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Speaker 1: Guess what decision we're about to make. Horrible decision.

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Speaker 2: Hey, guys, welcome to another episode of Horrible Decisions. I

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Speaker 2: feel like I can because, bitch, i've been moaning, I've

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Speaker 2: been doing some good ship. I'm your girl. Madv Aka

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Speaker 2: well cor buks aka did beach?

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Speaker 1: What's up, y'all, I'm weezy. Welcome back for another episode.

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Speaker 1: Now we're not solo, but we have a man in

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Speaker 1: the building. So y'all could either love him r we do.

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Speaker 2: He's a poet, he's an author, he's my friend out

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Speaker 2: of Philly. We were touring with Tonight's conversations and I'm

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Speaker 2: glad to have you shoes at.

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Speaker 1: I don't do shoes. Are you joking?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: She must. She didn't know boyfriend. She didn't know about

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Speaker 3: the shoes.

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Speaker 4: Why would I know about the shoes. I just know

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Speaker 4: about the poaching.

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Speaker 3: Oh, it's all together. It's a package.

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Speaker 1: Let me see the bottom of your socks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, on camera right now?

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Speaker 2: Are the bottom of the.

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Speaker 1: Stat walking here with shoes?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 1: No, he has shoes.

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Speaker 2: You thought you walked in with no shoe typing ship

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Speaker 2: you took him off, you thought, oh wait, you thought

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Speaker 2: he just walked No shoes.

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Speaker 1: My expectations so low of people. I'm so aware. I'd

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Speaker 1: be like, listen, wherever slow your boat. You already kind

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Speaker 1: of have a hole teppy vibe. You might have been like, yo,

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Speaker 1: I can't be that close to the.

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Speaker 2: Earth if no, no, no, no, I'm not gonna lie. I

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Speaker 2: don't know about hoteppie.

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Speaker 1: But it's giving. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: We have to come up with that other word. Maybe artsy,

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Speaker 2: but not because you're from Philly but you do poetry.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's just being funny, like you know, it's

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Speaker 1: not like you came here with a danglyar.

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Speaker 2: No, like ho teppy to me is nineteen keys that

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Speaker 2: for sure. Like hotel, Like I don't think take grand

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Speaker 2: minds the hotel when dudes be saying ship to me,

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Speaker 2: Like when I.

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Speaker 1: Walked in and you said something about your boyfriend, I

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Speaker 1: don't really believe in boyfriend whatever you.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So wait, you said you don't believe in boyfriend?

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Speaker 3: Yes you for me? No, it's not a thing.

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Speaker 2: Boyfriends is not a thing. So what is just the.

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Speaker 3: Concept of it? I mean I feel like like, like

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Speaker 3: do we have to stop here on a way to

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Speaker 3: the altar?

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Speaker 2: Oh? So you just believe in you love her.

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Speaker 3: If you love her, either marry her or Sarah free.

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Speaker 4: Oh why do you have to Why can't we test

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Speaker 4: the waters first?

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean, I mean, why do we have to

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Speaker 3: put these relationship handcuffs? Like you know how to swim? Right?

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Speaker 1: Oh, I don't have my relationship just like you ain't

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Speaker 1: got no ship.

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Speaker 3: Well, relationship with our handcuffs is a little boring. In

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Speaker 3: my personal opinion, I would say get handcuffs.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: I mean, okay, in the bedroom where you're talking about

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Speaker 2: just locking somebody down, and even that word I don't like,

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Speaker 2: Like I don't like the locking down to somebody.

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Speaker 1: I mean, for me, this is what I feel like

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Speaker 1: good prim and is mean like when I say no handcuffs,

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Speaker 1: like I don't want a relationship to feel like I

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Speaker 1: can never do anything again. Like my man just said

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Speaker 1: to me a few nights ago. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I said this on Horrible, but we were talking about

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Speaker 1: bachelor and butch red parties because I have a friend

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Speaker 1: of mine who's getting married, and he was like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not having a bachelor party. I'm like why, He's like,

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Speaker 1: what am I having some last fucking night of some shit?

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Speaker 1: I can't do without telling you. He was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm not in a relationship where I'm like gotta fucking

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Speaker 1: ham on my throat, Like I don't need a bachelor party.

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Speaker 1: I can live my life with you, So I'm not

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Speaker 1: doing that. Year. I was like, damn, dude, because I'm

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Speaker 1: having one if you think I'm not about the swat

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Speaker 1: away a penis.

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Speaker 2: But but I was gonna say bachelorette parties are different

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Speaker 2: than bachelor parties.

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Speaker 1: But I guess, like when he said that to me,

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Speaker 1: he's like, Yo, all of my friends that have talked

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Speaker 1: about bachelor parties need to like get this last moment.

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Speaker 1: I ain't going to jail. And I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: So I say that to say, I think when a

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Speaker 1: relationship has too many restrictions, that's what keeps people from commitment.

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Speaker 1: And so I don't like that commitment has a tie

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Speaker 1: to there's nothing else, or I can't have this other

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Speaker 1: experience or whatever. So that's why I'm very happy to

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Speaker 1: be in a relationship that's like that.

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Speaker 2: But but wait, are you you're monogamous though?

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Speaker 3: Correct?

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, Okay, So I think that that's the difference too,

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Speaker 2: Like the the constructor idea that you're locked down and

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Speaker 2: can't do anything else. When you have a non traditional,

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Speaker 2: non monogamous relationship, all of those like don't press the

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Speaker 2: red button, and if you press the red button, it's over.

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Speaker 2: Thing goes out the window because you know that you're

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Speaker 2: open to just communicate with your partner. A I kind

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Speaker 2: of want some of the pussy today. Are we going

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Speaker 2: to do it together?

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Speaker 1: Now? Do you think?

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Speaker 3: Do you think monogamous men are monogamous because they don't

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Speaker 3: want it, but they have it.

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Speaker 2: I don't think.

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Speaker 1: I think most people are monogamous because that makes them

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Speaker 1: feel safer soon Like No, I just mean like I

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Speaker 1: think monogamy makes you feel like you only want me.

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Speaker 1: That means that we're good. If you want someone else,

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Speaker 1: you must not love me enough.

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Speaker 3: That's a bit mediocre depressing, Like if that was the

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Speaker 3: advertisement I read for monogamy, I.

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Speaker 1: Wouldnt think about what happens when people get cheated on.

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Speaker 3: No, I think, I mean, I guess in my mind,

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Speaker 3: monogamy is not the it's not the requirement, it's the decision.

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Speaker 3: It's like yo, like, have you ever met a person

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Speaker 3: of abundance and you don't need nobody else? Like I'm

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Speaker 3: not monogamous because I have to be. It's like what

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Speaker 3: else could I need?

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Speaker 1: You know, it's the it's the desires. Doesn't don't mean

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Speaker 1: that like you don't need anyone else. I have a

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Speaker 1: best friend, but I got other friends. I can't.

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Speaker 3: I mean, but the connection you have with this non

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Speaker 3: familiar human transcends every other relationship, or in my belief

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Speaker 3: it does. And that's that's such a like the two

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Speaker 3: become one, you know, so now the one of us

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Speaker 3: might want to go do something, but like this is

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Speaker 3: this is the homie, like this is my heart now.

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Speaker 3: I think when people are in these like mids like

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Speaker 3: these mid tier, mid depth relationships, then it's like I'm

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Speaker 3: in this waiting room. That's like really, it's like damn,

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Speaker 3: I can't wait to get back to single because I

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Speaker 3: hate it in here.

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Speaker 2: I only hate that idea because as a woman who

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Speaker 2: doesn't want marriage, yeah I want a partner, I don't

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Speaker 2: want it to be viewed as a mid tier limbo

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Speaker 2: as relationship only because there's no end goal of marriage.

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Speaker 2: And so this idea that you're either single or you're married,

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Speaker 2: it leaves out so many of the people that don't

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Speaker 2: seek marriage or that piece of paper or to walk

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Speaker 2: down the aisle like you know.

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Speaker 4: Like we just got three different I know.

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Speaker 1: When you were talking, all I thought was, oh, that hurts,

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Speaker 1: because I don't feel mid tier just because of other

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Speaker 1: sexual desires. So like, for example, if anyone's watched Will

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Speaker 1: and Jada talk about each other or Red Table Talk

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Speaker 1: or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Love them.

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Speaker 1: Their love seems like there's no else I could touch it, right,

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Speaker 1: that doesn't seem mid tier. They negas right, So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I don't I think somebody.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, but it's not like how you

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Speaker 3: just said that.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, like they.

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Speaker 3: This podcast not too much on Will, because I love

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Speaker 3: you so Will.

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Speaker 2: In person, baby, I wanted to hop on that thing.

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Speaker 2: If Jada was in the room, I would have asked

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Speaker 2: her permission. Now that motherfucker got a little to hold

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Speaker 2: that palm, because you.

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Speaker 1: Know, no, no, no, no, he did. I'm playing y'all laughing.

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Speaker 4: He really sat up there during Bad Boys and said,

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Speaker 4: do you know what I do?

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Speaker 1: Mother?

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Speaker 2: No, I ain't even gonna hold you. I haven't been

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Speaker 2: in a room with a man with big dick energy

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Speaker 2: in a while. The way Will sat up there with

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Speaker 2: some big dicken.

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Speaker 1: He was like that don't mean I don't love my man.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't at the bad boy. You're like, whoa, whoa?

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Speaker 2: And I also thinks there is as is a what

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Speaker 2: you'll get the.

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Speaker 3: I mean I think, I think. I think the more

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Speaker 3: we you do more Jesus, Listen, he did honestly. No, no, no, I.

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Speaker 1: Mean less of the Sinny's nuts. Listen.

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Speaker 3: Well, this world is This world is a beautiful place, right,

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Speaker 3: But there's more than just re enforce here. Okay, now

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Speaker 3: we can start. We could start dating our demons and

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Speaker 3: dancing with him and taking them home and fucking them

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Speaker 3: and then calling them cousins and shoot and bail for him.

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Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying. I'm not like, how how

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Speaker 3: how slippery are we gonna go down this slope? If

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Speaker 3: you know what, everything's pretty much on the table. You

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Speaker 3: can be dudes, like, you know what, you should want

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Speaker 3: to desire another person, Like it's totally normal to desire

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Speaker 3: another person while you're so quote unquote madly in love.

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Speaker 3: Not only is it okay to desire them, but you

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Speaker 3: should also be in a space that's safe enough that

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Speaker 3: I can come to you with my feelings and you

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Speaker 3: should accept them and let me be happy.

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Speaker 2: So I like that. I like everything you said. I

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Speaker 2: know you're SI was like you were trying to be sarcastic,

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Speaker 2: trying to be sarcastic to me. To me, I hate

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Speaker 2: the limits and bounds that we place on ourselves, like

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Speaker 2: a we got one life to live now. Yes, I've

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Speaker 2: been here before, I know I have in another realm,

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna be here again. But to me, where I'm at,

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Speaker 2: where I know. I went to Mexico. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: swim with well sharks. I just did the south of France,

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Speaker 2: and I want to try all these different foods cuisines,

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Speaker 2: visit the world. I want to do as much as

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Speaker 2: humanly possible while I'm here, and I don't want to

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Speaker 2: be limited by the bounds of other motherfuckers.

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Speaker 3: Of peace in school. But it is not in the

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Speaker 3: tent commandments.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: God is not saying don't get an oxygen tank and

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Speaker 3: climb up Machu Pichu. He's not saying okay, He's just saying,

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Speaker 3: thou shall not still, thou shall not kill you know,

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Speaker 3: all the evils shall not cove it. LUs.

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Speaker 1: So I'm doing a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, phone marriage, we don't we don't fucked up a

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Speaker 2: lot of the things they say we should I think.

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Speaker 4: So, just to make it clear, I agree with you.

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Speaker 1: I I feel like I'm my house and household is

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Speaker 1: not this whole willy nilly like it's every day type thing.

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Speaker 1: But I do believe in moments, right, yes, and so

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Speaker 1: I'm thirty three years old. You look great, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Fortunately he already happened. He can't. He's in my life.

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Speaker 1: I haven't experienced it all yet.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 1: There really is not to sound like New York bitch,

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Speaker 1: there aren't many moments where I am feeling like I'm

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Speaker 1: just craving some of them, Like, that's not it. However,

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Speaker 1: what if I just happen to be with my homegirls,

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Speaker 1: we take a trip to Paris, right well, just in

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Speaker 1: France and there's some really cute French guy that's flirting

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Speaker 1: with me on the dance floor or American fun moment. Yes,

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Speaker 1: in my life, that just was something that I could do. Yes.

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Speaker 1: So many people start to resent their partner because they

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Speaker 1: can't enjoy a moment in time, and that to me work, huh,

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Speaker 1: I self work.

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Speaker 3: I mean, you know, like when you hang around with

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Speaker 3: people with mud on their hands, they're going to get

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Speaker 3: it on your shirt, so you can't do nothing about it.

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Speaker 3: But you should have seen that type of person before

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Speaker 3: it got to that thing. Like that's different. Like love

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Speaker 3: is patient, love is kind, love is free?

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Speaker 1: But why is If love is free, then why is

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Speaker 1: it jeopardized? If I just made out with some French kindidance?

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Speaker 3: But listen, there's a moment, right, and then it's like okay,

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Speaker 3: like there's also decorum, there's also integrity, there's also honored

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Speaker 3: But what.

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Speaker 1: But how is me having that moment of freedom? And

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Speaker 1: I would even just boil it down to well, the

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Speaker 1: question fun either jeopardize or invalidate or or make me

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Speaker 1: someone who's not loyal anybody?

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Speaker 3: If you want me no, kiss them?

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Speaker 1: I the word kiss. But even if if it was sex, right,

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Speaker 1: why does that take away what I have with this person?

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Speaker 4: How does it then tarnish.

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Speaker 2: All the cheating is Listening, what I delt with that

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Speaker 2: cheating is different.

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Speaker 1: I'll tell you why, explain that before. Cheating is a

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Speaker 1: very deceitful thing because we made a commitment and a

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Speaker 1: promise to each other. Cheating to me is a very

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Speaker 1: bottom tier thing. Okay, you're lying, You're you had to

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Speaker 1: go out of your way to fucking lie to me

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Speaker 1: to figure out how to tell me you fell asleep

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Speaker 1: to do all this other ship.

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Speaker 2: Now you really it's the lying then, not the cheating

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Speaker 2: that is the problem of it.

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Speaker 1: Cheating requires a lie, Cheating requires deception.

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Speaker 2: Or if you were in France, they kiss this French guy,

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Speaker 2: it's only not cheating because you told your partner.

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Speaker 1: Do you tell them before or after? Well, I'm not

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Speaker 1: talking about these specific rules. I'm just saying in non monogamy, right,

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Speaker 1: these things can happen right or whatever relationship you have,

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Speaker 1: whatever those rules are, I'm just saying, specific to cheating,

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Speaker 1: I understand how that's a moral that's lying to me.

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Speaker 1: It's a complete turn off because.

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Speaker 3: Even a deeper level, if we don't, if we're not,

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Speaker 3: if we're not going to go to black and white,

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Speaker 3: like what what in your in your inside could be fulfilled?

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Speaker 3: But just the presence of a foreign guy in a

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Speaker 3: foreign place, that simple, simple of an occurrence could lead

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Speaker 3: to something as passionate, as spiritual as just swapping a

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Speaker 3: flesh in any capacity.

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Speaker 4: So I don't think that sex is always spiritual with

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Speaker 4: other people.

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Speaker 1: It is my.

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Speaker 2: Part I can't talk about.

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Speaker 1: So I have sex. I've had sex with women and

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Speaker 1: men that I don't really care about. I don't even

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Speaker 1: remember the name I made great chemistry. I did that, However,

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Speaker 1: if I want to scratch.

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Speaker 3: It, Okay, I haven't always been like that. I always been.

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Speaker 1: Why am I the person that isn't healed, isn't forward,

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Speaker 1: isn't a good woman? If I do that?

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Speaker 3: Well, well no, see this is not judge. Mathis over here, right,

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Speaker 3: So don't let my like retort of you know, the

295
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Speaker 3: things that you say be just like the authority, right.

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Speaker 3: I just mean, like I only believe and that that's

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Speaker 3: sort of love that in composes everything that I desire

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Speaker 3: at that present time. And I feel so fulfilled, so intrigued,

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Speaker 3: so you know, disinterested in everybody else that I'm really

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Speaker 3: like locked in this human And it's not predicated. It's

301
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:18,359
Speaker 3: not predicated on beauty, it's not predicated on sexual chemistry.

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Speaker 3: It's just my attachment. It's like my feeling that this

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Speaker 3: person just their presence as value to my life and

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Speaker 3: when I get when I get in. And now, some

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00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,120
Speaker 3: of these bubbles with women last six weeks, some of

306
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Speaker 3: them last six months. I had won that last like

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Speaker 3: three and a half years. But I have never been

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Speaker 3: a cheater because I only I only met with women

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Speaker 3: and only agreed to monogamy in my mind because I

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Speaker 3: was fulfilled and I didn't want nothing else.

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Speaker 2: So I wanted to ask you that question though, because

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Speaker 2: you said some can last six days, six weeks, three years, whatever.

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Speaker 2: But so are you saying that once you are no

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Speaker 2: longer fulfilled, that relationship is out so that you don't

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Speaker 2: cheat everybody, thinking that's what I was.

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Speaker 1: Feel me so that next.

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Speaker 3: Bitch, you know, I take my shoes off so I

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Speaker 3: can be comfortable enough to be vulnerable. Okay, I'll be

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Speaker 3: grounded myself.

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Speaker 1: No, for real, after the six months or even three

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Speaker 1: and a half yearn after the three that's a good commitment.

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Speaker 1: That's when six months, I feel like there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of our average kind of dating. Three and a half years,

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Speaker 1: at what point is it something else, someone else, or

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Speaker 1: something starts lacking that you didn't see before? Because to me,

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Speaker 1: it's like I don't want to get on a high

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Speaker 1: horse and say I made this huge commitment to somebody,

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Speaker 1: then I'm able to change my.

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Speaker 3: Mind, I think. For I think having emotional intelligence right

330
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Speaker 3: lets me know when the woman that I'm dealing with personally,

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Speaker 3: don't like me no more. You know what when they

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00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:05,400
Speaker 3: start sucking a teeth, start complaining, Like when I meet

333
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:09,280
Speaker 3: a woman, I'm probably so mesmerized by her visually that

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00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,560
Speaker 3: I come up and make some ridiculous sort of thing,

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00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:13,800
Speaker 3: like you know, my first pickup line was cutting to

336
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:15,640
Speaker 3: the chase. It's like, how, my name is Mike, I'm

337
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,000
Speaker 3: thirty one years old, I don't have no kids, I'm

338
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,920
Speaker 3: an author, I'm a publisher. Can I take you to dinner?

339
00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:23,480
Speaker 3: And then sometimes I'd be like I got a good

340
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:24,840
Speaker 3: credit score and no felonies, etc.

341
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Speaker 1: Etc.

