: a lot of thoughts about this, Okay, I am so
Speaker 1: tired of the stipulations that women put on men with tiny,
Speaker 1: minute things. I'm gonna tell you why. First of all,
Speaker 1: when it comes to engagement rings. Right, I don't know
Speaker 1: if she verbade him said the words I want gold.
Speaker 1: All I wear is gold.
Speaker 2: She said she didn't want white gold. She knows that
Speaker 2: white gold looks silver.
Speaker 1: Right. If a man knows I wear gold, My man
Speaker 1: knows I wear gold, but happened to get me a
Speaker 1: silver ring, right, just for context. Traditionally speaking, most wedding
Speaker 1: bands are white gold or silver. Yes, that man is
Speaker 1: probably in the store super excited talking to the clerk,
Speaker 1: figuring out what would work like. No, not the person
Speaker 1: for you. You know what, this person made a choice
Speaker 1: to do this. You know what changeable. Hold on, bitch,
Speaker 1: I'm triggered. You know what's pissed me off? On flowers? No,
Speaker 1: it's not even flowers clothes.
Speaker 2: The birthday. The birthday fucking party. When I said I
Speaker 2: did not want a birthday party, I said I wanted
Speaker 2: to go to a spot, I did not want friends around.
Speaker 2: I did not want a group of people around. And
Speaker 2: what did he do? Throw me a goddamn surprise party
Speaker 2: with all my friends. And literally I was pissed because
Speaker 2: I literally the one thing I said I didn't want
Speaker 2: you went and did, and he made it about well,
Speaker 2: I've never done this for someone. He made it about him,
Speaker 2: the effort that he put into it, the people he
Speaker 2: had to reach out to, and it was just like,
Speaker 2: fuck me. But that was literally a part of what
Speaker 2: I was saying, like to me in a relationship.
Speaker 1: This is really asshole though.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, but so is somebody who goes
Speaker 3: in and does is not even wise enough to know
Speaker 3: my shorty like goal. So I'm gonna get her the
Speaker 3: gold situation, get me what I want? Like this, this
Speaker 3: whole ceremony of courting to ring to wedding is all
Speaker 3: about her movie. This is her movie, and I don't
Speaker 3: care if I don't care if the only thing that
Speaker 3: she picked out about this thing was the color cut
Speaker 3: and clarity of her ring.
Speaker 2: Wait you should get that, you guys said, all.
Speaker 1: She does is wear a goal. She never verbade them,
Speaker 1: said she wanted to. No, no, no.
Speaker 2: This was a conversation that they've already had, so literally
Speaker 2: we were having the conversation and she was like, bro,
Speaker 2: Like a part of me is like if my ring
Speaker 2: is not gold. After we've had this conversation, I know
Speaker 2: the ring is for you and it's not for me.
Speaker 2: You're not being considerate of what I want. You're not
Speaker 2: listening to the things I want, And are those characteristics
Speaker 2: that I want in a party moving forward? Like that's
Speaker 2: the thing we talked about the as small as just
Speaker 2: screwing the jars on. But to me, in a relationship,
Speaker 2: I would love to know that my partner is considerate
Speaker 2: of the things that would make me upset that I
Speaker 2: don't like that I like that would make me happy
Speaker 2: and knowing that those were things in my last relationship
Speaker 2: that almost seemed intentional. I don't want anyone.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a.
Speaker 2: Relationship with anyone who I feel like, intentionally now is
Speaker 2: playing in my face or wants to hurt me. Those flowers,
Speaker 2: the birthday party, A lot of things I felt like
Speaker 2: were intentional. I don't want to tell I don't want you.
Speaker 1: I guess I don't want you. Gesture it's hard to
Speaker 1: go from Here's the thing with tightening a lid, right,
Speaker 1: you know, it's something that annoys somebody. But nice gestures
Speaker 1: as parties, flowers, rings, those are difficult.
Speaker 4: It's hard to talk about your ex because he's.
Speaker 2: So trash, all these niggas is no no, no, really
Speaker 2: no he is he is, and his fake cancer. But
Speaker 2: oh we're gonna get into it because I just do
Speaker 2: deep for a horrible decision.
Speaker 3: I want.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you thought about you last night
Speaker 1: because this girl was in tears crying about how a
Speaker 1: man lied to her about a sickness, and I was
Speaker 1: I thought I was listening to It's awful, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to bring up another person
Speaker 1: right now, while his whole crime. But like these niggas.
Speaker 1: These niggas is to say that, to say, when nice
Speaker 1: gestures are done and maybe someone didn't do it to
Speaker 1: your liking, there's this thing of like, damn, well, what
Speaker 1: can I do to make you happy? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like the other person can feel like fuck,
Speaker 1: will I never match up more? It could seem so
Speaker 1: minute and selfish. So that's why I kind of bring
Speaker 1: up that other point.
Speaker 2: By the way, I ain't never used the word my
Speaker 2: new as much as we just did in the last
Speaker 2: ten minutes. I don't even use that in my regular thing,
Speaker 2: like my regular cab Blarry minute. Anyway, before we get
Speaker 2: into a horrible decision because I ran into my ex
Speaker 2: and I want to talk about soul ties and soulmates
Speaker 2: and negative energy. I would love for you to give
Speaker 2: a sex tip. This is our horror derve. Do you
Speaker 2: have a sex tip that you can give to our audience?
Speaker 3: Do I have a sex tip?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Two in the pink, all right, I'm not like two
Speaker 2: two in the pink, one in the stink. Oh okay,
Speaker 2: you've never heard them? Yeah, yeah, But I just don't
Speaker 2: know how you would do it. It's like this actually
Speaker 2: is thumb normally, Wait, that's what is it like? Right, Well,
Speaker 2: I could never do that because both my thumbs be long,
Speaker 2: so I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't. I gotta shot my thumb in the butt
Speaker 1: because it just feels like just enough GIRs.
Speaker 2: You know, it's crazy. I never put a thumb in
Speaker 2: the butt. I know, like future said, I'm gonna put
Speaker 2: my thumb and uh, but I don't even think I've
Speaker 2: had a thumb in my butt. If you been niggas
Speaker 2: over the thought I had it. So niggas put thumbs
Speaker 2: in the bus, but I don't be putting.
Speaker 4: They put them on the bus because it's easy with
Speaker 4: the grip.
Speaker 2: Oh and I don't be gripping. Okay, I don't be
Speaker 2: gripping niggas. I put these in the butt. Like even
Speaker 2: it really actually starts with the middle finger. I do
Speaker 2: middle finger in the butt, and then when it's all consensual,
Speaker 2: it is all consensual. But because oftentimes in the air,
Speaker 2: their legs are in the air, I'm right here, so
Speaker 2: legs are in the air, my head is on their dick,
Speaker 2: and now I'm like probably going down below. This is
Speaker 2: the longest finger and so to me, that's the one
Speaker 2: that the middle finger goes in first, and then I
Speaker 2: get that.
Speaker 1: Hold on.
Speaker 3: I'm not lying.
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm telling you, I just hold on. No, no, no, both,
Speaker 1: But I.
Speaker 2: Gotta make it way if we ain't gotten a love nearby.
Speaker 2: So I I wait it up. I waited up, make
Speaker 2: sure that the buddle hole opening, get it in, and
Speaker 2: then I will probably really bring it back out and
Speaker 2: spit on both fingers.
Speaker 1: And they try to fit two figures in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you know do too. Anyway, let's get into
Speaker 2: the horrible decision because I want to share this story
Speaker 2: with y'all because the time came. Uh Vinnie asked you.
Speaker 1: About it when we were in France, and I.
Speaker 2: Like, demons exists with these niggas. So went to the
Speaker 2: layout when I got back from Okac, and as y'all know,
Speaker 2: it has been now May third, twenty twenty three is
Speaker 2: when I broke up with this nigga. So it has
Speaker 2: been now a year and two months. You know why
Speaker 2: I know because we went on Breakfast Club two days later.
