1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: Disgraceland as a production of Double Elvis. 2 00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 2: The stories about Amy Winehouse are insane. She drank her 3 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:24,760 Speaker 2: weight in alcohol, brazenly hit on Prince Harry, tied herself 4 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:28,720 Speaker 2: off to mainline more heroin than nineteen seventy six Keith Richards, 5 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,880 Speaker 2: and tied herself to a boy named Blake who is 6 00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:36,280 Speaker 2: the baddest of bad influences. Amy was also at times 7 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:41,400 Speaker 2: inspired and most always musically speaking, at least inspiring. And 8 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:44,919 Speaker 2: Amy Winehouse made great music. That music you heard at 9 00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 2: the top of the show that wasn't great music. That 10 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,280 Speaker 2: was a preset loop from my melotron called Mello Tango 11 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 2: Flash Flash Flash BK one. I played you that loop 12 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:58,760 Speaker 2: because I can't afford the license for sexy Back by 13 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 2: Justin Timberlake. And why would I play you that specific 14 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:06,280 Speaker 2: slice of rapture inspired cheese? Could I afford it? Because 15 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,839 Speaker 2: that was the number one song in America on October 16 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 2: twenty seven, two thousand and six, And that was the 17 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,520 Speaker 2: day that Amy Winehouse released Back to Black, her smash 18 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 2: second album, an album that would skyrocket her to superstart him. 19 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 3: It make her an. 20 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 2: Easy mark for both the paparazzi and her demons. A 21 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,319 Speaker 2: suffocating reality that would kill the very thing inside of 22 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:31,279 Speaker 2: her that pushed her to make music in the first place. 23 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 2: On this episode, a Mello Tango, electro Cheese, a fleeting 24 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:42,840 Speaker 2: muse in Amy Winehouse, I'm Jake Brennan and this is Disgraceland. 25 00:02:06,920 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 2: Her eyes were open as she walked down the sidewalk 26 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 2: at jacent Camden Square, but they were far away, distant. 27 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 3: They may as well have been closed. 28 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,240 Speaker 2: Amy Winehouse saw none of the chaos around her as 29 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,079 Speaker 2: she made her way down the London street from Holly Arms, 30 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:26,440 Speaker 2: her local, to her flat. Around the way the cameras 31 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:30,000 Speaker 2: there flash, the intrusive shouts from members of the paparazzi 32 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,800 Speaker 2: and their commands do this, don't do that? How's redg 33 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 2: When was the last time he saw Blake? When are 34 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 2: we getting new music? To Amy, it was white noise. 35 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,960 Speaker 2: As disruptive as it was, she could no longer register it. 36 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,800 Speaker 2: She'd walk down the street and affect her thousand yard 37 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 2: junkie stare. It wasn't difficult. She'd done her time in 38 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:52,120 Speaker 2: the shooting gallery. Even if she was off smack, and 39 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,639 Speaker 2: even if she was drunk, she knew how to project 40 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:59,519 Speaker 2: the gaze. Amy would trick herself into thinking about something else. Music, 41 00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:03,120 Speaker 2: always music. She'd watch her voice as if the sound 42 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 2: of it was a physical thing that could be tracked visually. 43 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 3: Amy would take a melody. 44 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,920 Speaker 2: Sometimes one of her own, something she was working on 45 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 2: these days. 46 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,440 Speaker 3: It was usually a classic. 47 00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,760 Speaker 2: From the Torch Songbook, from one of the jazz grades 48 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 2: she admired and studied, Saravaon or Tony Bennett, and Amy 49 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,520 Speaker 2: would imagine that melody passing over her lips and rising 50 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:27,400 Speaker 2: up into the sky, floating freely without the limitations of 51 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 2: this cruel world. It would move with ease around the 52 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 2: clouds from left to right, slinking and sliding over the 53 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 2: imagined bars of some cosmic scale, a sonic manifestation of 54 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:41,480 Speaker 2: the emotion welling up inside of it. A heavily mascarret 55 00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 2: vision board, like one of those transparent acetate sheets the 56 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 2: music school teachers would place on old viewfoil projectors, layered 57 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 2: over the reality of the unwonted fame that complicated her world, 58 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,640 Speaker 2: the same world she tottered through alternately on four inch 59 00:03:55,680 --> 00:04:01,880 Speaker 2: heels and in bloody ballerina shoes. Simpler times, school was out, 60 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 2: reality was in, and it was a mind fuck. Of 61 00:04:04,480 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 2: the highest order. Celebrity was a twenty four to seven invasion. 62 00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:12,320 Speaker 2: It scared away the mews. Before success, the muse was 63 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 2: like a desperate barback at last call, just there, eager 64 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:21,320 Speaker 2: and easy. But after success, the mews became elusive. Every 65 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,840 Speaker 2: so often, Amy would corner the mws, and when she did, 66 00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:27,320 Speaker 2: she'd wrap her tattooed fingers around his throat, push his 67 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,359 Speaker 2: chin up in a way that gave her access to 68 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 2: the part of the neck below the crux of the jaw, 69 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 2: just under the ear. She'd press her lips to his 70 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 2: tight skin and like a vampire, let her hot breath penetrate. 71 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 3: The moment, she could. 72 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 2: Feel the mus giving in to her, sliding one hand 73 00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,159 Speaker 2: to the small of her back, palming her head with 74 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 2: the other, pressing the tips of his fingers to massage 75 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,479 Speaker 2: her scalp gently while she moved her lips and tongue 76 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:54,080 Speaker 2: about his neck. When the sweat started, she knew he 77 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 2: was hers. Her heart would swell. She could feel herself smiling, laughing, 78 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 2: swooning inside, feeling that old feeling inspired celebratory in need 79 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,839 Speaker 2: of a drink, and she turned to the bar for 80 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 2: a quick pull on her pipe, and then back to 81 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 2: the mews, and he'd be gone. 82 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 3: In his place. 