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00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,560
Speaker 3: Right, and then it'd be like yes, kind of get

343
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,200
Speaker 3: to the yes, and then from that day every day

344
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,240
Speaker 3: after that, I'm on you, and it's like, you know,

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Speaker 3: I guess I was love bombing. My therapist would say

346
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,280
Speaker 3: I was love bombing before love bombing existed. But it's

347
00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,320
Speaker 3: only a bomb if it actually explodes and if people die.

348
00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,160
Speaker 3: If not, I'm just a hundred from the start, and

349
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:49,200
Speaker 3: I'm one hundred until a moment, right. I don't like

350
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,440
Speaker 3: to be disappointed. I tell people when I meet them,

351
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,600
Speaker 3: I say I don't. I have problems of forgiveness that

352
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:00,360
Speaker 3: are deeper than this. You like, I just met you,

353
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:03,360
Speaker 3: but I've already struggled with forgiveness and I'm working on that.

354
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 3: So please don't put me in a position where I

355
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 3: might have to forgive you, because I'm not sure regardless

356
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:13,359
Speaker 3: of how much fun we have, if when that moment comes,

357
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Speaker 3: I'll be able to do it.

358
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Speaker 1: So you start to switch up, you're saying.

359
00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,760
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no no. I mean, things will go through,

360
00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 3: something happened, well, things go good, and sometimes it's like,

361
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,480
Speaker 3: you know, it's fun, it's new, it's fresh, it's clean,

362
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:25,520
Speaker 3: and then after a while, like you know how when

363
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,000
Speaker 3: you live with a person, it's like, damn, it's not

364
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,520
Speaker 3: the nigga I used to just date, right, I mean,

365
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,880
Speaker 3: and then the wax wears off of people, right, myself included.

366
00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,800
Speaker 2: But that's with everyone. I think the problem with that

367
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,960
Speaker 2: too is something you just said is I don't like

368
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,400
Speaker 2: to be disappointed by people and.

369
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,520
Speaker 3: Close to me, right, but when the ways just messed

370
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,640
Speaker 3: up my order, that's right.

371
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,960
Speaker 2: But regardless, I think that that's what a lot of

372
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:49,160
Speaker 2: us do in dating or in finding partnership. We literally

373
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,320
Speaker 2: go into something with these high level of expectations of

374
00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:55,440
Speaker 2: a person and in partnership and and what we want.

375
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,280
Speaker 2: We have all these things and we want them, we

376
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:00,720
Speaker 2: want all the boxes ticks off, However, wempletely remove the

377
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 2: fact that this person is human. Nigga's gonna fuck up,

378
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:06,720
Speaker 2: people are gonna suck up. Not everyone's gonna be I also.

379
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:11,080
Speaker 1: Think, just to be a little hotepy, but I actually

380
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:15,840
Speaker 1: think forgiveness is like the foundation anal of being able

381
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,240
Speaker 1: to be loyal. So you're saying, like, don't put me

382
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:19,400
Speaker 1: in a position to like.

383
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 3: Now when I say I have to forgive you, it's

384
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,760
Speaker 3: not because when you actually just text you and you

385
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 3: probably had a conversation on a Wednesday while you were

386
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 3: at the hairdresser, right when I say forgive me, bro,

387
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:31,119
Speaker 3: it's like you're doing so.

388
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,480
Speaker 1: But that's the thing though, and I think you see

389
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,879
Speaker 1: this is how much monogamy. Wait, the fact that that

390
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,840
Speaker 1: came out of your mouth for me, I don't even think.

391
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,920
Speaker 1: And maybe because that's not the foundation of the loyalty

392
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,919
Speaker 1: in my relationship. Sure, my shit is like, were you

393
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,119
Speaker 1: not showing up for me? Were you not keeping me focused?

394
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,119
Speaker 1: I've too seen your parents. Were you not keeping up

395
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 1: with my mama, making sure we're good our family, like,

396
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,560
Speaker 1: this is what was boyfriend here? You got to guess?

397
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:06,280
Speaker 1: I think I'll say this. My boyfriend has only had

398
00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:10,600
Speaker 1: one girlfriend before me, right, so he really doesn't really

399
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 1: look at it like I've had a bunch of boyfriends.

400
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:16,520
Speaker 2: I need to say that if the wind blows anyway,

401
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,400
Speaker 2: you're her boyfriend.

402
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:25,760
Speaker 1: I realize. Literally, I used to say, boyfriend is someone

403
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,680
Speaker 1: who three months, let's be exclusive, your my boyfriend. I'm

404
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 1: not in a relationship. It was like, no, we basically exclusive, Like,

405
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 1: let's just only date each other seriously to see if

406
00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 1: this is it. And now I'm starting to see that

407
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 1: boyfriend can be deeper than that. And while you're saying,

408
00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 1: do we need a pit stop before marriage? Yeah? Are

409
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 1: you good at this? Right now? Are you good at

410
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,920
Speaker 1: being my boyfriend? Now? Before I make a lie?

411
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,760
Speaker 3: Since when did meet and other humans become a talent show?

412
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:57,040
Speaker 1: Oh? What do you mean I mean when I said exclusive?

413
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,360
Speaker 2: No? Are you good at this? He wants to when

414
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:01,720
Speaker 2: did dating?

415
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 3: I think as a man, I think as another human

416
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 3: that encounters you. I'm just supposed to witness your movie.

417
00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 3: You feel me? I think when we interact with each other,

418
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:14,000
Speaker 3: it's just like flashes of light that that hit each other.

419
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:18,359
Speaker 3: Like I'm not. I'm not supposed to come here ready

420
00:20:18,359 --> 00:20:22,080
Speaker 3: to serve or audition in all of my tricks. You're

421
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:23,800
Speaker 3: supposed to watch me and my manhood.

422
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 2: I was just thinking, you do men not expect women

423
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 2: to do exactly that, though, But I mean I don't.

424
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 4: I was before I walked in this door. I'm like,

425
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:32,520
Speaker 4: I'm showing up too.

426
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 1: Well.

427
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I don't mean exchanging service. What I mean

428
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,919
Speaker 3: is like, I don't think I need to demonstrate my

429
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 3: capabilities to you directly for you to realize if I

430
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 3: have them or not.

431
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 1: I do, Yes, yes, yes you do.

432
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,920
Speaker 2: I'm not about that you're going to be a good father, Yeah,

433
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:52,880
Speaker 2: You're going to be a good partner or yeah No, No, I.

434
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 1: Need to see it like you though.

435
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:59,040
Speaker 3: You like the car that I have, the house that

436
00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 3: I have, the job that I have, the relationships with

437
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 3: my family and my friends in my community that I

438
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:07,360
Speaker 3: already have could be No, I mean, I just mean,

439
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,000
Speaker 3: like all of these things matter, right, Okay? Where is

440
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:12,399
Speaker 3: my box spring in relation to my bed? Is it

441
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,480
Speaker 3: on the floor? Does it have like a frame around it?

442
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 3: Do I have hands hooels and disimpacting? Do I have bleach.

443
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying.

444
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 2: There are other things to consider.

445
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:24,359
Speaker 3: But there's a myriad of things to consider. But how

446
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,840
Speaker 3: the way those things do I have to demonstrate? No,

447
00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,720
Speaker 3: do I have to demonstrate to your benefit for you

448
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 3: to prove that I have those capabilities to me?

449
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,879
Speaker 2: To me, here's the thing. The way you show up

450
00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 2: with your family is one way. The way you show

451
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:38,119
Speaker 2: up at work is another. The way you maintain your

452
00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 2: household is another. However, the way that men show up

453
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:44,640
Speaker 2: in relationships and how they treat a woman is going

454
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 2: to be different than how they show up with their

455
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:51,280
Speaker 2: homeboys and every which way in their lives. A talent show,

456
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 2: and you know what, it was testing me too.

457
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 3: So you swallowing before the ring.

458
00:21:56,920 --> 00:21:59,679
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm swallowing. I'm looking ass, I'm sucking balls I'm

459
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,880
Speaker 2: doing that's crazy. But let me just say this too.

460
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 2: When you mentioned like a test before marriage.

461
00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 1: Yes, I've heard one other person to say this besides him,

462
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:10,800
Speaker 1: but I was kind of feeling like, you know, when

463
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,719
Speaker 1: you're you know, and women, we all go through this.

464
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 1: Are we together not together yet? And do he need

465
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:18,680
Speaker 1: to ask me or whatever? Right? And after commitment he said,

466
00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 1: if you thinks to me, like I really needed to

467
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 1: see all these emotions out of you anger, upset, not

468
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,680
Speaker 1: just you angry? Are anger at me? Yeah? Well, who

469
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 1: the fuck are you when you're mad? When you're happy, like.

470
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:29,280
Speaker 2: When you're drunk?

471
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 1: And I don't think you can figure that out that quick.

472
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 1: You really got to see phases. I agree, Yes, you

473
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, but.

474
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 3: Do I have to own you during these phases? Or

475
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,399
Speaker 3: can I just witness you wow in these moments? Like

476
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,720
Speaker 3: why does there like a lot of people say when

477
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 3: I be like Mike, I mean they be like Mike,

478
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,760
Speaker 3: how can I know if he's a husband material if

479
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,080
Speaker 3: he's not my boyfriend? I just mean, like your ownership

480
00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 3: to each other in terms of like your ability to

481
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:55,520
Speaker 3: freely like interact with other humors. I feel like a

482
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,199
Speaker 3: lot of people are gonna be like you know, in

483
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,600
Speaker 3: their late thirties early forties, and then to start adding

484
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,440
Speaker 3: up their boyfriends now hopefully it.

485
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:03,160
Speaker 2: Is they had once.

486
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,680
Speaker 1: I'm good, Okay, so not for some people.

487
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,359
Speaker 3: Some people they get to this point right. And I

488
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:10,199
Speaker 3: started to notice it, Like when I was in my

489
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 3: mid thirties and I was dating women who were also

490
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:17,480
Speaker 3: in their mid thirties, but their intentions kind of changed.

491
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 3: It's like, Mike, I want you to come in and

492
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,200
Speaker 3: I want you to prove to me that your husband

493
00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 3: material because I'm thirty six. I'm thirty seven, I got

494
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,000
Speaker 3: great hair on my kuchi, and I'm ready to settle down.

495
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,600
Speaker 3: My periods ain't coming like how they're supposed to.

496
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,160
Speaker 2: My mom is on.

497
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 3: Some shit, like cause she's seventy and she don't know

498
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 3: if she gonna see grandkids. So no, I'm not trying

499
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,240
Speaker 3: to go to turks with you. I'm trying to sit

500
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 3: down and do like couples counseling. I'm like, I just

501
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:43,159
Speaker 3: met you four months ago. I don't even know what

502
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:45,399
Speaker 3: you like in the wintertime because we only you know

503
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 3: what I'm saying.

504
00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,400
Speaker 1: Get that out. So to your point, you just said

505
00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 1: something about why can't we mingle a date with other

506
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,560
Speaker 1: people or whatever it's like, But then to put the

507
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,360
Speaker 1: height of as if that was very casual, to put

508
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 1: the height of loyalty. Then when you're in a committed relationship,

509
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:02,879
Speaker 1: like no, I think mingling and doing all that stuff

510
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 1: means you're not focusing and pouring into me, because at

511
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:07,840
Speaker 1: the end of the day, most we've.

512
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,879
Speaker 3: Ever been to college. Excuse me, have you ever been

513
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:10,439
Speaker 3: to college?

514
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:10,879
Speaker 1: Yes?

515
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 3: Have you ever taken more than one semester at a

516
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,160
Speaker 3: time because you have to come home and study math

517
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,959
Speaker 3: and religion and social studies and everything.

518
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 1: I don't think I class.

519
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 3: I mean, but what I'm saying is I think the

520
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 3: human brain is capable of focusing on two things. You

521
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 3: have a two bubble gum and walk at the same time,

522
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 3: all of these, all of these attributes and things. A

523
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 3: lot of times we don't.

524
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: If you're focusing on two things at the same.

525
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:37,680
Speaker 3: Time, how purposeful can you be?

526
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: How intentional are you being? If you're focusing on those

527
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,200
Speaker 1: things at the same time. I'm not looking at Mandy

528
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:44,680
Speaker 1: when I'm talking, so if I took my eyes off

529
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 1: of you, that would mean I'm not that interested or

530
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 1: serious about a conversation. I'm very intentional when I do things.

531
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,679
Speaker 1: I pour into people when I'm talking to them, speaking

532
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: to them. If my attention diverts, I'm out of it.

533
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,760
Speaker 3: So it's not like both of these girls are sitting

534
00:24:57,760 --> 00:24:59,679
Speaker 3: on my couch at the same time. All I mean

535
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 3: to say is like, there there are the same way

536
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,520
Speaker 3: a woman can be a mother, a student and an

537
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 3: employee in a day. Is the same way that I

538
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,359
Speaker 3: could go to lunch with you and have a forty

539
00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 3: five minute phone call with Holo.

540
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 2: Hold on, I want to get to the Manila ship.

541
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 2: But you know what this sounds like, Mike, You might

542
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:16,879
Speaker 2: not be as monogamous as you motherfucking thing because you

543
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 2: are here one.

544
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 1: Juggle different you selling is given it. You don't want

545
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 1: to juggle b I already let me know that you

546
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 1: had a little home that you is alone after.

547
00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 3: That hotel.

548
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 2: I want to get into our vanilla, share our vanilliha

549
00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 2: It sex in the news, and we talked about cohabitating,

550
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 2: living with other people just a little bit. And there

551
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 2: is a woman on a Reddit thread who is letting

552
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,680
Speaker 2: everyone know that she is divorcing her husband because he

553
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 2: screws jar lids on two tights. Now, I want to

554
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 2: get into this just a little bit because within the

555
00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,639
Speaker 2: reddit thread people felt as though he was doing it

556
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 2: in ten and that's the reason why she wants to

557
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 2: divorce him. But also she feels like, am I the

558
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:10,400
Speaker 2: asshole because I'm allowing this little minute thing to make

559
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,920
Speaker 2: me want to divorce my husband. So sometimes I literally

560
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 2: feel insane for being so upset over jarred Lin's It's

561
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,520
Speaker 2: been a recurring cycle over the past five years, and

562
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,680
Speaker 2: it's just the thing that would escalate until a major

563
00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 2: mountdown and freak out, screaming frustration, seemingly craze what happened

564
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 2: just because I couldn't open a lid. Then it would

565
00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 2: get a little better for a while, then it would

566
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 2: slowly become an issue again, just getting worse and worse

567
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 2: until I reached the breaking point, she said five.

568
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 1: Years, because you know, when that little shit, I feel like.

569
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 2: It's something else. I feel like it gotta be something else.

570
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:42,920
Speaker 2: I feel like the dick she's getting on this side

571
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,280
Speaker 2: is something else. Do you think that's what it is?

572
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:46,040
Speaker 1: Okay?

573
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 2: So I wanted to ask that in terms of being

574
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 2: someone for six weeks, six months, three years, or in

575
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,080
Speaker 2: any of your past relationships, has there, at any point

576
00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 2: over time or even in the beginning, been something so

577
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 2: minute about her and that you're like, I can't be

578
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 2: with this person because they do this little thing and

579
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:06,080
Speaker 2: it bothers me.

580
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 1: So fucking much.

581
00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 2: Like I'm not gonna lie I started dating a guy

582
00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 2: or not dating y'all know, I just be fucking these thinkers.

583
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 2: But one guy would come over. What I mean, I

584
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 2: dated the shut up. Anyways, there was one guy that

585
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,640
Speaker 2: would come over and never put the fucking seat down.

586
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 2: Oh I hate that bitch, I literally, and then I

587
00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 2: had to start talking to him like he was my child.

588
00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:26,600
Speaker 2: First off, this is my house. This is the house

589
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 2: of a woman. You going to use the bathroom and

590
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 2: leaving the toilet seat up. One time after we got

591
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,119
Speaker 2: done fucking went to the bathroom and just went to

592
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:36,520
Speaker 2: sit down on my normal fucking seat and almost fell

593
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 2: into it. That was the last straw because he didn't

594
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,160
Speaker 2: put the fucking seat down. Now, the dick was good,

595
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:43,600
Speaker 2: but literally, him not putting the seat down in my

596
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 2: apartment was like, I ain't fucking with this, Niga nomore, because.

597
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 4: I already told I really feel like that's no home training.

598
00:27:49,520 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 3: Is that?

599
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:50,880
Speaker 2: Is that what it is?

600
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,879
Speaker 1: Cause that's how the man be chivalrous and lift the

601
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: seat up and keep it.

602
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 2: Up and keep it up right, Like now I'm judging here.

603
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 1: I feel like you don't do that. I feel like

604
00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:00,960
Speaker 1: I feel like you look like a man that pussed

605
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:03,400
Speaker 1: to see you put the seat down after you piss right,

606
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,919
Speaker 1: you're thinking about it, you don't you don't seem like

607
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 1: a guy that would leave it up in a woman's house.

608
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 1: You just don't.

609
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 3: I don't really go over women's houses, Okay, Okay. Two

610
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,720
Speaker 3: thousand and nine, I woke up. I went to a

611
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 3: women's house. I woke up and one of my good

612
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 3: friends was at the foot of the bed. I did

613
00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 3: not know it was his baby mom. And I've never

614
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 3: been back to that.

615
00:28:24,119 --> 00:28:26,040
Speaker 2: Wasn't a good friend. If you ain't know whose baby

616
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:26,640
Speaker 2: mama was.

617
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 3: Well no, I mean, but it was a different sort

618
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,680
Speaker 3: of thing, like I don't be checking for you who

619
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 3: your baby mom is, you know, and niggas hiby baby

620
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,359
Speaker 3: mom talk about that and I am saying and I'm not.

621
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 3: I'm not. I spent like a hundred days he ever done,

622
00:28:41,280 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 3: no story, had the son, he had his son with.

623
00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 3: It was really bad. I seen her in the club.

624
00:28:46,600 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 3: I ain't see her in like four or five years, right,

625
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 3: And I'm like, damn, Like I don't normally go home,

626
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,000
Speaker 3: but I'll go home with you because I've been trying

627
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 3: to get at you for years now.

628
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:57,360
Speaker 1: So we go home and how you been trying to

629
00:28:57,360 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 1: get her for years?

630
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 3: Well, like it's the line outside.

631
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: Uh.

632
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,480
Speaker 3: So I get to you when I get to you.

633
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 3: But I finally got to her, and then I was like,

634
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:08,200
Speaker 3: you know, I'm.

635
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: Is this l A.

636
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 2: No, this is Philly?

637
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: This is that is Wait?

638
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 2: Did this happen in l A?

639
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:15,239
Speaker 3: No?

640
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: This was this was Philly?

641
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 2: And wait he just said, hey, Mike, like, what was

642
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,240
Speaker 2: the interaction.

643
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:23,240
Speaker 3: With damn bro?

644
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 2: For real?

645
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 3: That's crazy?

646
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,280
Speaker 4: Was it because she got some dick last night? Or

647
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 4: was it because it was yours?

648
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 1: This is mix?

649
00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 3: And then the kid was there.