Speaker 2: That's the only reason why I know, and I talked
Speaker 2: about that nigga, and when he wrote that email month,
Speaker 2: he was like, you can even go on the breakfast
Speaker 2: club and not talk about me cause you are you
Speaker 2: became color.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe if your goofy ass wasn't out hope.
Speaker 3: The show.
Speaker 2: No, I would never bring anything.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm not gonna lie to you, Andy. I love
Speaker 1: to sit now right.
Speaker 2: I would do a chance, no receipt and I got
Speaker 2: don't do that, oh bitch, and do I thought?
Speaker 1: But I like you hold on.
Speaker 2: So I'm at the layout and every for the listeners,
Speaker 2: new or old, y'all know, this is my first real relationships.
Speaker 2: So we were together for three years and when we
Speaker 2: broke up. Have not seen him since, have not run
Speaker 2: into him, have not been in the same space as him,
Speaker 2: thank god, until the layout. So I'm at the layout.
Speaker 2: Mind you, he has not been there the last two
Speaker 2: years I've gone. So this is not a place at all.
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to see him. So I'm with
Speaker 2: my friends, and because I refuse to use a porter potty,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm gonna go to this little wine bar
Speaker 2: to use their bathroom and get me another beer and
Speaker 2: I'm gonna walk back. So we're walking down the hill
Speaker 2: and we're going to walk around to leave the park.
Speaker 2: My heart is beating now even just sharing it. And
Speaker 2: I'm talking to my homegirl, and I look up and
Speaker 2: I min y'all, I don't even know how to gasp
Speaker 2: in real life, but I gassed so loud and I stopped,
Speaker 2: and I'm literally like this, like whole body freeze PTSD
Speaker 2: like a motherfucking hit me. So I see him and
Speaker 2: I'm with my best friend Crystal, and I go like
Speaker 2: this and I freeze. Once I go, I literally feel
Speaker 2: every vein every muscle in my body, like literally it
Speaker 2: felt like electric shocks. I felt it. Look look at
Speaker 2: me shaking. It reached each fingertip, look each fingertip. I
Speaker 2: felt to go all the way down my legs into
Speaker 2: each toes. And I stood there and I like quickly
Speaker 2: turn around. Immediately I have a fucking panic attack. My
Speaker 2: eyes start watering and I'm like hyperventilating, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, that's him.
Speaker 2: Like even sharing this story right now, the way that
Speaker 2: my body felt, a human being has never made me
Speaker 2: feel this way in my life. This is just off
Speaker 2: the side of him a year later. Mind you y'all know,
Speaker 2: couldn't even be around niggas last year for a long
Speaker 2: part without being triggered, without crying.
Speaker 1: Without being reminded of him. And so I saw him and.
Speaker 2: I go like, we gotta go, we gotta go, we
Speaker 2: gotta go. So I called Antonet and I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 2: I just saw this nigga. She's like, you can go
Speaker 2: if you want. Do you want me to come get you.
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, there, no, he did. It was all psychological.
Speaker 2: He's never he's never laid his hands on me. He cheated,
Speaker 2: but I found out the cheating after the fact, and
Speaker 2: but psychologically it was. We broke up thirteen times, and
Speaker 2: I ended up looking into narcissism. But literally, anytime I
Speaker 2: had something good happening, he broke up. Anytime I questioned
Speaker 2: him about anything, he broke up with me to the
Speaker 2: point where I stopped questioning because I just wanted us
Speaker 2: to be on the high for as long as possible.
Speaker 1: I hope you get the cans.
Speaker 2: Listen me too, bitch. I ain't even gonna hold you
Speaker 2: so so listen.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, we gotta, like, let me tell you something.
Speaker 3: Listen.
Speaker 2: Why did we euthanize dogs and shit, Oh, bitch, I
Speaker 2: will not even euthanized. You know, the nigga eats neutered,
Speaker 2: but neoter to where you topped the and the dick.
Speaker 2: I wanted to walk around like Kendall.
Speaker 3: Can I ask you a question? And this has maybe
Speaker 3: not so much for you, so don't. Okay, take it
Speaker 3: in a personal way, but how how much bill are
Speaker 3: we going to keep giving co stars in these sad movies?
Speaker 2: No? No, no, I don't I don't want the bell. I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna lie.
Speaker 4: Wait, what you're saying, Mandy needs to say no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: And I've taken responsibility. And what I'm saying is seeing
Speaker 2: this man after this long and what yes, mind you
Speaker 2: I've I've went through therapy. I'm very aware that I
Speaker 2: chose to go back all those times. I chose to
Speaker 2: keep wanting to see, which is also weird because from
Speaker 2: a humane point, right, if you go back to taking
Speaker 2: us out of relationships, we're also taught to see the
Speaker 2: good in someone. We're taught to forgive, We're taught to
Speaker 2: believe that someone can be a better virgial thing.
Speaker 1: Right. I won't say that he is. One of my
Speaker 1: good friends is single right now and he has been
Speaker 1: in dumping girls that want more with him. I do
Speaker 1: it all now. I said this to me, man, and
Speaker 1: my man was like, but why doesn't he just like
Speaker 1: reiterated to them like I don't understand, Like now he
Speaker 1: got no holes because he keeps letting them go. I
Speaker 1: was like, Yo, this is the sign to me of
Speaker 1: a really good person. You and we me and him
Speaker 1: had a serious talk about it, me in my homework right,
Speaker 1: and he was like, Yo, I can't take the fucking
Speaker 1: disappointment with these girls anymore. They're let down.
Speaker 2: After I tell them for the third fucking time.
Speaker 1: But let me tell you something. If he wasn't shit,
Speaker 1: you start to mold this person. You know they need you,
Speaker 1: you know they don't want to let you go. That
Speaker 1: is a bad person.
Speaker 3: But guess who gives thirteen chances and guess who gets block? No?
Speaker 1: No, no, So what he knows the thing though, when
Speaker 1: someone I'm not trying to call you week, just let
Speaker 1: me get the oh. When someone is in the dumps
Speaker 1: of love, right, they let you go, they're like fuck,
Speaker 1: they feel good for a second and then you come
Speaker 1: back and you're manipulate. I'm gonna do this right, baby,
Speaker 1: this and that you know I'm already weak for this
Speaker 1: person in this moment.
Speaker 2: And that's the Stockholm not only no one can make
Speaker 2: you feel better than you.
Speaker 1: I'm just supposed to go to another nigga, you're gonna
Speaker 1: think about you, go to her friends, go on vacation. No,
Speaker 1: there's only one thing that pacifies the problem.
Speaker 2: It's like drugs, but not only the Stockholm syndrome of that.
Speaker 1: I really love about it. Hold on, but I also
Speaker 1: very intentional when they're no, they're hurting.
Speaker 2: It's not only that, it's also for a lot of us.
Speaker 2: And this is men, men and women. We are also
Speaker 2: taught that marriage, as well as relationships, take work. They're
Speaker 2: not easy. Everything's not going to be perfect. If it's
Speaker 2: a love worth having, you have to fight for it.
Speaker 2: So all of these ideas, with this being my first relationship,
Speaker 2: a part of me and seeing a lot of my
Speaker 2: friends and other relationships and put up with bullshit, a
Speaker 2: part of me was like, okay, I'm easily. As soon
Speaker 2: as the nigga pissed me off, I'm out that bitch
Speaker 2: on to the next one. So a part of me
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, I'm in a real relationship.
Speaker 2: Let me fight for this, let me show him I
Speaker 2: do love him, let me let me take him back
Speaker 2: and forgive him and let, you know, show him that
Speaker 2: I can be a better partner. And maybe he's trying
Speaker 2: to come back and show that he could be a
Speaker 2: better partner. That's a unfortunately, this fucked up thing. There's
Speaker 2: a song and y'all know it, The ship that you
Speaker 2: come out to, Nigga, the song by Summer Walker.