83 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:14,640 Speaker 2: The light of a thousand suns flashing and popping in 84 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,039 Speaker 2: her face, blinding her, pushing her blood to boil, ratcheting 85 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,520 Speaker 2: up her anxiety, backing her into her corner, leaving her 86 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,000 Speaker 2: little room to think, to create, to feel, to love. 87 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 2: So sighting her songs across the sky was a tactic, 88 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 2: a defense mechanism, a way to block out the paparazzi, 89 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 2: in a way to stay rooted in creativity. Sometimes it worked, 90 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,360 Speaker 2: most times it didn't. Today was working, so Amy was happy, 91 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 2: a wry smiled, turning up the ends of her lips 92 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 2: as she walked on by, and the Camdens summer air 93 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 2: cooled her skin, and the bustle of early evening was 94 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,480 Speaker 2: kicking in time for Amy to head home from the pub. 95 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 2: Nighttime was not the right time, not for Amy. Too 96 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 2: much temptation, too slippery a slope wasn't always this way, though, 97 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 2: Amy Winos used to own Camden in her own couldn't 98 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 2: care less kind of way. Camden nightlife itself was a 99 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:07,760 Speaker 2: different thing then as well. It was the epicenter of cool, 100 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 2: the Northwest London neighborhood, with its markets, record stores and bookshops. 101 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 2: Was home to a bar called The n that hosted 102 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 2: a party on Monday nights called Trash. Earl Alkin, the 103 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 2: visionary DJ host who launched Trash, revolutionized the UK nightclub 104 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 2: scene with the genre defying music he spun and the 105 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:32,719 Speaker 2: performers he booked. Trash propelled British club culture beyond tired britpop. 106 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:35,720 Speaker 2: And it's where those two star crossed lovers, the electric 107 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 2: guitar and the big beat, the slutty electronic big Beat, 108 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 2: finally said bucket and jumped into sack together. The club's 109 00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 2: demise is too close in the rear view, but in 110 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 2: years to come, music nerds who write about this sort 111 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 2: of thing will come to recognize that Trash was as 112 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 2: influential as the matinees at CBGB or the velvet rope 113 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 2: line at Studio fifty four. In the early two thousands, 114 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:03,480 Speaker 2: electronic music was no longer laying, more precisely, its offshoot, electroclash, 115 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:06,039 Speaker 2: was the height of cool. If you were one of 116 00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,280 Speaker 2: those people who thought drum machines or preprogrammed or triggered 117 00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,840 Speaker 2: drums had quote unquote no soul, you were either old, 118 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 2: out of touch or both. If you were lucky enough 119 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 2: to make it past the fashion police at the door 120 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 2: into Trash on a Monday night, what you found, writhing 121 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,720 Speaker 2: on the dance floor to the angular guitars and filthy 122 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,800 Speaker 2: beats of the Raptures, House of Jealous Lovers or LCD 123 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,800 Speaker 2: sound systems Losing My edge was a sound of the 124 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 2: new Millennium, an urgent, sexier rock and roll and the 125 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 2: embodiment of soul, a jam dance floor of stoned, sauced, sweaty, 126 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,360 Speaker 2: sexy twenty somethings, some of whom were about. 127 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 3: To write the future of pop music. 128 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:47,160 Speaker 2: Trash was basically a rehearsal space for the Libertines, the 129 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 2: scruffy London indie band that defined rock and roll for 130 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:53,640 Speaker 2: a large swath of British teens. Acts like The Strokes, 131 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 2: Kings of Leon, White Stripes, Peaches and Star Making dj 132 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 2: On the Make Mark Ronson all hung out at Trash, 133 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 2: all artists whose influence is felt widely in today's popular music. 134 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 2: As I write this the morning after the sixty first 135 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 2: Annual Grammy Awards, Mark Ronson and Anthony Rosimondo, the touring 136 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:15,559 Speaker 2: guitarist who replaced Pete Doherty, and the Libertines are busy 137 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:18,160 Speaker 2: sleeping off the high of winning the Grammy Award for 138 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 2: Best Song for Lady Gaga's Shallow How's That for influence? 139 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:26,760 Speaker 2: Also in the crowd of Trash on the regular Amy Winehouse, 140 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 2: she could be seen crushed up against the stage of 141 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:34,199 Speaker 2: early Libertine's performances at Trash and Trash's promiscuous air genre 142 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 2: bending music programming can be heard on her Mark Ronson 143 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 2: co produced second album, and of course Trash is where 144 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:46,600 Speaker 2: she met Blake Blake Fielder. Their love was instant, hot, impassioned, 145 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:48,920 Speaker 2: and like most of what would come to define their 146 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 2: future relationship, elicit. Amy and Blake were both seeing other people, 147 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 2: but significant others could not significantly tamp down their lust 148 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,680 Speaker 2: for one another. It was all consuming and for Amy inspiring. 149 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,360 Speaker 2: Blake was amused. The love he brought to the party 150 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:08,240 Speaker 2: was compelling. The drugs he brought to the party were 151 00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 2: another story entirely. Coke, speed pills, heroin, and crack were 152 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:18,800 Speaker 2: all in play, and they played against Amy's inspiration. Her demons, 153 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 2: always just to touch below the surface, were easily called 154 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,320 Speaker 2: into action to speed her descent into the grimy, addictive 155 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:30,560 Speaker 2: underground that a new Boyfriend, Trafficked, did Blake, Fielder, Mover Shaker, 156 00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 2: drama Maker, Roving Gambler with the rambling tongue and the 157 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 2: far away eyes, Thief, Junkie, and the future Mister. Amy Winehouse, 158 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 2: Wu Tang, Clan Shangri, Las, Salt and Peppa, and Donnie 159 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 2: Hathaway all ended up on the mix, the mix playing 160 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 2: on repeat in Amy Winehouse's head. These artists and more 161 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 2: singed to Amy Winehouse. Their musical influence on her was 162 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 2: both obvious and subtle, depending on who you were talking about. 163 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 2: But the one trait they all shared that Amy picked 164 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 2: up on and never put down was their command of voice. 165 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,880 Speaker 2: Say what you will about Wu Tang, the Shangrilas Salt 166 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,280 Speaker 2: and Peppa, and Donnie Hathaway, but when they were doing 167 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,320 Speaker 2: their thing, each ascended to the head of their respective packs, 168 00:10:29,559 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 2: and it was because of the command of their music, 169 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:40,040 Speaker 2: specifically over their voices. Amy Winehouse was a top notched vocalist, 170 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 2: sure a jazz singer. As her hero Tony Bennett said 171 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 2: of her, She's sang the right way. He was right 172 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 2: hearing that quote. It's easy to think that he's talking 173 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,920 Speaker 2: about her technique. And when we talk about vocal technique, physicality, 174 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,959 Speaker 2: and God given gifts figure heavy into the equation, But 175 00:10:56,120 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 2: the other component, emotions, just as important, perhaps more crucial, 176 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 2: is what the singer chooses to do with that emotion. 