650
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,400
Speaker 1: The kid was there, like, wait, the kid and the

651
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 1: kid was with the baby daddy.

652
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,560
Speaker 3: The kid was with the baby daddy. She was so

653
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:43,080
Speaker 3: fried that she didn't even remember that young boy was

654
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 3: coming home the next day or that her baby father

655
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 3: even had keys. She was just so oh my god,

656
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 3: my this is and she actually it did happen to la.

657
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,640
Speaker 3: I ain't gonna put that on Philly.

658
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 1: You saying this? Tell me, I don't remember what show

659
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: he was watching another night? Was some crazy baby mama

660
00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,320
Speaker 1: should have it? And I looked at this nigga, you

661
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,000
Speaker 1: would get mad about something my motherfucker can't do. I'm

662
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: looking at him, Yeah, putting the seat shoes. Would motherfucking

663
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 1: leave me with a baby, bitch, he was like God,

664
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:13,000
Speaker 1: I was like, I never gonna have this shit happened

665
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 1: to me. Hell no, only one break. I'm having this medio.

666
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,479
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something, baby mama, baby daddy drama.

667
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:21,120
Speaker 1: I wish it on nobody.

668
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 3: Yo. This is my last girlfriend September last year. I

669
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 3: was in love. She was beautiful. I feel like the

670
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 3: baby father just wasn't going for it. He was one

671
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 3: of them. Over my dead body. Niggas.

672
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 4: Oh what's your sign?

673
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 3: Dollars?

674
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 2: We're not gonna do that.

675
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:39,640
Speaker 1: I know.

676
00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:41,240
Speaker 2: That's why said dollar sign.

677
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 1: If I if my emotions are striking her, you're if

678
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 1: you not a pcey email nigga?

679
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,560
Speaker 3: What are you you want to show? I'm gonna show

680
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 3: you my coach star for ten dollars.

681
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,400
Speaker 4: I don't go to tuck about the other ones. What's

682
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 4: the main? What's your birthday?

683
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 3: I'm gonna scorpio?

684
00:30:56,120 --> 00:30:58,240
Speaker 1: Oh your water signed? Okay water?

685
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,240
Speaker 2: Now that's what we're doing. I don't know with at me.

686
00:31:00,760 --> 00:31:05,080
Speaker 1: Scorpios are from what I've heard. Obviously we all know

687
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 1: their amazing lovers. They also are very thank you. They

688
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:13,320
Speaker 1: kind of like, well, they could be considered deceitful or

689
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: guarded because they they don't really show.

690
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,040
Speaker 2: Who they are, that's given gem.

691
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 1: But the water means they pour out so many.

692
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 2: I'm a river, you know what. I Am not playing

693
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 2: they go way used to. So I said the toilet

694
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:28,560
Speaker 2: seate real quick. Is there anything that both of you

695
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 2: feel like it's so small that you wouldn't continue dating

696
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 2: somebody if they did?

697
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 1: I was going to agree with you that one. What's

698
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 1: yours with women? No, I think it's hygiene, hygiene that

699
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:38,560
Speaker 1: that's not small.

700
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 2: That is actually hygiene, that is a part of hygiene.

701
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,640
Speaker 3: See, I'd be like, oh de with it. Like I

702
00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 3: think a lot of my early loves were like super

703
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 3: super neat, you know, like like they really loved themselves

704
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 3: and they was when they was young girls.

705
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 1: So now it's like, damn, bro.

706
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 2: You think lack of hygiene is a lack of a

707
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 2: woman's security or love of herself? Yeah, or just or

708
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:02,239
Speaker 2: just maybe not?

709
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 4: No, I think I think people that love themselves with

710
00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:07,400
Speaker 4: it depends.

711
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 3: On the age an age, the age like you know,

712
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,840
Speaker 3: like it's a lot of young girls that don't be showered.

713
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 3: Like you can see him at a day party, then

714
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 3: you can see him at the bar around half I

715
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 3: mean you can't.

716
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 1: I'm joking for party, where are we going?

717
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 3: I ain't a little function out like you got. You

718
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 3: know what I'm saying. I can't see you at two

719
00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:34,000
Speaker 3: pm at the brunch at the same leg as the

720
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:37,800
Speaker 3: two am Hookah Johnny, and you will twelve hours since.

721
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 2: First off, I live in New York. Ain't nobody commuting

722
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:43,120
Speaker 2: from the boroughs back home back to the borough No,

723
00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:45,080
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I go Philly.

724
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: I'll say this when it comes to cleanliness and like

725
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: seeing if someone's showered, if they're kept up. I've spent

726
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 1: time with friends, man, with anybody, and I've kind of

727
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 1: noticed the showering habits and I don't want to refresh. Okay,

728
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: I noticed that. To me, summertime, outdoor, all day shit,

729
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 1: that don't count. But I do think that when you

730
00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:07,080
Speaker 1: don't make it a happen. I even notice teeth brushing

731
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 1: with men or people that are visiting. But I offer

732
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,720
Speaker 1: you a toothbrush and you ain't using it just because

733
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: you stay the night, even homegirls on the couch, I'm like, girl,

734
00:33:14,720 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: that's right there, you ain't and I have the good

735
00:33:16,280 --> 00:33:17,880
Speaker 1: ship the Marvin's toothpaste.

736
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I don't want to go deep dive on shower, right,

737
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 3: it's really about the whole aesthetic. It's like, how do

738
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,280
Speaker 3: you lotion regularly? Like what's your morning routine? Does it

739
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:30,760
Speaker 3: involve a toothbrush and mouthwash? Damn, you got the kills

740
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 3: for the face. Like that's excellent.

741
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 1: You know who don't be showering that much? I believe

742
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:37,480
Speaker 1: it the white one of ours?

743
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,880
Speaker 2: Who's one of ours? The waste speed girls don't do that.

744
00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 2: Don't talk about the wastebeed girls do.

745
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 1: Not do that. I don't know.

746
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 2: Youboty, get on the instant where everybody know.

747
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:48,560
Speaker 1: That's my type of nigga.

748
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,360
Speaker 4: And I like them girls, the waste speed guys.

749
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,320
Speaker 1: I'm saying, like the girls and the guys going in

750
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:55,960
Speaker 1: the hind that they're kind of saying, right, the waste

751
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,160
Speaker 1: speed girls. I don't know if it's because everybody using

752
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 1: deodamant that isn't necessarily store bought, give it up, get

753
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:07,400
Speaker 1: the cancer them girl. I go to a little black part.

754
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,360
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. The essentials are not ascension,

755
00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,719
Speaker 1: those oils ain't doing it, and some of them been

756
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,799
Speaker 1: a little funky. I think we need to go with

757
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: the girl who's slabbing it off.

758
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:20,920
Speaker 2: Do you also think maybe it's they're hairy and like

759
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 2: they don't shave in the same places like the under

760
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 2: arms be under They may.

761
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: Be too listen to this podcast, but one of you

762
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:31,879
Speaker 1: bit just in here. No, no, no, because we've had

763
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 1: some people be like, oh, like you guys talk about

764
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: girl shall put that ship on La Merk Park in

765
00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 1: l a ship bro just buy the shade, butter, don't

766
00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: buy the deodor. And he's a liar.

767
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:49,480
Speaker 3: Please get the aluminum.

768
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: How do you want to live with you? Stop it?

769
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,800
Speaker 1: No bullshit, bullshit.

770
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 2: The hotel niggas wiping them bitches.

771
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,879
Speaker 1: Up and they like it. I don't lie.

772
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:04,320
Speaker 2: They aren't funky. It's given a flight.

773
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:08,080
Speaker 1: The cleanest w HOTEP that I know personally, it's probably Wolf.

774
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 1: Wolf works at w TFBDI Students New York and Mandy

775
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 1: and I work with him too. I ain't never smelled him. However,

776
00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:16,280
Speaker 1: the way he be talking seems like he don't seem.

777
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,359
Speaker 2: Like he don't watch that PC.

778
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 1: Don't he seem like one of them? He do? You know?

779
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:23,719
Speaker 3: If my sister called me and told me that her

780
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 3: husband still puts the jars on tight after five years,

781
00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:31,760
Speaker 3: I would tell her to leave this nigga. Really sorry

782
00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,799
Speaker 3: we had to circle back. Well, no, I mean I

783
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 3: just think. I just think that, like I'm a principal

784
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 3: sort of guy, Like the action could be like, you know,

785
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 3: Sharlotte was fucked, but it's the principle behind the action

786
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 3: that carries up, you know, so for five years.

787
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:51,799
Speaker 2: I don't care, especially she's expressed it.

788
00:35:51,880 --> 00:35:58,080
Speaker 3: If I've expressed it. It's your inability to change, you know,

789
00:35:57,760 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 3: or to listen.

790
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:00,879
Speaker 2: So I was just I was, well, I.

791
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,880
Speaker 3: Mean people like I hate the word listen because listen

792
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:06,760
Speaker 3: only involves your ear drums then, and you can't turn

793
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 3: off your sound, Like I hate when women when you

794
00:36:09,239 --> 00:36:10,799
Speaker 3: argue with a woman and she'd be like did you

795
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,040
Speaker 3: hear me? Like you're not even listening to me? Like

796
00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 3: I wish there was a button guy could create that

797
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 3: I could just mute circle.

798
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,520
Speaker 2: But then there's comprehension. I was just walking the park

799
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 2: with my homegirl, and there's conversations right now where we

800
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 2: think a proposal is coming. So we're literally talking about

801
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 2: what the ringo look like.

802
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 3: Right.

803
00:36:31,160 --> 00:36:34,600
Speaker 2: She don't want nothing gaudy, she said, all diamonds are

804
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:38,120
Speaker 2: blood diamonds, so she don't want a real like nothing like,

805
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:38,880
Speaker 2: no real diamond.

806
00:36:38,920 --> 00:36:40,440
Speaker 1: I'm good, but this she won't have been made by

807
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:46,200
Speaker 1: a ten year old kid. Give me, she said, literally?

808
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 2: Literally did?

809
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:47,440
Speaker 1: She said?

810
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,959
Speaker 2: I don't wear silver, saw, I want a gold band,

811
00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,759
Speaker 2: something with gold. She said, if he proposes, If he

812
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 2: proposes and it's not a gold band and it's a

813
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 2: real diamond, I know that he's doing this for him

814
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,720
Speaker 2: and not for me, and that can't be my husband.

815
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:05,320
Speaker 2: And I was just like, oh, I guess that's the

816
00:37:05,360 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 2: way to start.

817
00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 1: But no disrespect to your homegirl. Yeah, And I have

818
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:12,280
Speaker 1: a lot of thoughts about this, Okay, I am so

819
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 1: tired of the stipulations that women put on men with tiny,

820
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: minute things. I'm gonna tell you why. First of all,

821
00:37:21,719 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 1: when it comes to engagement rings. Right, I don't know

822
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,520
Speaker 1: if she verbade him said the words I want gold.

823
00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: All I wear is gold.

824
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:31,000
Speaker 2: She said she didn't want white gold. She knows that

825
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:31,919
Speaker 2: white gold looks silver.

826
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: Right. If a man knows I wear gold, My man

827
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,480
Speaker 1: knows I wear gold, but happened to get me a

828
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:41,960
Speaker 1: silver ring, right, just for context. Traditionally speaking, most wedding

829
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,880
Speaker 1: bands are white gold or silver. Yes, that man is

830
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,440
Speaker 1: probably in the store super excited talking to the clerk,

831
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:51,320
Speaker 1: figuring out what would work like. No, not the person

832
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 1: for you. You know what, this person made a choice

833
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:57,359
Speaker 1: to do this. You know what changeable. Hold on, bitch,

834
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 1: I'm triggered. You know what's pissed me off? On flowers? No,

835
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: it's not even flowers clothes.

836
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:05,319
Speaker 2: The birthday. The birthday fucking party. When I said I

837
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:08,280
Speaker 2: did not want a birthday party, I said I wanted

838
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,359
Speaker 2: to go to a spot, I did not want friends around.

839
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:12,360
Speaker 2: I did not want a group of people around. And

840
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 2: what did he do? Throw me a goddamn surprise party

841
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:18,080
Speaker 2: with all my friends. And literally I was pissed because

842
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,600
Speaker 2: I literally the one thing I said I didn't want

843
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:23,440
Speaker 2: you went and did, and he made it about well,

844
00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,759
Speaker 2: I've never done this for someone. He made it about him,

845
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 2: the effort that he put into it, the people he

846
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:29,759
Speaker 2: had to reach out to, and it was just like,

847
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,319
Speaker 2: fuck me. But that was literally a part of what

848
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,800
Speaker 2: I was saying, like to me in a relationship.

849
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:36,720
Speaker 1: This is really asshole though.

850
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:38,919
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, but so is somebody who goes

851
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,440
Speaker 3: in and does is not even wise enough to know

852
00:38:41,520 --> 00:38:43,799
Speaker 3: my shorty like goal. So I'm gonna get her the

853
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,319
Speaker 3: gold situation, get me what I want? Like this, this

854
00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:51,399
Speaker 3: whole ceremony of courting to ring to wedding is all

855
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,879
Speaker 3: about her movie. This is her movie, and I don't

856
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 3: care if I don't care if the only thing that

857
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,719
Speaker 3: she picked out about this thing was the color cut

858
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 3: and clarity of her ring.

859
00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 2: Wait you should get that, you guys said, all.

860
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 1: She does is wear a goal. She never verbade them,

861
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:07,880
Speaker 1: said she wanted to. No, no, no.

862
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,760
Speaker 2: This was a conversation that they've already had, so literally

863
00:39:10,840 --> 00:39:13,200
Speaker 2: we were having the conversation and she was like, bro,

864
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,560
Speaker 2: Like a part of me is like if my ring

865
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 2: is not gold. After we've had this conversation, I know

866
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,680
Speaker 2: the ring is for you and it's not for me.

867
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 2: You're not being considerate of what I want. You're not

868
00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 2: listening to the things I want, And are those characteristics

869
00:39:25,719 --> 00:39:28,359
Speaker 2: that I want in a party moving forward? Like that's

870
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,359
Speaker 2: the thing we talked about the as small as just

871
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 2: screwing the jars on. But to me, in a relationship,

872
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:38,160
Speaker 2: I would love to know that my partner is considerate

873
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 2: of the things that would make me upset that I

874
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,640
Speaker 2: don't like that I like that would make me happy

875
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,799
Speaker 2: and knowing that those were things in my last relationship

876
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,640
Speaker 2: that almost seemed intentional. I don't want anyone.

877
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:49,600
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a.

878
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:52,759
Speaker 2: Relationship with anyone who I feel like, intentionally now is

879
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 2: playing in my face or wants to hurt me. Those flowers,

880
00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 2: the birthday party, A lot of things I felt like

881
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 2: were intentional. I don't want to tell I don't want you.

882
00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:03,680
Speaker 1: I guess I don't want you. Gesture it's hard to

883
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:06,919
Speaker 1: go from Here's the thing with tightening a lid, right,

884
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 1: you know, it's something that annoys somebody. But nice gestures

885
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:13,080
Speaker 1: as parties, flowers, rings, those are difficult.

886
00:40:13,360 --> 00:40:15,360
Speaker 4: It's hard to talk about your ex because he's.

887
00:40:15,239 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 2: So trash, all these niggas is no no, no, really

888
00:40:19,400 --> 00:40:22,520
Speaker 2: no he is he is, and his fake cancer. But

889
00:40:24,040 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 2: oh we're gonna get into it because I just do

890
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 2: deep for a horrible decision.

891
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:27,960
Speaker 3: I want.

892
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 1: I don't know what you thought about you last night

893
00:40:29,520 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 1: because this girl was in tears crying about how a

894
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 1: man lied to her about a sickness, and I was

895
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,239
Speaker 1: I thought I was listening to It's awful, and I

896
00:40:36,280 --> 00:40:37,719
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to bring up another person

897
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:39,600
Speaker 1: right now, while his whole crime. But like these niggas.

898
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 1: These niggas is to say that, to say, when nice

899
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,000
Speaker 1: gestures are done and maybe someone didn't do it to

900
00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:47,400
Speaker 1: your liking, there's this thing of like, damn, well, what

901
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:49,120
Speaker 1: can I do to make you happy? You know what

902
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 1: I mean? Like the other person can feel like fuck,

903
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:53,840
Speaker 1: will I never match up more? It could seem so

904
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,839
Speaker 1: minute and selfish. So that's why I kind of bring

905
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:57,720
Speaker 1: up that other point.

906
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 2: By the way, I ain't never used the word my

907
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 2: new as much as we just did in the last

908
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,160
Speaker 2: ten minutes. I don't even use that in my regular thing,

909
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 2: like my regular cab Blarry minute. Anyway, before we get

910
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 2: into a horrible decision because I ran into my ex

911
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:15,719
Speaker 2: and I want to talk about soul ties and soulmates

912
00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,439
Speaker 2: and negative energy. I would love for you to give

913
00:41:18,520 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 2: a sex tip. This is our horror derve. Do you

914
00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:23,320
Speaker 2: have a sex tip that you can give to our audience?

915
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 3: Do I have a sex tip?

916
00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:26,280
Speaker 1: Yes?

917
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,719
Speaker 2: Two in the pink, all right, I'm not like two

918
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:33,280
Speaker 2: two in the pink, one in the stink. Oh okay,

919
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,319
Speaker 2: you've never heard them? Yeah, yeah, But I just don't

920
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:38,440
Speaker 2: know how you would do it. It's like this actually

921
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,000
Speaker 2: is thumb normally, Wait, that's what is it like? Right, Well,

922
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 2: I could never do that because both my thumbs be long,

923
00:41:44,600 --> 00:41:45,080
Speaker 2: so I don't.

924
00:41:45,120 --> 00:41:46,839
Speaker 1: I don't. I gotta shot my thumb in the butt

925
00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:48,560
Speaker 1: because it just feels like just enough GIRs.

926
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,160
Speaker 2: You know, it's crazy. I never put a thumb in

927
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 2: the butt. I know, like future said, I'm gonna put

928
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 2: my thumb and uh, but I don't even think I've

929
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 2: had a thumb in my butt. If you been niggas

930
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,879
Speaker 2: over the thought I had it. So niggas put thumbs

931
00:41:58,880 --> 00:41:59,960
Speaker 2: in the bus, but I don't be putting.

932
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,680
Speaker 4: They put them on the bus because it's easy with

933
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 4: the grip.

934
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 2: Oh and I don't be gripping. Okay, I don't be

935
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:07,760
Speaker 2: gripping niggas. I put these in the butt. Like even

936
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 2: it really actually starts with the middle finger. I do

937
00:42:10,360 --> 00:42:14,480
Speaker 2: middle finger in the butt, and then when it's all consensual,

938
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:18,520
Speaker 2: it is all consensual. But because oftentimes in the air,

939
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:21,880
Speaker 2: their legs are in the air, I'm right here, so

940
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:24,319
Speaker 2: legs are in the air, my head is on their dick,

941
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:27,880
Speaker 2: and now I'm like probably going down below. This is

942
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 2: the longest finger and so to me, that's the one

943
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 2: that the middle finger goes in first, and then I

944
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 2: get that.