Speaker 1: It's always like, uh.
Speaker 2: The hurt song, you know, the one by Summer Walker, and.
Speaker 4: Oh you come out to that?
Speaker 1: And Summer Walker also singing the most depressing songs of
Speaker 1: all time and it's literally your cry performing performs picnic, Yes,
Speaker 1: and that makes me cry.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes me cry too. That's why I come
Speaker 3: out to it.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people it brings that emotional worse.
Speaker 3: That's why it's so beautiful.
Speaker 1: Why do you want to come out to that?
Speaker 3: Because people are emotionless? Thank God for things that actually
Speaker 3: make people feel something, Okay, And this fucking, this numb, ignorant,
Speaker 3: filthy world.
Speaker 1: So bessy about that song. I was watching Summer Walker
Speaker 1: like performing on YouTube or something, and all I could
Speaker 1: think is, I don't really like all the BBL stuff
Speaker 1: on her. I just think she's so beautiful that I
Speaker 1: kind of hate sometimes, like what culture has become like
Speaker 1: listening to music like this bitch looks like a fashion
Speaker 1: over queen. What the fuck is gon be weird?
Speaker 2: You could get all the ship done in your body
Speaker 2: and these niggas still gonna act up.
Speaker 1: Bro, don't meddle perfection, all of it injection and it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter they don't.
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think like I hate that if
Speaker 3: something goes like anything, any any beauty standard that a
Speaker 3: woman does in excess, don't don't put that back on
Speaker 3: the bros. I think a lot for yourselves and for
Speaker 3: other women, and nobody knows what it's going to do
Speaker 3: to your body, Like everybody when they go to wherever
Speaker 3: they go and they tell them what it's supposed to
Speaker 3: look like. Uh, you know, there's a lot of things
Speaker 3: that go wrong with making.
Speaker 1: Don't you do that today? All well, not all, but
Speaker 1: most there's like a ig We talked about this a
Speaker 1: few weeks ago. I think with Julie Ginger, do you
Speaker 1: think there's like an internet standard of beauty how the
Speaker 1: girl will look kind of like an ey?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's all AI. Now all them bitches don't
Speaker 2: be looking like that.
Speaker 4: Well, I think the point is to look like that
Speaker 4: though filters to get the.
Speaker 2: I and then you see him in person and they look nuts.
Speaker 1: I really crazy.
Speaker 4: Shout out to Wai Speeds. Y'all be funny, not unless they.
Speaker 2: Be naturally beautiful. I want to ask. I want to
Speaker 2: get back to this because after experiencing this, I realized that.
Speaker 2: And I want to bring this up because I used
Speaker 2: to refer to him as so may. I at one
Speaker 2: point did believe he was my soulmate and having that
Speaker 2: that interaction with my body after just seeing him, made
Speaker 2: me realize there's some level of soul ties. And I
Speaker 2: want to talk about a little bit of soul ties,
Speaker 2: but also energy transference with relationships and casual sex, because
Speaker 2: it's I'm only asking to fight against. I'm only asking
Speaker 2: this too because we're in LA and I brought up
Speaker 2: you know, I went back into the roller dicks I got,
Speaker 2: I bought. I got a lot about niggas back on
Speaker 2: my line, and so there's a nigga here that they
Speaker 2: never leave. So I was really excited to see this
Speaker 2: one guy here. And we've been back facetiming, back talking.
Speaker 2: You knew I was coming here, and he went ghosts
Speaker 2: the past couple of days before I got here, and
Speaker 2: so he hit me back, and literally I was already
Speaker 2: cause I'm like, nigga, you know I'm coming. I need
Speaker 2: to feel the excitement that I'm coming. And he let
Speaker 2: me know, Sorry, I haven't slept. I've been on a
Speaker 2: three day bench like drinking. And to me, that made
Speaker 2: me feel like, nigga, you fighting something else. I don't
Speaker 2: even want that shit inside of me whatever you're battling,
Speaker 2: because no, I'm good. Even though I wanted to get
Speaker 2: in his boot hole, I wasn't even gonna let me
Speaker 2: a three day bitch. Nigga, you have a job. I
Speaker 2: need to know. No, bitch, it wasn't Friday to Sunday.
Speaker 2: To me, if anybody is like I haven't slept, I've
Speaker 2: been drunk and I've been binging for three days, that's
Speaker 2: not the type of person I want.
Speaker 3: You never fucked the nigga into loom on Memorial Day weekend. No,
Speaker 3: on the fourth day my Miami Memorial Day weekend, fight weekend, catch.
Speaker 1: A nigga on the Sunday went through something. The problem
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna.
Speaker 2: I don't want to transfer like energies with a nigga
Speaker 2: that I think is battling his own demon.
Speaker 1: I will tell you this, I got a nigga, who's
Speaker 1: there people that maybe aren't drinking or explicitly saying it, it's.
Speaker 2: Still battling, yeah, man, But I don't know about him.
Speaker 2: Let me not know about it, goddamn it.
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing. Sometimes when you're on that kind
Speaker 1: of shiit, what what what you know?
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people are too creative with
Speaker 3: their storytelling, And the most dangerous part is most of
Speaker 3: the stories they tell are to themselves, right, And we've
Speaker 3: become so empowered and so free that we think that
Speaker 3: we we can sell, like we can come up with
Speaker 3: our own narrative for basically any sort of situation. Now,
Speaker 3: the beauty in that is because you can prevent yourself
Speaker 3: from being hurt. But the delusion in it is I
Speaker 3: could hear that same story as a third party, and
Speaker 3: I can say, you know what, in order for me
Speaker 3: to save myself, I'm going to say that I was
Speaker 3: probably upset, honestly that this guy kind of curved me
Speaker 3: and then wasn't prepared for me when I got here.
Speaker 3: So his presentation to me makes me all of a
Speaker 3: sudden go back into my rolodex of excuses and say,
Speaker 3: you know what, I'm so glad this shit didn't work
Speaker 3: out because it's an energy you weren't really caring about.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no no. He might have got that.
Speaker 1: I get that vendor, but you drink too. No no, no,
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: But what's crazy about you even saying that is in
Speaker 2: my dating currently and in how men have been showing
Speaker 2: up for me recently. In dating, I'm very adamant with
Speaker 2: only giving people the time of day that I feel
Speaker 2: like deserve it. So, yes, he went on a binger.
Speaker 2: I don't like the three days or the fact that
Speaker 2: he went and I feel like keep battling something cool. However,
Speaker 2: in the same breath, I'm also in a place where
Speaker 2: you didn't respond for three days. You didn't roll out
Speaker 2: the red carpet that I'm coming. That's not the treatment
Speaker 2: from anybody, casual sex or not that I'm seeking.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I could.
Speaker 2: Say it's one of two things, But yeah, to me,
Speaker 2: I know what I want from a partner or a
Speaker 2: casual sex encounter or friends with benefits, but I don't.
Speaker 3: Really want that first.
Speaker 2: I get it.
Speaker 3: You started this story off with the with the dick
Speaker 3: roller decks. But it's like it's like it's like when
Speaker 3: you pulled this card out of the dick roller decks,
Speaker 3: you know, not the not the kinetic friendship, like right,
Speaker 3: not the spiritual bond, like you're only you're only flipping
Speaker 3: this thing for like available dick. Yes, And then when
Speaker 3: we pull the dick out right now, it's like I
Speaker 3: want to dress this dick up and have it performed
Speaker 3: for me because I want you to be ready when
Speaker 3: I land showered with with all my favorite snacks by
Speaker 3: the bedside and fucking two gallons.
Speaker 1: Of loo I have for things you're making me think
Speaker 1: of right now.
Speaker 3: But that's the delusion.
Speaker 1: I won't I want one? Do you need? I want
Speaker 1: to know when what was the text you sent into
Speaker 1: I want to bring something up. My man told me
Speaker 1: about a girl that he fucks with this time of time.