177 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:07,680 Speaker 2: Like an actor, Singers make choices, and no pop singer 178 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 2: in modern history chose more wisely than Amy Winehouse. She 179 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:15,080 Speaker 2: transported herself in order to connect the lyrics she sang, 180 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 2: whether they were standards sung previously by jazz or motown giants, 181 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 2: or whether they were written by her. And if they 182 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:23,720 Speaker 2: were written by her, you can bet they were drawn 183 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:27,720 Speaker 2: from a place of deep experience, usually pain. She would 184 00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 2: thoroughly search for an emotion before committing her voice to 185 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 2: it in song, and the result was a stunning command 186 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:37,680 Speaker 2: over her instrument, her voice as strong as Jimmy Hendrick's 187 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,040 Speaker 2: command over his guitar, or Keith Moons over his kit, 188 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,400 Speaker 2: or pick your iconic analogy. Amy Winos could match it. 189 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 2: But to make a great record, it takes more than 190 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 2: just that command and that power and that technique. It 191 00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:53,240 Speaker 2: takes something even more special. It takes a song, a 192 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 2: hit song with a lyric that is hardwired to the 193 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:59,240 Speaker 2: singer's heart, where the singer is such a reliable narrator 194 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 2: in the lyric, despite its simplicity, is compelling because of 195 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 2: its authenticity. When a lyric has that combination simplicity, authenticity, 196 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,880 Speaker 2: emotion point of view, it has the power to stop 197 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 2: the world from spinning and make listeners say to themselves, 198 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:17,200 Speaker 2: oh yeah, due, and then sprint to the Internet or 199 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 2: record stores or wherever people get their music to listen 200 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 2: to it over and over and over again. And that's 201 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:27,679 Speaker 2: what Amy Winehouse's breakout single did with the lyric. They 202 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:32,760 Speaker 2: try to make me go to rehab and I said, no, no. 203 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 3: No, of course you did. 204 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:39,559 Speaker 2: Look at you big Ronnie spector, beehive, black mascara for days, tattoos, 205 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,559 Speaker 2: skinny like a cokespoon, teeth fucked up in that sexy 206 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 2: English way, and no kidding, you said, no, no, no, 207 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,880 Speaker 2: you have hearts to break, bars to close, charts to 208 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,480 Speaker 2: top and more and more songs to write for us 209 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 2: about that son of a bit who messed you up? 210 00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:53,600 Speaker 3: What's his name? 211 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,280 Speaker 2: That dude with the rolled up Fred Perry Sleeves who 212 00:12:56,280 --> 00:13:00,520 Speaker 2: constantly looks either hungover or wasted. Your muse, you say, Blake? 213 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 2: Amy Winos had a hit and her new husband, Blake 214 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,559 Speaker 2: Fielder was very much along for the ride, though the 215 00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,920 Speaker 2: ride began over a bumpy road. In the beginning, Amy 216 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,679 Speaker 2: and Blake had significant others, and when they seemed to 217 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 2: have finally committed to each other, Blake bailed and went 218 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 2: back to his girlfriend. Amy was heartbroken, but she was 219 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 2: also inspired. She opened an emotional vein and poured her 220 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 2: heart out into her lyrics and onto tape, and when 221 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 2: her Blake inspired batch of songs was finally released, Amy's 222 00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 2: first single, Rehab, shot up the charts in both the 223 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:38,840 Speaker 2: UK and the States, launching her second album, the Mark 224 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:43,000 Speaker 2: Ronson co produced Back to Black, up the charts. Amy 225 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 2: took America by storm first with a star turning performance 226 00:13:46,559 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 2: on The Late Show with David Letterman, where she and 227 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:53,079 Speaker 2: her excellent borrowed backing band Brooklyn's dap Kings announced her 228 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 2: arrival with authority from There Radio, or what was left 229 00:13:56,559 --> 00:13:58,199 Speaker 2: of it at the time in two thousand and seven. 230 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:02,000 Speaker 2: Along with the Internet behind the single, and with Amy's 231 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 2: arresting punk rock by way of girl group Good Looks 232 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:09,960 Speaker 2: and Quick Wit, the press and the tabloids were immediately intrigued. Suddenly, 233 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 2: Amy Winehouse was everywhere, and before it was all said 234 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,360 Speaker 2: and done, Back to Black would win five Grammy Awards 235 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,960 Speaker 2: and become the second biggest selling album of all time 236 00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 2: in the UK and go on to sello combine twelve 237 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 2: million copies worldwide. But with success comes stress, superstar level stress. 238 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 2: Amy Winehouse now had a shit ton of responsibilities and 239 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 2: all she wanted to do was get back to life 240 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 2: and camp in with Blake, drink, get high, which with 241 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,080 Speaker 2: Blake and Toe was now a preferred way of passing time, 242 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,400 Speaker 2: and write new songs, but she faced extensive touring performing 243 00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 2: songs she had already gotten tired of performing. The reluctant 244 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,640 Speaker 2: pop star was thrust into the music industry marketing machine 245 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:54,600 Speaker 2: and tasked with winning over audiences through TV appearances, interviews 246 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:57,880 Speaker 2: and photoshoots. Worst of all, what came with all of 247 00:14:57,880 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 2: that was increased interest from the tabloid pressed in the 248 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 2: burgeoning age of social media. She was under more scrutiny 249 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 2: than ever and stressed the fuck out about it. Amy 250 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,520 Speaker 2: was sometimes insecure about her looks, her weight, and even 251 00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 2: her talent, and when she felt insecure, she got destructive. 252 00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,359 Speaker 3: After fleeing a photo shoot. 253 00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 2: In tears because she didn't, as she said, feel pretty 254 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 2: enough she managed to find some courage after a fortifying 255 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,000 Speaker 2: bottle or three of champagne. 256 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:26,400 Speaker 3: Drinking through her. 257 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,120 Speaker 2: Work days was the way she coped eating with something 258 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,320 Speaker 2: other people did. Her body suffered. She no longer filled 259 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 2: out her form fitting pin up girl dresses, and sometimes 260 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 2: joked that she used every eating disorder available to her 261 00:15:37,840 --> 00:15:40,960 Speaker 2: as a means of maintaining her figure. As her body 262 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,840 Speaker 2: got smaller and eventually frailer, her hair got bigger, her 263 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 2: makeup more dramatic, she hoped the artifice would create some distance. 