945
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 1: Hold on.

946
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:37,839
Speaker 3: I'm not lying.

947
00:42:37,880 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm telling you, I just hold on. No, no, no, both,

948
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:43,040
Speaker 1: But I.

949
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 2: Gotta make it way if we ain't gotten a love nearby.

950
00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:49,359
Speaker 2: So I I wait it up. I waited up, make

951
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 2: sure that the buddle hole opening, get it in, and

952
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:55,160
Speaker 2: then I will probably really bring it back out and

953
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 2: spit on both fingers.

954
00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:57,839
Speaker 1: And they try to fit two figures in there.

955
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you know do too. Anyway, let's get into

956
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,960
Speaker 2: the horrible decision because I want to share this story

957
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:15,239
Speaker 2: with y'all because the time came. Uh Vinnie asked you.

958
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:18,600
Speaker 1: About it when we were in France, and I.

959
00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:24,400
Speaker 2: Like, demons exists with these niggas. So went to the

960
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 2: layout when I got back from Okac, and as y'all know,

961
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:33,480
Speaker 2: it has been now May third, twenty twenty three is

962
00:43:33,520 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 2: when I broke up with this nigga. So it has

963
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 2: been now a year and two months. You know why

964
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:40,759
Speaker 2: I know because we went on Breakfast Club two days later.

965
00:43:41,160 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 2: That's the only reason why I know, and I talked

966
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,359
Speaker 2: about that nigga, and when he wrote that email month,

967
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:46,800
Speaker 2: he was like, you can even go on the breakfast

968
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 2: club and not talk about me cause you are you

969
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:49,879
Speaker 2: became color.

970
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:53,040
Speaker 1: You know, maybe if your goofy ass wasn't out hope.

971
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 3: The show.

972
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:56,480
Speaker 2: No, I would never bring anything.

973
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 1: Oh I'm not gonna lie to you, Andy. I love

974
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: to sit now right.

975
00:44:00,440 --> 00:44:05,960
Speaker 2: I would do a chance, no receipt and I got

976
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,120
Speaker 2: don't do that, oh bitch, and do I thought?

977
00:44:11,239 --> 00:44:12,960
Speaker 1: But I like you hold on.

978
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 2: So I'm at the layout and every for the listeners,

979
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 2: new or old, y'all know, this is my first real relationships.

980
00:44:20,080 --> 00:44:22,440
Speaker 2: So we were together for three years and when we

981
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,640
Speaker 2: broke up. Have not seen him since, have not run

982
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:27,799
Speaker 2: into him, have not been in the same space as him,

983
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,760
Speaker 2: thank god, until the layout. So I'm at the layout.

984
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 2: Mind you, he has not been there the last two

985
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 2: years I've gone. So this is not a place at all.

986
00:44:36,520 --> 00:44:39,439
Speaker 2: I think I'm going to see him. So I'm with

987
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,280
Speaker 2: my friends, and because I refuse to use a porter potty,

988
00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm gonna go to this little wine bar

989
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,080
Speaker 2: to use their bathroom and get me another beer and

990
00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,319
Speaker 2: I'm gonna walk back. So we're walking down the hill

991
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:53,959
Speaker 2: and we're going to walk around to leave the park.

992
00:44:54,280 --> 00:44:57,040
Speaker 2: My heart is beating now even just sharing it. And

993
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 2: I'm talking to my homegirl, and I look up and

994
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 2: I min y'all, I don't even know how to gasp

995
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:06,400
Speaker 2: in real life, but I gassed so loud and I stopped,

996
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:10,279
Speaker 2: and I'm literally like this, like whole body freeze PTSD

997
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:13,480
Speaker 2: like a motherfucking hit me. So I see him and

998
00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:16,160
Speaker 2: I'm with my best friend Crystal, and I go like

999
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:20,600
Speaker 2: this and I freeze. Once I go, I literally feel

1000
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 2: every vein every muscle in my body, like literally it

1001
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:27,319
Speaker 2: felt like electric shocks. I felt it. Look look at

1002
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 2: me shaking. It reached each fingertip, look each fingertip. I

1003
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 2: felt to go all the way down my legs into

1004
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:38,080
Speaker 2: each toes. And I stood there and I like quickly

1005
00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,040
Speaker 2: turn around. Immediately I have a fucking panic attack. My

1006
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 2: eyes start watering and I'm like hyperventilating, and I'm like,

1007
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:47,239
Speaker 2: oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, that's him.

1008
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,759
Speaker 2: Like even sharing this story right now, the way that

1009
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 2: my body felt, a human being has never made me

1010
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 2: feel this way in my life. This is just off

1011
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 2: the side of him a year later. Mind you y'all know,

1012
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 2: couldn't even be around niggas last year for a long

1013
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:03,840
Speaker 2: part without being triggered, without crying.

1014
00:46:04,040 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 1: Without being reminded of him. And so I saw him and.

1015
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,440
Speaker 2: I go like, we gotta go, we gotta go, we

1016
00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:11,319
Speaker 2: gotta go. So I called Antonet and I'm like, bitch,

1017
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,840
Speaker 2: I just saw this nigga. She's like, you can go

1018
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:15,200
Speaker 2: if you want. Do you want me to come get you.

1019
00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:19,920
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, there, no, he did. It was all psychological.

1020
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:23,840
Speaker 2: He's never he's never laid his hands on me. He cheated,

1021
00:46:23,880 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 2: but I found out the cheating after the fact, and

1022
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:30,719
Speaker 2: but psychologically it was. We broke up thirteen times, and

1023
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 2: I ended up looking into narcissism. But literally, anytime I

1024
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:38,760
Speaker 2: had something good happening, he broke up. Anytime I questioned

1025
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,000
Speaker 2: him about anything, he broke up with me to the

1026
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 2: point where I stopped questioning because I just wanted us

1027
00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:45,400
Speaker 2: to be on the high for as long as possible.

1028
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:46,319
Speaker 1: I hope you get the cans.

1029
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,359
Speaker 2: Listen me too, bitch. I ain't even gonna hold you

1030
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 2: so so listen.

1031
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:51,680
Speaker 1: So I'm like, we gotta, like, let me tell you something.

1032
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:51,919
Speaker 3: Listen.

1033
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 2: Why did we euthanize dogs and shit, Oh, bitch, I

1034
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:58,360
Speaker 2: will not even euthanized. You know, the nigga eats neutered,

1035
00:46:58,440 --> 00:47:00,799
Speaker 2: but neoter to where you topped the and the dick.

1036
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,720
Speaker 2: I wanted to walk around like Kendall.

1037
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 3: Can I ask you a question? And this has maybe

1038
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 3: not so much for you, so don't. Okay, take it

1039
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:11,960
Speaker 3: in a personal way, but how how much bill are

1040
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:16,480
Speaker 3: we going to keep giving co stars in these sad movies?

1041
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 2: No? No, no, I don't I don't want the bell. I'm

1042
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:19,080
Speaker 2: not gonna lie.

1043
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:21,160
Speaker 4: Wait, what you're saying, Mandy needs to say no, no, no no.

1044
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:24,600
Speaker 2: And I've taken responsibility. And what I'm saying is seeing

1045
00:47:24,600 --> 00:47:27,319
Speaker 2: this man after this long and what yes, mind you

1046
00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:30,040
Speaker 2: I've I've went through therapy. I'm very aware that I

1047
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 2: chose to go back all those times. I chose to

1048
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,839
Speaker 2: keep wanting to see, which is also weird because from

1049
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:38,440
Speaker 2: a humane point, right, if you go back to taking

1050
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,160
Speaker 2: us out of relationships, we're also taught to see the

1051
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:44,360
Speaker 2: good in someone. We're taught to forgive, We're taught to

1052
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:46,640
Speaker 2: believe that someone can be a better virgial thing.

1053
00:47:46,719 --> 00:47:52,360
Speaker 1: Right. I won't say that he is. One of my

1054
00:47:52,400 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 1: good friends is single right now and he has been

1055
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:59,680
Speaker 1: in dumping girls that want more with him. I do

1056
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:03,200
Speaker 1: it all now. I said this to me, man, and

1057
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 1: my man was like, but why doesn't he just like

1058
00:48:07,480 --> 00:48:09,320
Speaker 1: reiterated to them like I don't understand, Like now he

1059
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,359
Speaker 1: got no holes because he keeps letting them go. I

1060
00:48:11,400 --> 00:48:13,279
Speaker 1: was like, Yo, this is the sign to me of

1061
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 1: a really good person. You and we me and him

1062
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 1: had a serious talk about it, me in my homework right,

1063
00:48:17,800 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 1: and he was like, Yo, I can't take the fucking

1064
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:24,040
Speaker 1: disappointment with these girls anymore. They're let down.

1065
00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 2: After I tell them for the third fucking time.

1066
00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,440
Speaker 1: But let me tell you something. If he wasn't shit,

1067
00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 1: you start to mold this person. You know they need you,

1068
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: you know they don't want to let you go. That

1069
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:36,160
Speaker 1: is a bad person.

1070
00:48:36,239 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 3: But guess who gives thirteen chances and guess who gets block? No?

1071
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,399
Speaker 1: No, no, So what he knows the thing though, when

1072
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 1: someone I'm not trying to call you week, just let

1073
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,560
Speaker 1: me get the oh. When someone is in the dumps

1074
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 1: of love, right, they let you go, they're like fuck,

1075
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 1: they feel good for a second and then you come

1076
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:53,479
Speaker 1: back and you're manipulate. I'm gonna do this right, baby,

1077
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 1: this and that you know I'm already weak for this

1078
00:48:55,239 --> 00:48:56,200
Speaker 1: person in this moment.

1079
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:58,440
Speaker 2: And that's the Stockholm not only no one can make

1080
00:48:58,440 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 2: you feel better than you.

1081
00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 1: I'm just supposed to go to another nigga, you're gonna

1082
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 1: think about you, go to her friends, go on vacation. No,

1083
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,120
Speaker 1: there's only one thing that pacifies the problem.

1084
00:49:06,360 --> 00:49:09,759
Speaker 2: It's like drugs, but not only the Stockholm syndrome of that.

1085
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:11,879
Speaker 1: I really love about it. Hold on, but I also

1086
00:49:12,120 --> 00:49:13,640
Speaker 1: very intentional when they're no, they're hurting.

1087
00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:17,000
Speaker 2: It's not only that, it's also for a lot of us.

1088
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 2: And this is men, men and women. We are also

1089
00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:25,319
Speaker 2: taught that marriage, as well as relationships, take work. They're

1090
00:49:25,360 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 2: not easy. Everything's not going to be perfect. If it's

1091
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:30,880
Speaker 2: a love worth having, you have to fight for it.

1092
00:49:31,200 --> 00:49:34,359
Speaker 2: So all of these ideas, with this being my first relationship,

1093
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:36,920
Speaker 2: a part of me and seeing a lot of my

1094
00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 2: friends and other relationships and put up with bullshit, a

1095
00:49:39,480 --> 00:49:42,080
Speaker 2: part of me was like, okay, I'm easily. As soon

1096
00:49:42,080 --> 00:49:43,959
Speaker 2: as the nigga pissed me off, I'm out that bitch

1097
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:45,759
Speaker 2: on to the next one. So a part of me

1098
00:49:45,920 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, I'm in a real relationship.

1099
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 2: Let me fight for this, let me show him I

1100
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 2: do love him, let me let me take him back

1101
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 2: and forgive him and let, you know, show him that

1102
00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 2: I can be a better partner. And maybe he's trying

1103
00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:58,880
Speaker 2: to come back and show that he could be a

1104
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 2: better partner. That's a unfortunately, this fucked up thing. There's

1105
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:04,680
Speaker 2: a song and y'all know it, The ship that you

1106
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:07,000
Speaker 2: come out to, Nigga, the song by Summer Walker.

1107
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:09,279
Speaker 1: It's always like, uh.

1108
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:13,720
Speaker 2: The hurt song, you know, the one by Summer Walker, and.

1109
00:50:13,640 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 4: Oh you come out to that?

1110
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:21,560
Speaker 1: And Summer Walker also singing the most depressing songs of

1111
00:50:21,600 --> 00:50:26,000
Speaker 1: all time and it's literally your cry performing performs picnic, Yes,

1112
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:27,719
Speaker 1: and that makes me cry.

1113
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, it makes me cry too. That's why I come

1114
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:29,880
Speaker 3: out to it.

1115
00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:32,239
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people it brings that emotional worse.

1116
00:50:32,400 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 3: That's why it's so beautiful.

1117
00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 1: Why do you want to come out to that?

1118
00:50:35,120 --> 00:50:37,760
Speaker 3: Because people are emotionless? Thank God for things that actually

1119
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:43,320
Speaker 3: make people feel something, Okay, And this fucking, this numb, ignorant,

1120
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:44,400
Speaker 3: filthy world.

1121
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:48,840
Speaker 1: So bessy about that song. I was watching Summer Walker

1122
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,439
Speaker 1: like performing on YouTube or something, and all I could

1123
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:54,120
Speaker 1: think is, I don't really like all the BBL stuff

1124
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:55,640
Speaker 1: on her. I just think she's so beautiful that I

1125
00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:58,759
Speaker 1: kind of hate sometimes, like what culture has become like

1126
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 1: listening to music like this bitch looks like a fashion

1127
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 1: over queen. What the fuck is gon be weird?

1128
00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 2: You could get all the ship done in your body

1129
00:51:07,160 --> 00:51:09,120
Speaker 2: and these niggas still gonna act up.

1130
00:51:09,760 --> 00:51:14,840
Speaker 1: Bro, don't meddle perfection, all of it injection and it

1131
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:16,640
Speaker 1: doesn't matter they don't.

1132
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think like I hate that if

1133
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 3: something goes like anything, any any beauty standard that a

1134
00:51:25,160 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 3: woman does in excess, don't don't put that back on

1135
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:33,000
Speaker 3: the bros. I think a lot for yourselves and for

1136
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 3: other women, and nobody knows what it's going to do

1137
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 3: to your body, Like everybody when they go to wherever

1138
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,719
Speaker 3: they go and they tell them what it's supposed to

1139
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:45,439
Speaker 3: look like. Uh, you know, there's a lot of things

1140
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:46,919
Speaker 3: that go wrong with making.

1141
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 1: Don't you do that today? All well, not all, but

1142
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 1: most there's like a ig We talked about this a

1143
00:51:55,080 --> 00:51:57,520
Speaker 1: few weeks ago. I think with Julie Ginger, do you

1144
00:51:57,560 --> 00:51:59,880
Speaker 1: think there's like an internet standard of beauty how the

1145
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:01,759
Speaker 1: girl will look kind of like an ey?

1146
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's all AI. Now all them bitches don't

1147
00:52:04,040 --> 00:52:04,520
Speaker 2: be looking like that.

1148
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:06,319
Speaker 4: Well, I think the point is to look like that

1149
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:07,759
Speaker 4: though filters to get the.

1150
00:52:08,160 --> 00:52:10,840
Speaker 2: I and then you see him in person and they look nuts.

1151
00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:12,160
Speaker 1: I really crazy.

1152
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 4: Shout out to Wai Speeds. Y'all be funny, not unless they.

1153
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:18,440
Speaker 2: Be naturally beautiful. I want to ask. I want to

1154
00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 2: get back to this because after experiencing this, I realized that.

1155
00:52:24,520 --> 00:52:26,399
Speaker 2: And I want to bring this up because I used

1156
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:28,680
Speaker 2: to refer to him as so may. I at one

1157
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 2: point did believe he was my soulmate and having that

1158
00:52:32,360 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 2: that interaction with my body after just seeing him, made

1159
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 2: me realize there's some level of soul ties. And I

1160
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,760
Speaker 2: want to talk about a little bit of soul ties,

1161
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:50,160
Speaker 2: but also energy transference with relationships and casual sex, because

1162
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:55,560
Speaker 2: it's I'm only asking to fight against. I'm only asking

1163
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:59,040
Speaker 2: this too because we're in LA and I brought up

1164
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,319
Speaker 2: you know, I went back into the roller dicks I got,

1165
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 2: I bought. I got a lot about niggas back on

1166
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,560
Speaker 2: my line, and so there's a nigga here that they

1167
00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 2: never leave. So I was really excited to see this

1168
00:53:10,640 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 2: one guy here. And we've been back facetiming, back talking.

1169
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:16,320
Speaker 2: You knew I was coming here, and he went ghosts

1170
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:19,399
Speaker 2: the past couple of days before I got here, and

1171
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 2: so he hit me back, and literally I was already

1172
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:24,879
Speaker 2: cause I'm like, nigga, you know I'm coming. I need

1173
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,040
Speaker 2: to feel the excitement that I'm coming. And he let

1174
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 2: me know, Sorry, I haven't slept. I've been on a

1175
00:53:29,600 --> 00:53:33,000
Speaker 2: three day bench like drinking. And to me, that made

1176
00:53:33,040 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 2: me feel like, nigga, you fighting something else. I don't

1177
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:38,080
Speaker 2: even want that shit inside of me whatever you're battling,

1178
00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 2: because no, I'm good. Even though I wanted to get

1179
00:53:41,000 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 2: in his boot hole, I wasn't even gonna let me

1180
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,400
Speaker 2: a three day bitch. Nigga, you have a job. I

1181
00:53:47,440 --> 00:53:52,160
Speaker 2: need to know. No, bitch, it wasn't Friday to Sunday.

1182
00:53:52,440 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 2: To me, if anybody is like I haven't slept, I've

1183
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:58,439
Speaker 2: been drunk and I've been binging for three days, that's

1184
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,320
Speaker 2: not the type of person I want.

1185
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:04,200
Speaker 3: You never fucked the nigga into loom on Memorial Day weekend. No,

1186
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:10,240
Speaker 3: on the fourth day my Miami Memorial Day weekend, fight weekend, catch.

1187
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:15,360
Speaker 1: A nigga on the Sunday went through something. The problem

1188
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:16,000
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna.

1189
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,920
Speaker 2: I don't want to transfer like energies with a nigga

1190
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 2: that I think is battling his own demon.

1191
00:54:20,719 --> 00:54:22,279
Speaker 1: I will tell you this, I got a nigga, who's

1192
00:54:22,320 --> 00:54:26,240
Speaker 1: there people that maybe aren't drinking or explicitly saying it, it's.

1193
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:29,120
Speaker 2: Still battling, yeah, man, But I don't know about him.

1194
00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 2: Let me not know about it, goddamn it.

1195
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:34,520
Speaker 1: Because here's the thing. Sometimes when you're on that kind

1196
00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 1: of shiit, what what what you know?

1197
00:54:37,840 --> 00:54:39,880
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people are too creative with

1198
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 3: their storytelling, And the most dangerous part is most of

1199
00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:47,360
Speaker 3: the stories they tell are to themselves, right, And we've

1200
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:51,239
Speaker 3: become so empowered and so free that we think that

1201
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 3: we we can sell, like we can come up with

1202
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:56,920
Speaker 3: our own narrative for basically any sort of situation. Now,

1203
00:54:56,960 --> 00:54:59,560
Speaker 3: the beauty in that is because you can prevent yourself

1204
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:04,759
Speaker 3: from being hurt. But the delusion in it is I

1205
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 3: could hear that same story as a third party, and

1206
00:55:07,239 --> 00:55:11,120
Speaker 3: I can say, you know what, in order for me

1207
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:13,880
Speaker 3: to save myself, I'm going to say that I was

1208
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 3: probably upset, honestly that this guy kind of curved me

1209
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:20,399
Speaker 3: and then wasn't prepared for me when I got here.