Speaker 1: Whatever happens right like curly, like if he wants to
Speaker 1: like fucking random is hit. I travel a lot, so
Speaker 1: but this is something we discussed again. So he's like, yo,
Speaker 1: he's like this.
Speaker 3: Girl boyfriend, call him something else.
Speaker 1: I don't need to call him something else. That's the boyfriend.
Speaker 1: So he says, this girl was like bugging on him
Speaker 1: about communication.
Speaker 4: He's like, I'm really seeing here looking at my phone,
Speaker 4: like I.
Speaker 1: Told you I got to short you, Like I don't.
Speaker 1: I can't get back to you right now. He's like,
Speaker 1: it was crazy to me that I set this very
Speaker 1: friends with benefits. If I fuck you, I fuck you
Speaker 1: relationship with this person. He's like, we're not dating. I've
Speaker 1: never taken her out. It's just been sex. And she
Speaker 1: was mad that I couldn't write her back quick enough.
Speaker 1: He said, I don't understand how the standard became communication
Speaker 1: when I've just been fucking and not doing shit else.
Speaker 1: He's like, this girl was really bugging on what she
Speaker 1: thinks she deserves for me, when in reality she never
Speaker 1: put that I deserve X y Z even before sex.
Speaker 1: So I want to do well to say people in
Speaker 1: very casual sexual encounters do not think that they have
Speaker 1: to have this Like I'm in courtesy. What was courtesy.
Speaker 3: Can give you? But not.
Speaker 1: No, bro, like mind you.
Speaker 2: We were face timing when I just had a layover
Speaker 2: in Atlanta. Nigga called me three times back to back
Speaker 2: face time and I had to check them the next morning, Like, bro,
Speaker 2: unless you did, I said, you alive nigga, because don't
Speaker 2: you ever call me three times back on respond to
Speaker 2: oh no, it was like multiple texts, let me see,
Speaker 2: let me hold. But see, here's the thing, whether you
Speaker 2: were casually fucking someone, whether your friends with benefits with
Speaker 2: someone to me, and this is where let me grow
Speaker 2: up from how I acted in my twenties to being
Speaker 2: in my thirties. I would like common courtesy, human decency
Speaker 2: from someone who I don't even have to reply because
Speaker 2: I'm giving you my fucking pussy, my nigga respond to
Speaker 2: a text message. So he went a few days. So
Speaker 2: I said, you're doing this shit again. I'm gonna let
Speaker 2: you be. He literally said, I was on a binge
Speaker 2: this oh week, it was a weekend. This was a
Speaker 2: Monday response, so it was a weekend. Makes sense because
Speaker 2: he has a job. Drunk for three days straight, no sleep.
Speaker 2: I said, you got it, get well soon. Then he said, morning,
Speaker 2: what are your plans for BT weekend? I said, I'm
Speaker 2: off for you. You literally ain't been responsive and I'm
Speaker 2: put for over a week. And he's like, okay, that's
Speaker 2: your choice. Wish you nothing but the best, and he
Speaker 2: got a thumbs up. That's it. And now I realized it.
Speaker 1: Was a what did you initially text that he didn't
Speaker 1: response to.
Speaker 2: No, But we were face timing. It wasn't a text.
Speaker 2: It was just like that I'm gonna be there, be
Speaker 2: there next week this time, and he didn't answer.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: He called me the last time he called me on
Speaker 2: face time, I didn't four o'clock in the morning.
Speaker 1: In three days. What was this last communication? Hold on
Speaker 1: made you so upset?
Speaker 2: Hold on? Well, the fact that we spent an hour
Speaker 2: on FaceTime making plans for this week that I'm here,
Speaker 2: and you go the whole week before I come here
Speaker 2: without talking about it wasn't a week, you.
Speaker 1: Said, it was three days?
Speaker 3: Still long enough.
Speaker 1: What was it that he didn't respond to that?
Speaker 3: But the reason why he because.
Speaker 2: He left me all read. I said, you leave me
Speaker 2: on red raggedy. Then he said, yo, this was but
Speaker 2: see I don't know the dates now it says Monday, Saturday, Saturday, Monday, Monday, Tuesday,
Speaker 2: Tuesday later no regardless, noo, But like like, I don't care.
Speaker 2: I didn't like the communication effort. You not gonna get
Speaker 2: in my faith, layup with me and be in my
Speaker 2: pussy if you wasn't.
Speaker 3: But see that wasn't a dick roller decks that was
Speaker 3: fucking unsolved mysteries, right, you know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 3: I just I just feel like I feel like that
Speaker 3: what fucks us up in our head is how we
Speaker 3: think things are supposed to be. And most of his
Speaker 3: damage is done before we even interact with another human being.
Speaker 3: And most and I think a lot of times we
Speaker 3: set people up for failure because we don't even give
Speaker 3: them the whole play. We just give them the offensive line.
Speaker 1: We're saying right before, and to his point, right before
Speaker 1: that you didn't want to fuck with someone that was
Speaker 1: energetically on a vendor. Now it's the standards you have.
Speaker 2: But but why can't two things exist? I genuinely do
Speaker 2: not want to deal with someone.
Speaker 1: Me with your friends. But me, let's be me, drinking.
Speaker 2: With my friends did not leave me unresponsive to the people,
Speaker 2: the niggas, the friends, my family that I care about.
Speaker 2: So that's one thing. Hold on and me drinking or
Speaker 2: having fun is not me being on a binge, me
Speaker 2: literally not sleeping because I'm drinking, I'm partying. I'm exuding
Speaker 2: this level of behavior. I can drink, I can have
Speaker 2: a drink. That's not a problem. At the same time,
Speaker 2: now that I'm casually dating one thing that I wasn't doing.
Speaker 1: Are you are you no?
Speaker 2: No, and we're not going to do this.
Speaker 1: No man, no to me if you're just fucking a nigga.
Speaker 2: To me, if I'm just fucking a nigga, I still
Speaker 2: want the common courtesy, human decency of you responding to
Speaker 2: me and not leaving me on red for three days,
Speaker 2: especially knowing I'm coming to your city. Bro, I get it. Sorry,
Speaker 2: anybody that I'm gonna hope my.
Speaker 1: Legs laying about like my volume, like Beard Bay cut
Speaker 1: me off for like a or six months because he
Speaker 1: said I didn't text backward. But I get that. I'm like, bro, okay,
Speaker 1: but you're not my nick like, get over it. I'd'm sorry,
Speaker 1: but when people make me beholden to like answering on
Speaker 1: their time, but it's not even mean to me literally
Speaker 1: with my friends all weekend. Let's just say it's a
Speaker 1: birthday weekend. I'm having a good time. Okay, I'll get
Speaker 1: to you when I get to you. I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't, and that's up to me.
Speaker 1: I'd like to get to work text. I get it.
Speaker 2: I get it, but I don't expect. I don't expect
Speaker 2: mind you of response within an hour. If we are
Speaker 2: actively talking, I'm coming to your city. You supposed to
Speaker 2: lay up and be up inside of me. You not
Speaker 2: responding for days on end. I'm sorry. There's no way
Speaker 2: that you deserve at this point, my time, my pussy,
Speaker 2: my space, and to me. I've finally gotten to a point,
Speaker 2: thank God, where I can actually feel as though only
Speaker 2: people that make me feel wanted, feel desired should be
Speaker 2: able to be in my space and to me, whether
Speaker 2: it's a text message within twenty four hours, twenty four
Speaker 2: hours is not asking a lot. I don't need joe
Speaker 2: As to respond once.
Speaker 1: I text you.
Speaker 2: But if you go three four days without hitting me
Speaker 2: a week before I'm coming to your city, you are
Speaker 2: not someone that I need to give my time to.
Speaker 1: If that's your standard. Cool, However, I just think we
Speaker 1: are putting a lot of rules on casual. It's human.
Speaker 1: I think deity deserves that. I don't think fucking does shit.