264 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,440 Speaker 2: Telegraphed to her fans and detractors alike that what really 265 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 2: mattered was the music. 266 00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 3: Success for Amy. 267 00:15:55,560 --> 00:16:00,640 Speaker 2: Winehouse was not what she expected. It was problematic. Amy 268 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,640 Speaker 2: blamed many of her problems on her daddy issues. Mitch 269 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 2: Winehouse had not only left her mother, Janice, when Amy 270 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,320 Speaker 2: was nine, he'd also brought around to the house the 271 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,600 Speaker 2: woman he'd been having an affair with for most of 272 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 2: Amy's young life, beginning when she was just two years old, 273 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:18,160 Speaker 2: in effect shoving his love life and rejection of them 274 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 2: into their faces. Amy craved her father's attention. She still 275 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 2: looked up to him and wanted his approval, but underlying 276 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 2: that sense of abandonment and rejection were behavioral problems that 277 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 2: she'd shown since she was a toddler. She suffered from depression, 278 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:34,960 Speaker 2: it may have been bipolar, and she was put on 279 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 2: a mood stabilizing drug in an attempt to control her symptoms. 280 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 2: Most often, though, she took her anger out on herself. 281 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 2: She began cutting at age nine, just little lines and 282 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:48,680 Speaker 2: cross hatchet and marks, so tiny you could barely see them, 283 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,080 Speaker 2: but they were there, and they gave her a kind 284 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 2: of release. They gave her a sense of control. However, 285 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 2: fleeting as an adult, she still cut herself. It was 286 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 2: something she and Blake had done separately as children, and 287 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:05,879 Speaker 2: now they did it together. Romantic cut, cut cuts, the 288 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:09,119 Speaker 2: little blood, a little more blood, and then the shame 289 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:12,119 Speaker 2: and the scars. She cut herself to punish herself, to 290 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 2: punish Blake. At the same time, she began to depend 291 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,760 Speaker 2: more and more on Blake, a man who could barely 292 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,880 Speaker 2: take care of himself, to support her emotionally, to take 293 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:24,679 Speaker 2: care of her. Blake was her man, her muse, her mess. 294 00:17:25,119 --> 00:17:27,920 Speaker 2: A hardcore drug user, he brought heroin and crack into 295 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 2: their relationship, but Amy was in some passive victim. She 296 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 2: embraced his world of drugs wholeheartedly. When she was using 297 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,320 Speaker 2: drugs and drinking, Amy lacked self control, And then again, 298 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 2: why should she control herself? She was Amy Winehouse. You 299 00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,679 Speaker 2: never knew which Amy you were going to get. She 300 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 2: could be funny and flamboyant or fucked up in fidgety. 301 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,280 Speaker 2: At the Q Awards in two thousand and six, where 302 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 2: you two received yet another award or some kind, Amy 303 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,800 Speaker 2: was there, sitting in the audience. She got antsy as 304 00:17:57,800 --> 00:18:01,760 Speaker 2: Bono droned on. He literally would not shut up. Amy 305 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:04,320 Speaker 2: wanted to drink, She wanted to smoke, and her feet hurt, 306 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:08,360 Speaker 2: her hair itched. She wanted to leave. Jesus Bono, will 307 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:12,400 Speaker 2: you ever fucking shut up? She shouted, It came out 308 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:16,640 Speaker 2: loud in her heaviest Cockney accent. Heads turned, people shushed. 309 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 2: Bono glared. She could give a shit about pissing off Bono, 310 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 2: and she didn't mind making a scene either. She wanted out. 311 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 2: Award shows weren't her thing for Amy, a girl from Camden. 312 00:18:27,119 --> 00:18:30,640 Speaker 2: Festivals were more to her taste. At the Wireless Festival, 313 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,480 Speaker 2: she was in her element. She hit the vip bar. 314 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 2: She was feeling right in her short yellow halter dress, 315 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 2: peeped toast the lettles, mile high beehive and signature red lipstick. 316 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,240 Speaker 2: She looked around backstage to see who was worthy of 317 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:47,439 Speaker 2: her attention. As jay Z began to set, Amy noticed 318 00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:50,880 Speaker 2: the A listers who were surrounding her, the magnificent Beyonce, 319 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:54,200 Speaker 2: that smug little snob Gwyneth Paltrow, and the has been 320 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:57,879 Speaker 2: twins Kate Moss and Madonna. But Amy wasn't interested in 321 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,960 Speaker 2: any of them. She had her sights set on an 322 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:04,480 Speaker 2: unsuspecting and officially single royal Prince Harry, or Prince hot 323 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 2: Ginge as he was dubbed in the tabloids. He was 324 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:10,479 Speaker 2: captivating in all of his royal glory. Amy watched him 325 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 2: vibe to h to the izo. He raised his hands 326 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,960 Speaker 2: to the anthem, as did his dozen or so bodyguards, 327 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 2: and suddenly they were on high alert because Camden's tattooed 328 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 2: Rose was rolling up on the Prince. The crack addled songstress, 329 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:27,200 Speaker 2: the Great Amy Weinehouse herself was barreling right at him. 330 00:19:27,440 --> 00:19:30,439 Speaker 2: Paparazzi swarmed around her as she moved toward where Harry 331 00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:33,720 Speaker 2: sat at the side of the stage oi Ariy, she called, 332 00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:36,439 Speaker 2: He'd never met her, and he wasn't exactly planning on 333 00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:37,639 Speaker 2: doing that now either. 334 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:42,000 Speaker 3: What was she doing? My god, she was coming closer. Oi, Oi, Harry, 335 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,160 Speaker 3: it's me Amy. 336 00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:46,640 Speaker 2: At this point, security rained down on her and promptly 337 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,679 Speaker 2: apprehended her. Prince Harry remained embarrassed but polay as she 338 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:54,800 Speaker 2: was dragged off by her handlers and then by security. 339 00:19:56,440 --> 00:20:00,359 Speaker 2: Sometimes Amy had things under control. Other times she did, 340 00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:02,439 Speaker 2: and that was the case on the night. Amy had 341 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,600 Speaker 2: been invited by a friend to a children's production of Cinderella. 342 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,920 Speaker 2: The friend was starring as Prince Charming. By the time 343 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 2: Amy arrived, she was feeling the fight rise up in her. 344 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,760 Speaker 2: She wanted to embarrass her friend just a little. She 345 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,160 Speaker 2: wanted attention. She wanted to be funny, to be loved. 346 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 2: She wanted to disrupt to her. She wanted the glass 347 00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 2: slipper to tatterr around and to break to cut. She 348 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 2: wanted she needed the prince. She needed to be Cinderella. 349 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:32,639 Speaker 2: She was Cinderella. Fuck cindas she screamed, marry me, Prince 350 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,920 Speaker 2: Charming me. The little kids in the audience were confused, 351 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:41,600 Speaker 2: the parents shocked, the theater manager beside himself. Amy got 352 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,199 Speaker 2: up out of her seat and was walking up and 353 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:46,480 Speaker 2: down the aisles, trying to take charge with minimal embarrassments. 