1210
00:55:21,800 --> 00:55:24,920
Speaker 3: So his presentation to me makes me all of a

1211
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:28,640
Speaker 3: sudden go back into my rolodex of excuses and say,

1212
00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:31,879
Speaker 3: you know what, I'm so glad this shit didn't work

1213
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:35,200
Speaker 3: out because it's an energy you weren't really caring about.

1214
00:55:35,719 --> 00:55:37,840
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no no. He might have got that.

1215
00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:41,640
Speaker 1: I get that vendor, but you drink too. No no, no,

1216
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:41,880
Speaker 1: I do.

1217
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:44,480
Speaker 2: But what's crazy about you even saying that is in

1218
00:55:45,160 --> 00:55:47,720
Speaker 2: my dating currently and in how men have been showing

1219
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:51,279
Speaker 2: up for me recently. In dating, I'm very adamant with

1220
00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:54,160
Speaker 2: only giving people the time of day that I feel

1221
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:56,920
Speaker 2: like deserve it. So, yes, he went on a binger.

1222
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,160
Speaker 2: I don't like the three days or the fact that

1223
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:02,040
Speaker 2: he went and I feel like keep battling something cool. However,

1224
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:05,320
Speaker 2: in the same breath, I'm also in a place where

1225
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:07,680
Speaker 2: you didn't respond for three days. You didn't roll out

1226
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 2: the red carpet that I'm coming. That's not the treatment

1227
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 2: from anybody, casual sex or not that I'm seeking.

1228
00:56:12,920 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 1: So yeah, I could.

1229
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 2: Say it's one of two things, But yeah, to me,

1230
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:18,880
Speaker 2: I know what I want from a partner or a

1231
00:56:18,920 --> 00:56:21,880
Speaker 2: casual sex encounter or friends with benefits, but I don't.

1232
00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:22,759
Speaker 3: Really want that first.

1233
00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:23,600
Speaker 2: I get it.

1234
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:26,719
Speaker 3: You started this story off with the with the dick

1235
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:31,319
Speaker 3: roller decks. But it's like it's like it's like when

1236
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:33,880
Speaker 3: you pulled this card out of the dick roller decks,

1237
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 3: you know, not the not the kinetic friendship, like right,

1238
00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:39,880
Speaker 3: not the spiritual bond, like you're only you're only flipping

1239
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 3: this thing for like available dick. Yes, And then when

1240
00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 3: we pull the dick out right now, it's like I

1241
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:47,960
Speaker 3: want to dress this dick up and have it performed

1242
00:56:47,960 --> 00:56:50,359
Speaker 3: for me because I want you to be ready when

1243
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:54,359
Speaker 3: I land showered with with all my favorite snacks by

1244
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 3: the bedside and fucking two gallons.

1245
00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:59,279
Speaker 1: Of loo I have for things you're making me think

1246
00:56:59,320 --> 00:56:59,799
Speaker 1: of right now.

1247
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:01,960
Speaker 3: But that's the delusion.

1248
00:57:04,120 --> 00:57:07,560
Speaker 1: I won't I want one? Do you need? I want

1249
00:57:07,560 --> 00:57:09,319
Speaker 1: to know when what was the text you sent into

1250
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:12,200
Speaker 1: I want to bring something up. My man told me

1251
00:57:12,239 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 1: about a girl that he fucks with this time of time.

1252
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:18,480
Speaker 1: Whatever happens right like curly, like if he wants to

1253
00:57:18,520 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 1: like fucking random is hit. I travel a lot, so

1254
00:57:21,280 --> 00:57:25,880
Speaker 1: but this is something we discussed again. So he's like, yo,

1255
00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:26,640
Speaker 1: he's like this.

1256
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 3: Girl boyfriend, call him something else.

1257
00:57:30,680 --> 00:57:33,280
Speaker 1: I don't need to call him something else. That's the boyfriend.

1258
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 1: So he says, this girl was like bugging on him

1259
00:57:36,720 --> 00:57:37,640
Speaker 1: about communication.

1260
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 4: He's like, I'm really seeing here looking at my phone,

1261
00:57:39,560 --> 00:57:40,560
Speaker 4: like I.

1262
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:42,080
Speaker 1: Told you I got to short you, Like I don't.

1263
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:44,080
Speaker 1: I can't get back to you right now. He's like,

1264
00:57:44,200 --> 00:57:47,560
Speaker 1: it was crazy to me that I set this very

1265
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:50,160
Speaker 1: friends with benefits. If I fuck you, I fuck you

1266
00:57:50,240 --> 00:57:52,920
Speaker 1: relationship with this person. He's like, we're not dating. I've

1267
00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:55,920
Speaker 1: never taken her out. It's just been sex. And she

1268
00:57:56,160 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 1: was mad that I couldn't write her back quick enough.

1269
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:02,320
Speaker 1: He said, I don't understand how the standard became communication

1270
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 1: when I've just been fucking and not doing shit else.

1271
00:58:05,480 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 1: He's like, this girl was really bugging on what she

1272
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:11,919
Speaker 1: thinks she deserves for me, when in reality she never

1273
00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:15,240
Speaker 1: put that I deserve X y Z even before sex.

1274
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:20,120
Speaker 1: So I want to do well to say people in

1275
00:58:20,360 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 1: very casual sexual encounters do not think that they have

1276
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:32,160
Speaker 1: to have this Like I'm in courtesy. What was courtesy.

1277
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:35,800
Speaker 3: Can give you? But not.

1278
00:58:38,240 --> 00:58:39,400
Speaker 1: No, bro, like mind you.

1279
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:41,400
Speaker 2: We were face timing when I just had a layover

1280
00:58:41,400 --> 00:58:44,160
Speaker 2: in Atlanta. Nigga called me three times back to back

1281
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:46,000
Speaker 2: face time and I had to check them the next morning, Like, bro,

1282
00:58:46,240 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 2: unless you did, I said, you alive nigga, because don't

1283
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 2: you ever call me three times back on respond to

1284
00:58:53,480 --> 00:58:55,440
Speaker 2: oh no, it was like multiple texts, let me see,

1285
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 2: let me hold. But see, here's the thing, whether you

1286
00:58:59,320 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 2: were casually fucking someone, whether your friends with benefits with

1287
00:59:01,920 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 2: someone to me, and this is where let me grow

1288
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 2: up from how I acted in my twenties to being

1289
00:59:07,720 --> 00:59:11,760
Speaker 2: in my thirties. I would like common courtesy, human decency

1290
00:59:11,960 --> 00:59:14,200
Speaker 2: from someone who I don't even have to reply because

1291
00:59:14,200 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 2: I'm giving you my fucking pussy, my nigga respond to

1292
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:20,040
Speaker 2: a text message. So he went a few days. So

1293
00:59:21,160 --> 00:59:22,760
Speaker 2: I said, you're doing this shit again. I'm gonna let

1294
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,840
Speaker 2: you be. He literally said, I was on a binge

1295
00:59:24,880 --> 00:59:26,920
Speaker 2: this oh week, it was a weekend. This was a

1296
00:59:26,920 --> 00:59:28,880
Speaker 2: Monday response, so it was a weekend. Makes sense because

1297
00:59:28,920 --> 00:59:31,480
Speaker 2: he has a job. Drunk for three days straight, no sleep.

1298
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:34,600
Speaker 2: I said, you got it, get well soon. Then he said, morning,

1299
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 2: what are your plans for BT weekend? I said, I'm

1300
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 2: off for you. You literally ain't been responsive and I'm

1301
00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 2: put for over a week. And he's like, okay, that's

1302
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 2: your choice. Wish you nothing but the best, and he

1303
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:46,480
Speaker 2: got a thumbs up. That's it. And now I realized it.

1304
00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:48,320
Speaker 1: Was a what did you initially text that he didn't

1305
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:48,800
Speaker 1: response to.

1306
00:59:49,040 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 2: No, But we were face timing. It wasn't a text.

1307
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:52,080
Speaker 2: It was just like that I'm gonna be there, be

1308
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 2: there next week this time, and he didn't answer.

1309
00:59:54,560 --> 00:59:54,640
Speaker 1: No.

1310
00:59:54,720 --> 00:59:56,280
Speaker 2: He called me the last time he called me on

1311
00:59:56,280 --> 00:59:58,440
Speaker 2: face time, I didn't four o'clock in the morning.

1312
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,640
Speaker 1: In three days. What was this last communication? Hold on

1313
01:00:00,680 --> 01:00:01,400
Speaker 1: made you so upset?

1314
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:04,720
Speaker 2: Hold on? Well, the fact that we spent an hour

1315
01:00:04,760 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 2: on FaceTime making plans for this week that I'm here,

1316
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 2: and you go the whole week before I come here

1317
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 2: without talking about it wasn't a week, you.

1318
01:00:13,240 --> 01:00:14,360
Speaker 1: Said, it was three days?

1319
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:15,360
Speaker 3: Still long enough.

1320
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,480
Speaker 1: What was it that he didn't respond to that?

1321
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:19,440
Speaker 3: But the reason why he because.

1322
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:20,880
Speaker 2: He left me all read. I said, you leave me

1323
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,840
Speaker 2: on red raggedy. Then he said, yo, this was but

1324
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:28,440
Speaker 2: see I don't know the dates now it says Monday, Saturday, Saturday, Monday, Monday, Tuesday,

1325
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 2: Tuesday later no regardless, noo, But like like, I don't care.

1326
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:36,240
Speaker 2: I didn't like the communication effort. You not gonna get

1327
01:00:36,240 --> 01:00:38,080
Speaker 2: in my faith, layup with me and be in my

1328
01:00:38,080 --> 01:00:39,280
Speaker 2: pussy if you wasn't.

1329
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:43,200
Speaker 3: But see that wasn't a dick roller decks that was

1330
01:00:43,520 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 3: fucking unsolved mysteries, right, you know what I'm saying, Like,

1331
01:00:48,120 --> 01:00:50,640
Speaker 3: I just I just feel like I feel like that

1332
01:00:50,760 --> 01:00:53,520
Speaker 3: what fucks us up in our head is how we

1333
01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 3: think things are supposed to be. And most of his

1334
01:00:56,360 --> 01:00:59,160
Speaker 3: damage is done before we even interact with another human being.

1335
01:00:59,560 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 3: And most and I think a lot of times we

1336
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:05,760
Speaker 3: set people up for failure because we don't even give

1337
01:01:05,800 --> 01:01:09,200
Speaker 3: them the whole play. We just give them the offensive line.

1338
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 1: We're saying right before, and to his point, right before

1339
01:01:11,680 --> 01:01:13,600
Speaker 1: that you didn't want to fuck with someone that was

1340
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:17,160
Speaker 1: energetically on a vendor. Now it's the standards you have.

1341
01:01:17,320 --> 01:01:20,880
Speaker 2: But but why can't two things exist? I genuinely do

1342
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:22,560
Speaker 2: not want to deal with someone.

1343
01:01:22,480 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 1: Me with your friends. But me, let's be me, drinking.

1344
01:01:27,560 --> 01:01:31,160
Speaker 2: With my friends did not leave me unresponsive to the people,

1345
01:01:31,280 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 2: the niggas, the friends, my family that I care about.

1346
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:37,440
Speaker 2: So that's one thing. Hold on and me drinking or

1347
01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:39,920
Speaker 2: having fun is not me being on a binge, me

1348
01:01:40,040 --> 01:01:43,200
Speaker 2: literally not sleeping because I'm drinking, I'm partying. I'm exuding

1349
01:01:43,520 --> 01:01:45,360
Speaker 2: this level of behavior. I can drink, I can have

1350
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:47,560
Speaker 2: a drink. That's not a problem. At the same time,

1351
01:01:48,120 --> 01:01:50,919
Speaker 2: now that I'm casually dating one thing that I wasn't doing.

1352
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:52,720
Speaker 1: Are you are you no?

1353
01:01:52,720 --> 01:01:54,440
Speaker 2: No, and we're not going to do this.

1354
01:01:54,680 --> 01:01:58,400
Speaker 1: No man, no to me if you're just fucking a nigga.

1355
01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:00,439
Speaker 2: To me, if I'm just fucking a nigga, I still

1356
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 2: want the common courtesy, human decency of you responding to

1357
01:02:04,480 --> 01:02:07,040
Speaker 2: me and not leaving me on red for three days,

1358
01:02:07,120 --> 01:02:10,600
Speaker 2: especially knowing I'm coming to your city. Bro, I get it. Sorry,

1359
01:02:10,680 --> 01:02:12,160
Speaker 2: anybody that I'm gonna hope my.

1360
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:14,600
Speaker 1: Legs laying about like my volume, like Beard Bay cut

1361
01:02:14,640 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 1: me off for like a or six months because he

1362
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:20,080
Speaker 1: said I didn't text backward. But I get that. I'm like, bro, okay,

1363
01:02:20,280 --> 01:02:23,160
Speaker 1: but you're not my nick like, get over it. I'd'm sorry,

1364
01:02:23,160 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 1: but when people make me beholden to like answering on

1365
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:30,280
Speaker 1: their time, but it's not even mean to me literally

1366
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:32,000
Speaker 1: with my friends all weekend. Let's just say it's a

1367
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:34,280
Speaker 1: birthday weekend. I'm having a good time. Okay, I'll get

1368
01:02:34,280 --> 01:02:35,680
Speaker 1: to you when I get to you. I don't.

1369
01:02:35,840 --> 01:02:37,480
Speaker 2: I don't, and that's up to me.

1370
01:02:37,560 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 1: I'd like to get to work text. I get it.

1371
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:42,520
Speaker 2: I get it, but I don't expect. I don't expect

1372
01:02:42,880 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 2: mind you of response within an hour. If we are

1373
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:49,480
Speaker 2: actively talking, I'm coming to your city. You supposed to

1374
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:52,320
Speaker 2: lay up and be up inside of me. You not

1375
01:02:52,440 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 2: responding for days on end. I'm sorry. There's no way

1376
01:02:55,280 --> 01:02:58,640
Speaker 2: that you deserve at this point, my time, my pussy,

1377
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:02,440
Speaker 2: my space, and to me. I've finally gotten to a point,

1378
01:03:02,680 --> 01:03:06,520
Speaker 2: thank God, where I can actually feel as though only

1379
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:09,880
Speaker 2: people that make me feel wanted, feel desired should be

1380
01:03:09,920 --> 01:03:11,959
Speaker 2: able to be in my space and to me, whether

1381
01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,840
Speaker 2: it's a text message within twenty four hours, twenty four

1382
01:03:14,840 --> 01:03:16,480
Speaker 2: hours is not asking a lot. I don't need joe

1383
01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:17,720
Speaker 2: As to respond once.

1384
01:03:17,560 --> 01:03:18,080
Speaker 1: I text you.

1385
01:03:18,480 --> 01:03:20,920
Speaker 2: But if you go three four days without hitting me

1386
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 2: a week before I'm coming to your city, you are

1387
01:03:23,400 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 2: not someone that I need to give my time to.

1388
01:03:25,160 --> 01:03:29,120
Speaker 1: If that's your standard. Cool, However, I just think we

1389
01:03:29,160 --> 01:03:33,480
Speaker 1: are putting a lot of rules on casual. It's human.

1390
01:03:33,720 --> 01:03:37,120
Speaker 1: I think deity deserves that. I don't think fucking does shit.

1391
01:03:37,560 --> 01:03:39,200
Speaker 1: I don't you gonna be in my pussy? You got

1392
01:03:39,240 --> 01:03:43,560
Speaker 1: if I'm give him shit pussy next weekend July fourth

1393
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:46,160
Speaker 1: weekend and I don't hit them back this week whatever,

1394
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,760
Speaker 1: like if all we talk about is sex.

1395
01:03:49,080 --> 01:03:51,040
Speaker 2: We don't only talk about sex, we talk about his

1396
01:03:51,200 --> 01:03:54,479
Speaker 2: kid work, nigga, you got me on FaceTime even caring

1397
01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:59,080
Speaker 2: about your motherfucking Oh sorry, there's a guy.

1398
01:03:59,560 --> 01:04:05,720
Speaker 3: I mean, y'all really don't need nobody else. But no,

1399
01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:11,440
Speaker 3: like check that was crazy, but it's brilliant. It's brilliant.

1400
01:04:13,000 --> 01:04:16,320
Speaker 2: It wasn't a debate, bro.

1401
01:04:16,480 --> 01:04:20,480
Speaker 1: I mean, I think if that didn't happen with your

1402
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:22,920
Speaker 1: ex and you weren't in that mode, if I.

1403
01:04:22,960 --> 01:04:24,800
Speaker 2: Wasn't thirty three and grew to fuck up and say,

1404
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:27,000
Speaker 2: these niggas don't deserve pussye, But.

1405
01:04:27,320 --> 01:04:28,920
Speaker 3: Wait a minute, all right, A couple of things, A

1406
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:31,480
Speaker 3: couple of things, A couple of things right for me?

1407
01:04:32,960 --> 01:04:35,120
Speaker 2: I mean, because I want to be treated well.

1408
01:04:35,160 --> 01:04:39,360
Speaker 3: I think I think. I think Mandy gives pussy. I

1409
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:43,800
Speaker 3: think some women just get dick, and those are those

1410
01:04:43,800 --> 01:04:45,440
Speaker 3: are those are different things.

1411
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:49,280
Speaker 1: Andy's actually giving the dick in this scenario, Yo, come, no, no.

1412
01:04:48,720 --> 01:04:52,360
Speaker 3: No, but no no, actually she's not like if.

1413
01:04:52,200 --> 01:04:54,680
Speaker 1: You lover, if you're someone that's showing up for sex,

1414
01:04:56,240 --> 01:04:58,000
Speaker 1: women giving you an experienced nigga.

1415
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:00,920
Speaker 3: No, I mean, you know there are like in my

1416
01:05:01,000 --> 01:05:05,840
Speaker 3: own personal life, any casual sex I've had is like

1417
01:05:07,080 --> 01:05:09,000
Speaker 3: it would be like I'm talking to a woman in

1418
01:05:09,080 --> 01:05:11,960
Speaker 3: DM for like a year and a half. I finally

1419
01:05:12,400 --> 01:05:14,840
Speaker 3: our schedules, finally connecting, we're in the same city at

1420
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:19,440
Speaker 3: the same time, and then we fucked. Or it might

1421
01:05:19,480 --> 01:05:22,560
Speaker 3: be like an ex girlfriend who doesn't want to move

1422
01:05:22,600 --> 01:05:28,760
Speaker 3: on and actually fucking new nigga, but she's okay with

1423
01:05:28,880 --> 01:05:33,160
Speaker 3: fucking me even though we're not in a relationship. That's

1424
01:05:33,160 --> 01:05:36,720
Speaker 3: probably like my extent of casual sex. Now, no, those

1425
01:05:36,760 --> 01:05:41,000
Speaker 3: instances are different. But I just feel like in my incident,

1426
01:05:41,840 --> 01:05:45,560
Speaker 3: she just wanted to come get some dick. She wasn't

1427
01:05:45,600 --> 01:05:48,560
Speaker 3: a submissive woman trying to make sure that she had

1428
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:51,400
Speaker 3: a qualified, caring person to give her pussy to.