Speaker 1: I don't you gonna be in my pussy? You got
Speaker 1: if I'm give him shit pussy next weekend July fourth
Speaker 1: weekend and I don't hit them back this week whatever,
Speaker 1: like if all we talk about is sex.
Speaker 2: We don't only talk about sex, we talk about his
Speaker 2: kid work, nigga, you got me on FaceTime even caring
Speaker 2: about your motherfucking Oh sorry, there's a guy.
Speaker 3: I mean, y'all really don't need nobody else. But no,
Speaker 3: like check that was crazy, but it's brilliant. It's brilliant.
Speaker 2: It wasn't a debate, bro.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think if that didn't happen with your
Speaker 1: ex and you weren't in that mode, if I.
Speaker 2: Wasn't thirty three and grew to fuck up and say,
Speaker 2: these niggas don't deserve pussye, But.
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, all right, A couple of things, A
Speaker 3: couple of things, A couple of things right for me?
Speaker 2: I mean, because I want to be treated well.
Speaker 3: I think I think. I think Mandy gives pussy. I
Speaker 3: think some women just get dick, and those are those
Speaker 3: are those are different things.
Speaker 1: Andy's actually giving the dick in this scenario, Yo, come, no, no.
Speaker 3: No, but no no, actually she's not like if.
Speaker 1: You lover, if you're someone that's showing up for sex,
Speaker 1: women giving you an experienced nigga.
Speaker 3: No, I mean, you know there are like in my
Speaker 3: own personal life, any casual sex I've had is like
Speaker 3: it would be like I'm talking to a woman in
Speaker 3: DM for like a year and a half. I finally
Speaker 3: our schedules, finally connecting, we're in the same city at
Speaker 3: the same time, and then we fucked. Or it might
Speaker 3: be like an ex girlfriend who doesn't want to move
Speaker 3: on and actually fucking new nigga, but she's okay with
Speaker 3: fucking me even though we're not in a relationship. That's
Speaker 3: probably like my extent of casual sex. Now, no, those
Speaker 3: instances are different. But I just feel like in my incident,
Speaker 3: she just wanted to come get some dick. She wasn't
Speaker 3: a submissive woman trying to make sure that she had
Speaker 3: a qualified, caring person to give her pussy to.
Speaker 2: She just wants.
Speaker 3: Now, when a woman wants dick, she will go to
Speaker 3: her nearest nightclub, motherfucking car wash, wherever, wherever dix are
Speaker 3: so and to be like, you know what givings like, Listen,
Speaker 3: it don't gotta be free, Like if a nigga gives
Speaker 3: you great dick, you should put fifty. You remember y'all
Speaker 3: had the love guy in here and he was like, yo,
Speaker 3: I fucked the bank teller. Jason Love right, Jason Love
Speaker 3: told me that if you fucking bank Taeller good and
Speaker 3: you count of fucked up, she should bless you for
Speaker 3: the happy ended. Like I wish I would have got
Speaker 3: a lot more cash for the quality dick I was
Speaker 3: giving out, especially as a side nigga, because side nigga
Speaker 3: dick is what saves relationship.
Speaker 1: That kept me so happy.
Speaker 3: And that's what I'm saying crazy, But no, that was
Speaker 3: But like I think most women have to ask themselves
Speaker 3: when they're when they engage, when they when they get
Speaker 3: that they they dick roller DECKX moment they got asked them,
Speaker 3: am I trying to get fucked? Or am I trying
Speaker 3: to actually give my pussy to somebody I feel like
Speaker 3: cares about me. And if you don't have your mind
Speaker 3: made up about that, you're gonna set You're gonna set
Speaker 3: other people up.
Speaker 1: For get like it's super emoi and for the most
Speaker 1: like you don't want to let me be emo.
Speaker 2: That's what we have.
Speaker 1: But I think that's the point, like that I'm trying
Speaker 1: to make so like I'm so emotional in sexual encounters
Speaker 1: that I've sometimes ruined what it's just a sexual encounter
Speaker 1: men that I don't want to date men that I
Speaker 1: don't want to spend more time with them that I
Speaker 1: know is a bad investment of my time. I feel
Speaker 1: like because I've had those parameters and not just a
Speaker 1: text or whatever they like I'm talking about, maybe I've
Speaker 1: had like rules or whatever set it's kind of kept
Speaker 1: me from fun casual sex. I really think I was
Speaker 1: so on a high horse. I'm not saying you are
Speaker 1: with the sex in my past, with what I needed
Speaker 1: from casual sex partners. Then it really kept me away
Speaker 1: from niggas because it's like, damn, you want me to
Speaker 1: be your boyfriend, but not be your boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Oh, it ain't keeping me away from niggas. I just said,
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna.
Speaker 1: See you, right, I.
Speaker 3: Mean, do maybe people want these these other than monogamous bonds,
Speaker 3: Like I don't think a lot of people really want
Speaker 3: full blown casual sex.
Speaker 1: I don't either.
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people don't. And I think
Speaker 3: I think we I think we did people, but I
Speaker 3: think we all. I think we all march to that
Speaker 3: drum like as like like if if culture at the
Speaker 3: highest is in entertainment and the music, all the music
Speaker 3: suggests that you know, we can fuck niggas just because
Speaker 3: they give us money, and then we can fuck hose
Speaker 3: because they just look good and they want to be around.
Speaker 3: But I don't think people like on the day to day.
Speaker 3: I don't think people can actually handle that.
Speaker 1: I complete. I think men can't either.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of women I wanted them to call
Speaker 3: me back.
Speaker 1: If we're going to ask for something casual and we
Speaker 1: want this casual exchange, we can't then say it has
Speaker 1: to come with X y Z.
Speaker 3: Why not?
Speaker 2: Why not?
Speaker 3: Because that's not casual. That's if you want me to
Speaker 3: clean my crib and have roses on the table before
Speaker 3: you come get dick. You did not come over here
Speaker 3: for dick. You came from romance, and romance is different
Speaker 3: than tell.
Speaker 1: Me what y'all think about this scenario that's happening into
Speaker 1: a homegirl mind claims she's had the best stick in
Speaker 1: her life, hates that he sends her an uber and
Speaker 1: she pulls up. She has now added this stipulation, but
Speaker 1: after about four months, she would prefer at least they
Speaker 1: have a meal together and go out and get drinks.
Speaker 1: This niggas like, that's that you want me to take
Speaker 1: you on a date before I fucking get some pussy
Speaker 1: that I ain't going and we're like all we do
Speaker 1: is fucked. So literally said to her, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you kind of read you, but she didn't deserve He
Speaker 1: sent her a text he said, Hey, we'd love to
Speaker 1: keep seeing you, but like, I don't know if you're
Speaker 1: not dating other people and you're suddenly putting a requirement
Speaker 1: on me that we didn't set in the beginning. I
Speaker 1: don't want to do this pretend thing just to keep
Speaker 1: having set like we already.
Speaker 2: Had but casual sec he now wants to date him to.
Speaker 1: Know se, I don't know that.
Speaker 3: I think she just wants something else wants.
Speaker 1: I didn't think she wants to date him. I think
Speaker 1: she just she wants to.
Speaker 2: She doesn't feel good about it, right, But no, But
Speaker 2: that's what I'm saying in my what you for our twenties,
Speaker 2: I was so fine with that, And that's why I'm
Speaker 2: saying even this person, Yes, it's as small as a
Speaker 2: text back, I text doesn't count, no, but what I'm
Speaker 2: saying is too. Even in my encounters of casual sex,
Speaker 2: now I know the things that I like is romance.
Speaker 2: And what's crazy is I took a screenshot because you
Speaker 2: have a poem on your you have a poem on
Speaker 2: your page, and I have a screenshot from Cinnamon Love
Speaker 2: who used to be who actually was a guest here
Speaker 2: on this podcast, and the response to your poem.
Speaker 1: Sorry, wrong phone.