354 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:50,160 Speaker 2: The theater manager approached, a low voice in her ear said. 355 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 3: Please come with me, miss Winous. She pulled away. 356 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 2: We have a private VIP seating area where you'd be 357 00:20:55,960 --> 00:21:00,000 Speaker 2: more comfortable. He continued, politely, the fuck I'm coming with you. 358 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,720 Speaker 2: A couple of security guards intervened to escort her out 359 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:05,000 Speaker 2: of the building. She said she needed to use the 360 00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,359 Speaker 2: bathroom first, but that was just deployed to hit the 361 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,120 Speaker 2: bar again. She wabbled toward the bathroom and then made 362 00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 2: a break to a small service bar in the hallway. 363 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,800 Speaker 2: To the tuxedo bartender, she said, I want a vodka, 364 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,560 Speaker 2: Miss Winehouse, wouldn't a glass of water be? And then 365 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 2: that's when she hit him with the bartender an open 366 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,880 Speaker 2: handed smack right in his face, then a closed fistwallop. 367 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:30,159 Speaker 2: Then Amy attacked for real, flailing arms and legs, scratching, 368 00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 2: kicking the bartender about twice her size tried restraining Amy, 369 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 2: and that's when of the lubetons connected straight with his balls. 370 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,120 Speaker 2: The full security team managed to get Amy under control. 371 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,240 Speaker 2: Her bodyguard promised she'd report herself to the police. In 372 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 2: the morning, no one had called the cops, but someone 373 00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:49,439 Speaker 2: tipped off the press, and as she left the theater, 374 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:54,800 Speaker 2: the paparazzi was in full effect. Flash flash Flash, an 375 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:58,159 Speaker 2: endless barrage of intrusive cameras and questions. 376 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 3: Amy, what happened? When's the next could coming out? Is 377 00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:03,960 Speaker 3: it ever coming out? Amy? Why are you so skinny? 378 00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:06,639 Speaker 3: What did you smoke tonight? Amy? Where is Blake? Is 379 00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,439 Speaker 3: he cheating on you? When are you going to rehab? Amy? 380 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 2: Amy, Amy, Amy, Amy Amy. She looked up through a tangle, 381 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:17,520 Speaker 2: hair hid undone a mess, one shoe in her hand, 382 00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 2: one lost, her bare feet, stepping unsteadily through the cold 383 00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,959 Speaker 2: winter night. She had just one question for the theater manager, 384 00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:29,080 Speaker 2: the cops, her husband, her father, her fans, the tabloids. 385 00:22:29,119 --> 00:22:33,159 Speaker 2: Sleezy followed her one question, Just who the fuck do 386 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:33,920 Speaker 2: you think you are? 387 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:37,879 Speaker 1: We'll be right back after this word word word. 388 00:22:42,119 --> 00:22:45,320 Speaker 2: Blake Fielder decided on one more drink, right after he 389 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:48,199 Speaker 2: decided on one last line of coke, and after that 390 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:51,119 Speaker 2: he decided that maybe another line was in order, and 391 00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:53,919 Speaker 2: of course, then another drink, and then a line, and 392 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,439 Speaker 2: then a drink, and then a bump and then more drink, 393 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,200 Speaker 2: then a lock of his index finger and a swipe 394 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,280 Speaker 2: across the top of the bathroom sink for what was 395 00:23:01,359 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 2: left of the blow, then a shot to dull the 396 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:07,119 Speaker 2: realization that he had no more coke. He exited the 397 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,760 Speaker 2: bathroom and bobbed his head manically to the song from 398 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,160 Speaker 2: pulp blasting through the club speakers at ear shattering volume, 399 00:23:14,000 --> 00:23:16,439 Speaker 2: and then he sucked his gums, pulled out his empty 400 00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:18,760 Speaker 2: bindle from his sticky jean pocket right there in the 401 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 2: dance floor, and pressed it into his nostrils inhaling hard 402 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:25,639 Speaker 2: but getting nothing. Back to the bar, another shot and 403 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,399 Speaker 2: then a failed attempt at calling his guy. Dude was 404 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:32,040 Speaker 2: nowhere when he needed him, and Jarvis Cocker really needed 405 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 2: to tone it the fuck down. Blake was annoyed, and 406 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 2: coke or no coke that macbeth was bumping. The bar 407 00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:42,119 Speaker 2: had survived two World Wars and even typhoid, but Blake 408 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,560 Speaker 2: and his drinking buddy were about to give the place 409 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 2: of run for its money and open a very unsavory 410 00:23:47,359 --> 00:23:51,200 Speaker 2: chapter in their own lives. They were jacked up, shouting 411 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,520 Speaker 2: at no One in particular and banging on their table, 412 00:23:53,880 --> 00:23:56,560 Speaker 2: and most everyone tried ignoring them. But the crowd at 413 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,959 Speaker 2: the upmarket establishment was getting tired of their cocaine fueled 414 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:03,399 Speaker 2: hooligan bullshit stoned out of their minds and pissed that 415 00:24:03,440 --> 00:24:05,680 Speaker 2: there was no more coke. Blake and his friend were, 416 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,680 Speaker 2: by all accounts ready to blow their tops, live wires, 417 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:11,280 Speaker 2: hot mics, build out and bound to blow, and they 418 00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:14,920 Speaker 2: were scaring the customers. At last, the bar runner, appable 419 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,360 Speaker 2: and impeccably dressed, stepped up to their table and informed 420 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,320 Speaker 2: them that it was time to pay up and go home. 421 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:23,359 Speaker 2: When he escorted Blake and his boy to the door, 422 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 2: the pair grabbed the bartender and dragged him outside by 423 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 2: his suit jacket. Blake's boy threw him to the ground. 424 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,919 Speaker 2: He and Blake then viciously kicked the man in the 425 00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 2: head as he curled into a bloody fetal position. One 426 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 2: kick to the face the sound of cracking bone, the 427 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:39,679 Speaker 2: bartender's cheekbone busted, A kick to his eye and his 428 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:42,679 Speaker 2: eye socket shattered. A brutal kick to one side of 429 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 2: his jaw and then to the other side of his face, 430 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,320 Speaker 2: and the bartender was barely conscious. 431 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:49,720 Speaker 3: When all was said and done. 432 00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:53,399 Speaker 2: After multiple surgeries, the bartender had to have his face 433 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,679 Speaker 2: fitted with metal plates to make it look like a 434 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:59,879 Speaker 2: face again. In his destroyed eye socket was reconstructed with 435 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 2: titanium mesh was used to hold his eye in place. 436 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 2: His jaw, once it was reattached to his skull, was 437 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,560 Speaker 2: held together with a metal bolt. Not ten men down, 438 00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 2: like Roger Moore, just one man. The two coked up 439 00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,480 Speaker 2: idiots kicked the shit out of for no good reason. 