1429
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:52,240
Speaker 2: She just wants.

1430
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,320
Speaker 3: Now, when a woman wants dick, she will go to

1431
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:59,200
Speaker 3: her nearest nightclub, motherfucking car wash, wherever, wherever dix are

1432
01:05:59,240 --> 01:06:06,480
Speaker 3: so and to be like, you know what givings like, Listen,

1433
01:06:06,600 --> 01:06:09,280
Speaker 3: it don't gotta be free, Like if a nigga gives

1434
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:11,360
Speaker 3: you great dick, you should put fifty. You remember y'all

1435
01:06:11,400 --> 01:06:13,800
Speaker 3: had the love guy in here and he was like, yo,

1436
01:06:13,880 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 3: I fucked the bank teller. Jason Love right, Jason Love

1437
01:06:17,480 --> 01:06:19,160
Speaker 3: told me that if you fucking bank Taeller good and

1438
01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:21,840
Speaker 3: you count of fucked up, she should bless you for

1439
01:06:21,920 --> 01:06:24,520
Speaker 3: the happy ended. Like I wish I would have got

1440
01:06:24,560 --> 01:06:26,640
Speaker 3: a lot more cash for the quality dick I was

1441
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:30,000
Speaker 3: giving out, especially as a side nigga, because side nigga

1442
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:31,480
Speaker 3: dick is what saves relationship.

1443
01:06:32,920 --> 01:06:33,920
Speaker 1: That kept me so happy.

1444
01:06:33,880 --> 01:06:37,200
Speaker 3: And that's what I'm saying crazy, But no, that was

1445
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:41,800
Speaker 3: But like I think most women have to ask themselves

1446
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:43,760
Speaker 3: when they're when they engage, when they when they get

1447
01:06:43,760 --> 01:06:46,960
Speaker 3: that they they dick roller DECKX moment they got asked them,

1448
01:06:47,080 --> 01:06:49,040
Speaker 3: am I trying to get fucked? Or am I trying

1449
01:06:49,080 --> 01:06:51,160
Speaker 3: to actually give my pussy to somebody I feel like

1450
01:06:51,200 --> 01:06:54,000
Speaker 3: cares about me. And if you don't have your mind

1451
01:06:54,040 --> 01:06:56,960
Speaker 3: made up about that, you're gonna set You're gonna set

1452
01:06:56,960 --> 01:06:57,600
Speaker 3: other people up.

1453
01:06:57,560 --> 01:07:00,680
Speaker 1: For get like it's super emoi and for the most

1454
01:07:00,840 --> 01:07:02,160
Speaker 1: like you don't want to let me be emo.

1455
01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:02,880
Speaker 2: That's what we have.

1456
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:04,880
Speaker 1: But I think that's the point, like that I'm trying

1457
01:07:04,920 --> 01:07:08,000
Speaker 1: to make so like I'm so emotional in sexual encounters

1458
01:07:08,280 --> 01:07:11,320
Speaker 1: that I've sometimes ruined what it's just a sexual encounter

1459
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:13,280
Speaker 1: men that I don't want to date men that I

1460
01:07:13,280 --> 01:07:15,320
Speaker 1: don't want to spend more time with them that I

1461
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:18,920
Speaker 1: know is a bad investment of my time. I feel

1462
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:22,280
Speaker 1: like because I've had those parameters and not just a

1463
01:07:22,320 --> 01:07:24,320
Speaker 1: text or whatever they like I'm talking about, maybe I've

1464
01:07:24,360 --> 01:07:27,080
Speaker 1: had like rules or whatever set it's kind of kept

1465
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:30,520
Speaker 1: me from fun casual sex. I really think I was

1466
01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:32,280
Speaker 1: so on a high horse. I'm not saying you are

1467
01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:35,480
Speaker 1: with the sex in my past, with what I needed

1468
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:38,520
Speaker 1: from casual sex partners. Then it really kept me away

1469
01:07:38,520 --> 01:07:40,960
Speaker 1: from niggas because it's like, damn, you want me to

1470
01:07:41,000 --> 01:07:42,560
Speaker 1: be your boyfriend, but not be your boyfriend.

1471
01:07:42,560 --> 01:07:44,360
Speaker 2: Oh, it ain't keeping me away from niggas. I just said,

1472
01:07:44,360 --> 01:07:45,040
Speaker 2: I ain't gonna.

1473
01:07:44,800 --> 01:07:46,560
Speaker 1: See you, right, I.

1474
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:55,080
Speaker 3: Mean, do maybe people want these these other than monogamous bonds,

1475
01:07:55,520 --> 01:07:57,200
Speaker 3: Like I don't think a lot of people really want

1476
01:07:57,360 --> 01:07:58,680
Speaker 3: full blown casual sex.

1477
01:07:58,760 --> 01:07:59,560
Speaker 1: I don't either.

1478
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:01,600
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people don't. And I think

1479
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:04,720
Speaker 3: I think we I think we did people, but I

1480
01:08:04,760 --> 01:08:08,200
Speaker 3: think we all. I think we all march to that

1481
01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:12,760
Speaker 3: drum like as like like if if culture at the

1482
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:15,680
Speaker 3: highest is in entertainment and the music, all the music

1483
01:08:15,760 --> 01:08:18,400
Speaker 3: suggests that you know, we can fuck niggas just because

1484
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:21,479
Speaker 3: they give us money, and then we can fuck hose

1485
01:08:21,640 --> 01:08:24,280
Speaker 3: because they just look good and they want to be around.

1486
01:08:25,160 --> 01:08:27,519
Speaker 3: But I don't think people like on the day to day.

1487
01:08:27,520 --> 01:08:30,080
Speaker 3: I don't think people can actually handle that.

1488
01:08:30,240 --> 01:08:32,200
Speaker 1: I complete. I think men can't either.

1489
01:08:33,560 --> 01:08:36,200
Speaker 3: There's a lot of women I wanted them to call

1490
01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:36,639
Speaker 3: me back.

1491
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:43,519
Speaker 1: If we're going to ask for something casual and we

1492
01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:47,240
Speaker 1: want this casual exchange, we can't then say it has

1493
01:08:47,280 --> 01:08:48,240
Speaker 1: to come with X y Z.

1494
01:08:48,439 --> 01:08:48,800
Speaker 3: Why not?

1495
01:08:49,200 --> 01:08:49,640
Speaker 2: Why not?

1496
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:54,519
Speaker 3: Because that's not casual. That's if you want me to

1497
01:08:54,560 --> 01:08:57,880
Speaker 3: clean my crib and have roses on the table before

1498
01:08:57,920 --> 01:08:59,639
Speaker 3: you come get dick. You did not come over here

1499
01:08:59,640 --> 01:09:02,960
Speaker 3: for dick. You came from romance, and romance is different

1500
01:09:02,960 --> 01:09:03,759
Speaker 3: than tell.

1501
01:09:03,640 --> 01:09:05,559
Speaker 1: Me what y'all think about this scenario that's happening into

1502
01:09:05,560 --> 01:09:08,040
Speaker 1: a homegirl mind claims she's had the best stick in

1503
01:09:08,080 --> 01:09:10,760
Speaker 1: her life, hates that he sends her an uber and

1504
01:09:10,800 --> 01:09:14,760
Speaker 1: she pulls up. She has now added this stipulation, but

1505
01:09:14,920 --> 01:09:17,720
Speaker 1: after about four months, she would prefer at least they

1506
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:19,680
Speaker 1: have a meal together and go out and get drinks.

1507
01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:23,439
Speaker 1: This niggas like, that's that you want me to take

1508
01:09:23,439 --> 01:09:26,000
Speaker 1: you on a date before I fucking get some pussy

1509
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:28,120
Speaker 1: that I ain't going and we're like all we do

1510
01:09:28,200 --> 01:09:31,720
Speaker 1: is fucked. So literally said to her, and I was like, oh,

1511
01:09:31,720 --> 01:09:34,600
Speaker 1: you kind of read you, but she didn't deserve He

1512
01:09:34,640 --> 01:09:36,519
Speaker 1: sent her a text he said, Hey, we'd love to

1513
01:09:36,600 --> 01:09:39,479
Speaker 1: keep seeing you, but like, I don't know if you're

1514
01:09:39,520 --> 01:09:42,680
Speaker 1: not dating other people and you're suddenly putting a requirement

1515
01:09:42,720 --> 01:09:44,800
Speaker 1: on me that we didn't set in the beginning. I

1516
01:09:44,840 --> 01:09:47,800
Speaker 1: don't want to do this pretend thing just to keep

1517
01:09:47,840 --> 01:09:49,360
Speaker 1: having set like we already.

1518
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:52,920
Speaker 2: Had but casual sec he now wants to date him to.

1519
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:54,320
Speaker 1: Know se, I don't know that.

1520
01:09:54,479 --> 01:09:56,320
Speaker 3: I think she just wants something else wants.

1521
01:09:58,120 --> 01:09:59,639
Speaker 1: I didn't think she wants to date him. I think

1522
01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:00,559
Speaker 1: she just she wants to.

1523
01:10:00,760 --> 01:10:05,080
Speaker 2: She doesn't feel good about it, right, But no, But

1524
01:10:05,120 --> 01:10:09,280
Speaker 2: that's what I'm saying in my what you for our twenties,

1525
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:11,320
Speaker 2: I was so fine with that, And that's why I'm

1526
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:13,760
Speaker 2: saying even this person, Yes, it's as small as a

1527
01:10:13,800 --> 01:10:16,639
Speaker 2: text back, I text doesn't count, no, but what I'm

1528
01:10:16,640 --> 01:10:20,719
Speaker 2: saying is too. Even in my encounters of casual sex,

1529
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:23,160
Speaker 2: now I know the things that I like is romance.

1530
01:10:23,160 --> 01:10:25,360
Speaker 2: And what's crazy is I took a screenshot because you

1531
01:10:25,400 --> 01:10:27,960
Speaker 2: have a poem on your you have a poem on

1532
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:30,760
Speaker 2: your page, and I have a screenshot from Cinnamon Love

1533
01:10:31,160 --> 01:10:33,680
Speaker 2: who used to be who actually was a guest here

1534
01:10:33,680 --> 01:10:40,040
Speaker 2: on this podcast, and the response to your poem.

1535
01:10:40,200 --> 01:10:41,280
Speaker 1: Sorry, wrong phone.

1536
01:10:42,120 --> 01:10:45,160
Speaker 2: This, this uh dealing with two phones thing is kind

1537
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:45,559
Speaker 2: of crazy.

1538
01:10:45,680 --> 01:10:46,639
Speaker 1: Who got two phones?

1539
01:10:46,760 --> 01:10:48,680
Speaker 2: Me? I got two? One for the whole you want

1540
01:10:48,720 --> 01:10:51,000
Speaker 2: to say, you know, well.

1541
01:10:50,920 --> 01:10:54,040
Speaker 3: She that's like ipassed. When I first came a.

1542
01:10:54,560 --> 01:10:57,519
Speaker 2: Well she left, she basically left a comment under your

1543
01:10:57,560 --> 01:11:01,080
Speaker 2: page and here it goes right here she said that no,

1544
01:11:01,240 --> 01:11:04,360
Speaker 2: that's wrong too. Basically anyway, don't know where the fuck

1545
01:11:04,439 --> 01:11:08,919
Speaker 2: is at, but she basically said that romance is actually

1546
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:13,360
Speaker 2: the bare minimum and is in terms of your interaction

1547
01:11:13,520 --> 01:11:16,959
Speaker 2: with somebody. And I think, to me, again, the flowers

1548
01:11:16,960 --> 01:11:20,080
Speaker 2: can be a lot. Responding to a text is minimal,

1549
01:11:20,400 --> 01:11:23,400
Speaker 2: But the way I used to talk about the lack

1550
01:11:23,439 --> 01:11:28,040
Speaker 2: of not needing intimacy, romance to me does now seem

1551
01:11:28,080 --> 01:11:30,519
Speaker 2: like the bare minimum and what someone can at least

1552
01:11:30,560 --> 01:11:34,439
Speaker 2: offer if you laying down giving them your whole body. No,

1553
01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:37,480
Speaker 2: look at ah, bitch, AnyWho.

1554
01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:38,720
Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't. I just want to

1555
01:11:38,720 --> 01:11:40,000
Speaker 1: say I don't want to shit on you at this

1556
01:11:40,080 --> 01:11:42,280
Speaker 1: because as someone that's required.

1557
01:11:41,880 --> 01:11:45,840
Speaker 2: Right and now I do, I wasted my time.

1558
01:11:46,320 --> 01:11:49,519
Speaker 1: I got in so many little like things of self

1559
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:52,960
Speaker 1: worthiness about if a man wasn't doing these things before

1560
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:55,920
Speaker 1: he fucked me, and I think it was simply ridiculous

1561
01:11:55,960 --> 01:11:59,040
Speaker 1: because I genuinely just wanted to fuck. I knew I

1562
01:11:59,040 --> 01:12:03,200
Speaker 1: wanted someone deeper, smarter, maybe just better at all aspects

1563
01:12:03,200 --> 01:12:04,880
Speaker 1: of life, or someone that was a better fit for me.

1564
01:12:04,960 --> 01:12:05,200
Speaker 1: I get.

1565
01:12:05,280 --> 01:12:07,519
Speaker 2: But for some reason, I was really sitting here like.

1566
01:12:07,560 --> 01:12:09,080
Speaker 1: I can't fuck with him because he didn't do this.

1567
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:11,599
Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's the bfing.

1568
01:12:11,680 --> 01:12:15,200
Speaker 1: I've been dickless, not right now. I had been dickless

1569
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:17,400
Speaker 1: for funds because I was doing shit like that. So

1570
01:12:17,479 --> 01:12:20,280
Speaker 1: I just feel like, oh no, if someone is safe

1571
01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:23,720
Speaker 1: and respectful, yes, nigga, that's enough. I get that.

1572
01:12:23,840 --> 01:12:27,599
Speaker 2: I just realized in ending my relationship the same way. Right,

1573
01:12:27,600 --> 01:12:29,920
Speaker 2: when you have sex, you want your dick suck, right,

1574
01:12:30,640 --> 01:12:32,120
Speaker 2: You like for your dick to get sucked if you're

1575
01:12:32,120 --> 01:12:32,919
Speaker 2: gonna have sex.

1576
01:12:32,760 --> 01:12:34,960
Speaker 1: Right, will you know manny?

1577
01:12:35,120 --> 01:12:37,000
Speaker 2: Oh no, let me finish, let me finish.

1578
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:37,240
Speaker 1: No, no no.

1579
01:12:37,720 --> 01:12:41,439
Speaker 2: Will you have sex with somebody you want them to

1580
01:12:41,520 --> 01:12:45,240
Speaker 2: kiss you right, Okay. So to me, what I realized

1581
01:12:45,240 --> 01:12:49,280
Speaker 2: from my last relationship, the intimacy that I obtained actually

1582
01:12:49,880 --> 01:12:51,840
Speaker 2: fulfilled me more than the dick.

1583
01:12:51,960 --> 01:12:54,000
Speaker 1: So what's that one moment? So one moment?

1584
01:12:54,320 --> 01:12:56,519
Speaker 2: So when I so, when I broke up with when

1585
01:12:56,520 --> 01:12:58,200
Speaker 2: I broke up with my ex and went back to

1586
01:12:58,240 --> 01:13:01,200
Speaker 2: twenty four to seven, well, we had sex, even though

1587
01:13:01,240 --> 01:13:04,960
Speaker 2: it was top three of the sex, I felt empty after.

1588
01:13:05,479 --> 01:13:07,880
Speaker 2: So to me, now, if I'm gonna if I'm gonna

1589
01:13:07,920 --> 01:13:11,840
Speaker 2: have sex with someone, though these aren't sexual things, it's

1590
01:13:11,920 --> 01:13:14,280
Speaker 2: the things that within my mind make my pussy drip.

1591
01:13:14,360 --> 01:13:16,280
Speaker 2: But were you always feeling empty?

1592
01:13:16,439 --> 01:13:16,519
Speaker 1: No?

1593
01:13:17,040 --> 01:13:19,759
Speaker 2: But that's what I'm saying. I experienced with my ex,

1594
01:13:20,080 --> 01:13:23,280
Speaker 2: the things, the going out and getting drinks, the talking,

1595
01:13:23,479 --> 01:13:26,880
Speaker 2: the laying hold on, let me finish, Let me finish.

1596
01:13:27,320 --> 01:13:32,600
Speaker 2: Because because because I am such a sexual being and

1597
01:13:32,680 --> 01:13:36,519
Speaker 2: because I've had this nasty, freaky, wild sex, I can

1598
01:13:36,600 --> 01:13:39,559
Speaker 2: have that with anybody. However, now that I'm having these

1599
01:13:39,800 --> 01:13:42,479
Speaker 2: casual encounters or I'm having sex now with people that

1600
01:13:42,520 --> 01:13:46,080
Speaker 2: are not my man, I realize though after my relationship,

1601
01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:48,679
Speaker 2: the things that actually turn me on about even being

1602
01:13:48,720 --> 01:13:52,759
Speaker 2: around a nigga are those little those little intimacy not wrong.

1603
01:13:53,640 --> 01:13:55,240
Speaker 2: I want to just say that, well, yeah, because these

1604
01:13:55,240 --> 01:13:55,719
Speaker 2: are my feelings.

1605
01:13:55,720 --> 01:13:58,680
Speaker 1: But I'm saying if the expectation you have if a

1606
01:13:58,720 --> 01:14:01,160
Speaker 1: man doesn't do it, I think that you being no

1607
01:14:01,800 --> 01:14:05,040
Speaker 1: because you experienced love and now your standardship, well no,

1608
01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:07,880
Speaker 1: because you don't have a boyfriend right now. You need

1609
01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:10,240
Speaker 1: these niggas to fill the gap. It's not even filling

1610
01:14:10,280 --> 01:14:13,400
Speaker 1: the gap as much as this is.

1611
01:14:13,560 --> 01:14:15,200
Speaker 2: If I'm gonna lay up with you and give you

1612
01:14:15,240 --> 01:14:17,360
Speaker 2: my time and give you my pussy to me, the

1613
01:14:17,400 --> 01:14:19,679
Speaker 2: things that actually fulfill me and make me feel good

1614
01:14:19,960 --> 01:14:21,760
Speaker 2: are those little things outside of it.

1615
01:14:21,720 --> 01:14:23,479
Speaker 3: That's why, and that's.

1616
01:14:23,320 --> 01:14:25,800
Speaker 2: Why I communicate that.

1617
01:14:25,000 --> 01:14:30,679
Speaker 3: That's why romance can never be the bare minimum.