Speaker 2: This, this uh dealing with two phones thing is kind
Speaker 2: of crazy.
Speaker 1: Who got two phones?
Speaker 2: Me? I got two? One for the whole you want
Speaker 2: to say, you know, well.
Speaker 3: She that's like ipassed. When I first came a.
Speaker 2: Well she left, she basically left a comment under your
Speaker 2: page and here it goes right here she said that no,
Speaker 2: that's wrong too. Basically anyway, don't know where the fuck
Speaker 2: is at, but she basically said that romance is actually
Speaker 2: the bare minimum and is in terms of your interaction
Speaker 2: with somebody. And I think, to me, again, the flowers
Speaker 2: can be a lot. Responding to a text is minimal,
Speaker 2: But the way I used to talk about the lack
Speaker 2: of not needing intimacy, romance to me does now seem
Speaker 2: like the bare minimum and what someone can at least
Speaker 2: offer if you laying down giving them your whole body. No,
Speaker 2: look at ah, bitch, AnyWho.
Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't. I just want to
Speaker 1: say I don't want to shit on you at this
Speaker 1: because as someone that's required.
Speaker 2: Right and now I do, I wasted my time.
Speaker 1: I got in so many little like things of self
Speaker 1: worthiness about if a man wasn't doing these things before
Speaker 1: he fucked me, and I think it was simply ridiculous
Speaker 1: because I genuinely just wanted to fuck. I knew I
Speaker 1: wanted someone deeper, smarter, maybe just better at all aspects
Speaker 1: of life, or someone that was a better fit for me.
Speaker 1: I get.
Speaker 2: But for some reason, I was really sitting here like.
Speaker 1: I can't fuck with him because he didn't do this.
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's the bfing.
Speaker 1: I've been dickless, not right now. I had been dickless
Speaker 1: for funds because I was doing shit like that. So
Speaker 1: I just feel like, oh no, if someone is safe
Speaker 1: and respectful, yes, nigga, that's enough. I get that.
Speaker 2: I just realized in ending my relationship the same way. Right,
Speaker 2: when you have sex, you want your dick suck, right,
Speaker 2: You like for your dick to get sucked if you're
Speaker 2: gonna have sex.
Speaker 1: Right, will you know manny?
Speaker 2: Oh no, let me finish, let me finish.
Speaker 1: No, no no.
Speaker 2: Will you have sex with somebody you want them to
Speaker 2: kiss you right, Okay. So to me, what I realized
Speaker 2: from my last relationship, the intimacy that I obtained actually
Speaker 2: fulfilled me more than the dick.
Speaker 1: So what's that one moment? So one moment?
Speaker 2: So when I so, when I broke up with when
Speaker 2: I broke up with my ex and went back to
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven, well, we had sex, even though
Speaker 2: it was top three of the sex, I felt empty after.
Speaker 2: So to me, now, if I'm gonna if I'm gonna
Speaker 2: have sex with someone, though these aren't sexual things, it's
Speaker 2: the things that within my mind make my pussy drip.
Speaker 2: But were you always feeling empty?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying. I experienced with my ex,
Speaker 2: the things, the going out and getting drinks, the talking,
Speaker 2: the laying hold on, let me finish, Let me finish.
Speaker 2: Because because because I am such a sexual being and
Speaker 2: because I've had this nasty, freaky, wild sex, I can
Speaker 2: have that with anybody. However, now that I'm having these
Speaker 2: casual encounters or I'm having sex now with people that
Speaker 2: are not my man, I realize though after my relationship,
Speaker 2: the things that actually turn me on about even being
Speaker 2: around a nigga are those little those little intimacy not wrong.
Speaker 2: I want to just say that, well, yeah, because these
Speaker 2: are my feelings.
Speaker 1: But I'm saying if the expectation you have if a
Speaker 1: man doesn't do it, I think that you being no
Speaker 1: because you experienced love and now your standardship, well no,
Speaker 1: because you don't have a boyfriend right now. You need
Speaker 1: these niggas to fill the gap. It's not even filling
Speaker 1: the gap as much as this is.
Speaker 2: If I'm gonna lay up with you and give you
Speaker 2: my time and give you my pussy to me, the
Speaker 2: things that actually fulfill me and make me feel good
Speaker 2: are those little things outside of it.
Speaker 3: That's why, and that's.
Speaker 2: Why I communicate that.
Speaker 3: That's why romance can never be the bare minimum.
Speaker 1: Bitch. I ain't gonna lie.
Speaker 2: That was a circle back because I was kind of
Speaker 2: agreeing with that girl. But you're right, I mean, because
Speaker 2: clearly it's a lot to ask for it. You're telling
Speaker 2: me it's a lot to ask for it.
Speaker 3: Like I've been, like I've been on this planet before,
Speaker 3: like you said, but right now, but right now, this time,
Speaker 3: thirty nine years is time, right, and out of all
Speaker 3: of the things that they've introduced, like electric cars, diamonds,
Speaker 3: you know, fucking keyese that doesn't go moldy after forty
Speaker 3: five days?
Speaker 1: The fuck is that?
Speaker 3: Like? The best the best invention was like this best
Speaker 3: friend that you can have sex and create life with.
Speaker 3: Like I don't care about how if you if you
Speaker 3: work hard enough, you can become like a doctor who
Speaker 3: can actually like crack. Like that's cool. But you know
Speaker 3: what else is cool? Everybody else in my life I inherited,
Speaker 3: you know that. God, no, none of these people I picked. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but I but guess what, guess what I can do?
Speaker 3: Like you know, just like they've invented like fucking polyester
Speaker 3: and poly your thing. They invented this concept that you
Speaker 3: could take a stranger who you find visually pleasing yep,
Speaker 3: and you can. You can abandon everything that was of
Speaker 3: no value to you and you get the opportunity to
Speaker 3: start anew with a person who is not your elder
Speaker 3: or a parent figure that you had to serve for
Speaker 3: some time, and you have to do the reciprocal when
Speaker 3: they get older. Right, Like this is its own thing,
Speaker 3: and the beauty about it is it hits you in
Speaker 3: so many places that the person like that, like it's
Speaker 3: it's literally your umbrella in a storm.
Speaker 1: Like that like that.
Speaker 3: So when you when you have that, the fact that
Speaker 3: the fact that we like when we connect, it's like what,
Speaker 3: I don't mind. Like I could have a connection with
Speaker 3: a dog, but it doesn't arouse me sexually, but woman does.
Speaker 3: So I can communicate with women, I can creep pro
Speaker 3: create with women like it's the most beautiful thing that
Speaker 3: ever existed. But the only thing that stops you from
Speaker 3: just being my homie is the romance.
Speaker 1: And you know what, but romance for some men and
Speaker 1: maybe not for you, because you seem just someone who
Speaker 1: applies a lot to give obviously throughout your work too.
Speaker 1: Romance for some men is not for that connection is
Speaker 1: a lot to ask.
Speaker 3: But so so Spanish. So is a Spanish customs form
Speaker 3: to somebody who never got it in high school? What
Speaker 3: you're missing? It's like, well, you know, I guess, I guess,
Speaker 3: like I kind of try to have analogies because I
Speaker 3: want people to take their same logic and introduced it
Speaker 3: to any other area of life, of life. Uh oh no,
Speaker 3: just let me. I just mean that romance to some men,
Speaker 3: specifically black men, specifically black men who never watched their
Speaker 3: mom get bought flowers, right, specifically black men who've never
Speaker 3: who were never brought up in an environment that catered
Speaker 3: to women, you know, especially because they don't get the like,
Speaker 3: where do urban black men American right, let's be let's
Speaker 3: be specific, where do urban black men get their romance
Speaker 3: programming from?
Speaker 1: You know what, I think it's wrong. I believe it's taught.
Speaker 1: I think I think we all all win and have
Speaker 1: had to do a service with one.
Speaker 2: Nick yes to tea you gotta teach.