440 00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,919 Speaker 2: And there's a name for that kind of beating in 441 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,400 Speaker 2: English criminal law. It's called an assault of grievous bodily 442 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 2: harm with intent or GBH for short. At Snaresbrook Crown Court, 443 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,679 Speaker 2: Blake Fielder was brought before the Honorable Judge David Radforth, 444 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:35,160 Speaker 2: who told Blake that his behavior was quote gratuitous, cowardly 445 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:40,520 Speaker 2: and I should you not a disgrace unquote, Blake incredibly said, 446 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,439 Speaker 2: but Judge, I were write pissed. 447 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:42,920 Speaker 3: At the time. 448 00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 2: The judge thought Fielder was a pathetic swine, shook his 449 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,119 Speaker 2: head in disbelieve. Blake began to worry about the prospect 450 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 2: of serious jail time. Within a few months, Blake was 451 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,080 Speaker 2: falling down and pulling Amy along with him every chance 452 00:25:56,080 --> 00:26:00,560 Speaker 2: he got together. Hand in hand, they were aspiraling, They 453 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 2: were constantly in the news and tabloids. They were busted 454 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:07,040 Speaker 2: for cannabis in Norway, and Amy's embarrassing gig at the 455 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:11,760 Speaker 2: MTV European Music Awards did nothing for her public image. Then, 456 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 2: as if all of it wasn't bad enough, a video 457 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 2: of Amy smoking crack surfaced on the internet as she 458 00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:21,560 Speaker 2: was devastated, and to top that, Blake had tried to 459 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:24,199 Speaker 2: avoid jail for the beating by offering the victim two 460 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 2: hundred thousand pounds to clam up. Blake had been found 461 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,760 Speaker 2: out and been made for the bribe. The jig was 462 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,720 Speaker 2: up and there was no way around it. He was 463 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 2: heading to jail for twenty seven months. So before shipping 464 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,800 Speaker 2: off to prison, he decided it was time to lay low. 465 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 2: He and Amy holed up in their place in Camden, 466 00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,280 Speaker 2: where they drank, smoked, and snorted themselves into daily stoopors 467 00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:48,360 Speaker 2: the dull base of Wu tang in the streets, bouncing 468 00:26:48,440 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 2: constantly in the background cocaine, ketamine, ecstasy. Amy washed it 469 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,760 Speaker 2: all down with stella, red wine and vodka. She and 470 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 2: Blake shut the world out because the world was dangerous. 471 00:27:00,160 --> 00:27:03,640 Speaker 2: People were fucking parasites. They alone would save each other. 472 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,040 Speaker 2: They had to stay together. They were all they had. 473 00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,840 Speaker 2: The knock on the door came out of nowhere. Amy 474 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 2: and Blake were asleep. The knocks then graduated at full 475 00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:16,920 Speaker 2: on banging and shouting. Amy and Blake stirred. 476 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,920 Speaker 3: In their bed. Bang bang, bang, silence. 477 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 2: Police open up, more silence, more banging, then one, two, three, 478 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:29,920 Speaker 2: and finally one big bang. The door miraculously held its own, 479 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,639 Speaker 2: and then the crowbars came out, a crack and the 480 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 2: sound of iron rubbing up against concrete. Amy shot out 481 00:27:35,800 --> 00:27:38,720 Speaker 2: of bed as if from a nightmare. Blake her mouth 482 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:40,320 Speaker 2: was parched and her throat was sore. 483 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:42,920 Speaker 3: This is the police, open up. 484 00:27:43,560 --> 00:27:48,720 Speaker 2: Fuck Blake, bleary eyed, but instantly propelled by adrenaline, Amy's 485 00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:51,879 Speaker 2: husband sprang up from the bed, stumbled over empty bottles 486 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,360 Speaker 2: and overflowing ashtrays, and. 487 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:54,400 Speaker 3: Peered through the curtains. 488 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:57,280 Speaker 2: Down in the street were dozens of police, a fleet 489 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,560 Speaker 2: of panda cars, and a couple of paddy wagons. The 490 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,280 Speaker 2: cops the door with their crowbars proceeded to dig in 491 00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:05,320 Speaker 2: and tug at the sides of the doorframe. Amy leaped 492 00:28:05,320 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 2: to the window, panicking, hyperventilating. Blake he grabbed her by 493 00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:12,720 Speaker 2: the wrist. We gotta go now. He shoved himself into 494 00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,440 Speaker 2: his crumpled jeans, grabbed his hat, phone, and smokes. 495 00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:16,359 Speaker 3: He nabbed an. 496 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 2: Extra t shirt that he would later tie around his 497 00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:20,919 Speaker 2: neck to ease the sting from the long scratch marks 498 00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:24,639 Speaker 2: that angrily scored his flesh from cheeks to chest. Amy 499 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 2: pulled on a skirt from the floor and stepped into 500 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,159 Speaker 2: her filthy ballet slippers. In tears, she pushed up her 501 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:33,240 Speaker 2: battered beehive. It toppled over and pulled on her scalp. 502 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,200 Speaker 2: The hair extensions had torn away the hair at her temples, 503 00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 2: where there were now two large. 504 00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:39,240 Speaker 3: Raw looking bald spots. 505 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,120 Speaker 2: Much of her hair was broken, and the towering hive 506 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,800 Speaker 2: now covered what had once been healthy, lustrous locks. 507 00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 3: Her arms and legs were scratched and bruised. 508 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 2: Her eye liner ran down her face as if she 509 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,400 Speaker 2: had been left out for a week in the rain. 510 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:55,120 Speaker 3: Boom boom boom. 511 00:28:55,120 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 2: Determined to penetrate the apartment, the police had tossed aside 512 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,000 Speaker 2: the crowbars in favor of a battery. 513 00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:02,120 Speaker 3: There was one thing left to do. 514 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 2: Run dirty, crusty, battle wounded, hungover, and still high, the 515 00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:11,040 Speaker 2: two managed to launch themselves down the back stairs like 516 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 2: a tweaked out Bonnie and Clyde. They hauled off to 517 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 2: a road behind the house and held the cab. 518 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 3: They were gone. 519 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 2: The heavy door finally cracked away off its frame and 520 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 2: fell backward into the house. Boots trampled into the regal 521 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,160 Speaker 2: three story residence. 522 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 3: The rooms would have been. 523 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:30,800 Speaker 2: Beautiful if you ignored the debauched party scene, the empties 524 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,120 Speaker 2: and the trash, and the smell of vomit. Even the 525 00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,960 Speaker 2: seasoned cops had to admit that it was pretty bleak. 