1618
01:14:30,680 --> 01:14:31,519
Speaker 1: Bitch. I ain't gonna lie.

1619
01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:33,680
Speaker 2: That was a circle back because I was kind of

1620
01:14:33,680 --> 01:14:37,200
Speaker 2: agreeing with that girl. But you're right, I mean, because

1621
01:14:37,240 --> 01:14:39,479
Speaker 2: clearly it's a lot to ask for it. You're telling

1622
01:14:39,520 --> 01:14:40,559
Speaker 2: me it's a lot to ask for it.

1623
01:14:40,720 --> 01:14:43,519
Speaker 3: Like I've been, like I've been on this planet before,

1624
01:14:43,680 --> 01:14:46,160
Speaker 3: like you said, but right now, but right now, this time,

1625
01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:49,880
Speaker 3: thirty nine years is time, right, and out of all

1626
01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:55,479
Speaker 3: of the things that they've introduced, like electric cars, diamonds,

1627
01:14:55,520 --> 01:14:59,519
Speaker 3: you know, fucking keyese that doesn't go moldy after forty

1628
01:14:59,520 --> 01:15:00,400
Speaker 3: five days?

1629
01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:01,160
Speaker 1: The fuck is that?

1630
01:15:01,840 --> 01:15:05,280
Speaker 3: Like? The best the best invention was like this best

1631
01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:09,800
Speaker 3: friend that you can have sex and create life with.

1632
01:15:10,760 --> 01:15:12,960
Speaker 3: Like I don't care about how if you if you

1633
01:15:13,040 --> 01:15:15,880
Speaker 3: work hard enough, you can become like a doctor who

1634
01:15:15,880 --> 01:15:18,320
Speaker 3: can actually like crack. Like that's cool. But you know

1635
01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:22,120
Speaker 3: what else is cool? Everybody else in my life I inherited,

1636
01:15:24,360 --> 01:15:27,960
Speaker 3: you know that. God, no, none of these people I picked. Yeah,

1637
01:15:28,080 --> 01:15:30,080
Speaker 3: but I but guess what, guess what I can do?

1638
01:15:30,160 --> 01:15:33,400
Speaker 3: Like you know, just like they've invented like fucking polyester

1639
01:15:33,840 --> 01:15:36,519
Speaker 3: and poly your thing. They invented this concept that you

1640
01:15:36,520 --> 01:15:40,760
Speaker 3: could take a stranger who you find visually pleasing yep,

1641
01:15:41,400 --> 01:15:45,400
Speaker 3: and you can. You can abandon everything that was of

1642
01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:48,200
Speaker 3: no value to you and you get the opportunity to

1643
01:15:48,240 --> 01:15:51,160
Speaker 3: start anew with a person who is not your elder

1644
01:15:52,120 --> 01:15:54,040
Speaker 3: or a parent figure that you had to serve for

1645
01:15:54,120 --> 01:15:56,599
Speaker 3: some time, and you have to do the reciprocal when

1646
01:15:56,600 --> 01:15:58,640
Speaker 3: they get older. Right, Like this is its own thing,

1647
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:00,519
Speaker 3: and the beauty about it is it hits you in

1648
01:16:00,600 --> 01:16:03,360
Speaker 3: so many places that the person like that, like it's

1649
01:16:03,479 --> 01:16:08,760
Speaker 3: it's literally your umbrella in a storm.

1650
01:16:06,920 --> 01:16:08,280
Speaker 1: Like that like that.

1651
01:16:08,680 --> 01:16:13,280
Speaker 3: So when you when you have that, the fact that

1652
01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:16,479
Speaker 3: the fact that we like when we connect, it's like what,

1653
01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:20,240
Speaker 3: I don't mind. Like I could have a connection with

1654
01:16:20,280 --> 01:16:25,240
Speaker 3: a dog, but it doesn't arouse me sexually, but woman does.

1655
01:16:25,920 --> 01:16:30,599
Speaker 3: So I can communicate with women, I can creep pro

1656
01:16:30,720 --> 01:16:33,600
Speaker 3: create with women like it's the most beautiful thing that

1657
01:16:33,640 --> 01:16:36,960
Speaker 3: ever existed. But the only thing that stops you from

1658
01:16:37,000 --> 01:16:39,840
Speaker 3: just being my homie is the romance.

1659
01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:44,720
Speaker 1: And you know what, but romance for some men and

1660
01:16:44,920 --> 01:16:46,840
Speaker 1: maybe not for you, because you seem just someone who

1661
01:16:47,080 --> 01:16:50,320
Speaker 1: applies a lot to give obviously throughout your work too.

1662
01:16:51,080 --> 01:16:54,200
Speaker 1: Romance for some men is not for that connection is

1663
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:55,120
Speaker 1: a lot to ask.

1664
01:16:55,400 --> 01:17:00,320
Speaker 3: But so so Spanish. So is a Spanish customs form

1665
01:17:00,439 --> 01:17:04,600
Speaker 3: to somebody who never got it in high school? What

1666
01:17:07,080 --> 01:17:15,160
Speaker 3: you're missing? It's like, well, you know, I guess, I guess,

1667
01:17:15,280 --> 01:17:18,559
Speaker 3: like I kind of try to have analogies because I

1668
01:17:18,600 --> 01:17:20,960
Speaker 3: want people to take their same logic and introduced it

1669
01:17:21,000 --> 01:17:25,960
Speaker 3: to any other area of life, of life. Uh oh no,

1670
01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:28,800
Speaker 3: just let me. I just mean that romance to some men,

1671
01:17:30,240 --> 01:17:33,680
Speaker 3: specifically black men, specifically black men who never watched their

1672
01:17:33,680 --> 01:17:37,960
Speaker 3: mom get bought flowers, right, specifically black men who've never

1673
01:17:38,360 --> 01:17:41,479
Speaker 3: who were never brought up in an environment that catered

1674
01:17:41,479 --> 01:17:45,240
Speaker 3: to women, you know, especially because they don't get the like,

1675
01:17:45,280 --> 01:17:49,880
Speaker 3: where do urban black men American right, let's be let's

1676
01:17:49,920 --> 01:17:54,680
Speaker 3: be specific, where do urban black men get their romance

1677
01:17:54,760 --> 01:17:55,679
Speaker 3: programming from?

1678
01:17:55,840 --> 01:17:58,400
Speaker 1: You know what, I think it's wrong. I believe it's taught.

1679
01:17:58,439 --> 01:18:00,200
Speaker 1: I think I think we all all win and have

1680
01:18:00,280 --> 01:18:01,879
Speaker 1: had to do a service with one.

1681
01:18:01,760 --> 01:18:04,800
Speaker 2: Nick yes to tea you gotta teach.

1682
01:18:04,800 --> 01:18:08,320
Speaker 1: You gotta teach your ex girlfriend that nigga's so good,

1683
01:18:08,640 --> 01:18:11,280
Speaker 1: random flowers all the time. Thank you girl. You gotta

1684
01:18:11,320 --> 01:18:13,160
Speaker 1: find out who I am yet, because you're probably going

1685
01:18:13,200 --> 01:18:16,280
Speaker 1: deep in the pictures and being like this bitch. But yeah,

1686
01:18:16,439 --> 01:18:19,040
Speaker 1: I learn it from when I was my ex last one.

1687
01:18:19,160 --> 01:18:22,320
Speaker 1: Just you learn it from women. I actually believe this

1688
01:18:22,360 --> 01:18:25,759
Speaker 1: is why men need homegirls, female friendship and kinship.

1689
01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:28,639
Speaker 3: No when they when they took black churches and black

1690
01:18:28,640 --> 01:18:33,439
Speaker 3: community centers. Uh, black people are never as youth. Inner

1691
01:18:33,439 --> 01:18:35,640
Speaker 3: city black kids are never put in an opportunity in

1692
01:18:35,640 --> 01:18:38,800
Speaker 3: a situation other than school where they can develop and

1693
01:18:38,880 --> 01:18:43,000
Speaker 3: fellowship like platonically right, like it's and then even as

1694
01:18:43,040 --> 01:18:46,599
Speaker 3: even as adults, man the networking events are never as

1695
01:18:46,640 --> 01:18:49,479
Speaker 3: crowded as the nightclubs. And we're all in this in

1696
01:18:49,520 --> 01:18:52,840
Speaker 3: this you know romance, like not even romantic, it's just

1697
01:18:52,840 --> 01:18:55,160
Speaker 3: the sexual culture. So we don't have a place that

1698
01:18:55,240 --> 01:18:58,960
Speaker 3: we harvest them like like like like Sunday school and

1699
01:18:59,080 --> 01:19:02,200
Speaker 3: church and acquire practice the day before that was enough

1700
01:19:02,240 --> 01:19:05,960
Speaker 3: programming to compete with the world, like with school, and

1701
01:19:06,000 --> 01:19:08,920
Speaker 3: it's like whatever, whatever, whatever got drilled into my kids'

1702
01:19:08,920 --> 01:19:11,880
Speaker 3: brains through Monday through Friday, between a good home and

1703
01:19:12,040 --> 01:19:14,679
Speaker 3: church and community activities, it would.

1704
01:19:14,520 --> 01:19:15,799
Speaker 1: Kind of wash that shit out.

1705
01:19:16,000 --> 01:19:21,200
Speaker 3: But at a certain age, right, I can no longer

1706
01:19:21,200 --> 01:19:24,960
Speaker 3: be responsible, like just I have to take ownership over

1707
01:19:25,040 --> 01:19:28,080
Speaker 3: my own rearing, Like as a twenty two year old man,

1708
01:19:28,240 --> 01:19:30,519
Speaker 3: if I didn't have certain qualities, it would be a

1709
01:19:30,600 --> 01:19:34,680
Speaker 3: lot easier for me to blame my parents or you know,

1710
01:19:34,920 --> 01:19:35,360
Speaker 3: just you know.

1711
01:19:35,439 --> 01:19:39,200
Speaker 4: But at forty So with that said, yeah, to rap it.

1712
01:19:39,160 --> 01:19:40,479
Speaker 3: To rapid, because we gotta.

1713
01:19:40,320 --> 01:19:42,519
Speaker 1: Go no, no, no, just like actually, because I really

1714
01:19:42,560 --> 01:19:45,360
Speaker 1: am curious from what you're on right now. Sure, if

1715
01:19:45,360 --> 01:19:48,280
Speaker 1: a woman and you have a casual sexual relationship.

1716
01:19:47,760 --> 01:19:50,000
Speaker 3: Casual sexual relationship.

1717
01:19:49,479 --> 01:19:52,640
Speaker 1: And romance is something she's requiring, do you feel like

1718
01:19:52,760 --> 01:19:54,000
Speaker 1: that's too much to add.

1719
01:19:54,240 --> 01:19:57,479
Speaker 3: I think even my casual sex comes with romance because

1720
01:19:57,560 --> 01:20:01,160
Speaker 3: I don't that the pleasure of pen tration is great,

1721
01:20:01,720 --> 01:20:04,240
Speaker 3: but the viscosity is I'm.

1722
01:20:04,080 --> 01:20:05,960
Speaker 1: Gonna use that. That's a good one, dis.

1723
01:20:08,160 --> 01:20:15,960
Speaker 2: B I s see, oh see why that sounded right, nigga?

1724
01:20:16,040 --> 01:20:20,560
Speaker 1: At one point you think that that most should.

1725
01:20:21,880 --> 01:20:23,840
Speaker 3: Well, a lot of a lot of people were taught

1726
01:20:23,840 --> 01:20:27,919
Speaker 3: how to how to talk to desire sex separate from romance.

1727
01:20:28,840 --> 01:20:32,040
Speaker 3: I thought sex for me was always the result of

1728
01:20:32,080 --> 01:20:35,800
Speaker 3: my romance. Like I was writing poems and cooking for

1729
01:20:35,880 --> 01:20:39,800
Speaker 3: women before I kissed them, and I was, you know

1730
01:20:39,840 --> 01:20:42,200
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, like I had to. I wanted to

1731
01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:46,680
Speaker 3: be romantic because I it felt good for me to

1732
01:20:46,760 --> 01:20:49,880
Speaker 3: be romantic, but I knew it it made them feel

1733
01:20:49,920 --> 01:20:50,400
Speaker 3: good too.

1734
01:20:52,479 --> 01:20:56,400
Speaker 1: But it was your blur a line for either party?

1735
01:20:56,520 --> 01:20:57,200
Speaker 2: Of course it does.

1736
01:20:57,600 --> 01:20:59,120
Speaker 3: It can't finish the question.

1737
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:00,880
Speaker 2: I know where shes gonna does it ever?

1738
01:21:00,920 --> 01:21:03,240
Speaker 1: Blur line for either parties to where it may not

1739
01:21:03,280 --> 01:21:06,759
Speaker 1: be healthy? He is this where we fall into.

1740
01:21:06,920 --> 01:21:10,000
Speaker 3: Well, yes, yes, the best the love of mone fall into.

1741
01:21:10,160 --> 01:21:12,719
Speaker 2: But that's where you have to constantly. But that's where

1742
01:21:12,960 --> 01:21:15,680
Speaker 2: talking and listening to me comes into play. It's communication,

1743
01:21:15,760 --> 01:21:18,439
Speaker 2: and we always talk about communication being key, right, We've

1744
01:21:18,479 --> 01:21:21,920
Speaker 2: been saying that from episode one, So to me, when

1745
01:21:21,960 --> 01:21:24,519
Speaker 2: you you have to express the things that you want,

1746
01:21:24,640 --> 01:21:27,160
Speaker 2: what you're looking for, and you have to listen to

1747
01:21:27,200 --> 01:21:29,160
Speaker 2: what this person also wants, but what they're willing to

1748
01:21:29,160 --> 01:21:30,720
Speaker 2: offer as soon as.

1749
01:21:30,479 --> 01:21:34,040
Speaker 1: I can't handle this. Actually I'm a person that I

1750
01:21:34,080 --> 01:21:38,080
Speaker 1: cannot handle too much romance in casual situations because it's

1751
01:21:38,120 --> 01:21:42,320
Speaker 1: ann casual situation, because it's actually so needed and important

1752
01:21:42,360 --> 01:21:44,400
Speaker 1: for me that I would not know what to do

1753
01:21:44,439 --> 01:21:46,479
Speaker 1: with it. I'm gonna really receive it, you know what

1754
01:21:46,520 --> 01:21:47,880
Speaker 1: I'm saying, You fucking make it?

1755
01:21:48,000 --> 01:21:49,920
Speaker 3: Are you're scared though? Like? Have you? Have you done

1756
01:21:49,960 --> 01:21:53,160
Speaker 3: the right to ask yourself through? Am I? Am? I? Am?

1757
01:21:53,160 --> 01:21:55,639
Speaker 3: I afraid of going I want to keep the romance

1758
01:21:55,640 --> 01:21:57,960
Speaker 3: at baby, because I'm afraid of going over the cliff hurt,

1759
01:21:58,280 --> 01:22:00,920
Speaker 3: not even being hurt, but just being just unlocking that

1760
01:22:01,000 --> 01:22:03,479
Speaker 3: level of romance to where you get to Wheremandy is

1761
01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:05,559
Speaker 3: and I can't have the sex without the romances. Like

1762
01:22:05,640 --> 01:22:08,439
Speaker 3: is that is that a genuine fear? You know?

1763
01:22:08,520 --> 01:22:11,519
Speaker 1: Like if I fear, actually it's not her, it's not that,

1764
01:22:11,640 --> 01:22:15,120
Speaker 1: it's more about I know that people have an understanding.

1765
01:22:15,200 --> 01:22:17,880
Speaker 1: Let's just say we're gonna start fucking right, and I

1766
01:22:17,920 --> 01:22:19,880
Speaker 1: know you're a poet type of dude. I know you're

1767
01:22:19,880 --> 01:22:22,800
Speaker 1: gonna have the candles out. If you started doing those

1768
01:22:22,800 --> 01:22:24,760
Speaker 1: things for me, the lines would be blurred because this

1769
01:22:24,800 --> 01:22:27,280
Speaker 1: is simply something that turns you on as a part

1770
01:22:27,320 --> 01:22:29,759
Speaker 1: of sex. You're that type of guy scorpio or whatever.

1771
01:22:30,439 --> 01:22:32,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like, Oh, this feels amazing. I would

1772
01:22:33,000 --> 01:22:35,920
Speaker 1: love to keep having this. My brain just can't compute

1773
01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:37,280
Speaker 1: romance and sex.

1774
01:22:37,160 --> 01:22:41,600
Speaker 2: So you can because you can't comp I've compartmentalized especially

1775
01:22:42,040 --> 01:22:46,160
Speaker 2: sex like often, like I've had sex because I was

1776
01:22:46,240 --> 01:22:48,400
Speaker 2: drunk and just wanted to have fun. I ate pussy

1777
01:22:48,400 --> 01:22:49,960
Speaker 2: because I just wanted to eat pussy, not that it

1778
01:22:50,040 --> 01:22:53,080
Speaker 2: was anything more than that, and in my twenties whether

1779
01:22:53,120 --> 01:22:54,759
Speaker 2: it was transactional.

1780
01:22:56,800 --> 01:22:58,000
Speaker 1: Shut up. Likely.

1781
01:22:58,680 --> 01:23:02,920
Speaker 2: So so because I've been able to compartmentalize sex as

1782
01:23:03,000 --> 01:23:06,240
Speaker 2: something that genuinely makes me feel good. Now that I'm

1783
01:23:06,320 --> 01:23:09,400
Speaker 2: able to even add the levels of romance that make

1784
01:23:09,439 --> 01:23:12,120
Speaker 2: me feel good, says don't make me say why you?

1785
01:23:12,160 --> 01:23:13,920
Speaker 2: Steven said, I wish I could have sex like you? Right,

1786
01:23:14,320 --> 01:23:20,160
Speaker 2: everybody more shit like it is. This is cannot do this.

1787
01:23:18,960 --> 01:23:22,599
Speaker 1: I ain't trying to do the ship like my homegirl

1788
01:23:22,640 --> 01:23:25,599
Speaker 1: asking for my homegirl wants to do to start doing

1789
01:23:25,600 --> 01:23:28,160
Speaker 1: things that make her feel more of a human being

1790
01:23:28,439 --> 01:23:31,400
Speaker 1: when in reality, but see that because she doesn't, she

1791
01:23:31,439 --> 01:23:35,080
Speaker 1: doesn't find the value of just being someone's sex fuck buddy.

1792
01:23:35,200 --> 01:23:39,320
Speaker 1: Right to me though, this is to me a patriarchal thing.

1793
01:23:39,360 --> 01:23:41,240
Speaker 2: You know, No, I get it, I get it. But

1794
01:23:41,640 --> 01:23:44,519
Speaker 2: there's also, like I said, there's a layer. Then she

1795
01:23:44,640 --> 01:23:45,759
Speaker 2: needs to sit with herself.

1796
01:23:46,240 --> 01:23:48,840
Speaker 3: Is it is she need to sit with a nigga?