Speaker 1: You gotta teach your ex girlfriend that nigga's so good,
Speaker 1: random flowers all the time. Thank you girl. You gotta
Speaker 1: find out who I am yet, because you're probably going
Speaker 1: deep in the pictures and being like this bitch. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I learn it from when I was my ex last one.
Speaker 1: Just you learn it from women. I actually believe this
Speaker 1: is why men need homegirls, female friendship and kinship.
Speaker 3: No when they when they took black churches and black
Speaker 3: community centers. Uh, black people are never as youth. Inner
Speaker 3: city black kids are never put in an opportunity in
Speaker 3: a situation other than school where they can develop and
Speaker 3: fellowship like platonically right, like it's and then even as
Speaker 3: even as adults, man the networking events are never as
Speaker 3: crowded as the nightclubs. And we're all in this in
Speaker 3: this you know romance, like not even romantic, it's just
Speaker 3: the sexual culture. So we don't have a place that
Speaker 3: we harvest them like like like like Sunday school and
Speaker 3: church and acquire practice the day before that was enough
Speaker 3: programming to compete with the world, like with school, and
Speaker 3: it's like whatever, whatever, whatever got drilled into my kids'
Speaker 3: brains through Monday through Friday, between a good home and
Speaker 3: church and community activities, it would.
Speaker 1: Kind of wash that shit out.
Speaker 3: But at a certain age, right, I can no longer
Speaker 3: be responsible, like just I have to take ownership over
Speaker 3: my own rearing, Like as a twenty two year old man,
Speaker 3: if I didn't have certain qualities, it would be a
Speaker 3: lot easier for me to blame my parents or you know,
Speaker 3: just you know.
Speaker 4: But at forty So with that said, yeah, to rap it.
Speaker 3: To rapid, because we gotta.
Speaker 1: Go no, no, no, just like actually, because I really
Speaker 1: am curious from what you're on right now. Sure, if
Speaker 1: a woman and you have a casual sexual relationship.
Speaker 3: Casual sexual relationship.
Speaker 1: And romance is something she's requiring, do you feel like
Speaker 1: that's too much to add.
Speaker 3: I think even my casual sex comes with romance because
Speaker 3: I don't that the pleasure of pen tration is great,
Speaker 3: but the viscosity is I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna use that. That's a good one, dis.
Speaker 2: B I s see, oh see why that sounded right, nigga?
Speaker 1: At one point you think that that most should.
Speaker 3: Well, a lot of a lot of people were taught
Speaker 3: how to how to talk to desire sex separate from romance.
Speaker 3: I thought sex for me was always the result of
Speaker 3: my romance. Like I was writing poems and cooking for
Speaker 3: women before I kissed them, and I was, you know
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, like I had to. I wanted to
Speaker 3: be romantic because I it felt good for me to
Speaker 3: be romantic, but I knew it it made them feel
Speaker 3: good too.
Speaker 1: But it was your blur a line for either party?
Speaker 2: Of course it does.
Speaker 3: It can't finish the question.
Speaker 2: I know where shes gonna does it ever?
Speaker 1: Blur line for either parties to where it may not
Speaker 1: be healthy? He is this where we fall into.
Speaker 3: Well, yes, yes, the best the love of mone fall into.
Speaker 2: But that's where you have to constantly. But that's where
Speaker 2: talking and listening to me comes into play. It's communication,
Speaker 2: and we always talk about communication being key, right, We've
Speaker 2: been saying that from episode one, So to me, when
Speaker 2: you you have to express the things that you want,
Speaker 2: what you're looking for, and you have to listen to
Speaker 2: what this person also wants, but what they're willing to
Speaker 2: offer as soon as.
Speaker 1: I can't handle this. Actually I'm a person that I
Speaker 1: cannot handle too much romance in casual situations because it's
Speaker 1: ann casual situation, because it's actually so needed and important
Speaker 1: for me that I would not know what to do
Speaker 1: with it. I'm gonna really receive it, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying, You fucking make it?
Speaker 3: Are you're scared though? Like? Have you? Have you done
Speaker 3: the right to ask yourself through? Am I? Am? I? Am?
Speaker 3: I afraid of going I want to keep the romance
Speaker 3: at baby, because I'm afraid of going over the cliff hurt,
Speaker 3: not even being hurt, but just being just unlocking that
Speaker 3: level of romance to where you get to Wheremandy is
Speaker 3: and I can't have the sex without the romances. Like
Speaker 3: is that is that a genuine fear? You know?
Speaker 1: Like if I fear, actually it's not her, it's not that,
Speaker 1: it's more about I know that people have an understanding.
Speaker 1: Let's just say we're gonna start fucking right, and I
Speaker 1: know you're a poet type of dude. I know you're
Speaker 1: gonna have the candles out. If you started doing those
Speaker 1: things for me, the lines would be blurred because this
Speaker 1: is simply something that turns you on as a part
Speaker 1: of sex. You're that type of guy scorpio or whatever.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, Oh, this feels amazing. I would
Speaker 1: love to keep having this. My brain just can't compute
Speaker 1: romance and sex.
Speaker 2: So you can because you can't comp I've compartmentalized especially
Speaker 2: sex like often, like I've had sex because I was
Speaker 2: drunk and just wanted to have fun. I ate pussy
Speaker 2: because I just wanted to eat pussy, not that it
Speaker 2: was anything more than that, and in my twenties whether
Speaker 2: it was transactional.
Speaker 1: Shut up. Likely.
Speaker 2: So so because I've been able to compartmentalize sex as
Speaker 2: something that genuinely makes me feel good. Now that I'm
Speaker 2: able to even add the levels of romance that make
Speaker 2: me feel good, says don't make me say why you?
Speaker 2: Steven said, I wish I could have sex like you? Right,
Speaker 2: everybody more shit like it is. This is cannot do this.
Speaker 1: I ain't trying to do the ship like my homegirl
Speaker 1: asking for my homegirl wants to do to start doing
Speaker 1: things that make her feel more of a human being
Speaker 1: when in reality, but see that because she doesn't, she
Speaker 1: doesn't find the value of just being someone's sex fuck buddy.
Speaker 1: Right to me though, this is to me a patriarchal thing.
Speaker 2: You know, No, I get it, I get it. But
Speaker 2: there's also, like I said, there's a layer. Then she
Speaker 2: needs to sit with herself.
Speaker 3: Is it is she need to sit with a nigga?
Speaker 1: I feel like doing it? Hit me how great it
Speaker 1: is you were able to call me on the way
Speaker 1: back from Yeah, I just got it and going and
Speaker 1: I just got fucking.
Speaker 3: Now, how are you going to say at your job
Speaker 3: paying twenty two without asking for twenty five?
Speaker 1: Point? Is if you decided, hey, I'm casual. We're casual.
Speaker 1: This isn't going beyond this.
Speaker 3: Yesterday's price is not today's.
Speaker 2: Price, period, Please period, It's the price when I signed on.
Speaker 1: No matter.
Speaker 2: So here's the thing to all women that she wants
Speaker 2: him to take her on a date or to feed her, whatever,
Speaker 2: whatever the case may be. Right as women, if you
Speaker 2: express that you need something or that you want something,
Speaker 2: and this man is like, I ain't got it for you.
Speaker 2: That now becomes her responsibility if this man is not
Speaker 2: willing to give her what she wants, like me.
Speaker 1: So what's happening on this? And she feels so down
Speaker 1: like because she's like, I can't believe he won't do
Speaker 1: this for me. She's feeling bad about herself. I'm like, girl,
Speaker 1: it's literally learning with men. He's about to get into
Speaker 1: a thing with you because now y'all are taking this
Speaker 1: bedroom shit out in the real world and it's gonna
Speaker 1: turn into something headache.
Speaker 3: If you if you you gotta can, Can we normalize
Speaker 3: sticking dick and girls you wouldn't feed just to stick
Speaker 3: your dick? And a woman like I don't understand that.