526 00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 2: And while the raid was really about the warrant for 527 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:42,120 Speaker 2: Blake's arrest for the bride, the police had reasonably expected 528 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 2: to find drugs, but Amy and Blake had finished them off, 529 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:48,959 Speaker 2: and they poked around through the bottles, boxes and ash trees, 530 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,480 Speaker 2: the piles of clothes and clumps of hair, and the 531 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 2: floor was sticky, and the tabletops were covered with a 532 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:57,200 Speaker 2: variety of crack pipes and wads of crumpled tinfoil, but 533 00:29:57,320 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 2: no actual drugs. Amy and Blake had made it to 534 00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 2: North London to the apartment of a friend, and they 535 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 2: were on the run and they had a hide. Meanwhile, 536 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,360 Speaker 2: their paranoia was at full tilt. Had their friends sold 537 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:14,320 Speaker 2: them out to the paparazzi or worse, called the cops? 538 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:18,040 Speaker 2: Was the flat bugged? Had the cops already planted evidence? 539 00:30:18,640 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 2: Amy had a bad feeling. Maybe they should move on 540 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 2: and get out away from their friend's apartment. And was 541 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,800 Speaker 2: she really a friend anyway? Or was she just like 542 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,400 Speaker 2: the rest of them? I had to get her and 543 00:30:28,440 --> 00:30:31,320 Speaker 2: Blake fuck her. Look how she looked at us when 544 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 2: we arrived, Like we're common criminals. Well we're not, We're 545 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,239 Speaker 2: Amy and Blake. And who the fuck are you? And 546 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 2: who are you on the phone with just then? And 547 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 2: who are you calling? And then the doors of the 548 00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:46,240 Speaker 2: apartment broke in with no warning. The police were in 549 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 2: Amy's friends flat, and seconds before Amy could react, they 550 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 2: grabbed Blake and handcuffed him. Amy was beside herself, crying 551 00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:57,000 Speaker 2: violently and hanging on to Blake, Baby, I love you 552 00:30:57,200 --> 00:30:59,719 Speaker 2: and I'll be fine, that sort of thing. She wouldn't 553 00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 2: be fine, not at all. After Blake's arrest, Amy's publicist 554 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,400 Speaker 2: made a statement saying that Amy was recovering from exhaustion 555 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,760 Speaker 2: and asked that the public and the media respect her privacy. 556 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,560 Speaker 3: Like that was ever going to happen. 557 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:17,440 Speaker 2: Recovering from exhaustion, also known as going to rehab, was 558 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:21,360 Speaker 2: something that Amy badly needed. Her family, friends, and record 559 00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,240 Speaker 2: label urged her to enter her facility in Essex to 560 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 2: come off of the drugs and booze. Alcohol was Amy's 561 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 2: true demon, and sea sawing on and off it increased 562 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,440 Speaker 2: the chance that she could die during detox or retoks. 563 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 2: The booze, rather than what she smoked or snorted, brought 564 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:41,360 Speaker 2: the worst havoc on her tiny body. However, her heavy 565 00:31:41,360 --> 00:31:44,520 Speaker 2: cigarette smoking led to a diagnosis of emphysema in two 566 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,040 Speaker 2: thousand and eight. She was only twenty four years old. 567 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:51,400 Speaker 2: Alone at rehab, Amy was desperate to see Blake. While 568 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:54,760 Speaker 2: visits were prohibited, he managed to get to her one time. 569 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 2: He brought her a tiny package, and later, during one 570 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:01,000 Speaker 2: of her daily screenings, doctors found heroin in her life system. 571 00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,440 Speaker 2: Did Blake bring her the drugs out of love or 572 00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:07,400 Speaker 2: something else? He himself was a drug to her, protector, 573 00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:10,840 Speaker 2: her soother her muse, so much so that when Blake 574 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,200 Speaker 2: was incarcerated, Amy moved to a different rehab center just 575 00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:16,960 Speaker 2: to be close to him. But in two thousand and eight, 576 00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,040 Speaker 2: at the insistence of both sets of their parents. Amy 577 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,360 Speaker 2: and Blake divorced. Blake signed the papers while he was 578 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,880 Speaker 2: still in jail, and Amy headed off to Saint Lucia 579 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:44,080 Speaker 2: to quit heroin and quit Blake once and for all. 580 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:48,400 Speaker 2: The doctor was sterned, cross looking, but with empathy in 581 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,880 Speaker 2: his eyes. There was none of the normal condescension, just 582 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 2: seriousness and concern. Amy's family listened intently while Amy slept 583 00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,680 Speaker 2: off the strain of her latest overdose in the adjacent room. 584 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:04,200 Speaker 2: The doctor's words were, no surprise, She'll die if she 585 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,840 Speaker 2: has another overdose. Do you understand me? Amy will die 586 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,040 Speaker 2: with the amount of cocaine, crack, heroin and alcohol in 587 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:13,800 Speaker 2: her system. It's a miracle she's not in a coma. 588 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,960 Speaker 2: You get lucky this time. She's a petite girl. The 589 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,560 Speaker 2: message was clear. Amy Winehouse's family needed to make their 590 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:25,040 Speaker 2: rock star daughter go to rehab and actually rehabilitate, or 591 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:29,000 Speaker 2: she would be dead before her twenty eighth birthday. No, no, 592 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:32,960 Speaker 2: no would not be an acceptable answer. So Amy checked 593 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,680 Speaker 2: herself in at the Priory Clinic in London and made 594 00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:38,720 Speaker 2: a go of it. It was May twenty eleven and 595 00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,600 Speaker 2: she needed to get ready for her European shows happening 596 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,520 Speaker 2: that summer, but when she checked back out, she found 597 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 2: herself uninspired. In semi sobriety, living clean was boring, there 598 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,680 Speaker 2: was no inspiration for new music. Playing her hits was 599 00:33:52,720 --> 00:33:56,760 Speaker 2: also boring, and utter drag no excitement. But the bills 600 00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:01,200 Speaker 2: needed to be paid. Rehab and cheat were booked, including 601 00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:05,400 Speaker 2: her big comeback show in Belgrade. Amy reluctantly agreed the 602 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,960 Speaker 2: money was too good, but she dreaded the thought of 603 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:12,280 Speaker 2: playing the shows, now sober and without Blake. She couldn't 604 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 2: see hersel up there prattling on about rehab and torched 605 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:19,480 Speaker 2: love without alcohol, without her muse. The first show was 606 00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:23,280 Speaker 2: a disaster, with her anxiety through the roof. Beforehand, Amy 607 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,000 Speaker 2: took to a bottle of wine to calmer nerves. She 608 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,759 Speaker 2: drank it fast, the entire bottle, and then another, and 609 00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:32,239 Speaker 2: by the time she appeared on stage in front of 610 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,520 Speaker 2: two hundred thousand people, she was legless, so drunk that 611 00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:40,360 Speaker 2: she was completely unable to perform. The crowd booed Amy 612 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,319 Speaker 2: off stage. It's difficult to watch the video of this 613 00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:46,399 Speaker 2: performance and to see such a commanding artist completely out 614 