1797
01:23:48,880 --> 01:23:52,640
Speaker 1: I feel like doing it? Hit me how great it

1798
01:23:52,680 --> 01:23:54,240
Speaker 1: is you were able to call me on the way

1799
01:23:54,240 --> 01:23:56,040
Speaker 1: back from Yeah, I just got it and going and

1800
01:23:56,200 --> 01:23:57,160
Speaker 1: I just got fucking.

1801
01:23:56,960 --> 01:23:58,559
Speaker 3: Now, how are you going to say at your job

1802
01:23:58,600 --> 01:24:00,679
Speaker 3: paying twenty two without asking for twenty five?

1803
01:24:01,280 --> 01:24:05,200
Speaker 1: Point? Is if you decided, hey, I'm casual. We're casual.

1804
01:24:05,280 --> 01:24:06,400
Speaker 1: This isn't going beyond this.

1805
01:24:07,040 --> 01:24:09,320
Speaker 3: Yesterday's price is not today's.

1806
01:24:08,880 --> 01:24:12,000
Speaker 2: Price, period, Please period, It's the price when I signed on.

1807
01:24:12,040 --> 01:24:12,280
Speaker 1: No matter.

1808
01:24:13,200 --> 01:24:15,759
Speaker 2: So here's the thing to all women that she wants

1809
01:24:15,960 --> 01:24:19,639
Speaker 2: him to take her on a date or to feed her, whatever,

1810
01:24:19,960 --> 01:24:22,680
Speaker 2: whatever the case may be. Right as women, if you

1811
01:24:22,800 --> 01:24:25,679
Speaker 2: express that you need something or that you want something,

1812
01:24:25,720 --> 01:24:28,160
Speaker 2: and this man is like, I ain't got it for you.

1813
01:24:28,560 --> 01:24:31,960
Speaker 2: That now becomes her responsibility if this man is not

1814
01:24:32,000 --> 01:24:33,599
Speaker 2: willing to give her what she wants, like me.

1815
01:24:35,120 --> 01:24:37,719
Speaker 1: So what's happening on this? And she feels so down

1816
01:24:37,800 --> 01:24:40,280
Speaker 1: like because she's like, I can't believe he won't do

1817
01:24:40,320 --> 01:24:43,400
Speaker 1: this for me. She's feeling bad about herself. I'm like, girl,

1818
01:24:43,840 --> 01:24:47,000
Speaker 1: it's literally learning with men. He's about to get into

1819
01:24:47,040 --> 01:24:49,120
Speaker 1: a thing with you because now y'all are taking this

1820
01:24:49,200 --> 01:24:51,759
Speaker 1: bedroom shit out in the real world and it's gonna

1821
01:24:51,760 --> 01:24:54,880
Speaker 1: turn into something headache.

1822
01:24:54,720 --> 01:24:59,240
Speaker 3: If you if you you gotta can, Can we normalize

1823
01:25:00,120 --> 01:25:06,160
Speaker 3: sticking dick and girls you wouldn't feed just to stick

1824
01:25:06,200 --> 01:25:08,720
Speaker 3: your dick? And a woman like I don't understand that.

1825
01:25:09,040 --> 01:25:12,240
Speaker 3: If if I've gotten the opportunity to sleep with a

1826
01:25:12,280 --> 01:25:16,360
Speaker 3: woman without food for time and her only up the

1827
01:25:16,400 --> 01:25:19,080
Speaker 3: price is like, yo, can we get a two for

1828
01:25:19,080 --> 01:25:22,400
Speaker 3: forty at the sizzler before we step to that crib

1829
01:25:22,439 --> 01:25:22,960
Speaker 3: getting down?

1830
01:25:22,960 --> 01:25:24,480
Speaker 1: Well, I hanging with no sizzler.

1831
01:25:24,120 --> 01:25:26,320
Speaker 3: Bit I mean, but I mean I regardless, like bro,

1832
01:25:26,600 --> 01:25:29,760
Speaker 3: like I will, I will feed you dick, but not postive.

1833
01:25:29,880 --> 01:25:32,360
Speaker 1: Anyways, Mike, thank you so much for joining us.

1834
01:25:32,640 --> 01:25:33,439
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

1835
01:25:34,760 --> 01:25:36,720
Speaker 2: Can you please let everyone know where they can follow you,

1836
01:25:36,720 --> 01:25:38,560
Speaker 2: where they can support you, and also your book that

1837
01:25:38,640 --> 01:25:38,960
Speaker 2: you got.

1838
01:25:39,120 --> 01:25:41,040
Speaker 3: Yes, all right, So my name is just Mike the Poet.

1839
01:25:41,040 --> 01:25:43,920
Speaker 3: You can follow me on all platforms, Just Mike the Poet,

1840
01:25:44,000 --> 01:25:46,760
Speaker 3: j U S T M I K E T H.

1841
01:25:46,800 --> 01:25:49,040
Speaker 1: E p o E. What's your cash? We need to

1842
01:25:49,040 --> 01:25:50,160
Speaker 1: send you some shoes.

1843
01:25:50,040 --> 01:25:52,439
Speaker 3: Dollar dollar signs the Poet.

1844
01:25:52,760 --> 01:25:53,599
Speaker 1: I know that's right.

1845
01:25:54,880 --> 01:25:57,200
Speaker 2: If you want some bonus content, make sure you head

1846
01:25:57,200 --> 01:25:59,559
Speaker 2: on over to our patreon his patreon dot com.

1847
01:25:59,600 --> 01:26:01,879
Speaker 1: Thanks horrid bled This is the Yons.

1848
01:26:02,000 --> 01:26:03,640
Speaker 2: We have a lot of good stuff over there, and

1849
01:26:04,080 --> 01:26:05,920
Speaker 2: I'm making it now too to where Weezy and I

1850
01:26:06,080 --> 01:26:07,960
Speaker 2: go on a lot of other podcasts, and so if

1851
01:26:08,000 --> 01:26:10,040
Speaker 2: you just want to see where're at, that's posted on there.

1852
01:26:10,200 --> 01:26:12,640
Speaker 2: We have bonus content. I'm taking live calls. We do

1853
01:26:12,720 --> 01:26:15,639
Speaker 2: town halls every goddamn month. So go ahead and join us,

1854
01:26:15,760 --> 01:26:18,479
Speaker 2: support us. We love y'all. This has been yet another

1855
01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:20,160
Speaker 2: episode of Horrior Decisions.

1856
01:26:20,160 --> 01:26:30,400
Speaker 5: Bye bye, it's bonus bitches, catch up, yalla.

1857
01:26:31,160 --> 01:26:33,320
Speaker 1: Behind the paywall is such a nice place to talk

1858
01:26:33,320 --> 01:26:35,120
Speaker 1: about yourself because our YouTube.

1859
01:26:34,960 --> 01:26:37,439
Speaker 2: They'd be like damn bitch, you crying again, y'all. I

1860
01:26:37,439 --> 01:26:39,080
Speaker 2: ain't been runing a long time. Y'all can suck my

1861
01:26:39,080 --> 01:26:41,160
Speaker 2: diff from the back. That's that's what the fuck I see.

1862
01:26:41,200 --> 01:26:42,680
Speaker 4: I'm trying to think. Hold on, when's the last time

1863
01:26:42,720 --> 01:26:43,120
Speaker 4: I cried?

1864
01:26:45,120 --> 01:26:47,200
Speaker 2: The last time I cried was on Patreon when I

1865
01:26:47,280 --> 01:26:49,240
Speaker 2: was going through all that goddamn bullshit with that bitch,

1866
01:26:49,280 --> 01:26:51,200
Speaker 2: I can talk about something emo all right now, you

1867
01:26:51,200 --> 01:26:51,920
Speaker 2: could be chemo.

1868
01:26:52,600 --> 01:26:57,080
Speaker 1: So BT weekend came. My boyfriend came to LA and

1869
01:26:57,439 --> 01:26:59,360
Speaker 1: I don't really talk about my dad too much because

1870
01:26:59,360 --> 01:27:01,040
Speaker 1: for me, I don't like to really talk about his

1871
01:27:01,120 --> 01:27:04,519
Speaker 1: health and you know, he's getting older. But I was

1872
01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:07,960
Speaker 1: so emotional because he met my dad and my dad

1873
01:27:08,040 --> 01:27:09,599
Speaker 1: was just having a hard day. You know older people

1874
01:27:09,640 --> 01:27:11,120
Speaker 1: like they got a good day, they got a bad day.

1875
01:27:11,880 --> 01:27:14,720
Speaker 1: So he just needed a little care and stuff like that.

1876
01:27:14,760 --> 01:27:16,640
Speaker 1: But it was a very vulnerable thing for me to

1877
01:27:16,680 --> 01:27:18,880
Speaker 1: meet my dad because no one had met my dad

1878
01:27:18,920 --> 01:27:21,479
Speaker 1: since olday and at that point my dad wasn't in

1879
01:27:21,520 --> 01:27:25,160
Speaker 1: a wheelchair, so this was like a new thing and

1880
01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:27,960
Speaker 1: we hadn't really talked about it much. My mom was there.

1881
01:27:28,000 --> 01:27:29,960
Speaker 1: We all just played games together. It was nice like

1882
01:27:29,960 --> 01:27:31,400
Speaker 1: we were enjoying each other's company.

1883
01:27:31,920 --> 01:27:32,880
Speaker 2: We hadn't really talked about it.

1884
01:27:32,920 --> 01:27:34,080
Speaker 1: I just told him how much it meant to me.

1885
01:27:34,400 --> 01:27:38,800
Speaker 1: Last night we were on a double date. He said,

1886
01:27:40,400 --> 01:27:42,160
Speaker 1: we talked to a couple that just got married. We

1887
01:27:42,200 --> 01:27:44,320
Speaker 1: just went to their wedding. It was Gila. Y'all always

1888
01:27:44,320 --> 01:27:46,800
Speaker 1: hear me talk about the other Guila. So basically we

1889
01:27:46,800 --> 01:27:48,639
Speaker 1: talked about each other's parents and he was like, yeah,

1890
01:27:48,680 --> 01:27:50,200
Speaker 1: I just got to meet her dad, and it was

1891
01:27:50,240 --> 01:27:53,600
Speaker 1: so nice to see how that side of her is.

1892
01:27:53,640 --> 01:27:55,000
Speaker 1: Like I see her mom and her but I was

1893
01:27:55,040 --> 01:27:56,599
Speaker 1: glad to see her dad, Like I see the more

1894
01:27:56,640 --> 01:27:59,840
Speaker 1: serious side. I see this protector energy that she has.

1895
01:28:00,360 --> 01:28:02,880
Speaker 1: I'm like, my dad didn't even really talk, so how

1896
01:28:02,880 --> 01:28:04,800
Speaker 1: did you see all that? Like all we did is

1897
01:28:04,800 --> 01:28:06,120
Speaker 1: play a game. He didn't really say much to you.

1898
01:28:06,840 --> 01:28:09,200
Speaker 1: He was like, because I could see it the way

1899
01:28:09,360 --> 01:28:11,479
Speaker 1: you and your mom would move around. He would want

1900
01:28:11,520 --> 01:28:13,559
Speaker 1: to look watch where you're going, to make sure you're good,

1901
01:28:13,880 --> 01:28:16,519
Speaker 1: even if you can't open the door. It's always there,

1902
01:28:16,560 --> 01:28:20,640
Speaker 1: like his masculinity is always there. And I was like, damn, bro, Like,

1903
01:28:21,800 --> 01:28:25,320
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's just dating someone that's a

1904
01:28:25,320 --> 01:28:26,080
Speaker 1: little more.

1905
01:28:27,720 --> 01:28:28,840
Speaker 2: Empathetic or what.

1906
01:28:29,120 --> 01:28:32,960
Speaker 1: But like, I never had conversations like this outside of

1907
01:28:33,160 --> 01:28:37,320
Speaker 1: scissors about my parents or how things make me feel.

1908
01:28:37,360 --> 01:28:41,000
Speaker 4: Like all day was very surface level, and I it's a.

1909
01:28:40,960 --> 01:28:42,880
Speaker 2: Lot of men are, and especially black men.

1910
01:28:42,920 --> 01:28:45,280
Speaker 1: It just doesn't hit you until it hits you when

1911
01:28:45,320 --> 01:28:48,439
Speaker 1: you have something different. And like, I'm watching him and

1912
01:28:48,439 --> 01:28:50,400
Speaker 1: I don't want to start crying. And at this table

1913
01:28:50,400 --> 01:28:52,080
Speaker 1: we're having like this fun dinner. But I was like,

1914
01:28:52,560 --> 01:28:54,240
Speaker 1: he was thinking all that, and he said, then I wondered.

1915
01:28:54,280 --> 01:28:56,400
Speaker 1: There were a few moments where I was like thinking

1916
01:28:56,439 --> 01:28:57,960
Speaker 1: of how he looked at me and he's not even

1917
01:28:57,960 --> 01:28:58,519
Speaker 1: saying this to me.

1918
01:28:59,080 --> 01:29:00,000
Speaker 2: He's saying this to gils Has.

1919
01:29:00,400 --> 01:29:03,640
Speaker 1: He's like, I can watch him look at me with

1920
01:29:03,760 --> 01:29:06,320
Speaker 1: his daughter and like he used to be this protector

1921
01:29:06,360 --> 01:29:08,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like the new one now for her. And

1922
01:29:08,680 --> 01:29:11,160
Speaker 1: it's like this weird moment I'm having and I'm like

1923
01:29:11,800 --> 01:29:14,719
Speaker 1: what because he told me none of this and he's

1924
01:29:14,840 --> 01:29:16,719
Speaker 1: really thinking about it, and he's like and it made

1925
01:29:16,720 --> 01:29:20,559
Speaker 1: me wonder how he feels like you should be, you know,

1926
01:29:21,120 --> 01:29:23,640
Speaker 1: going and drilling your daughter's new man and figuring all

1927
01:29:23,640 --> 01:29:25,559
Speaker 1: this shit. And he's like, but maybe he can't do that.

1928
01:29:25,600 --> 01:29:27,120
Speaker 1: Because he's in a wheel chair, but because he can't

1929
01:29:27,120 --> 01:29:29,519
Speaker 1: move around on his own, like maybe he's feeling a way.

1930
01:29:29,800 --> 01:29:33,040
Speaker 1: And I was like, bro, it was just getting me

1931
01:29:33,200 --> 01:29:35,559
Speaker 1: really emotional. And we were in the car home. I

1932
01:29:35,640 --> 01:29:39,280
Speaker 1: was like, oh, like you'really gonna be my husband, Like oh,

1933
01:29:39,400 --> 01:29:43,639
Speaker 1: that's like I understand now, Like this is why this

1934
01:29:43,680 --> 01:29:47,400
Speaker 1: is happening. This weekend we went to a Nigerian wedding

1935
01:29:47,400 --> 01:29:50,240
Speaker 1: and I got to be around his parents again. And

1936
01:29:50,360 --> 01:29:54,000
Speaker 1: when I walked in, not joking, I was the only

1937
01:29:54,080 --> 01:29:58,120
Speaker 1: light skinned person it was.

1938
01:29:57,720 --> 01:30:00,040
Speaker 2: I was like, I felt like a white one.

1939
01:30:03,160 --> 01:30:06,040
Speaker 1: Nigga. I wanted there. I was like, and mind you.

1940
01:30:06,000 --> 01:30:07,840
Speaker 2: I'm asking you sure we all got wearing nothing African.

1941
01:30:07,920 --> 01:30:09,599
Speaker 1: He's just not an anti table nigga. He's like, no, baby,

1942
01:30:09,600 --> 01:30:12,240
Speaker 1: I'm wearing my fucking tabby booths. Like do your thing,

1943
01:30:12,520 --> 01:30:15,880
Speaker 1: like we dressed a lot. We're sitting at his whole table.

1944
01:30:15,960 --> 01:30:16,240
Speaker 3: His dad.

1945
01:30:16,320 --> 01:30:19,840
Speaker 1: Everybody got African council. This is his dad. He got

1946
01:30:19,920 --> 01:30:21,920
Speaker 1: up there, he's like making a speech and I'm sitting

1947
01:30:21,920 --> 01:30:25,200
Speaker 1: there like, oh my god. They think I'm Puerto Rican

1948
01:30:25,840 --> 01:30:27,760
Speaker 1: and they think that I'm the woman that made you

1949
01:30:27,920 --> 01:30:30,200
Speaker 1: wear a fucking regular suit. Like that's all I could

1950
01:30:30,240 --> 01:30:33,040
Speaker 1: think is that I'm this influence, you know. And then

1951
01:30:33,080 --> 01:30:35,920
Speaker 1: I'm also feeling this pressure because he's been around my

1952
01:30:35,960 --> 01:30:37,559
Speaker 1: mom a lot, right because we're going to LA for

1953
01:30:37,560 --> 01:30:39,360
Speaker 1: a week at a time, and you know, my mom's

1954
01:30:39,520 --> 01:30:43,200
Speaker 1: right there, and I'm just like, am I not doing enough?

1955
01:30:43,280 --> 01:30:45,679
Speaker 1: Like how do I make sure I'm respecting the elders?

1956
01:30:45,680 --> 01:30:48,040
Speaker 1: Like that's such a process with Africans, Like, yeah, what

1957
01:30:48,120 --> 01:30:50,840
Speaker 1: do I do to let them know like how much

1958
01:30:50,880 --> 01:30:52,439
Speaker 1: I care about their son? I don't want to overdo

1959
01:30:52,479 --> 01:30:55,439
Speaker 1: it either with your hands, right, we didn't eat foo

1960
01:30:55,439 --> 01:30:58,559
Speaker 1: food and okay, okay, but making the wedding was Jamaican

1961
01:30:58,640 --> 01:30:59,360
Speaker 1: and African.

1962
01:30:59,560 --> 01:31:01,040
Speaker 2: Okay, so I was on the.

1963
01:31:01,000 --> 01:31:01,920
Speaker 3: Court all right.

1964
01:31:02,040 --> 01:31:06,680
Speaker 1: But anyway, Yeah, it's really tough because now I'm in

1965
01:31:06,680 --> 01:31:08,599
Speaker 1: this phase of my life where I'm like, ooh, like

1966
01:31:08,640 --> 01:31:10,839
Speaker 1: I really want to make sure I never thought.

1967
01:31:10,640 --> 01:31:13,599
Speaker 2: About being this good for someone's mom before we're their parents.

1968
01:31:13,600 --> 01:31:17,599
Speaker 1: But what hit me? I'm at this wedding where he

1969
01:31:17,640 --> 01:31:22,000
Speaker 1: introduced me to fifteen uncles, ten cousins, you know, Africans.

1970
01:31:21,760 --> 01:31:25,559
Speaker 2: Family for family's So you just called a segment from

1971
01:31:25,640 --> 01:31:29,160
Speaker 2: our bonus content Oprah on Patreon. We have so much

1972
01:31:29,160 --> 01:31:33,839
Speaker 2: more bonus content, BTS live episodes, hundreds of hours.

1973
01:31:34,080 --> 01:31:37,439
Speaker 1: How are you not subscribed? Go right now? Patreon dot

1974
01:31:37,479 --> 01:31:39,480
Speaker 1: com Backslash Rebel Decisions