Speaker 3: If if I've gotten the opportunity to sleep with a
Speaker 3: woman without food for time and her only up the
Speaker 3: price is like, yo, can we get a two for
Speaker 3: forty at the sizzler before we step to that crib
Speaker 3: getting down?
Speaker 1: Well, I hanging with no sizzler.
Speaker 3: Bit I mean, but I mean I regardless, like bro,
Speaker 3: like I will, I will feed you dick, but not postive.
Speaker 1: Anyways, Mike, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
Speaker 2: Can you please let everyone know where they can follow you,
Speaker 2: where they can support you, and also your book that
Speaker 2: you got.
Speaker 3: Yes, all right, So my name is just Mike the Poet.
Speaker 3: You can follow me on all platforms, Just Mike the Poet,
Speaker 3: j U S T M I K E T H.
Speaker 1: E p o E. What's your cash? We need to
Speaker 1: send you some shoes.
Speaker 3: Dollar dollar signs the Poet.
Speaker 1: I know that's right.
Speaker 2: If you want some bonus content, make sure you head
Speaker 2: on over to our patreon his patreon dot com.
Speaker 1: Thanks horrid bled This is the Yons.
Speaker 2: We have a lot of good stuff over there, and
Speaker 2: I'm making it now too to where Weezy and I
Speaker 2: go on a lot of other podcasts, and so if
Speaker 2: you just want to see where're at, that's posted on there.
Speaker 2: We have bonus content. I'm taking live calls. We do
Speaker 2: town halls every goddamn month. So go ahead and join us,
Speaker 2: support us. We love y'all. This has been yet another
Speaker 2: episode of Horrior Decisions.
Speaker 5: Bye bye, it's bonus bitches, catch up, yalla.
Speaker 1: Behind the paywall is such a nice place to talk
Speaker 1: about yourself because our YouTube.
Speaker 2: They'd be like damn bitch, you crying again, y'all. I
Speaker 2: ain't been runing a long time. Y'all can suck my
Speaker 2: diff from the back. That's that's what the fuck I see.
Speaker 4: I'm trying to think. Hold on, when's the last time
Speaker 4: I cried?
Speaker 2: The last time I cried was on Patreon when I
Speaker 2: was going through all that goddamn bullshit with that bitch,
Speaker 2: I can talk about something emo all right now, you
Speaker 2: could be chemo.
Speaker 1: So BT weekend came. My boyfriend came to LA and
Speaker 1: I don't really talk about my dad too much because
Speaker 1: for me, I don't like to really talk about his
Speaker 1: health and you know, he's getting older. But I was
Speaker 1: so emotional because he met my dad and my dad
Speaker 1: was just having a hard day. You know older people
Speaker 1: like they got a good day, they got a bad day.
Speaker 1: So he just needed a little care and stuff like that.
Speaker 1: But it was a very vulnerable thing for me to
Speaker 1: meet my dad because no one had met my dad
Speaker 1: since olday and at that point my dad wasn't in
Speaker 1: a wheelchair, so this was like a new thing and
Speaker 1: we hadn't really talked about it much. My mom was there.
Speaker 1: We all just played games together. It was nice like
Speaker 1: we were enjoying each other's company.
Speaker 2: We hadn't really talked about it.
Speaker 1: I just told him how much it meant to me.
Speaker 1: Last night we were on a double date. He said,
Speaker 1: we talked to a couple that just got married. We
Speaker 1: just went to their wedding. It was Gila. Y'all always
Speaker 1: hear me talk about the other Guila. So basically we
Speaker 1: talked about each other's parents and he was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just got to meet her dad, and it was
Speaker 1: so nice to see how that side of her is.
Speaker 1: Like I see her mom and her but I was
Speaker 1: glad to see her dad, Like I see the more
Speaker 1: serious side. I see this protector energy that she has.
Speaker 1: I'm like, my dad didn't even really talk, so how
Speaker 1: did you see all that? Like all we did is
Speaker 1: play a game. He didn't really say much to you.
Speaker 1: He was like, because I could see it the way
Speaker 1: you and your mom would move around. He would want
Speaker 1: to look watch where you're going, to make sure you're good,
Speaker 1: even if you can't open the door. It's always there,
Speaker 1: like his masculinity is always there. And I was like, damn, bro, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's just dating someone that's a
Speaker 1: little more.
Speaker 2: Empathetic or what.
Speaker 1: But like, I never had conversations like this outside of
Speaker 1: scissors about my parents or how things make me feel.
Speaker 4: Like all day was very surface level, and I it's a.
Speaker 2: Lot of men are, and especially black men.
Speaker 1: It just doesn't hit you until it hits you when
Speaker 1: you have something different. And like, I'm watching him and
Speaker 1: I don't want to start crying. And at this table
Speaker 1: we're having like this fun dinner. But I was like,
Speaker 1: he was thinking all that, and he said, then I wondered.
Speaker 1: There were a few moments where I was like thinking
Speaker 1: of how he looked at me and he's not even
Speaker 1: saying this to me.
Speaker 2: He's saying this to gils Has.
Speaker 1: He's like, I can watch him look at me with
Speaker 1: his daughter and like he used to be this protector
Speaker 1: and I'm like the new one now for her. And
Speaker 1: it's like this weird moment I'm having and I'm like
Speaker 1: what because he told me none of this and he's
Speaker 1: really thinking about it, and he's like and it made
Speaker 1: me wonder how he feels like you should be, you know,
Speaker 1: going and drilling your daughter's new man and figuring all
Speaker 1: this shit. And he's like, but maybe he can't do that.
Speaker 1: Because he's in a wheel chair, but because he can't
Speaker 1: move around on his own, like maybe he's feeling a way.
Speaker 1: And I was like, bro, it was just getting me
Speaker 1: really emotional. And we were in the car home. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, like you'really gonna be my husband, Like oh,
Speaker 1: that's like I understand now, Like this is why this
Speaker 1: is happening. This weekend we went to a Nigerian wedding
Speaker 1: and I got to be around his parents again. And
Speaker 1: when I walked in, not joking, I was the only
Speaker 1: light skinned person it was.
Speaker 2: I was like, I felt like a white one.
Speaker 1: Nigga. I wanted there. I was like, and mind you.
Speaker 2: I'm asking you sure we all got wearing nothing African.
Speaker 1: He's just not an anti table nigga. He's like, no, baby,
Speaker 1: I'm wearing my fucking tabby booths. Like do your thing,
Speaker 1: like we dressed a lot. We're sitting at his whole table.
Speaker 3: His dad.
Speaker 1: Everybody got African council. This is his dad. He got
Speaker 1: up there, he's like making a speech and I'm sitting
Speaker 1: there like, oh my god. They think I'm Puerto Rican
Speaker 1: and they think that I'm the woman that made you
Speaker 1: wear a fucking regular suit. Like that's all I could
Speaker 1: think is that I'm this influence, you know. And then
Speaker 1: I'm also feeling this pressure because he's been around my
Speaker 1: mom a lot, right because we're going to LA for
Speaker 1: a week at a time, and you know, my mom's
Speaker 1: right there, and I'm just like, am I not doing enough?
Speaker 1: Like how do I make sure I'm respecting the elders?
Speaker 1: Like that's such a process with Africans, Like, yeah, what
Speaker 1: do I do to let them know like how much
Speaker 1: I care about their son? I don't want to overdo
Speaker 1: it either with your hands, right, we didn't eat foo
Speaker 1: food and okay, okay, but making the wedding was Jamaican
Speaker 1: and African.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I was on the.
Speaker 3: Court all right.
Speaker 1: But anyway, Yeah, it's really tough because now I'm in
Speaker 1: this phase of my life where I'm like, ooh, like
Speaker 1: I really want to make sure I never thought.
Speaker 2: About being this good for someone's mom before we're their parents.
Speaker 1: But what hit me? I'm at this wedding where he
Speaker 1: introduced me to fifteen uncles, ten cousins, you know, Africans.
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