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:50,200 Speaker 2: of control, unable to do anything. Really, she can barely stand, 615 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:53,359 Speaker 2: never mind sing. She flirts with the backup singers, who 616 00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:56,759 Speaker 2: somehow maintain an air of professionalism and politely chase her 617 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,600 Speaker 2: away from their mics, hoping to drive her to her own, 618 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,279 Speaker 2: to grab it with her spidery fingers and unleash that 619 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:05,800 Speaker 2: tortured voice into it, the voice that almost a quarter 620 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,319 Speaker 2: million people had turned up to see. But instead she 621 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,080 Speaker 2: just sits down on the drum riser and watches the 622 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,280 Speaker 2: show as if she's not even a part of it. 623 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:18,080 Speaker 2: Totally defeated, spent, and when news hit of the show, 624 00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 2: or the lack thereof the rest of the tour was canceled, 625 00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:28,879 Speaker 2: Amy headed home back to campen. Amy's feet hurt. If 626 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,279 Speaker 2: it wasn't the arches from the tight heels, then it 627 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,160 Speaker 2: was the soules from her near soulless ballerina shoes. 628 00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:36,080 Speaker 3: She weaved her way through. 629 00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:39,200 Speaker 2: The paparazzi, the glare of their flashes, the annoyance of 630 00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:42,080 Speaker 2: their shouting. She tried hard to keep the song in 631 00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,279 Speaker 2: her sight, but the muse was gone, and so was 632 00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:49,080 Speaker 2: the song. Her heart sunk, She felt that pole in 633 00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 2: her chest and her mouth water slightly. She knew there 634 00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,160 Speaker 2: was vodka in the house, she'd drink tonight to dull 635 00:35:55,239 --> 00:35:58,360 Speaker 2: the pain, and tomorrow get back on the wagon. But tonight, 636 00:35:58,800 --> 00:36:01,840 Speaker 2: tonight she gets fucked up and fuck around with some music, 637 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,839 Speaker 2: try to get something out onto tape, or at least 638 00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,800 Speaker 2: onto paper. She wabbled up the stairs to her place, 639 00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:11,799 Speaker 2: leaving the soul sucking paparazzi behind on the sidewalk vultures. 640 00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,839 Speaker 2: She headed to the kitchen, grabbed the vodka, popped the top, 641 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:20,160 Speaker 2: and began pulling straight from the bottle. Then she hit 642 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:22,800 Speaker 2: her bedroom. She wanted to play drums, get her blood 643 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:28,160 Speaker 2: and creative juices flowing, with the alcohol coursing through her 644 00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:31,480 Speaker 2: veins and feeling hot and restless. Hitting the sticks some 645 00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:32,879 Speaker 2: the stretched skins. 646 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:35,879 Speaker 3: Would be a release. There were things she needed to do. 647 00:36:36,880 --> 00:36:38,960 Speaker 2: Her heart beat like the wings of a bird in 648 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,319 Speaker 2: a cage trapped, and there were calls and texts she 649 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,759 Speaker 2: needed to return. Her phone was somewhere. When her living 650 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:49,840 Speaker 2: bodyguard complained about the noise, she traded the sticks for 651 00:36:49,960 --> 00:36:53,799 Speaker 2: jazz brushes. She drank more vodka. There the muse. It 652 00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:57,040 Speaker 2: was back, sort of. She could sense it pulling on 653 00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:59,680 Speaker 2: her heart. There was something she needed to write down. 654 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,239 Speaker 2: Tar was somewhere she moved on to some wine she 655 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,319 Speaker 2: had stashed away. There was a song flowing through her. 656 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:10,440 Speaker 2: She could feel it now. The rhythm got slower, jazzier, softer. 657 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:15,160 Speaker 2: The beat was intoxicating. She could feel herself slowing down. 658 00:37:15,440 --> 00:37:18,200 Speaker 2: She could feel her anxiety drifting, the pulse of her 659 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,319 Speaker 2: heart slowing to match the fading rhythm inside of her. 660 00:37:22,360 --> 00:37:24,480 Speaker 2: She let it take her down. She stopped playing, but 661 00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,040 Speaker 2: could still hear the slowing beat, or maybe she could 662 00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:30,800 Speaker 2: just feel it. Finally, she could feel something. She was alive, 663 00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:33,799 Speaker 2: or so she thought. The beat slowed down even more. 664 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:37,680 Speaker 2: She put her hands to her heart, calmer. Now slow, 665 00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:42,480 Speaker 2: so slow, so slow. She slipped down to the floor 666 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:45,120 Speaker 2: off of the drumstool, to her knees, leaning over to 667 00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,160 Speaker 2: her bed to pull the down comforter off of it 668 00:37:47,239 --> 00:37:49,839 Speaker 2: and onto her frail and now freezing body in one 669 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:53,800 Speaker 2: slow mow fell swoop. The beat sounded like it was underwater. 670 00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:54,080 Speaker 3: Now. 671 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,360 Speaker 2: She could see the notes floating around the room along 672 00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:02,400 Speaker 2: with the feathers from the roughled comforter drifted slow, slow, slow, 673 00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:06,000 Speaker 2: through the lamplight and time with the drowning beat. Ever 674 00:38:06,080 --> 00:38:09,600 Speaker 2: so softly. She let herself fall further and further away 675 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:19,120 Speaker 2: from the mews, until eventually she was gone. Thousands of 676 00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:23,080 Speaker 2: mourners with flowers, candles, teddy bears, bottles of Southern comfort, 677 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:26,399 Speaker 2: and packs of smokes, some wearing pin up dresses, some 678 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,800 Speaker 2: in sharp suits, most in tears, stood in front of 679 00:38:29,880 --> 00:38:34,680 Speaker 2: thirty Camden Place to pay their respects, alone, addicted, and 680 00:38:34,760 --> 00:38:37,160 Speaker 2: perhaps most damning, uninspired. 681 00:38:37,560 --> 00:38:39,239 Speaker 3: Their Amy had left them. 682 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 2: She also left them her voice, her incredible voice, but 683 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:48,399 Speaker 2: altogether too soon. Amy Winos was dead at twenty seven 684 00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:54,239 Speaker 2: years old, which is a disgrace. I'm Jake Brennan and 685 00:38:54,400 --> 00:39:11,800 Speaker 2: this this Disgraceland. Disgraceland was created by Yours Truly and 686 00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:15,080 Speaker 2: is produced in partnership with Double Elvis. Credits for this 687 00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,440 Speaker 2: episode can be found on the show notes page at 688 00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:21,480 Speaker 2: disgracelampod dot com. If you're listening as a Disgraceland All 689 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 2: Access member, thank you for supporting the show. 690 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:25,040 Speaker 3: We really appreciate it. 691 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 2: And if not, you can become a member right now 692 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:32,160 Speaker 2: by going to disgracelampod dot com slash Membership members can 693 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:36,080 Speaker 2: listen to every episode of Disgraceland ad free, Plus you'll 694 00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:40,400 Speaker 2: get one brand new exclusive episode every month weekly unscripted 695 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:44,400 Speaker 2: bonus episodes, special audio collections, and early access to merchandise 696 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:49,400 Speaker 2: and events. Visit disgracelampod dot com slash membership for details, 697 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,640 Speaker 2: Rate and review the show, and follow us on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, 698 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:56,640 Speaker 2: and Facebook at disgracelampod and on YouTube at YouTube dot 699 00:39:56,640 --> 00:40:04,600 Speaker 2: com slash at disgracelampod. He's a baddard man.